#I'd love to see more development from both of them I don't want it to be quick and easy ehehe

[joramrinah]

WOW. Honestly this is impressive, i see how much thought you've put into this, and I can relate because these 2 live in my head rent free. I agree with most of what you've said.

Let me start with saying that I've seen a lot of people being like "we don't need them to kiss, this is already a romantic relationship", well, it's unfortunately not tho. It's one thing for people to be okay with "situationships" irl, you do you, that's your life, I don't care. However, seeing how clearly their relationship is meant to be romantic, and not going there, and people being okay with it because "subtext is enough" is just the beginning of a slippery slope that will lead us back to less and less queer representation on tv. Half of the canon sapphic ships that there are, don't have nearly the same development or story these two have, and if we don't fight for such a deep relationship, more and more times we're gonna be left with halfhearted, afterthought, blink and you'll miss it types of relationships, that will be all the representation we get.

Ava and Deb have one of the most interesting, fleshed out, deep, "this was written in the stars" dynamics we've seen in a LONG time. I love age gaps, and while this is definitely a part of their dynamic I'd say it's one of the less important or interesting ones about them, because they literally don't care/remember about it unless it's to hurt each other, or to take jabs at each other in a fun way. I'd even go as far to say that their age gap is a part of why they work so well. Yes, it gets in their way when they allow it to, but it's because they're both stubborn and a little bit self-righteous, but it works because they both have things to learn from each other. Deb has years of experience, a confidence that comes with spending decades doing something, she's smart, strategic, cunning, she knows what the game is and how to play it in her favor, all of that and more she can "teach" Ava. Ava is open-minded, carrying, she shows Deb there's more to life than work, broadens her horizons, helps her see things from another perspective, gets her to try new things, new experiences, helps her fight for her dreams, and encourages her. They don't work because of, or in spite of the age gap, it's just a part of them, a fun bonus.

But as I started saying, it's not even the most interesting part of their dynamic. There's so much more to them:

-They're great creative partners, it's like they almost have one mind when it comes to comedy, for both of them comedy was their saving grace when they were younger, a way to express themselves, a place to be understood, a light at the end of their darkest days, somewhere comforting and safe to escape to when reality was too much. It's what connected them in the first place, it's where they speak the same language.

-Ava literally makes Deb a better person. It's the small things like Deb using a reusable cup, rather than the plastic one, telling a group of boys she's gonna decrease her carbon footprint so that they have a better chance at having a decent planet to live on, using her platform to help her long time friend turn a "scandal" into something more positive. Thanks to Ava even relationships in Deb's life with other people improve. It's also the big things, like Deb paying off an awful guy so that he doesn't step on a stage again, doesn't get a platform and do more harm, letting go of her lifelong dream because she realized what her boss/es wanted from her was wrong and not what she's gonna stand for. And yes, she might backtrack, or question those decisions, but before Ava she wouldn't even have thought twice about what decision to make, she would make the one that benefits her the most, no matter the cost. I think people can't truly grasp how big of an influence Ava has on Deb, instead of the other way around, because it's Deb who's showing more and more growth (not that Ava isn't, but it's more subtle).

-They're willing to do things for each order they wouldn't do for anyone (or barely anyone) else, Deb going to Ava's dad's funeral, going into and looking through a trash can to help find Ava's dad's ashes. Ava letting Deb teach her how to float in the water.

I could name more but this is long enough, the point is, their relationship is incredibly detailed, explored and interesting, age gap or not (I really, really, really do love age gaps, but since people wanna focus only on it, I wanna highlight some other reasons).

Now, moving along, the fact that Deb is so deep in the closet she found Narnia inside of Narnia is something she's gonna have to work on, and it's not gonna be easy. The problem for her isn't necessary with being queer, it's with HER being queer. I mean she surrounds herself with gay people left and right (CLUE NUMBER ONE, YOU'VE GOTTA FIND YOUR PEOPLE) she loves the gay community, it's with herself that she has an issue with, or rather multiple, she doesn't accept herself on many levels, and her self hatred leads to internalized homophobia (which, also was not helped by the reality of how gay people were treated when she was growing up, or even as an adult in the 80's-90's). But, from personal experience, having a person like Ava be so openly and unashamedly queer by her side (she did mostly surround herself with exclusively gay men, and while that helps in a way, she definitely needed to develop a close relationship with a queer woman, to see her perspective) can be a tremendous help in the road to self acceptance and discovery. She sees that Ava's queerness doesn't really stand in her way as it might've 20-30 years ago, professionally or personally, hell, even Ava's mom is quite accepting of that aspect of her. That all helps. I get what you're saying with Deb seeing behind people's facade of "acceptance", but she can also be stuck in her ways, and the world HAS come a long way, not long ENOUGH, but a long way non the less. That's why they'll balance each other, Ava will help Deb see that not everyone is out to get her, and even if there's some assholes out there they have each other, and their community to lean on, and Deb will teach Ava to read people better, to help protect herself a little bit more.

As far as representation, I think partially they can be, because how many of us queer women in their 20's-30's would love to get with an older woman (and like, we do have some real life age gap relationships in media, which I never EVER saw growing up, so it's amazing) and, as they say, never say never, there might be a hacks without cameras playing out somewhere in the world, it's a wild place. I've mentioned a couple of times in passing here that I've been in love with my ex teacher for the past almost 10 years, and Deb reminds me so much of her, and Ava so much of myself (maybe it's me projecting, but there IS a lot of similarities) so I personally feel very represented, and hope I can get something (not exactly alike, I'm not that strong, but ya know) along the lines of their relationship, but I do get it being like escapism, because it is for me as well, that's WHY it's needed. The lack of relationships like theirs showcased is precisely why we want/need them to be together. They're one of a kind, and hopefully, a start of many, many more.

I see nothing wrong with wanting to see them bang, because:

1. we see them sleeping with multiple other people, it's not a reach

2. it's just fun, and after all the things we've endured, it would be nice to see the payoff that way

3. Deb mentions multiple times she doesn't enjoy the act (with men), cut to, her having her mind blown by finally sleeping with someone she ACTUALLY wants to sleep with (and the cathartic feeling of being with a woman for the first time after denying yourself for so long yada yada)

That being said I absolutely agree with what you said about the non sexual intimacy, and about their partnership. Shit, both of them deserve to finally have someone to hug them, kiss them, and listen to them talk about their day or anything they might have on their minds really. In the section about what they both would provide the other in the relationship you put it perfectly. Deb should have someone who dotes on her and gives her the "princess treatment" she never got, and Ava would definitely thrive with having someone solid, who has (mostly) their shit figured out, and can help her figure out hers (another bonus point for the age gap, Ava thrives with an older partner)

Ultimately, as you said, it is JPL's decision. It hurts being played with like that without the certainty of it paying off the way we want it to (it's still a good show, don't get me wrong, but this just feels like a 4 year set-up and it would SUCK if it was all that it was) but I will continue to hold out hope, because what else is there to do at this point.

Sorry this is so long, but you've kinda opened the floodgates of what's been sitting in my mind. Also, if you ever wanna chat my messages are open!

Also, do y'all see how easy it is to have them date??? Spa, long walks around city attractions, karaoke, even clubs, or quiet evenings at home with a glass of wine, DO Y'ALL SEE HOW EASY IT IS FOR THEM

[milkamel]

"The One Who Understands"

(I can't get over this episode omg it's beautiful, everything I wished to see and more)

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

“blue lock is just a manga about soccer” “blue lock is fruity and nothing else” i think nagi's character writing alone can immediately shut down all of these accusations. so now that chapter 302 has finally been released, let's have a (not so) quick discussion about nagi's character.

let's start from the beginning, during nagi's childhood. we've never seen a flashback in the official manga of nagi's backstory, nor do we see one in episode nagi, but there are numerous hints that lead us towards what might be nagi's childhood. in the egoist bible, it's said that nagi was raised with a very hands off style. in episode nagi, nagi says that his parents once told him “don't die before we do”.

so there's a lot to unravel there. for one, we can safely assume that nagi's parents likely weren't extremely involved in his life. judging from the way that nagi goes to an elite prep school and can live on his own with a consistent amount of food and lots of furniture, nagi is well off. judging from these factors, i wouldn't be surprised if nagi's parents were people who had to go on business trips often.

now, about the thing that they had told nagi. for one, nagi is seventeen when reo first meets him. a parent probably should say these sorts of things to their child in the first place, but for the argument's sake, let's just say that his parents are extremely inexperienced and not good with social cues. we can see that nagi is clearly emotionally stunted, likely from a lack of parental guidance or warmth as a child.

a parent telling their child about dying at such a young age is already alarming. yes, i know that there are warm and loving implications. that the parents wouldn't be able to live without nagi. but at the same time, considering how there are some people who are extreme pessimists, wouldn't that also imply that the parents should die before the kid?

and i'd also like to bring up another point. when nagi goes back “home”, he goes back to his dorm at school, not his parents’ house. i know that nagi still has to go to school, but does he not even bother to go to see his parents? do his parents not care enough to go and visit their son, who they watched fall from grace?

but i digress. basically what i'm saying is that from all of the hints we recieve throughout the story and additional media, nagi was likely emotionally neglected as a child due to his parents.

now let's talk about his relationship with reo. you can interpret their relationship in any way your want, though i personally see them as romantic. i think kaneshiro wrote them as soulmates, considering how they're both opposites and the same. reo recieved a suffocating amount of love in his childhood because his parents were so involved in his life. at least, that's how it is at face value. although, like nagi's parents, i have no doubt that they surely love reo, reo's parents definitely view reo as an heir to the corporation sometimes rather than their own son.

reo is seemingly always emotionally mature and calm, but that's not the case. we see numerous times throughout the series that reo has seemingly “grew” and that he has gotten over nagi or that he can do everything by himself from now on. but the momnt that something happens between him and nagi again, his development always end up shattering. reo is emotionally immature when it comes to nagi. i don’t think there's any other way to put that.

i think that nagi began to care more about everything after meeting reo. but at the same time, i also think that nagi is the type of person who cares too much. he cares so much that he pretends that he's just some nonchalant guy. in chapter 302, we see nagi walk by the stairs that he first met reo on and reminicing the time he met reo. but he continues to deny his love and desperation for soccer, until the end of the chapter, when he breaks down in tears.

nagi reminds me of a parent in a way. the type who continuously puts their child through hardship and always making their child do so many extracurriculars and sports, and the child just htes them, but when the child ends up being a successful adult due to the extracurriculars, the child finally realizes that the parent was just trying to thelp them all along but wasn't good enough at communication to tell them. i think that was reo and nagi’s relationship during the second selection, though nagi isn't reo's parent in any way shape or form.

i think nagi was originally just suppoed to be the stereotypical lazy relatable lovable genius character who would get blue lock more popularity, and i think reo was originally supposed to just be some annoying little brat who only saw nagi as a dog. and during the first selection in the original blue lock manga, before episode nagi released, i do believe that's how it was.

but i digress, i'm reaching too far there. so now let's talk about isagi and how isagi shaped more of nagi's characterization.

reo was the reason why nagi ever played soccer in the first place, isagi was the reason nagi continued, and reo was the reason why nagi kept on playing soccer to the end and why nagi couldn't play soccer anymore.

i think that isagi, similar to reo, serves as an opposite to nagi. but unlike reo, who still shares many similarties with nagi, isagi is completely different to nagi. i think that's the real reason why nagi chose isagi's team during the second selection, and not actually because of isagi's goal during the team v vs team z match.

so yeah, sorry for the yap session again. basically nagi is someone who pretends to be nonchalant but secretely cares too much lmao.

[angelltheninth]

Saw your post about Arcane sapphics, could I request the same characters with them reacting to being readers first serious relationship?

No problem Anon, I love all of those characters, feel free to send in more requests for them.

Pairing: Vi, Caitlyn Kiramman, Maddie Nolen, Sevika, Ambessa Medarda x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, developing relationship, casual to serious relationship, first kiss as a couple, teasing, slightly suggestive

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions

A/N: I bring sustenance for the wlw part of the Arcane community!

Well, she's the same, which is surprising to you but when you think about where she was forced to grow up it starts making more sense. Both of you are in the same boat, but Vi carries herself with a bit more confidence. Much like everything else she does.

"Not a lot of stable relationships in prison, sweet stuff. I'd love it if you took my serious relationship virginity, I've been looking to lose it." She grins and leans in close to you, her hands roaming down your hips. "Now, how many of yours can I take?"

"None if you keep talking like that." You pushed her face away from yours, leading to Vi biting your hand, lightly.

"We'll see about that. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm very charming. Seriously now, how did a cutie like you stay single this whole time? If I met you before now I'd definitely want to date you." Her arms closed around your body, bringing you close and brushing her lips against your ear, making you shiver.

She was definitely buttering you up. Vi's lips pressed against the sensitive part below your ear. "I have a very specific type of girl that I go for, and that's you. Strong, brave, pure of heart, hotheaded, with tattoos, able to break me in half, you get it." Vi laughed, music to your ears but a moment later she lifted you up and smiled up at you, as if to show you that you chose the right with her.

"You do realize I was voted one of Piltover's biggest heartbreakers right? I'm not ashamed of that title, far from it. But darling, do you really think I care if you were in a relationship before?" Caitlyn could tell you were a little nervous while on your date. Now she finally knew why. If this worked out this would be the first serious relationship you've been in.

Of course you knew Caitlyn had a bit of a reputation among the ladies. She was popular for a reason, "It's... a little hard to believe that a woman like you would be seriously interested in me. Not that I don't think I'm hot, but I've been told I'm more hook up material."

Her brows furrowed in mild anger. "Who told you that? You deserve to be in a long-term relationship, anyone who missed out on a girl like you made a huge mistake." She pulled you against her chest, her hands gently massaging into your tense shoulders. "Better for me, I get you all to myself now." Her cocky grin made your body feel warm, a familiar kind of warmth.

Honestly you expected that she would be bored of you by now but Caitlyn kept asking you out again and again. Other people began to notice too, but she was never one to care about rumors.

"Does... that mean I get to call you my girlfriend now? And tell you I love you in front of other people?" Caitlyn nodded quickly, her hand cradling your cheek and pulling you into a chaste kiss, the first official kiss of your new relationship.

Being a spy doesn't leave much time for serious relationship, not that she doesn't try when she really likes someone. Someone like you. "Of course I'd love to date ya, love. What kind question is that? Yer a catch!" Maddie smiled right before she kissed you.

But when she pulled back and saw you biting your lip nervously she feared she might have rushed in or misunderstood things. Her hands found yours, her thumbs rubbing the back of your hands, leading you to the bed. "I've... never been in a relationship before, so I don't really know how to do it. Believe it or not I've been winging it this whole time."

"I had a feeling. No offense to ya but it's real easy ta tell ya were nervous the whole date. Glad to know it wasn't cause of me." She smiled to herself, also starting to get shy, she wasn't used to being so vulnerable. "I'm nervous too, don't know if ya could tell. Every time ya kiss me I get the shivers. Good kind! I think it's been... about a year or so since I've been serious 'bout anyone."

