#[ i unironically love jason and i will not be sorry about it ]

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hiiii!! I love your writing for the batboys!

So my request is Jason and Dick with a s/o and their like cuddling exchanging kisses relaxing and one of their brothers get them for a mission and see their brother (Jason/Dick) with their s/o for the first time. (Maybe the other batboy didn't know Jason/Dick had a girlfriend)

Okieee! Have a great day!

Dick

Cuddled himself into your side, burying his head into your neck, on the verge of falling asleep but not quite there yet as he hummed whenever you ran your fingers through his hair.

‘You like it when I run my fingers through your hair, you might as well be purring.’ You told him while giggling as he tightened his grip on your waist when he felt you shift slightly beneath him. ‘You’d like that wouldn’t you.’ Dick said sluggishly as he pushed his head further into your hand, impatient as he waited for you to continue running your fingers through his hair whenever you stopped briefly.

‘I would but you already act more than enough like a puppy regardless. I guess what they say about dogs and owners looking alike is more true in your case but instead of looks it’s personality.’ You said as you gently tugged his hair, causing him to groan as he then retaliated by deliberately kissing under your jaw and down your neck slowly as he could.

‘You think you’re funny don’t you?’ Dick asks against your neck.

‘I think I’m hilarious when you’re concerned dickbird.’ You gasped when you felt him nibble on your skin, ‘but you love me for it really.’ You added as he raised his head to look at you with a cute little pout across his tired face. You hated how exhausted he looked and so you had decided earlier that day that he was scheduled for some much needed rest, even going so far as to drag him to bed when he was too stubborn to leave a case for a measly five minutes just to eat food.

‘I do, love you I mean.’ Dick said softly as he raised his head to kiss your lips as you hummed happily against him, just as the door to his room swung open.

‘Alright dickhead, time to-‘ Jason looked up to see that he had clearly instructed something and instead of leaving he decided to stand in the doorway awkwardly as he cleared his throat.

‘I didn’t know you had company in here.’ Jason then said.

‘What do you think I normally do?’ Dick asked his younger brother as he shrugged his shoulders.

‘Piss us about usually.’ Jason replied almost casually that you couldn’t help but chuckle at the sibling spat. ‘Now I’m sorry to cut your lovers embrace short but we need to go, preferably now because I don’t know how much longer Tim and Damian can remain together in awkward silence.’ Dick sighed and kissed your cheek as he begun to pull himself away from you begrudgingly.

‘Sorry peanut, I promise you I’ll cuddle you as soon as I get home.’ Dick said when he saw you pout, hand tugging at his shirt which only made him want to say fuck it and stay in your arms, but he knew he couldn’t leave Jason alone to deal with Damian and Tim the entire night without them unironically pissing the other off somehow. ‘For now I’ve got some siblings to keep away from killing each other, so keep the bed warm for me yeah?.’ He adds as he cups your face and kisses you on the lips, nose and forehead.

‘It’ll be cosy and warm when you come home, that and probably smelling of dog too.’ You said as you kissed the space between his brows, cussing dick to smile and relax beneath your lips, he didn’t want to leave, he really didn’t but he knew that when he did come back it’ll be all the more worth while.

‘That’s fine by me, sweetheart.’ Dick replied, completely ignoring Jason who was wondering how the fuck you managed to deal with his brother for as long as you have.

Jason had you cosied up to his side as he continued to read a book he has been meaning to catch up on for a long while but couldn’t in due to the random spikes in crime as of late.

Which unfortunately meant that quality time between yourself and Jason was short lived. So when you were finally able to have Jason by your side for longer then an a few brief moments, you were bound to leap at the opportunity to cling onto him and smother him in kisses, much like you were doing now across his jawline and down his neck.

‘Miss me that much chipmunk?’ Jason asked with a smile as he paused his reading to rear his head back, allowing you further access to his neck, smiling to himself as he felt your lips caress his skin pleasantly. Jason was very much in need for affection after going without it for far longer then he might’ve liked, especially when most days it seemed as though your affection was all that helped Jason in getting through the day; and being deprived of such was a different kind of torture for Jason when he had finally gotten accustomed to it since the start of your relationship.

‘I did,’ you admitted, kissing his pulse on his neck before pulling away to smile up at him, ‘but with how tightly your holding my waist, I’d say you’ve missed me just as much jaybird.’ You added cheekily as you gestured down to the hand that was gripping your waist almost protectively with a playful glint in your eyes.

Jason scoffed as he then tugged you closer to him, making sure to rest his forehead against your own as he spoke, ‘I did miss you chipmunk, I’m not ashamed to admit it because most days it seemed as though you were the only thing keeping me going most of the time.’ He smiles sweetly at you as he kissed your forehead, you closed your eyes and leant into his touch happily, finding bliss at long last.

Only for the door to Jason’s room to burst open. ‘Jason! Are you ready yet Damian’s- oh.’ Dick stoped mid sentence when he noticed you cuddling up to his brother’s side.

You and Jason looked at Dick, who seemed frozen on the spot with his sudden stillness and unblinking eyes, before looking at each other.

‘Is he…okay?’ You whispered to Jason, concerned.

‘He’s fine. Dick’s just being…well a dick.’ Jason replied as he picked up a pillow and threw it in Dick’s direction, ‘Paging dr dickhead.’ He adds as the pillow hit dick square in the face as you slapped Jason on the bicep. ‘Be nice to your friend? Brother? I don’t know-‘

‘I didn’t know you had a significant other Jason!’ Dick exclaimed, completely forgetting what he was doing there in the first place as he smiled widely at you both.

‘And there’s a good reason for that.’ Jason growled as his hand on your waist tightened.

‘So they’re the reason you didn’t want to come out on patrol tonight?’ Dick continued as he made himself comfortable on the edge of Jason’s bed. ‘Who knew my little bro Jay jay was in love.’ He teased and he tried to pinch Jason’s cheeks, only for Jason to smack it away with a grunt, dick shrugs as he played on his stomach and kicked his legs. ‘So tell me how you met, leave no detail out of it.’

Needless to say dick has to be dragged out of the room by the scruff of his neck by an agitated Jason as he dropped him off with Damian, who was sharping his sword, and said ‘he’s your problem now.’ And went back to his room to you to cuddle.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine

Someone you know gifting you with a piece of merchandise of your Slasher S/O- not knowing of course that you are actually in a relationship with said Slasher.

Imagine sipping your morning coffee out of a mug with Michael's mask on it and not saying anything about it... and he's just across the table staring at you... waiting for an explanation you refuse to give. Because no- you don't want to talk about it. But your friend gave it to you and they were being very thoughtful and so goddamnit you're gonna use it!

Imagine running out of clean clothes so you're forced to fall asleep in the over-sized black t-shirt with 'Its Prime Time, Bitch!' splattered across the front in red and green font and as soon as you see him you're just like no. not a word from you. Secretly you unironically love it.

Imagine being gifted with one of those cutsie little Jason figurines (A Pop maybe) and you set him on your window sil. If Jason ever saw it he would be confused as hell but would love it eventually XD He's Big Jason and this is little Jason.

Imagine on a cold day you go to the Sawyer's house wearing a cute yellow beanie- Bubba only notices that its to do with him at all when you turn around on him for whatever reason and he sees a little chainsaw covered in blood sewed into the back!

Imagine making Billy and/or Stu drinks one night with ice and all is going fine... until he/they look down into the drinks and notice the ice blocks are in the shape of the Ghostface mask!! You're just like look. my friend got me these ghostface ice moulds and they're neat as hell so just shut up about it.

BONUS!Imagine your friend getting you an actual Chucky doll. You come home with it still in the box just knowing you're gonna get a mouthful from the real Chucky about this but you're so so hesitant to throw it out- because you're friend spent a lotta money on it for you!! So sorry Chucky but I guess you're gonna have to live with it XD

[cinemasteves]

Quit

(based on the song by cashmere cat & ariana grande)

eddie munson x female!reader

notes/warnings: lots of sadness, cheater!eddie, manipulation, gaslighting, mentions of kissing/sex (not super detailed) reader, eddie & the rest of the older group are all the same age!

not my gif

One week. It's been one week since you found out Eddie had cheated on you. Heartbroken is an understatement. The pain and betrayal you felt has been eating at your brain and heart all week long. Every night you cried yourself to sleep wondering what went wrong. He was your everything, and you thought you were his, that is until Chrissy Cunningham broke down crying and confessed to you in the school bathroom. Her words replaying over and over every night.

I'm so so sorry y/n, I was under the impression you guys were broken up, until I saw him kiss you in the hallway earlier. I just went to his trailer for some pills one night and it escalated from there. You don't deserve this. I'm very sorry.

♪ And you say that I'm the devil you know and I don't disagree no, I don't see the harm ♪

And of course when you confronted him after school, he denied it like no other.

I don't know what she's talking about, y/n. Why would you believe her of all people? She's part of Jason's clique, he hates me, he definitely put her up to this.

But that was quite the opposite. Chrissy was unironically the only cheerleader who was nice to you, hell she was nice to everybody. So when she told you about her and Eddie, you knew she was being genuine.

Seriously what has gotten into you? It's like you fell into hell and came back the devil himself. You've been stressing me out all week long, I need to focus on the DND campaign, i'll probably call you later.

But that night when he called you, your worst nightmare came true and he ended up confessing.

Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance.

And you did. But everybody knew something was different. The constant pda was now basically nonexistent, you stopped going to Hellfire meetings, you didn't hang out with the group as much and you barely talked to everyone.

♪ They say, 'you crazy, just leave him, he'll suffocate you' but I wanna be in your arms. ♪

You couldn't take it anymore and eventually told Nancy while you guys were studying together one afternoon, she was not happy.

Y/n...That's not okay! You should've never taken him back. I'm sorry. You deserve the entire world. Please leave him, it hurts not seeing you around us anymore. I will gladly tell Steve not to invite him around anymore if that would help. Staying with him will make you more and more miserable, we all notice it, you seem suffocated.

But you still didn't listen.

Nancy we were together for two years, I can't let him go just like that. I love him.

♪ They say, 'no, don't pick up the phone, let them think there's nobody home' But I'm under your spell.

Cause when you call my heart starts to roll, I always want more

It's my heaven, my hell. ♪

As the days went by, you went into super hermit mode. Not speaking to anybody in the group, including Eddie, and that's when you realized Nancy was right. Your usual light has been dimmed, shut off even because of him. It was Friday, and you knew Eddie would be at Hellfire after school and Wayne at work, so you called their home phone and left a rather choked up message.

Eddie, I don't think I can do this anymore. It hurts me to act like everything's fine when it's not. I am incredibly broken inside and have been for the last week. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night wondering what went wrong. I'm tired of trying to act put together around all our friends when i'm not. I love you, but I can't keep putting myself through this. Please don't call me after you hear this, I do not want to talk to you from this point on. It's for the best. Take care.

After leaving that message, you called over Nancy, Robin and Steve as your parents were away for the weekend, and as soon as the three of them walked into the door, a group hug ensued between you and the girls and you burst into tears. Realizing Steve was completely clueless, Nancy pulled him to the side and explained it all. He was livid. Nancy and Robin brought pizza and some drinks to help get things off your mind. But as you drank throughout the night, you found yourself crying in Steve's arms. He was close with Eddie, and the closest thing you had left of him.

As if it was like clockwork, your house phone rang and you immediately knew who it was.

Y/n...do not answer that. Steve said sternly.

But once more, you didn't listen and as you got up to pick up the phone, the three of them just sighed, awaiting the outcome of this call. As you answered the call and hit speaker, you hear sniffling on the other end and your heart immediately sank.

Sweetheart... I am so sorry. I don't have an explanation as to why I did what I did other than I'm a fucking idiot. But seeing you like this is breaking me so much inside. I'm full of fucking regret and shame. You are my everything and I fucked it up so bad. God, I wish I could take it back. I'm so sorry for everything. For cheating, being hostile towards you, pushing you away and just making your beautiful personality do a complete 180. I know you said not to call but I need to hear your voice, it's killing me not hearing from you.

You stand there speechless. Nancy and Robin silently stopping Steve from getting up and slamming that phone against the wall.

Can I come over? Please? Eddie cries.

♪ We're heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet,

But I can't hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine. ♪

Nancy, Robin and Steve leave. Steve more angry than the girls, but he understood that this was all up to you. You heart racing as you wait for the man you've been avoiding, cracking another beer and chugging as you pace back and forth near the front door. After about five minutes you hear the doorbell ring and you toss the empty beer can to the ground to open the door.

