#adopt him

[sunny-aster]

They're such wildly different examples of what an emotionally tired person looks like

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Courtney: There, they’ll be dry in a little while-.. Robin won’t mind you borrowing those until then. You sure you don’t want a bath or something, honey? [Levi glanced at Courtney stiffly, shaking his head] Courtney: It must’ve been scary, huh? Levi: I guess. Courtney: I almost drowned when I was little too. Levi: Really? Courtney: Yeah, I think I was about your age-.. maybe a bit younger. Levi: What happened? Courtney: Well.. no one was really watching me properly and it was in the holidays, so it was busy; I kinda got smushed between a bunch of older kids and their rubber rings. Luckily the lifeguard noticed in time-.. she was nice, let me sit with her for a while. I didn’t go near that pool again for the whole summer. [Levi forced a polite smile lest he burst into tears at the thought-.. though after tonight’s events and Courtney’s story, he figured he wasn’t that weird to be terrified of drowning] Courtney: Why don’t you stay here tonight? It’s getting pretty late. Levi: You’d let me? Courtney: Sure! As long as your parents don’t mind. Levi: They won’t be back for ages and my phone broke-.. my sister should be home now though, I know that number. … Tiffany: Sure, whatever. Courtney: We’ll drop him off in the morning. Tiffany: ‘Kay. Courtney: Well, you’ve got this number if-… Tiffany: ‘Kay, bye. [Courtney swallowed a sigh, turning to face Levi with a smile] Levi: What’d she say? Courtney: It’s all good! You hungry? Levi: Uh, kinda.

[citrussam513]

I love Roblox png rp games

[stealingpotatoes]

My apologies, Lady Normal. But where does you Eunuch come from?

[lazyheartcomputer]

My cutie eater

my cutie patootie_(┐「ε:)_♥︎

[demonicsuffrage]

8 year old freshly adopted Dick, throwing the moths and flies he caught on Patrol directly at Bruce's face: I got you dinner!

Bruce, who was just bombarded with insects: Chum?!

Dick, smiling cheerfully: Bats eat insects!

Bruce:

Dick: I just read it in a book

Bruce:

Bruce: Bats also eat fruits and nectar

Dick: So you're a fruity bat?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, throwing an apple at him the next day: Dinner!

Bruce:

[carapaced]

how did we lose the plot so hard with feminism and activism like seriously�� are we forgetting that being kind and loving to the men and boys in your life, teaching them as kids if you are a parent to be kind respectful humans, and showing them how to be emotionally vulnerable and making a society in which it is safe to do so was like…. A huge part of feminism, dismantling patriarchal values, and creating a generation of loving men who are held accountable for their actions?

Why is it “kill all men yes even the trans ones and if you say otherwise you’re an MRA” and not “let’s maybe create a world that encourages good men.” Did we forget that feminism was supposed to be good for everyone and that the patriarchy harms men and boys as well?

Like maybe we should care about male loneliness and the male suicide rate BECAUSE MAYBE WED HAVE LESS SOCIETAL PROBLEMS if 100% of the population wasn’t traumatized by gendered expectations and not being taught decent communication skills/how to be emotionally vulnerable. And definitely we would if fucking redpill echo chambers weren’t the places most willing to accept and nurture (groom into hateful ideology) young men.

The problem has never been men, cis or trans, being uniquely capable of evil the problem has always been the fact that cishet patriarchal culture encourages and rewards shitty behavior that makes everyone involved bitter and miserable and calls it masculinity.

[lucius-i-ran]

crying screaming throwing up thrashing my head back and forth on the wall

i keep thinking of like. if luke ever knew about will’s plague powers. he would have dragged him away from camp kicking and screaming and chained him muzzled to the side of that fucking yacht. the speed at which he would become a weapon to lay waste to camp half-blood.

[fuckinnear]

everybody Must say hello to burger boy immediately

[morganbritton132]

It’s ladies night at the gay bar Eddie works at which means no men allowed, which means, ‘how the hell did this dork in a polo make it pass the bouncer and how the hell has no one complained about him yet?’

Eddie watches the admittedly gorgeous guy approach the bar and ask for a drink. Eddie responds with, “How did you get past Frank?”

“The bouncer?” Pretty boy asks. “Oh, I asked if I could come in.”

“You asked?”

“Yeah?”

“And he let you?”

“Yeahhh?”

“None of these girls are going to go for you,” Eddie tells him in case he somehow missed that this was the queerest bar in town. “They’re lesbians. They like women.”

“I know!” The guy - Steve, Eddie will find out later - smiles, bright and big. “Isn’t that great?!”

Something in Eddie curdles with disgust because, “Nice try, buddy. You’re not going to ‘turn’ a lesbian.”

“Hope not,” Steve laughs and then pulls a stack of Polaroids out of his pocket. “Look at this.”

