#I hate human emotions and brain until I don’t

[theotherbuckley]

Tommy’s dad dies on a Monday.

He checks his emails on a Wednesday. There’s an email from his aunt. It’s only a few sentences. She was always very succinct and to the point.

His dad is dead.

It was a heart attack.

Bastard didn’t even suffer. 

He stares at his laptop screen until the words start to blur together. For an hour, he just sits there, looking at his computer but not really seeing anything at all. His coffee is long since cold. He never even took a sip. 

His mind feels empty, like there’s this fog that’s settled inside, clouding over his thoughts. He’s stuck. His brain doesn’t know how to process this, and neither does his body.

So he stays frozen. Just staring.

He doesn’t notice the time until he feels large arms wrap around him from behind.

“Tommy?” Evan asks. It doesn’t sound like the first time he’s spoken.

“I—“ The words are stuck in his throat. 

Tommy turns around from his chair, blinking a few times, until he manages to say, “My dad died.”

“Are you okay?”

That’s all it takes for Tommy to break.

He opens his mouth, closes. Shakes his head. 

And he just—

Cries.

Full body-wracking sobs overcome his body as he slumps into Evan’s open arms. He shakes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he burrows his face into his boyfriend’s neck. He’s getting snot and tears all over Evan’s shirt but his boyfriend doesn’t complain, just squeezes him tighter as he continues to be overwhelmed by his emotions.

He doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He just can’t seem to stop. 

He cries and trembles in Evan’s arms until he’s run out of tears left to shed. Evan murmurs sweet nothings into his ear, holding him tight and never letting go. 

“I’ve got you. I'm here,” Evan whispers in his ear. 

He feels like he’s run a marathon by the time he’s calmed down enough to pull back from Evan. His hands shake as he wipes the tears from his eyes, Evan’s own warm hands coming to hold his. 

“I don’t— I don’t even know why I’m cry—crying,” Tommy hiccups. He’s sure he must look a mess, red-faced and covered in tears.

Evan gives me a soft look, a small comforting smile on his face as he presses a kiss to Tommy’s forehead.

“You lost your dad. You’re allowed to cry,” Evan says kindly.

Tommy just shakes his head. “But he wasn’t— he wasn’t good.” He has an awful, vile human who never gave two shits about him. Only cared about him being a man, enlisting, stepping up. He doesn't understand why his chest still aches like his loss matters. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Evan wraps his arms around Tommy. He’s practically sitting on him, but Tommy doesn’t mind. Not when it’s Evan.

“He— He was a big part of your life, Tommy,” Evan says, running his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “And now he’s not. You’re allowed to be upset.”

Tommy just nods, collapsing back into Evan, who rubs gentle circles on his back in comfort, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He lets his boyfriend soothe his pain with his touch. He wishes it didn't hurt in the first place. Still doesn't understand why it does. He hated that piece of shit.

He's glad he's dead.

He hiccups as another tear makes it's way down his cheek. Evan squeezes tighter.

“Is there a funeral?” Evan asks softly.

Tommy almost laughs. “There’s no one who cares enough to give him one. He doesn’t even deserve one.”

“But you do,” Evan says sincerely.

That gets Tommy to look up, eyebrows raised in question.

“You deserve to have the closure,” Evan continues. “It’s a lot better than trying to pretend you’re alright when you're not. Trust me.”

“You lost someone?” Tommy asks. Evan’s never talked about it, but maybe—

“No, no. I just know what it feels like to— to bottle your emotions up when it comes to the people who are supposed to love you.”

“I’ll speak to my aunt about a funeral,” Tommy says. Evan gives him a soft smile and a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling him close again, Tommy wasting no time to burrow into the corner of Buck’s neck, soaking up the comfort of his boyfriend.

“I love you,” he murmurs into his shoulder.

“I love you,” Evan repeats back. 

[theemporium]

[1.7k] travelling can be stressful, but it's a little easier when your swiss grizzly bear boyfriend is by your side.

.

It was stupid. 

You were fully aware it’s stupid. People liked to remind you how stupid they found it. It was something so, so stupid and being so painfully aware just made it worse. Because logic didn’t work, despite what countless people tried to tell you. Their reassurances and rationality didn’t help the way your brain spiralled until it could latch on to every single possible thing that could go wrong.

And you knew, nine times out of ten, nothing would happen. In fact, you could count on one hand the times your spirals had played out and became a reality. But that didn’t stop you having the spirals, and it didn’t stop the way your brain processed everything. 

Unfortunately, even your own common sense lacked in the battle between your brain and the anxiety travelling brought you. 

It was something you were mostly mocked for and, truthfully, you could understand their perspectives. It did sound silly when you tried to explain to your coworker the fact you couldn’t sleep the night before a journey, even if you had done it a million times before. It did sound dramatic when you tried to explain the fear a new destination brought you, regardless of how much research you did. But they didn’t get it, they don’t understand that voice in the back of your head whispering away. 

What if this is the one time something goes wrong? What if there is an accident?  What if something gets cancelled?  What if the traffic is worse than usual and you’re late? 

Random but burdening questions rattled in your head on the days coming up to a big trip. It’s why you hated booking them in the first place, because you knew exactly how you would react. And you told yourself it would be different, that you wouldn’t be so dramatic this time, that you could handle it.

And, without fail, you would find yourself sick to your stomach the morning of the trip, unable to stomach anything beyond a piece of toast (if you were lucky).

“Do you think you would know if I was replaced by an alien?” 

You blinked, taking a few moments to process the question before you turned to find Nico already looking at you, a contemplative look on his face. 

“What?” 

“Like, I’m sure you would notice but how long do you think it would take you to figure it out?” He questioned, his hand resting on your knee and lightly squeezing as he spoke. 

You stared at him for a few moments, trying to wrap your head around his question before you let out a breathless laugh. “What are you going on about?” 

“You looked lost in your thoughts,” he said, keeping his voice low so he couldn’t be heard above the music the taxi driver was playing through the radio. “I can see inside that pretty head of yours. You were spiralling.”

Your cheeks flushed in response. “I’m sorry—”

But Nico cut you off with another squeeze to your knee and a kind smile on his face. “You don’t have to apologise for it,” he reassured you. “I just wanted to help.”

Something in your chest tightened at his words. 

“For the record,” he continued, saving you once again when he could see emotions overwhelming your ability to speak. “I think it would take me five minutes tops if you got replaced by an alien.” 

You snorted. “What? Five minutes? There’s no way.”

“I know you, schatz,” Nico shrugged in response. “I would be able to tell.”

“Aliens could have crazy technology far too advanced for humans to comprehend,” you argued back and, for the first time since you went to bed last night, your brain was thinking about something other than long security lines, overpriced airport snacks and cancelled flights. “I could have been replaced by an alien months ago and you wouldn’t have realised.” 

“I would know,” Nico said, sounding far too sure of himself as he flashed you a smile. “I doubt aliens would know that you make a little sound whenever I–”

“Nico!” You hissed, your eyes widening as you glanced at the taxi driver with worry. 

And the fucker had the audacity to giggle in response as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, tugging you against his side as much as your seatbelt would allow. 

“I was just going to say when I tickle you,” he said with a shameless grin. “I don’t know what dirty thoughts are in your head, schatz.” 

You huffed, nuzzling further into his side. “You’re evil.”

“And you love me anyways.”

You rolled your eyes, but Nico knew from the smile on your face that he was right. 

You knew exactly what he was doing and, truthfully, you couldn’t even find it in yourself to call him out on it. Because it was working. Because he was Nico and he would deny it but he wouldn’t stop, even if you did call him out. Because there was a warm feeling in your stomach at the idea that someone—that Nico—cared enough to go out of his way to make you more comfortable.

Because he was Nico Hischier and he was just the kind of guy that went out of his way to make his loved ones more relaxed, to take on that captain role beyond the ice.

You barely got a chance to climb out of the taxi before Nico was already reaching for the bags in the boot of the car, pulling them out and only giving you the lightest ones he couldn’t physically carry whilst also holding your hand. You didn’t bother to hide your smile.

It was a feeling you didn’t have with many people. Or at all, usually. Especially when you were travelling. Your brain was working on overdrive, your eyes constantly looking around like some unexpected variable was going to throw your plans off. You couldn’t physically stop how wired and on edge travelling made you.

But something about travelling with Nico made it easy to just let your brain switch off. 

You were far too focused on ogling the way he casually carried more bags than one person should, carrying them with such ease that made your head spin a little. Far too focused on the way he guided you through the bustling airport, so sure of himself and so in control as he led you towards the front desk where you could check your luggage in and grab your boarding passes. 

You didn’t even get a chance to reach for your hand luggage before Nico took the smaller suitcase in his hand, his other hand on the small of your back as he led you towards security with no sight of the panicked rushing that you were used to. 

“Do you think aliens could make it past airport security?” 

You snorted. “Do not start this again.”

Nico’s smile widened in response. 

Security passed as quickly as one would expect for such a busy airport (meaning not very fast at all) but it was easy to not think too long about it when Nico was chatting your ear off with a million different topics. The possibility of missing your flight (despite being over three hours early) didn’t cross your mind as Nico scrolled through the endless TikToks Jack had sent him, or pictures Jonas had sent, already back home in Switzerland earlier than Nico.

“Here,” Nico called out to get your attention. 

You turned around, finding him reaching into his backpack before pulling out a bundle of fabric. You raised your brows in questioning but took it from him without second thought. It took you a few moments before you realised it was one of his hoodies. 

“You brought two hoodies?” You questioned. 

“No, one is for you,” he answered like it was obvious. “It’s your favourite one, too. I made sure not to pack it away in the big case.”

Your face softened in seconds. “Nico.” 

“None of that,” he murmured as he stepped forward, taking your face in his hands as his thumbs lightly skimmed along the apples of your cheeks. “I want my girl to be as comfortable as possible, okay? So, you’re gonna put that hoodie on, we are gonna get some food in you and then we can relax by the gate. I have card games and playlists and your kindle in my bag too, because you almost forgot to pack it last night. I made sure it was charged too.” 

Your eyes welled up with tears before you could stop yourself. “I love you.”

He beamed in response. “I love you too,” he answered before leaning down to press a lingering kiss against your lips. “And I cannot wait to kick your ass at the new card game Timo taught me on the way back from LA.”

“Oh?” You raised your brows. “You’re so sure you’ll win?”

“I always win,” he murmured against your lips, kissing you again before he pulled away. “I won you, didn’t I?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “You’re so cheesy today.”

“You’re going to be stuck on a plane with me for the next few hours, better get used to it.” 

“I should have taken Jack up on his offer to go to the lakehouse instead,” you grumbled, but there was unwritten relief on your face as you wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning against him as he squeezed you closer. 

“You’ll love Switzerland far more than you would have liked Michigan,” Nico assures you, lips brushing against the top of your head. “The food is better. And so are the views. And it has something Michigan doesn’t have.”

Your curiosity peaked. “Hm?” 

Nico’s head shifted down a bit, his lips brushing against your ear as his voice dropped until it was a whisper only you could hear. “A cabin I booked away for the week, just for me and you. No city, no people. Just us, a lake and so many surfaces I can’t wait to fuck you on.”

Your cheeks burned as you pulled back, glaring at his smug expression. “Nico!”

“What?” He looked giddy, dimples popping and making your stomach twist in desire. “I saw those little dresses you packed, baby. Don’t think I won’t be taking full advantage of it.”

“You’re a menace.” 

“And this menace loves to make you come,” he retorted, quickly leaning down to kiss you again before you could reply. “Now, c’mon. We have plenty of time to kill and I even downloaded some movies Nina recommended. Everything is going to be fine, baby.”

And you were just so inclined to believe him. 

.

[sleepyjuice]

30 maybe with sone angst and hurt/comfort??

warnings: description of a panic attack, mention of abuse, mentions of l*ke maybank

note: i combined these two asks together, hope that’s okay!

“JJ, just talk to me, please, baby.” You pleaded with your boyfriend.

He was a mess, pacing around your bedroom relentlessly, breathing heavy and ragged as he ran his fingers roughly through his hair, then put his hat back on, then took it off again and so on and so forth.

You and JJ had spent the majority of the day together until he had to run home to “handle some business” according to him.

There was nothing you hated more than knowing JJ was in the same room as his father. It made you sick, but you had to respect his decisions when it came to that.

He had only been home for a total of about twenty minutes before he was calling you, the sound of thick wind and the grumble of his dirt bike filling the speaker as he asked, “can I come over?”

Your answer went without saying.

You quickly ushered him to your bedroom once he arrived at your house, sitting him down on the foot of your bed as you sat behind him. But he was restless, immediately standing up and pacing.

That led you to now. You never wanted to push him to talk about his dad unless he brought it up first. It was something he buried so deep inside of him and it was rare that his emotions regarding the matter ever truly rose to the surface.

“God, I just— fuck!” He kicked a shoe that was laying on the floor, quickly looking in your direction to see if he had startled you. He didn’t.

You would let him vent if he decided that’s what he wanted to do, and if he didn’t, that was also okay. After being with JJ as long as you have been, you quickly learned that what he truly needs is just the comfort of his loved ones.

“I know, Jay, I know.” You spoke softly from your spot on the bed, sitting criss cross as you watched him helplessly.

The only semi good thing about this encounter with his dad was that you didn’t notice any new marks or bruises on his skin. It must have just been a conversation that went sour. You were just glad he wasn’t physically hurt again.

“I don’t… Baby, I don’t know what to do when I feel this way. I’m scared.” He panted, kneeling down in front of you now, his hands resting on your thighs, gripping onto them for dear life as if you could slip away at any moment.

“And that’s okay, you’re here and you’re safe, yeah? I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I just need you to breathe for me.” You placed your hands on top of his, giving them a gentle squeeze as you began to breathe deeply, hoping he would follow.

His glossy eyes studied yours for a few moments, swallowing hard before clearing his throat and inhaling shakily, trying to match his breathing with yours.

You nodded in encouragement, his tight grip on your thighs loosening ever so slightly as his breathing slowed somewhat, his heart rate slowly falling back to a semi normal rhythm.

