#I’m not sure who actually it’d be funniest for him to say it to

[theshadowrealmitself]

Peter Parker, terrible at lying, trying to explain why he’s in Wade Wilson’s apartment without revealing that he’s there for Spiderman related reasons, looking the Avenger’s straight in the eyes and claiming he’s Wade’s life coach

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

First of all, I just want to say. I called it lol

Finally an sskk face off since the sacrifice. I am going insane. I can’t articulate all my thoughts rn but something about the way Atsushi aimed a kick at Akutagawa that he fully expected the guy to block (because they know each other’s usual fighting styles!!!) only for it to connect and hurt him; Atsushi begging Akutagawa to recognize him because even if he still can’t consciously admit it, Atsushi has become convinced that Akutagawa wouldn’t be attacking him like this if he knew it was him; pleading for him to snap out of it and demanding to know why he saved him aghhhhh I’m going feral we know the reason Atsushi we know whyyyyy

I can’t believe it actually. We are at the point where sskk do not want to genuinely hurt each other. Atsushi attacked only out of self defence and was taken aback by actually breaking his wrist. Akutagawa refused to kill Atsushi in the Fukuchi fight and Atsushi is now convinced he’d stop attacking if he recognized him. Holy shit. Oh my god.

And Sigma badass moment! My boy, he pulled through! Either him or Chuuya had to break the stalemate; hell yeah, validation. Wasn’t there a meme someone made? “Prison arc -> prison arc if Sigma still had a gun”? Well Sigma’s got a gun and things are picking up babyyyy! His retort to Fyodor was quite possibly the funniest thing he could’ve said in response. Just completely shut him down. Using what he’s learned running the empty home Fyodor previously tried to buy his trust with. Beautiful. ADA Sigma real??? (I think the story will have to acknowledge his very public involvement with Taneda’s shooting and the acts of terrorism the Hunting Dogs now know he is responsible for… so I’m not sure how that will go but I’d like to see him end up with the Agency tbh… so long as it makes sense.)

Things I did not expect:

Mysterious note left in Russian??? It could be Mykola I suppose but… why? What happened? If he’s actually in trouble I doubt he’d need help escaping. Is it a trap? But what for? Alternatively… could it be Pushkin? He was in Meursault initially right? We never found out what his connection was. It could be a new Russian author too! Intriguing! There’s also the matter of it being written in Russian in the first place - who is it meant for? Sigma specifically? Or is it meant for someone else who speaks Russian?

Dazai is actually injured! I was certain he had something ready to get out on his own but I like this much better. Tbh I know this sounds bad but I’m actually way more invested now that Dazai has a broken leg and Fyodor was just shot. There’s higher stakes, you know? Damn though. I think Dazai’s injuries are. Worse. He’s being terribly self-sacrificial, and is apparently going to face off against Chuuya next time we see him. I do think now the stakes would be too low if Chuuya was completely free of the brainwashing tbh… I’m hoping for a double “I know you’re in there” fight between skk and sskk. Not that Dazai can do much physically but his strength has always been with words anyways, and I am certain Chuuya’s already fighting back. And I know Atsushi will reach Akutagawa. Manifesting sskk reunion where they challenge Fukuchi again and win this time via the power of unbreakable trust (delusional).

Sigma asks Fyodor “WHAT are you?” Which is interesting, and I’m hoping will acknowledge the way Fyodor doesn’t seem to age… but also intriguing is the “getting closer” part on the side which implies he’s not quite right. I think Fyodor will still turn out to be human tbh (it’d be weird otherwise, thematically), but now I’m starting to lend a little more weight to that theory about a Fyodor double…

Well anyways. This was a lot. I’m going to helplessly whir about it for a bit now.

[weirdmageddon]

ur davejade posting has me Remembering and goddddd. theyre so good. thank u

i want to make a davejade analysis masterpost but the funniest thing with these asks is that theyre the ones that really prompt me to put my thoughts together in some direction and i ALWAYS find a new implication or connection to talk about. like while i’m writing the connections will just make themselves known. if i made a masterpost i’d have to update it every time i think of something new which defeats the purpose of a masterpost because it’d never be finished. so i just like to spitball into separate posts and just shove them in my davejade tag. i was NOT expecting to get back into homestuck with davejade at the forefront but i can see things now i didnt then

im gonna go off again because it’s so obvious to me on this jumpy scrambled “reread” that dave has a fat fucking heart-on / affection erection for jade. hes tryin soo hard to be cool but hes like this with jade actually behind the screen and she knows it

words and deeds of a court jester dude who totally has a crush on his childhood internet friend and doesnt acknowledge it (btw this is woefully incomplete for the sake of brevity but i could elaborate in another post. i actually have a draft (edit: posted) with a shit ton of more analysis stuff in it on why he acts differently with her than other characters):

the next day (chronologically) when jade messages him:

hussie commentary: “Dave's one-pixel-smile there means that there are literally more than ten thousand drawings on the internet of Dave and Jade kissing. That pixel literally made that happen.”

i mean … it sure is easy to assume how he feels about jade based on the way he talks to her and when his sprite only ever smiles one other time in the entire fucking comic and the reality of that other one was arguable since it was during [S] Karkat: Mental breakdown and its likely karkat was hallucinating it based on the content and context of the flash

nah this one was real. and it was from the first conversation we saw between dave and jade in the comic and thus set the standard for their dynamic. and remember old school 2009 dave was kind of a menace so it says a lot

this girl was special enough to him to warrant that pixel

jade calling dave a “huge baby” for him getting nervous about a piss while she’s his server player. he makes such a big deal about it while shes like oh my god just go:

and the absurdity of the situation being one of his favorite memories

i know pesterquest isn’t “canon” canon but it passes my character essence check and still contributes something of substance to my argument. like i can say this is not at all out of place if these characters were plopped into these scenarios. remember this takes place on the same day as the above, 4/13/2009. theyre the same age as above and have the same relationship as they did above, just in a different scenario that wasn’t possible in canon wherein they didn’t play sburb

Jade wanders away from that window and toward another one, whose view is exclusively centered on the rolling blue. She presses a hand against the misty pane and sighs. JADE: you know, dave talks a lot about coming to visit me here. i mean, all of my friends do but dave especially JADE: in his usual davey way of course, which means making lots of jokes and not sounding very serious about it JADE: "yeah im itching to put on my safari hat and come traipsing down to doomdeath archipelago to get my ass murdered by infinidog the eldritch retriever," stuff like that JADE: i know he really means it though! he wants to see me, just like i want to see him JADE: but its just wishful thinking

anyway daves reaction to seeing his isolated online friend for the first time irl cry because she has guests. its even better with the character sprites

JADE: we can play with all my toys and jam out to some music and stay up all night chatting with each other and oh my god oh my god youre here youre all here this is really happening!!!!! Jade's next laugh verges on hysterical and she's got tears streaked down her cheeks. Dave looks a little perturbed. DAVE: wow holy shit uh DAVE: its cool jade no need to get so DAVE: like this DAVE: kind of fucks me up seeing you cry DAVE: not that im trying to make this all about me DAVE: i mean uh

and so after mspa reader’s intervention, who do we see with jade the next time we see her?

dave. and hes goofing with her squiddles while grinning

DAVE: okay so lets see what we got here Jade's room is bright and cheery, fresh flowers in the hanging pots, curtains pulled open wide to let in the afternoon sunlight. Jade sits on her bed while Dave paces in front of a line of squiddle toys, carefully assembled in neat ranks. DAVE: this blue one is clearly in charge look at his dominant posture DAVE: also hes the only motherfucker not tentacle deep in his homie DAVE: hes an untangled buddy that is some shit really cuts to the core of like DAVE: DAVE: emotions JADE: its actually because the magnets in him are messed up, and always have been!! DAVE: harley you are ruining the magic come on

basically what im putting together is that dave was REALLY fixin to spend some time with jade. extending into her sphere of interests that he doesnt express much with anyone else; you can tell he really wanted to engage with her in a less irony poisoned way. he’s softer with her than his other friends and god forbid the trolls, he is much less skeptical about things when talking to her (he even questions why he just seems to go along with her eccentric precognitive statements but he doesnt change his attitude about it), he showers her with his music and raps to the point where jade is expectant of getting poetry from him. rap IS poetry. please realize that dave is sending her his poetry, regardless of how goofy it may be. this is the level on which im viewing this at and once you realize this theres no going back. there comes a time in every homestuck’s life where they have to see how dave interacted jade and conclude that he had a cute little puppy crush on her unbeknownst to either of them. and it was adorable. and now, in the year 2023, it’s your time to realize this too. no going back.

and btw it all came back around…………………nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face

for a reason that wasnt a joke anymore

don’t think ive seen anyone talk about this parallel at the end to one of their first conversations in the comic. maybe somebody did back in the day but i never saw it

[cdyssey]

Hacks (1.09) Reactions:

I thought it’d be fun to do half incoherent write ups for the s1 finale episodes ☺️

Ava lying about a doctor’s appointment to catch her flight… this is not gonna end well. 😭😭

“But do me a favor. Will you stay off WebMD? It’s bad for your personality.” This is the fucking funniest show.

“Great. Love you, bye!” And Deborah looks up and stares at Ava as she runs off. Oh, my fucking godddd. The first “I love you” between them and it’s so beautifully casual, like it’s something that Ava has said to her a thousand times before.

Deb at Marty about embarrassing herself: “Oh, well, thanks for looking out for me, you condescending piece of shit.” get his ass!!!

They did a really job of casting Ruby. There’s a lot of chemistry between her and Ava. You can sense the history between them.

Deb so nervous and worked up about the new set that she hasn’t eaten. ;w;

Ruby notices that something is different about Ava, and Ava says she’s happy.

Ooough, Ava being caught by the subletter, and Marcus is on the other end of the line. Jesus, this isn’t gonna be good.

“His job is just a series of high-cholesterol lunches.” FJSKSKSSN

Now’s as good as of a time as any to mention this—this season has done a remarkable job of showing the subtle tensions between Deborah’s various employees. There was Damien and Josefina in the kitchen during DJ’s party. And slowly but surely, we’ve watched Marcus grow increasingly discomfited at possibly being edged out by Ava.

Like their ambitious boss, they’re all jostling for their positions in the hierarchy—to be number one, to be the person Deborah relies on. Jealousies emerge, and that feels so real and painful and human.

Ava walking with so much confidence to her interview is nice. Such a huge change from her pathetic loser girl status at the start of the season fjskjdmsks.

Deb wanting Ava to come over now, and Ava making up a lie about bloodwork. Girllllll.

“You’ve been through way worse than silence, Deborah.” 😭

Ava: “Trust me.” / Deborah: “Okay, okay. I do.” Sobbing. OH, GOD, and this on the heels of Marcus questioning Ava’s trustworthiness.

MARCUS TRYING TO SABOTAGE WOWWW. OH, GOD. MY GUT IS HURTING. I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS SM

“Okay, I’m getting my pussy waxed.” ALALWOQOFODKSKSOQA

Oh, jesus christ. The interviewers reveal the subject of the show, and Ava’s face immediately falls, and she’s immediately defensive because she’s gotten to KNOW Deb.

And she’s not a “crazy bitch.”

She’s someone that she loves.

And so she blows up this job to defend Deborah, even though Deborah is about to fucking find out that she was in LA in the first place. My Stomach is in Knots.

Ava tripping and her diva cup falling out of her bag after she tries to power walk away is perfect. Yeah

DON’T ANSWER THE JIMMY CALL NO

I’M SICK

FUCKING SICK

the heaviness in Deborah’s face. She trusted Ava, and trust does not come easily to her at all

“Actually, you made light of my dandruff problem and told me to fuck off, so we really don’t have to go there.” ALALAOSJSK

“And when you share a sense of humor with someone, it’s like finding someone who speaks your own, you know, private little language. And you make each other better. But his ambition got in the way, and he left me, and I was so scared because I thought I needed someone else and that I would never find anyone like him ever again.” HACKS WRITERS, GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

SHE’S TALKING ABOUT HER EX-HUSBAND AND CLEARLY THINKING ABOUT AVA

Stand-up not being scary to Deb because no one can disappoint her. :((

“Isn’t that a little lonely, though?” / “It’s just true.”

FUCK ME

I’M SO???

I’M

Deborah in the kitchen, her apron bloodied, as she filets a fish… and it takes you back to earlier in the season as she fishes quietly on the pier while Ava watches her late night show. And that moment was important because it was the first time Ava really connected to Deborah’s humor, when she discovered that Deborah makes her laugh.

Goddamn.

(Also, something, something about Deb having a lot of practical skills that I really appreciate—fishing, cooking, etc. it would have been super easy to make her helpless about those sorts of things, but giving her that touch of competence helps to ground her, I think. Makes her feel more real.)

Deb pretending like everything is okay, and Ava continuing to lie—god god god—while Marcus is surprised to see Ava still by Deb’s side in the kitchen. So many unspoken dynamics and tensions here.

Deborah’s hatchet comes down SO hard, and it’s silent condemnation.

It’s a taste of what’s to come for what can only be a fraught and emotionally painful finale.

FUCK ME, this show is good

[fumifooms]

My chapter 114 hopes are that Asa & Denji will be Miraculous Ladybug-ing all over the place— Making up dumb excuses to get separated while making sure the other is safe before going after the Eternity Devil believing they’re the only one who can save them from the mess, trying to keep their appearance as a totally normal human through it all “Hey what?? What happened to that devil that kept us trapped??” “Oh haha idk I guess Chainsaw Man found a way to come save us!! What a great guy right!!” “What” “Don’t worry about it” They’re not idiots despite significant evidence, so both of them would be like. “How come you didn’t die back there?” “Well ummm didn’t you know I’m an aspiring devil hunter!! Yep” Then the other finds it sus but remembers being an aspiring devil hunter is also their cover so they can’t act like it sounds fake. “Oh haha me too!! We make such a good pair!! Hahaha” “oh hahaha yeah haha” “hahaha” “haha…”. That or they just hate each other so much and seethe and are hanging onto their last shred of philanthropy to not leave the other behind for dead.

