#and I ask the never asked question: do their younger siblings want their fucking problems being placed in them?

[amethysttribble]

Yeah I just figured out why I hate the term Eldest Daughter Syndrome as used commonly on the internet in general, but specifically in fandom-

It’s because it’s always bestowed as a badge of honor, meant to make someone seem meow meow blorbo-able, but the person I know best who actually fucking suffered for that phenomenon didn’t become slightly uwu anxious or a soft people pleaser or the most kind child caretaker ever or so #relatable tired

It made her a cunt

[mamayan]

Yandere! Dark Fae King x Darling! Changeling (Part 2)

Part 1 (Here)

cw: NSFW • Sub! Reader • Dom! Yandere • Dark/Yandere Themes • Gore/Death • Monster Fucking • Fae • Kidnapping/Imprisonment • Dubcon • Fem! Darling • Dumbification • Praise • Overstimulation • Pheromone Drugging/Aphrodisiac • Manipulation • Breeding

A/N: Upon multiple requests and asks, I’ve decided to expand and make a part 2 for Avarice and Darling’s story. Enjoy♥️

“Freak!”

“You should be ashamed to be alive! When your own sister died, how dare you appear here!”

“Jinx.”

“I hope you die worse than she. Poor soul…”

You snapped out of it when he finally left again. The nightmares of your past seemingly haunting you as the death of so many rested on your shoulders.

Your fault. It was always your fault, wasn’t it? That’s what you were after all. A jinx.

Ava… he haunted you more than anything. His eyes so dull as of late but you couldn’t find it in yourself to assure him of forgiveness you did not want to give. You’d said horrible things to him though, when he’d confessed to killing your entire village due to your pressuring. He killed your family, or at least, the only family you knew. He killed the women and children, the old and innocent. Ava had no discretion when it came to slaughtering humans.

“Of course I love you! You’re my little sister, why are you asking me such a silly question so late?” Your human sister had looked so befuddled when you’d questioned her love for you. It must’ve been a rebellious phase, for she raised you and your younger human siblings much like a mother should’ve. The mother which birthed your siblings and the child swapped for you had lost herself to alcohol and gambling, her husband and your father too loyal to leave her despite the pit she began to dig for the entire family.

Your fault.

“Come eat. This sickness of her’s seems to be affecting us all. Father shall return with a fresh kill, I’ll make a stew. You like deer stew right?” You hated it but nodded anyway, your sister’s cooking so awful it even made your father’s eyes water but… “I do. I love it… and I love you too.” You’d replied, and it was the warmest moment you remember in that small wooden house.

You’d picked your nail beds bloody, eyes numbly staring at the broken skin and wondering why it wasn’t telling you the right answer. What were you supposed to do? You couldn’t leave, even if you wanted to, and that was the problem. You didn’t want to leave Ava, because aside from your deceased sister, he was the closest living creature to your heart. He owned part of your soul now too, but you could feel him in you too. It wasn’t one sided, and while Ava certainly was full of cruelty, you knew him capable of care. He cared for you, his people and subjects, and his kingdom.

So why did he do it? Harm so many? Oddest of all, why did he abhor humans to much? He wouldn’t answer anything you asked, merely stating it was a necessity, that they needed to die, or be cleansed as he’d phrased it. You had loved a human dearly though, her memory still filling you with the familiar taste of warmth and overcooked venison. She was not a sister by blood but through life and trust.

Would Ava have killed her too?

You could only wonder endless dark halls of a castle you never saw an exit to. The windows revealing what appeared to be an entire kingdom below, built into a forest much like in tales of your childhood. This was a community, one which you now shared responsibility to help grow and flourish.

You didn’t feel like you were home though.

“Look at me.”

He’s impossible to ignore.

“I will force you if I must.”

You turn, giving the barest of glances upward, head forced to tilt completely back to meet his dark golden eyes. He, in all his immortal and frightening glory, looks tired. You admit it makes something within you ache to see it, but you aren’t ignorant to the fact that you look tired as well.

“You are not sorry at all… are you?” His lips press tight, eyes narrowing a fraction as he cocks his head, a few dark curls spilling like waves to follow the movement. He stalks closer like a predator, and even now, when you know he intends no physical harm to you, it raises your instincts to run. His towering form lowers to the floor where you’ve seated yourself, endless marble surrounding you in an empty ball room, the enormous glass window you’ve opened allowing fresh air in.

“Do you wish me to apologize for eliminating those vile creatures… or for upsetting you?” He cracks a rueful smile, teeth all sharp edges and eyes hardened by your distance. “If it is the latter little flower, then I sincerely am apologetic, I never wished to upset you.” You can tell he’s sincere, see it even, but something still nagged at you that wouldn’t leave.

“Ava…” his full attention is trained on you, “Why do you hate them? What did they do to you?”

His wings shift as he settles himself fully on the ground with you. An image unbefitting of a King yet also suiting him as he leans back on his palms and directs his gaze at the tall ceiling above.

You liked the sight of moonlight bathing him more than candle.

“I thought I loved a human once.”

You flinch, despite knowing it must’ve been so long ago, it stung nevertheless. He twitches, as if to move towards you before he stops himself and settles again, talons scraping along the floor as he continues.

“That human used my youth and ignorance against me and destroyed my entire existence for a time. I lost my position as a rightful heir and prince, lost my home and family, and lost my freedom. I stayed alone a very long time little Faery,” his gaze slides to you, glowing molten gold in rage as he remembers. “All alone, because I did the one thing no Faery is allowed to do, the most forbidden art which exists amongst our kind, all for one measly deceitful human.” His lips pull back in a grimace, even as you crawl a little closer.

He likes that your gaze is upon him again, filled with that familiar compassion and empathy he adores. He just loathes it is directed at him because of his disgusting past.

He watches as your tongue dips out to lick your lips, eyes filled with curiosity as you sit beside him, close enough to nearly touch yet not quite.

“What was it?”