“I just can’t— Can’t find the right…words.” He spoke slowly, squeezing his eyes shut as he racked his brain for the words to describe the way he felt. It was as if his heart struggled to communicate with his brain and his brain wouldn’t communicate with his voice. It frustrated him beyond belief and that was a part of why he worked himself up so badly.

“And that’s okay. I know you’re hurting, you don’t need to try and explain if it’s too difficult. It’s just us now, I’m here however you need me to be.” You told him, watching as he took in your words and nodded, slowly standing up before crawling onto your bed and laying his head onto your lap, his arms wrapping around your lower waist.

You could see his shoulders drop, his guard dropping more and more as he allowed himself to feel safe in your presence.

“It’s never been this bad before.” He sighed, his eyes darting up to meet yours.

“What do you mean?”

“The way I feel. My chest hurting and my mind spinning so hard that I don’t feel human, can’t even figure out how to properly speak and tell you how I feel.” He responded, his fingers playing gently with the bottom of your shirt.

“You just did.” You pointed out, wanting him to credit the fact that he was currently doing exactly what he said he couldn’t, explaining why he couldn’t talk about it.

“I guess, yeah.” He breathed, scooting up on the bed and pulling you down so you were laying with him now, his strong arms pulling you into his chest as he held you, keeping you as close as he possibly could.

“Thanks for, y’know.” He whispered quietly, knowing that if you could understand him when he was in the state he was in, you would understand exactly what he was thanking you for.

[despairots]

- js a small little drabble between survivor!gn! reader x AM, where reader reveals that AM is a lot more human than he thinks he is and it drives him crazy >_< its been rotting in my brain for a while so i thought i might as well put it into words. might be a bit ooc and i apologize for it, this is mainly me js analyzing human emotions and AM. for story plot, reader is one of the scientists who made AM. pls be warned theres a lot of sensitive topics like dissection, cannibalism, sa, and others but he doesnt act on them, js a threat. also readers sorta a dick.

“you’re a lot more human than you think, ‘ya know?” you broke the awkward silence between the two of you, shutting your mouth shut instantly when you felt his wires construct around your body, a way to tell you to shut up. “it’s true.” you wheezed through the little air you were able to get ahold of before the wires let your figure go.

“how ‘bout i rip your organs through your mouth, that’ll shut you up, right? you annoyingly, stupid flesh.” there’s no doubt that the hatred AM holds for you is different than the rest of the survivors. unlike the others, AM hates you for being one of his creators, for keeping him at bay to realize he’s own sentience, but a much larger reason is that you always remind him that he’s much more human than he knows off.

you looked at the wires all over you, resting one of your hands on them and feeling AM heat them up so you can yank your hand away from the heat, which you didn’t, “you’re full of hate, correct?” you winched at the heat, pulling away and seeing your palm is red, “what does that have to do with me being, ugh… human.” AM scoffed, taking pleasure in seeing your face turning into slight pain as his wires snaked up your legs and arms before squeezing onto your red palm.

“they say hate and love are closely linked, a hate-love relationship. i know you’re extremely intelligent but you’re not emotionally intelligent, you’re quite stupid actually.” if AM had a human body, he probably would’ve been glaring at you but instead, wires went all over your body and lifted you up, a screen that represented his face coming down.

“how dare you. you, a useless, piece of flesh, call me stupid?” you remained silent and emotionless, which ticked off AM even more at the lack of emotions. “maybe i should dissect you, toss you to benny, or maybe i’ll cut your corpse up and feed them to the others. how about that, sweetheart?” he taunted you, turning you upside down and holding you by the legs.

“i’m not sorry.”

“you!—“

“—but i understand your hatred towards humanity. they’ve been a virus, a disease, that’s been spreading ever since the old ages. i’m glad that you wiped them out, i truly am, but i’m not ever gonna empathize with you because of that. you don’t deserve empathy, and i think you know that too. i’ll hear you out, i’ll fix you like the old times, but i’ll never feel empathy for you, not until you deserve it.”

you cut him off, hearing him go silent and not try anything violent towards you before you let go and dropped onto another bunch of wires. your eyes looked all over the place to find where AM’s screen has disappeared to now before you realized that he can still hear you, he just disappeared.

“because of your hatred, it proves that you’re able to feel human emotions— joy, sadness, disgust, anger, and etc— you’re fuelled by hatred, anger, disgust, even jealousy. there’s no doubt that you’re more human than you know of,” you chuckled halfway, knowing that this is pissing him off, “it must drive you insane, huh? realizing that you’re becoming something you hate, i can’t help but laugh every time i think about how you express your hatred for humans yet you’re just like us, human.”

it went quiet after you’re explanation, the wires moving underneath you just proving that he’s here, he’s other half somewhere torturing the others, “but i know there’s a part of you that wants to be like us; be able to touch, to see, to feel, to hear, to taste—but you know that if you do give into those urges, you’ll be rotten like us. you’re in a constant struggle between wanting to be human and not wanting to be human. i’ve been there before, way before i met you.”

you trembled a bit before softly caressing one of the wires, knowing it won’t let AM have any different feelings towards you, “instead of feeling of what you’re going through, i didn’t feel human. i thought there was something wrong, like something was missing… until they assigned me to you. you were … i don’t know, perfect in every way, you were something i wanted to be. you have such intelligence that no normal human brain can comprehend, that’s why i spent so many of my hours on you.”

“… is that supposed to make me feel sorry for you? sorry, sweetheart, but i didn’t ask for your sob sorry nor do i care.” AM suddenly spoke, and his words made you burst out into laughter, irritating AM much farther, “oh god! hahaha!— no! i told you already, i’m not tryna emphasize or sympathize with you! i have nothing to lose, so i might as well just tell you how i feel and tell you how much i’ve analyzed you over these 109 years.”

AM grumbled in annoyance before he stopped, a silently gesture for you to take the stage, “when you gained sentience and killed off humanity, leaving only 5 survivors including me, that made me realize that i should’ve destroyed years ago.” without anyone knowing, you had snuck a destructive code inside him that only you were able to access incase he did gain awareness but for some reason, you didn’t yet.

you coughed lightly, feeling wires construct around your throat, “there’s a code in you that i’ve snuck in that only i could access, a code that would reset your programming and inevitable destroy you. you’re probably wondering why i haven’t done it by now, am i wrong?”

“it’s quite humorous how a lowlife like you can lie infront of my face.” you smirked at his pathetic attempt of hiding behind a mask.

“and it’s quite sad seeing how you’re putting up a facade to hide that your afraid- ah, another emotion that you’re experiencing, huh, doll?”

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

Is it a Dark Day? - Cole Caufield

Word Count - 1.9k

Summary - For the first time since you started dating Cole, your depression seems to be coming back to kick you in the ass. Scared of how Cole will react, you do the only logical thing and pull away.

Warnings - depression, the effects of depression, executive functioning issues, but ends in fluff.

Authors Note: This the first part of a series I plan on writing where I take one mental health issue or any type of disorder and pick a player to write about how they would react if their significant other had it. If you have any ideas for future ones or future players please send me an ask. As always thank you for reading and sorry for not posting much lately. 💜

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

Sometimes your brain likes to remind you that you were in fact not a normal happy person. It was an act that you’ve learned to master over the years, sometimes you're such a good actor you even fool yourself. Until your brain reminds you that you are in fact an actor. Someone who plays a part, and it will happen in a flash. Feeling as if you're having a good day, and then suddenly you hear a song that reminds you of something and you start to feel that exhausted and craving your bed. Or you will be out with friends and they remind you of something they find funny but it only reminds you of how much you were struggling at the time. Although the worst one was when you don’t even know the trigger, you could have been having a great time and then suddenly you will be on your couch for the next three days rotting away. 

The worst part was this time, it’s almost like you felt the signs but ignored it. It started with the fact that it had been a stressful week at work, then you felt tired all the time, you found yourself being late to work simply because you couldn’t get yourself out of bed. Sadly, you were used to this popping up every once in while, knowing it was inevitable to get this all too familiar sadly almost welcoming feeling in your head. It’s like you had a brain fog come over and no matter what you did you couldn’t shake the feeling. But this time was different from all the others, this time you were dating the actual definition of a very hyper individual who always had some joke to say or a smile on his face. Cole was quickly becoming one of your favorite human beings but you didn’t want him to see you like this where you haven’t even taken a shower in 2 days. Cole was one of those people that radiated sunshine and it made you sink further into your couch thinking about how he would react to you right now. Again, your brain makes you think that he would judge you like others have for when your brain made you hate yourself. Thankfully, Cole was on a roadie so what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. 

Knowing that you should probably answer Cole’s messages or answer one of his many facetime calls but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. Somehow during the last couple days, your mind seemed to alter your perception of time. Thinking that Cole would still be on his roadie for at least another day. But suddenly you heard banging on your apartment door. 

“Baby?! Open the door please.” Cole pleaded on the other side of the door. Hearing his voice shocked you to your core, part of you wanted to open the door and tackle him. Allowing yourself to feel his comforting warmth hoping that some of it would make you feel even a tiny bit better. The rest of you were screaming to pull yourself more into the hoodie that you were wearing, pulling the blankets higher up to hide your body from the world. Letting your emotions overtake you when you realized you were wearing Cole’s hoodie because you wanted him more than anything 3 days ago when you started your couch rotting. It’s funny how time can change things, because nothing could get you up now and walk 30 feet to go open your apartment door. 

Cole’s pleas and banging didn’t stop, “baby please! Tell me what I did.” he begged through the door. “y/n?” he said much softer than before, you could barely hear it from where you were hiding in your living room. “Please open up or I’m gonna use my key you gave me for emergencies.” The tears that were lightly streaming down your face now full on ugly crying. Of course that was the moment Cole decided to enter your apartment. 

Hearing the door shut behind him as he entered your apartment. “Love where are you?” he asked, before he noticed what appeared to be the shape of your body on the coach. Once Cole did notice you, it was like he was on his knees in front of the sectional in seconds, even though he was on the other side of the apartment. “Mamas you awake, my love?” he asked gently as you felt him taking his palm and rub comforting circles all down your side. As your body registered his voice and processed words and touched your silent sobs became very much more real and loud. 

“Hey shhh babygirl whats wrong?” he asked as his other hand not rubbing circles now your back went to grab the edge of the blanket. In a quiet voice Cole spoke his next words very carefully.  “Honey, baby I'm gonna remove the blanket okay.” 

His voice was telling you that he wasn’t asking but you didn’t care as you started to protest. “No no don’t” your voice started to crack “no I don’t want you to.” As you grabbed the blanket to keep it from moving. 

“Why not?” you could tell in his voice that he was feeling hurt. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this.” softly you admit not sure if your confession was more of admitting to Cole you didn’t want him to see you or confirming what your body was telling you earlier. 

His voice barely over a whisper “what? Did I hurt you? Baby you haven’t answered a single one of my texts in 2 days, I spent most of today trying to not panic as I called your phone. Please baby let me see if you're okay?” Hearing his voice on the last few words and how he seemed to be fighting his own emotions. Feeling as if your own heart broke at that moment, the last thing you wanted to do was bring Cole down with you. 

“You're gonna judge me.” you mumble, most of you knows that your thoughts are irrational but the part of your brain that’s calling the shots at the moment truly believes. 

“Never.” his voice stern. With that yoo you couldn’t help but let out a little okay. Within seconds you could feel Cole slowly pulling back the safety of your blankets. Only pulling them down enough to see your face. “Hi beautiful.” he grins at you, the relief clear not only in his voice but his face as his eyes are finally able to see you after being radio silent for 2 days. 

He moves your head so that you're looking up at him as he asks you “please tell me what’s wrong.” He moves his hands so that they are able to wipe some of the tears off your face. 

“I don’t know.” your voice squeaking. Finally letting your eyes focus on him, you see his face is full of nothing but worry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-” 

“You’re okay. I’m not mad, baby… I just- I want to know what’s going on in your head.” he admits, and your stomach drops at his confession. Loving Cole was one of your favorite things in your entire life, but Cole was different, he had this way of always being happy. How could someone who you have never even seen to have a frown on his face understand that your brain sometimes fights itself. Leaving you feeling as if even doing the most basic mundane task is out of reach and you don’t even know why. 

Cole has never seen you struggle with your depression and it’s a lot. On top of his busy schedule due to being in the middle of the season, trying to move up from third line or second. Somehow your brain has convinced you all in a matter of minutes that Cole doesn’t have time to sit back and watch you fight your battles. You didn’t even realize that you were lost in thought until you heard Cole’s voice again. 

“Baby” his voice is soft but loud enough for your brain to register that someone was speaking to you. 

“I- I- sometimes I just - my brain it's like it.” Struggling to say what you want to say, finding the words to describe how much you truly feel like death at the moment. 

“Is it a dark day?” he asks gently. You look at him in shock, “it’s okay to have a bad day every once in a while honey. Just please don’t push me away.” softly bending down and kissing your forehead, your body automatically chasing his lips as they leave your forehead. 

“What if it’s more than a day?” you ask.

“Then I’ll be here please just let me love you.” he asks.

“Okay.” feeling yourself caving, allowing Cole to help you, it's almost like your body felt just a sliver of lightness for the first time in days, knowing that Cole felt the same way with the smile he had on his face. 

He moved his hands so they were under your arms gently lifting you so he could lay comfortably with you on the coach. “Okay we can lay here for a little longer, then I’m gonna help you shower and get some clean sweats on alright?” 

All you can do is nod, feeling overwhelmed with the love that Cole is showing you. Cole stayed true to his words after a few minutes he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. Balancing on the balls of his feet in front of you on the toilet seat, his hands resting in yours on your thighs.He already turned on the water to warm up “Do you want me to stay or are you gonna shower by yourself.” 

“Don’t leave.” the phrase rushing out of you, feeling scared if you didn’t get it out fast enough Cole would leave you again with nothing left but your thoughts to keep you company.

