#Love that I was right about the ace discourse

[fumifooms]

shut up, straight

I dared to say "hey let’s not shit on m/f couples it alienates queer people in the community too" on my blog and didn’t even put it in any tags and here we are ✌️ You are a tar pit.

[lilyflower06]

Im going to be real for a second and say, damn, Tumblr needs more trans and ace positivity...

[just-nebularomantic-things]

Nebularomantic culture is not feeling like you belong.

You don’t want to be grouped in with the allos because you have your own unique experience and love embracing your identity, but you also don’t feel like you’re “aro enough” because of the fact that your identity causes you to love more rather than love less… doesn’t help how heated things can get in the aspec community and even just watching from the sidelines makes you anxious..

❀

[alymccart]

[Click image > right click > "open image in new tab" for higher res]

Alright, uh. Screw it. Let's dust off this account. I was embarrassed about even drawing this, and especially about sharing it publicly, but I'm slapping it up here. Why not. Been extremely burnt out lately, doing art professionally has pretty much killed my desire to do art for the sake of enjoying it (sorry, fans of my dead comic). Mental health has been shoddy. Actual health is eh, as well. I've been too busy to really think and have been so guilty about there being so much stuff to do in my life still that I haven't really afforded myself time to relax or unwind. My enthusiasm for anything has been in the dumps for years. I don't think I've drawn more than a handful of fanart pieces in over a decade (what you see on here is pretty much it), and I've certainly never drawn something like... this. Obviously, I watched Hazbin finally (didn't even realize the show was an actual thing now, though I did love the pilot eons ago; I don't tend to traverse into fandom discussion and discourse so I've been out of the loop). I'm actually nearing double-digit rewatches... and the OST has been on repeat for weeks. Well animated, beautifully written adult cartoons? I'm here for it. Musicals? Oh yeeahhhhh! A well animated, beautifully written adult cartoon that is also a musical??? *teakettle noises*

I'm ace as hell, but wholesome, loving, devoted relationships like this in fiction seem to hit me right at my core. I also cry at heartwarming videos and movies, but that's beside the point... I just... hrrrnnnnggg... Charlie and Vaggie's relationship has SENT ME. It has an iron grip on my soul and I cannot stop it. I feel like i'm 14 years old again. I want to write fanfiction. Is it 2004?? Where am I????? What the fffffasdfasfagghfgfjhdd????????!!!! Aannnyyyyywayyyy.... This art gave me stomach butterflies the entire time I worked on it, as well as an immense amount of joy, and I really hope this can maybe do that for others. And I still have... so many ideas........ so many....

[arowitharrows]

I know that during the height of the harassment campaign against aromantic and asexual people a wildly spread belief was that right-wing conservatives/homophobes etc would actually love aspecs because of [insert far fetched reason based on twisted logic]. but I'm still surprised that so many people bought that argument and still seem completely surprised when it turns out that it's so fucking far from the truth.

Like, everytime there's a new article claiming aspec people are ruining marriage, that we have a sickness that needs to be cured, that we are dangerous to children etc., there are people going "but that doesn't make sense, why would they hate asexuals/aromantics for not doing anything??" and I'm just.. they hate us because we don't fit into their propper heteronormative world view. What's not to get? What's so illogical about that that you have to claim it doesn't exist, that it's just misplaced hatred for some other minority? I guess I'm just angry sometimes that people still think their "ace discourse" logic applies to bigots in the real world.

[thegoldencontracts]

He Is...

Summary: In another universe, your boyfriend is a bit... Odd, to say the least? Why do you stay with him? U-uh, because canon said so (ortho is just platonic ofc)!

Notes: Pure crack based off of popular fanon things that I honestly don't find accurate. No hate, just a bit of joking. Minor spoilers. Also, if you're touchy about popular fanon headcanons you have, you might want to avoid this post. I have no hateful intentions, but I understand it may be take that way. As always, I am open to constructive critiquing and discourse.

Riddle is going to collar you if you so much as breathe wrong. He does absolutely nothing nice for you. But then when you want to leave him, he breaks down crying...? Weird.

Trey is disturbingly obsessed with teeth, but he's completely perfect other than that. Literally perfect. No, really.

Deuce is incredibly dumb and well-intentioned. He's never done anything wrong in his life! Biker gang? What biker gang? You're just hallucinating.

Ace is an absolute asshole. He's never apologized for anything in his life. Just- a complete douche, somehow.

Cater is incapable of speaking on anything other than pure slang. You tell him you're going to break up with him, and he just says "yikes". Who does that?

Leona is literally the worst person you have ever met. Depression? What depression? He's just lazy! But yeah, he's the scum of the Earth. Trust. At least he respects women?