Someone else already pointed it out by Asa & Denji look like Marinette & Adrien from mlb and that is the funniest fricking shit ever. Take the love square but make it about eldritch entities and murderous betrayal.

You might say, but Fumi, he really wants his secret identity to be found out. Consider: they’re talking, and then Denji mentions Chainsaw Man will save them and Asa again says that she hates the guy, and this time Denji freezes and realizes blowing up his cover might actually get him to lose his date instead of win one. He already knows she dislikes him but if she speaks about her hatred of devils in general, plausible considering the eternity devil situation, getting all bloodlusty and tragic simultaneously + he got a bit more attached I think it could happen. And then it’d just add a glorious layer of fuckery, with Denji acutely aware that his secret identity is her hate boner. Or or, on the contrary, he  actually tries to make her find out in increasingly obvious and ridiculous ways but she’s set on believing he’s just a delusional fanboy. Either way I would be living and thriving for it.

Maybe they save a penguin together. Maybe the aquariums break in the fight. Maybe he sees her using her devil power, maybe- So many things could happen I need to exorcise my hyperfixation through writing fanfiction

[tuulikannel]

Tuuli's adventures on Mt. Hiei, once upon a time (with pics!)

Storytime! This happened on Feb 2018 when I was on student exchange in Kyoto. I’m half wondering if I even want to tell you all about this, but… heh, it’s kind of a funny story, anyway. ^^ It came to my mind when jackiewepps talked about missing the last train in Japan.

Anyway, I spent half a year living basically at the root of Mt. Hiei, the holy mountain of Kyoto, and I always planned hiking it. Somehow it just didn’t happen, and then I had less than a week left in Japan. All days were booked except one, and on the night before I checked the weather forecast which was quite nice, and decided that it’s now or never. So I googled a while about stuff, figuring from where the path starts etc. The plan was climb up there, check out the temples & the summit, and then take the cable car back down.

Off I went then! This pic is taken from very close to where I lived, like I said, Hieizan was close by.

I took the Kirara-oka trail. (Kirara! Hazama, is that you?) Luckily I’d read online that the first part was hardest, or I might have been somewhat discouraged. There were also times when the path (if it can be called that) divided and I wasn’t sure which way to go. I always took the one that seemed to be going (more) upward, and apparently that was the right decision.

Somewhere along the way I came across this. It was there in the middle of the mountain, all by itself. I don’t know who/what that is, but I had a little pause there, offered some of my water, and said that I’m just an idiot gaijin who isn’t sure what she’s doing, so I’d appreciate all help on this hike, to not get lost…

Some random pics I took on the way

Well, I found the summit without trouble. By then it had gotten pretty cloudy. You can see Lake Biwa from there, on the opposite side from Kyoto, and I sort of did see it, but it isn’t visible in any of the pics I took. Anyway, before I went to the summit I walked around the temple areas. And sorry these statues with their knitted hats were just too cute!

Random pics from the temple area

Anyway, then it was finally time to get down. I started heading to the cable car… only to find out that it doesn’t operate in winter. (This was at the very end of February, it would have started running in March. >_>) There was a bus stop on the summit. I went there… and the last bus had gone 15 min earlier, at half past 4 pm.

okay. So I am there at a mountain top with no transport down, and it’d start getting dark in one hour - and when it gets dark, it gets dark. It had taken me closer to two hours to get up there, but of course, I had been taking my time, and going down might be easier than going up. Still, I couldn’t be sure I’d get down before dark.

There were a few cars in the parking lot at the summit. As I stood there, pondering about my options (should I got to knock on the temple doors to ask for shelter for a tired pilgrim XD) I noticed that there was a man sitting in one of them, and went to ask him if there was any other way to get down. (There was, of course, the motor road, but it had signs to forbid pedestrians.)

Anyway, he confirmed what I already knew, no buses or anything this “late” during winter. And then he offered me a ride (which I had kind of been hoping). I had to wait a short while, as he was someone working in the area and was waiting for his coworkers before he could leave, but honestly, that was fine for me! The funniest part? He could have been literally from anywhere around the mountain, but he lived in the same part of Kyoto where my dorm was. At first I was wondering if he was just saying so, but for one thing, he knew exactly where the dorm was, and after he dropped me off, I saw him turn into a residential area from where you can’t really get anywhere.

Huh. Thankfully, back then, after having spent half a year in Japan, I actually could speak some Japanese (unlike now). And, uh, I guess I really should offer that stone thing on the mountain my thanks for making it down safely… ^^;;

But honestly, this is all kinds of ridiculous. I’m someone who always plans things very carefully. Back in the days with no internet on the phone (yep, I’m old enough to remember that XD) I literally drew myself maps and wrote down the bus timetables and routes when I just did a daytrip to another town here in Finland. And then I go to climb a freaking mountain in Japan without checking how to get down from there? Unbelievable. XD

[tokiro07]

Cipher Academy ch.26 thoughts

[Does Among Us Count as a Puzzle Game?]

...I’m so god damn stupid...”the four of us”, “you don’t want Iroha to end up like Shutan”...it was staring me in the face and I missed it by a mile...I didn’t even have to get to Toshusai asking for Nutaba to be on the team, page one put the pieces into place instantly. Normally I like to go back and reread previous chapters when lines like that come up to try to get an idea of what they’re referring to, but since I’ve been so busy lately, I ended up skipping that step for the sake of finishing the review. I’ll try to be more diligent going forward!

I was right about the structure of the competition, though: Iroha will have a different five-person cell in each match, and the final match will be a three-way battle between the winners of the three matches of the first round. I’m sure Nisio will find some way to twist it around, but it’s going exactly as I expected so far

Also, WOW IS IT OBVIOUS NOW THAT I KNOW THE IROHA HERE IS FAKE! I didn’t notice on first read, but his hair-clips are on the wrong side! Very convenient for cluing eagle-eyed viewers in, but also really sloppy for an undercover agent. Hokiboshi establishes herself as someone you want to see get hers pretty much immediately, and Yugata delivers

I would like to know exactly what Yugata means by people like Hokiboshi being her specialty. I’ll conjecture that she means smug or overconfident people until we know a bit more

When Hokiboshi introduces the puzzle, Toshusai notes that there are 240 possible combinations, which is frankly the single funniest line that has been said in this entire series, at least to me. If you’re not familiar with the concept of Goroawase, 240 can be pronounced “ni-shi-oh,” which is also why Nisio Isin’s insignia is a clock set to 2:40. A cute detail, to say the least

The imagery of Yugata literally shattering Hokiboshi leaves such an impact, I feel like I could actually hear the glass breaking! I hope we continue to get fun visuals associated with the cast like that going forward, I think it’d be a fun artistic spin that could help get readers on board

It also feels a bit more believable that Hokiboshi was traumatized by Yugata solving the puzzle without touching it and only half of the pieces known to her, as that must seem like it’s completely impossible to anyone else. As it happens though, this puzzle lines up with the lipogram battle, as that established that Yugata is specifically skilled with omission-based word puzzles

Backing up a bit, Toshusai’s moment of humility in asking Iroha to let the Toshusai Faction face off against Class E speaks volumes of the gravity of the situation. Of course, it’s well within her established character to do that sort of thing for a friend, as I’ve been referring to her as a Friendship character for the past...ten chapters now? Perhaps we’ll get to see how she became a Friendship character in her backstory

This wasn’t a super dense chapter, so I don’t think I have much else to say here, but I won’t complain about a fast chapter if it’s this exciting! We got to see Class E’s underhanded methods (replacing Iroha, sending in agents to slow him down), we got a clear breakdown of Class A’s factions (very interesting that Iroha thinks Anonymity gets along with Mamushihishimeki, can’t wait to see why), and a hard-hitting moment from Yugata! Short, sweet, easy to understand, and character-rich. Those fools who can’t handle Cipher Academy for being “too wordy” don’t know what they’re missing!

I hope that we’re going to get more insight into Yugata going forward, but the point of this chapter wasn’t for that, it was to make her look cool as hell, and it accomplished that goal with flying colors. I figure Nisio is holding off on delving into her character for later, since she seems likely to be the best Cipher Soldier in Class A holding herself back for Toshusai’s sake, so hopefully CA gets to go long enough for us to get the payoff for her. I anticipate that we’re going to get some real characterization for the rest of the group, though, especially if Kubinashi is explicitly tied to Omomuro and Nutaba’s stories

Still hoping that this arc lights a flame in the fandom, and this chapter really gives me hope! It feels like a more traditional battle manga with Nisio’s characteristically snappy flow, which I think is what would show off the series’ strengths while appealing to a more general audience. Here’s hoping we see some notable improvement sales soon, cus I’d hate to see this series get snuffed out when it’s only getting better and better for me

See y’all next week!

[miracleweaponhunt]

Miracle Weapon Hunt Chapter 29: Cameras and a Little Privacy

Everyone was annoyed by the news reporters. Not just the ones from ShiShi, but all over. Ropear, Saoloro, Vannana and Sandala all had their own news station being sure to interview as many of the rulers as they could. Most of them were used to it, giving bland answers to satiate them or going out of their way to avoid them.

“Rory. Can you answer the questions people have about-“

“Fuck off, I already said it.” Rory said. “Go talk to my people if you want an answer.”

“I’m not entirely sure what to even say, it was all so sudden.” Was Kazumi’s usual response. “And so little time into my presidency before it all happens.” Then she would leave looking dejected and leave the news staff to find someone else. Usually Zach, who was nothing but keen to attempt to put the worries of the people at ease.

“Look, I have plans in place to assure the safety of everyone. The people back in Fightston are working on training as many new recruits as soon as possible to grands that need them. Any mayors of surrounding ships are more than free to contact us in the hopes of having a few soldiers. We want nothing more than for the Skyspace to continue to prosper.” Cassandra watched as he gave that exact speech, without fail, every time, in the same tone. It was actually kind of impressive. Hopefully someone with editing skills could layer them all and it’d end up on Skyspace’s funniest videos or something. She herself was playing a one-sided game of hide and seek around them with Roxanne, and they were all relentless. One from Saoloro had already got Julian, and the two of them were stuck making sarcastic comments at each other in an infinite loop of smartass.

“You think Willow’s stuck talking to one of them?” Roxanne asked, checking the corner for another one.

“No idea.” Cassandra replied. “How long until we get to eat?”

“Let me check…about twenty minutes.”

“Awesome.”

Julian eventually joined them in avoiding cameramen after he won the battle of wits, at least according to him. The three went around the castle’s walls, avoiding anyone they could, even if it wasn’t a cameraman. Being surrounded by the most influential people in the world was actually kind of boring, in all honestly. The three snuck their way onto the roof, where nobody was waiting.

“So is this where we’re waiting until the food?” Julian asked, looking over the city surrounding the castle. Nice lavish looking houses outside the castle with some shopping streets a small bit away. Behind those were some apartment complexes in a neatly polished white.

“Nice place.” He said to himself.

“You think?” Willow asked.

Roxanne jumped at Willow casually standing behind her.

“How long were you there?” She screamed.

“About two minutes after I joined.” Julian said casually. “Honestly, I just wanted to see how long it would take you to notice.”

“Seems I’m forgettable.” Willow said with a dramatic sigh.

“Not at all!” Roxanne yelled back. Cassandra just put a hand on her shoulder.

“So Willow, if I can ask something?” Julian interjected. “Any problems with this place I can know about?”

“What you mean?” Willow asked, joining him in looking over the grand.

“I don’t know, a seedy underbelly or something? Something that would make someone…join a weird cult dedicated to destroying it or another grand, for instance.”

“Got it.” Willow said with a sigh. “Well, I think the main one would be the lack of compensation some people are getting further out.”

“Like on the subships?”

“Further out here. The islands near the edge. Most of them deal with fishing. But it has their own issues, you see. Being separate from the mainland to allow fish societies to integrate more naturally means these fishermen either have to live by themselves or make their families live in more run-down areas. And all for pretty bad pay.”

“Bad pay, huh?”

“Anyone could catch a fish; you don’t need to learn anything special to do it. That’s the reasoning behind paying them less, despite them being arguably the most important people over here.”

“And if they were promised a better life fishing in a new society by the legion, maybe they could join them and poison the fish, or turn a blind eye to their ships.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, hopefully a certain eldest daughter steps up and takes care of things while we have to fight the big battles.”

“Sure thing.” Willow said after a moment of hesitation. Julian thought it would be interesting to press her mother further, but considering his antics yesterday, that would probably had him marked for death.

“So should we get going?” Roxanne asked. “Dinner’s in five.”

Javier was already waiting for the four of them when dinner started. There were only four chairs when they got to their table from yesterday. Everyone was sitting where they were the previous day, when a servant put a calm hand on Roxanne’s shoulder.

“I’ve been told you have a meeting with Rory.” He said calmly. “He’s at the other end of the room.”

The servant pointed her over to the table Rory and Gurpreet were sitting at. The two were making casual conversation that didn’t seem to interest either of them, and she quietly inserted herself on the lone empty chair between the two of them.

Gurpreet looked at her, but didn’t pass much heed, while Rory leaned in a little to glare at her.

“And what would you be doing here?” He asked, raising a thin grey eyebrow at her.

“I was told you wish to talk to me?” Roxanne replied, leaning back while secretly praying her chair didn’t tip over.

“I didn’t wish shite!” He snapped back.

“Be nice.” His wife said flatly.

“Sorry, sorry.” He began again, calmer this time. “I didn’t ask for you. You must be thinking of someone else.”

“But Freyja told me to come here.” Roxanne said. “I thought it might be something to do with the bow?”

“Ah, your group isn’t responsible for that. Don’t worry about it too much.”

“You sure?”

“How old are you?” Gurpreet asked.

“Eighteen.”

“So the fate of the world has been trusted to an eighteen-year-old and her friends. You have enough stresses, don’t let us add to them.”

So with her effectively shut down, the food was served. Roxanne just got what she had yesterday, still tasted as good. Rory and Gurpreet continued their own conversation, with Rory’s throaty laugh erupting over what Roxanne took as a minor statement. Some kind of inside joke, probably. Gurpreet’s wife gave a relaxed smile, so the shock was shown externally.

