#Selina calls them her kittens

[softmintpurejoy]

Selina acting like I mother to Robins >>>>>>>>>> everything else

[hana-no-seiiki]

Good news. Did some decent progress on What’s Up Danger so you guys will finally get fed this Wednesday! Bad news, the quality might not be the best since I’m fasting while writing it oTL

Anyways, here are some Batfam w/ Cat Villain! Reader moments/snippets.

TW YANDERE AND MENTION OF NONCON/SOMNO

Both Jason and Reader’s first words to each other were, “What the fuck.”

Reader referring to Jason being a giant, and violent asf esp in comparison to Dick. While Jason was confused at his heart beating so fast and mildly crushing on you while you were fighting.

Bonus points: You guys did the spiderman point meme.

You have the biggest age gap with Dick. I headcannon the boys to be close in age so there wouldn’t be any not so good implications when it comes to relationships, but it’s almost unavoidable unless Batman switches sidekicks every year or so. (You are younger than Jason but older than Tim)

But that is also another reason why you two didn’t click as well as you did with Jason

You’d often make jokes or use slang and Dick would just be “???” He tried his best though.

On the reverse side of things, and like I mention before Tim and you got along too well as friends. He’s one of the few people you could gush to about literally any fandom and he somehow (through stalking your searches and literally every gadget/appliance you owned) knew everything about it already.

You two have written several theses on fellow vigilantes and villains (mostly ‘dumb’ ones like who has the best cake based on so and so criteria)

Damian is the best when it comes to bantering with you mid-fight. It’s the combined years of sass and assassin training. Went from plain insults to whole ass (not so) subtly being horny when you beat each other down.

He’s also the worst (best?) when it comes to your nicknames. He insists that you two use it on each other. Some exclusive while others he’s usually fine hearing from other mouths.

There was one point in time where you were called Kitten while the boys forced/bribed you to call them Daddy

Tim and Jason have tattoos of you/related to you.

For Jason it’s your name with a few paw prints, and for Tim it’s when he first fought you (and got his ass whooped)

After Jason came back and revealed himself to you, he tattooed the scratch marks you left him on his back after doing the deed.

Damian secretly practices doing henna so he can draw on you during your “wedding” since he doesn’t want anyone touching you. Sort of defeats the purpose, but go off king.

Being the thorough guy he is, he uses lab equipment to make his own blends.

Bruce? Bruce hates your ass. Sometimes it’s in a hatefuckey way but most of the time he blames you for corrupting his kids.

So he corrupted you in turn.

I feel like he gets off to cucking them honestly (blame that one comic) but if Reader is AFAB I wouldn’t be surprised if he impregnated them.

He’s a softie at heart when it comes to you though, courtesy of your similarities with Selina.

Speaking of, Talia adores you.

Like if there was anyone she would want with her son it was you.

She thinks the fact that you haven’t been put behind bars is a testament to your skill, and after getting over your similarity to her “rival in love” she would actively get you to be with her son.

Eventually she realizes she loves you more than Bruce and well, that’s a story for another fic.

You have at least a dozen trackers on you at all times.

Most of them you’ve ingested and pooped out.

It’s mostly Tim of course. But the duty of actually feeding you that stuff usually goes to Dick.

Dick has uh- somnophillia’ed you a fair bit after the break up.

He really, and I mean really likes to watch you sleep.

It reminds him of those ‘catnaps’ you’d take while watching over the Titans.

There would be times where he’d just be in a daze/in autopilot for hours reminiscing about your past together

His favorite memories to go back to were your first fight together, first kiss, and times under the sheets, and a date you guys had before in a festival/circus.

He never takes the antidote for Poison Ivy’s sex pollen and always comes to you for it, regardless of his or your relationship status.

Tim has at least a million typewritten chats with AI you, and around a few hundred hours of voice chats.

You did eventually take his virginity.

He came as soon as he was inside you/you were inside him.

You have been offered to be a part of the bat crew or a vigilante. But,

you massacred many after Jason’s supposed death and feel too guilty to call yourself anything other than a villain.

Chokers with bells. It’s a popular gift to give you. Especially ones that are custom made with expensive ass materials and engraving.

Sometimes Tim just gives you weapons.

Alfred is your best source of blackmail material.

You’ve actively tried cursing him (with immortality). You love the man.

He’s secretly the president of your official fanclub/fansite but you didn’t hear that from me.

You fight a lot with Damian’s pets. Like in a way that you turn into a literal cat and hiss at them.

And last but not least, you’re vv close with every member of the Teen Titans (besties with Rachel and Garfield)

NOT PROOFREAD!!!

@sophiethewitch1

[incorrectbatfam]

I don't know if you've done this already, but headcanons about the Batfamilly doing their holiday shopping?

Bruce: The mall closes in fifteen minutes. Alfred's warming up the car and Kate already started loading the trunk. Did everyone get what they need?

Bette: I got matching gifts for you and Kate. Obviously I don't want you to know what it is, so the store's gonna ship it.

Jason: Psh, you couldn't pay me to get Bruce anything after he let me DIE.

Bette: What's in the bag then?

Jason: No peekies!

Steph: Cass and I got matching earrings. Of course, we had to get her ears pierced first.

Cass: I am filled with sharp things.

Barbara: Well, I got lucky and snagged the last ergonomic keyboard.

Duke: I returned that defective lava lamp from Black Friday and they gave me an even better one for free.

Tim: I found a bracelet for Bernard to match the necklace he gave me. It'd woven with imported conspiracy board string. By the way, Helena, Selina, and Carrie are still talking to Santa.

[Santa's workshop]

Carrie: —and I want a pony and a unicorn and a rocket ship and a kitten and a trip to Disneyland and a tropical vacation and another pony and—

Luke, who is the mall Santa: I can't feel my legs.

Selina: Say cheese!

Helena, groaning: When will this end?

[back to the rest]

Bruce: What about Harper and Cullen?

Dick: Hot Topic checkout line. They took up both registers.

Bruce: And Damian?

Dick: Isn't he here?

Bruce: I don't see him here.

Dick: I thought he went with Jason.

Jason: Since when was I in charge of the gremlin?

Dick: He's your brother too.

Jason: It's an unspoken rule that you're his handler.

Bette: Relax, let's just call him.

Bette: *calls Damian*

*phone buzzes in Steph's purse*

Steph: Shoot, I forgot. He didn't have pockets so he gave me his phone when he went to the bathroom back at the food court.

Bruce: Did any of you see him after that?

Everyone: *shakes their heads*

Bruce: I'll alert security. The rest of you, fan out.

Damian, standing behind them the whole time: ...

[morgansunflower]

Valentine

Wally West X Batsis! Wife! Reader

Warnings:suggestive content, explicit language, angst

Words:1313

Arthur's notes! Wally was abused as a kid Iris and Barry adopted him when he was a teen.

The Batfamily try to comfort Y/N during the romantic holiday knowing she misses her husband. Even with the love and support.. She begins to remember when they thought he wasn't coming home.

"Jai! Irey! It's time to go!" Y/N announced to her twin children

The twins both speed to their mother as she intentionally held in a yelp by their sudden appearance. She had been married to Wally for 8 years and had been dating him prior for 4 years.. She still could never not be startled by a speedsters, well speed.

"your still wearing your pajamas?" she asked quirking her eyebrow.

Just a few seconds went by as they were gone and then returned fully dressed.

"ready now!" Jai proudly said

"I can see that" his mom chuckled

As the, West family minus one, arrive at the Manor. Each leave out of the parked car. Jai speeds to the entrance door to the Manor, opening it for his mom and sister

"maladies!" he playfully said

Y/N laughed softly being reminded of her husband in her son.

"thank you kind sir" she smiled rubbing his forehead sweetly

Her smile faded once inside missing Wally. It'd been 6 weeks since they last saw him. He had been absent for league missions as it was his turn to be Flash. Both Barry and Wally took turns every so often. Though unfortunately Wally was held up with responsibilities more than usual and had only enough time to call his wife every few days.

Soon thereafter being greeted by her family Y/N departs to the empty family. She sits alone on the couch. Her mood worsens as she rest her hand on her chin. Even in her bitterness she was grateful for her family was supporting her while her husband was away. It was the day after Valentines Day. Alfred insisted to cook dinner and have all the family together. Because of the romantic holiday.. They knew she would likely be feeling more lonelier than she already is. Which they weren't entirely wrong.

"you ok Kitten?" Selina asked her daughter

She lowers her hand as to not look as gloom as she feels. She softly smiled not answering her as she did not want to lie. Selina sits next to her.

She gently shakes her head angered she was becoming emotional "I know he's coming back"

"but it reminds you of when we thought he wasn't" she said

~

"man Y/N is so gonna kill me! Don't even get me started on you and the family"

"Wally?" Barry looked to his adopted son

"just tell them ok" Wally said has Barry reached out to his son, he was gone.

Y/N then sees only chrysalis's energy disappearing. Her eyes only saw Barry with Bart. She looks hoping to see her husband. Barry slowly approached her with dread. He feels his body is in shock. Her eyes begin shaking as, his hand came to her shoulder.

"Y/N, he wanted me to tell you--"

"NO!!" she begin to sob, in a instant her grief shakes her, causing her to kneel down to the ground

Dick hurried to her and leaned down to comfort his sister. She couldn't move as she could hardly breathe. She felt as though she was suffocating.

Bruce adjusted his tie sighing heavily. He was so worried for his daughter losing her other half and for his son losing his best friend. He then sees her in his reflection.

"I wanted to be here for you and for her" Selina said softly

Bruce hurried to her in complete adoration and embraced her. The former thief embraced the dark knight. He kisses her as he had too much to say to her in gratitude..

"she'll be OK, Bat" Selina promised

"what if she isn't, Cat? What if Dick isn't? How can I.. How can.." help them? Love them? Comfort them? Nothing seemed to be enough, he was scared to say the wrong thing.

"you be there as a shoulder for them to cry on. You be their comfort and you deny them to think for a moment their alone"

Y/N sits in the chair staring at the gravestone dedicated to her husband. Wally's adopted parents Barry and Iris were nearby her as they both were in tears.

