#you can see how much better i’ve gotten comparatively

[thehoax]

I will name this tragedy after you by Amber © 2022

[justporo]

Hello! Love your writing SO much. I’ve always wondered though, what would Astarion do if he was in love with Tav but she was insecure about how pretty he was and how she wasn’t good looking enough for him??

So first of all, Anon, let me apologise for letting this sit in my inbox so long - and thank you so much! I guess at some point I've gotten a little overwhelmed with all ideas and requests. I'll still try and answer as many as possible!

So, back on topic:

Headcanons for Astarion battling his partner's insecurity

When you open up about how you feel insecure - especially compared to him - you get a staredown first of all; it does nothing to help with your anxiety and insecurity

"Darling, we don't talk bad about ourselves in this relationship, only about others!"

Expect a lot of aggressive and kind of hysteric support (because this man can talk himself into a fit)

"You'd seriously think I'd settle with anything below heartbreakingly beautiful? Really? You think too much of me!"

He's serious (but also you know it's more than about surface stuff)

He tries everything: aggressive flattery, poetically pointing out all the most beautiful things about you, just staring into your eyes while holding your face (until you might start to cry because damn, this is about you but he's so beautiful)

In all seriousness, when he realises none of it is helping, he will make you stand up, in the middle of the room

His hands wander over your spine, make you straighten your back, lift your chin up, maybe put a strand of hair back behind your ear

One of his hands softly grabs your chin, his brows furrow: "You've done this for me once, now let me be your mirror, my love. When I look at you - I see these eyes, first of all. They're capable of so much: the greatest warmth I've ever felt, fierceness that would make even the strongest foe quiver, deep admiration for all the beauty in the world that you always tend to find. And this smile that never fails to almost make me stumble. Gods be damned, if my heart wasn't cold and dead in my chest it would skip a beat every time you smiled at me. And this body - do you even understand what it has accomplished? Carried you through every step, every battle, every blow and blast - to me if I may be so selfish. So I can admire and worship it everyday." "I thought this wasn't supposed to be poetry?"

And Astarion hushes you and pulls you to him, kisses you until you forget whatever it was you had been feeling in the first place

To be sure, very very sure, Astarion repeats this time and again - especially the worshipping part - that's his favourite

(He casually ruins it by making jokes about how you're "the second most beautiful person in the room", but you forgive him quickly)

Astarion is just very good at getting his point across, don't you think? So you should better believe him!

Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess

[tachvintlogic]

Hoof Trimmers IN SPACCCCCCEEEE!!!!

Based on the post about aliens probably having more than our mere 2 sets of limbs and the post about how our domesticated animals could be unusually large and dangerous compared to other planets.

longer AO3 version: link here (for people with AO3 accounts only)

Words: 1972

Summary: The newest human crewmate's background in farming ends up being able to help a coworker with a sore, injured foot more than anyone could've predicted.

Jósűrha took a step and bit back a hiss as zir middle left leg touched the ground. Ze flinched and lifted the leg back up while zir sore front and back legs took on the extra weight. The block on the middle leg had worn away, and zir leg hasn’t gotten any better since. Now ze needed someone to help zem put a new block on. Katársmun, who put it on last time, was busy at the moment, but ze knew exactly who ze could ask.

Humans were strange with their measly two legs, so unlike most species they were perfectly capable of doing their own first-aid without help, but they were more than happy to assist their fellow sapients who couldn’t reach their back half by themselves. The ship’s newest human crewmate would have a much easier time applying the block than zir other coworkers.

“Hey Officer Mackenzie! I need your help with something.”

The ship’s new resident human turned around as ze walked toward kem, and then frowned and bent to the side looking at zir feet. “Is there something wrong with your feet?”

“Yes, actually. The block on one of my claws has worn away, and obviously I can’t put another one on myself.”

Ke bent down further to get a better look at zir painful hoof. “Yeah, I can tell block on it is barely there. It explains why you’re walking like a lame cow. Have you gotten your feet trimmed recently?”

“Well, no. There aren’t many good places that can trim Zágjós feet. Wait, how did you know I needed a trim?”

“Your feet pretty closely resemble ungulates on Earth. You see my fingernails? On ungulates, their nails are giant pads made of keratin that they walk on like your hooves. Most of the other sapients I’ve seen don’t walk on the very tip of their limbs like ungulates or yourself.” That was true. Zágjós were one of the few species that needed to get their entire feet trimmed, which is why places to do that became scarcer and scarcer the further from Zágjós space you were.

“You seem to know a lot about feet.”

“Well, I used to work on a cow and sheep farm on Earth. A lot of our domesticated livestock are actually ungulates.” Having livestock species was quite common among spacefaring species. It was considered an important part of the path to FTL technology. While humans didn’t have the largest livestock species, they did have the largest livestock relative to their size.

“So do you think you can help me put a new cushion on?”

“Sure.”

They walked to zir quarters, where ze had a suspension bed (as zir species slept standing up), personal effects, and a basic first-aid kit specialized for zir species. Mackenzie opened the med kit and pulled out a block without ze having to tell kem what one looks like and a hoof trimming knife that came standard with the kit (not that ze knew how to use it).

“So does the block go on with glue or--?”

You remove the cap on the sticky side and then hold it on the claw for 30 seconds to set.”

“Alright, can you get in the suspension bed? It would be easier if you were standing without putting weight on your feet.”

“Sure.” Ze got in zir suspension bed and immediately felt relief with zir feet not entirely on the ground anymore. Mackenzie took some time to improvise a stand to hold up zir hoof and keep it still. It was a similar setup to the one at a trimmer (not that ze had been to one in a while).

“Wow, your hooves look…exactly like a cow’s hoof.”

“Should I be offended? Isn’t that livestock?”

“Oh, no. It’s just that I spent a lot of time trimming cow hooves back on the farm to keep them healthy. Hell, your hoof trimming knife looks about the same. It’s sharp on the sides with the hook on the end. I’m assuming I can remove the block with the knife, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Mackenzie started trimming away at the block, muttering this would be much easier if ke had a grinder. When the old block was gone, Mackenzie hummed and ze turned zir neck to see what ke was doing. Ke was pursing kes lips in a way that zir emotional recognition course in diversity training told zim meant the human did not like what ke was looking at.

“Something wrong?”

“What does the pain feel like?”

“Kinda like a pressure in my hoof.”

“Sounds like an abscess with some detached horn above it. One your bad claw, there’s some definitely detached horn at the heel of your outer claw and a white line defect near the toe, or at least it would be if the resemblance to a cow hoof isn’t just superficial. The wall horn is also thicker than it should be on a cow, which could be overgrowth or just what hooves of your species are supposed to look like. There’s also some slight bruising on the inner portion of the claw you had a block on, and it has small crack between the wall horn and the sole horn which could turn into a serious white line defect if it isn’t taken care of.”

Ke put the foot back down. “Hold on, I need to do some research on Zágjós feet.”

Mackenzie left and ze tried really hard to relax and ignore the pain in zir foot until Mackenzie came back with the captain. Mackenzie looked excited.

“So good news! Your feet are extremely similar to cow’s feet. The only main difference is that your foot is supposed to be held 5° steeper.”

“So?”

“So I can help your foot!” Mackenzie pulled zir middle left foot back on the stand and started slicing away at the bad claw with the trimming knife. It hurt, feeling the trimming knife put more pressure on the claw that felt like it was about to burst.

“Mackenzie requested that you have some time off because you’re having trouble walking,” said the captain.

“Yeah, there aren’t a lot of places to get my hooves trimmed at our ship’s recent stops.”

“Well, tell me next time our ship routes force you to go without care or routine maintenance. And that goes for all crew so this kind of thing never happens again.”

“Thanks captain, I—” Ze gasped as the pain in zir feet suddenly lifted. The pressure inside the hoof was gone! Ze turned zir neck around and saw Mackenzie wiping pus off kes face.

“What happened?” asked the captain.

“Well, I found the abscess. There was a lot of pus in there. Do you feel better?”

“Yes! That is so much better!”

“Let me see,” said the captain, walking behind Mackenzie. “Stars, that was under your foot!?”

“Yeah,” said Mackenzie, “it’s worse than it looks, too. You see this dark hoof horn above where I opened the abscess just on the border? It got darker as I thinned it out, so it’s not pigment. It means there’s a cavity under there, and all this horn is detached and needs to be removed,” ke explained as ke lifted the detached horn around the abscess and cut it off in circular cuts with the hook of the knife, revealing more pus and opening the hole.

After just a few cuts, ke revealed the abscess stretched the entire width of the sole horn, and then ke started shaving down the horn between the abscess and the heel to remove the bulk of it.

“Now that I’ve revealed the abscess,” ke continued to explain, “I know how much I can shave off. Fortunately, it seems to be only filled with pus. I haven’t found any lesions or ulcers. It’s just a giant cavity.”

“What could’ve caused it?”

“Probably an accident,” ke said, “could’ve bumped the hoof against something or turned too sharply on a corner. With regular trimming, it could’ve been nipped in the bud before it was a problem, but without it, it just got worse and worse.”

“And at the heel, there’s this detached horn I can just lift up, which tells me,” ke said as ke put the knife under the horn and cut down, “that it goes all the way to the abscess.”

“That’s the entire foot,” said the captain.

“Yep,” said Mackenzie, “can’t imagine trying to walk on that.”

“I don’t need to imagine,” said Jósűrha.

Mackenzie started trimming the good hoof, getting rid of the crack and modeling out the area with the bruised horn to take some of the weight off that area, and then searching through the med kit to find something to help grind the tips of the toes to bring both claws to the same length. The “grinder” at the bottom of the med kit wasn’t as good as the grinder ke used to use on cows on the farm, which ke was more than happy to complain about.

Once it was suitably prepared, ke put on a different, curved block that would avoid the bruised horn area on the good claw. Ke pressed it into the claw for 30 seconds to make sure the glue bond was secure.

“So given your foot’s condition. I’m going to have to cut most of your ship duties. Rest up and heal. Understood?”

“Yes captain.”

“And Mackenzie, you’re doing a great job, even though it’s not the job you were hired for.”

“Thanks, captain,” ke said, nodding.

“You know, speaking of routine care important for the health and comfort of our officers, Katársmun has a condition that prevents xe from shedding xis coat when xe should. You wouldn’t know how to do a full body shave, would you?

“Hmm, if it’s like shearing a sheep, then I could take to xem about it. I’d want to take a course on it and get more familiar Katársmun’s species first if xe doesn’t need shearing now.”

“Of course, it’s just something I wanted to mention. Well, as you were. I’ll call the cleaning bot to take care of the mess,” said the captain gesturing to the pus and cut horn on the floor.

As the captain left, ke stopped pressing into the block and tested its fit to make sure it was secure, then ke dressed the bad claw with supplies from the med kit. “Okay, I’m going to put your foot down. Try to stand on it in a way that feels natural.” Ke put zir foot down and checked the angle. It was steep enough for a cow but not enough for a Zágjós. Ke pulled the foot back on the stand and started cutting the block to adjust the angle.

When ke put the hoof down again, the angle was perfect, and Jósűrha didn’t feel any pain. It was almost unreal after feeling that pressure in zir hoof for so long. “Now for the other claws since you did say you haven’t gotten a trim in a while. I’m start with the back left.”

Jósűrha didn’t have a way to argue with that. “That’s fine,” ze said as Mackenzie moved to the back left foot and started trimming. “There’s a little bruising on the inner sole area that I can model out, and some overgrowth on the toes. Remember to tell me if there’s any soreness or pain.”

“Sure. That foot feels fine.”

“Good. It’s nice working on someone who can talk to me for a change.”

“People are better clients than cows are, aren’t they?”

“Well, yeah, and people are also polite enough to not start pooping while I’m doing their back legs.”

Ze suppressed a chitter and tried to keep zir foot very still as ke worked. Yes, asking the human crewmember was the best choice.

[divineidolatry]

CONSTANTLY IN THE DARKNESS — CHAPTER 1

— written by june.

pairing: coriolanus snow x reader*

rating: explicit (18+) — mind the tags, see masterlist for disclaimers

summary: against your wishes, you call the curtain on your relationship with coriolanus snow and walk out of his life for good. against your wishes, he waltzes back in like nothing's changed.

tags: exes to lovers, it's complicated, slow burn but they're constantly fucking, manipulation, toxic relationship, power play, unprotected sex, bdsm, dom!coriolanus, sub!reader, edging, overstimulation, orgasm denial, spit kink, bondage, pearl play, choking, shoe riding, degradation, dirty talk, brat taming, penetrative sex (piv), aftercare

taglist: comment on the masterlist to be added to the taglist.

wordcount: 4,352

just before our love got lost you said "i am as constant as a northern star" and i said "constantly in the darkness, where's that at? if you want me i'll be in the bar."

“Coriolanus…” You drop the silver cutlery on the fine porcelain, the sound sharp enough that he winces. Good. This should hurt him as much as it hurts you. “What are we even doing anymore?”

His face holds that cold expression you can’t read, beautiful and impossible, a question you saw the first day you met him and you knew you wanted to crack him open.

You always knew he had ambition, and you possessed plenty to match. Power called to you from an early age, you’d just gotten smarter about you grabbed it. Still, he made you better. He made you sharper. And in turn, you could make him look soft enough to please.

But the parts of you that slotted together like perfect gears before had grown jagged and mismatched now. His ambitions mean more than you. They come before you. A part of you thinks it would be okay if he still made room for you at the end of the night, but it’s all perfunctory and dutiful.

“We need to talk. Actually talk.”

It’s not for a lack of trying to understand him, but there’s walls in Coryo that shift position, closing him off when you’re not careful enough. Talking with him turns into talking to him. He never did share much, even when you made it clear that you supported his ambitions, never troubling him with your own. You’re big girl, after all, independent and capable, you can hold your own value and underscore his. You know how to charm the worst of them and flatter the best of them, you are an asset beyond compare and yet he’s losing interest. Galling.

“I’ve been loyal, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I’ve kept clean in public so you can defile me in private. I play your game so well, and yet…” You flick your finger against the crystal wine glass, lipstick stains rimming the edge. You dressed to the nines tonight, giving him a last chance to look at you, at everything you offered him as a partner in every sense of the word. “You make me feel like I’m doing something wrong.”

