#BATMAN WILL NEVER CATCH ME!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yaoibriar · 6 months

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HEAVEN EXISTS AND THERE LIES DAMIANYA

#im normal im normal im normal im normal im so so SO normal #BATMAN WILL NEVER CATCH ME!!!!!!!!#spy x family spoilers #sxfposting

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tiger-grace · 2 months

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In the Batfam the rule for speeding tickets is “it only counts if you get caught”

Somehow, going several hundred miles on twisting city streets in a Batmobile seems to make the cops give up after a while. They’re still trying to go after the motorcycle folks but they are absolutely losing the battle and the war

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qu0rky · 2 months

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will i ever watch/read that? no, probably not.

but do i still go on ao3 to search up its most popular homoerotic ship and get infodumped all the necessary lore in order to enjoy the fics? yes, give me 14 more of that.

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friendlynaborhooddisapointment · 2 months

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THEY DIDNT CANCEL MHA but i feel like thats the type of anime Jon would watch and i wanted him to be upset abt smth (so i picked mha) while Damian was like who cares???? yona of the dawn still doesn't have season two. also Damian gets to do gymnastics cuz Dick adopted Damian (wdym hes still living with Bruce??? not in this house)

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celaenaeiln · 1 year

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Bruce: *sees a motorcade come up on his right* *ignores*

Timmy in the back eying the group suspiciously: ….

*tapping on glass*

Dick: B, there’s someone tapping on my side.

Bruce: Don’t roll the window down they could be-

Dick: *already rolling the window down* *GASP* ROMMEY?! ROMMEY! ROMMEY!!

A 45 yr old grizzled man with a smoker’s voice, nicknamed Rommey by Dick: heya Dickie, how it’s going kiddo.

Dick: ROMMEY IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

Another motorbiker with a full claw scar down his face: what about the rest of us, kid? Forget about us?

Dick: MANES! DERRICKA! IZZY!!

Derrick-I take down mercenaries for fun but let a kid I like call me DERRICKA-Rolan: You little shit, why’d we not hear from you after you fucked off to neverland huh?!

Isabella-what? Someone went missing? I had nothing to do with it, it’s total coincidence that I hated him-Hodges: Maybe he doesn’t like us, Der. That right, Dickie?

Dick: *flabbergasted* No!! It’s a long story! After I left I ran out of gas and then some girl crashed into my bike and sent it flying off the cliff but I dove off it first and then I had to walk to the nearest motel on bare feet because I gave her my shoes and then I met this half bear half man and I’ll be pleased to tell you that it was a beary bearable encounter once he got his bearings hahahahaha- *progressively climbing out of the car as the story goes on*

Bruce: Dick! Get back in the car! *having one hand on the steering wheel and grabbing the back of his shirt with the other to keep his wayward son from falling out*

Dick: Wait- *accidently twisting too far and nearly braining himself on the speeding asphalt*

Rommey: DICK!

Bruce: DICK!

Rommey, Derricka, Izzy, and Manes: *grabbing the front half to prevent Dick from becoming like two-face*

Bruce: *letting go of the wheel to grab Dick’s bottom half for the same reason*

Tim: *high pitched screaming from the back* DICK! Tₕₑ Wₕₑₑₗ! ₜₕₑ Wₕₑₑₗ!!!

Bruce: *struggling to pull his son in while the motorcade struggles to pull him out to sit on a bike thus leading to Dick hanging in limbo out the window of a car going 80mph on a freeway* GRAB THE WHEEL TIM

Tim: *sacrificing a few ribs on the edge of the front car seat* IM TRYING! I CANT REACH THE CRUISE CONTROL AND DONT LEAN BACK AND OH MY GOD SIGN POST! SIGN POST! THE POST! THE POSSSTTTTT!!!

Dick, Bruce, Tim, and motorcade: *furious screaming and shouting and panicking*

*2 hours later*

*Arriving at the manor*

Jason: damn what happened to you lot, you look like you went through hell and back.

Bruce and Tim: *drained, pale-faced, messy, sweating, and heaving*

Dick: *a curl of hair falling elegantly into his shining eyes* I just had the time of my life, Jay!

Jason who is well acquainted with Dick’s “Time of the life”s: ah. My condolences.