“I granted them access to the Tree of Life. The tree which gave birth to all Faery kind.” His expression turns mocking, jaded as he seems to recall with perfect memory. “I had been ready to pluck the stars from the sky for that filthy ungrateful thing, and they dared to use me to gain eternal life by drinking from the tree’s fountain.”

He sees the look of astonishment and horror, clearly upset as realization dawns. It was said the Tree of Life would die if touched by human hands, destroying all of Faery kind should it occur. If it was true or not was unknown.

“…they touched it…?” You broke the dense silence first, curling your limbs around yourself as you feel the itch of your wings notify you of the awkward arch you’ve made with your spine.

Ava barks a dry laugh, dark amusement sparking in his eyes despite the serious story.

“Of course not little flower. My younger sister killed them before they could dare, becoming a hero for all Faery alike for protecting the race against a treacherous prince and a foul greedy human.”

He’s amuses himself with watching you through a small handheld mirror. Decorated in gold and jewels, the delicate ornate trinket has a spell cast to view his target at will.

You were asleep, tired from the seamstresses which had fussed so long over your dresses and you, face peaceful as you rest on the large expanse of his bed.

You sleep where he awoke this morning. Curled into the spot like you’re attempting to reclaim any warmth left over from his own slumber.

“You’re making quite a disgusting face, your majesty~” his eyes narrow as his mood sours in an instant.

“Leave witch.” He hisses, undisguised displeasure painting his sharp features as they scrunch in revolution.

“Make me faery,” a lithe feminine voice hisses back, his eyes finally lifting to acknowledge the vermillion haired woman which had appeared before him. “What has you making such a warm expression? I nearly lost my breakfast seeing it.” She glides more than walks, shamelessly spreading the floor length fur coat wrapped around her open, sitting on the arm chair of his throne.

“And your presence is going to make me gouge your eyes out and feed them to my hounds,” he flashes an equally unfriendly smile, the air becoming volatile towards the witch.

“Don’t act as if I wish to be here anymore than you wish it. You were the one who requested my potion.”

“Your potion not your presence.”

Dark eyes roll with a flutter, her red painted lip curling in disdain as she snaps her fingers, a small wooden box appearing in her palm.

“It cannot be delivered frivolously faery, or so you trust your servants so deeply?” He doesn’t answer.

She laughs, handing the box over with a smile as he pulls out a silver dagger and plunges it into his forearm.

Gold leaks from the wound, the witch quickly frowning and removing an empty vial to collect the liquid.

“Don’t be wasteful now, your blood is in high demand amongst my coven. It’s an incredibly binding agent.”

“Silence or I will bind your tongue for all eternity.”

“As if you could.” She cackles, vanished and gone before his talons could sink into her throat.

The box rests in his free hand. His distaste for the witches strong, but he admits they create the most potent and stable magical concoctions. They’re good in business too. He notes she didn’t allow a single drop of blood to go to waste before his wound sealed and closed.

“Drink for me, petal.”

You look lovely. Dressed lavishly in the finest silks and slowly becoming more confident in your true appearance. You no longer sit before the mirror and grimace, instead you play absently with your wings, more accepting as time continues.

He would rather just take you by force.

This method somewhat feeling beneath him, but in the end, he was already a wicked monster. What was this compared to his true nature?

You still curl or turn away when he touches you, less trusting of him now and though you should be, he finds it irritating. He wants to feel you melt against him again, blink your pretty eyes up at him and whisper his name with your kiss bitten lips.

You eye the delicate glass cup warily.

His clawed hand holding the pretty pink clear cup was nearly comical. He could tell by the quirk of your lip which you quickly tempered to avoid his detection. He caught it all though, still hoping he’s not forced to make you drink it. Though he doesn’t mind the act, pouring the drink in his mouth and laying his lips over your own to create a seal.

You take the cup gingerly with both hands, licking your lips as you bring it close to sniff.

“What is it…?” You look confused, nose scrunching up adorably, and he finds he wishes to kiss you there.

He’s forced to stay where he is though, aware you will wiggle and run if he touches you.

“Tea, made from milk, honey, and dried fruits.”

“It smells sweet…” you still eye him with mistrust, but you take a sip anyway, eyes lighting up as you take another. “It’s very good,” you’re not immune to bribery, “Thank you.”

For just a short moment, he feels his chest warm and a genuine smile grace his lips.

“You’re welcome, little flower. Thank you as well.”

“Huh?” You’ve finished the tea. “What for…?” His smile grows as you tilt your head in confusion.

“For being so foolish.”

You’re burning from the inside out. Tears and drool soaking your face and the bed as you cry out again.

“Why?” Digging your nails into the fabric, you find the texture appalling compared to usual, too rough and cold. “Ava…” you struggle to breathe, chest heaving as perspiration clings to you like a second skin. “It hurts…” you were fading into a blur of dizziness as your lower belly cramped again, more wetness coating your inner thighs.

“Shh…” he coos, ignoring your weak flinch as he slides his long tongue from your chin to your cheek, drinking your tears as his chest rumbles like a giant cat. “Do you need something sweet girl? Use your words.” He murmurs, groaning as he sees the amount of fluid you’ve leaked, your pussy swollen and glistening as you buck your hips and whine.

“Mean—!” He chuckles at your accusation, smiling shamelessly as he continues his chaste kisses against your skin.

“To you, petal? No, mean would be if I left you like this, no release for your poor little body.” He threatens, ignoring your silent pleas and body language for him to touch you more, keeping just enough distance to have you clawing at him to come back. “I’m nice though, I’m going to kindly fill your womb and make it all better.” It’s like a demon whispering in your ear as you writhe beneath him. His large frame cages you though, presses down on you as your bare chests connect and you can feel the thundering in his rib cage through your own. “Are you going to be good and let me breed you, little feary?”

