#Chapter 1—Working With Child Abuse and Neglect Issues part 1

[yukiwhitetm]

5 Bat Family Must Reads: Former Robins And Their Kids +1 Undercover Dick Grayson

Find all my Batman – All Media Types fic recs here.

Find post 5 Tim Drake-centric Must Reads here.

Find post 5 Tim Drake-centric Must Reads: Animals/Non-humans here.

I know! A fic rec post from me that’s not fully Tim Drake-centric, who’da thunk it? Well, here it is in all its varied glory! Some of these are still Tim Drake-centric or have him as a main character, of course, but not all. Recs 2 and 4 focus on Jason and Lian (Roy’s daughter)! And the +1 story is all about our favourite Golden Boy Dick Grayson (with no child to be seen outside of cases). More than half of these are crossovers with TV series White Collar or Criminal Minds but I have never watched any of these so you don’t need to have to follow these stories either. But make sure to log in to read recs 4 and 5 because they are locked to Ao3 members only. Enjoy!

1.

Under A Parent's Wing by IzzyMRDB

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)  

Teen And Up Audiences, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gen, Complete Work

31 Aug 2022

Tags:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Teen Titans

Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Original Female Character(s), Teen Titans (DCU), Bruce Wayne

Dick Grayson is Tim Drake's Parent, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake-centric, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Autistic Tim Drake, Protective Dick Grayson, Romani Dick Grayson, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Adoption, Child Protective Services, Family Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Dick Grayson-centric, This is a slight vent fic because im a mandated reporter and childcare worker, and i want to show you that you can trust us, however i am still acab, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Adoptive Parent Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, GNC Tim Drake, Therapy, Unreliable Narrator, Somersaults as a metaphor for love, Also me putting my psych major to good use, Dick Grayson may appear happy always but he has anger issues, Kid Tim Drake

Summary:

When Tim found out that Dick Grayson was a gymnastics instructor in Bludhaven, he quickly signed up. After all, learning gymnastics from The Nightwing himself is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Dick Grayson is more concerned at the obvious signs of child abuse he sees in one of his students.

AKA

Dick Grayson, as a childcare worker, is a mandated reporter who knows how to recognize child abuse in his students. Tim Drake, after a lifetime of fear and confusion, learns to trust adults.

Series

Part 1 of Wings are for Flying

Language: English Words: 39,209 Chapters: 22/22

Yuki Note:

(Edit: In the original version of this post, I accidentally put "The Power of Family and This Stalker I Found" as rec 1 believing it to be "Under a Parent's Wing". "Under a Parent's Wing" is the story I was talking about and recommended so highly in this Yuki Note! "The Power of Family and This Stalker I Found" has been edited to be an Honourable Mention since I'm sure some of you have read it now! Sorry about the confusion.)

I adore this story so much! I have often thought Dick would’ve been a better parent to Tim than (canon) Bruce so I love seeing that play out this fic (and in rec 3 too). And Dick working a job that fills him with so much joy as a gymnastics instructor is just mwah! This fic is set a little more in the real world than some others because it’s about Tim joining Dick’s gymnastics class and so Dick slowly noticing everything off about Tim whilst emotionally adopting him. Does that emotional adoption become real adoption by the end? Well, you’ll have to read it and see! I cannot recommend this one highly enough.

Honourable Mention.

The Power of Family and This Stalker I Found by JackHawksmoor

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), DCU  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Work in Progress

18 May 2023

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne

Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Stephanie Brown

Tim Drake joins the batfamily, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne Mostly Succeeds, Janet and Jack Drake do not try to be good parents, They also mostly succeed, Angst and Humor, Fluff and Humor, Batfam Big Bang, Batfamily (DCU), Jewish Bruce Wayne, mentions of drug use by a side character

Summary:

'If Bruce had found Jason immediately after he was resurrected, how would Tim Drake have joined the batfamily?' AU. This involves Jason being a little more observant while running around rooftops, Tim unable to resist getting gymnastics training from the original Robin, macaroons, a minor kidnapping, and some light attempted murder.

Yuki Note:

I honestly don’t remember what this one is about. I accidentally included this in this list in the original post because I mistook it for the story I intended for rec 1 (now edited in!), as I didn’t realise I hadn’t bookmarked "Under a Parent’s Wing" and this was the story that came up when I searched my Recommended Bookmarks for the word ‘gym’. Whilst I can’t recall this story, it is still one of my Recommended Bookmarks so I’m sure it’s still a good one! I hope that any of you who read this before I edited this post to be correct enjoyed it and that any of you who read it now enjoy it too.

2.

While You Were Missing by caffeinatedbasil

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar (TV 2009)  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, M/M, Complete Work

03 Aug 2024

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Neal Caffrey/Roy Harper, Past Roy Harper/Jade Nguyen – Relationship, Lian Harper & Jason Todd

Jason Todd, Lian Harper, Peter Burke, Diana Berrigan, Clinton Jones, Elizabeth Burke (White Collar), June Ellington, Batfamily Members, Neal Caffrey, Jade Nguyen, Roy Harper, Mozzie (White Collar)

Neal Caffrey and Jason Todd are the Same Person, Accidental Baby Acquisition

but she's not actually a baby she's like nine, Protective Batfamily (DCU), Domestic Batfamily (DCU), Caring Batfamily (DCU), Neal Caffrey is a Batfamily Member, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Roy Harper is Red Arrow, Protective Jason Todd, Aftermath of Human Trafficking, Canon-Typical Violence, the reality of being a child of superheroes/villains, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Presumed Dead, fellas is it gay to fall in love with your best friend while he's missing in action, and you're raising his kid for him, that you may or may not have stolen

Summary:

A familiar redheaded child darts across the bullpen with a shout of “PAPA!” and barrels into Jason’s arms.

“Lian–” He breathes.

Jason's undercover work as Neal Caffrey is difficult for several reasons. He didn't anticipate that single parenting would be one of them, though.

Series

Part 1 of Triple Red

Language: English Words: 85,629 Chapters: 12/12

Yuki Note:

Oh My Gosh! Oh My Gosh! Oh My Gosh! This is such an amazing story! I love it so much! Please, give this read. Unless you dislike Roy/Jason, you are going to love this fic! I promise, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched White Collar, you really don’t have to have watched it. as I haven’t either. This story just tells itself. I love Jason and Lian’s daddy-daughter relationship, I love how the White Stuff team and the Batfam pull together to support Jason looking after his new daughter, I love Jason pining after Roy (they’re not together in the beginning) and his and Lian’s quiet grief about Roy’s possible death. Just, this story is so perfect. Highly recommend!

3.

how to feed your local demon by InkpotSprite

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Complete Work

02 Jan 2024

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne

Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Sebastian Ives, Bernard Dowd, Darla Aquista

Fluff, Angst, Family Feels, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Good Sibling Tim Drake, Tim Drake is a Menace, Dick Grayson is a Gift, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Protective Tim Drake, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Protective Dick Grayson, Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi, Incubus Dick Grayson, Supportive Tim Drake, Brotherly Affection, Sweet Tim Drake, Soft Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Dick Grayson Loves Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson Bonding, Tim Drake Loves Dick Grayson, Feral Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Family Bonding

Summary:

“Oh, don’t forget your–” A few papers fell out as Dick lifted it up, revealing pictures of Nightwing, Robin and Batman in the middle of a fight with Poison Ivy. “Files.”

“Ah. Those.” Tim laughed nervously, the sharp, citrus-like taste filling the air.

-

Dick is an incubus, starved for affection after the loss of Jason.

Tim isn't affectionate by nature but wants to help anyway.

Series

Part 1 of Batfamily Feels

Language: English Words: 14,572 Chapters: 2/2

Yuki Note:

Super cute! Fluffy! Family feels! A touch of fantasy with (non-sexual) incubus Dick! What more could you ask for in a relaxing two-shot read?

4.

Lian and the Amazing Guard Dog: A Story of Magic and Mayhem by Honyasbookshelf

Fandoms: White Collar (TV 2009), Batman - All Media Types  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, M/M, Complete Work

30 Aug 2024

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Lian Harper & Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Lian Harper & Everyone. Diana Berrigan & Clinton Jones, Damian Wayne & Everyone

Diana Berrigan, Clinton Jones, Lian Harper, Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Reese Hughes, Damian Wayne

Neal Caffrey and Roy Harper Are the Same Person, Cute Lian Harper, Jason Todd is Lian Harper's Parent, Animal Transformation, Fluff and Humor, The Harpers: Baffling FBI Agents for Two Generations, Protective Jason Todd, POV Multiple, Jason Todd Being a Little Shit, Identity Reveal, POV Outsider, I didn't set out to write a comedy but here we are, Comedy, SO MUCH FLUFF, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Roy Harper is Red Arrow, Clinton Jones is so done, Tsundere Damian Wayne, Damian Wayne is Robin, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, But also, Secretly Soft Damian Wayne

Summary:

"'Don't you 'hey' me,' Diana hissed, hand on her hip and eyes darting from Jones to the little girl on his hip to the fierce-looking German Shepherd standing at his side. 'What the h—eck is going on? I thought you went out for a smoke.'

'I did!' Jones said defensively. 'I was standing in the designated smoking area, minding my own business, when this kid and her demon dog pop up out of nowhere. Thought the dog was gonna take my head off.'

The girl giggled, the first noise Diana had heard her make, and the dog woofed once, almost sounding as though it were laughing itself."

The White Collar office is thrown into turmoil when a little girl shows up, guard dog at her side, demanding to see Neal Caffrey.

Language: English Words: 10,133 Chapters: 13/13

Yuki Note:

This time it’s Roy undercover as Neal from White Collar (also don’t have to have watched it to follow the story) and Jason being unable to care for their daughter Lian... because he’s been magicked into a dog! Jason and Roy are in an already established relationship (I think they are married!). This one is more of a bit of a fun, rather than rec 2’s more serious take. So, if you want a comforting read, then this is for you. Recommend!

5.

got my band and a light that won't go out by destiny919

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)  

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Gen, Complete Work

19 Dec 2021

Tags:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon

Canon-Typical Violence, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Injury, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Kid Tim Drake, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Yes you read that right, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Protective Jason Todd, Jason Todd is Tim Drake's Parent, unofficially, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, BETCHA DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING FROM ME, I contain multitudes, Slice of Life, but like. in a bat way., yes beta we are resurrected like jason

Summary:

"Nightwing has been shot."

Tim's eyes go wide and he stares at Jason, who's frozen in place. "And why would I care about that?" Jason says finally.

---

Dick finally meets Jason's Robin.

Series

Part 1 of Little Red

Language: English Words: 2,666 Chapters: 1/1

Yuki Note:

I actually want to recommend the entire Little Red series (but the series has so many tags on it that the first fic was easier to include in this post). It’s so good! It’s written non-chronologically but it’s good. The series is about Jason Todd as Red Hood adopting little kid Tim Drake as his kid. To clarify, Tim is a lot younger than in canon in this fic and he’s never been Robin but instead he had been following Batman around with a med kit to fix as much as his little hands can. This is such a sweet, fluffy with just a touch of angst read. The series is 18 fics long but, Goodness, is it worth a read! Recommended!

+1.

Dick Grayson: A Case Study by writersagainstwritersblock

Fandoms: Criminal Minds (US TV), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)  

Teen And Up Audiences, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gen, M/M, Complete Work

25 Oct 2024

Tags:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

The BAU Team (Criminal Minds) & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Wally West, Batfamily Members & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Clark Kent

Dick Grayson, Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds), Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia, Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake (DCU), Batfamily Members (DCU), Wally West, Clark Kent

Dick Grayson-centric, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Romani Dick Grayson, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson Has PTSD, Dick Grayson Has Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Dick Grayson Has ADHD, Dick Grayson Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dick Grayson Has Daddy Issues, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Batfamily (DCU), POV Outsider, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), The BAU Team as Family (Criminal Minds), Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid Friendship, Good Friend Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds), Autistic Spencer Reid, Good Friend Penelope Garcia, Good Friend Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner is the BAU Team's Parent, BAMF Dick Grayson, Short Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson Has Secrets, Case Fic, Minor Dick Grayson/Wally West, Dick Grayson & Wally West Friendship, Nightwing Volume 2 Issue 093, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Slade Wilson Being an Asshole, Creepy Slade Wilson, Non-Consensual Drug Use

Summary:

Dick rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m mostly used to sparring with my little brothers, it’s kind of just habit, and I was having fun. I didn’t want the match to be over too quick.”

“Too quick?” Derek asked, eyebrows raised. “I’m twice your size, kid.”

Dick shrugged. “So’s Bruce and we’re pretty much tied at this point, or at least according to the score board the kids started to keep for Saturday spars.”

“Saturday spars?” Derek repeated, following him towards the locker room.

Dick flashed him a smile. “What? Don’t have any weird family traditions?”

“Not ones that include hitting each other,” Derek said

OR The BAU gets a probationary profiler who is a little more than he appears at first glance. Or second. Or third. Just how many secrets can Dick Grayson be hiding from a team full of profilers?

Language: English Words: 64,098 Chapters: 8/8

Yuki Note:

A riveting story of mystery and intrigue, as both the characters and us readers try to find the truth beneath in this fic. Whilst this isn’t a parental former Robin fic like the other recs on this list, it is a crossover like recs 2 and 4 so it felt like a good time to include it in a rec list. Although, the crossover is with Criminal Minds – a series I also have not watched so you don’t need to have either! Honestly, I don’t want to say too much in case I spoil this thriller of a fic. Dick Grayson: A Case Study will keep you on the edge of your seat to the very end. It is really worth a read. If you are considering it, then go for it! Highly recommend!

Enjoy! And feel free to explore my full AO3 rec list here.

[sweetcheeksschemmenti]

Beyond The Classroom

Pt. 1

I don’t expect this one to be very popular, this is a self indulgent piece 🫡

Summary: Once a Little Eagle, always a Little Eagle. Melissa keeps that promise to you year after year as she shows up for you in every possible way.

Warnings: Child abuse, neglect, abandonment, over all sad stuff (Mel makes it better!)