His silence hangs heavy and painful in the air between you two. There’s something so pristine and perfect about the room that itches in your gut, that sometimes makes you want to take the knife and stab him through the back of his hand just to see if he’d even flinch.

“Am I not good enough for you anymore?”

Oh, how icy his gaze is. It cuts right through you, past all your defenses.

These dinners, once bubbling with conversation and excited plans about the next chance you’d have to shift the board, have turned to quiet and perfunctory affairs now. He meets your eyes less and less on the university campus. You spend hours waiting for him in the quiet hallways on the top floor no one goes to, doing your seminar readings in the same hidden alcove where he once liked to make you moan so high a rumor had spread of a ghost haunting.

It doesn’t matter to you that he is busy, it mattered that he stopped including you, that he didn’t even try. And you can’t get through to him. It’s getting sad — worse, stale. On top of that, people are talking. Gossip loud enough that you could hear it from the back rows in lecture halls, of discord between Panem’s golden future and his leading lady. Bad metrics for both of you… and it fucking stings too.

His heart isn’t in your mouth anymore, and you are beginning to starve. And he’d let you.

You fold up the napkin, dropping it on top of the half-finished meal, knowing the waste will irk him. Whatever hook you still have in him you will pull on. You must. You refuse to go down without damages.

“This is what you want, isn’t it? It’s easier this way, me deciding to leave you, that way you won’t have to clean up the mess. That’s why you’ve been so cold, right?”

He doesn’t speak. Pushing the chair out, you get up and walk the length of the table, your heels clicking loud against the marble. You move close to him, press your body against his and feel the heat of his breath on your skin… but his expression does not shift, and you shake your head with a pained noise catching in your throat.

“I don’t think you are this cold,” you whisper, slipping your hand in under his shirt, pressing your fingers against his chest. His heart beats hard and strong. “I hope you realize when I’m gone…” You trail off, struggling with the words.

Silence. Again. He’s leaning back in the chair, watching you try to reconcile this… and he is letting you flounder. Has he allowed you to ask for his time with the intention to give you nothing? The cruelty in that hurts even worse.

“Goodbye, Coriolanus.” You press a soft kiss to his cheek, scraping your nails over his skin, hoping it stings as much as his icy silence does. You gather your bag and coat, and leave his penthouse quietly.

In the elevator, you wipe at an errant tear. The air around you feels crushing but you cannot give in under pressure. You won’t.

For a few days, you don’t cry. You had foreseen this outcome to the conversation after all, made your preparations to leave as little behind as possible, and fortified yourself to understand that no matter how perfect a match you seemingly were for each other, you still actively had to choose one another. Whatever had consumed him also kept him from letting you in as he used to, and it meant he was no longer choosing you.

The barb still lodged itself deep in your chest, leaking poison all the same.

You go through the motions, brushing your hair, washing your face, studying. It’s in one of the lectures, the professor slipping through the lackluster material, that it hits like a fist between the ribs, and you clutch at your side remembering how Coryo would have made this make sense to you. It hits all at once how he’s not there, won’t be, he’s not going to make even the dullest media history class shine bright anymore.

When the tears come, it is Clemensia who wipes them away, lets your head rest in her lap, and offers to fetch the rest of your things. She was his friend first; you’d been a year under them in the Academy. When she comes back she doesn’t say if he reacted, though you doubt he was even at home. She strokes your hair, assuring you she won’t pick a side. Through all her care of you in the weeks to come, she proves her words, not letting you flinch away in public.

“Just because he plays a good game,” she reminds you, “doesn’t mean you can’t make a better move.”

You slowly get back on your feet, keeping her words in mind. She helps with applying your makeup on days when your hands are too shaky, keeping your perfectly crafted mask in place. She glues herself to your side as you attend classes, keeping it cordial with Coriolanus while your gaze slips past him. You forgot how good it felt to be someone’s priority.

“Why are you being so nice about this?” you ask one night, exasperated as she’s getting you ready for a party, squirming in your seat. You don’t feel ready for re-emerging into society, but what choice do you have? Crawl into a hole and vanish? You’d never give him the pleasure.

She rolls her eyes and gets up off the floor to fetch a dusty bottle of posca from the shelves.

“It’s not that different,” she says, handing a glass over to you. “I was in his corner too, and it bit me. Hard.” She grimaces, scratching at her wrist before rolling down the sleeve over her hands.

“Did you two…” You have wondered, after all, jealousy flickering at times like a dangerous question mark.

“Not like that! I just needed him to show up for me, to do this one thing, and he was busy chasing his own greatness.”

It's a relief to hear, mostly because you have an easier time believing her than him. “But you got over it.”

“I can’t fault him. If you’re here, it means something, and it’s not always flattering.” She wrinkles her nose at the posca even as she drinks it down. “When you want something so bad because you need to make sense of the world, to bring some sense of order to the chaos of life… I know you get it. He’s always been this way, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” Her words are just a whisper as she pins curls in place on your head, her hand lingering to trace your chin as she examines your face.

Clemensia had taken a liking to doing these little things for you, drawing from a deep well of knowledge she’d amassed. It had become an outlet for her, creativity to couple with her own ambition. She liked to practice different looks on you before paring them down to a more fitting style suitable to current trends, but each flourish of her brush warmed your skin.

You knew that duality well — of wanting to create and struggling to find the time and place. Ever since you were small, your parents had clung to the idea that singing lessons and dance classes were of utmost importance, even keeping them going during the war. They wanted you to excel, rise in standing, and it had honed you.  

Unbidden, one of his old comments floats up in your mind, making your breath stutter. ‘You have the prettiest voice of all the girls in Panem, do you know that?’ And while you scoffed then, your ego bloomed under his praise. ‘Tell me more about how much you love my voice, Coryo…’

“Hey… come back to me, you better not ruin the hard work I’ve just done, I don’t do hard work for just anyone, you know?” Clemmie teases, but you can see a stern look in her eyes. You don’t have a lot of time, and she isn’t keen to waste it. “We have somewhere to be soon, okay?”

You nod. She’s right. The Capitol’s numerous galas and grand events throughout the year had kept going despite your broken heart, and tonight is the Rose Ball, an extravagant gala held in the grand conservatory with an orchestra playing and the guest list consisting of only the names of the highest esteem in the Capitol. And your name was still on it. Tonight, you intend to make sure it isn’t the last invite sent your way, no matter what.

Clemensia finishes with a lipstick red as wine, smiling as she puts her hands on your shoulders and turns you to the mirror.

“Look at you,” she says, tilting your chin up so the light catches the pearlescent shimmer dusted on your skin. “Everyone will be falling for you. And he will have no choice but to watch what he lost.”

You shiver in excitement.

You share the ride with some people Clemensia knows, and while they gossip away, you sit alone with your thoughts, the mask wavering for a moment. This is the first formal gathering you’re attending since the split… Several months of picking up the pieces to pretend like everything’s fine, to recoup as much of your image as possible, while still doing him the courtesy to not hurt his. You have been so good, and still people look at you as if you made a mistake and not him.

Tonight would be harder to find a bathroom to tuck away into, an empty study room to make your safe haven. No cover to hide behind, so you needed to don the appropriate armor, to appear unaffected. To tell a tale to outdo his. After all, Clemensia’s right, everyone can be made to want you. You will move on, and you will make him regret it while you do. You will remind him that your heart isn’t a delicate plaything, but a fire furious enough to match his.

You play with the pearls around your neck, the matching gold and pearl earrings bouncing against your cheek as the car passes over cobblestoned streets. They are the very same Coriolanus gifted you on your first anniversary, and weighted with memories. You thought about throwing them away immediately after the break-up, but that would have said something about him winning, and you can’t stand that.

Clemensia, hawk-eyed as ever, notices your nervous fiddling and nudges your foot with hers right as the car pulls up to the entrance. “Shall we then?” Clemensia offers you her arm and you take it gratefully. You revel in the sync of your heels clicking as you ascend the hard steps to your most important battlefield yet.

Past the heavy gilded doors, the gala’s milling crowd slows down as you enter, eyes drawn to you. You hold your head high, gripping Clemensia’s arm tight. No one here will get the pleasure of seeing you flinch. They announce your names, and you smile, brilliant and beautiful. The corset underneath your rose-red dress keeps your back straight, reminiscent of old elegances that has the old garde softening for you.

You think you spot him on the far end of the room, but the shadows are long and the lights dimmed. His gaze feels a certain way though, and there’s a wicked warmth in your chest that only he has ever made you feel.

“I’m going to do reconnaissance,” Clemensia says as she gives your hand a squeeze. “Let me get the lay of the land.”

“Go, go.” You wave her off, confidently stepping into a circle that parts to let you in amongst them, laughing at the right time. If there is one dance you know better than any other, it is this: the social graces and manners expected of you in these cutthroat places, where the marble runs red with lies and blood. Your heels know where to step even when sleepwalking.

While your mask does not waver, you sure feel bare under all the scrutiny, hungry gazes roving over every bared slip of skin on your arms. After what feels like hours of compliments, cruelties and layered comments, you find a brief escape in an alcove on the second floor, rubbing at your sore ankles as you catch your breath, head spinning. Roses weigh in on all sides of you, enchanting and heady. If you had to say something nice, it’s that Coriolanus knows how to work with the best event planners the Capitol has to offer.

You rip off a handful of petals, crushing them until the fragrant oils spill forth, and press them down the front of your dress before you get up to continue mingling.

The night is long: a dance with the Featherpillow boy a year your junior who easily dances circles around most of the men here; a glass of champagne with the Fairweather twins as you chat about the latest fashion trends and they enviously compliment your pearls; Clemensia whisking you away to a polite and stiff conversation with the Ravenstills. The night goes on for some time in this manner, gliding between dances, advances, and gossip. No one can seem to keep you in one place.

And everywhere you go, you feel the constant, unrelenting pierce of eyes on you. Not just the masses… his.

You are showing him up. Everyone knows it. Coming to his event with seemingly no hard feelings, dressed like a classical painting, fielding every conversation with natural ease and charisma. Everyone wants to see you, talk to you, be seen with you. It’s a move that will have lesser men folding their hands.

Coryo isn’t.

There’s no shortage of attention in his corner, the constant requests for a word from important political seats and fellow society greats, and invitations to dance which he only takes when you do. The undertow between you is palpable. He is an inevitability, you can feel it when you draw close during dances, gazes brushing past each other.

He is throwing you off, little by little, his smile blistering bright and dangerous across the room, and he catches you looking. Just once. And once is all he needs.

You swipe a glass of posca from a passing waiter, knocking it back in one go. This wasn’t part of your plan.

It definitely isn’t a part of the plan that Coriolanus appears in front of you, taking the empty glass away from you with a cool smile.

“May I have the next dance?” he asks, voice perfectly warm and polite. Every single eye watches the two of you with rapt attention as he offers his hand out to you.

He knows you can’t turn him down now, and he is relishing in it. His eyes are lit up, a fire in them you have not seen in months. You put your hand in his, beaming up at him.

“It would be my pleasure,” you say, dragging out the last word until it drips like daggers from your lips.

The two of you assume the starting position, you with one hand in his, the other on his shoulder, and you can’t help but notice that it is all too comfortable a role to slip back into: the perfect pair, polished and primed for the show. A lone pianist begins to play, and you recognize the tune as one of your very favorites… one you played for Coriolanus more than once on the grand piano in his penthouse.

Maintaining a polite expression, you shoot him a look. “Did you request this piece?”

“It’s your favorite, is it not?” He keeps it civil. More than civil, he keeps it warm, saccharine sweet even as he continues to lead you without a single misstep while giving the audience a perfect dance.

“I thought you’d forget about me,” you say, testing the waters. “Like you do to everyone who no longer interests you.”

“You think I’d be that cruel?”

“I know you would be.”

A hum rumbles in his chest and you feel it against your body, heating your cheeks. The dance goes on, gliding and spinning, the room growing dizzying either from the drinks or the way he won’t drop eye contact with you.

This much attention from him was not the plan, definitely not the goal, and as the tempo slows for the twinkling end of the piece, you think you might fall over if not for the sheer adrenaline coursing through you… and the firmness of his grip, fingers digging into the back of your corset.

As the music falls quiet, there’s a brief moment where you could hear a pin drop, the tension in the air releasing as the audience applauds. You blush, bowing to him, simmering with the dual-edged feeling of having been made a spectacle of — and a part of you enjoyed it because it was him doing it.

He offers his arm to you and you hesitate, wanting to search out Clemensia in the crowd, but with the expectant eyes still on you, it’s hardly the time to turn him down.

Shit.

You take his arm with trepidation, chewing the inside of your cheek as he leads you to the upper level of the conservatory. As you pass by Clemensia you shoot her a pleading glance, but she cannot save you, and you both know it.

He knows the place like the back of his hand and leads you to a tucked-away alcove crowned with rose arches. The plush settee is comfortable but small, and you wind up pressed against his side when you sit down. Worse still, it’s like he delights in tormenting you as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you in.

“Did you enjoy doing that?” With a gentle huff, you finally speak your mind, voice hushed. He’s close enough that you feel the warmth of his breath, of his entire body, and yours never forgot how good he could make you feel, aching for him like a traitor. “Did you want to make a fool of me?”

He does nothing to assuage the pained curiosity of your words, tutting as he reaches up to finger one of your earrings. “No need. You and I can both agree you made plenty spectacle of yourself all on your own tonight, darling.”

You hold back from chewing him out, refusing to align his glance to his. It always frustrated him back then and it still does, as he moves his hand to your chin and tilts your face towards his.

“Hard time letting go?”

He knows just how to stoke the fire in you. “Of you? Never.”

“As you say.” He rubs the fabric of your skirt between his fingers. “You seemed all too comfortable letting everyone reach out to pull you around tonight, truly playing the belle of the ball, hm?”

“That’s how the Capitol landscape is and you know it. I was not trying to upstage you.”

He tuts at that. “You think that is why I’m upset?”

You furrow your brow. “What else would it be?”

“Because for all your flitting about tonight…” He lowers his voice, and you lean in instinctively. “You wouldn’t have deigned to give me the time had I not put you on the spot.”

Your breath catches in your throat, your mental game board in disarray. “You’re jealous?”

