#Italian!jason

[fcthots]

ok so this is clearly self-indulgent but what Reader x canon stuff isn’t?? 😤 anyway I’m finally submitting a thing because your portrayal of him & all these ficlets have done wonders for the world—

Italian!Jason (and/or just Jason Who Speaks Italian) & you have used Italian as sort of a “comfort language” since you were growing up together as teens. Yeah, you speak English, but your nicknames for each other, the curses you tend to use, just a lot of specific words because English isn’t always properly descriptive…& there was always a sweet Italian old lady who made the best bolognese & arancini!

anyway, he dies & you’re obviously heartbroken. Skip to Jason finding you (he might be in costume or not) & revealing that he’s alive. He’s too tall, his eyes are too green, he’s too tired and sad-looking. Not that he’s not attractive, but—what if it’s not true? There’s clones, alternate dimensions, dreams…

Then he’s speaking your language. Just partly because you were never fluent. He’s slowly coaxing you into a hug. (Or maybe this is much less angsty & you went from suspicious to in love & ready for a sexy reunion in seconds, lol.)

anyway, have a great weekend!! ♥️ 👌🏽🇮🇹

I'M SORRY THIS IS LOW KEY FUNNY AS HELL BC I'M ITALIAN BUT I'VE SLOWLY LOST ALL MY HERITAGE LMAOOOO

Also I google translated everything bc despite my last name looking like an Italian masterpiece even I say it the English way.

He rotated through every nickname in the book. You were his "principessa", "Tesoro", "cara", "bella", "mia amata", "mostriciattola", etc (princess, sweetheart, dear, beautiful, my loves, and little monster). He called you every sweet name under the sun, all in the language he said "was more fit for your beauty. It sounds much better in Italian."

And one day he stopped calling you anything. One day you just stopped hearing his voice for what you thought would be forever. One day he's calling you "puttana" for stealing his food and then the next day he's dead, laying in a coffin six feet under. You put a red, green, and white rose by his grave because you think he would have found it funny. You don't go back.

You're not the same after, haven't even jokingly attempted to speak a lick of something other than English. You keep quiet, keep to yourself, and think about Jason's spiel about americanized food when you pass by a Dominos pizza.

This all changes, though, when you're walking home by yourself late at night. You have to pass through the bad part of town and maybe you should have been more careful, but it was too late for that now. There were two men and one had a gun; you stood nom chance of making it if you ran. You attempted to back up, just to put some space, but you backed into a trash can and it loudly knocked over. You assailants don’t seem to have appreciated that: one grabs your arm and the other levels the gun at your head. You're shaking and slightly crying, scared out of your mind.

That is until a tank of a man with a bright red helmet drops in. He takes out the man with the gun first and the other pulls a knife to put to your neck. The Red Hood freezes when he looks into your eyes. After the knife starts digging into your skin, he springs back into action. It all happens so fast, you're not even sure what really happened.

But the next thing you know, there's two unconscious bodies on the floor, and the Red Hood is kneeling before you, taking off his mask.

"Principessa?" (princess?)

"PUTTANA?" (BITCH????)

[rotten7rat]

Just gonna leave this here

[mydairpercabeth]

i’m sorry but Percy being the token white boy of camp half blood will forever be hilarious to ME

[bruciemilf]

There’s no such thing as a good patrol.

The bats prowl among dark corners like quiet shadows. They’ve been doing it since youth was reality, and not a distant, blurry daydream, that left them feeling like icons and ghosts.

There’s certain measurements to what makes one satisfactory, thought. Boredom checks no boxes.

“An ouija board? Seriously, Steph?”

Stephanie looks at Jason with a small smirk, “What, is this cultural appropriation? Let me get the ukelele out.” She dodges the batarang effortlessly.

Dick frowns, “What are you guys talking about?”

“Dude, just don’t. You’re too old for trends. Accept it. Live laugh love it, or whatever the hell boomer Milennials say.”

“SHUT UP! THAT’S THE THING I’M SENSITIVE ABOUT.”

ANYWAY. They get the brilliant idea to try and conjure Thomas Wayne, because why not?

Theres has to be some fragments of the street urchin Bruce gave wings to still breathing in Jason, because he’s absolutely against the idea.

Tim, surprisingly, agrees, “What if ghosts ARE real and we’ll undo years of scientific research negating the existence of supernatural entities Christians use as proof to validate their beliefs?”

“…And…You know, what if we upset Bruce.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, that too.”

But they never listened to Tim before, so why start now?

They do use the board, and it does work, and the thing is? They get to SPEAK to Thomas, too.

What they discovery leaves them all petrified. When they tell Bruce, they do so with regret in their hearts.

He turns around, comically slow, eyes wide and bright against his eyeliner, shimmering with angry fire. They’ve never seen him so angry. So offended. So utterly disgusted.