Eddie sees you and his heart shatters. Your mascara running down your cheeks, your eyes puffy and face red. Guilt washing over him like a tsunami. He can't believe he's done this to you. His once upon a time, the girl of his dreams, a now ruined mess. All because of him. Tears form in his eyes as he engulfs you into the hug you've both been needing from each other. Your head against his chest, hearing his heart beat rapidly. He holds you tight in his lanky arms as you sob together.

♪ I can't quit you, I can't quit you

I can't quit you, I can't quit you ♪

You so badly want to take him back, but deep down you know what he did wasn't right and how it would be for the best to part ways. Part of you wants to dismiss that, but you know you have to do what's right. For the both of you.

♪ Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

I know I'm gonna regret it ♪

You continue to sob, realizing that by tomorrow this would be no more. No more cozy movie nights, no more baking desserts together, no more cuddles, no kisses, dates, no more doing all of the things you both loved to do together.

♪ When you said, 'Baby, I just want you to lay me down and we'll fuck the pain away'

'Cause skin on skin, I feel nothing but the burning of desire and that's just foreplay ♪

He picks you up and brings you to the couch, laying you down gently as he gets on top of you. The both of you still sobbing together. His tears fall onto your cheeks as his face gets closer to yours.

Can I please kiss you sweetheart? Please, even if it's the last time I get to.

You thought it was impossible for your heart to break even more, but what he just said proved you so wrong. He knew this was the end. You nod yes as you can't even produce coherent words at this point because you're crying so much. He leans in slowly, pausing when your noses meet, holding your face in his calloused hands and places kisses on the apples of your cheeks before hesitating at your lips.

I'm so fucking sorry. He cries as he finally presses your lips together, his thumbs rubbing against your face.

♪ We're heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet

But I can't hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine

I can't quit you, I can't quit you

I can't quit you, I can't quit you ♪

You don't want the kiss to end, hell, you don't want the relationship to end, but you know it's better to just savor this moment than to keep destroying your mental by staying with him.

♪ Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

I know I'm gonna regret it ♪

Kisses led to soft touches and eventually, sex. He was gentle and slow, your favorite. As soon as you were done, he helps you put your clothes back on, then his own. The sweet gesture making you melt inside, forgetting what he did a week ago for a few seconds. You so badly want to stay with him, but there are consequences to cheating, and you know the relationship won't be the same ever again. The thought of going from lovers to strangers physically hurts you inside, and you begin to cry again as Eddie sits up against the couch staring up at the ceiling trying to hold back tears.

♪ I can't quit you, I can't quit you, oh baby

I can't quit you, I can't quit you, oh babe ♪

So this is goodbye then, right? His voice cracks.

Yeah. You cry.

♪ Gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it ♪

He takes a deep breath as he stands up, still holding back tears as he walks to your front door, you following behind him. He turns to you before opening the door and hesitates for a second before giving you one last hug.

I'm so sorry sweetheart. You will forever be a part of me. I love you.

I love you too. Goodbye Eddie, please take care of yourself. You said wiping your tears as he nods and kisses your forehead and turns around, leaving your house for the last time.

♪ I'm gonna regret it

I'm gonna regret it (babe, babe, babe)

Gonna regret it

Yeah, I'm gonna regret it. ♪

[fryingpan1234567]

I’m not sure if ECLIPSEWXTCH has a tumblr, but their cop/ mafia(??) au is fire and I’m writing some stuff for em

kidding they do in fact have a tumblr @eclipsewxtch

(characters in the book are all in their 20’s dw)

Griffin—focused post sorry he’s my fav character I’ll do more later

~

Griffin is the type of person who unironically listens to Doja Cat

(Also P!ATD and Harry Styles)

And yet his favorite song is Stacy’s Brother by Mad Tsai (then again it’s all their favorite so)

We could talk about how, while it’s pretty fuckin difficult to get him drunk, when he’s really sick he acts like it

Some people are confused by Bruce and Griff and Finn’s affection with each other. It’s just because they’re so close, and have been for their whole lives, and literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about showing those kinds of emotion. That’s a deadly combo

Yeah, they’re cops

Yeah, their morals are grayer than freaking dolphins rolled in ash. It’s a skill

At some point, when Griffin finally decides to let Billy fuck him at work, they’ve been making out for a while, B goes “I’ve had this dream,” with a drunken smile and Griff deadass goes “keep dreaming” and turns and continues working on the dead body two feet away because he’s a little shit like that

Billy was traumatized

Robin and Vance laughed at him for it later

Griff is also the type of person to binge Disney movies for like six hours, suddenly get bored of them, and switch right over to Deadpool or Saw or some shit and his energy doesn’t change At All

Speaking of horror movies– Finney and Bruce are shivering under a blanket, covering their eyes every time something remotely scary happens, and Griffin laughs every time someone is stabbed or killed

The first time Griff showed up to work in a skirt, 90% of his coworkers mysteriously had to leave with nosebleeds

It’s canon but. Billy is OBSESSED with Griffin’s thighs

No seriously that boy is down bad

Like if they’re cuddling or something and his legs are in reach, Billy’s hands are on them, and if Griffin has to shift, he will deadass complain about it and beg him to switch back 

(“no you asshole my legs are asleep we’ve been sitting like this for forty minutes” “pleaseee pretty boy” “NO YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE”)

Bruce would never tell anyone but Vance, but he absolutely had crushes on horror movie killers like Michael and Jason and Ghostface. He got so into true crime, he decided he wanted to devote his life to it, just… on the other end of the spectrum

Finney Blake loves sushi but can’t use chopsticks for the life of him. I said what I said

Griffin redoes his hair every couple months, when he goes back to get it cut– Billy’s personal favorite will always be red, but he’s a sucker for blue and pink and purple as well (really any color jesus this boy has it BADDD)

Sometimes Griffin will walk into work, blowing obnoxiously loud bubbles with his gum, and when he leaves, Billy is trailing behind him, mysteriously blowing his own pink bubbles with a shit-eating grin, Griffin’s nowhere to be found

Finn and Robin probably have the least toxic relationship of the three, aside from the lying about real names from right off the bat

Okay side note I genuinely Can Not Tell whether or not Griff and Finn and Bruce are going to make the other three better or Vance and Billy and Robin are going to make them worse because it could TOTALLY GO EITHER WAY

Not to spoil too bad, but Griffin is a little shit who smokes weed and will weaponize his looks to manipulate people into giving him what he wants

Finney is willing to hear out ANYONE if he thinks they’re speaking from the heart, and he will absolutely not hesitate to shoot somebody if they piss him off

Bruce has kept both dead bodies sent his way by the stalker hitman in some way– pictures of the guy, little bird preserved perfectly in its box. Also manipulates like a boss

Basically core Slytherins who do good only because it offers better pay and are THIS CLOSE to losing it and killing someone for mildly inconveniencing them

Billy, as I’ve said before and IN CANON, is absolutely fucking obsessed with Griffin. So obsessed, in fact, that he had to get closer to him in both personas just to see him more often. We know he’s not a total douchebag from the fact that he lets absolutely no sexual assault happen anywhere near his organization and only sells drugs for the money, not because he enjoys it

Robin liked Finn enough by, the first time they met, HID A BODY FOR HIM, and the second time let him patch him up after a fight and let him drive his fucking car, even when he knew something was up because Finn’s hair and eyes were totally different from the first time

Where do I even start with Vance.

My man killed somebody and made a biiig mess and delivered it as a gift to a poor boy he made out with in an elevator once and decided to stalk. He knows where he works and where he lives. If Bruce asked him to kill, he’d do it again, zero hesitation, and then turn to him looking for approval like a puppy. He’s almost as bad as Billy, if not worse

SEE WHAT I MEAN? IT COULD LITERALLY GO EITHER WAY. THEY’RE ALL SO MORALLY GRAY THE COPS COULD TURN BAD OR THE ACTUAL CRIME BOSSES COULD GET BETTER AND EITHER WAY WOULD MAKE COMPLETE AND TOTAL SENSE

See I could in fact write forever. But I am in class and I’m supposed to be doing this assignment that was due two days ago so✌️✌️ cya

[brighteyes-things]

Batboys and TMNT 💕

Summary: basically a pairing of which batboys and TMNT would be best buddies, inspired by the TMNT and Batman crossover movie

Note: some of the TMNT characters will also include Venus (idw), jennika (idw), and April o Neil. These are head cannons so if you don't like something that's fine no big deal.

Please enjoy, also sorry it's been a while since I last written something lots of family drama happened 💕

Dick Grayson 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I pair him well with Michelangelo

Now hear me out on this one first okay

Like yes him and Leo are both leaders but dick and Mikey would VIBE on sight

Both are big goofballs and rays of sunshine that struggle with trying to help out their team

They're both the glue of the family that always wears a smile to keep everyone happy

I feel like they also play video games together at like 5 in the morning and have the strangest food for breakfast

They talk about their crushes together too

Prank wars all week long

Overall I feel like they'd learn something from each other too

Like dick would learn how important it is to let loose and have fun with his brothers and how to let his stress out in healthy ways

And Mikey would have more respect for his big brothers after watching dick take charge and struggle to get the mission to be a success

They love their brothers to death and will do anything for them

Both hide emotions from siblings too

They vent to each other over pizza

Ice cream kitty and bite-wing get along great

Jason Todd ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

This was probably expected but Jay and raph are best friends your honor

Both have anger issues they refuse are there

Both have beef with the blue themed brother (aka dick and Leo)

They'd be gym bros and challenge each other to weight lifting competition

Both have badass girlfriends they simp over (monalisa and Artemis)

Now to the serious life lessons

I feel like together they'd figure out how to handle their anger and channel it into something else

Raph would learn how to be careful from watching Jason strategize everything on missions

Jason would learn that it's ok to let out emotions from raph because his friends will be there for him

Would call each other "bro" unironically

Both have a love for motorcycles and playing vigilante

Overall I think raph and Jason would be each other's biggest supporter

Tim Drake 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

Donatello and Tim are lab besties

Both have insomnia and a unhealthy addiction to coffee

They are also the brains of both groups

Tech geniuses

Donnie being impressed with Tim's detective skills

Tim being impressed with what Donnie made out of scrap he found in the trash

Both of them being very close to snapping on whoever walks in the room next

Neat freaks with everything else except their work area

I feel like Tim lets loose more around Donnie because he doesn't have to put up a act due to Donnie being too smart and knowing what a fake smile is

Donnie coming out of his shell (pun intended) around Tim and his friends and learning to be more social

They speak geek to confuse the others

They stay up all night plotting on how to build real life star trek equipment

Them both questioning how Bruce has so much in his utility belt

Damian Wayne 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Him and Leonardo would be a duo

Damian and Leo both struggle with a lot of pressure to be perfect

Leo struggling to be the perfect leader and protect everyone

Dami struggling with learning how to be good and trying to be perfect and bury his assassin past

I feel like Leo would take him in as a little brother immediately

Damian respecting Leo and his skills and wanting to know how he did it

Leo telling Damian about how he made a lot of mistakes and that it's ok to make them especially as a kid

Long meaningful conversations over tea parties

Damian actually calling Leo by his first name and not "turtle" like he does the others

Damian learning how to be a kid by watching Leo goof off with the other turtles

They have big brother and little brother energy

Both happy they use swords and will spar each other

Leo calls Damian "little guy"

Damian secretly doesn't mind the nickname

BONUS CONTENT

Barbara Gordon 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Her and April o Neil are girl besties

But specifically April from 2003 TMNT show

Both are the first girls in the group of boys

They're the only ones with common sense and more than two brain cells

Are like the big sisters of the group

Both completely rock the color purple in my personal opinion

I feel like they talk about they're crushes as well and have girl talk when the guys are on patrol

Babs learns how to be more girly and laid back from watching April because it's the first friend she's had that is a girl and doesn't try to kill her

April learning self defense from Babs and being more of a badass

Both being mother figures to Damian and Mikey

Are always picking up after the boys

Sleepovers every single day complete with romance movies and gossip

Just let them be girls together and have fun being bff's

Overall they need to meet ASAP

Stephanie Brown 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Steph and Venus de Milo

But like specifically Venus from next mutation (I know she's hated) and from the many many head canon stories I read as a kid on Wattpad but this works for idw comics Venus too

They're both the most forgotten about female characters that are actually really badass

Both are dated or shipped with the brainiac of the group (Donnie and Tim)

Have a somewhat child like personality and just want to have fun

Everyone kinda hates them for being the first at something.