You’ve learned to not cry over him anymore. Even when it hurts, when the three years down the drain remind themself like a splinter under your nail, you’ve learned better control than that. But this time, you feel the hot prick of tears in your eyes. When one slides down your cheek, he wipes it with his thumb.

Damn it, damn him, damn it all. You swallow.

“After everything, you are jealous? I didn’t even come here with someone else.”

“You came here with Clemensia.”

“Yes, a friend.”

“She was my friend first.”

“Oh, don’t be a child.”

You roll your eyes, slapping his chest. He holds your hand there, and when the first feeling that runs through your heart is a sliver of hope, you know you’re done for.

“I’ve missed you.”

Check mate.

He wins again.

You try to pull away, but he resists, pressing you closer into him. For all that hurt, all the frustration, when you look into his eyes, when your gaze flits down to his lips, you still want to crush his lips with yours, to slot right into his life like you never left, and that thought gnaws at you. You hate yourself for it. And your mask is not that strong…

“You really could have thought about that earlier, Coriolanus. You had every opportunity.”

He seems content with not elaborating on why he froze you out, left you in the dark, and it frustrates you. His only response, in fact, is to act on the heat of the moment, pulling you into a kiss.

It’s greedy and hungry and he bites at your lower lip, causing you to whine. His lips are soft and taste of sugary pastries and finely aged wines and oh, it would be so easy to fall head first into how good it feels, how much you missed this, to climb on his lap right here…

You lick into his mouth, wanting all you can take before you part from him, unable to forget where you are, that there is no privacy in this place, and that you can’t risk everything for him — however badly you want to. When you pull away, you see the mess you’ve made of him, lipstick on the corners of his mouth, and it thrills to know he’s made one of you too.

“Not here,” you say. But it isn’t a no. It’s hardly a stop. It’s a challenge and you desperately want him to rise to it.

He waves over one of his attendants to assist in making you both presentable, leaving you in the seat once he is taken care of. You hold back a protest, ready to settle back into the shadows of his ambition, but then overhear him whispering about “ready the car” and “make sure they have a good time” before he turns back to you. There’s the fire that could burn the whole of the Capitol down if he wanted it. There’s the hunger that could have you willing to offer him of yourself just to sate him. It leaves you speechless. It leaves you burning.

He whisks you away out the back entrance to the waiting car and once seated in the back, partitions pulled up, you spare no time climbing on top of him, arms wrapping around his neck.

He fingers your earrings again, hand trailing down to your necklace. “Our first anniversary, hmm? Do you remember why I had the rose engraved in the gold?”

You aren’t interested in reminiscing anymore, you want the present moment, you want to burn your mouth on his. You kiss him again, rocking against him as you do, relishing in the way he tightly grabs your hips, helps you keep grinding down as he lifts up the skirt higher, skimming the top of your thigh-high stockings.

“Missed you too.” Your breath is hot and ragged against his skin.

You look over his face, bodies still slowly rocking together, and when your semi-glazed eyes meet his, you see nothing but fire, dangerous and warming, everything you have ever wanted from him. In a craze, you find yourself begging.

“Please… make me yours again.” It’s a romantic notion, and it will haunt you come morning, but now you are nothing but a bundle of nerves and want, all ripe for his picking.

“Patience,” he breathes against your neck, his lips on the pearls. “We’re almost there.”

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Orbiting: pt.2°

[icehockey!jungkook x figureskater!reader; enter figureskater!jimin] [2.3k+ idiot fwb to lovers; mutual pining, both has the libido of a teenage boy; this one's for the plot! but also i know very little about the technicalities of figure skating so please be kind; tysm for the love on Orbiting]

-

Nothing beats the feeling of being on the ice, you think.

Well, second to Jungkook’s bed, the rink is where you feel most euphoric. As you glide in circles and spin in the air, the wind in your hair makes you feel weightless, almost trouble-free.

“I think I’m ready,” you skate closer to the stands where your coach sits. Eagle eyes follow your form, yet her face remains stoic, “Let me try a triple axel.” With that, her brows crease. “Absolutely not,” she answers with finality.

Stubbornly, you prod, “Coach, plea—”

“We’re not risking another injury when you’ve barely healed.” At this, you scoff, “But I’m fine now. I’ve been landing double axels for months, haven’t I?”

“Yes, but still poorly,” your coach reasons as she looks at you. And you hate it. You hate how she looks at you with pity, making you feel incapable.

Brushing off your insecurity, you muster up the sliver of confidence and hope you have left. “You’re lying,” you start. “I’ve seen my form and rewatched my routines after every practice. I’ve gotten better.” You're trying not to let your emotion swallow you whole, you push your point, “You also said so yourself: I’ve been better compared to three months ago.”

You don’t realize how shaky and loud your voice had gotten with every word. Even you, yourself, sounded unsure of your recovery by the time you finished.

“Y/N—”

You know that tone. Your throat and heart constrict, “No. You promised—” but your plea is interrupted by the echo of the door banging, followed by footsteps until someone comes into view.

“Ah, Jimin. Finally!” Your coach ushers him to come closer to where you’re at a standstill with her. You’re a ticking time bomb, that at least you know. The last thing you should be around is people, so you skate away.

- “Your reputation precedes you, L/N.”

Stopping mid-stretch, you turn your head to where you hear the voice. It’s Jimin. He smirked as he approached you, skates hung on his shoulder.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He sits beside you on the bleachers, plush lips tightening to form another smirk. In a different mood, you may have gushed at how full his lips are, but right now, you’re irked at how his hands take their time in lacing his skates.

“Don’t worry.” He’s facing you now and his hands flick softly to brush his parted bangs away from his face. “All I’ve heard about are good things. At least, to me.”

Your eyebrows crease. He winks, then skates away from the bleachers. You parrot your previous question, now skating after him.

“My friends said you were a stubborn one,” his voice loud enough for you to hear. Jimin slows down and lets you catch up to him. Now skating beside him, matching his stride, you ask, “And that’s a good thing because?”

“I like headstrong girls. It just means you’re determined, too. But I want to see for myself how determined you can be, Y/N.”

Jimin swerves, now skating backward, facing you. You almost crash into him, but he holds your arm, guiding you back into pace.

“Careful. If we’re going to be partners, I need to know you can keep up with me,” he teases, and it works because you’re riled up.

Of course, Jimin heard a lot about you. A couple of his friends auditioned to be your pair, but they all came home after a few weeks with rants about the ‘ice princess.’ No one would deny how pretty and talented you were, but those admirable qualities were overshadowed by how much of a ‘bitch you can be on the ice’ as his friends would describe it. He has also heard people go as far as saying how much your accident was a well-deserved one because you needed to be knocked down a peg.

He drew the line there.

Your frustration turned irritation now directed towards his smug ass. “You’re the one who’s trying out,” you bark as you pull your arms from his hand. “Nuh-uh, this goes both ways,” Jimin insists, a smile still plastered on his face.

“Fine. Let’s do a routine,” you give in. “But I take the lead. Keep up, Park.”

Not giving him the chance to disagree, you skate to the middle of the rink. Starting with a three-turn. You monitor Jimin on your peripheral vision, then, you proceed to do a salchow jump followed by loops.

- “Fuck,” you pant. Heat is running through your body, and with Jimin beside you exuding the same warmth, you feel even more hot despite being surrounded by ice. You can’t deny that running routines with Jimin was the most fun since your coach have been holding auditions for the past month.

“So…” Jimin starts, his green sweater seeming darker as it dampens with sweat. “Am I good enough to be your partner, Y/N?”

You laugh, “I could ask you the same thing.” Your frustration from earlier dissipated. “But yeah, you’re not bad, Park. Skills are mildly better than the previous three skaters we’ve had combined.”

Jimin scoffs. “Gee, thanks. Unfortunately, I need you to do one more thing for me before I settle on a verdict,” he challenges.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Do a double axel for me.” At this, your smile falters. “Unless, of course, you’ve grown rusty. If you ask me, those routines were safe,” he goads.

You hate this. You hate how he gets under your skin so easily despite having just met him. But you stand, and Jimin follows, dusting scraped ice off his pants. “I’ll go first,” he starts as he skates away for space. With bated breath and hope that he trips, you watch him glide around for a while, then launch to a smooth double axle.

Jimin chuckles, hands combing through his hair once again. “Your turn, L/N.”

You skate in circles, orbiting Jimin. You can do this, you think. You’ve been landing double axels for months now. Despite this, your nerves shake. But you’ll be damned if you get outperformed by Jimin. You ready your form as you take a deep breath.

It’s now or never.

In a millisecond, you’re in the air, and as you land your feet on the ice, you wobble until your body hits the ice. You yelp in pain, hands quick to clutch your ankle.

“Shit!” Jimin rushes to you. Eyes wide, frantically searching for your coach.

- Propped on the bed, you chew on jello as your coach chews your and Jimin’s ear off.

“What the fuck were you guys thinking? I left you guys to get acquainted, not compete,” she whisper-yells. You and Jimin exchange a look. His eyes are shy and guilty.

“Y/N, I told you to be careful.”

“I was,” you nod, scooping a mouthful of jello. Another tirade was ready to leave your coach’s mouth when the door to your hospital room opens.

“Y/N,” Jungkook barges in. Eyes focused on yours as he walks to your side. Your coach sighs, “Jungkook, talk some sense into her, will you?” She pleads before leaving your room.

On the other side of your bed, Jimin clears his throat and introduces himself, his arms outstretched for a handshake. Jungkook ignores it; eyes still on you, but his words are clearly directed at Jimin, “You can leave us now.”

Nothing is said further, and Jungkook sits on your bed. Jimin stands in disbelief.

“It’s fine, Jimin,” you break the awkward tension, “I’ll see you next practice.”

Jimin nods at you, “Right. Get well soon. I’ll visit you tomorrow.”

Jungkook’s head finally whips to face Jimin. “There’s no need for that,” he speaks with finality, staring him down. Jimin scoffs, but after a second, he relents, nods at you for a goodbye, then leaves the room.

As soon as the door closes, Jungkook's voice booms, “What the fuck were you thinking?”

You roll your eyes and end his incoming scolding before he can even start with a raise of your hand.

“You really are your mom’s son, huh? She said those exact words earlier,” you chuckle.

“Don't laugh. Nothing’s funny about this. You’re hurt, Y/N. This could have been really serious.”

You sigh, “I know. And I was scared, okay? But the doctor said it’s just a mild sprain. Nothing too serious, and give it a few weeks rest, and I’m good as new.”

Your hands reach out to straighten his furrowed brows. “You’ll get wrinkles if you keep scowling.” Jungkook pulls your hand away from his face, and for a while, you think you’ve really pissed him off. But in the same breath, he pulls your hand to his lips. “I got so fucking scared when my mom called me. I rushed here and I was even in the middle of eating.”

You snort out a laugh, and your other hand reaches the half-eaten jello and offer it to him.

“No, thanks,” he groans in disgust. “I think I’ve had my fill of jellos during your last stay here.” Cue another eye roll from you, “You’re so dramatic.” Jungkook laughs and just stares at you. There goes your heart again, doing somersaults, and you think you’re growing hot by the second he stares you down.

You clear your throat, “Well, there’s a vending machine at the corner, I think.”

Jungkook nods then stands, and you think he’s heading to buy snacks when he locks the door.

“I think I prefer the snack already here, though.”

And there’s the Jungkook, you know. While you’d rather twist your other ankle than admit that sleazy line worked on you, the fact that you’re in a hospital isn’t lost on you.

“You can’t be serious, Jungkook.”

“Oh, but I am,” he grins. Hands trailing on your legs, but he remains mindful of your sprained ankle.

“I’ll be careful, babe.”

It’s shameless how you’re already breathless. His name leaves your lips in lust-filled whispers. Pants discarded on the side of your bed, Jungkook salivates at seeing the wet patch on your underwear.

Giving in to his primal desire, he moves the cloth aside and licks at your pussy.

“Gguk,” you moan. “Not much time. Just fuck me already.”

His head shakes, and you feel his tongue move inside you. “I haven’t had my fill yet.” His thumb plays with your clit as he eases two of his fingers inside you. Your back arches, moans stuck in your throat and you remind yourself you’re in public, albeit inside closed doors, you know how thin these walls are.

Jungkook hums, and you look down at him. The sight has you gushing, and your bent knees buckle. He’s rutting himself on the bed as his tongue and fingers play with you.

“Jungkook,” you call his name with a moan. He looks up, but his fingers continue to go in and out of your pussy. Your expressions match each other—eyes lidded with lust and mouth open in silent moans and groans.

“Fuck me. Now.” Giving your pussy one last suck, Jungkook finally listens to you. The bed creaks as he kneels to unbuckle his belt and pull his pants down to his thighs.

You open your legs wider. “You really are my dream girl,” he grunts. “Will you take off your shirt for me, babe, please.”

You hum, watching him stroke himself as he waits for you to pull your shirt over your head. “I will if you will.”

In record time, Jungkook has his shirt scattered on the hospital floor. Scooting closer to you, Jungkook remains mindful of your foot. But it isn’t long until he rubs his tip to your clit.

“Say please.”

“Please, Jungkook.”

Satisfied at your whiny voice, he pushes his dick inside you. You both moan before Jungkook realizes where you are. And so he kisses you, mouth catching your moans. His hands move from your hips to your chest. Both of his hands full with your tits, fingers pulling playfully with your nipples. You wrap your good leg around his hips, foot pushing his ass closer to you.

Mouths parting for a breather, you lean back. It’s a filthy view, but the noises you make are extremely lewd. You now hear the metal creaking and your pussy squelching each time Jungkook thrusts inside you.

“Baby,” Jungkook whispers from your neck. “Don’t scare me like that ever again.” You would have sensed how earnest he was if you weren’t too lost in your pleasure. But you hum and tangle your hand with his hair, as you pull him for a kiss. His thrusts are now deeper and harder. “Cum for me, babe.” Your body at his beck and call, you cum. Milking your orgasm, Jungkook continues to pound your pussy.

“Mm, sensitive,” you whine.

“One more, baby,” Jungkook asserts with his hands going down to rub circles on your clit. You’re delirious. “One more for me,” he grunts as he thrusts, “With me.”

You can feel another orgasm slowly approaching, and you know Jungkook’s about to reach his high, too. You open your eyes and find him already looking at you. Your pupils are blown wide with lust, and in that shared moment, you knew.