She stayed silent throughout the meal, not having much important to stay. Eventually the food was finished, and all the leaders and heroes were moved to the dance hall. Just like it was rehearsed, the classical music started playing and people either started dancing or mingling with drinks. Julian and Cassandra started dancing well as they practiced, occasionally having to stop for a little to allow the other couples to move past them. Willow and Javier also started moving around the room together. They also had it down, even if they weren’t as graceful and started to brush against the other dancers at times. The couples danced together, fathers danced with their daughters, it was all such a lovely display of the unity the Skyspace was showing.

Willow was bored. She noticed Roxanne taking a glass of juice after being denied alcohol, standing around in her cute attempt to be casual.

“Javier, how thirsty are you?” She asked.

“A little.” Javier replied. Understatement of the century, the room was making him sweat so much anywhere he stepped probably needed a hazard sign afterward.

“Same here, I’ll go get us something.”

Willow looked around for her mom. Talking to Mia and Kazumi while taking sips from her wine glass, more sophisticated than usual. She found Roxanne, guiding her over to Freyja’s blind spot.

“Hey Roxy, wanna get out of here?” She whispered when Roxanne went over to her.

“To where?”

“To the castle we’ll have access to?”

Roxanne glanced around the room, giving a covert nod. The two tried walking out of the room as discreet as possible, but an especially lanky servant stepped in front of the door just as they were about to cross.

“May I ask what’s going on here?” He asked calmly, offering some orange juice to the two of them.

“We just need to go to the bathroom.” Willow replied quickly.

“Both of you?”

“Is that really that suspicious?”

“A little, I’ll admit.”

Willow leaned into him.

“Look, it’s kind of an emergency. The lady specific kind.”

The waiter looked a little grossed out as Roxanne gave an uneasy nod. He let them through, and Willow looked at the door as it was closing.

“Works every time.” She chuckled.

“So now what?” Roxanne whispered. She glanced around the empty hallways with not a single servant around, and not a sound from any source that wasn’t behind them.

“Whatever we want.” Willow whispered back. “But first, I need to get out of this dress.”

The two went through the hallways while avoiding the few servants that were doing some light cleaning on the halls. After a few minutes, they were in Willow’s room.

It was extremely simple in comparison to what Roxanne thought it would be. Her bed looked exactly the same as her old one back on Miracle with a simple red blanket in contrast to the blue walls. Next to the bed was a wooden dresser. Not with any special design, just an extremely ordinary dresser and wardrobe which Willow was digging through.

“Okay, you want to borrow some clothes or something?”

“Excuse me?” Roxanne asked.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re my size.” Willow replied calmly without looking, handing her a shirt. It was a neon green shirt with some cartoon character she didn’t recognise on it. Willow handed her some grey sweatpants to finish the outfit.

“You can keep the shirt; some ex gave it to me.”

“Ex?”

“Yeah, she turned out to be an assassin. Shit was wacky.”

With that information given it’s nonchalant explanation, Roxanne went into the bathroom to get out of her dress. The bathroom also wasn’t anything to write home about, other than the fact it was Willow’s personal one. She quickly got into the clothes Willow gave her, heading out to see Willow already dressed in a plain blue t-shirt and black sweatpants casually laying on her bed.

“So now what?” She asked.

A couple ideas flashed in Roxanne’s mind once the question was asked. She had a TV opposite the bed, so that was definitely an option. Or just relax with some music, she definitely had a music player.

“We’re gonna kiss.”

The words left her mouth before they were in her brain. But this was her chance. Her chance to finally seal the deal and make this love adventure worth it. They’d kiss, and then perhaps do some other stuff…okay, let’s not go too crazy yet.

“Yeah, sure.” Willow said with a slow nod.

Okay, this was it. She was ready. She crawled on top of Willow as she lay flat on her bed. She put a hand to each side in an attempt to look assertive, just like in her favourite shows. She lay down and their lips connected, followed by their tongues. This was it. It wasn’t what she expected the end to look like, but she was here.

And it felt so…

…so…

…gross.

[kubakian]

Kubakian 1062

March 24, 2013 the first one here I kind of had an extra idea and just went with it  Untitled  One of the funniest things of man, Is when we try to tell God our plan. Just go ahead and say, 'Well I think it should be this way.' Let me know how that works for you, And how that plan comes through.  (We are created in His image yes, And are called to in life nothing less. But that in the reverse way it doesn't go, And God doesn't work in the limitations of what we know. He is far beyond all we are to be, And in true wisdom much more does see.)  We plan what we think should be, But God a much larger plan does see. And we are definitely invited by Him to take part, But must realize small is each journey on which we depart. What you and I want to be made so, God wants also, but much larger His does grow.                        (and more in love than we can fully know.)  It is an invitation God to us does make, And an open mind and active participation for us to take.  Untitled   "I'll pray for you." "I didn't ask you to." "That won't stop me." "Whatever you need to be, But I don't really care." "Of that I am aware.  But regardless you should know, Prayers for you will come to grow." "It will be a waste of your time and nothing more, And I'm not sure why'd you bother for." "It is never a waste of time to pray, Even if we don't know the ending way.  And I will bother because you deserve it, And as your friend it does just rightly fit."  Untitled  Lost time there may be, And I know that is the fault of me. But there is still much to do, And many great times to go through. Held back as is my way, No real reason of which to say.  To move forward from here, And into all that is yet to appear. So much that is still to come, To in times multiply far beyond what missing is from. So sometimes may be lost, But it is not the final cost.  It probably should've been long ago, But I hope I'm not too late to fully know.  Untitled  We will move farther away, But we will come back to it someday. In the crumbled ruins we will stand, And then look again to what we once did understand. It will be there through it all, Though much around it will come to fall.   It is not hard to imagine to be, That this may be a possibility. That in tricks and snares we are caught, Shaped into something we are not. Likea adolescent child needing to rebel, Unable to believe what their parents tell.  It is sad how we lose what we know, As we tell ourselves we need room to grow.  Untitled  That which you preach, Is not what you reach. You see it one way, But opposite you come to say. Over-thinking every part, Ignoring the call of your heart.  Holding back all to be, Never letting yourself free. No good reason at all, Can I see for this to befall. You are more you know, But stay planted never to forward go.  You over-think as ever before, Then over-think a lil more.  Untitled  If another chance would come to me, I'd probably the same make to be. I'd like to think this wasn't the case, But facts of the matter I have to face. Why would it turn out any differently, If I'm allowed the chance to again see?  Another chance to go through, Would mean stumbling by as already knew. Not sure it would really change, Since I acted merely in my range. So it would just be much of what I did do, Just that it'd be times two.  Though another chance seems good, Who's to say that I actually would.  Untitled  All that I was trying to be, When all along the call was just for me. Each part still very good, And made a part of it all it should. But missing what is at the core, And searching for more and more.  Looking out far and wide, While answer already did abide. Searching for what was sitting there, Distracted by all of the thoughts aware. Like leaving home to go and find, What the journey teaches exists in the mind.  So just me is what is to stay, However me is always in sucha odd way. 

[robininthelabyrinth]

3. I have no idea if this time line would work, but MYX and XY get attached to each other, so when the time comes that MYX and XY need to leave Koi Tower, JGY helps them get married in secret and run away to Dongu. Anyways, a few years latter, JGY has a kid that needs to go and people in a removed location that owe him favors! Isn’t that a wonderful combination! A Jin(?) Rusong raised by Uncles Mo and Xue, or whatever they go by these days, would be very chaotic. Bonus: they start a relatively safe demonic cultivation sect, maybe with some guidance from the Nie (has NMJ never been killed by the Jin in this Au?), or more specifically, Huaisang. SL and XXC who got a happy ending decide to check out this no blood line sect (it looks slightly dubious, but surely can’t be to bad! Right?) A-Qing at least is enjoying her new friend -🟪🦋

Should Have Been Listening - ao3

“Let go of me.”

“I won’t,” Mo Xuanyu said, clutching Xue Yang’s arm. “I won’t, I won’t! You’re my only friend here!”

Xue Yang looked down at him in what he thought was mostly exasperation, but might have also been a little fondness – after all, if it’d been anyone else who’d grabbed him, he’d have stabbed them.

He still didn’t know why he didn’t stab Mo Xuanyu, too, but in all honesty, he wasn’t that interested in exploring it. He did what he wanted, and right now, he didn’t want to murder Mo Xuanyu.

Irritating as he sometimes was.

“Little brat,” he said. “I have important business to go do.”

“It’s not something that he ordered, though!”

“So what?” Xue Yang bristled. “I don’t just do what hetells me!”

“But that means he won’t cover for you, and that means you’ll get in trouble!” Mo Xuanyu argued. “How can I let you go all alone to get in trouble? You have to take me with you! What will you do without me? Who’ll keep you entertained and sneak sweets for you if not for me?”

Xue Yang’s lips twitched. Okay, maybe there was a reason he kept the brat around.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “This is something I’ve got to do – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’m going to kill a lot of people and get into a lot of trouble, more trouble than ever before. I’ll probably lose my life. How can I possibly take you with me?”

Mo Xuanyu scowled up at him. It was a very weak scowl – barely more than a pout. “You think that’s going to make me not want to come with you?”

Xue Yang’s eyebrows went up. “You cry at the sight of blood!”

“I cry at a lot of things!”

Xue Yang wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was true, Mo Xuanyu cried at a lot of things.

“Maybe if I come with you, it won’t be so bad!”

Yeeeeah, Xue Yang wasn’t going to count on that.

“Or maybe you don’t have to go…?”

“I have to go,” he explained. “If I don’t go, I can’t get revenge, and I have to have revenge.”

Mo Xuanyu blinked up at him.

“I don’t really understand, but okay,” he said, and tugged on his arm. “Let’s go together, then. I promise I won’t cry!”

-

He cried.

He cried a lot.

-

“Stop fucking crying.”

-

“Just – ugh. Listen. You’re ruining the mood.”

-

“If you can’t stop crying, go away. Now. Or I’ll stab you!”

-

“Okay, see, look, I just killed the leaders, see? Just the old men. Everyone else is just locked in their rooms. Once the sect leader comes back, I’ll kill him too, and that’ll be all. Okay? Everyone else lives. I promise. Now stop crying, okay?”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said when they got back. “I don’t want to know at all.”

“Good,” Xue Yang grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Enough people heard about the reason for what you did that opinions are mixed as to whether your actions were the Chang clan’s just rewards for their former misdeeds or if they were actually wrong,” Jin Guangyao said. He looked irritated. “But you still killed high-ranking members of a sect, and you left enough alive that they’re demanding your head on a platter. You’re going to need to run away.”

Mo Xuanyu hesitantly gestured as if he wished to speak.

“Yes, you can go with him. Now that my father is dead, no one cares where you are.”

Mo Xuanyu beamed.

“You’re just going to let us go?” Xue Yang asked suspiciously. “That seems unlike you. What’s in it for you?”

“Oh, I’m not just going to let you go. I’m going to give you money, too,” Jin Guangyao said. “And all you need to do for me is one little tiny favor –”

Pity that that was when Xue Yang stopped listening, too busy staring at Mo Xuanyu’s delighted face and counting all the way he was in for it now.

-

“I’ve always wanted to take care of a baby,” Mo Xuanyu said happily.

“Good for you,” Xue Yang said darkly as he stalked through the streets.

He would rather that Jin Guangyao had needed a body buried and a death covered up or something – and judging by the baby’s perturbed expression, it probably agreed with him. Fuck, maybe Jin Guangyao had meant for them to murder the baby once they got it far enough out of the way. It was just as plausible as Mo Xuanyu's assumption that they were supposed to take care of it.

Damnit, maybe he should have been listening.

“Listen, neither of us are equipped to handle a baby. Go find a woman to help us – someone poor and helpless who doesn’t have any other choice.”

“Okay!”

-

Xue Yang shut his eyes. “What exactly,” he said slowly, “did you think I asked you to get us a woman for, exactly?”

“To…watch the baby?” Mo Xuanyu guessed. “When we’re busy or sleeping? Anyway, what’s wrong with A-Qing, anyway? She’s nice!”

“I’m not nice,” A-Qing said. The damn brat was smirking – and for once it wasn’t his damn brat, but some blind brat with a cocky expression. “I stole your wallet and you burst into tears and it was really embarrassing.”

“He does that,” Xue Yang said wearily. At least he’d noticed the theft this time – all of his lessons in ‘how not to be a sucker and get constantly taken advantage of’ were maybe having something of an impact. Maybe. “For some reason I’m apparently into it.”

He couldn’t explain it any other way.

“…loser.”

“I will stab you,” Xue Yang threatened. “I don’t care if you’re blind.”

“Won’t someone tell me why A-Qing isn’t a perfectly good babysitter?” Mo Xuanyu demanded. He was holding the baby in his arms again – the baby liked him more than it did Xue Yang, which meant that between Mo Xuanyu and the baby, the baby had better self-preservation instincts – and he was trying his best stern scowl which was of course barely more than a pout and a so-called ‘fierce’ expression that made Xue Yang want to laugh.

Not even Mo Xuanyu’s horrific make-up skills could make thatface intimidating. Or maybe it was just that the person behind the face was just so completely unthreatening that there was no help for it?

“Well? Tell me!”

Xue Yan opened his mouth, then shrugged and shut it again.

A-Qing patted Mo Xuanyu on the shoulder. “I’m too young. No milk.”

“…milk?”

“You know. The thing babies eat?”

“…milk,” Mo Xuanyu repeated, only now he looked absolutely heartbroken at having failed the mission that Xue Yang had assigned him almost entirely just to get him out of the way while Xue Yang collected some spare cash and threatened their way onto a ride out of this piece of shit town.

“It’s fine,” Xue Yang said hastily. “We’ll just get a goat or something, I don’t know.”

“Okay, I actually only came here to laugh at you,” A-Qing said. “But now I’m legitimately worried about this baby. Don’t you two know anything? How’d you even get a baby, anyway?”

-

“Stop laughing. It’s not that funny.”

-

“Seriously. Stop laughing, or I stab you.”

“Don’t worry, A-Qing,” Mo Xuanyu said. “He doesn’t mean it! Threats are just how he expresses affection!”

“It most certainly is not.”