He holds one out to Eddie, showing him the image of a girl looking done-as-shit with the camera in her face. There’s a phone number written at the bottom.

“This is Robin," Steve says fondly. “Shes my best friend, and a lesbian, and the best person I’ve ever met, and I love her…she deserves a girlfriend so I’m-“

“Advertising her?”

“Helping get her a date,” Steve finishes. “This will make a great story at their wedding.”

“That’s insane…and strangely endearing.”

“Yeah, I’m like that,” Steve says, sliding over a Polaroid of Robin giving the camera the bird. “That’s my phone number too. Just so you know.”

[confuzing]

Street kid Luo Binghe makes the mistake of letting some weirdo get a hold of him and finds himself locked up in a windowless room somewhere.

The only bright spot in this shit situation is that there's another boy in there with him. Shen Yuan is clearly in considerably worse shape than Luo Binghe and he says he's been here for a very long time. But he's so kind to Binghe and deliberately draws their captor's attention to himself (and away from Binghe) whenever he can.

He also, after Binghe's been there about a month, steals their captor's keys, unlocks the restraints they're both in, and then shoves Binghe out the boarded up window he's been prying open when he had time.

Shen Yuan is too big to fit through the window, he says. They both know that's not true but they can also both hear that their captor is coming-he must have noticed the keys were missing- and Shen Yuan intends to stall him while Binghe gets away.

Binghe promises to come back with help and SY just smiles and nods and shoos him away.

He runs as fast as he can, and once he's far enough away from the house he escaped from he starts asking for help- but no one is listening to him. And he knows if he goes to the local guard he'll probably be handed back over as a runaway slave... And then he sees two men who both seen almost to shine in the dirty city streets... they must be cultivators, they must. If anyone can help him now it will be them. So Luo Binghe throws himself at the taller of the two men and starts begging for help.

Shen Qingqiu is absolutely positive this kid is trying to lure them into an ambush, but Yue Qingyuan- who invited himself along on SQQ's mission without asking him- doesn't think so.

YQY goes with LBH, and SQQ follows, complaining that this is a trick the whole way- up until they discover that yes actually the local nobleman does have a secret room he's been imprisoning children in and there is indeed an almost beaten to death SY in there.

YQY sends SQQ off with SY- gotta get that kid medical attention ASAP- while he and LBH stay behind to Politely Ask Some Questions.

When YQY and LBH arrive back at the sect SY is still in the medical ward but isn't dying and is even awake! LBH is relieved and refuses to leave him again.

YQY fills SQQ in that not only were both boys not slaves, SY was actually the son of the nobleman's first wife she had as the result of an affair. He disappeared from the household around the time the first wife died and all the servants assumed their Lord had sold the boy or killed him outright.

But now that the nobleman has died a sudden and painful and extremely mysterious death it looks like SY has inherited the estate. YQY will have someone from An Ding go sort out the details since SY can't.

SQQ watches YQY smile at the little urchins they've rescued and talk in a way that obviously means he intends them to stay and says, internally 'Fuck no Qi-ge you don't get to replace me with a Shen you actually did manage to save. Absolutely not!'

Out loud the conversation goes:

SQQ: I want the older boy.

YQY: What?

SQQ: You intend for them to stay right? I want the older boy for Qing Jing Peak, you can keep the little one if you want.

YQY, pleased and assuming SQQ and SY must have bonded while he and LBH were away: Of course.

SQQ and SY have not bonded, and once they get back to QJ Peak things are tense. SQQ is low-key kinda jealous of SY and also reminded much too much of himself by the boy. Except he was never as naive and stupid as this kid is! Why is he so nice? How?? And the little shit isn't even afraid of him!

SY, deeply sarcastic: Oh nooo. I'm going to be beaten? Such a thing has never happened to me before! *Coughs because his throat is permanently messed up from being nearly strangled to death*

SQQ, aware that if he hits the kid now he loses: You're not allowed in the library for a week.

SY: What!

SQQ: The next words out of your mouth better be "yes Shizun, sorry Shizun" or it'll be two weeks.

SY: ...yes Shizun, sorry Shizun.

Meanwhile LBH and YQY are having a magical adventure in becoming a found family and are bonding over their obsessions with their respective Shens. They absolutely come visit QJ Peak at least twice a week much to SQQ's displeasure and SY's delight.

[prlssprfctn]

I love-love AUs, where Jason adopts a kid and conventionally forgets to mention it to others, but I think it would be funnier, if he adopted an animal, but his family instantly started to think that he hides a child, because, honestly, it is obvious that he will end up with one anytime soon—

Jason, snoozing on his alarm: Hey, sorry, I gotta go. Dick: It is okay. See you around! Jason: *leaves* Tim, whispering: So, I don't want to start a panic, but his alarm name was "feeding time". Bruce, slamming his hands against the table: Finally! This had happened! Jason adopted someone! Dick, no less excited: We won. I am an uncle!