You come together with breathy moans.

- Jungkook lays on top of you, his body keeping you warm. “You’re coming home with me.”

You hum, “Have mercy on my pussy, Jeon. I don’t think I can even walk out of here, and it’s not because of my sprained foot.”

He raises his head from your chest, thumb circling your side boob. “I didn’t mean for another round, Y/N. Get your head out of the gutter,” he teases.

Your brows furrowed in confusion.

“You have a foot injury. You need someone to take care of you.”

Cue your heart somersaults.

At your silence, Jungkook thinks he said something wrong, so he tries to lay out a more acceptable reason for having you in his home, “I think my mom would also prefer that she watches over you as you recover. Can’t have you attempting to skate with an injury.” At that, you lightly smack his head. “I’m not that stupid, Jeon,” you scoff.

“Right,” he laughs and lays his head back to your chest. He leaves a kiss on your sternum and you struggle to breathe as you try to calm your heart on haywire.

-

>> Page 3

[hittos]

𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐲𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐲𝐞 | 𝐘. 𝐎𝐤𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k words 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: non con, forced breeding, mentions of cheating, mentions of bullying, abuse (lmk if I missed anything) 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Yuta thinks it's about time he gets even with his middle school bully. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is 3 days late because uhh umm *runs away*

You stared in disbelief at Yuta’s redoubtable and imposing visage. He was nothing like the skinny, wimpy kid you used to shove out the way and degrade as you please. He was much bigger now, his shirt fit tighter and his biceps were noticeably bulging, a far cry from his old self.

You felt intimidated in his presence, all you could think about was how easy it would be for him to overpower you as opposed to back then, “how have you been?” His eyes still remain pure, though now embellished with confidence and self assurance. He seemed kind still even after all you did to torment him in middle school.

“I’ve been well and you?” you answered, beginning to feel antsy as you study his angular face in the warm light of some shoddy coffee shop a few blocks from where you live, you had to admit he had gotten handsome over the years, seemingly getting his life together while yours was falling apart.

“Do you live around here?” he asked, his eyes showing no sign of resentment or hatred towards you, it was as if his memory of middle school was erased completely. If you didn’t know any better you might have seriously believed that, but if he remembered you then he remembered what you did. All you ever were to him was a tormentor, so it simply isn’t feasible to believe that he could divorce the memories of you from the misery you made him feel in middle school.

“Yeah, a few blocks away from here, actually” you smiled politely, praying he didn’t notice the streaks of dried tears on your face or at least have the courtesy not to bring it up, “that’s such a coincidence, i just moved in also a couple of blocks from here”

“Then you should know there’s a place that serves much better coffee about 10 minutes from here, if you’re willing to walk farther” you chuckled awkwardly, wanting nothing more than to walk into the nearest ocean and never resurface again. You wish he would look at you like you’re a piece of gum stuck under his shoe, to yell at you or to call you every curse word in every language in the world, but he didn’t. He was polite and friendly, which only worsened the guilt you feel watching him talk to you as if you’re old friends.

“Why don’t you show me around the neighborhood sometime?” the way he said it so nonchalantly, you almost wouldn’t believe he was subtly asking you out. You tried to mask the fluster in your face, he was almost unrecognizable now compared to his former self, “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that very much” you drowned out the voice of guilt in your head saying you owe him that much, opting instead to stupidly remain loyal to the boyfriend you knew good and well was cheating on you as you spoke.

“Number 47” the barista called to the busy space.

“That’s me, see you around, Yuta” you rushed to get your order, relieved that the conversation was over.

“I can walk you home if-” you didn’t wait for him to finish before turning down his offer, “oh don’t worry, this neighborhood is very safe besides i’m sure you have a lot on your plate,” you grabbed the cup from the counter and hurried to leave the situation, opting out of adding sugar like you normally would

You were relieved you left before he could press you about walking you home, you thought as tears began falling freely from your blurry eyes, occasionally a heave or a soft sniffle would sound from you, filling up the quiet, dark, and suspiciously empty road. You made a silent prayer that you won’t have to see your boyfriend fucking the newest girl of the week on your couch when you get home. You don’t think you’ll be able to take it.

You wish you could leave him, but you couldn’t afford to get your own apartment. Your boyfriend never missed a chance to remind you of that. Each time you caught him, his eyes would be unmoving and his tone harsh, “what are you going to do about it? Leave me? You know you can’t take care of yourself, you’re too stupid to” he would say as he watched you cry. You hated him so much and unbeknownst to you, so did Yuta.

Your mind was so engulfed in grief that you didn’t notice you were being followed closely, you didn’t notice Yuta enter your building right behind you and you didn’t feel him as he silently stood behind you waiting for you to fish the keys out of your purse and unlock your door.

You sighed in relief seeing your boyfriend’s shoes were missing before a callous hand slapped itself over your mouth and pushed you into the apartment, the force causing you to fall to the floor. Yuta locked the door immediately before turning to look at you with chiling, dark blue eyes, “Y-yuta? What are you doing here?” your eyes widened in fear, he could just cum in his pants from the sight alone, you on your knees before him, fear stricken eyes trained on his unflinching ones. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“You know what i’m here for” he kneeled down to your level, caging your body between his and the cold floor, his clothed, hard cock brushing up against your panty-clad pussy, “get off of me” you struggled against his weight, but he only let out a tsk at your fruitless attempts and slapped your weaker hands away from his broad chest.

His hand traveled down between your legs and ripped your panties in half with ease, your cunt was quickly getting wetter as your body anticipated the oncoming intrusion of his impressive cock and his novel display of strength, your gaze was unbroken on his hand as it quickly fidgeted to free himself from the rough material.

One of his hands pinned both your struggling arms on top of where he’s laid you down, the other was giving his dick a few pumps before he used it to collect the slick from your drooling hole and spread it along the length of your slit, paying close attention to the way your breath hitched each time his leaky cockhead caught your puffy clit. He pushed his cock past the tight confines, soon being greeted with your sticky insides, “oh, baby, all this for me?” he chuckled bitterly, his breath hit your skin like lava, “not your stupid cuck of a boyfriend?” tears were already falling down the apple of your cheek as your hands made contact with his face, digging your long nails into the delicate skin of his jaw.

To your dismay, this did little to dissuade him, in fact, the pain washing over him as you drew blood from his pale skin seemed to only drive him wilder, judging by the unhinged glare in his eyes, “do your worst, baby. I can fucking take it. I’m stronger now, i can protect you” his hips thrusted into you forcefully, punching a scream straight from your gut.

“You’re a fucking…” you grunted as you tried with all your might to push him off of you, but he is nothing like the frail boy you used to push around and laugh at till he’s in tears, he’s much stronger now and he’s much bigger, in more ways than one, you note how his cock stretches you out deliciously, wider than your deadbeat boyfriend ever could, “...creep, I hate you”

His hips picked up pace, rolling into you smoothly, as smoothly as he could with you thrashing around, resisting his love and affection, “you’ve still got a venomous tongue, i see” his hand snaked around your neck, restricting the air flowing to your lungs, “that’s fine” his eyes darkened, sending a shiver down your spine and making you think maybe you said the wrong thing at the wrong time, “I’ll just have to fuck it out of you”

In the flash on an eye, your legs were pushed up over his shoulder, his cock suddenly reaching much deeper inside you, before you can even make a plea for a moment to adjust to his size in this new position, his cock pistoned inside you at lightning speed, his length assaulting your cervix each time he buried himself inside you to the hilt.

Who would have thought that little, puny Yuta could make you scream around his dick. The same Yuta who avoided your gaze like you were medusa is now inches from your face, gripping your jaw, forcing your tear stained eyes to look at his cold and confident ones as he fucks you mercilessly. Pathetic, bitchboy Yuta is now holding your legs in place as your pussy creams around his length, making your body shiver as he continues to pound your tiny, abused pussy.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to have you spread out for me like this,” his sloppy kisses littered your sweaty body as tears continued to flow down your eyes, you tried to thrash your head, escaping his kisses. He brought down his flat palm against your ass in a firm spank, your hole clenched deliciously around him as you screamed out again, praying that your neighbors could hear or that they had already called the police, “you owe me after all the shit you put me through”

You threw your head back, trying desperately to search for the sound of the police siren or the flash of red and blue lights, but all you heard is the sound of skin slapping skin and the sloshing sound of your tight hole being desperately violated, the only thing you see is the mob of sweaty black hair rocking back and forth with his thrusts and a pair of dark blue eyes, almost black, filled with lust looking down at you as if you are prey.

“I’ve been watching you for a few years now” he confessed, as he peppered unwanted kisses on your defeated face, “I saw the way that asshole treats you,” his eyes bore into your unfocused ones as a second orgasm washes over you, “I can treat you better than him and i can make you happy” his voice quieted down to a whisper, he wasn’t sure if you even heard him or if your mind checked out some time ago. 

“Y’know, you’re ovulating” he grunted in your ear as his pace got faster and sloppier, your eyes widened as fear began to fester deep within you, somewhere his dick had already reached. Suddenly, your will to fight him off was restored, unfortunately, he was on the cusp of cumming already, the adrenaline giving him more strength to pin you down, not that he needed it, to deposit his sperm deep inside your fertile walls. He ignored your pleas and buried his cock to the hilt inside you. With a final shiver, his dick shot out rope after rope of cum, painting your cervix white, “I’ve been saving up just for you” he whispered in your ear before kissing the shell of it.

The gravity of what just happened only settles when he has already pulled out his soft cock from your aching hole, “why did you do this to me?” you screamed at him, anger and sadness rushed through you, “I have dreams and a life, how am i supposed to do that with a fucking baby?”

“You’ll be my wife, I'll always keep you nice and pregnant for me” he smiled at you fondly, your jaw slackened in disbelief.

“You ruined my fucking life”

“And you ruined mine” he interrupted your outburst coldly, “guess we’re even now”

“I hate you, i hate you, i hate you” a final wave of tears burst from your eyes, his hand bringing you over in a hug, allowing you to cry on his strong chest, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“It’s okay,” he whispered more to himself than you, “pregnancy will make you kinder”

[trendywaifus]

Can i have Lisa,Eula and jean with an academic S/O who became smart through hard work , but still feeling like they are not smart enough?

Thanks for your writing btw they have been helping me whenever i feel down

school’s finna start soon so I’m glad I was able to get to this at a nice time. also, you’re welcome lovely! if you ever feel down just know that I’m always here for you and I’m here to stay. this blog right here proves it and this is for everyone else as well!

btw this is heavy in dialogues–ish. ( not proofread lol)

“ your cute little nose has been buried in those books for a while now, darling. i almost mistaken you for jean. “ lisa jokes sweetly, placing her hand on your back as she peeks over your shoulder to take a quick glance at your progress. you’ve tucked yourself away in the small corner of the library for the past few hours and now it’s almost closing time. for the time you been there, she doesn’t think she seen you out of that chair.

“ sorry lisa, “ you awkwardly laughed, “ i’ve been stuck on this formula for a bit. i still need to figure out the base ingredient for making the heatshield potion. “ she hums, her eyes skimming over the question and then your written out work. she rubs your back soothingly before she answers, “ you got almost everything down packed cutie but what you’re missing is butterfly wings. “

butterfly wings? was it really that simple?

you groaned, crossing your arms. “ that was such an easy and common answer, lisa. why didn’t i get that?” she chuckles airily and kissed your temple. “ don’t beat yourself over it too much. alchemy can be simple at times despite it being really complex. when i studied at the sumeru academy, even i was having trouble with some of the fundamentals and properties of alchemy. “

“ yes but lisa, compared to me, you’re, well—you! you’re a genius. you had to have gotten it right the first time every time! “

lisa frowns at your words. “ which was due to my insatiable hunger for knowledge back then. I can’t deny that i am more academically–gifted than others but you can only go so far with just pure talent. many people unfortunately doesn’t understand that. “

her words sinks in, you felt stupid for even exerting your frustrations on your lover, she was just trying to help you. “ no need to look so ashamed, darling. i understand how you feel completely, trust me. however, don’t let this discourage you from your studies. i really do admire your work ethic, you remind me of my younger self. . in a better way if i should say. “ she pats your shoulder and yawns.

“ with that being said, it’s just about time for me to close the library. since you haven’t gotten out of that chair, that rear of yours must be sore. so why don’t you be a cutie and help me put everything back up? i’ll reward you with kisses after~ “

eula steps inside of the shared home with a deep sigh. after a long day of the usual nonsense with the locals and patrolling she wants nothing more than to settle in bed with you. she takes off her heels and steps into the unusually dark living room. weird, normally you’d wait in the living room for her with open arms and a huge smile but you’re nowhere to be found. her first thought would of been you going to sleep since she did arrive late later in the night this time. that was until she notices a dim light at the end of the hallway from the shared bedroom.

she raises a brow and made her way down the hallway. “ unbelievable. “ eula mutters under her breath as she sees your hunched over figure at the desk, studying. “ you were like this when i left in the afternoon! “ you jumped at the sound of her voice and smiled apologetically at her, rubbing the back of your neck. “ my dear, you’re back! sorry, i got caught up with the material and i didn’t notice you’ve came in. “ the woman scoffed, crossing her arms with disdain. “ not greeting me at the door is something I can live with, but coming home to you cramped up in this room is ridiculous. did you even take a break, eat, or even come out of this room? “

you avert your gaze to the floor, swallowing thickly. eula impatiently taps her foot, waiting for your response. “ well? “

“. . . .uh, no? “

“ what the devil! what’s the meaning of this? you’ve been like this for the past few days! are there any exams I should know about that’s coming up? “

“ . . .no, “ eula was about to scold you but she stops herself as the sad look on your face makes itself known. her heart drops at the sight.“ i. .feel like i’m inadequate. seeing the people around me thrive while i’m stuck at a standstill. .hurts. “ you admitted, lips pursing into a tight line. eula stands there by the doorway in silence, finding the right words to say. she understands you fully, it scares her of how familiar this set up is. it was like she was hearing her inner thoughts when she was younger.

she sighs, “ don’t you dare say that, (name). you’re not inadequate at all. “ she walks over to you and rests her hand over yours. “ think of it like this, people have their own way of dancing, some may like to go slow or fast in terms of tempo to reach the end of their song. but, do you know what matters most for that to happen? “

“ practice and stamina? you’ve practiced dancing all your life, eula, wouldn’t you say those are crucial? “

“ yesn’t. i’m also trying to be more practical here, mind you. it’s about discipline and grit. you can’t have a good practice routine if you can’t separate yourself from distractions. you most certainly won’t have good stamina if you don’t have the grit to work yourself through inevitable trials and errors. i’m the way i am today not only because of the aristocratic ways but because of those two things. “

she takes it upon herself to close the book in your hands and sets it somewhere on the desk. a soft frown adorns her lips, “ but you also have to maintain your health as well, both physically and mentally. so whatever this you’ve been doing—needs to stop. now, come and get ready to go to bed with me my love, i demand for my nightly cuddles. “

“ my love, why are you up so late? “ you jumped in surprise at the familiar concerned voice and a hand touching your shoulder. you whipped your head around to see your lover, who had a worried smile on her face. if she was already home then it must of been almost midnight by now! you started studying around midday. “ oh jean, uh, i was just catching up on some notes. “ you explained, gesturing towards the set of papers in front of you. the blonde peered over your shoulder to take a look with a curious glint in her eyes. “ ah. .my apologies but, i don’t remember you mentioning anything about homework or exams coming up, no? “

you scratched the back of your neck nervously, “ no, i didn’t, i just wanted to study. “

“ and. .when did you start? “ jean asked softly.