WC: 3.9k

Notes: Wrote this because it’s the week before Mother’s Day and I just want my mama (she’s an awful human being and will never be a part of my life again, 6 years no contact). Melissa is a comfort character for me, so I’m using this as a hug from her. I know there are plenty of other people with bad relationships with their moms (gotta love mommy issues), so I thought I’d share in case someone else would also like this hug.

I see you, I love you.

P.s. This story is about 85% based on events I experienced as a child/young adult. I’m thankful every day for the teachers who stepped in to be the parents I didn’t have.

You grew up in a not-so-wonderful household with abusive parents and older siblings who wouldn’t have noticed if you had decided to run away one day. Melissa Schemmenti knew. She was the one person you felt you could confide in as a child. She called CPS on your parents a handful of times during the year she taught you, in hopes of keeping you safe. Unfortunately, with a broken system and a mother who could sweet talk The Devil himself, your parents got off scot-free, leaving you to deal with the aftermath each time.

You would go into school the next day with a new bruise and tears in your eyes. Melissa would hold you close and let you cry all you could before pulling a chair up next to her own so you could be near your safe person all day. When it came time for dismissal, she would hug you extra tight and send a silent prayer to God that you’d walk through the doors again in the morning. On Fridays, she would sneak a Tupperware container of homemade food and a handful of snacks into your bag with a note that said ‘love you, kid’, knowing that your parents restricted your access to food and that she was probably the only person you heard those words from most days. The world sat heavy on your second grader shoulders and Melissa did everything she knew how to make it a little lighter.

Even as you moved on past second grade, Ms. Schemmenti was there. She would check in with each of your teachers at the beginning on the school year and pop in to say hello at lunch from time to time. If you had a particularly rough night at home you would stop by her room and ask her to hold you for a minute before other students arrived. She always obliged.

The day you moved on to middle school, Melissa cried right along with you. Both of you knew she wouldn’t be able to hug the hurt away or keep tabs on you as often. Of course, she made sure you knew how much she loved you, she gave you her personal phone number and said, “No matter how old you get or how far you go, you’ll always be my favorite little eagle. I’ll always be here for you if you need me and I mean it. If things go south at home, you call me and I’ll be there in a heartbeat. You’re gonna be okay.”

As the years passed, Melissa made sure she remained a constant- the only constant, really- in your life. Through your middle school years she became your tutor, meeting you at your school’s library every Thursday after dismissal to help you with your homework. Of course, those sessions were always a little more than just help with homework; she would bring you food and make sure you had clean clothes and basic necessities. One time you let it slip that your mother had ‘forgotten’ to buy you toothpaste and she dropped off a small bag of Colgate tubes on your front porch that night.

When you entered high school, Melissa made an effort to show up for every one of your art shows and track meets. Your parents never even made it to one, but Schemmenti was there. She always was. Your high school teachers even began to think Melissa was your mother; you never corrected them. And when you started working at the hoagie stand your sophomore year, Ms. Schemmenti would stop by once a week to have dinner with you.

The physical abuse dwindled a little as you got older and were able to fight back, but the verbal abuse got worse as a result. At one point during you senior year, your mother kicked you out after throwing a fit about you not inviting her to see you try on prom dresses. You called Melissa and she drove forty-five minutes at three in the morning to get you. Your mother knocked you to the ground and pulled fistfuls of hair, creating a tangled mess. When you were finally able to get her off of you, she screamed at you the entire time you packed your bag.

“FUCK YOU Y/N, YOU SELFISH BITCH! Couldn’t even include YOUR OWN MOTHER! It hurts, it’s almost like not getting invited to your WEDDING!” You dodged books and trinkets she threw at you as you tossed whatever sentimental things you could think of into trash bags to take with you. Photos of your grandparents, your favorite stuffed animal, and some of your artworks made it in before you heard Melissa honking in the driveway.

“You’ve never been my mom,” you seethed with tears streaming down your face as you dragged your bags down the stairs.

She blocked you from leaving at the bottom of the stairs and backhanded you, her ring catching the tender skin beneath your eye. You yelped in pain and stumbled forward, she grabbed you by the throat and squeezed. “You walk out that door and NEVER come back, you hear me? You are worthless, a waste of space and air.” She dug her nails into your skin before she released you and practically pushed you through the front door.

“You’ll never have to deal with me again. You want me out? I’m out.”

Your father followed behind with his fists balled up, “If you ever come back, it’ll be the last time you see daylight!”

Melissa waited for you by the car with her baseball bat, ready to swing if need be. Once your bags were in the backseat, Melissa tossed her baseball bat into the trunk and drove off. Your mother chased the car all the way down the driveway calling you every derogatory thing she could come up with.

The drive to Melissa’s house was silent save for the occasional quiet aob from both parties. Once you arrived, Melissa took your bags inside and walked you up the stairs to her bathroom to nurse your wounds. You winced as she swabbed your cheek with isopropyl alcohol and she frowned. “I’m so sorry, hon. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner to stop her.”

“Don’t be, you still showed up when I needed you. It coulda been a lot worse. Thank you,” you cried as you leaned your head against her stomach just like when you were a second grader.

She held you until your tears dried then left the room to grab a change of clothes for you. Moments later, she handed you a pair of her sweatpants and an oversized Eagles t-shirt. “You can take the bed tonight, I’ll sleep on the couch. My spare room doesn’t have a bed right now, but we can fix that tomorrow after I call out of work. You need anything before I head down, kid?”

You looked at the ground, embarrassed to even ask, “Would you maybe… would it be okay if…. never mind, it’s stupid.” You shook your head and climbed under the comforter, it smelled like Melissa.

She somehow knew exactly what you were asking without hearing the words. She climbed into the bed and lifted an arm for you to scoot in. “Of course, sweet girl, it’s not stupid at all. I’ll keep you safe, promise. Try to get some sleep, I’ll be right here.” You settled into her embrace and took a deep breath.

You whispered, “I love you, thank you.”

“I love you too, baby girl. Sleep tight,” she whispered back before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Sleep was the last thing on her mind as she held you, watching as the rise of your chest slowed. She stayed awake the whole night, guarding your peace.

Late the following morning, you woke up to an empty bed and the sound of people in the house. You popped your head out into the hallway to see Melissa directing three men where to go with the new bed set. She heard the door creak and looked over at you with an apologetic smile, “Hey, hon, sorry to wake you! They’ll be outta here shortly. I called your school and work to let them know you wouldn’t be in for a few days so you don’t have to worry about it. I washed the clothes that were in your backpack, they’re sitting by my bathroom. There’s also a clean towel for you and a new toothbrush on the counter. You’re welcome to use my hairbrush and whatever else you need.” You smiled back at her and closed the door.

You picked an outfit from the pile of folded clothes and shut the bathroom door to shower. Your body was sore from the adrenaline and you groaned in pain as you shed your pajamas. Standing naked in the mirror, you looked over the marks your mother left on you. The nail marks on your neck were already scabbed over, but the gash under your eye was bruised and definitely going to leave a scar. You traced your fingers along each mark, tears forming in your eyes. The shower was hot enough to leave your skin red, you wanted to burn away any remnants of what happened to you. You sobbed loudly as you tried to detangle the mess of hair your mother created, it hurt and you were so worried that you’s just have to cut it all off.

There was a soft knock at the door. “Ya decent?” You opened the door for her and she gently took the brush from your hands. She directed you to sit backwards on the toilet while she worked at the knots on your head. You nearly fell asleep sitting there as she hummed and massaged conditioner into your hair, working diligently to make sure you kept your beautiful hair.

“You sleep okay,” She asked as she rinsed your hair in the sink.

“That was the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time. I haven’t slept in a bed in months, it was so soft.” You said it like it was nothing.

She paused. “Whatduya mean you haven’t slept in a bed in months?”

You sighed deeply. “They took my bed away because they said I was a whore and didn’t deserve one. I told them that I’m a virgin and they took the door off of my room, callin’ me a liar.” You hadn’t told her that detail when you saw her at one of your track meets a few months before. You figured you’d shared enough heartbreaking details with the woman, she didn’t need to be even more worried about you.

Hot tears silently flowed down her cheeks. She was angry. Not at you for not telling her, but at the low-lifes you called parents. “You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” she spat. She was ready to call in one of her favors from The Tire Iron. “Well I’ll tell ya one thing, kiddo, you ain’t goin’ back there ever again. You’ll never be without ‘long as I’m around, ya got it? And you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want, no strings attached.”

You choked back your own tears. “Thanks, Ms. Schemmenti. I truly appreciate you.” She wrapped your hair in a towel and you turned to hug her. “What would I do without you?”

“Starve, apparently,” she teased when your stomach growled loudly. She grabbed your chin to look at you, “And no more ‘Ms. Schemmenti’. You can call me Melissa, Mel, Aunt Mel, whatever you want, just not that. You’re family, kid. Now c’mon, I’ll make you something to eat before we head out for a shopping trip.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Her brow furrowed, “You tryin’ to make me feel old? None of that ma’am stuff either.” You giggled and followed her down to the kitchen.

She made French toast and sausage and you devoured the meal in just a few bites. Satisfied with you having eaten, she grabbed her purse, dragged you to the car and pulled out of the driveway. Along the way, she asked you to make a list of anything you might need or want. You took your phone out and looked at it for the first time that day. The screen was full of awful messages from both of your parents and extended family members. You chose to clear the screen and turn off notifications without reading them all and opened your notes app to jot down a few things you knew you missed when packing bags.

Melissa pulled into the mall parking lot and looked over at you, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, what happened?”

You rubbed your eyes and tried to fake a smile, “Nothin’, I’m just tired.” She knew you well enough to know when you were lying, but she wasn’t going to push you on the subject.

“Mkay, kid. If you decide you wanna talk about it, you know I’ll always listen. And you know I’d kill for ya.” She gently nudged you with her elbow and the two of you made your way into the mall. You showed her your list and she took charge, guiding you around to every clearance rack and bargain bin in the vicinity. You paid for the majority of your new finds, but she insisted on helping with funds here and there. Many stores later Melissa stopped for a bathroom break and you found yourself in front of Auntie Anne’s. Remembering how much she loved soft pretzels- she’d get one every field trip- you decided to buy two, one for each of you. It was a very small token of gratitude, but you knew she’d be excited.

When she exited the bathroom, she scanned the food court for you and found you sitting at a table with all the bags. She sat down across from you and you pushed the soft pretzel her way with a little cup of honey mustard, “Thank you for today. Normally I hate shopping, but you made it fun.”

She gave you an upside down smile and took a bite. “I’m glad I could be a good distraction for ya, hon. And thank you for this!” She clinked her pretzel with yours to ‘cheers’ the day. As you finished your pretzels in silence while people watching, a dress shop on the upper level caught your eye. Despite trying on prom dresses, you never actually bought one.

Melissa‘s eyes followed your gaze and when she spotted the shop she knew what she was going to do. “Hey, I know you said you normally hate shopping, but since we’ve been having so much fun today… why don’t we keep the fun going and go pick out your prom dress? It’s what, two weeks out?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I can’t afford it now that I’ve spent half my savings on shit I needed today. Besides, I got to do prom last year, I’m alright missing out on this one.” You played with the straw in your drink absentmindedly and took the last bite of your pretzel.

Melissa thought back to the conversations she had with you about how excited you were for your senior prom. You buzzed about it every time the two of you spoke for months, it broke her heart to see you resign to not going. “My treat, hon. And I ain’t takin’ no for an answer, I know how bad you wanna go. C’mon,” she said as she prodded you up and dragged you to the dress shop.

You spent about an hour browsing and trying on different dresses, even somehow convinced Melissa to try one on with you for shits and giggles. You pretended not to see her sneak a picture in the mirror of the two of you in the matching dresses, a sweet moment she wanted to remember forever. Finally, you found the right one. The a-line strapless dress stopped mid calf, it was wine red and fit like a dream. When you emerged from the dressing room to show her, she gasped.

“Oh, beautiful girl! My favorite little eagle isn’t so little anymore.” She stuck her bottom lip out in an upside down smile as she reached to tuck your hair away from your eyes. She took a small step back and asked you to spin so she could see it all. The smile on your face told her you made your choice. With misty eyes she pulled you into a tight hug, limiting your ability to breathe.

“I can’t… breathe… help,” you choked out. The redhead lessened her squeeze and apologized but didn’t let go, she needed that moment to collect herself. You stood there embracing each other for a couple of minutes before Melissa finally released you. Once you changed back into your clothes, she took the dress to the register and paid.

You walked out together and stuffed all the bags in the trunk, laying the dress flat in the backseat. “Thank you. For everything, Aunt Mel. For a few hours, it didn’t feel like my world was crashing down around me. I’m lucky to have you.”

She kissed her fingers and then pressed them to your cheek before she started driving. “I’m pretty lucky to have you too, kid. And I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces when you need me.”

The drive back to Melissa’s house was quiet, aside from the classic rock station playing the weekly hits countdown. You checked your silenced notifications to see even more messages and missed calls from your family, Melissa glanced over and saw them too. “If you want, we can change your number this week, that way they can’t bother you anymore,” Melissa offered.

“They still pay for my phone, I can’t. They’d cancel my service the moment they found out.” You shoved your phone back into your pocket.

“Then I’ll just move you over to my cell plan. They don’t deserve the power they have over you, hon.” You opened your mouth to protest but stopped when she pointed at you. “Let me help, please. Because I can and I want to.”

“Thanks, Aunt Mel.”

A few minutes later you arrived back at the townhouse and dragged all of your new belongings up to your new room, hanging up the dress immediately. Melissa said she’d help you make the bed and get settled once she got dinner in the oven. While she was working in the kitchen, you curled up on the couch and flipped the TV on, settling on ‘Rick Steves’ Europe’ reruns. Rick’s comforting voice began to lull you to sleeping and you didn’t have the energy to fight it.