Jason, while scrolling the kangaroo ass carriers on the internet: Hm-m. Alfred, creeping on from behind, very enthusiastic: I would recommend you this one, lad. Jason, shuddering: Jesus— Jason: Uhh. Jason, thinking that Alfred probably knows, so there is no need to over-explain: Hey, thanks, Alfie. Alfred: Anytime.

Bruce, feigning nonchalance: So, how is the baby? Jason, thinking that Alfred just told Bruce about the whole thing: Well, better than ever. Bruce: Good. Where had you found him, by the way? Jason: Her. It is a baby girl, Matilda... And, well, in Crime Alley. Bruce, sniffling, because a) Jason is so him; b) he is such a girl dad himself by the nature: That's beautiful, lad. Jason: Uh, yeah?

Tim: Come on, when are you going to bring Matilda to introduce us? Dick is not getting younger. Dick: Hey— Dick: But also, yeah! I am not getting any younger. Jason, confused: You all are kinda obsessed. Jason: Like, there is literally nothing special. If you want to pat a dog, go and pat Titus. Don't bother my girl. Everyone, dropping whatever they were doing: A DOG?!

[fairsweetlonging]

imagine an au where shen yuan transmigrates into a blank slate npc with very little system involvement, traveling around for a while until he's found by yue qingyuan and taken back to the sect because apparently shen qingqiu went missing around his transmigration period and shen yuan looks exactly like him, so it must be him, but then a few weeks later when he's just settled in on the peak and accepted his fate the real shen qingqiu shows up who was just on vacation and everyone forgot.

now there are two shen qingqiu's, one of whom is the real one and the other an amnesiac they gaslighted into believing he is shen qingqiu.

anyway—shen qingqiu has a new didi now!

[zhelin-thames]

Tiny baby ghost

idea from Prompt for @silverblueglitter

part 2 and 3 are out Masterpost

The summoning circle glowed an eerie green, casting sharp shadows around the Justice League's meeting chamber. John Constantine, sleeves rolled up and cigarette dangling from his lips, muttered the last words of the incantation. The room held a tense silence, broken only by the faint hum of the magical energy.

When the green smoke cleared, instead of the imposing figure of the Ghost King they’d expected, a scrawny teenager in a black jumpsuit with white gloves and boots appeared, looking distinctly unimpressed.

“Seriously?!” Danny Phantom groaned, throwing up his hands. “It’s a school night!”

The room collectively blinked. Superman and Wonder Woman exchanged confused glances. Batman’s eyes narrowed behind his cowl, while the Batkids—perched around the room like chaotic gargoyles—leaned forward, intrigued.

“This… is the Ghost King?” Nightwing asked, his voice skeptical but amused.

“Ghost King?” Danny repeated, holding up a hand. “Nope. Wrong guy. Try again.”

“Clearly, this is a child,” Robin said flatly, stepping forward with his arms crossed. “Either the summoning ritual failed, or we’ve been deceived.”

“Who are you calling a child, mini-Nightmare?” Danny shot back, floating an inch off the ground to look taller. “I’m fifteen. How old are you, eight?”

“I am fourteen, you insufferable spirit,” Robin snapped, glaring daggers at him. “And you are woefully unqualified to speak to me in such a tone.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay, Robin Junior. Let me know when you grow a sense of humor.”

Red Hood, perched casually on a table nearby, barked out a laugh. “I like this kid already.”

Robin scowled. “You would.”

Red Hood swung his legs off the table, standing to his full height. “Alright, Casper, if you’re not the Ghost King, why’d this ritual grab you instead?”

“That’s a great question! Wish I knew!” Danny said, throwing up his hands.

Constantine frowned, stepping closer. “You’re definitely ghostly, mate, and half-alive by the looks of you.” His sharp gaze softened just slightly. “You’re a bloody halfa.”

Danny froze, eyes darting to the swirling green barrier still holding him in the circle (not really). “I’m a ghost. And yeah, I’m alive. What’s it to you?”

Batman loomed closer, his deep voice cutting through the room. “If you’re not the Ghost King, why does this summoning work?”

“Great question! Wish I knew!” Danny threw up his arms again, his ectoplasm glowing faintly in frustration. “I don’t even know who you are, and you’ve already ruined my night! or Maybe the universe hates me. That’d explain a lot!”

“Who even made this circle?” Red Hood asked, pointing at Constantine. “Did you check it? It’s glowing green. That’s ghost vibes, man.”

“Thanks for the observation, Red Hood,” Constantine said dryly. “What gave it away, the ectoplasm or the ghost?”

“You are in no position to demand answers,” Batman growled.

“Oh my god, you’re worse than my parents,” Danny muttered.