“ erm, probably like two or three hours after you left?”

jean almost gasped before clearing her throat. “ i know that i’m not the one to talk about taking breaks but. .did you perhaps get a chance to take a walk or anything of the sorts? “ there was a short pause before you responded with a meek voice, “ . .no, no i didn’t. b-but to be fair, i lost track of. .— “

noticing your nervous demeanor, she lightly squeezes your shoulder and kisses the top of your head affectionately. “ i understand. you must be tired and hungry, do you want me to cook something while you rest in bed? “

“ no jean, i’m fine. you just got done with your official duties, it’s okay—“

“ i insist, dear. here, take my hand. “ with a warm smile dancing upon her lips, she holds out her hand for you to take. you tentatively take it and jean gently pulls you up. you stumbled a bit due to your sleeping legs but jean was quick to hold you steady. “ are you alright? do you need me to carry you to bed? “ she asks, her oceanic blue eyes filled with worry.

you chuckled softly, “ absolutely not, sweetheart. i can walk. let’s not put your back at risk here too. “ a light blush stains her cheeks; jean quietly leads you to your shared bed for you to rest. “ I-I will go prepare dinner for us, please stay in bed dear! “ she says shyly before scrambling off to the kitchen to hide the redness of her face as she hears your growing laughter.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Pretty please could you do F, H, N, or Y for crocodile one day! I’m curious on your thoughts about him and I love when you talk about him 😭 my new obsession is the pug who he hates but tolerates just for you, so sweet 🥺

Yandere Alphabet letters a, i and q for crocodile hdsjahj anon I'm glad you like my rambles because they are so much fun to write 💕💕 regarding the little dog - don't be fooled, it's 50% him wanting to see you happy and 50% having even more leverage over you 🤭 mean man...

tw.yandere, violence, minors dni

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Uh oh, you might want to reconsider doing that. You call it fighting back, he calls it being an ungrateful, whiny little brat and it pisses him off. There are few things that make his blood boil when it comes to you, and being defiant and insulting him is one of them. Does he know that you’re here against your will? Sure. Does he care? No. You see, he views himself as some sort of provider - he’s giving you a life a million times better than your old one. You’re cared for, well-fed, nicely dressed, don’t have to work - really, your only job is to play house when he’s around (which he isn’t all that often, busy as he is). He doesn't even expect you to fuck him for it, he just wants someone to come home to, who will let him rest his head on their lap and caress it. (Of course, he oh-so-graciously ignores the gigantic power imbalance between the two of you when it suits him, especially when it comes to the bedroom. But generally speaking, I think he can be rather mellow compared to others, can even be reasoned with to a certain extent. Just be good for him.)

He thinks he’s being more than generous, more than fair - for the position you're in. A lesser pirate would have killed you by now, he tells you, would have gotten a new toy already. No, no - he is here to stay, he wants to see you thrive, even.And if you throw it all in his face, spit at him, dare to fight him - oh, what he’ll feel will be beyond good and evil. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, darling.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Okay, good news first: When it comes to Crocodile, I’d argue that the worst experience is really limited to just one. I’ve talked about him physically lashing out at you in a moment of rage and in the weeks that have passed that thought kind of stuck with me. At his core, this man doesn't want to hurt you (deeply). Manipulating you with visual threats and possibilities is one thing, but genuinely injuring you to make you bend to his will? Not really his style. Yes, he does corporal punishments - but only because they’re so effective and can be done so quickly. (A classic action - réaction, if you will.) So, what exactly is that nebulous worst experience? It’s him either using his Devil Fruit powers or his hook on you. To even get to that point, he’d have to be beyond angry with you. It’s probably something that happens early on while you’re not yet acquainted with your new role and you dare to insult him, try to escape - maybe you spiral, his temper simply cooks over and- Trust me, he’ll never do it again. It’ll leave permanent physical damage. But it’ll also traumatize you into submission, which is the only good thing to come out of this, at least to him. You’ll both regret it. And you’ll both learn from it.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Spankings. Lots of them. It’s quick, efficient, shows you who is in charge, makes you sit a little straighter, makes you sweeter - he isn’t beyond mind games in general but when it comes to punishments, a quick correction is just more convenient. Manipulation and the likes are the long con, the work he puts in to undermine your self-esteem, to make you doubt your own feelings for your captor. But the spankings are the here and now, the thing that keeps the cat from sharpening its claws on the sofa.

You’ll learn to associate that telltale-look of tired disappointment with a sigh and over my knee, darling. He’ll ask what you’ve done wrong, will make you count, will leave you feeling so small, like an unruly child and not a fully grown adult - it’s a great way to keep you edge, to never let you forget who is in charge here, no matter how much time passes and in how many gifts he showers you.

And if it’s really dire - you get the belt. 

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

I always waver on this one. We know from the story that he isn’t afraid of planning, slowly building, waiting - Operation Utopia was a goddamn mammoth and he has the patience to wait on you for years and years to make it perfect - but. Doesn’t he deserve something soft? Someone to come home to? And what good is all that plotting and lying in wait and watching if he could have had you by that point already?He definitely won’t go ‘alright, that one’s spouse-shaped, put them in the bag’ when he sees you for the first time but he won’t wait too long for you either. Just long enough to gain sufficient intel, to get to know you a little better, to make your disappearance as smooth and seamless as possible. I’m not trying to sound harsh, but not only does he not want to wait too long - there are also other, more important things to do? He can’t spend months upon months learning about you inch by inch, he has an Ancient Weapon to seize and a country to overthrow. You can’t be mad at him when he pulls the plug at a certain moment and simply takes what he wants. It’s really only logical.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

i've been feeling horrendous about my writing for months now after finding someone writing the same pairing as i was and everyone just... likes her so much better than me. people are drawing fanart of her works and she's gotten so popular and i know i'm not entitled to fanart - that's not what this is about. i feel like a complete failure compared to her and i'm consumed. it feels like everything i ever wrote about that pairing is pointless and that i should just delete it all because honestly, who would care anyway? i don't like writing anymore

I think you will find fandom experience a lot more enjoyable if, instead of looking at it as a competition where there must be a winner and a runner up, you try looking at it as a community where people who share the same interests come together to talk and post about their shared interests.

personally, I like having lots of people write about my comfort ship, because that means I can enjoy more content about my blorbos. I’ve briefly talked about how hits and kudos aren’t everything when it comes to writing fanfics, so maybe you could check that out and see if it can help you feel at least a little better?

but if seeing that person’s work become popular still bothers you, maybe you can mute or block them for the sake of your mental health?

again, fandoms should be about joy and fun, not competition or anxiety. if what you’re doing costs you your mental health, maybe it’s for the best you step away for a while and see if you feel better? I’m sorry to hear you’ve lost interest in writing. but I will not advise anybody to force themself to keep writing if writing comes at the expense of their mental health. fanfics, just like fandom, should be about joy and fun and it should be your getaway. not a job or a competition. so maybe some time off could benefit you. and you can always come back anytime you’re ready.

my advice, though, is that you write for yourself because you love your comfort characters (and the act of getting to write about them alone makes you happy), not for strangers’ approval.

your mental health should always be the priority. I wish you all the best, anon.

[danvillecheese]

the dwampyverse and all its timelines

welcome to the analysis i've been promising for like two years! this will be phineas and ferb centric simply due to the sheer amount of episodes compared to milo murphy's law and hamster and gretel. with the inclusion of hamster and gretel, i will admit this has gotten a little less easy to navigate, but i'm hoping with a bit of analysis and suspension of belief, it'll be okay. ready? lets go!

the best way i can describe this first part is by providing a visual of how i see it. and using a three-circle venn diagram makes perfect sense with all of the overlapping and individual parts.

so - pictured above is said venn diagram. each part is its own timeline. ones where each show is their own timeline, ones where pnf/mml overlap, mml/hng overlap, pnf/hng overlaps and the one right in the centre where they all overlap. this doesnt include timelines where "endings" are separate (read: quantum boogaloo, act your age, doof 101, owca files... any ending that isnt last day of summer. but i'll get to those ones later). make sense?

1. where only phineas and ferb exists.

this works best before 2015. this timeline is the one that has zero murphy crumbs on it. dan and swampy haven’t yet had the idea of doing a show about a kid with awful luck and time travelling shenanigans. this is the most nostalgic timeline, for phineas has reigned over the disney channel cartoons for eight years. the lumberzacks dont exist, hamster and gretel dont save danville each week. pnf is its own show. no other shows have an influence on it.

adding to this - if you ignore any of the alternate timeline episodes and stop at last day of summer, you get my personal favourite way of watching the show. this one is basically just ignoring owca files, doof 101, all of mml and most importantly - act your age. I love the idea of an open book ending for these characters, especially for ones we saw on our tvs for over eight years [when it aired]. the events that take place after last day of summer are simply giving an idea of what COULD happen to our beloved cast, and without them, they really make no impact on the original story. the events before the end of summer are in no way impacted by the other alternate ending episodes.

2. where both phineas and ferb and milo murphy’s law exists

this is the canon, everything-exists-all-at-the-same-time timeline, pre-hamster and gretel. every piece of context works together, and everything is all connected. everything is canon! everyone is friends with each other! the pnf effect works! doof moves in with the murphy's, and this timeline is basically if you watched pnf and mml chronologically, without any of the alt ending episodes (in case you forgot which ones: quantum boogaloo, act your age, doof 101 and the owca files). this is the one i think we're all familiar with - it also includes candace against the universe (mostly uh... broadly speaking, the lumberzacks are the only mml thing in there).

3. where only milo murphy’s law exists

a timeline where pnf and hng are nonexistent. this timeline would probably exclude anything past season one, really. the crossover would not work. maybe even in this timeline the pistachions take over everything and the human characters cease to exist. (eleanor shellstrop this is the bad place!.jpeg) this further pushes the point (that I haven’t made - I’ve been thinking it I just haven’t said it lmao) that you can’t have milo murphys law without phineas and ferb. the crossover plot proves it. both in the real world AND in mml.

4. where just hamster and gretel exists

this one is a little hard to explain, especially since hng has only just finished its first season. there are a few pnf references in this show but it stands on its own feet much more than mml did. i think the likelihood of hng existing in its own timeline works a lot better than mml - but the chance of there being a surprise crossover is moderately high. like i said, it's a little hard to analyse this since its that much more removed from its predecessors.

5. where milo murphy’s law and hamster and gretel exist

this is a very unlikely scenario, but there is a chance a timeline like this exists somewhere. it’s a bit difficult to analyse or even prove since there haven’t been any kind of references or even characters that pop up in hng from mml. I wouldn’t expect the opposite either, considering that mml ended in 2019 and hng didn’t exist until after that, so hng within mml is basically impossible without a third season.

these last two timelines make a lot less sense, especially since hng still has stories to tell and we havent seen mml characters there yet (well... unless you count doof. hes technically a mml character, right? as much as some of us dislike that fact? haha. ahahaha.)

6. where phineas and ferb and hamster and gretel exists

this one works. i think it’s basically how dtva thinks it works (basically completely ignoring mml’s entire existence lmao) but this is basically the canon timeline of hng currently. but we’ll wait and see if there’s a crossover.