Tim: Never again. *flopping on the ground and cater-pilling his way up the stairs*

Damian: Father, this is such disgraceful attire! Fix yourself at once, mother would be embarrassed by such a visage! What in holy reincarnation have you been doing?!

Bruce: Never again, Dick.

Dick: it’s nothing Dami, they were just helping me.

Damian: Father, I am ashamed of you. Why must you devolve to such a state when you assist Grayson, he is perfectly capable of extraordinary feats without your input. I suggest you refrain from interfering with his success again.

Bruce:

Bruce: Damian, you-

Dick: Bruce. *smiling pleasantly*

Jason: *immediately sneaking off*

Bruce’s life momentarily flashing before his eyes: …..nothing. Go finish your homework. *trudging off to whine to Alfred about how no one’s gonna believe him*

Dick: *sincerely* what a great day! 😊

#Alfred who has heard so many ‘no one is going to believe me about Dick’ conversations on a regular basis and is tired of listening to them:#well sir what did you think would happen when you threw an 8 yr into the Batmobile and gave him full freedom to drive #Bruce: *moment of clarity* wait am I the cause of this #Bruce whose clarity never stays: nah I can’t be the cause of this #Alfred who is used to this conversation too: *sarcastically* ofcourse not sir. not at all #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #batman #dicks secret wild adventures catching up to him because no one ever checks in on this loose canon #jason todd #red hood #damian wayne #robin #batfam incorrect quotes #Damian thinks dick can do no wrong ever #if dick ran someone through with a sword he’d merely take notes

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sciderman · 1 month

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Wait i just...injust realised something.

Peter and Logan are both self-proclaimed loners, they have both serious anger issues and are kinda assholes who tend to lash out at people, one of their coping mechanisms (if i noticed it right with Peter) is to just leave a situation in anger and self-isolate themselves, they both seem to fall in love with most people around them (poly kings), and alot of people (including multiple villians) have a "God you piss me off so much! I wanna fuck you so bad! I HATE how atractive you are to me!" thing going on. They both lost their fashion style for the most part during the early 200s (70s and 80s were a fashion peak for them), transmascs seem to see them as transition goals, they both had their original love interest they intended on marrying and when that didn't work out (Gwen and Mariko), they had a period of being with a wild thrill-seeking lady in black bodysuits (Black Cat and Yukio), and they're both more skilled, smart and powerful than alot of people seem to think, they're also kinda hypocrites in the sense that they preach what others should be while not exactly being that themselves. They also have a Samurai and Ninja dynamic going on a bit. Like...no wonder i love both and no wonder Logan did that whole native american "blood brother" ritual with Pete, they're so similar in alot of things.

this is called batman syndrome and it effects one in every 5 superheroes. there is currently no cure. one like one prayer

#sci speaks #batman might not be the best example of batman syndrome but he is the example.#for any lesser man this would be proof that they are soulmates.#but me? i find it funnier to think that spider-man thinks wolverine has cooties and does not want to catch them.#it's very funny. i think they would be a great pair and i love whenever they interact and probably want them to make out.#but also think spider-man Would never and that makes it funnier.#logan would though. obviously. anything goes.#spider-man would not hook up with logan for the same reason he wouldn't kill.#not because he doesn't Want to.#but because he's terrified of the Beast it would Unleash #thank yo for comigng to my ted talk #i keep all of these thoughts in the tags because im afraid of saying them in my outdoor voice. i don't think the world is ready.

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oifaaa · 2 years

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Duke stole and uploaded Riddler's riddles on twitter. Oracle shed a single tear of proudness.

Duke is no longer allowed to fight riddler after accusations of "online bullying" and "harassment"

#ask #anon #It got so bad #Ed had to call batman to please get Duke to stop #But there's not much Bruce can do apart from tell riddler to not go out during the day #That's signals time #Also side note but I'm finally catching up on spiderman after not reading it for a month or 2 #And ngl I'm kinda digging the black cat spidy thing that's currently going on #Idk maybe it's just bc I'm really fed up with the constant reset of mj and Peters relationship #I know it probably won't happen #But I kinda wish mj and Peter never get back together #They frustrate me too much at this point

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notnotnightwing · 1 month

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Actually going to therapy or at least tell people what's wrong when they genuinely ask what's wrong<<<<<<<lying my ass off so good people think I've never had a bad day in 10 years

#you will never catch me willingly venting to somebody #not fully at least #this shit goes to the GRAVE.#I DONT GIVE A DAMN #batman #dick grayson #batman rp #dink grayson #nightwing

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fabdante · 8 months

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It's mating season in my hermit crab tank, and batman fertilized gans eggs again. and he will not stop guarding her.

which is really funny because i opened the tank to do something, and he practically threw her at me because he thought i was a threat.

so like hes doing an awful job i love both of them.

