sofia-gosth-blog

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is it gay or what

when they finally learn to start working together and dive straight to flirting

Superman The Animated Series S02E18 or The Batman Superman Movie World’s Finest

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Jason: ugh, I want ice cream so bad Steph: same. Do we have any? Jason: nah. We gotta get bruce to drive us to get some Steph: do you not have a motorcycle . . . ? Jason: she’s in the shop Tim: Dick, you’ve gotta be the one to ask Bruce Dick: uh, why do I have to? I didn’t even say anything Jason: youre the oldest. You never ask for anything to any time you DO ask for something Bruce says yes Dick: Dick: I feel like there’s something there I should be insulted about, but whatever. *walks into living room* hey, Dad? Can we go get ice cream? Bruce: ‘course, chum. Dick: Dick: *looks to Jason* you do I know I will be abusing this power, yes? Jason: I mean of course. It would be downright shameful if you didn’t.

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love to think about dick and jaybin brotherism if it was in the modern era. here’s a scene i’ve been rotating in my head:

*on a road trip for some reason*

dick (18): i’m gonna stop at the 7-11 up here, you want anything?

jason (13): yeah, a pack of marlboros

dick: smoking kills, you know

jason: and those zyns destroy your gums

dick: that’s different, i’m eighteen

jason: still not old enough to buy those things, you’ve got a fake id

dick: so what?

jason: do you think bruce’d be happy to know you buy drugs and alcohol with a fake id?

dick: bruce isn’t the boss of me

jason: he’s the boss of me, and you’re a bad influence. what would he say if i told him there were drugs in your car?

dick: there aren’t drugs in my car

jason, pulling a baggie of weed from his pocket and shoving it in the glove box: there are now

dick: …you’re getting lucky strikes, they’re cheaper

jason: YOUR DAD IS A BILLIONAIRE

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not only do i need battinson to have a robin, i actively need to 1. see him figure out How To Parent ™️ and B. see him fight for his damn life in trying to keep his new, beloved and wonderful child, from becoming a vigilante too and losing that battle no matter what he does like i need those opening scenes in the incredibles but bruce and dick. like battinson gets into the batmobile and gets jump scared by dick, in a homemade costume he made in secret like HI, B. LOOK I MADE THIS COSTUME ISNT IT COOL? LETS FIGHT CRIME TOGETHER :D and battinson has to stop himself from crying as he drives his son home

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I think it'd be really funny if the JLA members were talking about how they jugle parenting and being a hero and whatnot and Bruce enters and they're like 'no way this guy knows anything about this, children are probably terrified of him'

Barry: Oh yeah! Totally get that man, the other day I was looking after my nephew and my sister warned me he was in a gaming phase but I had no idea how long kids these days spend playing videogames

Oliver: My kids like sports better, I think. One time I asked to play mineart with them and they laughed at me

Clark: Jon's always playing that one!

* Enters Bruce in all his goth glory *

Clark: Oh, Hey Batman! Is it time for the meeting yet? We were chatting about our kids :)

Bruce: No. The meeting will be in 23 minutes.

Bruce:

Barry: Anyway... I mean... *clears throat *

Clark: So we can chat some more! It's always good to find things in common. You're welcome to join, Batman. :D

Barry:

Oliver:

Barry: Superman... I'm not sure Batman would have anything to contribute to our conversation

Clark: Why??

Oliver: He's just... He just doesn't seem like the type to like kids, that's all.

Bruce:

Bruce, looking at them with black shadow eyes of someone who never left his teen emo phase: I have five children

Clark:

Barry:

Oliver:

Barry: WHAT

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The one where Dick has zero concept of how the average person lives

I want a fic where Dick just has absolutely no concept how the average person lives. He went from being raised in a circus to being raised in a manor by a billionaire. His concept of what is expensive and what is totally normal is completely skewed. That whole meme where someone thinks a banana costs $10? He really does think a single banana is $10. He thinks fresh fruit in general is ridiculously expensive; it's a luxury. He just thinks Alfred keeps so much of it in the manor because Bruce is rich. He'll eat a single strawberry and think, "Wow, this is the life."