Melissa walked in to tell you she was ready and found you fast asleep. Her heart melted at the sight. She draped the couch blanket over you and lightly tucked it in so as to not disturb your slumber. ‘How could anyone hurt something so precious,’ she thought to herself. After she tucked you in, she made her way upstairs to gather your new sheets and comforter to wash them before starting on the rest of the room.

She grabbed the basket of your clothes from her own room and began to hang them up in your closet. Once she finished the task, she cleaned out the dresser and filled it with your socks, pants, and undergarments. One by one, she removed her family photos from the walls and replaced them with the handful of framed photos you brought with you. She recognized your grandparents’ photo from the one time she had met them at the beginning of your second grade year, right before they passed. They were your best friends, you were safe when they were around. Melissa decided to place the picture on your nightstand so that they’d be watching over you every night. Lastly, she organized your toiletries in the guest bathroom and set out a fresh set of towels and one of her robes.

Satisfied with her progress, she took a short break to check on you, change over the laundry, and take out the lasagna. You were still asleep and she didn’t want to disturb you so she ate alone in the dining room and texted her mother.

Mel: Hey, Ma. You mind setting an extra place at the table for family dinner on Sunday?

-Ma: Hot date?

-Mel: Nah. You remember me telling you about Y/N?

-Ma: You’ve talked about her for the last ten years, yeah I remember. Is the poor kid okay? Her parents treating her like shit again?

-Mel: They kicked her to the curb, said she wasn’t welcome back. She’s staying with me for as long as she needs to.

-Ma: Of course I’ll set an extra place for her, Amore. She need anything? You need anything?

-Mel: She needs all the love she can get, just make her feel like family. I’ve got everything else handled. Thanks, Ma.

-Ma: We can do that. Talk soon.

She finished her meal and gathered the clean bedding from the laundry room, making her way back upstairs to make your bed. Once the sheets were on, she fluffed the comforter and pillows before opening your backpack to retrieve your favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Bunz. Even at eighteen, you slept with him tucked in your arms every night. She hugged the well-loved bunny to her heart and thought back to the day she gave him to you. Right before holiday break your third grade year, she pulled you aside at dismissal and tucked him into your backpack. She told you to give him a hug whenever you needed to feel loved and she wasn’t around to give you a hug herself. Little did she know, that was the only gift you received that year.

Melissa placed him in the middle of the pillows, like the cherry on top, and went back downstairs to wake you for dinner. She sat on the arm of the couch and gently began to run her fingers through your hair. “You need to eat somethin’, sweetheart,” she whispered as your eyes fluttered open. You stretched and sat up, leaning your head against her leg.

“What time is it?”

“About 7:30. You’ve been through a lot the last 24 hours, figured you could use the rest. I got your room all set up for ya. I’ll heat up your plate and we can watch a movie before bed. How’s that sound?”

You rolled off the couch and rubbed your eyes. “Sounds good,” you yawned. You followed the redhead into the kitchen and sat at the counter. She warmed your plate in the microwave and placed it in front of you with a glass of water. You demolished your meal like you hadn’t eaten in days, complimenting her cooking after every other bite. You washed your dishes and then made your way back to the living room, joined by Melissa. She turned on one of your favorite comedy movies and watched the light return to your eyes a little more with each scene.

Sitting there, laughing at the stupid jokes on the screen with the closest thing you’ve ever had to a real mom, with a full stomach and a warm bed waiting for you upstairs, you realized something.

For the first time in your eighteen years of life, you were finally home.

[hannahhook7744]

I Was a Kid but I Wasn’t Clueless (Part 3);

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Chapter 3: Star Six Lunch Table Meeting.

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Chapter 3 Summry: Ben talks to his friends about his proclamation and a surprising alliance is formed. Trigger warnings: anger issues, mentions of cheating, dysfunctional families, implied inhumane conditions, manipulation, embarrassing situations involving the internet, possible swearing, implied anxiety, secret keeping, some of these interactions could be seen as bullying, questionable parenting, implied child abuse/neglect/ableism, etc. Let me know if I should add to the list or not. Also yes I know it's possible for Chad not to be adopted. It's just a headcanon of mine (He's related to his grandfather distantly and gets comments about how much he looks like him but it's not common knowledge and his own parents didn't know at first after adopting him, either). A lot of this chapter takes inspiration from the School of secrets web series but with some changes to fit the situation. I own nothing except my ocs and this au/fanfiction.

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Despite what many people liked to think or even outright claim, Ben was someone who liked to be prepared. Which is why he’d come prepared with everything that could possibly convince his friends that inviting the isle kids to Auradon was a good idea and brought with him to lunch in the hopes that it would at least give them enough pause to at least think about talking it over with him. 

Fully prepared to fight to prove his point and to be disappointed, even if the young soon-to-be king didn’t want to be.

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The moment ‘the star six’ as Ben’s friend group was known as children sat down at their usual lunchtime spot at 12:00 PM sharp on Tuesday, he got to work.

Laying out the rough sketch of his proclamation with lists of pros, cons, and reasons why he wanted to do this and passing each of his friends their own lamented copies that he’d made and personalized to meet each of their learning needs. Even including the pictures of the isle kids. Trying to keep his voice neutral volume wise—loud enough for Jane to hear with her hearing issues but quiet enough that those at other tables wouldn’t hear—and showing no emotion just as his father had taught him. Doing his best not to fidget and barely touching ‘Chip’s Grilled Cheese’ (as Mrs. Potts called it on the menu) or the other food on his tray. Occasionally pausing to take a sip of his drink. 

Barely pausing long enough for him to breathe because Ben knew if he did, he might lose his nerve. 

It was 12:30 when he finished and even dared to look at his friends to gauge their reactions— not knowing what to expect. 

Doug, Jane, and Lonnie all looked varying degrees of thoughtful. 

Lonnie also  looked angry and like she might cry, no doubt offended on the behalf of the isle kids and how unfair the whole situation was—just like Ben had expected. She had her phone out and on record so that she could listen to it later and write up an article in the school newspaper if it was needed. 

Doug had started taking notes at some point during Ben’s not quite presentation and Jane had written down some questions in the way she did with the material for the Debate Club, which she was a benchwarmer for. Doug was biting down on his thumb in thought and Jane was wrinkling her nose and clenching her fists so tight that Ben was worried that she might accidentally hurt herself. 

Audrey didn’t look happy in the slightest and neither did Chad but they weren’t outright arguing with him about it, and Chad was examining one of the photos closely which Ben would consider a win. 

“So, uh, any questions or concerns?”

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By the time lunch ended at 1:00 PM, Ben had all five of his friends fully (or at the very least, reluctantly) on board with his proclamation and promising to back him on the matter and help prepare for the Isle Kids’ arrival. 

He also had several loose pages of notebook paper to look over with suggestions his friends had made regarding how to get the isle kids settled in as quickly and smoothly as possible, as well as questions that he needed to find the answers or logical rebuttals to when he inevitably went public with his proclamation. Something all of his friends had agreed he would need (which was a surprise within itself considering just how rare it was for all five of them to agree on anything these days). 

Doug had pointed out that he’d likely need to set up some kind of financial aid plan to help the kids in settling in and with things like health care and such, and had offered to help him draw up plans for it after school, since he was the best with numbers out of the group. Something Audrey said was a good idea since it would allow for the isle kids to get brought here quicker if he already had such things figured out when he went public with it and to which Chad had commented that it’d also make it seem like less of a plan based solely on emotion and not logistics. Adding that it would also look good to his parents and the other adults Ben would soon be working with if he had things planned out ahead of time, when he noticed the surprised looks the rest of the group was giving him. 

Jane had a list of things her mom would probably have concerns over regarding the proclamation and mentioned that she’d take him more seriously if he had answers to the questions when he brought the whole idea up, and not after. 

Lonnie pointed out that the kids would need somewhere to stay over the summer if they couldn’t go home and that finding them temporary foster placements during a school break would help them get adjusted to life in Auradon better than just throwing them face first into classes. To which Doug then chimed in that they might need screening for any learning disabilities and placement tests to figure out if they were where they were supposed to be education wise before they started at the school too, so that accommodations could be made. Preventing any embarrassment that might occur if the isle kids needed those things or weren’t where they were supposed to be. Something Jane agreed with, before adding that if there was documentation of any issues the kids had regarding trauma, disabilities, or past injuries that things would go smoother since it would make it harder for any teachers to discriminate against them on that front. 

Ben hoped that that wouldn’t be necessary in the long run but knew that it was better to be safe than sorry. 

Chad suggested they offer therapy if the kids wanted it and added that Ben and Jane should talk to “Aunt Fay” about making sure that the group shared every class with at least one member if possible. Shrugging and claiming that it’d probably be easier for them when asked why (Ben wondered if the blonde was talking from his own experience of suddenly attending classes with people he didn’t know after he was adopted but didn’t ask). 

Audrey’s main suggestion (one that all his friends agreed with after she explained her reasoning for it) was that someone should take the isle kids shopping so that they had school appropriate clothes and school supplies. Pointing out that they might feel embarrassed if they weren’t able to bring anything like that from home, since the hand-me-downs they got from the barrage might not be in the best shape sometimes. 

All of which Ben hadn’t thought of (or at least not that extensively) beforehand and thought were lovely suggestions. Ones he hadn’t expected but was happy to get. 

Briefly, the brunette wondered what would have happened if he went with his first instinct— which was to keep the whole proclamation thing under wraps until he had his parents’ approval on it. Would he have had all of his friend’s full support on it? Would Audrey and Chad have taken it well? 

Would he have thought of these things?

Ben of course, didn’t have an answer for these questions and likely never would but it was still interesting to think about.

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None of them knew it yet, but none of them would be able to get the isle off of their mind anytime soon in the weeks to come.

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Today was the day. 

The day Ben was going to tell his parents of his first proclamation!

He had never been more nervous in his life, not even when he’d gotten grounded for a month after cutting up his dad’s favorite rose bush while trying to help tend to the garden or after he had to tell his dad that he’d yelled at the Council of sidekicks after being tasked to listen to their complaints not that long ago. 

(The very thing that, along with his dreams of Mal, had made him think of his proclamation to begin with). 

His parents weren’t going to like this. 

In fact, Ben was sure they were absolutely going to despise this idea of his—but that wasn’t going to stop him from bringing the isle kids to Auradon, not when they needed help. 

He steeled himself, trying not to fidget as Lummire took his measurements for his new suit.

(Truth be told, the young prince didn’t want to be anywhere near the man he’d come to consider an uncle after the conversation they had just had. 

“Do you ever think about the Isle of the Lost,  Lummire? I’ve heard there are children there my age sentenced to spend their lives under the dome because of things their parents did.”

“Mm. One can never overemphasize the importance of descending from GOOD STOCK. ”

The whole thing was making his skin crawl.

Good stock?

What did that even mean? ). 

“Sleeve. Head.”

“How is it possible that you're gonna be crowned king next month? You're just a baby!” Ben’s dad looked so proud of him. 

It just made Ben all the more nervous. 

Belle rolled her eyes, smiling softly at him. “He’s turning sixteen, dear.”

Might as well just rip the Band-Aid off. “Hey pops—” 

“Sixteen? That's far too young to be crowned king. I didn't make a good decision until I was at least forty two.”

“Uh, you decided to marry me at 28.”

“Ah, it was either you or a teapot.” 

Ben, despite his nerves, couldn’t help but laugh at the look his mom shot his dad after his , admittedly terrible, joke. 

“Kidding.”

“Mom, dad…” Ben tried to cut in—only to get cut off by Lumerie once again. 

“Ah! Mmm-mm!”

Ben forced himself to continue, knowing that if he didn’t he would never tell them. “I've chosen my first official proclamation. I've decided that the children on the Isle of the Lost be given a chance…” He paused, looking out the window to the isle, where he knew the Badun Detective Agency and Mal were currently roaming around without hope. It wasn’t right. “—to live here in Auradon.”

Seeing his parents’ shocked faces, the fifteen year old made himself talk faster so he could at least finish what he had to say. “Every time I look out to the island, I feel like they've all been abandoned.”

“The children of our sworn enemies? Living amongst us?” Beast looked at Belle, no doubt silently asking the queen if she was hearing what he was hearing. 

Ben’s stomach started to sink but he kept moving forward, as the Lewis Robinson always said to do: he wasn’t going to give up on this. He could be just as stubborn as his parents when he wanted to be. “We start out with a few at first, only the ones who need our help the most. I've already chosen them.”

“Have you?” 

Belle elbowed Beast, giving him a look (something Ben was thankful for. He needed all the help he could get). “I gave you a second chance. Who are their parents?”

“Edgar Balthazar and Sarah Brown. Jasper Badun. The Ringmaster and Miss Atlantis. 

Tareq Vizer of Agrabah and Maji of Agrabah. Helga Sinclair and Horace Badun. Yzma… and Hades.” Ben braced himself, forcing himself not to cover his ears despite knowing what was coming.

Lummire yelped. 

“HADES? He’s one of the worst villains in the land!”

“Dad, come on, just hear me out here—”Ben pleaded, stepping forward; this time Lummire didn’t stop him as he quickly left the room. 

“I won't hear of it. They are guilty of unspeakable crimes!”

Belle grabbed his arm, shooting him a look. Her silent way of saying ‘you need to control your temper’. 

And Ben…

Well, he wasn’t proud of what he was about to do and silently hoped that the gods could forgive him for it.

“Dad, their children are innocent—”he frowned, widening his eyes just like Chad had taught him. Trying to look as distressed as possible (which wasn’t hard considering just how guilty and stressed and worried he was feeling). Giving them his best kicked puppy dog look—something he had sworn he’d never do, because he had hoped he never would. “Don’t you think they deserve a chance? A shot at a normal life? Dad?”

It was a miracle he managed to stop himself from wincing.

That would have given his whole ‘ruse’ away. 

His dad stared at him for a long minute, before the anger drained out of him and he sighed. “I suppose their children are innocent.”

“Well.” Belle smiled, clearly satisfied with Beast’s answer. “Well done. Shall we?”