#congrats to gan for clutch number 3 since ive had her #i only took her in like....5 or 6 years ago so it took her a bit to adapt to my tank then i updated the set up so she hasnt like #had eggs the entire time ive had her just the past few years #shes definitely going to do it wrong again and just eat all the eggs like she did last year #and honestly good for her mother of the year eat your young #batman luckily isnt being aggressive towards leviathan who is just chilling #unbothered by the sitcuation dkdkfldjf #fabtalks #fab talks #ignore me i never catch when gan has eggs this early so im very focused on this fkflskflsjd #tbh i might have gotten gan 7 years ago but most of if not the whole first year she was in a different tank so

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kylesgarrick · 8 months

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ive face revealed sm times on here and ive js kept it up for like a minute when all my moots are offline LMAOO yall will never catch me

#face reveal #im so secretive #meow #:3 #so silly #yalkvwill never catch me im batman

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amaraudermind · 2 years

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My thoughts on Robins are very simple, actually: I want them all to have a fair chance to shine and prove how amazing they are, but I draw the line at Dick Grayson Erasure

#dick grayson #that's really what most of my most hated things come down to so it's a fine generalization #'tim's been robin the longest' wrong this is Dick Erasure #'jason was tim's favorite robin🥺' wrong this is Dick Erasure #'robin and batman is the perfect title for a dick and bruce dynamic duo book' wrong...okay actually that's more damian erasure than dick #BUT to be fair it IS still erasure of him because of the fact that he's the batman in question when talking about robin and batman #yes i AM still annoyed by that book stealing damian's idea for their name why do you ask #listen...i am still hoping for just ONE acknowledgement of that line...dick having to briefly take on the cowl..#he and damian showing up among a crowd of people...someone shouting 'look! it's robin! and batman!'...#damian muttering under his breath that it DID catch on..#or otherwise it's bruce and damian showing up when someone says it...damian turning smugly and mentioning that it caught on...#bruce being confused...damian having to sit there..thinking about the fact that it was another batman and practically another life..#thinking about how they were the greatest...#bruce wondering if with all the time screw-ups he'd forgotten something that damian remembered...but he hadn't been there at all...#maybe later on damian visiting dick... bringing up the incident..passing it for a hilarious anecdote...but dick DOES remember that..#him smiling and saying to damian 'what did i say. it did catch on'...damian freezing for a minute...#then jumping into indignation because 'you did NOT call it you were being SARCASTIC i TOKD YOU we should have been robin and batman but #NOO thAt'Ll neVer cAtch oN damIAn'#wow i am rambling about NOTHING related now. go me.#anyway #void posts

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toytle · 2 years

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debating between drawing superbat or clois for valentine’s day (would not generally be an either/or situation for me but it’s a specific prompt) and the deciding factor is literally that i am too scared to draw batman 🤕

#danbles #my ideal situation is starting off their relationship with establishing superbat #mostly as a casual thing with very real feelings #but was ultimately broken off due to relationship differences #they’re like exes that are best friends that still kiss sometimes #and then clark got with lois and started a family and clark’s like. oh THIS is what i want in a relationship #and batman’s got his own family so no hard feelings #and here’s where we get rly indulgent:#clark and lois decide to have an open marriage situation so clark and bruce will hook-up on occasion #but it’s like. hm. catching up i wanna say #meaningful fling maybe?#like reconnecting rather than rekindling anything #their friendship never faded away so there are still loving feelings in whatever ways that may be #just nothing they care to explore #they got a good thing going it’s nostalgic if anything #and if we rly wanna push it (which i do) then there would be a swinging situation crossing over between clois and batcat #don’t mind me my solution to everything is gay sex #dc #superbat #clois #i am so sorry if this is dumb idk anything abt this side of shipping at all 😭#i’m just in a rly lovey dovey mood and dc is my first victim (it’s the february effect)