Ruggie is communist. You don't know where it came from, but he is. But he's also a scammer. Yeah, good luck.

Jack is a tsundere... You thought there was something else? No, that's it. He's a tsundere. He's cute, though.

Azul is a little baby boy. He's just that same little octopus he was. Scams, contracts, business? What are you talking about? He's just your little baby boy who'll break down crying if you don't tell him you love him every five seconds!

Floyd is a serial killer. What do you mean he's only seventeen? He's a serial killer! He kills people. That's right, he kills them. He's a merciless, remorseless killer.

Jade is completely sick and twisted. He'd kill you for a single corn chip, and he's never felt any emotion other than schadenfreude in his life. He's not seventeen, he's, uh- he's been lying to you! He's actually a demon who thrives off of souls (and being one hell of a butler).

Kalim is nice. He's also an idiot. That's right, this man has literally never had a critical thought in his life! Can you believe it? He's never had any hardships, either. Poisoning attempts? What poisoning attempts? There's nothing to see here!

Jamil is an asshole. There's no justification for it. His life was so amazing, it's not like he was basically a slave or anything. Why couldn't he just talk to Kalim before going through with his plans? It's literally that easy!

Vil is a mean girl. That's right. He's selfish, manipulative, and lazy! What do you mean 'he wants people to work and be the most beautiful they can be'? He's just a mean girl, guys. Nothing more to it. And I can't believe he ruined Rook! It isn't like Rook chose to move into Pomefiore or anything!

Rook is creepy, and a stalker, and an irredeemable piece of shit. You see, he used to be a shining beacon of perfection in Savannaclaw, but then the EVIL Vil had to RUIN him! The horror! He was so happy there, too! Everyone knows that dull, lifeless eyes are the number-one sign of happiness!

Epel is a perfect, dainty little boy who can do no wrong. He's just- a shining beacon of dainty and perfect ideals. So fragile. So perfect. So helpless. He has absolutely no autonomy. Trust me on that. Just a perfect little angel boy.

Idia is an unhygenic, depressed softie. He's never showered in his life! It's not like STYX had a lot of focus on systematic hygiene that Idia's used to or anything! And he's never looked down on others in his life! You can trust me on that!

Ortho is a kind, soft little robo-boy who can do no wrong. That time he tried to fire a laser beam on the school? Ignore that, he's just a little baby!

Malleus is sooo in love with you. No, he's not acting oddly due to being unused to friendship, he's in love, damnit! He's in love! He's making this an otome!

Lilia is a dad. And he thinks you should get together with Malleus. Really, he's just there to set you up with the dragon man!

Silver is the perfect, most noble and well-liked gentleman. Awkward? Unused to people wanting to hang out with him? Nope, none of that. Just perfection here!

Sebek is the scum of the Earth. Why, you may ask? Simple! He's loud and arrogant. I don't know why he hates humans so much, really, it's not like he's dealing with internalized species-ism or anything...

[geminiartemis]

Let's talk about Mammon's asexuality!

Okay, first of all, I know this post is waaay late to the party, and maybe someone else has already talked about this much more eloquently than I ever could, but fuck it, I just feel like talking right now. lol

So, back in July, this official image was posted.

Most people were surprised to find out that Mammon is asexual. Heck, even I was surprised, although I had seen that theory around.

But after a while – and many, many rewatches of that episode – I realized that it makes perfect sense.

(Obligatory disclaimer: I'm ace. Not all aces feel the same way about sex and allos. Mammon is a piece of shit regardless of his asexuality. Most real life aces aren't assholes like Mammon. I actually love Mammon as a character. Don't take things too seriously. It's not that deep. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Drink water. TRUST US WITH YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!)

Exhibit A

Mammon insists that making a sex robot out of the clown pageant winner is not weird. Then he points at some random guy in the audience and says HE'S weird for even thinking that.

Here's what I think. Mammon knows it's weird. Look at his face. Listen to his tone. He's super weirded out. It's only acceptable to him because it'll make them money, because he's still a greedy bastard, but he does think it's weird. Nobody said anything and he still got defensive about it and put the blame on someone else. “YOU'RE weird, you sick fuck!”

The thing is, to him, sexualizing a young clown is probably just as weird as sexualizing anything or anyone else. Because he's ace and not too worried about the ethics of it as long as it makes him money, sex is weird, sexualizing people is weird, people who like sex and sexualize others are weird, but those things are generally socially acceptable, so everyone is a sick fuck, so how is sexualizing Fizz any different? He just doesn't see the difference, nor does he care to.

Exhibit B

Like I just said, people who sexualize Fizz are, in Mammon's own words, “sick, fucking degenerate adults.” Like, the idea actually disgusts him! He is so disgusted by his customers who sexualize Fizz that he can't even keep his opinion of them to himself while recording a TV ad! Not because he has morals or any affection or sympathy for Fizz, but because sex and sexualizing people disgust him. He just doesn't get the appeal at all. (But it makes him money, so he goes along with it.)