“That is absolutely amazing,” A-Qing said, wiping her eyes. “Best thing I’ve ever heard., if by best I mean worse-but-hilarious. I mean. If that’s what he considers affection, what must his flirting be like?”

“No one is flirting with anyone!”

-

“Are you going to leave at some point?”

“Obviously not,” A-Qing said. She’d caught the same ride as them, using Xue Yang’s cash no less – Mo Xuanyu had insisted that it was the least they could do after the whole milk misunderstanding, which was stupid, she ought to be paying them for wasting their time. Xue Yang couldn’t wait to get rid of her, although he had to admit that she’d been pretty useful in terms of putting on the ‘poor sad blind girl and her two brothers all alone in the world’ act to get them a room at the inn at prices even Xue Yang felt comfortable paying. “Are you joking? This is so much funnier than walking by myself. Anyway, I enjoy watching people crash and burn.”

“Aren’t you too young to be such a bitch?” Xue Yang hissed. “And, I don’t know, blind?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t care what you –”

The sound of crying came from the other room.

It was quickly followed by a second set of crying.

Xue Yang felt the onset of a headache.

“…truce?” A-Qing suggested sweetly, as if she knew exactly how much it pissed him off and thought it was the funniest thing ever, which was…probably accurate, actually. “I’ll get the baby to stop crying if you do the same with Mo Xuanyu.”

Yeah, that was definitely a headache. The sort of headache called why do I like that brat.

Mo Xuanyu owed him so much candy for putting up with this shit.

“Fine,” Xue Yang said begrudgingly. “Truce. Temporarily. And then you leave!”

-

“So we live here now, huh?” A-Qing said, looking around the house they’d claimed. “That’s neat.”

“Why do you live with us again?” Xue Yang asked her, though by now he barely even meant it. A-Qing was clearly another one in the same mold as Mo Xuanyu: you just couldn’t say no to her…or, rather, you could, at length and top volume and with threats, only it just didn’t stick. “I definitely did not recall asking you to stay.”

Though it was nice to have someone else around that wasn’t going to get immediately ripped off by literally anyone who came their way. Mo Xuanyu’d started getting conned by the literal infant that they were taking care of – he was completely hopeless.

Also, questionably blind or not, at least A-Qing had no hesitation about beating people with her stick if they struck her the wrong way, which was a life approach Xue Yang agreed with wholeheartedly.

“She’s going to learn to cultivate!” Mo Xuanyu chirped from where he was applying his make-up. “Demonic cultivation, too! We had a whole discussion about it while you were out getting groceries!”

That made a certain amount of sense, Xue Yang supposed. You didn’t need talent to be a demonic cultivator – technically speaking, given his bloodline, Mo Xuanyu was more naturally gifted in cultivation than Xue Yang, which was just wrong on all sorts of levels – and it was certainly more effective a defense mechanism than A-Qing’s stick. If there were two of them, they could protect Mo Xuanyu and the baby more effectively, taking shifts when needed, and Mo Xuanyu, who was also going to learn demonic cultivation no matter how many times Xue Yang had to hammer it into his head, could be the last line of defense, largely since no one would ever expect him to be able to do…anything…and they’d be right, too.

So it wasn’t the craziest idea in the world, only…

“…who is she going to be learning from, exactly!?”

-

“Have you ever considered charging for your skill in teaching cultivation lessons instead of your skill in stabbing people?” A-Qing asked one day. They were lying on the ground and having the corpses they’d raised fan them to try to reduce the temperature – it was that sort of day. Also, Mo Xuanyu, who might’ve objected, wasn’t around. “You’re not actually that bad at this. Might be more profitable, and less work. Just a thought.”

“Shut up. I’m great at stabbing people.”

“Yeah, but then after a while we have to move because people get annoyed at that, and it’s getting a little annoying to have to pack up all the time.”

“We’d have to move anyway. We’re wanted criminals, remember?”

“We could be wanted criminals with a house. Besides, wouldn’t you like to be called Teacher Xue?”

“What? No. Gross.”

-

“So you see, it turns out that they were teaching demonic cultivation in a safe and organized fashion,” Xiao Xingchen explained enthusiastically. “They’d even gathered up their own little sect! And of course everyone heard what the Chang clan did, so there’s no need to worry about them going around and murdering people at random – it was a targeted revenge scheme.”

“We’re working on teaching them regular cultivation,” Song Lan agreed, nodding. “To help mitigate the negative effects of demonic cultivation…well, we started out by just teaching them.”

“It turned out that they’d been secretly teaching all of the local delinquents, too, or at least Mo-gongzi had been teaching a few and Mistress Qing was teaching a few others, and even Sect Leader Xue had a few disciples,” Xiao Xingchen said, politely omitting or possibly having not noticed the fact that Mo Xuanyu had been teaching his ‘friends’ (read: scammers trying to take advantage of him), while A-Qing and Xue Yang had each been trying to form competing gangs and/or obtain lackeys. Xue Yang didn’t mind the oversight, largely on account of the fact that A-Qing had been winning, damn her – he’d kept getting distracted by inventing new things. “And a few of them had real talent – and you know that Zichen and I have always wanted to start a sect of our own, with no bloodline ties –”

“We’re joining their sect,” Song Lan said. “We’ll be leading the orthodox side, while they lead the demonic cultivation aspect – safely, of course.”

“I guess it’s better than them being crazy,” Jiang Cheng said. He sounded dubious. “I don’t like it, but at least all the demonic cultivators can be in one spot, you know?”

He made it sound like they’d be dropping off new ones there in the future.

Like they’d opened up some sort of pet rescue and were taking in unwanted puppies or something.

“Agreed,” Nie Mingjue said. “To the extent that they aren’t causing active harm, containment seems an appropriate remedy here. Who seconds the motion?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said, and smiled at the newly agreed-upon sect. “Welcome back to the cultivation world, Sect Leader Xue.”

-

“I don’t want to know,” Jin Guangyao said, glaring.

“Don’t worry,” Xue Yang told him. “This comes as much of a shock to me as to you.”

The glare intensified, but that was fine. Jin Guangyao’s facial expressions, however minor and generally overlooked, had been the only thing getting him through that awful, awful meeting just now where people kept trying to salute him and make him salute back and if he didn’t then he was letting down Mo Xuanyu (who would send him a sad look) and A-Qing (who would hear about it from Mo Xuanyu later and then find a way to step on his foot right when he was concentrating on something).

Not to mention their two new resident lovebirds, who looked so righteous and proper from the outside but who also may or may not have accidentally full-on actually resurrected some dead asshole cultivator more or less the first time they’d joined Xue Yang in his demonic cultivation laboratory – which would have been fine, you know, that happened in demonic cultivation though not normally to quite such a wow-is-he-actually-alive extent, except that the guy’s intermittent moments of clarity suggested that his two new sect members might have just brought back the Yiling Patriarch himself, which was going to make all of them wanted criminal again the second anyone found out about it.

Ugh.

Being called sect leader was completely not worth this shit.

Xue Yang comforted himself with the reminder that later today he was planning on publicly introducing Jin Guangyao to the Xue sect’s head junior disciple “Xue Song” and announcing loudly that the brat needed some lessons in manners, that he’d heard that that was Lianfeng-zun’s specialty, and nominating him to take care of the kid while they were visiting.

See how the fucker liked that.

“I always knew Xue-gege could do great things!” Mo Xuanyu said, clapping his hands as A-Qing rolled her (by now, Xue Yang was almost definitely sure not actually blind) eyes behind his back. “As long as I went with him!”

[renchinworld]

NCT DREAM AS TYPES OF GROOMS ♡

before, during and after the wedding

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, NCT DREAM! ♡

- gender neutral

- on crack, what’d u expect from this account lmao XD

- the picture qualities are Jurassic negative HD 0.4K but they still look good because dem visuals infinity/10

DISCLAIMER: Considering that not everyone has the same religion and wedding traditions, just imagine that this is for y’all own culture & religion’s weddings. Also, these men will be down to marry you a thousand times in one lifetime so.... conducting a ceremony again is no problem (that equates to more honeymoons and we love honeymoons).

♡ MARK

The “I do this for my squad, I do this for my gang” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: The type to inform family and friends a year before the actual wedding (he says it's an adult thing). You and Mark will have everything ready as early as possible so y'all can just chill as the date draws near. Will also be loud about it but not in an intentional way, he’s just neomu excited.

⊰⊹ DURING: Dude will throw finger guns to the guests *ehem* Johnny & Yuta *ehem* while he’s literally right next to the priest. He will also shed a few tears and laugh at himself for crying as he sees you walking down the aisle. Will never forget to thank God for blessing him with you ♡

⊰⊹ AFTER: Mark will dance with you in different genres (except there’s no twerking and grinding because you gotta leave space for Jesus). After the big reception, there will be a smaller reception at home with just you, him and yall parents before the actual honeymoon. He will do everything you like once you two are alone tho ;)

♡ RENJUN

The “You’ll remember this as the wedding of the century” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: Renjun's the type to write the most touching and heartfelt vow that will make you both cry and then add some savage twist at the end which will make everyone laugh (flashback to Haechan's birthday vlive). He will also make sure that everything--from the theme to the background music--is aesthetic af.

⊰⊹ DURING: Mans will 100% cry as he pictures you and him spending your entire lives together once he sees you walk down that aisle. Also, he is genuinely crying happy tears but will wipe them dramatically while he’s being filmed by your wedding videographer for ✧ remembrance and effect ✧

⊰⊹ AFTER: “Renjun, why is the temptation of wife OST playing in the background?”

He will sing close to your ear and give you a peck on the lips once in a while while everyone's busy partying. You two will greet the guests for a short while and then escape in a private plane to an island getaway for your honeymoon… it will take off in front of everyone because... ✧ art ✧ Also, get ready for the most romantic love making in Maldives ;)

♡ JENO

The “You thought it’d be no jam but it was actually the best wedding” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: Lets you take charge of planning, but when he suggests his ideas it’s so top notch that you’ll be all “why aren’t you saying more?” and it’s because he believes that the wedding is not as important as the person he is marrying (opposite to Jaemin: Jeno thinks you’ll be happier if he just lets you do whatever you want--as an act of letting you have freedom in your creativity). He’ll be super helpful if you need it tho so no worries.

⊰⊹ DURING: Will accidentally open your veil before the person in charge says “you may now kiss the bride/groom.” He doesn’t care about the cameras, all he sees is you, you and you. Jeno won't cry in the actual event but he will be teary eyed af for sure (he's saving the tears for when you guys are alone).

⊰⊹ AFTER: He will take all his chances to carry you and hold you in his arms all night long. Jeno’s signature eye smile will be plastered on his face all night. That innocent face also prepared a bed of roses and other surprises in your room ready for the honeymoon ;)

♡ HAECHAN

The “We’re not going home until someone blacks out” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: Haechan will pull a prank on you before the wedding so that you’ll coming running to him and he’ll see you (he can’t take the “you can’t see each other the night before the wedding” tradition because he misses you already). He will even make the vow writing a group activity lmao: “Whatchu writing?” “Haechan, stop looking! This is supposed to be a surprise.”

⊰⊹ DURING: He will tell everyone “I’m not gonna cry, that’s sus” but will definitely cry while laughing and get laughed at by family and friends lightheartedly. Haechan will say the funniest vows out of everyone but will also make you emotional because he can switch from being humorous to serious in 0.00001 second.

⊰⊹ AFTER: Reception is real party vibes; it’s not over until it’s game over. He might get bored eventually so you too will sneak out laughing in your wedding attires and just chill around the hotel’s swimming pools. He might also push you into a pool so he can save you and bathe you afterwards ;)

♡ JAEMIN

The “I’ve been dreaming of this my whole life” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: He’ll make the wedding planner question their entire existence (opposite to Jeno: Jaemin thinks you’ll be happier if he plans the wedding for you--as an act of service). He’ll be super open to your suggestions though and will immediately change up anything you don’t agree with so no worries.

⊰⊹ DURING: Jaemin will also give one of the funniest vows but it's because he's unintentionally funny in his speech delivery. He will say the sweetest and uplifting words, refraining from being too emotional because he doesn't want to see you cry... but you still do. Dude might do mild aegyo in front of everyone just to see you smile again (you know the finger on pouty lips one that he does with Renjun? Yep, that one).

⊰⊹ AFTER: He will drag you somewhere when everyone’s busy partying just so he can give you a kissth. He’s down to party with your family and friends but only if you’re always by his side. And he definitely won't care if the party's over or not--once he sees that you’re tired or want to be alone with him, he'll announce to everyone that you guys are gonna bounce… and bounce you shall ;)

♡ CHENLE

The “We can afford a Kardashian wedding but I’d rather keep it simple” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: Boi WILL 100% invite his bestie Stephen Curry. There will be three weddings: one for the grand wedding (at an arena for all of Shanghai to see--he doesn’t like this one but gotta keep those investors in check, you know?). Another for a small circle wedding (just family and friends). The last will be the “just the two of us casually exchanging chips and diamond rings while playing pubg” wedding

⊰⊹ DURING: Daddy Chenle will never forget to mention his son Mark in his vows and speeches. His whole clan will shower you with gifts and affection so much that he doesn’t know if he should be happy or annoyed because they’re not giving you two enough time to spend YOUR wedding together. He’s staying put though because hakuna matata #the scorpio side jumped out

⊰⊹ AFTER: No one else is allowed to touch you except for him. He will carry you bridal style away from the building and to his car so he can have you all to himself. He’ll definitely cry happy tears when it's just the two of you.

♡ JISUNG

The “We really should’ve married in secret instead” Groom

⊰⊹ BEFORE: Will let you take control of the event but will pitch in his creative ideas here and there. Jisung insists that you have a small wedding but the number of NCT members is far from small lol. There's also a high chance of a beach wedding because he loves the open area (gives him more space to breathe plus he’ll see Haechan and Renjun trying to drown each other in the distance and that’s free entertainment).

⊰⊹ DURING: Dude will 100% get clowned by the NCT members while saying his vows (honorable mention: dreamies). He might rap some of his words out of nervousness (which everyone finds cute because it is). He will be all shy and awkward at first and then surprise everyone by his sudden bold moves (e.g. dip you as he kisses you, say the sweetest things). He will also cry happy tears as he sees you walk down that aisle.