She had cried for so long that now she felt nothing but complete brokenness. She had her arms folded as chest felt it would cave in just from her heart beating so rapidly. Right behind her she could hear Dick crying as Barbara was consoling him. Alfred sits beside her as he could see the horror on his granddaughters face. He touches her shoulder to comfort her.

Bruce sat with Selina while looking at his daughter and his son. He looked angered but inside he was truly worried for them.

As everyone began to leave Y/N stood by the gravestone, alone. All she could think about was there last moments together.

Bruce sees Dick sitting in his car barely moving as he tried to remember where is keys are.. He doesn't need to be driving..

"I took the keys from him earlier.. I'll drive him home" Barbara said to Bruce

He gently nodded trusting her to take care of his son. Bruce sees his daughter just as he hears thunder. A obvious sign that the storm from above is nearing closer to them. Though he understood her reasoning for not reacting to her surroundings. Bruce takes his umbrella opening it. Selina kisses he side of his face

"I'll be home" she ensured, and he knew she wasn't referring to her apartment.

Bruce softly smiled to her and then steps to his daughter.

Y/N feels drops touch her hair and then her skin. Then she doesn't feel the rain on her skin. She looks to her dad who was holding the umbrella over both of them.

As if she was a defenseless child she clings to her father, needing his comfort. He held her with one arm kissing her head.

Shortly thereafter she found out, she was pregnant with twins.. It wasn't until they were 5 months old that they were finally able to meet their dad.

~

The door to the Manor lightly creaks open by Wally. Who was holding chocolates with a bouquet of his wife's favorite flowers. Dick sees his best friend and softly smiled. Wally motions him to be quiet.

"go get her" Dick proudly said

Wally hears his kids in the family room he peeps his head in. The were both unaware of their father's presence while playing games with Damian. Wally grabbed a wrapped piece of chocolate and tossed it Iris's forehead and the Jai's neck.

The twins picked up the pieces of chocolate confused. They turned seeing him and gasped "DADDY!!!"

"hi my sweet princess!! Hi buddy!!" Wally grinned opening his arms as he knelt down.

The twins speed to hug their father. Wally was, in tears as he held them. Y/N had heard her children and wanted to stand onto her feet. She wants to run as fast as she can.. Though she began to sob to such a degree it shakes her weakening her greatly.

Wally gives his kids a tight hug before taking the flowers and chocolates to his wife. He hears her crying.. Wally speeds to her kneeling right in front of her. She looks at him unable to calm herself down. He puts down the flowers and chocolates on the coffee table.

Wally reaches his hands up to her face and kisses her. She hugs him with such a tightness it twisted his heart to ache as he realized.. What she was thinking about and what was bothering her.

"I missed you so much babe. I am completely and genuinely so very sorry" he apologized

"it's OK" she dried her tears and kisses his lips ".. Thank you for the flowers and the chocolates" she softly laughs

"yes I know today is not Valentines!" he defends playfully. "but I had to make up for lost time" he smiled softly.

[queerenteen]

what if when jason was stealing the tires off the batmobile, batman was chasing catwoman through the city so they're both there to witness this tiny kid trying to jack the tires off this behemoth tank of a car.

they're in the 'off again' phase of their relationship but they both just go 'tiny child, mine' so we have the comedy of errors of batman and catwoman just running off with jason in the middle of the night.

like bruce gets him first but then four days later selina breaks into the manor and whisks off jason to the luxurious penthouse that she is currently 'borrowing'.

batman picks up jason by the scruff of his hoodie less than a week later and herds him back to the manor.

so on and so forth.

jason, the kid with no parents to suddenly two parents (batman and catwoman nonetheless) who want to spend time with him to the degree that they steal him from each other. wild.

jason: so like, is bruce your ex husband or something? am i the kid in this divorce--

selina: shush, kitten. now let me explain how we're going to break into the museum and steal back this ancient south asian artifact that very much does not belong to them--

(selina found this kid trying to steal tires from the batmobile, do you really think she's not going to teach him all her cat-burglar ways?)

it's great for a while but jason's right on the cusp of teenage-hood angst and the fourty second time you're being shuffled between your weird vigilante parents in three months whose method of custody is breaking in through each other's windows, you get tired.

jason: *twelve, angry and sleep deprived because bruce broke into 'selina's' villa to pick him up at four am* that's it! Co-parenting is a thing for the love of god

bruce and selina: *immediately get the wrong idea* we should get married

jason: *backing away with dawning horror* wait no that's not what i meant!

selina: *petting one of her seven cats like she's a bond villain* excellent, this way dick grayson will also be one of mine. that kind of contortion was meant for thievery.

bruce: alfred will finally stop passive aggressively asking me when i'm getting married, thank god. jaylad, would you like to be the flower boy?

selina: darling this wedding better be extravagant

jason: *frantically waiting for the call to be picked up* dickhead, i don't know what i did but batman and catwoman are getting married and bruce wants me to wear a dress--

dick: *just back from a titan's mission in space* omg did B adopt another kid? and what the fuck do you mean by married--

alfred: *back in the manor* ah, it's time to dip into the heirlooms for a ring--

[chikaras-garden]

Have you perhaps bounced around the idea of a Catwoman protégé with one of the boys? Playing cat and (winged) mouse with them? Chasing each other around Gotham? The sexual tension?

This is an idea that pops into my brain every once in a while, but I haven’t written anything because I can never decide between Dick or Jason.

Some random thoughts:

Her mocking nickname for him slowly becomes affectionate (“Birdy?”)

She gets caught on purpose because she likes to escape from him :)

Her dad is Falcone or Black Mask or Penguin and yes I ripped this idea off of The Batman; sue me

She is so extremely hellbent on revenge against her dad AND traps a reluctant (Dick? Jason?) into helping her

HIS FEELINGS ARE SO COMPLICATED like of course he wants justice for the poor little girl who never received love but :( she keeps doing crime :( and she’s infuriating :(

Selina and Bruce are exes in this verse

Crying

Heists

Daddy issues on BOTH sides

He calls her kitten exactly one time and she short-circuits

Her mom is dead

Her dad definitely killed her mom

Selina tries to be a good mom/sister figure! Seriously! She’s just bad at it!

Are you all familiar with the scene between Ellie and David at the hunting lodge in The Last of Us?

[haveihitanerve]

Hair

Talia Al Ghul had let him braid her hair sometimes. Whether it was for a special event or for a holiday or just when they had time to spend together, without the threat of being overheard or interrupted.(Not that the interrupter would get away with it.) But for an hour, or however long they were granted, at least once a month. Damian Wayne didn’t have to be Ra's Al Ghul heir. He could just be Damian. Braiding his mothers hair. But mother was not around anymore. And Damian had no plans of ever being around her again. Even though he had enjoyed those days. She had been kinder then. Softer. More like a mother. But Selina had shown him what a real mother was like. And Talia had not been that. But he missed braiding hair. So his feet led him to her door. 

Selina opened it on the second knock and smiled when she saw it was him. Talia had never smiled just by seeing him. He had to have done something good, something to make her proud to get her to smile at him. But Selina smiled. At him. Because he was there. “Hello kitten.” She crouched to be at his level. Another thing no one had ever done in the League. They found arrogance in their height over him. But Selina, and Bruce, and his siblings all knelt to be eye level with him. “Hello Selina.” He said back. “What do you need?” She asked, still smiling softly. What do you need? Not, what do you want? Not, not now Damian. No. What do you need so I can help you? Damian smiled and Selina lit up. “I would like to braid your hair.” He said softly. Selina stood, nodding. “You came on the perfect day.” She headed back into her room, beckoning him. Damian followed her into the very back of her room, where she pushed a panel in the wall to reveal a second room. Damian blinked. The room was painted a soft black, stars and bats and cats stenciled every so often. It had a few dark red couches and beanbags, along with a black cupboard. But the most shocking thing of all was Cass, Steph, and Babs were all seated on the couches, talking and laughing. They stopped when they spotted him, but still smiled warmly. “Hey baby bird!” Steph called, scooting to one side of her seat. “Come join me!” “No me!” Babs called, shifting as well. Cass signed a few words and Damian smiled, heading over to sit with his sister. Steph and Babs pulled a face and Cass grinned in triumph, pulling Damian onto her lap. “Hello Batladies!!” Selina grinned. “Welcome to our own personal spa room. I already did this spiel but since we have a new member, Damian Wayne, I thought I should go over it again.” She winked at Damian. “This is a place where we can talk and gossip and laugh and cry. Any emotions and rants are welcome. Vent if you’d like! Sit in silence too! No judgment. Just relaxation and girl time! Plus Damian of course!” He smiled. “We should be expecting three more guests…” she trailed off as another door opened and Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy stepped into the room. 

Cass tightened her hold on Damian, just in case he wanted to attack. But he was perfectly content in her arms. “Damian, I’d like you to meet two of my best friends, Ivy and Harley.” Damian waved and Ivy and Harley gave him matching smiles. “Hey!” Steph called. “Love y’all’s hair.” The two women grinned and walked over, sitting down across from them. “Looking for ideas Steph?” Ivy mocked. Steph snorted. “Yeah right. Like I’d go fire red or crazy cotton candy.” The two women laughed and plopped down onto the sofa. “Now we just need Lois and we’ll be ready to start!” There was a knock and Lois Lane walked in. “Sorry! Am I late?” Ivy laughed. “Just on time Lane. Like always” Lois smiled. “Thanks Ivy.” She took a seat next to Babs at the girls' invitation and Selina grinned, walking over to the large cupboard. “Alright! Pick your favorite color gals and let’s start!” The cupboard was filled from bottom to top with beauty products, nail polish, hair curlers, face masks, eyelash curlers, and more. The women all jumped up, rushing to grab a color, Steph and babs climbing over the other to grab pink and Ivy and Lois arguing over the right shade of red. Selina laughed, a loud joyful thing and Damian smiled as he watched her. Cass just grinned, still sitting. Steph grabbed a hot pink and walked past, plopping a navy blue into her sister's hand. Cass smiled in thanks. Selina caught Damian’s eye and winked, beckoning him over. He slipped off Cass’s lap, walking over to her. She picked a color off the wall and knelt down, holding it out to him. “How bout it baby bird?” Damian examined the color. 