Exhibit C

Since sex is so important to allos and IT KEEPS BEING BROUGHT UP ALL THE TIME, we aces sometimes get the impression that it's all allos think about. We assume sex is allos’ Roman Empire. Assume that allos are always DTF. What do you mean you DON'T want to be fucked, Fizzie?? *Crimson voice* That's the kinda shit you allos like, right?!

The sad thing is, that's the sentiment I saw some people in the fandom express when this scene and this line came out. So Mammon's reasoning here isn't even an exaggeration, ridiculous as it is. I don't know if those people were hypersexual allos or clueless aces, but… yeah… it's something that some people think in real life, apparently.

Anyway, the point is, I can totally see the ace vibe in Mammon now. Is making one of the most irredeemable villains ace, the kind of ace who has zero respect for allos, a wise idea in terms of ace representation? Eh, we've already had this discourse in Hazbin Hotel with regards to Alastor, and everyone has their opinion on this. I'm not getting into that. And hey, Octavia is ace, too! I don't know if that will be relevant in the show, but it'd be really cool if it were. We'll see!

[booksandpaperss]

idk who exactly on this tag needs to hear this but it’s definitely a lot of you:

it is perfectly okay for a fanfic writer to have Mike and Will having physical and sexual thoughts about each other. They are teenagers and it completely normal for allosexual and even acespec teenagers to have sexual thoughts about the person or people they like. Yes adult fanfic writers can do this too it’s literally not weird as long as it’s written respectfully and accurately, and I’m actually so fucking tired of all this discourse that is so clearly rooted in people feeling uncomfortable with two boys being sexually attracted to each other, or even queer teenagers in general having sexual thoughts about each other.

I do think it’s weird to write explicit sex scenes between minors and especially in this case when these characters are represented by real people with real bodies who were minors while filming the vast majority of the show, but honestly anything suggestive between two 14/15 year olds and up that’s not explicit and/or sexualized is normal. And before any of you come at me saying I’m sexualizing minors, you can fuck right off bc I am 17 and I am sick and tired of teenagers and especially queer teenagers being shamed for sexual thoughts that are perfectly normal.

I understand if you personally are not comfortable reading and writing anything suggestive, that is fine bc I have a solution for you! Wanna guess what it is??

Just. Don’t. Read it.

If it’s content u don’t like, simply don’t interact!!! No one is forcing you to read or write anything that you don’t want to, so simply don’t. It’s that easy 😱

I will say though, that if reading an even vaguely suggestive thought in a byler fic makes you extremely uncomfortable, maybe you should take a moment to ask yourself why that is. Bc love between teenagers is not all fluffy and pure and innocent, and its honestly way weirder to have that ideal than to write teens having sexual thoughts, so maybe do some self reflection. If you’re ace and suggestive content in general makes u feel weird then that’s different, but if that’s not the case then if you’re allo and u still feel this way… idk just take a moment to check and see if you’re internalizing anything before complaining about it and spreading legitimately harmful discourse.

So, to recap:

-it’s normal for teenagers to have suggestive thoughts about each other and it’s normal to write it

-writing teenagers having sexual thoughts and making out with each other is not sexualizing, fellow queer ppl who think this literally why do u hate ur community so much 😑

-anything short of an explicit smut scene between minors is fine as long as it’s done accurately and respectfully

-it is still weird to write explicit smut in the byler fandom specifically (and any other ship between teens in ST) just bc you’d be describing the bodies of real people that were minors until very recently with actors who have stated that they’re not comfortable being sexualized like that, but first and foremost…

-…if something makes you uncomfortable or you don’t like it, simply don’t interact

-stop shaming queer teenagers for being physically attracted to each other, and stop idealizing teenage queer love as something completely pure and innocent, if you’re going to do that, please keep it to yourself

If after reading this post you 1). want to block me bc you think this whole post was sexualization or 2). plan to use this argument as an excuse to actually sexualize minors and write hardcore explicit smut between them, block me. Weird reformed purity culture is not welcome on my blog and neither are people who enjoy sexualizing minors. Fuck you ❤️

[all-seeing-ifer]

I've spent so much of the last few months reading all these books and essays and such about asexuality (and about aromanticism when I can fucking find them) by aspec people for my master's and it's been such a lovely experience but also. idk shit's weird man. like you take even a cursory look at the literature and discussions and there's such a wealth of new and interesting and nuanced perspectives on consent and rethinking the way we talk about sexual trauma and the insitution of marriage and discrimination against single people and the institution of psychiatry and the limits of modern discourses of gender and sexuality and relationship anarchy and capitalism and reproductive rights and culture and history and narrative structure and feminism and how all of it is influenced by race and gender and disability and culture and it's WONDERFUL but also. every single time I read something like angela chen's ace or sherronda j brown's refusing compulsory sexuality I can't help but wonder about how much we've missed out on. how much interesting thought and discussion and new ideas have we missed out on because of all the years these communities lost to the fucking "ace discourse". how many important conversations could we have had sooner if a small number of entirely disingenuous bad actors and a larger number of the most useful idiots on the planet hadn't declared it open season on an entire subsection of the queer community because they wanted an excuse to bully 16 year olds online. how much more could we already understand.