At the same time, he thinks having expensive suits/clothes is totally normal. His family's circus costumes were some of the most expensive items they owned because it was essential to their act. Similarly, he thinks Bruce spends a fortune on all his suits and clothes for galas and events because it's part of being CEO of Wayne Enterprises. Their Batman and Robin costumes are expensive because it's part of their job. Clothes are super important. Doesn't everyone spend $45 on a plain T-shirt? His Gotham Academy uniform alone is stupid expensive, and that's just for school, every student wears the same thing.

He doesn't think his top of line fancy as hell cell phone is expensive because Bruce gets them through WE. They're basically free. Dick gets a new prototype phone like twice a year. Never mind that Bruce owns WE, that's irrelevant. It's an essential item in this day and age. It can't be that expensive.

So when the young justice team is hanging out at Mount Justice and Wally complains about his phone being old and not working right or not holding a charge the same anymore, Robin barely looks up from his phone and shrugs, saying in a nonchalant tone, "Dude just get a new one then."

"Oh yeah, let me just go get a brand new phone," Wally mocks, scoffing. The sarcasm goes completely over his head.

"B gets me a new phone all time. Just ask your dad, dude."

Everyone stares at him. Even Conner, who somehow knows more about things like this than Dick does. Cadmus psychic education was good for something, apparently.

When Dick looks up, he's confused about why everyone is staring at him.

"What, dude?" he asks, not understanding why Wally is making so many faces at him.

"You are so stupid sometimes," is all Wally says.

"What?" Dick asks again. Then he sits up, a frown on his face. "What's that supposed to mean!"

"It means you have no idea how a normal person lives," Wally jokes.

"That's not true!"

"It's totally true."

"Rob, dude," Wally says slowly, gently, as if Robin is a dumb little child. "Yesterday, you called M'gann outrageous for using raspberries in one of her dessert recipes."

"She used the whole container of them!" Robin defends himself, his voice getting a bit higher. "For a tart she didn't know she'd even like!"

"Robin," Wally says slowly, folding his hands, "how much do you think a box of raspberries costs?"

Robin shakes his head, looking offended.

"I dunno, but it's expensive!"

"But getting multiple new phones a year isn't?" Wally scoffs.

"They're essential!"

"A brand new phone is not essential!"

"It can't cost that much!" Robin argues. "You're so full of shit, Wally, you're just being mean to me!"

"You're literally wearing a designer jacket right now," Wally points out, tugging at Robin's jacket. Robin pulls away from him with an even more dramatic frown.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Robin whines.

"It means you're a snob," Artemis snorts.

"I am not!"

"You have a brand new WayneTech phone that only came out on the market like a month ago," Artemis tells him, "and you're wearing a jacket that's more expensive than one of my textbooks for school."

"It's a book, how expensive can it be?" Robin scrunches his nose up, not understanding the argument she's making. They go to the same school anyway (not that Artemis knows that). It's a textbook. It can't be that expensive. He remembers buying plenty of books with his parents, and his mom always encouraged him to get several at a time. The fact that they were pre-owned and came from a bin had nothing to do with it, obviously. Books are practically free. Artemis is just being annoying.

Artemis just lets out a laugh, shaking her head at him.

"Robbie, dude, my best friend," Wally laughs, sitting down on the couch next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Who buys your clothes?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Robin whines. When Wally pokes at him and insists he just answer the question, Robin pouts. "Agent A buys them."

"Who goes grocery shopping?"

"Agent A."

"Who pays your school fees?"

"B."

"Who pays for your phone?"

"B."

"Do you actually know how much anything costs?"

Dick blinks behind the dark sunglasses he's wearing, tilting his head at Wally. He looks around and sees how the whole team is staring at him, amusement clear on all their faces, and he frowns at all of them.