Venus being the first female ninja turtle

And Steph being the first girl robin and taking Tim's spot

Steph would be amazed by Venus and inspired because she wouldn't feel so alone about being a girl in action

Sure Steph has Babs and Cassandra but her and Venus went through similar experiences

Venus being glad to have another girl to talk to and help her understand earth lingo and catchphrases

Gossip to each other about the boys

Both feeling like they have to earn their spot on the team even after already proving such

Low self esteem besties

But they'd also be chaotic besties on missions no doubt

Cassandra 🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶

Her and jennika would tramma bond

Both are badasses that need hugs

Started off on the wrong side at first but ended up being heros

Jennika being her big sister figure

Cass showing jennika her dance skills from ballet

Jennika playing drums for Cass

They both went through similar things and experiences

Both were trained to be killing machines and lost someone close to them and found the path they needed to go on after fighting for their lives

Jennika teaching cass about meditation and how to read emotions and what to say if someone is sad or angry

Cass showing Jenny that she's more than just her mutation and scars

Both of them hanging out on rooftops and eating fast food while they talk about life

They need each other your honor

I just really want them to bond

[breezeinmonochromenight]

You know I fully expected to dislike House of Ashes because I dislike the 'modern military main cast' trope a lot and the setting didn't appeal to me that much either but I actually ended quite enjoying most of the characters and the story.

Trust me, I felt the same way. Like. My sibling and two long-time friends are/were marines and I don’t speak to any of those mother fuckers anymore for good damn reason — they’re absolutely intolerable lol. So while these games have become a yearly tradition for me, I wholeheartedly expected to want most if not all of the cast dead by end game.

But yeah. Color me thoroughly surprised. The game was pretty good as a whole, and I don’t think some of the reviews calling it the series’ “Resident Evil 4 moment” is wrong tbh. Salim was the first surprise — and not because they made an “enemy” of the rest of the cast a main character. That’s kind of expected given the theme of the game that’s established literally 15 minutes in. It’s just refreshing that’s he’s actually a very fleshed out, very human character that’s easy for almost anyone to empathize with, and you just don’t see that shit very often in horror. Usually you end up with the Until Dawn crew, except unironically stereotypical. 

That’s the reason why I was so personally shellshocked by Jason — a character who I immediately began plotting to kill off from the very first time he spoke — actually undergoing such a good and believable character evolution from such a shitty, entirely unlikeable starting point (again, in a horror game, no less). The fucking Jigsaw killer couldn’t even get that kind of growth out his victims lmao.

I think my biggest complaint about the game, though, was the writers falling into the trap of making the love triangle into a defining personality trait for Rachel/Eric/Nick. It looks really… half-assed, especially when you compare it to Jason and Salim’s writing. I feel like you could have been hinting at it only to reveal if later in the game as an attempt to throw a wrench in that whole ‘enemy of my enemy’ theme and spent more time developing them as individual characters*.

I said this a while back, but if they kept this up, then I’d totally be down if they ever decided to move away from horror with this type of game too.

Idk. I’m rambling lol. Sorry. But yeah. For the most part, very surprised and impressed by this one.

*As an example of what I mean: Eric has the opportunity to actually fuck over Nick at the end of the game, seemingly fuck over Rachel by cutting the rope, and has more potential deaths than any other character, so you could have had like… idk… Eric’s prosthesis (which seemed weirdly played up to amount to as little as it actually did) come into play. Maybe you could have given him the prosthesis as an out against Clarice or something (since that’s an instakill on him), but in the process it gets fucked and he’d have to potentially rely on Nick/Rachel at some crucial moment at the end of the game or something. But if he’s burned his bridges with one or both of them, then he’s totally fucked.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

can you write christmas headcanons with the batboys, the batgirls, and bruce? like setting up the apartment/house and baking blablabla

✦ a/n — I’m writing this with the holiday celebrations as a secular thing in mind.

Bruce Wayne

Bruce honestly doesn’t have enough time to set up the manor, but he makes it up to you by actually helping you choose the decorations.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s enthusiastic about it, he’s just busy. And he makes as much time as possible for you and the family.

Bruce enjoys baking for the holidays. I’m sure that’s one of the few activities he enjoyed as a kid when Alfred tried to keep his mind off how sad the holidays would be without his parents.

December is like Gala Time™︎ so the season is hectic for everybody at the manor. Never a dull moment is spent at that house.

And he likes it that way. I think Bruce prefers the erratic nature of having the entire batfamily around him throughout the festivities, it’s a reminder that he isn’t alone even though he feels like it sometimes.

He goes out of his way to get everybody a special gift. Alfred helps, of course, but Bruce takes his time to give his input and think about them.

Dick Grayson

You find out he’s a good singer while decorating the apartment. He starts by whistling and then he’s full-on belting while singing different Christmas songs.

He claims he isn’t a “Christmas guy” but he enjoys the cheer the season brings. He finds it contagious. (He sooooo is a Christmas guy, but don’t tell him I told you.)

Dick’s less impulsive throughout the holidays because he doesn’t want to miss any party or event.

Really indecisive as to what to get his family for Christmas. He low key panics when it’s time to choose Damian’s present.

You will never get Dick Grayson to bake. I’m sorry, but he’s a menace in the kitchen. He also hates measuring ingredients.

Buuuuut, he’ll happily watch you and keep you company. He might take place in decorating cookies. They don’t turn out that pretty, but it’s a blast.

Jason Todd

Setting up the apartment with Jason is really fun. And he can reach anywhere so he does all the hard work.

However, when you get to the Christmas tree it isn’t as fun anymore.

You see, Jason is very protective of the people he loves. He loves you very much. And Christmas trees are a fire hazard.

He’s almost ready to throw out the tree but he can never say no to your puppy eyes. So he agrees. And he turns into a clean freak because “artificial trees collect dust and that makes them a fire hazard.”

I have this headcanon that Jason is a great cook and I also think he’s a great baker. The apartment usually smells amazing, and it smells even better throughout winter.

Don’t tell Alfred, but Jason’s cookies are the best in the world.

Tim Drake

I see him as somebody who’s really into the festive season.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” he says, unironically and with a sweet smile on his face.

Colors everywhere, stockings, mistletoe, ornaments... decorating the apartment takes you a few days because neither of you can decide how much is too much.

Not much of a baker, but he’ll give it a try just to have some festive fun.

He’s an expert at wrapping gifts. Seriously, he does it quickly and without a struggle.

I think everybody from the batfamily enjoys doing charity work around the holidays, but especially Tim.

Damian Wayne

I’m certain Damian didn’t grow up celebrating the holidays to the same level westerners did, and he probably started tolerating them in his late teens.

That being said, he prefers simple decorations. Too much color is headache-inducing and he thinks it doesn’t look good when a pallet isn’t being followed.

Tease him about how colorful Robin’s suit is and he’ll send you the deathliest glare you had ever seen.

Damian takes decorating cookies very seriously. And he’s a really good artist, so as expected, his cookies are gorgeous.

Never take him Christmas shopping, please, the world isn’t ready for that catastrophe. He does all his shopping online and he always knows what to buy for everybody.

Expect a gift that could only be considered as a lot. Damian doesn’t know what a small present is — or if he does, he chooses to ignore the concept.

Duke Thomas

The two of you slow dance surrounded by the Christmas lights when you’re done decorating the apartment.

Movie marathons are a usual thing for you, and they only get more frequent as the holidays approach because there are a lot of holiday movies and he loves most of them.

The entire month, he tries to take a peek into what you buy in case his gift is there. Sweet Duke doesn’t know you bought his gift earlier because of that specific reason.

He tries to get you to spill what you bought for him. Mostly with spontaneous kisses. He makes it reaaaaally hard to keep the secret, but you manage.

He’s a decent cook, but he cannot bake to save his life. He can bake pre-made stuff and even that turns out burnt sometimes.

Look, he’s busy rather often and he can’t remember everything he has to do — that includes that there’s good in the oven. BUT IT’S OKAY, HE’S CUTE, NOBODY’S PERFECT.

Barbara Gordon

Babs gets you matching Christmas sweaters for every occasion. You don’t know where she finds the ugly kind but she manages to get her hands on some atrocious stuff (in a fun way.)

The two of you most likely spend Christmas Eve at her family’s. She’ll be okay with visiting your family too, and will probably try to bring something special to charm your parents.

She’s already charming as she is, but festive!Babs is 100x more charming.

You have a tradition of giving each other awful gifts on Christmas Eve and good gifts on Christmas Day. She switches it one year and it’s chaos.

So. Many. Cute. Photos. Together. Dressed as elves, as Santa, as reindeer; with your Christmas sweaters; on your pajamas; dolled up for a party... you could fill an album with photos exclusively taken on the holiday season.

Christmas Day is for cuddling and eating candy you found on sale.

Stephanie Brown

Picture her in one of your sweaters, stretching her arm to teach the top of the tree so she can do the finishing touches. She’ll refuse your help, but will kiss you as soon as she’s done as a thank you for being helpful.

The two of you host a small holiday party at your apartment and the preparations are the most fun you’ve ever had.

Like finding Christmas markets in Gotham is hard and the city is awful sometimes, but the process is fun and Stephanie’s excitement makes it even better.

And the party is a success. Your friends are there, and your girlfriend is so happy because the apartment feels so much like home that you can be comfortable with hosting parties.

Instead of baking cookies and being a cute couple by smearing royal glass over each other’s faces only to clean each other, you have a gingerbread house competition.

It gets messy, and Steph laughs throughout the whole thing. Nobody wins, but it’s fun, and it isn’t particularly cute, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Cassandra Cain

Like Damian, she didn’t grow up celebrating the holidays as westerners do.

Cass isn’t the most open person in the world. She tries, but it’s hard for her sometimes. She makes more efforts around the holiday season. As cliche as it sounds.

If she’s spending the holidays with the batfam, she partakes in the family traditions Bruce has set up for everybody.

If she’s on her own with her S/O, I see her doing chill stuff. The two of you cook your favorite food and watch movies the entire day, perhaps indulge in a bottle of mauled wine or something of sorts.

She’d be okay with going to your family’s Christmas celebration as long as you also get time for yourselves later.

Cass will give you hands down the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received. She’s observant so it’s hard to hide things from her and that means she knows exactly what you want or need.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

[river-bottom-nightmare]

For some reason BirdFlash gives me the look like nerds but are actually jocks vibe while JayRoy are the look like jocks but are actually nerds vibe. TimKon is the classical jock + nerd and since this came to my mind I can't unsee

At first sight, birdflash gives off STRONG nerd vibes. wally’s actually known throughout the school for his science achievements, trophies, and awards. you don’t stand a chance against him in the science fair, don’t even try. and dick went to a fancy rich prep school where he scored some of their highest grades. just because he doesn’t like school doesn’t mean he isn’t good at it. and whenever they see each other in civvies, wally’s chattering on about this experiment he’s doing for fun and it seems like dick actually understands what he’s talking about, not just nodding along. and with a single visit to wally’s school, he revolutionized the tech department with a few careless suggestions. but really, that’s just their individual interests. wally might like science, but his entire life is running. he trains and trains, both with and without the speedforce. along with being trapped in that thing for years, wally’s pretty sure the reason he’s the fastest speedster is because of his strict track and cross-country training. and no matter what the circumstances, dick’s always happiest when he’s in the air. he possesses a natural athleticism that leaves others in awe along with skills finely honed to perfection for years that very few others could even hope to achieve. the two of them are long and lean and strong, and are in complete control over their bodies. they play different sports for fun, give each other leg warmers, socks, and water bottles for holidays, and go on early morning runs. the two of them are sports culture to the max (i actually made a post about that here)

now jayroy give off just the jock vibe, maybe even running into punk territory. first of all, lets get this out of the way: BICEPS. two of the biggest pairs of guns you’ll ever see, i swear. roy’s got a cocky smirk and he wears threadbare tank tops with dumb slogans on them and he never takes that trucker hat off. he makes his way into the basketball game going on at the courts on the bad side of town with a laugh. he squares up his fists for a fight any time there’s a hint of action. his nose is crooked from all the times its been broken and reset. not to mention his tattoos. and yes, roy loves lian with his entire heart and cares for her with everything he has, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a teenager. now jason, jason just looks the part. he’s huge, and built like a goddamn brick wall. those muscles gotta be used for something, right? he’s always wearing those fingerless gloves, but his knuckles are constantly bruised anyway. you stop and take a double take anytime you see him when his lip isn’t split. almost everyone’s seen him with a gun. but he also spends his free time reading literary classics. his bookshelf is crammed full of old paperbacks, with everything from Frankenstein to Wuthering Heights to Farenheight 459 to The Importance of Being Earnest. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy is a guilty pleasure of his. And he’s not just flipping through them either. no, he reads them. poking plot holes and other criticisms faster than a bullet. character analyzations sharper than his jawline. a lecture about the problem with many contemporary and modern novels longer than his dick. yea, jason devours those novels, and can tell you about all of them. as for roy, he’s inventive. always tinkering, always fiddling with a piece of tech, always creating. whether it be a new set of trick arrows or a coffee machine that spits out poison darts of a toaster that has 56 settings or a goddamn bazooka. he loves building stuff with his own two hands, a messy bun on his head, grease on his face, goggles shoved over his eyes as whatever he’s making sparks to life in his hands, bested only by the strike of pure creative passion in his eyes. textbook definition mechanic and geek, and we love him for it.