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Lonnie yelped as she nearly tripped off of the chair she was using to install the camera—almost getting her face caught in the frame, which would have been bad because the last thing she wanted was to have to try and edit her face out of the video again . 

She shouldn’t have been doing this.

That she knew. 

But she also knew that Ben was too trusting and that his proclamation wasn’t going to go over well with several of their peers, and she wanted him to be prepared for that. 

And if that meant knocking some of their said peers off of their high horses to get her point across? 

Well, she wasn’t exactly going to cry over it. 

If they couldn’t be open about the possibility of isle kids coming here, then Lonnie wasn’t going to be tight lipped about the fact they were two faced jerks who didn’t think about others or the rules unless it affected him. It was a fair tradeoff, in her opinion. 

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Chad sat on his bed at home, staring at the picture of Hades’ son that Ben planned to invite to Auradon. Trying desperately not to think of the fight he had just had with his parents or the disappointed look Fairy Godmother had given him after that video of the Lunchroom stalker going through his phone and the video she had titled ‘sub text’ had gone viral.

His parents hadn’t been happy. 

FG hadn’t either. 

And all three of them had made sure that he knew it.

And now he was stuck in his room, staring at the photo of one of the kids he was helping Ben bring over—something he likely wouldn’t have agreed to do if he’d found out about Ben’s proclamation along with everyone else and not beforehand. 

He felt like their friendship was dying—(Just like his grandparents had)—and if that had happened it only would have been more proof of that fact. But it hadn’t. 

Ben had wanted their opinions. Had wanted their help.

(He hadn’t asked for their help since middle school). 

And Chad had agreed to help him, keeping what he truly thought to himself. Something he knew Audrey was probably also doing—the two of them had always been in sync with one another like that, after all—all because Ben had asked them to and had trusted them enough to tell them despite knowing they were going to fight him on it. 

Their lack of fighting seemed to surprise him and the others. 

(Chad tried not to think too hard about that). 

Hades’ son. Hadie, was eight and he liked the color blue, puppies, and flowers. 

Chad’s sister, Chloe, was eight and liked the color blue, puppies, and flowers.

Chad’s sister was safe in Auradon in a castle in Cinderellasburg and never wanted for anything other than better health (the one thing their parents couldn’t give her).

Hades’ son was trapped on the isle with monsters sleeping who knows where and probably wanting for more than he should. Probably always wanting for something, through no fault of his own. 

(“Think about your sister, Chadwick, and the example you’re setting for her with this—” His father had said with a raised voice, pointing at the computer screen where the two videos were now paused. 

His mother was crying and couldn’t look at him. 

Aunt Fay had that stupid disappointed frown on her face that she always had. 

Chloe was playing outside, with a chaperone to make sure she didn’t wander back inside and eavesdrop on their conversation.

“—actions have consequences, son, and those consequences don’t always affect just you. What if Chloe’s school mates find this when they’re older? What if they find it now —”

It was the only part of the scolding that had really stuck in Chad’s mind. 

He hadn’t considered Chloe at all when he was leading those girls on to get help with his homework. Why would he have? She was eight and wasn’t involved in the situation at all. It wouldn’t affect her if she didn’t see it—

But… his dad made a good point. 

It could affect her—Chad didn’t want it to affect her. 

He didn’t want her to lose friends because of what he did and to miss out on things because of him. 

And he most certainly didn’t want anyone treating her like he had treated those girls…

He had to make a change—but what if it was too late?

What if Chad had already doomed Chloe and didn’t even know it?). 

Chloe was safe with parents and a big brother to protect her from everything but her sickly health.

But Hadie might not have that. 

And it wasn’t right. 

Under different circumstances, Chloe could have been Hadie.

And that wasn’t acceptable. 

Chad hadn’t thought it was the moment he laid eyes on the picture in his hand the first time. 

Maybe that was part of the reason why he was keeping his mouth shut about the whole thing. 

Hadie deserved a chance at a life without fear.

Every child did. 

Chad couldn’t erase how much of a dick he’d been to his friends and others or rewrite the narrative of what had happened with the girls he’d manipulated, but he could help Ben with this and he could try to be better. 

So that’s what he was going to do. 

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“SNIFFLES, WHERE’S MY BRUSH?!”  Unity (or Bossy, as most people called her) shrieked from upstairs.

“HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW?!” Sniffles hollered, her voice sounding a bit farther away than Unity’s was—which likely meant she was in her room, which was the farthest away from the stairs and the kitchen. 

The kitchen, where Doug was currently trying to revamp the isle kid financial aid plan and program Ben had come up with to account for some of the more recent information Ben had brought to his attention. Trying to figure out an average cost for what each vk would need with and without donations while also trying to revamp the summary Ben had written to remove any words or phrasing that could raise people’s heckles. The last thing Ben needed was to get yelled at, again , because of people’s misinterpreting his well-meaning words. 

Unfortunately for Doug, his brother had insisted he come home and spend some time with his family that weekend so all of that was taking a bit longer than planned: It probably didn’t help that because  the teen was home and supposed to be keeping things under wraps he’d had to resort to writing in code to prevent his more nosey cousins from getting word of what he was doing. 

Most of them weren’t happy with Ben’s proclamation and Doug didn’t feel like getting in an argument with any of them (or worse, his uncles and aunts who were very vocal about their own opinions) over how involved he was in the whole thing or if he had known before Ben had even announced his proclamation what he was going to. 

CRASH. 

"Crashy-"

"It wasn't me this time! It was Bash and Cheerful!"

"Snitch!"

“CHEERFUL, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT DOING CARTWHEELS IN THE HOUSE?!”

“BASH! NO PLAYING BALL IN THE HOUSE!”

"WHEEZY, HOW DID YOU GET ON THE ROOF?!"

“I AM NEVER GOING TO SCHOOL AGAIN!”

“Raphel, I know you’re embarrassed but you’ll never become a doctor if you stop going to school–”

“MY DISASTER OF AN ATTEMPT AT FLIRTING IS TRENDING! I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE AGAIN!”

Giggles snorted, Smiley laughed, and Joy cackled. 

“Girls! No laughing at your cousin’s misery—”

“But daaaad, it’s true! That was an awful attempt—”

“And he is trending!”

“That’s no excuse!” 

Doc the 2nd, Loverboy, and/or Raphel as he was known buried his face in his hands and ran out of the room. “I AM NEVER LEAVING THIS HOUSE AGAIN!”

Uncle Doc winced and ran after him to do damage control after shooting a glare at Uncle Happy. He would definitely be hearing about that later.

“Okay, so, from the top Shy. What do we say when we have to go up to the counter and make an order?”

“Uh, I, uh—we…”

Something shattered in the garden and Uncle Grumpy could be heard yelling. “SNAPPY! GROUCHY! GORDON! CRABBY! GRUMPY JR! MADISON! STOP FIGHTING THIS INSTANT—”

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" 

"Happy Jr, stop encouraging your cousins!"

Doug’s eye twitched. 

‘You okay?’ Derek signed, frowning and tilting his head to the side. Momentarily ignoring their mother as she fussed over his hair and asked about his most recent date and when his next club event would be. 

(She never remembered any of his club events… or maybe she just didn’t care. It was possible given that the two of them didn’t share many interests in common. That didn’t make it hurt any less, though). 

“I’m fine.” Doug sighed and went back to what he was doing. Or tried too anyway. It was kind of hard with Nighty (or Creepy, as she had insisted lately), Sleepy Jr, and Snoozy snoring all around him and with Gus/Gesundheit, Snot, Sniffles, and Sneezy Jr sneezing every five seconds from all the around the house because the family never dusted and the pollen was getting worse.

All of it was too much and was making it oh so hard to focus—and that wasn’t even accounting for the racket his aunts were making as they ran around the house: some trying to break up fights, a couple talking to extended family and planning the next family reunion, and the rest doing who knows what who knows where. 

Jane would probably be happy she missed it. 

Gods knew their family could be a bit much. 

Suddenly, his notebook was ripped from his hands—because in all the chaos he’d forgotten not one, not two, not even three, but six of his cousins, as he always did. And it just so happened that he’d gone and forgotten the nosiest of them all.  Goopy (who was three months old), Babbles (who was one), Cranky (who was two), Dozy (who was three), Noisy (who was four), Nosey (who was seven),  and Hap (who was seventeen).

“You still write in that code you and your friends came up with when you were six?” Hap snorted, looking at the paper with all of Doug’s work over with an amused grin. 

“What is it?! what is it? I wanna see!” Noisy whined, tugging on Hap’s coat. 

“I bet it’s about that horrible date he went on. I guess Uncle Dopey should have named him Clumsy.” Hap snickered—he was never going to let Doug live that stupid picnic date down, was he? It wasn’t fair. 

Anyone could trip over a candle and start a fire. So why was it when Doug did it, it was oh so funny?

(Why was everything so much funnier or worse when Doug did it in his cousins’ minds?).

“So do I!” Nosey chimed in, holding up Babbles. “And Babbles does too!”

Doug tried to snatch back his notebook. “Well you aren’t going to, that’s private!”

“Not till you tell us what it is—” Hap teased, holding the notebook out of Doug’s reach—which was behind him since Doug was taller than him by quite a bit. 

Doug’s mom didn’t intervene. Just sighing at the sight of them fighting, even though she had to have seen Hap start it. 

Derek, on the other hand, had no problem intervening and yanked the notebook out of Hap’s hands almost immediately. Tossing it back to Doug with an apologetic look, hoping it wasn’t damaged by his actions. 

Doug gave him a thankful look before weaving his way out of the room before his cousins could badger him any further.

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Jane, even weeks later, couldn’t help but wonder if her mother knew how bad the isle was.

Because from the way the background in the photos looked and the state of the children in them alone, Jane could just tell that the isle wasn’t exactly a nice place to be. It didn’t look clean. It didn’t look safe. The kids didn’t look healthy and happy .

And the fourteen year old just couldn’t stand the sight of any of it. 

Or the thought that her mother may have known about this. 

It was bad enough knowing that Ben's parents could have known, but her own mother? Who always preached about goodness and how they should strive to be as good as they can to others? 

She didn't want to believe it… but Jane couldn't fully dismiss the possibility. 

(And wasn't that heartbreaking, the fact that she couldn't discern whether her mother would actually have allowed something like this to happen knowingly?)

“Three rounds—”Jeremiah Darling, son of John Darling and Luna, broke her out of her chain of thought as he started their next practice season for the debate team—in which he was the captain for. “Topic: should the descendants of villains be allowed in Auradon?”

Jane nearly groaned at the question—ever since Ben had announced his first proclamation the school had been abuzz with everyone sharing their own opinions on it—some not very nicely, mind you—and it was driving her insane. 

And of course, he just had to ask the question to her and Doug’s most annoying and vicious cousin, Unity, and her of all people. 

Jane was beginning to become convinced that she was cursed. First that stupid quiz saying that she belonged on the isle of the lost and now this?  What had she done to deserve this? She would have never have agreed to do this topic if she had known Unity was going to be the one she was debating against. Everyone knows that once Unity has her mind set on something she rarely changes it.

“Annnnd begin—” Jeremiah hit the bell and Unity didn’t hesitate even for a moment before launching into her speech on her stance, gesturing like a politician as she did. As if she was making a wonderful point and not discriminating against a ton of kids none of them had ever met, let alone been sure had existed until Ben had thought of it. 

What a load of—

Jeremiah hit the bell again, gesturing for Jane to begin and of course, because it was Jane going against Unity she got tongue tied. 

Ah biddity.

------------------------------------------------------------

Truth be told, Audrey wasn’t happy about Ben’s proclamation in the slightest.

She didn’t trust the vks and she didn’t want them here—not after what her grandmother had told her when she was growing whenever she bothered to ask about the isle. 

But…she could overlook that for Ben. 

Because she loved him and he had trusted her enough to lay out his proclamation, and ask for her help and her insight despite knowing there was a high possibility of her arguing with him over it. Something she couldn’t help but appreciate and feel relief over.

She could only imagine how hurt she’d have felt if she were to find out about the proclamation any other way. Because if she had found out about it some other way, that would have meant that Ben didn’t trust her enough to aid him in this type of thing.

It would have been a red flag—no not a red flag, a sign. A sign that their relationship was close to ending and that their near decade long friendship was damaged because of it—but it wasn’t. Because Ben had trusted her enough to ask for help.

(which though Audrey didn’t know it then, was a sign that their friendship could survive even if their romantic one didn’t). 

Audrey could overlook her distrust and dislike of the idea of the vks coming here and put those feelings aside for Ben, the little boy who had helped her clean the mud off her dress after someone had pushed her into the mud in kindergarten and the young man who had stolen her heart. 

She was going to help the vks settle in and help the proclamation strive.

For Ben. 

And for everything he believed in.

And she was going to do a damn good job of it or her name wasn’t Princess Audrea Fae Rose of Auroria—event planner, drama club member, member of the ethics committee, and captain of the cheer squad.

------------------------------------------------------------

Doug grimaced as he watched the Lunchroom’s stalker’s video about his disastrous date with Skitten Jenkins. 

Looks like he was never going to stop being single. 

Why would anyone post this?

He jumped when he heard footsteps, quickly placing his phone face down on the table not wanting Ben to see the humiliating video that was quickly going viral and blowing up his feed. His friend had enough to worry about without his issues getting in the way of their plans. 

(At least he had Doc 2 to confide in—he was still just as humiliated by his own video. Doug was pretty sure he’d uninstalled all of his socials after his went viral. At least his hadn’t been edited to have a laugh track over it like Doug’s had. Maybe he should have been named Lucky, instead of Doc 2). 

Only when the band member looked up, it wasn’t Ben who was at the table. It was Audrey, in her cheer uniform, clearly having just got back from practice. 

“Oh, uh hi Audrey.:” Doug couldn’t keep how awkward the situation was out of his voice. It had been awhile since he and Audrey had hung out one-on-one, and while he knew full well how he felt about Chad (though, recently, he was starting to doubt that since Chad was acting…nicer… for some reason), he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about Audrey.

High school had made everything so complicated between their friends and he hated it. 

