#-or left behind for the sake of the new friends or the love interest and I know I could end up doing that by accident so I want to pay-

[sepublic]

Vee has the parallels with Luz that make her reconsider the choices she made, while also foreshadowing for the Day of Unity, and so forth. And I think Vee has the additional narrative function of complicating the idea of Camila just moving to the Boiling Isles, too; As uncomfortable as she still is four years later, Camila’s a supportive mother so fans naturally figured she’d make the sacrifice of moving to the Demon Realm for Luz’s sake, so Luz wouldn’t have to worry about leaving her mom behind. But with Vee’s introduction, it’s not that simple; Because Vee is someone who really wants to stay in the human world and even has her own friends there. And Vee is family, she’s Camila’s other daughter so she can’t just leave her either.

In a way, Vee is like the extended family Camila and Luz would have in the human world, that would deepen the ties they still have with it. Though I would’ve loved to explore their Dominican heritage via their biological relatives and other aspects, to emphasize what’s connecting them to the human world… That said, with Yesterday’s Lie being written after the crew learned of the shortening, I can see how the writers settled for Vee serving that purpose, because she already pulls off the other functions I mentioned before; It keeps things concise when the show’s runtime led to established setup like the Bat Queen’s owner or half of the coven heads being left unexplored. ‘Creepy Luz’ had already been introduced in S1, so there was a prior obligation to explain something already connected to the Nocedas.

And I can see the ties to Vee adding to Luz’s guilt, because in addition to Vee’s existence suggesting to Luz that she never needed to leave in the first place (which is of course a logical fallacy, but her trauma-riddled brain understandably isn’t being rational), it also makes her feel obligated to stay in the human world. Because Camila obviously wants to look after Vee too, and Luz wants stay with her mom, which means all three Nocedas might have to stay in the human world to make that work, since they aren’t certain about there being a new, permanent portal to normalize travel.

There’s now a new layer to her conflict; Luz wouldn’t want to force Vee to lose her own family again (first her fellow basilisks, then Masha and co. when Luz reclaimed her identity), because she doesn’t feel right making that decision for somebody else who she’d tell herself has had it worse. As for Vee, I wonder if she felt obligated to find her fellow basilisks back in the Boiling Isles, and hoped to invite them to the human realm to stay together… At which point, at least Vee can have it both ways, to Luz’s relief. And after her guilt in helping Belos, for Luz her sister would’ve been almost an excuse not to go back to enjoying the Demon Realm.

Because doing so means allowing herself to try being happy, it means letting herself pursue her dreams again, whilst forgiving herself. And in her repentant state of mind, that would’ve been difficult for Luz to accept; That it’s okay for her to keep trying to be happy and consider what she wants. It means facing her guilt by moving on, and taking risks by allowing the possibility of mistakes again; She’s allowed to make mistakes, and Luz shouldn’t have to fear them because of repentance for whatever harm she might cause.

And in the end, the Collector helped to create a new portal; And because of that, everyone could be happy. Vee didn’t have to abandon her new friends and home, but she didn’t have to lose her new mom and sister either; Similarly, Luz and Camila wouldn’t have to forsake a fellow Noceda, as well as everything else about the human world they still held dear, such as their culture.

On Vee’s end, she can also be reunited with her Basilisk family, who now live at the University of Wild Magic! So Vee could still have her own ties to the Demon Realm that she’s allowed to keep, and not be the only Noceda sister interested in maintaining contact; Her siblings still seem fond of the isles, so they too have it both ways with family and their home. In that case, the entire Noceda family —Manny, Camila, Luz, Vee— really is a family of immigrants navigating two worlds at once! Luz might not have been so alone in her dilemma after all, which is another thing for her and Vee to bond over, and a reassurance for her wish because Luz is understood not just by her mother, but her sister as well… It was always available for Luz to work with Vee about what they wanted once the situation had settled.

And finally, Luz can still explore the Demon Realm and hang out with her friends there, while studying its magic; Her quincenera having both families of both worlds, mixing in aspects of her Dominican heritage with the Boiling Isles’ take on things, perfectly encapsulates all of this. None of this would’ve happened if Luz hadn’t let herself go to the Boiling Isles again to help, because she was needed to speak to the Collector, after all, and they helped reconnect the worlds. And she wouldn’t have kept visiting after returning to the human world had Camila not helped Luz forgive herself for loving the Demon Realm.

[reploidbuddy]

This is 3 days late im sorry but - if it's open for qs, I'd love ti hear about your shared dreams au if you havent already answered?

No need to be sorry!!! Qs are always open <3

And I'm so glad your asked!!! So far, I've only posted Silver and Espio’s designs with some basic info if you're interested :3 (crazy that when I re-read Espio's I found a few details had already changed. Nothing big but it's still funny to me, stuff change so fast when it simmers well in planning).

But the basic premise/summary-like description is that Espio comes in contact with an odd gem to study it so he can do an important research paper for school (and like, get his degree lmao), but ever since he brought it homes he starts having oddly similar dreams where he meets a mysterious young man around his age (that talks a little oddly and is weirdly dressed too).

The vocaloid song The Apocalypse 30th gave me the basic "two people meet each other in a dream and fall in love" premise along with a few details here and there. So yes it's Espilver, I like them B)

As always, there's a lot of lore that'll come with the story. I get excited when I think abt it but I'm scared it'll turn into yet another really long story ;-; I'm already struggling to write Where the Water Narrows due to irl stuff I don't want to keep 2 audiences waiting and split my already thin focus ;-; but the story itself do be sparking joy to think about so I get to plan it when I'm away from a mechanical keyboard.

[edenesth]

The Secret Admirer

Pairing: school rival!San x fem!reader (featuring Wooyoung)

AU: high school au (enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 14k

Summary: As a new transfer student in KQ High, you start receiving anonymous love notes and gifts that leave you both intrigued and confused. It becomes a secret admirer mystery at school and everyone has their theories about who it might be. Could it be your crush, Wooyoung, as you'd hoped or the annoying Choi San?

A/N: This is lowkey inspired by ATEEZ's The Real music video. San looked so good here, he's literally unreal.

ATEEZ Masterlist

Mingi let out a sigh filled with anxiety, his gaze fixed on the imposing school building that would be your new home. You pursed your lips, throwing an arm over his shoulder as best you could, your best friend towering over you by at least half a head.

"I'm really scared." He admitted, shoulders sagging under the weight of his apprehension.

In an attempt to ease his tension, you playfully nudged him on the head, "Oh, come on, Mingi. We didn't leave our old school behind just for you to remain scared here. I promise things will be better."

He managed a forced smile, wanting to show strength for your sake.

Your previous school was a nightmare, a toxic environment where bullies ruled the place, and even teachers struggled to maintain order. Wealthy students received special treatment, while the rest of the students became targets of the elite.

Poor Mingi had suffered the worst of it.

He endured relentless bullying that left him with severe anxiety.

As his best friend, you had done everything in your power to protect him, but the odds were stacked against you when you, like him and everyone else, were only from a regular-income family.

In the end, you two suffered together, united by the daily struggle.

You had talked to your parents about the situation, and together with Mingi's parents, they agreed to transfer both of you to a new and more promising school in the neighbourhood.

That's how you found yourselves standing before KQ High.

It was your first day at this new school, and while you were filled with optimism, Mingi still carried the weight of his old fears.

"Hey, no matter what happens, I'll be right here with you, okay?"

His genuine smile finally broke through, and he pulled you into a side hug, "Thanks, buttercup. You're the best."

You smirked and dramatically flipped your hair, "I know. Now, let's get going, dumbass. We can't afford to be late on our first day. Trust me, you don't want to be a laughingstock."

With his laughter accompanying you, you both headed towards the unknown, already feeling a little lighter and more hopeful about the new journey ahead.

Lucky for the two of you, the first period of the day turned out to be an unexpectedly pleasant surprise.

As you and Mingi settled into your seats in the classroom, you exchanged a look of amazement. This was already a stark contrast to your previous school, where you had grown accustomed to the oppressive atmosphere of fear and hostility.

Today, however, there were no bullies in sight, and the atmosphere felt refreshingly different.

Everyone in the class greeted you both with polite smiles and warm words of welcome upon your first meeting. It was as if they genuinely cared about their studies and the well-being of their fellow classmates.

The teacher, Mr. Kim, a kind and enthusiastic educator, introduced himself with a cheerful demeanour.

He took the time to get to know each student, making sure to pronounce everyone's names correctly and asking about their interests and aspirations.

It felt like a breath of fresh air compared to the apathetic instructors you had encountered before.

As the class began, you found yourself immersed in the subject matter, something that had rarely happened at your previous school. The other students seemed equally engaged, and there was an air of camaraderie as you all shared your thoughts and ideas.

During a group activity, you and Mingi teamed up with a couple of classmates, who were eager to include you in the discussion. They listened attentively to your input and shared their own insights. It was a stark departure from your past experiences of being isolated and ridiculed.

The minutes passed, and the first period drew to a close.

As you gathered your belongings, Mingi turned to you with a smile that reflected his growing sense of relief and happiness.

"Can you believe this, buttercup?" He whispered, his eyes wide with amazement, "No bullies, no weird stares, just normal people treating us like... well, normal people."

You returned his smile, "I know, Mingi. It's incredible. I think we might have finally found a place where we belong."

Mingi nodded, and together you both left the classroom, carrying a newfound sense of hope and optimism. The journey was just beginning, but for the first time in a long while, you felt like you were on the right path, surrounded by classmates who were genuinely kind and a school where learning was valued above all else.

But perhaps you might have spoken a little too soon.

In the blink of an eye, a rather intimidating figure appeared before you just as you were making your way to your locker.

The collision was unavoidable, causing the stranger to drop his stack of books. You gasped, immediately bowing multiple times and apologising profusely, not wanting to escalate the situation.

Considering how kind everyone had been so far, you expected this guy to graciously accept your apology.

Oh boy, you couldn't have been more wrong.

Reality proved quite different as he responded with a withering glare, accompanied by a muttered curse under his breath. He then scoffed, "Sheesh, get yourself a pair of glasses if you can't see properly."

Your heart sank, and you could feel your optimism from earlier wavering. It seemed that not everyone was as welcoming as you'd initially thought.

Should've known things were too good to be true.

Not one to back down easily, you rolled your eyes and clenched your jaw in annoyance, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that a rat crawled up your ass and died there, because what the heck, dude? There's no need to be rude, it was clearly just an accident."

Mingi's eyes widened at your audacious response, panicking.

He quickly grabbed your arm and attempted to pull you away, stammering, "N-no, she didn't mean that! We're new here, so she's not familiar with the rules yet. She reacts strangely to shock... ha ha... We'll just be on our way, sir."

You scoffed, tugging your arm stubbornly out of Mingi's grasp, determined to confront this douchebag, who you now knew as Choi San, thanks to his name tag. You huffed in irritation, "Sir? I think not. Stay put, Mingi. I've got this."

San responded with a smirk, his disbelief evident in his expression, "You? What are you going to do, Miss Smarty Pants?"

To your best friend's absolute chagrin, you rolled up your sleeves, sizing the bully up daringly, fully prepared to fight if necessary.

But before you could do or say anything rash, someone stepped in between you and San, "Whoa, whoa, calm down, let's all take a deep breath. There's no need to fight, I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding."

He turned to you after shooting San a quick glare in warning, "I apologise on behalf of my friend here. He's just having a rough day. I assure you, he's not always like this."

You wished you could respond with collected composure, but you were utterly captivated by the stunning young man who had just intervened. Mingi, sensing the atmosphere, joined you and bowed, "I'm truly sorry as well. She isn't usually like this, I promise."

The guy shook his head warmly, reassuring, "No, please, you have nothing to be sorry for."

While you were momentarily lost in admiration, your best friend took charge of the conversation on your behalf, "I heard you both are new?" The guy inquired, and Mingi nodded, introducing both of you.

He offered a friendly smile, "Oh, it's nice to meet you two. I'm Wooyoung, and this is San. We happen to be the president and vice president of the baseball club. Perhaps you could both come over and take a look once you've settled in."

Finally finding your voice upon hearing this invitation, you enthusiastically chimed in, "We'll definitely be there!"

San couldn't hide his annoyance, clearly vexed by your shift in demeanour due to his best friend's presence. After exchanging a few more pleasantries with Wooyoung, you went separate ways.

As you and Mingi walked home together after school that day, he couldn't help but express his concern.

He shot you a reproachful glance and said, "Seriously, you almost got into a brawl with San back there. You can't just let your temper get the best of you like that."

You took a deep breath, your expression softening as you explained.

"Mingi, I didn't want to fight. I just... I wanted to make sure we don't become targets like we were at our old school. Sometimes, you've got to let people know you're not someone to mess with so they'll leave you alone. It's not about aggression, it's about self-defence."

He sighed, realising your perspective, "I get it, buttercup, but let's try to handle these situations differently, okay? We're in a new place, and maybe things will be different here."

You nodded, understanding his point and promising to exercise more restraint in the future.

Just like your nickname, Mingi named you after the Powerpuff Girl who resembled you the most. While you enjoyed teasing him and playfully referring to him as your princess, you were like his protector; embodying the qualities of a tough hotheaded tomboy, much like the actual Buttercup.

The conversation then took a lighter turn as Mingi began talking about the president of the baseball club, "Did you see the way Wooyoung handled the situation? He's so cool. I hope I can be like him one day."

A dreamy smile crossed your face as you thought of the handsome baseball club president, "Yeah, Wooyoung is something else, isn't he? So confident and composed. It's like he's got this natural charm about him."

Mingi chuckled, catching the starry look in your eyes, "Someone's got a little crush, huh?"

You rolled your eyes playfully, but there was no denying it – there was something undeniably captivating about Wooyoung that had left an impression on both of you.

As you continued your walk home, you wondered what other adventures and encounters awaited you in this new and intriguing chapter of your high school life.

A week had passed since you and Mingi had started attending KQ High, and things were shaping up quite well.

The two of you had managed to make some new friends here and there, and the best part was that you could finally focus on your studies without the looming fear of being bullied.

As you both sat down for lunch in the school courtyard, the sun shining brightly overhead, you felt a sense of contentment. The atmosphere was different here, and it was refreshing to know that you could be yourself without constantly looking over your shoulder.

Mingi took a bite of his sandwich and then turned to you, a mischievous glint in his eye, "You know, I've been thinking. We should pay a visit to the baseball club soon."

You grinned, realising where he was heading with this, "I was just about to say that! I mean, Wooyoung and San did seem pretty cool, it wouldn't hurt to check out what the club is all about."

He nodded in agreement, excitement in his voice, "Exactly! We've literally already met the most important people in the club. Wooyoung's the president, and he's so sweet and welcoming. Plus, San's the vice president, he might not be as warm and fuzzy, but he's still part of the team."

You both chuckled at the thought of San's initial grumpy demeanour.

You were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps Wooyoung had been right, perhaps San was just having a bad day.

Your best friend continued, "Besides, I hear the baseball club is pretty popular here. It could be a great way for us to finally get more involved in school activities."

With a determined nod, you replied, "For sure. Let's finish our lunch, and maybe we can swing by the club after classes today. I guess it's about time we step out of our comfort zone and try doing what normal students do for a change."

His eyes lit up with enthusiasm as he agreed, "Sounds like a plan. Who knows, maybe we'll discover a hidden talent for baseball or make even more friends along the way."

As you both finished your lunch and chatted about your upcoming visit to the baseball club, you felt a sense of excitement for the adventures and friendships that awaited you at KQ High.

The afternoon sun was dipping low in the sky as you and Mingi made your way to the baseball club's practice field. You were both excited to see what the club had to offer and meet more of your new schoolmates.

However, as you approached the field, you couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. Wooyoung was nowhere to be seen.

Instead, San was there to greet you and Mingi.

You tried to shake off the uneasy feeling that had settled in your stomach, reminding yourself that maybe San had just been having a bad day when you first met him.

As you approached, his expression remained stoic, and he barely acknowledged your presence. He turned to Mingi with a polite nod and said, "Hey, you're Mingi, right? I'm San, the vice president. Nice to meet you."

Mingi smiled and extended his hand, shaking San's, "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you too, San."

You felt a pang of frustration.

San had greeted Mingi with politeness, but when he turned to you, his demeanour shifted completely. He didn't offer a handshake or a smile; instead, he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"And who are you?"

The blatant hostility in his tone caught you off guard.

You felt your patience wearing thin as you replied, trying to maintain your composure as you gave him your name, "I'm Mingi's friend. We're both new here, and we wanted to check out the baseball club."

His response was a scoff and a dismissive wave of his hand, "Figures."

You exchanged a bewildered look with Mingi, who seemed equally taken aback by San's attitude. It was clear that the vice president had something against you, and it was infuriating to be treated so poorly when you had done nothing to provoke him.

Before the situation could escalate further, you decided to take the high road and simply said, "Well, we'll leave you to it then. Sorry for bothering you."

Mingi nodded in agreement, and you both turned to leave the baseball field, your excitement from earlier now replaced by disappointment and frustration.

You couldn't figure out why San had such a strong dislike for you.

A few days after your rather disheartening encounter with the vice president at the baseball club, you and Mingi were surprised to find Wooyoung approaching you both with a warm smile on his face.

He seemed genuinely apologetic as he began, "Hey, I heard about what happened when you first visited the club. I was away for a meeting that day, and I just wanted to apologise for San's behaviour. He was being unreasonable, and I've spoken to him about it. Sorry about that."

You exchanged a glance with Mingi, your initial tension easing at the club president's friendly demeanour, "No worries," Mingi replied diplomatically, "We understand that everyone has off days."

Wooyoung nodded appreciatively, then made an offer that took you both by surprise, "Well, how about I personally give you a tour of the club and introduce you to the other members? I promise you won't have any trouble with San this time."

You hesitated for a moment, your previous encounter with San still fresh in your mind. But the Wooyoung's sincere offer was hard to resist, and you nodded in agreement.

"Sure, that sounds great. Thank you, Wooyoung."

A few days later, you and Mingi met up with the club president at the baseball field.

He was as charming and friendly as ever, making you feel at ease. As he began to show you around and introduce you to the club members, you were impressed by the teamwork and talent on display.

But your anxiety resurfaced when you noticed San's presence.

Wooyoung had assured you that San would behave civilly, but as the tour continued, it became painfully clear that the club's vice president had no intention of including you in the proceedings.

He interacted with Mingi, offering insights and sharing stories about the club, but he completely disregarded your presence. It was as if you were invisible to him, and you couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider.

You tried your best to remain composed and not let his behaviour get to you, but it was hard to enjoy the tour when you felt so excluded. Wooyoung noticed your discomfort but didn't address it directly, choosing to focus on showing you the positive aspects of the club.

Once the tour ended, you and Mingi thanked Wooyoung for his time and kindness, genuinely appreciating his efforts to make you feel welcome. But the unresolved tension with San lingered in the air, leaving you with mixed feelings about your visit to the baseball club.

After much contemplation, you and Mingi decided not to join any clubs for the time being, and instead, chose to focus on your studies and adapt to your surroundings first.

As the days turned into weeks at KQ High, your relationship with San seemed to evolve from animosity to outright rivalry.

Every interaction with him felt like a challenge, as he continuously sought to get on your nerves. He never missed an opportunity to one-up you, whether it was by bragging about his grades or teasing you for having slightly lower scores.

In the classroom, San always seemed to find a way to sit near you, making snide comments about your work.

If you scored well on a test, he would downplay it, claiming it was just luck. When your grades were slightly lower than his, he would never let you forget it, making sly remarks about your academic abilities.

Despite his childish behaviour, you were irritated by his constant need to compete. It was as if he couldn't stand the thought of you outperforming him in any way. Your rivalry with the vice president of the baseball club became the talk of the school, with classmates often teasing you both for your ongoing battles.

Amidst this rivalry, Wooyoung seemed to sense your frustration.

He became extra caring and attentive, making an effort to balance out his best friend's behaviour. The club president went out of his way to support you in your studies, offering to help you with difficult subjects and encouraging you to join extracurricular activities.

His kindness and understanding provided a stark contrast to San's behaviour, and you appreciated his efforts to make amends for his friend's actions. Wooyoung's friendship became a source of comfort and encouragement during your high school journey, and you found yourself growing closer to him as a result.

As time went on, you realised that despite the challenges posed by San's rivalry, you had a strong support system in Mingi and Wooyoung, who helped you navigate the ups and downs of high school life.

Your determination to succeed and prove yourself only grew stronger, fueled by the competitive spirit ignited by your rivalry with San.

During a brief break between classes, you were walking alongside Mingi, casually complaining about your favourite chocolate milk running out in the school cafeteria. It had become somewhat of a ritual for you to enjoy that chocolatey goodness during your short breaks, and its absence was deeply felt.

"I can't believe they ran out of my favourite milk again," You groaned to Mingi, shaking your head in disappointment, "It's like they always do it right when I need it the most."

Mingi, ever the empathetic friend, sighed in agreement, "I know, right? It's like they have a radar for when you're craving it."

As you approached your locker during the break, you prepared to grab your textbooks for the next class. However, when you opened your locker, you let out a surprised gasp.

Inside your locker, right next to your textbooks, was a carton of your favourite chocolate milk. You blinked in disbelief, your eyes widening, and your heart skipped a beat.

You reached for it and found a note attached.

Mingi's excitement was palpable as he watched your reaction, "What is it? Did someone leave you a surprise?" You pulled out the note and read it aloud, your voice filled with astonishment, "I hope your favourite milk can cheer you up. Enjoy!"

His eyes widened even more, and he couldn't contain his excitement, "Ooh, you have a secret admirer!" He exclaimed, his voice a little too loud for the quiet hallway. Your face flushed with embarrassment as the attention of your fellow students turned towards you.

You stammered, "I-I don't know who it could be."

Mingi grinned mischievously, putting two and two together, "Maybe it's someone from the baseball club, trying to impress you."

The thought had crossed your mind as well, but you couldn't be sure.

As the mystery of your secret admirer hung in the air, you felt a mixture of curiosity and delight. Who could it be that knew about your love for chocolate milk and wanted to make your day a little brighter?

As time passed, the mystery of your secret admirer deepened, and the gestures of affection continued to pour in.

Every day seemed to bring a new surprise, from your favourite snacks and drinks to essential items to get you through the day. The notes that accompanied these gifts grew sweeter by the day, and it was clear that this person knew you extremely well.

One day, you found a note that simply read, "I hope this makes you smile today," along with a bouquet of your favourite flowers.

Another time, a cosy scarf appeared in your locker with a note that said, "Stay warm and happy, always."

Your secret admirer seemed to anticipate your needs and desires, brightening your days with their thoughtful gestures. You felt a warm sense of connection with this mysterious person who seemed to know you so intimately.

Unbeknownst to you, your secret admirer had become the talk of the school.

Everyone had their own theories about who it might be, and gossip about the identity of this mysterious person spread like wildfire. Some speculated it was someone from the baseball club, while others believed it could be a classmate who had been secretly watching you from afar.

Throughout all of this, your rivalry with San continued.

He would often tease you about the "silly" gifts you were receiving, making fun of the person who would actually like you. Although his comments annoyed you, they also fueled your determination to uncover the identity of your secret admirer.

On the flip side, your bond with Wooyoung continued to grow stronger. He would occasionally do things that made your heart flutter, like lending you his jacket when you were cold or giving you his umbrella when you forgot to bring yours.

These gestures were so attentive and thoughtful that they set your crush on him into overdrive, something even Mingi wouldn't do.

As the days went by, the secret admirer mystery at school only intensified, and you found yourself torn between trying to solve the puzzle and cherishing the daily surprises that brightened your life.

One afternoon, as you and Mingi sat together in your favourite spot in the school courtyard, the topic of your secret admirer came up once again. Ever the imaginative friend, he threw out a series of wild suggestions, each more unlikely than the last.

"What if it's Seonghwa from the calligraphy club? I mean, you did have that one conversation with him." Mingi proposed, his eyes dancing with mischief.

You rolled your eyes at the idea.

"Oh come on, that's a bit too far-fetched, don't you think? Seonghwa is way too sophisticated to have a crush on me."

Mingi didn't stop there, "Okay, okay, how about Yunho from the biker's club? He did lend you a pen during that exam, after all. Could be a sign."

You couldn't help but chortle at Mingi's wild theories.

"Dude, you're trippin'. Yunho is practically a legend in this school. He's got way better things to do than leave me love notes."

Mingi shrugged, conceding, "Yeah, you're probably right. And then there's Yeosang, the untouchable genius and president of the student council. Maybe he's secretly smitten with you."