timkon is definitely the classic jock + nerd pairing. the only problem is that they always switch which is which. kon drapes his spiked leather jacket over tim’s shoulders when he’s cold, and later on at football games, tim cheers kon on wearing kon’s varsity jacket. but tim dropped out of high school because he has “better things to do” while kon just genuinely enjoys learning about stuff. kon does need help with his homework, so he calls tim, who always gives kon the math formulas he forgot the empirical formula of a compund that he doesn’t feel like calculating while simulaneously working on a couple other cases (he bounces his theories for a certain homicide off kon). but half of tim’s closet is made of sports jerseys for his favourite teams that he wears completely unironically even though they practically dwarf him, and he drags kon to all of their games while cheering and hollering, screaming at the tv when he can’t be there live,,,,and it’s not just one sport,,,,,nooo he’s got a good many he’s completely emotionally invested in. tim steals kon’s shirts so often that he just starts giving them to him, and dear god there’s almost nothing kon loves more than seeing tim wearing his clothes, looking tiny and misleadingly delicate and his. but tim carries around a skateboard and uses it practically 24/7, and one afternoon was spent teaching kon how to use the thing, including lots of laughing and falling over and steadying hands on waists, before a break at an ice cream parlour was followed by a sugary kiss. so yea, timkon is jock + nerd culture, with both of them being the jock and the nerd (also sorry anon i know you were thinking of kon being the jock and tim being the nerd, and honestly that’s how i usually view it too, its just this particular idea popped into my head and i had to write it) (also for timkon, i usually go for skate culture, and my hc for that is here)

ok wow this got a lot longer than i expected. i was shooting for a couple lines about my ships, and ended up with a whole new hc list instead. ooooof. tag list: @comicsandhoney @birdy-bat-writes @astroherogirl @anothertimdrakestan 

[bioodorange]

||Pastas on Halloween||

I'll make a part 2 if y'all wanna see anyone else

X-Virus

Cody would play an actor at one of those haunted houses

Were talking huge, multiple attractions and long ass lines

A personal HC, Cody is bomb at SFX makeup

He'd have a fun time before hand, half dressed up and helping people he worked with get ready

He'd do it with normal people because with the pastas its cheating

He'd do the same one every year and make friends through it

Start planning months ahead with everyone and leaving at random ass times to go set it up

He'd have a souvenir each year

And he'd sell overpriced tickets to those he didn't like

Even if he likes you this shit ain't free

Wouldn't let ANYONE see his makeup or costume outside the other workers for ultimate scare factor

All would be going well until he gets fuckin socked by one of the kids

Their mom would apologise like "omg I'm so sorry I kn-"

And he breaks character gets up with a huge smile on his face and laughs his ass off

"nice one" and offers a high five

Very into Halloween and very hard to upset him during this season

Masky

Claims to not be super into it

Like ew why it's just a holiday??

But spends 3 hours looking for the perfect costume at spirit

Would casually rob a Walmart for all of the candy

And on Halloween just has the stupidest grin on his face

Like his reason for being happy just halloween

That's all he says when someone asks

Takes great pride in the pumpkin he carved

Yes he dragged brian to get it with him

he MIGHT try and bake the pumpkin seeds

He has a mental list of good and bad horror movies

One comment from Brian about how he always changes his opinion and he writes it tf down

The next morning around 8:30 am

SLAM

Brian, confused "Tim what the fuck is that-"

"Everything" "What the hell does that mean?"

"you said I change my opinion a lot so now it's all here!" "What the h-"

"yes it is color coded, thank you for asking"

"how long did this take you?"

"16 hours"

Radiates proudly in dumbass sleep deprived energy

Laughing Jack

So as expected he likes halloween

dUh

Since this dude loves children

He would definitely have fun with this Holiday

He would go to like a preschool before halloween and just fuckin watch those little parades they have kids do

Like where they go around the school In their costumes

He'd roast the shit out of them

And everyone else too

He'd give so much tips like what you could do to make it better

But wouldn't tell you how to do so and continue to put you on blast

He thinks spirit is overrated and insists on making his costume himself

But he'll do it in the like two days leading up to halloween and will get very feral with anyone who interrupts his work

He likes trick or treating but not with people so he'd have like Jason and candy pop go to different rooms in the mansion and give him candy

For like 5 hours straight

He'd stab the candy on his fingers like a shish kabob

He'd also murder anyone who eats a KitKat by biting into it

Even though he's a weirdo who chews ice cream and swallows cookies whole

Homicidal Liu

So Liu feeds like stray cats and other animals in the woods

He feels bad because theres shit like the rake out there

But he would dress every single animal up

And spend like all afternoon taking pictures off them

He isn't one to dress up, it isn't really his thing

He'd wish he could hand out candy because he wants to see like all the kids cool costumes and stuff

Would low-key murder a fuckin spirit of Halloween attendant so he could have their job for a day

He'd go to Costco and get all different kinds of candy and leave out those little "take one :)" bowls like out and about

Now when it's like later at night he'd go around beating people up who like kill black cats because apparently Halloween is oh so horrible

Also in the few days after halloween when people start returning their black cats and stuff he takes all is them home to the mansion

And eventually slender makes him release them or keep them in the basement

Everyone got annoyed of dying cat noises coming from his room at 2 am

I feel like Liu wouldn't be a fan of horror movies

But he'd be totally down to watch the originals like Hocus Pocus, Halloween Town and Monster House

He is a fan of Tim Burton

His favourite movie is the Corpse Bride

Ticci Toby

He fucks pumpkin

But no Toby is a big fan of fall

And halloween!

He really likes M&M's

Chewy candy is hard to eat with the gash in his cheek

He'd suck all the colored covering off of the M&M and spit it out

He'd do this to all of them before eating them

If you watch a horror movie he insists on eating all the half popped popcorn kernels

Toby would be a fun of funny slashers like Child's Play

He'd be the one dude who'd spoil wtf was gonna happen during the movie

And get a shit ton of popcorn thrown at him

He'd get a lot of criticism for how his cosplay was innacurate

"his hoodie has thicker stripes then that like co"

Yeah uh then he'd bite this bitches finger-

Toby unironically barks at people change my mind

For his costume he'd probably go to a smaller local business to support them

He'd get dressed up as Dracula or something a classic but a good one

Jeff or something would make fun of how he could see Toby's fake ass fangs through his mouth gash

Then Jeff would get fuckin socked in the face

Don't mess with this bitch when he's excited about Halloween!

Jeff the Killer

He also fucks pumpkins

His worst nightmare see those Jeff the Killer morph suits at spirit Halloween

He'd get his costume from fuckin hot topic or something

He'd post youtube make up tutorials on how to look like him

Ben would get mad cash from filming Jeff raging when he got demonetized

He'd spend like 20 minutes getting his hair in a wig cap only to realize he didn't need it for his costume

He'd be into really shitty candies like tootsie rolls and black licorice

He'd get curb stomped by LJ for biting right into a fuckin KitKat bar

Very adamant on kidnapping children

That is until he realizes how annoying they are

"what do you mean you have to e a t" "no shut the fuck up and e- NO I DON'T CARE IF IT'S COOKED" "OH MY GOD SHUT UP"

Jeff releases the children and now refuses to hangout with ben

Simply because of how small and feral he is

He'd go around scaring kids for revenge and taking the fuckin candy they drop

[knuffled]

just practice - chapter twelve

thanks for reading! i promise i didn’t mean for it to be so angsty, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions or whatever the idiom is. anyhow, i hope you enjoy it, and it would mean a lot if you took the time to reblog or comment on AO3! i have been replying to every comment chapter 8 or 9!

read on AO3

The January sky was gray. It was not late, but darkness had already fallen. Snowflakes fell in a flurry, only briefly illuminated when passing beneath a street lamp. It collected on the roadside and turned to slush beneath the wheels of cars passing by. There was something about driving in the dark that had always appealed to her. Something about the gentle whirring of the motor, the luminescent lights on the dashboard, lurid in their juxtaposition with the velvet dark, and the effortless way the wheels glided against the tarmac had a way of putting her at ease.

The scenery was similar to the night of New Year’s Eve but duller. Grayer. The image of Percy, wreathed in a halo of moonlight, arose again unbidden in her mind’s eye, but there was no sight of the moon tonight. The clouds had seen to that.

She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the not-kiss. Ever since that night, the sense of lack had never left her. It carved a hollow for itself in the center of her chest and consumed anything that trespassed its event horizon. Like a black hole, not a void.

Annabeth had spent nearly everyday agonizing about the feeling and what it meant, but it defied any attempt to be known. All she could decipher was the sense of dissatisfaction, like hunger, that gnawed at her, but there was no urgency to it. It merely sat there, an immovable object. She found it grating, but not enough to where it compelled her to act. So she tolerated it.

She pressed her lips into a hard line and pulled into the Seneca Falls high school parking lot. She was late, like always. Percy’s meet had started nearly a half-hour ago. Annabeth stepped out of her car and ducked her neck behind the collar of her jacket as she jogged to the front door.

It was dark inside the school. Only half of the lights in the hallways were lit, and those that were flickered erratically. Annabeth followed the signs posted to the wall, guiding her to the pool. She was baffled by the fact that it took her nearly five minutes to find the pool, at the far end of the building. But eventually she drew close enough to hear the noise of the crowd rumbling from behind closed doors.

Annabeth opened the door tentatively to peer inside and was immediately accosted by the smell of chlorine. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. There was a heat going on. She prayed that it wasn’t Percy’s. Otherwise, the entire drive down to Seneca Falls would have been for nothing. Annabeth craned her head further inside, trying to make out the competitors, but she was too far away to tell.

When the heat ended, she released a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding and slipped inside. On her way to the bleachers, she scanned the crowd and felt a rush of relief when Piper waved to her from the fourth row. She had to squeeze past a family to reach Piper, and the seat was uncomfortable when she sat down. The screwheads dug into her thighs, making her grimace.

“Please tell me I didn’t miss Percy’s heat,” Annabeth said.

Piper popped a cheeto in her mouth and shook her head. “Nah, you’re totally fine. Want some cheetos?”

Annabeth shook her head. “Those things have texture like cardboard.”

“More for me then,” Piper said, shrugging. “I was worried you weren’t going to show.”

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. “I just had some stuff to deal with after school, and then it started snowing like crazy outside so I had to drive slower than normal.”

“Is it that project or whatever for Mrs. Dodds’s class? Jason has been complaining about it all week,” Piper asked.

Annabeth shook her head. “Taking AP Chem with that harpy is like getting your fucking teeth pulled. I just needed to review something for the english paper with Edmonds.”

Piper sighed melodramatically. “Still, so diligent. Truly a model student.”

“Fuck off.”

Piper balled up her now empty bag of cheetos and shook her head incredulously.

“I seriously can’t believe you aren’t feeling even a little bit of senioritis. Jason’s like that too. A pair of freaks, the two of you are. Mayhaps it has something to do with the fact that you’re both blonde. Seems to give one a proclivity for masochism.”

“I thought that the fact that we both unironically enjoy running stupidly long distances would have tipped you off about that by now,” Annabeth said lightly.

There was a pause before Piper cleared her throat conspicuously and said, “So what’s new with you, Annababe?”

“That was a real smooth transition there, Pipes,” Annabeth said.

Piper rolled her eyes and said, “Fine, you win that round. Happy? We can go back to the part where you were answering my question now, please.”

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but there’s nothing new on my end,” Annabeth lied.

“How are things going with Percy?”

Annabeth snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you going to ask me that everytime you see me?”

“Yes, now spill.”

“You know? You can be a real piece work sometimes, McLean.”

Piper threw an arm around Annabeth’s shoulder, grinning, and pulled her in close to press a kiss to Annabeth’s cheek, making her scowl.

“I bully you out of love, darling.”

Annabeth gave her a weary look. “So you admit that it’s bullying.”

Piper waved a hand dismissively. “Semantics, shemantics.”

“How come you never harass Percy like this?” Annabeth grumbled.

“Oh, I do,” Piper said brightly. “All the time, in fact.”

“Really? And what does he say when you do?”

“He usually comes to me on his own, funnily enough,” Piper said pointedly. “Though, I will admit that it has been a while since I’ve had the chance to have a proper talk with him.”

“I know this might boggle your mind, but some people appreciate privacy, Piper,” Annabeth said, rolling her eyes.

Piper opened her mouth, undoubtedly to say something clever, but Annabeth’s attention was pulled away by the fact that Percy was lining up in front of the pool. Three of his teammates stood in front of him, and it took Annabeth a moment to figure out why.