What happened to the days where things were simple and he didn’t hate Chad’s guts or avoid being around Audrey because of some off kilter things she said that she would have never said back then?

“I thought Ben was going to—”

Audrey cut him off, scrolling on her phone. A small smile on her face. “Bennie boo has enough to worry about with the new kids arriving so soon.”

“Oh—”

“I told him  I’d help him—and you—out with the welcoming committee.”

Doug blinked, a bit taken aback. He couldn’t remember the last time the princess included him in anything. “That’s nice of you. Okay, well—”

“Don’t worry—” that was starting to get annoying. Luckily Doug was used to being interrupted. “—I’ve already made a list of everything we need. Take this down…please.”

This was getting odder by the moment. 

“Sure.” Doug got his pencil ready, feeling mildly suspicious, and Audrey continued. No trace of malice on her face or in her voice.

“We need a limousine to bring them here, something classy but not too  extravagant or luxurious since we need to fit the budget and don’t want them to get overwhelmed. So budget classy.” A well thought out point and very thoughtful. 

“–And I don’t know what they enjoy for snacks, since Ben can’t seem to find a record of what types of food exactly were sent to the isle by the council. Someone suggested frogs or newts—and I’m not one to judge but ew. I’m also not sure that that’s true and don’t want to offend them before they even get here.”

“So no Amphibians?”

After getting confirmation in the form of a nod, Doug jotted that down and then made a note to have a survey taken on the different types of snacks everyone liked so they had some idea of what to put in the limo. 

“And of course, someone will have to show them the grounds and the dorms before their foster parents come to pick them up for spring break so we’ll have to make time for that. I was also thinking about having the marching band be there but Ben and I decided that might be a little too much. What do you think?”

“It would be…a bit overwhelming… to be met with a marching band if you weren’t expecting it. Especially during your first day in a new place, We should probably save that idea for a later date.” Doug replied after getting over his shock that she’d asked for his opinion. 

It wasn’t often that people did.

Other than Ben and Jane, that was. 

“Hmm, you’re probably right. Not to mention it would probably slow things down since Ben wants to get the doctor visits and shopping trip out of the way as soon as possible so they can settle in and enjoy their first week in Auradon without classes waying them down.” Audrey tapped something on her phone. “Oh and Doug?”

“Uh…yeah?”

“Rewatching that video over and over again won’t make it disappear. All it’s doing is stressing you out. You need to keep it out of sight and out of mind, and remember that everyone will forget about it when the next big embarrassing thing happens.” She gave him a sympathetic smile, taking him even further off guard. “It’s not forever and Skitten knows you’re sorry. It may be over with her  but that doesn’t mean you’ve been erased from the dating pool completely, okay?”

“Okay…?”

Alright, that settled it. Doug was dreaming. 

(He pinched himself after Audrey walked off with a determined pep to herself and found that he was not, in fact, dreaming).

------------------------------------------------------------

Fairy Godmother, or Fay Fae as those closest to her knew her as, wasn’t sure what to think. 

Ben’s parents, the council of sidekicks, and the royal council—not to mention many staff members—thought the whole thing was going to end in disaster. But she couldn’t help but think otherwise.

Ben had clearly put a lot of thought into his proclamation, even including counterpoints to rebuff the arguments many tried to dissuade him with. 

If she didn’t know better, she would almost think he’d had help.

But no, he had had to have done it all on his own. Because surely, otherwise, she would have heard rumors about what he was planning from a staff member if not Jane. 

She couldn’t be prouder. 

Even if she couldn’t help but feel anxious about the child of the man who had bullied her in highschool coming to Auradon and being under her care.

Since she was responsible for all of the children in the Auradon Preparatory Elementary, Middle, and High Schools (since the schools were connected and divided up into sections) and all. 

Oh pixie sticks, Fay was not ready for this at all. 

Why couldn’t she have chosen to work as the president at Auradon University instead?

College students were so much easier to handle.

[ao3feed-peterstiles]

02. Trust issues

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/59394691 by Anything00but Peter wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night when something crawls in his bed. He jumps to sit up, wolfed out and ready to attack. Eyes burning bright blue, claws out, ready to attack whoever is in his bed. Peter scents the room, not smelling any danger. Only anxiousness and the sweet base scent of the pup. “They are blue”, Comes a tiny voice of Stiles’, sounding reserved in the darkness of the room. “What?” Peter asks, still half wolfed out, just in case. “Your eyes. They are blue. Like mine”, Stiles whispers, flashing his own blue eyes at the older wolf. Words: 10500, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Whumptober 2024 Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Talia Hale, The Hale Family (Teen Wolf) Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Angst, Sick Claudia Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski is Not Stiles Stilinski's Parent, Bad Parent Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Werewolf Stiles Stilinski, Child Neglect, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Peter Hale, Everyone Is Alive, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Beta Peter Hale, Good Pack Alpha Talia Hale, Mates, True Mates, Protective Peter Hale, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Possessive Behavior, Child Stiles Stilinski, Young Peter Hale, Whumptober 2024 Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/59394691

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

mourning (4042 words) by hallowlock Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Borderlands (Video Games) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Sir Hammerlock/Wainwright Jakobs, Sir Hammerlock & Angel, Wainwright Jakobs & Angel, Sir Hammerlock & Wainwright Jakobs & Original Character, Margaret Jakobs/Montgomery Jakobs Characters: Sir Hammerlock (Borderlands), Wainwright Jakobs, Angel (Borderlands), Original Character, Katagawa Jr. (mentioned), Troy Calypso (Mentioned), Montgomery Jakobs, Margaret Jakobs (mentioned) Additional Tags: Confusing, Ergodic Fiction, Gothic Horror, Southern Gothic, Biblical Themes (Abrahamic Religions), Mythology References, Literary References & Allusions, Inspired by House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski, Inspired by Wesele | The Wedding - Wyspiański, Trans Wainwright Jakobs, Trans Sir Hammerlock, T4T Sir Hammerlock/Wainwright Jakobs, Magical Realism, Symbolism, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Murder, Ghosts, Eldritch Wainwright Jakobs (implied), Family Issues, Attempted Kidnapping, mild political themes, Class Traitor Wainwright Jakobs, Canonical Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canonical Child Neglect, Autism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, angst with a not necessarily happy but definitely sort of uplifting ending, Grief/Mourning, Implied Sexual Content Series: Part 6 of Alivemanor (and Supplementaries) Summary:

I fasten the buttons of my overcoat. Out The Manor we go.

REQUIRED READING: This work is a supplementary for and contains spoilers for JakobsEstate.sav, it's HIGHLY recommended you read it before this.

[suranastair]

@14dayscirclemages

This is Part 2 of a writing challenge for my Dragon Age Origins OC Selph Surana.

Tumblr Links: | 1 | 2 |

~ Prompt 2: Upbringing ~

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62724109/chapters/160899159

Rating: Teen & Mature

Warnings/Tags: Child Abuse, Child Death, Child Neglect, Good ol' Racism against elves/mages in Thedas.

Word Count: 1,894

Summary: The road ahead leaves Selph in a place of defeat as First Enchanter Irving awaits the arrival of fledgling mages.

It hurts…

Waves of hot and cold waxed and waned in time with the uneven bobs of the wagon. Numerous bandages, stinging with globs of ointment and elfroot, were layered on Selph’s back.

The wagon was crowded with three children, Selph included. In addition were two Chantry sisters and two templars. Outside, two more templars on horseback trotted vigilant on either side of the wagon. Even the jockey was a trained soldier, clad in leathers that were enchanted to resist magic.

Another surge of pain surfaced and Selph bit her lip. She learned quickly to keep quiet, to follow any and all orders issued. Their escorts “wouldn’t suffer disobedience of any kind”, words that came from a templar as they wiped blood off their longsword. Selph whimpered, didn’t want to remember what happened, pushed the thoughts away.

She didn’t sleep, and if she did, it wasn’t for long. Worst of all, her nightmares were back. The warm presence that once brought her comfort was gone. Its warmth had changed, morphed into something…different. It had burned brighter, had become too hot. So hot it burned itself up, burned her up.

It had shown her things. Terrible things. Things that she refused to acknowledge right then.

Bits and pieces fell into place in the days that passed, but it was all a cold comfort. Every time she opened her eyes, the pain was there as a reminder of all she lost.

Rations were being passed out by one of the sisters, indicating alongside the sun’s current position that it was noon. Selph took hers with her unoccupied hand, nodding in artificial thanks. She adjusted the blanket around her shoulders, glancing in her other palm. Within was Eira’s favorite hair piece. It was a tarnished thing, and its pearls had lost their luster, but it was the only thing of her old life she had left. She refused to let the templars or sisters take it from her.

Selph shuffled back into place, clutched the barrette, and tried not to agitate her dressings. It was difficult; the blanket was itchy and thick, and she suffered more than minor cuts and bruises. She quickly finished her rations—a softened apple with some dry bread and stinky cheese—satiating her growling stomach.

She feared even that would be too much noise for the templars, was thankful for the food no matter how stale or rotten. Afterward, she went to brush her fingers through her hair to calm herself, but found it shorter than she remembered, frayed at the ends. Her lip quivered, but she didn’t make a peep.

Noon turned to eve, the sky went from a bright and brilliant orange to the deep, starry blue of night. Soon, the wagon rounded a hill with a steep slope, one leading toward a rocky shoreline.

Far out on the waters, a great silhouette came into view. Selph’s eyes couldn’t help but widen in awe. Even the other children had little noises and whispers pop up among themselves.

Kinloch Hold. The Circle Tower of Ferelden.

Selph read about it in some history books she borrowed in the village. She read about those who housed themselves there, about the mages gaining an education and harnessing their magics.

Mages. Magic. It was still hard to accept. She had magic, and this was to be her new home.

“If the little knife-eared witch survives,” the mayor spat during her departure, his bulbous face red with fury. The first impression of that despicable man faded long ago for Selph.

Still, it hurt. It hurt down to her core. They all wanted her dead, but it was ultimately Eira who paid the price for Selph’s secrecy and ignorance.

And yet, Eira had secrets of her own. “Sticky fingers for the mayor’s coffers,” Halwen had said with pride as she ratted Eira out. Bit by bit for years in order to save outside of her meager salary. All so she could keep her promise to Selph and Selph’s father.

But Eira was her stepmother second, and a servant first. The consolation for the village was that a thief was stopped and received the highest penalty for her actions, and her ‘conspirator’ was on death’s doorstep, leaving their village one way or another. Forever.

***

Irving stood at the heavy entrance doors of the tower. His hands were behind his back, correcting his posture that was only getting worse with age. It didn’t help that it was already late, but this meeting couldn’t wait. As First Enchanter of Kinloch Hold, his presence was mandatory for this procedure.

Though he was apprehensive, and exhausted from his daily duties, Irving wasn’t as on-edge as his colleague, Greagoir. The latter stood next to him in full plate with his skeptical glower and tightened jaw. Of the two, Irving seemed more unassuming, but of the two, Irving was a mage. Irving would call himself mediocre at best, enjoying his administrative duties in the tower more than the upkeep of his magics, but Greagoir didn’t become the Knight-Commander by allowing anyone or anything to prove him incompetent or careless. They were equals on opposite sides of a spectrum, meeting as respectfully as possible in the middle.

“How many are we to expect again, Greagoir?” Irving asked in his scratchy and throaty tone, one hand beginning to stroke his lengthy beard.

Greagoir stared ahead. “The last message we received estimated four or five for this route.”

“Ah. More than I recall.”

“Three days have passed since, however.”

“True, true.”

Greagoir gave a noncommittal response and wrung one of his gauntleted hands on the pommel of his sword. Irving continued to remain visibly calm, their contrasting dispositions surfacing once again.

It didn’t take long for the group’s arrival, the double doors rumbling with a loud thrum that echoed off the high ceiling. They swung open, their enchantment momentarily disabled. The first to enter were the two Chantry sisters, stepping forward to deliver the specifics of the new arrivals while the templars decompressed. Only to Greagoir were they to speak; Irving would talk to the others himself and hear the short version later from Greagoir.

Several templars then guided in the new wards with Greagoir’s command, and the doors to the tower clanged shut once again. All of them were children—as expected, and all of them were despondent and downtrodden—also expected. Irving’s expression and stance remained still and serene, but inward he felt that pang of kinship he could never fully banish when seeing their faces.

Two girls and one boy. One of the girls was an elf. Irving could tell she was more harrowed than the others. That wasn’t unexpected, considering the stature of most elves in Ferelden, but…

Irving felt himself pulled to the hunched girl. His robes shuffled along the floor, the sound drowned out with the conversing of templars and sisters. He tried to get a better look at her as he knelt to her level.

Her blonde hair was short, uneven, and frazzled, unnaturally so. Glancing down, Irving saw her hands were clasped so hard together that her knuckles were white. There were small lacerations on them and her face, nothing too serious. However, her shirt had a wide, open neckline, revealing the bandages beneath. And, though the shirt was oversized, he could see the unevenness and bulk of them. She also had a sheen of sweat retained from fever.

Irving grumbled and stood. “Pardon my interruption,” he addressed the sisters and Greagoir. “Does this girl need a healer?”

“Once things were finished here, yes,” one of the sisters chimed in nonchalance.

Pursing his lips, Irving further pressed. “I trust that Wynne would be up to such a task while we finish.”

The tension in the air made itself known, and the sisters frowned. One of the templars from the journey stepped forward to address Greagoir.

 “This one’s trouble, Knight-Commander. Head of her village warned us that—”

“What sort of trouble, Cerand?” Greagoir cut in.

“The combustion sort, Knight-Commander.”

Greagoir shot a glance at the elven girl with a curt sigh. “Any casualties?”

“Along the way or from the pickups?”

“Both.” Greagoir said, his voice demanding.

“One,” said a sister, the disgust and impatience in her voice clear, “and she was almost beyond recognition when her body was recovered.”

“I see.” The Knight-Commander paused for a moment. “Burn injuries then?”