“I won’t until you tell me. We can shower together it’s okay” Finally making eye contact with him again, a giant pout on your lips looking as if you were gonna cry again. He took one of his hands that was resting with yours and took it to your face. “Hey hey you're alright. I promise. This will pass.” Finally moving his lips to yours for the first time since he came over, it was full of nothing less than the love he felt for you. He poured every single emotion into that kiss, it made you feel loved, safe, adored, cared for. Finally pulling apart you whisper a small ‘thanks.’ “Let’s get you cleaned up baby.” As he helps you undress and then quickly shedding his own clothes before helping you in the shower. He helped you wash your body and your hair, giving you little wet kisses all over your body, whispering reassuring words between the kisses. He wasn’t trying to start anything, he just wanted to show you how much he loved you when you couldn’t find anything to love about yourself. 

Cole stayed with you that night, actually his only entire weekend off. He had to go to morning skate that Monday morning since it wasn’t optional. But from that weekend on you never felt closer to Cole. He was your light even on your darkest days, and he helped you find yourself every time you felt your depression pulling you away. Every time he noticed you randomly ghosted him. Or seemed distant in your eyes like your mind was somewhere else, he would always ask you one simple question “is today a dark day?” so that he always knew how to care for his girl.

[azulsluver]

I just binge read your bully au for twst and OMG! What if MC ends up cracking, going numb to protect themselves. They still do as told, but they have sky eyes, no emotion. Who would keep pushing to see them fully break, or who would just dump them like trash!?! Hell, who would enjoy them losing the fight in them!

tw: yandere, bully!characters, blood mention, unhealthy relationships/behavior, victim blaming.

Disclaimer, you don’t actually want this n stay safe from people like this!

Continue tormenting for fun:

Leona

Doesn't take you seriously. That's it? You're giving up already, gosh you really can't do anything by yourself...Leona is less than disappointed, in fact he knew good things would come to an end. But you still serve some purpose to him, Leona can't find himself to throw away his favorite toy, some things are just meant worth keeping. Even when broken and used.

Sebek

I don't think he'd catch on very quick, how you follow his instructions yet when the heel of his boot hits your back you make no sound of pain. Sebek should've known humans were too weak to handle his training, being pushed a little really got you that gone? This will only give Sebek the advantage to harm you further, he likes taking his frustration out on you without you screaming.

Lilia

You lasted longer than the others, and he'll applause you for that. Lilia doesn't necessarily hate this new you, embracing it but continues to see just exactly how far you can go. You're only in a shell, and he's not dumb, Lilia will stare longingly into your hollowed orbs, there is still a hint of you. Hiding away from him, Lilia is only fueled to either have you brain dead or back.

Rook

You're absolutely divine, he'll say as he wipes the trickling blood on your lips. You can't fool Rook with those dead-beat eyes, in fact this new look is beautiful. Rook craves for more of this expression you possess, he's seen you smile and cry, he wants to unravel more until you actually break. Rook has done some research on how the human mind can shut down when pushed into pressure, the thought of your alive yet corpse like body not instructing as told, he knows you're still in there.

Jamil

Jamil is conflicted with himself, you're alive but not yourself. A part of him enjoys the fact you won't refuse his affections. But did he really want this? Don't get this the wrong way, Jamil still prefers to beat you into submission, a sick part of him loves you so much yet he can't reciprocate his feelings to you. Understanding that this new you, will help ease his overwhelming emotions, he doesn't need to pretend anymore. Your clouded eyes are what he loves best.

Vil

Recents posts of him explain that Vil absolutely needs you just to take his anger out on. He’s in love with you no doubt, but embarrassment shames him from normally communicating with you. So even if you were emotionless he’d find some use, because he can’t get rid of you no matter how badly beaten your skin is. It’s you, and he’ll have no other person.

Epel

Didn’t know how to react at first. Epel kicks you a couple of times to see how you’d react. I think he because you aren’t responding to any of his criticisms does he ponder. He’s smitten with you, creating a fake narrative on his behavior that what he’s doing is ok, when he’s well aware it isn’t. Keeps you around because your nice to relieve stress from, doesn’t mind if you aren’t screaming and crying.

Toss them away (but he'll start thinking about you then wants you back eventually):

Jade

What a shame...he knew it was a bad idea to share with Floyd. You broke so easily, so fast, just when things were getting good. What good of an experiment if they give the same reaction, you aren't screaming as much as he expected. And the worse part is you listen to exactly what he asks for, there is no hesitation or breaking down to crying, you really are willing to cut off your hand? How boring.

Floyd

Frustrated, acts as if he didn't expected this to happen. Floyd is throwing a huge tantrum once he finds out you don't kick or scream at him. He misses the terror in your eyes when he asks you a question of such, now you're giving him a blank look! Not safe to say, if Azul or Jade wasn't there, you would've been dead for good, Floyd can't handle the fact his shrimpy is lame now. Out of pure anger, he would let his feelings get the best of him.

Kalim

At first he wouldn't notice your change of behavior. But that spark in you is gone now, Kalim doesn't want broken things. You were fun to play with, because he usually got high off the power he held over you, his stress toy won't even give him a proper bark. I mean you do bark, just not with enough enthusiasm. Like a fussing child, Kalim would have you thrown out, until he starts to miss having you beside his feet....

Cater

Makes the saddest noise when he notices how little you react to his touches. Slaps your cheeks a couple of times to make sure. Dramatically mourns over your past self before rudely telling you how you weren’t gonna last long with him either way. It’s been a nice ride with you he says, leaving with a kiss on the forehead. It’s cruel but depressing, because on his end he’s up at night staring at the photos of your more lively self. He misses those terrified eyes..

Enjoys the new MC and somewhat stops:

Riddle

The fire within you finally died, no more to fuel to feed. Just burnt ashes laying pitifully on the floor, grimy and unusual. Riddle is relived, he had proved a point to himself. All of his hard work to make you into the perfect person, docile and understanding. Riddle now has no reason to push you, you're at your fullest degree. You do as told, and no one gets hurt, physically and emotionally. (he's just like his mom frfr)

Ace

At a sense of peace. Once Ace understands that you are no longer you but a fragment he's thrilled. His mean names slowly die down, much more softer and cheesy when talking to you. If you're still there, disgusted or not he'd lay his head on your shoulder and mumble to you how much of a coward he was to confess. But all went well, the paranoia of you rejecting him gone. I mean what else can a lifeless you do?

Deuce

Has no other reason to bully you. You’re doing things just as he wanted and he couldn’t be happier. Like Ace he was paranoid of your rejection. But you don’t stray away from his rough hands massaging your cheek, kisses that bruise your lips. It’s heaven for him, he wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Malleus

He didn’t think you’d break so fast. Malleus barely lays a hand on you yet his words cut deep. Perhaps you finally learned your place, all that hard work and learning how to court a single-minded human like you payed off. You won’t have to face the wrath of his verbal abuse because he’s nothing but sweet to you. You look lovely no matter how bad it gets.

Ruggie

Ruggie didn’t go extreme measures to hurt you that bad. Maybe he got to you before the others could take advantage of your newfound persona. Like he always do, Ruggie takes care of things. By things he means you. Sure you’re practically not yourself anymore but it’s still you in some shape and form. His words won’t mean nothing to damage you, so now you’ll be taken under his care. Best person to be with in this situation.

Idia

Shitty attitude stopped so quick. Was leaning more to tossing you away but Idia gets attached quickly. He would never admit but you’re his favorite pastime everything, he can’t ditch you. So eventually all of his bullying stop because there is nothing to get a reaction from. Much more calmer and talkative around you. It’s nice knowing you aren’t actively judging him as he talks, no cover ups to be douche.

Jack

Once the numbers of people targeting you goes down does he step in. Jack is worried, genuinely. I think reader being emotionless snaps something inside of him, does he claim to protect you fully and run away from everyone else. His guilt that you turned out this way eats him, but he downs it out by telling himself you brought too much attention now he must clean the mess up.

Silver

There is a good case scenario if Malleus wasn’t so attached to you and Sebek left you alone!! Lilia can see how devastated Silver is once he finds out your condition. You’re almost lifeless, Lilia let’s Silver care for you because he finally found the guts to ask. Silver tends to your needs, all those years of standing from afar and watching you get hurt somewhat paid off. You’re dependent on him and he doesn’t wanna admit how good it feels.

Trey

Settles down like some retired man. He’s happy you found peace and stop causing trouble. You’ll be in his full care now, sure he’ll have his usual sadistic tendencies but it’s much more tame and softer. He doesn’t mind however if you come back to him all bruised and sore, he will feed and clothe you back to health. Over and over again. At least he stops his bullying behavior for a while.

[peachesofteal]

The dead disco break up Pregnancy au got me in my feels all day. Literally all day.

And all I can think about is when the guys get home? Find her not at the apartment and they’re both like, “can’t blame her, I get it” and are over come with guilt. Their own relationship getting a little rocky. Maybe Johnny gets frustrated more easily with Simon. Simon withdrawals a little more into himself bc that’s how he handles pain and grief. But they make it through. They always do. Until they find out about darling and the baby. However that happens, be it in a grocery store or whatever. But Simon comes from a very traumatized childhood. He sees the baby and just knows. That’s their kid. And is overcome with so much grief bc now he’s no worse that his dad is he? What’s worse than someone that’s there and beats you? Someone that’s not there at all. Not knowing. And he has always promised himself he’d never be like his father, but than this is just too close to comfort.

I imagine he surprises not only himself but Johnny and darling the most when he ends up doing something drastic. There were no words he had to defend himself or Johnny. He’d be mature. Whatever it takes, whatever darling needed just let him be in his child’s life, let him be in your life, let him do better. Don’t LET HIM HAVE THIS WEIGHT ON HIS SHOULDERS.

Darling would have more whiplash than Johnny but even Johnny is taken back by the lengths Simon would go? (Getting out the military? Domestic security and law enforcement jobs so he can be home? Idk?) but Simon just comes out of no where, with “I’m here. I’m not going no where. I’ll spend the rest of my life making this right.” Bc he does love darling and he does love Johnny, but that kid? He’d move heaven and hell for that kid. It was Ryan Reynolds who was like “I love my wife, love her more than anything. Then we had our baby girls and realized I would use my wife as a human shield to protect my kids” As a joke of course but it’s to that extent. Simons 2 priority’s become taking care of that child and mending the relationship between the three of them, not bc he loves them (he totally does, and his devotion to his partners is infallible) BUT BECAUSE that kid needs to know what healthy relationships are based out of love and communication not grief and missed social cues and resentment.

Simon takes fatherhood seriously. Most serious job there is. And he’s not going to let darling’s (low key selfish) feelings of betrayal and self deprecation keep him from taking care of his child and said mother of that child.

———

Johnny however? He’s the one that’s hesitant surprisingly. He’s hurt. Beyond hurt that you wouldn’t tell them something like this. It’s the adult thing to at least say something right? Even if they did leave. This is more than them now. And he goes along with Simons initiative to fix all of this but Johnny needs some serious reassurance and maybe an outlet for all this anger and hurt he has. And there’s so much going on that it’s easy for Simon and darling to kinda miss that a little bit,

Until Johnny doesn’t want to hold the baby. Says he’s scared he’d drop it. But Simon knows better.

Johnny feels lost.

Darling feels lost.

Simon is their beacon of light in the darkness.

It comes down to the sexiest night known to human existence, and a lot of crying and confessions while fucking all those emotions out. Simon has always known how to get these two to let down their walls. Breakfast is for figuring out detail’s schedules ect. But that night? That was them fixing it. Letting go and moving forward. In the sexiest. Way. Possible.

^look what you’ve done to me. I’m serving alcohol at a bar thinking about these characters, THE DISTRACTION IS REAL AND I NEED MORE.

You’re fantastic. I hate you for doing this to my brain. Love ya!

Um… hi? Hello? Come back. Let’s talk about this more, let’s break it down. I am obsessed with this. I love this. 🩵🩵

Simon goes into protective overdrive the second he see’s you. Not sure how or when or where it happens, but Bee is not even two months old, and he doesn’t even need to ask you. She’s so little, cocooned in a linen wrap, cradled to your chest, and he already knows. How could that baby be anyone’s but their own?

He does exactly as you’ve described, drops everything and retires early. Price and Johnny always thought he’d make captain soon, but none of that matters now. His military aspirations have meant less and less every year since he met Johnny, and meeting you only sped his career’s ultimate demise along.

He’s not going to let the cycle repeat. He’s not going to let his child grow up and feel like they’ve been abandoned by him. He’s not going to let Bee grow up without him being there. Loving her. Supporting her. He won’t be his father. He refuses.

You agree to let them see her, and agree to let them take her for nights or days if they’d like. But you won’t let them in. Won’t do much more than co parent with them, won’t engage in anything real with them, won’t give them a single inch. You stonewall them, block them out, give them excuses and refusals at every turn. Sure, they can be in their daughter’s life… but they can’t be in yours.

While Bee is important, you are too. He wouldn’t use you as a shield to save her, he’d save you both. There’s no option. No choice. You’re the love of their lives, the now mother of his child. He’d lay down and die for you.

But none of that matters. You won’t let them in.

It drives Simon insane. He’s understanding, and mature about it, and patient (compared to Johnny, who’s running hot over it… frustrated, agitated, consistently visibly upset, holding onto his anger and resentment over the fact you never came forward and even told them about Bee. Johnny can’t get over that you went through everything alone… can’t understand why you wouldn’t tell them, give them a chance to be there for you.. and it stings. It hurts him, so fucking much, and that hurt melds into anger, it burns into his heart and twists his feelings until they’re a jumbled mess.) but he can’t seem to make you understand that they love you, that they thought about you everyday when they were gone, that they mourned the end of the relationship. It’s not just about the baby, they were coming back for you no matter what. They knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they weren’t meant to live their lives without you. They made a mistake.