"And you want to be serious with me?" You asked, hopeful. Since she wasn't gonna stay here forever it was a lot to ask for of her. "I don't want to pressure you into it though."

"Gods no! I love being with ya! Yer so cute I can hardly hold myself back when I'm around ya. My boss doesn't like that but hey, the heart wants what it wants. For as long as I'm here I'd love to be with ya." There was really no telling how long that will be. Maddie knew that too, all too well, but she wanted to make good memories with you, for as long as she was able to she wanted to be with you, kiss you every chance she got.

Sevika blinked, slowly. "And? What is that important, sweetheart? Do you have some crazy ex hook-up or something? Point me in her direction, let's go." She was already gearing up for a fight. One that she would win.

"No! You meathead, not everything is a brawl! Listen to me!" You pulled her towards you and into the bedroom, closing the door behind the two of you. "I'm trying to open up about my relationship inexperience."

"Oh. Okay." Again, she didn't really have that much of a reaction. Instead of that she sat down and pulled you into her lap, "Does that make you feel bad or something? Cause I don't care about that stuff all that much, you know. I just want you all to myself, and if you're looking for more experience I am very happy to help out." Her hand smacked your ass, affectionately, grinning when your hips moved against hers in response.

It made you feel better, knowing that Sevika wasn't placing any pressure on you. Not even when you started your relationship. After the first night you realized she was assertive but not pushy, letting you make first moves and only then escalating to the point where clothes came off.

"You're so cute when you're nervous. Like a little kitten backed into a corner. But that also makes me want to protect you. If I'm your first real relationship then I'll make damn sure I'll be the last." When Sevika promised things to you she always delivered on them. It was basically a marriage proposal. Maybe she was moving a bit fast.

"I already knew that, pet. If you planned on hiding it from me, first you shouldn't hide anything from me, and second, you were really bad at it." Ambessa laughed out loud and patted you on the shoulder, her large hand eclipsing it. "Does that bother you?"

"Not exactly. I'm worried that it bothers you." Her hand grabbed your chin suddenly and forced you to make eye contact with her. "Uhm... yes?"

"Do not assume things about me. I rather like knowing that I'll show you the ropes, I'll get to take so many of your firsts won't I?" She moved your head to the side, her full lips pressing against your neck, her other hand against your lower back and her thick, muscular thigh between your legs. "Even if it's not forever I will make sure you remember every bit of it."

You shuddered against her hold, your heart drumming against your chest, blood rushing south. No matter what she did there was no way you would ever forget about her, she had to be aware of that already. Especially as far as your firsts go.

As soon as her hands started pulling at your clothes you yelped in alarm. "I-Is my body all you want to date me for?!" She didn't answer. She stared at you before she pulled her own shirt off. "Ambessa! Really?!" But what better way to celebrate a new relationship.

[kimberly-spirits13]

Growing Up in the Justice League HC

Purely self indulgence cause I've been on this and idk why so bear with me here

I can just easily romanticize growing up in the Justice League too easily and it would be a problem

you're brought in at as a baby to be trained by Diana

Apollo brings you to her and tells her that you are an ancient being that regenerates as a new person when you die and this is the form that you have taken. As you get older, you will remember the skills and memories of your past lives but you will have to be raised with someone who can handle you

Diana just loves babies so she had no problem with that

I'd say the league has been established for some time during this point and everyone knows each other's identities in the core group

You grew up in Paris and New York being raised as a mama's child

Bruce is the closest you get to a dad and he does his best

SPOILS YOU ROTTEN

all the Barbies and Legos and whatever toys you'd want as a child

They know that you've been trained as an assassin, wizard, queen, knight, sorceress, scientist, all of these other things that can be traumatic so they just want you to have a great, decent childhood

when you start remember things they begin training you to be a hero

It's like PE and recess all in one since they're really just trying to figure out what you can do

Clark treats you like a fragile piece of glass up until you're a teen cause teenagers confuse him and he just cannot not see you as an innocent beep boppin child sometimes

Barry keeps up with the culture and knows all the songs from your favorite childhood movies and tv shows that you grew up watching on the massive computer in the watch tower when you were up there

will dance to any Barbie song since he knows them all by heart

Hal makes fun of you two but secretly enjoys the movies and is very emotionally invested in Princess and the Pauper and Diamond Castle

Diana and Bruce make sure that you have a great education and training

They are the mature parents of the group and want to make sure you're a functioning member of society

you've got a bag full of grandparents in the Kents, Allans, Princes, Alfred and they all love you to death

Alfred teaches you to make the best tea and gardening, Ma Kent teaches you to quilt and make bread, Pa Kent teaches you how to drive a tractor and farm, Hippolyta teaches you about the Greek gods and ancient cultures and how to ride horses, the Allans would have loads of board games to play and love having you over

Once Young Justice or Teen Titans comes around you don't join since you're officially a Justice League member and get along better with the adults since you were raised by them

That doesn't mean that you don't like or hang out with the kids, it's just that you have better inside jokes with Hal and Barry

When Superboy comes around and the League disappears, you were the only one not taken by the portal since you were helping out some civilians

You knew that Clark wasn't dead and you knew the League was somewhere

What kept you afloat was humor and Kon attached to that since he just needed someone that wasn't insane in his life

you probably won't develop romantic feelings for each other but it's more of a camaraderie since you were both raised in a really unorthodox way

when the league finally comes back, you say it's the happiest day of your life and rant to them that you were the only one who knew they weren't gone but no one understood it

Hal and Barry are known for having a thing for chicken tenders and make sure to instill an addiction in you for chicken tenders

Arthur (Aquaman) really really really likes them too but he doesn't realize it until he comes to the League

Clark would be the one to take you out for ice cream randomly or if you're having a bad day

the mother hen therapist type

You're America's favorite Justice Leaguer and often go viral for in uniform interactions with the League

Dancing with Flash at a Presidential ceremony because the music is too beep boopin good and you can't help but bop around a little bit

Media also loves you as a civilian and it's been suspected that you are the love child between Diana and Bruce since I mean- that would make the most sense

it's a running joke in the league

[felassan]

David Gaider on Flemeth, under a cut for length:

"I have a type. I admit it. There are certain wells I can return to repeatedly and always find something new to explore. One of them is older female characters. Mike used to rib me about it. Consider Wynne. Meredith. Genevieve. And, of course, the biggie: Flemeth. Why are they a type? I... don't know, honestly. I guess I have a feeling that older men fade, they strive to regain their youth or establish a legacy and we've seen that story a thousand times, but older women? They become free to become something new. I guess I see so many possibilities in that. I had a conception of who Flemeth was, and why, right from the very start. Her creation went hand in hand with Morrigan, as a being whose thirst for retribution hundreds of years ago attracted an entity (slight confession: I didn't know Mythal specifically, at the time, "an elven god" was enough). I also knew where Morrigan was right and very wrong about her. Misconceptions of the truth are built into DA's foundation, and they were fundamental to this mother-daughter relationship I was building. Like many seeds I'd put in the world, however, I had no idea whether I'd ever get to explore it. Knowing that she was a character of possible future importance, if not a major player in DAO, I wasn't much surprised when she was one of the first cuts the art team made in terms of getting a unique appearance. Thus the "batty old woman" players met in DAO. Not as hard a cut as the Qunari, though."

"Going into DA2, I wanted both Morrigan and Flemeth, but we could only have one. So I picked Flemeth. This was the game where she really got to come into her own. I remember the art team coming and asking if it was OK if she got a new model, as it'd be a retcon of sorts. I didn't care. I wanted it. I honestly don't remember whether Kate Mulgrew was cast before or after Claudia. After, I think? All I recall is that Cab came into my office one day and asked if Kate might be a good fit. Asked me, the dyed-in-the-wool Trekkie who had stuck with Voyager even through the admittedly lean years? The squeal I made was un-manly. Cab took that as a "yes". 😅 I didn't get to talk to Kate until DA2, however. Schedules being what they were, we had a tight window to record Flemeth... so I had to write all her scenes before almost anything else in DA2 was written, before I even had a team! Ack! It was OK, though, for the most part. I knew where I wanted to take her, and a big part of it was going to explain her transition - to set her up for the future. So I whipped up a script in, like, two days and off we went. Kate was a marvel in the booth. She adored Flemeth and you could really tell. I didn't get to meet Kate in person, however, until DAI. This came pretty late in its development, compared to when we recorded her for DA2, and we flew down to Virginia (to accommodate her schedule - she was writing her memoir at the time, I think) for a single session. It was going to be *tight*."

"I was a mess. I was finally going to meet Captain Janeway... and yes yes, I know she's also more than that. But come ON. When we sat down, I figured I'd have to talk her through the character all over again. It'd been years since that one session at the start of DA2, right? And even more since DAO. But, no. Kate remembered Flemeth perfectly. I remember sitting there as she told me how much she loved the character, how rare it was to get one with so much texture and possibility. She called out my writing - my writing! - and waxed poetic about how she viewed Flemeth's arc. I... I was floored. 🫠 Then we began recording. One issue that quickly reared its head was how Caroline had to speed through the lines if we hoped to finish. Kate was a trooper, and most takes she'd get it in one (which is rare), but I was alarmed because we weren't giving Kate time to read the VO comments on each line. I brought it up, as there were some lines (so much sarcasm) that required nuance - Kate was getting them, oddly, but I was worried. "Oh, it's fine," Kate said. "I read the comments as we go." "How could you? We're going so fast!" "I'm a speed reader." Oh. OK, then. That certainly explained it. 😁 We got to the confrontation scene with Morrigan and she nailed it. Over and over. More than once, Caroline would make a call and, before I could even interject and say "no, Kate had it right, actually" Kate would explain exactly why she did it that way and why it worked for Flemeth. I was in love. She did the "I will see her avenged!" section all in one go. I got chills. Then we got to the final scene. You know the one. With Solas. It was this beautiful moment. She took it somewhere quiet and sad... and when she got to that last line, we all felt it: Flemeth was dead. Everyone was in tears. I suppose I could talk more about the process. How she started off aligned with Morrigan's original Delirium inspiration, but I didn't pull back her loopy way of talking as much (bet you wondered). I still don't know why it was so easy to slip into her voice, but I'm grateful I got the chance. ❤️"

[source thread]

[imaginespazzi]

Part 6: To Trying Again

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15

I don't wanna mess this thing up (I don't wanna push too far)

(In which an "evil" writer might surprise you guys just a little bit with this part)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff and Angst

Words: 5.6K

TW: Swearing (I think that's it?)

A/N: Happy Monday lovelies! This is sort of a filler-ish short chapter though I do think it's important to both plot and character development. I'd like to preface this by saying I've never been to Minsk or Park Pieramohi so I'm very much going off of pictures. Editing and I remain on very, very bad terms so pretty please let me know of typos so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3

July 2018 

“You’re being too loud,” Azzi whisper-screams at the blonde girl in front of her as she closes the door to her room behind her with a little too much force. 

Paige turns her head back every-so-slightly with a pronounced eye roll, “will you please relax.”

“I would if you’d just be a little more careful,” Azzi glares, taking cautious steps as if the sound of her sneakers across the carpeted floor could potentially wake up any of the coaches. 

“Azzi,” Paige says exasperatedly, “the coaches are all the way on the other end of the hallway. Besides, they're probably all sleeping.”

And despite her stubbornness, Azzi can concede that Paige has a point there. It’s nearly midnight and the game against Spain earlier in the day might have had a final score that made it seem like the USA U17 women's basketball team had won handily, but the game itself had been draining to say the least. The post-victory dinner had featured a bunch of worn out teenagers gobbling their food without much conversation and a cohort of coaches who seemed like they needed an hour of drinking followed by good night’s sleep. But even the exhaustion of the day hadn’t been enough to prevent Paige Bueckers and her diabolical mind from coming up with the idea to sneak out into the city of Minsk. 

“No,” Azzi had said immediately even before the words had been spoken, that shimmering glint in Paige’s eyes a dead giveaway as she sidled up to Azzi at the salad bar. 

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” Paige had pouted. 

“You never say anything good.”

“That’s crazy. You’re so mean to me.”

“So mean,” Azzi had nodded in agreement, “so how about you go and bother someone else.”

“Azzi please. We haven’t had just Paige and Azzi time in ages. Don’t want someone else. Just want you.”

And after that well, there wasn’t really any chance of saying no. Azzi’s only fifteen and she doesn’t know that much about love, but sometimes when Paige looks at her with those earnest blue eyes and a smile that promises i’ll always be here, she thinks the way her heart starts to flutter erratically to a beat of and i wouldn’t want anyone else to stay, might just be the start of her finding out. 

“See,” Paige grins triumphantly as the two girls find their way out of their hotel and onto the street, “told you we wouldn’t get caught. Shit’s just too damn easy.”

Azzi rolls her eyes at the attitude, “don’t tempt fate.”

“Fate’s got nothing in front of Paige Bueckers. I make my own fate,” Paige winks as she links her arms through Azzi. 

It’s a mundane amount of contact, absolutely nothing special to it, but Azzi feels herself shiver in spite of the humidity that’s circling around them. She doesn’t quite know how it happened. One moment she was staring across the court, judging the skinny blonde practicing free throws and coming to the conclusion that she’d be no threat; the next moment said girl was next to her on the plane back from Argentina and Azzi, a self-admitted introvert, found herself rattling off about everything and nothing with this girl who seemed to have discovered the keys to all of Azzi’s locks. Hours of talking had bled into days and days had bled into months and despite the fact that facetime had taken the place of in-person conversations, the word friendship had seemed too cavalier a word to describe the relationship Paige and Azzi were building. 

Paige had whittled away all of Azzi’s carefully constructed armor until she was buried deep underneath her skin and Azzi’s sure there’s no knife in the world sharp enough to carve the blonde out from where she lives underneath Azzi’s ribcage. Azzi doesn’t want anyone to try and dig her out. She  thinks she might bleed out if they do. 

“Az,” Paige whines, waving her free hand in the younger girl’s face, “are you even paying attention to me?”

“That depends,” Azzi hums, “are you saying anything interesting?”

“I’m always saying something interesting.”

“You’re always saying something. The interesting is subjective,” Azzi teases, laughing when Paige pouts. 

“I sneak you out to give you an adventure and this is how you repay me? With insults?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her heart.

“Walking boring streets is not an adventure. Virginia has streets too.”

“It’s not about the streets, it’s about where the streets lead to,” Paige says with grave seriousness. 

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “are you entering your philosopher Paige era?”

“I’d make a good philosopher,” Paige waggles her own eyebrows as they two girls find themselves entering park Pieramohi. 

“Virginia has parks too, you know Paige?” Azzi says skeptically. 

Paige lets out a dramatic sigh, “will you just keep walking, woman. Sometimes I wonder if you even like me?”

It’s said like a joke but there’s a hint of insecurity beaded into it that buzzes in Azzi’s ears as she wraps a careful hand around Paige’s wrist, stopping the two of them where they are. 