You burst into laughter, "Mingi, you're freaking crazy! Yeosang is way out of my league. Besides, why would someone like him be interested in me?"

Mingi finally gave up on his outlandish guesses and turned to you with a smile, "Alright, buttercup. Who do you think it is then?"

You felt your cheeks flush, and you hesitated for a moment before shyly admitting, "Well, if I had to pick, I kind of wish it was Wooyoung," He grinned, nudging you playfully, "Ah, so you've got a soft spot for the baseball club president, huh?"

You blushed even deeper and playfully swatted his arm.

"Don't tease me, it's just a silly crush. I doubt he's the secret admirer anyway," His smile was warm as he ruffled your hair, "You never know, silly. Sometimes, the person you least expect can surprise you."

After your admission about your crush on Wooyoung and Mingi's continuous teasing that lasted for days, the gifts and notes from your secret admirer strangely stopped. It was as if someone had flipped a switch, and your daily bright spots had disappeared. You had grown so accustomed to the surprises that you now felt like everything was going wrong without them.

One day, as you sat in an empty classroom after school, fulfilling your cleaning duty, you couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment. You missed the small gestures of kindness that had brightened your days.

It was a particularly gloomy afternoon, you couldn't help but mope.

But your already sour mood took a nosedive when the last person you wanted to see made an unexpected appearance in the classroom. San strolled in with an arrogant smirk, clearly relishing the opportunity to get under your skin.

"Aww, still pouting because your secret admirer ditched you?" He taunted, leaning casually against a desk.

You tried to ignore him, focusing on your cleaning duties, but his relentless teasing was beginning to wear on your nerves. He continued to make snide remarks about your admirer, insinuating that you might have been sending the gifts and notes to yourself just to create the illusion that someone would like you.

"Are you sure you didn't send yourself all those things just to make yourself look desirable? I mean, who in their right mind would even like you enough to do all this?"

Each of his words stung like a needle, and you clenched your fists in frustration. You had no idea why your secret admirer had suddenly stopped, but the insinuation that you were faking it only fueled your irritation.

Finally, you couldn't hold back any longer.

Turning to face him, you snapped, "You know, San, not everything revolves around you and your constant need to belittle others. Just because you can't stand the thought of someone being nice to me doesn't mean you have to make up stories to feel better about yourself."

His smirk faltered for a moment as he realised the depth of your anger. You had rarely spoken up to him in such a manner, and it took him by surprise. Before he could respond, you turned away and focused on finishing your cleaning duties.

The emptiness in your heart weighed heavily on you, and you wondered why your secret admirer had disappeared and whether you would ever find out the truth.

As you continued to clean the classroom, feeling down after your encounter with San, you didn't expect anyone else to notice your mood.

But as you were lost in your thoughts, you suddenly heard a familiar voice calling out your name.

"Hey, are you okay?"

You turned to see Wooyoung standing in the doorway, concern evident in his eyes. He had apparently noticed your sombre expression and had come to check on you.

You managed a weak smile, not wanting to burden him with your troubles, "I'm fine, Woo. Just a bit tired, that's all." He didn't seem convinced but respected your response.

Instead, he offered, "Well, how about we grab some ice cream after this? It might help brighten your day." The offer caught you by surprise, and you felt a glimmer of hope. Ice cream sounded like a perfect way to lift your spirits.

You nodded in agreement, "Sure, that sounds nice."

As you walked to the nearby ice cream shop after school, Wooyoung did his best to engage you in conversation, trying to cheer you up. His genuine concern and friendly demeanour made you feel a bit better, but you couldn't shake off the nagging thought about your secret admirer.

Sitting in the ice cream parlour, you stared at him as he talked animatedly about various topics, you wondered if he could be the secret admirer. The thought played like a broken record in your mind.

Part of you wanted to ask him why he had stopped the gifts.

But the logical part of your brain reminded you that it couldn't possibly be Wooyoung. If he were the one behind the thoughtful gestures, he wouldn't be here with you right now, trying to cheer you up in person.

So, you pushed aside your doubts and worries, allowing yourself to enjoy the moment with him. As you savoured the sweet taste of your ice cream, you appreciated his kindness and friendship, even if the mystery of your secret admirer remained unsolved.

After your outing with the baseball club president, you found yourself pondering your feelings and the mystery of your secret admirer even more. The conflicting emotions swirling within you left you feeling confused and unsettled.

Unable to contain your thoughts any longer, you decided to confide in Mingi. As you both sat in his bedroom, you opened up about your feelings regarding Wooyoung and the secret admirer.

"Mingi, I just don't understand," You began, your voice tinged with uncertainty, "I've been so fixated on this secret admirer, but I really like Wooyoung. He's caring, attentive, and he's been there for me. So why do I feel so sad about the gifts and notes stopping?"

Mingi regarded you thoughtfully before gently pointing out.

"It sounds like you're describing two different people. If you like Wooyoung and he's been caring towards you, then shouldn't that be enough? Why does it matter if the secret admirer stopped?"

His words struck a chord, and you realised he was right.

Why were you so bothered by the absence of your secret admirer when you believed it to be Wooyoung all along? Did you secretly wish it were someone else? Had your feelings for Wooyoung not been as strong as you thought?

You let out a deep sigh, feeling the weight of your conflicting emotions, "I don't know. Maybe I got carried away with the idea of a secret admirer, it shouldn't diminish what I feel for Wooyoung."

Mingi nodded in understanding, his expression gentle.

"Exactly, buttercup. You don't need a secret admirer to validate your worth or the kindness Wooyoung has shown you. Sometimes, our own expectations and fantasies can cloud our feelings."

Reflecting on Mingi's words, you realised that your fixation on the secret admirer had indeed overshadowed your true feelings for Wooyoung. It was time to appreciate the genuine connection you had with him and let go of the mystery that had consumed your thoughts for so long.

As you decided to let go of the idea of the secret admirer and focus on your budding relationship with Wooyoung, life seemed to return to normal. You enjoyed the time you spent with him, cherishing his caring gestures and the genuine connection you shared.

But one day, as you sat in the school cafeteria with Mingi, you expressed your frustration, "Ugh, can you believe it? They've run out of my favourite chocolate milk again. It's like they do it on purpose."

Mingi sympathetically patted your shoulder, "I know. It's their conspiracy against you, clearly."

After lunch, you returned to your desk in the classroom, expecting another mundane afternoon. But as you opened your bag, you let out a gasp of surprise. There it was, a carton of your beloved chocolate milk, sitting neatly on your desk.

Mingi's eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at the milk, then at you.

"It's happening again!"

You were equally shocked, your heart racing with a mixture of excitement and curiosity.

The return of your secret admirer was unexpected, and you wondered who could be behind it. Picking up the carton of milk and examining it, you find a familiar note attached. It simply read, "I thought this might make your day better."

The mystery had resurfaced, and you exchanged puzzled glances with Mingi. It seemed that your secret admirer was back, and you couldn't wait to uncover the truth behind these thoughtful gestures once and for all.

As the days went by, you noticed that Choi San seemed to be everywhere lately.

It was as if he had suddenly taken an interest in your daily activities. He would pop up in unexpected places, finding clever ways to get your attention, though his teasing had taken on a different tone.

His jokes had shifted from being insulting to more lighthearted and harmless. While you still found yourself annoyed by his constant presence, you couldn't deny that his newfound playfulness was less aggravating than before.

Despite your long-standing rivalry and the initial bad impression you had of each other, you noticed that San's behaviour had changed. He was no longer the relentless tormentor but rather someone who seemed to enjoy engaging with you in a teasing, albeit less hostile, manner.

You found yourself in an odd position.

While you didn't exactly hate him as much as you used to, the memories of your first encounters and the rivalry that had defined your relationship still lingered. It was hard to completely let your guard down around him, even though his intentions appeared to have shifted in a more positive direction.

As you navigate this newfound dynamic with San, you wonder if there was more to his change in behaviour. Was it possible that he had also grown tired of the constant rivalry and had decided to take a different approach in your interactions?

The uncertainty only added to the intrigue of the situation, leaving you both baffled and intrigued by his unexpected transformation.

One afternoon, you found yourself in the library, engrossed in a study session with Wooyoung. The two of you had been diligently working on your assignments and preparing for upcoming exams. The peaceful atmosphere of the library was perfect, and you were grateful for the club president's presence.

But your concentration was disrupted when you noticed San approaching your table. He wore an unhappy expression, and you grumbled in annoyance at his sudden, unwanted presence.

"Hey, Woo," San said with feigned nonchalance, "Mind if I hang out with you guys for a bit?"

Wooyoung, always the peacemaker, smiled and gestured to an empty chair, "Of course, Sannie. Join us. But please, be nice to her."

San acted as if he reluctantly accepted the invitation.

In between your study session, Wooyoung received an urgent phone call that required his immediate attention. He apologised for having to leave and promised to return as soon as he could.

You sighed as Wooyoung left, knowing that you were now alone with San. You asked, "Why are you still here, San? You said you wanted to hang out with Wooyoung," He shrugged, feigning indifference, "Well, I also need to study, you know. Can't be slacking off all the time."

You rolled your eyes, sceptical of his true intentions.

"Fine, whatever. Just don't disturb me."

As you continued to work on your assignments, you came across a particularly challenging math problem that left you frustrated.

San, who had been quietly studying himself, noticed your struggle. Surprisingly, he leaned over and said, "You know, I'm pretty good at math. Need some help?"

You were taken aback by his offer, not expecting such a gesture from someone you had considered your rival for so long. After a moment of hesitation, you reluctantly agreed.

"Okay, fine. Help me with this one."

His explanation turned out to be clear and concise, and you couldn't help but acknowledge that he was indeed skilled in math.

As he helped you in solving the problem, you thought to yourself that maybe he wasn't as unpleasant as you had initially thought. It seemed like he still had the capacity to be a decent person when he chose to be.

The following day, you sat alone in school as the rain poured outside, your chances of staying dry were dwindling rapidly.

Wooyoung was absent, and Mingi had to leave school early for a family emergency, leaving you to face the downpour alone. To make matters worse, you had forgotten your umbrella and raincoat again, a rookie mistake that left you feeling like a complete idiot.

You sighed deeply, hoping against hope that the rain would subside, but it only grew heavier as the minutes passed. After waiting for over an hour, you realised you couldn't stay in school forever.

With a resigned determination, you wrapped your arms around yourself and braced for the inevitable.

Running out into the torrential rain, you were immediately drenched, and your vision blurred as the water streamed down your face. It was a miserable situation, and you cursed your bad luck.

Like the idiot you were, you ended up tripping over something on the ground, scraping your knee painfully on the wet pavement. The pain was sharp, and you couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in your eyes.

You've got to be kidding me, can this day get any worse?

As you sat there in the pouring rain, nursing your injured knee, a shadow appeared in front of you. An umbrella was unfurled above your drenched body, shielding you from the relentless rain, and a hand was extended toward you.

You looked up in surprise, your vision still blurred by raindrops, and to your astonishment, it was San who stood before you.

The last person you expected to come to your aid.

"Need some help?" He asked, his voice surprisingly gentle.

You hesitated for a moment, torn between your ingrained rivalry and your need for assistance. But the pain in your knee and the relentless downpour pushed you to accept his help.

You reached out and took his hand, allowing him to help you up from the wet ground.

As you stood under the umbrella he provided, you felt a strange mixture of gratitude and disbelief because it was San, of all people, who had come to your rescue in your moment of need.

He walked you to the nearest bus stop, offering some protection against the relentless rain. Surprisingly, he was gentle as he helped you sit down and examine your scraped knee. You instinctively pulled away, insisting that you were fine, but he was undeterred.

He knelt down beside you, a look of genuine concern in his eyes.

The sight of him worrying and caring about you was so foreign that you wondered if this was the same Choi San you had known all along.

"Let me take a look." He said softly, reaching out to inspect your scraped knee.

Reluctantly, you allowed him to examine the injury.

He was surprisingly gentle, his touch careful to avoid causing you any more pain. It was a stark contrast to the way he had treated you in the past, and it left you feeling perplexed.

San reached into his bag and pulled out a bandaid, holding it up for you to see, "I always carry a few of these just in case." He explained.

You watched as he helped you apply the bandaid, his actions careful and considerate. Despite your reservations and the history of animosity between you, there was no denying that his concern was genuine.

Looking at him more closely now, you never fully appreciated how handsome San truly was. His slightly damp hair from the rain, coupled with the intense look of concentration on his face as he tried not to cause you more pain, proved to be more appealing than you had expected.

You couldn't believe this, he was making your heart race.

As he finished applying the bandaid, you wondered who this person was and what he had done to the real Choi San.

The conflicting emotions within you made it clear that things were far from simple, and you found yourself questioning your long-held animosity towards him.

After the unexpected kindness from San during the rainstorm and the way he had treated you lately, you felt confused and conflicted. It was a stark departure from the rivalry and animosity that had defined your relationship for so long.

Seeking some perspective, you decided to talk to Mingi about the vice president's sudden change in attitude. As you both lounged in your favourite spot in the school courtyard, you hesitantly broached the topic.

"Mingi, have you noticed how different San has been lately?" You asked, trying to make sense of your feelings.

Your best friend, ever the optimist, offered a reassuring smile.

"Maybe he's just grown tired of the rivalry too, buttercup. People change, you know? Perhaps he's realised that it's best to act civil and put the past behind us."

While Mingi's words were comforting, you still struggled with your emotions. The disdain you had for San had been ingrained in you for so long that accepting his sudden kindness and change of heart was a challenge.

A small part of you resented him for making you feel this way, for shaking the foundation of your long-held beliefs about him.

It was difficult to let go of the past and embrace the possibility of a different relationship with someone you had considered your rival for so long.

A small part of you worried about the possible evil intentions behind his change. The uncertainty left you feeling torn between your deep-seated animosity and the possibility of a new beginning.

As time went on, you continued to receive more and more endearing gifts from your secret admirer. The notes accompanying these gifts became sweeter with each passing day, and it was clear that this mystery person knew you well.

The thoughtful gestures brought a smile to your face, brightening your days and making you feel cherished.

Oddly enough, the timing of these gifts seemed to align with Wooyoung's actions in a way that left you wondering. Many of the surprises were things that he had observed you enjoying or had casually mentioned in conversation.

As a result, rumours began to circulate among your classmates, and the popular theory was that the baseball club president was your secret admirer.

The idea filled you with hope and a flutter of excitement.

The thought that Wooyoung might be the one behind these gestures made your heart race, and you couldn't help but imagine a future where you could be with him.

However, amid this whirlwind of gifts and speculations, San's behaviour remained an enigma.

He was still working on redeeming himself in your eyes, often intervening whenever you and Wooyoung seemed to get closer. It was as if he couldn't stand the thought of you and his best friend becoming a couple.

His actions left you perplexed.

You wondered what had prompted his newfound determination to change. The more he tried to insert himself into your life, the more it fueled your curiosity about the true nature of his intentions.

As the days passed, you found yourself caught between the allure of the secret admirer's gifts and the complicated dynamics between you, Wooyoung, and San. The mysteries and complexities of your high school life continued to unfold, leaving you in a state of both excitement and confusion.

Today, you were on a school trip to the museum for the history class.

The class was filled with a sense of anticipation and curiosity that seemed to revolve around you and Wooyoung.

Everyone around you, including Mingi, seemed to be paying close attention to your interactions with the baseball club president. It was as if they were fully convinced that he was your secret admirer.

You hadn't exactly been oblivious to the little squeals your classmates would occasionally let out whenever Wooyoung did something sweet, like draping his blazer over you when it was cold or taking his time to patiently explain what you didn't understand as you walked through the exhibit together.

San, on the other hand, trailed behind the crowd with a sour expression.

The vice president of the baseball club disliked the sight of you and his best friend getting so close. The rumours and speculations had reached their peak, and he couldn't hide his frustration.

When the group settled down for lunch at the museum cafe, you found yourself sitting with Wooyoung, Mingi, and a few other members of the baseball club.

San, unfortunately, had no choice but to mix with other classmates since your table was already full.

During the meal, your friends couldn't resist teasing the club president about his attentiveness to you, jokingly asking when he was going to reveal himself as the secret admirer. Wooyoung blushed from the teasing, and you stared at him, curiosity and anticipation building within you.

With a slight smile, Wooyoung bit his lip and locked eyes with you.

"Must I be the secret admirer for you to like me?" He asked, his voice soft but filled with a hint of vulnerability, "What if I tell you, I'm not that person?"

The revelation hung in the air, leaving everyone at the table shocked and speechless. You, in particular, felt overwhelmed by the unexpected turn of events. You had been so convinced that he was your secret admirer, and now it seemed that the truth was something entirely different.

The mystery had deepened, and you were left wondering who could be behind the thoughtful gifts and gestures that had captured your heart.

As the shock of Wooyoung's revelation settled in, you felt a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts swirling within you. It was a perplexing mix of confusion, disappointment, and self-reflection.

Initially, you had been so convinced that Wooyoung was your secret admirer, and the prospect of that idea had excited you to no end.

But now, faced with the truth that he wasn't the one behind the anonymous gifts and sweet notes, you found yourself questioning why you had been so upset.

You realised that you had allowed your feelings for Wooyoung to become entangled with the idea of him being the secret admirer. It was as if you had equated your affection for him with the mysterious gestures and thoughtfulness of the anonymous person.

In reality, your crush on Wooyoung had been based on his kind actions and his charming personality, not on the deep connection that you thought you had developed because of the secret admirer's gestures.

Deep down, you couldn't deny that you felt a stronger connection to the secret admirer, as it seemed like this person knew you better than anyone else.

The gifts and notes had felt personal as if they were tailored to your likes and preferences. It made you question the authenticity of your feelings for Wooyoung, realising that they might have been built on a more superficial foundation.

As you grappled with these conflicting emotions, you told yourself that your feelings for Wooyoung should be independent and not dependent on what the secret admirer did or didn't do.

Wooyoung was, after all, his own person and your feelings for him should be based on who he was, not on the anonymous acts of kindness that had momentarily clouded your judgement.

After a moment of silence that seemed to weigh heavily on both of you, you could see a slight hint of disappointment in his eyes.

You couldn't let this moment pass without addressing his question.

"I'm sorry, Woo," You began, your voice soft and apologetic, "I do like you, I really do. But I need to find out who the person behind the anonymous gifts and notes is first, it's important to me."

His expression shifted, and he forced a smile, "I understand," He replied, his voice filled with understanding, "Take your time. I'll be here, waiting for your answer."

Mingi, who had been quietly observing the exchange, sensed your discomfort and decided to step in. He offered his gratitude to Wooyoung for taking care of you so far and claimed that he would take over looking out for you after lunch.

The tension in the air seemed to dissipate.

You were grateful for the understanding and support of both Wooyoung and Mingi. It was a complicated situation, but you were determined to unravel the mystery of your secret admirer and figure out where your heart truly belonged.

As the teacher continued explaining the historical artefacts at the museum, you found it increasingly difficult to focus.

Your mind was still trying to digest the fact that Wooyoung was not your secret admirer, and the revelation had left you feeling somewhat distracted.

Lost in your thoughts, you suddenly felt a presence beside you.

It was San, and he couldn't resist teasing you for not paying attention. His playful jab was enough to snap you out of your trance, and he challenged you to a quiz to see who could answer more questions correctly.

At first, you hesitated, still feeling a bit overwhelmed by the recent turn of events.

However, his persistence and friendly competitiveness eventually won you over. You accepted his challenge, and together, you both started paying closer attention to the teacher's explanations.

As the quiz progressed, you found yourself engaged and focused, eager to prove your knowledge. San's enthusiasm and determination were contagious, and he pushed you to think critically about the artefacts and their historical significance.

In the end, the quiz ended in a draw, with both of you answering an impressive number of questions correctly.

You were touched by his effort to help you get back on track and stay engaged in the lesson. It was a small gesture, but it made you realise that maybe, just maybe, your rivalry could turn into something different.

The bus ride back to school after the museum trip had ended found you somehow seated in the final row between Wooyoung and San. Mingi couldn't resist throwing you sly glances, wiggling his brows in a playful manner. You scoffed and rolled your eyes at his antics, trying your best to ignore him.

As the journey continued, the rhythmic motion of the bus and the hum of the engine started to lull you to sleep.

Your eyelids grew heavy, and soon enough, your head swayed and landed on Wooyoung's shoulder, causing a few students to let out affectionate coos at the sight.

San, however, had other plans.

He gently moved your head from Wooyoung's shoulder over to his own, a small, smug smile playing on his lips as he watched you unconsciously snuggle closer to him.

Mingi, sitting nearby, widened his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, making a mental note to tell you about this later.

Wooyoung, on the other hand, looked away and focused his gaze out the window, his expression unreadable but clearly upset. It seemed like both San and Wooyoung were having an internal battle between themselves, each trying to win your attention and affection in their own way.

The tension between the two of them simmered beneath the surface, creating an unspoken rivalry that was beginning to take a toll on their friendship.

In the days following the museum trip, Wooyoung seemed to sense your need for some space and gave you a bit of room to sort through your feelings and thoughts.

The revelation that he wasn't your secret admirer had left you somewhat confused, and you found yourself wanting to uncover the mystery more than ever.

Mingi, always full of wild ideas, suggested that it could be San who was behind the anonymous gifts, especially considering his recent drastic change in behaviour toward you.

It wasn't entirely impossible, but you couldn't bring yourself to believe it.

After all, the gifts had started arriving when you and San were still rivals, and he had even mocked you for receiving them, insinuating that you might be sending them to yourself. The idea that he could be your secret admirer just didn't add up in your mind, and you were adamant that it couldn't be him.

There's no way in hell it could be Choi San.

As you sat alone on the bleachers one day, deep in thought, San suddenly appeared beside you, holding a carton of your favourite chocolate milk.

Your eyes widened in surprise.

The chocolate milk had become a special symbol of your connection with the secret admirer, and it left you wondering how San could possibly know about it.

He offered you the carton with a casual smile, his gaze meeting yours as if he had something important to say. The puzzle pieces in your mind began to shift.

Holy crap, could he be..?

"I found this on your desk, I'm guessing your secret admirer must have left it there." You let out a sigh of relief, realising that, of course, he couldn't have been the one behind this gesture.

He was just being friendly and helpful.

As he settled down beside you, he noticed the contemplative expression on your face and asked, "What's on your mind?"

You wondered when it had all begun, this change in his demeanour towards you. He was treating you so casually, almost like friends, and it left you both intrigued and perplexed.

But you chose not to voice your thoughts out loud, not wanting to risk a quarrel with him.

Instead, you decided to be honest and opened up about your problem with the secret admirer, "It's the thing with my secret admirer... It sucks but it bothers me that it isn't Wooyoung. I just can't figure out why I'm so disappointed by the truth. I guess I just... really wanted it to be him."

To your surprise, San offered you genuine advice.

"If you're disappointed that it's not Wooyoung," He began, "Maybe it's because he's not the one you truly like. Perhaps it's the secret admirer that you really want to be with."

His words struck a chord with you, and you couldn't help but ponder them. His insights were unexpected, and you found yourself considering whether your feelings for Wooyoung had been based on the wrong foundation all along.

It was a moment of introspection that left you with more questions than answers, but at least now, you had someone to discuss them with.

"Tell you what, I'll help you find out who this mysterious person is."

San's willingness to help you figure out the identity of your secret admirer took you by surprise. After all, it was San who had initially ridiculed you for receiving these anonymous gifts and had even been quite mean about it.

You expressed your genuine astonishment, turning to him with wide eyes, "You're really willing to help me with this?" You asked, still somewhat taken aback by his sudden change of heart.

He looked at you, his expression softening with a touch of guilt.

He admitted, "I shouldn't have said those mean words back then. I didn't mean them, and I wish I could take them back if it were possible."

His sincere apology caught you off guard, and you could see the regret in his eyes. You appreciated his honesty and his willingness to make amends, and you were thankful for his apology.

With San by your side, offering to help uncover the mystery of your secret admirer, you wondered if there was more to him than the rivalry that had defined your relationship until now. It was a surprising turn of events, and you were beginning to see a different side of him—one that left you curious and intrigued.

"Hey, San. Be honest with me, why the sudden change in attitude?"

Your curiosity got the better of you, and you finally mustered the courage to address the elephant in the room.

You observed him closely as you posed the question, watching as he attempted to keep his facial expression neutral. It was clear that he was holding back a lot when he finally answered.

"I guess I just... realised how childish I'd been the whole time," He began, his voice measured, "And I grew tired of all the unnecessary fighting between us. I also should've said this earlier but I... I'm really sorry for the way I've acted in the past, I know I was a complete jerk."