7. where all of phineas and ferb, milo murphy’s law and hamster and gretel exist all at once

like I say, a surprise crossover could happen (but based off what happened with the pnf effect I can’t even imagine how messy this would get) so yes, they could exist all at once. and they probably do, just that hng is a lot further removed from its predecessors in terms of references and characters popping up out of nowhere (doof and his inators don’t seem to have much importance yet, but who knows how it’ll end). this timeline, basically, is for those who don’t really mind that everything’s in a collective universe, and it seems like the easiest one to comprehend if you aren’t pedantic about all of this.

but what about the episodes where timelines end?

you’re probably here thinking okay, so what? there’s different timelines. this isn’t news. what about the other individual episodes that are within the umbrella timeline? I like to think of them as individual timelines within the show, along with all the other ones mentioned above.

quantum boogaloo

timelines have been a thing pretty much since season 2 of phineas and ferb, notably in the episode quantum boogaloo where they go forward in time and see a potential future where stacy is the president of uruguay. this is an example of something ‘canonically’ happening after last day of summer, 20 years in the future. this episode has a couple of potential timelines - the one where everything is fine, and the one where doof is emperor and everyone is named joe. the first timeline has candace ending up with jeremy and having three kids, along with ferb at camp david and phineas at an awards ceremony in switzerland. however, this particular timeline doesnt match up equally with act your age, since their ages dont line up. in quantum boogaloo, pnf are aged 30 twenty years later, in aya, pnf are aged 18 ten years later. this means they could either be 8 or 10 in the original summer, depending on the timeline. the second one is pretty much null to me since they time travel back and both of the future timelines cancel out.

doof 101

so. this is an episode i havent seen for a while. however, this is one of the perfect examples since the theme for doof 101 says "and this all takes place in fall so don't let the timeline throw you" like hiiii thank you for acknowledging that this is a separate timeline! there's a short bit in the title that shows doof facing either prison time or teaching at the high school in court, and its something we don't see the events leading up to. sure, he's done crimes against humanity but there weren't ever any consequences during the show. who turned him in? why is he on trial? what happened between him being evil and becoming a high school science teacher? and why does this monobrow edward rooney ass guy have beef with him and charlene out of nowhere? timelines, dude. got me stressed out and its not even my show.

act your age

[through gritted teeth] this episode also shows another potential canonical ending for the cast. phineas ends up with isabella 10 years after last day of summer, showing that this particular timeline has the kids aged around 8 or 9 in the original summer. we all know my thoughts on this particular ending, notably posted here. this timeline is easy to ignore if you dislike it, like the majority of us.

what does line up with the original summer, however, is doof's b-plot in act your age. I'm not a huge hater of his arc in this episode, and honestly, it might be his most in-character timeline ending out of all of them. yes, you heard me, theres something i dont dislike about act your age. like i said in the post linked above, i dont find it hard to believe he would bowl with perry and carl and monogram every week. he would totally have a mid-life crisis that wasn't real, like this guy canonically can't even hate christmas. this is so in character for him! in terms of it being a different timeline though, the only proof i have is that it's one of many different timeline ending episodes.

last day of summer

this episode is kinda like a flagship for the timelines, and as mentioned above, my favourite ending. i don’t think I need to reiterate it, but it really just provides an open ending for the entire cast, and makes room for anything else to happen. I’m curious to see how it pans out in the reboot; if they keep the continuity and acknowledge that ldos happened, or if they just kinda skip over it if it’s true that the new seasons will happen in the summer after the original one. but don’t worry - if the reboot adds any kind of canon divergence (I’m literally counting on it) You Will Certainly Hear From Me About It. lol

the owca files

I'll admit i haven't watched owca files for a number of years but i still remember bits of it. its a very strange timeline to me. i understand that doof is legally an ocelot and can be an agent but it does feel like the beginning of that out-of-characterness he displays in mml. and i guess the owca files is canon there, right? the bit with monogram during the pnf effect?

this also includes the pine tree. it feels like a way of letting us know owca files is in a different timeline. the flynn-fletcher house gets blown up, they get new plates, and we have symbolism of the end of an era with a pine tree in their backyard.

milo murphy's law

this one in particular is mostly just the pnf/mml overlap but ensures that doof ends up as professor time. if you've seen mml i don't think i need to explain it - after last day of summer (and owca files if ur nasty) the events of mml occur chronologically as if its one continuous timeline.

wait! what about the other canon divergent episodes?

ones that aren’t necessarily an ending but are set smack bang in the middle of the show with no explanation? don’t worry. I got you.

phineas and ferb christmas vacation

this episode features doof being evil in the middle of winter. dan povenmire has said he relapsed, but this is a perfect example of different timelines. a lot of the “ending” episodes were written and aired well before last day of summer so the chance of them knowing how the show was going to end was likely very little, if not zero. so, let’s imagine that last day of summer doesn’t happen. none of that arc happens, it’s just doof being passively evil throughout the year and then this christmas event happens. i don’t think he ever stopped being evil in this timeline. the chance of him just getting less… violent with his schemes is probably the best way of thinking about it. hell, he got perry a present. yes, it was a vase, but would the s1 heinz have done that? probably not. he’s definitely less evil as the show progresses, and even an episode like this one that aired in season 2 shows how quickly they turned it around.

on the other hand - the boys make their santa clubhouse invention and candace stresses what to get jeremy as a gift. does she try and bust them? surprisingly, no. her main focus is jeremy, and when it all goes south she’s in on what the boys are doing when santas elves show up. she mentions “what’s different this year than last year?”, insinuating that the boys weren’t inventing anything before the summer that the show is set in, and that this episode is definitely set after that summer. the B plot is definitely more solid proof of the alternate timeline, with heinz “relapsing” although I struggle to believe that with all the canon divergency that happens within the show and in mml/hng the chances of it just being a relapse are very remote.

that’s the spirit!

this one is similar in that it diverges from our last day of summer ending. doof is still evil, and candace - wait, she doesn’t even try and bust them. she’s keen to trick or treat with the gang and then go to jeremy’s party. she doesn’t even try and bust them. (man, it’s almost like it’s another timeline or something.)

back to doof though - he might have relapsed like in the christmas vacation episode, but he’s not necessarily evil here either. sure, he declared war on grass for an unknown reason and turned himself into a were-cow, but it’s not established that he wants to take over the tri state area like usual. if anything, it’s the opposite. he runs from the masses like it’s a witch hunt.

the curse of candace

this episode is all fine until the end where candace turns to dust and phineas says "we're gonna need a dustpan and some glue." there isnt much else to say about this one, but it indicates another timeline where candace is glued back together afterwards. and she’s also a vampire.

happy new year!

this is set after the summer the show is set in, considering that jeremy and coltrane are at the party as candace and stacy's respective dates. doof is still evil as his plot is to become ruler of the tri-state area. candace makes one last attempt at busting her brothers. this is definitely another timeline, and also apparently one where gangnam style exists. pretty easy to understand - doof doesnt have his giving-up-evil arc and continues to be passively evil like always. this could also work chronologically with christmas vacation, where he tries his naughty-inator and then a week later comes up with the resolution-changer-inator. candace's arc is a little different, she could have stayed consistent and tried to bust the boys from summer onwards, only getting to new years and wanting to change her ways with a new years resolution.

for your ice only

evil doof is back again in the fourteen days of winter vacation that fall between christmas and new years'. for him, this could be an evil scheme that takes place at some point in between christmas vacation and new years, or it could be its own timeline altogether. candace also attempts to bust the boys again, as per usual.

what's interesting about this one though, is the fact they refer back to football x7 when talking about hockey z9. and you're probably thinking 'obviously? whats ur point' and yes. obviously they bring up the original episode when referencing the sport with the same name format. but this also implies its in the same timeline as the football x7 game, meaning there's at least two timelines that divert off my fair goalie - one that doesn't include hockey z9 and one that does (this episode). and this one (i'm circling back) includes evil doof. bam!

escape from phineas tower

what! this is a normal episode, right? if that was your reaction upon reading that subtitle, you'd be thinking the same as me, until you remember the ending where the tower extends its forcefield around the entire milky way galaxy. but here's where things get really interesting. what film, may i ask, has a plot where the ensemble cast has to fly to another planet to rescue two other ensemble cast members? thats right, candace against universe! this means that catu is set in a timeline that doesn't include the escape from phineas tower episode, since they're able to exit the milky way galaxy and enter the vroblok cluster. this would be impossible if it were in the same timeline as this episode, since they would have stopped at the dome and wouldn't have been able to get to feebla-oot.

she’s the mayor

honourable mention to this episode since it features time travel and timeline fuckery and I never see anybody talk about it!

"Back at the golf course, Roger is astounded at how fast the game is going as Dr. Doofenshmirtz points out that the slight chance that the Accelerate-inator could destroy the very fabric of space-time and possibly the entire universe is a small price to pay to get done with the game. Perry then breaks the Accelerate-inator using a golf club, causing time to flow backwards at the exact moment when Linda and Candace are about to bust Phineas and Ferb, also undoing all of the day's events back to the announcement in City Hall and causing an alien from another universe to appear.

At City Hall, Mayor Doofenshmirtz prepares to announce the winner of the Mayor-For-A-Day Essay Contest. The alien destroys the Accelerate-inator, causing the time-line to be altered once again as the new honorary mayor is announced: the old coot and telling everyone that any gold that they find is now his, causing Candace to lament, "I was robbed."" (from the pnf wiki)

what would’ve happened if doof's machine wasn’t destroyed and set the timeline back into place? the fabric of time and space would have been destroyed, and there is a very high chance there would have been a last-day-of-summer-esque situation where everything within the void would cease to exist. right from the start of the episode, it begins with a clock chiming, so from the beginning we are made aware that time will somehow have significance, which it does. after the timeline resets, we hear the clock chime again, which lets the viewer know we're now in a different timeline. there don't seem to be any repercussions of this timeline fuckery later in the show since it doesn't get mentioned again.

night of the living pharmacists

second honourable mention goes to this ending that @momphineasandferbmadeablog reminded me of (tysm bestie) where it "ends" with stacy turning off her tv as if the entire episode was a horror film the whole time. however, even before verifying, i had a feeling it was debunked and its just the ending of the grievance film. and i was right.

"Dan Povenmire made it clear that the entire episode was canon instead of a film Stacy was watching, and that the "The End" card on Stacy's TV was merely the "The End" title card of the Grievance movie she was watching." (from the pnf wiki)

there isnt a citation for it and none of his tweets showed up while i was looking for actual proof but i definitely remember him saying it somewhere, but please, absolutely feel free to think of it as a separate timeline! without dan saying it's a canon episode, there isn't actually any proof within the episode that it isn't its own timeline.

across the second dimension/tales from the resistance: back to the second dimension

and for our third and final honourable mention, this one is basically the existence of the second dimension. I haven't added it as its own since the concept is pretty obvious - its another dimension where a different timeline occurs. i mean, idk if i need to fully explain it, if youve seen the film and the s4 episode you know what happens. it's explicitly stated to be another dimension, however the specific mention of timelines is nonexistent. semantics, yes, but i do really feel like atsd is separate from all of it.

it's certainly a timeline that could happen - doof could lose his choo-choo and eventually take over the tri-state area and the events of the film would occur, but the fact that the main characters cross over and meet each other puts it into a different category for me. but by all means, feel free to think of it as yet another timeline!

I want to specifically mention: this list of episodes is not at all an exhaustive number of timelines. the way I see it, this is just the ones that are “labelled” (for lack of a better word) as their own timelines. there can be as many or as few timelines within the dwampyverse as you like. this analysis is not a rulebook, but rather answering the conundrum with one solution out of an infinite number of possibilities.

the dwampyverse and its "current year syndrome"

i think we can all agree that phineas and ferb is a relatively timeless show, in that you could watch it at any point in the past fifteen years and it wouldn't feel particularly out of place. that being said, the technology used in the show makes it feel aged or weirdly out of time. most notably, the switch between candace having a flip phone in the first three seasons and a touch-screen phone in everything post-season four. this is clearly influenced by the smartphone boom that occurred in the 2010s when iphones became mainstream, and thus impacted everyday life, including in tv and film.

so, when the animators jumped on this trend, phineas and ferb became a lot less timeless. candace owning something like a flip phone, something that didn't even exist for a long period of time in real life, felt less like something that was trying to keep up with the times than when she suddenly appeared on screen with a smartphone. not to mention the alexa joke in candace against the universe. now that was a jumpscare.

if you did want to carbon date the summer that the show is set in, like this post did for example, and if you're like me, you might headcanon phineas and ferb's summer taking place somewhere between 2009 and 2012. the other times where they've crossed over is set whenever it makes sense. the pnf effect? i think its pretty much canon that it takes place in 2017, what with all the pop culture references like pokemon go, dabbing, and uptown funk. definitely things you can date back to that mid 2010s era.

milo murphy's law also makes sure it stays current too, like specifically mentioning the year 2016 when the lumberzacks formed, milo's bag of toothbrushes labeled 2012-2014, and king pistachion doing a selfie with everyone which is like the most 2016 thing ever. (you guys remember the oscars selfie?) there's certainly some purpose behind dating some of the events within the show, since its entire B-plot is about time travel, but it doesn't feel like its really trying to be a current show. at least, not until they have references and allusions to pop culture things like ducky mo-go.

hamster and gretel has what is unfortunately the worst display of the three - there's a lot of social media references in the show. not necessarily memes, but just a lot of display of the characters using social media. the first one that comes to mind is the destructress, where her typical Thing is her doing a livestream or some kind of story update announcement with her phone, clearly showing that this is a 2020s cartoon, and it feels the need to be very current. hell, eight year old gretel has an iphone in this show, but i won't go down the track of why that fact alone is so weird to me since it'll derail this entire analysis.

granted there are a LOT of inconsistencies throughout these three shows but the current year syndrome, although sometimes unavoidable, proves the fact there are multiple timelines - and they can be traced back to candace's flip phone.

so, what do we do with this?

I personally love cherry-picking the parts of canon that exist, purely from a selfish point of view but also because this universe allows for it. there are a lot of different endings or alternate paths these characters can go down, and as exemplified by act your age, we can either ignore them or embrace them. sure, it’s unlikely but there are some people who like the aya ending and say it’s their own canon, and others who like the ending where doof becomes professor time. or there's others, like me, who absolutely adore last day of summer as their timeline end. the openness of it in such a positive light makes it feel like it’s not even the ending for these characters.

it also begs the question - does everything go back to the status quo at the end of every phineas and ferb episode? well... it can't, really. most character arcs within the show are tied to events that happen, like monty and vanessa getting together, or buford joining the backyard gang, or even doof's slow arc to being a good, if not morally grey character.

no, it’s not a big deal that there’s a lot of different timelines in the sense you have to constantly think about it as you watch it. but it does present us with the classic conundrum: which one is actually canon? and to this, i say, pick your own ending. if you like cherry picking as much as I do, indulge yourself. skip episodes you don't like. ignore parts of canon that don't actually have that much impact on the timeline. hey, its not like the show doesn't allow for it!

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Have you read Percy Jackson? Of so could you do Straw Hats x 12 year old Daughter of PJO! Zeus? Thank you for your time BTW

I have only read the first book so far, so please forgive me if this isn’t written correctly.

-You had been having fun, wind surfing when a gust gave you a boost that you had easily underestimated, easily taking off with you, pulling you far from shore, farther than you were used to.

-Luckily a ship had seen you catching your big air and when they saw you panicking, they were quick to pull up beside you and you were stunned when Luffy shot his arm down, stretching it like rubber, and fished you and your board out.

-You were a lot younger than they first believed, being a young teenager as Chopper and Nami both scolded you, checking you out for any wounds as you looked a little sheepish, “Thanks for saving me- I wasn’t anticipating getting blown out to sea.”

-Franky just ruffled your hair affectionately, “IT’s okay- you caught some SUPER air out there!!” you beamed, feeling proud of yourself as you stood.