You can’t think. Not when the promise of something hot and big going inside you, stretching you out like your body is begging for now. You nod, mind already gone as your clouded eyes connect with his own. You look high, pupils blown as he brings two fingers to his lips, opening his mouth and breaking off two of his sharp claws to blunt them.

“Spread your legs.” You obey, pliant body opening at his commands as he uses his fingers to dig into your slick gooey hole. He delights in your moans and reactions, hips moving for more friction as he fucks your tight entrance loose enough to take his cock inside you. “That’s it, petal, you don’t need to think anymore. Let go for me,” he murmurs, kissing you gently, tongue melting into your mouth while he digs his fingers up and rubs until you’re coming around his digits.

He pulls them out slowly, eyes drifting down to catch the sticky wet mess you’ve made and the jump of his cock in response. He laughs, deeply to his core as he brings them to his lips and lets you watch him clean them, blissed out expression marred with tears from pleasure and pain.

“You’re mine. For eternity, you will be always be mine.” His eyes are wild, something frightening entering them as he laughs, face so pleased and enamored you feel the urgent sense to crawl away from him, to run. “There is no escaping me. No where you can go that I won’t find you.” You feel too weak and sluggish to move, to even fight back, as his dark hand wraps around your neck, magic and gold swimming beneath his flesh. He feels warm, hotter than even you and your feverish mind. “I am no longer a patient a male, no longer content to wait and watch for results. You deny me, your mate, for humans which wanted to sacrifice you to a false deity, planned to rape and defile you,” he’s squeezing tighter, not cutting off air but blood flow instead as your mind becomes fluffy and unfocused. He speaks directly into your ear, the pointed tip curling down as he settles himself between your thighs. “They wanted to burn you, did you know? They called you a jinx, hated you, only wished you harm and destruction in the most vile and painful ways… and yet you still choose them?” He looks mad, smile filled with malicious intent and eyes glittering like jewels.

You speak with what little focus you have left…

“My sister…loved me.”

His smile falls, eyes narrowing in displeasure.

“Always…she loved me.”

He shakes his head, disapproval clear. “You think she loved you. Humans aren’t capable of love, my sweet flower.”

“You’re wrong…” he halts, watching as you weakly claw at his hold on your neck. “She loved me..! I know she did! You’re wrong! Take it back!” You cough as he releases your throat completely, eyes wide as you look at him with burning resentment even so deep under the influence of an aphrodisiac.

“I love you, but you,” you look filled with hurt, “you don’t love me.”

He’s shocked into silence as you seethe beneath him, face firm and eyes resolute as you declare his feelings for you.

He snarls, snapping his teeth at you, rage filling him as his wings spread out and magic and malice fill the air.

“I am not afraid to punish you, petal. I will not tolerate disrespect—,”

“Neither will I!” Even in tears, shaking as you are, he shifts back, the overwhelming force of your emotions startling him. “You treat me as if I am not worthy of respect, as if I’m not worthy to be listened to. You aren’t—,” you heave for air, struggling to draw in enough oxygen as you whirl on him, “—asking me. For anything. You just take…”

He’s silent, body frozen and tense as he watches you.

“Was it all a lie… when you said you’d be my friend? I thought faery couldn’t lie,” you’re in tears once more, sorrow endlessly streaming down your cheeks.

“No, don’t cry like that,” he feels oddly sick seeing you so upset like this. His frame once more curling around you, but to simply wrap you in the blanket and bring you to his chest. “We are friends, mates, I do not lie.” He whispers, cradling your body to his chest, trying to urge you to look at him.

“Friends don’t sneak away and do things that they know I wouldn’t like,” you calm after a while, swollen tear streaked face turned into his chest while he pets your hair.

He knows it must be painful, still under the effects of the drug he’d given you. His touch helping ease some of the heat.

“Okay. Okay, I was wrong, I…,” his teeth bare as he forces it past his lips, “I apologize…for not respecting your wishes…,” it makes him want to tear one of his hearts out and crush it. His hatred for humans no less despite his apology.

You look hopeful though, eyes returning some of the light he adores within you.

He’ll apologize everyday if he’s allowed to see that.

“Oh gods…!”

He’s trying to kill you. He must be.

You can’t struggle away though, no escape in sight, and true to his word Ava has filled your womb over and over again. You’re delirious on the pleasure, the second his heavy cock had entered you the earlier burning pain subsided into mind numbing euphoria. Each powerful snap of his hips has your body jolting upward, one large palm wrapped around your neck keeping you anchored. You could feel every vein and inch searing into you, eyes going in and out of focus on him face as he heaves for air and fucks you into another orgasm.

“Please, more, I need more—!” You’re reduced to a tearful mess, wantonly begging for his seed as he grimaces and fills you up again, balls drawing up tight as your cunt ripples around his length.

His face is ruined, eyes more red than gold as his pupils remain blown out, thick lashes holding a small cluster of tears as he licks his lips and continues his ravenous pace inside you. His hair clings to his face and horns, black curls damp with sweat and your cum, taking on a nearly purple hue. He wears a delirious expression like you, drugged out into oblivion as you both pant and moan as the heat devours you.

He’d felt badly for drugging you, especially as you writhed and cried in pain. His solution had not been to find the witch he’d bought the elixir from though.

He’d simply drank the remaining fluid while smiling mischievously.

“Let’s just fall into complete depravity petal,” he’d said, before your world went in and out of darkness. Only the scent of sugar and spices dominated your brain, and the feeling of fullness and completion each time he spilled his load within you.

“Are you ready for another sweet faery?” He knew you couldn’t answer, knew that words were too far away for your cotton filled mind to conjure. He asks anyway, drawing your hips off the bed, leaving your upper body limp on the soaked silks while he bounces you on and off his cock. “I’ve always known it is hard for Fae to conceive.” He speaks with a slur, as if it is liquor intoxicating him and not a lustful spell. He laughs as you cum around him, moan so breathy it appears like a silent scream as your back arches higher. “I have a good feeling it will not apply to us.” He nods, slamming down to the hilt as he collapses on you while he comes too, nose buried in your collar bone as he humps out his remaining seed and presses deep to ensure it stays.

