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nellasbookplanet · 10 months

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Of all the Bell's Hells, the character I think would be most interesting to see having to personally deal with direct mortal-god interactions is Laudna. (that's a lie, I want to see ashton get into contact with the luxon so bad, but the luxon isn’t part of the established pantheon and might not even be a god so that is a discussion for another post)

Mostly, the group seems pretty ambivalent on the gods, but ever since her experiences during the solstice and the party split Laudna has veered from 'neutral' to 'actively negative'. I think it's all her previous compartmentalization being forced to a screeching halt from dealing with so much bad shit at once and she does not like dealing with her emotions, and it's making her lash out at the perceived cause of said emotions: the gods. Were the gods, and in extension all of Exandria, not in danger she and the party wouldn’t be going through hell right now trying to save them. Obviously this isn’t entirely rational and veers on victim blaiming, but characters under a lot of stress and going through dark shit aren’t always logical, and either way Laudna is still working to stop Ludinus regardless of her feelings so I'm not holding it against her.

She's also a pretty isolated and 'me and mine' type character who’s been dealt a very bad hand for most of her life. Prior to meeting the hells, the only person she really cared about was Imogen because Imogen was the only one who cared about her. She doesn’t see 'a god resurrected me', she sees 'Imogen and the hells resurrected me'; she doesn’t see 'the gods, who have done much good in the world, need help', she sees 'the entire world (and especially Imogen), is in danger because the gods, who I've never seen neither hide nor hair of, can’t handle their own shit'. It’s leading to a lot of messy emotions where she has to involve herself in a conflict she doesn’t care about, because the core victims of said conflict (the gods) are people she has zero relationship and connection to.

Having Laudna, through her connection to the Sun Tree, come into contact with Pelor would be such an interesting and challenging route to take. Be it simple visons/dreams, as an extended sort of patron, or fully becoming a champion, either would be cool, but the point is that it would allow Laudna an avenue to work through and come to terms with her conflicted feelings regarding the gods and her own trauma as having nothing to do with them instead of viewing them as borderline scapegoats. It would challenge growth in her as a character, but it would also challenge growth in Pelor, as some of her critiques of him are entirely valid (coughhearthdellcough). It’s good for there to be followers who aren't blindly obedient but who question and challenge.

Also, there’s the fact that Marisha-as-Keyleth, another character who was at best ambivalent about the gods, offered to be Pelor's champion in c1 before Vex stepped up. It'd be cool to finally get to see Marisha truly play out the dynamic of 'jaded mortal forced by circumstance to ally with a god and using it to work through her own feelings of trauma'.

#critical role meta #critical role #cr3 #laudna #this campaign has the opportunity to do some really unique (for critrole) things with god-follower relationships!#already we have fcg fumbling his way as a follower who used to think himself soulless and not alive #now coming to terms with faith entirely without outside guidance and learning personhood through it #we could have ashton fostering a relationship with the luxon in the future #and fearne with a LITERAL BETRAYER GOD #and having laudna‚ a character entirely uninterested in faith and godliness‚ be forced to deal with the gods as people and patrons #would be another really cool and unique route to take #nella talks cr

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bragganhyl · 1 month

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oh what I would give for some crumbs about the relationship between Eothas and Magran pre-Saint's War 😔

#hablaty #like they are the light-themed gods #Magran was the OG rebel god given that her followers were burning Woedica's inqusitors while the inquisition was still happening #Eothas once had an ''i'll light the way but I won't force anyone to walk it'' mindset if the great western stag book is to be believed #which is similar to Magran's insistence to leave kith alone to sort themselves out without guidance bc she believes in their potential #they have a lot of similarities but Magran ultimately works to maintain the status quo and only makes sure that the other gods won't attemp #A power grab #Meanwhile Eothas has grown to realize that the system the gods maintain will always lead to the end of civilations bc the system is broken #So he wants to shatter it completely then remake it which puts him at odds with Magran #like you can't convince me that those two didn't once have a positive sibling bond only for it to break bc Magran would not go the distance #Eothas feels forced to go #pillars of eternity

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zeb-z · 7 months

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missa, after his self resentment and lamenting about how he doesn’t feel worthy or like he should be accepted, after telling himself and the capybaras that he doesn’t have a home, not really - after all is said and done, he returns to phil & missa, leaving his mini mi in the house on the wall. as if he’d consider anywhere other than the house he shared with phil safe enough. seeking out safety and home brought him right back where he started.

something about how despite his internal conflicts and issues about what he thinks he deserves, he’ll still come back. and for all he worries that he is not enough to be loved in return, his name is still on the warp stone.