“Hey,” she whispers softly, nudging the older girl, “you don’t ever have to wonder with me. I’m always gonna like you Paige. Even if you’re a pain in my ass half the time.”

“Had to ruin it with the last part, didn't you?” Paige complains but her eyes twinkle at the reassurance, “Just so you know I’m gonna be a pain in your ass forever.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Azzi promises as they continue strolling through the park. 

The silence is peaceful and the breeze that flows around them is like a comforting hug. And Azzi thinks that she’d be okay if there wasn’t a destination for them to get to, as long as the journey came with Paige by her side. 

“We’re almost there,” Paige says slowly, a slightly nervous edge to her voice. 

“You sure you’re not just getting us lost-” the teasing quip dies on Azzi’s tongue as she stares at the scenery in front of her. They’re standing on the edge of a bridge overlooking a lake and it looks like something out of a disney fairytale; the picturesque image of green trees silhouetted against a magically starry night is captured perfectly on the still surface of the water that’s flowing beneath. As Azzi peers across the railing, Paige right next to her, she feels her breath hitch at the reflection that peers up at her. Because the view in front of them is beautiful but Paige’s eyes are on Azzi and she’s staring at her as if the view is nothing in comparison. 

“C’mon,” the blonde says softly, lacing her fingers through Azzi’s as she tugs her along, “I have a plan.”

“There’s more?” Azzi asks in awe as Paige guides her to the gazebo in the middle of the bridge. 

“Just a little bit,” Paige says and oh- that shy smile is different. Azzi doesn’t think she’s seen that one yet and she makes a mental note to herself, to memorize it and store it along with all of Paige’s other smiles that make Azzi’s insides swoop like a rollercoaster. 

She watches intently as Paige begins to peruse through the purple rucksack she’d been carrying. The first thing out of it is a picnic blanket and then a horde of different snacks, all of Azzi’s favorites. Two plastic champagne glasses are next and then a sheepish grin as Paige pulls out a bottle of soda. 

“Couldn’t quite risk trying to get alcohol,” Paige scratches at her neck. 

“Next time maybe,” Azzi shrugs as she helps Paige set up the arrangement and she feels herself fluttering at the thought of doing this again and again and again. 

“How’d you even find this place?” she asks as Paige begins to pour out the soda. 

“You ever heard of googling?”

Azzi rolls her eyes at Paige’s teasing smirk, “how’d you even have time to do this?”

Paige is quiet for a second as she passes Azzi her glass, “wanted to do something special for us,” she says quietly, keeping her eyes intently on what she’s doing as she pours out a drink for herself, “wasn’t hard to find time for you.”

“You could be a poet, Paige Bueckers,” Azzi whispers and she knows it’s unfair of her but she thinks it anyway. As long as all your poems are about me. 

“The poets are lucky I chose a ball instead of a pen. They’d be out of a job otherwise,” Paige says, trying to ease back into the more familiar arrogance. 

“Always so humble,” Azzi says, rolling her eyes as she holds up her glass, “alright what are toasting to?”

“I came up with this whole thing. You can come up with a toast,” Paige scrunches her nose and Azzi shakes her head at it. 

She thinks for a second before smiling brightly at the girl in front of her, “let’s just keep it simple and toast to us.”

“How original,” Paige teases but she clinks her glass against Azzi’s anyways, “here’s to us.”

“Here’s to us,” Azzi repeats as they both take sips of soda. 

They melt into a comfortable silence, relishing in this rare moment where there isn’t a screen separating them from each other. Facetimes is a wonderful creation but a blurry screen, Azzi decides, doesn’t nearly do justice to just how damn pretty Paige is. Her hair is golden as it basks in the glow of the moon and Azzi wonders if the stars are jealous of how brilliantly the blonde’s blue eyes twinkle.

It’s Paige who speaks first, her voice hesitant, “you uh- you never asked me how my date went a couple of weeks ago.”

Azzi feels her whole body go rigid. She’d almost forgotten about Paige’s wretched date. The blonde had told her about it a couple of days before the actual event and Azzi had played the dutiful role of a best friend, teasing Paige with a light-heartedness she didn’t feel and congratulating her with an excitement that came from anywhere but from the heart. She’d purposely avoided Paige’s calls the day of the date and then two days after, coming up with some sorry excuse she no longer remembers. On the third day, when the hollow ache of i miss her voice in her chest had become too hard to ignore, Azzi had finally picked up the phone and diverted the conversation straight to a different topic. She hadn’t thought of the date since. 

“Guess it slipped my mind,” she says airily, fingers gripping the edge of the picnic blanket. 

“I could tell you about it now,” Paige says slowly. 

I’d rather you didn’t, Azzi thinks but that’s a thought that veers a little too out of the sphere of best-friend-isms and so she simply nods her head, “y-yeah tell me about it. How was it?”

“It was nice,” Paige begins and there’s something hidden in her tone that Azzi can't quite place but she’s a little too busy sulking at the idea of Paige with anybody else to try and decipher it, “dinner was good. Took her to a movie after. That was good too.”

“That’s cool P. I’m glad- I’m glad you had fun,” Azzi says nonchalantly, gripping the glass in her hands just a little too tight. 

“I didn’t.”

“What?”

“I didn’t really have that much fun,” Paige clarifies and Azzi gawks at her in confusion as the older girl fidgets with the frayed edges of the picnic blankets, “just didn’t- didn’t feel right. Don’t think she had much fun either. She never texted me after.”

“What a bitch,” Azzi bites out, suddenly irrationally angry at a girl she’d never met because how could anyone possibly not have fun with Paige, “I’m sorry P. You deserve-”

“I didn’t care that she didn’t text back-”

“Still. It’s just the decent thing to do,” Azzi rants. 

“Maybe,” Paige shrugs, “but I didn’t have time to care about that. I had other things on my mind. Like the fact that you weren’t talking to me.”

Azzi flinches at the accusation, rushing out her previous defense, “I was busy.”

“Bullshit,” Paige sneers. 

“Paige-”

“But I get it,” the older girl says softly as she reaches for Azzi’s hand, tugging the brunette closer to her and Azzi feels something inside her erupt at how close their faces are, “I probably wouldn’t have talked to you for two days either if you went on a date with someone else.”

“Oh,” Azzi breathes out and there’s probably something more eloquent she should say but there’s this realization of maybe you feel it too that’s beginning to creep up her spine, rendering her speechless as Paige continues to stare at her like she’s mapping out all the tiniest details of Azzi’s face. 

“The whole date, I kept thinking how you wouldn’t order what she ordered off the menu or that you would probably hit my hand if I tried to steal something off your plate but then give it to me anyway. And that the movie would never have been so quiet with you and we’d probably get yelled at for giggling too much and I-” Paige pauses, dragging in a deep breath, “I definitely would’ve kissed you at the end.”

A sigh of relief escapes Azzi’s lips, “you didn’t kiss her.”

“No,” Paige confirms as she drops her forehead against Azzi’s, “but I-,” the blonde gulps nervously and Azzi can’t help the way her hand reaches up to caress the blush forming on Paige’s cheeks. 

“Ask me,” she whispers.

“I really want to kiss you,” Paige confesses, voice shaking slightly, “can I kiss you?”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, choosing to reply instead by pressing her lips softly against Paige’s. They move slowly at first, testing each other’s boundaries and savoring their first taste of each other. Azzi pulls the older girl onto her lap, hands firmly on Paige’s hips as the other girl clasps her own hands around Azzi’s neck.  It’s a little messy and uncoordinated and Azzi thinks they might need to practice a little more to really get it right but still, it’s everything.

And Azzi just knows

She knows it then just the way she knew Tim was meant to be her dad. The way she knew Jon and José were meant to be her brothers. The way she knew she was meant to play basketball. Azzi knows that she’s meant to fall hopelessly in love with Paige Bueckers. 

March 2033

There are three things Azzi should do. 

Push Paige away 

Tell her this a bad idea 

Run the fuck away

She does none of the above.

Instead Azzi kisses Paige back. 

And it’s still everything. Like the sun and moon are colliding and creating something so insanely powerful; something that feels so eternal. 

There’s nothing soft or slow about it as Paige presses every inch of herself into Azzi until she can feel Paige’s heartbeat as strongly as she can feel her own. It might be impossible but she swears their hearts are talking to each other, tapping out rhythms against each other’s chests that confess all the things their owners are too scared to say. And Azzi wants nothing more than to lose herself completely in the moment because Paige’s lips feel like a drug and Azzi thinks she might just be an addict in relapse. 

Except to relapse, you need to have recovered. And Azzi doesn’t think she ever fully recovered from Paige. 

It isn’t until she feels her back hit the edge of a desk and the sound of something crashing onto the floor infiltrates her ears, that Azzi finally comes to her senses. She tears her lips away from Paige as the older woman groans in protest, arms tightening their hold on Azzi’s waist so she can still have some semblance of control over the situation. And really Azzi knows she’s strong enough to escape Paige’s grip, could easily fight it if she wanted to. But well, she doesn’t want to. And Azzi’s tired of doing things she doesn’t want to do. 

“Paige-”

“If the next words out of your mouth are ‘we can’t do this’, Azzi I swear to god I’m going to kill you,” Paige threatens, pressing her forehead against Azzi’s. 

Azzi laughs softly and she can feel Paige’s whole body relax at the sound of it and like clockwork, she feels the tension beginning to release from her own muscles, “if you kill me then we definitely can’t do this.”

“I’ll revive you after or something,” Paige says with a half-smirk. 

“Or something,” Azzi rolls her eyes, “but we can’t-”

“Azzi,” Paige groans. 

“We can’t do this right now and definitely not here,” Azzi amends, alluding to the fact that they’re still in Steph’s office. 

Paige raises an eyebrow, cocking her head slightly, “but we can do this later? Somewhere else?”

The question lingers between them as Azzi bites her lip. She knows what this is, knows that it’s Paige putting the ball in her court. A ‘no’ would likely be the end of things and that scares her more than she’s willing to admit but she’s not quite ready to commit to a ‘yes’ yet, even if that flame of desire inside of her, the one that can only be lit by Paige, is blazing hot through her veins. 

“I don’t know,” Azzi says carefully, shivering at the way Paige’s thumb is rubbing circles against her waist, the flimsy material of her shirt doing nothing to prevent the goosebumps forming on her skin, “TBD.”

“That’s not a no,” Paige says carefully, hope blossoming freely on her face. 

“That’s not a yes either,” Azzi warns half-heartedly. 

“But it’s not a no,” Paige presses. 

“No,” Azzi admits, playing with the neckline of Paige’s shirt, “it’s not a no.”

And Azzi’s so scared of the future, scared that if she lets herself burn, she’ll incinerate everyone around her but there’s something in the way Paige smiles at her words. Something that feels a lot like a promise of i’ll be the rain that washes out the fire before you can turn us to ashes. 

“I can work with that,” Paige says softly, tilting Azzi’s chin up. 

“So desperate to get back into my pants Bueckers,” Azzi teases and she expects a witty remark in return but instead she’s met with nothing but sincerity. 

“So desperate to get back into your life,” Paige whispers, voice cracking on the last two words. 

Tears prickle against Azzi’s waterline as she stares in awe at the girl in front of her. Sometimes she thinks Paige doesn’t even know that there’s a halo of goodness sitting above her head, doesn't even know just how beautiful her soul is. Paige is stunning on the outside; it’s something no one can deny. But it’s nothing compared to how gorgeous she is on the inside, nothing compared to how kind, how humble, how forgiving Paige is. 

“Why?” Azzi asks, her tone rife with heaviness. 

“Why what?” 

“After everything, after all this time, why would you still want to be in my life?” the tears fall harder as Azzi struggles to breathe, “I- I broke your heart. I broke us. How could you possibly want that again. How could you possibly want me again?”

Paige's eyes soften as she cups Azzi’s cheeks, thumbs brushing away at the drops of water running down them, “because you’re Azzi. My Azzi. And I get it- I get that you’re not ready to be all in on this with me yet and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not completely ready either. But we can work on it right? Take it slow and see where it goes and maybe we’ll- maybe we’ll be even better this time.”

“You think so?”

“I believe so.”

Azzi presses her lips delicately against Paige’s, reveling in the way it makes Paige’s breath hitch. She pulls away faster than she would like herself and Paige chases her lips, eyes still closed. 

“What was that for,” the blonde asks, slightly dazed. 

“For being my Paige.”

***

Azzi taps her foot impatiently against her wooden patio as she glances at her phone clock for the umpteenth time. Paige is almost twenty minutes late to pick her and Stephie up to go to dinner at her parent’s house. The invites had technically been separate but Paige had insisted that they needed to go together because Paige didn’t want to walk into the house alone. Azzi’s not sure why Paige is nervous to see her dad and brothers again, not when she’s pretty sure they’re bursting with excitement to see the blonde whose pictures still have a permanent place on the family photo wall, but if Paige wants Azzi by her side, well she’s not going to say no. Not anymore. 

 It’s been a week since they’d agreed to take things slow and Azzi’s still not quite sure what exactly that means, but she thinks she likes it. She likes being able to call Paige and not having to come up with a lame excuse for why. She likes that she and Paige can take Stephie out for ice cream after Curry Camp and they don’t have to pretend they’re only tolerating each other’s presence for the little girl’s sake. She likes that they can brush their pinkies while walking and instead of jolting away, they simply just link them together. There’s boundaries of course. No sleepovers at either of their houses. No doing anything more than kissing. No kissing in front of anyone else and definitely no kissing in front of Stephie. No doing anything in front of Stephie really. And there’s still so much mountain left to climb but as long as they’re pushing up it together, Azzi doesn’t think there’s any incline steep enough to stop her from continuing up this path.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals as Paige’s car rounds the corner into Azzi’s driveway. 

Paige steps out of the car, arms wide open and ready to catch Stephie as the little girl goes tumbling down the front porch, aiming straight for the blonde. Azzi’s not an artist by any means but if she was, she thinks she could paint a thousand pictures of Stephie and her Miss Buecks. It terrifies Azzi a little bit, just how perfectly Stephie fits into Paige’s side but it calms her too because there’s a part of her that’s in love with how much they love each other.

“You’re late Bueckers,” Azzi chides as she follows her daughter’s path down the patio stairs. 

Paige grins, shifting Stephie on her lap as she opens the side door to her car to pull out two bouquets of flowers

“Will these make up for it?” she asks slyly as she hands the larger one, an assortment of pink flowers, to Azzi and a slightly smaller bouquet of purple hydrangeas to Stephie. 

“These are so pretty Miss Buecks,” Stephie gushes before pressing a kiss to Paige’s cheek left cheek and Paige beams at the compliment, “thank you Miss Buecks.”

“You took that long to get flowers?” Azzi asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Mama,” Stephie chides immediately, “you’re supposed to thank someone when they give you a gift.”

“Yeah Azzi,” Paige’s eyes glimmer with mirth, “thank me like Stephie thanked me. Don’t you think Mama owes me a kiss on the cheek Steph?”

