#//^ oblivious

[rb-bot]

⚡ How does your new boyfriend feel about the other two?

oh um!

i mean me and duncan and aren't dating anymore aaand with nero we're just taking it easy for now. my new bf is ok with that. he did mostly stay outside that time we went to duncan's place to pick up the car and he doesn't seem like he wants to go to nero's wedding (because i brought up that he might invite me) but he's mostly cool every time i talk about them

[noodles-and-tea]

Don’t worry, bud, Bruce will get it eventually…

[sparemoon]

Quiet cat gf vs loud dog bf

[untilsfe]

Sonic obliviousness is mostly harmless... Until mixed with Omega's blatant honestly

[inkedberries]

after patrolling, unwinding in a diner somewhere ...

throw the man a bone batman geez

[ID: A fancomic featuring Batman and Superman in a diner. Superman sips coffee while saying, "You know... I DO show off sometimes, only to impress you." Batman looks shocked before he narrows his eyes at Superman. "Impress... me?" Superman smiles, says "Mhm," and takes a long sip. Batman, frowning: "You're Superman." Superman throws up his hands and replies, "RIGHT? It shouldn't be this hard. Why are you making this so difficult?" End ID] described by @nebulations

[kkusuka]

pt. 2

your roommate was a strange man.

can you even really call him a roommate if he's only home for one week every few months? but when he is home, simon riley is a pretty good roommate.

he fixes the heater that's been broken for two months, he replaces the faucet after it drenches you for turning it on too quick, he even takes a look at your car when you mention how your breaks have been squeaking. but other than his penchant for whiskey and the color black, you really don't know much about the man you've been living with for more than a year.

he's in the military, you know that for sure. he works with a team because he tells you that you have a striking resemblance to a man names "soap"? you take that as a compliment even if he didn't really mean it to be one. he wears combat boots even when he's off, you buy him a pair for his birthday that he doesn't take off until soles wear out. but all of these are merely observations, you don't actually know anything about him.

and it's not like you don't try to find out more things about him. you search his name on google- nothing. you ask him about his social media- 'don't got any'. you never ask about family because he never brings them up. all you have is a phone number and the license plate on his beat up dodge charger.

so, getting a call in the middle of the night, three months after you'd last seen simon, about a mission taking a bad turn and simon taking a bullet for an american private. all you really manage to catch after that was the hospital's address and a room number to ask for.

you feel like you're in a trance as you pack yourself an overnight bag, then move to simon's room and just start grabbing the softest clothes you can find and a bunch of snacks from his side of the pantry, then you're off.

you didn't want to see desperate or overly worried about a man whose favorite song you don't know but you're pushing into the high 90s on your way down. and your mind isn't clear until you're standing in front of a tired looking nurse in sanrio scrubs.

"um, i need to get into room 1206?" you barely choke the words out before she's getting up to lead you, "oh! mrs. riley, they told me you were on your way."

"oh-i'm, well" and if you hadn't watch so many hospital shows where they don't let anyone but family into the room you would have just told her the truth, but you just shut your mouth, give her a tight smile, and follow her down the hallway.

the room doesn’t take long to get to, but the door is shut and you can hear the people inside talking. but the nurse doesn't even hesitate to swing the door wide open, "mr. riley, your wife is here."

and then there are four sets of eyes trained on you, but all you can look at is the hulking figure of your roommate sat up in his comically small hospital bed. and all you can muster up is a slight smile and a small wave in his direction before the bags you're holding fly straight onto the floor.

"oh, shoot- i'm sorry. i didn't know if you needed anything so i just grabbed some things from your dresser- and some of those granola bars you like, and there should be a gatorade somewhere in there. and, oh my god, i'm sorry, how are you? i came as soon as they called, and they said you got shot, and-"

"calm down, sweetheart, or yer gonna be the one that needs a hospital bed." ok, simon could still speak that was good, and he was conscious and remembered you.

"i'm sorry. i just got worried, and-" simon knew you well enough to know that you'll worry yourself to death if he lets you keep going, "nothin' to worry about, sweetheart, pull up a chair, you've 'ad stressful few hours."

you practically fell back into the chair that the man with the kindest brown eyes you've ever seen pushed towards you. and for the first time since you arrived, you took a deep, long breath. hand clasped in your lap as you take simon in.

"feeling any better, mrs. riley?"

"she's fine, garrick." 

'garrick' seems utterly unphased by your roommate's- husband's? you can address that later- tone and just continues to smile at you.

"c'mon simon, we just wannae ken 'bout the bonnie lass yer hidin' from yer pals. ye 'aven't even introduced us." you're glad the scot waited until you'd calmed down to start speaking because it took you at least 30 seconds to realize he was even talking about you.