[monstersandmaw]

First time romancing Astarion, and I'm all aboard the ace-spec interpretation of Astarion that I've seen floating around. As someone who's ace, I definitely resonated with him in this scene anyway. That hug reaction from Astarion. Oof.

And the fact that if you also romance Halsin, one of the dialogue options Astarion can give you is to say something like: 'it's not because... we haven't... in a while... is it?'... My heart cracked painfully at that, I'm not going to lie. I have spoken almost exactly that sentence before, worrying that just kissing and physical affection is not enough for someone who's not ace. To have that validated by Astarion was really special for me.

(aka, I really didn't get to know Astarion very well in my first playthrough because he didn't approve of my absolute doormat of a Tav (Kaerlyn the drow) and I didn't spend much time with him, but now with my sassy monk...? I get it. I totally get why you all love Astarion so much).

EDIT: additional dialogue from Raphael talking about Cazador indicates that it might be linked to vampirism (my own headcanon for vampires anyway is they can't get aroused without having fed recently, not just BG3 vamps, but in general)

[some poly-ace-astarion thoughts under the cut too]

I'm not 100% convinced that Astarion is really ok with the consensual poly situation in-game, because he famously doesn't say what he actually wants and is the king of manipulating others, especially in sexual situations (e.g. what Cazador sent him out to do, and how). I'm not sure if I'll reload a save and just have Halsin as a friend...

The dialogue when you check in with Astarion before the Halsin scene is... strained? Odd??? Maybe it's just me over-analysing it. He sounded strained though - his tone high pitched and more grandiose than he'd been in previous cut-scenes, where he was more softly-spoken. It sounded more like early-game Astarion to me...

Also, my dialogue options may have been totally randomised the next time I approached Astarion after a steamy night with Halsin, but they sounded kind of strained there too, and I got the 'I can never say no to you' one, which set my ace people-pleaser alarm bells ringing...

As someone who's poly-romantic but asexual, I can project/imagine here that Astarion has come to care for Tav a lot (more than he ever expected, for sure), and he genuinely wants Tav to be happy. He trusts Tav enough to know that Tav respects his autonomy and right to decide things for himself, and values Astarion for who he is, so Astarion is intellectually/conceptually happy for Tav to get something from Halsin that Astarion is not providing (sex), but perhaps emotionally that additional fact and dynamic is harder to deal with.

That could totally be me projecting though, because that's how I'd react if my husband (not ace) and I (ace) were in that situation (we've discussed it between us, actually XD). Feelings of guilt and inadequacy around sex itself are apparently very common with us ace folks, even in very healthy and happy relationships.

Anyway, that turned into a ramble I didn't intend on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I'm not looking to start any discourse about this though. If you don't see Astarion that way, or had a different experience and interpretation, that's all totally valid and I'm not trying to invalidate it in anyway.

[notmyprey]

Hi! Uhm I’m new, I love your blog! But I’m just nervous I’ll be judged by others that I like this stuff

Hey I am so so sorry about how long it took me to get to this. I have been thinking this over quite a bit, since this is in fact a very serious thing. (I also have been really busy, which hasn't helped in the speed at which I answer asks)

Firstly, thank you! I am always so happy when people find my art/content as entertaining as I do!

Secondly, in regards to the judgment.

Unfortunately, no matter what you do, someone will judge you. But when you want something enough, when you care about something enough, you will find places and groups where that judgment lessens. I have found my place here, a place where, although no one knows my irl name, they know me by a name I answer to. Although no one knows my face, they do know a truer face of myself than many do in real life. People here know me and often know a more freeing part of me.

I think being here, on Tumbler, has been so freeing and overall rewarding. I know you may be scared of the judgment, but there are ways to lessen it. (I will give tips on how to do this later on)

Although our community has its faults, it is kind at heart and truely is trying to do what they think is best to keep others safe. Although many disagree with the methods, it always comes back to the fact that we want to have a safe place to express ourselves. This, our community, in reality, is a decently safe place.