Before either the sister or Cerand could answer, Irving once again inserted his own question. “When were her dressings applied?”

“When we left the settlement,” answered the sister with a tsk.

Irving nodded and furrowed his brows. “Nearly a fortnight ago?”

A long silence then fell over the group, one that wasn’t addressed as Cerand finished what the sister started.

“There was also one casualty along the route. A boy from Denerim. He was a runner. Tried to use ice on us as he escaped and nearly killed Sister Edith. Bran took care of him.”

Irving felt his jaw clench, probably as tight as Greagoir’s then. News as such was normal, but never any easier to hear. And he wasn’t giving up so easily.

“Did this girl attempt any such violence or escape attempts? Were there any further issues of the ‘combustion sort’? If this girl is as much trouble as you claim, then why didn’t Bran ‘take care’ of her as well?

“I…” Cerand was at a loss for words.

In his place, Sister Edith stepped in. “You dare to—!”

“Enough,” Greagoir said with another longer sigh. “Cerand, retrieve Senior Enchanter Wynne from her quarters. The others will stay until our discussions have ended. Agreed?”

Edith and the other sister exchanged looks of annoyance, but they didn’t argue any further. The late hour surely dictated their cooperation, and Irving used that to his advantage. Cerand was sent off to start his climb to the senior mage quarters with several mutterings under his breath, and Greagoir returned to his discussions with his knights and the sisters.

Irving turned to kneel once more to the elven girl. “What’s your name, child?”

The girl, as well as the other children, looked at the elder man with awe. Flickers of renewed hope showed in their eyes. Irving smiled, glad to have given them that, at the very least.

“I-I’m Selph,” said the elven girl, tilting her freckled nose upwards for proper eye contact.

“And how old are you, Selph?”

“N-nine.” Her green eyes darted to her clasped hands again before back to Irving. “I’m nine.”

Irving then turned to another child, the boy of the group. “And you?”

“Uh, Devon. Devon Willard, ser. I’m eleven.”

The other girl then jumped in. “I’m Elowyn! I’m nine, too!” She gave a momentary grin to Selph with a missing top tooth.

Chuckling at the latter’s enthusiasm, Irving extended his hand and took them all one at a time in a light shake. “Well met. My name is Irving, but you’ll all come to know me as First Enchanter. Despite the harrowing circumstances you must have faced along your journey, allow me to be the first to welcome you all to the Circle of Magi.”

There, in the cold and stony halls of the tower, for the first time in what felt like forever, Selph felt a different kind of warmth—not like that of the bygone spirit, but one of kindred acceptance.

[bugs1nmybrain]

Chapter 1: The Beginning Stages

Summary: covering topics about my first fictional crushes as a young child (between 2 to 6 years old, or 2005 to 2009 respectively). Also topics about bisexuality and my gender queer identity.

Posted: February 1st, 2025

word count: 2880

Trigger Warning mention: This chapter includes mentions of CSA and trauma. I've posted another alternate chapter that isn't so detailed for people who'd rather not have those details or have trauma histories themselves, because I totally understand. I felt it was important to share this for contextual reasons but it's a serious topic.

From my earliest memories, I remember them being around. It’s very normal to have imaginary friends as children, but you can’t say the same for later childhood, teen years, especially not adulthood. However, imaginary friends is where my romantic interest in fictional characters began. Character obsessions that come to mind from my early toddlerhood to maybe the age of 6 include: Elmo, Woody from Toy Story, Dora, Barnie, Barbie, Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Jack Skellington, Victor and Emily from Corpse Bride, and likely many others my brain can’t remember given how young I was. I want to note that some of these characters were not necessarily romantic interests, I was sort of too young to know about that, though there were still some characters I felt an affectionate type of “love” for.

The way my attraction to characters work has a double effect. A part of it is a genuine interest, a hobby-ish, and something I enjoy collecting stuff of and want to watch over and over and see as much content as possible. So your typical nerd obsession.

The other side is a soothing aspect that eventually became romantic as time went on. I used the fictional characters I was interested in as imaginary friends since I knew how to do so, which from my memories starts around age 2 or 3. As an imaginary friend, I can remember Ariel the strongest accompanying me, but I also liked Peter Pan and Barnie from my memory. 

I was born to a single mother who was 16 when I was born. My mother also struggled with her own substance use disorder and traumas. This isn’t used to exactly weaponize my mother, but the way I was raised is important in the topic of fictoromanticism for me, specifically. I spent most of my childhood by myself or surrounded by children I struggled to get along with, so I didn’t have many friends. Looking back on it, because I was raised in an environment involving substance abuse, the other children around me were also battling a lot of tough childhoods and it was definitely why I was bullied so much by them. 

From early childhood I was always friendly in nature. I like to joke around and be silly. I was always extremely imaginative, creative, and I had a lot of dreams. When I was alone with my mother and her romantic partners, I often hid in my room and watched tv and played with my toys, making stories as I did it. That’s a very normal child thing, but because I was alone, bored, and scared so often, the characters did become my first “friends,” and my introduction into how I understood the social world as a kid. 

My mother fought with her boyfriends a lot and sometimes this involved issues surrounding domestic abuse and victimization. There was a lot of yelling, drinking, fighting, drugs, crying, and so forth. That’s not to say there was nothing good about my childhood. The characters are definitely a good thing, and I had fun a lot with random kids that were nice to me along the way and when I had the chance to do once in a lifetime things, such as going to DISNEY WORLD in 2009!!!

It’s complicated for me to explain my experiences with CSA and child abuse/neglect. For much of my childhood, I was a golden child to the adults around me in a way. I was praised for being smart, being talented at art and singing, funny, and tough. I was also a cute kid. I remember adults, particularly adult men, telling me how beautiful I was and that I was “special” to them. I’m unsure with how much details I’m comfortable sharing about these matters, but I’m using this book as a journal somehow, and I’m going to note to readers that this may be very sensitive content for anyone who has been a victim to childhood sexual abuse or childhood abuse and trauma especially. Again, this will be a very vulnerable story, but I think it’s important to mention these details because they played a crucial part in my fictosexuality. 

As a child, even though the adults praised me, there were extra details behind that. I don’t remember my young childhood well, but I remember a very painful feeling of needing to be safe. I didn’t feel safe under my circumstances, especially emotionally. The characters sort of acted as heroes. When the bad wasn’t happening, I had them. Watching the same movie over and over, or drawing them all the time, and then pretending that they were there to talk to me, comfort me, and be my protector. Even when things were hard to cope with, they were supportive and reminded me that somehow there was always some force that was watching my back. Sort of religious, right? 

I’ve covered a lot of serious topics and will still bring them up, but I want to change courses and do a log of the characters I remember from this time and how they impacted my life! Positive and even not so much. These might also be more vague descriptions because of how hazy some memories are:

-

Elmo, Woody from Toy Story, Barnie, and Dora the Explorer:

Characters like Elmo, Woody, Dora, and Barnie were more of what I consider a “friend/pet adjacent” kind of fictional other where there wasn’t much romantic attraction, with a slight acception for Woody (I know there’s others who know this vision, please don’t judge my two-to-three year old brain.) I usually had a lot of merchandise of these characters but they weren’t special beyond that.

Elmo is of my first memories because Sesame Street is popular with toddlers, of course. A pretty basic childhood character interest, but I remember collecting a lot of his toys and finding him adorable. I also dressed up as Elmo for Halloween when I was 2 years old and attempting to imitate.

I remember having a Woody doll that I got from the old Disney store that used to be in the mall in Portland. I carried this thing around with me everywhere and I’d stick his nose in a lot of food XD. I also do recall having a tiny crush on him, or even a kinship of sorts, but I think even in my child mind I knew that him being a toy was too much of a stretch for me (I ended up breaking this logic many times, though). I also remember owning Toy Story 2 but not the first one for some reason, so I saw the second one more often. I also remember liking Jessie quite a lot, as well.

I loved Dora the Explorer! I’ve been a lifelong elementary Spanish learner, lol, and so Dora was the beginning of that. I remember impressing adults because I remembered a lot of Spanish from Dora and I lived in a very white Maine. Dora wasn’t really a crush at all, but I pretended to be friends with her and I had a lot of Dora merchandise. I would get into how female characters influenced my bisexuality, but I think the next contenders are more important to mention for this. I also remember really wanting to watch Go! Diego Go! And have more merchandise from that franchise but I was told I couldn’t because we didn’t have cable and it was a “boys” interest.

Barnie was mostly an obsession because I watched a lot of the show. Cue the cursed Barnie jokes. I also remember there being a specific Barnie tv special, where the doll at the beginning was very creepy to me for some reason, and I was deathly terrified of the damn dvd. These characters were important for me to bring up because while they weren’t romantic in nature, they helped me care about specific characters and use them as friends even if they weren’t the primary providers in this journey.

Ariel<3

To explain the impact The Little Mermaid has had on my brain development is very complex. I grew up singing a lot with my mother, and Disney was the hot spot for fun songs to practice, pretty girls to admire, and beautiful art to look at. I liked most of the Disney princesses, but Ariel was my girl. Even from a young age I thought she was beautiful and a part of me even wanted to mimic her form of femininity, as patriarchal as it certainly was. It was more than admiration, though, because I remember garnering strong feelings of love for her. I believe my Ariel fixation started when I was as young as 2 years old and continued until some childhood (maybe 7 or so).

As a child between 2 to 6 years old, I had no idea that being a lesbian or bisexual was a thing or an option. I knew I loved her, though. I’d imagine scenarios of us holding hands, spending time talking and having fun, and because I experienced inappropriate stuff as a kid, I did imagine inappropriate content with Ariel, too. I only find this important to mention because there’s also the added confusion that bisexuality has played in being fictosexual. She’s the first character I can remember being “in love” with. I think some family members even knew, but my mother and some others were in denial about my attraction to Ariel and women in general, at the time.

It was hard for me to keep how much I loved her a secret, but I played it off like she was just a girl I admired. A “sisterly” bond to those too ignorant to understand. It wasn’t so bad, though, because having a Disney Princess interest was considered normal for little girls and so I could have as much merchandise as I pleased, dress up as her, and draw her. It was a good thing those around me were oblivious, honestly.

Barbie, Jack Skellington

Barbie was similar! The recent Barbie movie was so special to me actually, because I resonated with the movie's message about how this popular character influenced young girls perception of femininity and there place in the world. I’m a thin white woman and was small framed in childhood, so I’ll start on record that Barbie was easy for me to relate to and feel empowered from. But as a girl in society, in general, the idea of Barbie made me feel like I could do anything, though I know the reality of this now. 

Barbie wasn’t as much of a romantic interest, but definitely a character I admired! I watched Barbie the Nutcracker, Fairytopia, Rapunzel, and Mermaidia over and over. I had a lot of second hand Barbies, some new ones, and watched a lot of the movies as they’d release in the 2000s-very early 2010s. I figured she was worth a mention. 

Jack Skellington is important! Not exactly a character I pretended to have relationship with, but I definitely held a kinship to Jack Skellington and The Nightmare Before Christmas paved a special interest for me regarding Tim Burton movies, which is relevant for the next mention (before the “Live, Laugh, Love of Halloween” started and I found out Tim Burton is racist). I watched this movie NIGHTLY in the middle of summer in Florida. 

Kinship is a term I’ll bring up often, so I’ll define it as "the feeling that a fictional character is similar to you, or that you aspire to be more similar to them because of how much you admire them."

Victor and Emily

I wanted to mention these two, because after Nightmare (my shortened jargon for The Nightmare Before Christmas) became my fixation at five-to-six years old, I started being introduced to other Tim Burton movies by my legal father who also liked eerie and creepy media. When I watched Corpse Bride, I fell in love with its darkly inclined aesthetics and I also really liked the two main protagonists a lot. Sometimes I'd pretend as if I was the characters, both of them but more often Emily because I was a “girl,” practicing wedding vows.

Even though this movie was riddled with patriarchal ideals about marriage, I found both characters endearing and attractive, but I was plagued by the fact that Emily is uh. A dead girl, and I knew at heart I was definitely not a necrophiliac, and dealing with bisexuality was already making me feel ashamed of myself, but I liked her personality and what her character represented. A lot of the women I’ve been attracted to have been the “bleeding heart” types with a similar physical appearance.

Victor was interesting because, spoilers, between the ages of 13 and 16 I identified as trans-masc. So when I was young, Victor was attractive, yes, but during these make believe games I’d play I’d feel a sense of gender euphoria from pretending to be a boy. Victor’s gender expression and version of masculinity (*cough cough*emo boy*cough cough*) resonated with me and would influence my gender development later. I think pretending to be him was also an excuse for me to pretend to be with Emily so that I wasn’t “technically” liking a woman, because it was still heterosexual- coded.

So I suppose I should mention that there’s a difference between a fictional other that’s a genuine lover and one that’s more of a hyperfixation of sorts and used in friendship contexts. For me, I also have a subcategory of characters I had a slight romantic interest in, but the “relationship” wasn’t long or impactful enough to be considered to count amongst the particular “canon” of my romantic history.  In a lot of fictoromantic communities, we consider this having “romantic” and “platonic” fictional other’s (also abbreviated to “f/o”). I will highlight the “lovers” with light pink, always, just so there’s no confusion about who is more important to pay attention to than others.

Concluding thoughts: 

I thank anyone who has stuck through this chapter and wishes to continue reading, because I promise this will get a lot more interesting. The early fictional others aren’t as juicy as more recent ones, but I consider Ariel and the Tim Burton characters in particular important to remember when reading this book because, just like real life, the people we love throughout our lives even from our earliest days shape who we are. I’m challenging readers to imagine these characters as real people in my perspective. Even from a young childhood I was incredibly observant about my favorite characters' personalities because they were sort of similar to me, while also being their own special person. I knew how these characters would talk to me because I would try to figure out everything about them, from mannerisms, their past, their likes and dislikes, and mind you these were my goals as a little kid. As I grew older this inept need to empathize with fictional characters became more impactful because the character’s experiences also became more nuanced and mature. Many of these early characters are from children’s cartoons and children were the target audience, while my more modern fictional partners are from animes with questionable content that are more appropriate for teens and older.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this story! I hope it's an educating and enlightening read.