“I think your little cunt likes being bred, gripping me so tightly so I can’t leave it,” he huffs, breathing labored as he sees you’ve lost consciousness again.

“Looks who’s mean now…” he murmurs tiredly, but his smile is fresh as he licks up your sweat and tears, cock already hardening again as blood swims in his ears like a river.

“I can’t anymore—!” It’s a squeal and a whine mixed, as Ava grunts against your throat.

“Can’t what, petal?” He asks rhetorically, humming as he slowly rolls your hardened nipple between two clawed fingers. His free hand between your legs, messily rubbing your clit as he works his cock inside you. His thrusts are no longer as violent or heavy as they were two days prior when he’d taken the drug, but his body still howled to press you flat and fill you up. To mark his mate up for all to see.

You look divine to him, too weary to even bite him anymore, nails broken from scratching at his back and arms when he’d blacked out and taken you too roughly. Even still, you looked beautiful, skin less sweat soaked and more simply damp, his care to ensure you drank water paying off in between rounds of riding him.

“I think your cunt has finally relaxed,” he teases, enjoying the sloppy squelching which echoes as he drives into you, your pussy indeed finally accepting it’s fate to be subjected to his cock for eternity. “Your womb has dropped too,” his hand stops torturing your clit to press on your lower belly, purring as you weakly complain.

“Let me rest…”

“No. I took the drug later than you, so it’s still in effect for me.” He chuckles, merrily still using your exhausted body. “Just a little more sweet girl, be good for me,” he moans, head falling back as his eyes close in bliss, cock twitching once again to fill you up.

“I truly am…with child?” His eyes are as wide as your own, cradling you close away from the vermillion haired woman who sneers at Ava.

Rolling her eyes, she nods, fingers pressed to her temples as if her mind is aching.

“Yes. You are with child, as I’ve confirmed four times already. Congratulations little Queen, you managed to love the unlovable.”

“Watch your tone and words witch,”

“My race is not an insult you foul monster—!”

They halt as you giggle, features radiant as you smile and hold your hands over your belly.

“A baby!” Ava is stricken at your delight, throat closing as something sweet tickles him inside. Your floral scent warmer these days, his keen hearing picking up on the second beating of a heart quickly.

“Yes,” he nods, like a love sick dog he grins and answers each time your repeat it in amazement.

The witch truly feels revolted to her core, but wordlessly leaves a book for new faery parents. Leaving without thanks as the happy family gushes over the good news.

As if the disgusting King didn’t know how powerful an aphrodisiac and fertility drug he used on his mate was.

She shrugs, teleporting away to her coven to return to work, minutely pitying the poor faery captured by the dark Fae.

They’re the only fae that can lie after all.

Dividers/@cafekistune

[deaddovedecadence]

hello ! I hope you’re well I wanted to ask you if are planning to do something about the platonic batfamily ? Thank you for your work, you’re literally my favorite blog 🥰. (sorry if there are spelling mistakes)

Ah thank you for the question i love it so much! What we’re doing today is breaking down each yandere and how they treat you in order

Alfred: very gentle, very caring. He makes you think that he’s on your side only to betray you if you ever try to run away. His loyalty is to the health and well being of the family and if you left it would nasty for all parties involved. He isn’t overly possessive, and is the most likely to let you out and about (so long as you’re with him or another trusted member of the family)

Bruce: At least you were a tool for making up with his son, but he grew to see you as his own child. You’re younger then Dick so he treats you as such, and is very unlikely to let you out of his grip,/let you out of the house because he’s paranoid. He’s the ultimate possessive yandere, wanting to keep you safe in the house at all times. He’s like this with his children too but because they’re fighters/have proven themselves it’s a lot different

Dick: Good luck with this. Dick sees you as someone who deserves childhood, who deserves to be young, so he treats you younger then you actually are. He’s very possessive, and almost doesn’t realize that you’re capable of taking care of yourself and he’s ver y smothering because of that. He’s the type of yandere to be in his own world and not really see. things as they actually are..

Jason: Caretaker to the fucking MAX. He likes. taking care of people and things that he considers his and you are absolutely one of those things to him. He needs to tak3 of things because it makes him feel real, feel. focused again especially when he’s tired of angry. The least likely to ever hurt you but will break you mentally if he has to.

Cass: does not get it, at first. She doesn’t understand why her family wants something that she perceives as helpless as one of them. Cass is all about getting her shit done and you interfere with that. It isn’t until she sees Jason visibly relax around you and stay in the same room as bruce that she understands. You keep things stable which means that you need to stay. She‘ s obsessively, can be cruel and uses physical punishment like forced dancing or sparring to keep you in check if you leave or deny your place in the family.

Tim: Oh good fuck. Tim is pretty close to yandere in canon, he’s terrifying, possessive of what he thinks is his and cruel as hell. with you he’s cruel cold, only to turn gentle when he deems it the right moment. Tim wants to break you because that means that you won’t run away and try to go and be somewhere else (with someone else). Tim is sadiastic and if he and damian are working together it’s best to go and beg jason for sanctuary from them.

Duke: Honeslty you aren’t sure whether he’s like you or like them at first because Duke is so easy doing, listens to your problems so well and makes. you feel like you’r valid for being angry. It’s all true what he says, it’s just that he also is on his family’s side about you and is slowly working his way into your heart in a way that the others can’t because they’ve never been where you (and he) has. Duke is the gentle yandere unless you really manage to make him angry by getting hurt in any way.

Damian: I wish you the best of luck. Damian is the son of thalia and bruce. His ver y nature is to be possessive over anything that he considers his and you are his. You’re his older sibling in a way that Dick is, someone to be trusted, someone to ask questions too, but that does not mean he’ll let you escape. If anything the thought makes him infuriated and he’s likely to blow up. Damian is obsessive, and sadistic, willing to do anything if it means that you’re safe at home with him.