"I'm thirteen!" he whines. "I'm not supposed to pay for my own shit! You're all so mean to me!"

He pushes Wally off of him and stomps out of the room, ignoring the way they start laughing and how he hears Artemis mention something about him being spoiled. He's not spoiled. There's no way.

He ends up going back to the batcave, and he finds Bruce sitting at the batcomputer, trying to figure out the link between a recent case and an old one they'd solved months ago. Dick drags his feet the entire way over to him, groaning and whining as he drapes across Bruce's lap dramatically. Bruce just chuckles, patting Dick's back, but letting him have his dramatic moment without interruption. When Dick turns to look at Bruce with a pout on his face, Bruce just raises an eyebrow at him.

"Am I spoiled?"

Bruce chuckles again, a little smile on his face. He pinches one of Dick's cheeks and laughs when Dick whines and swats his hand away.

"Maybe a little bit," Bruce admits. "But it's fine."

"Wally says I have no idea how normal people live."

"That might be true," Bruce says with a shrug, going back to patting Dick's back. "You went from one extreme to the other. But I don't think it's anything to be concerned about."

"The team was being mean to me for it!"

"Meh," Bruce hums, not looking bothered, "fuck 'em then."

Dick snorts, and Bruce looks down to smile at him, then they both look around to make sure Alfred wasn't around to hear Bruce swear. Alfred should still be upstairs preparing dinner. They're in the clear.

"Wally's phone is old and sucks," Dick mutters to Bruce.

"I'll give one to Barry to give him," Bruce says easily.

They're both quiet for a moment, Dick still draped over Bruce's lap, Bruce still looking through old case files. Finally, Dick looks up at Bruce and asks, "B, how much does a banana cost?"

"I dunno," Bruce shrugs. "Ten bucks?"

Dick nods his head. Good, good. They're in agreement. It must be right.

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DC Comics from February 1956!

Action Comics 213, Cover by Al Plastino.

Adventure Comics 221, Cover by Curt Swan and Stan Kaye

Batman 97, Cover by Win Mortimer and Ira Schnapp.

Detective Comics 228, Cover by Win Mortimer and Ira Schnapp.

My Greatest Adventure 7, not sure who made the cover.

Superman 103, Cover by Al Plastino.

Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen 10, Cover by Stan Kaye and Ray Burnley.

Wonder Woman 80, Cover by Irwin Hasen and Bernie Sachs.

World's Finest Comics 80, Cover by Win Mortimer.

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Owing to the Batfam's do it, or die trying attitude, they seem ridiculously competent to outsiders because their response to orders like hack the Pentagon/ learn to new an entirely new weapon/ learn a language to decent fluency during the refuelling layover? Easy.

But this also leads to stressful situations like:

Dick, waking up in the middle of the night and already reaching for his suit: "Who's dead?"

Tim: "You need to help me crack a mathematical problem."

Dick, groaning and flopping back onto his pillow: "Tim, buddy, I love you, but I am not helping with your homework at--"

Tim: "No! This is for a case. It's essential and I said I could do it."

Dick: "You did what?"

Tim: "I know, but it's been hours, Dick. So, less talking. It was proposed over a century ago and has sixteen incomplete possible answers. We can use those right?"

Dick: "Sure. Oh yeah, Tim. Mathematicians that spent their whole lives on it failed, but it's genuinely touching how much you believe that my illustrious past as a mathlete--"

Tim: "Dick."

Dick, sighing: "Let me grab a pencil." *moves furniture away to free up a wall* "Okay send it to me."

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a dad and his kid

long time no see?