[jade-island-lives]

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Original Work, Tales of Merlia Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Delilah Mathers, Merlin Windsplash, Pepper Whippertail, Torrent Lazuli, Alana Winters, Matthew Quince, Miss Elizabeth Warner, Samantha Warner, Lucy Windsplash, Nemo Mathers, Aunt Mathers, Lois Mathers, Kilorn Mathers, Bob Whippertail, Carla Windsplash, Shell the Relentless, Umira the Pirate Queen, Sunshine the Siren, Pearly the Scholar, Coral the Strange, Soot the Mad Scientist, Shadowtail Additional Tags: mermaid, Fantasy, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Sirens, Magic, Action/Adventure, Found Family, Developing Friendships, Pining, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Baggage, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Abusive Parents, Verbal Abuse, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Mental Health Issues, Healing, Recovery, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Blood and Injury, Past Character Death, Past Torture, Past Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Tags Are Hard Series: Part 1 of Tales of Merlia Summary:

Delilah Mathers is 13 years old and already, her life is a mess.

She lives with her Aunt Mathers in the small little town of Crabshore, Oregon, a small tourist town by the sea. But she doesn’t go to school, doesn’t play with other kids, doesn’t go to the beach, doesn’t do anything other than chores, and stays at home.

Living with an abusive family member who somehow blames you for the death of your parents tends to do that.

But when Delilah gets sick and hospitalized, her whole world turns upside down. Anything she thought she knew about her parents, about her aunt, about everything was wrong. And the biggest thing is...she is a mermaid.

She is whisked away to live in Griffinswing, England with two other children: Merlin and Pepper. They are just like her and finally begin to enjoy a wonderful life with a new family until something tragic and life-threatening happens, forcing Delilah and her new friends to go where they have never gone before, a place where more secrets hide than they ever could have imagined and fears run deep.

Into the Shadows of the Abyss

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Youre north of Heaven maybe somewhere west of Hell

You’re north of Heaven, maybe somewhere west of Hell https://ift.tt/kY5XLcP by Grizlie Dean led a joyful and fulfilled life. Well, joyful yes with no doubt. Fulfilled, hum, not so much, although that was the usual line he ran on his friends and family when questioned. So there was definitely something missing for him to achieve completeness. He was not really looking for it, more a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, since usually when he went after something it ended up blowing in his face. So he was totally unprepared to be roughly pulled out of that placid state of existence by what should have been a no-strings-attached night of sex that became so much more in a few hours. Only problem was there was no safety net when he landed. Words: 2267, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 2 of Tear me to pieces, skin to bone Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M, M/M Characters: Bobby Singer (Supernatural), Benny Lafitte, Jody Mills, Claire Novak, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Donna Hanscum, Sam Winchester, Sarah Blake (Supernatural), Mary Winchester, John Winchester Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Angst, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Child Abandonment, Drunk Driving, Minor Injuries, Fist Fights, Self-Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Slow Build, Porn With Plot, Canonical Character Death via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/onpKywL March 29, 2024 at 07:15PM

[ao3feed-izch]

All I ever wanted was your approval

by Aneko_Kenna

I remember it clearly, like it was yesterday. I was ten years old, tears streaming down my face as I watched him abandon me in that vast, empty mansion. There were no warnings-it just happened. I wanted to cry out, "Papa, please don't leave me!" but my brother, Riku, held me back. The heavy rain blurred my vision, and I collapsed onto the cold, wet ground.

Just when I thought heroes were supposed to be good people, the hero I trusted with my life walked away without a second glance. He had shown me that heroes could be kind, but he left me shattered and alone. As I cried out, begging him to stay, he didn't even look back.

I wondered, "Did I do something wrong? Why did he leave after everything we went through? Was he tired of me? Was I too expressive, too happy?"

From that moment on, I hid my face from the world. When I ventured out, it was always with a hood and a face mask, making me unrecognizable. Who would've thought that after isolating myself for so long, I would be thrust into a fate that held the balance not only of Japan but of the entire world?

Words: 1637, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of FANDOM WORK

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Original Characters, Pro Heroes (My Hero Academia), Class 1-B (My Hero Academia), Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Eri (My Hero Academia), League of Villains (My Hero Academia), Past One For All Users (My Hero Academia), Hero Public Safety Commission (My Hero Academia)

Relationships: Todoroki Shouto/Yaoyorozu Momo, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, Takami Keigo | Hawks/Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Ancestors, Quirks (My Hero Academia), Japanese Culture, Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Original Character Has a Quirk (My Hero Academia), Major Original Character(s), Characters Are Pro Heroes (My Hero Academia), Family Drama, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Father-Daughter Relationship, non-biological father, Panic Attacks, Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Child Abandonment, Abandonment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rain, Water Quirk (My Hero Academia), Healing Quirk (My Hero Academia), Teleportation Quirk (My Hero Academia), chains quirk, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Mentor Takami Keigo | Hawks, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead | Dadzawa, Complicated Relationships, Past Relationship(s), Betrayal, Forbidden Love, Protective Takami Keigo | Hawks, Soft Takami Keigo | Hawks, Childhood Trauma, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Flashbacks

source: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57492541

[dokjaslibrary]

episode 6. 献一株桔梗予溺水的鬼 by 江流

[artwork by Plastic_Tree from Taiwan physical volume via 台灣威向, 威向文化]

献一株桔梗予溺水的鬼 / Offering a Bouquet of Bellflowers to the Ghost of a Drowned Man / Platycodon and Ghost by 江流

34 chapters + 1 extra (3 parts)

Published on 长佩文学 from 2017-2019

✦ — GENRE(S)

Danmei, slice of life, modern

✦ — SUMMARY

After the suicide of a beloved writer, Wang Ze, a university student and forest ranger cross paths. Together, they face the complexities of mental health and what is worth staying alive for.

✦ — WARNINGS

Depression, suicide/attempted suicide, suicide ideation, child abuse (physical and sexual), torture, drugging, incest

✦ — LINKS

Read the raws for free on Changpei.

There’s no official English translation. A fan translation is available courtesy of chaikat, whom I want to express my deep gratitude for approaching the topics of depression and suicide with sensitivity.

RATING: S

Spoilers ahead. See under the cut for a (very) in-depth discussion of the text!

There are some stories you pick up, knowing you'll be torn asunder by the end. This raw and meaningful novel is on that list. Offering a Bouquet of Bellflowers to the Ghost of a Drowned Man is one of the most thorough and accurate depictions of depression and suicide that I read to date, an impressive feat for only 35 chapters.

I rarely read written works with sections like this, but I liked how fragmented and refreshing it felt. The frequent breaks act as speed bumps for the reader to proceed at an appropriate pace. Without this structure, I would’ve breezed through the story as I tend to do. This short novel has much to say, so please take your time!

The honest weight of the text is equally devastating as it is comforting. Although depression is widespread, there are endless misconceptions about it. Depression is indiscriminate, affecting anyone regardless of age, class, gender, etc. Even if someone appears fine, can create art that inspires others, or is successful and wealthy, their condition should be taken seriously. Just because it’s a common, treatable disorder doesn’t mean it’s less destructive or life-threatening than other health issues.

The story acknowledges that depression manifests differently for everyone and highlights some “socially unacceptable” symptoms. Dropping out of school, harboring “unproductive” interests, damaging relationships, forgetting to eat, not cleaning your own space, and struggling with basic hygiene are not the result of laziness or intentional neglect. This is a disorder for a reason. It’s debilitating. And it can reach a severity where someone ends their own life.

Society insists that suicide is “selfish” and “cowardly.” I love how Bellflowers fights the stigma by treating this subject with tenderness and complexity. Suicide is a tragedy, as all deaths are. It shouldn't be a damning crime. Regardless of personal opinion, holding compassion toward those who passed is crucial. They deserve to be treated with warmth, understanding, and dignity—even in death—rather than scorn and shame.

A pang of guilt accompanies the grief after a loved one dies by suicide. Such a loss may trigger suicidal thoughts, completely numb the pain, or remain dormant in an emotional vacuum until much later. Yet the questions of “What more could I have done? What could I have done better to prevent this?” haunt everyone the same.

Living with the gut-wrenching remorse may be inevitable, but self-forgiveness prevents it from paralyzing you into hopelessness. The forest ranger walked a path that would only lead his grief and guilt to snowball out of control, but after meeting Wang Ze, his mindset shifts to uplifting others where and when he can. The harshest truth is that there’s only so much you can do. The line between stopping someone from dying and finding a reason to live can actually be a wide gap. The forest ranger's growth in this regard touched me deeply because this is not implying that a person isn’t worth saving after a certain point. Sometimes we did the best we could at the time. Sometimes it wasn't enough. I admired his declaration that even if he couldn't do more, that would be ok too. Acknowledging this without letting it consume you whole is the real challenge.

One person may not be able to save everyone, but it’s possible to help someone remain afloat. Love goes so, so far. It can’t magically “fix” the broken pieces. It certainly won’t “cure” depression and suicidal ideation. Still, genuine human connection eases the pain of living. A support system can convince someone that waking up to another day is possible because there’s a salvation in knowing someone and letting yourself be known. As Tim Kreider puts it in “I Know What You Think of Me,” “if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

Being so vulnerable is terrifying, especially for those with dark traumas who are used to hiding behind a façade for self-protection. My heart was in tatters seeing the writer, who desperately wanted to be loved for who he was, attempt to make himself visible. The original draft of his final novel was an effort to bare his soul and a silent plea for acceptance. That desire to share your truth paired with the overwhelming fear that a trusted person will turn you away reminded me of the following lines from “The Torn-Up Road” (2000) by Richard Siken:

I want to tell you this story without having to confess anything, without having to say that I ran out into the street to prove something, that he didn't love me, that I wanted to be possessed, thrown over, that I wanted to have the wounds nailed shut.

Hesitant to directly reveal his past, the writer puts it in novel form along with the hope that his editor will say this life can still have a happy ending. An uneasy rejection sends the writer over the edge, and we never learn his name. Till the end, no one truly knew him.

In contrast, Wang Ze and the forest ranger reveal the ugliest parts of themselves and grow closer. As they see the other’s strengths and gentle heart, I couldn’t help but think, “What a relief it would be if you saw yourself through the eyes of a person who understood you.” Even for a split second, you can wonder, “Maybe I’m not as terrible as I thought.” Loving yourself and believing you have a future worth seeing aren't affirmations that can be internalized overnight. But if someone is by your side, loving even “this” version of you… perhaps everything isn’t as daunting.

Part of the novel’s charm is that 江流 doesn’t try to solve questions that carry too much nuance to have an answer or make uncertain promises. These snippets from “I am not always very attached to being alive” by Anna Borges put it better than I can:

But speaking freely need not solely carry the weight of prevention. It can simply be about the comfort of social connectedness and knowing you’re not alone. Like Beeson told me, the big picture is not as much about preventing suicide as it is about planning life and fostering social connectedness ��� which, in and of themselves, are major preventative factors.

Perhaps what I’m looking for isn’t land at all, but other people out here with me. Trying, and treading, and learning to live in the water.

We simply sit with a gentle reminder of some axioms: Living is hard, but you are important. Your struggles and pain are valid. You are worthy of love and acceptance. You are not alone. It is so good to have you here. I hope you continue to stay.

[ao3feed-peterstiles]

[Podfic of] Hook Yarn Sinker

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/55204780 by LeadingLady3 [Podfic Version] "Stiles is happy with his store, his hobbies, his friends. Peter's just trying to figure out how to raise his nieces and nephew without fucking them up too badly. Paths cross." Words: 55, Chapters: 5/23, Language: English Series: Part 1 of [Podfic of] Naighty Hookers (Swathed in Wool) Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale, Laura Hale, Derek Hale, Cora Hale, Erica Reyes, Vernon Boyd, Allison Argent, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Isaac Lahey, Kira Yukimura, Paige (Teen Wolf) Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes, Scott McCall/Kira Yukimura, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Aged-Up Character(s), Kid Fic, Family, Found Family, Crochet, Knitting, Crafts, silly fic, happy fic, Fluffy fic, Author is way outside comfort zone, reader is right inside hers, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Parenting, Friendship, Friends as Family, Grieving, Mentions of past child abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Bullying, Stiles is kidnip, which is catnip for kids, Pied Piper Stiles Stilinski, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Growing Up, How to Adult in Ten Easy Steps, Adulting is hard, Curtain Fic, Coma, Books, Literature, Tattoos, Tattooed Stiles Stilinski, Mentions of Suicide, Canonical Character Death, Claudia Stilinski Warning, Mother-Son Relationship, Mental Health Issues, adventures in babysitting, quarter life crisis, Father-Son Relationship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Ableist Language, From a Child, In a single instance, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/55204780

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

So sorry that you have to have a body

by Anonymous

Tim is 5’1, 13 years old and weighs 80 pounds. He is clinically underweight, short for his age and stubborn. Tim has slight control issues, is afraid of abandonment and determined to stop Batman from being suicidal.

--

Years down the line, Tim will be seventeen and on the run, will be 18 and a solid 110 pounds, will have a body fat percentage of less than 7% and he will rummage through his file. He is trying to update it to include his asplenia and the treatment for it. Nobody had asked about the large gash across his stomach. He will see a note in his file.

  Suspected eating disorder, (anorexia nervosa), recovered. 

Recovered, yeah.