#he’s got issues out the ass of his self worth and it’s like. yeah shit man you haven’t been reliable but you’re not unloveable #he wants to be better and he tries and he cares the issue is he holds the rest of his family on such a pedestal #this shame and guilt bubbles up and is only made worse when he isn’t rejected or hated like he’s expecting. he’s taken back with open arms #so he follows phil for guidance as to what’s acceptable. without phil there how can he know if it’s ok for him to stay in their home?#as if he didn’t also build their home yknow #but even when all is said and done he returns. even if it makes him feel guilty even if he thinks he doesn’t deserve it #because as much as he doesn’t want to be a bother he wants to be better most of all. wants to be present #I just don’t think he ever expects to be wanted to keep around. like he wants to prove himself and he’s expecting his loved ones to reject #any sort of redemption. meanwhile they don’t see the need for a redemption in the first place #shaking missa you wet cat of a man you dense self sabatoging silly silly man #stop your hero worship. own up and show up. and let your family love you because my god you are so loved #sorry tags got away from me it’s like 5 am and I’m like ahfhhrhfhshfhhs #mcyt #qsmp #q!missa #missasinfonia #z speaks

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year

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Soooo badly want to combine twin!au with the “chuck has been mindcontrolling luci for years and it’s only just now stopped working so he’s back in s5 character” because can you imagine how distressing that would be for everyone involved?

Like Lucifer’s in full control of himself for the first time in years, after all the shit that went down post-s5, dealing with the repercussions of actions he performed but now honestly can’t tell which ones were things he would have actually done of his own volition and which were God yanking on his strings. And ALSO during that time he had sex in order to have a kid, but instead ended up with twins who no one wants him near! Because everyone hates him! And Heaven’s gone to shit, most of the angels are dead, the only archangel left alive is Michael and he’s still caged and Luci’s got no way of getting him out if he even wants to. (Which. Presumably he does. If only because at least he knows Michael and Michael hasn’t been on the receiving end of the shit he did the past few years and yeah, might still think of him as a monster but at least that was an image Lucifer was almost in control of.)

And then of course when he finally gets to see the twins, he gets to have a horrible moment of going “oh. Oh no. Oh no they’re me and Michael. God’s replaying the story again and with my kids.” Which is! Horrifying! For someone who has only just gotten free of having his entire character rewritten for the sake of being villainized easier by his own father!

#(smashes my two most self-indulgent AUs together) aw yeah now we’re cooking with gas #endgame of this au is probably a) They Need To Kill God. and b) queerplatonic samifer raises angel babies #while struggling with the fact that Sam & Dean have been through the same rewrites over the years but since they came less drastically.#neither of them noticed #it’s just whump all around tbh #marieposting #neither s5 or late seasons lucifer would be good with kids is the thing but it’s like. in vastly different ways #s5 Lucifer is mostly like. why would he have experience doing this. why would he have any knowledge on it #besides what he took from nick’s memories when Nick had a Baby but per spn canon.#Jack & Marie aren’t babies long enough for that to help #and angels just aren’t children like that. they don’t grow the same way humans do.#Lucifer has been an older brother. but that’s about where his expertise ends in terms of ‘beings younger than him looking for guidance’#well. and also demons. but. I don’t. think. that will. help. much.#although. it would be very sweet/strange to me in particular #if Lucifer referenced Lilith around them and the twins were like ‘??? who that’#(because it’s been years since Sam & Dean thought about Lilith. they’ve never mentioned her)#and without thinking Lucifer goes ‘your older sister.’#HELP THINKING ABOUT MARIE HEARING ‘older sister’ AND GOING AH. SOMEONE TO EMULATE. NOOOO DONT DO THAT ALJFKFLSJF #sorry I’m rambling again #allow me my self indulgence.

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sollucets · 5 months

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so the summonable ghouls from the necromancy of thay i gave astarion paralyzed cazador and let starry rogue triple crit him to death

#it was astonishingly low chances…. cazador had to roll a five to get paralysed #& then he rolled a nine and i bardic’d it #so there was a chance it wouldnt work #poetic. actually. god #cinematic rolls is what dnd is ABOUT #also got a nat 20 on the persuasion roll not to ascend which i think is very. 🥹 of me #mostly for the 🥺 of it all on that one though.#because i didnt need it im a bard w persuasion proficiency and advantage #i had a +18 to that roll Without guidance. lmao #bg3posting #anyway. im a lil. wah #rowan chatter