She had picked a nice bright forest green. Green was his favorite color. “It’s- a bit bright.” He said slowly. “I have an idea!” Steph was next to them, looking for a bright purple. “How about-!” She pulled a few colors off the shelf then settled on two. “Here.” She squatted next to him as well. “You can put the green down as the bottom layer, then put this black layer over top. So it looks black, but then in certain lights, it’ll shine green.” Damian considered it, then nodded. “Okay.” Steph squealed and hugged him, grabbing the colors and his hand. “Perfect!” She hurried over to her couch and threw babs feet off(causing babs to shout a string of words Bruce had pretty much banned in the house) and sat Damian down instead. “Hold out your hands.” She ordered. Damian did as she asked. “You’re gonna look so good Dami!” She said, grinning. If Damian didn’t know his sister was a wonderful person who only wanted the best for him he would’ve thought she was joking. Babs blew on her bright red nails, having lost the fight for pink, and reached for a face mask. “Wanna do a mask babe?” She asked him. “It’ll cleanse your pores. Make your skin soft and clean.” Damian nodded. “Okay.” Babs grinned and Damian allowed her to apply it to his face. “Ooh!!! No he didn’t!” Harley exclaimed. Ivy gaped at Selina. The woman nodded sagely, holding a glass of champagne. Ivy had painted her nails a dark green and was doing Harley’s in a mix of pink and blue. Selina hadn’t done anything yet, but looking at her he remembered why he was here. Steph had finished his nails, still forbidding him from looking at them, and was now gently blowing on them to dry them. 

“Wheres Jason by the way?” Babs asked Cass, putting curlers in her hair, a mask on her face. Cass shrugged, signing “he comes and goes.” “Todd does these?” Damian asked, looking between his sisters. Cass and Steph snorted. Babs grinned. “Oh yeah. All the time.” “He has some good gossip.” Harley drawled in her Boston accent. Ivy and Lois laughed. “Yes he does. It’s most interesting.” Selina laughed. Damian hadn’t seen her this relaxed in a while. “He’s off with his father right now.” She rolled her eyes. “Something secret.” Ivy wiggled her eyebrows, holding Harley’s hand. “Maybe he’s trying to be cute for you!” Lois said, laughing as Harley did her nails in a deep purple. Babs, Cass, and Steph were quiet. Selina gave them a look. “Maybe.” 

“Alright!” Steph announced. “You can look.” Damian looked down at his nails. They were painted black, but when he rotated his wrists a bit, he could see a green shine glowing underneath. Selina came over and ooohed. “Can you do that for me too, kitten?” She asked Steph. Steph lit up. “Sure!” “Can I braid your hair while she does?” Damian interjected. Selina nodded. “Of course baby.” She sat on the ground and Steph sat between her legs, taking her hands in hers. Damian sat on the couch behind her, running his hands through her thick brown hair. As he separated the strands into sections his nails glowed every so often and he smiled, looking at them. The chatter started up again, each woman talking over the other, laughing as drinks were poured easily. Cass handed him a juice box and he smiled in thanks, stopping his braiding for a second. Selina’s hair was soft, softer than Talias, and thicker too. But it was so much fun to braid. “Wowza birdie!” Steph exclaimed, looking at Selina’s head. “Holy.” Babs muttered. “Can you do my hair next bebs?” Cass asked. Damian smiled, nodding. “Sure.” And in that moment, surrounded by the women in his family, Damian felt he now understood the true meaning of family. And from then on Selina was given the title of Mother. 

(Talia became Talia)

[wetratheadcanons]

some battinson headcanons cause i still think about him almost a year later but 60% is actually just me projecting onto him

is autistic (obviously), but also has adhd

he also deals with intrusive thoughts, it's why his no-kill-policy is so important to him

loves video games, obscure internet lore and horror - especially analog horror and found footage

his favourite games are project deepweb, he solved it in just a little under 2 hours, and vampyr, he always plays the pacifist run despite it being harder

has a whole wall dedicated to the five nights at freddy's lore, scott cawthorne might be his biggest enemy

absolute animal magnet despite being kinda terrified of all of them

can't go anywhere that has animals because they're immediately flocking to him

the whole "introvert at a party finds the dog" - situation but instead the dog finds bruce and refuses to leave

ace was the first animal bruce wasn't ever really scared of, alfred thinks he may have been trained to be a psychiatric service dog prior to his adoption

wherever bruce is in the tower, ace isn't far away, his presence calms bruce

prefers loud music, he doesn't like being alone in his head too much and the noise helps him

apart from nirvana and my chemical romance, his favourite bands are ghost and ice nine kills because he likes their consistent themes

selina gifted him a pair of pink cat-ear headphones once and they're the only pair he ever wears at home

he claims it's just because they're comfortable but everyone knows it's because he loves them

eats when he's hungry but rarely at specific times, it doesn't make sense to him

he can't really eat after waking up

doesn't eat meat, he feels like it lies too heavy in his stomach

he also doesn't like the smell of cooked meats or fish

he loves sour fruits and has a mild sweet tooth

has a caffeine addiction but he doesn't like the taste of coffee, prefers black and green tea (to alfred's delight) and energy drinks (to alfred's horror)

he's trans ftm who is either gay or bi with a preference for men (he doesn't know and doesn't care to find out)

selina and him never went further than their kiss, bruce will always put gotham before anything else (until dick comes along) and selina needs a freedom that he can't give her

they also both realised it was a spur of the moment thing since they barely knew each other at that time and found they're better off friends

they're co-parenting a kitten though it's adorable really

bruce found her half dead on patrol one night and called selina in a panic about what to do, they named her chewy

ace loves chewy, she sleeps on his head, bruce has an entire folder on his phone dedicated to pictures of them

had a robin hood phase when he was 6, tried to steal from his parents to give to people in need

alfred continually reminds him of this after he takes in dick

his favourite rogue is ivy, they have important conversations (as in ivy talks and bruce hngs) about climate change while bruce tries to stop her from murder

he implements policies build after her ideals into wayne enterprise

his respect for her rises after she gets together with harley

for all that he fights it, he can't sleep without the sound of gotham - which includes gotham typical crime

he thrives when he's alone, it's how he does his best work, be it batman or wayne enterprise

has trouble admitting defeat, dick joining him as robin helped him in that department a great deal

is pierced. he did almost all of them himself, alfred has a heart attack everytime he spots a new one

the public has a weird badboy image of him, bruce has no idea where it came from

doesn't bruise easily but is still constantly in pain

has an absolute shit posture, social anxiety and crime fighting don't help

sleeps in the worst positions humanly possible

has a weird thing about mirrors, avoids them as much as he can

doesn't give interviews ever, it's part being a social recluse, part everything the press did to his parents, part hating to be perceived

has troubles with empathy, but his compassion makes up for it in great detail

dick uses him as a jungle gym, he pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves it

when bruce is working on cases in the cave, dick hangs head down off of bruce's back with his legs over bruce's shoulders

dick claims it helps him think, bruce knows it's because he doesn't want to be alone

bruce loves the relationship dick and selina have, might be a little jealous that cat got through to the boy much faster than him though

after taking in dick, bruce makes sure to show alfred that he actually does see him as a father figure - regrets all the times he told him that alfred's not his father

that's all i have for now

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Kitten

First posted: March 22, 2019

Focuses on: Bruce Wayne and the Fam (plus a new addition)

Favorite bookmark: "GIVE BRUCE A BABY GIRL!!!! HE IS A DESTINED GIRL DAD AND DESERVES MORE DAUGHTERS!!!! AND HE NEEDS A BABY!!!!!!"

Tier: This is #11 in terms of hits and bookmarks?? How?? #9 in terms of kudos? #19 in comments?????? #14 in subscriptions. I am baffled by this.

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Apparently by this point I had secured a friendship with @audreycritter because she was the one who told me about the existence of Helena Kyle, Selina's daughter, and some comic book nonsense about her maybe or maybe not being Bruce's daughter also and how in some universes Bruce helps her get adopted out and no??? J'refuse????? This is the kind of canon nonsense fic was made to fix.

The decision was a spontaneous one. Rare, for Bruce, but not as rare as some might think. Nor were his decisions—including this one—as free from consideration as the label “spontaneous” might imply. While it was true that Bruce liked to put more deliberate, conscious thought into his life choices, the pieces had already been there, facts lurking in his subconscious like mayfly larva. When the moment had arisen, those facts had sprouted wings and coalesced into a swarm. 

As anyone following along has clocked, the majority of my fics start with the author going "Now let me explain something I need you to understand."

Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have a history of making this kind of choice before.

We stan a self-aware man.

He wouldn’t make the same mistakes as before, even if it had taken him multiple times to learn his lesson.

I do want to write that fic someday. I had a specific framework mentally charted out that would partly involve Dick learning about Jason Todd's arrival. Someday.

“Bruce!” Dick’s voice was bright and warm, flooding through the interior like sunshine.

Bruce Wayne loves Dick Grayson so. freaking. much.

He could hear Dick shifting, probably settling against a wall or filing cabinet, before prodding, “No offense, but you’re not one for mid-day, no-reason calls. What’s up?”

Ah, that familiar "okay, who died" anxiety provoked by the unexpected call of someone who doesn't do unexpected calls.

“Bruce, tell me I did not just hear what I thought I heard.” Dick’s voice was flat and preternaturally calm, a detective arriving at the scene of a crime, analyzing and struggling to withhold judgement.

Dick: oh no who died

Dick, two seconds later: oh my god not again

“You were my first call.” Bruce offered the fact quickly, an olive branch to shelter under. He kept one hand on the wheel, one hand on the fussing baby in the backseat, and his focus on getting through this call. “I know I… haven’t handled this sort of thing well before. With you.”

Whatever else he may be, Bruce Wayne is a Dad Who Tries!!!!!

He was fumbling, words turning to sludge on his lips, gumming up with guilt and regret. It was always like that, for him. It was one of the reasons Bruce preferred the cowl. No one expected heartfelt speeches from a wraith out of Gotham’s darkest nightmares. Kids, though. Kids expected those sorts of things from their parents.