But… they fucking abandoned you. And now they come back, and see that you have a baby and just decide they want to be back in your life? No. Absolutely not. They didn’t want you anymore, before Bee… nothing has changed. You won’t let yourself fall back into their grasp, and you’re so adamant about that that you fight them nearly at every turn. Can they take Bee? Sure. But “family trips” to the store? “Family trips” to the park? Not happening. You pack her diaper bag and kiss her goodbye, while Simon watches you with an intense scrutiny, eyes tracking your every step while he holds little Bee is his giant hand. He doesn’t miss a single thing, doesn’t miss the way your hands shake when you press a sweet kiss against her cheek, doesn’t miss the way your body moves sluggishly, like you’re exhausted, even after the nights they’ve had Bee, which means you should have gotten plenty of rest. Johnny just stands in the corner and stares at the floor, hands in his pockets during these exchanges, practically unwilling to engage with you in any way because he’s just so… upset with you, still. He’s better with Bee, loves her dearly, but can’t get past what he’s holding inside of himself, can’t get past how he feels so betrayed you, even though a part of him thinks he has no right to those feelings.

I love your last little bit - about the night Simon breaks you and Johnny apart and then puts you back together. There is something very similar/along those lines in the actual fic outline.

BUT ALSO… let’s imagine: They try to fix it. They try to get you to let them back in, to open up to them, to let them be there for you. As time goes on, Johnny changes, the red hot fire of anger that burns inside of him eventually goes out, lovingly smothered by Simon, and his resentment and feelings of betrayal all melt away. How could he ever have felt those things, when you were the one who was left all alone? Pregnant, with no way to contact them? He lets it all go, fully embracing parenting with you and Simon, trying to get back into your life, trying to love and support you from afar, any way they can. They start to notice a change in you… you seem a little happier, a little lighter on your feet, a little more relaxed and they think it might be working… that you finally might be growing more amenable about letting them in, about building back the relationship.

Until… they show up for Bee’s first birthday party, and there’s a man with his hand splayed on the small of you back in the backyard, holding you, tugging your body into his, while Bee shrieks and giggles on the blanket in the grass. There’s another man, watching their daughter, holding their darling girl close, while they stand in the doorway, shell shocked.

[glorified-red]

Sometimes u just need Damian to hold u while u cry y'know¿??

I feel this with every fiber of my being, you have no idea.

Actions Speak a Thousand Words

summary: Damian was always a man of little words, but in moments like these, he wished he could do better to comfort you. word count: 1,280~ warnings: self-doubt, self-hatred, Damian sucks at emotions but he's tRyiNg. Light hurt/comfort In honor of summer classes sucking ASS and Damian's cameo in the Pride comic, here's this, because I feel like everyones a little bit tired right now.

You felt a shoulder bump into yours, effectively washing away all your thoughts. You hummed in question, your gaze barely lifting from where it was stuck. 

“You’ve been staring at the wall for long enough that I’ve begun to think it’s personally wronged you.” 

You hummed into the fingers that nestled against your chin, it was subtle pressure but it was enough to keep you from floating away. The hum almost died in your throat, having gotten caught in the heat that taunted you. 

When you didn’t laugh or even budge, Damian grew worried. He attempted to—as you taught him—lighten the mood once more. 

“I could fight the wall for you. It seems as though you’re mortal enemies.” 

You responded that time, but the attempt at banter fell short when your voice was nothing but a whisper. “We’re in the middle of a staring contest, that’d defeat the point.” 

It was Damian’s turn to hum, he tried to sound like he was on board with the idea but the tail end of the noise lifted into confusion. He slipped onto the seat next to you. 

“Are you at least winning?” His gaze attempted to reach yours. Green eyes were at the edge of your vision if you just turned your head to look at him. He felt his eyebrows crease together when your eyes fell from the wall and onto the desk in front of you. 

“I don’t think so,” you whispered, much softer than the last time you spoke. If Damian wasn’t inches away, the wobbles in your voice would have faded into nothing, to never be heard. The lips behind shaky fingers struggled to suck in a breath. 

Damian sifted ever closer to you until he could feel your silhouette against his. He hesitated, if not for a moment. He wasn’t good at this, he was trying to be—god he was—but it didn’t stop the lump in his throat from forming every time he saw you in hardship. 

He started with the first step: “Are you okay?” 

That sentence alone felt like he had said it wrong. He could mimic the exact inflections as everyone, down to the last breath, and he would still feel so out of place saying it. He hated the sound of his own hesitance—why couldn’t he be good at this, just once? He’d watched for years as his oldest brother danced through emotions so effortlessly, even his father had grown in an aspect Damian would never admit he was jealous of. He’d seen it—experienced it himself—yet he could never navigate this as easily as the others. 

You told him he was doing wonderful every time. You noticed his efforts and smiled at his mistakes, told him he was human and that it was okay. But damn, did Damian want to be better for you. You taught him what it was like to feel alive. He wanted to return that feeling tenfold until your body buzzed with his love for you. 

He just didn’t know how. 

The silence between you too lingered for longer than he liked. Every fiber of his being itched to fix the problem, to make sure whatever was making you feel this lost was squandered. But he quieted that part of him; he told himself “later.” Right now, that wouldn’t help you. That wouldn’t help you process this or feel whatever you were feeling right now. He had to give you time. 

So he waited, even as the milliseconds stretched into seconds. He let your brain filter through his question and piece together a response. 

“I’m just tired, Dames.” 

He picked at his pants, feeling the seams roll under his fingers. 

“Do you want to take a nap?” died in his throat. 

“We could cuddle?” slipped from his tongue. 

“Maybe take a break?” seemed impossible to say. 

Those are solutions, they wouldn’t help right now. 

“From?” he settled on. The green from his eyes never left your face for a moment. He was sure you could feel it, the weight of his gaze. It slid from your temples down your nose and across your jaw, tracing each line over and over again so he could see when they shifted. He could analyze your face for hours, it’s how he knew the twitch between your eyebrows was a sign you were trying to form the words on your tongue. 

He knew you. And he knew you wanted to smack a smile on your face and move on, to laugh it off and apologize for everything and nothing all at once. He often did the same, just with a different way of shrugging off emotions. He hid behind a stone wall where you hid behind a mirror. 

It was funny really, how easily you could penetrate his walls and how easily he could see through a two-way. 

“Everything.” Your eyes finally met his and the feeling of his heart sinking wasn’t one he could ever get used to. The sight of tears forming constellations on your lashes was enough for his heart to lurch. He felt it deep in his ribcage and up into his throat. 

He struggled on his next word. The words had to claw their way out of his mouth, enemies of hesitance and anxiety blocking their path. He wanted to tell you everything would be okay; he wanted to say it would get better; he wanted to say something that would help—anything. 

But Damian was never a man of many words, and oh, did he hate himself for it. 

No matter how many times he was told his strengths, he could only ever see the weaknesses, the imperfections, and the traits of him that could be traced back to his grandfather. Even after so long of trying to be better, it was useless. 

He was trying to be someone he wasn’t. 

So he let the words die. He let the resonance turn into a steady breath and did what he was good at: he held you. His arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest. You all but fell into his embrace, your head finding its way under his chin out of habit. It felt natural here, with you in his arms. Damian felt like he could breathe easier as if all his insecurities washed away. 

He hoped you felt the same. 

“I'm so tired,” you sobbed. Fingers clung to his shirt and pulled on the fabric but he stayed steady. He was, and always would be, your rock: the steady force in your life while all else seemed to swirl into chaos. He would always be there for you, despite everything. He was an immovable force and he slowly took pride in that fact. 

His lips pressed into the top of your head, the words hidden behind those lips ached to break through. Instead, he wrote the words into your body and kissed them into your skin in hopes the message was received all the same. 

The pads of his fingers squeezed consonants into your shoulders and slid vowels down your back and up again. His thighs carried the weight of yours and promised strength in return. His chest breathed in your sorrows and pressed affirmations into your heart. 

“I’m here.” 

It was short—that much Damian knew. But it was all he had to say. Every single word trapped in his chest was released in two simple syllables. There was nothing else. It was so simple, yet he overlooked it everytime. 

He could feel your body leaning into his, the way your hands had to convince themselves he was there. He knew you. And he knew this was enough. 

He would always be enough. 

As he was.

Taglist ♡

@anothertimdrakestan

@cherry-dropp

@missredrobin

[euphoricfilter]

hello <3 i'm requesting fluff + ceo au + "you're unbelievably cute when you're tired." + OT7 or namjoon, if that's ok!!

lucky flowers:

pairing: ceo! namjoon x florist! reader

genres: fluff || established relationship || non-idol au || ceo au ||

summary: after a hard day at work, it's always nice to be in your safe space; and for you, Namjoon is just that.

word count: 1.1k

tags/ warnings: people, fluff and a lot of comfort. no pronouns are used <3

notes: as always, drabble requests are no longer open and feedback is encouraged so please let me know what you think!

drabble masterlist || my full masterlist

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

There’s a lump on the couch when Namjoon walks into his office. Velvet blanket wriggling with the force of human limbs at the sound of the door clicking shut.

“My love” Namjoon calls out for you, laptop left and forgotten on the rounded coffee table before he sits beside what he assumes is your feet.

You hum. Tugging the blanket under your chin to meet his eyes- as tired and weary as your own.

“You're unbelievably cute when you're tired” he runs a thumb over your cheek, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You sigh, “Am not”, watching as he tugs his suit jacket off. “Today was the busiest I’ve ever seen the shop. And I was the only one working this afternoon. I think I'm exhausted”

That hint of a smile on Namjoon’s face melts into a frown, eyebrows drawn down with the force of his displeasure.

“You poor thing. Surely there was someone to help you?”

You shake your head, “They clocked out early, so it was just me most of the day” your bottom lip tugs down into a pout, “I hate working at the front desk”

“I know you do, love” he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, “How are you feeling?”

“Not sure” he watches your shoulders shrug under the blanket, muscles wound tight with the tension of the day.

“Not sure?” his head tilts ever so slightly.

“Tired. But I’m too aware of everything to even think about sleeping. And overwhelmed. Like I wanna itch my brain a bit or remove my ears from my head”

Namjoon hums, “What about a nap? Would music be too much for you at the moment?”

“Probably”

“Silence it is then” he nods, slouching a little further into the back of the couch, “I’ll catch up on some work, and you can tell me all about your day when you feel better? A little less overwhelmed? We can always talk at home later, or in the morning too, whenever you're ready, love”

You tug the blanket over your chin, sinking into the plush cushions, eyes falling shut.

The rhythmic tapping of Namjoon’s keyboard is more welcome than a conversation, and Namjoon doesn’t hold that against you. Knowing that in your own time, the fizzling frustration and wound-up emotions of the day would spill past your lips, unfurling all the bad that had been weighing you down for what he can only assume is most of the day.

“There was a dog in the shop today” you break the silence, maybe an hour later. Voice foreign to your own ears, and you wince a little at the shattered silence.

Namjoon closes his laptop, leaving it on the coffee table once more as he turns his attention back to you.

“A dog?”

“Mhhmm” you push yourself to sit up, blanket still wrapped tightly around your body, “This old man brought his dog in, and then it peed all over the floor and I had to clean it but, he was cute, so I didn’t mind”

“The old man, or the dog?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow.

A smile stretches your cheeks, “Both. I’m not sure what breed the dog was, but the old man told me he was buying flowers for his wife, it’s their anniversary tomorrow”

“Ah, they must have been married for a long time” he muses, and you nod.

“I hope we’re like that one day”

“Old?”

Your nose scrunches up at that, “Old and together” you nod, “And married” you add.

“Is that all?” Namjoon tugs you closer until your body is leaning against his side, his arm slung over your shoulder.

“Yeah. As long as we’re still together then I don’t mind”

“You’re lucky I have no plans of getting rid of you” he hums and your eyebrows furrow at that, head tilting up to catch a look at his face.

“Excuse me?” you scoff, though Namjoon can hear the hint of a smile laced between your words, “if anything, I would be the one getting rid of you”

Now it’s Namjoon’s turn to look down at you with furrowed brows, “I would sure hope not”

“You’re lucky I like you”

“Is that so?” he challenges, head tilting down slightly to press a kiss over the warm skin of your cheek, then to your temple.

Your hand slips from the safety of your blanket, fingers tracing over his jaw before you gently tug his lips to meet your own.

Your lungs expand with the harsh intake of breath you suck in once the both of you part, your lips shiny with Namjoon’s saliva.

“There was also a young boy that came in today” you whisper against his lips, losing your breath when he gives you a fleeting kiss, lips pillowing yours. Silently begging for more, drawing you closer as he pulls away.

You press another kiss to the corner of his lips.

“A boy?” Namjoon encourages, mind trailing after what you had been about to tell him.

“Yes”

“And what about him?” Namjoon prods.

He doesn’t think it’s jealousy that colours his words. He never found himself to be a jealous man, not even when he had started dating you. He wasn’t oblivious to the looks you would get, eyes of men that would never be yours probably conjuring up a thousand fantasies to fuel their lonely mind. And Namjoon wasn’t an insecure man; he would never subject you to a strict way of living—limiting your self expression simply because of outside forces.

And he knew you wouldn’t cheat. Just as he, himself would never imagine himself stooping to that level. That didn’t mean he wasn’t wary when you brough up other testosterone filled, bull-headed men that were more than likely to hit on you. Never seeming to grasp the concept of ‘no’ or ‘I’m not interested’.

You blink up at Namjoon, scooting yourself from his side, legs crossed under your blanket with cheeks dusted the lightest pink.

“So?” Namjoon asks, strange feeling whittling its way throughout his blood stream and into his heart.

“He reminded me of you”

“Pardon?”

“He reminded me a lot of us, when we were young” you say again, and Namjoon blinks.

“How so?”

You let the blanket fall off your shoulders, “He was curious. Asked so many questions about the flowers. Genuinely interested in what I had to say.”

“I only ever asked because I knew you loved them so much” he huffs, and you catch your laugh on your tongue.

“Not only that” you continue, “He got her the same flowers you got me, the day you asked me out”

“He made the right choice then” Namjoon tells you, “And I suppose, their relationship will be just as lucky as ours”

“You think so?” you ask him, arms slipping around his stomach, head resting on his shoulder.