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nerosdayinanime · 1 year

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#loserboy giyuu posting #Crying. fuck #i went to the wikis so i could refresh on their actual canon selves and fucking.#AUGH SHIT it hurts #i forgot how painful canon is #i dont remember if its canon or not but the thought of giyuu getting injured and dragged away only to wake up without his best friend.#bc said best friend tried to save everyone he could but didnt know his limits. SHIT MAN ITS SO FUCKING SAD #FU CK..#giyuu tomioka #tomioka giyuu #sabito #kny sabito #< the rest of u are seeing this shit too Look At That Tragic Storytelling #and what it means about tanjiro's own story since he has guidance by example #god the entire reason kny happened is bc of sabito's death. it made giyu jaded to life as a slayer. then he saw himself in this child #so he spared the demon and told him to know his limits & not to throw his life away like he just did. dont be a repeat. dont let that be #your downfall as well.

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banannabethchase · 11 months

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Writing a college choice chapter and I just got walloped with the memory of my dad making an absurdly detailed spreadsheet with like 4 separate sheets to help me choose which college to go to. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

...but this apple still managed to choose the wrong college.

#I didn't even apply to the state school I ended up transferring to and loving #My guidance counselor made the state school I ended up loving seem like a dumbass school #Bitch I coulda gotten a full scholarship to go there had I applied in the first place!!! Why didn't you encourage me!!#They all knew I was in a 6 month long dissociative state during college shit #WHY DID NOBODY EXPLICITLY TELL ME KSC WAS A GOOD IDEA #Fun fact every time I write a high school AU #It's my attempt to relive my senior year without the trauma and the Extremely Bad Shit and the 6 months of dissociation #So that's why most of my HS AUs are fluffy fun with some angst thrown in #Because my senior year was mostly trauma and angst (it was So Bad) with a little fluffy fun. Prom was great #Anyway this post is to show that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree #Mom wanted me at the elite private school Dad wanted me to Just Choose A School Oh My God Sara #And I wanted to go somewhere with my friends #None of us got what we wanted #I chose UConn while high on NyQuil and I really think someone should have questioned that #Mom? Dad? Anybody?#Come on #Anyway #This turned into an essay #If you reach here send me a song lyric and a pairing and I shall fluff in thanks #Oh Daddums #Also my mom opened like 4 of my college letters without me then burst into my classroom while I was teaching to tell me #Still annoyed about that #'You got waitlisted at your dream school!!' 'COOL THAT'S BAD NEWS IT COULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL I WASN'T TEACHING????'

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icejello · 1 year

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It's just a little mistake

A/N: Here's some Kavehtham angst (if you can consider it as that) that I thought off just before falling asleep. This is also in honor of Kaveh's character story bcs i love that man so much (tw: anxiety attack?)

A delicious aroma wafted through the house and eventually reached Al Haitham's nose as he tried to focus on the task he had to solve as the Acting Grand Sage, which really in his defense he would rather not do it but Lesser Lord Kusanali insisted on making him the Grand Sage and-

He snapped out of his train of thoughts when he felt someone poke his shoulder. He turned his head to see his roommate standing behind him with his arms crossed. They stared at each other in silence before Kaveh rolls his eyes and started to make some hand gestures. Turn off your noise cancelling. Seeing that, Al Haitham realized that he indeed has his noise cancelling on and Kaveh had probably spent the last few minutes calling him.

"What is it, Kaveh? I'm working." He turned it off and the sounds of his surroundings greeted his ears, along with the sound of Kaveh's annoyed foot tapping.

"I've been calling, no yelling your name for the past few minutes just so you know," Kaveh stated with a glare thrown at him.

"Oh really? I did not hear you," Al Haitham shrugged and turned back to the papers on his desk.

"An apology would be nice, Acting Grand Sage," Kaveh emphasized on his title and Al Haitham did not held back the small smile on his face as he replied, "I don't see why I should, Light of Kshahrewar." With his face turned around, Kaveh wouldn't be able to see the small smile on his face anyways and if Al Haitham had to be honest, bantering with Kaveh right now would be a thousand times better than dealing with the papers on his desk.

"You are so annoying," Al Haitham merely hums at his words as he rereads the words written on the paper. "Hey! Don't ignore me!" "Well hurry up and say what your purpose is for coming here then," was all the answer Kaveh received and the blonde contemplated smacking the back of his junior's head.