[summermimosas]

Itoshi Brothers: U20 Edition

Part 1 to this is here! I explain my basic idealogy for Rin here, so it might be better if you that one first.

The basic tldr is: Rin doesn't see himself as an individual at all, and he doesn't seem to realise it. It's why Sae is pissed and as rude as he is, and it's why Rin feels like he's restricted.

He can be as annoyed about the "Itoshi Sae's little brother" label as he wants, but he hasn't realised he fosters it unconsciously.

Once again, this part is very very nicely covered in @/riririnnnn's post. Please go read their theories linked in Part 1 too!! And the source of this creative bug was @/boinin's work for Rin's Aura-also linked in Part 1.

This is when the realisation finally happens. He realises that he's being shadowed by Isagi constantly, watched, judged, all on the basis of what people expect of him. Of what he's imposed on himself.

And then there's this infamous panel.

No, he's not alone. And it's entirely the reason he feels as restricted as he is. Not because he's not alone- but because the second he feels like he isn't, he starts adapting those labels into himself. He needs to be Itoshi Rin if he wants to develop an ego of his own.

Everyone clap really loudly, okay- really really loudly. This man spends his entire life studying and emulating Sae and it takes him an entire year to realise that he's been doing it and see the problem in it.

Dumbass. Why am I analysing him again?

And this is what triggers his flow state. One of the craziest ones we've seen- why? Not as a flow state separately, no, but because this is what Rin is at this point in time. He may evolve, become a different person at whatever time, but at this point he's keen on finding a sense of self that isn't in relation to anyone else. Note how after the flow state- and the brutal comment Sae makes- he goes right back to "Crushing Sae Itoshi, but destroy Isagi Yoichi first". But now he's still in flow- a true, completely disconnected version of himself that is only influenced by his own thought process.

And Sae, of course, knows. I mean- it makes sense right? He's the only one who's seen Rin before he started playing football, before he became Itoshi Sae's little brother. When he really was just, Itoshi Rin.

At this point, however, he's still focusing on completely destroying expectations. An antithesis of everything he used to be called, everything he used to be. So his aura shifts to directly contradicting Sae's- it is still not his own.

This is why the unusual water theme comes in so late. It is Rin's, of course it is, but until the NEL/end of U20 he never knew of himself.

I will be skipping over the absolute trainwreck that is the ending of U20- you get it. Sae acknowledges Isagi, affirms just about every single one of Rin's insecurities, and this time repeat cycle. Destroy the target of Sae's attention, Isagi himself.

You know what the most interesting part of this all is? AFTER ALL THIS. He's learned so much, he's grown so much. Don't get me wrong, this younger sibling is learning to be his own person.

But. Then you see him in the current NEL Arc.

This fucking idiot- I mean. Ahem.

He's still thinking in terms of other people. Of course, now he's learned to separate himself from the equation, thankfully. But he's still not playing for himself. He's not "Itoshi Sae's little brother" anymore, he's the one who will "surpass Itoshi Sae and destroy Isagi".

Nagi asks the very good question of, what comes after that? Rin is no longer someone's shadow, but still thinks in terms of surpassing them, much like Nagi used to think before the Manshine vs BM Match. And this absolute nutcase. Replies.

You know, he's a stupid guy, but atleast he's honest about his thoughts. Makes it easier for me to analyse him, unlike his emotionally constipated brother.

He's describing it as a baby just born- fitting, because he's trying to find his footing after being label after label in someone else's story. Not that he was doing it intentionally, but it had become subconscious. He hasn't thought about the future, at all, because he can barely understand what he's doing now.

"Number 1? I don't care about that. What I care about is destroying you, Isagi." Well, I've rambled long enough. You get my point now. He's learning!! Like a baby bird learning to fly, very slowly. Hence the newly present water aura. This will become so much more interesting when we learn what happened to Sae in Spain, and if Rin finds out? Well. Maybe we can finally get the resolution I need them to have.

Because, god forbid they have another miscommunication. I will actually lose my mind.

But also, I'm someone who understands Rin on a really deep level because I've had similar experiences with mirroring an older sibling because I had nobody else to turn to for a role model or admire. And I tend to think of myself in terms of other people, too. So this analysis was something that came really naturally to me. I hope it was worth your time.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕊𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hello, I hope you are having a good day. She wanted to ask for some platonic headcanons for the demon siblings and how they would react if they saw her sister (who is the 8th) defend the brother in question over some harmful comments another demon said to them. She is very protective and doesn't let anyone speak badly about her brothers > :).

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *inhales* FINALLY CHILD READER WITH OM OMG I LOVE IT SM

Anyway~ hello! I did one-shot format because I felt like headcanons would turn out too repeative... I'm still not sure about it but hopefully it's alright!

I didn't do much dialogues because I really can't write fights well... but maybe one day!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ platonic, TW: swearing, fights, homophobia in Asmo's part

"Who does he think he is?!"

You heard some lesser demon complaining at Lucifer behind his back just because he confiscated their phones for breaking school rules. They were at fault for recording what they shouldn't!

"That fuck is probably jealous you have a girlfriend and he never even touched one."

That was so basic and yet it triggered you so much. You knew you shouldn't even bother after hearing such a low level insult but it was still an insult towards your older brother!!

You turned around to them, coming closer. They were definitely having small chuckle when they saw a teenager walking to towards adults like that. But oh boy... how you could insult others... you were even about to throw hands!

"That's enough!"

Suddenly you heard familiar voice behind you and hand separating you from other demons. It was the oldest of your brothers. He sent the lesser demons out and told them he'll set a punishment for their actions later as he deals with you first. He just looked at you slightly disappointed as he held end of his nose.

"Why did you throw hands at such a troublemakers? We talked about it, if someone brings you troubles just talk to me and I'll handle it."

"But they were insulting you!"

"And I could've dealt with it myself."