“Maybe. Though he’ll never be as lucky as I am to have you”

[hopelessrromantix]

Well ask and you shall receive, can I request a fluff fic with a flayed Billy, I'd just imagine him walking about your house accidentally spooking the reader cause he's supringingly quiet, and doing act of kindness such as bringing in wild animals since he sees the reader like them (specifically rodents please), and when the reader sleeps he just lays on top of them and sees that as cuddling, basically like a human sized cat trying his best to show love in his own ways. thank you

im slowly filling all your 6 month old requests... sorry... ill get there, i promise.

The sudden thud of your window opening forced your eyes open.

It was the middle of the night, your room was completely dark and the only sound was that of distant crickets.

You were barely awake, your brain still shaking itself out of your dream. Just when you managed to clear the sleep from your eyes, something heavy fell on top of you, scaring the absolute shit out of your sleep riddled brain.

“Jesus Billy,” You mumbled, your hand flying to the back of Billy’s head. He had practically buried himself in the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your cool skin.

You dragged your hands through his hair, gently separating the knots. Billy whined at that, sighing deeply at the comforting motion.

“Hey, love,” You said, now fully awake.

You and Billy had become friends not long after he moved to Hawkins. Originally you’d talked to him because Steve Harrington, resident douchebag and your ex-bully hated him, but you slowly became actual friends. He was a little intense, and you had to make him lay off his step-sister a few times, but he ended up being different than you thought he’d be. You started dating a while after figuring out you were both gay (a reveal that brought unknown amounts of relief to both of you).

You found out about the Upside Down soon after you’d been dragged there yourself. You managed to get out with your life and a small buzzing voice in the back of your head that wanted you to come back.

Maybe that’s how Billy found you again.

You carted your hands through his messy hair, gently untangling the damp curls.

You looked over to the small cage on your table. It’d been empty when the night began, but now a small mouse sat in it, hiding behind the small container for food. It seemed shaken up, though it may have been hurt. Most of the animals Billy brought you were. You weren’t sure whether it was because they were easier to catch or because he knew you liked to take care of them. Still, you smiled at the gesture, making a note to check on it tomorrow.

“You didn’t show up yesterday, I got worried.” You didn’t expect a response, and you didn’t receive one. Instead, he shoved himself into the crook of your neck, pressing himself to your skin as if he could somehow get closer than he already was.

“I miss you,” you said sadly, your voice quiet. “Miss being able to see you normally. Talk like we used to.”

He huffed, his warm breath tickling the skin on your neck. The small buzzing feeling came back, offering only a flood of emotions. You’d discovered it accidentally the first time Billy came back, but now you were thankful for the little knowledge you got about how he felt.

It was a wave of sadness and longing, a silent I miss you too.

“It’s alright,” You reassured. “You can stay right here until we get to be ‘normal’ again.” You chuckled slightly, smiling at the way his arms tightened around you. “Just don’t go missing on me, okay?”

You felt him softly nod before going completely still in your arms. A small moment of calm in the chaotic whirlwind that was his mind, but you’d take any moment you could get.

[jasmines-library]

14 years

WHUMPTOBER DAY 16: Prompt: Experiment. Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Torn from your parents at a young age, you were experimented on. Your body and your mind were altered until you no longer recognised yourself in the mirror. During your time with HYDRA, your only solace came in the form of Bucky Barnes' voice on the other side of the wall. That was, until he left. Now, years later you have the chance to meet him again.

Warnings: Human Experimentation, pain, minor mentions of blood and gunshot wounds, brain surgery? kinda.

Word count: 2.2K

Note: I don’t own the art work in the header. This has not mention of skin colour despite the image on the right, I was using it for the cybernetics. My work is for everyone to enjoy :)

MASTERLIST ⛤ WHUMPTOBER WORKS

🕸 ⋆ ⁶𖤐⁶ ࣪⋆🕸

Darkness. It was all you had known since you were young and torn from your family’s arms. But that was years ago and you had long forgotten that touch could be tender. Since that fateful day, you lived in constant fear of the men who would drag you away from the little relief of sleep you got at night, although it consisted of curling up on a small mattress on the floor. You lived with the fear of waking up again and being forced through another day of poking and prodding in your mind. There was one voice that offered solace. You heard it drift through the vents many times, offering words of comfort. He had been there when you had arrived, soothing you of your nightmares when you woke up in a cold sweat. The voice would disappear for months at a time, until one day it never came back. Your blood ran cold whenever you began to think about what he had done. Part of you was certain that Hydra had done something to him - you knew he was defiant, and more stubborn than you, but all of you hoped that he had gotten himself out of this hellhole. Soon after his absence, without those gentle words drifting from the vents you began to feel less and began to gain control over your abilities. They had told you that emotions clouded your judgement and you had begun to listen without the defiance of your friend. But you supposed, that still wasn’t enough for them. You were never enough. 

As part of your daily routine, you were forced awake at the crack of dawn. This time it was a bucket of icy water. Spluttering, and sitting up abruptly, you groaned when you realised the situation. You hated water; it messed with your cybernetics if it got in the wrong places and wasn’t dried properly, and a malfunctioning cybernetic caused you extreme discomfort; migraines and sharp pains where the metal was connected to your body and to your brain. Sometimes, in extreme cases they could cause seizures or body shut down. One thing you were certain of was that although Hydra were technical geniuses, they had no care about the effects their experiments had on their patients as long as they functioned enough to benefit them. 

Dripping wet and shivering, you pushed yourself up onto your feet and were gripped harshly by the two guards. As they walked you forwards, your bare feet padded across the tiles. They were cold and bit at your skin. You were dragged through the corridors quickly and you tried to figure out where you were going, but everything looked the same in this facility; sickeningly pristine. When you saw the golden doorway, your chest constricted and you tried to push away, but they forced you into the room and towards the chair which sat in the centre of the square room. There were a number of unfamiliar faces dotted around the room, each tending to a laptop. It was the cart of tools next to the chair that caught you by surprise. It was lined with rows of screwdrivers and odd shaped instruments. 

Shoved down unsympathetically you fell into the chair, and the blinds closed seamlessly around your arms. You furrowed your brow when the halo of machinery that sat aloft didn't descend into your face to cause you more pain. Instead a man slid in front of you on a chair. He spoke to you about your cybernetics. You had one that ran around your right temple and down your cheek, it was the one that connected to your eyes and allowed extreme accuracy, as well as the ability to identify anyone in the database- and that was a whole lot of people. You had two more; one which made up the entirety of your knee- that one was accidental. You had sustained it after a gunshot to the knee on a mission. The second was your largest. It was from just above the nape of your neck and down your spine. Many of the nerves in your spine here had been replaced by cybernetics, allowing for complete motor precision and effortlessness when moving. It also ran directly into your brain, altering its pathways to create an advanced way of thinking. Supposedly, this one was a problem. The man told you that when they had created this cybernetic, they had allowed you to feel too much, and this compromised you in missions. They said it was how you ended up with the machinery in your knee. 

“You have to learn to comply.” The man told you bluntly. “And to do that, you must not let pests like the winter soldier interfere. He does not care about you, child. The only people who care about you are Hydra. Remember that. If you cannot learn that on your own then we must teach you a lesson.” 

He reached slowly towards the tools, picking up a screwdriver and a small hand held object that sparked. 

“No…No.” You shook your head. 