That being said, I know the fear of harassment is very real. So if you guys want my tips on how to avoid harassment, here are some things I've found:

Dont post political views (outside of DNI lists) on your sfw vore blog. This often can lead to people who dont agree with your view on said matter to seek you out for hate. I have seen this time and time again, I whole heartedly recommend a dedicated blog to that stuff, or even creating a new/separate account for it.

Dont spam tags. This is basic, but often overlooked. Make sure you tag your posts right, or people may block you because you did post something triggering and they saw it.

Dont reblog Willy nilly. This can lead to mishaps, such as accidentally rebloging a post from an nsfw blog. Try to make sure you are rebloging from people you know are safe.

Dont threaten, even jokingly, anyone unless you make it 100% clear it is a joke. This goes for your friend, others, and even people who are mean to you. This is often overlooked, but can easily come to bite you in the ass when your words are used to make you look violent and sporadic.

If people criticize you, even unjustly, try to at least think about where those words may be coming from. I have someone call me a pedo in the past, and although I am very ace, I understand it was probably coming from a place of hurt. Whether it was their hurt or someone they knew, it was probably a subject that was important, and if they see any of the same trends as when they/another was hurt, they will point it out. Dont get angry and aggressive, no matter how much you want to. If you need to, step away.

If troll annons start invading your ask box, either turn off annon or stop answering. Answering annons like that too often only fuels the fire, trolls, not haters, but trolls specifically feed off of your reaction. There is nothing for you to often grasp onto in those moments since the face you are talking to is faceless. So, either scarcely answer trolls, or dont answer them at all.

Dont get involved in community discourse when possible. Unless your hand is forced or it is an unavoidable matter, it is best to stay out of discourse. If you still want to know what others thing/help in a muxg safer way, often, I will message others I trust about their views on the matter (or if they are involved asking if they are doing ok), but rarely anything beyond that. Its difficult, seeing people you know be in the rough situations, but often stepping in when not necessary leads to more problems than it does help.

Please note that these are just some of the things I do that help me. Other people may have their own way of keeping harassment away from their blog, but this is mine.

[prismatoxic]

bro i am so fucking tired of the arbitrary rivalries in queer communities

just. like. your sexuality, your identity, your preferred relationship dynamic, whatever--none of those things make you better than people with different needs or labels. people talking about the experiences of a lifestyle or identity that you don't have, or that you even feel is opposite to your own, isn't somehow invalidating yours.

a few examples i've seen over the years: gays & lesbians versus bi/pan people, bi people versus pan people, gays versus lesbians, aros/aces versus queer allos, trans queers versus cis queers, binary trans people versus nonbinary trans people, trans women versus trans men, polygamous people versus monogamous people (queerness optional with those obviously but i see it a lot in queer spaces), the list fucking goes on

and i'm hardly the only person to point this out, i'm just fucking tired. we are all under the same boot. we are all degenerate freaks in the eyes of those who wish we didn't exist. i feel exhausted watching discourse float by that's just queer people punching sideways. transandrophobia is the inter-community bigotry i'm currently focused on, but i still see some of the others, and i was there for older ones. i fucking remember when aphobia was all the rage on tumblr, okay. i remember people trying to draw lines in the sand between bi people and pan people. i remember transmeds (because i was one).

if you find yourself thinking you're better than other queer people based on identity alone, or generalizing all people under one label as being bad, please for the love of god take a step back. anyone can be a dick or an abuser, but it's not their queerness that makes them that way, no matter what that queerness is. and if you're parroting that "but X identity is stealing resources from Y identity!" tripe, please shut the fuck up. i don't even have the energy to go into the ~limited queer resources~ talk right now, just sit down. bottom line is either the resource you're talking about isn't finite, or the problem is the system that's making it finite, not the people trying to access it for reasons you don't approve of.

just... stop. please. you're focused on all the wrong things. if you don't understand an identity, that's fine. there's plenty that may as well be ancient runes to me. but i still respect them, and i have no problem sharing a community with them. other queer people are not your enemy.

[spale-vosver]

About Me

UPDATE: Y'all lost anon privileges because you're too pussy to insult me and put a face to it.

I'm Geoff, a 21 year old history major and aspiring archivist. I use he/xe/xey pronouns, and I'm a crippled transsexual faggot converting to Judaism.

This blog, much like my interests, is very eclectic, and will largely consist of reblogs -- though I'm not opposed to making my own posts when the mood strikes.

I'm incredibly nerdy and love to ramble, so please don't hesitate to ask me about any of my interests! Said interests, along with more info and DNI, are under the cut. Also, please feel free to spam like and reblog, as well as message me!

* I am an adult

I'm 21, and will more than likely post adult content with NSFW text and subjects. However, I will never post explicit sexual content, gore, etc. This is your warning. Please keep this in mind if you choose to interact with or follow me!