⊰⊹ AFTER: He's truly grateful for all the support and love of everyone who attended but as an introvert and an Aquarius Plus Pro Max, he’ll be wishing on the inside that everyone just goes home already so you two can have fun alone. Mans will still get clowned by the members even during the reception but he doesn’t mind because he’s clowning them back now. His hand will be glued to your waist all night and he will sneak in a few kisses here and there.

♡ OT7:

- Everyone will get clowned by the other members regardless of the event so a wedding isn’t an exception. So either you protect your husband or join in on the light teasing... or both. 

- You may also get clowned. It’s NCT we’re talking about.

- This is a work of fiction. Except the clownery & RenHyuck drowning each other in Jisung’s wedding. That’s true to life.

Happy Anniversary to our Dreamies >u< we love you guys sm!

[voiceless-terror]

#21 and #46 for kiss prompts, maybe? I can't get enough your writing tbf

kiss on a dare- a little jonmartin season one fluff <3 All in all, this is one of Tim’s better Friday nights.

It’s been ages since Jon’s hung out with them, and never with Martin along for the ride. The Archives had been off to a messy start after the Dog Incident and Jon’s subsequent panic over the state of the place. What used to be an ‘every couple of weeks’ tradition turned into an almost-never one as the newly-assembled team got buried under more and more boxes of dusty statements. He’s pretty astounded that Jon agreed to dinner and drinks- although it’s a Friday night, Jon’s been apt to stay weekends more often than not. He figured if he arranged for it at one of theirs instead of a pub, Jon would be more likely to come. He always preferred less crowded settings.

No, the real feat was getting him to come knowing Martin was invited.

Jon’s been getting...better around him, that’s true. He was perfectly fine at his birthday party, going off about emulsifiers for a solid fifteen minutes. Tim’s always been rather fond of Jon’s infodumping, and if he’s comfortable enough to do it around Martin that must be a good sign. Despite an initial freeze-out, he now thanks Martin for his tea and saves his most pointed comments for Martin’s more egregious screw-ups (and even those have less bite than usual). Still, a colleague does not a friend make, and Jon’s never been good at opening up to people he doesn’t know all that well. However, Jon just nodded at the Martin caveat, seemingly not giving it a second thought. And Martin didn’t seem all that worried either.

Whatever, Tim’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He’s just happy they’re all here, having a good time. It’s late and Jon’s had enough wine to keep a smile on his face. He missed that. It’s nice how easily they slot together, even with all of the upheaval and a new addition. Martin himself isn’t so shy after a drink or two, more willing to engage in banter and keep the conversation going. This is what it should be like all the time, Tim thinks. Shitty archive job or not. 

It’s when they retire to the living room, drinks in hand, that he finally notices the little grin on Sasha’s face. And Tim, knowing exactly what that means, is both a little afraid and excited. Four-drink-Sasha has always been a host unto herself.

“Why don’t,” she begins, a hiccup interrupting her as she slumps into an armchair. Tim snickers and ignores the glare this earns him. “Why don’t we play one of our old games-”

Tim raises a glass in agreement as Jon, predictably, groans. Martin looks quizzically between them. Ah yes, time for your initiation, Marto! Not that they’ve played this in about a year or so, of course, but it's always fun to revisit the good old days.

“Seriously? We’re not children-”

Tim gives Jon a playful slap on the back that sends him flying forward on the couch, spilling a bit of wine on Sasha’s rug. He hopes she doesn’t notice. “C’mon, it’ll be fun, boss! Nothing like it to break the ice, and there’s definitely some ice that needs breaking.”

Martin blinks, hand tightening on his glass. He looks nervous, like he always does when he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on. Which is a shame, because he’s been so nice and open all night. Even chatting with Jon. “Sorry, what are you talking about?”

Jon rolls his eyes, giving Martin a commiserating look. “Truth or dare.”

Martin lets out a disbelieving laugh, relaxing minutely. “Wait, really?”

“Yes, really.” Jon’s foot reaches out to shove at Tim’s leg. “Tim loves pulling ridiculous stunts-”

“-Hey, you loved the karaoke idea-”

“You sing?”

“No.” Tim would dispute that, but the look on Jon’s face declares it a bad idea. “And Sasha likes to ask probing questions.”

Sasha preens, though the remark was certainly not meant as a compliment. “What can I say, I’m the Queen of Truth-”

Tim snorts. “Hacking and blackmail more like-”

“Anyway-” Sasha sings out as Tim dodges a pillow to the face. “Tim….truth or-”

“Dare, always dare.”

“You’re absolutely no fun,” Sasha pouts, though it doesn’t take long for her eyes to narrow in thought. There’s very little Tim won’t do, but that’s a dangerous look. “I dare you...to text…”

“Text? You can do better than that, Sash.”

“Text...Elias.” That’s more like it. 

Jon immediately scowls. “Tim, no-”

“I don’t have his number-”

“I do-”

“Sasha!”

“Jon, it’ll be fine! He’ll just say ‘oops, wrong number’ afterwards, no harm, no foul-”

Tim takes this time to snatch at Sasha’s phone, sitting precariously on the arm of her chair. She doesn’t notice, too busy gesturing at Jon empathically. He scrolls through her contact list.

“And then it’ll come down on me-”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “How is he going to connect it to you? It’s not like he knows we’re all together-”

“Done!” Tim tosses the phone back onto the couch with a little grin. Sasha blinks, looking down in confusion.

“Wait, that’s mine-”

The screech and smack on the arm at Tim’s hastily fired off ‘u up? ;)’ to Elias Bouchard were definitely deserved. He’s sure he’ll face consequences for that in the near future, but Jon and Martin’s immediate laughter had been well worth it. Shouldn’t dish it if you can’t take it, that’s Tim’s motto.

In the next round, Tim manages to get Martin to confess to his poetry-writing habit, an admission that has him turning an attractive shade of red. Jon just giggles quietly to himself as Martin reads through one of his poorer attempts at rhyme saved to the notes of his mobile. Tim watches the two of them; Martin keeps looking up at Jon throughout it all like he’s the only one in the room and god, his crush is so evident and yet Jon is oblivious, smiling at him like he’s not on the receiving end of some of the most loaded glances of all time. 

Martin gets Sasha to admit to her most recent perusal through confidential institute records, which turned out to be previous archival expenses (solely to find out what Elias would cover with their new jobs, of course). At first glance, there wasn’t much in the way of extravagant meals or supplies, but a bit more digging had her finding Gertrude’s extensive travel budget. For an old woman, she certainly was a globe-trotter.

“All I’m saying, Jon, is that we could definitely do with a trip to China-”

“Yes, I’ll be sure to ask Elias about Gertrude’s trip to China, something I certainly shouldn’t know about, and he’ll have to let us go.”

“Refill?” Martin’s on his feet, taking Jon’s wine glass in his hand and Tim watches as their fingers brush- go Martin!- and yet Jon just nods his thanks, completely oblivious to the seduction taking place before him. Tim’s given it some thought and honestly, he thinks they’d make a cute couple. An odd pair, for sure, but Jon’s so soft once you get to know him, and Martin’s one of the funniest, sweetest guys he knows. They could be good for each other.

“Well, I still think it’s worth a try.” Sasha’s eyes are starting to blink heavily - she’ll be out for the count tonight, for sure. “Anyway, it’s your turn. I dare you-”

“I didn’t even pick!” Jon says, though he doesn’t seem too put out by it. This is the Jon Martin should know, the easy-humored, smiling man sprawled out before him. He’s even taken his little sweater vest and tie off, looking more like the familiar friend from research Tim knows so well. It warms his heart.

“Fine. Truth or dare?”

“Dare, I suppose. Seeing as how you already have one queued up.”

“I dare you to...to...to give a little kiss to someone in this room.” She waves her glass around imperiously. “Anyone you like.”

Silence. Tim gives Sasha a warning look that she ignores. She’s well in her cups, and he supposes any sense of propriety has gone out the window along with her sobriety. He’s actually seen Jon give quite a few kisses on a particularly memorable New Years Eve, but that was a different time. He doesn’t want him to feel pressured, not when he’s just starting to open back up.

 “Jon doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to-”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, you remember-”

“It doesn’t matter- Jon, you can skip this one if you like, we can think of something else-”

“Tim, it’s alright.” Jon puts a hand on his arm to stop the argument, and there’s a strange look in his eyes that can’t be attributed to liquor. It’s mock-serious, almost playful paired with his little sly smile. He thinks for a moment that Jon’s going to lean in and kiss him but instead he gets up from the sofa in a smooth motion and walks across the room to Martin, who’s just turned around with two glasses in hand. He freezes in place as Jon gets on his very tippy toes, takes his face in both hands, and kisses him. 

Jonathan Sims. Kissing Martin Blackwood. Against a kitchen counter. Martin Blackwood, who, once he’s over his surprise, puts the drinks down behind him and kisses right the hell back, arms winding around Jon’s waist like they belong there.

What. The. Fuck.

_____

“The leg bit was a nice touch.”

“Hmm?” Jon’s in Martin’s lap, sprawled out on his couch back at his own flat, eyes closed in contentment as he leans back against the other man’s chest. Martin’s got one hand in his hair, and the other entwined with Jon’s, twirling the black ring on his finger. It’s heavenly.

“Thought you were trying to climb me.”

“Well, you usually pick me up at that point, make it easier.”

“Sorry, next time.” Kissing Jon’s always fun but kissing him out in the open, in front of their friends? Was that something they could do now? “Should we tell them we’ve been dating for two months?” 

Two whole months since that night in Document Storage when Jon had finally let his guard down. When Martin had held him in his arms. Jon was very particular about keeping up appearances, though that all seemed to have crumbled tonight. Sasha rather fashioned herself a matchmaker, and Jon didn’t do anything to dissuade the fact. It’d been nice, having their relationship to themselves, the secret of it, the obliviousness of their friends who still thought Jon only tolerated him. It’s not that he wanted to keep it that way, of course, but it was nice while they were still figuring it out. 

“If you’d like. Maybe it’s time.” Jon tilts his head back, giving Martin a fond look. “Though I know how much you enjoy playing the lovesick fool-”

“There’s something so poetic about unrequited love, yknow?”

“All the more when it’s requited, I’d say.” Martin couldn’t argue with that. He leans down to give Jon’s forehead a peck. 

“Hmm. Give it a few more weeks. Act out the honeymoon phase for a bit, it’ll be fun.”

And when Jon squeezes his hand and smiles back, Martin thinks he won’t need to do much acting at all.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31318724

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batfam On A Road Trip HC

req: “Batfam on a road trip? It’s been on my mind for like a week-”

oh god it’s probably so chaotic... and like distinctly dangerous???

also this is my car AU where there’s infinite rows of seats in the car until I’m done.

we’ve got Bruce driving - even though Damian, Dick, Tim, Jason, AND Steph all tried to get behind the wheel but after last years incident the only people allowed to drive are Bruce and Duke but Duke doesn’t like driving with his siblings bouncing off the damn walls.

Speaking of Duke, mans snagged himself a window seat SO FAST it would make your head spin. He likes to sit next to Damian (who got put in the middle because he’s the smallest) and they share earbuds and Duke’s phone which is loaded with like 128 hours of songs. Against popular belief, Damian is actually good at sharing when it’s not with one of his more “obnoxious” siblings and he and Duke get along really well - they also have the same music taste. Duke changes between queue-ing songs, staring out the window making little stories in his head, and watching Damian draw. He occasionally is tasked with holding the sharp objects smuggled into the car after they’re discovered by Bruce as he’s the second most responsible (after Cass).

Speaking of the most responsible sibling, Cass somehow got shotgun next to Bruce. This is because she’s the only who makes him not want to throw himself out of the car and she’s a pretty good navigator. So, as she tries to moderate the back of the car she also is in charge of agreeing on pit stops and coffee breaks which works well because Cass is fair and no one can be an asshole to her. On the first road trip Cass discovered a Wendy’s Frosty and now she will usually write at least one Wendy’s stop into the trip - no one complains except Tim who is forbidden from ordering the spicy nuggets after last years incident.

Tim, the one notorious for threatening to throw himself out of the car most often, is sat in the far back. He someone gets a row to himself under the guise of “sleeping” when in reality he spends the trip typing away on his laptop, chugging monster energy drinks, and occasionally trying to make Dick bark like a dog through some kind of sleep-manipulation he read about one night at 2am. It involves him whispering in his ear and usually ends up making the whole car uncomfortable, except Jason who thinks it’s the funniest shit ever. However, after the incident his back seat gets thoroughly checked by Bruce for stowaways every pitstop, but he’d never store a secret in the same place twice...

We move to Jason! Who sits next to Steph. They’re the snack distributors. Known for throwing popcorn in the other’s mouths but it usually ends up being thrown at Bruce, Damian, or both. Jason is a champ at fruit roll up eating competitions. He claims it’s because his tongue is so strong from eating... nevermind. Jason is surprisingly organized about the snacks, and frequently restocks (with Bruce’s credit card of course) on pit stops. Jason likes to complain early into the trip but by the end he’s telling the most fun stories, singing the loudest, and causing the most trouble. His and Steph’s row is definitely the most fun. But he’s still on the list with Bruce after helping Tim become a world class smuggler during the trip that shall not be named.

Steph is the family interpreter. She shares messages from the back to the front and vice versa. She’s known for saying the back row is hungry when it was in fact her but everyone loves her for her honesty. She’s the first to ask for a leg stretch break, and the one who puts on good songs after Dick has had the aux for too long. She’s basically the lorax of the batfam road trip. She usually makes the snack packs that are distributed throughout the car and is known for memorizing everyone’s favorites to optimize the best snacks. Steph actually wasn’t in the car for the great incident, she often questions what happened but only knows what Dick quietly whispered to her, something about feeding nuggets to a foreign passenger...