"sweetheart these are the boys, boys this is sweetheart, now fuck off before you scare 'er away"

they didn’t seem like they were going to leave until the older man practically dragged them out saying something about the heaping loads of paperwork they had to do. so will a little wave and a cheeky smile, they were gone.

"so, um, ho-how are you feeling? they, uh, said that you got shot?"

" 'm fine, sweetheart, better knowing i've got a bird at home who'll come runnin' cause she thinks 'm hurt, yeah wife?"

yeah, maybe you'll let the mrs. riley thing go on for a little bit longer.

idk i just really like the idea of simon just picking someone random and being like 'yeah this is it, you're mine now' and they have literally no idea

[prlssprfctn]

Jason refusing to admit that Bruce and him are alike, while Bruce being oblivious to their raging similarity is the funniest case scenario ever.

Tim, waking up after a nap, and seeing a familiar big figure standing with his back to him: Hey, Jason.

Bruce, turning around, confused: Jason left an hour ago.

Tim: ...Sorry, you look like twins

Bruce, sighing: I wish. But we are not, really.

Tim: ??????

Some goon, shivering from fear: B-Batman, please, spare me!

Red Hood, leaving the shadow, even madder than before: Do I look like fucking Batman to you, man?

Goon: I-I mean, when you are standing in the darkness with your arms on your chest, and say "Now, talk"—

Red Hood, irritated: One word, and I am putting a bullet in your empty head.

Goon: Yesss, sir.

Damian, staring as everyone in the house first put cereal in the bowl, and then add milk, while Jason and Bruce demonstratively (and obliviously) do it in the opposite order in the perfect synchronisation: Why do they—

Alfred, shaking his head: Please, don't point it out, Master Damian. Either way, they will start arguing, and Master Jason will instantly teach himself to do it in the opposite way.

Damian, rolling his eyes: Whatever.

Dick: So, do you all know that Bruce and Jason refuse to admit that they are alike?

Everyone: (nod)

Dick, smirking: I fucked up Bruce's files and Jason's guns in the span of a minute...

Everyone: Why would you do that—

Bruce and Jason, from the opposite sides of manor, in the same furious voice: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON

Dick: ...Just to demonstrate to you THIS. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go get back to Blüdhaven.

[shoophise]

doodles

[noassamoas]

headcanon that alfred does not know what to get bruce for his birthday anymore, the man literally basically has everything. So, whenever he finds something that Bruce has lost, he hold onto it, and gifts it back. Everytime, Bruce is like “omg alfred, where did you find this?? Its been missing forever thank you ur the best”

nobody says anything whether they figure it out or not

[thebennyworm]

OMG THIS TOOK ME SOooo LoNg! I’M SORRY FOR ThE LOnG wAIT GUyS!!! 😫😫

[rooniearts]

i love this specific genre of sonknux where they're both really really stupid about it but in entirely different ways

[brucedefender4eva]

At the watch tower post reveal to only Green Arrow

Batman: *sitting on Green Arrow’s lap* …next time you take the roof that I tell you to. There was not enough time to tell you about the poor structural integrity.

Green Arrow: *very obviously not paying attention and bored out of his mind* Mhmm… definitely… you’re so smart Batsy…

Superman: *eyes glowing red, three seconds away from having an aneurysm* Hey Batman… I found some new Kryptonian features suddenly showing up, wanna study them? *all said through gritted teeth*

Batman: *perks up and looks visibly intrigued, standing up and walking over to Superman immediately* Really? What sort of new features?

Superman: *guiding B out of the room as he talks, throwing a heated glare over his shoulder*

Green Arrow: Hmm… for some reason… I think I’m in danger

[rookdaw]

[untilsfe]

Idk Shadow, with Sonic there's always a little bit of extra time for you

Of all the ways to make a reunion special, they had to choose the "shut up and kiss me!" kind of way

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[anyknotrants]

-in tha Batcave, the whole fam is there, training, working on a case or doing other shit-

*Bab's phone starts ringing*

Babs: *picks it up* oh hey Wally..... yeah he's here.... did he now?...... give me a minute

Babs, shouting: hey Dick|! Didn't you have plans for tonight?

Dick, hanging from a trapeze: ... not that I... know of?

Babs: oh really? *smirks and waves her phone* so I can just go and tell your boyfriend you're canceling your date?

Batfam: *stops what their doing* ??!??

Dick: *eyes widen* shit!

Dick: *jumps down and takes of to the door upstairs* I'll be right there! Keep him on the phone till then!

Babs: *cuckles and brings the phone back to her ear* do you beliave it?.... yeah, yeah....

Babs: *starts rolling towars the elevator* well, he put he in charge of keeping you company, so tell me....

*and she's off as well*

Batfam: .....

Tim: I didn't just halucinated that, right? She did say Dick has a boyfriend

Jason: you heard that too? Thanks fuck, I thought I was going crazy

Setph: you already are

Bruce.exe stopped working