Azzi narrows her eyes at the scheming pair in front of her as Stephie nods animatedly at Paige’s question, “yeah Mama you owe Miss Buecks a kiss on the cheek.”

Shaking her head, Azzi walks over to Paige taking deliberately steady steps. Slowly Azzi leans in, puckering her lips. Paige closes her eyes and Azzi winks at Stephie who’s eyes widen. 

“I’m waiting,” Paige sing-songs, a self-satisfied smirk taking over her features. 

And instead of the promised kiss, Azzi licks a sloppy strip down Paige’s cheek and the blonde shrieks as both Azzi and Stephie burst into laughter.

“EW AZZI GROSS,” Paige whines, hurriedly rubbing her shirt against her cheek, “is this what you’re teaching your daughter?”

“I’m teaching my daughter not to let anyone manipulate her,” Azzi says, giving Paige a careful look, “now why were you late?”

Paige grins sheepishly as she opens the door to the backseat of the door. A lavender car seat is placed on the left side of the car and Azzi feels her heart lurch with no one’s ever cared like this. 

“It’s pu-ple,” Stephie claps excitedly, “is it for me?”

“Of course it is,” Paige confirms, booping Stephie’s nose before looking at Azzi, “it’s just- we uh- we always have to take your car cause it has the car seat and moving it between cars is such a hassle. So I just thought- you know- I just thought it’d be cool- useful- practical- if I had one too? And this way if you ever need me to take Stephie off you then I uh- then you don’t have to worry about me driving. I don’t- I don’t really knows much about car seats but I looked it up online before and the person at the store agreed that this is definitely the best one- like I swear it’s safe-”

She’s cut off by the feel of Azzi’s lips pressed to her cheeks. 

“Thank you Paige.”

***

Just as Azzi expected, Paige merges herself back into the Fudd family with the same ease she’d first had when she’d carved out a place for herself almost a decade and a half ago. It’s a little emotional at first when Tim opens the door, a smile almost as big as him decorating his face as he pulls Paige into a hug even before she can say a word. 

“Welcome home kid,” he whispers into her blonde hair and Azzi doesn’t have to see Paige’s face to know that her best friend is blinking away tears. 

Guilt surges in Azzi’s stomach and she tries to swallow away the lump of i took this from her that’s blocking her throat. It had been so simple at 15 to give Paige a part of her world; Azzi hadn’t thought twice about it. And then with the snap of her fingers, she’d taken that world away. She knows her parents had never cut Paige out; hell they’d been at her wedding to some other woman -and Azzi had pushed them to go knowing Paige would need it- but it was a far cry from what they’d been. A far cry from when Paige’s schedule was a key factor while planning Fudd family summers. 

“Hey,” Stephie pouts, tiny hands crossed over her small body “I thought you always gave me the first hug Pops.”

“We’ll make an exception today,” Tim says with a wink before letting Paige walk into Katie’s arms and spinning his granddaughter around, “but you’re always gonna be my favorite.”

“I better be,” Stephie threatens and the adults around her laugh. 

And finally it’s Azzi's turn to be pulled into one of her dad’s patent bear hugs. She goes willingly, always at her most warmest in the arms of the man whose blood might not run through her veins, but whose love had always protected her from the cruelties of the world. 

“You look really happy today sweetheart,” Tim says softly. 

Azzi’s eyes flitter over her father’s shoulder to where Jon and José are embroiling Paige in a group hug with Stephie in the middle of it, screaming about finally having their “white sister” back, as Katie and José’s fiancé Tallulah roll their eyes at the group of them, and she can’t help but smile into her dad’s shirt, “I feel pretty happy today.”

*** 

“You cheated,” Jon yells. 

“Miss Buecks does not cheat,” Stephie yells back loyally. 

“Don’t get into this Stephie. You don’t know her like we do,” José glares at Paige who narrows her eyes at him, “she’s been stealing from the bank.”

“Miss Buecks does not  steal,” Stephie defends again, wrapping her arms around Paige’s neck from behind as the blonde presses a quick kiss against Stephie’s temple. 

“It’s okay Stephie,” Paige reassures, gently swinging the little girl into her lap, “some people are just sore losers.”

“Can’t be a sore loser because I didn’t lose-” José coughs and Jon corrects himself immediately, “because we didn’t lose.”

“Y’all let it go,” Tallulah groans, leaning her head back against the sofa, “it’s literally just monopoly. Please, I'm so tired.”

“Just monopoly? JUST MONOPOLY?” José guffaws dramatically, “I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who doesn’t understand that it isn’t just monopoly Tallulah. It’s about liars and cheats and honor-”

“Miss Buecks has plenty of honor,” Stephie says stubbornly, leaning her head back against Paige’s chest.

Jon rounds on Azzi, who’s been silently watching the situation, “did you help her cheat?”

“Excuse me?” Azzi asks, glaring at her brother from where she’s been comfortable reclining on the sofa. She’d opted to be the banker instead of playing, content just handing out money to the rest of them while watching the game unfold. But really she hadn’t been paying much attention to anyone else but her daughter and Paige. Stephie didn’t quite understand the rules yet and so she was always on someone’s team. It had been a given tonight, that of course she would be with Paige. And Azzi had watched, trying not to be too obvious, with a foolish grin on her face, as her two favorite people whispered to each other, Paige listening intently to all of Stephie’s ideas whether they were good or bad. 

“Oh good point,” José turns to look at Azzi too, “you’re the banker, did you help Paige cheat?”

“Mama would never cheat,” Stephie argues defiantly as Azzi pushes herself up from the sofa to send a menacing look to both of her brothers. 

“I’m not going to dignify that accusation with a justification,” Azzi says, standing so she’s towering over her two brothers who are still sitting on the floor, “now clean up the game. It’s almost Stephie’s bedtime.”

 They might be well into their twenties and José might be taller than her now, but they’re still not quite  immune to Azzi’s wrath. Tallulah and Paige snicker as the two men, sulking at each other, obey their older sister's command without another word. 

“You’ve gotta teach me how you do that,” Tallulah says, hi-fiving Azzi who smirks in response. 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, “what does dig-ni-fy mean?”

“Mean she’s not gonna entertain your uncles being dumba-”

“Paige!”

“Being dumbapples,” Paige corrects and both Azzi and Stephie give her an odd look at her ridiculous attempt at saving the bad word from leaving her lips. 

“Alright Stephie-bean,” Azzi says, pulling her daughter off of Paige’s lap, “it’s late enough. Off to brush your teeth you go.”

Stephie looks hesitantly between the staircase leading up to the guest bedroom -where she and Azzi normally stayed- and Paige. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay with us tonight?” she asks softly, one hand bunching in Paige’s shirt as she stares up at her mother with large doe eyes, “please Mama.”

“Stephie I don’t think-” Paige begins, ready to stick to the boundaries they’d laid out for themselves and really Azzi should let her; should follow her lead really.  

Except the words are tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop them, “yeah she can- she can stay.”

“YAYY,” Stephie squeals, jumping into Azzi’s arms as Paige stares up at her in surprise, “thank you, thank you, thank you Mama. I’m so happy,” she swings from Azzi to Tallulah, “aunty Tully did you hear? Miss Buecks is gonna stay with us and you can make her your famous pancakes in the morning.”

“I can, can I?” Tallulah asks with a raised eyebrow as she lets Stephie and her excited chatter lead her towards the bathroom. With Jon and José both having already started towards their own rooms and Azzi’s parents fast asleep, it leaves just Paige and Azzi in the living room. 

“You’re okay with me staying?” Paige asks softly, finally lifting herself from the floor and onto her feet. 

Azzi scratches the back of her neck, “if- if you want to. You don’t have to. I can- I’ll explain to Stephie-”

“I want to,” Paige says, taking a cautious step towards Azzi, “but the rules?”

“This doesn’t count,” Azzi justifies and Paige smirks, taking another step towards the brunette. 

“It doesn’t?”

“We said no sleeping over at each other’s places. This is my parent’s house. So technically it doesn’t count,” Azzi shrugs, trying to keep her face from breaking into a grin as Paige moves one more step closer. 

“And where exactly am I sleeping?” Paige asks with a knowing grin as she loops an arm around Azzi’s waist, briefly checking to make sure no one’s around. 

Azzi tilts her head, letting the grin break through, “I think Stephie would like it if you slept with us.”

“Ah well if that’s what Stephie would like,” Paige says, nodding commiseratingly. 

“For Stephie’s sake,” Azzi repeats as she wraps her arm around Paige’s neck, pressing her forehead against the older girl’s and letting herself just breathe in the peace that comes with being all consumed by Paige. 

“Azzi,” Paige’s voice is laced with uncharacteristic vulnerability as she speaks again, “you won’t- you won’t run away again tomorrow morning will you?”

“No,” Azzi promises, gently brushing her lips against Paige’s, “I won’t run away again.”

[unintentionalseductress]

Hi! I had a request if it's okay and I thought I'd send it to your inbox like you asked me to :))

The vision I kinda had for it was ultimately inspired by the fanart and now that I actually think about it, perhaps it's something like rafayel's an outlaw and she's the future queen or sm and they're having a secret affair and ultimately they're caught one day and so her father's furious cs like as you said in the Nanami one, she's supposed to be absolutely pure until marriage so when she's caught with Rafayel doing the dirty, it's absolutely js like 😨😡🤯 for her father, I didn't know how else to explain it srry 😭😭 but yh and so now her father's in a rush to marry her off without further embarrassment but then her and rafayel elope but they go through the deserts, like in the fanart, so nobody can chase after them and uh yh 😭 the only smut I envisioned would be at the beginning of it cs personally, I can't see them doing it in a hot and sandy desert 😖 so uh yh

But tyyy 🫶🫶🫶

-📚

Promised Sands

Warnings: MDNI, sex, angst, mentions of death and violence, reader experiences depression and thoughts of taking her own life briefly A/n: Book anon and I had a chat about this fic, and after getting more details, she said she wanted it loosely based off the Aladdin AU I wrote for Nanami . I am still writing the Zayne and Dawnbreaker fic but inspiration somehow found me and this ended up being written quite quickly. And this is only my second oneshot for Rafayel, like WHAT?! I don't write enough for him.

You sit miserably on your bed, staring out of the barred window at the silhouette of the city in the distance. The bars were a recent addition, placed to discourage you from trying to pull a Houdini a few days before your wedding. 

Your future in-laws were already at the palace, no doubt being shown the lavish grounds and amenities they could expect once their son officially became your husband. The thought made you sick to your stomach because you neither asked nor wanted this wedding. The setting sun cast long shadows across the palace grounds and painted the sky various shades of gold, tangerine, and magenta, and your mind couldn’t help but wander to last week, when you had been unburdened by the prospects of marriage and your heart had been full of love. 

You supposed you should have known better, but how was one expected to resist the natural pull of desires coming alive when your loved one was near? The longing of wanting to be tucked into their embrace, of feeling their lips on yours, and the press of your skin coming together as passions overflowed, the magic of it all glowing like embers from a fire, rising and disappearing into the air.

No one had suspected the Lemurian initially. It was well-known he was a gift to you, and that due to their unwavering loyalty bond, he would never be able to take advantage of you. But what the royal family hadn’t anticipated was that you would consent to being taken advantage of by the Lemurian.

Rafayel had been your steadfast companion for years, since you were a child and he had been presented to you on your birthday. And although you had given his freedom, he returned to visit regularly, bringing back gifts each time; bangles for your wrists, fancy hair ornaments, and little glass figurines that littered the small tables all around your room. No one had suspected that as both of you grew older, that you’d develop feelings for each other that went beyond master and servant. No one thought the princess with the blessed heart would choose him, someone that they had considered less than human, unfit to be your romantic companion in their eyes. But how wrong they had been, and when the king had discovered the extent of your affair, his wrath was terrifying. 

When Rafayel had been discovered in your bedchamber fully clothed, while you lay naked on the bed with nothing more than a bedsheet wrapped around you, the king had demanded his life as retribution. You had screamed, begged and pleaded, and the memory of the king’s look of disgust was burned in your mind as you kneeled at his feet, clutching the bedsheet like it was armor. It had taken 4 men to restrain Rafayel, and as they dragged him away, you could still hear his grunts of pain as the guards had kicked and punched him as they took him away to the jail underneath the palace. 

It had been a week since then, and you had trailed pathetically behind the king ever since, until he had coldly informed you that Rafayel had been beaten to death. There was no remorse in his tone, not even a slight offer of comfort. In the same deadpan voice, the king had informed you that your marriage to the prince of a neighboring kingdom had been arranged, and that no one needed to know you had been “ruined” before your wedding night.

Shortly after, he had hired some servants to put bars on all the windows in your bedchamber, and security constantly patrolled the wing where your living quarters were. It wasn’t necessary; you had lost the will to fight after learning about Rafayel’s demise. 

You cried, feeling like your heart was breaking into pieces, bleeding, yet cruelly refusing to stop beating. Why couldn’t it halt, just give out and end it all? You’d considered taking your own life, yet each time you eyed the small dagger that you’d hidden under your mattress, an overwhelming bond held you in place; perhaps your self-preservation instincts were too strong. And thus, you fell into a trance, a state of being on autopilot. Dutifully, you had presented yourself to the prince, had allowed your handmaidens to preen and fuss over you, dressing you in fine silks, painting your lips the reddest of reds and patting rouge onto your cheeks to give you the look of a blushing bride besotted with her betrothed.

Internally, you were screaming, but your body felt too exhausted to muster the energy to match the rage boiling inside you. You had looked in the mirror, not recognizing the reflection that stared back at you. There were bags under your eyes, a grief-stricken droop in your posture, yet all your ladies in waiting tittered on about how beautiful you looked, and that once you were married you’d have more dresses than your wardrobe could accommodate. You felt ashamed. If any other person had been as close to you as Rafayel had, you’d be wearing the standard black gown that signified mourning. It felt like a smear on Rafayel’s memory that you were lamenting his loss so keenly, yet unable to show it in your attire. 

Now with two days left to your wedding, you had resigned to your fate. Dusk had fallen, yet you can hear the cacophony of voices from the balcony. A pre-weddng celebration. Delicious smells wafted into your bedchamber, accompanied by the sounds of laughter and music. Everyone was celebrating your upcoming nuptials except you. Your handmaiden had attempted to get you dressed for the evening but you had been so uncooperative and listless that she’d given up, settling for the reassurance that at least you weren’t trying to escape anymore. 

Suddenly, your stomach roiled, feelings of deep disgust welling up inside you and bubbling out like molten lava. You slammed all the windows shut, making no effort to hide your disdain for the sham of a welcoming party the king had put together for your supposed fiancé. You locked the door and began to tear apart everything in the room. You knocked over lamps unflinchingly as the delicate glass shattered onto the floor. You threw the fairytale books from their shelves, ripping out pages from some of them, tearing the pretty illustrations depicting princes and princesses getting their happy ending. You dipped your calligraphy brushes into various pots of ink and dragged them along the walls, haphazardly stroking chaotic lines of color into the walls. And you screamed all the while this happened. Tears flowed unrestrainedly down your cheeks. If they refused to let you honor him quietly in black, then you’d do it loudly, in the most violent shades you could find. 