Dick, the storyteller, the terrible-music-meister, the road trip organizer himself, sits on the other side of Damian. He was the one who purposefully cleared everyone’s schedule for the weekend and who roughly planned the route. Dick works closely with Cass to make sure they’re going the right way and he also mediates all fights that occur during the trip, and trust that there are a lot. Dick is known for being restless and often throws his head out the window on the freeway “just to feel something” his quote not mine. Dick is incharge of taking all dangerous items off Damian (and sometimes Tim’s) person before the trip and he was in the most trouble when the intruders were found during last years incident. But he took it with stride and promised Bruce this year would be better!

Damian, the deeply unhappy middle seater, can be found drawing and pretending he can’t hear Grayson blabbing on about “this crazy adventure he had as Robin so sooo long ago”. Damian is known for pouting through the first stop but after he’s had some quiet time he can actually be seen with the corners of his mouth upturned- especially if they drive past farms during the trip (Cass tries extra hard to make sure they do). Damian also had been known to try to run away during stops so he’s kind of heavily watched by Bruce and Dick. Luckily, his place in the middle seat means he’s far enough away from Tim to be “bothered by his mere presence” which is a significant win and close enough to Duke and Cass to keep him sane.

We are in fact missing two main people: Babs and Alfred. These two opt to stay home, getting the much deserved break they need. They like to have tea parties, cleaning extravaganzas, and (though they won’t admit it) the occasional dance break in the batcave when no one’s looking. They like to take the batmobile to get food and their guilty pleasure is watching rom-coms on the giant screen in the batcave while eating “trashy takeaways” as Alfred so eloquently calls them. These two have the best time, but if anyone asks they were simple awaiting the rest of their families return.

That’s how I think it’d go down! Overall I think it would be chaotic but not as bad as one might think, they are family after all : )

Oh wait, I forget, there are two more stowaways...

Bart and Kon are silent, Kon mostly flies above but occasionally slips into the trunk to rest with Bart. Bart easily slips into the trunk and is quite literally gone in a flash if Bruce ever suspects anything. Just because Tim can’t hand feed him nuggets doesn’t mean the boy isn’t read for road trip part two! He just hopes Kon made a flying stop at tacobell because he’s getting kinda hungry...

“Timmmm are we there yet?”

“DID I JUST HEAR WHAT I THINK I DID TIM”

“oh my god I finally experienced the great incident but now part two!”

“hi Steph! Yeah I’m here! Sorry Brucie, but yeah, can you pass me a twizzler?”

“HOW DID YOU DO THIS AGAIN TIM I SWEAR TO-”

yup, now that’s a batfam road trip : )

[moonbaby26]

Title: What’s in a Name?

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Continuation from last chapter. You and the others are finally homeward bound, flying back to the U.S. from the events in Egypt and Greece. You get to hear a little more about Peter’s eastern European roots while passing time on the plane together.

Warnings: None, just fluff and Peter being Peter.

Notes: I know where some things I’m referencing don’t match the comics. Blend of comic canon and the movie version going on here.

Chapters: Previous Chapter Here

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp , @wintwrsoldiwr , @tommy-braccoli , @amourtentiaa , @cringingmemeries , @bi-panicatthe-disco , @himbos-are-my-lifeblood , @simp4mcuwomen

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

The morning sun was still low and red on the horizon as you’d stepped back out into the open air of the flight deck. But seagulls were already calling from somewhere up above as men milled around, checking and readying a set of helicopters that you knew would soon be taking you ashore.

You wouldn’t miss this boat itself of course, none of you belonged here after all. But you’d be lying to say it’d been easy to let go of Peter when morning had come. You’d woken up far more tangled than you remembered going to sleep as, chest to chest, his good leg wrapped over you and one of his hands somehow far up the back of your shirt.

The longest part of getting ready had been the procrastination of leaving that bed. After that, it only seemed like minutes before you were all awkwardly standing up here now, waiting on next instructions. It wasn’t as if you’d had anything you could pack after all. Besides that somewhat silly polaroid picture you’d seen Peter carefully stowaway in one pocket of his shorts, you had no possessions to speak of here. Even the shoes they’d given you were some poorly fit military boot. The tops of them scraped against your ankles as you walked and you’d be glad to be rid of them whenever possible.

The Professor and Moira approached after another moment, Moira hurrying a little more as one of the helicopters began to fire up, followed by the other soon after. She had to speak louder over the rising noise of the blades rotating faster and faster.

“Keep these on you!” She called, going to each of you in turn, handing over a U.S. passport with a driver’s license closed separately inside. She only opened them briefly to check that she was matching each to the correct person. “The flight we’ll be taking is just a commercial plane. The government has contracted them and dictated the pickup and landing points, but it’s civilian pilots and flight crew. Normal security still applies, but only those with U.S. citizenship are allowed aboard.”

As she’d gotten to you and Peter, she’d handed both passports to you as you’d had your hand outstretched, and he’d still been holding on to his crutches. You quickly opened one just to see which was yours, so you could pocket only your own. The first one opened was his however, but even in the low light of early sunrise, your brain hitched on something unexpected.

The picture looking back at you was clearly him, albeit a little younger, and with slightly longer hair than the way he wore it currently. But that wasn’t the issue. You reread the name printed in front of you more than once, before glancing up to him as if to confirm.

It said Pietro Django Maximoff.

“Your real name isn’t Peter?” You asked, even over the helicopter noise before you could stop yourself. But the realization was already dawning on you almost before that last word left your mouth that so many people were called one name by friends and family even if their legal name may still be another. You felt a bit stupid then for your reaction, instantly wishing you could take the question back.

But thankfully he only leaned in with a smile, taking his passport and license from you even as he spoke right against your ear. “Define real.” He pocketed them, before continuing. The helicopters were at their full ready now. “But it’s a bit loud here, babe. I’ll tell you all you want to know about my sexy alter ego later, deal?”

—————————

By the time you’d gotten to the airstrip on shore, it was full morning sun now. And just as Moira had said, there was already a large U.S. commercial jet waiting there. You also found out you weren’t alone, as you’d had to join a line of people already waiting to board. They were checking credentials as people moved up one by one onto a mobile stairway that had been rolled up flush with the plane’s open door.

Looking around you, most of the would be passengers still looked like military of various branches though. Army, Navy, Air Force, they still had on their uniforms. But there were others too, likely diplomats being evacuated you thought. Men, women, even a few children as you’d seen the curious eyes peeking out from behind their parents’ legs as you all had also moved through the line.

“It had to be damn stairs,” Peter mumbled as the two of you neared closer to the plane. Without any actual terminal here, boarding straight from the tarmac was the only option.

“If Hank can help carry the Professor up them, wheelchair and all, I’m pretty sure I can handle you.” You responded, only meaning to give him a little grief.

But he just spun things right back on you of course. “Oh, you can handle me any time.”

And when your stare said you didn’t seem to find that quite as funny as he did, he only shrugged, still smiling. “Sorry, you left yourself wide open for that one.”

“I did.” You admitted. “But I still want to hear the story of that driver’s license. And why did you even have one to begin with? Seems a little unecessary.” You said, still moving up every few moments as you neared the bottom of the stairs.

Yet he just kept smirking at you, almost a seeming delight in his eyes then, realizing that you were that curious about it. “Now who’s impatient?” He taunted, just before turning back to flash said documents to one of the workers now checking them.

“Do you have anything to declare?” The woman asked him.

With the way he paused, you knew his brain was churning then to select whatever he would deem the funniest or wittiest response. But as odd of looks as you were all already getting, mostly from Hank and Kurt’s vivid blue skin as usual, it probably would be best not to test the waters any further. You did want to get home after all.

“We don’t,” You answered before he could, relieved when she seemed to want to hurry you all aboard and away from her as much as you did. She handed Peter’s passport back to him, then took your own in quick succession to glance it over as well before seeming satisfied enough as she handed it back to you.

After you were past her, it was the issue of the stairs however. Obviously they expected Peter to just figure it out, but you knew you could lend a hand. The trick was going to be in trying to keep that act of levitation a little more subtle though, still being in mixed company here.

“You should have let me have a little more fun with her,” Peter said, though glancing back with some curiosity as you moved behind him.

“I don’t want to make a scene,” you responded quietly. Really, referring to her just as much as what you were about to attempt. “Pretend you’re going up the stairs anyway. Move a little like you’re walking.”

The person in front of him on the stairs wasn’t looking back, and only more of your friends were directly behind you. With the sidewalls of the stairway also going up about waist high, the people still on the ground couldn’t see the little glow that went around his legs as you willed him to levitate just high enough that his cast didn’t drag the steps as you both continued towards the plane’s door.

“Woah, hey at least give a warning.” He responded, lifting his good leg up enough for it to also miss the now passing steps even as his crutches hit once or twice.”

“I did.” You answered, though still trying to look past him the whole time to make sure no one was looking back from the plane’s doorway. Once you’d gotten nearly to the top, you set him back down to do the last couple steps on his own and enter the plane normally.

Once inside though, the aisle really was too narrow to use his crutches properly. Maybe on a more normal flight more measures would have been taken to assist the disabled, but there sure wasn’t anyone offering anything today.

Kurt was behind you, and offered to take the crutches while Peter put one arm over your shoulders and you both half hobbled, half shimmied awkwardly down the aisle until you reached the first open seating.

Being a larger jet meant for transoceanic travel, there were seats in groups of three on both the left and right side of the plane, but a row of four in the center as well. You ended up in one of the rows of three on the side, letting Peter take the aisle seat to have more room for his leg, while you sat in the middle, and Kurt beside you at the window as he’d laid Peter’s crutches down on the floor underneath the seats.

You finally felt like maybe you could relax a little then, just glancing around a bit. There were some old magazines in the seatback in front of you, but probably not much of anything else any of you could really do now in however many hours it’d take to get stateside. You were pretty sure a passenger jet like this would be a good deal slower than the high tech military one you’d gone to Egypt in.

You were only looking up at the light and air vent controls above your seat next as a sudden movement and curse surprised you as your eyes darted back to the aisle.

“Goddamnit.” A man said.

His soft sided suitcase had just burst open, spilling most of his clothing onto the floor as he then paused to shove it back in as best he could. He struggled with the zipper a moment, but it only slid back and forth uselessly, no longer sealing the bag back. “Cheap ass government issue,” He added, finally just picking up the whole thing and holding it closed against his chest as he walked on.

And that random event would have been nothing more to you, except for the way you saw Peter move his head back then, sucking in a pained breath through his teeth as he gripped the armrest between you.

Kurt noticed too, leaning forward as he asked, “Are you alright, Peter?”

“Yeah, sure,” He grunted.

But as you glanced down to see Peter’s other hand now clutching his broken leg, you also saw a newly materialized pair of sunglasses pressed between his fingertips and the cast. As well as a military jacket now folded messily under his seat.

“That was you.” You spoke abruptly, yet low enough just for the three of you. “You took those out of that man’s suitcase!”

“Well I didn’t think the stupid zipper was going to break when I tried to close it back! He’s right, that was a cheap zipper.” Peter admitted.

“And you hurt yourself trying to get back into the chair didn’t you?” You chided a little more, not quite sure what was worse, the thievery or the recklessness.

“I hit my foot on that damn bracket, and the vibration went through the bone.” He motioned to the metal bracing that bolted the seat in front of him to the floor.

“Thou shalt not steal,” Kurt said, not judgmentally, but just as if this should be an inherent truth as he still looked to Peter with concern.

“Oh man, so I get like twelve hours of flight time to look forward to, trapped next to you two goody two shoes then? Awesome.” He joked back, though already looking back down then at the sunglasses in his hand with a little admiration. They had a mirror finish as he spun them over in his fingers. “And hey, you guys are the ones who burned up my last jacket back in Egypt, remember? I’m not going home empty handed. I’d been wanting one of those army looking deals since we got here. Buzzcut there seemed like he’d have one.”

“Mama look!”

All three of you paused your talk then to see a small boy now standing in the aisle as the movement of people had slowed once more with passengers stopping to put their luggage in the overhead bins. But his mother didn’t seem to be paying him any mind as he continued to point. She was talking to the man in front of her as that man fought with an oversized suitcase.

The boy continued staring though, likely at Kurt. But it wasn’t really a fearful gaze, more excited than anything.

“Guten tag,” Kurt said cheerfully regardless, just waving in return.

And at that the boy’s eyes really went wide. “Sprichst du Deutsch?” The boy stammered a little, yet with the biggest grin.

“Ja, ich komme aus Bayern.” Kurt replied.

And that spontaneous connection over a surprise shared language would have been truly adorable too if Peter wasn’t suddenly leaning right over you to interrupt it.

“Yo, Kurt, ask him if I can borrow some of his markers!” Peter pleaded abruptly.

“What?” You and Kurt both said almost simultaneously.

“The markers, he doesn’t need the whole box. I only need like three colors, tops.” Peter answered, motioning back to the boy. And when still neither you or Kurt seemed to understand this sudden sense of urgency, Peter actually put his hands together like making a little prayer. “You told me you didn’t want me to steal, so I’m trying not to. Come on, at least a red one?”

Kurt really was confused then, but he did lean forward, saying something else in German to the boy.

At that request the boy did look down at the coloring book rolled in one of his hands, and the small pack of markers sticking out of his pocket that evidently Peter had somehow put a target lock on.

But he really did like Kurt apparently as after only a couple moments of thought, the little boy opened the marker box to pull three out.

“Sweet!” Peter said as the child handed over red, black, and blue to him. “I’ll give them back in a bit, right?” Peter added though, smirking at him. “Thanks, little dude.”

And it was all just the oddest thing to you as the boy only happily waved bye to Kurt after, the movement of people starting again as he and his mother continued on to go sit a few rows further back.

“I don’t even know what just happened,” you said after they were gone.

“That was world class negotiating, babe. I mean Kurt literally just smooth talked some colors from a kid with a coloring book in his hand on a twelve hour flight.” Peter responded.

“You are actually going to give them back though aren’t you? You told him you would.” Kurt replied with a little concern.

Peter kind of shrugged, “I mean yeah, I guess so.”

“He’ll give them back,” You added for him. “Or I will.”

“Okay, okay, jeez. Yes, it’s not going to take me hours to do anything. Ever. I’ll have this baby gussied up in no time.” Peter responded, patting his cast gently. “You can’t leave a blank canvas to a guy like me. Especially if I have to stare at this thing for weeks.”