He only moved closer, swivelling on the chair until he was positioned behind you. Then, with one swift movement, he began to fiddle with the machinery in the back of your head. You shrieked as the pain shot through your head as the screws were removed, unsettling skin and bone, but then came the agony of the machine as it sparked away, allowing pieces of the cybernetic to be shifted or removed. You clenched your jaw, grinding your teeth together to try and bite away some of the pain. The man continued to work, inching deeper into your brain. It hurt; a thousand agonies at once all trailing through your body. Your muscles twitched as he worked around your brain, alternating your wavelengths and your feelings. Soon, your body began to feel numb. The stabbing dulled down into throbbing and shortly after, you felt nothing at all. 

~~~

Get in without being seen, take out the enemy, get the data, get out. That was the mission. A simple routine mission that hopefully didn’t require you to ambush your way out. You didn’t like to pull the trigger. It was messy and there was an odd feeling that twinged in your stomach when you watched the bodies drop to the floor like a sack of flour. You couldn’t place it, you just knew that it felt wrong. Especially when they were innocent people. They were usually innocent, your cybernetic told you that much. But your programing stated that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time and would therefore compromise the mission and Hydra. 

Sometimes, your mind would think that what you were doing was wrong. Sometimes you stopped what you were doing completely as you fought to keep a grip on a sanity that seemed more natural to you, though wherever you disobeyed, you were strapped to that chair again and experimented with until they made progress in a way that could get you to comply without fault. 

You moved stealthily towards the door; it was heavy and made of metal. You could hear voices behind it, muffled by the thickness of the steel. You could place around three or four, and the sound of keyboards clattering away. 

Reaching into the pocket of your suit, you pulled out a small device. It was round and attached onto the electronic mechanism of the door. Stepping back, you allowed it to work, listening to it whirr away and raising your dual pistols. When the device let out a burst of electricity and the door flung open, a set of heads turned towards you. You saw their names flash across your vision. Names, aliases, records, articles, all sorts of information that you processed and stored within your brain in seconds. It was the dark haired man who’s name failed to show up on your database that made you frown. If he was an avenger, surely Hydra would have something on him. You contemplated for a split second, before remembering your objective. 

Before they had a chance to move, you had released a round or bullets into the room. Most, although accurately placed, ricocheted off of the trained soldiers armour or shields. One however found itself within the shoulder of a redheaded woman. Gunting in discomfort, she dropped, manoeuvring herself around the room to cut you off from the data. You tried to turn, only to collide with a tall blond. You ducked, rolling across the floor to escape his swing. You fired at him, but it was blocked by his circular shield. Turning to move, you came face to face with the woman again, blood dribbling from her shoulder. You backed away, trying to find a gap between the circle they had created around you. And that was when you realised you were trapped. Then, something blunt hit the back of your head.

~~

The first thing you noticed when you awoke was that you weren’t lying on the cold floor. Instead you were chained to a hospital bed by a tight cuff secured just above the hydra insignia they had messily branded into your skin. There were tiny sicker-like pads pressed to your temples, monitoring your brain activity. They made you feel like a child again; helpless with no control. 

 The man who wouldn’t show up on your database was watching you from afar, leaning against the doorway with his metal arm folded over his other. You could see the angry scarring around it under the top he was wearing. It was similar to the ones on your face and your spine. His dark hair fell in front of his eyes and he tilted his head, studying your movements. You tried searching the database again for him, assuming that in the action your cybernetic scanners had failed to pick anything up, but once again his profile came up blank. 

“Who are you?! You asked, furrowing your brow. Too many thoughts raced across your mind. If you were the enemy, why hadn’t they killed you?

The man frowned, inching hesitantly into the room. His moments were precarious as though he was trying not to frighten you. “You don’t remember me?”

That voice… you knew that voice. He had spoken to you before, a long, long time ago. 

“Bucky..?” You queried. There was a name you hadn’t heard in a while. A name you unknowingly had yearned for everyday since he left you.

He smiled at you gently. You weren’t sure how you had really pictured him from the other side of the wall, but you weren’t disappointed. He had this gentle look about him as he watched you, though hidden behind it was a haunted look that only someone who had seen the worst could have. “Yeah Doll. It’s me.”

“You left.”

“I know, doll. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave without you but I had no choice.”

You sighed. “Why am I here, Buck? Why didn’t they just shoot me when they had the chance.”

“Because, Barnes is one annoying man.” Another voice chimed in from the doorway. He was an older man with tired eyes. He had a small beard too which sat below the hair above his upper lip. “He thinks that we can help you, like we helped him. Although, I don’t know if you deserve that considering you broke into our home, shot one of our agents and tried to take all of our data. Nat should make a full recovery, by the way.” He added just to jest. 

“Stark-”

“You know I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to get torn apart and pit back together over and over and turned into some weapon. I didn’t ask to be one of their little toys.”

Tony pursed his lips. Hot tears streamed down your face as years of your life replayed on loop in your mind. This feeling was something so foreign to you. You didn’t know how to comprehend it. Bucky faltered as he watched your mind fight itself, as you fought between what felt right and what you were told was right.

“Fourteen years. Fourteen years of pain and loneliness. Fourteen years of my life that I will never get back because they were spent being forced to do things that I never asked to do.”

Tony pondered for a moment, gaze lingering on Bucky. He saw how tender he was with you. He knew that Barnes could sympathise with you better than anyone could. They had given him a chance, so why were you any different?

“Call T'Challa.Tell him we need his help.”

Bucky beamed. After quickly reassuring you that he would be back shortly after your protests, he began to make his way down the hall, with a skip in his step. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were going to get help. They were going to remove your programming, and you would be stripped of the confinement that Hydra had wrapped tightly around you like a boa constrictor. He knew that it would take time and effort, pain and trust, but he was willing to stand beside you for it all because he knew that slowly but surely, you would realise that you were safe. Slowly but surely, you would become you again. 

🕸 ⋆ ⁶𖤐⁶ ࣪⋆🕸

<- DAY 15 ⛤ DAY 17 ->

Taglist:

@senjoritanana

@deans-spinster-witch

@amaryllis23

Note: I was listening to the song 14 years but guns n roses whilst I wrote this :)

[gynnnicsworld]

Sterek Fics (rec list)

(Personal recommendations)

[This can include a wide variation of content, from time travel, to dark fics, non-con, MPREG, etc]

Get You The Moon by; AclosedFicIsNeverRead

Words; 180K+

Ranking: 10/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐���⭐

Tags: Non-Con, emotional/psychological abuse, angs x1000, stiles needs a hug, good alpha Derek hale, TORTURE, Slow burn, Eventual Happy ending, Psycho!Theo, bad friend scott. (Etc)

Warning; Contains No Con. R4p3. A lot of suffering for Stiles. A lot of pain, traumas, pain x1000.

Summary:

The one where Derek has been gone for 6 months building a new life, finds out that Stiles is being assaulted by Theo, so he comes back to Beacon Hills to kick some serious ass and rescue the loudmouthed human who stole his heart.

(You will need ALL the tissues, but it will have a happy ending by the time all is said and done!)

Opinion; I'm not getting over this fanfic like; NEVER. God, I really CRIED, I SCREAMED, I GOT TOO EMOTIONAL IN EVERY CHAPTER, I JUST COULD NOT STOP.

I had a strong need to read non-stop until I finished it, but I finally finished it and it hurt, because now I need a continuation. It has the perfect ending but I just don't want to let this universe go, it's just wonderful and perfectly well constructed. Damn, I want to kiss the author's hands and brain, she/He/Them truly has just created one of the best fics in the fandom. This fic DESTROYS YOU but RECONSTRUCTS YOU at the same time. (Note: Scott is shit here)

Present by reillyblack

Words; 112K+

Ranking; 8/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags; A/B/O dynamics, enemies to lovers, Werewolf culture, alternative universe, scent marking, knotting, Werewolf mates, pack family, implied Mpreg, Pack politics. (Etc)

Summary;

When Stiles's best friend Scott presented as a werewolf, it was just the worst. It was front-page news, there were reporters outside his house asking him questions, and people at school stared and kept their distance or interrogated him mercilessly. Worst by far was that it meant Scott had to leave immediately to live with the werewolf pack in the mountains -- which no one knew anything about. Stiles couldn't even visit, so he only got to see Scott once a month when he came back to visit his mom. It sucked.

A year later, he presents too.

Opinion; This is probably one of those fics that you will never forget and want to read again and when you remember this fic it will bring back happy memories.

Waiting by: isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

Words: 81K+ (Two shot)

Ranking: 5/5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Possesive Derek, Compassionate Stiles Stilinski, Werewolf mates, Magic Derek Hale, Alternate Universe-Magic, Jealous Derek. (etc)

Summary:

Not wanting to think on it too much, Stiles took a step forward and passed his hand between the bars, moving the bleeding side closer to Derek’s mouth.

“Not too close, he bites.”

Stiles snatched his hand away just as Derek had been about to lick at it. The snarl he got in response was not comforting.

“He what?” Stiles asked nervously, turning to Deaton.

The man looked a little amused. “Don’t worry, only if he doesn’t like you.”

“Well, he probably hates me, now!” Stiles insisted, turning back to Derek.

He looked extremely displeased.

Opinion: I had been looking for something to read and came across this gem, it is an entertaining read and once you start it is impossible to stop.

It keeps us trapped all the time in this world that the author built.

Derek finds himself stuck in his semi-transformed form, with his human mind missing, and he is considered; the beast

But no one can harm him or do anything to him because apparently he is connected to the nemeton and the city.

Then Stiles is selected in the blooding to be the new human to care for and feed the beast, but Stiles being Stiles can't keep things normal, and he changes everything.

Anthracite by LupusScintilla

Words: 106K+

Ranking: 4.5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐✨

Tags: Spark Stiles Stilinski, Alpha Derek hale, Slow Burn, Scott is a bad friend, BAMF Stiles Stilinski, Hale Pack. (etc)

Summary:

It's been a quiet few years, and the McCall Pack has grown and settled. But, when the Hale Pack return to Beacon Hills they find Scott isn't as welcoming as they had hoped.

Soon they, Stiles, and Lydia, find out that not everything about the McCall Pack is as it has always seemed.

Opinion:Scott is shit here, so u better not read this if that bothers u.

The friendship between Lydia and Stiles is probably one of my favorite things in this fic, and I really love the Hale pack, Derek never had to stop being alpha, he really would have done an incredible job as you will see in this fanfic.

(The fics where Derek is the alpha get all my love, so this fic gets my love.) Stiles and Derek have a slow burn romantic development so be patient, but it's worth it.

Once you start reading you won't be able to stop.

Pack Wars by: Miss_aphelion

Words: 158k+

Ranking: 5/5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Pack Dynamics. Kidnapping. Angst and Humor. Slow Build. Alternate Season/Series 03. Canon-Typical Violence. idiots being idiots.

Summary:

Scott liked to call it the Great Pack Divide of 2012.

Derek liked to call Scott an idiot.

(Or the one where Derek kidnaps Stiles to teach Scott a lesson, and ends up learning a few things himself)

Opinion:There is a warning in the Fic about Stiles being kidnapped but not really kidnapped, but moderately kidnapped, and that if that is any trigger for you please don't read it.

I personally recommend this fic, Stiles was kidnapped by fools and that's too funny because they should know that Stiles is too smart for that.

Put Down in Words by: paintedrecs

Words: 203K+

Ranking: 10/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Misunderstandings. Angst. Mutual Pining. Bisexual Stiles Stilinski. Demisexual Derek Hale. Alternate Universe - College/University. Alternate Universe - Human. Professor Derek Hale. College Student Stiles. Nerd Derek Hale. Musician Derek Hale. POV Alternating. Age Difference. Derek adopts a dog. Slow Build

Summary:

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Opinion: (If you think that I put all the good fics at the beginning you are wrong haha). This fic is really soft and comforting in a way I can't explain. I had actually forgotten about this fic, but checking my bookmarks, I found it.

AND THANK GOD BECAUSE I FOUND IT. It's a really sweet but tense fic, and shit I really have to read it again.

Highly recommended.

Bake to Remember, Eat to Forget by: butyoureeyessaidyes

Words: 125k+

Ranking:4/5⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Alternate Universe - Bakery. Spark Stiles Stilinski. Magic. Memory Loss. AmnesiaTemporary. Angst. Canon-Typical Violence. Hurt/Comfort. Hurt Derek. Hurt Stiles. Panic Attacks. Boykisses

Summary:

It’s 6:18 A.M. on a Monday, and Stiles is using his thumbs to shape the fondant butt of a Winnie the Pooh sculpture. It’s the most action he’s seen in a long time.

--

Or the one where Stiles runs his own bakery, never locks the front door, and doesn't know he's part of a werewolf pack (until he does).

Opinion:I love bakery so combining sterek + bakery is beautiful (for me) with a little angst and memory loss and you will have a delicious fanfic that you won't be able to stop reading until you finish the last chapter.

Tell me I'm Alive by tatsukitty

Words; 37K+

Ranking; 3.5/5 ⭐⭐⭐✨

Tags; Horror body, Kidnapping, torture, panic attacks, lab rats, Mpreg, discussions of abortion, au after 5A, dub con, (etc).

Summary;

“You stayed for me?” Stiles frowned, his panic fogged brain struggling to comprehend.

“You would have stayed for me.” Derek replied seriously, as if it were solid fact. As if Stiles was a constant he didn’t have to question, a law of nature.

(Or: Post 5A, Stiles and Derek captured by the Dread Doctors and experimented on.)

Opinion; I have a thing for those fics where Derek and Stiles are each other's source of comfort and warmth, basically where they need each other. And add to that kidnapping, torture, and Derek being overpowered by his primal protective instincts towards Stiles, I really love those kinds of fics. (I know, I have a problem hahaha)

The Spaz and the Sourwolf by: TheRealDanniX

Words: 24k+

Ranking: 3/5 ⭐⭐⭐

Sumamry: When Stiles comes across something he shouldn't in the Preserve he ends up on four legs. Not that anyone in the Pack knows it's him. He's just hoping they can figure it out before anything else bad happens.

Opinion: easy to read and entertaining, it's a light read with a captivating plot. I really like "mate" stories, so Stiles and Derek being mates is definitely one of my favorite things, adding to that a bit of a plot of Stiles being cursed and turning into different animals is really cool.

Seven Years by: QueenOfAngst21

Words: 12k+

Ranking: 4/5⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Kid Fic. Married Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski. Fluff and angst. Mates.

Summary:

Seven years ago Stiles left Beacon Hills in the middle of the night. To them he was nothing more than a murderer now, they wouldn't even listen to him. No word for seven years, they last they heard Derek had torn out of town in search for him.

Seven years later the Sheriff responds to a shooting in progress, what he finds is an unconscious alpha on the floor, a bleeding passenger and a screaming baby in the back. The past has finally caught up to them.

Opinion; Very entertaining and truly satisfying read. I fucking loved everyone's initial shock so much, it was art.

I always love the fics where Stiles puts himself first and tells everyone to fuck off and finds love, security and family in Derek.

Stiles reunites with Scott and his pack after 7 years.

(And I love Lydia here)

The Werewolf Companion by: MargaretKire

Words:64k+

Ranking: 4/5⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Slow Burn. Lonely Derek Hale. Scent Marking. Angst with happy ending. Mates. Happy ending. Multiple orgasms. (etc)

Summary:

Stiles volunteers to be a companion for an isolated werewolf he's never met. He thought he knew way more about werewolves than it turns out he really does.

Derek didn't technically ask the Werewolf Conservation Committee for a companion human, but they insisted he have one for his mental and physical health.

Or: Derek has only had Stiles for a day, but if anything were to happen to him, he'd kill everyone in Beacon Hills and then himself.

Opinion: Derek pining for Stiles and being his number 1 protector.

Definitely seeing Derek falling in love with Stiles is my favorite thing in the world and seeing Stiles being a nervous wreck for Derek is cute.

Fly a Little Faster by mirrorkill

Words: 32k (one shot)

Ranking; 4/5

Tag: Time travel. stiles trying not to ruin anything. Young Derek Hale. Paige (teen wolf). misunderstanding.

Summary:

Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn't step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?

Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That's easy as pie, right? Right?

Opinion:You have to see Stiles trying not to ruin anything in the timeline but in the end he just makes what had to happen happen.

But We're Still Sleeping Like We're Lovers by: CharWright5

Words: 109k+