He may've said that and may've upset you a bit but deep inside his heart actually melted. He felt a bit happy that you'd want to protect his honor despite being so much younger. Of course, he'll never let that happen as he doesn't want to risk your health and life but it definitely made his day and you may know that from the fact he didn't punished anyone as roughly as usually.

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"He's literally so dumb! I can't believe he asked me for money while everyone knows he's NEVER gonna give it back!"

You overheard some demons starting a talk the second after your 2nd oldest brother left the room. When they were talking to him they so respectfully said no and that they don't have anything on them either way... but demons are cruel and you knew it.

So you being you, couldn't just let them get away with that. Maybe you were a long shorter but you WERE good at throwing! And it was just you and them in the classroom... classroom with singular chairs instead of benches... your plan was simple. And you did it without hesitation.

"Don't you insult my brother like that!!"

The two demons were a bit shocked. None of you noticed when the white haired demon came back after realizing he accidentally left you behind...

"Yo, that was great! Glad to see you won't have problems with fights!"

"I can throw one more!"

"Nah... let's go... I still have some savings so we can get some sweets, whatcha say?"

He tries shifting your attention to something else with poor excise but it worked! Or maybe he wanted to thank you for standing up for him? Not many do that after all...

"Oh sure!"

"Let's go. Oh and if Lucifer asks... just tell him it was me who threw a chair, 'key?"

"But-"

"I'll get you extra sweets, c'mon!"

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You were bored at a school party. It was still quite early and you just texted on family group chat a bit. You basically we're giving Levi some tips, as despite with Asmo in his room, he wasn't confident enough with himself to go. But eventually, they texted you they're coming over!

"You think that otaku is coming?"

Your attention was catched by some chat between 2 demons. They were talking about otaku... maybe it was your little protectiveness but you decided to eavesdrop for just a bit. There is small chance they're talking about someone else, right?

"He's probably kissing with his screen like always. Honestly, isn't Avatar of Envy supposed to be more scary rather than petite?"

But they were definitely talking about your brother... So you got up from your seat and you were ready to get into the argument. You couldn't let your brother get insult like that! And luckily for you, you just happened to remember few gossips and punishments they got through and used it to your advantage~

But when you were in the middle of an argument, 2 demons being your brothers entered. One looking stressed and second looking proudly at you.

Levi may've not wanted to say anything like that in the public but boy's heart melted on spot and he tried hiding his little teats of happiness. He was just so glad to have someone protect him like that and now you may not need a password to enter his room!

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"I heard the 4th brother destroyed whole classroom yesterday."

"Seriously?! Is that motherfucker why they changed our lessons to the worst classroom ever?!"

You knew you shouldn't interact. Oldest repeated to you to not be bothered by such a simple words. But 4th and 7th on the other hand... you just felt the need to protect your brothers honor. It was him who teached you all about self defense, so you might as well use it to repair him for those lessons!

You were actually pretty good, grown up demon was actually loosing with a teenager?! You could easily say it was pissing him off but you had your fun~ And when the demon was about to punch you back, his hand was blocked by someone else's.

"Don't. You. Dare. Touch them."

You saw the rage in Satan's eyes when he stood there in his demon form. And they said you're protective of brothers!

Obviously, the demon who started all of it quickly took his leave. Seems like he's just all bark and no bite... And now your brother was looking at you with proud grin as he ruffled your hair.

"I see you remembered my lessons. But you seemed to not see the punch. I'll teach you some more later, alright? And good job there."

He knew well why you initiated a fight and he would normally rub it in Lucifer's face that you stood up for him and for the oldest never so far, but he doesn't want to cause you troubles. Instead he left it as your sweet secret!

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@miya-akane - come get your cat lover!

"That girl is hot."

"Bro, that's a dude."

You overheard someone pointing at Asmo. You weren't mad ar all, mistakes happen!

"Ew! So he's crossdressing?! What is he, gay?! I'm not coming closer to whatever this thing is!"

But... homophobia is something that always pissed you off. Couldn't he just be like "oh well I'm not interested" instead of insulting? It's not like your brother did anything wrong to him! He was just himself!

So or course you stood up from your chair and walked to them. Keeping your voice calm tho with a malicious remark and tone. You didn't wanted to fight physically but you were more than happy to give them a taste of their own medicine.

Of course the demons didn't even took you seriously, blaming things on your age when they couldn't find the right come back. When youn were slowly loosing you patience, w hand landed on you shoulder.

"Come on darling, let's not wast your precious time on these! I could repair your nails instead, what do you say?"

You naturally agreed, knowing it's best not to get in more problems than needed. And on your way, Asmo made it known he heard ALL of it. From your amazing arguments to you protecting his image. He may've not showed all of his gratitude in that moment but you'll definitely see it later, when he invites you to every single sleepover he'll hold.

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@vodka-glrl - come get your pretty princess~

"Ugh... 6th got first place in strength competition AGAIN!"

"Calm down, it's just a matter of time untill he eats someone alive and will get into trouble."

"Didn't he already? There's a reason why everyone is afraid to even come close to that monster."

You were waiting for Beel in front of a classroom as you were supposed to walk together back home and grabs 7th brother on your way too. You heard the two talking and blood was absolutely boiling in you... how could anyone call the teddybear of family a monster?! You were so angry you just wanted to hit them with a bat or so...

"Remember, only fight when someone starts it. And try not to overrate your skills."

But then you remembered Beel's words you heard after every training. He, as well as few other brothers used to teach you bit of self defense arts tho he definitely knew the most about it! They all wanted you to stay safe, but maybe it's time to repay their kindness?

Instead of throwing hands, you decided to insult them back, not holding single drop of your hatred. You may've caused a scene but at least 2 demons were left speechless. And when they finally had the guts to say something, their mouth immidietly close as their eyes landed on something behind you, leaving without a word. When you turned around you saw no one else than your brother.

"Are you hurt? You weren't fighting, were you?"

"No, I was just talking big..."