“How DARE you call my father a New Yorker?!”

[hazardparadox]

What if I just...

...

IM JUST SAYING-

(Bonus!)

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I’m an Alfred/Martha/Thomas truther. Like Alfred is a baddie in his 80s you all know he must have been a slice back in the day. And it is canon Martha and Thomas were smoke shows.

Like let hot people get it. Let hot men kiss while their wife turns mobsters kneecaps into flour with a baseball bat.

[thecruellestmonth]

Jason Todd + literature

RHATO (2016) #20

Become What You Are by Alan Watts

Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #8

Hannah Arendt, author of Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil

Batman (1940) #395

Detective Comics #573 // Detective Comics #1042

The Gotham Gazette, local newspaper

We Are Robin #7

Alexandre Dumas, author of The Man in the Iron Mask, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Robin Hood: The Outlaw

Batman: Legends of Gotham

La Bête humaine by Émile Zola

Batman and Robin Eternal #3

1984 by George Orwell

Batman Incorporated (2012) #7

Richard III by William Shakespeare

RHATO (2011) #6, written by Joshua Williamson

Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

Batman and Robin (2009) #5 // Batman: Three Jokers #2

Getting the Best Out of Your Brand

Chronic Pain Management

Detective Comics #569

Moby-Dick; or, The Whale by Herman Melville

Batman and Robin (2009) #23 //Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #31

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Red Hood and the Outlaws: Rebirth

The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli

The Art of War by Sūn Zǐ

Batman #648

Batman #409 // Batman: Arkham Knight—Genesis #2 // Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #23

See also: lit nerd Steph by @our-happygirl500-fan, Shakespeare nerd Dickie by @luanna255

[giotanner]

every few years I rewatch Batman: under the red hood and I cry every single time as soon as Robin-Jason in the end of the story says Robin is magic and starts laughing. A stab wound would hurt less emotionally. (The ONLY movie I ALWAYS hear in the original because Jensen Ackles' voice as Jason Todd is heartbreaking and perfect when he asks to be killed 😭)

[mybrainisoveractive]

I always imagine that Tim would have fucked up taste buds. Like for example, with pizza, :

Tim at a pizza place: "hey Marco! Get me my usual please!"

Marco, tired af,: "yes. Your fucked up antrovies and olives pizza."

And that Richard would be basic til no end but with a...twist. Like ordering cheese pizza but no tomato sauce below the cheese.

Just dough plus cheese. Kinda like cheese bread.

Jason would hate Tim and Stephanie for eating pineapple on pizza. [Tim does it on purpose to trigger him. It's Stephanie's preference of pizza]

Damian and Bruce. Will eat pizza with a fork and knife. To make things more fucked up, fork and spoon.

Alfred would hate greasy food like pizzas fr.

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"DEAD GIRL WALKING" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

So hey, can't have the reprise out without the og out, right? Here you get the Dead Girl Walking song adapted in Italian! I regret my life choices sometimes!

ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)

[VERONICA] Il demonio della scuola l'ha decretato: Dice che lunedì, alle otto, il mio status sarà cambiato Mi chiuderanno in bidelleria Giustizieranno in caffetteria Trenta ore da vivere— Come le spendo?

Non devo stare e morire come bestiame Potrei andarmene e abbandonarle nel letame Ma non ho una motocicletta 'Spetta—c'è un'opzione che mi diletta: Passare queste ore facendomi lui! Sì!

Mi serve duro Son una morta vivente Son sotto al tuo muro Son una morta vivente Prima che suoni la campanella Entro dentro a questa finestrella Ho tempo per 'na bottarella *cade dalla finestra (dentro alla camera), che praticamente è una specie di bussare/botta* Son una morta vivente

[J.D., parlato] Veronica? Che ci fai nella mia camera?

[VERONICA] Shh...

Scusa, ma dovevo proprio svegliarti Vedi, ho deciso di farti fino a che non ti senti più le parti Perché Heather mi ha condannata Sei l'ultimo pasto d'una giustiziata Chiudi la bocca e togli la biancheria intimo!

Forza! Son tua stanotte Son la tua morta vivente Re delle botte Bacia 'sta morta vivente Forza, sai la routine Prendimi e facciam casin Inchinat'alla volontà d'una morta vivente!

E lo sai, lo sai, lo sai È perché tu sei fantastico Dici d'esser vuoto dentro Ma non son d'accordo Sì, è ingiusto il mondo Rendiamolo 'n sottofondo Qui dentro è fantastico Rendiamolo fantastico!

[J.D.] A me va bene! Oop-

[Instrumental/Guitar Lead]

[VERONICA] Sì! A tutto gas vai! Prendi 'sta morta vivente

[J.D.] Com'hai trovato casa mia?