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I really do like how Etrigan treats Klarion tbh

Usually its the 1,000 year old beefing with the 12-year-old protagonist in a series but with them it was the other way around, random kid just decides to beef with a demon and centuries year old man

Source:

Batman the new adventures episode: the demon within

The demon 1990

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Dick Grayson on Bruce Wayne in Batman (1940) #436 / Dick Grayson on himself in New Titans (1984) #113

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Happy Father's Day, Batdad

Bruce and Dick (Robin and Batman #3)

Bruce and Jason (Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) #3)

Bruce and Tim (Robin (1993) #163)

Bruce and Cassandra (Batgirl (2008) #6)

Bruce and Damian (Batman and Robin (2023) #6)

Bruce and Duke (Batman and the Signal #3)

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the JL probably stopped thinking that Batman was the greatest detective in the world like, the minute that any of the batkids started getting involved in team missions. they get to watch the Robins run circles around Bruce consistently and without hesitation and i bet they wonder how the fuck they ever thought he was untouchable.

*during a world threatening, all hands on deck emergency*

Batman: everybody understand the plan?

Flash: we’re good to go, on your word.

Batman: then lets get on with it.

Robin, picking up his katana: agreed, let us engage the enemy. and also real quick before we do, i have to tell you that i got suspended from school for two weeks for slamming another student’s head into a table. alright, lets go.

Batman, visibly doing a doubletake: -woah wait hold on, Damian-

Red Robin, scornfull: seriously B? you’re gonna get distracted and let THOUSANDS of people die, because of that little tidbit? what, and now i guess you’re gonna freak out because i got a DUI a few days ago?

Batman: YOU GOT A DUI-?

Robin: father, honestly, priorities.

Batman: i- uh-

The rest of the league, exchanging blank looks:

*massive explosion*

Batman: um- OK WE HAVE TO GO BUT WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER-

*after the fight, ten hours later, everybody is exhausted and covered in blood and dust*

Batman, wrapping gauze around Robin’s wrist: i… feel like there was something i was going to say earlier. regarding you.

The league, watching the Robins stay completely silent:

Red Hood, without blinking: yeah old man, you promised us all that you’d buy pizza on the way back to Gotham.

Batman: …i don’t remember saying th-

Nightwing: fucking course you don’t. first you forget to tell me my little brother dies until after his funeral, now you forget to feed me. are you gonna forget to invite me over for game night, too?

Batman:

Robin: *silently making an ‘a-ok’ gesture behind Bruce’s back*

Batman: …right. yeah. that must have been it. we’ll get pizza ordered to the manor.

Superman, leaning over to Green Arrow: do you think he’ll be ok alone with them? they’re kinda mean

Green Arrow: no i knew that man in college. he brought this on himself.

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Conversations of various Robins and Batman that the JL has overheard.

Dick as Robin:

Batman: "Don't touch that."

*gets ignored*

Batman (more desperately): "Don't touch that! Robin I'll ground you!"

Robin: *snorts and continues to reach for the very dangerous alien object*

Batman (floundering): "I- Catwoman's out of Arkham! And if you touch that I won't let you see her!"

Robin: *gasps and backs away from it reluctantly* "That's no fair! I wanna see Catwoman and touch the thing!"

Batman, crossing his arms and looking very stern despite the objectively ridiculous situation: "Well, you can only have one of those things."

-

Robin, starting to tear up and sniffle: "B-but I want to help other kids so t-t-they don't lose their mommy and daddy!"

Batman, deadpan: "That's not working on me, kid."

Robin, tears immediately drying up: "Was the mommy and daddy too much?"

Batman: *seesaw hand*

Robin, nodding: "I think I'll keep it to mama and papa - that usually works better."

//

Jason as Robin:

Batman: "Yes, Robin, your English teacher is an idiot when it comes to Shakespeare but that doesn't mean you can egg her car."

Robin: "What about her house?"

Batman: "That's actually worse than egging her car."

Robin: "Sooo, I should be allowed to egg her car because that's better than egging her house!"

Batman: "Should people be allowed to commit assault because that's better than murder?"

Robin, dead panned: "Isn't that literally what we do every night?"

(This one made Flash laugh so hard he pulled a muscle)

-

Robin: "B, I just met Toy Man."