“Wait, he’s doing a relay?” Annabeth asked. “I thought he was doing freestyle, like always.”

“Fuck if I know,” Piper said, shrugging.

“State is next month,” Annabeth said, frowning. “What is he doing?”

Although Annabeth knew how intensely he practiced, she was still taken aback by his decision to not compete for the event he was doing at State: freestyle. She tried to glean some insight from his body language, but she found herself quickly distracted when Percy interlaced his fingers and stretched his arms away from himself, making the muscles of his upper back flex in response.

All at once, she found herself hyper-aware of the fact that practically all of his body was up for display. Her face flushed immediately, but she couldn’t force herself to look away. She’d seen him compete at meets countless times, but there was something different now.

Since when had his shoulders been so broad? How had she never noticed the beautiful curve of his spine or the sharp line of his jaw when he set it in concentration?

Over the years, Annabeth had heard her fair share of vulgar comments made by girls in her school about Percy’s physique. It wasn’t uncommon for many of them to show up at swim meets just to ogle at him. She had always found their behavior disgusting and objectifying. More than anything, it angered her that people talked about her best friend like that without even knowing him, like he was just a slab of meat. Annabeth had even snapped and chewed them out for it on more than one occasion.

Now, however, Annabeth couldn’t help understanding where those comments had come from, even though they were repulsive. She could no longer deny the fact that her best friend was gorgeous, even when he stood among other swimmers. Some of them were more physically impressive, sure, but Percy was imposing in his own right, trading impractical bulk for something more lithe and graceful. The untamed intensity that competition teased out of him was just the cherry on top.

Annabeth caught herself staring and immediately felt nausea and self-loathing rolling through her. She was acting like a fucking creep.

“Well, that might be the first time I’ve ever seen you checking Percy out so shamelessly,” Piper said, smirking.

Annabeth turned to her sharply, her face prickling. “I-It feels gross. Like I’m one of those groupies that show up at his meets just to perv on him.”

Piper snorted and said, “Annabeth, you’re nothing like them. You actually know him, for one thing. Besides, it’s not wrong to check out your boyfriend, you know.”

Annabeth mustered an uneasy smile and nodded. She tried not to squirm in her seat and to focus on the race instead, but her skin was hot. Uncomfortably so.

The first members of the relay stepped and took their places on the platform. Once they were settled, the official blew his whistle and they dove into the water. Westwood’s first swimmer did well, managing to stay in second place before handing it off to his teammate. She didn’t really pay much attention though. As long as there wasn’t too big a gap between first and second, they were fine. Percy was anchor for the relay and he was fast enough to make up that distance if push came to shove.

Still, Annabeth couldn’t help thinking that there was something off about Percy. She couldn’t say what it was, but he looked more tense than normal. As a competitor, one of the things Annabeth envied most about him was how relaxed he was at meets. Annabeth always had to wrestle with anxiety, but Percy had confessed to her that he barely ever felt nervous. If it was there, his focus was so finely honed that it didn’t even register to him. This was the first time that she had seen him look so jittery at a meet.

Her suspicions were only further solidified when Percy finally dove into the water. Usually, he barely disturbed the water when he breached it, but this time the water burst like he had belly flopped. It wasn’t a great start but they were still in second, so as long as he didn’t panic, there was no need to worry.

But he looked oddly sluggish. There was something wrong with his form. It lacked its usual effortless finesse and looked almost awkward. He slipped into fourth place by the time he kicked off the opposite end of the pool, and it didn’t look like he would be able to recover the distance.

Annabeth slid to the edge of her seat and worried her lip, praying that Percy would be able to figure something out, but at the end of the relay, Westwood finished in 5th place.

Percy stood there with a hand pressed against the pool wall and stared into the water blankly, his shoulders hunched. Eventually, one of his teammates helped pull him out of the pool, but they all looked as confused as Annabeth felt. This was uncharted territory for all of them.

His teammates look at one another, at a loss for words, before his coach pulled him away and had a hushed conversation with him. Annabeth couldn’t make out what they were saying over the noise of the crowd, but Percy’s posture never changed. His coach gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder and left to go deal with the team. Percy stood there for a few seconds before eventually dragging himself into the changing room.

Annabeth turned to Piper, hoping for an explanation, but she only reflected the worry Annabeth felt herself. They made their way down from the bleachers and waited at the entrance of the changing rooms. They had to wait for longer than she’d expected. Even though Percy had been the first to enter, he was the last to leave. When he did finally exit the locker room, his hands were curled tightly around his swimming bag and his hair was sopping wet, like he hadn’t even bothered drying it.

When he noticed them, he mustered a weary smile. “Ah, look! It’s my two favorite girls.”

Annabeth and Piper exchanged glances before Piper cleared her throat and softly said, “How are you feeling, Perce?”

Percy stopped smiling and pressed his lips into a thin line. “Not so hot, honestly.”

“Is there anything we can do for you?” Piper asked.

Percy rubbed at his eyes with his palms and shook his head. “Um, no— I-I’m just tired. I’ll be fine once I get some sleep.”

“You just had an off day,” Annabeth ventured. “It happens to the best of us.”

He set his jaw and looked away from them. “I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

Annabeth balled her hands into fists. She was utterly useless in situations like this. The situation only felt worse when Piper remained uncharacteristically silent. This was supposed to be her forte, not Annabeth’s — if she didn’t know what to say, Annabeth was screwed.

Piper glanced at her, trying to communicate something, but Annabeth didn’t know what she was trying to say. They stood there for a few more moments before Piper deflated with a sigh and shoved Annabeth towards Percy without warning, making Annabeth stumble.

“Well, I suppose I’ll let the girlfriend handle this,” Piper said with affected cheer. “Gotta go pick Jason up from the library anyhow.”

Annabeth turned to glare at her, but she paused when she caught the tick of Percy’s jaw when Piper said the word ‘girlfriend’. The gesture stoked the flames of helplessness burning inside her to even larger blaze. Annabeth turned to Piper in one last desperate attempt to ask for help, but Piper had already turned on her heels and walked away.

It seemed that Piper had thrown her to the wolves. Annabeth balled her hands into fists and tightened her jaw, feeling utterly lost. Piper was expecting too much from her. She didn’t know what the fuck she was supposed to do. She didn’t even know where to begin.

She tried looking at Percy for some insight, but he just looked utterly dead inside. There was something so wrong about that, like someone had extinguished the sun.

The floor squeaked underfoot when she shifted on her heels and wracked her brain for some combination of words that wouldn’t make the situation worse. It took all of thirty seconds for her to realize that she wasn’t going to come up with anything, so she decided to start with something easier.

“C’mon, let’s go to Martha’s,” Annabeth offered. “I’ll even buy you a milkshake.”

Percy dragged a hand across his face and said, “I’m exhausted right now. I just wanna go home.”

Annabeth shook her head. “I can’t let you do that. You’ll just spend all night beating yourself up if I let you go.”

Percy didn’t disagree with her, but he didn’t decide to go with her either. Annabeth screwed her eyes shut and exhaled fully. Then, she stepped forward and took his hand in her own and gave it a squeeze. It was enough to get Percy to actually look at her for the first time all night. She was struck by the fragility she saw in his eyes. No, fragility wasn’t the right word. More like vulnerability, more raw, more open.

“Look, I just don’t want you to be on your own tonight, okay? But if you really do want to go home, I won’t stop you,” Annabeth whispered.

There was a pause before Percy murmured, “Martha’s is fine.”

She almost asked him if he was sure before she thought better of it. “You should dry your hair or you’ll catch a cold again. It’s pretty brutal outside.”

Percy nodded and set down his swimming bag and dropped to a crouch. He tried to unzip the bag to find his towel, but the zipper was caught on something and wouldn’t budge. He tried to get it to work three more times, each attempt more violent than the next, until he stopped and sat down, shoulders hunched.

“It’s not working,” he said blankly. “Why isn’t it working?”

Annabeth crouched beside him and gently tugged the bag out of his grasp, saying, “Here, let me.”

It took her a few seconds to figure out part of his swimming trunks were caught under the zipper. Getting it out of the way took longer than she would have liked, but eventually she managed to tease the bag open. Once she did, she rummaged in the bag for the towel buried at the bottom and turned back to Percy with victorious smile.

“Took some work, but I managed to-” Annabeth’s smile dropped.

Tears were flowing silently down Percy’s face, and he bit his lower lip to keep it from quivering. Before her mind could catch up with her body, Annabeth dropped the towel and threw her arms around him. His breath hitched at first, but then he melted into her embrace and buried his face in the crook of her neck. It hurt to feel his tears straining her shirt and the spastic way his shoulders shook behind her palms.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just let it out. I’ve got you,” Annabeth whispered.

“I’m s-sorry. The stupid zipper. It- It wasn’t working,” Percy sobbed.

Annabeth ran her hands down his back, hoping it would be at least somewhat soothing. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s alright.”

“Can’t even open a fucking bag right,” Percy said tightly. “God, I’m so fucking useless.”

Annabeth pulled away and held him by the shoulders. “Hey, that’s not true.”

Percy looked away from her, coating her hands in tears. “It is.”

“It isn’t,” Annabeth said firmly. “You’re exhausted and having a really shitty day. It’s okay if you couldn’t open your backpack, alright? It’s not your fault.”

“Of course it’s my fucking fault,” Percy said, voice cracking. “I-I let them all down, Annabeth. They were counting on me, and I fucked it up like I always do.”

It took her a second to realize he wasn’t talking about the backpack anymore.

“You had an off day, Percy. It’s nothing to beat yourself up about. I can guarantee that none of them will blame you for it, I promise,” Annabeth said.

“And how would you know that?”

“Because I’ll kick their fucking asses otherwise, that’s how.”

That tore a watery laugh from him before he slumped back against the wall. Annabeth hovered near him, unsure of what to do. Percy rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath.

His voice was more steady when he said, “I’m supposed to be the captain. I’m supposed to be reliable. They put their trust in me, and I let them down.”

“They trust you for a reason,” Annabeth said. “They know how hard you work, how much you have given for the team.”

“But I still failed them when it mattered most,” Percy muttered.

Annabeth sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. “Literally none of them think that. They were just worried about you. I could see it in their eyes.”

When he remained silent, she added, “If one of them were in your shoes and had an off day at a meet, would you think they had let you down?”

“They aren’t captain,” Percy argued.

“So just because you’re captain, you have to be absolutely flawless, all the time?”

Percy opened his mouth before closing it again and looked down at his lap. Annabeth ground her teeth together. What could she do to make him understand? Why did he always hold himself to such unreasonable standards? He always shouldered too much responsibility, but didn’t he realize that, at some point, he would have to run out of things to give? Not even Percy could carry the world on his shoulders forever, but he would be damned if he didn’t try.

“Sometimes I wish people would stop putting their faith in me,” he whispered.

“I know but it’s not entirely their fault. There’s just something about you that makes people want to follow you,” Annabeth said.

Percy shook his head and said, “I don’t understand what they see in me. I’m not special. I can’t be who they need me to be. I wish I could. I really, really do. But I can’t. I just can’t. Even today, I lost us the relay because I couldn’t shut my brain off and focus. I just can’t stop thinking about the-”

“Can’t stop thinking about what?” Annabeth asked, frowning.

Percy swallowed and turned away from her. “It’s nothing. Just ignore what I said.”

A spark of anger that rushed through her. “No, that’s bullshit. You don’t get to do that. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-It’s not a big deal.”

“Then you should have no trouble telling me,” Annabeth said.

When he remained silent, she crossed her arms over her chest and said, “I’m literally not leaving until you tell me what’s going on. Even if that means staying here all night.”

When Percy looked up at her, the mix of fear and resignation in his eyes reminded her of a lamb being led to slaughter. A lump formed in her throat. Since when had things gotten so difficult between them?

She forced herself to take a breath and said, “I’m your friend, Percy. I’m not going to hurt you. So, please, just talk to me.”

There was a pause before Percy ran his hands through his hair, almost violently, and nodded. “I- I can’t stop thinking about New Year’s Eve.”

Annabeth furrowed her brow. “What about it?”

Percy looked down at his lap and clenched his shirt with one hand, right at the center of his chest.

“I almost kissed you.”

His voice had been so quiet, Annabeth had almost missed it. It took her a few seconds to process what he had said and what it meant.

“And that’s why you’re beating yourself up so much?” Annabeth asked, trying not to gape.

He looked up at her sharply and said, “I almost stole your first kiss, Annabeth. You deserve to have it with someone that you actually like, not wasted on a stand-in like me.”

“Percy, first kisses are not that big a deal,” Annabeth said exasperatedly.

“They are to me,” Percy said quietly.