-Robin then spoke, “Do you always wind surf alone?” you shook your head, “No I’ve got others- I’m just the most advanced so I can go out farther. My friends are all on the beach doing their own activities for camp.”

-Luffy looked like a big kid, “Camp? What kind of camp?” you puffed out your chest a little bit, “Demi-god camp! We’re all here to enjoy the fresh sea air!”

-Robin lifted a hand to her lips, a soft hum leaving her, “I think I’ve heard about that. Camp Half Blood, right?” you beamed up at her, nodding, “Yup- we all came here as it’s safer compared to our world, and our parents can still contact us if the need us.”

-As the ship started towards the shore, to drop you off, Zoro spoke up, “Why is your old world more dangerous?” you scratched the back of your head, looking a bit embarrassed, “Not too many like us demi-gods, like other gods who don’t have any kids. Take me for example, Hera hates me because I’m the kid of Zeus, product of yet another affair. Hera’s tried to kill me I want to say… four times now.”

-Eyes were bulged, hearing this, Jinbei knew of the gods, who could travel between worlds, which made sense of why you were able to as well, and he knew of Zeus and his escapades.

-Once back on shore the other members of the camp were excited to meet some actual pirates of this world, ones that wouldn’t attack them, as they were all willing to spend time with you and the other kids.

-Chopper was quite popular with the girls who gushed on how cute he was, while Franky had gotten the attention of most of the boys for being a robot.

-You helped Sanji prepare the massive barbeque, to celebrate new friends between you, your friends, and the Straw Hats, and he taught you some techniques when grilling meat.

-The Straw Hats stayed for a few days, offering to teach the kids new things, like Zoro taught them how to use swords in a more effective way, Robin taught them about history and Nami with geography, and Usopp loved teaching the archery class, finding it fun and easy.

-You were sitting beside Luffy and Brook, swinging your legs back and forth, enjoying seeing all of your friends having so much fun as Brook spoke up, “I got to meet Athena earlier, she’s quite the woman yohoho- she almost attacked me when I asked to see her panties.”

-You winced lightly for him, “Yeah it’s lucky you survived- Athena can be intimidating.” Luffy grinned, wanting to meet your parent and you laughed awkwardly, “Yeah… Zeus has so many kids, he probably doesn’t know I exist. He doesn’t really care about us kids- just getting laid.”

-Luffy leaned his head on top of yours, surprising you as he grinned, “We can always come back when you’re older, you can join my crew!”

-Your eyes were like stars, glittering so brightly, “REALLY?!” you cheered loudly, making Luffy laugh as he promised to come back to get you and you promised to get even better at your wind surfing so you wouldn’t need to be rescued again, making the two of them laugh loudly as you all celebrated the future.

[turtletaubwrites]

can i request an extra scene of zoro x nami OR zoro x robin??? i’ve been LOVING the series i absolutely love your writing

Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰 In case you didn’t see the Zoro x Robin scene I posted a few days ago you can check it out here: In Control (2599)

Since Nami is ace in this series, I was hesitant to write any scenes with her. I’m working on a separate long fic for Nami, and was going to wait until then, but then I remembered that I am in charge of these imaginary worlds, so here ya go! Lol, this scene does not fit into We’ve All Got Needs, but here’s what would happen if Nami was interested in Zoro, and asked to have a night together. 

p.s. I really love these requests, so please feel free to send some more!

You Never Shut Up, Do You?

*(Fem!Reader is not in this scene, but Zoro is in a poly relationship with, and both he and Nami briefly refer to 'you,' or Y/N.)

Pairings: Zoro x Nami

Word Count: 1323

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

Ao3 Link

Summary: Nami has watched you enjoy your poly relationships with Zoro and Sanji for a while. She's got an itch that needs scratching, and she decides to see if Zoro can help her out.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Fem!Reader, 18+ Only, MDNI, Very Brief Reader-Insert, Smut, Polyamory, Dom Roronoa Zoro, Brat Nami, Face-Fucking, Vaginal Fingering, Rough Sex, Penis in Vagina Sex, Condoms, Orgasm Delay, Casual Sex, Friends with Benefits, Crewmates with Benefits

A/N: They're just so cute 🤭😅

“Come on big guy. I’d better be screamin’ like Y/N does, or I’ll want my money back.”

Zoro coughed, spraying sake across his lap as he sat on Nami’s bed.

“You didn’t pay me.”

“Gods, you're dense.”

Nami sat back on her bed, enjoying the back and forth. She’d watched you enjoy your multiple relationships for a few weeks now, and had finally gotten the nerve to ask if she could join the fun. Luckily the grumpy swordsman had agreed. 

He set the bottle aside after one more swig, then glowered at her.

“Do you want me to fuck you?”

“That’s why I’m here. Did you have other plans?”

“You never shut up, do you?”

She leaned toward him, tilting her head.

“Why don’t you make me? I could always go ask Sanji, I bet he’d-”

Zoro smashed his lips onto hers, and she felt a buzz move through her body. She might have squealed if he hadn’t shoved his tongue down her throat. 

Zoro still wasn’t used to being with other people. He was with you, and it felt weird. 

But, when Nami had asked, he felt a stir he hadn’t realized was there. She had never seemed like an option. And now he was finally shutting her up, and she was giving him cute, little moans as he tasted her sweet mouth. 

Nami couldn’t stop herself. It had been so long since she’d been with anyone, and she was shaking for him already, pulling at his shirt. Her fingers were skilled, but couldn’t compare to somebody grabbing her, moving her, taking her. Her eyes rolled back in her head, but he wasn’t moving fast enough. She pulled back from him, loving his swollen mouth and heavy lidded eyes. 

“What are you waiting for? I haven’t got all night.”

Zoro growled in her face, hearing the note of pleasure in her yelp as he started yanking at her shirt. 

“You don’t keep your mouth shut, I’m gonna to shut it for you.”

Nami’s skin was on fire as she pushed him, the thrill of making him snap almost better than his rough hands on her. 

“I don’t think you have anything big enough to shut my mouth up.”

There he is.

Nami just knew she could send him over that edge, and the look on his face made her moan.

“You’re gonna regret that,” he growled, fisting into her hair. He shoved his pants down just enough to free his cock, already so hard and angry. He stared at her for just a moment, and she gave a tiny nod before he forced her pretty mouth onto him. 

Nami opened wide for him, relaxing her jaw as Zoro fucked her face. He didn’t hold back, and now she was dripping wet. She loved how desperately hard she’d made him. Tears streamed down her face as he kept shoving her face down his shaft, using her, shutting her up. It felt fucking delicious. 

Zoro, had to force himself to stop, the way she fucking opened her throat for him was too fucking good. But he wasn’t ready to come just yet. 

He threw her onto her back, and pulled her shorts down, taking her underwear with them. 

Nami coughed as she tried to breathe, and then she managed to laugh. 

“Was that all you’ve got?”

Zoro leaned over her, eyes wide as he bared his teeth. 

“If you keep this shit up, you’ll be crying by the end of the night.”

Nami didn’t argue, but she raised an eyebrow. Zoro shoved two fingers into her so deep that she cried out his name. 

“That’s right, you fucking brat. Say my name again.”

Nami wanted to say something else, but she couldn’t say anything as his fingers curled so deep, attacking that spot inside her so hard it almost hurt. She curled her fingers into her own hair, eyes rolling back as he added his thumb to her clit. 

Zoro leaned close, breathing over her face as she writhed. 

“I told you to say my fucking name.”

Nami was so close, warmth and pressure building. She wasn't sure if she could have said his name or not when it hit. But then it didn’t hit. 

Zoro pulled his hand out of her, leaving her gasping, and almost hurting from need. She couldn’t help but whine, her body twisting to get close to him.

“Such a big mouth, but look at you now.”

“Fuck you.”

He grabbed her thighs, pulling her close to him.

“That’s why I’m here, right?”

Zoro tore the condom wrapper, dropping it on her chest while he towered over her. He fisted it down his length, rubbing his cock over her cunt, but making no moves to help her. 

Nami moaned, the pressure in her core building. She was so close. She needed him to finish, but she didn’t want to give in yet. 

“You know I won’t mind leaving you like this.”

Zoro’s threat came out in a rasp, and Nami cried out. Her hands reached down to offer herself some relief, but Zoro grabbed them, trapping them by her head. 

Nami pouted. 

Zoro wanted to ram his cock into her, to fuck that look off her face, but he knew it was what she wanted. 

“If you want me to fuck you, then you’d better say my name, and tell me you’re fucking sorry.”

Zoro let one of her hands free so that he could reach down, cupping her swollen, dripping skin. 

He watched her bite her lip, and his mind was begging her to say the words.

Nami felt drunk from need, eyes fluttering as she shivered. His cock was right there and she wanted it so bad.

Zoro moved his hand away, to replace it with his cock, rubbing his length back and forth across her folds, teasing her clit. 

Nami lifted her hips, trying to take him in, but Zoro shoved her down. He held her hips firm, so all she could do was take his teasing. She felt her core twisting, aching inside her, and she finally gave in. 

“I’m sorry, Zoro.”

Zoro lined himself up, quickly rewarding her by shoving his cock all the way, sheathing himself in her. 

He covered her screaming mouth with his hand and growled as he started pumping into her. 

“That wasn’t so fucking hard, was it?”

Nami’s eyes were streaming as she shook her head. The force of his thrusts was so intense, her body bucked with each hit. 

She couldn’t believe how fucking good it felt to get fucked like this. 

Nami’s eyes were rolling to the back of her head while needy little moans and sobs left her mouth, sending Zoro into a frenzy.

She was so wet, so tight, and the way her hips twitched for him made his cock swell even harder.

Zoro wanted to keep it going, but Nami was so hungry for him, she wanted his abuse so bad it made him dizzy.

He pounded into her until his legs twitched, and she dug her nails down his back.

There was no way to hold back when he felt her eager pussy milking him for all he was worth. His thrusts stuttered until he shoved himself so deep, groaning as he came inside her greedy cunt, still clenching him so hard.

He collapsed beside her, both of them trying to breathe.

Nami felt dizzy, used, and so deliciously good. She had needed that. 

She glanced at Zoro, glad she’d picked him over Sanji. Zoro had given her exactly what she’d been craving, and now she wanted to pass the fuck out.

“Thanks.”

Zoro turned, breath still heavy, and glared at her.

“Thanks?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you next time.”

“Do you think we’re done?”

Nami shivered at the danger in his voice, and now she was really glad she’d picked Zoro. 

Zoro leaned over to shut her up again. 

“We’re just getting started.”

Thank You for Reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

We've All Got Needs Masterlist

A/N: This was super fun! Let me know if you have more requests 😊

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

[project-sekai-facts]

Any opinion on Akito and Ena's dad ?

I don’t think he’s the best parent ever by any means, but I also think people often greatly exaggerate what he did to his kids. Both him and his kids have a pretty blunt way of talking and I think this is why they clash so often. The thing is, none of what he said to Ena about art being a terrible field of work to go into was wrong, it’s just that instead of trying to help Ena, he just told her she was talentless which like don’t fucking say that to your child??? I get that he was trying to look out for Ena but he just approached it in the worst possible way and ruined Ena’s mental health. He’s clearly been through it in his art career and doesn’t want Ena to go through the same, especially when she’s already struggling at a non-professional level, but he’s not the greatest parent going and clearly doesn’t know how to talk to his kids. He’s gotten better after Akito talked to him, but still has some work to do.

What I’m saying when people exaggerate what he did is that people tend to dial up the abuse to be more like Harumichi & Toya’s mother or Mafuyu’s parents and this is a very different case. Shin’ei clearly doesn’t know how to communicate with his kids and isn’t good at parenting, and I don’t think he meant to hurt Ena as bad as he did. He didn’t think she would be able to handle an art career and didn’t want her to get hurt, but he ended up hurting her more because he has dogshit communication skills. Yes, he still abused her and isn’t like a hugely present figure in her or Akito’s life (might be work-related? It’s never explained) but I don’t think he intentionally crushed her mental health and self worth. Considering one of his hobbies is camping trips with the family I think he actually does love his kids, he just isn’t a good parent.

It’s a very complex case because yes he did abuse Ena but it doesn’t entirely seem like it was intentional? Like telling her she was talentless was an intentional decision but I don’t think he said it because he wanted her to suffer emotionally for years, does that make sense? It wasn’t like Harumichi who made Toya practice past the point of injury and his wife who banned Toya from having any free time just because they wanted him to be a musical prodigy and live up to their expectations of their family (also Toya has older brothers who probably went through the exact same thing before him). And it wasn’t like Mafuyu’s mother who manipulates her daughter into becoming what she wants her to be and is fully aware of the fact she’s manipulating her, and then tries to manipulate other people on top of that to believe that she’s a good mother and actually cares about her daughter.

Shin’ei actually does seem to care about Ena and Akito and the fact that he does seem to try and change after Akito talks to him adds more proof to that. Harumichi hears Toya out and Toya isn’t scared of him anymore, and although he hasn’t really shown up much since Nocturne, whenever he does or whenether he’s mentioned there’s still this sort of disconnect between him and Toya still? Like he’s kinda just accepted that Toya rebelled against his expectations as an Aoyagi but you can tell he still doesn’t see eye to eye with Toya and probably never will. Hell, when Mrs Asahina is called out on her actions, she tries to manipulate the person calling her out in the exact same way she does her daughter. So Shin’ei at the very least tries to be better even if the improvement isn’t huge and I think a lot of people in the fandom miss that part? Like I consistently see people describe/portray him as far more intentionally malicious and hurtful and sometimes even physically abusive and he isn’t?? Yes he abused Ena and doesn’t seem hugely present in Akito’s life compared to like Ken, but how he abused his kids reads very differently to the other more notable abusive parents. I’ve already said it loads by now but the intent is different. And this is a character analysis and not an opinion

Uh yeah I think he’s pretty well written and I’d like to know a bit more about him but maybe I should invest in the fanbook for that. He’s very realistic like this is definitely something that happens a lot in real life. Some parents just aren’t good at it and don’t mean to hurt their kid but they end up doing so because they just don’t know how to care for them and communicate with them properly. He feels very human.

He’s a shit parent and I hope this doesn’t read like an apologist post because it’s not meant to be, like he drove Ena into a deep depression that’s fucked up. I just wanted to point some stuff out because I really like how he’s written and think he’s a pretty interesting character.