His words seemed plausible, but there was something in his eyes that suggested there might be more to the story. It wasn't entirely the truth, but you chose not to press further, not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable.

Instead, you accepted his explanation and appreciated his efforts to change for the better. It was a step towards building a more cordial relationship, and you were willing to see where it would lead.

As he had promised, he diligently assisted you in unravelling the mystery of your secret admirer. Consequently, the two of you ended up spending more time together than initially anticipated, and through this process, you gained a deeper understanding of him.

You came to recognise that when San set his mind to it, he could be just as caring and attentive as Wooyoung.

At this point, you had lost track of how many times he had managed to evoke emotions in you that you had once believed only his best friend could elicit.

The Choi San you now knew was a stark departure from the person you had first encountered, but you had no complaints about the transformation.

It wasn't until that one fateful day that you truly grasped the depth of your feelings for him.

'Hey buttercup, soz I can't walk home with you today. Got a meeting with my project groupmates, I'll see you at dinner tonight.' - Princess Minki💕

As you prepared to leave school, a sigh escaped your lips upon receiving Mingi's text about his meeting with his project groupmates, you resigned yourself to the idea of walking home alone. You didn't want to bother Wooyoung since he had been giving you space lately.

However, to your surprise, when you reached the school gates, you found San standing there, waiting.

You blinked in confusion, "San? Why are you here?"

He smiled, "I'm waiting for you. I saw Mingi leaving with his groupmates, so I thought I'd wait and walk you home."

Your heart did a little flip at his unexpected kindness, "Oh, you really don't have to do that," You said, genuinely touched by his gesture. But he insisted, his tone firm, "I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you while you walked home alone. It's the least I can do."

With a grateful smile, you nodded, feeling a warmth in your chest at the realisation that perhaps your relationship with San was slowly evolving into something more.

During your walk home with him, every step seemed to resonate with a sense of closeness that went beyond mere friendship.

The world around you faded into insignificance as he held the umbrella over both of you, sheltering you from the gentle drizzle that had started. The soft pattering of raindrops on the umbrella's surface created a soothing backdrop to your conversation.

His attention to detail was astonishing, like the way he would glance at you out of the corner of his eye when he thought you weren't looking, his gaze filled with a warmth that sent shivers down your spine.

Each shared joke felt like a secret shared between the two of you, a bond that was growing stronger with every laugh.

And when your bag slipped from your shoulder, hitting the ground with a thud, you expected to bend down to pick it up yourself, but before you could react, he had already swooped down to retrieve it for you.

His act of chivalry caught you off guard, making your heart skip a beat. It was these seemingly insignificant moments that left you questioning the nature of your feelings.

As your steps echoed in rhythm with his, you felt a magnetic pull towards him, and your thoughts began to revolve around this unexpected connection that was steadily blossoming between you two.

Without realising it, your focus gradually shifted entirely to San when you were with him. Unlike with Wooyoung, your thoughts no longer wandered to the mysterious secret admirer.

He had a unique way of capturing your full attention, and you found yourself drawn to him in a way you hadn't expected. It was a surprising development that left you in a state of denial about the butterflies he was stirring in your heart.

As you neared your home, engrossed in a conversation with him, you didn't notice the car that swerved dangerously close to the sidewalk. It happened in the blink of an eye, and before you could even react, San sprang into immediate action.

"Watch out!"

In an instant, he had wrapped his arms around you, shielding you from the potential crash.

Time seemed to slow down as you felt his strong, protective embrace. Your heart pounded in your chest, and the world around you blurred into insignificance as you found yourself pressed against his chest.

Once the danger had passed, you slowly pulled away, your breaths coming in shallow gasps.

You stared up at San, your eyes wide with a mixture of emotions. At first, you had feared for his safety, but now, as you gazed into his eyes, you felt your heart racing for an entirely different reason.

His eyes locked with yours, so full of emotion that it left you breathless. It was as if he had been so afraid of you being in harm's way, and that depth of concern was something you had never expected.

At that moment, everything seemed to change between you.

The world around you regained its focus, and you realised that you were still standing on the sidewalk, in the arms of the person who had just saved you from potential danger.

It was a powerful, intense moment that left your heart racing and your mind in turmoil as you tried to make sense of the emotions swirling within you.

The next morning, as you walked to school with Mingi, your heart was still racing from the previous day's encounter with San. The memory of his protective embrace and the intense moment that had followed played over and over in your mind.

As you approached the school gates, you scanned the crowd, looking for any sign of San.

It was almost as if your subconscious was seeking out his presence. And then, like a scene from a movie, you spotted him coming your way from the opposite direction.

Your breath caught in your throat as he drew closer, a warm smile spreading across his face, "Good morning." He greeted you, his voice friendly and genuine.

"Morning." You managed to reply, feeling a strange mix of excitement and nervousness.

San continued on his way, walking alongside Wooyoung, who had been right beside him the entire time. It was at that moment that you realised something shocking: you hadn't even noticed Wooyoung's presence until now.

The realisation hit you like a truck.

It wasn't Wooyoung who had occupied your thoughts, even when he was right next to San. It was San himself who had captured your attention, making you question your feelings and priorities.

You couldn't pinpoint exactly when it all started, but the vice president of the baseball club had somehow become a constant presence in your thoughts. And you had lost track of how many times your heart had fluttered just from catching a glimpse of him.

Almost everything seemed to trigger thoughts of San, and you now realise that these were reactions even Wooyoung couldn't elicit from you during the time you were crushing on him.

Mingi observed you quietly, having heard about what had happened with San the previous day.

He chose to remain silent, knowing that you needed time and space to process your thoughts and emotions. As your best friend, he wanted you to find clarity in your feelings, whatever they may be.

As you entered the classroom with Mingi, your eyes were immediately drawn to your desk, where your favourite chocolate milk sat, accompanied by the usual heartfelt note.

But this time, the note held a surprise.

It didn't contain the usual sweet message; instead, it instructed you to meet up on the rooftop during lunch break.

Your heart raced as you read the note, your eyes widening in astonishment. Your secret admirer was finally revealing themselves, taking the first step towards unveiling their identity.

You couldn't believe it was happening, and a sense of excitement mixed with nervousness coursed through you.

Showing the note to Mingi, you both exchanged wide-eyed glances, realising that the moment you had been waiting for had finally arrived.

It should have filled you with happiness, but deep down, a conflicted feeling gnawed at your heart. You couldn't believe that, despite all your initial reluctance, you found yourself secretly wishing that your secret admirer would turn out to be San.

Everything about him screamed that he couldn't possibly be the one behind the anonymous gifts and sweet notes.

But as determination welled up within you, you considered the possibility of rejecting your secret admirer, someone you had admired from a distance, in favour of someone you had never imagined having feelings for; San.

The thought left you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions as you prepared for the lunchtime rendezvous on the rooftop, unsure of what lay ahead.

The rest of the morning went by in a blur, you hadn't even the slightest clue what Mr. Kim had taught you all in class.

"You can do this, buttercup!"

Mingi encourages, pulling you in for a quick hug before he pushes you towards the staircase leading up to the school rooftop.

Anxiety gripped your heart as you made your way up to the rooftop, each step echoing your pounding heartbeat. You couldn't believe the moment had finally arrived to meet the person who had been behind all the gifts and notes that had brightened your days for the past few months.

Your mind raced with questions, doubts, and a flutter of hope.

As you reached the rooftop door, you hesitated for a moment before pushing it open. The anticipation in the air was palpable, and you could hardly contain the whirlwind of emotions churning inside you.

Your heart nearly stopped when you stepped onto the rooftop, your eyes falling upon the back of a familiar figure.

A sense of suspense hung heavy in the air, and you couldn't bring yourself to move or speak just yet. The person slowly turned around, and as their face came into view, your heart sank.

It was... Wooyoung.

Your disappointment was palpable as you uttered, "Oh, it's you," in a tone that betrayed your shattered expectations. You couldn't control your reaction, and it hurt to know that it wasn't the person you had secretly hoped for.

Unfortunately for you, Wooyoung had seen your reaction clearly.

He smiled sadly, a mixture of understanding and acceptance in his eyes. He had come here not to reveal himself as your secret admirer but to confirm that you didn't return his feelings so that he could finally move on.

Realising that you had hurt him with your reaction, you immediately apologised, "God, I'm so sorry, Woo. I didn't mean to sound disappointed."

Wooyoung's smile remained gentle as he reassured you, "It's fine, really. I understand."

He took a step closer to you and spoke softly, "But I think you should know that I'm not the one who has been sending you those gifts and notes."

Confusion and curiosity washed over you as you turned to face him, your heart pounding in your chest, "Then who is it?" You asked, unable to hide the eagerness in your voice.

Wooyoung smiled once more, but this time, his gaze drifted past you, "Your secret admirer is standing right behind you."

Your heart raced as you turned around slowly, each second feeling like an eternity as you wished desperately for it to be the person you'd come to secretly hope for.

Suspense hung in the air, almost suffocating, as you finally set your eyes on the figure standing there.

And then, you saw him.

Choi San.

Your heart soared at the sight of him, holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hands. His smile was so sweet that it melted your heart, and you couldn't believe the person you had once despised could be your secret admirer.

Wooyoung, having fulfilled his own purpose, discreetly left you two alone for some privacy.

San walked up to you slowly, a playful "surprise" escaping his lips as he presented the bouquet to you. You accepted it shyly, your fingers brushing against the delicate petals, but you couldn't help the flood of questions that overwhelmed your mind.

Sitting together on the bench on the rooftop, you looked at him with a mixture of astonishment and confusion, "Is this some kind of prank?" You asked cautiously, your guard still up despite the sincerity in his eyes.

He shook his head gently, his gaze unwavering, "No, I promise you, this is not a prank," He assured you softly, his eyes locked with yours, "It really has been me all this time."

A wave of disbelief washed over you.

The person who had once been your rival, who had teased and challenged you relentlessly, was the same person who had been secretly showing you kindness and affection.

The contrast was staggering.

As you looked into his eyes, you couldn't believe how you had misunderstood him for so long, and why he had chosen to hide his true feelings behind the guise of a secret admirer.

There were so many questions, but one thing was clear: your perception of Choi San was about to change in ways you couldn't have imagined.

It was time to clear the air, to understand the mystery behind the secret admirer you had come to appreciate and admire, "Okay," You began, your voice tinged with scepticism, "You need to explain everything, from the beginning. How did this all start?"

San sighed, his eyes focused on the ground for a moment before meeting yours with a hint of regret.

"I guess it all started on that first day," He confessed, "It's true that I was having a really bad day when you bumped into me, I was actually going to apologise for being rude. But then you responded with so much feistiness that it intrigued me. I've never met a girl as gutsy as you, and I found it... attractive."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Wait, you found it attractive when I fought back?"

He chuckled, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

"Yeah, I did. I was disappointed when you didn't react the way I expected during your first visit to the baseball club. I thought you'd fight back, but you left so timidly. So, I decided to ignore you the next time I saw you, hoping it would get a reaction out of you."

Your mind was reeling from this revelation.

The rivalry between you two had been initiated because he enjoyed seeing you argue back. It was a strange reason, but it explained a lot about his behaviour.

"So, you admired me because of our arguments?"

He nodded, a sheepish smile playing on his lips, "Yes, I admired your spirit and intelligence. But I also realised I couldn't express my admiration openly because of our rivalry. So, I chose to become your secret admirer."

You laughed at the irony of it all, "Wow, this is so unexpected. I thought you just enjoyed tormenting me," He grinned, a glint of mischief in his eyes, "Well, that was part of it. But there's more to it than just that."

As you continued to talk, you realised that the person you had once viewed as your rival had harboured feelings of admiration and attraction towards you all along.

San shifted uncomfortably on the bench, his expression more serious now, "There's... something else too." He began, his gaze fixed on the bouquet of flowers you held.

Your curiosity was piqued once again, "What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I... I know I stopped leaving you the notes and gifts at some point." You immediately knew what he was referring to, remembering how upset you had been.

He glanced at you, his eyes filled with a hint of remorse, "It was around the time I overheard Mingi teasing you about your crush on Wooyoung. It saddened me because I thought maybe it was time for you to focus on being with him."

You furrowed your brow, surprised by this revelation, "You stopped because of that?"

He nodded, his expression conflicted, "Yes. I didn't want to stand in the way of you and Wooyoung, especially since he's my best friend."

His lips curled into a small, self-deprecating smile, "And that's where I messed up. I thought it was a selfless act, but then I saw how upset you were at the absence of the gifts, and I decided to tease you about it. I wanted to see your reaction, and that's when I realised I really hurt your feelings."

Your eyes widened as you recalled that particular encounter, "I was genuinely angry that day," He nodded, his gaze downcast, "I deserved it. I realised that's not how you treat someone you like."

You both sat in silence for a moment, the weight of his confession sinking in. It all made sense now, that was the point when he had suddenly started being nicer to you.

It was clear that San had been struggling with his feelings and the situation had become even more complicated when he saw you growing closer to Wooyoung, just like everyone else, believing he was your secret admirer.

The jealousy he had felt was something he hadn't expected.

"But... why didn't you just talk to me about your feelings?" You finally asked, your voice soft. He sighed, his shoulders slumping, "I guess I was scared. Scared that if I revealed everything, I might lose our friendship, and I couldn't bear the thought of that."

You reached out and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "San, you don't have to be scared anymore. We can figure this out together."

He looked up at you, his eyes reflecting a mix of relief and gratitude, "Thank you for understanding."

With your newfound understanding, you both continued your conversation, unravelling the complexities of your relationship and the unexpected twists and turns that had brought you to this moment.

The rooftop seemed to hold its breath as you absorbed all that San had shared with you.

The weight of the past few months, the ups and downs, the misunderstandings, and the revelations hung in the air. It was as though a puzzle had finally been pieced together, and you could see the bigger picture clearly now.

As you took a deep breath, you noticed that San was fidgeting, his gaze shifting between your eyes and the ground. There was something he needed to say or do, and the anticipation gnawed at you.

Finally, you couldn't contain your curiosity any longer.

"San," You began gently, "Is there something else on your mind?"

He looked up, meeting your eyes with a mixture of nervousness and determination. His voice was a bit shaky as he spoke, "Actually, there's one more thing I need to ask."

Your heart raced as you waited for him to continue, wondering what else could possibly be left unsaid after everything you'd discussed.

With a deep breath, he scooted closer to you, his eyes locking onto yours, "I've liked you for a long time now, and I've realised that I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to be with you. So, um... Would you be willing to be my girlfriend?"

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding loudly in your chest.

This was the moment you had never expected but secretly hoped for. You looked into his earnest eyes, and a warmth spread through you, washing away any lingering doubts or hesitations.

A smile broke across your face, and it was filled with genuine happiness, "Yes, San. I'd love to be your girlfriend."

His expression shifted from nervousness to pure joy, a radiant smile matching yours. He reached for your hand, and you willingly entwined your fingers with his, sealing the moment.

It felt as though the weight of all the misunderstandings, rivalry, and secrets had been lifted, leaving behind a newfound connection and the promise of something beautiful between you and Choi San.

As your hands remained entwined and the smile lingered on your faces, he felt a surge of happiness and anticipation. The rooftop, once a place filled with secrets and uncertainties, was now a witness to the beginning of something new.

He leaned in closer, his heart pounding louder with each inch he closed. The moment felt right, and he was ready to kiss you, to seal this new chapter between you two. But just as he was about to close the gap, you suddenly asked another question, pulling him back from the brink of that sweet, anticipated moment.

"Wait," You said with a curious expression, "So, Wooyoung knew about you being my secret admirer this whole time?"

San blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected interruption. He chuckled at your inquisitiveness, "Well," He began, "Not exactly. He found out on the day of the school trip when my jealousy got the best of me."

You chuckled along with him, realising how strange and tangled the web of emotions and secrets had become. He continued, "We decided to have a fair competition from then on, letting you be the one to choose who you liked more."

Your laughter filled the rooftop as you shook your head in disbelief at the absurdity of it all, "I can't believe all this drama happened behind the scenes."

He grinned, his thumb gently caressing your hand, "Life's full of surprises. But hey, at least it all worked out in the end."

With that, he leaned in once more, and this time, there were no more interruptions. Your lips met, sealing your newfound relationship with a sweet and memorable kiss.

On that rooftop, amidst the laughter and revelations, you and San found the beginning of something beautiful, free from rivalry and filled with the promise of love.

As the days turned into weeks, your relationship with San blossomed, and soon enough, you became the talk of the school.

The first time the students saw you both showing up hand in hand, they gasped in disbelief. Whispers and surprised glances followed your every move. But the attention didn't faze you or San; you were too wrapped up in each other to care.

San became a constant presence in your life.

He'd walk you to your first-period class, bending down to plant a gentle kiss on your lips before heading to his own. During lunch breaks, he'd wait for you patiently, and you'd share meals and laughter with Mingi, whose perpetual presence as the third wheel now felt like an integral part of your daily life.

Wooyoung, once a central figure in your life, gracefully accepted your rejection. He moved on, finding happiness elsewhere, and he was genuinely happy for you and his best friend.

The baseball club's dynamics might have shifted slightly, but it remained as strong as ever, with you visiting occasionally to watch their practices and games.

Your relationship with San brought not only love but also newfound friendships.

San and Mingi grew exceptionally close, despite your boyfriend's initial annoyance at your best friend's constant presence. The two eventually bonded over their shared affection for you and their mutual admiration for each other.

With each passing day, your connection with San deepened, and you found yourself falling in love with him more and more. The days of rivalry were long behind you, replaced by a sweet romance that left you both feeling fortunate to have found each other.

On a bright, sunny afternoon, you and your boyfriend found yourselves on the school rooftop, enjoying a cute little picnic date. The rooftop had become your special spot, a place where you could escape the hustle and bustle of school life and just be together.

As you laid out a checkered blanket, he couldn't resist stealing a sweet kiss from your lips. Your laughter filled the air, and you playfully pushed him away before retreating into his warm embrace.

His fingers gently traced patterns on your arm as he gazed into your eyes, a look of pure adoration on his face.

San, his eyes soft and contemplative, looked out over the campus below before turning his gaze toward you, "You know, I've been thinking... Would you have liked me if I hadn't riled you up so much when we first met?"

Your smile widened as you considered his question.

It was true; your initial encounters with San were filled with endless banter and rivalry. But as you thought back on those moments, you realised something profound.

"Ooh, that's an interesting question. Honestly, a part of me is glad you did. It made your presence known, and, well, quite impactful," He smirked, "Impactful, huh? So, you miss those days of constant teasing and rivalry?"

Your heart skipped a beat as you weighed your response carefully.

The truth was, while those early days had been filled with challenges and unknowing sparks flying between you two, you wouldn't trade the bond you now shared for anything else.

Shaking your head, you responded, "Not at all! I much prefer the sweet boyfriend you are now."

His eyes sparkled with affection as he inched closer to you. He couldn't resist the warmth of your words and the love that radiated from your gaze. Tenderly, he cupped your cheek and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

"God, I love you so much." He whispered against your lips.

Your heart swelled with happiness, and in that intimate rooftop setting, your love was sealed with a sweet, lingering kiss.

But just as the romantic atmosphere began to envelop you both, a loud groan interrupted your moment, "Jesus Christ! Get a room, you two! We're in school, for Pete's sake!"

You rolled your eyes and snapped your head up to see your best friend standing at the entrance to the rooftop, grinning mischievously despite the complaints as he approached with a familiar carton of your favourite chocolate milk in hand.

"Surprise!" Mingi announced, offering you the coveted treat, "I thought you might want this."

You laughed as you accepted the milk, realising that even on your private date, Mingi managed to insert himself into the picture. It was one of those quirks that made your friendship all the more special.

With the three of you now lounging on the rooftop, surrounded by the warmth of friendship and newfound love, Mingi couldn't help but reflect on how drastically things had changed.

He spoke with a playful tone, "You know, it's kind of funny. You two were literally at each other's throats for as long as I can remember. And now, look at you, all in love with each other."

You and San shared a fond look, both realising that sometimes, the most unexpected journeys lead to the most beautiful destinations. As you cuddled close, basking in the joy of the present moment, you knew that your love story was a testament to the power of change, friendship, and the unexpected.

Your love story had its share of twists and turns, but in the end, it was a tale of two hearts finding their way to each other, against all odds.

Well damn, this turned out slightly longer than I'd planned.

Anyway, hope y'all liked this! Thank you for reading and as always, I'd love to hear all your thoughts on the story so feel free to leave as many replies as you want! <3

Also, do let me know if you wish to be added to the permanent tag list for all my works (or if you wish to be removed, I'd understand).

Tag list: @aurasblue @marievllr-abg

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

[adoregojo]

✘ unrequited love

summary: loves echoes through the darkness, yet there's no light to erase it.

or

↝ they like you, you don't seem to share the bits of it.

context: unrequited love, angst no comfort, !!gn reader!!, angst and also angst, mention of blood, character: isagi, bachira, nagi, rin.

Isagi.y

he felt his heart break a bit, didn't shatter. just a little crack that made him lose his breathing track for a second.

he has to take a step back from you, to 'comprehend’ it, and by that he means living his ordinary road, just with a new layer of wretchedness. He really tried going on his old ways, yet his attempts were futile. He wouldn't utter a tune on breakfast with his family, his friends would ask him why he stuck to the mud all of a sudden, he would woolgather like there was a castle in the sky, in class, in practice to the locker room.

he would walk back home, stare at the mirror, and surveyed his features. fingers crossed his face, did he perhaps not fit the standards? more importantly, your standards? he does realize that he wasn't that much of an eye candy, but he definitely wasn't an eyesore either. did he look too basic? he’ve always been told that by his teammates一yet you always told him that they're just jealous that they don't carry the most splendid, navy blue pairs of eyes around really一god, he really missed you.

he tried, he really did try to connect the puzzle, solve it to get the idea out of your mind. laying in bed with his hands behind his head, his ceiling seems to be the most interesting thing to ever exist. Was he not your ideal type? you always told him that as long as heart remains genial, it’d be good enough. did his heart come out as ruthless? well, it's not like his behavior on the field is helping.

it took him a good long days to get it, this was not a game he could fathom in a blink, this was you. he can't change what you think of him, he can't force you to see him as the almighty devotion defines that he sees you as, he can't make you love him, as much as he wishes and prays to. for once, this isn't something that his ego could grasp on, even for his sake.

he asks you to be friends again, if you were kind enough to agree, he'd be willing to get on his knees, thanking what you had left of sympathy for him. even if life never came back like it used to, as long as you're by his side, it's not the end of the world just yet.

isagi could just wish, you’d somehow discern a new corner in your heart that’ll behold as a sense of love for him, for what he had of selfishness clinging onto him, for what he had of undying love for you.

Bachira.m

he really, lived and witnessed the world ending through his eyes and mostly his heart.

to put it mildly, bachira have always been out of place. to other people, he didn't seem to reach out of his weird spot he somehow earned. you were nice though, the nicest person he had ever met, you were his special place, and the safest of all. his favorite flower and the references to cross his brush over the pearly white papers. and with all the cheesiest in the world一his universe.

it was an unyielding thing to not catch feelings for you, his ever first friend that didn't feel ashamed when hearing his name beside yours, till he found himself wanting more than just that title, for you to be his better half sounded like a paradise blessing pouring on him.

there would be dreams where he'd finally get to press his lips against yours, it's too good to be true, the warmth and the dizziness, the sweet flavor against his lips was making his mind melt to a pool, made him heat up like he was standing above a low steam stone, he wanted more, till he'd fell unconscious in your arms from the lack of air, never ever wanting it to come to an end, yet I'll eventually burn to ashes.

he never hated you, he could never. even when you uttered the words of rejection that came like a keen pain right up his chest. it hurts, more than any punch, kick or insult he'd receive. his wheel of life seemed to diminish, and his eyes began to water.

a part of him knew this was coming, even when you became something of him, there will always be a sound whispering how inadequate he'll remain, no matter how he tries.

but hey, it's bachira. the same guy that’ll always look at the brightest side. above all, it's still love, yeah? even if you didn't return it, he was grateful that he somehow got to experience it, to pick raw flowers from the backyard with the biggest, lovesick smile glued to his face. to wake up everyday just to see you again was enough reason to leap off the bed. he was glad to say he for once, had a crush, coating the fact that his feelings got smashed to a wall. he was glad to feel any sense of true love.

your existence alone in his world was the definition of bliss, maybe he was sad because he wasn't in yours.

after all, you loving him back was too good to be true. being your friend should be an honor itself, he’ll keep on telling that to himself, till he finds the right extinguisher for the fire you lit up his heart.