This was your grief. It was not theirs to control, and you felt the dam of emotions you had been holding back come flooding through. You allowed yourself to remember everything; nights spent on the balcony whispering your fears and secrets to him, using little henna cones to trace patterns onto his hands, and letting him do the same for you, marveling at how much bigger they were than yours, with those long, slender fingers. You remembered the softness of his hair and how the wind messed up his bangs and how his eyes turned into the most breathtaking shade of lilac as the sun caught them. The way his eyelashes rested like fans on his cheeks while he was sleeping, and the gentleness of his lips as he kissed you. 

You didn’t care about the purity laws. You had done nothing impure, nothing worthy of the scorn the king had been giving you the past few days. What was revolting was the way everyone else was behaving, acting nonchalant like your childhood companion hadn’t been beaten to death within the very walls of this palace you had called home. So you kicked, your voice calling out his name like a wild animal, holding yourself to prevent your being from falling apart at the seams, your fingernails leaving little bloody marks in your sides as you did so. 

When the rage finally quieted down, the room was in shambles. It brought you a great sense of satisfaction, your throat raw from your lamenting. Exhausted, you collapsed on the bed, and the anguish turned quiet. You could feel it still crawling under your skin but the cathartic destruction of your bedchamber had dulled it. 

You knew you’d never love the man who was to be your husband. How were you to sleep with this man? This person who hadn’t even questioned the circumstances under which this marriage had been proposed? 

Shivering from the adrenaline withdrawal, you bury your face into your pillow, desperately recalling all the times Rafayel had made love to you. Your hands start to wander, softly touching yourself, cupping your breasts, and sighing as your fingers wandered to the space between your legs.

Rafayel’s lips were cool against the heat of your bare skin. You were blushing from your lack of experience. There’s a playful mischievousness in his eyes as he trailed kisses down the column of your neck, coming to the valley between your breasts.

“Is your highness pleased?” He had teased, looking up at you slyly, enjoying the way your cheeks turned pink. You had averted your gaze, trying not to make it obvious how much he was affecting you, which had only amused him. 

“It pleases me when you’re pleased, ya know?” His mouth had closed over a pert nipple, suckling with the perfect pressure that had made you whimper needily, feeling moisture gathering in your core. Heat gathered in your belly and your toes kept curling into the sheets as he pleasured you. 

When you dared to look at him again, his eyes glittered with dark desire. 

“Tell me my lady,” he had whispered as he’d pushed your knees apart to settle in between them. “Are you in need of my services? All you need to do is ask.”

Your breath had caught in your throat as his fingers gently spread your wet lips apart, revealing the little engorged bud in between them. Rafayel’s tongue gave it a wet lick and your back had arched in pleasure, a wanton noise escaping you. You had waited for him to continue but when you felt nothing, your eyes cracked open for a second only to see him gazing intently at you.

“I await your command my princess,” he had said patiently even though desire was eating away at him. 

“Rafayel, please,” you had gasped. “I’m yours.” 

Relief had flooded your system as his tongue found purchase between your folds, his spit gathering onto the swollen membranes as he tasted you. Your body felt like it was in heaven, becoming lighter and alive under his ministrations. The room had filled with the lewd, moist noises of his tongue lapping away at your slick folds, sucking your clit with care until your mind was a mess of hot need. You had struggled to reach the peak, almost losing concentration until Rafayel’s hand had reassuringly held yours and your fingers had interlaced with his.

The thoughtful gesture had been the thing needed for you to find the courage to tip into the abyss of desire where all that existed was him and the desires of your own body. You felt all the senses leave you as you orgasmed, your clit spasming in ecstasy as your hole fluttered in urgent need. Your thighs trembled and you moaned his name as he licked through the aftershocks. 

After every last drop of your pleasure had been drawn, he’d held you against him, helping you come down from the intensity of the high. You could feel his erection pressing hotly against your thigh, barely contained by the thin fabric of his underwear. Boldly, your hand had slipped into it, grasping his length and stroking, drawing a hiss from him. 

“Impatient princess?” he had asked with a lilt, trying to fluster you again, but his teeth were gritted at how good your small hand felt on his cock. He’d guided you, showing you how to hold him, how much pressure he liked, and once you’d mastered the movements, he’d allowed himself a brief moment of indulgence, surprising you when he stilled your hand.

“I won’t last long if you keep this up.” His hand brushed your cheek and he’d kissed you before rolling you under him. 

“I promise this won’t hurt too much.”

Your body tensed when you felt his thick, rounded head probe your entrance, carefully notching into the tight space.

“Don’t worry.” Rafayel snuggled your body close to his, peppering your face with little kisses. “I’ve got you. Just keep breathing. Nice and deep.” His hands cushioned behind the back of your head and you trained your eye to focus on the fine ring of inky black that surrounded his mesmerizing irises. Your body stretched around him, the tightness almost unbearably painful, and Rafayel had paused several times to let you adjust, gently sheathing himself inch by inch, kissing away your tears. He’d stilled when he had finally bottomed out, and you realized your body no longer felt like it was being split apart. You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in, and everything inside you changed.

Rafayel gave a testing roll of his hips and when you clung to him moaning, he’d picked up the pace, thrusting into you, merging your bodies into one. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist and you held on tight as he pushed into new realms of discovery. 

You withdraw your sticky fingers from your cunt, skin slick with sweat, glowing with the effort of giving yourself that orgasm. They could marry you off, tell the world whatever they wanted, but they couldn’t take away what Rafayel had shown you. You would play the obedient, meek, little princess for now. But someday, you didn’t know when, you would leave. You would find a way to escape from this gilded cage, and never look back. 

This newly found resolve calms you, and you manage to fall into a fatigued sleep. 

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

There’s a tapping noise on the glass of your window, and you awaken abruptly, eyes blinking to adjust the darkness of the night. You find your heartbeat quickening as you spy a shadowy figure lurking outside the glass. Who had managed to get up there? You glance around your room for a weapon, then freeze when an achingly familiar voice calls, muffled through the closed window.

“Open up!”

You blink, looking wildly at the blurred stranger. It couldn’t be. He was dead. You scramble to your feet, trying to calm your frazzled nerves. 

A ghost? Had he come to say goodbye? 

With a trembling hand, you reach out to undo the lock, not daring to breathe as a tall man dressed in black leather pulls out a strange looking tool, cutting the iron bars in one go before swiftly entering your room. 

“Rafayel?” Your voice is unsteady. You can tell he’s injured. His wrist had been splinted and his beautiful face bore bruises. 

“Yeah, who else did you think it was?”

“They told me you were dead!” The words were a broken whisper.

“What, did you think I’m that easy to kill?” Rafayel tries to smile but his lips bear a half-healed cut and he winces as he does so. “Princess, I could never die so easily. Didn’t I promise that I’d get you out of here someday?”

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. Needing confirmation that he was indeed whole and human, you cup his uninjured cheek with an unsteady hand, feeling the heat of his skin, and the soft expulsion of air as it left his nostrils. Rafayel’s eyes soften, and he pulls you into a tight hug, reassuringly patting your hair. 

“I’m here my love.” He presses a kiss to your hair. “But we have to move. Quickly. My comrades said they’d keep watch, but it won’t be long until they give the signal. We need to leave as soon as they do so.” 

He looks around the room, inspecting the havoc. “What happened here?” 

You manage a watery smile, dashing away a tear. “A funeral.” 

No sooner had you said the word than a sudden flash of light burst into the sky. Peering outside the window, you see it ascend into the sky, before exploding like a firecracker, the lights arranging themselves to form a fishtail. Screams erupted from the palace grounds which had otherwise been peaceful.

“We’re under attack! Call the guards!” Voices echoed from the din, panic setting in amongst the citizens. 

“That’s our cue.” Rafayel looks at you and there’s a hint of uncertainty in them. “Unless you’d rather stay?”

“Never.” You quickly tiptoe to plant a kiss on Rafayel’s lips. He’s startled for a brief moment, then breaks into a wide grin. 

“Time to go my beautiful bride.” 

He takes your hand and helps you out onto the narrow ledge of the window. It was pitch black outside, the fishtail signal’s brightness engulfing all the stars glimmering in the background. 

“We jump.” He holds your hand firmly. “One, two, three!”

You wisely hold in your scream as you leap off the edge with cold nothing underneath your feet, plummeting a few feet before you suddenly bob up into the air. Looking down, you realize you’re standing on something soft and fluid. A flapping noise can be heard as whatever it is rises into the clouds and whisks you away from the palace. Night air wipes your hair as Rafayel holds you tightly to his side. 

Once you begin to sail through an unbroken patch of moonlight, you glance down to see your vehicle was a giant manta ray, its flat, pancake-like membranes lazily undulating in the sky as it carried you into unknown lands. 

Rafayel helps you sit on the massive creature’s back and joins you, protectively pulling you against him to shield you from the wind. You glance up at him. 

“So you heard about the wedding then.” You probe and Rafayel nods, but you notice a flicker of rage in his eyes when you brought it up. Hastily, you add, “I’m sorry. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it. I only asked because you called me a ‘beautiful bride’.”

He turns to look at you, lowering his hood as he does so. “If I recall, I called you my beautiful bride.” The intensity of his gaze makes you blush and you quickly avert your eyes to the starry sky. 

“What do you mean?” you ask shyly, then your breath catches in your throat as Rafayel digs into an inner pocket of his garb and pulls out a ring of gold, with a large sapphire set in the middle. 

“My beautiful bride,” he repeats, and wordlessly slips the ring onto your finger. You look at it with tears in your eyes, then sniff as you’re pulled into his loving embrace. It was almost presumptuous of him not to ask, but wholly unnecessary in your opinion. You didn’t want to be anyone else’s but his. 

Very little was said for the rest of the journey, but words weren’t needed. You knew there would be plenty to talk about once you got off this ride, once you were presented to Rafayel’s entourage, wherever they were. Instead you settled for the knowledge that he was alive, and that you were free from the expectations of the palace. 

It was uncertain how much time had passed, but the manta ray began to descend, the air growing warmer as it got lower to the ground, casting a long shadow as it did so. You look around and sense the dry quality of the air, seeing the sand dunes that were everywhere and realize you were in the middle of the desert. The area was still and quiet as your ride landed with a soft thump on the sand. You and Rafayel disembark, and the creature vanishes into thin air. 

“Where-?”

“Back to the sea. A god never forces a creature of the deep to remain on land for too long.” 

You glance around and squint, seeing silhouettes in the distance that seem to be heading your way. 

“That’s our party. Right on time.” Rafayel offers his hand to you, smiling.

“Let’s go say hi. I want to properly introduce them to the future queen of Lemuria.”

Your heart swells with affection, remembering all the times you’d talked about marrying him, about being completely his for all of time. Holding onto his entwined fingers, you take your first step into a life of beautiful freedom. 

© unintentionalseductress original work | no copying, plagiarizing or translating

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[deesea-ao3]

I've finally realised why I fundamentally disliked the New 52 version of Shazam/Captain Marvel.

I've had nitpicks about it before, but I always chalked it up to my personal preferences, and not anything inherently wrong with the retcon. It just wasn't my thing.

However, I could never shake the feeling that there was some deeper flaw to it than a mere difference in taste. New 52 Billy is a very different character to his older versions, but the core of his backstory (homeless orphan, history of abuse, extreme independence) was arguably retained, just in a new modern rendition. So why did I feel like the new 52 had lost something important?

Then it hit me.

Any version of Billy Batson would, realistically, never let himself have parents again.

Now that is not to say they don't have merit, I can see the vision with them. A perfectly normal, loving, and safe parental unit to contrast the insanity of Billy's life and give him that sweet hurt/comfort goodness. In the end, though, I could never get used to them. Even with all of Billy's changes in the new 52, it always felt deeply ooc whenever he would respect their authority or consider their comfort more important than his responsibilities. In fact, the new 52 version of him is even more distrusting of adults than the golden/silver age version, so Billy compromising his independent personality (especially after he gets his powers) feels like a huge contradiction to both his original and retconned selves. The Vasquez's aren't developed enough characters to make such a huge narrative trade off satisfying. This weird "distrusts authority figures + is proficiently independent yet let's them dictate his responsibilities and make choices on his behalf" characterisation extends beyond the Vasquez's and into Billy's professional relationships with the League. I love reading things where the trinity try and parent Billy, but the fun of it is how he never let's them in the end. Billy's been treated like an equal long enough for him to have seen his colleagues true selves, there is no chance in hell he'd let Superman dad lecture him when he's seen the man at his worst before.

While I never enjoyed the new 52 "Shazamily" brand, I could tolerate it. I never found any of Billy's siblings aside from Mary and Freddy compelling for various reasons, but Darla, Pedro, and Eugene were alright as far as superfluous characters went. What I really never liked were the Vasquez parents, Rosa, and Victor.

What I love about Billy Batson as a character is how inherently tragic he is, but in more subtle ways. Billy was orphaned/abandoned which is sad in and of itself, but the real meat and potatoes is what came after. Billy's been failed by everyone in life, but will not give up faith in people irregardless. He is the world's most competent 12 year old, with wisdom beyond his years and hard won skills that helped him survive on his own. All of this is what made him worthy of the lightning, what made him different and less likely to misuse such power.

Billy Batson in any era of DC always starts out as one of the weakest members of society. His misfortune always stems from the selfishness of others, who's proclivity to abuse their privileges make the boy intimately acquainted with the worst mankind has to offer. He has been robbed at every turn of good choices, and left with the hard ones instead. Education or food? Entertainment or work? How far is he willing to go for survival? If he lies, cheats and steals will he still want to survive by the end? if it means losing who he wishes to be?

If I were in his circumstances, I would be insulted by any attempts to parent me. Acknowledging that I deserved better wouldn't negate a childhoods worth of untrustworthy adults. By that point I'd be so used to living on my own that any well-meaning adults attempt to "lessen my burden" would certainly chafe. God forbid anybody try discipline me in the hopes of providing structure. I would never respect them again. Put the fucking mantle of Champion of Magic on all that, with an ancient wizards seal of approval, and I'd be out of any foster home faster than you could blink.

Why the hell does Billy stay in a house with a bedtime, and lectures, and restrictions on his ability to choose if he can transform into an invulnerable demi-god who can teleport into a safe, warm pocket dimension? Why doesn't he sell off some old junk from the rock, impersonate an adult, get a cheap apartment and load it up with magic wards and runes and just live there? This kid is divinely sanctioned as worthy of responsibility, why the fuck would he listen to life advice from two adults he barely knows? Billy can still be humble about his power while also having a spine about it.

Billy can have as many siblings as he wants, even if I don't find them all that interesting, but I don't think he would ever want parents again. Not if it meant losing the security that comes with full self-determination. He deserves to have had parents, but the tragedy of Billy Batson is that he can't. He has power unimaginable, is a beloved public figure and successful superhero, all these things that only existed in dreams before, but he doesn't have parents, arguably the one thing universally all children should get to have.