Annabeth didn’t know how to respond to that. Honestly, the whole conversation made very little sense to her. She couldn’t understand for the life of her why this was causing him so much anguish. Besides, there was that comment he had made, about being a stand-in. It was technically true, but there was just something wrong about it.

“The worst part is that I wanted to,” Percy whispered. “Even though I knew from the start, at that moment, I didn’t care. I almost did something awful to you.”

There was a brief pause before Annabeth exploded.

“Christ, boys are so fucking stupid sometimes.”

Percy looked up with wide red-rimmed eyes, surprised by the hostility in her voice. Annabeth pulled him by the collar of his shirt so that they were face to face, close enough for her to see the dried tracks his tears had left on his face, and dropped her voice to a deadly whisper.

“Listen to me very carefully: you didn’t almost ‘steal’ anything that night. I could have stopped the kiss at literally any point if I hadn’t wanted it to happen. It was just as much my decision as it was yours, okay? I’m a person, not a fucking mannequin. Stop treating me like one.”

Annabeth set her jaw and glared at him, daring him to challenge her, but Percy held his breath and nodded once, slowly. She stared at him for another second before she turned to pick up the towel. Her hands were trembling. Annabeth was surprised at how angry she was. She dropped the towel twice because of it.

She turned back to him and said, “Turn around.”

Percy blinked owlishly before he did as she commanded. Annabeth took a moment to run her fingers through his hair. It had dried some, but it was still wet. Annabeth started to towel dry his hair, and Percy flinched, almost immediately, like she had expected.

He caught her wrist and peered up at her. “You don’t have to do that.”

“God, Percy, just shut up and let me take care of you for once,” Annabeth said, sharper than she would have liked.

A beat passed before Percy nodded reluctantly and turned around. Annabeth took a moment to swallow and returned to her task. She took her time. There was no rush, after all. Nowhere they needed to be. Nothing they needed to do. Nothing to stop them from being who they were. So Annabeth tried her best to do with her hands what her words could not.

She was careful with him. Thorough. Gentle. Tension drained out of him, allowing his shoulders to open up, and he leaned into her touch unconsciously. The repetitive motions lulled her senses and the world felt less sharp. The dim lights in the hallway flickered erratically and hummed like a droning bee. His hair was soft and tickled her fingers. She wondered if any of his former girlfriends had known that. They probably had. They probably knew more than she ever would.

“Annabeth?” Percy whispered.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. And— thank you. For everything.”

Annabeth hummed in acknowledgment. A beat passed and Percy’s lips pulled upwards in a half-smile.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve gotten mad at me.”

“You sound far too pleased about that. Am I going to have to kink shame you or something?”

That tore a tired laugh out of him, and Annabeth smiled. Now, with her work done, she threw the towel back into his swim bag and stretched in place. Percy’s back was still facing her. Annabeth knocked her forehead lightly between his shoulder blades and grinned when it startled him. He turned around and raised an eyebrow.

“How are you feeling?” Annabeth murmured.

“Um, better, I think?” Percy replied. “Definitely more relaxed.”

“I- I didn’t make things worse right?” Annabeth asked tentatively.

“No, you helped,” he said quickly. “More than you probably know.”

Annabeth swallowed and looked down at her lap. “Okay, good. Just making sure.”

There was another pause and then Percy asked, “Should we go home?”

Annabeth met his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, let’s go home.”

[ethelphantom]

Things a Pet Name Can Reveal

Scroll down to the end for the art btw, don’t miss it! Also, you’re getting pure fluffy humour again, you should consider yourselves lucky. Maribat March day 13, Pet Names. Also, this is your friendly reminder that yes, I can tag you to stuff if you ask me to do it. This month or all my Maribat content or a specific series... You decide.

Ao3

This is Maribat -- don’t like; don’t read

_________________________

So, maybe, looking back on it, Tim regretted wanting to come over to see how Marinette was doing. He really hadn’t wanted to see and know what he did now and while it wasn’t honestly that bad, he kind of wished he’d found out some other way. Such as, maybe someone actually telling him with words.

The only good thing about any of it was that he had knowledge about Marinette none of the others except for maybe Alfred and Cass had. Scratch that, the two of them definitely knew, but the rest.

Marinette had gotten commissioned by many big names in the movie industry, as well as by a lot of the Wayne Industries’ partners, and yeah, she was definitely drowning in them. Of course, she had wanted to take them all as they paid well, they were good publicity to her, and they were okay with waiting as they knew she had a ton of people wanting to commission her at the same time. Tim would have felt bad for talking so much about his favourite designer to them because he was proud of her and how far she’d come, but Marinette had said it was okay and that she greatly appreciated it.

That was why he decided he wanted to come over to see how she was doing, maybe help her if she needed take-out (because yeah, he couldn’t cook to save his life), coffee (because at least he knew how to brew actually good and strong coffee), or really, anything. She would only need to ask and say the word, and he would do whatever she asked.

As he got to the door, the one that had opened it had been Jason. Which, okay, he could understand, they were close and Jason was the reason the rest of them knew her in the first place, but it still surprised Tim. Jason hadn’t even blinked an eye and let him in. And told him were Marinette was. And was that dark turtleneck Marinette's design he was wearing?

Marinette was, as Jason had said, sitting at the kitchen table (okay, to be precise, she was sitting on top of it), biting her pencil as she had a sketchbook in her hands. Some of her hair fell on her face and shoulders though most of it had been pulled up in space buns to stay away from her eyes. She didn’t even notice Tim had come in.

There was a huge pot on the stove, and the smell hanging in the air was wonderful. It was possible Marinette was cooking — that would explain why she was in the kitchen instead of her study — but somehow Tim found that unlikely. Marinette wasn’t focusing on any clock, didn’t check the food even once, and looked a whole lot like she’d stayed in one place for the past hour or two. There were chopping boards and knives behind her, as well as a whole lot of still untouched vegetables.

Yeah, so it wasn’t her cooking. Then who…?

The answer came in the form of a six-foot man with a white streak in his hair and a scar splitting his lips. “You gonna eat, Timbo?” Jason asked, crossing the kitchen easily with large strides before getting to the food he started stirring. “We’ve got quinoa.” And, as an afterthought, he added, “And avocado, tomato, corn, tuna, carrot and a ton of spices.”

Only then did Marinette realise there was someone else in the room as well. She lifted her head, looked at Jason, and then turned to Tim. The smile that had appeared on her face when she saw Jason widened and she abandoned the sketchbook and the pencil on the table in favour of getting down to give Tim a hug. “Hi Tim, it’s wonderful to see you. Sorry I haven’t texted you or anything, I’ve just been so—”

“Busy, I know. It’s alright, I didn’t really expect anything less from you,” he replied laughing. “You’re you, and you’re like me, and neither of us really knows how to stop working. That’s why I came over as soon as I had finished the biggest projects going on at the WE. I wanted to see you and thought that I could maybe help, even if it’s only in the form of providing you with strong coffee or snacks or something.”

Marinette snorted and covered her mouth with her hand. The ring in her hand glimmered in the light and her eyes crinkled. It was only then that Tim noticed the dark circles around her eyes that were so easy to see now that he paid attention. When was the last time she’d slept?

Not that he really had any say in it, he didn’t remember the last time he’d slept more than four hours at once. The last week had gone cat napping so much Selina would be proud of him. Dick would be horrified and disappointed. Well, who cared about that, that man didn’t know how to eat anything but takeout and cereal, so he had no right to judge the rest of them. Absolutely no right.

...Honestly, Steph, Cass or Jason were probably the most stable of them at this point. Maybe Duke. It was, the least to say, disturbing.

“Well, I appreciate that. You still remember how to make that death coffee you made for me like, a year ago when I was drowning in schoolwork?”

“The one that would probably kill any normal person with the amount of caffeine it contains but that both of us crave for because of the sweet, sweet caffeine?”

“Yes, that one.”

“Definitely. Where’s your coffee and coffee grinder?”

Marinette pointed him to the direction — to the left, the topmost shelf, hidden where neither of them could actually reach. When Tim asked why, Marinette’s sharp response of “Guess once,” and pointed look at Jason had told him everything.

Which meant, he needed to either get Jason to give the things to him or climb.

His dignity wouldn’t let him ask for help with this (after all, it wasn’t a life or death situation, or even an actual mission or job they had, simply his own personal need to be able to do something without anyone’s help on the line), so he climbed.

Eventually, he managed to reach the things and set them on the kitchen counter, careful as to not damage either of them.

After that, the coffee was soon finished, and he set a cup of scalding hot coffee in front of Marinette, who inhaled the strong smell of coffee into her lungs and sighed with satisfaction. He was rather sure someone else had sighed as well, and when he turned around to look at Jason, his suspicions were confirmed. He shook his head and looked at Tim like he’d ruined something personal.

“I was tryna to keep her from coffee. Just like you should be kept away from it, Baby Bird. Neither of you needs it, especially not the amounts I know both of you are drinkin’. God.”

“Yeah, we do need it,” Marinette and Tim chorused, followed by, “It’s the liquid of the gods”, “You can’t stop us”, and “stay away from our fountain of fortune.”

Jason just pinched the bridge of his nose but refrained from saying anything more even though it was clear he wanted to. That was alright with Tim — he didn’t, contrary to popular belief, have a need to fight Jason over every single little thing. No, the one he had the need to do that was Damian, even if he got along with the little brat significantly better these days.

When it seemed Marinette didn’t need him to do anything anymore and just wanted to concentrate on her designs again, Tim took out his laptop and set to work alongside her, just on the chair instead of the table. After all, just because he didn’t have that much work to do didn’t mean he didn’t have any or a lot of work to do.

Later, he was alerted back to the real world from his work by Jason who informed him food was done. A quick glance at the clock told him it had been forty-six minutes since the last time he checked it, so a little bit after he started working.

Reluctantly, he put his laptop away and accepted the plate full of the quinoa thing — whatever Jason had done — that was set in front of him. Marinette didn’t even move.

“Sweet Cheeks, you’ve got to stop working on that design before you burn yourself out. At least eat something.”

Tim’s gaze literally snapped at Jason. Sweet Cheeks? What was even going on?

Marinette groaned and let her face fall into her hands, but she missed and hit the table instead. That must have hurt. Then she gave Jason the finger, somehow perfectly aware where in the room he was located. “See, you started off saying that as a joke to annoy me and now I think you got so used to it that you're saying it unironically, and it's getting to be a problem.”

Jason just raised his eyebrow. “Does it still annoy you, Sweet Cheeks?”

“Yes!”

“Then I fail to see the problem here.”

“You are an asshole, Jason. Asshole.”

“No shit. We’ve been married for, what, half a year and you’re only noticing now?”

Tim’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He could not believe his ears. The fork in his hands falling to the floor, he finally got his brain to cooperate and asked, slowly, as to make sure he didn’t say something wrong and would actually be able to understand what was going on, “You’re what now?”

“We’re married, I just said so. You seriously didn’t know? I thought that out of all of the people B’s trained in his life, you would have been able to figure it out on your own.”

“And you — neither of you — thought to invite us to the wedding?”

“Nah. It kinda happened in the spur of the moment and well. I mean we did have a suit for me and a dress for her so maybe it wasn't that impulsively done but yeah. Forgot to tell you after that and then we started betting on who would notice and when.”

“Of course you did. I shouldn’t probably be surprised even, now should I?”

“No, no you shouldn’t.”

Marinette, that little shit, just laughed. Tim sighed.

“Well, congratulations, you two. I hate you both.”

“We love you too, Tim.”

The rest of the visit was spent discussing the hows, whens and whys of their relationship and marriage. It was cute, he supposed. He was most definitely sure that he was happy the two of them were happy together, though. They clearly deserved one another.

Also, it would be fun to see the rest of the family’s reactions because they told him that if they didn’t figure it out by the end of the month, the two of them would come over and tell them, in some way or another. Tim kind of hoped the family would not figure it out.

A week later, Marinette received a package that contained a card and a framed picture of herself and Jason, taken by Tim on the day he had visited. Under the picture, there was a quote from one of the few plays Tim knew for certain Jason favoured. What the card said was lost in the wonder that was the gift Tim had sent them.

“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.”