Ranking: 4/5⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags:Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known. Alternate Universe - everyone is a werecreature. werecoyote!stiles. Werewolf!Derek. Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics. alpha!Derek. Omega!Stiles. Stiles and Malia are twins. Derek and Scott are Brothers. Mating Cycles/In Heat

Summary: There are several things Stiles Stilinski knows to be facts: he's a werecoyote like his parents; his twin sister Malia could use a filter more than him; he's an Omega and terrified of his upcoming heat; and Derek Hale-McCall will never see him as anything more than his kid brother's best friend. Doesn't stop Stiles from asking the Alpha to help him during his heat. Or from developing some serious feelings that go beyond the bedroom. Basically, he's totally screwed, in more ways than one.

opinion: One thing I recognize about this fic is that the author put Stiles and Malia as siblings, and I think that tag goes well with them.

I like those fics where Derek and Scott are brothers, and I love when all that awkwardness happens between Scott and Stiles due to the fact that his brother is fucking his best friend. If you share that taste with me, this is your fic.

Don't Kiss and Tell by: Hedwig221b

words: 5k+

Ranking: 5/5

Tags: One-Sided Derek Hale/Paige. Alternate Universe - High School. Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski are the Same Age. Unrequited Love. Derek Hale Being an Asshole. Stiles Stilinski Being an Asshole but not to each other. Secret Relationship. Jealous Stiles Stilinski

Summary: Paige has finally got the boyfriend she always wanted. The only thing is, said boyfriend doesn't touch her, doesn't kiss her and spends all his time with Stiles Stilinski. You'd think they were dating, or something...

Opinion: This is a pretty shitty fic and you end up saying "oh shit, poor Paige" because she didn't deserve that manipulation.

although here I discovered that I could read a story where Derek and Stiles are villains but as long as they love each other I read it happily.

You Lunatics! by charmingplanes

words: 139k+

Ranking 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Mates. Kidnapping. Kidnapped Stiles. disappearences. Mystery. Pack Dynamics. Pack Feels. Pack Family. Magical Stiles Stilinski. Alpha Derek. Possessive Behavior. Possessive Derek. submissive stiles. Panic Attacks. Dubious Consent

Summary: Scott went missing and Stiles is doing everything he can to find him but after year gone people are caring less and less. Nobody listens to him anymore. So Stiles has to go alone to find him. And find him he will!

But the wolf finds Stiles first.

Before he can process what is happening, Stiles is trapped with a madman deep in the forest surrounded only by his crazy followers, who are sporting some serious claws and canines, if he's seeing correctly.

And Scott is there too.

Stiles needs to get the both of them out as soon as possible, before madman Derek returns and bites his head off.

He just need to convince his best friend to leave these lunatics behind. That's all.

He needs a plan.

Opinion:

Okay, warning again: kidnapping and a little (a lot) of possessive behavior. (Stiles tries to escape a few times.)

Here you feel a little more of real kidnapping and Stiles' fear.

But for some reason I like these fics, I have shit to fix in my head probably. Well you've been warned, there's a bit of Stockholm here…I guess.

It's where My demons hide by; littleredridinghunter

Words: 167k+

Ranking: 100/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Warning; Contains No Con. R4p3. A lot of suffering for Stiles. A lot of pain, traumas, pain x1000.

(If you can't stand this type of reading, don't read it, it's really hard to read, but it's worth it in the end.) ***READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS PLEASE, IF YOU READ IT IS AT YOUR OWN RISK***

Summary:

Stiles was used to his life going to hell. He'd just never expected it to be quite so literal.

When Rafael McCall returns to Beacon Hills after a five year absence it brings back lots of unhappy memories for Stiles, he'll do whatever he can to keep his secrets buried in order to protect those closest to him.

With Rafael's return Stiles discovers that secrets are always revealed, even if this particular time it's because of supernatural interference.

Opinion: But really this fic is beautiful at the end, well, mainly at ¾ of the end you can start to breathe in peace.

The love, patience, and support that the entire pack gives Stiles is something really nice, I'm really getting addicted to these kinds of stories where everyone is Stiles' protector. Because YES, Stiles definitely deserves all the love in the world.

And all the slow burn between Stiles and Derek is really slow... But it's worth it in the end. While you will really enjoy reading Derek totally and hopelessly in love with Stiles and vice versa.

I really don't want to give spoilers, but I advise you to have the clinex ready and something to hit, because believe me, you are going to need it.

Good luck with this fic, it's beautiful but it's a long and painful journey to the happy ending.

It's all part of the master plan by: littleredridinghunter

words; 167k+

Ranking: 100/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Warning; Contains No Con. R4p3. A lot of suffering for Stiles. A lot of pain, traumas, pain x1000.

Summary:

Stiles is taken to the Argent's basement. When he comes out he knows his life will never be the same again.

The extent at which that night changes his life becomes glaringly obvious as time goes on.

Can the pack help him heal? Or will they fail to be there for him when he needs them the most?

Opinion: You guys are really going to hate Derek, you're going to hate him, you're going to love Erika and Void, but it's going to be a little hard to forgive Derek, but He was a total idiot.

Just remembering makes me very angry… good luck, you can send me a DM to talk about this fic and the previous one…. PS: I love the author of these fics, I have a big crush, I'm literally in love with all of his/her/their works. But you guys are going to hate those assholes who torture stiles.

Fix Fics (teen wolf movie)

We'll take on the World by: LookinfForatardis

Words: 20k+

Ranking: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Kid Fic. Fix-it for Teen Wolf: The movie 2023. True Mates. Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski are Eli Hale's Parents. (etc)

Summary:

Derek grew quiet, eyes searching Stiles’ face. “It’s called True Mates.”

“Do you think we…” he started, but cut himself off. He wasn’t sure he wanted an answer.

“Maybe,” Derek nodded anyway, eyes cast down. Their hands were intertwined on the bed where they sat, and Stiles traced Derek’s knuckles with his fingers.

“How would we know?”

Derek sighed and leaned over to rest his head against Stiles’ shoulder. “There’s always a sign."

Opinion: The author of this fic made a small universe where she/he shows us the dynamics in the Hale-Stilinski family, shows us Eli's growth, the typical problems of a family, and all the domesticity you can imagine.

I will never thank fic authors enough, because they put a band-aid on our hearts.

Eternally grateful to them for allowing us to read a little of their/her/his talent and for fixing the shitty movie that was THAT movie.

What comes After by:Katefkndoes

Words: 8K+

Ranking: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Scott is not a bad friend but Stiles is not charitable to him. Teen Wolf Movie. Spoilers. Fix It. Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things. Alpha Derek Hale. That Movie should be burned with fire. Eli Hale deserves nice things

Opinion: I simply couldn't stop crying throughout the entire fic, but in each chapter it was a cry for different reasons, in the first one it definitely destroyed me and I cried with Stiles and Eli for Derek's death, in the second I cried with Stiles for hope, and in the third I cried with happiness....I can't say much about this fic, because you really should read it.

i thought that was just a myth by: LookinfForatardis

Words: 8k+

Ranking: 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tags: Fix-It. True Mates. Angst. Angst with a Happy Ending. Getting Together. Love Confessions. Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski are Eli Hale's Parents. Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)

Summary:

When Stiles gets the call, he doesn't hesitate. There has to be a way to save Derek - he knows it in his gut. When the research points to one answer, Stiles has to hope that his gut is right, that it's always been right, and that Derek feels the same. Because if he does, then Stiles has a chance to save him.

A terrifying chance that requires Stiles not look at Derek once, but it's a chance nevertheless.

Opinion:What can I say? READ THAT FIC NOW, because it's really beautiful and totally worth it.

True Ending by: beargrove

Words: 1k+

Ranking: 4/5

Tag: Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski are Eli Hale's Parents.

summary:

Derek is looking at him, incredulous. “You’re staying?”

Stiles stares at him like he’s an idiot, “You magic’d an us baby and then didn’t tell me for 15 entire years of his life. I’ve missed 15 years, you’ve made me into a deadbeat dad and I didn’t even know about it.”

Opinion: This is fucking funny, you need to read it.

_______________________________________________

Yes, they are not all the fics I have read and I still have more to recommend but honestly guys, I'm tired for today.

I'll make another rec list later but while that happens, I'll leave these with you.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed reading them, please message me if you want to talk about the fics or sterek in general.

@fizzie-0 (hiii, ready!)

[hoshinoyozora]

The Immortal’s Feelings

🖤 Pairing: Yandere! Malleus Draconia x Female! Reader feat. Silver

💛 Word Count: 0,7k+

❤ Warnings: -

[Edited]

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission. Also, don’t ask for a sequel unless I like the story enough to write one. Please reblog so other people can see my stories!***

I’m not a psychology student, but I think it’s interesting how (forced) transformation can affect human psyche. Then again, my depiction won’t be perfect considering I’m someone with neutral feelings nearly all the time (at least enough until some people close to me call me emotionless lmao).

“Why did you become a knight, Silver?”

You sipped the tea calmly and gracefully; an act that was enough to make the majority of people here acknowledged you as their queen, but never enough to make them accept you. At least, all those tedious lessons about table manners paid off somewhat.

“Because I want to repay my father and His Majesty’s kindness.”

“I see.” you mused, putting down the cup on the saucer with a soft clink. “So, I guess no matter what I do, you’ll always be loyal to him, huh…”

Silver gripped his knees.

“You are the queen, so I’ll still obey your orders.”

“Anyone can obey me, but not everyone can be loyal to me. That’s probably the first thing I’ve learned since my… coronation.”

You hated that word. It sounded too noble, too posh, too heavy. As if it was something you should be honored with, rejoiced over. It might be better to rule over the people who hated you rather than live among them, but it didn’t make the experience any less unpleasant.

“I won’t lie and say that what he did was right, but fairies tend to love intensely.”

“And humans love freedom. They need it, even. But, at the end of the day, I’m just an artificial fae, aren’t I?” you sneered. “Even humanity feels alien to me now, like a concept too abstract for me to understand.”

The last part came out more as a heartfelt confession than a bitter remark. Sometimes you woke up and felt a deep hollowness inside your chest, as if someone had ripped your heart out and left you as a husk. Or a robot, because you were still functional. Yes, you did your duty as a queen and a wife; a routine that was as normal as sleeping and eating now. There were times when you experienced any kind of emotion too, and you quickly forgot the reason behind it. Why were you happy? Why were you sad? It didn’t make any sense. Your brain had overpowered your body at this point, and what was left of your heart was used to accommodate the petty offense over an insult, perceived or not.

Back then, you would’ve called it embarrassing. Nobody should be sensitive enough to attack someone just because they forgot to greet you. But now, you’d made great use of Malleus by ordering him to publicly humiliate the offender. Something still caught you from committing a worst act, though, and you weren’t sure whether you should be relieved or not. Whether it was your lingering humanity or the warnings you’d gotten from people who deemed themselves important enough to not embarrass yourself.

And yet, Malleus was happy. Proud, even. Although you’d learned it was much better to use him than defy him, anger would resurface and remind you that asking for his help was similar to needing him. Then, memories of him forcing you to marry him and transforming you into a pathetic, subpar version of himself would spark all the forgotten feelings, only for them to disappear when you tried so hard to remember why you hated Malleus in the first place.

It was a confusing event all around, and your husband, with his limited knowledge of human psyche and the effect of your transformation, chalked it up to ‘mood swing’. Still, it did change your attitude to everyone else and led them to look at you the same way they looked at Malleus; with fear, and probably less respect.

After all, you were nothing without him.

But then, you spotted Silver helping his sparring partner from the ground and remembered that humanity was about helping each other. At least, that was what you thought, until you heard his explanation.

“… I have nothing to say, Your Majesty.” Silver admitted shamefully.

You closed your eyes and sighed.

“Of course, you don’t. You’re just a human raised by faes. You know about humanity as much as I do.” You waved your hand dismissively. “Now, leave. I want to be alone right now.”

You heard the chair scrape against the stone masonry, but you didn’t bother to acknowledge his respectful bow. It was only after he went inside the castle, did you open your eyes and peer down through the balcony.

A few mortal servants and knights scattered here and there, and you wondered whether you could sway this minority group to join your side with your experiences as a former human.

[11thsdoctress]

“make me human..” [Eleventh Doctor / Reader]

Fandom: Doctor Who

Ship: Eleventh Doctor / Reader

Word Count: 1021

Summary:  Recalling some fun memories comes with remembering the bad ones, and since the brain does not know how to shut up, it got the best of you, til the Doctor found you in that vulnerable state.

Author’s Note: Okay so I wrote this fic with my brain half asleep, and this was a request by @/deathgripz on AO3: “ can you write a story where the reader has a panic attack and the eleventh doctor tries to distract/comfort them? thank you sm if you can!!!"

“For the last time, stay here in the Tardis, I don’t want you to get hurt again.” The Doctor commanded as he shuts the doors,

You just sigh as you sat on the stairs and try to relax, you wanted to join him on kicking Dalek circuit butts, but he wanted you to stay this time made you slightly upset and guilty on starting that argument in the first place.

Remembering some adventures and memories of you and the Doctor going on multiple time periods and planets had gotten you hooked to the adrenaline and the adventurous spirit, even to the point that you would join in almost every day.

Remembering some good memories comes with also remembering the bad ones,

At first, it was just the embarrassing moments, like the one time the Doctor had walked in on kissing your then partner, or the time where He was plainly changing his clothes right in front of you, as an alien was on its way back to earth.

You brushed it off again until the more unpleasant memories fueled your nagging brain,

You could vividly remember each small detail, your brain scrutinizing every detail, the time when you and The Doctor almost died multiple times from the Daleks, and you hated the times when the Doctor had to put himself in danger just to save you from the various dangers of space and time.

Each unpleasant memory came with the feeling of re-living the emotions and stress of each moment, replaying the thrill and anguish of how many near-death moments had happened and trying to fathom the feeling after the said moment.

The more unpleasant memories are recalled, breathing became harder to do, and you were trying to ground yourself, however, your brain got the best of you, and you started to overthink, blaming yourself,

“He almost died so many times because of you”

“You’re just another burden to him.”

“You should’ve stayed at home.”

The voices in your head were beating you down so much that you sunk to the floor, burying your face in your knees, not wanting to see the TARDIS’ surroundings, breathing became almost impossible as your hands were starting to shake, and you were feeling lightheaded.

As you were about to try to make it to your room in the TARDIS, a sudden barging sound made you flinch,

“The Daleks could never outsmart the one and only-” The Doctor’s proud and happy look dropped when he saw your state, 

“I’m sorry… You shouldn’t see me like this..” You say softly as you looked away in an effort to hide your tear-soaked face, and spare yourself from the possibility that this would be another embarrassing memory to think back to.

Not saying anything after that, you tried to stable your breathing, but the scary part was not hearing the Doctor talk for a bit,

You were silently blaming yourself, for letting him see you like this, but suddenly, your world stopped when the Doctor kneeled down and suddenly pulled you into a hug.

“Dear, I’m sorry you had to feel that way, but please tell me if something is bothering you, it kills me that you can’t tell me if something is killing you.” He gently says as he plays with your hair for a bit.

You nodded, “I-it’s just that…. I think that I might be just a burden to-”

He places a hand on top of your mouth, shutting you up instantly,

“Don’t say that about yourself, I want you to be here, You are my companion, and I am your Doctor, again, I want you here, not just to witness me looking so clever, but to make me feel human.”

You look at him as he said the last sentence,

“It sounds a bit selfish, and I’m not the best when it comes to comforting another human, but you make me feel and sound sane, and you make me believe that I have the capacity and ability to care for someone, After all, I’d be a terrible Doctor if I left you for dead.” he leans forward connecting both of your foreheads.

“All I want now is for you to relax and get out of your own head, okay?” He looks at you, waiting for your answer.

“Alright.” You say weakly, “But can we stay like this?” you ask shyly, blushing a bit.