[justakiro]

WHO THE HELL IS DAVE?

୨୧ — ꒰TWISTED WONDERLAND X READER

୨୧ — ꒰in which the boys who have fell head over heals for you, but you mention another name when having a romantic moment with them. Leading to many misunderstandings

Ft. Ace, malleus, idia

A/N: I most likely was on steroids the whole time I wrote this. Anyways reblogs and likes are appreciated.

THE TWO OF YOU - had just finished classes and planned to bond with each other, for you and him did not have any other plans. Unbeknownst to you, he had already planned this out. He planned to get closer to you using the time and utilize it as an opportunity to ask you out.

Ace

You and ace were chilling inside your dorm, chatting casually and exchanging light jokes with each other. He fidgeted with his hands, patiently waiting just for the right moment to take the hit and ask you out right on the spot.

"You have something in your mind?" you questioned him, the look on his face gave away everything. It was now or never!

"Yeah actually-.. Do..you mind if we could hang out after school? Maybe play some arcade" Ace took a glance at you while he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, seeing how you nod your head, he suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline through his veins

"I'd love to Dave"

Well damn.

-Word's couldn't express how his excitement went from 0-100

He thought you were just playing with him till he heard you apologize, saying Dave was a friend you used to hang out with alot.

He brushed it off of course, acting cool and smug at the outside. But in the inside he was basically dying

He didn't want to accept it, but he was beginning to think this Dave person was someone very close to you. So close it made him shudder for it was so unbearable.

You two still went out together after of course.. But the look on his face made it seem like the light had sucked out every single soul in him.

Asked cater to find this Dave person even though there was probably a million of them.

It wasn't long though before his jealousy turned into determination.

Oh so what, this Dave was close to you? Pfft, that was all in the past. HE was gonna be the closest to you now, not him.

Idia

You and idia always hang out with each other after classes but today was different! Since idia himself invited you to his dorm to play games, give each other tips and tricks on the games you both shared a common interest in.

But little did you know this was the final step into finally asking you out! (staying in his dorm more)

See idia wasn't an oblivious person when he started to develop feelings for you.. He was just thinking about how you deserved someone better. But to be honest if he DID see you with someone else he'd immediately feel jealous.

So it was now or never!! He mentally prepared himself for 3 weeks for this moment! Also Ortho was hiding somewhere with a earmic to help Idia steal your heart!

Both of you were just in his room playing games like usual, Your eyes were fixated on the screen though, the only sounds being the keyboard tapping and how focused you are in defeating this boss once and for all.

And when Idia caught a glimpse of the word's 'You Died' pop up, he knew it was go time. Ortho rooted for him... And probably was the only one rooting.

With a final deep breath he tapped your shoulder with his finger that was shaking immensely "I-Uhm, (Name)... Since you're still you know getting wrecked by this boss... W-Wana h-hang out more in my dorm?...." Idia just continued to shrink more and more as he continued to talk, don't blame him though this was his very first time asking anybody out.

With a joyful smile you nodded your head at him "Mm! Sure Dave" you immediately covered your mouth accidentally saying the name of your friend back at earth.

You swear you saw Idias soul start descending to hell with his face flushing in embarrassment while you tried to comfort and apologize to him that it was a mistake.

-Idia you sad sad man...

His mannerisms show how he wanted to dig himself a hole and never return on the surface ever again

3 weeks of mentally preparing himself and he got called another person...

When you left his dorm thinking he needed some time, Idia immediately wailed on the floor using his hoodie to cover himself further

Ortho emerged and comforted him, already trying to track down who this Dave person was.

A tiger is strong but not as strong as Idias mood swings. At first he was depressed over the fact that his crush called him someone else but then got frustrated.

Does this mean Dave frequently plays games with you? Bring him to the ring and Idia will show them how much of a pro gamer he is

He programs a virtual person of Dave inside a game and just spam kills them over and over again to make his frustration subside.

Happy ending though since both of you still played games and you finally defeated the boss.

Malleus

Malleus had always been a gentleman to you the moment his eyes spotted you at the ramshakle, he often showed a softer and sweeter side towards you and nothing like what people imagine him as a cold and mercy less dragon.

He didn't try hiding his feelings either;holding hands, playing with your hair, gifting you things he thought would suit you, all of that kinds of things.

So expect that one day he would abruptly climb your window and ask you if you'd like to be his partner.

Now listen, imagine at 2 in the morning you wake up to the presence of green eyes staring at your soul politely saying to be his partner.

So you took the most reasonable answers, you were either high or still dreaming.

"O-Okay Dave" you accidentally spurted out the name of your closet friend back in your childhood.

Malleus was full on ready to get on one knee until you suddenly said 'Okay Dave?'

Who is this person named Dave? A friend? A significant other? Friends with benefits? Whatever it is Malleus felt something awful inside his stomach

Went to Lilia to ask him for dating advice and told him to 'climb up a window and propose your love to them right away' !

Is this Dave person trying to steal you from him? He doesn't like sharing you know.

You swore a bright flash of thunder strook and hitted a tree nearby making you almost jump outta bed.

You calmed the pissed dragon off though saying it was a mistake, coming up with an excuse that Dave was a made up.

This made Malleus slightly calm down and not strike everything down on his way.

You saved a life of a unfortunate Dave...

But Malleus still got on one knee and proposed to you, but you said you still weren't in the age of marriage yet making Malleus understand your reasoning, he'll just wait patiently for the right moment again.

[inzuinzudesu]

Please zoom in to see small Kakashi! 😭 He kinda disappeared 😭😭😭

Text translation: "Infinite Tsukuyomi" (無限月読)

Drew these in mid-July - when I started doing digital again actually 🤔

Took inspo from the Balut - a street food in my country; I hear a lot of people are grossed out by it?? Don't know if this is controversial, but I personally love the dish. Essentially grew up with it after all!

Wanted to draw something that feels a bit creepy but still has a sense of mysticality to it???

Meh, don't know if the feeling got across or not

I thought since Halloween is coming up, might as well post this haha

About the process of drawing these!

These were very fun to draw! I messed around a lot with photoshop to achieve this glowy dusty effect?? From the brushes to the blending options, and maaan the filter gallery 😭😭 Such fun tools to play with.

The main brush I used to achieve the dusty effect is called "KYLE Bonus Chunky Charcoal", in the Kyle Dry Media brush set. If you can, I recommend checking it out! There are definitely other ways to achieve this sort of effect, though. You can probably just use some sort of scatter texture brush and it'd work just fine. Studying is all about trying things out, right? This is like my first experiment with this type of effect, and I was happy at the time. Now looking back, these could most definitely turn out better, no? I really went overboard with just the effect and forgot everything else. The blood and the plate looks horrible man. If you look closely, you can see the sketch lines haha! I got lazy!

Also, for Obito's pose, I relied heavily on a reference I found on pinterest 😭 I wish I'd changed the pose more tbh, it looks really boring.

And I gotta say, these just look underwhelming in this smaller size. Like reaaaaaally underwhelming. Would love to show you the big version, but oh well! 😭😭😭

Brain vomit time!

I love the prospect (??? is that the right word) of Obito being all god-like and powerful after Tsukuyomi, having control over everybody's dream worlds?? And like he jumps from dream to dream, but stops at Kakashi's and picks it apart???? Observing and tormenting Kakashi with his childhood form that has both sharingan???????

Kakashi would probably be confused with Obito's appearance at first, asking questions like "What are you up to this time, Obito?", but then wouldn't receive any answers??? Like little man would just stare at him creepily, and Kakashi would push this to the back of his mind for a while???

Umm below is the technical stuff, I guess??

My headcanon is that the time span in the dream world is the same as the real world. Meaning, 30 years in the dream world feel incredibly real, with no gap of memories. It's essentially a different timeline. Whether this makes sense or not, who knows haha!

Let's talk about the dream events and how they affect Kakashi! Due to Sakumo and team Minato still living, this Kakashi probably wouldn't be as lax nor sad as in canon?? The relationships and personalities would be different huh???? I'm having a headache thinking about this, so let's just say that: 1. Sakumo lived because the villagers weren't as harsh, but the animosity still remained. Kakashi still developed this obsession with rules, but he doesn't blame his dad as much. 2. Kannabi happened, Kakashi was given the sharingan, along with Obito's ninja way. Team Minato thought that Obito died for a while, but Obito is 'rescued' by Madara, same as canon. 3. Rin would still be targeted by Madara, but Obito came in time to help with the situation, blocking Kakashi's chidori from connecting with Rin's chest, but also knocking Kakashi away. Then, a Mist enemy took advantage of the situation to attack Kakashi, injuring him gravely, to the point where everybody thought he died. With this, Obito activated his Mangekyou and exploded on the Mist enemies, killing them all. Meanwhile, Rin tried to heal Kakashi, just barely saving him. As Obito had dealt with the enemies, there was no need to rush back to the village, and the Sanbi wouldn't be released till then. And so, they waited for Minato to come and help with Rin's seal. (About Obito's Mangekyou activating with Kakashi's death - would that be too far-fetched? My reasoning is that Obito would think that it was his fault Kakashi died, because it was Obito who knocked Kakashi away into the enemy, no?) 4. Because there's no one to become 'Madara' now that Obito came back to the village, Naruto is born, Minato and Kushina live.

5. The Uchiha massacre doesn't happen.

(Everything is incredibly convenient, because I don't have the brain power to make it otherwise, please help 😭😭) -> In conclusion, this Kakashi resembles the Kakashi of the real world, but less depressed and self-destructive??? He loves his living comrades. My man still has a massive obsession (more like crush lol) with Obito by the way, just like in canon. He just doesn't show it.

-> About Obito of the dream world (I'mma call him Dreambito), he is all sunshine and brightness, but he exhibits some dark thoughts and deep rage from time to time due to the residual effects of Madara's seal on his heart. The seal has been removed though. And he has this obsession with Kakashi's safety, as he almost pushed him to his death once, albeit accidentally.

-> I was debating whether to just start this dream world at the point where Obito got crushed, or to start it at the beginning of Kakashi's life. In the end, I went with the latter, cuz ya know, I like the idea of Kakashi living through a whole life all over again, just to finally come to the realization that it's all a dream. Does that make any sense at all??

Obito (child form - 13) first appears in front of Kakashi at the start of the Naruto series, when Kakashi has officially become the teacher of team 7. (Let's not change this okay, my brain would fry haha I'm not gonna deny that the idea of Obito and Kakashi becoming co-teachers of team 7 isn't incredibly fun though)

After the first encounter with this child Obito, Kakashi begins to have flashes of memories from the real world, and he hallucinates about people's deaths - mostly about the members of team Minato. This young Obito is always in the corner of his vision, most of the time silent, sometimes saying things like "You trash" to Kakashi whenever he encounters Rin, who is whole and grown up in this world.

Kakashi exhibits more destructive behaviors as this goes on, the line between the dream events and the real events slowly blurring. He takes more dangerous solo missions out of the village, and shows strong signs of PTSD, just like in canon.

The two Obitos would contrast each other?? Like Dreambito would be all concerned with Kakashi's decline in health (both mental and physical) and goes to confront and comfort him, many times over because that's how it is with them??? Dreambito might even move in with Kakashi, being the obsessive and protective Uchiha that he is. Meanwhile young Obito would be an absolute asshole, saying all these horrible things to poison Kakashi's mind haha

At this point, Dreambito'd be in the last stage on the journey of becoming Hokage, gaining the all the trust from the Uchiha clan, the village elders and the villagers as a whole. I don't know about Rin, though? Should she be romantically involved with Dreambito or no? Would Kakashi dream that??

I think Kakashi's dream would somewhat focus more on Dreambito being happy and satisfied, to be honest. I know there's Sakumo and team Minato as a whole, but as a degenerate shipper, I love the obsession between them🥺

I don't think Obito would directly interfere with what Kakashi is dreaming about, i.e. changing Dreambito's behavior, or like the political situation of the villages (?). But he would most definitely insert himself in Kakashi's psyche, no? Mess it up real good.

Kakashi would slowly realize that he is living a dream world, after all the flashes of memories that Obito generates in his mind. He would most definitely deny it at first though, I think? And then it would reach a point where Kakashi remembers everything from the real world, but he has also lived through 30 something years of the dream world, meaning he'd be in his 60s?? Does that make sense or no?

And so, while Kakashi now knows that everything is a dream, his feelings for everybody in the dream are real. If that's the case, is it really that important anymore that he escapes the Tsukuyomi? Can this dream world really be called fake at this point? Is there even anything in the real world for him to return to?

What's to say 'the real world' isn't a dream at this point?

-> Kakashi would completely close in on himself after this. He still does things that he would normally do, but it'd be all an act. He would feel completely isolated.

-> Dreambito would notice and confront him again, now that they live in the same house??? Kakashi would like say everything is fine and try to act more convincingly, but Dreambito would still know something's wrong????

-> Obito is observing from afar, who knows what his motivation is at this point.

Because this is Kakashi's dream world, I suppose he would have the power to change this world to his will, now that he's aware? This is like a lucid dream situation???

The people in the dream have their own will up until this point, but Kakashi can somewhat change their behavior if he really wants to, whether it's subconsciously or not??? Example: He can probably will Dreambito to kiss him or something lol

So on and so forth!

Man, I'm having waaay too much fun imagining the pain. There are probably like a thousand things that doesn't make sense haha! I do wonder how this sort of storyline should end though, does anybody have any ideas? Personally, I prefer slow burn with a (sort of) happy ending, but ya know, angst all the way is good too! I can't write, but I love thinking about all the things that could happen 😭😭 English isn't my first language, so this might have felt weird to read at some point haha

If anybody wants to develop this, please feel free to do so! And if you've read this far, thank you for reading this absolute brain vomit of mine! I love to yap, as you can tell haha Have a good day!

[bugstung]

I love your disabled Adrien! I'd love to hear more about him, if you have the time!

Thank you!

I'm still currently figuring out his injury but I can tell you about the other things I got so far

So first of all I want to explore Adrien's relationship with others way more as I thought it was lacking in the show. I want Adrien and Nino to feel closer; the two got to know each others when they were paired to make a power point together and went at Nino's house to work. Nino wasn't the type to try to befriend Adrien day one beacuse of his status, and Adrien liked that. Adrien didn't get to play much video games growing up, and Nino gets to "nerdify" him a little

I also want Adrien and Rose to bond. I made that Rose had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and uses mobility aids as well. They get to know each others as both of them are exempted from sports a,d so they hang out during those hours at the foyer. Rose is quite infantilized, and people tend to pity her way more than they do for Adrien because she's not popular (while for Adrien kids usually see as him being "brave" and all that). She doesn't try to hide her disabilities, she's pretty open to talk about it and customizes her mobility aids to fit her aesthetic. Adrien on the other side doesn't like to draw attention to his disabilities and will most of the time let comments on it slide. (something that will change overtime)

I got really inspired by skip and loafers so Marinette and Adrien personalities and relationship will be somewhat similar to Mitsumi and Shima. I want them to become friends and not have the awkward show typical Marinette stuff.