And he was right, you weren’t even in the air yet before he just started doodling away.

————————————

Thankfully the plane only stopped one more time, at an air base in France to pickup more U.S. government evacuees, before at last the wings were over water and you were finally pointed home.

By now Peter’s cast looked more like those advertisements or example sheets on the walls of any tattoo parlor. Yet when you made a comment as such, the sly grin you got in return made you instantly wish you’d thought that through a little better.

“Ah, so you’ve been in a tattoo parlor then?” Oh he was so interested in this topic now. You could see that wolfish look coming into his eyes. “You’ve got some ink somewhere?”

“I don’t.” You’d thought of doing it though, quite a bit actually. But it was such a commitment. You’d probably keep that tidbit to yourself for a while though, lest he try to drag you immediately to a tattoo shop on the drive to D.C.

“I’m not totally sure I believe you.” He answered, though leaning in to whisper in your ear after, “Think you’ll let me check some time?”

The fact that he was still so bold with Kurt literally right beside you, made you wonder if you really should be making sure whatever rental car you ended up with later was just some sort of bucket seat tiny two door thing. If it was a boat like sedan with a full bench back seat, you might actually be in trouble tonight.

“We’ll see,” Is all you answered back though. At least for a moment before you realized now was as good a time as any to flip the conversation back on him.

“So when do I get to hear the Pietro story?” You asked, relaxed into your seat as much as the small space would allow. “Kurt and I have nothing else to do. Let’s hear it.”

“The who?” Peter teased back, just working on giving one of the pin up girls he’d drawn a little better shading.

“Or Django. Either Pietro or Django, they both sound pretty interesting I think.” You replied playfully.

Peter glanced at you, but smiled a little. “You’re just going to be disappointed actually. I was just hyping it up, there’s really nothing to it.”

“Then go on, it’ll be a quick story then.” You still wanted to know more about him of course, and every piece was just another part of the whole picture.

“Django was my grandfather. Mom’s dad back in the old country.” Peter replied, still just finding more and more little details to add to his drawings. “I didn’t really know him. Mom never liked to take us back there much to visit. I mean it makes more sense now of course. She didn’t want my Dad to know where she was. But back then I just figured she thought that place was creepy.”

“What place?” Kurt asked innocently enough. You both were actually equally curious to whatever Peter might say about his family. Like he’d said before, Kurt wasn’t used to having friends his own age. And learning more about each other now was all part of growing those bonds.

“Wundagore Mountain,” Peter replied. “And trust me, as much as it sounds like the newest ride at some amusement park, it’s totally not. I remember being like five and going back there thinking Dracula himself was going to yank me out of that freaking soviet tin can Mom was driving us around in. Wanda still swears she heard voices up there. I mean I don’t know, we stayed with Mom’s aunt one time and she tells us this thing so creatively called Man-Beast was going to come down off the mountain for us if we didn’t behave.”

Peter glanced over to the both of you, further clarifying, “Not like Hank or anything though, it was basically just a werewolf I think. But if it’s a werewolf, call it that you know? What the hell is a Man-Beast? They had so many weird things that could take children. I feel like every story was, oh but don’t do that or Porga will get you. Oops, you talked back to your mother? Guess Tagar is coming tonight. Darn, forgot to brush your teeth? Nice knowing you, kid, Bova’s going to take you to live in the woods forever now.”

You were sort of just staring and listening, but out the corner of your eye you saw Kurt only nodding as if in complete understanding. You would hazard a guess that parts of Bavaria evidently had very similar folklore. Between the two of them, they could likely trade stories like this the whole flight.

But Peter just continued, “But yeah, Django was my gramps, just met him a couple times. And Pietro...well that’s just me. Like I said, nothing special. I was Pietro all the way until Mom started us in kindergarten.” He smirked a little. “Guess she figured the dorky little Jewish kid with the curly brown hair needed all the help he could get fitting in with all the John’s, Mark’s, and Scott’s of the world. And yeah, feel free to tell Summers I said that later.”

So she’d Americanized his name. It wasn’t unheard of with first or second generation immigrants, but still there was something a little sad about that. Yet you smiled softly, that image of the kindergarten age Peter frankly adorable in your mind. “You were a baby brunette?”

“Until the old X-gene flared at 12 or whenever that was yeah,” But he paused, a little surprised, just then realizing what look that was on your face. “Oh stop, you’re picturing it now aren’t you? I was a total dork, don’t do that. Seriously, no! I swear I will never let you find those pictures.”

But you just kept grinning. “No need. I can imagine this forever.”

“Hell, where is Jean?” Peter looked around in a little show of dramatics. “Memory wipe needed on aisle 3, Red.”

It was just too funny though, and honestly it made all the sense in the world. The physical resemblance between Peter and Erik would have been a lot more noticeable had they both still shared similar hair color and texture. Yes, you would bet Peter’s hair had even had that bit of auburn in it too back then.

“But I do have a question,” You spoke then, your tone sincere. “What do you actually want to be called?”

“Sexy?” He answered at once.

But you didn’t let him off the hook that easily, still waiting patiently for the real answer as you just watched him.

Finally he relented, but still seeming a bit non committal. “I mean I’ve heard both for so long, I answer to either. Really, I do. But if the Django comes out though, that’s Defcon 1. It means I’ve done something catastrophically wrong and Mom is about to go full on nuclear on my ass.”

You considered this for a moment, before trying it. “Pietro,” you said, looking for any difference in his expression.

He did grin at you, eyebrows going up a little.

“Peter?” You asked then.

And to that he just continued to smile. “Babe, it’s like you’re trying to pick the name of the new dog.” He raised the pitch of his voice a little, imitating a generic wife you guessed. “Honey, which one does he like better? Did his ears go up at that one?”

“Hey, I’m just trying to figure things out,” you defended. “Guess I’ll just go back to imagining all that curly brown hair now.”

“Noooo.” He whined.

———————————

The three of you had joked and talked for quite a while. But somewhere, maybe about two thirds through the flight, things did quiet back down. Eventually you decided to try and sleep some if you could. You weren’t tired yet, but you knew you would be by the time you landed.

With the difference in timezones, even though you’d left early in the morning Greek time, it would likely only be around lunch time in the U.S. after landing. While you already would have been traveling for almost twelve hours.

It was as if you’d get to repeat the day all over again. You had all that time still ahead of you, including having to convince the Professor to let you drive Peter home.

You closed your eyes for a bit, thinking of all the hypotheticals of what you could say. What you would argue if needed, and what Xavier may say in response. But as you tried to let your thoughts drift further, you realized you’d crossed your arms, little chill bumps on them as you opened your eyes to look up at the air vent above you.

Was it stuck open? You fiddled with it a moment, but felt no difference. Shifting to sit back up a little, you looked at the seatback in front of you again as well, in the pouch there with the old magazines.

“They don’t have any blankets,” Peter said quietly, easily interpreting the reasoning for your search.

You’d thought he’d already been asleep just as Kurt was though. You were surprised as Peter reached out, smoothly laying that jacket over your chest and arms. The one he’d taken earlier.

“See.” He added. “Crime does pay sometimes.”

You gave him a skeptical look still, but the jacket really did make the difference as you leaned back again in the seat, snuggling into it. “Thank you, thief.” You answered softly.

“Any time.” He smiled a little, before reaching down to click the button on the armrest between your seats. He moved the armrest up and out of the way, then running a warm hand under the jacket to find one of your own.

You grasped his hand when they met, intertwining your fingers together.

“Have a nice nap, see you in Jersey.” He said, yet closing his own eyes as well.

“See you in Jersey, Pietro.”

You felt him squeeze your hand more at that, and you couldn’t help but smile.

————————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

JK Day 2021

...and what a day it was. I know we’re a bit late with this when looking at KST but in our time zone it’s still September 1st so it counts, right? Besides I wanted to wait until the day was over for them so I could have everything the members would post for JK so I could put it in this post as memory for us to look back on in the future.

Furthermore, as extension for the celebrations, I want to finally sit down, write and post our post about JK and his bonds with the hyung line since it’s been so long since two anons asked us about that so what better time than the weekend after JK day, right?

Anyway, let’s get into it, shall we?

The day before JKs birthday he came onto Weverse and posted three different things, including a cute selca:

Everyone of course turned up their creativity to post something for JK and also wondered among themselves what he planned on using those lyric comments for, and if he would use them for anything at all.

Sometime later before the new RUN episode aired, Seokjin appeared on Weverse and, for whatever reason, commented birthday wishes for JK under the Weverse post about the upcoming RUN episode. Because of course he did.

More than an hour before midnight KST everyone got a notification from vlive that JK had gone live:

And truly, considering it was about to be his birthday, I love how it felt more like it was ours with the gift that kept on giving that this vlive turned out to be. 

Lots more below the cut:

Remember those posts that JK made in the morning on Weverse? As many, including myself, had guessed, JK gathered some of the lyric comments he liked most, or thought would work best, and proceeded to turn them into an actual song right before our eyes. The instrumental was gorgeous with a acoustic guitar and ballad like melody and it was truly fascinating watching him figuring out how to sing the lines, record them, redo them whenever he felt he could do it better, add adlibs in some places, and slowly but surely a song was created with lyrics in both English and Korean.

This really was the content I’ve always craved and I’m so, so happy we got to watch JK do this instead of him just showing us the final thing. You could see him having fun, even when he got a little frustrated at times or he wasn’t quite sure how he wanted to continue or how he wanted the words to sound like, and that he really knows what he’s doing. So many claim that Bangtan have no idea about producing and recording songs, which truly is such a stupid argument to make considering Yoongi is literally Producer SUGA and we know that, if the members want to make mixtapes they have to do them themselves, which we know Namjoon, Yoongi and Hobi have done. So JK doing all of that in the vlive? Checkmate against those idiots. Especially since it also isn’t the first time we’ve seen members work on tracks, like the behind the scenes of rap line working on DDAENG or Hobi working on songs, or even JK with Stay, even if we didn’t know it’s Stay at the time.

Once the song was finished JK went on to show us several more instrumentals he could’ve worked with, each one with a different vibe, before switching to singing a song by Justin Bieber saying he really loves his songs a lot. And then it was nearing midnight so he unpacked the cake he got, white icing/fondant with purple lettering spelling out STILL WITH YOU JK, very cute.

Right as midnight hit someone started to bang on the door so JK got up to see who’d come and, surprise, it was a very excited Hobi wishing him a happy birthday including singing the birthday song for him upon JKs request while JK lit up his golden heart shaped candle.

Hobi again returned two minutes after he’d left (between when at 1:18h JK mentioned that, for the first time that night, he’d do one more song to finish off the vlive, ha) to give him an ice cream cake he’d prepared, but also to get his phone which he’d accidentally forgotten in the room JK was in.

Once Hobi really left and JK got a taste of his ice cream cake, as well as the white cake which turned out to be chocolate flavored, the vlive concert began and, at the time, none of us knew what we were in for since we all thought he’d really do one or two more songs and that would be it. And yet that very much is not what happened, at all, and I’m so grateful for it.

This might just be the funniest screenshot in existence (please take note of the time stamps):

No wonder that, eventually, Seokjin decided to come onto Weverse to post wishes for JK a second time while also saying this (the picture is from their unit photoshoot for Winter Package):

The imagine of Seokjin just sitting in bed or whatever watching JKs vlive and hearing him say last song every like ten minutes and every time he just kept going...and going...and going while Seokjin is just waiting...and waiting...and waiting? Hilarious. But it’s also really cute how he’d wanted to wait until JK was done to not interrupt him or pull ARMYs attention away from the vlive. Truly I adore their bond, it’s adorable and chaotic and so wonderfully them.

Yoongi also posted his wishes for JK while the vlive was still going.

The one who waited until it was over was actually Namjoon who, with what he said in his tweet, actually revealed that he’d watched JKs vlive as well. In his vlive JK said that at the end of their concerts Namjoon used to always give his speech like a (school) principal, as in his long ending ment speeches, and that’s why Namjoon ‘signed’ his tweet with principal as well.

Truly I love how JK was just having fun singing their songs, taking requests from ARMY, rediscovering songs, like him wondering if they really have a song called Paradise (since the Korean title is different) and finally fulfilling ARMYs wish of hearing BTS sing it live, as well as being surprised and confused by requests for Heartbeat asking himself if them really have a song like that. But since ARMY kept asking for it, he finally looked it up and his reaction to realizing that, yes, it is a real song of theirs and also that that’s the song we were talking about which he’d completely forgotten about? Hilarious but also kind of heartbreaking for all the Heartbeat enthusiasts.

Here is the full list of all the songs he sang, some for longer, some shorter:

One thing that this vlive showed really well was just how amazing of a singer JK really is. It’s easy for people to dismiss his talent during concerts or performances, since they could always argue that him and the others get help due to the backing track etc., but here we had his raw voice singing along to their songs much the way any of us do. And he sounded stunning beginning to end. He’s such a talented singer and he’s worked so hard on his technique and voice and it’s really showing. Thinking back to what he said in his BE comeback Weverse interview about how he’d like to one day he brave enough to do a three hour concert on his own, I’d say this vlive shows that really shouldn’t be any kind of problem at all. If ARMY can listen to him essentially do karaoke for one and a half hours, then attending and enjoying a full on JK concert would be no issue whatsoever. It’d actually be amazing, I’m certain, and I’d totally be down to seeing that potentially become a reality one day in the future.

After two and a half hours, the vlive ultimately came to a close and JK said his goodbyes.

Hours later Hobi appeared on Weverse wondering what pictures of JK he could/should post for his traditional picture “spam” and everyone was immediately super excited. Hobi’s gallery holds some wonderful treasures so we all looked forward to what he would end up posting, though it would take a few hours until it would happen.

The funny thing is that he posted the first twt twice since the picture with Namjoon in it had Hobi’s iPhone in it which, as good Samsung representative, was a no, no, so he deleted the twt and posted it again with some stickers covering the phone. So cute. And his picture choices are wonderful. I particularly love that picture of JK in the white room dressed in black from back in 2019 when they performed Boy with Luv. And also their picture from a dinner the two of them went on together back in 2018.