"That's good. Thank you but next time let me handle it. Well, let's go now, okey? We still need to pick up Belphie."

Maybe he didn't say much but he was smiling the whole way, telling you that your little act despite making him worry for a second, it melted his heart when someone stops up for him. Even if he'd prefer you didn't do that, he appreciated it.

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"He's sleeping all the time... how does he got a better grade than me?!"

"He must be cheating! I mean... he's utterly dumb with the amount he sleeps!"

You overheard 2 demons talking during a lesson, Belphie sleeping next to you. You knew you couldn't do much because consequences would come immidietly. But the more they whispered between each other, not even trying to make sure you didn't heard them, the more you just wanted to punch them in the face.

"Don't worry, we can always mess up with his future exam and remove all the unfair answers."

But that's when you had enough... they wanted to change your brothers answers just because they think he's cheating! You were about to get up and give them a piece of your mind, almost forgetting you're on a lesson. But luckily you were brought back down be a hand.

"Don't worry. They both are failing this year and the ones on the right girlfriend cheated on him with the one on the left, they're just jealous."

You didn't knew if he was lying about all those gossips or being serious... and two boys thought the same. You could now hear them arguing over who cheated on who, while teacher tried calming them down. So while they were busy, you decided to get an answer on your question and whispered back to your brother.

"Seriously? Did that really happened?"

"I don't know. I lied. But they'll be busy with something else so it's perfect time to take a nap, don't you think?"

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@miya-akane - come get your sleepyhead!

[romantic-disarray]

These characters as your younger sibling hcs!

Ft. Bachira, Nagi, Isagi, Chigiri, and Rin!

Note: May be ooc so don't mind 🙏

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

BACHIRA MEGURU━He's the type of brother that would stand at your door staring at you, and when you tell him to get out of your room—he says that he's not even in your room, before pointing at his feet that were CENTIMETERS away from your door frame.

The type to start a pillow fight, wherever and whenever no matter the situation.

He'd definitely answer, 'My older sibling!' to a who's your best friend question.

Despite being draining at times, Bachira loves you dearly and knows when to stop.

NAGI SEISHIRO━I can see Nagi using football as an excuse to not do his chores sometimes, but of course gets off his ass from time to time just to help you.

As kids, Nagi would hold your hand everywhere and cling onto your arm. Now as teens, he rarely does them anymore for obvious reasons. Although when you bring up the topic, he'd always grab a pillow and throw it at you or tackle you to the ground.

He'd suffocate you with a pillow, no questions asked.

Would steal your food from the fridge, and he'd always deny the accusations you throw at him even though you're the only people in the house. So he blames it on Choki.

ISAGI YOICHI━Just like Bachira—You're the only friend and sibling Isagi could ever ask for.

One time when Isagi's friend group came to visit—The other's kept purposely yelling embarrassing things that happened in blue lock, how Isagi devoured and got devoured by other players. Causing you to question yourself whether or not he wanted to tell you something.

You'd find scattered undergarments and clothing all over the ground whenever Isagi came home from practice, and being the best older sibling ever; you left him alone to clean it up himself once he wakes up. Not your problem.

WOULD GO TO YOU FOR LOVE ADVICE NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

CHIGIRI HYOMA━I just know Chigiri acts more like your mom than your actual mom. He'd scold you whenever he finds your room dirty, and threatens to throw a sandal at you when you whine.

Despite this—Chigiri would understand if you don't have the time for any of your chores, reasons like school and work are accepted, therefore when he sees you passed out from exhaustion he'd clean it himself.

He can be a brat sometimes, always so fucking sassy. His inability to hold his tongue would always cause the two of you to fight, but never to the point where it lasts any longer than a day.

Chigiri refuses to lend you his hair products, tells you to buy it yourself or that you'll contaminate it before giving in when you wouldn't let him go about it.

RIN ITOSHI━Ever since he and Sae's relationship fell apart, Rin was afraid you would've done the same and so he evaded you as much as possible to avoid getting hurt again. However, with your overgrowing kindness and affection for your family, it made it hard for Rin to do such things, so he resulted into spewing insults instead, which you paid no mind to and Rin could only wallow in regret.

Slowly, Rin began to accustom himself back into your loving arms. Starting small conversations and/or just sitting there in silence with you. He wouldn't admit it out loud but Rin feels happy that the two of you remained close after everything.

The others notice his changes in behavior whenever you're around and they constantly tease him about it, telling him 'awww you grow soft for you older sibling, how cute!'

[atranswomansdiary]

Day 156

November 8, 2020

“Dies ist der Morgen danach Und meine Seele liegt brach Dies ist der Morgen danach Ein neuer Tag beginnt Und meine Zeit verrint”

So, yeah: it is the morning after.

Things went well, I guess? Not as I expected at all but, in retrospect, I don’t know what the fuck was I thinking about when I imagined things going, let’s put it this way, “smoothly” when it is about things that concern me.

First things first: of course that one of my siblings forgot what I had asked and fucking missed the family meeting! She was kind of apologetic, saying that she really, absolutely had to meet with her boyfriend this very day, but it was still a shitty thing to do, in my opinion. If someone who never does so asks you, explicitly and ahead of time, to please be present for something, I think the least you can do is either commit to it or say outright that you won’t be there. I imagine that she didn’t want to be there because she didn’t want to be part of the family drama? I don’t know and, to be honest, I don’t think it really matters. I don’t think her presence would’ve changed the outcome or the others' reactions.

When I found out about them not being there, I had to make a decision. Either I canceled the whole thing or I moved forward. I decided to be respectful to my other sisters (and to my parents) and just go ahead with the thing.

We ate some lunch, had some chit-chat, and then the time came for me to open up and tell them the reason for the family meeting. Instead of going for some kind of preface or explanation, I chose to go for the Aristotelian line of reasoning. In other words: I started with the conclusion.

So I told them what I had told my (remaining and former) friends: “I’m considering transitioning”.