I also want a "crush switch" to happen later on. Marinette will try to move on when she realizes she cannot make Adrien's mask slip, and slowly fall for Chat Noir (I need to develop the super hero side of things more because so far I'm way more interested in slice of life lmao), and Adrien realizes his love for Ladybug was more of an admiration, and falls for Marinette

Also while Adrien is completly human, Felix is still a sentimonster. Haven't fully figured him out but there will be an interesting dynamic to explore there. Kagami is also getting a serious rewrite because I just do not like her lore. Same for Lila. Adrien will get to bond more with Luka as well. I've not thought too much about the other characters yet though.

Gabriel is more down to earth, and does genuinely care for Adrien (in still a very fucked up way). He sheltered him because of the accident and still dictates a lot of his life. Some change may happen to Adrien's mom lore since he's not a sentimonster but idk exactly what yet

Anyway if you have questions don't hesitate to ask! I still got a lot to figure out and asking stuff will also help me to think lol

[shantechni]

Natsume's Fear of Thunder

I'm gonna be honest, this can hardly be considered an analysis. It's more of a "sporadic and unnecessarily deep observation" of how Natsume's astraphobia has been presented in the series over the years, both in the anime and in the manga. So, please for the love of God take all of this with a grain of salt.

Yes, I'm using the term "phobia" very loosely, but I'm not about to get into that rn. Natsume has an irrational fear and strong dislike of thunder, that's an undeniable truth.

Before I dive in, I'd like to briefly explain why, of all the little bits of information Midorikawa has given us about Natsume, this one is the one to ceaselessly bump around in my brain like a DVD logo. This series is not in the horror genre (it's serialized in LaLa DX after all), but it does get suspenseful, and pretty disturbing depending on whatever topic it touches or the types of situations the characters may find themselves in. I don't fault anyone, particularly Natsume, for growing up with valid fears and preconceived misconceptions about most youkai; they can sound scary, they can look scary, and they can do some scary stuff if they really feel up to it.

That's why I'm so fascinated to see Natsume develop and still harbor an irrational fear for something like the everyday phenomena of storms. He's landed himself in all sorts of trouble and has come face to face with many beings, both natural and supernatural, who didn't have his best interests in mind, and yet the clap of thunder somehow keeps its spot on the list of things that has him scared stiff.

Aight, spoilers for both the anime and the manga beyond here, you've been warned👏🏽

Our first introduction to Natsume's fear is near the beginning of chapter 42, when he and Tanuma accidentally stumble across Taki's home while seeking shelter from a sudden shower. He questions how Nyanko-sensei ended up at her home as well and the youkai, much to Natsume's visible dismay, cheekily explains:

That doesn't end up happening since the rain remained light until its swift end, and the mention of Natsume's fear is glossed over rather quickly to save him the embarrassment, but it's an interesting mention made by Midorikawa nonetheless since it adds another layer to whatever image the audience has of Natsume and the series itself. Nyanko-sensei, having been around this kid long enough to know a lot of his vulnerabilities and insecurities (even the ones his dreams unwittingly reveal to the youkai), has seen and grown accustomed to a side of him that the audience had yet to be formally introduced to for once.

Right about now, you may be wondering how the anime adapted this scene. It didn't💀.

While the start of the episode (S3 EP5) is a one-to-one recreation of the chapter with virtually the same dialogue and scenery, any mention of Nyanko-sensei following Natsume to pick on him when it thunders is nonexistent and entirely skipped over so the gang can go straight to cleaning out the storeroom.

Most fans who have read the manga will tell you how notorious the anime is for excluding some of the characters' lines or scenes that take place in the manga, or just straight up rearranging or changing up those same factors. Sometimes those alterations work wonders, and other times they leave more to be desired, mainly if you know what happened in the manga counterpart of the episode. This such example is one of the times that'll leave people scratching their heads and wondering what warranted getting rid of a scene so insignificant that it'd have no effect on the plot of the episode whether or not it stayed. The only answer I can think of for that is the directors likely wanting a smoother progression of events to make for a viewing experience better tailored for an anime episode rather than a manga chapter.

Or, they genuinely didn't have enough space in the episode to squeeze in that little bit, which I highly doubt, but what would I know, I don't work for them. At the end of the day, we didn't get to see that scene in the episode.

After some more anime switcheroo shenanigans go on behind the scenes, along with an original episode pulling a retcon during a lightning storm, we receive our next moment in a surprising scene from the anime team in S3 EP10 (adaptation of chapter 28). Though the scene itself is short and not exactly an example of Natsume's astraphobia, I feel it should still be included because of its relation.

The chapter originally starts with Natsume and Nyanko-sensei searching for a tree that was struck by lightning during a storm the night before. However, the anime makes an addition of their own by rewinding time to that very night and showing Nyanko-sensei excitedly watching the storm take place while Natsume is tied up with his homework.

Nyanko-sensei goes on to tease him by suggesting that he doesn't want to watch the storm because he's scared, but Natsume dodges the youkai's mocking and begins to tell him to close the curtain before a crack of lightning cuts him off and illuminates his room.

Not only does Natsume not simply deny Nyanko-sensei's claim of him being scared, but his reaction to the thunder is seemingly more sudden than Nyanko-sensei's. Both of these points could subsequently lead the audience to interpret this entire sequence as the anime's first acknowledgement of his phobia, and it'd make for a very intriguing choice on the anime team's behalf after taking their ommitance of the previous scene into consideration. It could be a stretch though ngl, I tend to stretch like crazy, it makes sense to close a curtain when a pet is being noisy—

Finally moving on from S3, we eventually reach the most overt instance of Natsume's astraphobia, and potential origin or exacerbation of it, in the S4 finale (adaptation of chapter 46). This three episode arc is a largely intimate and heart wrenching one as it focuses on Natsume's journey to revisit his childhood home before it gets renovated by its new owners, a task he initially denied himself the permission of doing before realizing Touko and Shigeru would never deny him something so personal. Of course, he wouldn't be Natsume if he didn't attract a youkai along the way, and he's being pursued by one that seeks to feed on the tragic memories he formed while staying with the Aoi family, who was strongly implied to be the first family (if not, one of the first families) he was taken in by after his father's passing.

One of those memories shown to the audience is a younger Natsume relaxing in a shrine while memorizing where his childhood home is located, all in the hopes of gaining more discernible memories of his father and no longer being a burden to Miyoko and her parents.

Unfortunately, he falls asleep at the shrine and consequently loses track of time before having his slumber disturbed by a violent boom of thunder. He's so frightened by the ordeal that he can't even bring himself to rush back to the Aoi family's place, and his exhaustion puts him back to sleep until he's eventually found by some of the neighbors who went out searching for him.

The anime, with the natural strengths it has over the manga, goes the extra mile by not only keeping this portion relatively untouched, but further setting up the scenery and depicting just how rapidly the area goes from peaceful to turbulent. The character animation and voice acting make for a splendid combination and do a wonderful job of capturing this image of a helpless childhood version of Natsume.

What comes soon after this scene is a depressing sequence of events on its own, even more so when we can see he's still reeling from the storm and believing he caused the Aois to get into trouble by not getting back before dark. The adults obviously don't fault Natsume for getting stuck in the storm, but he doesn't see it that way in his shocked state.

The way Miyoko reacts by throwing her frustrations onto him doesn't help either.

And so, after aimlessly running off in his last unsuccessful attempt to find his childhood home, the memory fades away with a somber note as his present self recalls the moment he finally stopped calling for his long gone father.

Now, one could argue that Natsume had his fear of thunder prior to his time with the Aois since we don't have much reference material to work with when concerning his short period of time with his father, and they could be right for all I know. It's common for children to be startled by loud noises and bright flashes since they just aren't quite accustomed to those loud noises and bright flashes being customary for weather disturbances. Natsume, who we know grew up to be pretty sensitive to the things that go on around him, may have been one of those children who felt apprehension anytime a bad storm rolled in, and his father may have been the one to quell his fears back then. So, if we go with the conclusion that his fear didn't originate here, then this scene likely could've aggravated it. But I'm personally leaning a bit more towards the concept of this being the cause of it (partly due to how appealing that conclusion is to the obsessive part of my brain).

His initial reaction to the thunder is seemingly one of surprise rather than fear, and his behavior suggests that he's more concerned with making it back down the mountain before the thunder halts his progress. Although he's seen trying to talk himself down and fails to do so with how relentless the thunderstorm is proving to be, he doesn't need to have preexisting fears or anxieties over thunder to resort to calming himself down.

The dialogue differences strike me as something to consider too, but they're likely irrelevant.

Setting aside everything I just ranted about in the above paragraph, I should specify that I'm not simply pointing to the storm scene as the singular root cause for his future woes. Many psychological problems often aren't so black and white that someone can definitively point to one person or thing as the sole reason for the existence of their psychological problems. And phobias obviously don't always develop as a result of going through or observing a traumatic event; people can grow to fear or strongly dislike something merely by its association with an unpleasant memory or stressful situation. I know I'm starting to stretch hard rn, and this part of the post is getting awfully wordy, just hear me out—

Going back to that aforementioned short period of time with his dad, it's plain to see just how innocent of a time that was for Natsume. He was playful and affectionate with his dad like many children growing up in a healthy environment would be at that age. He doesn't even appear to have an awareness of youkai (if so, only slight enough for it to not become a problem for him just yet). We're shown later on that he would commonly draw around the house too, as evidenced by the nearly two decade old pieces of artwork his father never removed from the kitchen area and closet.

Natsume even proceeds to make a comment about this childhood version of himself likely being the mischievous type for him to run around drawing on surfaces without a care in the world.

He undeniably had his own troubles at that stage of his life though, with one of those troubles being his mom and the empty spot left behind by her passing away. Apart from his heartwarming portrait of a family with both parents, he's also shown lamenting to Miyoko after the death of his dad about not being able to remember his mom. We've seen with those two examples that her absence indeed left an impact on him early on in his life, but he doesn't stay too broken up over her considering how little he got to bond with her, and he doesn't openly despair about the loss of his dad until his growing sense of loneliness and longing becomes too much for him to smooth over.

The point I'm trying (and admittedly struggling) to make here is that after moving in with Miyoko and her parents, the worries on Natsume's plate increased tenfold and weighed him down far more than he was willing to accept at first. Suddenly, this kid had little to smile about in life, taking a glance at his only picture of his parents causes grief and envy to flare up in his chest, he's afraid of being a burden to those who took him under his wing, he's eating less than Miyoko because he's concerned with coming off as too greedy, he feels responsible for Miyoko getting picked on because of his relation to her, he's still learning the way back to the Aoi family's home, and now he's surrounded by all of these weird creatures that apparently no one else can see.

Suddenly, he's no longer that carefree toddler we saw sitting on his dad's lap as the two of them watched over his late mom's garden.

I feel moderately certain about Natsume's experience with the storm, coupled with this pivotal and devastating shift in his life, being the plausible cause for him developing his irrational fear of thunder as a child.

After this arc, we aren't greeted with another scene featuring or centered on his astraphobia until chapter 85 (which doesn't appear to be adapted in S7 judging from the PV😭), and it focuses on Natsume, Tanuma and Taki viewing a limited exhibition at an old inn that has a deep history with youkai. Not too long after the owner engages in conversation with Taki, Natsume and Tanuma briefly comment on how peaceful the inn is making the both of them feel, and a sudden lightning strike cuts through the tranquility of the inn.

It catches everyone off guard and, unsurprisingly, has Natsume frozen in place as Tanuma asks him and Taki if they're alright.

Much like Nyanko-sensei's first time mentioning Natsume's fear, the moment doesn't last long as the gang soon realizes they'll have to spend the night at the inn while they wait for the sudden storm to pass.

By this point in the manga though, Midorikawa has evidently decided to make Natsume's astraphobia a recurring element of the sorts. She could've easily left his astraphobia as another facet of his that we get to see once or twice and never again since it's not serviceable to the story as a whole, but she's started using his phobia as an additional means of displaying his discomfort in any given situation. Having a thunderstorm suddenly appear during a moment of serenity, immediately after Natsume tells Tanuma the place is making him feel strangely good, was a brilliant move of jarring him. And it works especially well here as a sign of the looming threat that'll find its way into the inn over night and slowly creep upon the group the longer they remain there.

Midorikawa pulls this same stunt again to slightly greater effect in chapter 117, where Natsume, Tanuma and Nyanko-sensei happen upon the Kisaragi Manor and find themselves taking part in a ritual for summoning youkai.

It starts with the trio meeting up in the evening to view the bamboo lanterns, but a woman claiming to be in search of a mansion requests their help to find it before it gets too dark, as well as to avoid getting caught in a downpour should the drizzle grow heavier. While Tanuma shows interest in the ritual, and the people they meet are treating them somewhat cordially, Natsume is disconcerted by the arrangement they've found themselves in. He's surrounded by five women he's never met in his life, is once again in an unfamiliar place that feels weird in Nyanko-sensei's own words, and is thrown for a loop by everyone's enthusiasm with the idea of meeting youkai rather than being put off by them.

The group isn't even a minute into their summoning ritual when a huge boom of thunder shakes the room and causes a power outage, sending them into a brief stint of darkness until Hitomi relights the candle.

While waiting for the candle though, Natsume answers Tanuma's question by for once admitting that he's bothered by thunder, leading to Nyanko-sensei characteristically picking on his phobia by calling him a chicken.

Again, the moment is subtle and restricted to one corner of the page, but it sticks the landing. Instead of using the lightning or thunder as a sign of things to come as she's done before, Midorikawa uses them here as an integrant of an already somewhat concerning scene slowly veering towards being disturbing. In addition to selling just how uncomfortable of a situation this is for Natsume, it also depicts how far along he is in his friendship with Tanuma to be honest about an irrational fear we know he'd rather not speak of.

Alas, chapter 117 was our last time seeing thunder scare Natsume, at least until the next time Midorikawa chooses to use his fear to her advantage, unless the anime miraculously surprises us with its own original take as we've seen it isn't afraid to do. What we've been given so far though is plentiful in comparison to many other plot points or quirks that get reused or called back to far less than this one. I won't throw a tantrum if his never gets referenced to or utilized again (which I doubt will happen knowing Midorikawa's writing), but I eagerly anticipate seeing it again should it reappear.

It's captivating to watch this minor detail frequently make it's way back into the story somehow, to the point that it eventually cemented itself as a miniscule yet effective way of shedding different shades of light on the many complexities of Natsume.

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚ Mi Corazoncito

✧.* Request- Anonymous

"Hii can you do a jealous joost like he sees you with ski aggu and gets jealousss💞🤍🤍"

✧.* Pair - Joost Klein x Fem! Reader (Slightly Ski Aggu x Fem! Reader)

✧.* Tags & Warnings - Jealousy, confessing, food(?) and tension

✧.* Summary - Joost gets jealous when he sees you interacting with his close friend. Seeing the girl he likes laughing with another man almost drives him insane.