Always my favorite version of Bruce, this uneloquent and painfully aware version. Also, ironically, as best I remember this entire scene was one of the easier things I've written. I just watched it happen and took dictation.

He still had days with each of his children when seeing them at the breakfast counter or curled up in the den surprised him. That’s a living thing, he would think, and it’s mine, and he would be overwhelmed once more.

Literally me with my cats. The bit right before this about the choice crashing over him like a wave and taking him by surprise even years after the fact is a thing that happens to me. I adapt really quickly in the moment to various changes and then get hit with delayed, extended surprise. (But Bruce's literal surprised thoughts are me re: my cats.)

“As sure as I’ve ever been,” Bruce replied, and even he wasn’t sure which meaning he was reaching for.

Ah, duality. It's fun to think about which he might mean and which Dick might assume.

Still, it was a relief to have Alfred greet him at the door as if this were just another ordinary day and Bruce was not standing with his neck bent as a small child tugged on fistfuls of his hair.

What an an adorable art piece this would make. Not that I'm hinting. I just see it so clearly.

She was looking around with sedate interest, calm but alert, a monarch overlooking her domain. Or, Bruce realized with wry amusement, a cat eyeing a new box.

Please also know she's doing that little unbalanced head wiggle babies do when they're old enough to hold their head upright on their own but young enough to not do it well.

Bruce had planned on gathering all his children in the den, explaining as briefly as he could the circumstances of the baby’s arrival, and letting them make each other’s acquaintance. But his day had yet to go to plan, so why start now.

Drily wry Bruce is always so fun to write. He doesn't get to be as overtly funny as his kids, but I enjoy the humor.

It was an uncomfortable maneuver, since he had to bend further, almost double, to ease the tugging on his scalp until he could loose those little hands.

big man little baby BIG MAN LITTLE BABY

“I already have a sister,” he pointed out. Bruce was inclined to describe it as petulantly, but Damian managed to keep his bottom lip sucked in, if only just.

Damian: I claim none of you

Damian, confronted by a girl baby: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BELOVED SISTER

also he's jus' a babyyyy

Damian recoiled further, and Bruce let Batman fall from his shoulders like a loosened cape.

can't get enough of this crap

Bruce wrapped his arm around Damian’s middle and pulled the boy into his side. Damian turned away so he couldn’t look at the baby, who was gabbling to herself as she gummed on Bruce’s thumb. Bruce rested his jaw against Damian’s temple, both to keep the boy still and to keep his voice low. The Manor was the securest place in Gotham, other than the Cave, but he would not risk this.

Sometimes writing the logistics of physicality is so difficult, but when it works for me, boy does it work.

Bruce let the question settle against his skin like mist before answering the same way he would again and again for years to come. “She is now.” He didn’t know. He suspected Selina truly didn’t either. Whatever the case, it didn’t matter, in the same way it didn’t matter that his blood didn’t course through Dick’s veins, that he wasn’t responsible for Jason’s broad shoulders or Tim’s blue eyes or Cassie’s dark hair or Duke’s dimples. They were his. And now this child was, too.

I think, in canon, she's supposed to be his, maybe. Don't know for sure, don't really care, and I don't think Bruce would either, as stated above.

“You will be her big brother,” Bruce continued softly. “That is a solemn charge that you cannot take lightly. As closest to her in age, she’ll look up to you. As she grows, she’ll mimic you—your words, your actions, your behaviors. Which means you’ll be in a unique position, perhaps more than any of us, to influence the person she becomes. Do you understand?”

10000% shamelessly used this exact tactic on a nibling when they acquired a younger sibling.

That was something new, the idea of being able to name a child himself.

Isn't that fun! I love names and naming things. I'm delighted he gets this opportunity. (More on this in a minute.)

Somehow, choosing a name felt like a larger responsibility than all of his former child-rearing experience put together. My car is called the Batmobile, Bruce thought despairingly as he watched his children watch each other.

Did I mention that I love drily deadpan Bruce? That line still makes me laugh.

“So does she do anything?” Tim asked. He was eyeing the baby in the same way he might a particularly florid insect—with interest, scientific remove, and no small amount of wariness. Cass wrinkled her nose but didn’t comment. “She’s a baby,” Duke pointed out with the typical fond exasperation he had picked up once the shine of the Manor had worn off. “What do you expect her to do?”

I loved trying to figure out how each kid would react and if there were ways they might respond to the new baby that would be surprising but still sensible. I'm not sure if I managed that, but I'm still pleased with how they all ended up, this weird little family of only children.

Bruce’s brain made a sparking noise, like a fork left in the microwave.

BZZT DING DING A DING A BZZT DING

“Uh, yeah? Got back on Monday. Why?” Why, why, why. Why were his children so distrustful, that’s what Bruce wanted to know. 

*taps the exhausted dry humor Bruce sign*

Bruce opened his eyes and stared at the baby shrieking inches from his face. Duke stood behind her, his hands clamped under her arms, and stared back impassively as she squealed into the phone.

Bruce has horrible children.

“B, what the—“ Bruce fought the urge to cover the baby’s ears, even though he was the only one who could hear the voice on the other end.

I love this stupid family.

There was an ominous gurgle from the baby. Duke looked at her, then at Bruce, then quickly handed her over. “Not it.”

I have literally watched hundreds of children in my life, related and unrelated. I have changed one (1) diaper, under duress, and immediately and deliberately forgot everything I was taught. J'refuse.

Helena, meaning bright, shining light, Bruce had explained almost bashfully to Selina. Selina, who had left town the same night Helena went home to the Manor but who saw each of Bruce’s texts and left the read receipt on so he would know. Selina, whose name meant moon. So she’ll always know where she came from.

Remember I said later? Later is now. As we were already spitting on canon, I was more than willing to change the kiddo's name if needed, but it turns out DC (I will be charitable and assume purposefully) chose a lovely, symbolic name that matched beautifully in a way that felt like Bruce. So I kept it. So Bruce did get to name a kid, but also not really because comics did it for him.

The legislation that he’d helped champion regarding the treatment of minors in the media hadn’t hurt either.

I think this was around the time there was a flurry of papparazzi nonsense and talk about this IRL with... Jolie kids or Cruise kids or something, I don't remember. Some grown adults being awful and pushy around famously related minors.

With each adoption, the celebrations had gotten smaller but more precious, the attendees a guard set in place, their names like a chant against hardship and a hymn of thankfulness.

I love this line, but I also think it's wrong now. I think the older Bruce gets, the more firmly he cements the relationships he trusts the most, but also the more he meets people deserving of that trust. Loner, low-key terrified Bruce wouldn't have held a gala to celebrate Dick's appearance. He would have gone full feral shields up. Maybe with Jason he would have given half a thought to expectations and appearances, but with a street kid like Jason, he would've wanted that child shielded from the horrible people in his social circle. And so on and so forth. By now he has his friends, but also his kids' friends, their allies both in domino and out.

Bruce vowed it, down in the deepest part of his heart, the core of him that let him lead a team of aliens and demigods, that made a double life possible and dressing as an armored animal a feasible life choice. A life choice he would not let the baby in his arms emulate.

I too sometimes have a deadpan sense of humor. Shocking, I know.

I take that final line not so much as full self-criticism but an acknowledgement that Bruce's children are all driven to the caped life in the same way he was—by trauma and loss and the need to fix Gotham—and all came to him with that drive already installed. With Helena, being separated from Selina is a trauma, even for an infant, but as is stated throughout the fic, Selina will remain fully present and involved as much as she wishes to be. And Bruce will brave hell and high water and even worse to keep this child from experiencing the kinds of trauma that brought his other children to him and into their other life.

She was already a wonder to him, his little moonbeam, a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a taffeta-heavy party dress with a matching headband.

The bookmark was right. Let this man be a girldad!!!! (I'd briefly considered writing a followup to this, where Cass had to sort complicated emotions about not being the only girl in the house. Never got enough reaction in the early days, though. Something about it or the tags or something attracted a larger than usual contingent of "okay but Bruce is a bad dad" crowd. Bleh.)

He realized he looked like his father, but with airbrushed grey hairs and crow’s feet lines that Thomas Wayne had never had the time to gather. He realized he looked happy.

me @ me: ow????

As stated in the before-cut stats, this ranks decently high in terms of all my fics????? Somehow????????? I can usually get a decent bead on reception just based on how option a fic shows up in my inbox or people reference it on Tumblr or whatever, but this one apparently was a sleeper to only me. Stunned. Bewildered.

[littlebatsimagines]

By Your Side (Arkham Asylum! Bruce Wayne x Fem! Reader)

Request: So if its all right with you I’d love to request a Bruce Wayne Arkham asylum game Bruce Wayne to be exact if female reader was working with him to help clean up the island and she gets injured and he gets a bit worried but is still strict about it because its Batman for peace sakes and he confesses his feeling for reader and they kiss so like an angst fluff please and thank you again love your writing💕💕💕

Sorry this took so long to get out! I actually went back and replayed Asylum so it was fresh in my mind then all my stuff showed up from moving so I had ALL my Arkham books 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

MasterList

(Y/n)= your name

(Y/nn)= your nick name

(Y/ln)= your last name

(ec)= eye color

‘First Joker tries to kill the mayor and now he's caught. If Bruce doesn't think something is wrong here he's losing his touch.’ (Y/n) thought as she turned off the news. ‘Nah Bruce is too smart too be fooled so easily.’ her thoughts continued as she started to make herself dinner. Half way through making her dinner she turned on the radio.

“This is Jack Ryder with breaking news in the Gotham Bay. We are getting reports of an armed siege on Arkham Island. Two minutes ago, Joker broadcast to all news channels this chilling message.”

Dinner now forgotten (Y/n) turned her full attention to the radio as Joker’s voice echoed through her small apartment. “Greetings Gotham, this is the voice of your new master. Oh hang on…I’ve skipped a bit. Joker here! I'm in control of Arkham Island and you can all consider it out of bounds. If I see any lawmen, vigilantes, or do-gooders in tights coming this way, I'll start detonating random bombs around the city! What'll it be? A kindergarten? A hospital? A billionaire’s mansion? Choices, choices, choices.” Joker’s speech finished as (Y/n) looked down at the busy city streets to see police and fire crews rushing around the streets in search of the bombs. ‘Joker’s bluffing, he just doesn't want anyone else on the Island. I'm sure Bruce will have it all covered.’ she thought before her phone dinged with a text.