* I'm disabled

I'm autistic, have ADHD, OCD, ARFID, BED, and OCPD. Physically, I have asthma, chronic leg and ankle pain that causes me to limp, dysautonomia, chronic fatigue, and suspected migraine disorder. I use identity first language (autistic man, disabled man, etc), and identify strongly with the cripplepunk movement. I personally don't care who uses the word cripple or identifies with the movement, but that's because I don't give a shit about slur discourse.

* I'm converting to Judaism

After five years of convincing myself out of it, I've begun the process of converting to Judaism, and will blog about it here. I have a sponsoring Conservative synagogue and will be beginning conversion classes in August. I will not share the name of my synagogue nor its location for obvious reasons. I do not and will not tolerate antisemitism, nor will I answer bad faith questions about Israel/Palestine. If you absolutely have to know my opinions, I'm pro-Palestine, pro-cohabitation, and politically anti-Kahanist and vehemently opposed to Likud and the Israeli government.

To my knowledge, I do not have any Jewish heritage -- both sides of my family are strongly Catholic and are from Ireland, Germany, and Poland. If there are any Jews in my family line, we either don't know about them or they converted to Christianity.

* I do not budge about my identity

I am a transsexual crippled faggot who supports dykes, trannies, cocksuckers, muffdivers, queers, fairies, aces, aros, and who, again, does not give a shit about slur discourse within the queer community. Don't try to start that with me. You will be blocked. I loudly and proudly support all good faith queer identities. Yes, even those ones.

* Interests

As mentioned, I'm a huge huge huge nerd! Right now I'm obsessed with Doctor Who (Five is my favorite), but I'm a big sci-fi/fantasy fan in general. I also love trains and sustainable urban planning and am prone to going on rants about the absolute state of train travel in America.

* Please ask me to tag things!

I'm really bad about tagging in general, so please ask me to tag any potential triggers! I will probably forget if I'm not explicitly asked. However, I will not tag any slurs that I can reclaim or use.

DNI

Exclusionists (ALL TYPES), antisemites/islamophobes/racists/queerphobes/ableists/bigots/etc, if you think queer is a slur, if you think minorities have to be "nice" or "polite" to earn your support, if you use "Zionist" to mean "Jew I don't like", antitheists, exvangelicals/exmos/etc who refuse to deconstruct their cultural Christianity, and probably more I forgot to mention. I'm not going to humor your shit. I will block you.

[spite-of-the-grifter]

People who engage in queer discourse seriously need to be reminded of what being queer actually *is*.

It's not fitting into heteronormative standards.

It's not fitting into amatonormative standards.

It's not fitting into gender norms and doing stuff that makes YOU happy. It's taking control of your own body and doing what feels right instead of something that you felt forced/were forced into. This INCLUDES intersex people.

Just because you don't understand someone's identity does not mean you can't be supportive and it does NOT mean you get to tell people whether they do or don't belong in the queer community. They don't owe you thing about a DAMN thing in terms of an explanation in order to justify their queerness. If they say they're queer, they're queer. If not, they're not.

And again. This INCLUDES aro/ace/aroace spec people. It INCLUDES cishet aro/ace/aroace spec people.

It INCLUDES straight trans people. Anyone gnc who identifies with being straight or cis in any way. He/him lesbians, she/her gay dudes, agender people, pangender, it/its, who actually gives a fuck??

This INCLUDES intersex people.

This INCLUDES people who use neo pronouns/identities. It INCLUDES micro labels, even the most obscure ones you haven't heard of because you know what? They use it because it makes them feel good.

It INCLUDES the "cringe" people you think are too weird to be associated with. You can't make up someone's mind about whether they belong especially when they're disabled and have already been excluded from a lot of shit for most of their life, not to mention it's really insulting. Even if they're just "weird" or some shit and not disabled at all, still!! Don't be an asshole! I can't believe I have to say this to a group of people whose entire thing is acceptance and unconditional love for differences, but if you don't accept people in your own group who are different from you, you are the problem!!

Queer just means you don't fit into society's view of what "love" or your sense of self means and I PROMISE you that all these people and all others included in the LGBTQ *Plus* know themselves better than you do. You can ask, politely, if you're curious, but no one owes you an explanation and if they feel like they belong, just leave them be and ignore them if you're really so stuck-up you can't handle queer people who are "weird" or "different" to your idea of queer. Because if YOU are deciding who does and does not get to be included - in YOUR narrow idea of queerness - YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

Flag discourse and pronoun discourse and identity discourse other whiny little assholes complaining about this and that. None. Of. It. MATTERS. Go to a gay event irl or whatever and *no one is going to give a FUCK.* And if they do, they're not worth your time. I promise ipromiseipromise people irl are open to having actual intellectual conversations about identity and shit and the rhetoric of other queer people just telling you to KYS for using some label or some shit is only because the online world of pointless arguments is bleak and sad and devoid of the connection that actual complex people with feelings and unique experiences exist behind the screen. If you're one of these ignorant people, get better, and if you've ever been on the receiving end of this mind rot, it gets better.