"I made some pie and was calling you to eat it together," Al Haitham stopped reading when he heard those words, "but you can forget about eating it now with that attitude of yours!" Al Haitham turned around in surprise to look at the blonde, a slight blush seems to decorate his face. "You made pie?" "Did you not hear a single word I said-" "Why?" Kaveh stopped talking when Al Haitham cut him off and stared at him before looking away and answering, "you just seemed stressed these days with your job so I thought I'd make you some pie since you like them and-"

"You made pie for me?" Al Haitham was even more surprised now. "I- yes- You know what forget it, I'm just going to go and eat it alone now," Kaveh turned around to leave and Al Haitham quickly followed after him. "Why are you following me?" "This is my house, I can go anywhere I want," "Is there a reason you're going to the dining room with me right now?" "... There's pie,"

Kaveh stops and turns to look at him. "Are you kidding me, Al Haitham? I just said you can't have it," "You also said you made it for me specifically," "That is not the point!" Al Haitham simply walks past him and pulls out a chair at the dining table. He could hear Kaveh muttering to himself from the door as he walks to the kitchen counter to take the pie, pretty sure he also heard some curse words there but it only made Al Haitham amused.

"Here, take it since you want to eat it so badly." Al Haitham stared at the slice of pie in front of him before staring at Kaveh who was standing beside him. "What? What is it? Why are you staring at me?" "There's only one slice," "Are you seriously asking for more you-" "No, where's yours?" Kaveh shut his mouth at that question.

"Where's yours, Kaveh?" Al Haitham repeated his question again. "I'll eat mine later so stop your complaining and just eat it," "You said you wanted to eat together," "I also said you weren't supposed to get any," Kaveh glared at him so he just sighs and turn his attention back to the slice of pie. He was about to eat it but turned his gaze back to Kaveh again, "aren't you going to sit?" "I- I'm fine with standing." Kaveh crossed his arms and threw yet another glare at Al Haitham. "Can you eat it already?" "Why are you being so nervous about this pie?" "I made it! Of course I want to know what you think of it!" "This is the usual pie you make for me though, isn't it?" "Just shut your mouth and eat it already!" Kaveh had enough and immediately took the spoon and shoved a spoonful into Al Haitham's mouth which did an amazing job at shutting him up.

"So? How is it?" Kaveh didn't understand it himself why he's feeling nervous about what Al Haitham's opinion is. Knowing his roommate, it definitely would only be criticism to mock him and rile him up even more but still he was nervous about it. Al Haitham was silent for a while even after Kaveh could see that he had swallowed it. "What is it? You're being so silent, was it that good that it made you speechless?" Kaveh would prefer to be optimistic because surely it couldn't be that bad that Al Haitham is rendered speechless.

"Kaveh did you..." Al Haitham trailed off as he stares at the pie before looking at the blonde. "Did I what? Al Haitham finish that sentence, did I what?" He became even more nervous as the feelings of anxiety starts to flood in. "... did you change your recipe? Or is it just me that tasted it differently?" Kaveh felt his heart seemed to stop dead at that time. Stopped before racing up and the sound of his thundering heartbeat seemed to fill his ears. He did not change the recipe.

He instantly ate a spoonful of the pie and the world seemed to stop dead as realization washed over him. He had messed up the recipe. Panic rushed over him as he starts running through the process while he was making the pie, was it the sugar? It seemed to taste a bit plain or did he not cook it enough? Where did he messed up? How did he messed up? What did he do wrong? He stood there frozen as his hand gripped the spoon harder.

"Kaveh...?" Kaveh muttered something under his breath which Al Haitham didn't quite catch. "Kaveh? What did you say?" "I... I messed up the recipe," the answer was barely a whisper which Al Haitham almost didn't hear. He studied the blonde's face and recognize the look on his face. Kaveh was having anxiety attack.

"Kaveh, its alright, the pie still tastes fine, I can still eat it." Al Haitham made a move to reach for the plate but Kaveh quickly pulled it away. "Kaveh...?" "No, don't- don't eat it anymore, don't even- don't touch it." His eyes seemed to shake in fear and Al Haitham notes the way his hands are shaking while holding onto the plate and spoon. "Kaveh I'm telling you its alright, the pie can still be eaten-" Kaveh shook his head as he slowly backs away.

"It- it can't Al Haitham, I messed the recipe up, I should- I should throw this away. Yeah, I'll throw it away and maybe..." He stopped talking as he stares at the slice of pie. "No, what am I kidding? I can't make a new one, I'll mess it up again, I'm- I'm sorry Al Haitham, I wanted to make this for you but I can't even do something like this nicely." Kaveh turned around and went to take the rest of the pie.