Dick: Hey (Y/nn) I heard what's going on, I'll be in Gotham soon to help. Suit up we have work to do.

(Y/n): copy that see you soon

Going into her room and into her room she moved all her clothes to reveal the hidden panel that held her black and red catsuit, being Selina's younger sister had its perks. Once suited up (Y/n) climbed out the window using the fire escape to get up to the rooftops of Gotham. Moving a few roofs over (Y/n) patched into the police radio frequency and listened to the chatter to see if the police made any progress while waiting for Nightwing. “Hey kid, find anything?” came Dick’s voice. “Nothing. I think he's bluffing.” (Y/n) said as she turned to look at him. “Maybe so, Bruce would kill us both if we just assumed.” Dick mentioned making (Y/n) nod and hum in acknowledgment.

Hours of searching the city the two vigilantes found one of Joker's bombs downtown. “Well this looks fun.” (Y/n) said as she looked down at the bomb in the vent. “You want to get it or should I?” Nightwing asked making her shrug. “I got it, just make sure everyone is at a safe distance.” (Y/n) said as she shimmied down the vent to the bomb. Taking a deep breath (Y/n) calmed her racing heart before taking the top of the bomb off gently to be met with a small meow and a little orange paw batting at her fingers and the smell of sugar. “You good down there?” Nightwing yelled. “Peachy! The bomb is filled with kittens and marzipan!” (Y/n) called back as she climbed up with a few of the kittens. “At least we get to see these cuties" (Y/n) said as she passed some of the kittens to Dick, who helped her carry them out to the police.

Dick and (Y/n) made sure there were no hidden bombs left and took care of the street crime that plagued Gotham. While subdoing a group of criminals an alert came through on the gauntlet Selina gave her.

Selina: check the news now!

With that message (Y/n) went to a storefront that had several tvs on display showing the Gotham news. “Oh my god.” she said with (ec) wide eyes as she watched Bruce fight several of Joker’s goons and bombs while a hulking, monstrous version of Joker showboated for the news choppers. “What’s up?“ Dick said but all (Y/n) could do was point to the tv. “You’re seeing that too, right?” she asked as Dick slowly nodded. “He will be ok, right?” she asked the nervousness clear in her voice. “Yeah of course. He's Batman." Dick said as they watched. Before long Bruce had beaten Joker with an explosive gel punch knocking the monster back into the exposed electrical wires. "I know he fights Bane and stuff but I don't think I can handle watching something like that again." (Y/n) said with a sigh. "Ha, I think he'd love to hear your concern for him." Dick said with a small laugh making (Y/n) shake her head.

"New reports from Arkham Island, Batman and local authorities are helping evacuate all injured personnel and inmates for proper care." the voice of the news reporter caught (Y/n) attention. "I'm going to go help out on the island you have everything covered here?" she asked turning to Dick as he passed off a thug to the police. "Yeah I have it covered don't worry. Robin will be here soon anyway." he said with his charming smile and with a nod (Y/n) was off making her way to Arkham Island.

The island was in chaos but it was the good chaos of helping those in need. Bruce wasn't hard to find. "Hey Bats need some help?" (Y/n) asked making Bruce turn to her. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Gotham helping Robin." He said sternly only for (Y/n) to sigh. "Nightwing is with him and I figured you could use the help after the night you've had. Besides I had to see myself that you were ok." she said the last part quietly moving closer to his side. "I'm fine get back to Gotham I have it covered." He said moving away from her only for (Y/n) to grab his arm and gently pull him into a side hall out of the way of the rushing doctors and first responders. "Bats you can't do everything alone. I'm worried about you, its been one hell of a night and you're exhausted let me help." she whispered as she looked up him pleadingly. Bruce studied her carefully before nodding and walking away. (Y/n) quickly followed after him splitting up to different parts of the hall to help those who needed it most.

Everything was going great until...it wasn't. (Y/n) was helping a young doctor when she was suddenly pulled back by her hair. She could feel heavy breathing down the back of her neck while something cold was placed at her neck while the person behind her let out quiet giggles. "You're no Batman...but you'll do." they said softly making (Y/n)'s blood run cold. She knew that voice, she knew it too well, it was a voice that always gave her nightmares that Bruce had to come in and calm, it was the voice of Victor Zsasz. She began shaking uncontrollably. Zsasz was so distracted by her that he didn't notice the young doctor run out of the room. Zsasz rambled on and on and on about how he would kill her, how he would do it, where he would put the mark but she heard none of it all she heard was her terrified heart pounding in her ears. It was over all to quickly, she was on the floor, Zsasz was knocked out and being dragged away by staff and Batman was standing over her. Looking up at him the mask of the Bat fell away and she could see in his eyes Bruce was asking if she was ok but he already knew the answer. "No." was all she needed to whisper before she was picked up and carried away by Bruce.

He took her out to the Batwing was and sat her down. "I've told you how many times be carful when you're here! This is why I didn't want you here!" He angrily snapped at her. "I'm sorry I should've paid more attention." (Y/n) said quietly as she looked down at the ground. Bruce let out a deep sigh before pulling her into a tight hug. "I can't lose you too...not like Jason. I won't be able to take it." He said quietly being vulnerable about the young Robin for the first time in almost a year making her instantly wrap her arms around him tightly. "I'm right here...I'm not going anywhere." she said looking up at him rubbing his cheek as she gathered up all her courage and after a moment she kissed the Batman and to her surprise he returned it with the same passion and longing she had been dying to show him. "I'm by your side...always Bruce." she whispered as she laid her forehead to his only to be pulled into a deeper more loving and desperate kiss. "And I'm by yours."

[lilblueprint]

Bejeweled

And I miss you

But I miss sparkling

You enjoy one last shimmering night before you tether yourself to him.

This turned out a bit goofier than I intended it to be, but I think it's a cute way of showing reader let loose with her girlfriends. Bejeweled just screams bachelorette party for me, hope you guys enjoy this piece of slightly crack fluff :) Also, happy Halloween!

The engagement diamond is barely back on your finger for two minutes when you get bombarded with calls from your friends–a few in particular. Even though your recently set wedding day is still weeks away, they insist on taking you out on a bachelorette bash. 

What can you do except say yes?

-

The moment you step onto the street, a chorus of squeals greet you. Your face lights up as you see your lady squad lounging about one of Bruce Wayne’s limousines. You wave excitedly as you start towards them. 

Selina is sitting on the hood, black dress blending into her background. Her smile, however, is as blinding as ever. 

Stephanie and Cass are huddled together at the front of the group, the former bouncing on her feet and the latter gazing at you fondly. The door closest to them swings open to reveal a waving Barbara, her glasses are off tonight and you think she looks beautiful. 

“Get over here, girl!” Steph finally explodes, running over to catch you up in a hug. You laugh as she lifts you into the air like you weigh nothing, giggling breathlessly when you’re back on solid ground. 

“You look gorgeous,” you compliment her, then turn to the rest of the group. “You all do.”

Selina slides off the hood to greet you, green eyes sparkling. 

“You better get in the car, honey. Someone’s been dying to meet you,” she says, lips quirking mischievously. You gasp as you realize who it might be. 

“You didn’t–Harley!” You yelp joyfully, you’d been itching to meet the lady anti-hero ever since Selina had mentioned her. Sure enough, a pair of pink-and-blue pigtails swing your way from the driver’s seat. 

“Hey, sugar! Nice to meet ya!” Harley Quinn squeals, and your heart flutters madly when you meet her fun-loving gaze. 

“I can’t believe you’re all going to take me out tonight,” you tease as you get in beside Barbara. “It’s gonna be one hell of a send-off with you ladies.”

“Oh, you can count on it.” Steph’s grin is positively wicked as she straps herself in on your other side, Cass joining her. “Step on it, Harls!”

“You got it!”

-

The first place they take you is one of the biggest boutiques in town, Selina leading you all into the shop. Surprise, surprise–it’s been rented out just for you tonight. 

“Bruce is gonna feel tonight on his credit card, huh?” You chuckle as you run a hand over a blue silk dress. 

“You know it, kitten.” Selina smirks. “Nothing he can’t earn back, though. So don’t pay any attention to the budget tonight, sweetheart. It’s on us–with a little help from Batsy’s black card.”

This rouses laughter from everyone, and hands fly to grab gowns off the racks. A few photoshoots later, you’re all decked out in shimmering garments that fall elegantly around you like colorful auras. What’s more, the entire group is covered from head to toe in jewelry, enough to make you shine bright as little suns. The doorbell tinkles over your heads as you file out the door and back into the limo. 

“Where to next? We didn’t spend too long in there,” you say breathlessly. 

“Mhm–you’ll see in just a bit!” Steph titters. Harley snickered from the passenger seat up front, she’d switched off driving duty with Selina.

“I’ll give ya a hint, sugar–if you were this excited to meet little ol’ me, you’ll go absolutely bonkers soon!”

-

Harley was right. 

Your mouth drops open as you crane your neck to see the entirety of the behemoth of a yacht before you. 

“You guys didn’t tell me that you rented out the freaking Titanic!” you squawked, your hair brushing your bare shoulders as you shook your head back and forth in wonder. 

“Well, better be careful with that rock, then. You wouldn’t want to cause this one to sink too!” Barbara joked, referring to your ring as you helped her up the ramp. You grin at her tasteful reference, finally making it to the deck. 

What you don’t expect is the throngs of eyes swinging your way as you stand there with your girls. 

Then you realize that you know some of these people. Recognition spreads in your mind like wildfire as your gaze jumps from person to person. Your friends must’ve pulled a few strings, because you can pick out Wonder Woman and Black Canary from the crowd almost instantly. 

“Oh my god,” you murmur faintly. “I think I’m going to pass out.”

Cass looks mildly alarmed, but calms as she reads your body language. You’re glad for her patience, because you would not have appreciated a trip to the ER because your friends mistook your excitement for illness. 