[VERONICA, stringendo la spalla di J.D. (aggiunto io)] Stanchiamoci dai Scuoti 'sta morta vivente!

[J.D., poggiando la mano su quella di Veronica e tenendosi la spalla (aggiunto io)] Non rompiamola è mia!

[Veronica] Stanotte non dormi te Meglio berti tutto quel caffè

[J.D.] Okay, okay

[VERONICA] Mettiti a posto Fai sparire questo posto!

[J.D.] Okay, okay!

[VERONICA] Colpiscimi! Tiram'i capelli! Toccami

[VERONICA & J.D.] Di lì e di là e di qui!

[Veronica] Non un'altra parola promettente

[J.D.] No-oh-oh-oh!

[Veronica] Ama 'sta morta vivente

[J.D.] Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! Sì, sì!

[VERONICA con J.D.] Ama/Amo 'sta morta vivente

[J.D.] Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! 'Spetta, 'spetta!

[VERONICA & J.D.] Ama/Amo 'sta morta Sì! Sì! Sì!

[J.D., Veronica gli morde la spalla (aggiunto io pensando al film)] Ow!

[VERONICA & J.D.] Sì! So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

[VERONICA] The demon of the school has decreed it: She says that Monday, at 8 a.m., my status will be changed They'll close me in the janitor's closet Execute me in the cafeteria Thirty hours to live— How do I spend them?

I don't have to stay and die like cattle I could leave and abandon them in manure (thank you google translate) But I don't have a motorbike Wait—here's an option that delights me (I would've put entertains me but once again google translate knows what I want better than me): Spend these hours doing him! Yes!

I need it hard I'm a living dead (girl) I'm under your wall (but more of at the bottom) I'm a living dead (girl) Before that the bell rings I'm going inside this small window I have time for a knock/quick sexual intercourse ("bottarella" little hit [exists in Italian and I just found out in slang it means a quick sexual intercourse. That wasn't intentional in the beginning which is way it was "I don't have time" but because of that was changed to "I have time", I'm lucky it also means to hit something]) *falls from the window (inside the bedroom), which technically is some sort of knock* I'm a living dead (girl)

[J.D., spoken] Veronica? What are you doing in my room?

[VERONICA] Shh...

Sorry, but I really had to wake you See, I decided I'm gonna do you till you can't feel them (as in his private parts) anymore 'Cause Heather has condemned me You're the last meal of an executed Shut your mouth and remove your underwear

Come on(/let's go)! Tonight I'm yours I'm your living dead (girl) King of hits (LISTEN IT FIT THE RHYME AND ANYTHING ELSE WAS TOO LONG FORGIVE ME) Kiss this living dead (girl) Let's go(/come on), you know the routine Take me and let's make a mess Bow down to the will of a living dead (girl)!

And you know, you know, you know It's 'cause you're fantastic You say you're numb inside But I don't agree Yes, the world's unfair Let's make it a background In here it's fantastic Let's make this fantastic!

[J.D.] I'm on board with that(/I'm alright with that/I'm good with that/that's good for me/that works for me [but that's too different from a literal translation])! Oop-

[Instrumental/Guitar Lead]

[VERONICA] Yes! Let's go full speed ("A tutto gas" is like saying go at top speed)! Take this living dead (girl)

[J.D.] How'd you find my house?

[VERONICA, squeezing JD's shoulder (I added that)] Let's tire ourselves out come on Shake this living dead (girl)!

[J.D., putting his hand's on Veronica's and holding his own shoulder (I added that)] Let's not break it it's mine!

[Veronica] Tonight you won't (more literally don't) sleep Better drink all that coffee

[J.D.] Okay, okay

[VERONICA] (Get yourself together/)Get your ass in gear Make this place disappear!

[J.D.] Okay, okay!

[VERONICA] Hit me! Pull my hair! Touch me

[VERONICA & J.D.] There and there (but a different way to say it) and here!

[Veronica] Not another promising word

[J.D.] No-oh-oh-oh!

[Veronica] Love this living dead (girl)

[J.D.] Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! Yes, yes!

[VERONICA with J.D.] Love this living dead (girl)

[J.D.] Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! Wait, wait!

[VERONICA & J.D.] Love this living dead (girl) Yes! Yes! Yes!

[J.D., Veronica bites his shoulder (I added that thinking about the film)] Ow!

[VERONICA & J.D.] Yes! OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):

[VERONICA] The demon queen of high school has decreed it: She says Monday, 8 a.m., I will be deleted They'll hunt me down in study hall Stuff and mount me on the wall Thirty hours to live— How shall I spend them?

I don't have to stay and die like cattle I could change my name and ride up to Seattle But I don't own a motorbike Wait—here's an option that I like: Spend these thirty hours gettin' freakay! Yeah!