✧.* Extra- AVENTURA AVENTURA I LOVE AVENTURA I LOVE AVENTURA AVENTURA NO LE DIGAS A NADIE LO MUCHO QUE TE QUIERO

✧.* Word Count - 1,739

Roomating with a producer can be a bit of a handful. There's always random people in their home, playing loud sounds, always hearing conversations or laughter. It's enough to make people want to move out, but not (Y/N). It was like that from the beginning though. She got tired of the loud noises and kept considering moving out, but that changed. She stayed because of the people she met. Her roommate introduced her to some of the coolest people ever.

One of those "coolest people" happened to be a Dutch musician by the name of Joost Klein. He wasn't just a cool person, he was an absolute sweetheart. He was a gentleman, some may say.

One of their first interactions happened in the kitchen. Joost was getting a drink out of the fridge while (Y/N) was reaching for a plate that was placed in a higher cabinet. She was tugging at the big batch of plates, she didn't realize the smaller ones on top were about to fall on her head. Joost noticed this and immediately jumped into action and caught the smaller plates. Joost asked (Y/N) if she was okay to which she jokingly responded with, "Oh my God you saved my life." That marked a new friendship in the process.

After that, Joost and (Y/N) started talking more, some conversations being taken to Instagram DM's or regular messages. Whenever Joost came over to work on new music, (Y/N) would be the first person in the room to talk to him. They easily connected and it was a euphoric feeling for both of them. As time went on, some feelings were starting to develop from both ends. The more they interacted with each other, the more those feelings got stronger. At first, it was a concerning issue for both Joost and (Y/N), but they individually came up with the idea 'If I don't tell, then nothing will happen.'

They never knew how hard that mentality was going to affect them.

It was another work day for (Y/N)'s roommate, meaning people were going to come over, also meaning Joost was coming over. (Y/N) waited on the living room couch for the door to make a knocking sound. Joost had a special knock that made (Y/N) instantly know it was him. It was the rhythm to (Y/N)'s favorite song. When she heard the rhythm knock, she shot up from the couch and basically ran to the door. She opened the door and was met with her blonde friend and another blonde that she didn't recognize. He had a pair of ski googles on top of his head which made him stand out just a bit.

"Hi stinky," (Y/N) heard Joost say. She smiled and gave him a hug and welcomed him and his friend in.

"How are you?" she asked Joost. He just just gave her a thumbs up and a dumb smile, which she adored.

"This is my friend, August," Joost pointed to his friend. "But you call him Ski Aggu because you're not his friend," Joost jokingly added.

(Y/N) smiled and rolled her eyes. She turned to August and put out her hand, to which he happily shook, "It's nice to meet you, my name's (Y/N)."

"It's lovely to meet you too, my friend Joost was telling me all about you," His voice and accent were deep. "You seem like a fun girl to be around," He continued, his tone changing just a tiny bit.

"I'd like to think I am," She replied. The atmosphere got a little thick in Joost's head. 'What did August mean by that? And why did (Y/N) even reply?' were thoughts going through Joost's head, but he pushed them away to not overthink.

The moment was put to an end when (Y/N)'s roommate opened his door, making everyone turn to him. "Oh shit, sorry guys. I kinda forgot you two were coming," he said, "The song's almost done, I just want Joost to make a bit more background vocals and then we're done. It shouldn't take long."

(Y/N) walked back to sit down on the couch and turned on the TV. She watched as Joost and August walked to her roommate's room to finish what they needed to do. August gave (Y/N) a little wave before entering the room, making her smile and wave back. Joost caught this and made him question even more, but didn't want to overthink it.

Before shutting the door, Joost turned to (Y/N) and jokingly said, "No girls allowed."(Y/N) giggled and told him to shut up and get to work in a joking manner.

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, at least that's what it felt like to (Y/N). (Y/N) never gave the work her roommate did any interest, even though she loves listening to music. It was ironic. But one thing she learned from her roommate, making music isn't easy or for the weak.

(Y/N) was distracted on her phone until she heard a door open. She looked up from her device and saw August walking toward the kitchen to look for a snack. She watched as he walked towards the pantry and opened it up to see what he can munch on. She kind of felt bad because her roommate didn't really buy snacks like she did. August was struggling to figure out what to get because he didn't know which snacks he was allowed to get.

"You know, I have a full bag of takis towards the back. You can have them if you want." (Y/N) suggested.

August looked at her, back at the pantry, and back at her. "Are you sure?" he asked. (Y/N) nodded and told him she didn't mind. He smiled and reached toward's the back to find a party-sized bag of chips.

August was about to go back to the room until he realized that (Y/N) was all alone. He felt bad leaving her alone while he was with his friends working. He wanted to get to know her, alone. He sat next to her and turned towards her. "You're really nice." was all August said.

(Y/N) giggled. "Thank you, but why are you saying that?"

"Well, I don't know anyone else who would let me have their full bag of chips, let alone a party-size bag," August answered.

(Y/N) laughed at his response. At the end of the day, it was never that serious, but (Y/N) loved when people took their gratitude to a silly level. "This guy almost never buys snacks and whenever he does, he eats it in the same hour." She added, referring to her roommate.

August and (Y/N) continued their conversation that started because of a bag of chips. August kept making (Y/N) laugh with his responds and comments, which caught the attention of another musician in the very next room. "Damn, bro. He's taking your girl," Joost's producer friend jokingly said. Joost lightly punched him on the shoulder and got up to "Investigate."

When Joost walked out the room, he instantly noticed how close August was sitting next to (Y/N). That made his stomach feel weird. He hated watching another man make (Y/N) laugh, especially if it was one of his friends. He wanted to jump into the conversation so he didn't feel left out. "Guys, i'm kind of hungry," was all he said to break their conversation.

August and (Y/N) looked at Joost. "I'm kind of hungry too, i'm not going to lie," (Y/N) added, "I could door-dash us some food but.... I honestly don't want to pay that much for delivery."

"Oh, August and Teun can go get the food," Joost immediately suggested.

August looked at Joost and raised his eyebrow. "Why can't you go?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to and I need to record more adlibs," Joost replied. There was an awkward silence between the two blondes. (Y/N) didn't know why but she felt like there was weird tension between the two. The more they stared at each other, the more the tension was because thicker, someone could cut it with a knife. The weird moment was broken when Teun walked out the room and said, "Come on, August. You can choose what we eat," He was while grabbing his keys.

August mentally sighed and got up to leave with Teu, leaving Joost and (Y/N) alone. It didn't take (Y/N) much to realize Joost was bothered about something. "Are you okay?" she asked. Joost turned around and muttered about him being fine. (Y/N) was bothered by his response and called him out, "Don't do that. Don't. I know something is wrong, so tell me."

Joost slowly turned back around to look at (Y/N) and was mentally debating on whether he should tell her or not. He looked at the ground like a little kid that's about to get in trouble and sighed. "Honestly..." was all he could get out while making a quick pointing gesture at the door.

(Y/N) didn't understand what he meant until she connected the dots when she remembered the tension between August and him. She gave him a sympathetic smile and patted the spot next to her on the couch. He quickly sat next to her and she laid her head on his shoulder, making his heart race. "He can never replace you," she whispered to him.

Joost chuckled and reached to lay his hand on her cheek and jawline, covering her mouth. He felt like in that moment, it was the right time to let her know how he felt. "I like you, a lot. And I hate how a situation involving a man made me tell you," he confessed.

It was silent for a couple of seconds. Making Joost worry. "I like you more, but I still want to get to know you," (Y/N) replied. Joost smiled and looked at her.

"How about I let you know me more over dinner?" Joost asked. (Y/N) gave him a big smile and nodded. She gave him a quick kiss on his temple and got up to run to her room. Joost watched as she disappeared into her room. He finally got the girl he wanted and was once grateful for his envy.

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

im back because im bored. writing with nails is hard so sorry if theres mistakes </3

it took a mid ass man to break my heart to get me to come back onto here

[yourtypicalhuman09]

Same anon who gave the 5 ideas here.

I'm so happy you loved my ideas I'm so happy!🥹 (I feel a bit anxious about asking, I'm not good at social media cues so I normally just read in silence)

I do have some more ideas that I didn't want to put so my post will not be too long. And I want to share them with you.

1. (I don't know if I gave that one yet or not) Reader and their friend (s) being game development studio. it'll also make sense because Reader knows how to code and hack and because they know psychology, that will help them develop great characters and storylines that will touch people hearts in both good and bad ways.

2. If the Reader ended up teaching their friend to code and hack (especially hack) that will show a great deal of trust in them because in reality hackers don't trust each other and it's hard to make a hacker teach you hacking.

3. (Connected to 1) The first game reader and their studio made was bad (but the idea of it was good) because they were just training and trying and decided to let the world see it and judge, criticize, give advice. They even asked for advice on how to make games in the first place and it ended up with some cyberbullying, but more people given a lot of advice, from other game developers, authors, artists, and every random stranger on the internet you can find, Some were from the Batfam. The studio listened and made the game great in the end, making it one of the most downloaded games. And one of the biggest reasons is the fact that people love having a part in making something, it makes them feel connected to that thing. (Maybe that was the reader's idea using the knowledgeable psychology.) imagine the reader seeing Tim praising their game to one of the bat siblings not knowing that one of its makers are living with him. Imagine when he finds out.

4. When Alfred notes that reader doesn't seem to be chasing the families approval anymore and seems to find their peace of mind and healing he feels happy for them, because them being happy makes his job easier and he still cares about them somehow (even when they are at the bottom of his list of priorities).

5. I don't know if the reader will move out or not but imagine if the family of the friend help them move out, get a job if they don't have one? move to college?

6. Imagine the Batfam finding out that the reader spends every holiday and occasion one should spend with their family with the family of their friend for years apon years. Imagine them breaking into the house of the family of the friend and finding so many family pictures with Reader in them were either seem to fit in perfectly like this is the true family. Finding they almost have no picks with Reader, and even the only family photo reader was in with the Batfam, the reader is there at the corner, with some space between them and the batfam.

7. About the funeral of the father friend of the reader. Imagine the reader talking about the father stepping in the shoes their own father refused to step in. How he did teach them every single thing a father is supposed to teach his child, and more. And how even though this man is not their father by blood he is their father in every other way and no one can replace his place in their heart.

Thank you for reading I hope it's not that long

And can I be known as "anon 🌞"?

Ahhhh 🌞anon tysm for sharing more of your brilliant ideas! Like i said i love hearing from my readers whether its good or bad things because i know i can always improve and add onto my original idea and Jesus you don’t disappoint. thank you for another set of amazing ideas! Honestly don't be afraid to send in any kind of ask (though i do know its easer said than done😅).

This totally makes sense and its a really good idea! I'd love to include this in my story but if it doesn't fit i can always write another fic later with this plotline.

This is really smart i never thought of it that way. You're so clever!

This is very detailed, I've said this to 🍰anon but you should definitely consider writing this! I'd love to write my version of your concept but you know the concept better than me and I'd totally read your idea! If you still want I can still write it for you after i finish my main fic!

This is a good perspective on reader and Alfred's relationship but I already have something in mind. thank you for sharing though!

Wow are you a mind reader or am i just that predictable😅. I was actually planning on doing this so good on you for figuring it out!

OMG as always you have such good angst ideas! I love the idea of the Batfam being jealous of friend's family.😂

Ahhh you did it again! I absolutely love this idea! Again if you don't mind I'll probably use it.

Don't you worry about the length of your asks I love your ideas! Feel free to ask anything 🌞anon have a good day/night!

[clementineofmine]

I'm sitting here rewatching Tua S3 for reasons, and one interesting thing I picked up is that the entire season is really just each of the Umbrellas struggling to define and searching for family in their own way. Here's me laying down some thoughts for y'all:

Luther - For him, family has always been about the team. That's part of the reason he's so drawn to the Sparrows, bc at first they seem to have the cohesiveness that the Umbrellas lacked. Remember, Luther was the last one left at the Academy, then Reginald sent him to the moon alone. So of course seeing a "functional" team is going to be compelling for him, and he desperately wants to be part of it. And then he and Sloane quickly fall in love and for the first time in his entire life, someone wants him for him. It's intoxicating and utterly consuming NRE that is more powerful than anything he's ever felt.

Diego and Lila - For these two, it's about figuring out how to be a family. Both together, but also a little bit with the other Umbrellas. Diego looking out for Allison and Klaus and Lila and Five coming to a truce are part of this - more about Lila and Five in a sec.

Allison - In her mind, her family is Claire and Ray. This one is obvious, but I also think that the writers did us a disservice by not letting us into Allison's perspective. If you think about it, it's completely normal for a parent to put their child above all. While I don't defend her actions, her motivation could have been more compelling and it would have strengthened her character. But sadly she's the character on the show that is most "othered" (which is bad for many reasons)

Klaus - he really dug deep into individual relationships w family, starting with Five (e2 and 5 Five and Klaus bonding are still some of the best bits of the season imo), Diego, Reginald, Sparrow Ben, and then Luther in the afterlife.

Five - Five remains a pragmatist. His bar for family is very low - success for him means the Umbrellas being alive, no matter what the personal cost or sacrifice to him or to some extent others. It is somewhat depressingly delightful to see how he makes his peace with the end of the world as the season progresses. Before that, however, I'd like to meander back to e3 and 4 where Lila convinces him to electrocute himself and then they go on the Commission mission. Both of the actors do a fine job here bouncing back and forth between witty banter and genuine emotion and I love it. It's a quick and subtle piece of dialogue when Five explains how he saved Lila from the Handler. The undertone is that they were both abused by that woman in a similar way - ultimately, she developed and kept them both as pawns in her own game. And I think Five, starting in S2E10 and fleshed out through S3, develops genuine empathy for and eventually acceptance of Lila as family, as one of them, because of this shared experience.

Viktor - Like Viktor in all seasons, he continues to feel out of place with the Umbrellas and compensates by over-prioritizing his relationships with others. Don't get me wrong, I do empathize with him that he lost real love with Sissy and Halan, but I also think Allison was 100% valid to call him out on his lying in E6, and it was on point to verbalize how the constant focus on Viktors pain minimizes her (and everyone else's) experience. (Edit to add: Viktor finally seems to get the message on this, after being called out by Allison, then subsequently both Sparrow Ben and Five, and spends the last few episodes trying to make amends. Real character development here and I like to see it)

Reginald - Well, his overarching motivation since S1 has always been bringing back his dead wife, so I won't belabor that, but also it's interesting to see how he interacted with Klaus particularly - esp in E7 when he sobers up it seems he is experimenting with remembering his role as a father. Now we don't get a ton about his internal motivation here, but you can tell there is some mild curiosity, if not affection, for Klaus, despite the fact that he ultimately is cool with sacrificing him.

Some of these are more obvious than others, but when you tie them all together, the idea that they are all desperately looking for family and the blind spots that that creates for them, some of the messiness of S3 starts to make a bit more sense.