Before Batman could respond, the air grew colder. A heavy, oppressive presence filled the room as green flames erupted in the middle of the chamber. From the flames stepped Pariah Dark, fully armored and radiating raw power, his glowing eyes zeroing in on Danny.

The League tensed, weapons at the ready, but Pariah didn’t even look at them. Instead, his expression softened in a way that could only be described as paternal as he reached out and plucked Danny out of the circle like a child grabbing a stuffed animal.

“Who dares summon my child?” Pariah rumbled, his deep voice shaking the room. He cradled Danny in one massive hand as though he were the most precious treasure in existence. Danny, for his part, just sighed and leaned against one of Pariah’s fingers.

“Dad, chill. They’re not trying to hurt me—” Danny shot a glare at Batman, “—yet.”

“‘Dad’?” Robin echoed, utterly baffled.

“They stressed him out,” Pariah continued as if Danny hadn’t spoken. “This is the third time in two weeks. Do you know how much sleep he’s lost? He has school!”

Pariah’s gaze darkened. “The third summoning this week,” he growled. “And for what? To disrupt his rest? His studies?”

“Studies?” Robin repeated incredulously. “This alleged ‘Ghost Prince’ is concerned with—”

“School,” Red Hood supplied helpfully, smirking. “That tracks. He’s just a kid.”

“I’M NOT JUST A KID!” Danny protested, his voice cracking slightly. Jason snorted.

Before anyone else could respond, Fright Knight materialized beside Pariah, his armor gleaming and his sword crackling with ghostly energy. He took one look at the summoning circle and grimaced.

“Shall I eliminate the offenders, my liege?” he asked Pariah, his grip tightening on his sword.

“No!” Danny yelped, waving his hands frantically. “No eliminating, no smiting! We talked about this, remember?”

Pariah sighed, his massive shoulders slumping. “They stressed you out,” he rumbled. “They should pay.”

“They’ll be fine,” Danny muttered. “Just… let me handle it, okay?”

“‘Fine,’ he says,” Red Hood muttered. “We’re seconds away from getting blasted into the afterlife.”

Robin's hand drifted toward his sword, his eyes darting between Pariah and Fright Knight. “This is absurd. We are the Justice League. Surely, we are not so easily—”

“Shut it, kid,” Consttantine interrupted. “Unless you want to test if we’re actually ‘fine.’”

Danny groaned. “Can we not do this right now?”

Wonder Woman stepped forward, her voice calm but firm. “We summoned you because we need the Ghost King’s aid to stop a catastrophic magical event threatening the world.”

“Then why not summon him?” Danny snapped. “I’m not the king!”

“Yet the ritual brought you,” Batman said, his voice a mix of curiosity and accusation.

Pariah’s gaze darkened. “The crown does not transfer unless challenged. And none shall dare challenge my son.”

Danny squirmed in his ghost-dad’s grip. “Okay, Dad, they get it. Can you not threaten to destroy the world for five minutes?”

Pariah huffed but gently set Danny down, though he remained close, a looming shadow of protective menace.

Constantine rubbed his temples, muttering something about “bloody teenagers” and “overprotective ghost tyrants.” Meanwhile, the Batkids exchanged glances, clearly plotting something.

Danny sighed. “Look, I’ll help you guys with your big, scary magical problem, but can we make it quick? I have a chem test tomorrow.”

[frownyalfred]

imagine you’re a young woman in Gotham set on revenge against your cheating ex boyfriend so you track down his expensive, souped up car to some club downtown and start beating the shit out of it with a baseball bat in the back alley. mid-process some guy comes up behind you and is like “nah don’t hit the windows, bodywork is way more expensive to repair” and starts giving you tips on how to destroy this man’s car in a way that will defy even the best insurance adjuster and luxury parts repair shop and when it’s all said and done and the stupid, expensive car is a broken piece of shit (just like the ex) you turn around. the man who’s been giving you advice is standing there, smoking, eyebrows slightly raised, very impressed. he’s kinda handsome, dressed up like he was in the club actually. you ask him if he works there. he snorts and says “something like that,” and heads back inside with a snarky two-fingered salute to you.

it turns out that man was Jason Todd, AKA Red Hood, current owner of the Iceberg Lounge.

[psychokatrixxxy]

Batfam AU

Damian was captured by some villain, and Dick just saved him.

Nightwing: Why didn't you send a distress signal? You could have gotten hurt. What if I didn't get here in time?

Robin: tt, stop your incessant nagging, Grayson. I can handle myself. Besides, I did send out a distress signal.

Nightwing: Really, cause I didn't get it, and neither did B.

Robin, realizing something: Ah, I believe I may have alerted someone else of my capture then...

Nightwing: who-

He's cut off as a red figure barrels through the window, shattering it.

Red Hood, guns cocked as he looks around the room: Who the fuck do I need to kill?

Robin, deadpan: Impeccable timing as always, Akhi.