I need it hard I'm a dead girl walkin' I'm in your yard I'm a dead girl walkin' Before they punch my clock I'm snappin' off your window lock Got no time to knock I'm a dead girl walking

[J.D., spoken] Veronica? What are you doing in my room?

[VERONICA] Shh...

Sorry, but I really had to wake you See, I decided I must ride you till I break you 'Cause Heather says I gots to go You're my last meal on death row Shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities!

Come on! Tonight I'm yours I'm your dead girl walkin' Get on all fours Kiss this dead girl walkin' Let's go, you know the drill I'm hot and pissed and on the pill Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!

And you know, you know, you know It's 'cause you're beautiful You say you're numb inside But I can't agree So the world's unfair Keep it locked out there In here it's beautiful Let's make this beautiful!

[J.D.] That works for me! Whoop-

[Instrumental/Guitar Lead]

[VERONICA] Yeah! Full steam ahead! Take this dead girl walkin'

[J.D.] How'd you find my address?

[VERONICA] Let's break the bed Rock this dead girl walkin'!

[J.D.] I think you tore my mattress!

[Veronica] No sleep tonight for you Better chug that Mountain Dew

[J.D.] Okay, okay

[VERONICA] Get your ass in gear Make this whole town disappear!

[J.D.] Okay, okay!

[VERONICA] Slap me! Pull my hair! Touch me

[VERONICA & J.D.] There and there and there!

[Veronica] And no more talkin'

[J.D.] No-oh-oh-oh!

[Veronica] Love this dead girl walkin'

[J.D.] Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! Yeah, yeah!

[VERONICA with J.D.] Love this dead girl walking

[J.D.] Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey! Wait, wait!

[VERONICA & J.D.] Love this dead girl Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[J.D.] Ow!

[VERONICA & J.D.] Yeah!

[variousqueerthings]

im tired of pretending. i think jason statham has a certain compelling homosexual jai ne se quoi

[sanguineterrain]

Which actors do you think could play Jason Todd? I don’t think any actors look exactly like comic book Jason besides like professional wrestlers

It's a tough question! I remember I saw a reddit thread about it and people were suggesting such pretty boy actors lol! Not that Jason can't be attractive but it doesn't fit him to have such a pretty doe-eyed face imo.

I feel like a young Marlon Brando would've suited irl Jason so well. Brando was handsome but not obnoxiously so if that makes sense, and he had stronger features which I always picture for Jason! A bigger nose, strong chin, a frown even when his face is resting... but then like you said most actors wouldn't have the build to match Jason.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I guess I should put out a bat fam basic headcanon statement…..

Batfam Headcanon Baseline:

Alfred (69…nice)

-5’8

-British

-Is in possession of the coveted last brain cell

-Can and will kill for very little

-Despite having infinite shopping money for groceries he loves a bargain, coupon king

Bruce (35)

-6’4 (big boi)

-Italian (Southern Region) and Russian

-A brand of autistic that could be described with the word “grumch”

-In love with Clark

-Is a himbo AND a wet cat

Dick (21)

-5’10 (says he’s 6’0)

-Romani, Portuguese and French

-ADHD and joint hypermobility

-Pansexual menace

-Fashion ✨Icon✨

-Should quit being a cop and become a beauty guru

Cass (18)

-5’5

-Chinese

-L E S B I A N

-Selectively mute

-Does fake ASL around pretentious rich people, actually just Naruto ninjutsu signs

-Loves to grill a cheese

Jason (18)

-6’7 (Biiig Boi)

-Puerto Rican and Scottish

-A chef a connoisseur

-Hates Cops

-Bisexual/Greysexual (he’s not sex repulsed just not like that about it)

Tim (15)

-5’4 (pocket sized)

-Vietnamese and German

-Trans King 👑

-In a polycule with Kon and Bernard (maybe Bart too depends on the time of day)

-He was a sk8er boi

Duke (12)

-5’0 (A growing boy)

-Jamaican and Dominican

-The token straight

-Sleeper mario kart assassin

-Airdrops memes at galas to his siblings to see who will break first

Damian (7)

- 4’5 (he so tiny)

-Italian, Russian, Chinese and Arab

-Will ask if you have games on your phone

-Not allowed on the internet unless he is watching cat videos

-Also Autistic

[wwemcumuscleslover]

This is one hell of Italian piece of cake...

Wait, No, it's the whole damn cake

Jason Beghe as Hank Voight..

Sassy, sexy, badass..... OK what more can be add here?

[tarancho]

johnathon ohnn eating gołąbki. that's it.

[giotanner]

It's time, I have to ask: if there is a batfam (or Tim Drake - or Jason Todd - especially) discord tell me PLEASE

I need it.