Nagi. S

“sei.. I'm sorry, but I don't like you that way.”

“oh.” it was light, a tune of realization. In an instant, his eyes are empty again, the world blends to a hue of gray he knows the most, and suddenly sinking into a dreamless slumber for a whole day sounded like a brilliant idea.

“okay.” that's it, that's all he had to say before he's.. him again. he was nagi again, not the seishirou that fell smitten and starstruck, the one you made with your bare hands, the better version一the happiest version of himself.

he doesn't get a grasp on why he felt nothing at that moment, but at the same time he felt everything一it almost felt like he had an organ failure, but also his heart rate draw at halt. it was hard to put it on words一but what he knew, he definitely never, ever wants to experience anything like that again.

for the longest time, nagi always lends to your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours, it's been like this for the longest time. you and him, perhaps against the world一but really, it was more like you against the world while he immerse in your shadow.

he didn't mind. your light has always been overcasting. your smile was radiant, with your eyes aglow, he couldn't help but feel small. he was nothing against the brightest star to ablaze at him, and for the countless nights, he'd wondered一why him? nagi didn't exactly embrace the fact he was a slacker, he just tended to let it be this way, it was too much of a hassle to correct it一or maybe it was a truth that cannot be denied, who knows.

it was mostly his fault, for getting too used to you, for leaning on you like his own wheel of life. but he didn't want to let you go, it would be a pain一he was selfish after all.

nagi would slim down on your shoulder, he can feel your slightest tenseness. you were always comfortable, so comfortable that he could just be one with you.

“do you like me back yet?” he would ask, you say nothing. he’d inhale a soft sigh, snuggling onto you even more till his snowy locks kept on tickling the skin of your neck.

“that's okay, I'll stay here until you like me back.”

you again say nothing, but you’ll let him hold your hand, meshing your palms together. maybe he'll let go when his heart stops skipping a beat for you, or when the world comes to crumble, but they both end up with the same fate anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Rin.i

he knew he'll at some point regret this. wanting you of all people was a sin, a forbidden love.

despite his ears ringing, and his heart dropping to his core. he saw it coming, he would mutter that he'd be ready for it, just for it to sting like a sore thumb. it felt like he was collapsing on the ground with a pool of blood and tears, and all you’d do is watch with pity.

he felt bare, naked and exposed, he wanted to hide. he felt rejected and small. Suddenly he was fifteen again, pleading for his big brother to not leave him to rot in the cold, to not let the snow be the only source of comfort he had instead of a warm embrace.

for once, he had felt his heart swell with adoration一for a second, he didn't even have a name for that feeling, was was genuinely confident that you were making him somehow ill, there had to be a medical explanation for the mini heart attack he suffered from whenever he witnessed you at elation.

he allowed it to happen, he should've pushed you away more, he should've stood up his ground, he should've made more effort to strengthen his walls that you decayed with ease.

but what was there to wonder about the ‘what if's’ and the ‘maybe's’ yet again here he was, playing a secondary role in the ones he loved the most once again. digging his own grave stupidly.

for the first time in forever, he didn't feel like it was a challenge to love him, he didn't have to look at his reflection and grimace, he didn't have to be muddled by the name ‘itoshi sae’ this time, he was rin一your rin, was it bad that he wanted to live by that? it felt right to.

he knew he wasn't perfect, maybe even his flaws swamped over what he had of strengths. yet you seemed to admire him through it all, you looked at him like he was something一someone, he wanted to be that someone to you.

you managed to make everything look soft, feel warm. you stained his world with colors he thought he forgot the hues of it, he thinks he likes you a little too much.

for the longest time, rin was afraid he'll eat the life out of you, just like the maggots adore the flesh. seems like he was worried about nothing, because he’ll never be what he ought to be一yours.

you probably hate him, he did exclaimed hurtful things, he saw your eyes narrowing into a pained expression, it ached more than any rejection. he didn't know why, he was overwhelmed, angry and blinded by rage一and like the predictable itoshi he was. he revealed his cuspids and went for the throat.

he just wanted to hurt you back, that's what felt right at that moment. and yet as soon as he saw shedding tears running down your cheeks, satisfaction never came across, all he felt was a deep-seated regret. he felt ugly, sour and mean. and most of all, cruel.

and when rin sinks to his bed, he curls himself to a ball, hugging his knees to his chest. did his heart die already? or was he just too numb to feel anything at the moment? all he can sense is tiredness, so he closes his eyes to nothingness. where he dreams about you, with him in the summer breeze and cheap popsicles, and nothing bad happened to you and him.

sounds like a nice dream.

[leighsartworks216]

Designated Lockpicker

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Inspired by this post

Saw this and I HAD to write something about it. It only took me until 11:45 to finish it but it's okay I'll suffer the consequences

Warnings: one swear word, reference to Astarion's past abuse, mention of a terrible texture, innuendos

Word Count: 1,219

Masterlist

AO3

You poke your head into the room. Dust motes float through the air, which reeks with musk and mold. You'd probably cover your nose and seek fresh air if this wasn't the millionth time you’d smelled it.

Your eyes scan along the walls, floor and shelves, searching for anything interesting. Food would be nice - Gale wouldn’t stop pestering you for ingredients to cook with. Bandages wouldn’t hurt either if it would ease Shadowheart’s workload every time you got into a minor scrape.

The room was rather sparse, but it looked like it may have been a study at some point. Books were scattered everywhere, chairs were tipped on their sides or had broken legs, a desk was angled oddly for its placement. Whoever lived here before, they must have left in a hurry. Which was excellent news. Maybe they left something behind.

From the other rooms of the building, you can hear your companions’ muffled voices. You can only make out one or two words as they speak. Karlach seemed to be talking to Astarion; Wyll and Gale were going back and forth further away. You couldn’t hear Shadowheart or Lae’zel, but this didn’t surprise you.

The floorboards creak and groan as you step into the study. Stray beams of light keep the gloom away, for the most part. You can almost imagine how lovely it once was.

You go to take a book off the shelf, but immediately draw your hand back when the binding squishes at the slightest pressure. You scowl in disgust and wipe your hand on your pants to remove the gross sensation. Unfortunately, your more learned companions would not be getting any new reading materials today.

Against the far wall, stationed behind the desk, was a dresser with a glass case on top. All the case had was scrolls, damp and turning green. Any information they may have held was gone.

You grab the handles of each drawer in turn, sliding open the dresser to reveal its contents. A vial of ink here, another useless scroll there - nothing exciting. Until you open the bottom drawer.

Poorly hidden under some loose paper was a chest. It appeared to be made of metal, hardly rusted despite its surroundings. For its size, you were shocked how heavy it was when you lifted it out and set it on the desk just behind you. The lock didn’t look too complicated. You had some spare lockpicks in your pack, you could easily grab one and get it open. You could.

Instead, you leave the chest where it is and step into the hall. You try to listen for your friends, again, but they seem to have done deeper within the establishment. So you do the next best thing: “Astarion?”

The shout travels down the building, and from one of the rooms pops out the vampire spawn. He seemed confused why you’d be calling him of all people. But the confusion is quickly masked with suave confidence as he sauntered down the hall to you. “Yes, dear?”

You smile sweetly at him. “I found a locked chest. Could you help me open it? Please?”

He smirks and taps a finger under your chin, getting you to tilt your head upward with just one motion. “Since you asked so nicely.”

He follows you back into the room. His nose scrunches with the smell of rotting books, but the look is gone as soon as he sees the chest. You round the desk and turn it around toward him. He can’t stop his smile as you rest your arms and chin on top, still fixing him with that darling look.

This had become a habit, to his mind, anyway. For you, this was an enrichment of sorts to provide Astarion with a sense of purpose. Late night talks had made it abundantly clear just how much he loved feeling useful. For two centuries he was used, his autonomy stolen from him for the sake of his master. But little tasks like this did not feel like an imbalance in power. He would open whatever lock you wished for the praise you showered on him alone, but you also ensured he got his pick of whatever was inside. He was being rewarded for his services, something that never happened before - nothing good, anyway - and you loved giving him his moment to shine.

He just assumed you couldn’t pick a lot to save your damn life.

“I’m beginning to think you just like watching me,” he teased. He produced a pick from his pocket and began working away at the lock. “Trying to learn my trade secrets, are we?"

You hummed, looking down at his hands as they moved together fluidly. He could do this in his sleep. “Never. I just love watching you work, that’s all.”

He chuckled. “Really now?” He lifts his attention from the lock to look at you, hands pausing in their ministrations. “And what is it about my work that you enjoy so much?”

You meet his gaze. He can only describe the look you give him as fond. Love seems to rest in your irises, gleaming back at him, on display for the whole world to see. “Your hands,” you answer, and while it was supposed to be part of your playful banter, you say it so genuinely. “You’re always so precise, like you just know exactly what needs to be done before you even start. It reminds me of your embroidery.”

“And here I thought it was for more depraved reasons.” It’s a deflection. He still isn’t used to being seen like this. Seen by you. He still thinks of the way you describe how his hair curls around his ears, and how his face wrinkles when he laughs. “I’m always happy to give you a hands-on lesson, my sweet. Just say the word.”

“And if I ask for you to teach me how to embroider?”

His devious smirk relaxed into a soft grin. He nods. “It would be my honor.”

Silence takes over as he returns to his work. It’s warm and welcoming, despite your surroundings. Basking in the quiet felt easy around him. He could be reading a book, and you’d slot yourself right next to him, and never was there an expectation for him to stop to entertain you. You just wanted to be around him. It meant more to him than you could ever know.

With a final turn of the pick, a faint click comes from the chest. He seems to puff up with the success, like an all-too-proud bird. He slips the pick back in his pocket and steps back as you round the desk. Instead of going straight for the chest, you cup his cheek in one hand and press a kiss to the other. His cheeks would be positively flushed if he had the blood for it.

“Thank you, Astarion,” you whisper against his skin, pressing another kiss to his cheek right after. He leans into the heat of your hand.

“It was my pleasure, darling.”

You pull away with a grin that could put the sun to shame. You turn to open the chest, eager to know what hides behind those metal walls, and he cannot stop admiring how perfectly a stray beam of light hits your skin.

[nvvacanesworld]

OLDER BOYFRIEND JJK MEN!- a series ♥︎

♡pairing- older bf! toji x preschool teacher! reader≧◡≦

♡contains-mentions of kissing and touching, mentions of toji having a closet full of weapons, mentions of pda , preschooler megumi :) (awww)

an- if you see quotes it means just means those were direct words you guys said. I thought i should make that clear cause my friend said it was confusing for her. Anywho enjoy :) im a new writer so im always welcome to feedback just pls don’t be mean. Enjoyyyyy(๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)

stranger!toji - who first met you at open house for his kid- megumi, you were going to be his home room teacher. He was honestly sick of the shit and wanted to go home until you opened your classroom door for the parents with a sweet smile on your face beckoning them to come in and take a seat.

megumis dad!toji - someone you didn’t really think much of at first, if you were being honest he looked scary and you were shocked when he stayed behind after the other parents left to talk to you one on one, leaving megumi to color by himself while you guys had a chat by your desk

megumis dad!toji- doesn’t know why he stayed after, he decided on a whim- like he does with basically every decision in his life- that he just need to talk you. Using the excuse that he wanted to know more about you, which wouldn’t have been a lie-if he didn’t say it was for megumis sake, when it was really for him.

megumis dad!toji -who you lose track talking to, you don’t know what made him so interesting. Maybe it was his gruff exterior, and how he kept slipping in flirty remarks to you. You didn’t notice how you guys had almost been talking for 45 minutes until megumi comes up to his dad pulling on his pant leg whining about how he wanted to go home.

megumis dad!toji- who makes it so obvious how much older he is than you when instead of using the number you gave all the parents to contact you with decides you to send you a email instead. But hey, he needed to talk to you someone. Using his son as an excuse per usual he would ask “how is megumi doing in school” and if “there was any behavior that needed correcting”

megumis dad!toji- who you start to see way more often then you thought you would. Always being the first at the school and last to leave just so he can talk to you longer but hey? it’s for little gumi, which is how during about the second quarter of school he asked out to dinner, to which you accepted because you weren’t dumb and you were starting to like him to, you thought it was really cute how he would do whatever he could to see you. Maybe he has a softer side

crush!toji - couldn’t remember a time where he has been nervous to see a girl. He doesn’t know what flipped switched in him but he was outside of you door and wished the world would swallow him whole. It’s not like he showed it though, still keeping that gruff expression which made you attracted to him in the first place.

crush!toji - who takes you to the most beautiful restaurant you have ever scene. When’s the last time you’ve been treated to something like this ? just walking into this place felt like a dream, and you could tell it cost him a pretty penny too.

crush!toji - who was so mature and respectful the whole night, he held the door for you when you guys walked in making sure he held your hand, pulled your chair out for you and made sure you were comfortable before he sat, and don’t forgot him bring you a gift too which happened to be a book you loved that you mentioned in passing in one of you guys conversations.

crush!toji- who tried his best to keep up his good behavior but couldn’t take it when the waiter kept flirting you. He ended up grabbing your hand and escorting you out that kid had him so heated. He had to beg for you forgiveness in the car though when you got mad at him for ruining your meal and the good time you were having over a little jealousy.

crush!toji- who makes it up to you by inviting you to his house for a movie and dinner. That he cooked himself by the way. When you finally agree he drops Megumi off at Satorus and deep cleans the house. By the end of the date he is kissing you on the lips and asking you if he could "be your boyfriend". Very out of character for him, but you bring out a softer side even he doesn't recognize.

older bf!toji- who at the beginning of your relationship makes it obvious he expresses his feelings through actions and not his words. He isn't good with expressing how he feels causing you guys to fight sometimes. He always makes it up to you though by giving you gifts and taking you out on your lunch breaks.

older bf!toji- whose father tendencies, his urge to guide and provide, and how he can be stern with his teachings, sometimes leak into your relationship and how he treats you in the relationship. You've opened up to him about how it sometimes makes you feel like you are his child so he has put in effort to stop but they still sometimes jump out in certain instances.

older bf!toji- has such a sarcastic and sometimes dark humor humor. when he first expressed this side of himself to you you couldn't tell if he was serious or not because he said it with such a straight face. That doesn't mean he doesn't make you laugh though, once you got used to it he became one of the funniest people ever.

older bf!toji- has such a different taste in music and books and even films than you, always surprising you with bands he listens to that you've never even heard of. You do the same though introducing him to music and literature you're into that he's never heard of, always learning new things about each other.

older bf!toji- introduced you to his friends one day and although it's a smaller group than most they are all so different, but one thing they can all agree on is that you are perfect for Toji.

older bf!toji - surprises you with how much he likes to cook, you knew he could cook because of you guy's second date, or "redemption date" as he likes to call it, you just didn't expect him to always want to cook for you.

older bf!toji- is very reserved about his past, opening up to you sometimes when he's feeling extra vulnerable but doesn't like to dive into that part of himself, you did find a closet full of weapons though when you were snooping around one day. You wonder what thats about

older bf!toji- loves PDA, always touching you and kissing you not caring who is around, unless you guys are together at the school, you put a firm boundary on that saying "absolutely no touching" when you guys are in front of the kids and other parents.

older bf!toji- takes you to work while taking Megumi to school- who by the way absolutely loves you, it took some warming up to do when you were first introduced outside of school but with the right amount of love and patience you guys became best friends it’s one of the reasons why toji loves yo- loves taking you guys to work and school became the car rides are always so fun :)

older bf!toji- is such a homebody, opting to stay in the house instead of going out, but if you want to go out he'll make an exception.

older bf!toji - is so happy he met you, he thinks you make him a better man.

[christinesficrecs]

These are also very classic but I feel like they're a little more well known. If you managed to miss it, Bones Straining is THE fic to read, followed closely by Reach Out. Also, forgot about this ficlet if you're up for a tiny bit of angst.

The Time Traveler’s Prerogative | 9.2K | Explicit

After the events of “117”, Derek doesn’t magically transform back into his twenty-five-year-old body. Instead, he’s stuck as a sixteen-year-old for an unknown amount of time. So the pack has to learn to deal with it.

Reach Out  | 20.2K | Explicit

In Which Stiles Falls in Love Twice…With the Same Person

Released (From Behind These Lines) | 15.9K | Explicit

Stiles was the first one. He doesn’t know how it started, what’s wrong with the house to make it like this, but he knows that he’s the first of them. The next one was Boyd, then Lydia, then Erica, and lastly, Isaac. It seems a habit, anyone who ever moves into the house leaves someone behind. But no one’s lived in the house for the last ten years.

Until Derek Hale.

See Me In Hindsight by weathervaanes, wishingonalightningbolt | 19.6K | Explicit

Stiles is 18 when he finds out exactly what’s going on in Beacon Hills. He has a few months left before he goes off to college, has a while to help Scott become the best werewolf he can be - and also to get into Derek Hale’s pants. And his heart.

Bones Straining Under the Weight  | 15.6K | Explicit

One of Stiles’ favorite things about life is Derek Hale’s food blog. He never expects to meet the man in person.

JEALOUS ORCHARD, THE SKY IS FALLING  | 5.8K

Stiles is away at UCLA for school. It may only be a few hours from Beacon Hills, but Derek still only visits every once in while. Suddenly, every time Derek even talks to Stiles, the boy just can’t help but bring up his new college BFF, Tara. When Derek visits, jealousy strikes. And make up sex ensues.

Can’t Be Saved (Not So Frail)  | 16.3K | Explicit

In which Kira is Derek’s ward, Stiles is Scott’s brother, and omega heat cycles are good for everyone.

This Kind of Luxe by horchatita394, weathervaanes, wishingonalightningbolt | 15.1K | Explicit

As they have for almost every US President since the 1910s, the Prime Minister and the royal head of their country pay a visit to the United States after inauguration. Which is why, when President Jonathan Stilinski is elected into office, Queen Talia Hale of Norland plans their trip.

For Love is Not Ours to Command | 18.5K | Explicit

Where Derek's skills at thinking on his feet mean that he and Stiles have to act. For the sake of Stiles' dad, of course, for the sake of the pack. No personal interest interference at all, whatsoever. Right.

Like Heaven Catching Lighting | 41.5K | Explicit

Prince Stiles of Cor has always known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he was never truly going to marry for love. Fighting it has only made it worse. Now, presented with a choice between two children of the Hale family of Ignis, Derek and Cora, he must make the decision to determine who will rule by his side. If only it were that simple.

Sweet Dreams 'til Sunbeams Find You | 9.2K | Mature

But that’s when it happens. Stiles is on a down stroke when Derek opens his mouth against Stiles’ neck and says, “What do you think about having kids?”

Whispers in the Dark | 6.9K | Explicit

Stiles Stilinski would call himself a starving artist except for the simple facts that he is neither starving, nor does he know anything about art (unless you consider a novelist an artist, which Stiles only does sometimes). So when his best friend insists he accompany him to a show in the city, Stiles thinks it will probably be the most boring evening of his life.

Enter Derek.

[mydarlingdyke]

knight!vi drabble series

I - to die beside you, the grandest honor

vi was not the type to cry.

at least not in front of you.

for she was your knight, your protector against all evil. no human, animal or monster would ever dare come near you, for they knew they'd meet the wrath of one of the strongest fighters in the kingdom.

she'd learn to take up a sword at the ripe age of thirteen, when she was left homeless and forgotten by her own kin; to protect her younger sister powder from the dangers threatening to pounce at them from every corner. and she grew up clever, ruthless, strong, for that is all she knew: how to protect. protect those she loved and what she held dear in this world.

so it didn't come as a surprise to her when, after witnessing fifteen winters in this cruel world, she found yet another precious thing to defend: you.

the only child of the king and queen. the rightful heir to the throne. it was no simple task growing up to rule the kingdom, an entire nation to be placed in your name when your father and mother passed on such duty. it was a lonely upbringing, the only people your age being either potential suitors or rivals in the matchmaking scene.

though it's not like you cared for all that. that was your parents' doing, insisting you should find a partner, someone to continue the royal bloodline with; someone to secure another generation of rulers and people of influence. in all honesty, you couldn't care less.

but when you met vi, you in fact did care even less.

taken under the wing of one of the strongest knights in the realm, sir vander, she lived in the knight's quarters and relished in her new life, full of peril and adventure. she was assigned as your personal knight soon after, and it made you inseparable.

she was the only friend you had during your last three years of blissful teenage life. your confidant, your helper, your protector— to only name a few of her epithets. she'd come to know your dreams, your fears, your interests and all the latest high-society gossip. you wouldn't be seen around without her stuck to your side. and of course, you were girls; even though your responsibilities didn't allow you to live that way, being with vi made you feel like just another kid in the world. not one with the weight of the nation on your shoulders, not one destined to die in a golden chamber at the age of forty-two.

and as the seasons changed, vi's love for you changed as well. it was more than being just a bit close to her highness, more than just swearing an oath to protect her against all odds. it became softer; a dull pain in her chest blossoming every time she saw you skipping around the courtyard, her following close behind in a steady stride. it became a shiver down her spine whenever she heard your voice, sweet as honey and soft as silk, when you called out her name. it turned into one, two— no, an entire migration of butterflies whirling up in her stomach that would torture her as she visited your chamber in those late nights. was it fear of getting caught? or was it the fact that she was no longer a child, that she knew what adults would do in the secrecy of those hours?

there was, unequivocally, tension in the air. for you too would find yourself focusing a little too hard on her figure, on her eyes and the way they were cold as ice— until they landed on you. that thick wall she built around herself would immediately melt under the warmth of your smile, the sweetness of your gaze, or even just the smallest glimpse of your silhouette nearby. she became infatuated with you the same way you were with her.

that's why her late night trips to your room became laced with something more than just yearning to be around you more often, more than just for the sake of your friendship— it was a burning need in her chest, an uncomfortable ache that grew every second you were apart. vi came to think it was all one sided, just a stupid and unimportant crush... until one of those nights the desperation in your eyes and the softness of your voice invited her in, and she realized she'd fallen a little too deep a little too late. she tasted heaven on your lips that night.

but how could she, a lowly knight, aspire to ever love someone as divine as you? a member of the royal family? the princess, nonetheless? you belonged to the kingdom, destined to rule and to someday wed...

oh, that thought made vi's chest burn with impotence. not only your union would have to be with a man, but with someone else. she sometimes wondered what would happen if she would've been born an aristocrat. would she be able to have you for life? would people overlook the fact that you were both women, just because of her status? on other days she'd wonder what would've happened if she'd been born a man. even as a knight, the odds of asking for your hand in marriage would be stacked in her favor. she'd have to become a war hero, and then she'd be bestowed a title worthy of high society and a plot of land to rule over...

she would literally risk being reborn as an entirely different person, if it meant having you.

the amount of times her own mind would pounce on her unsuspecting self, bringing forth plans and complicated plots for the both of you to elope, escape your current lives and leave all that behind. at this point she cared little for her safety, considering she might get caught and executed for "kidnapping" the princess. she believed she'd die a happy woman, nonetheless.

vi was not the type to cry.

at least not in front of you.

yet as she stood there, alongside her fellow knights and squires, watching you walk down the aisle in the most gorgeous dress and most delicate veil over your sad features, she couldn't help the way her eyes glossed over. you looked angelical. pure, beautiful, as the first snow that fell from the heavens on a winter's day. walking towards a man that she believed will never see you the same, will never know you the same, and will never love you the same as she did. and she knew you'd never give your heart to him the same way you gave it to her. even if it was just for a brief moment in your life, she had it.

she just wished she had it till the day she died.

she would've surely died a happy woman.

[miheartsedthings]

Idea - Billy spending his time with someone else while the reader is crushing on him from afar, sees their relationship unfold into something the reader wishes they had with Billy, but Billy's just doing it to distract himself from his elevating feelings for her while she's trying not to feel crushed by this massive crush.. happy ending :>

Thank you so much for being patient while I worked on this! Hope you like it! 😘

“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” ― Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma

SFW, Angst, Fluff, Hidden Desire

Backing away, trembling, eyes filling with tears as his mouth babbles softly ‘No, it’s not real. This can’t…it can’t be happening…please…’ but it is happening. It has happened. Billy Hargrove has fallen in love, and much to his despair.

He wakes every morning from a nightmare of this all-consuming feeling. It’s terrible the way your face lives in his mind. You’ve replaced so many darker images and for that, he’s so grateful, but now there’s the cloying need for you. The Flayer’s voice used to echo in his skull. In the years since leaving Hawkins, it’s quieted down and now only one message remains, tacked to the back of his mind in perpetuity. No one will love you it says No one will stay. 