_________________

@kris-pines04​ @thethirdwheelfriend @daminett4life @abrx2002 @persephonebutkore​ @rebecarojas07 @corabeth11 @freshbark @maribat-march2020 @catsandfanfic @fertileleaf @eat0crow @cutechip

[rubyneo]

♡ Cherry/Sage

♡ White

♡ 20

♡ They/Them (TME)

♡ Bisexual

♡ Mainly RWBY

♡ Untagged queue

♡ Art

♡ Edits

♡ Writing

Heyyy I'm Cherry! i have rwby brainrot and love blake and ruby <3 so much

usual DNI criteria applies and i use the block button liberally <3

uhhh <16 atf, 25> atf

pansexuals dni

proshippers/anti antis/what the fuck ever are not allowed here i hope yall choke <3

pansexuality/omnisexuality/polysexuality and bisexuality are the same thing. dont agree? hate me? leave. hit the block on your way out

bi lesbians (or mspec lesbians or whatever the fuck 🙄) dont exist. if you are attracted to men and women you are bisexual!

if you interact with transjnpr or any of their friends pls dont interact with me i do not care anymore

other stuff:

uhhh nsfw is tagged as #not sfw OR #explicit depending on what is being depicted

i will always tag triggers if you ask and i try to tag common ones. i just tag as the name so if you need a specific tag, lmk!

i mainly reblog rwby but i also talk about mdzs, tsomd, animanga, etc. everything fandom is usually tagged but sometimes i just toss it in the queue which is completely untagged

sometimes i talk ab spn. im very critical of the show and its racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia. i am an unironic enjoyer of it tho and im doing a full series liveblog. please blacklist "cherry spnposting" if you don't want to see that 😔😔

okay here's a fuller list of my current (sometimes cringe) interests:

nbc hannibal

supernatural

rwby

mdzs

dc comics (specifically batman bc i have an unhealthy attachment to jason todd 🙄🙄)

sometimes i make edits and recently that has included amvs. i found free editing software for mobile with no logo so now i'm unstoppable!

i tag the q slur as q slur or q word and i do not care if you dont like that <3

uhhh i fucking hate clo//ver ebi and fa/ir/game so dont talk to me about them

i dont ship bb or wr or nnd, i hate snow/bird, and i will be a major cunt about this. i will not post content for any of these things ESP not bb or wr. i dont care for them. this is a ladybug zone!!!!

i love enemies to lovers ships and like actual for real enemies to lovers not that weak shit of 'they sort of irritate me' i mean ACTUALLY enemies. different sides. hating the object of their affection and themselves for not really hating them because they Love them. this includes snowfall and tyrianqrow sorry lmao <3

NEO AND ROMAN HAVE A CANON 10 YEAR AGE GAP, BITCHES. NO GLTOS ALLOWED

mutuals feel free to add me on discord! cherry <3#0320

spice//creams yall can stay but like idk. dont try to talk to me ab it shsnsnsnnd

all of my ruby/neo content made prior to November 11th 2021 was made with the headcanon that neo was similar in age to team rwby/emerald and mercury. my fic the girls who fell through the world was started at the same time that headcanon was still a valid one and as such the neo in that fic will remain 19-20!

in REDemption skate park au posts the characters are all adults! ruby is 22, emerald and mercury are 25, and neo is 27.

[nazghoulz]

The Definitive Ranking of Richard Armitage’s Acting Roles, Rated Exclusively by How Hot I Find Him In Screengrabs

Richard Armitage. As a diehard Thorin Oakenshield fan I certainly have a complicated relationship with him, mainly because I can never decide if I find him inherently hot or not. On the one hand, I’m a hardcore Thorinfucker. On the other hand my gay ass sees a headshot of Mr. Armitage and I’m just like, “Oh, no thank you.” So in order to set myself to rights, I have gone through Mr. Armitage’s IMDB and done a definitive ranking of all his 44 screen roles on there, based completely and arbitrarily on how hot I find him in screenshots. (Thank you to all the hardcore Armitage Fuckers who keep wordpress blogs with screengrabs of his various cameos and bit parts; my respect for you cannot be put into words.) I haven’t seen like 90% of these properties, and I didn’t bother to research them, so these are mainly just gut first impressions. I hope this helps anyone else out there who as confused by him as I am. Enjoy ?

44. Father Quart in The Seville Communion/The Man From Rome (2020)   — ??/10

I don’t think this movie is out yet? Idk I haven’t been able to find any stills of him, let alone much information about the movie itself. It’s listed on his IMDB though! And apparently he’s playing a priest...which could be extremely  👁️👁️ if done correctly.

43. Unnamed Naboo Fighter Pilot in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) — 1/10

OH SWEETIE NO!!!!! This physically pains me to say this, because I unironically love this terrible movie with my whole heart, but unlike a yung Kiera Knightley’s role (pictured front and center) as Padmé’s loyal body double Sabé, this is probably a cameo that we would all like to forget about. The only thing Richard has to offer is this unfortunate turtle-faced realness. This helmet does him no favors.

42. Man in Pub in Boon (1992) — 2/10

As far as I know this is Richard’s first acting credit on IMDB, and he for sure is working the background extra energy. Go on girl give us nothing! He does have a decent backside though, and it’s better than looking at unfortunate turtle face, so I give this one a 2.

41. Paul Andrews in Between the Sheets (2003)  — 2/10

I can’t really articulate why, but I absolutely despise every screenshot I see of Richard Armitage in this role. He is completely unhot, and not even in a way I can laugh at. He takes no advantage of his assets, he has no charisma, no magnetism, no nothing. This is Richard Armitage at his most white bread rando, in a way that makes me actively dislike him. Pbbbbttth. Bad. Throw this whole thing away.

40. Craig Parker in Casualty (2001)  — 2/10

I don’t know, it’s like the perfect storm of the gelled 2001 hair, the terrible quarter? eighth? zip sweater, and overall, er, skeezy vibes that he gives off that makes him particularly unhot in this role. Perhaps not as reprehensible as Unhot Paul, but still. I think the sheer boringness of this has to count for something. Blech.

39. Dr. Tom Steele in Doctors (2001) — 2.5/10

He honestly looks like a villain in an early season of Alias, which... well. Quentin Tarantino was cast as a bit-part villain in Alias season one, so take that as you will. But at least he’s compelling here, which is why he gets half a point over Unhot Paul.

38. Steven in Frozen (2005) — 3/10

Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends! Also short haircuts do nothing for you, Richard. Styled like this, they just serve to make you look sort of like a sleaze.

37. Peter Macduff in ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) — 3/10

He honestly looks like he could be a guest star in Friends in this one, where he’s a guy named Jason who Ross meets in Central Perk where they find they have a lot in common. Ross introduces Jason to Monica and they really hit it off, but it all comes crashing down because while Jason is sensitive and writes poetry, he also thinks that the Earth is flat. The rest of the episode is trying to get rid of Jason while he becomes increasingly obsessed with Monica, and Ross cannot quite let go trying to prove to Jason that the world is round. Anyway. Macduff Flat Earth Jason isn’t quite as unhot as Unhot Paul, but he’s pretty much on the same level as Tired Steven.

36. Phillip Durrant in Marple (2007) — 3/10

Something about him in this image really makes me want to punch him in the face. It’s huge Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3 energy.

35. Young Claude Monet in The Impressionists (2006) — 3.5/10

I’M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND IS !!! CARNIVAL BARKER !!!!! STEP RIGHT UP TO SEE THE WORST GOATEE IN HISTORY !!! I was actually going to give Yung Claude a 2 but the more I look at this terrible beard the more impressed I am with the boldness of this look, so I had to bump it up to 3.5. Idk. Just look at this. It’s incredible, especially knowing what kind of beard Armitage can grow himself !!!!!!!!

34. Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) — 3.5/10

This is definitely the best looking he’s been so far in this list, but he’s a Nazi in this one, which makes him unsexy on principle. But do I feel a little something when he gets pinned to the ground by jacked Chris Evans with the above look on his face right before he swallows his cyanide pill? Can neither confirm nor deny. They are also truly playing into his inherently sinister bone structure, so I can respect that.

33. Percy Courtney in Miss Marie Lloyd (2007) — 4/10

Even including Yung Claude and Nazi Heinz, I think Nothing Percy is probably the weakest of Richard’s period looks, mostly because he looks like, well, nothing. He certainly doesn’t pull off that top hat like he does in North and South, and the secret to that might be the lack of sideburns. In this one he just sort of reminds me of the asshole fiance in Titanic.

32. Philip Turner in The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) — 4/10

He’s really giving off bargain bin Hugh Jackman as Wolverine vibes here, if Logan’s energy was more “murderer in a Hallmark channel mystery” than “superhero.” Though, given what sort of show this is, that may be the point! Idk, this isn’t the worst. At least he has a decent haircut in this one. Still, I feel absolutely nothing when I look at him. He’s simply royalty-free stock music given human form.

31. Dr. Alec Track in The Golden Hour (2005) — 4.5/10

I could see how this conceivably be sexy in this role, but to be honest, he’s still nothing to me, sorry. He gets some extra points because he obviously worked out for this role and the hard nips through a white undershirt is a commendable look. I whole-heartedly respect Doctor Alec’s thottitude.

30. Daryl in Staged (1999) — 4.5/10

Speaking of thottitude!!!!! This is one cream-faced business boy that I can certainly get into! He looks like the love interest in a pre-Hayes code homoerotic thriller from the early 1930s. I’m sure that’s just because of the lighting and general staging of this production, but hm... demure. Love it.

29. Capt. Ian Macalwain in Ultimate Force (2003) — 4.5/10

Well, he looks like a character from M*A*S*H but with no charisma, or like an extra in The Great Escape who snitches on Steve McQueen to the Nazis. Also in half the pictures I find of him from this he’s wearing this terrible beret, which I know he can pull off because of a role that ranks much higher on this list. Whoever styles this man really needs to pay attention to what sort of headgear they put on him.  

28. Epiphanes in Cleopatra (1999) — 5/10

Speaking of headgear, you know what?? He doesn’t look awful here. A solid 5, perfectly acceptable. I think the helmet does a lot to accentuate the sharpness of his face in this extremely bit part, though the eyeliner definitely also helps as well.

27. John Mulligan in Moving On (2009) — 5/10

Mr. Armitage’s characters can really have potential when a production’s stylist allows him to wear scruff (IN A WAY THAT LOOKS NATURAL, LOOKING AT YOU YUNG CLAUDE). However, as it is with John Mulligan in Moving On here, he just sort of looks like a rando? They’re not playing into the inherent angularity of his face, which for me makes it sort of confusing regarding what sort of emotion I’m supposed to feel while looking at him. As it is, I’m just like, “Yup, that sure is a regular human man, right there.”

26. Smug Man at Party in This Year’s Love (1999) — 5/10

This is the face of a man who less smug and is more DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND !!!! Idk. He’s cute here, I’ll admit. That’s all I have to say about it.

25. John Standring in Sparkhouse (2002) — 5.5/10

I enjoy the bold choice of giving him wavy hair in this one, but I’m not sure he quite pulls it off. It doesn’t look bad, per se, just... he looks completely nonthreatening. Which I guess could be someone’s thing, but not mine. He honestly looks like a knock-off Will Graham, sans dogs and trauma.

24. Gary in Into the Storm (2014) — 5.5/10

I think the thing that really gets me is that this character’s name is Gary. Who on God’s green Earth looks at Richard Armitage and goes, “Ah yes, you do look like a Gary” ??? I don’t think I know of a single non-American Gary, especially since the name Gary only got popularized after Gary Cooper renamed himself after his hometown of Gary, Indiana!!!! It wasn’t really a name for human men before that!!!! I want to live in the alternate universe where Frank Cooper was originally from Albuquerque and named himself Albuquerque Cooper and this character is named as such. Gary. Really.

23. King Oleron in Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) — 5.5/10

I truly hate how much his facial expressions in these stills remind me of Thorin, considering how bad he looks otherwise. Like his face his fine, I guess, especially since this is the first instance of his full beard. I’m charmed despite myself! Take me to wonderland, O King.

22. Adam Price in The Stranger (2020) — 5.5/10

For as compelling as people call this series, Richard here isn’t very much so imo. But despite my utter lack of interest, he doesn’t look bad per se. He just sort of has that stubbly white man blandness that colors a lot of his more recent roles. Like, at least his bad mid-2000′s styling had character. This is just the visual representation of a vague handwave.

21. Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley (2006)  — 6/10

Gosh... floppy hair, cute sweaters... he also seems to be smiling a lot in this one, which is nice! The only thing I have to complain about is that he looks very much like if Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman circa Kate and Leopold had a baby, which may not necessarily be too much of a bad thing, but I can’t unsee it.

20. Sgt. John Porter in Strike Back (2010)  — 6/10

Ah, back to poorly suited haircuts. At least he’s a little bit gritter and grimier than we’ve seen so far, and I will say Richard Armitage does look good covered in dirt, as we will see later on. Also he’s got biceps in this one, which, hell yeah.