The only way we will ever make a change towards a problem that actually matters, we have to forget the whole "UNITE AGAINST THE CRINGE ONES" narrative and open our eyes and stand together against the real oppressors.

Ridiculing people you hate because they're different will not help and will only hurt yourself in the long run.

[citizensun]

Queerness and the House of Usher (spoilers!)

See I just added these Thoughts to the tags in @quecksilvereyes 's post but now I have Feelings too

TFotHoU (or HoU, as I will refer to it here), as expected from a Mike Flannagan show, has a bunch of Queer Rep™ to talk about. HoU is, also, about remarkably evil people - amoral capitalists who'll step over anyone if it means they'll get something from it. And look! Some of them are queer! Kinky too!

That's bad queer representation... right?

The show isn't that clear when stablishing sexualities, but we see that at least three of the Usher kids - Napoleon, Camille and Victorine - have same sex SOs/assistants with curious job descriptions. Prospero's taste for orgies probably implies queerness too, but honestly I don't remember if he gets it going with any guys in the story. I honestly have no idea about Tamerlane's voyerism thingie and Frederick is the only one with a "traditional family" going on.

Unrelated, but: Leo is definitely cheating on his bf Julius. Completely dismissing about his worries for him too. And for his cat. That's objectively evil, clearly. Vic literally killed her fiancée Alessandra, though she didn't stuff her under the floorboard, which is an L when compared to Poe's original. Cam doesn't believe in true love. Perry blackmailed his sister in law. Mean. He's also got a surprisingly high kill count for the family's disappointment, but since unlike Roderick he only killed rich people, we stan. I don't belong in Kinky spaces so I haven't got a big take on Tammie, only that - well, she's completely dismissing of her husband and sees him as a prop, just like the sex worker she hires.

Huh.

See, the nature of a story called "the fall of X family" is that X family is going to be the main character. The title kinda implies that they're falling for a reason, ergo, they're despicable fucking people. And they're queer! They're very queer. Many flavors of gay. They're the main characters, and they're monsters, and they're gay.

No, that's not bad rep.

Queerness as a movement, a community and a theory is very focused on scaping a cisheteronormative society's binaries (ie man/woman, husband/wife, public/private) and creating living conditions to those who fall outside of these categories - mlms and wlws, the trans, the nbs, the aros and aces... we are all queer, strange and estranged from this weird and limited worldview. And so we create a community for ourselves. It's very focused on care and anti-stablishment. Since a cisheteronormative society tends to be very white, rich and western, it's also focuses on anti-racism, anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism. Y'all know that, this is Tumblr and we love leftist Discourse.

I also know many, many gay people irl who are not like that at all. Libertarians, anarcho-capitalists, terfs, completely apolitical people and the like. Sexuality at it's core is personal, not political, so there are gay people out there who are perfectly comfortable with their sexuality on an individual level but do not see the point of getting involved in the broader context. They're queer, but are they...?

Well—

Not to mention there's lots of asshole gays out there! Don't you have a shitty ex? Have you never been almost run over by a drunken butch who blew cigar smoke into your face? I have! Life experiences are just like that. Maybe you should touch more grass. You'll probably find a lucky gift from your neighbour's dog, who is an astrology-obsessed bisexual and also really hot but stopped making out with you at a party once she found out you're a pisces (the neighbour, not the dog).

(Granted, none of this is as bad as implanting an experimental heart contraption into the fiancée you just killed because she dared to have ethical principles and then being so consumed with grief you stab yourself in front you'd your dad but you know how it goes. We're not the 1%.)

My point is, queer people are people. We are complex. We fuck up, and sometimes there's still times to fix things and sometimes... there isn't. We're consumed by jealousy and regret and sometimes we're so locked into our own head we stop believing the rest of the world is real too. Just like any other people, because unfortunately, queerness isn't a sign of morality.

And even if queerness does mean community, kindness and acceptance, tell me... Where the hell would the Usher kids get those from? The people around them are not really peers – they're ass-istants, blowjob-giving apartments, orgy mates, heart surgery providers, hired fitness moneybags, perfect housewives. Even if the partners are all shown to care for the Ushers, there's still a distance, a power gap, that makes the relationships fundamentally wrong.