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 4: That’s Amorte

(There is no ethical consumption under capitalism)

Don’t read any further if you don’t want to spoiler your appetite…

My Favs

We got Morty back!

When the world was about to send out an Amber Alert on a missing kid, Morty decided to return to us! I’ve enjoyed the season so far but having Rick and Morty together is a stark reminder that the strength of this show is found in the dynamic between grandfather and grandson. Also, I love seeing Rick getting healthy and bettering himself, but I also love to see a Rick that’s amoral and a bit unhinged.

Facial animation:

I don’t know if this is due to the Irish animation studio they’re working with now, but I’ve noticed there’s a bit more diversity in the facial expressions compared to the last two or three seasons. Has anyone else noticed this?

They did a Soylent Green!

I predicted that this might have been a red herring seeing the initial clips and they might instead do something akin to the Universal Paperclip game, but a Soylent Green is what we got. Well, the idea behind the paperclip game is still on the table for next season…

Euthanasia, Cannibalism, and Suicide

Quite the trifecta of “subjects we don’t discuss in polite society,” but I admire them for taking the risk and weaving everything together well. Kinda surprised S&P let them get away with it.

“His dying wish is to see deader people so he can feel superior.”

Morty-O’s Suicide Spaghetti

“ Is this people or not people? I just need to know how much I should pretend to be upset.”

Oh, Jerry…

“They dyed their sun institutional gray.”

“Ooo gray areas. My specialty.”

Classic Rick

Kotomi’s cover of “Live Forever”

“Life itself is wrong and that means death is right. But you can’t side with that. So you live, even when it means eating.”

Not My Fav:

They could have gotten nastier.

This is my one small gripe in an episode that I think is fantastic. I’m confident there is an earlier draft out there that got so much grosser before S&P made their cuts and I demand to see that draft!

Release that nasty cut!!!

My Thoughts:

First my less serious thought, how in the hell did Rick find out that those people turned in spaghetti when they unalived themselves? My headcanon is that he has made a regular habit of impersonating a doctor on that planet because he sees doctors as nothing more than glorified mechanics, but for people. Rick knows he’s the smartest man in the universe and a proper scientist so practicing medicine would not be that much of a challenge and along the way he discovered this delicious trait about the Keplar people.

On a more serious note, there are two moments that really stood out to me. First, was when Morty broke the news of the spaghetti’s origin to the family and their reaction. They were angry and disappointed—in Morty for delivering the message rather than Rick for feeding them people-spaghetti. That spaghetti was amazing and brought everyone joy and they were more angry about losing their joy than the moral implications of consuming human flesh. Morty destroyed the illusion that they were “good” people and instead of actually being good people and refusing to eat the spaghetti, Morty created a work-around so that he and the family could still maintain the illusion.

That felt very realistic to how, dare I say, all of us have acted at some point, whether it’s the food we eat or that store that sells the jeans that fit perfectly or the online retailer that delivers anything we could possibly want the next day. Maybe, we find out someday that it’s not created in the most ethical manner and we rationalize it. We think, “ Oh, it’s not that bad.” or “ I can’t afford the more ethical option,” or "I have such few joys in my life I don't want to lose this as well.” It’s easier to uphold the illusion of being morally upright under a system that makes it exceedingly difficult to do so. But even if the capitalistic system is destroyed can we ever really be absolved? This leads to the second moment that stood out, Rick’s monologue.

“Life itself is wrong and that means death is right. But you can’t side with that. So you live, even when it means eating.”

My interpretation is that Rick is saying, “Life, by it’s very nature, is inherently unethical and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Even if the meat you eat comes from an animal that is well taken care of, killed as quickly and painlessly as possibly, and processed in a facility that treats its workers well and obeys all regulations—that animal still had to die in order to produce that meat. You’re a vegan. Plants are still living things and for many plants the process of getting food from them destroys them in the process. Millions of bacteria are destroyed every time you wash your hands. Life needs other kinds of life to end for it to keep going, but humans are the only creatures that are aware of this fact so we create arbitrary categories around which types of life are okay to destroy (categories we can’t all agree on) in order to maintain the illusion of morality.

This episode does not have a feel-good message among the jokes and absurd characters and I appreciate that. This one got my brain a-churnin’ and I’m sure I read way too much into this episode but I couldn’t help myself.

[catboybiologist]

Slightly late monthly journal!

First off, the spreadsheet has been updated:

Nothing too drastic here, especially compared to my initial growth spurt. But still… there’s so much, yet so little to talk about.

I’ve been on spiro for a longer time now, and recently increased my estradiol dose. Note that my levels check was before the increased dose- the dates aren’t completely coordinated (they are on my private spreadsheet for my own personal tracking, don’t worry). It’s looking pretty good. Testosterone is well within target levels. E is about the same, which is much lower than I would like it. My endo says that 100-200 is “minimally acceptable”, and wants to shoot even higher than that. That’s comforting, in a way- I’m the slightest bit frustrated that some changes aren’t happening too quickly, but that gives a very distinct avenue for improvement. Ultimately, I’m gonna switch to injection monotherapy, probably around the same time I start prog. So the big change is decreased T. What has that done to me?

First off, the hard measurements. There’s really no surprises here. I’m losing weight, which tracks with my general diet and an increase in exercise levels. It seems to be happening faster than normal, though. Which, is pretty easily explainable by a new variable in the equation: adderall. I started adderall in the middle of the month. I’ve used it sparingly, but everyone I know that takes it told me that weight loss is pretty much unavoidable. I’m certainly still above any point where my weight would be worrying, but I’m gonna have to keep an eye on it. Especially if I want fat tits. As for how the weight loss is happening, I’m very happy with what’s going on. My bust and hip measurements are holding steady, while my waist and underbust are still slightly going down. 

I do know that there’s another source of weight loss, however: muscle mass. With the increase in exercise level has come an increase in exertion for the same results, which has made me slightly dismayed. This is the main HRT effect that I was a little scared of. But honestly, I really only care about the muscle that helps me hike and swim- and if I maintain that better, I think it won’t be too much of an issue. I was never some pariah of physical condition, so I think with training I can even improve my hiking stamina. That’ll be very necessary with my future backpacking plans.

The main thing that I’m REALLY happy about is that, if I squint, I think I can slowly start to see the first hints of facial changes start to come in. They’re subtle, of course. A weird one is that my nose is literally straighter. Y’all don’t see it, but the reason I still shield my face (despite being easily identifiable at this point if you saw me irl and knew this account) is mostly insecurity about my nose and chin. My nose actually physically curves to my right when viewed from the front, and in general, is a huge, classic Roman nose. Looking at head on progress pictures, its actually starting to straighten out. I thought I was imagining things, but I checked in with a couple friends before and after pictures of several years on HRT, and yeah- their noses are different, usually smaller and more symmetrical. Saying that this is a huge relief to me would be an understatement. Additionally, I was insecure about my boxy jawline, but for some reason, it seems to work as a femme feature of my face now- I think slight cheek restructuring helps frame it better. Still not so sure how the chin is gonna turn out. But hey- I started HRT thinking that I would for sure need FFS to pass, but now, I'm far less concerned. I'll at least give it two years.

I’ve also gotten a lot of interesting comments. Several labmates and family members that don’t know I’m transitioning have remarked that my skin looks healthier, and I look younger. I’ve also had noticeable mental health improvement, so I think most people think I’m on some kind of self improvement kick. I mentioned skin care as part of that. We’ll see how long the excuse holds- probably a while, as the changes are so, so subtle at the moment. But shit, I’m only three months in. I’m thrilled.

There’s still no getting rid of my beard shadow. Even though the growth rate of my facial hair has noticeably decreased, the thickness of the basal hairs will always add shading to my face. When I started HRT, I thought it wouldn’t bother me that much until I was ready to socially transition- but tbh, it’s starting to look glaring to me. I’m looking into starting laser sometime in January, and hopefully that’ll help.

Which brings me to the emotional changes. Holy FUCK what a month its been. I’m not gonna expose all of my dirty laundry. But, a mixture of some long term anxieties and a few particular events led to a classic mid-20s “what the fuck am I doing with my life” crisis. One of those long term anxieties was a thought I’m sure many of y’all are familiar with: “I started HRT. Now what? How the fuck am I going to socially transition?”

For a couple days, I was very seriously considering quitting grad school and academia. I’m past that. Tragically, I love science a little too much. I do, however, need a break. I talked to my advisor about taking a hiatus, and he’s fully supportive of the idea. And conveniently, that also provides me with a clean way to simply disappear, and come back as a woman. A nice little break to allow me to socially transition.

But anyways. Here’s my big point here: if I went through something similar pre-HRT, I would’ve reacted completely differently. I would’ve shoved those thoughts deep and let them simmer as a general, background malaise that I would just stew in and suffer. Now? I cried. A lot. Actual fucking tears. I went through a few days of sharp sadness, and then actually fucking processed those emotions. What the fuck? That’s new. It’s insane. I wouldn’t have had the emotional capacity to that before. 

I’m elated. It’s wonderful. It’s a more than welcome change.

But yeah. Steady as she goes. Progress is a little stalled, but both me and my provider are adamant about getting that E up. And I’m still making slow progress as it is.

Very quick NSFW notes after this button.

The final note: sexual function. With the low T… yup, my downstairs functionality has decreased. My ejaculate is clear, and often happens without being fully erect. That said… there’s no way in hell that I would ever trade getting that back for what I have now. My libido is still comes in waves, and is crazy when it comes. The feelings I get from intimate situations now are incredible beyond belief. 

[bunji-enthusiast]

Hi!! How have you been? Hopefully things are going smoothly on your end <3

Redeemed! Scourge being jealous 👀✨ the healthy kind of jelly since he's now redeemed <3 idea is it could be ANY characters you want and reader bonding, Scourge might feel a little awkward to interrupt but also slightly tempted?? ( Say he's trying to be better ) So he's just kinda debating what to do, prob leave them alone out of respect but acts slightly grumpy throughout the day, whatever happens next is up to you!

Ty and good luck <3

Jealous, Jealous Boy

Note || hello friend, this is such an interesting one. I hope this was okay! ^^

WC || 930

This feels weird, he knows he isn’t supposed to act like this.

Actually feel the way he does for that matter, but who’s counting? Scourge sure as hell ain’t. He didn’t want to feel so jealous. When he saw you talking with Tails, for whom he shouldn’t even feel jealous of – it put him in a rather complicated spot emotionally. So he deduced the next best thing possible, which was to leave the two of you alone out of respect. Disappearing is an easy act for Scourge, but for so many, shouldn’t even be something to be thought of in the first place.

“Huh?” You looked up from your paper, hearing Tails’ verbal confusion. You raised a brow right as you were about to inquire what he was so confused about. Immediately without question, the fox pointed to the spot where Scourge had once stood, seemingly was there with you in the first place as he had accompanied you to go see Tails.

“I’m surprised I didn’t expect him to disappear out of thin air.” He says, turning to look back at you. You shrug and sigh, knowing how Scourge was–in a way–his effort in trying to be better in social situations and cues was commendable. Rather you thought he was actually improving, but now you have no idea why he had gone away.

One could only assume he possibly had personal business to attend to, yet many thoughts and possibilities had raced through your mind.

“Scourge is still a bit on edge,” You mention, a wince crossing your face as you continued, “All things considered with his history with you and the others.” He nods in understanding as he listens to your words, the young boy was none the wiser to such things; Tails could only hope Scourge will be able to forgive himself soon, as the fox already did.

But for once, he didn’t want to worry about the rebellious hedgehog. If he could even be called such a thing, but it felt correct — Less than so, but it was there in a sense. Scourge is and was kinder in the loosest sense of the word, it's even refreshing compared to his less developed sense of self before. Tails was rather surprised to see how much you managed to change him, just shows how much people and strangers alike can really change you depending on who you surround yourself with.

Tails knew, in a way. The situation with his father, he had only mentioned it in passing. He is unsure—besides you—if any of the others knew.

His paw reaches out to your arm, settling down upon it to prevent you from walking away. “You should take a break, I’ve got all the data I need.” He smiles, nodding at you reassuringly. He didn’t want you to fuss over the work he should’ve gotten done by himself in the first place, but he much rather preferred if you stuck with Scourge.

Tails can tell that you need it.

He needs it.

You frown for a moment, opening your mouth to refute his words. But the look on his face, had changed your mind. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer anyway, you could respect that fact. Tails can be rather fierce when needed to be, these were one of those moments.

Sometime later, you finally caught up with Scourge finding him at one of his usual spots. Uphill on a vastly different location from Tails’ Workshop. You wondered what he was thinking about.

“Hey.” You said with a softer tone, as you didn’t want to startle your hot-tempered… friend? You weren’t sure what to call him officially right now. Scourge scoffs, looking over at you to see you looming aside directly from him. The look in his eyes was one you didn’t expect, especially not in the long-run anyway. He shifted in his spot, shuffling aside to make room for you.

“Hm,” He sighs, deflating in place as you had laid your head against his shoulder. Scourge wasn’t against it, rather unexpected, but he could sense the touch as a safe one.

He could rest.

The location was Station Square, rather calm and bustling for the most part; but it was peaceful, quiet. Aside from all the sobering noise, you could tell the people and the city itself was very reassuring for Scourge.

“You were not there anymore.” You break the silence, finding it quite awkward for a moment as Scourge seemed to be surprised at the momentary notion. “Why?”

Scourge’s lips pursed, then curled into a frown, teeth sharpening and revealing themselves. His emotion was getting the better of him again. Slowly, he breathed in and out. One of the common and basic exercises he learned while he was in therapy. It wasn’t entirely helpful or clear, but it allowed him to focus — settle the nerves.

“Ain’t none of ya business.” He retorts finally, but his bite was there. At least that was a sure-fire thing of the situation you felt was unsettled, not anymore now however. You paused in the silence that followed, it seemed to be happening very often as of late.

“Believe me when I’m here for you, no need to feel sorry for emotions that are normal to feel.” You said, nuzzling your cheek into his own. Scourge flinched, then relaxed into your touch.

It was a while, but it was reassuring to Scourge.

Feelings were a fickle thing.

The jealousy waned and your heart was filled with the calm that had stirred Scourge to a sense of peace and relief.

“Thanks.”