Just then, Wonder Woman catches you staring at her. Smiling, she says something to Black Canary, and the blonde hero winks at you. You swoon, and Steph makes a show of catching you in her arms. 

“Listen,” you say dreamily, “I know I’m getting married to Jason, but if Dinah Lance asks me out tonight, I just might have to call off the wedding.” 

“Agreed,” Steph sighs, shooting a playful look at Cass. The ravenette shrugs good-naturedly, and it makes you all smile. 

“Let’s go mingle! We’re not going out with anyone if we jus’ keep standing here,'' Harley sings, and with overlapping agreements, you melt into the crowds. It’s a wild experience, flitting through the throngs of heroines in the most ridiculously flashy heels you’ve ever chosen in your life. You’re still reeling after meeting your two favorite Justice League members that you almost miss the clinking of Selina’s glass. 

“May I have your attention?” She purrs, and heads turn. “Thank you all for coming out, I know our bride-to-be really enjoyed herself tonight!” Playful catcalls ring out, and you blush graciously as you remember Dinah’s lips on your cheek. You could’ve died happy right then and there, but you were glad you hadn’t. This had been such an incredible night, and your heart was about ready to burst with love for your friends. 

“It’s almost midnight–let’s send our little bride off!” Barbara calls out. Cheers go up, champagne bottles pop, and suddenly fireworks burst into life overhead as the yacht cruises along Gotham’s glittering coast. You can feel tears of joy sliding down your cheeks, and you let out a happy sob as arms wrap around you. 

“Thank you all so much,” you exclaim, wiping at your face as you bring your arms around your five amazing friends. “This was the best night a girl could’ve asked for.”

“You know it, sugar!” 

“And next time, we’ll be taking you out for your baby shower!” Steph finishes, and you all laugh.

[distort-opia]

you and your anons discussing intellectual questions and here i am asking: is Bruce a dog or a cat person? ( lets ignore the very obvious joke that can be made here 😭) i really wanna know. and is there a panel of him petting a kitten.

A very valid question, and I’m glad to get an ask regarding Bruce! By his choice of romantic partners you might think he'd favor cats, but he's quite famously a dog person. He's had Ace, a German Shepard, for many decades, who's also the Bat-Hound. (I used to love his adventures with Krypto as a kid.) And, he's also got Titus, a Great Dane, though Titus is technically Damian's. Bruce has shown a lot of affection for Titus too, though.

The Wayne household does also have a cat called Alfred (...and a cow, and whatever Goliath is, and a turkey). But all of these pets are Damian's, who's quite famous for his love of animals. And in the end, it was Alfred who took care of these animals the most; Bruce hasn't interacted a lot with the cat, at least not on the page.

...That's the short, rational version of this answer. I somehow ended up going into Ace and Titus' backstories, plus I went on a tangent about Golden Age Bruce and cats. So I'm putting the rest under the cut [sigh].

In current continuity, Ace has quite the interesting origin; he was an attack dog, first found and named by Joker (as shown in Batman: Urban Legends #15):

But, as shown in Batman (2016) Annual 1, Ace was the only attack dog to survive one of the fights Joker arranged, and was left behind by Joker for dead:

It's actually Alfred who wants to keep Ace, and tries to train him. Bruce says that Joker broke the dog, and that it cannot be saved. But he clearly warms up to Ace, and becomes quite attached, after Ace proves himself to be loyal and valuable:

Later on in, in Batman (2016) #40, he even says he misses Ace while looking very sad about it:

Sorry for the unwarranted paranthesis, I really like Ace's current origin :)) But to hammer it in, Bruce is also the one to gift a dog to Damian, his son -- as shown in Batman and Robin (2011) #2 and #3:

Damian also takes a while to warm up to the dog (much like his father with Ace), eventually calling him Titus.

After Alfred's death, the animals become quite the bittersweet companions, since he'd been the one to take care of them the most. in Detective Comics (2016) #1018, Bruce finds comfort in having them around, but he's still grieving:

And in Detective Comics (2016) #1033, he takes all the pets and moves them to his new place, even Bat-Cow. It's all extra sad, because Damian (the original owner of most) left, not wanting to be Robin anymore.

I guess my point with this is... Bruce chooses dogs as companions, most of the time. He's shown petting them and playing with them, but I can't recall any instance of that with Alfred the Cat. In current continuity, he associates the dogs with Alfred especially, which gives them extra emotional meaning. After all, Alfred was the one to insist he give Ace a chance, and once Bruce stopped being closed off, he ended up very attached to him -- and with a love for dogs in general, I suppose.

...This all isn't to say Bruce doesn't like cats at all. He's dating Catwoman, and I just have to show you these panels of Bruce saving one of Selina's cats from gunfire, in Batman: Year One #3:

The faces this poor cat makes are hilarious. Sure, he saved her, but at what cost.

Also, I guess Golden Age Bruce wasn't terribly fond of cats, and it's really funny. Catwoman sicks tigers and all sorts of felines on him, and one time she leaves him tied up with cats crawling over him -- as shown in Detective Comics (1937) #203:

Love that he keeps catnip in his utility belt, and that he ends up using the cats to escape. Holy adaptability, Batman!

Also, while going on this unhinged search for interactions between Bruce Wayne and cats, I have found... the funniest thing on the planet. Apparently Superman tried to get Batman executed for witchcraft in World's Finest Comics (1941) #186.

Yeah. They travel back in time and then Bruce makes out with some hot babes which gets Clark jealous and he decides to frame Bruce as a 'servant of Satan'. And he does so... by using his power of super-ventriloquism and "throwing his voice" within a black cat:

So. Another reason for Bruce to not like cats, I guess, if they got used to frame him for witchcraft??

(I've been laughing for 5 minutes straight, oh my god. Fully recommend reading this.)

So. I don't know this turned into an insane hunt for interactions between Bruce Wayne and dogs & cats, but I hope this was entertaining, anon! No panels of Bruce petting kittens, but hey, he saves one from being shot. Though obviously, if anyone has any other additions, please feel free to tack them on.

[meritatem]

Look, Selina is smart. Brilliant. An artist in her field, capable even of outsmarting Batman when the opportunity arises. She has enough skill and knowledge to maneuver the day-to-day in this cursed city, to not only survive but to thrive.

She knows all the rules of this game, she's alive because she knows how to play it well. So why, oh, why is she letting this unknown kid into her apartment without stopping to think about how much of a bad idea this is? She's blaming Jason Todd for this; it's true that her life was a bit in disarray before her encounter with Jason, but she's choosing to put more fault into him because he had to mess with her while wearing a Batman suit, so the personal offense feels warranted. Besides there's not much she can do when the kid actually knows where she's staying at the moment, only worsen by the fact that he calls her by her name - or well, last name - as soon as they get inside. It's not like she had doubts about the kid being adjacent to Batman in some way, not with all the kevlar and the expert roof surfing, but she wasn't expecting him to actually know things. Maybe this is a sign that she needs to step away for a little while, you know? To rest, heal and all that jazz.

Damian, of course, doesn't have time to wait for Selina to sort her internal conflicts, so he just takes the throw pillows from her couch and makes a little nest for the kittens on the floor, depositing them carefully in it and putting the cape back almost in one fluid motion, he then turned around and without waiting for Selina, went directly to the kitchen, prompting her to finally react.

“Where do you keep the dishes?” He asked even though he was already opening the cupboards. “And what kind of food do you have? They look old enough for something else besides milk.”

“Hold on,” and acting like this wasn't not unusual at all, she took off her goggles off and left them in the counter, tapping with her hand in passing one of the cupboards. “The bowls are there.”

Selina didn't have a cat of her own but she had the habit of feeding the stray cats that sometimes visited her balcony, so she had more than enough cat canned food, even if said food was more suitable for adult cats but going to the pet store wasn't an option at the moment, so for now it'll have to suffice. As soon as she poured the food into a bowl, Damian seized it, hurrying back to the cats while she took off her cowl, leaving it in the same place as her goggles before running her fingers through her hair, shaking it. For a moment she considered that maybe a glass of rum was in order, I mean, it was past two in the morning and she had an unnamed vigilante child sitting cross-legged in her living room, happily helping some kittens to eat from a feeding bowl that was a bit big for them... that surely entered in the territory of “I need alcohol for this”, but that also seemed exactly like not the thing to do with a kid present, especially when said kid apparently knew all her secrets.

“So,” she started, like she was continuing with a previous conversation. “What's your name?”

“No One.” He answered like he did that first time when he met Colin again. “That's what I go by.”

“Really? Sounds a little uninspiring.”

“I won't take criticism from someone calling herself Catwoman.”

“I hope you have this opinion for Batman too.”

“Batman is a simple and evocative name, easy for the vermin to remember and cower to. It's not the same.”

“You're biased because he's your boss.”

“He's not my boss, I answer to no-one but myself.” Which was a lie, because he did ask for Pennyworth's authorization for some things, but Kyle didn't need to know that. 

In the course of the conversation, Selina started to move in the kitchen after finally deciding that tea would be best, maybe with some luck it'll really help her relax; seeing the situation she was in, seemed doubtful but it was worth a try.

“Do you want some tea?” She asked out of politeness, even if there was nothing polite about this.

“I'd accept hot chocolate, if you have it.”

“Sorry, dear, not at this time. How about milk with honey?”

“No, thank you.” He said, turning his nose with disdain.

Selina was sure this was the first time she hear someone showing so much contempt at the simple mention of milk. It was kind of funny coming from a child that definitely needed the calcium.

“So,” she said again. “How did you end up as Batman's associate?”

“By misfortune.”

Yeah, no, on a second thought she's not going there. “Ah, don't we all? It's always like that when he's involved, isn't it?” And there was a sense of nostalgia in her words, but it was only momentary. “But enough of this, let's talk about what are we going to do with these kittens,” that had to be a safer topic, right? “What was your plan? I'm sure you weren't thinking about breaking into my place before I found you.”

“I was going to temporally house them until I found a proper place for their reallocation.”

“Not adopting one yourself, uh?”

“I'm not in a position to care for an animal at the moment.”