"Kaveh, listen to me, the pie is alright, you don't need to throw it away." Al Haitham felt a slight panic inside him. He wasn't the best person to go to when it comes to comforting someone. He was awkward with it especially with his difficulty to really express feelings. Right now, he needs to comfort Kaveh and bring him out of his head. Al Haitham watches as Kaveh seemed to ignore him but he knows it wasn't intentional, Kaveh must be having a rush of thoughts in his head, it would be filled with panic that Haitham needs to pull him out of. "Kaveh snap out of it and listen to me. Look at me Kaveh please, listen to me."

Al Haitham grabbed Kaveh's face to force him look at him. His cheeks were damp and Al Haitham could see the tears in his eyes. Kaveh was crying. "Why are you crying?" "I messed up the recipe, you must be annoyed I mean these are your ingredients after all and I just wasted them like that, I'm sorry I'll buy it again to replace it. You probably wouldn't want to accept that I mean-" Kaveh continued rambling as more tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Why are you crying, Light of Kshahrewar?" There was a new softness in Al Haitham's voice as his gaze seemed to soften and look at Kaveh with a rare gentleness and care. "I don't- I don't know, aren't you mad? I just wasted the ingredients you brought and we can't even eat it and.... I don't know, Al Haitham, I don't know." The softness seemed to made him feel worse, his voice cracked as he questions why Al Haitham is looking at him so softly instead of angry, pissed or annoyed.

"No, Kaveh, I'm not angry at you and you did nothing wrong." Al Haitham wiped Kaveh's tears away with his thumb and gave his cheeks a soft caress. "But I messed up the recipe, I ruined the pie I-" "You did nothing wrong, my love." Al Haitham rarely referred to Kaveh as that. Actually, he rarely ever calls him anything other than his name or Light of Kshahrewar. He was not the type to use nicknames but there were rare moments where he would. Kaveh's lips trembled as Al Haitham continues to show that rare softness and tenderness of his.

"Are you... Are you really not angry? At all?" Instead of answering, Al Haitham kissed his cheeks where he had just wiped his tears off. The left side and then the right side. Surprisingly, he pressed another kiss at his forehead, this time longer than the other two were before pulling back to look into Kaveh's eyes. "I'm not angry, now stop crying, you're ruining your make-up."

It was not a surprise to Kaveh that Al Haitham does not try to comfort him more. He understood well enough that he struggles to even express his true feelings but seeing him try nonetheless was more than enough. "Shut up, I know my face looks alright or you would have a smudge on your lips." "What do you know? I already wiped your tears before kissing you," realization crashed over Kaveh as he grabbed Al Haitham's hands. "Is my make-up really ruined? Oh my archons, I must look hideous right now."

A chuckle slipped past Al Haitham's lips as he smiles at Kaveh. "I'm joking, you look fine." Kaveh squints his eyes at him, "no I don't believe you." He tried to pull away but Al Haitham wrapped his arms around Kaveh's waist instead, trapping him in an embrace. Kaveh froze before slowly wrapping his arms around Al Haitham's neck and nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck, catching a whiff of Al Haitham scent.

"Thank you, love," it was a whisper quiet enough to make sure only Kaveh would hear it even though it was only them in the house. It was as if those words were for him and him alone, not for the world or the archons to hear. He simply hugged Al Haitham tighter as an answer. "Care to join me and eat some pie?" Al Haitham offered him a smile as he pulled away. "Alright but I'm going to check my check my face first, no doubt I look like a mess." With one last kiss, Al Haitham let Kaveh go as he walks away towards the bathroom. Al Haitham busied himself by cutting a slice for Kaveh and that's when a yell that he was sure the whole of Sumeru could hear. "Al Haitham, you liar! I hate you!" The Acting Grand Sage just smirks as he eats a spoonful of pie.

#kavehtham #fanfic #if anyone is curious what prompted this #it's myself #i was cooking some curry but fucked up #nothing big like accidentally setting the kitchen on fire or anything #but i did messed up the recipe #which on my defense it was the first time i cooked it myself without supervision or guidance #and i only ever cooked it once before #but the mistake I did was perfectly fixable and could still be fixed #and note that i was home alone at that time #and i just had a mental breakdown and anxiety attack in the kitchen #i fixed it and it was better but i was still not able to accept it that i threw all of it out #and ended up not eating anything for lunch today #took me a while to calm down #and the only reason i threw it out was bcs i just felt like it would make my parents absolutely idk disappointed?#ik they wouldn't be mad and would instead tell me what to improve but dear god i could not accept my own flaws and fear it #well that's that #ocelwrites #mine

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