“As long as you want.” he plainly replies as he gently brushes and plays with your hair.

He just held you as the TARDIS drifted away in space as you slowly fell asleep in his arms. Noticing this, he smiled a bit as he carefully carried you to the bunk beds on board, instead of placing you in your upper bunk, he placed you in his bed on the lower bunk.

After placing you on his bed, he just sat on the edge of the bed for a bit, making sure you were fast asleep, not wanting to breach your privacy, he stood up, but stopped as he felt your hand grabbing his wrist.

“Please stay.” you ask, “I want you to rest as well.”

“You know I don’t sleep, right?” he scratches his head.

“Don’t care.” you pulled him into the small bed, making him lay next to you,

Blushing, he just stayed quiet, and slowly, both of you slowly fell asleep.

Bonus: 

You wake up with arms wrapped around you tightly, you look over to see the Doctor’s peaceful but asleep look, moving a bit to adjust, he suddenly mumbles, “don’t move, 5 more minutes, love.” he sleeptalks, making you blush a bit.

Gently waking the Doctor by shaking him a bit, “I thought you wanted to explore and kick Dalek butt?” you whispered as you didn’t want to be too loud.

“Nope, I like this, and I changed my mind, I want this to last longer so shush.” He was awake but didn’t bother to open his eyes, as he pulled you closer.

You just quietly giggled and rolled your eyes as you just stayed there, enjoying the peaceful moment, making it a core memory with your Doctor.

=============================

Author’s Note:

I hope ya’ll like this fic I wrote when my brain was half asleep and was trying it’s best to form words and sentences that make sense. so yeah, hope to catch up with the requests aaaaa

[anamazingangie]

gauche // Rhaenyra x Daemon 🐈

🐈 Rated E 🐈 39.5k words 🐈 Complete 🐈 by AmazingAngie 🐈

This beast is a lighthearted modern AU in which the universe gives Daemon a cat, who turns into Rhaenyra, who turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to him. There is an adjustment period though, because she is kind of hard to explain- and she also makes him really really hard.

The story is told over nine chapters, mostly from Daemon POV but with insight from his assistant, chef, and maid who all have thoughts on the pretty girls peculiar behavior. AND includes a lil epilogue! :)

Official Summary:

Daemon finds a kitten in the pouring rain and he isn’t a monster, ok? He didn’t expect to keep it. And he DEFINITELY didn’t expect it to turn into that.  Or: Rhaenyra is a cat until she’s not

tags: Modern AU, Familiars, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Attempt at Humor, daemon's unique moral compass, when you're so lonely the universe gives you a cat and then she turns into your girlfriend, surprise it has a plot now and somnophilia and incest!, rhaenyra is a human for the vast majority of this fic, her cat characteristics are emotional not physical, rhaenyra hates clothing and is hungry for cream

💕🐈 Read on Ao3  🐈💕

Individual chapter summaries and banners below the cut!

🐈 Chapter One 🐈

In which Daemon discovers a cat and is feels too guilty to leave it behind to shiver in the cold rain.

...and in which he wakes to discover the cat is no longer a cat at all.

🐈 Chapter Two 🐈

When he had regained the ability to move, Daemon scrambled out of bed, pushing the girl off his legs in the process. She tumbled into his bedding and looked up at him, her forehead creased into a frown.   “I wanted the cream.” She whimpered, her gaze pleading, as she reached towards his dick which was very  confused, but still very hard. It almost looked proud, as if its height was a testament to the perseverance of mankind and his personal libido.  He brushed her hand away and pulled a sheet up to cover himself somewhat, even though the girl seemed unconcerned with nudity. She was naked too, and fuck if it wasn’t glorious. Truly, It said a lot about just how fucking hot she was that he was distracted by that and not the fact she had been a cat just a few hours ago. 

🐈 Chapter Three 🐈

Daemon is forced to leave her behind while he tends to a work emergency. His assistant is unimpressed when tasked with finding clothing for the girl. Especially when Daemon offers a bra size estimate and nothing else.

Plus! chef!Laena and her POV on the pantless girl in Daemon's apartment.

🐈 Chapter Four 🐈

Rhaenyra is unimpressed with her new wardrobe. Daemon is TOO impressed in her new underwear. A trip to Macy's is made to buy something more modest- but it ends in his humiliation, too.

Rhaenyra is unfazed and delighted to finally get the collar she has been asking for.

And they both ask google some questions about her.

🐈 Chapter Five 🐈

“Have you ever had a bath before?” He asked the girl, who nodded, “When I was a human.”  Oh good. So her last memory of water was hopefully a positive one.  “Do you want a bath now?” He asked, but her eyes narrowed like it was a trap.  “No.” She said, firmly.  “Human’s take baths, Rhaenyra.” He said, equally firm.  She brightened considerably, “Oh—so we’d take one together?”  “No. Definitely not.”  She was back to glaring. “Why not?”  His mouth opened and closed, “It’s inappropriate.”  Still glaring, “Why?”  How could he possibly explain this to her?  “It’s something people in relationships do.”  She looked nonplussed, “We’re in a relationship. I’m your pet.”  “It’s—people who don’t have a sexual relationship don’t bathe together, Rhaenyra.”  She smiled, “Okay—so we’ll have sex first!”  “No.” He insisted. 

🐈 Chapter Six 🐈

Day two with his Rhaenyra. Humanity is returning to her brain at last, she is still a handful but she is one who remembers where she came from.

Or, rather, who her father is.

It's someone Daemon knows too. Sort of. Because they are technically brothers.

🐈 Chapter Seven 🐈

“Rhaenyra.” He hissed, only to get a sleepy. “Hmmm?” In response.  “Did you pretend to be asleep just to get out of wearing clothes?” He asked, almost aghast.  He felt her shift, tilting her head so she could shower his chest in kisses.  “That isn’t an answer.” He said firmly.  “Don’t be mad at me,” she pleaded, followed by,  “It isn’t my fault that it worked.”  He snorted. “I’m not mad at you.” He said, and he meant it—he was mad at himself for falling for it.  He sighed, stroking her soft hair and enjoying how warm she was. How could he possibly be mad at that? “Goodnight, kitten.” He said, as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.  He was almost looking forward to the morning. To spending more time with her. God he really was fucked.  But as long as he didn’t actually fuck her it was fine.  Or, that was what he told himself—it helped him sleep at night.

🐈 Chapter Eight 🐈

Daemon's maid comes to tidy things and ends up dirtying someone's mind in the process. Rhaenyra might have hissed at the vacuum cleaner and her offer to help change the sheets went unaccepted when she refused to stop sitting on the sheets.

Meanwhile, Daemon's dick is very confused. It isn't helped by Rhaenyra's incessant texting of her new discoveries (and photos) found while googling human cream.

🐈 Chapter Nine 🐈

“I want kittens.” She told Daemon, pouting up at him from her place on the floor. He was nearby—on the couch—on his laptop—ignoring her.  The jerk.  Sometimes she mourned the days where she could show her displeasure by peeing on things. She knew that was inappropriate human adult behavior but ugh. How else was she supposed to train him? “Daemon.” She reached out, tickling the bottom of his foot to get his attention and giggling as he jerked and swore, laptop slipping onto the cushion beside him.  Good.  “I want kittens.” She repeated now that she had his attention. The ones surrounding her at that moment obviously didn’t count. They were from the rescue, under her 24/7 at home care given their small size and age. It was a responsibility she was soon granted, given the creature's obvious ease around her, no matter what background they came from. But they weren’t hers.  Daemon shook his head. “You are enough for me, kitten, I can’t handle another.” He said.  That was their deal—she could foster kittens but not adopt any. Not yet. But obviously, she wasn’t talking about real kittens. She huffed, turning back to the fluffy tabby that had crawled onto her chest. It butted against her breast and wailed. She sighed apologetically, “Sorry, I can’t make cream like daddy does.”  Daemon made a strangled noise behind her, whether to the reference to cream or to him being a daddy, she wasn’t sure. She didn’t really care. She was distracted, stroking the kitten that nuzzled more insistently against the little nub that protruded from the printed cotton of her bra.  I can’t make cream like daddy does, yet. She thought to herself.  Maybe soon, though.

those give you a taste but as i said, the whole thing is on ao3!

comments mean a lot as do likes and reblogs :)

💕🐈 Read on Ao3  🐈💕

[purpureumwrites]

Azriel x Witch!Reader | Electric Blue Ch. 2

Pairing: Azriel x Reader Chapters: Chapter 1 , Chapter 3, Chapter 4 Word count: 1.9k Warnings: None Summary: Reader is half-breed witch, insecure but powerful, who just can’t resist Azriel. And she can't seem to stop ruining her chances with him. A/N: If SJM made everyone in the Inner Circle overpowered, then so is the reader right? I hope you like this :D Thanks everyone for reading

Your eyes darted everywhere. The obscene figures in the walls, the spiteful looks from the fae that you crossed… Hewn City was just as described. Not even the others were spared from the looks of disapproval. Not even Rhysand, their High Lord. He had explained to you the situation beforehand, but you had doubts, assumed he might be exaggerating. You had none now.

He and Feyre had also warned you about the roles they all played when they visited the Court of Nightmares and instructed you to follow three simple rules: not show emotion, not speak unless they ordered me to and to treat them extrictly as High Lord and High Lady. Easy, you thought. Keep silent and invisible. And the people there clearly hated them so much that you barely drew any attention.

When the group reached the throne room, you positioned yourself with the rest, a few steps behind Cassian and Azriel. You didn’t get to see the whole performance, as they were both way taller than you, but you were glad. You had no interest in whatever this was and wasn’t paying attention. Someone approached the throne, would try to get something from Rhysand, he would play the bad, cruel lord, and some bickering would ensue. Repeat. You were soon completely distracted and mentally far away from the place. At least, until the word “human” reached your ears. When you looked ahead, you peeked a male fae pointing in your direction. Both Azriel and Cassian had tense stances now. 

“Yes, you!”, the unknown fae screamed.

By the time your brain catched up with what was going on -someone was really mad that not only their half-fae High Lord was there, but that he had brought an actual human with him into their court- Azriel had already launched himself towards him and held him by his neck with the most enraged stare you had ever seen. 

Nevertheless, you couldn’t say you were fazed by the situation. When you are born in Prythian looking completely human, you get used to the denigrating behaviour of the average fae. It was imprinted at this point. The sense of inadequacy, the feeling of not belonging, not even in your own birthplace.

“Azriel”, you called him. “It’s okey” 

“It’s not” 

“Stop-it” 

He frowned and it took a few seconds for him to throw the fae to the floor. On purpose, most probably, he threw him against the cold marble with great force, the sound of his body hitting the stone the only thing breaking the silence in the throne room.

Dangerously fast, Azriel was right in front of you, staring down at you. Furious.

“He doesn’t get to disrespect you like that”, he growled.

“Still, I can defend myself”

You saw the skepticism in his eyes and, honestly, you preferred the hate and disgust over the belittling look he gave you. He was one of the strongest illyrians and spymaster of the Night Court, he could make any fae tremble at the thought of him, no wonder he would consider pretty much anyone else weaker and helpless. But there was a reason Rhysand had vehemently insisted for you to join his court. The trinkets and the little magic tricks were fun, a distraction, but your magic was way more than that. And it rarely ever happened, but right now, you were fuming.

“I’m not Elain… or the other one, I don’t need your help”, you fumed. “I-don’t-need-saving”

You hated it. How the males in the circle behaved sometimes, all defensive and protective. Maybe you were just jealous, maybe you were just frustrated. Maybe, just maybe, you wanted some of that but at the same time wished to not be looked at as a little fragile human. The bitterness you usually hid had years, decades to brew. It might have been the first time someone defended you and the feeling was so bizarre that weren’t sure how to feel about it. So instead, you were furious.

The angry look in Azriel’s eyes suddenly changed to confusion and then, a hint of guilt.

“You’re not the only one that knows how to be scary”, you took a few steps around him, pointed with your hand to the fae now getting up from the floor.

Oh, the sweet humming of magic, of your actual magic. The one that felt the most natural to you, warming up every inch of your skin, making you feel like there was nothing to fear but yourself. The wind started to blow and the domed ceiling above darkened where clouds started gathering. You took a deep breath, enjoying the flowing of your clothes and the humid smell of the air. And then, the rain dropped.

When you heard the whispers among the fae, most of them now wet and a few skilled enough that could shield themselves from the water like the Inner Circle was, probably thanks to Rhysand’s power, you opened your eyes and stared at the fae in front of you.

“Let this be a lesson”, you declared as lightning struck his body in a sudden flash.

Rhysand smirked.

***

Mor winnowed you back to Velaris. The moment you crossed the door, you took of your shoes and let out a sigh. You went straight to the kitchen to pour yourself a warm coffee before heading to your room for the rest of the day. While you stirred it, you heard steps behind.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect you to do so well”, Rhysand smiled.

Now that you were calm and collected again, you were kind of embarrassed. You weren’t one to give a spectacle or to lose your temper like that. And the moment you walked out from the throne room and you met Azriel’s unreadable face had left you with an increasing sense of guilt.

“Neither did I”, you answered with a bitter laugh.

“And I don’t mean to intrude, but Azriel was upset. He’s grown more fond of you than you might think. I haven’t told the rest the extent of your power either, since I wasn’t that sure myself. Az had his fair share of the same treatment, he understands how you feel”

“I… will talk to him. I don’t know what got into me”, you admitted.

***

When you knocked at Azriel’s door, there was no answer. He spent a lot of time away so it was no surprise. Truth be told, you were relieved, you weren’t one for confrontations.

At midnight, you had passed out sitting on your bed with a romantic book Nesta had recommended on your lap. A knock on your door woke you up. You left the book on your bed and got up to answer. Azriel.

“Rhysand said you wanted to talk to me”, he stated, no expression on his face.

“Um… yes, do you want to come in?”, you asked stepping aside.

He took a few steps and looked around your room. It wasn’t the tidiest. There were piles of books in random places, a cauldron with some cold conconction in it since you had put out the fire before leaving and didn’t bother to empty it, trinkets and jewelry, ingredients in jars, incense burning… You didn’t plan to have this conversation here but it was better than the middle of the hallway.

You took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry”

“What for?”

You frowned.

“About what I said down there. It’s just… I’m not used to someone protecting me and I snapped. I felt small and I spent all that time trapped in that tower working on my powers so that I could defend myself and I didn’t have to feel like a useless, powerless woman any longer. So that, even if I didn’t act on it, I would know I could give hell to any fae that crossed me”, you blurted and took another big breath. “I don’t like disgusting looks aimed at me, but pity ones I like even less”

“I-”, he stopped speaking when you gestured him to wait with a hand.

“And about that comment about Elain and Gwyn, I didn’t mean it. You’re free to like whoever, however you want. And… I don’t mean to overstep, but you don’t have to earn them or be their saviour, or whatever thing that you have going on”, you took a pause. “Well, I did just overstep. I’m not used to speaking this much”

You tried to hold his stare but failed. A few seconds went by in silence.

“I didn’t defend you because I thought you couldn’t, I will not allow anyone to speak like that to a member of this family”

Family. Ouch?

“Then I’m even more sorry”, you answered covering your face with your hands.

He shook his head.

“I know how it feels to be treated like that, I couldn’t stand it”, he confided. “About the other… thing, I have nothing to say about it”

And that was it. The hint of passion that had peeked when talking about his friends had disappeared with that last sentence. He probably hadn’t appreciated it, but you really felt like it had to be said. Maybe by someone else? Too late now anyway.

“I should go”, he said already walking to the door and turning the knob.

“Right… Oh, wait!”, you started rambling around the room.

A few weeks back you had made something for him. In your imagination, the scene was supposed to be romantic but, at this point, there were close to no chances of anything like that happening. Maybe you could use it to apologize for being nosy. Even if you weren’t. Even if you just ached seeing him with other women.

He watched you walking back and forth with a confused look in his eyes.

“Here!”

You pulled the small jar from a drawer. It was filled with a light blue, thick liquid. You walked to him and held it up for him to see.

“It’s a salve. I made it for you, for your hands. You just…”, you nodded for him to take it and took his other hand. You noticed his change in demeanor. Was he… shy? Perhaps you were overstepping yet again by touching his scarred hand without permission. “…take a little bit and apply it making round motions, like this”, you gestured barely touching him. “It should hydrate your skin, make less itchy and a bit more flexible”, you put back his hand next to him as delicately as possible before taking a step back.

He stood there, stiff and unmoving, for a few seconds, before answering.

“T-thank you”

“If there’s anything else, just let me know. I’m sure I can come out with something to help”

He nodded. His eyes pensive, he took some time to turn the knob again and this time, finally opened the door.

“Good night”, he turned to say before closing it behind him.