This is the strongest because it’s the one he already believed. The ‘truth’ he already knew about himself. His being unloveable. He thought he’d made his peace with it. He thought he was satisfied enough to have survived the Flayer and made it back to California. For a time he found a kind of happiness. A hollow, sugary calm that left his days empty. There was booze again, and a slow reentry to weightlifting. His appetite for women was slowly returning. He’d made a couple of friends and attended a couple of parties. He was creating a new normal and it was okay that it didn’t feel exactly right. 

He could live with the waves of loneliness that came over him at night. He could handle those dark memories and the nameless sense of loss. He would’ve been fine with it, if not for you. He saw you in class one morning. The dawn of another semester, another summer left behind. His skin was still warm from days on the beach, his head ringing with a hangover. Then you spoke and it was like you’d called his name with just the sound of it. He looked at you and listened to you, and every next thing you said spelled out his ruin. Every day the feeling sank further and further until he was bashful of looking your way. 

As if that wasn’t enough, you kept showing up all over campus. You were in the student center whenever he went, and at parties he attended looking so fucking good in everything you wore. You passed by each other on your morning walk to separate classes and you always waved. Always with that lovely smile of yours. It got to the point where the thought of moving around campus made him anxious about running into you. He thought of you when he picked out his clothes, for fuck’s sake. Things couldn’t continue this way. He had to find peace from you. So, when Lauren asked him out one day after the class you shared, he said yes. 

You’re trying to ignore the twist in your gut when you see Billy and Lauren walk in together. They’d always sat together in lecture, so you suppose it makes sense they’d start dating. But that doesn’t make it easier. You’d noticed Billy on your first day in class. He sat near the back, classically handsome and easily the most interesting person in class. When he talked, everyone listened, not just because of the way he looks. The way he speaks is filled with intention, right down to the gestures he chooses to accentuate his words. Whatever he feels he means it and he never shies away from that.

At the same time, you get the sense that what he says isn’t useless fluff, but based on something. Whatever he’s been through has changed him. You find yourself wanting to go up to him after class and ask him where he gets his confidence. You’d listen to his whole life story if he cared to tell you. But every time you thought you’d worked up the nerve to speak to him, those pretty blue eyes turned your nerve into vapor. 

You’d always been a little shy, but with Billy, it was a new kind of nervousness. Even boys you’d had crushes on in school hadn’t made you feel the heart-stopping terror of his full attention. Maybe it was for the best that Lauren had taken him off the market. Now, there was no need to be nervous because there was no chance anything could happen. So why doesn’t that make it easier? Why, instead of relief when you see the pair together, do you only feel a queasy swell of envy? 

“Count off when I point to you. Evens will be one team, odds will be another.” 

You think nothing of it when the professor presents the group project. Then, you realize that you’re number three and Billy is number seven, and you’re flooded with fear. 

“Oh nooo,” Lauren whines, hugging Billy’s arm to her chest. Billy says something softly to her. He’s always gentle with her, paying attention to every little thing she says. If only he’d look at you with the same care. He wears a lot of denim and smokes so much you smell the leftover cigarettes on him when he walks by. He’s always lost in thought when you see him. Something dark and cloudy behind his eyes you find yourself curious about. The distance is what kills you.

It feels unnatural that you can’t just go up and ask him what he’s thinking about. But you can’t. You watch the gentle way he pulls away from Lauren, telling her she doesn’t need to miss him since she’ll see him after class. You can’t blame her for being clingy, if he was yours you’d regret every moment apart. 

His eyes lift and there you are, making his heart race. You look down to your notebook. Your two other group members have already arrived at the two seats beside and diagonal to you, leaving the spot across from you for Billy. He plops down, his face the perfect mask of indifference. He doesn’t even look at you. Your stomach hurts.

The professor explains the assignment and you turn in your seat to watch and listen, but the words are going over your head. Billy gives off a blazing heat and you can’t ignore it to save your life. After class the four of you agree to go right to the library and talk about the assignment.

In the library, only you and Billy show up. Of course, Lauren is there, too. 

“Y/n, how do you get your hair to do that? It’s so cute!” Lauren smiles at you, twirling a lock of her auburn curls around her finger. You try to be lighthearted, but your face is burning. 

“Just practice. And Youtube.” You chuckle. Billy sits there looking down at his phone. He’s still yet to speak since the three of you arrived in the library. Instead, Lauren has been acting as his mouthpiece. 

“Very cute,” she says again, then nudges Billy. “Isn't her hair so cute, BB?” 

Finally, his gaze lifts and he looks at you. You awkwardly smile and look down at your paper. 

“Sure,” he says. 

Lauren chastizes him, saying he’s supposed to agree with her and always compliment a lady on her appearance. 

“It looks like the others aren’t coming,” You say, breaking into the conversation, sufficiently embarrassed and ready to escape. “We should try again later this week.” 

In your hurry to get away, you snatch Billy’s pen from the table, shoving it into your bag with everything else. You don’t notice until you get home and quietly curse yourself. The next day, you see him in the student center when you go there to study. You smile and wave like you usually do, but then, wave him over. He hesitates a moment, his usual cool demeanor chipping a bit as he saunters over. Damn, even the way he walks is hot. 

“I took this on accident yesterday,” you say, producing the pen. He smirks, flashing the sharp tips of his canines. 

“Shit, you could’a kept it. I didn’t even notice.” 

Right, he didn’t notice. Your neck goes warm. 

“Sure, of course, I just thought…it’s yours, so…” 

“Right.” He says. 

“Right…”’ 

An oppressive quiet falls over the two of you, while you’re still holding the pen out to him and he’s still yet to take it and sweat is prickling the back of your neck because you’re not sure what to say or do. You’re certain the wrong move would ruin everything. Finally, a flicker of awareness snaps you out of it and you pull back your hand, unfortunately, it’s at the exact same moment he decides to reach for the pen. 

“Oh,” you say, and extend it again and at the same moment he pulls back his hand. Both of you produce an awkward chuckle and he shifts onto his other leg. 

“Keep it,” he says with a handsome little grin. 

“Alright.” you clear your throat. “Did you ever hear from our group members?”

“Shit, no,” the two of you share a laugh, more comfortable this time. “It’s probably gonna be all on us.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” You’re chewing your lip, considering a bit of honesty you’d never had the nerve for until now. “Ya know, if I’m being honest, I don’t even remember what the assignment was.” 

He cocks an eyebrow.

“You don’t know the assignment? Little miss answers every question?”

“Oh come on, I only answer half. You get the other half.” 

He rolls his eyes, a playful chiding. 

“Alright,” he slides into the seat opposite you. “I’ll explain it once so you better pay attention.” 

“Swear.” You say, smiling brightly. 

The assignment is abstract. As Billy explained it, you both found yourselves chuckling at your professor’s philosophical nature. It was a communications class, yet the assignment required in-depth study of your group mates in service of a short, but thorough introduction. You were to present your classmates as if they were receiving something like a Lifetime Achievement Award. Your speeches were to be “thoughtful, informative, and intimate”.

Billy explained all this and you enjoyed the uninterrupted view of him so up close. You were getting used to the way your stomach fell flat against your pelvis when he laughed, and soon enough you were joking right back. You asked him a few things you’d always wondered. Where had he been before Cali? Did he live in the dorms or off campus? 

You talk about things you’ve overheard through dorm walls and about small towns. You tell him about friends back home and he tells you (In such vague terms that it only makes you even more curious) about his streak of trouble that almost killed him. He talks about the town he came from like it’s a dark blip on the map of his life. 

“Should make Christmas fun, right?” You ask, joking. 

“Fuck that,” he says. “I’m not going back.” 

The mood turns somber and your smile fades. You take up the pen he gave you and take note. 

“‘Hates Hawkins more than he loves Christmas’. Got it.” 

He smiles. 

“Nice. Very accurate.” 

“Thanks,” you say “And if it makes you feel any better, I won’t be going home for break, either.” 

For a moment the two of you are quiet, taken off guard by how natural it feels to be in the other’s company. You both let your eyes wander as you never had before. A small indulgence. Then his phone rings and you’re both reminded of the reality of things. It’s Lauren, asking where he is. 

The next day, your group members still don’t show up to the library. Lauren’s meeting up with her own group, leaving you and Billy alone. 

“What do you think she means by ‘intimate’?”

Billy looks up from his draft of your introduction. He looks extraordinarily handsome today and you've been having trouble holding eye contact. You try, of course, locking eyes and waiting for the rush of nerves to pass. His lids are tapered, and now that you think of it, every eyes you've ever admired have been tapered, just like his. His expression is thoughtful. 

“Shit, I don't know. More than personal. Yeah, more than superficial. Something that lets em feel like they've known you for years.” 

What would it be like to know him for years? You start to imagine the depth of understanding you'd come to have about this person and your heart starts to race. You're beginning to really appreciate this assignment. 

“And the trick is doing it in two weeks.” You say, leaning back in your chair. “Well, I'll tell you my secrets if you tell me yours.”

He chuckles. 

“So you can go blab about them in class? No thanks.”

“I wouldn't blab,” you say through a laugh, “I just wanna get a feel-” your nerves catch up to you right then. At the worst time. He cocks an eyebrow, making you cringe. 

“You wanna feel.” He teases. 

“No, no, not like that.” 

“Uh huh.”

“I'm curious about you, that's all. You're interesting.” 

“Hm.” 

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.” 

He's smirking, and writing something in his notebook. 

“This is good,” he says “you're givin me plenty to work with.”

You groan, now fully embarrassed and he laughs again. Your eyes drop to your paper and you read over what you have so far. 

“So,” he says, “Ask me something. If you're curious.” 

You consider this invitation for a moment and decide it's now or never. You lean forward, folding your arms over each other. 

“Well, in class you're always saying you don't like non-verbal communication. It's cheap and sneaky-” 

“Lazy,” he corrects you. “It's the shit people rely on so they don't have to open their mouths.” 

“Well…I just wonder if you might be oversimplifying things, and maybe if you don't like non-verbal communication from people because you don't know how to read it.” 

His brows raise in a look of mock surprise. 

“Yeah? What, you think I can't pick up on shit?” 

“It's just a theory,” you say, laughing “But there's something to it. Non-verbals are valuable.” 

“Depends on what they are,” he says. 

“True. They're not all equal, but why hate them? I mean I know what you've said in class, they avoid the point, people use it as a crutch, but why do you think that?” 

He sighs, leaning back in his chair, his eyes finding the ceiling behind your head. He sits there looking into the middle distance, pacing through thoughts. Making sense of something. 

“You can't go through life...making people read your mind about shit.” He says, hesitating over a few of his words. You can tell this is harder for him to say. More honest. “People need to hear things…if they don't, they assume. And if you're stuck up your own ass trying to hold shit in, you never set it straight. What they think about you stays…” 

You're watching him as he speaks, gesturing in order to help bring the words out. He brushes a curly lock of gold out of his eyes and as his voice peters out your gaze lingers on his parted lips.

“You are very non-verbal.” His eyes shoot up to yours, snapping you out of your spell. “Not in a bad way,” you add. 

“In what way?” 

You shrug. 

“I don't know.” He doesn't look away, his eyes are fixed on you in a serious look of curiosity. “You talk with your hands. And to me that speaks to how genuinely you feel about things. Which is nice. You have an easy smile, it shows up as soon as you're amused and disappears the moment you're not. So, there's honesty in that, I think. You're very present.” He's watching you with a softness in his eyes that makes you warm. “And Lauren.” The mention of her name changes something in him. He looks away. “You uh…you keep your arm around her chair. It's protective.” 

A moment passes where neither of you speaks, and you feel a quiet sadness settling over you. 

“Anyway,” you continue, looking at your paper now, “Why hate it so much when it says so much about you?” 

The longer you sit there in silence the more agitated Billy seems to get. He says he has to go and starts gathering his stuff. You assume it's because you've crossed a boundary by bringing up Lauren and you part ways with a gnawing guilt making your eyes water. 

The next time you see Billy, you're at a party in the apartments near campus. People are crammed into the tight space, but the atmosphere is lively and warm. You and your friend stand in the kitchen, leaning against the island, cups in hand, already buzzed. 

“Didn’t she say where he’d been?” Your friend asks. Her eyes are covered in sparkly purple eyeshadow and dark liner. Her signature look. 

“You know my mom. She’s cryptic. All she said was my dad’s back and I need to come home over break.” 

She rolls her eyes. 

“Lame.”

“Lame is one word for it.” 

You drain your cup of its contents and then refill it, not enjoying the thought of being around your parents for the holidays. It’s not like they’re bad people, they just expect a lot which can be hard to stomach when your dad disappears whenever he wants to. Your mom doesn’t make it any easier by demanding you be the perfect child to him whenever he decides to be home. 

Your cup is mostly vodka with just enough cranberry juice to change the color. You slam it in less than a minute, making your friend laugh. 

“Fuck,” she giggles. “That’s better. Let’s talk about that fine-ass classmate of yours.”

“Let’s not,” you answer, but your face is already warming thinking about Billy. 

“Is he still with what’s her face?”

“Very much.”

“I don’t get that.”

“What’s not to get? She’s a nice enough girl and he’s about the most scrumptious guy I’ve ever seen.” 

She shakes her head. 

“Something’s off about it. Remember the episode of Catfish when it was really the dude’s cousin?”

You laugh.

“She was mad because he called her a fat-ass Kelly Price?”

“Yes! I knew, remember? I knew it was her all along! And when I think about you and this boy I get the same feeling, like the call is coming from inside the house.” 

The two of you are laughing about this when you glance over into the living room and spot him. You can’t help gasping and your friend quickly follows your gaze. He and Lauren are just arriving, looking around, Lauren spots a group of girls she knows and goes shrieking over to them with her arms outstretched. You turn before Billy can catch you looking. 

“Shit,” you mumble, taking another drink. 

“No, this is good,” your friend says, “You have to get to the bottom of this.”

“There is no bottom of it,” you say, the reality of the situation hitting you again. “He has a girlfriend, there’s nothing left to do.” You glance over your shoulder and see you’ve lost track of him. “In fact. I’m avoiding him.”

“You can’t be serious.” 

“I’ll be back and then we can leave.” 

You don’t listen to your friend’s pleas to stay, you move away in search of the bathroom. It’s at the end of a short hall, but as you’re on your way there, you see a bedroom door cracked open and movement catches your eye. Curiosity gets the better of you so you peek into the room, noticing a little black cat licking itself on the edge of the bed.

If you hadn’t been drunk, you would’ve kept moving, but you were drunk, more than you’d realized a second ago, and you couldn’t resist. You pushed into the quiet bedroom, gently closing the door behind you. The cat gave a curious, curling meow and watched you as you sat down beside it. 

“Hey kitty,” you called, softly.

It rose, curling its back into a stretch and then bumping its little head into your palm. It meows again, eagerly arching its body against you. 

“So sweet,” you coo, “Such a little sweetie baby, huh?” 

The cat meows and cranes up to sniff as you scratch under its chin. In your fuzzy vodka brain, it makes perfect sense to lay back and let the cat curl up on your belly, which it promptly does. It’s lying there purring when the door opens and you bolt upright, suddenly terrified that the person whose room this is has caught you. Instead, you’re terrified to see Billy.

You sit there with the cat in your lap, your body filling with warmth. As good as he looks at school, there’s something entirely different about him in this kind of setting. Something loosened. A sly smile spreads across his lips. 

“I knew it,” he says. 

“Knew what?”

“You’re the type to be at a party and go snooping around for the pet.” 

You laugh at yourself. 

“Well, this actually happened by accident.” 

“Sure.” 

There it is again: that comfortable stillness you keep feeling between the two of you. How can he just stand there not saying a thing and make you feel at home? You remember Lauren and look down at the cat. Its fur is so smooth and ink-black. Its eyes are an uncanny emerald color. 

“So, turns out I am going home for Christmas break.” 

“Couldn’t resist.” 

You smile at his sarcasm. 

“It’s really a favor to my mom. My dad’s home so it’s…I don’t know, it’s stupid. But I’ll be there ‘cause it’s family.”

You don’t look at him, but if you had you’d see such conflict in his eyes. 

“Figured out another thing I hate about non-verbal shit.” 

You look up then, as he crosses the space to sit beside you. The cat is immediately curious, stepping across your lap to carefully sniff and then headbut Billy’s thigh. 

“What's that?” 

“It leaves it all up to the other person. You make em’ watch you and read into everything. They end up feeling like a stalker. Then if they get it wrong, it’s like, this whole fantasy they had is just empty bullshit.” 

He’s tan, bringing his faint freckles into contrast. He smells like shampoo and cologne, and he’s warm. You can tell that when his hand brushes your thigh when he offers his palm to the cat.

“Funny,” you say, your voice has fallen soft and airy, but you don’t notice. You’re focused on his eyes “My introduction to you is all about how no-bullshit you are.” 

He smirks, but it’s without the usual mischief. 

“Better change that,” he says “I’m so full of shit I can’t stand it.”  

You stare at him for a moment, and he comes into focus then, in a new way. You understand something new about him and just as you expected, it feels incredible. 

“I get it now,” You say “The real reason you hate non-verbals.” 

A little glint of apprehension passes through his eyes. 

“Yeah?” 

“You hate them ‘cause you-” 

The door opens, and Lauren is there. Her smile falters into a lopsided grin. 

“There you are,” she chirps. “Not in the bathroom.” 

The two of them leave quickly, Billy tossing plastic parting words over his shoulder as he rushes away. You’re left in a stillness that doesn’t end when you get up to leave. It stays with you, burning and hollow. 

You’re having trouble focusing in class on Monday. Your professor is more than a little surprised to see you being so quiet, and when she asks if you have anything to add to the discussion you quietly explain that you’re not feeling well. She asks if you’d like to leave early and you take her up on the offer. Anything to get away from Billy and Lauren.

She’s been all over him, even more than usual and it’s hard to stomach. You keep thinking back to the party and your encounter with Billy. What had it meant? You felt like it was on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t make anything crystalize into shape. Your head was drowned. 

Later, in the student center, you stare down at your paragraph. Nothing about it seemed right anymore and you kept re-structuring it. The paper was clogged with scribbles and strikethroughs. Your head was down, your hands framing your eyes as you stared down at the page and you didn’t look up when he sat down.

“Finish what you were saying the other night,” he says. 

“I don’t remember.”

“Of course you do.”

“I was drunk, Billy. Forget it. Please?” 

You hear him sigh and adjust in his chair. 

“It’s over with Lauren.” 

You look up and find his eyes are stone-cold and focused. His brows pinched.

 “Did you…?”

“I’m done with the bullshit, Y/n. Fuck bein’ scared. Fuck the non-verbal shit.”  

A jolt of energy zips up your spine, pulling you straighter in your seat. Your heart is pressed against your lungs as you watch his eyes, full of a new determination. 

“What does that mean?” you venture. 

His eyes take in your features, slowly, savoring the look of you. 

“I don’t have a fuckin letter of this speech written down because I’m such dogshit at explaining who you are. Maybe if I had a year I could get started but it’s impossible right now. So I’m failing this project. Which is fine. But I want that year, if I’m not getting the grade.” 

You’re stunned for a moment, until a ripple of laughter breaks the quiet. You share the joy, his smile evidence of an understanding. 

“Just a year?” You ask.

“Enough to get started,” he says “That’s maybe half a sentence.” 

“How much time would it take?”

“How much do you have?”

You laugh again, a palm over your heated face. 

“I can’t believe this,” you say, then look at him, astonished. “I was right. You’re total shit at saying how you feel.”

He smiles and shrugs. 

“Told you.” 

“Yeah," you say, "that you tell me.”

Dividers from saradika-graphics

Photos from Pinterest

[yaksha-lover]

Daydreams

Vil x reader, background Rook x reader

cw: pretentious vil introspection, unrequited love, slight angst(?)

When Rook first introduced you to him, Vil never thought twice about you.

He doesn’t bother learning the names of Rook’s latest obsessions, whether that be Vil’s fellow celebrities or his paramours. His friend had always been a fanatic of beauty, always searching for the next exquisite thing. It meant that he didn’t stay in one place, or with one person, for very long.

When you stuck around- that surprised him.

Still, he’d expected Rook to be done with you soon enough. Whether it took a month or a year, he’d been sure Rook would move on eventually.

It struck him suddenly one day when Rook had handed over spare keys to your and his new apartment, that you’d integrated yourself into their lives. Or rather, Rook’s life, and his by proxy.

He hadn’t exactly understood what Rook saw in you.

You’d always been ordinary. That’s why he’d barely noticed you at first, trailing behind Rook like you could disappear into the wallpaper any second. You were shy, barely having the confidence to meet his eyes when Rook proudly presented you to him. Even as your boyfriend lavished praise after praise on you, all you could do was hide behind his shoulder bashfully. Vil had been pleasant, for Rook’s sake, but he hadn’t much cared for yours. If all you would ever be is another mousy little thing, Vil was hardly interested.

On days when he has too much time to himself, Vil wonders if things would’ve been different if he’d met you first.

He doubts it. Doubts that he wouldn’t have made the same mistake, sizing you up before you’d even had a chance. No, Vil thinks he would’ve destroyed you.

Rook had seen you and known you could be more. But he’d loved you as you were, not as who you could become. Rook had loved you unconditionally, and that had helped you grow and blossom into your true potential.

You’d been good for Rook too, supported him in all of his passions, encouraged and partook in his interests. You’d given him a home, too. Somewhere that grounded Rook without limiting him.

Would Vil have been able to love you like that? To never ask more of you? To not push and pull until you shattered into a broken image of who he’d like you to be?

Would you have been able to love him?

-

Vil wakes up in the hospital. Some serious injuries from his accident, but he’ll live.

Rook is the first to visit.

When he asks for you, he expects his old friend to be angry at him, but he isn’t. Rook looks at him with pity, and Vil thinks that is much, much worse.

You rush in from the waiting room and immediately embrace him. The touch is gentle, barely there. He knows it’s because you’re trying to be considerate of his injury, but it still stings at his chest. When you pull away to check over him, he can almost convince himself your touch was just his delusion.

He wonders, sometimes, if you know the truth. Sometimes he has dreams that you do. That you’ve found out. Your reaction varies from dream to dream. Sometimes you’re happy and you feel the same. Other times you slap him, ask how he could do this to Rook. He’s not sure which he prefers.

He knows, though. Vil knows that you have no idea how he feels. You would never try to touch him, never keep him in your life if you did. Your morals are as strong and unyielding as your love for Rook. You’d be angrier at him than his old friend would be. Even so, he knows Rook would rather lose him than ever give you up. That part hurts too. Not only does Rook have you, but you have Rook. You’ve taken him from Vil too.

He knows Rook knows. He’s in love with you too, after all.

The two of you have each other, and he is left alone.

He can see it when you finally stop fussing over him to greet your fiancé, just like he sees it every day. He sees it in the way your hand finds its place on Rook’s like it’s just another part of a whole. Vil sees it when Rook turns and sees you. He doesn’t just look at you, he sees you. He sees your strengths and your faults and your shortcomings and he still loves you. No, not in spite of, but because of them.

Vil sees himself getting left behind.

Despite being the patient, Vil feels like the intruder in the room. The two of you are talking about nothing special, but he feels like a voyeur; spying on two lovers sharing a deeply intimate moment.

When both of you turn your gaze back to him, you immediately get up and rush toward him. You’re fussing again and he - he doesn’t know why. Why do you bother even being nice to him? He’s nothing to you, just your fiancé’s friend. Why are you so kind, so soft?

Rook’s hand glides across his cheek and Vil feels the wetness spread. His tears have dried by now, and still you rush for the nurse, saying how he should’ve told you that his pain level was still so bad.

When the nurse is gone and Vil’s head is even fuzzier, you sit at his bedside. Rook has gone to bring the two of you some food since you insisted on staying by his side in case he needed you once more. He wishes he could ask you never to leave.

You scold him and tell him that he never has to put up a facade for you. That almost makes him smile.

He can be happy like this, Vil tells himself. He can be satisfied, as long as you’re in his life, even if you’ll never be in his arms.

[tcfactory]

Okay smartass how would you fix Bingqiu if you had your way?

If you actually want to know you could do to be less of a rude little shit about it, anon, but all right.

This is not about 'fixing' anything. Bingqiu is a wildly popular ship and a lot of people enjoy the exact kind of delusional insanity these two have about each other and that's honestly great. Love it for them. Not my cup of tea though.