19.  Ricky Deeming in Inspector George Gently (2007)  — 6/10

I’M HAVING THE HARDEST TIME RIGHT NOW RANKING THIS ONE BC OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE WHITE SCARF-RIDING LEATHERS COMBO!!! WHICH ABSOLUTE GENIUS DECIDED THIS!!!! EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM IN HIS EPISODE HAS THIS!!! Part of me just wants to give Stylish Ricky a big fat 10 because I’m gay and adore the sheer audacity of this look, but I still have to be fair and rank his overall aura accordingly. I think he’s a handsome extremely gay-coded motorcycle lad in this one, but he doesn’t exactly rev my engine, so to speak.

18. Lucas North in Spooks (2008) — 6/10

The tattoos really spice this one up. Luke could have been plagued by the problems inherent in Regular Mulligan’s Moving On styling, but this guy has an edge to him. He has a good haircut and 5′ o’clock shadow, which is something I’ve figured out is integral to Armitage Hotness. I feel like if I got to know this character I could possibly find him sexy.

17. Raymond de Merville in Pilgrimage (2017) — 6.5/10

Speaking of bad haircuts, this one is his undoing. This is almost the perfect balance between full beard and short haircut, which is the only way a short haircut works on this man, but they ruined it with this one! They gave him a bad bowl fade, which completely undoes any inherent sexiness that comes with being a knight. Not even the fact that he’s covered in dirt can turn me on at this point, ugh. Guy of Gisbourne he is not!!!

16. Tom Calahan in Brain on Fire (2016) — 6.5/10

Oh hell yes, WELCUM 2 DA DILF ZONE!!! I’m not super duper thrilled with the looks I’ve seen from this movie, but he seems scruffy and comfy in a way that is slightly refreshing for ol’ Richard. This is certainly the best of his normie looks so far. I’m just sad it took them 24 years to figure out how to style him properly for sympathetic roles in a contemporary setting.

15. James in My Zoe (2019) — 6.5/10

It’s another DILF look, slightly edgier than Comfy Tom but none of that sexy tired energy that we’ll see from Ocean’s 8. I don’t know !! Jimmy here doesn’t exactly thrill me, I think I prefer Tom’s flannels to this sharp bomber jacket/white t shirt combo seen here. Oh well! I am extremely  👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 that he can just casually palm that soccer ball like that.

14. John Thornton in North & South (2004)  — 7/10

Alright. I’m sorry. I just don’t find him that hot in this role. Like yeah, he’s got the scruff and the sideburns that work to his advantage, and the setting does make this character inherently sexy, but in some screenshots he screams too much of an aforementioned Kate and Leopold (the best Meg Ryan movie, imo) era Hugh Jackman to me. And if I was particularly into that, I would just watch Kate and Leopold again. I will admit, however, that this rating could be subject to change if I actually took the time to watch this show.

13. Chop in Urban and the Shed Crew (2015) — 7/10

...I’M??? INTO IT??? He’s dirty and scruffy but also has kind eyes.... I feel like this is knock off Will Graham who has blossomed into his own. His run down, grime-covered own. He’s back edging into Bradley Cooper territory, but somehow it works for him in this one. Like, I’m 89% sure it’s the DILF vibes I’ve been getting from the other screengrabs I’ve seen of this role, and this particular flavor of DILF is way sexier than Jimmy or Comfy Tom.

12. Francis Dolarhyde in Hannibal (2015) — 7/10

His Caesar cut doesn’t bother me quite so much in this, probably because he is pretty explicitly playing a villain in a series that doesn’t have any basis in reality. A villain who is ripped, and who can effortlessly throw real Will Graham around. Armitage uses his inherent sinisterness to great effect as the Red Dragon, which is good actually! I think a lot of how hot he is in any particular role really depends on whether the styling allows him to play to his strengths...idk! I’m not usually a huge fan of clean shaven Armitage, but it works for Frank here.

11. Daniel Miller in Berlin Station (2016) — 7/10

As much as I adore this particular look (beard + fade + green army jacket), I have to compromise and give Danny a 7/10 because it seems like the first season they styled him in usual stubbly white man blandness. I’d say screengrabs from s1 are a solid 6, while this might be an 8, so the average is a 7. That’s all I have to say about this!

10. Claude Becker in Ocean’s 8 (2018) — 7.5/10

!!!!! I love him in this role, I about had a conniption in the theater because I absolutely was not expecting him!! He looks perfectly ruffled and scruffy, edgier than either Comfy Tom or Jimmy, which I’m very into. That plus his two borzois (objectively the best looking dogs on the planet) really put Old Claude over the top for me. Thank you, thank you Hollywood stylists for finally figuring out what to do with him for roles as a Normal Man.

9. Richard Hall in The Lodge (2019) — 7.5/10

I don’t know anything about this movie, but it seems pretty spooky, which I’m into. I think Richard is well suited for this sort of horror/thriller role, where his angular features can play into the overall vibe rather than some hapless stylist trying to work around them. He looks like another cozy DILF here but with a bite to him, like someone who would do anything to protect his brood. I mean, he’s teaching this child to shoot! But idk, he also has the potential for Jack Nicholson in The Shining energy, which I also could be....hm... into. Idk. Is this on Netflix??

8. Lee in Cold Feet (2003) — 7.5/10

FUN!!! FLIRTY!!!! OTTER VIBES!!!!! I LOVE THIS, he seems so goofy here, and Armitage doesn’t usually pull off goofy that well! I’ve giggled at literally every screenshot I could find from the four episodes he was in this show, he seems like a real himbo. I’m a huge fan, even if it comes at the cost of dehydration abs.

7. William Chatford in Malice Aforethought (2005) — 7.5/10

Hoo hoo HOO DO NOT JUDGE ME!!!!!!! Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching the new season of The Alienist and the new dark and gritty HBO reboot of Perry Mason back to back, but sue me, I love the bold choice they made with giving him a pencil moustache here. He looks like a hot Howard Hughes; if cream-faced business boy Daryl from Staged is the young ingenue in the pre-Hayes Code thriller I cast him in, Bill here is the sexy antagonist. I desperately want to hear a perfect Transatlantic accent coming out out of that  mouth. This look fucks and I’m sticking to that no matter what.

6. Trevor Belmont in Castlevania (2017) — 8/10

Ah, yes, speaking of king himbos... do me a favor and look me right in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t fuck Trevor Belmont. You can’t, can you?????? At least 80% of Richard Armitage’s inherent hotness stems from his voice, and you can’t tell me there isn’t anything sexier than thinking about letting that guy loose in a recording studio and letting him say fuck. Look, Trevor may be drawn that way, but it’s the absolute stupidity coming out of his mouth in that sweet baritone that makes me want to be raw-dogged by 100% pure Romanian beef.

5. Dr. Scott White in Sleepwalker (2017) — 8/10 

Much like I had intimated when talking about Hot Danny in Berlin Station, this is Peak contemporary normie Richard Armitage styling. I honestly think The Hobbit either awakened something in him, or casting directors finally figured out he looks way good with a full beard. His crew cut even works with his whole look, which is a miracle!!!! I think he should be contractually obligated to have a full beard in all of his future roles, but that’s just me.

4. Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood (2006) — 8.5/10

I honestly can’t believe I’m ranking Guy so far up here, but honestly, THIS RULES!!!!!! THIS FUCKS!!!!!!!!! Which is incredible due to Guy’s lack of beard, but I’m weirdly okay with it? Like sure, he looks like he’d probably call me a slur in front of his shitty friends, but he also looks like he could tenderly pound me into the mattress in a way that would have me questioning my commitment to the “no emotions” clause of our clandestine no-strings-attached sex agreement. Anyway. Guy of Gisbourne if you see this im free thursday night. please message me back if you’re free thursday night when i am fr

3. Angus in Macbeth (1999) — 8.5/10

HHHNGHGNHNGHGN HE’S SO HOT.....!!! HE’S SO HOT!!!!! Leather jacket!!! Scruff!! Dirt!!!! Flattering beret!!!!! He’s so hot, and the worst part about this is that this was filmed in NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Which means we could have always had this, had stylists and makeup artists PLAYED TO HIS STRENGTHS!!!!! He’s so hot I’m getting legitimately angry. Without scruff and dirt this man is nothing. N o t h i n g.

2. John Proctor in The Crucible (2014) — 9/10

Look, I know I have a type. But... this guy is just so hot, Daniel Day Lewis please step aside!!!! Contemporary theater historians describe John Proctor as a “strong beast of a man,” and... hhhHHOOOGH HELL YEAH!!! HELL !!!! YEAH !!!!! Like, his dick got almost his entire Puritan village, including himself, accused of witchcraft and like, looking at this guy, I kind of get it. I would probably go to war over the raw animal beauty of this horrible dirty, greasy man. Sue me, I confess. I saw Goody Osburn with the devil.

1. Thorin II Oakenshield in The Hobbit Trilogy  — 9.5/10

Come on. You knew it was going to be this guy. Look at my icon for christ’s sake. I am completely biased, I cannot look at his pictures objectively. Anyway. Thank you so much for reading, this was a very stupid list.

[jonroxton]

dceu fandom gothic

two year old meta being recirculated whenever a new dceu movie drops and remembering all your bvs fandom friends are deactivated and others have changed their names so you don’t know who they are anymore

it’s 2015 and you can talk about man of steel that’s been out for two years now. you find out it was well received and broke records. u openly cry about the hans zimmer score changing your life you still listen to it

realizing after the first bvs trailer dropped how many people you follow were unironic m(u stans and the veil is torn from your eyes. wait a second. all of tumblr is unironically into the m(u and female coded tony stark meta has10,000 notes and ignores six of the thirteen movies tony appears.meta about dancers in captain america that appear in one scene as 30000 notes. the meta about steve running laps in DC has 20,000 notes and these ppl use real math to calculate a path to ????? idk man i still don’t know but ON YOUR LEFT LOLLLLL dc pretentious losers with their artsy fartsy allegories and PTSD and character arcs and multiple POCS and WOCS pffff

HAhaaaa if they listen to the haters they’ll hire j0ss wh3don to take over justice league AHAHAAAAAA IMAGINE!!!!!!!!!!!sdkfsflhsdkf

bvs the 950 million dollar flop

suicide squad the 750 million oscar winning flop

ww the savior of the dceu makes 1 billion for zero reason without marketing or lead in gal gadot just appeared before our very eyeballs fully formed

no no nooooo aquaman saved the dceu makes another 1 billion for also zero reason it’s not like the first image zack released six years before justice league came out was of jason momoa as arthur that incorporated his culture into the mythos that was by accident

shazam saved the dceu

no birds of prey saved it

except no? birds of prey flopped

except birds of prey made its money back

except birds of prey was not exemplary of feminism so it failed as a female movie

it should’ve been pg-13 so little girls could see it

except the movie should not just be for little girls

and it shouldn’t alienate men

everyone who is going to this movie is being tricked into seeing it bc no one has any awareness about the media they consume whatsoever

except it should have had absolute mass appeal to matter

trying to explain the difference between performative diversity and inclusiveness and actual diversity and inclusiveness but lol hot topic MARTHAAAAAAA grim dark NOT MYYYY SUPERMAN

you don’t actually hate the m(u and while this has always been true you are constantly surprised when you remember that you don’t hate the m(u actually you’ve never thought as much about the m(u until you joined the dceu fandom

being nostalgic for 2015-2017 even tho you received death threats 

the joker as a domineering unpredictable gangster who abuses his girlfriend? nope sorry can’t have that! also doesn’t matter that margot robbie worked on her costumes with the female costume designer who won an academy award for her work or that the most exposed amazons were professional body builders holding up a thousand tons of rock to help their queen escape it’s all exploitive bc zack snyder hates women and wants you to sexualize their bulging muscles faora who what now? marthat LOL MARTHAAAA lois has sex with her boyfriend of two years the slut how dare she be vulnerable

every single dceu movie is a rip off of an m(u movie but also somehow too fake deep and too different stylistically to appease m(u fans and you have stopped trying to make sense of why these people want the same movie ten thousand times, movies they actively ignore and outright hate

you try not to think about how the wb chose to listen to the haters who were never going to like their movies instead of the people who passionately loved and defended them. you don’t know if you’re going to see the next dceu movie. you listen to old MOSAIC podcasts and discover something you missed in bvs even though it’s been five years and you’ve seen it a hundred times

there is ONE single cbm news site you trust but you expect them to let you down any moment now. 

james gunn had to delete 10,000 tweets with p3do jokes about little boys and he made a parody of man of steel where a little super powered boy turns evil. the wb gives him suicide squad. zack snyder’s daughter suicide is fair game. the wb fires him.

critics still hate dceu movies despite them being brighter, lighter and more fun standalones with zero consequences like they wanted. almost as if they never gave a shit and won't ever give a shit! you want to tok about this but the dceu fandom doesn’t really exist any more not like it did

every single dceu tag gives you anxiety

you are ready at any given moment to fight j0ss wh3don. buffy isn’t that good and neither was firefly and you should say it. ANGEL 4EVA