With everything that was happening in his life, acquiring a new army of pets wasn't an immediate priority for Damian, that aside, he still had the intention of locating his old four-legged friends, if possible, so what was a little more of solitude after so many years of it?

“What is your protocol for cat rescuing?”

Selina wasn't a fan of the implication that this meant No One knew enough of her to know that she, in fact, was on the habit of saving furry critters from the streets when able. It wasn't like she actually believed a kid could be a terrible threat to her wellbeing, at least not one that claimed to be bat aligned, but it was unsettling that someone she never saw before had so much information, so clearly next time she saw Tim she'll have to ask him what was this all about.

She took out the cup she put in the microwave - with tea bag and sugar included - and made her way to the couch, letting the cup over the coffee table so she could get her boots off. It has been a long night, alright? Selina definitely was past caring about keeping appearances in her own home, intruding child or not.

“Just the usual, I feed them, take them to the vet if they need it and I drop them later at the shelter.”

“What shelter?”

“The one in Gillams Avenue.” 

Selina chose to name that one because it was the one closer to her current location. In truth, Selina favored the one she personally sponsored, but she wasn't going to offer more information about her life, god knows what else de kid knew already.

“Paw Friends has allegations of animal mistreatment. Management says the issue has been resolved but I remain doubtful, I would recommend the one in Holroyd Close instead, at least until I verify the administration's claims.”

“Oh-ho?” she expressed melodically. “Is this your thing then? The big bad bat saves people, so you save animals?”

“I've broken bones bigger than yours.”

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped from her, here she was worrying about her secrets being in possession of a child with undisclosed intentions, while said child seemed more invested in dealing with animal welfare.   

“Now, now, there's no need to be mean, we're practically on the same side here.”

“As if, we share very little in common. You don't even know what side I'm on.”

“Well, go on, enlight me.”

“My own, obviously.”

“See? That's something smart we can agree on.”

There was a very unfriendly answer ready in Damian's lips but he decided to kept that to himself, because he had no interest in continuing with such a pointless conversation, instead he was more interested in the kittens, that were done with their meal and looked now like tiny balls of fur. He felt very tempted to rub the kittens' fat little bellies, so it was a shame he couldn't take off his gloves to do that, but such were the injustices of life he had to accept.

Selina used the silence that followed to drink her tea and carefully observe her guest. Putting aside the suit and his idiolect, he didn't seemed all different from a kid taking enthusiastic care of a stranger's pet because he couldn't have one of his own. She wondered about what kind of life he had, because people usually didn't end in Batman's company for happy reasons and she wasn't blind, he was well trained, not in a way that some gymnastics in the community center could do, but something methodical and precise, in a manner that could only take years to learn. If he was saying the truth about Batman, was that the reason Bruce took him under his wing before everything? Because this was better than the alternative?

Her second mistake should be blamed on Zatanna, clearly something went wrong when she magically healed Selina, because at least that'd explain her past restlessness and now this sudden lack of common sense.

“I think it'd take a couple of days to get them a spot at the shelter, so, if you want, you can come and see them before that.”

“Tt, while your lack of effectiveness doesn't surprise me, your authorization is unnecessary. I've seen farm pens with better security than this place.”

If Selina were on a TV show, this would be the moment she'd turn to look at the camera with a unimpressed expression.

Damian had no problems with ignoring her again, this time so he could start moving the cats back to their pillow made enclosure. “They need appropriate accommodations.”

“I have a cat bed somewhere, dear,” she said, taking the last of her tea. “I'll make space for them in my room.” With that, Selina stood up, empty cup in hand, walking back to the kitchen without caring about being barefoot. “Do you have a curfew or something? As you can assume, I'm a very busy woman and if you're coming tomorrow,” she left the cup in the sink once she was in front of it before turning around. “I need—”

And just like that Selina found herself alone in her apartment, with only the meowing kittens for company and an open window, mocking her.

“You've got to be kidding me.”

From the long list of traits Damian wasn't especially proud, being a sore loser was one of the many. He liked to think he was better at it now, but it was a little difficult to measure such thing when the past years of his life had been about endurance and remorse. His current life was lacking of that too, because he wasn't competing with anyone: not for his place in the Wayne household, not for his right to be recognized as a Robin and not for his father's acceptance.

So he was trying to figure out if he was bothered because he was losing the current chess game he was having with Pennyworth or if it was the man's smug countenance, so proper and entertained, what was annoying him.

“Did you know,” said Pennyworth apropos nothing. “That the donation you made through Mrs. Wayne's Foundation has been accepted?”

Damian did in fact know, because whatever his plans were - big and small -, he was always paying attention; although he had more pressing matters than concerning himself with St. Aden's Orphanage's Easter celebration, it was still something he cared about. From the research he did the first time he met Colin, he found out that St. Aden was one of the many orphanages that was run under the Wayne Foundation and like all that fell under his father's charity, it was well founded so it wasn't in a dire need of Damian's own charitable efforts. But just like everything he did, this was just something purely for his own selfish reasons.

“As it should,” he answered without taking his eyes from the chessboard. “Are you trying to distract me, Pennyworth?”

“I would never,” he sounded convincingly offended by the accusation. “That would imply I need the advantage.”

Alfred was lucky Damian was so fond of him. 

“I brought it up because I'd like to know if I should be preparing a customary Easter Hunt for you, sir.”  

His first impulse was to scoff at such ludicrous idea and say no, because he wasn't a child. But it was just that, an automatic response from years of never considering himself a kid, not even in his earliest memories; it wasn't what Damian wanted now. He promised to himself that he'd stop rejecting the little joys of childhood, because it was the least he owed to the child he never had the chance to be.

“That would be acceptable,” he said, trying to sound indifferent. “Nothing too extravagant, simple yet tasteful would do.” And with that, he finally made his next move in the board.

“Of course, Master Damian, we wouldn't want the colorful eggs made for children to be anything but stylish.”

“You're always so hilarious, you should consider joining Grayson in the circus. You have the talent.”

The only reaction Damian got for his words, was a small amused twitch in the corners of Alfred's lips. “We should always strive to bring smiles to the ones around us.” And as if he had planned it, he made his move, successfully ending the game. “Checkmate.”

“Well played, Pennyworth,” said Damian after a moment. “You deserve to be rewarded for this, so I'll be on charge of making dinner today.”

Alfred's disapprovingly raised eyebrow was Damian's own victory... so maybe he was still a sore loser, but just the tiniest bit. 

The computer in the Grave was a work in progress, while it served its main purpose, it had a lot of limitations compared with the Batcomputer, which was the reason why he had to sneak out from time to time in the cave -  and more recently in the bunker - to get what he needed it. Of course, given the kind of people he lived with, sneaking out usually meant going on little infiltration operations. The safest time to do things he was trying to hide, was to do them when Grayson and Drake were too busy patrolling; the second was to do them when they were out cold after coming back from said patrolling.

Hypothetically, past four o'clock in the morning, should be a safe time to go in the bunker without having to worry much, at least in normal nights, when they didn't have wild situations going out of control by Gotham's standards. But Damian would've done well to remember that he also lived with a self-inflicted insomniac, so getting his plans ruined by Timothy Drake was frustratingly typical; at this point he really needed to install is own secret cameras in the bunker, if only to help him not waste time.

Going back as soon as he noticed that Tim was on the computer would be too suspicious, something Damian didn't need to add to when Drake already was distrustful of him, so he decided to do the first thing that came to his mind and started to walk confidently to the lockers, hoping Drake would just ignore him.

Of course he wasn't that lucky, because Tim seemed to have a natural disposition to go against his wishes. “What are you doing here?” He asked, as soon as Damian passed behind him, even if he was at a considerable distance.

“I came for my sword.” Was the disinterested answer.

Tim let out a sigh but kept working on what he was doing. “Why do you need it at this hour?”

“I can't sleep.”

“Training won't help, you're just going to overtire yourself.”

While part of Damian wanted to call out the hypocrisy, he was more focused on the fact that this was the first time he heard Drake say something that could be interpreted as worry for him, so probably at this point he was working on autopilot if he didn't mind sounding like he cared for Damian.

“It's not for that, is to help me sleep.”

“Are you seriously thinking about putting that under your pillow?”

“Not under my pillow, I just need to have it close.”

“The penthouse is up to Batman's standards, if something manages to pass that, you're going to need more than a sword.”

“It's not for defense, this is my emotional support sword.”

At this, Tim finally stopped typing and for a few seconds he just stared blankly at the screen in front of him. “I feel like I'm always asking you this, but, what?” And almost immediately he shook his head. “Forget it, don't answer, I know you're just messing with me.”

For a change Drake wasn't wrong when it came to him, so Damian wasn't going to argue. After he secured his sword and gave a quick but discreet look to the places that could be appropriate to install cameras, Damian naively thought that this will be the end of it, but when he got close to the stairs, Tim's voice made him stop right on his tracks.

“Damian.” It was just his name, but the way it was said felt too deliberate, like a command.

Drake, of course, wasn't looking at him when Damian turned around. He knew what kind of game the other was trying to play, so he just clicked his tongue with annoyance. “What?”

For a moment Tim acted like he didn't heard him or even spoke to him in the first place, so maybe Drake was fancying a kick in the shin this early in the morning, because he seemed to be asking just for that, however what he finally said next made Damian forget completely about any irritation.

“Do you still believe Bruce is going to come back?”

The unexpected question didn't surprise him that much, instead he was more curious about what thing in their interaction made Drake think about his father all of a sudden. “Yes, I do.”

At this, Tim turned the chair to look at him clearly. “Why? What proof do you have?” And his tone had a trace of mockery.

“I grew up surrounded by the legacy of a man obsessed with cheating death, I've seen the impossible become mundane.”

“That's it?” He said in a mix of disappointment and disdain. “Just because Ra's refuses to stay dead doesn't mean Bruce is somewhere out there, we have his body.”

“For all we know that's a magical clone.”

Probably it would be for the best if Damian wasn't so close to the truth, but given how utter ridiculous their lives were, his conjectures could pass just as a lucky guess.