In the meantime before Hobi posted his pictures, as requested in the picture that BH had posted for JKs birthday on the staff BTS account at midnight, one of the members posted his meal though it’s unclear which one of them it might’ve been. Looks super yummy though, wow.

And eventually the final member to come and wish JK a happy birthday was Jimin (and yes, I know Jimin’s twt came before Hobi’s but considering Hobi already wished him a happy birthday at midnight, that makes Jimin the last one):

Trans (cr. haruharu_w_bts):

our maknae happy birthday  i wish <you a happy birthday> a lot and a lot #KkookieHappyBirthday #JIMIN #HAPPYJKDAY

Taehyung didn’t post anything but considering his track record of doing something for the members off social media for their birthday, like giving Namjoon a forehead kiss, sending birthday wish videos to Seokjin (including roping others into doing it as well), or wishing Jimin a happy birthday as part of the MOTS ON:E exhibition, I wasn’t all that surprised by this.

And with that JK day 2021 came to a close. It started with a surprise (as in both the song based on ARMY comments and also the concert afterward) and ended with one as well, as in the In The SOOP Season Two announcement.

I hope JK had a wonderful day, celebrated happily with his members, friends and family however much that’s possible in these times, as well as with their busy schedule, and that this new year will be a happy one for him full of success, personal but also career wise. I’m curious and excited to see what will happen.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Let's Call It Funny

Prompt: Hi! If you know about those gen z peter parker posts, could your write something based on that? With Steve Getting It (tm) because fatalistic nihilism in humor tended to show up during the world wars and we’re seeing a reflection of that now? Sorry- I just think it’d make great options for steve and peter bonding, and dad!tony but actual emotions (gasp!) You can totally ignore this if you want!

Don't ever apologize for giving me such a great ask

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: uhhh gen z humor

Pairings: none! all found family in this bitch

Word Count: 2529

Here’s the thing about humor. It’s not necessarily that one generation is any funnier than another, it’s just that high school kids are perpetually the funniest people alive. Something about being in a pressure cooker of an environment with a bunch of other people whose bodies are changing in new unpredictable ways whilst having very little say in how their lives go creates humor. Gasp of shock, right?

So basically what Peter’s trying to say is that he’s fucking hilarious.

Come on, not only does he have the default high schooler stuff, he’s also gay, which gives him an instant bonus. He’s trans, which opens up a whole new subset of humor for him to explore. He’s neurodivergent as fuck, and we all know that makes people funny as hell. And if that weren’t enough, he’s severely traumatized and he’s Spider-Man.

Peter Parker is funny as hell.

What is truly devastating—and really, it’s their loss—is that so few people seem to appreciate it.

Ned gets it. Ned’s not someone Peter would expect to not get it, just because hey, it’s Ned. They’ve met each other in the hallways and been like ‘hey! You’re still alive! Congrats on having a body!’ Only for the other one to go ‘hey! You’re alive too! I wish I had an intangible form!’

Because bodies are stupid and evolution really fucked us over but at least we’re not horses.

A solid 50% of their interactions are just quoting John Mulaney and Bo Burnham bits back and forth at each other. Peter’s never gonna forget the day they both had detention and had to watch that stupid Cap PSA—it’s propaganda, you Nazi fuckwits—and something reminded them of the ‘horse loose in a hospital’ bit and they just did it. Full out. Stood up and did the actions and everything. The rest of the room was either trying to do it with them—and failing, because they didn’t have nearly enough practice—or looking so confused. The security guard—Paul, he’s great—just looked at them blearily after they finished and went:

“I mean, you kids are right, but you’re not supposed to talk in detention.”

Well, excuse them for trying to make it more entertaining for everyone.

MJ gets it. If Peter’s being honest, he learned most of his humor from her. She is the master and it is an honor to study in her wake. He’s definitely hijacked the asking whether or not anything’s actually meaningful existentialism jokes and they’ve wormed their way into his day-to-day repertoire.

“Why are you late, Mr. Parker?”

“Time is a social construct, Mrs. B, none of us are ever late or early except in the subjective spacetime paths. The limits of our sensory perception make it so we can’t tell if anything is real, let alone whether or not they conform to some arbitrary definition of ‘time.’”

“…just sit down, Peter.”

See? It works.

Aunt May gets…worried.

Sure, they’ve actually talked about when Peter needs help and wants to reach out and when he’s just making jokes off the cuff because hey, humor’s a great coping mechanism or it’s just a joke and not that serious. Peter loves his Aunt May, so so so much, and the last thing he wants to do is really worry her. And she’s gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s just joking and when he’s spiraling.

Sometimes, though…

“Peter,” Aunt May calls from the kitchen, “did you remember to stop by the store on your way home?”

Peter freezes halfway through the door.

“Peter?”

He swallows. “…no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am too stressed and consumed by the swirling pit of blackness deep in my soul to remember my head is connected to my body, let alone remember to go to the store.”

Silence.

“…Aunt May?”

“Do you want to drop off your stuff and then go to the store?”

“…yeah, please.”

“Love you, Pete.”

“Love you!”

“Try to remember that you’ve got arms so you can pick stuff up.”

“Got it!”

See? It’s fine.

The Avengers don’t get it. Like, at all.

Natasha and Clint like, sorta get it? They make the same jokes all the time when they think Peter can’t hear them, which—come on, you guys are super spies, surely you know people are gonna hear you when they’re gonna hear you. Natasha will make a crack about something, Clint will laugh and shove her shoulder. It’s their dynamic, we get it. But when Peter does it…

“Hey, Baby Spider?”

Peter sticks his head up from the ceiling. “Yeah?”

“Where’re you crawling off to?”

“I’m gonna go hide in the garage.”

Natasha blinks up at him. “Why?”

“Because if I get crushed by the airlock doors then I won’t have to do my paper tomorrow.”

Silence. Natasha’s mask is too good for Peter to actually see what’s going on with her, let alone from this angle, but silence isn’t good.

“Nat—oof!”

Something blurs out of the vent nearby and tackles him down onto the couch.

“Clint!”

“Nope,” Clint mutters, wrapping Peter up in a hug as Natasha comes to join them. “You’re staying with us now, Pete.”

“Guys, I’m fine.”

“Peter,” Natasha says softly, “don’t joke about that, you’ll make us worry.”

“I don’t wanna do that,” Peter mumbles, “but it’s fine.”

“Coping mechanism, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s got too many brain cells to do that,” Clint says, ruffling Peter’s hair.

“Stark has a lot of brain cells, you see what good that does him?”

“Hmm. Guess you’re gonna have to stay awhile, Pete.”

There are worse fates. Definitely.

Thor just kind of gets confused by it. He acts like Peter isn’t going to be absolutely fine because there’s no need to do anything like that. No, Peter, you don’t have to put the bleach in first into your cereal, there’s plenty of milk left over. No, Peter, you don’t have to throw yourself off the roof because your laptop is freezing, Stark has so many just lying around. No, Peter, you don’t have to pack a rucksack and run away to the Alps and live like a recluse, come here and get a hug.

Peter suspects Thor’s playing dumb on purpose. The man is smart as hell, there’s no way all of this is flying over his head. And honestly, it warms his heart a little bit when he sees Thor’s sincere, concerned look when he thinks Peter’s not looking.

Banner and Rhodey just kinda shake their heads and move on. They’re used to it. They live and work with some of the most dramatic fucking people in the goddamn universe, they’re used to a little bit of extra humor. Occasionally one of them will give him a look that says he’s pushing his luck, but that’s not often. Less often now ‘cause he knows what he can get away with. He’s also seen them hiding smiles behind their hands or poorly disguised coughs. They’re not as slick as they think they are.

Tony.

Tony is the fucking worst.

Peter can’t get away with so much as sighing too hard before Iron Dad™ is swooping in all soft words and concerned touches. Jesus. You’d think he’d get it, he uses humor as a coping mechanism too, goddamnit, why is he so worried about Peter?

Okay, fine, he knows why.

MJ’s over at the Tower, having another one of her ‘sketch people in crisis’ appointments with Natasha. Peter is coming off of a 32-hour caffeine rush and is violently wishing for death. Tony is in the kitchen doing…something.

“Hey, do you think bleach would make a good smoothie?”

Tony wheels around to see MJ pulling a glass out of the cupboard.

“Kid—“

“Sounds like a filling breakfast,” Peter groans, “can you make me one too?”

“…I’m legitimately concerned,” comes Tony’s mutter.

MJ ignores him. “Who’s the bitch on your forehead?”

Peter rubs absentmindedly at the massive knot on his head, courtesy of a wall that rudely decided to move at the last second while Peter was attempting to walk through a doorway. “He’s called DJ Braindeath and he’s my only friend in the world.”

“Peter—“

“Oh did you meet him at the furry convention?"

“Technically it’d be a buggie convention.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?”

“The pantry doesn’t have good coffee, I’m going to Starbucks.” MJ grabs her bag. “You want anything?”

“A will to live?”

“Peter, what the fuck—“

“Oof, I’ve only got like…20 bucks.”

Peter lets his head drop back to the counter. “Then just leave me here to die.”

“Can I have champagne at your funeral?”

“I’ll be dead, I won’t fucking care.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Then MJ’s gone and Peter gets treated to a 20-minute conversation with a very concerned Tony Stark that he doesn’t remember most of because hey caffeine crashes aren’t fun.

He definitely does it on purpose sometimes just to wind Tony up. Like there’s this one incident with an interview he does as Spider-Man and he gets asked what he thinks about Tony Stark’s newest intern, Peter Parker.

“That boy’s an embarrassment, just…complete failure. Can’t speak without stuttering through every other word and self-esteem issues all over the place. Also looks like he got dressed in the dark.”

The reporter had awkwardly moved on to another question. The interview aired later that day while Peter was at the Tower. Tony sat next to him on the couch about halfway through.

“You look good, Pete.”

Peter had mumbled halfheartedly, only to hear the reporter ask the same question.

“See, that’s the problem with having a secret identity, you don’t…” Tony trailed off as he heard the answer.

Peter snorted as Spider-Man finished talking. “Say that to my face, you bitch, get a real job. At least I don’t look like someone vomited silly string all over my spandex.”

“Are you okay?”

See? Fun.

The only one he’s made a conscious effort to not be this funny around is Steve.

Because, okay, here’s the thing. Steve’s disappointed look has no effect on him anymore. He’s immune, motherfuckers, he’s had detention too many times for it to still work. Here’s the other thing: Steve doesn’t actually use that tone of voice that often. It’s this meticulously crafted image he plays up in interviews because it catches all the bad guys so off guard when Captain America is suddenly swearing a blue streak at them and telling them to go fuck themselves in, honestly, quite creative ways. The sincere Steve Rogers disappointment and concern still very much works. Also doesn’t help that Steve does caring so fucking well, like…who gave him the right to say a few things and hold Peter like he’s something precious and do the quick one-two punch of saying a super sincere compliment and following it up with ‘I love you.’ Who did that? It’s rude. Stop it.

And yeah, Steve’s the resident Mom at the Ready. It’s a risk to even sit on your bed looking sad ‘cause here he comes, wearing something snuggly and saying ‘hey’ in that stupid, stupid compassionate voice. So Peter knows he’s just gonna end up crying from too much soft if Steve actually gets concerned. Which won’t be fair because he’s gonna try and explain that he’s fine and it’s just his sense of humor while crying. Yeah, like that’s gonna be believable.

So he’s trying not to but damnit it’s hard.

Then he walks into the kitchen one day to see Steve struggling with the toaster.

It’s one of Tony’s new prototypes—which means that anyone struggling with it is so fair—and from the looks of it, it’s managed to not only burn the bread to a crisp, but also mangle the slices beyond recognizable shape.

Peter’s not paying that much attention. He’s on his phone, heading towards his spot in the corner with the beanbag chairs and definitely doesn’t recognize Steve as he goes.

He only plops down and hears someone declare, in a completely deadpan voice: “There is no point to existing at all.”

“Oh, mood.”

He doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t even know who said that, that’s how hyper-focused he is right now. He hears the others come in and feels Clint plonk down next to him.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Sah, dude.”

“Just vibing. Did I do it right?”

“Yeah, man you’re going great.”

“You teach Thor ‘yeet’ yet?”

“We’re getting there.”

“Steve,” he hears Tony call from the kitchen, “what the fuck did you do?”

“Language.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me about language when you’re making toast that looks like a goddamn welder’s table, what is that?”

“Your prototype’s work, I imagine.”

“How did you even—“

Clint chuckles next to him as the two of them start fondly bickering. Peter’s too busy speedrunning the five stages of grief in his head.

Did…did Steve say the thing about there being no point to existence at all?

No…no way.

He must be imagining things.

Then, of course, there’s a chime on his phone.

Ned: Did u do the bio hw?

There was bio homework?

Ned: yeah, due at noon

“I now know why God abandoned this timeline and when will death come to take me?”

The room goes silent.

Shit.

“Peter,” Clint says, “it’s gonna be fine, you can do bio homework in your sleep—“

“Are you okay?” Ah, that’s Thor.

“Kid—“

And Nat, and Tony’s probably rushing over here as he speaks.

Then there’s another voice.

“We can only pray the reaper arrives early for his appointment with us, kid.”

Peter’s head snaps up.

Steve.

Steve fucking Rogers raises a coffee cup at him in salute and takes a sip. He makes a face.

“…that was definitely salt,” he mutters, before shrugging and downing the whole thing.

…what?

Peter’s still staring at him until he catches his gaze and winks.

Oh, fuck yes.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony says, hands on his hips, “explain.”

Steve just gives him a look. “I grew up in the Great Depression, Tony, and I was in the army. You don’t think I have a fatalistic sense of humor?”

“Plus the fact that most of my generation is resorting to types of humor found when death and stress are so ever-present that you have to joke about it says something,” Peter adds, “doesn’t it?”

Steve raises his cup again. “See? He gets it.”

And just like that, the bond between Peter Parker and Steve Rogers was written, formed, and sealed in salt and existentialist depression.

“There’s two of you,” Tony mumbles, “oh my god, there’s two of you.”

“Oh, you just wait ’til Buck and Sam get back.”

Peter can’t fucking wait.