I think the easiest and fastest way to make them sort their shit out and maybe put them in a position where I might actually be interested in what's going on with them is to take the protagonist halo away. Maybe the System short circuits, maybe it just gets automatically turned off after the extras, don't know don't care.

A lot of Shen Qingqiu's self delusions are fueled by his unshakeable belief that Luo Binghe, being The Protagonist, is Perfectly Fine the way he is. Binghe is the Protagonist, so when there are no character development or obligatory angst events going on he is happy and healthy and a slightly charred good boy and Shen Qingqiu is The Happy Wife who dotes on his hubby and Everything Is Right In The World. Endless honeymoon with their responsibilities only coming to bother them every once in a while. And it makes it way too easy for Binghe to cover up that he's still hurt, still unstable and still insecure by what went down because Shen Qingqiu is willing to take him at face value when he presents his insecurities as just being shameless neediness for his husband. Of course he happily indulges Binghe! But that isn't really helping with the core of the problem now, does it?

Like, Binghe takes steps towards ensuring Shen Qingqiu's mental wellbeing even at the cost of his own as soon as Maigu Ridge is over when he takes him back to the sect. Shen Qingqiu tries too, in his own way (the entire segment in the tombs is all about him putting himself in very real danger for Binghe's sake) but at the same time, this is a guy who completely missed the writing on the wall that Bingge was deeply unhappy in PIDW. As long as he can hold onto his internal picture that The Protagonist Suffered A Lot But He Is Fine Now I don't think he can really offer the right kind of emotional support for Binghe to actually heal from what happened to him and move on to a healthier frame of mind.

If you take the protagonist halo away, then first of all Binghe can, you know, suck a little. Or a lot, actually. The world not making excuses for him and him being a little defanged would be good for him. He gets really nothing he actually wants from being the protagonist - Shen Qingqiu will love him anyway. Mobei-jun will still stick around to back him up and help him out, because he's still Shang Qinghua's favorite fictional son and Qinghua is happy to see Binghe happy, just, you know, somewhere way over there where he can't get jealous tsundere over Cucumber bro and maybe murder him about it. Sha Hualing is still going to be his buddy because he's her best source of human trivia and the writing inspiration for her girlfriend. Not having to be demon emperor and getting more time to spend with his husband would be a relief.

But he would have to be more aware of other people because he's not above them anymore. Maybe even forced to make a few new friends to get by. And his mask will fail and Shen Qingqiu will have to see him for what he is: just Luo Binghe, still hurt and still confused half demon, who loves him very much, but can't make sense of him and is afraid that he will be left behind or pushed away without explanation again and that's kinda Shen Qingqiu's own damn fault.

And Shen Qingqiu can't hold onto his delusions about The Protagonist. He can't willfully ignore that things are not fine with Binghe because he's not the Protagonist anymore and the world only allows that special privilege for the Protagonist. Binghe is just a guy now and he has so many heart demons he needs help with. His trauma from the abyss or Xin Mo can't be brushed off with 'oh that's just part of his blackening he's fine now' anymore. And it might need a little bit of adjusting to internalize that these problems have always been here just below the surface, but Shen Qingqiu genuinely loves Binghe and would want to help him become happier and more stable in any way he can.

Binghe becoming part of the world in a way that's one person among many - building a support network! maybe befriending new demons or actually getting to know and making up with the QJ disciples or finding common ground with LQG and becoming sparring buddies - rather than a protagonist in a sea of NPCs is a lot more interesting to me than whatever he has going on at the end of canon. And Shen Qingqiu can be there with him on that journey, because he already started unlearning the sense of unreality the System conditioned into him, but he still has a long way to go.

[emprexxluxaic]

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE

Pick A Picture

disclaimer: i don't own any of these images that used for this reading,i just saved them from pinterest & credits to the rightful owners . Tarot Card reading can't predict the future at all , it all based on your current energy & to your other person energy. takes what resonate & leave doesn't .this is made just for fun & remember the decisions is all up to you and your the one who can your create your future.

● how to choose?take a deep breath & take a look to each pile & choose which pile you feel drawn too:))

CHOOSE A PILE FROM LEFT TO RIGHT

IMAGE 1

Your Future Spouse POSITIVE TRAITS

quick

versatile

adaptable

free-spirited

energetic

well traveled

flexible

experimental

social

adventurous

Your Future Spouse POSSIBLE NEGATIVE TRAITS

irresponsible

over-indulgent

disrespectful

impatient

restless

distracted

Reading for your FUTURE SPOUSE

I see here someone who attracts strong, powerful and famous people with a high will-power and a stable character , can be both a gift and a punishment. The one who support or the provider for financial of the relationship(especially if your soulmate is a he).They may have work in entertainment or behind the scenes they prefer to work in secret service or not in public eye. People appreciate their good judgement like they know how to determine the truth and the falsehood.They can be friendly and they have alot of friends,can be trustworthy and reliable lovers and soulmates as well.This is someone generous and they are willing to serve people who surround them,they can be patient and ask right question or know how to calm down people.They may work as a teacher / counsellor or they will like to teach you the things they knew,they are honest and faithful whether in relationship and work/bussiness partnership. They prefer to choose lover who face obstacles in life and someone who can kept a secret who cannot be shared to anyone.Their family have a spot to their heart when it comes to needs they tend to stop to being selfish and become empathetic,they tend to give up their interests and may suffer for the sake of other benifits.They spend their money carefully if they living alone,it's important to them to live in peaceful place so that they have focus to concentrate and to do whatever they want and that makes them feel happy.They learns how to keep right distance to people so that others may respect their privacy.They don't like routine,as well making them have limits on what they do and must work where there's no limitations.They don't believe that money can buy happines but gaves you freedom and makes doors to open new chances.Most of people who choose this pile their soulmate can be work in entertainment industry like actors,singers,dancers and so on and so forth,also in sales/businesses and the rest are working in medical jobs(especially medical doctors).They can be happy too in fields of psychology and counselling,also in authority position or a teacher who writes books about leadership.They are too generous because whenever they have money they gave it to less fortunate family members and friends.For this people giving is a give and also a lesson to share from others.In some cases your soulmate is quite attrative and also shrewd and canny.For some reason he could experience heart breaks in past relationship maybe because their lover doesn't love them enough that makes them lose of interest and feeling and the best way to get rid of this hurtful feelings is to read postive books about love or even by writing.They can be confident and self-assured.They know what is the best for.They can be an excellent leaders and also parent.

🌱 : Extra messages : Capricorn , Aquarius , Pisces , Aries , Taurus , Gemini , Cancer , Leo , Virgo , wisdom , travel , quick thinker , business minded , generous , fun-loving , faithful , romantic , consciousness in money , prestige , illusion , irresponsibility , power , obsession , fear , glamour and foreign investments.

🌱 : Song For You :

🌱 : Hello there my dear pile 1 , hope y'all enjoy this reading.You can follow me for upcoming pac readings.If you have questions or any suggestions you can ask in my ask box or you can direct message me,thanks💚💚😘

IMAGE 2

Your Future Spouse POSITIVE TRAITS

caring

giving

well mannered

harmonious

conscientious

humanitarian

supportive

artistic

kind

fair

protective

romantic

balanced

nurturing

Your Future Spouse POSSIBLE NEGATIVE TRAITS

too passive

worrisome

self-righteous

emotionally needy

stiff

overly idealistic

whining

Reading for your Future Spouse

For some reason my dear pile 2 you wanted to choose pile 1,so here let's dig your reading.i see someone who likes to inspire others by creating things from small things.They are independent and entrepreneurial skills, they can make great success in leadership roles.This is someone who develop their strong will to overcome the challenges of their life during in early years.They may be gifted or may love to do arts,dancing,studying languages and science since they were young(they maybe intellegent as well).This is someone who is kind and other people might take it for granted or may use them for their own desires and when the moment they realize it they tend to be selfish and judmental.They have something on their voice when they're talking like they might have deep or soft voice.They can inspire others through their bright and smart ideas.They may have desire or yearning to help other who are less unfortunate or people who seeking for help.They might own a pet or an animal lover or they want to build a charity for animals.They might like the idea or imagine being hero to someone more often in family members and to their friends(even to you too who pick this pile) and there's possibility that your FS might have 2 jobs . They may like to travel often. They like dancing,music and poetry or even acting(a celebrity?).They are successful and their success may come from meeting new people who inspire them.A good communicator they may work in industries where interactions is required.They may have psychic ability or vice versa.They may be foreign or lives away from your home/where you live.For some they may like to stay close to you,to their work and travel together.They really love to travel and there's possibity that you will meet them while they are travelling.Like i said they like the idea of being a hero - so they might save you from loneliness.If your FS is male they may have alot of crush ( like every women they met ) but when they fell inlove to you deeply they spend there whole life to you and will remain faithful.Your FS is someone charming too and may bd good at mathematics.They want someone who can love them unconditionally ( if not they lose interest in love/ relationship ),they like to explore whether it's different and new for them.They may love to read books, writing journals,fixing schedule etc or reading postive books about love change their perspective.Your FS is really truthful person and don't want to ignore their responsibilities.They may sport or likes to play sport,your FS may work on military,on goverment sectors,politics,law(lawyer/ attorney), even in medical field or even a influencer/vlogger.A family oriented person who are devoted to their home life and family.They may own a business too.

🌱 : Extra messages: Fire sign/element(Aries,Leo,Sagittarius) , Water signs/element(Cancer,Scorpio,Pisces) , Taurus , Virgo ,Gemini , independent , determination , negotiation , balance , influence , school , money and worth , bright , curious , pessimistic , sefish , achieve , goals , career change at 39 to 52yrs old , communication , intelligent , warm , friendly , adventurer , chance , and gamble.

🌱 : Song For You ;

🌱 : Hello there my dear pile 2 , hope y'all enjoy this reading.You can follow me for upcoming pac readings.If you have questions or any suggestions you can ask in my ask box or you can direct message me,thanks💚💚😘

IMAGE 3

Your Future Spouse POSITIVE TRAITS

intuitive

perceptive

gifted

supernatural

sensitive

emotionally intelligent

Your Future Spouse POSSIBLE NEGATIVE TRAITS

anxious

overly worried

unfocused

stressed

Reading for your FUTURE SPOUSE

Right off the bat i'm getting someone who is genius as the same time a millionaire(if not financially stable) that may come from inheretance/gift/hardwork but they have some fears like everyone do,they fear of not having enough money, fear in failure , fear of being abandoned and left alone .There's something about their family or your family.They can be stubborn.Wow,this person is really successful and they attract riches.They may suffer to anxiety due to think they're not enough/have not enough.This is someone who can fulfill all of their dreams.They remain responsible to work for their family.This is someone who is really talented and may change position/profression more often,like they got the higher position in their work then suddenly they want to resign and start a new work.They want to leave where is there birth place / home town or vice versa, then travel alot and become independent.I see someone who likes to teach so they may work as teacher/professor or bussiness wo/man.This is someone who is fully developed intuition , clever who has fast reaction.Through travelling they may want to revive their minds and may gain inspiration to it.This is someone curious and has desire for more knowledge.They may be famous as well ( in community standard not a celeb ) , they celebrate there birthday happily and cheerfully and many visitors.They can be good at public speaking and they're really friendly that even in short period of time thay can make friends.Often invited as VIP- when they're invited in large gatherings/event . For some reason you will be friends that turns to lovers,your fs is attracted to someone who have the same views as them,loving, creative, adventurous people.

🌱 : Extra Messages : January 1 ,Earth Signs (Taurus,Virgo, Capricorn) , Aries , Leo , wisdom , potential , power , leadership , noble , failure , challenges , teach/learn , opportunity , mastery , affairs , one night stand , 5-7yrs , balance , smoothly , stability , and suffer

🌱 : Song For You :

🌱 : Hello there my dear pile 3 , hope y'all enjoy this reading.You can follow me for upcoming pac readings.If you have questions or any suggestions you can ask in my ask box or you can direct message me,thanks💚💚😘

IMAGE 4

Your Future Spouse POSSITIVE TRAITS

strong-willed

rebellious

self-reliant

assertive

ambitious

decisive

original

strong

Your Future.Spouse POSSIBLE NEGATIVE TRAITS

aggressive

boastful

selfish

domineering

arrogant

impulsive

intimidating

self centered

Reading for your FUTURE SPOUSE

This is the shortest pile in this reading and finally my dear pile 4 let's get in to your reading.Right off the bat i see your FS might be a good thinker and a fast learner.If your FS is feminine they may have emotional problems because of their family and worries but may help there husband or encourage them to join in family bussiness and if this is masculine they willing to sacrifice everything for the future of his child and gave them good education.This is someone who is intellegent and may knows your motives before you say or do it.They might be a loner; a bit introverted and somehow act weird or strange but tend to be very good and loyal friend.They may have problems regarding to their health because of mistrust to doctors(like don't want to consult to a doctor).and I see this person have good judgement and positive attitude and that's all your reading my dear pile 4.

🌱 : Extra Messages : Air Signs(Libra , Aquarius , Gemini ) , 333 , financial obligation , resist to change , wise , business associate , doctors or healers , and teachers , magnetic personality , greater , jealousy , gossip , unrealiable friends

🌱 : Song for you ;

🌱 : Hello there my dear pile 3 , hope y'all enjoy this reading.You can follow me for upcoming pac readings.If you have questions or any suggestions you can ask in my ask box or you can direct message me,thanks💚💚😘

𓂃𓊝𓄹𓄺

Hi there my dear lovelies go and check out my masterlist for other pac readings,xoxo💚💚💚

PARTICIPATE IN MY YES OR NO EVENT HERE

[l0mljeonjungkook]

Odd One Out | JJK / KTH / KNJ

⋙ Summary - Being friends-with-benefits with Jungkook was already messy until the universe introduces him as your stepbrother.

Namjoon has your heart in his clutches, and pity he's getting married soon.

And, Taehyung, is just not interested in your sister.

⋙ pairing: Taehyung x reader -? / Namjoon x reader -? / Jungkook x reader -?

⋙ rating: 18+

⋙ genre: fake dating to lovers, childhood bestfriends; fluff, angst, smut (more to come, won't reveal yet... Shhhh🤫)

⋙ warnings: no warnings in the prologue, will be added in future chapters.

⋙ word count: 1.7k+

A/N - I really have forced myself to post this, my sis (pain in the ass) too though, thank you B, for motivating me, and iloveyou. So, I hope you guys enjoy reading this, though it's just a prologue but do set a base for the series. I'd very much appreciate your feedback, it'll motivate me to no extent. Do leave your thoughts. And, thank you, angels, for reading💕

Also, cross-posted on Wattpad and ao3

Masterlist | series masterlist

PROLOGUE

Instagram, scrolling through it makes you cringe. The worst app, a zone for the nerds posting pictures or say it vaunting their spotless, seemliest, apt snippets exclusive of their messy life behind the camera. That’s what every walking moneybag, tycoon, and trouper does on this shitty app.

It’s one of the reasons you hate this app.

Right now, you ain’t scrolling for any baron or trouper or any love birds from your friends' group to pop on your screen. Clicking on this app seconds ago once your dad and mum left your room, intending to search for the one your father happily informed you, his exact words - “Well, I’m sure kid you’ll like him”, he was beaming, and studying his face, this one might be the one, he seems in no doubt.

And, that beam on his face makes you want to search --- Will Carter, you’re sure, you heard that name before yet can’t recall.

Your stepdad made an arrangement or just call it a blind date for you to meet this person, just another silk-stocking of New York City.

Apparently, it’s Saturday evening, and you’re so in for meeting new guys for the sake of your heart. If anything, you want to think about the one who will love you back one-sided love is shriveling your heart into a raisin. Only love can swell it back which has evaporated from it or say you've poured it on the one who never needed yours.

Whys and Wherefores, about clicking on the app with the end to gain some deets about Will Carter. Your date. Because this Instagram is good for nothing but stats about the one who posts their flashy life on here.

That's how you're left, bottoms up, zero drop left. For the sake of your shrinking to-raisin heart, you want to move out of the barricade you kept yourself into.

If that means, taking a step and meeting the silk stockings of New York City, you're ready with a pure vibranium shield like the one Captain America holds. However, with a slight change, no star but a heart in the center. 

And before you get a chance to search deets on, your date tomorrow, on the app, with zero intentions, zip anticipation, and no image of the two men in your head, the picture popped on your phone’s screen makes your eyes shine but that shine fades seeing his love by him.

Posted three minutes ago it’s written below... the caption says - She said YES!

Now, coin it as the second reason to hate this app.

Okay, so thing is, USA’s most eligible bachelors, majestically statuesque with hearts brimming with goodwill, shockingly - befall upon you to be the most treasured men in your life. It’s stimulatingly the most unbelievable truth of your life.

The Foxy Holy Trinity is what your heart screams upon seeing them together.

The first one, Kim Namjoon, whose girlfriend said YES, minutes ago. So, nothing is arduously uneasy for you when it comes to him, merely thinking about him pumps your frozen blood into sweltering, circulating to every corner of your body. The man you yearn for and envy his girlfriend for being by him every time you eye the two. Whether on news articles or social media each time you log in to your account, it's not uncommon for their picture to pop up.

Not only he’s the CEO of the KIMS Group, one of the globe’s largest companies in the video game industry but also he’s the Romeo of your life. It’s not only you who envy his girlfriend of six years, there are uncountable single women out there wishing to spend a mere night with him well some drool over his money. However, that’s not the case for you. Neither his money nor his body is what you drool over, lets's just tag the latter one on you, howbeit never for just a night.

It’s a bit late for him to propose to her when you thought he might have done that. This also means you had time to go on your knees for this man with a platinum ring and propose to him.

Shame you’re late.

Shame, there’s no one like him.

Shame, even if there is, he ain’t your Romeo.

The picture your eyes are flukily glued on, is a picture of him, his girlfriend Heejin - now fiance, and your childhood best friend. Namjoon, on his knees holding her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles with so much content in his twinkling brown eyes and smile touching them. Heejin looks happier than ever you’ve seen her. And, why won’t she?

You didn’t know you were crying until a tear streaks silently down your cheeks, blurring your vision, you quickly wipe it off. But a smile swipes on your face, wiping away the ache of your heart upon seeing your best friend, Kim Taehyung. He looks high under the starry sky on the cruise, wearing a champagne tuxedo, holding a flute of champagne in the air, between his fingers while staring at the couple, broadly grinning.

The second - Kim Taehyung, the man with an angelic face who has been cherished by you, to no extent among the three men in your life, is your childhood best friend. Also, brother of the former man, the love of your life. He’s been with you in all those darkest rooms when you gave up on yourself when you were left alone like a doormat yet he picked you up, hugged you wiped off your tears until his shirt soaked in tears until you left with zero, cleansed your brain once flooded with agony and fed you with affection until one day his dream came between you two. In situations where you zipped your lips from letting out stuff even to your mother and sister, it was him who stayed by you.

Everything was glittery until the enormously thick granite wall of his dream stood between your friendship. Following his dream is something that was meant to be.

Sanely, still pointing imaginary daggers to the picture, you notice the cruise isn’t the one, Taehyung gave you a surprise birthday party on, it’s junior you reckon. Also, the smile on his face isn’t the same as your birthday, he was practically glowing that day.

Not only your heart but your uterus too, contracting awfully right now. Perhaps you’re PMSing randomly crying your heart out, you reckon. “Shit not tomorrow. Shit shit, how did it slip,” you twist for the drawer beside your bed, yank it open pulling out the norethisterone bottle, you’re pretty sure and it’s even written in bold to take one but you pop out four, eyes on the screen and swallow them without water. It pokes inside your throat but you’re blind in love, eyes fixed on him. 

Seems unfair to you, you’re currently clenching your fist, so terribly in pain, granted you’re alone and them - enjoying the night on cruise. You wish to be there, Taehyung invited you but you denied it, as a rule. It’s how you mechanically work, to keep yourself sane. On the flip side, regretting in the eleventh hour, and the next stop for you - to loathe yourself all over again for always choosing options that make you kick your guts out of the universe.

But that’s not your fault, declaring yourself guilty can’t be the third stair.

Wishing that you might have said yes, but you’d have to miss the date tomorrow and above all seeing them together would’ve only broken you to bits of a bit, and you’re not never up for that. 

After that dream proposal, you don’t know how to react, but one thing’s for sure beyond a doubt - being happy isn’t on the list. However, faking that is the first bullet. Pretending is left.

You feel, might throw up, trying to find patience when impenetrable thoughts congest your mind. Locking your phone, you hurl it off as far from your sight to the end of your bed, looking at how slackly you are at present, in such an awful ache you won’t bend to hoist it up.

Your teary eyes forcing your brain to erase the memory of the past few minutes, tend to search for something around your enormous room only to show you something for which you wish nothing but a Ctrl+D for piles of unfortunate memories that you no longer ought to warm. Because at that very moment, your eyes fix on the huge picture on the blank wall, chilling your warm blood, skipping your beats, and choking breaths. You never hide the distaste that gets mixed with your blood every time you catch the sight of that picture, and to be honest, it’s just growing.

A picture of your parent's wedding night.

You lie down huffing out a deep sigh, next second you close your eyes, finding him smiling at you, and again a tear courses down your eyes melting away into your hairline, God these mood swings will be the end of me.

The third, once precious but now you change your route upon seeing him, Jeon Jungkook, where will you start about him? Once a friend twisted into a stepbrother by the grace of fate. It's that awfully easier for anyone to understand but to you - it's another dreadfully unpleasant memory marked on the darkest corner of your soul for the rest of your life

Although you're to be blamed for it.

Ache, written gracefully in your story.

It almost dies you, curling your toes and curling your trembling fists at the same time, every time your brain takes you to fly back to the time when there was something more. It gets hard to face, but that’s your reality, now.

So, these men are out of your league, given the reasons.

One is engaged today.

The other one, your best friend, you never saw him in the way your mum wants you to see him, perhaps it’d be impossible for you to even envisage such an irrationally illogical future with him and surely beyond your senses. It will only create awkward situations and complex everything in between.

For the third one, you won’t say much, barely two words popping in the back of your mind, to burn the bridge of imagination - moonshot.

Tomorrow it’s date night, and your period cramps are making you think if you’ll even see the light of day.

[just-someone-who-likes-to-write]

Delayed Fate

(A/N): Hello everyone this is my first fic where I don't take requests ((And first Namor Fic!))but get ideas by spinning three wheels in an app. One wheel has characters that I like, Second sentences that I will be using, the third is the AUs it would be set in. The third Wheel has only Soulmates AUs, but if I got inspired I might add another AU to future stories, just to make them more interesting. Without further or do, I hope you enjoy this one.

Character: Namor / Ku'ku'lkán

Alphabet AU: A...Aging stops at 18 until you find your soulmate so the two of you can grow old together.

Sentence number: 40 - "Anywhere with you is everywhere I want to be."

Warnings: black panther forever spoilers, angst, mentions of injuries, fluff at the end, grammatic error. (If i missed any warnings please tell me.)

Word count: 9,724

Aging can be a terrifying process for most.

Growing older, becoming weaker, your body changing in ways you didn't expect or understand, and having to depend on others for the smallest of things. It is indeed terrifying. That is why some people would try and stay young as long as possible, and it's not by doing the usual thing where they would use pharmaceutical products or do surgeries. But they would be going as far as doing everything in their power to not meet their soulmate, the one person who they are meant to grow old with, to finally start their life together.

In this world, people stopped aging after their 18th birthday, when they are meant to go out and explore the world and meet people in hopes that one of them is their destined partner. But meeting a soulmate is like a cruel game of guessing because you would have to spend significant time with this person in order to see if you aged or not. When realizing that none of them aged the partners would either break up immediately or stay together for the sake of not being alone, but as said before, others would do everything in their power to disconnect themselves from people for the sake of an immortal life, which is foolish since there is no true immortality, everyone dies in the end, either by fate or beside the one they love.

That's why after (Y/n)'s 18th birthday she did not waste time and ventured into the world to meet people and have new experiences in hopes that one day she would meet the one who is meant for her and her for them. Now, the longest a person stayed 18 before meeting their soulmate was less than 50 years, so imagine her surprise, disappointment, and sadness when she spent almost 300 years alone.

In the first 100 years (Y/n) was crying, not only because she still haven't found the one, but also because she saw how the world around her was going by fast, her family was dying, her close friends who already found their soulmates were growing older, forcing her to be left behind as everyone around her was living their lives. She realized that she doesn't have a place around in her hometown so she decided to leave and find a home somewhere else. During her 200 years, she explored everything she could, the different cultures, learned different languages, and learned how to fight to protect herself from those who found out about her "Situation" and wanted to use her. Shield reached out to her and asked to help them build their organization with the promise of tending to her every need as long as she lived and she took it.