Robin: "Is that REALLY one of Superman's enemies or was that a joke? Please tell me it was a joke. He's like a level two Gotham rogue - his shtick is toys, Batman, TOYS. And I thought the Riddler was stupid."

(Superman tried to defend his honor and was ultimately defeated by the meanest thing to exist - a teenager)

//

Tim as Robin:

Batman: "Robin, explain the voicemail I got from the school."

Robin: "Didn't they already tell you?"

Batman, frowning heavily: "Humor me."

Robin: "My math teacher was being a bitch so I took apart her calculators and hid the pieces around her room and in her stuff."

Batman: "Including her salad."

Robin: "Including her salad AND protein shake."

Batman: "She's could have choked and died!"

Robin: "But she didn't! And anyway in my experience, people are SO much more tolerable when they almost died recently! Take my dad for example-"

-

Batman: "Stop it."

Robin, grinning over his laptop: "I'm not doing anything."

Batman, exasperated: "Don't lie to me! That's your hacking face, Robin."

/

Steph as Robin:

Robin: "It's only glitter!"

Batman: "Three tons of it."

Robin: "... Did i mention that it's biodegradable so it's like totally okay for the environment! See, i DO think ahead sometimes!"

Batman, mumbling: "Maybe I should start putting glitter on your case files so you'll focus..."

-

Robin: "It's because I'm a girl isn't it?"

Batman: "Me telling you to stop putting sprinkles on your pasta is completely unrelated to your gender."

Robin, taking a bite of her pasta monstrosity and pointing the fork in his direction: "Misogynist!"

/

Damian as Robin:

Robin: "But i only THREATENED to stab him. I didn’t actually stab him."

Batman: "..."

Batman: "That's definitely progress but still-"

-

Robin: *cape starts to make a hissing sound*

Batman: "Robin.... What is in there?"

Robin: ".... Her name is Daffodil."

Batman, growing dread in his voice: "And what exactly is Daffodil?"

Robin, without misisng a beat and completely serious: "A beautiful young lady."

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The Robins meeting their future selves:

---

Robin Dick: So we didn’t kill the man that killed our parents?

Nightwing Dick: Ah, Damian was cosmic justice for what I put B through, got it. That makes so much sense.

---

Robin Jason, craning his head back and looking up at his older self: Oh, I became an asshole

Red Hood Jason, mentally: he's so small, how was I ever this small? When did I ever smile like that?

Red Hood Jason, verbally: Watch it twerp

---

Robin Tim: We are as bad as B was, and why are we still even in the cape business??

Red Robin Tim: first off, rude.

---

Robin Steph: So we finally wore B down completely?

Batgirl/Spoiler Steph, with a bat symbol on her chest: Didn't even have to get adopted like the other idiots

---

Robin Damian, disappointed, with sword drawn: We are the blood son of the bat, and heir to the al Ghuls! We shed blood for others, not heal it.

Doctor Damian, equally disappointed: Was I really the angry and tiny? No wonder Timothy didn’t take my murder attempts seriously.

---

Bonus, Duke:

We Are Robin Duke: We really get to work with the Batman? With the Robins? Wear the symbol?

Signal Duke, who has seen the disaster that the Batfamily is, but wants his younger self to have to suffer figuring that out for himself: Yup, we're the first day time vigilante too

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just bruce being oblivious to his children's relationship:

——————

Dick, cuddling with Wally on the couch in the family's den, whispering 'I love yous':

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Jason, bringing Roy home one day for a family dinner, hands never leaving each other the entire time:

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Tim, wearing Kon's jacket, the half-Kryptonian following him everywhere he go like a lost puppy:

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Cass, straddling Steph's lap and kissing her face:

Bruce: They are such good friends.

——————

Damian (18), literally getting caught making out with Jon in his room:

Bruce: They... hmmm. Are such good friends.

Duke, behind him: For fuck's sake, Bruce.

Alfred, probably, somewhere in the Manor: World's Greatest Detective my ass.