 (Dick will discover the innocuous note two months later when Tim gets knocked out cold in a fight. He will stare at it, stare at his little brother, who’s bony wrists poke out in a way that seems unnatural. Will look at the weight and height and will think to himself that the Drakes had been tall people. When Tim wakes up, Dick is a mess, has been crying for a while and there are cookies on his nightstand. It’s a start.)

or: Tim's struggle with an eating disorder he hides until he doesn't

Words: 2734, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 3 of Eating Disorder? More like eatin' dis order

Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne

Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne

Additional Tags: Angst, Food Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Mental Health Issues, Eating Disorders, Anorexia, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Bad Parents Jack and Janet Drake, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, he's trying, statistics, Cuddle Pollen, Poison Ivy's Pheromones, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Tim Drake, Starvation, Mild Hurt/Comfort, as in, Little comfort, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake is Not Okay, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48039187

[jessicalynnhepner]

Chapter 1—Working With Child Abuse and Neglect Issues Part 1

Child abuse and neglect pose an increasingly recognized and serious threat to the nation's children. In the last 10 years the reported cases of abused and neglected children more than doubled, from 1.4 million in 1986 to more than 3 million in 1997; substance abuse was involved in more than 70 percent of the cases. A recent survey of State child welfare administrators found that parental substance abuse was a factor in at least 50 percent of substantiated cases of child abuse and neglect. Moreover, 80 percent reported that substance abuse and poverty were the two primary factors contributing to abuse and neglect (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services [DHHS], 1999).

Children whose parents abuse substances are almost three times more likely to be abused and four times more likely to be neglected than other children (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University [CASA], 1999). Substance abuse is a contributing factor to the abuse of at least one third of the children in the child welfare system (DHHS, 1999). It is estimated that each day five children die as a result of child abuse or neglect--up from three a day reported in 1994 (CASA, 1999; McCurdy and Daro, 1994). In reported cases, the most pervasive form of child maltreatment is neglect (60 percent), followed by physical abuse (25 percent), sexual abuse (13 percent), and emotional maltreatment (5 percent). More than 50 percent of the victims were 7 years old or younger; slightly more than half of victims were girls (Sedlak and Broadhurst, 1996).

Statistics will vary because of differences in criteria and methodology and because many cases of child maltreatment involve overlapping forms of abuse or neglect. (More details regarding the prevalence of child abuse and neglect are provided later in this chapter, along with specific definitions of what is meant by the terms "child abuse" and "neglect.") For the same reasons, it is difficult to determine if the incidence of child maltreatment is actually continuing to rise or not. However, researchers, counselors, and program administrators agree that the rise in substance abuse disorders as a factor in child abuse and neglect cases has severely complicated efforts by child welfare systems to protect children and rehabilitate families (CASA, 1999; DHHS, 1999).

Parents with substance abuse problems are less educated and less likely to be employed full time; they are much less likely than other parents to be married and much more likely to be involved in the welfare system (DHHS, 1999). However, these statistics may result from a population's reliance on public welfare systems; parents in higher socioeconomic classes can afford private systems where reporting is not mandated.

Many clients in substance abuse treatment have histories of child abuse or neglect that might affect their chances for recovery. There is accumulating research and clinical evidence that physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and neglect during childhood increase a person's risk of developing substance abuse disorders (DHHS, 1999). In addition, relapse and treatment complications may be more likely if issues related to maltreatment are not identified and treated (Brown, 1991; Rose, 1991; Young, 1995). The counselor might have more difficulty engaging clients with abuse histories, and these clients may have a variety of disabling comorbid conditions, such as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and dissociative disorders.

Given the presence of substance abuse in the majority of child abuse or neglect cases, alcohol and drug counselors may also have reason to suspect, or may discover, that clients are abusing or neglecting their own children. The children of substance-abusing parents will also face an increased risk of developing a substance abuse disorder themselves. A recent study confirms what has long been suspected, that children of alcoholics (whether or not they have been abused) have an altered brain chemistry that may make them more likely to become alcoholics themselves (Wand et al., 1998).

If the cycle of intergenerational substance abuse and child abuse and neglect is to be broken, counselors must address these issues. This is discussed in Chapter 5. Counselors will sometimes find it challenging to maintain the therapeutic alliance with clients that is central to successful treatment while meeting their legal obligations to report suspected or known maltreatment (see Chapter 6).

Go to: Substance Abuse and Child Abuse and Neglect Treatment providers have observed that a large proportion of their clients report being physically, emotionally, or sexually abused as children. This clinical knowledge is increasingly supported by research findings. Most of this research has focused on one of two questions: Are people with substance abuse disorders more likely to have been abused or neglected as children than are people without substance abuse disorders? Are those who report a history of childhood abuse or neglect more likely than their peers to have a substance abuse disorder? Specific answers to these questions depend to some extent on gender, and therefore the literature for men and women should be examined separately. Because most of the available information in this area focuses on childhood sexual and physical abuse, this TIP primarily addresses these two forms of maltreatment. As noted above, however, neglect is the most prevalent type of child maltreatment, and witnessing domestic violence is also a common (and potentially damaging) form of childhood trauma. (See TIP 25, Substance Abuse Treatment and Domestic Violence [CSAT, 1997b] for more information on how to deal with this significant problem.) Rates Among Adolescent Girls and WomenA review of several studies found that women who abuse alcohol reported higher rates of childhood sexual and physical abuse than their peers without such disorders (Langeland and Hartgers, 1998). The likelihood of substance abuse disorders was directly related to the severity of childhood abuse as well. A more exhaustive literature review found that women with substance abuse disorders were nearly two times more likely than women in the general population to report childhood sexual abuse. These women were also more likely to have experienced physical abuse (Simpson and Miller, in press).Miller and her colleagues found that 70 percent of women in treatment for alcohol use disorders reported some form of childhood sexual abuse, while only 35 percent of the women in the general population did the same (Miller et al., 1993). Twelve percent of the women with alcohol use disorders did not suffer any form of sexual or physical abuse, compared with 41 percent of the control sample. The study concluded that parental alcoholism and child abuse were both independent risk factors for problematic drinking among adults, suggesting that childhood abuse itself contributes uniquely to the genesis of substance abuse disorders.A 1995 literature review reveals a link between childhood sexual abuse and substance abuse (Polusny and Follette, 1995). In community samples, the authors found that the lifetime diagnosis rate of substance abuse disorders was 14 to 31 percent among women who had been sexually abused and 3 to 12 percent among women who had not been abused. In clinical samples, the rate of lifetime substance abuse diagnoses among sexual abuse survivors ranged from 21 to 57 percent, compared with a range of 2 to 27 percent for women without such histories. Another representative study of young adults found that 43.5 percent of the women who had been sexually abused as children met diagnostic criteria for an alcohol abuse disorder, while the criteria were met by only 8 percent of those who had not been sexually abused (Silverman et al., 1996).The available research does indicate that women with substance abuse disorders are more likely than other women to report childhood abuse and women with childhood abuse histories are more likely than other women to have substance abuse disorders. Despite these findings, it is unclear to what extent the relationship between childhood abuse and the development of substance abuse is causal. Genetics, for example, might account for the association--child abuse might simply be incidental to the process in which the genetic

propensity for drinking is passed from parent to child. Childhood stress from sources other than abuse and neglect might also contribute to substance abuse among adults (Malinosky-Rummell and Hansen, 1993). However, even when parental history of alcohol problems and measures of childhood stress are statistically controlled, childhood sexual and physical abuse still seem to contribute significantly to the alcohol-related problems of women (Bennett and Kemper, 1994; Miller et al., 1993). Rates Among Adolescent Boys and MenThere are fewer studies of child abuse among boys and men with substance abuse disorders, and findings are less consistent than those generated for girls and women. One group of researchers believes that data are insufficient to determine (1) whether men with alcohol abuse disorders are more likely than their peers to have suffered childhood abuse, or (2) whether men with childhood abuse histories are more likely than other men to have alcohol abuse disorders (Langeland and Hartgers, 1998).Simpson and Miller found 27 studies that addressed the issue of childhood abuse and neglect among men with substance abuse disorders (Simpson and Miller, in press). Only 10 of these studies found childhood sexual abuse rates higher than the national average of 16 percent (Finkelhor et al., 1990), and only six of these studies found rates above 10 percent. Most studies reveal that men with substance abuse disorders actually suffered less sexual abuse than their peers; however, these men did report unusually high rates of childhood physical abuse.The few prospective studies of childhood abuse among men suggest that abuse does increase the risk of alcohol abuse (Simpson and Miller, in press). Men who report childhood abuse also may be more likely to have a substance abuse disorder, but this conclusion is not certain. Societal expectations of self-reliance and fear of homosexual stigmatization may prevent these men from disclosing childhood sexual abuse (Briere et al., 1988). Current trends, however, suggest that men are becoming more willing to disclose histories of sexual abuse. Although the incidence of abuse has remained stable for women, far more men are reporting sexual abuse than have done so in the past (Simpson and Miller, in press). Men with substance abuse disorders are also reporting more childhood physical abuse. Current study techniques simply may be more sensitive for sexual abuse among men, but further study is needed.Most studies that have examined the rates of substance abuse among men with child abuse histories have found elevated rates of substance abuse disorders (Simpson and Miller, in press). One important exception to this pattern is a study that examined the rates of arrest for alcohol- and drug-related offenses among young adults with and without documented histories of childhood abuse or neglect (Ireland and Widom, 1994). This study found no relationship between a history of childhood abuse and neglect and substance abuse problems among men. It should be mentioned, however, that Ireland and Widom did not assess whether the study participants experienced child abuse or neglect that was not officially reported. Some of those who were classified as not having been abused or neglected may have experienced such maltreatment, and the results of this study are therefore difficult to interpret.Most of the available literature indicates that men with childhood abuse histories are more likely to have substance abuse disorders than men without childhood abuse histories (Simpson and Miller, in press). The rates of childhood physical abuse appear to be higher among men with substance abuse disorders than among men from the general population. However, men with substance abuse disorders do not report more childhood sexual abuse than other men. Holmes and his colleagues

uncovered several factors that contribute to the reluctance of men to report sexual abuse (Holmes et al., 1997). The shame, homosexual stigmatization, and perceptions of weakness associated with disclosure are perceived by many men to be more burdensome than the secret of abuse. Also, men are prone to minimize the negative effects that childhood sexual abuse may have, though men who were sexually abused as children are at greater risk than their nonabused peers for later psychological and emotional difficulties. Holmes and colleagues found that when men disclose a history of child abuse to their mental health counselors, its importance is often dismissed. The researchers concluded that the childhood sexual abuse of males is viewed with far less gravity then the childhood abuse of girls and women (Holmes and Slap, 1998; Holmes et al., 1997).https://whateveryparentshouldknowaboutcps.blogspot.com/2020/07/chapter-1working-with-child-abuse-and.html

[jade-island-lives]

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Original Work, Tales of Merlia Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Delilah Mathers, Merlin Windsplash, Pepper Whippertail, Torrent Lazuli, Alana Winters, Matthew Quince, Miss Elizabeth Warner, Samantha Warner, Lucy Windsplash, Nemo Mathers, Aunt Mathers, Lois Mathers, Kilorn Mathers, Bob Whippertail, Carla Windsplash, Shell the Relentless, Umira the Pirate Queen, Sunshine the Siren, Pearly the Scholar, Coral the Strange, Soot the Mad Scientist, Shadowtail Additional Tags: mermaid, Fantasy, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Sirens, Magic, Action/Adventure, Found Family, Developing Friendships, Pining, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Baggage, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Abusive Parents, Verbal Abuse, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Mental Health Issues, Healing, Recovery, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Blood and Injury, Past Character Death, Past Torture, Past Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Tags Are Hard Series: Part 1 of Tales of Merlia Summary:

Delilah Mathers is 13 years old and already, her life is a mess.

She lives with her Aunt Mathers in the small little town of Crabshore, Oregon, a small tourist town by the sea. But she doesn’t go to school, doesn’t play with other kids, doesn’t go to the beach, doesn’t do anything other than chores, and stays at home.

Living with an abusive family member who somehow blames you for the death of your parents tends to do that.

But when Delilah gets sick and hospitalized, her whole world turns upside down. Anything she thought she knew about her parents, about her aunt, about everything was wrong. And the biggest thing is...she is a mermaid.

She is whisked away to live in Griffinswing, England with two other children: Merlin and Pepper. They are just like her and finally begin to enjoy a wonderful life with a new family until something tragic and life-threatening happens, forcing Delilah and her new friends to go where they have never gone before, a place where more secrets hide than they ever could have imagined and fears run deep.

Into the Shadows of the Abyss

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Make Me Feel That I'm Alive Safe and Loved

Make Me Feel That I'm Alive, Safe and Loved https://ift.tt/vEDJU0N by serragracewn Dean Winchester, an omega, struggles with deep-seated self-worth issues stemming from childhood trauma and a family that never valued him. His best friend Castiel Novak, an alpha, has always been by his side, secretly harboring feelings for him. One rainy night, Dean’s loneliness and pain drive him to a breaking point. Cas finds him and finally confesses his love, taking on the role of protector and healer for his omega. As Dean slowly begins to heal with Cas's care and affection, they navigate the rocky path toward recovery and mutual love. Words: 4045, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 6 of Omega Verse Hurt/Comfort Fics Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Omega Verse, Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha Castiel (Supernatural), Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Broken Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has Issues, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Has Mommy Issues, Dean Winchester Has Daddy Issues, Dean Winchester Has Trust Issues, Childhood Trauma, Family Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Neglected Dean Winchester, Abused Dean Winchester, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Dean Winchester is Not Okay, Weak Dean Winchester, Vulnerable Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Caring Castiel (Supernatural), Comforting Castiel (Supernatural), Worried Castiel (Supernatural), Possessive Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Saves Dean Winchester, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Castiel Comforts Dean Winchester, Caretaker Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel to the Rescue (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Self-Hating Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Bad at Self-Care, Dean Winchester Learns Self-Love, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Loved, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Castiel Deserves to be Happy (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester Get the Ending They Deserve, Loving Castiel (Supernatural), Loving Dean Winchester, Sweet Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sweet Dean Winchester, Sweet Castiel (Supernatural), Supportive Castiel (Supernatural), Overprotective Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parents John Winchester and Mary Winchester, Bad Sibling Sam Winchester, Guilty Sam Winchester, Guilty Mary Winchester, Lonely Dean Winchester, Heartbroken Dean Winchester, Friends to Lovers, Guilty John Winchester via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/KWose25 September 18, 2024 at 12:10AM