(Y/n) even came across magic users, which lead her to meet the ancient one who helped her accept this long life of hers, she stayed with them a good 40 years, learning what she could about magic since she did not have the talent for mystic arts. During that time (Y/n) has already several homes around the world, thanks to the money that she was investing and the money that Shield would provide her with, she owned several weapons, mechanics, firearms, and even traditional weapons. One day she heard of an artifact in the corners of Nigeria that might hold some magical power, she didn't know what it was but she knew that if it was dangerous she needed to keep it with her or at least deliver it to the ancient one.

That's how she met King T'Chanda and found out about Wakanda.

She remembered the look of pity he gave her when she told him her story, maybe that pity is the reason why he extended a hand of friendship, and to maintain this friendship she swore that she would never speak of his country's existence. Every few years she would go there and visit him, for a while he was the same as her. He lived as a young man for a long time, which made her understand the look of pity he gave her because he understood what she was going through. So her jealousy was also understandable when she came to visit one day and found him aged a few years with his hand wrapped around a beautiful woman who was pregnant. (Y/n) held no romantic feelings for the king, but she hoped selfishly that he would remain without a soulmate like herself, that she would at least have a friend like herself. But again, she forced herself to accept the reality that she would be alone for a very long time until something came to end her life, but up until that happens she would live her life the best she could.

Now, the great thing about the Wakandan Royal family is that they accepted her as she is, they did not give her weird looks nor did they attempt to experiment on her, like how most of the world acted. She remembered how annoyed she was when T'Chanda made his son T'Chaka call her "Great Aunt" and from then on she was called as such despite her very youthful look. But she accepted in the end and even enjoyed it a bit.

Then (Y/n) entered the 20th century and everything started to go crazy. She could handle the super soldier project because it was kind of expected after seeing in what way humanity's technology was taking, especially in the name of winning a war. Then there was the time when she found out that aliens existed, which means that alien invasion was inevitable so she took the right measures and that was staying away from it, because what can she do? Immortal or not she was still a human with no power, yes she has magical items that can be used as weapons but that would be risking exposing the existence of sorcerers so she decided to just stay back, after all, Fury assured her that he has a plan and that is by assembling a team of heroes.

Where was (Y/n) during all that? Having a very long vacation in Wakanda, where she was helping Shuri test her new inventions and helping her prank her brother. She would train with T'Challa and give him bits of advice that he might need as a future king. And, Of course, she would chat with T'Chaka and Ramonda and even lecture them, which was a funny scene for their children to see them being lectured by an 18-year-old girl. Yes, she had a really close connection to the Wakandan royal family, which was understandable when she helped T'Challa try and catch his father's assassin. (Y/n) got a lot of backlash because of it from Fury when he found out the truth. It caused her to be kicked out of shield, but she didn't care because she knew that if she stopped T'Challa from seeking revenge his anger would have blinded him further, and would have probably rebelled and caused further harm not only to himself and his family, so she allowed him to let out everything from his system knowing, in the end, he would be able to find his own way back.

So it was understandable how happy she felt when T'Challa came back with the said assassin wanting to help him recover after learning why he did what he did.

Then after that in a few years, the snap happened, and (Y/n) did not disappear like half of the universe. Because of Fury's disappearance, Shield contacted her begging her to come back and help them control the chaos, which she reluctantly did. She did not want to go but Queen Ramonda assured her that they will keep in touch and that Wakanda was probably more prepared than the rest of the world, which was engulfed in chaos.

(Y/n) might have lived centuries, but those 5 years felt longer and emptier. Jumping from country to country to help assert order, calling what is left of the Avengers to see if they had anything they could use, and when she has time she would contact Shuri and Ramonda. At the start of her, "immortality" (Y/n) would have depressive episodes that she struggled greatly with but thanks to the ancient one who helped her learn how to cope with it, she thought she got over it but there she was crying in her apartment wishing that all of it would just end, the loneliness is getting to her again and she was afraid that this time she won't be able to escape it.

Thankfully, Scott Lang showed up and gave them the hope to fix all of this. When they finally built the time machine (Y/n) told them that she was going back to Wakanda to tell them the good news, coincidentally, shortly after the time of her arrival the people who had disappeared in the middle of the battlefield materialized back. (Y/n) cried with joy as she saw T'Challa reunite with his family.

After the war was over (Y/n) resigned despite Fury's attempts to persuade her to stay, but she refused because she did not want to be alone anymore. She moved permanently to Wakanda, who welcomed her with open arms. She became an unofficial consultant to King T'Challa, whether it was concerning his people or his love life she was there to aid him, same with Shuri who always told her about different types of shields and weapons that she could create for (Y/n) to protect herself with since she was still just a human, she would keep Ramonda company when her children were too occupied with their work to be with her.

They were her family, her people, but she knew that one day she would have to say goodbye to them as she continued living, but she didn't expect that goodbye would come much too soon with T'Challa.

(Y/n) was with Shuri in the lab trying to help her think of how to bring the plant back to save him, if they could turn back time to save half the universe then why not bring back an extinct plant to save their king. But when T'Challa asked to see them, (Y/n) went while Shuri stayed back saying that she was so close and can't waste time.

"I… I have a request to make-" His words were cut off by a harsh cough, which caused (Y/n) to hurry to his side in an attempt to soothe him.

"Don't strain yourself." She lectured but T'Challa shook his head and waved his hand to those who were in the same room extracting them to leave them alone, before turning back to her.

"My great aunt…" He murmured with a tired smile, which caused (Y/n)'s heart to ache as she fought back tears.

"I know that I might be asking too much of you…" he uttered between gasps as he struggled to breathe. "Take it … as a dying man's … final wish…"

"Don't say that, Shuri and I will find a way to bring back the plant and you will be good again." she assured. "Just … please hang on a little bit longer."

He just smiled at her, which caused (Y/n) to break into tears, T'Challa squeezed her hand as a way to comfort her but it only made her cry more as his hold was also weak.

"I'm sorry to have caused you more pain…I know you had gone through enough loss… but…my time is coming soon, I can feel it." He tried to reason but (Y/n) only shook her head, refusing to acknowledge such truth. T'Challa decided to continue.

"Please look after them…" He finally confessed. "Not my mother and sister only…"

(Y/n) immediately understood the implication and looked at him and nodded as she wiped her tears.

"And don't tell Shuri…she is not ready… at least not now."

Throughout her life (Y/n) saw many different reactions to loss. Some cried and screamed until they had nothing else to let out. Others raged out, breaking everything in front of them and even fighting others. There are those few who ignored it and continue with life as if nothing had happened, very few accept it. but the reaction that she saw the most of, was acting hastily and irrationally. Whether it was by saying something they don't mean or doing something that they might regret later thinking it was the best decision while they were high on emotions. Both (Y/n) and the queen understood that things weren't safe enough to bring T'Challa's son, not only the world but also Wakanda, and if Shuri found out she would probably demand that the boy be brought back or she would go to him, which would risk his safety because they still don't know how she would act when she does meet him. So after the King's death, Ramonda and (Y/n) grieved with Shuri and did their best to help her cope with her emotions.

After a year of isolating herself in her lab, Ramonda decided to take Shuri out one night so she might connect with her daughter again, which (Y/n) encouraged. She expected many reactions after their return.

Anger, more sadness, neutral as if nothing happened, and the reaction she hoped for was happiness and acceptance, but what she did not expect was both of them to return with a look of pure fear and worry.

"There was this kid- well he looked like a kid but he isn't, he has wings on his ankles!... he just comes out from the water and started making demands-" Shuri was trying to explain to (Y/n) who was lost and trying to understand her.

"Shuri, breath dear, who are you speaking about?" (Y/n) Asked with great concern.

"He said his name was Namor."

When they explained her situation more clearly, (Y/n) to try and help them come up with a plan on what they should do, she told Ramonda how some will agree to just give him the American scientist to do whatever he wants with them and that others will demand a fight. She must be the neutral ground so that they won't dare judge any decision she makes. So she decided to just bring the scientist, to at least be protected by them, and then on they would negotiate with this "Namor" person.

"What if we took great aunt with us?" piped in Shuri and her mother and Okoye's not so whispered conversation. "Maybe even call in my favorite colonizer."

Ramonda was hesitant when she thought it was only Okoye and Shuri but having the great aunt with them reassured her a bit, that's why (Y/n) can't imagine how she must be as she stared up at the walls of the cave around her. She was the first to wake up after she, Shuri, and Riri were taken by the blue soldiers whom she assumed were Namor's. The women that were assigned to them, who were also blue, motioned for her to come with them, giving sleeping Shuri one last look (Y/n) hesitantly followed her to a room covered in murals, and in the middle of it He stood.

"I assumed you are Namor?" She questioned, earning his attention.

When their eyes met (Y/n)'s heart thumped heavily against her rib cage, her body felt as if something washed over her as if something was lifted, and looking at him she could tell he probably felt it too because he gave her a look of bewilderment. Before any of them could say anything another woman came and told him something and he replied to her an order before she bowed and left.

"It looks like the princessa is awake." He stated, his voice causing a shiver to go down her spine.

"If you dared to harm her, I swear to-"

"All of you surface dwellers are the same, always marching to fight without thinking." He replied.

"Says the guy whose people ambushed us on the bridge and then kidnapped us."

"If I remember correctly it was you who came to me willingly."

"And allow you to kill an innocent soul?"

"I will kill thousands if it meant the safety of my people!"

Before she could reply to him Shuri came in and stood between him and (Y/n), in an attempt to protect her after hearing his last statement.

"And if you dared to harm my great aunt it would be you who dies next!" She threatened while glaring at him.

"Great aunt?" Repeated Namor with a puzzled look as his eyes darted between Shuri and her. then it clicked, and he focused on (Y/n). "How old are you?"

"You know … up there it's rude to ask for a woman's age." (Y/n) jested as she deflected the question, not trusting him enough to tell him anything about herself.

Having a closer look at the boy in front of her she realized that he was also around her age, he had a lean yet fit body, and his face was bare from facial hair, the thing that is giving him some sense of maturity was the accessories that he wore but from the way that he was acting he must be like her, stuck in this young body until they met their significant other, she didn't know if he was older or younger than her but what she does now is that this long life can have different effects on people, and since he was so determined to protect his people to the level of taking innocent lives she can tell he was unbalanced.

He asked to talk to Shuri privately since she was only true royalty of Wakanda, but (Y/n) still insisted to keep a safe distance so she can see them, and every now and then her eyes met his when Shuri wasn't paying attention, it's as if he was examining her and she couldn't blame him because she was doing the same thing to him. (Y/n) protested when he offered for Shuri to see his home but the princess assured her that she was going to be safe, when she did come back after what felt like forever she was met with a tight hug.

"I'm fine." Shuri assured as she hugged her back.

"I'm just glad that you're back safe." (Y/n) pulled away enough to examine the princess, then glared at Namor who chuckled at your actions.

"Great aunt I'm fine… it… it was beautiful!" Shuri exclaimed excitedly.

Shuri started chattering away to (Y/n) about the city that she saw, the Talokan, its people, and the "sun" that he had built for them, Namor was right beside them listening in, probably to make sure she doesn't tell too much.

"She is the first from the surface to come to Talokan." He confined before pulling out a bracelet to give it to Shuri. "Please take this as a token of our gratitude."

Before Shuri could accept his gift (Y/n) stopped him, being suspicious.

"What is it?" Shuri was about to lecture her about being too paranoid, but Namor's answer confirmed her suspicions.

"It was made with the plant that saved Talokan." He informed as he continued to give the bracelet to Shuri and tight on her wrist, he was staring at (Y/n) as if silently challenging her to stop him again before turning back to Shuri.

"You are young, Princess." He Stated. "When you age as I do, you realize we all lose everyone we love."

"But when I lost my brother, it just felt different." Shuri said with grief in her voice. "He suffered in silence. When he finally asked me to help him I couldn't"

(Y/n) hugged her in an attempt to comfort her and the princess leaned into it as she fought tears.

"How does it make sense that the ancestors would give me gifts and skills to help me save my brother, and I couldn't?... Why?"

"I don't have an answer for that question." Replied Namor.

"But I do…" (Y/n) chimed in earning both their attention. "My dear, I won't go into a long rant about what the ancestors were planning for you. I have lived long enough and have come across many religions, but most of them if not all believed in similar things and that life challenges us to become better. It can be a very painful journey, but what I know for sure is that you can never come out as the defeated if you knew how to harvest those talents and skills along with those emotions you can be better, not only for yourself but for everyone around you."

Shuri sat there as if she was not convinced by what (Y/n) just said, even pulling herself away from her hold, which saddened her. Seeing the woman's frown Namor felt the need to comfort her, but he didn't know how until he finally said.

"My ancestors would often say, "Only the most broken people can be great leaders"." Those words earned him the two women's attention again.

"I admire what you have built here." Started Shuri. "And you've protected your people.  But as a princess of Wakanda, I will not stand for you killing that young woman."

They tried reasoning with the king but their efforts were in vain as every time they tried to reason with him, promising him that they will do everything to protect not only his people but also the secrecy of their existence, he refused. Their conversation was cut short when one of his people came and told him that the queen was there to speak with him.

"You said you wanted to burn the world." He said to Shuri. "Let's burn it together."

And before he left completely he gave a glance to (Y/n), which she returned. When they went back to Riri to tell her of the possible upcoming war, Shuri and (Y/n) tried to discuss their next move, not noticing when Nakia came shooting one of the women warriors, then the poor terrified girl who was tending to them.

"We need to go." Nakia urged but both Shuri and (Y/n) refused to.

"Give me the beads I can save her." the princess ordered.

"Shuri, I don't know who this lady is, but we need to listen to her." Riri pleaded, fear clear on her face.

"Listen, I hit her with a sonic round, it is lethal from this distance. There is no chance." Nakia informed.

"You don't understand this will mean war." Shuri argued back.

(Y/n), sick of their banter, pulled Shuri's hands away from the injured girl before pulling her own beads and started aiding her herself.

"Shuri, go." (Y/n) ordered.

"Great aunt-"

"I said GO!"

With that said Nakia pulled Shuri away knowing that there is no time to also convince (Y/n) to come with them, the princess was a priority and both of them knew that. The immortal woman refused to pull away from the injured girl until she was sure that the bleeding stopped, she was so focused that she did not notice when Namor came behind her, and upon seeing the blood he pulled (Y/n) away harshly to kneel beside the girl and hold her head in his hands.

"What happened my child?" He spoke in his language, which (Y/n) did not understand, she was about to say something but stopped when another warrior came and slammed her to the ground pinning her.

"The Wakandans….they came for her." she struggled to speak, before pointing to (Y/n). "She stayed…"

Namor looked to the pinned surface dweller who did not struggle against his warrior's hold, as if to show her submission.

"K'uk'ulkan…." The girl called, grasping his attention again. "Can you save me?"

At her question, Namor looked down at her wound and found it mostly closed and the bleeding has stopped thankfully.

"You are going to be safe my child." He said before turning to one of the warriors and giving him an order, the warrior knelt to pick up the girl and hurried out of the cave.

He stood up and walked to (Y/n), who could only see his feet, but she assumed that he was staring down at her, and he was. Another woman came dressed in red to speak with him.

"They came… while you spoke to the queen?" She questions. "We should not have trusted her, the queen has seen our home, what is stopping them from coming for Talokan?"

"I will…" He replied. "With her here."

Namor order the warriors to bring her to his hut, and even though they did it harshly by pulling her up and dragging her around like a rag doll (Y/n) still did not fight back and kept calm. She was forced to stand in front of him as they were left alone and Namor knew it was a struggle for the woman for he can see how her figure was shaking slightly, yet her face held a stern look.

"You attempted to kill my people." He started.

"You kidnapped their princess, what did you expect them to do? To set back and wait?" (Y/n) shot back, which earned her a scowl from the king.

"If that child have died it would be your head on a spike right now."

"But she didn't."

Namor was in front of her in an instant and grabbed her by the neck and squeezed, not giving her any chance to breathe, and just watched as (Y/n) struggled.

"I could snap your neck like a twig right now and they won't care. The Wakandans have proven to be just as worst as the rest of the surface dwellers after I have shown my home and people to her and you dare to still defend them in front of me."

"B..Because…" (Y/n) struggled to take breaths as she spoke. "You…are a rash … brat!"

With those words Namor let her go, causing her to fall to the ground as she took quick breaths.

"A brat?" He repeated. "I may look young but I assure you I am older than your great great grandfather."

"And I can be your great great GREAT grandmother." She retorted mockingly. "You are not special just because you lived long, because you are not acting it."

"How dare you insult me!" He seethed.

"No." (Y/n) stopped him from talking more as she stood on her feet. "You are the one who came out of nowhere demanded an innocent life delivered to you, and even when you had her you still wanted more. you didn't want peace from the start you just want the war to quench your own rage against humanity."

"They are the ones who threatened my people's existence by exposing their resources, causing them to hunger for it."

"Maybe they shouldn't have done that, but to be fair Wakanda did not know of your people's existence when they revealed themselves they were ready to fight the world by themselves, they didn't know of Talokan, or else it would have been a different story." (Y/n) continued. "Listen, what happened has happened and we cannot change it, but what we can change is what will happen next. Both the Wakandans and I have ways to assure Talokan's safety, we can-"

"I don't need your help!" He bawled. "I gave Wakanda their chance to yield and they threw it away."

"See! There you go again and you say why I call you a child."

Namor reached out to her and (Y/n) closed her eyes and held her hands up ready for pain but it didn't come, and when she opened her eyes slowly she could see that he had stepped back and given her his back as he faced the murals of his people.

"The only reasons you are still alive are two." He said as he turned back to face her, his face suspiciously calm. "The first is because you stayed to save one of my people, which I would be lying if I said I wasn't grateful for."

He started taking a few steps toward her making her take a few steps back until her back touched the door, he stopped in front of her and leaned forward, his face inches from her own. (Y/n) wasn't the same teenage girl who would get flustered over the smallest things, like a charming smile, or a wink but she doesn't understand why was her heart beating fast she was face to face with a man in an isolated cave that she can never escape from, who can kill her at any desired moment. She would have marked it as fear if she didn't feel her face heating up.

"You are welcome." She replied, trying to make light of her emotions. "And what is the second reason?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He asked rhetorically, before looking to the door behind her. "Llévala!"

Suddenly, the door opened almost making her fall but was caught by the same warriors who brought her here, instead of being as compliant as she was previously, she was struggling and demanding to be let go.

"The second reason is for you to stay here as my captive, that if the princess decided to do anything stupid it would be you who will pay for it."

He promised and motioned for his hand for them to take her away, but before she was out of earshot (Y/n) said one last thing.

"Don't do anything rash you brat! It's not only the Wakandans who will suffer!"

Namor believed that those words were a threat, which fueled his determination to go and give Wakanda a taste of who they are going against.

---

(Y/n) was pacing back and forth in her cell, anxiety eating her alive as she was biting her lip until it bleed and nail until it was gone. Looking outside her cell she saw the guards who didn't move an inch since they threw her there, she tried talking to them but they either didn't understand her or just ignored her. Searching for an escape was useless, she did try to use the beads to communicate with Shuri and warn her about Namor but a cave under the sea is hardly the perfect place to find a signal to the surface let alone to Wakanda. (Y/n) made a note to herself to tell Shuri about a possible new upgrade.

She was pulled out of her train of thought when she heard the sound of splashing. She wasted no time and pressed herself against the bars and started to call.

"NAMOR!" She shouted. "Namor! Is that you!?"

Saying nothing the king came from the corner, and looked at her and when her eyes met his own she could feel a chill of fear go down her spine. (Y/n) lived long enough to know what that look meant, but she hoped to any god that is hearing her that what she was thinking was not the truth.

"What did you do?" The question slipped out unconsciously. Namor averted his eyes with an angry huff at being confronted, but in his eyes, she could see a hint of shame, and that filled her with rage. "If you hurt Shuri in any way I promise I will kill you myself!"

(Y/n) saw many people die in her long life, most of them were really dear to her, but no matter how many times she goes through the heartache doesn't become easier, especially if she was there since their birth. The only reason she was able to go through T'Chaka and T'Challa's death was that she had someone to support her and people to look after to distract herself. But here she was alone, in a cave under the sea, facing the man who probably hurt Shuri and not being able to do anything.

"No harm came to the queen." He replied simply, and that fueled her rage.

"I was talking about the princess! Not the queen!"

"She is queen now."

Namor said nothing more as he started walking away leaving (Y/n) to realize what he had meant. Before he could close the door to his chamber he can hear a distant scream of distress and a series of curses of his name. He just groaned as he isolated himself in his room trying to block her voice as he thought about his next step before the week is up. However, he couldn't do any of that for the entire time he was fighting the urge to walk to that cell and stop her from crying, not by yelling at her but by trying to reason with her, to try and justify his actions, how it was the only way. Or maybe it was just to let her let out her anger against him, give her the satisfaction to curse at him, and probably even hit him, which he know will not do any real harm to him.

It drove him crazy, but what drove him even crazier is WHY was he feeling these urges towards a surface dweller. Was it because he understood her pain? To live for so long and see everyone around you die and not be able to do anything to stop it? to not being able to say goodbye to someone you knew since their birth?

He couldn't dwell on those questions more as he realized that it became quiet again, taking the chance that her screams will not distract him Namor went immediately to planning. Determined to bring Wakanda to submit to him.

---

"There is another machine in our waters"

Namor said from outside of the cell as he stared at the back of his immortal prisoner who decided to set in the corner with her back to the exit, completely ignoring the king, which annoyed him. but he couldn't find it in himself to voice this annoyance.

"We will go and destroy it." He informed. "But there will still be a guard over you and a maid to make sure you are fed and looked after."

When he said those words his eyes landed on the bowl of fruit that was untouched and it bothered him greatly. He knew she was immortal and cannot die so easily like himself, but he knew that they were still affected by physical pains, including hunger, and (Y/n) didn't have anything for almost a week now. The only thing he was sure of to keep her functioning was the few sips of water she would take now and then. He did try to trick her once into drinking juice but when he did that she still refused to take it. Whether it was out of grief or she was just being rebellious either way, it saddened him and angered him at the same time.

He didn't even know why was he trying to talk to her now. He tried talking to her since the day he told her of what happened, but she kept ignoring him, making him feel stupid as he had a one-sided conversation, trying to justify what he did and lecturing her on how what she was doing to herself was stupid but she didn't care.

Feeling that he had wasted enough time Namor huffed in anger before turning around to leave, then he finally heard her.

"You are going to regret it."

"What?" He questioned as he turned back to her, but she went back to being quiet. "What did you just say?"

"….You are going to regret it."

(Y/n) finally looked at him from over her shoulder. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying, her hair disheveled and her skin pale from lack of nutrition. He didn't say another as she turned again and gave him her back.

Namor would have probably lashed out at her, confronting her on the threat she threw at him, but she said nothing as he turned back and walked away. it was probably because her voice did not sound threatening or taunting, but rather a statement.

---

(Y/n) eyes tiredly opened as someone was shaking her awake and calling her name in a panic. When the fog cleared up she saw that standing above and holding her in their arm is none other than Shuri, whose eyes were full of tears yet still had a relieved smile on her face. She said something that she couldn't grasp before the young princess pulled her into a hug, and mustering any strength she had left (Y/n) hugged her back as a few tears escaped her eyes.

Looking up she noticed that Namor was standing there the entire time, observing the reunion in silence, but that wasn't what drew her attention, but rather a scratch mark on his face, and one of his ankles was wrapped in bandages, he was wearing a poncho that covered his upped body but she swears she could see more, and deeper scratches littering his body. Their eyes met and looking at him (Y/n) almost didn't recognize him, she didn't know how long she was out for, but she could swear that Namor looked more mature.

"What did you do to her?!" Shuri shouted at the King, snapping him out of whatever trance he was lost in, and turned to her.

"I did not lay a finger on her or mistreated her." He clarified. "She is the one who refused to eat or drink after… the news."

He said the last part quietly as he looked away in shame. When he said that more tears showed on (Y/n) at the memory and pulled Shuri back into a hug, squeezing her as hard as she can, which wasn't a lot but it was enough for the princess who hugged her back crying silently.

"I'm so sorry my dear." (Y/n) said her voice horse from not talking or consuming anything. "I…I wish I was there… I should have…"

"You have nothing to apologize for." Shuri assured as she cut her off. "Let's just go back home."

(Y/n) let out a sound of surprise as Shuri hooked her left arm under her legs and the right one on her back before lifting her up, which shocked the weak woman.