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neptunesenceladus · 1 year

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Another thought on Gotham War.

especially in the first issue (battle lines), it really feels like they’re preparing to retire Bruce and either Batman completely retire or have someone else pick up the mantle (#Cass for Batman 2024)

#at the start of battle lines bruce talked about the years catching up to him #and how the world is going to find out he’s human #these sound like the words of someone on a time limit #who do you think they would have pick up the batman mantle?#I want cass but there is too much subconscious misogyny in dc for that to be likely #and idk if her charachter is even still the same in rebirth (waiting for the library to get Batgirls for me)#Damien is the most likely choice #but I feel like I would want at least one run of him unlearning the heir bs and earning the mantle #would punch someone if they put dick as bman again #same with tim; cause he’s said so often pre rebirth that he never wants to be batman #would love if they introduced someone completely new for it #bring a fresh perspective to The Mission #dc #batman #cass for batman 2k24 #gotham war #oh also i feel like bruce is gonna have to get super injured or dead to give up batman/retire #so there is that

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pintobordeaux · 2 years

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I periodically remember I made this ~ 5-6 years ago and keep forgetting to share it. Here ya go tumblr - have my vector recreation of this Detective Comics #225 (April 1992) cover!

Original on the left, recreation on the right

#pintosart #Detective comics #silver age dc #comic covers #I love secret identity shenanigans #The idea that Brucie would join a lookalike contest all Brucie-like but still catch the villain is peak Batman #Keep playing it up for the cameras boo. you’re doing great #oh hahaha i see a line missing - oh well that’s never gonna get fixed 😂#also I couldn’t figure out how to add vector screentone soooooo ignore that being missing #If anyone wants to learn how to use a vector art program I highly recommend this exercise #It taught me SO much about the tools and program while also being more fun than simple shapes or follow alongs #that being said I will NEVER do this again. SO time consuming and ridiculous to recreate something like this in vector vs raster

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misanthropiczombie · 2 years

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I’m funny actually

#God it's me No #we don't believe in crossplatform names in this house #thus the censoring #you'll never catch me alive batman #i laughed loud enough at my own joke my husband heard me from the bathroom lol #gravitywins

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aviolettrose · 6 months

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A fanfic idea:

Bruce was able to rescue Jason before he died, and after this experience, Jason stopped being Robin.

He became afterwards the golden child, he goes to college (with a scholarship), helps out in the city library, teaches children (helps with their homeworks and helps them to study), works part time in a car garage in crime alley, and is a supportive brother.

And it pisses his siblings off.

Because there has to be something fishy because no one, really no one, is that perfect.

And there is something fishy.

He is also Red Hood.

No one knows, and the vigilantes never talk to Jason about "the family business" because he needs to concentrate on his studies and other stuff.

So imagine, Batmans suprise when the JL was able to catch Red Hood.

Someone takes Jasons helmet off in front of Batman, Nightwing, and other members

And Jason, who wears also a domino mask, doesn't look Batman in the face even as he says :

"Hey Dad. I can explain."

And Dick loses his shit, he laughs so hard because, Jason, The golden child, the one who gave up on being a vigilante, who reads to children in the library, is a goddamn crimelord.

Bruce just stands there frozen because wtf Jason?!

And Dick takes selfies with Jason being tied up and calles the other Batkids in because they should definitely not be left out of it.

(Edit: As someone who doesn't really write (or can write good stories), I want to say, feel free to use this prompt for a fanfiction. Just please give credits to me (because I don't know if someone else had also this idea and posted it) and please inform me if you publish something (because I want to read a fanfiction like this too))

(Edit: people we got a link, pls leave some love there for @radioactivepigeons, https://archiveofourown.org/works/55499164

And for those who have struggles with the link, the fanfiction is called Prodigal by Carbon65, and you only have access to it with an ao3 account, BUT I pinned the tumblr version)

#jason todd #batfam #comic #dc universe #dick grayson #bruce wayne #justice league #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #duke thomas #dc #dcu #dc comics #fanfiction idea #ao3 being down is fr an apocalypse #hope yall are safe

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