And the partners? Arguably they're the good queer rep in the show, but look – even when Julius and Alessandra are shown to be good people (or at least people with an ethical boundary), they're not the good gays, they're simply the good SO's to a family of psychos. Exactly like Bill and Morrie, who afawk are straight people.

Which leads us to HoU's parameter of morality - Auguste Dupin. He refuses to drink the Amontillado, symbol of all the Usher opulence over the years. He got screwed over by the Usher twins and by the Raven herself, but he refused to cave in (except for the informant part, admittedly). He's not a good gay guy; he is gay and he is a good man.

The fundamental difference between our show's main tragic yaoi couple isn't that Auggie is a happily out gay man (and therefore is good) while Roderick is a sad divorced hetero (and therefore is bad). Auggie is the richer man because he is a good man; he has a spouse and children and grandchildren he loves with all his heart. He has a family and a community and he has found a sort of happiness no money can buy. Roderick owns the world – but what does he really have? What do his children even have? How could they ever build communities for themselves if they were never in one? Their father made them compete for his love. He never nurtured their bonds, he just showered them with money and excess until it was too much for them to handle. Juno herself pointed out - they were never a family. The House of Usher was only that. A house. It is empty and soulless.

What is queerness without a community? How could the people who represent the relentless corporate normativity and cutthroat capitalism ever be good queer rep? How can they even be queer?

Hear me out: on the most individual, simple level, being queer is still about not fitting in. These kids are bastards. They are are PoC and women in a predominantly male and white dominated space. They're on top of the world, but they're still outsiders to their own House. How could they not be queer?

And yes, I know this discussion takes a different turn when it comes to representation in media, but it's not like Flannagan fell into a Hays Code-era flamboyant villain trope. Queerness is just there. Just like Victorine and August are both black people in (arguably) the opposite ends of the morality spectrum, there are queer characters of many kinds here. The story just happens to be about the fucked up ones.

HoU is a poignant critique of capitalism and a surprisingly funny adaptation of Poe. We'll judge it by that. It happens to be queer – more things should be.

[kittycathat]

LGBTQIABCDEFJ is not real just stop. It's made up acronym that is rarely used outside of tumblr. Queer is not an identity its just an adjective. most intersex people explicitly state they do not consider themselves lgbt. Most lgbt people do not want to associate with aro and aces. And most lgbt in the real world living normal lives and not chronically online have little to no contact or knowledge of asexuals we literally dont care. Ur existence is so insignificant offline and if we ever met a self proclaimed aroace het cis man we would probably make sure we never had to associate with him again. Ur not gay just give it up and go live a normal life. Ur a single cis person. U either dont have the emotional capacity to love someone or u are sex repulsed and dont want to have a relationship with someone either way thats just normal and there are plenty of people like that we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life just leave actual struggling gay people alone and shutup about ur stupid discourse no one cares except urselves.

That is true, the acronym is actually LGBTQIA (with variations,) not LGBTQIABCDEFJ. /sarc

but anyways hi anon! Theres a lot to unpack here

about "lgbtqia is rarely used outside of tumblr": that's the problem, bc we want it to be

about "its not an identity just an adjective": not quite sure what you're on, bc it literally is

about intersex people: this goes against what you just said, and supports that "queer" is an identity even more?? because these intersex people are choosing whether they identify as queer or not

about lgbtqia people not wanting to associate aro or ace people: bro if these are people you actually know irl, please find new friends. Find friends who actually support normal who are living their lives, just without romantic and/or sexual attraction.

about me being chronically online: anon.... i dont think you can talk after you typed out this whole thing as an attempt to make me feel bad... but ok. (also not very related but anonymous hate is a very very pathetic thing to do)

about asexuality being not well known: Also not sure what rock you live under but asexuality is pretty well known??? like the average person (at least where i live) will most likely know what it is.

about cishet aroace men: .. ok but why would i not want to associate with him? plus everyone lgbtqia is "self proclaimed" so idk bro

about not having "emotional capacity": bro what the hell do you want me to do,, i've literally never felt romantic attraction in my life

about "there are plenty of people like that": People might not want to be in romantic relationships for a number of reasons, but if it's because they don't feel romantic attraction... then they're aro-spec. Thank you for supporting the aro community by saying it's normal <333

about "we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life": bro its the internet if you don't like what i'm talking about just SCROLL

about leaving "actual struggling gay people" alone: .. when did i do anything against gay people? Plus if you're trying to stop hate... why did you anonymously send a literal hate essay to me

about "ur not gay just live a normal life": omg you got something right!! i'm actually not gay!! (so proud of you <3) Also i do live a normal life, i am so basic you can't even imagine

about no one caring: well you see.. thats the problem. that's part of why i post about aromanticism, because i want people to be actually supportive

anyways! tysm for reading all that. please be civil in comments, and be kind to everyone guys <3