"Are you wearing some type of a new upgrade?.. Because I'm sure that I haven't lost THAT much weight for you to just lift me like I weigh nothing."

Her question made Shuri laugh as she carried her outside the cave, passing by Namor who stayed out of their way and just followed them silently. When they reached the edge of the pool Shuri was moving around (Y/n) to give her the latest update that would help her swim easily even in her weak state. During that, she would steal glances at Namor and each time his eyes never left her. She wanted to say something but couldn't or didn't know what to say, and from his few glances at Shuri, she can tell that he was also hesitant to speak. The sound of reeving power pulled her out of her thoughts as she saw the machine wrapped around her glitter with pulsed energy indicating that it was ready.

"We can go now, just make sure you stay close to me."

She instructed before reaching around her neck to activate the mask but (Y/n) stopped her, which earned her a confused look, but her great-aunt simply turned to the king who was still standing there. Namor's face showed no emotion but he was preparing himself for her to lecture him, insult him, curse him, let out her pent-up anger, and maybe even express her disappointment since she did warn him that his rash actions would cause him to lose in more ways than one. but he didn't count on her to give him a kind smile as if they were close friends.

"I will see you again."

Not a question, but a promise. If the feeling of surprise was obvious on his face then none of the women mentioned it as they dived into the water and left. When he broke out of his surprised state he just scuffed and went back to his chamber where he will paint a mural of the battle that took place against the black panther for his people's history. But in a different part of the room, one where it was mostly for himself he painted the immortal woman, when she interacted with him, when she saved the maid, and when she was his prisoner.

"I will see you again."

The promise echoed in his head, which made him unconsciously smile while he painted her smile, secretly excited and hoping for the next meeting to come soon.

---

(Y/n) sat on her private beach under the umbrella with a book in hand, trying to relax but her eyes kept scanning over the same paragraph without absorbing any of the words as she kept recalling what happened on her last visit to Wakanda which was last week.

"I'm sorry, what??" (Y/n) exclaimed as she stared at the screen that the A.I presented for both her and Shuri, who also was in disbelief.

"Your body aged 2 years." Griot repeated as he held up 2 pictures of (Y/n) on the glass screen and started noting the slight differences. "There are discreet changes, for example, Your muscles and bones have grown stronger, your weight changed, which brings up your metabolism lowering very slightly, but it is still noticeable like the start of wrinkles showing around the eyes and acne surfacing-"

"That's enough, Griot." Shuri cuts him off as she stares at (Y/n) who was in shock.

She always knew that she was still a mortal despite her long life but for it to finally start to come close to an end without her being aware of it was overwhelming. Shuri did not leave (Y/n)'s side since they found out, she did her best to comfort her great aunt, even starting teasing her and listing to all the possible people that she had met that could be her soulmate, but (Y/n) shot every possibility down for she already had someone in mind and instead of explaining it to the now queen of Wakanda she excused herself to have alone time.

Shuri thought that when she said she wanted to be alone was to be left in her room until (Y/n) was ready to talk, she didn't expect to talk to her great aunt via call scolding her on when and how she left Wakanda without saying anything. But they worked it out. And here she was now, convincing herself that she just needed time to think about what to do next and how to approach the situation when she was in fact too afraid to actually face it.

"So this is where you have been hiding?"

A familiar voice asked making her jump away and take a fighting stance, an instinct she has from years of fighting and being ambushed, but she stopped when she saw that standing in front of her was none other than Namor, but he looked different.

"Did you grow a beard?" Was the first thing that came out of her mouth, which made him chuckle.

"Yes, it is nice to meet you again too." He replied sarcastically.

Namor still looked young except for the small amount of facial hair that looked well taken care of, and he felt her staring because he subconsciously reached his hand to his face and started scratching his beard as he averted his eyes.

"I always wanted to grow one but never got the chance with my body stuck at a certain age." He started explaining. "You could imagine my surprise when a few months after my battle with Wakanda that hair started to grow on my face."

His eyes then met hears again, none of them saying anything but the silence was loud enough for (Y/n) to understand what he was trying to say. Saying nothing the woman sat back down at her spot but this time made space beside her and patted it encouraging the king to set beside her, which he hesitantly did. They stayed quiet for a long time before he finally spoke.

"You have your own part of the sea?" it was more of a statement than a question.

"It's called a private beach." (Y/n) explained. "You can imagine how crowded and dirty public beaches are, and since I have a lot of money I bought my own, not even fishing boats are allowed around here."

"This part of the water did look cleaner as I came closer and the creatures beneath are thriving from the lack of fishermen and filth."

"I do my best to have my own little piece of heaven in this world." She shrugged, trying to hide some of the happiness she felt from his comment.

It was silence again between them, only the sound of the crashing waves can be heard, which eased any anxiety the two might have felt.

"How are your people?  Since … well, you know…" She asked awkwardly just wanting to break the silence.

"They are well." He answered. "The black panther kept her promise on protecting my people's safety, although some of them are still unsure of the treaty."

"You say it as if you were ok with it." He tried to say something but she stopped him. "Don't even try to say you aren't, I know it was hard for you to submit."

She could practically see him tense for a moment as he clenched his jaws, probably angry but forced himself to calm down as he took a few breaths and closed his eyes.

"I will do anything for my people's safety… even if it means yielding to a worthy opponent."

"what wise words, I see you have grown more than just a beard and a mustache I see." (Y/n) teased him with a smile.

"A person grows in many ways throughout life…" He said before averting his eyes to the sea. "… Especially after meeting their soulmate."

(Y/n) eyes widened slightly as she too averted her eyes to the sea thinking about what to say next. She knew she can't escape the topic, but it didn't make it any easier to face it.

"When did you find out?"

"I wasn't sure at first." He started to explain. "When I noticed the changes in my body years ago I suspected that it could be either you or the panther."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" She asked annoyance clear in her voice. "It must have been nice having all that time to accept what is happening, but I only found out about my aging a couple of days ago."

"After the battle and everything that I have done, I wasn't sure if either of you wanted to see me again, let alone accept me as a soulmate." He explained as he turned fully to face her. "You must understand my hesitation to come up to the person I imprisoned or killed their mother and ask them to be with me."

 Of course (Y/n) understood, but it is still frustrated her that he knew and she didn't, that he had the time to get in terms with this new reality, then come to her and confront her…

"Wait… how did you know it was me?" She questioned. "You keep saying that you suspected that it was either me or Shuri."

"She called me." He answered. "She used the shell I gave her to call me and she told me it was about you and how to reach you."

"So much for a private beach." (Y/n) muttered to herself.

"Are you…. Are you disappointed?" He stuttered out the question causing (Y/n) to almost snap her neck with how fast she turned to him in shock.

"What?"

There was a look of concern and uncertainty, dare she say even fear in his face as he tried repeating the question.

"Are you disappointed?" He asked again this time more firmly.

"About what?" She asked not because she was confused but rather because she was unsure if he was indeed asking her that.

"About me being your soulmate." He continued. "I know it must be how you feel given the brief past we had. But that was in different situations, we can start anew as you humans put it, to know each other more before deciding hastily to not see each other again and then-"

"Wait! Wait wait wait WAIT!"

(Y/n) interrupted him quickly catching the king by surprise at her sudden outburst, her hands were up wanting him to halt any more words but her face was facing down, so he was not able to see her expression. He started panicking a little when her shoulders were shaking slightly, thinking the reality of their bond upset her, but his confusion grew when she started giggling before letting out a bark of laughter. Her sudden change of behavior was alarming to the king, dare he say he was offended.

"Can I ask why are you laughing at my confession?" He asked calmly yet the silent anger behind it was very clear.

It didn't intimidate (Y/n), but she forced herself to calm down for her soulmate seems to have a very short temper, which she noted to herself to work on with him. She stopped her laughter but her smile was still showing.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but at what you said." When gave a confused look she started explaining. "You came here confessing to me how you thought your soulmate could be either the warrior queen of Wakanda who also happens to be the new Black Panther or some woman with no title nor magic power of some kind and you ask me if I was disappointed with having the king of an underwater city, who is worshiped as a god, for a soulmate."

He seems to understand her view on the matter, but he still shook his head as if disappointed. He reached forward slowly for her hand as if expecting her to pull away but when she didn't he was confident enough to grasp her hand. His rough fingers were tracing the lines in the palm of her hand.

"You are… a woman, a human woman who  doesn't have the power of the panther nor that of a god." He stated making her narrow her eyes at him.

"Buuut?" (Y/n) asked calmly yet that was this small hint of irritation, which made him chuckle. Seeing his smile made her show a smile of her own.

"But...You still walked this earth as one."

"As one you mean?" she trailed off confused.

"As a creature who pushes beyond the limitation they were given." He continued before looking up at her, his eyes holding softness towards her. "The panther told me of your past, or at least what she knows of it."

If he felt her hand tense in his hold he said nothing and just continued to rub the palm of her hand with his thump, it helped soothe her nerves but she still felt uneasy about what he had to say next.

"I don't know what you exactly did, but I know enough to tell from our short time together… that you didn't set back and watched as the world passed by around you. Learning everything the world has to give and returning it by helping those around you. You had a great part in building this world, even when they don't deserve it."

(Y/n) didn't know whether to roll her eyes or laugh at his last statement. They have to work on that attitude of his if they are going to act on what is happening between them.

"I understand how you feel." She finally said, getting the king's full attention. "But I decide who deserves me or my labors, whether they would misuse it or not I will be the judge of that and will take responsibility for it."

Namor said nothing and just nodded and looked away toward the crashing waves whether he respected her ideas or not he didn't show it. for a while, neither of them said anything, both of them collecting their thoughts on what to say next, and the sea king seems to beat her to it.

"What do you want to do?" He asked giving her a side glance of curiosity before looking back to the sea. His question was simple yet the real meaning behind it was real. Do you want to have anything to do with me?

"First, I want to know you more." She answered in all honesty. "I don't want to rush anything between us only to be hurt later on."

"We are soulmates." He said in an almost hurried manner probably from the fear of rejection, she gave him a reassuring smile.

"I know, I just wish to understand why did fate bind 2 different souls from 2 different worlds together."

(Y/n) explained genuinely while extending her hand to his face she stopped inches away from his face, silently asking for permission, which he gave by resting his cheek in the palm of her hand and closing his eyes as if relishing in the feeling of her hand caressing his face. She brought her other hand up to hold the other side of his face and stroked his checks while her other fingers were gently scratching his beard. She can tell Namor was enjoying her attention towards him but she had to break the moment by pulling away and causing a frown and confused look to show on his face.

"Second…" She said, reminding him of the unfinished conversation. "I need to contact some… special people I know."

"Do you mean the panther?" He asked, thinking she needed to tell her of their decision.

"Well, I will have to speak to her too, but no. I need to talk to some people who might help with our…. situation."

"Situation?" He repeated confused. (Y/n) bit her lip finding it hard to explain.

"You age very slowly… I don't." She said gently,  his eyes widened slightly as if he had just realized it himself, she didn't like the sadness that started showing on his face so she explained. "I will just ask them if they have a way to extend my life."

He just nodded and gave a small smile, but the sadness was still clear in his eyes. (Y/n) knows the pain of watching the people you love grow old and disappear with time and not being able to do anything about it, but from what Shuri told her, Namor experienced this since his eyes opened to the world around him. Like her, he probably also hoped that his soulmate would show up soon to escape the loneliness. But she turned out to be a mortal, and with the time-freezing spell being lifted after their meeting, she will age in human speed while he will return to watching silently as the world kept moving fast around him, seeing people come and go into their world… including herself…

"Hey…" (Y/n) called catching the king's attention, he was met with her attempt at a comforting smile, which eased some of the grief he was feeling. "Those people live far away from any body of water but maybe I can contact one of them to come here, or maybe you can join me? You Can see some of the world and maybe even meet new people? I can understand if you don't want to, but if you did then I promise you there will be a lot of traveling to strange places. Fair warning seas king your soulmate here loves to travel a lot."

She teased him at that last part still smiling. (Y/n) she was asking him too much, not that she expected him to come with her considering not only his responsibility to his people but also his hatred for humanity, but she still wanted him to know that he is always welcome to be with her whenever he wishes to. Namor looked her in the eyes, his piercing dark eyes that 2 years ago looked at her with such loathing, now held nothing but softness towards her.

"Anywhere with you is everywhere I want to be."

Those words were spoken with such sincerity before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on top of her forehead, leaving her shocked as she stared at him with wide eyes, but the shock melted off her face and was replaced with a playful grin as she hit his shoulder.

"Don't get all sentimental on me, I thought you were a relentless sea king, not a softy lover."

"I am your lover now?" Namor asked as he scooted closer to her.

"You focused on that and not the relentless part?" (Y/n) questioned back with a raised brow.

"If it means I'm yours in the end, then yes." He had such a happy grin on his face that made her blush with how handsome he looked.

"You are so arrogant." She stated with a small chuckle as she tried to hide her face.

"But I'm yours." He replied confidently as he tried to make her look at him again.

"You're hot-tempered."

"I prefer fiery."

"God, you're obnoxious."

"Still yours."

(Y/n) was trying to push him away with every word she threw at him while fighting back laughter, but Namor kept leaning forward to her, enjoying this little game between them and wanting to enjoy her expression longer.

"Don't tell me you're going to be this clingy all the time?"

"More like affectionate and protective."

"Yeah, I have seen you being "protective" before, I know what that really means."

"Good, that means I don't have to hide it."

"what? Wait-"

(Y/n) let out a small screech as the Talokan king throw himself over her, just to lock his arms around her so she cannot escape his hold. She struggled and even hit his arms playfully, ordering him to let her go, but he wouldn't budge and just buried his face in the top of her head and closed his eyes, having a look of pure satisfaction. Seeing that, caused (Y/n) to show a smile of her own and decided to just give up the playful struggle, closed her eyes, and just relished the feeling of finally being complete.

---

I hope you guys enjoyed my first Namor fic!

[nrdmssgs]

Know your people

Masterlist

Summary: this is practically Nikolai and Zhar fangirling over the newest Chimera member, Nak. Just nice cozy moments of getting to know each other. (Just Nikolai nailing mentoring) Happens waaaay after the Matters. Phayvanh "Nak" Sotsvahn belongs to @vasyandii

No TWs.

"I'm not asking, how they are built. Ok, just describe primary defensive methods for protecting against HEAT rounds!"

Zhar doesn't even fully wake up, when her brain starts forming an answer automatically. "Three primary methods are use of stand-off armour, composite armour and explosive reactive armour, or ERA. A stand-off armour is a light layer situated in front of the main armour. This causes the HEAT warhead-"

A broad palm falls on her shoulders, and she finally opens her eyes, immediately regretting this. A meeting room falls silent as two pairs of eyes watch her. Olga raises her head from the desk, on which she accidentally fell asleep, and curses under her breath.

"I'll go make some coffee." Zhar mutters and tries to get up from the table, but Nikolai pulls her towards him for a short moment.

"Go sleep on a couch in my office. This one is stubborn - she won't calm down, till she knows this all by heart."

Nikolai gestures at a pile of schemes, texts and charts laying in front of Phayvanh, who, taking advantage of the moment, quickly repeats the material she is learning.

Zhar sighs and leaves them two to their over-protracted lesson. She was almost sure, it was illegal in some countries to deprive such a young person of sleep, right after her very first mission. Of course, every soldier, and Olga herself went through this: endless trainings, lessons, tests, deployments. But it was easier to do it all by herself, than to witness, how others have to walk down this path.

Nikolai loved to mock Olga for recruiting Krueger. "Your golden child is too stubborn for you to teach him new tricks. You wanted a seasoned professional - you got yourself one! Only he has no interest whatsoever in learning from you, commander... If I were you - I'd find someone fresh and raise them."

Usually at such moments, Zhar would look up at him and answer, “Says the guy who hired me, someone almost your age...”

"You, moye nebo, were raised by my best friend, so that doesn't count!"

That dialogue kept repeating every now and then, until Nikolai introduced Nak to others. One of the youngest members of Chimera, she was immediately assigned to the combat group, skipping a common for members of her age stage of work in the office. Zhar shared Nikolais excitement about such an incredible talented and hard-working soldier, but deep inside she was worried, that Nik will push his apprentice to the limits, just to prove his point.

Every time, Olga tried to steal Phayvanh away to give her time to rest, Nikolai was already there, behind Zhars back, whispering softly, but menacingly 'hands off, love, go train your German disaster, if you have that much free time'.

The more she watched Nikolai drill Phayvanh, the more she recognized so familiar John Price intonations in his voice. This reassured her, that Nak was safe with Nikolai.

That was, of course, until one evening Olga led her team back to the base and met Nik, preparing to meet the other group in the hangar.

"Didn't know, we were doing that infiltration this day as well. Who was on it?" Zhar already got used to Nikolai, checking if she got back unwounded, so she tries to find out fresh statuses of all their teams, while he practically scans her gear.

"Mhm, they did great, by the way. Syd is already back, Sebastian and Phayvanh will be back any minute."

Zhar frowns. "Don't tell me, you left Nak alone with Krueger... For fuck’s sake, Nik, our goal is to train her - not traumatize!"

Nikolai only chuckles, "I know my people, love. Phayvanh won't let that guy traumatize her. Never."

"You don't know what you are talking about! Krueger can be unbearable, when it comes to teamwork! Ok, I'll need a blanket for her... and maybe a bat for him." Olga takes off her gloves and grumbles something, and Nikolai laughs louder. Finally, he takes her by the shoulders and carefully turns her to face the entrance to the hangar where the car had just stopped.

Zhar awaits screams, swearing, the appearance of Krueger’s dissatisfied face, Nak’s cheeks shiny with tears. Her palms instinctively clench into fists. First, Krueger gets out of the car. Usually, by the end of the mission, he is always pissed with something: it doesn’t matter - with himself or those around him, in any case, it’s better not to fall into his hands. But now his face is surprisingly calm. Nak also gets out and whistles a low melody as she collects her ammunition, and Kruger calmly and patiently waits for her at the hangar doors to help her put everything in its place in the warehouse.

"Am I dreaming, or is this guy really doesn't try to eat anyone alive?" Olga relaxes and leans back against Nikolais chest.

He is happy, Zhar doesn't see his shit-eating grin, that might have ruined the moment. "Know your people, love. It's a two-way lane: we teach them the ways of war - they teach us their ways."

[wordsandrobots]

Had a pretty bad day so I'm going to boast about something.

I didn't mention it at the time but posting Chapter 14 of Ragnarök in G Minor on Friday took it past the previous high bar for individual Wishing on Space Hardware fic-length set by The Ares Affair (72,872 words vs 69,850). And this latest story isn't even halfway done. That'll come next week, and take the total word count for the series over 550,000 words.

(I'm hoping to land at about 555,000 because who wouldn't?)

Which is nice, and a good reminder of why, exactly, it took me half a year longer than expected to get Ragnarök finished. Because that did kind of disappoint me, but looking at it like this, it makes sense. There was a *lot* to get through to tie the overarching story together and give everybody some sort of key moment. My problem with writing fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans is that I want to write about ALL of it, and every single character, so it was probably inevitable that it wouldn't conclude with anything less then a doorstop of a fic.

Chapter 14 also marked the end of the character arc I started with the first IBO fic I wrote and I want to write a brief commentary on that. I'm planning a proper 'author's note' essay when the whole series is done, but this . . . this is something more specific.

(Behind a cut because it is talking about endgame stuff for Wishing on Space Hardware, which is already a post-canon fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans, so, yeah. Take heed and beware ye spoilers.)

I can't remember when exactly I decided one of the climaxes was going to be a three-way fight between fun-house mirror versions of the Devil of Tekkadan. Like much of WoSH, it fell out of the ever-expanding churn of ideas IBO left me with. But it's an obvious thing to do: take the legacy of the anime's protagonists and fracture it against itself for the sake of drama. Because whatever else, we are talking about a group of deeply traumatised child soldiers and there remains the potential for a lot of bad things to follow the hopeful ending of the show.

Embi is all the worst parts of Tekkadan. Violent, arrogant, selfish, reckless -- he's the vessel into whom I poured all that and more, to the point of having him actively reject the better parts. Heart-sickened by the death of his brother, the bonds of comradeship fray until he can't stand the sight of his former squad-mates, much less the miraculous returnee from the dead who catalyses the events of WoSH. At the same time, he can't stay at his worst. He struggles with new connections because they threaten to pull him from his grief. He doesn't want to move on. Embi roots himself in an old dream of being like Mikazuki, in the life of a mercenary soldier. Fighting is all he knows and beyond it lies the terrifying prospect of hope and trying. He'd have much preferred to burn up over Mars. At least that would have been a safely familiar ending.

Ordsley suffers the myth of Tekkadan, transformed by people who saw what a group of Martian children 'achieved' and wanted to surpass them. Yet the curse inflicted on him -- for he is of course a werewolf, turning with the influence of the crescent moon -- is to become unwilling legatee of Mikazuki's reality: the beast and the boy, the contradictory dreams of someone trapped by a system that sees people as raw material. For the smart young man at home on the proper side of history, it's a hell of a shock to reckon with the humanity of those condemned for their rebellion. Here, finally joining the survivors on the battlefield they once called home, the pieces click, for at least a moment. There are no easy answers in a world that offers children a choice between killing and starvation, but perhaps in the middle of the fray, it is easier to understand why they call each other friend.

Then there's Shino. The lovely, blood-thirsty himbo I thought it would be interesting to pluck from his canonical fate.

I know when I decided to shatter his prosthetic. The middle of last year, after reading writing by amputees, talking about how they are depicted, how that feeds and feeds off narratives fundamentally disconnected from their lived experiences. Still, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to speak to those experiences. The canon has sci-fi prosthetics. It's detached from the real world. It's just, the ways it also problematises them . . . the way, particularly with the addition of 598 and his cybernetic eye, that dovetails with the propaganda drive from militaries to gift high-tech limb replacements to those mangled in the course of fighting . . . I don't regret pushing myself to dip my toe in those waters.

You see, I wanted to tie together the strands of Shino's trauma. His instinctive reach for quid pro quo in his relationship with Yamagi, finally answered with the truth of everything positive he left behind on his first 'death'. His great bête noire, that failure of his last-ditch effort to save Tekkadan, coming full-circle as he's given another chance, another challenge, met this time with greater experience and maturity, and the knowledge of when not to fight. Third-best no longer, bolstered by all those who taught him what it takes to fly.

And as he gets to prove his mastery -- in ways beyond Embi's suicidal commitment and Ordsley's engineered supremacy -- he also reckons once more with that pernicious belief he is only fit to fight.

There isn't an answer, you know. Those doubts about ourselves, those demons, don't go away even when we let them go. We just learn to carry on regardless. To accept the possibility that we can live anyway, and to stop throwing the best parts of ourselves under the bus in our rush to distance ourselves from the worst.

So the arm is smashed to bits, the fate of the mobile suit pilot, the soldier, the body spent in violence. But Shino finally sees his younger self in a positive light and does what nobody else was able to for Embi: tell him it's OK to leave. Whatever it takes to be happy, even if that's a million miles away. He treats Ordsley as Ordsley, not Mika 2.0, reinforcing Ordsley's newfound balance. Above all, throughout everything, he is not alone. This final fight is spent with Eugene right at Shino's side, backing him up, trusting him. The Ryusei-Go is Tekkadan as a community, the part that truly never wilted. Because the reason Shino can have this moment of catharsis is that he is loved. So many people, building him up, giving him a future.

Everything he would do for them, unhesitatingly, and has, more times than he will ever realise.

I don't know if it's character development, exactly. Honestly, I don't know if the chapter actually encapsulates these things the way I wanted it to. I've read it too many times to see it straight any more and, even with a lovely band of readers I am privileged to have commenting, I'm doubting myself a lot these days. I don't sit well on my laurels, with the things I've completed, the word counts and the tick-marks. I worry it's still not enough. Put a fair of myself in Shino, there.

But I think it's good. I think it came out the way I wanted it to. I think it's the right thing for the story, to take a giant mecha battle, the tragic, inevitable conflict, and flip it around into an act of firefighting. I think I should be proud I got here, even if I never expected to when I first sat down at my keyboard to explain why the hot bisexual anime boy was still alive, actually.

So I'm make a note, to myself, that I did. That I should be proud. That I am, of me, for doing that.

And if you're reading this and you're going to be reading the rest of the story -- I'll just say, Shino himself is going to tell you why his vivid pink robot arm needed to be demolished by a giant sword. There'll be another, eventually (they do have a cyberneticist on speed-dial), but for now, well. You'll see.