Tim then let out a mirthless laugh, one that Damian knew very well. “That's the best you can come up with? Not like it matters,” he put his elbows in the armrests of the chair and interlocked his fingers, giving Damian a look of unmistakable condescension. “But what if you're wrong? What if all this time Bruce has been really dead and you're just in denial? What then, Damian?”

Drake's mind was a mystery. Damian couldn't even begin to fathom what triggered this, how they went from him reasoning his visit to the bunker to Tim talking like Damian was a fool, all in the blink of an eye. But he did have a theory as to why Drake, of all people, would act as if it was stupid to believe Bruce was alive.

Well, Damian was always up for theatricality, because that's what his life has always been at its core: a perpetual portrayal of what his parents wanted him to be. His life was still on a stage, the only difference was that now he was free to choose his role and how to play it.

“If my father is dead,” he started, sounding already bored. “There's only two paths for us to follow,” he unsheathed his katana and raised it at the same height of his shoulder, holding it horizontally in front of him. “We can defy the laws of nature and wage war on life and death alike,” with a subtle change of his wrist, he positioned the sword vertically, with its end pointing directly towards Tim. “And we search in heaven, hell and in-betweens until the universe kneels before us and has no other choice but give him back. Or,” in a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of movement, he sheathed the sword again, setting it firmly on the ground, resting his hands - one top of the other - over its handle. “We accept that he is gone and begin to come to terms with his loss until we learn to move on.” And he waited for his words to settle before finishing his little scene. “I already know my path. What's yours?”

And as if a switch had been flipped, Tim's whole demeanor changed; he practically slouched on the chair and gone was that air of taunting and somberness. He lazily studied Damian for a moment before just sighing with fake disappointment.

“You were less annoying when you were just homicidal.” Despite his words, his tone wasn't really antagonistic. “And I bet you think you looked cool just now.”

Damian hid his amusement, finally abandoning his imitation a general in front of his army. “The fact that you think that's what I was trying to do, denotes that you indeed thought I was, as you said, 'cool'.” Tim just rolled his eyes and turned the chair going back to his work, looking like he didn't try some kind of strange test on Damian just a moment ago. “You shouldn't stay so late, you know how Pennyworth feels about that.”

“Mind your own business and go cuddle your sword or something. And you better not tell Alfred you saw me here.”

“I don't need to, he always knows.”

Considering how true that was, Tim's lack of retort was expected, unlike the whole exchange they just had, but psychological warfare aside, that had been one of their most civil conversations, so overall Damian was counting it as a win.

⪻Chapter 12

Chapter 14⪼

[clawsnoir]

alright, finally found some spare time to write about my favorite girl. let's talk about selina in the batman 2022 & what's driving her attraction to everyone's favorite emotionally repressed asshole vigilante.

under a cut, because this is going to get long - apologies in advance!

selina kyle is incredibly perceptive. this is an innate ability of hers, as well as a learned one. taking people/situations at face value can and will get you killed on the streets, to say nothing of the consequences that kind of naivety can bring when you're delicately navigating the criminal underworld the way that she is.

when she first meets Batman, she knows him by reputation only. he's a vigilante with a taste for vengeance - and while his biggest claim to fame is putting away a serial killer, he spends most of his nights pounding street level thugs into the concrete and throwing them in jail. selina, a street level drug dealer, is definitely aware of this fact and responds appropriately when confronted with him in person for the first time. she's startled, wary, then curious...and lastly, defiant, when he just stands there and continues to stare at her. she doesn't know what his deal is, and when it becomes clear that he's there looking into annika, she's less concerned about figuring it out and more worried about what exactly he's planning to do.

which isn't to say she isn't attracted to him - she's not as obviously affected as he is, but the pull is there.

their first contact in the mayor's mansion reveals quite a bit about him to selina. his unwillingness to hurt her, his surprising protective streak, and his unexpectedly naive assumptions about her motives. he's not the unfeeling monster he's painted himself as - and selina, who knows a thing or two about using disguise and theatre/performance as a means of survival, recognizes his damage as being similar to her own.

let's talk about the performance that is Batman. bruce is Batman is bruce, but he is not yet at a point where he has self-actualized and reconciled the two halves of his identity. this is important, because selina has yet to meet him as bruce; all she knows is the Batman.

the Batman has total control of his environment, he's highly logical and unaffected by emotion, he's powerful and authoritative, a dominating presence that strikes fear wherever he goes. (this is how bruce wants to be seen, and he's been successful thus far) selina is into that! like, I cannot stress how much she is into that, even as she enjoys poking fun at him for his stoicism. but she also can tell that it's a constructed persona, and the glimpses of the man beneath are intriguing to her.

there's also the outfit which, um...it's fetish gear. let's all be honest with ourselves, it's fetish gear. do not @ me with 'tactical this' and 'military that' because it is literally kink. shout out to zoë for confirming that selina thinks his entire getup is dead sexy and is part of why she's into him in the first place. freaky recognizes freaky, is what I'm saying lmao. his big bad bat persona is the perfect complement to her coquettish sex kitten.

so while selina is into the batsuit and the dark avenger thing bruce has going on, she's also curious about and drawn to the man inside of it. he's a dick towards her, no doubt about it, but it's never really /about/ her, it's about his own issues. selina knows this. she cuts him a lot of slack, but she also isn't afraid to stand up to him and cut him off when he oversteps her boundaries.

he's positioned himself as someone who's cleaning up Gotham's filth, looking out for the little guy, punishing evil...yet he's not really doing any of that effectively when they meet due to his tunnel vision methods. when she calls him out on his naive and limited worldview, she's trying to help him, to make him better.

& yes, part of why she falls so quick is due to how lonely she is. her affinity for strays says it all. is she perhaps a little too eager to trust him and throw her lot in with a virtual stranger, one she has never seen the face of? maybe. do bruce and selina have a history of falling in love at first sight and being each other's only exception when it comes to the walls they put up to keep others away? they sure do!

to steal from my fave @cityhalloween, selina wants batman to prove he's the man she thinks he is. a protector. the kind of man who uses his power and influence for good. the complete opposite of the men she's been surrounded by her entire life. is it a little unhealthy that she's more attracted to his potential than anything? a little bit, yeah, but who cares.

selina and bruce are very, very different; but inside they are one and the same. two broken kids playing animal dress up to distract from the pain, single-minded and solitary, coming to life in the dark where they feel free to be themselves. it's all about the recognition of the other, seeing parts of yourself in the beloved and loving them when you can't love yourself.

it's a genuine and pure connection. the relationship itself is um...not quite functional, as they both have a lot of character development to go through before they're fully realized versions of themselves, but the love is real and true.

[domino-waki]

taking catlad au and putting my own spin on it. technically making him worse than regular tim since he didn’t need a cat god to keep him alive.

 Basically, Jack Drake gets some illegal cat merch from an archeology dig, and Selina wants it. Tim does his tiny baby stalker thing, figures out who Cat Woman is, and breaks into the area the thing is being and waits for her. He tells her the deal, and I guess, not wanting to be cursed or whatever, she goes to return it. With a baby boy in her luggage.

Tim makes the offering to Cat God since it was his Dad who fucked it up, and Cat God is like “damn dude, nice, have a boon” but never tells them what it is. Tim does get some cat boy behavior, but Selina also does the same shit, so she figured the kid imprinted on her like a duck.

She keeps an eye on him for the next couple years. With his kind of absent parents, he bonds with her easy. She never planned to take him on heists, but he was a smart kid, and there were things he could help with. She wants shiny things, but she only uses the kid for his big fuckin brain, and never takes him out into danger. but she trains him for self defense. 

then Jason Todd dies, and Tim is like “hey mom, gotta go tell Dick Grayson to dress up like a watermelon again, Batman needs a Robin.” and Selina is like “YOU KNOW THEIR SECRET IDENTITIES???” and Tim is like “yeah? don’t you?” and I don’t know if she did at this point in the comics, but Catboy Tim becomes Robin and has a real crisis about helping Batman do the justice thing while having helped Selina steal shit. She only had him help her steal from real assholes, but still. crime.

Bruce is very suspicious about why Tim knows the layout of some buildings so well.

Tim doesn’t become catlad (Or Kitten as I’ve been calling him) until after he’s healed up after Jason gets his ass. Bats wont let him back as Robin, but Tim knows that Bruce needs an emotional support child in order to not be fucked up and evil. So if he play Robin, he’ll be the Kitten that funnels wayne enterprises money into many different charities and shit. He does a lot of robin hood ass crimes actually. He doesn’t take anything of personal value to people, and if he scoops up something nice from some asshole, he can pass it on to Mamma Cat.

and Bruce is just standing there like “am I really going to send my girlfriend *and* her son to prison? When He mostly steals from me and returns stolen artifacts to their rightful homes? and my girlfriend who is very hot?”

anyway that’s the Kitten Backstory bullshit I got.

oh yeah, and tim, now knowing he won’t die, puts himself in more danger. He’s going to give his cat mom a heart attack.

OH and he loves Helena so much, good sibling time on one half of the family.

OOC on probably everyone’s part? probably. am I having fun? oh yeah.

[iiingenious]

"Hehe. Aren't you just a good girl for Mummy~" Selina purred as she watched Tim enter her room. Locked in chastity, dressed in a perverted maid costume that barley covered anything. And a vibrator in his backside

His adopted step-mother, the wife of his adopted father Bruce Wayne, smirked at him as he approached. So proud of the training she had been giving him the past month

"Well.. I don't think there's anything else I can teach you, my baby girl." Selina purred "But if you want to take this further... If you want to be mine.... Here."

"Be my good, slutty, kitten~"

Send "Willing pet" for your muse to present mine a collar and leash, the sight making them beg to be taken as a pet

To say that Tim had been trained and conditioned by Selina, would be an understatement. Those results were present in the precious pink chastity cage she had locked him in, and some lingerie that gave the semblance of being her maid. So, when she calls, you can only imagine how fast he comes running.

Attentive as ever for Miss Kyle- or, Mommy, as she preferred sometimes, Tim finds himself coming to kneel before her, his gaze lifted, awaiting the next order. When offered her collar, dubbing him a kitten, to THE Catwoman, he was understandably overjoyed. As for the training, there was little he wouldn't do for Selina. Without any words, he lowers his head in a bow for her to put it on.