Let’s start with the positive stuff. My younger sister’s reaction was almost everything I could have hoped for. She asked me the usual questions—”Are you sure? Have you considered whether you're just gay?” Etc.—and, once I reassured them that yes, I was sure of at least considering the possibility, she seemed to be onboard. No drama there—at least not for now.

Speaking of drama: my dad cried. Like a lot. And he never cries. It shocked me and it really threw me off, but it was at least an emotional reaction, and he said it was because he was imagining my suffering. Of course I cried during this part as well. And if that had been all, if this was the full report, I’d say that it went OK. Could’ve been better, but it could’ve been way worse too.

And then we come to the subject of my mom.

Being completely transparent here, this was the reaction that matter to me the most. Not because I love her more than my dad or my sisters, but because she’s the one I have the closest relationship with. We talk almost every day over the phone and we have long conversations. She genuinely cares for me and my well-being, and does everything in her power to help me. She sends me frozen meals cooked by her, she washes my clothes (and sometimes irons them, against my protestations), and is all around just there for me, you know?

And she’s also, in her own words, a Roman Catholic. And a traditionalist and all around conservative. She’s the type of person that complains that life was better before… And she actually means it. She’s not a homophobe, but seeing two homosexuals displaying any signs of affection makes her squirm. She doesn’t practice her religion much… But you wouldn’t know it by listening to her. She is, all in all, a proper baby boomer with a pension that’s a misery but who still thinks that capitalism and our overall system are as good as it's ever going to get.

So now you understand why her reaction was so important to me—and why I dreaded it so much.

I was thinking the other day, trying to see if my memories could help me foresee her reaction… And the results were not great.

I remember two instances where she and I didn’t agree on important issues and it became a problem. The first was about religion—of course! We had many arguments back in the day, when I was young and stupid (I’m no longer young, thank you very much). At one point, it got so bad that I used to either work all weekend or escape to my grandparents’ or a friend’s house in order to avoid arguing with her.

The second time I recall was the time when I told her that I had decided to study philosophy once I was finished with high school. I don’t know why, but she lost it. This time we didn’t argue so much as she just stopped talking to me and looked at me like I had a disease or something for days.

In both instances, things only got better when I gave in. I just stopped saying out loud what I though about religion at home. I kept my ideas in general to myself and to whoever wanted to listen to me. And I didn’t study philosophy after high school.

Come to think of it, there’s another very important thing my mom and I have never agreed upon… And this is the only instance I can think of in which I’ve gone directly against her wishes. My mom doesn’t really like that I’m a writer. She never has. She never asks about it, nor has she never expressed any words of support for me regarding it. In fact, she always asks, “when are you going to get a real job?” whenever she can. And I’ve been pretty serious about writing (at least as much as an asshole like me can be about anything) for the past… Decade? Whoa! Times flies away indeed.

And yet, in spite of her lack of support and constant sabotage, I haven’t given in. And every time she’s been happy because I got a “real job” in the past ten years, for one reason or another, I’ve felt myself dying a little inside.

You can tell I’m delaying the inevitable, can’t you?

So, what happened? Nothing awful. At least not dramatically awful or anything like that. She didn’t disavow of me or ask me to leave, no. She just stood there, by my side, looking straight ahead (and perhaps avoiding looking at me?) and didn’t say a single thing. Not one word came out of her mouth. She didn’t cry like my dad nor asked questions like my sister. She just stood there, stone-faced and seemingly in shock. She said something about it being “my life” and “my business” (or something to that effect) and then avoid talking about it for the rest of the evening.

A part of me wants to believe that she’ll change her attitude regarding this, that maybe one day she’ll say that it’s OK, that she loves me and she’ll embrace me and say something like “I love you just the way you are. I always have and I always will.” Yeah, well, I didn’t say that I was a good writer.

Another part of me, the more cynical or realistic one, tells me that no, that this is it. That I have to continue forward and make my decision—whether to transition or not—regardless of my mom’s support… Or lack thereof. That a decision as important as this one can only be made from my center, from whatever makes me me. That it cannot depend on external approval of any kind, my mom’s included.

So here I am, the morning after, wondering whether this’ll be like religion or me studying philosophy… Or like being a writer. This is perhaps the greatest, cruelest test to my incipient transness. Will I go forward or will I go back? Can I? Today, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow. Definitely, one day, I hope I will know for sure.

Until then, with love,

ZZ

[fleshwerks]

i know you never made a hawke you got attached to, but do you have a general idea of one, for the sake of a "canon worldstate"? mostly i'm just curious about the condition/events of kirkwall in the world inhabited by spiridon and lea surana; what opinions they have, if any, of what went on there and the person at the heart of it all

Yes. I have Lilly. I think she is a character that actually has a lot of promise, I think she's in a way a proto-Mel Mossine.

I think Lilly Hawke would be best described as someone who was 'failing upwards'. Never someone who had a 'fire' in them, more like someone who was in the process of moving out of her parents' farm in Lothering in hopes of never seeing them or her siblings ever again, although secretly her conscience did hurt about her siblings. It was not their fault, but Lilly was parentified heavily, and as the oldest, was simply told to deal with the more eccentric members of her family. I guess it's why she never developed a 'found family' with the cast of DA2 the way most Hawkes seem to: for her, 'family' would always mean burden and thankless sacrifice, and having to suppress her own wants and needs to allow space for someone's even greater problems. Basically, 'you were born ordinary. It is your job to accommodate the extraordinary'. It's not like she's against doing it, she does have a fairly strong sense of civic duty, but she's always fucking hated that somehow she always ends up being surrounded by people with apparently bigger problems than her, worse issues than her, younger than her, greater than her, eclipsing her in the worst and the best. Her early life was spent in the blessing and the unexpected burden of being perfectly mediocre. Reliable. Placid. Dutiful. So perfectly ordinary. And because she was ordinary, it makes sense that she could suck in her stomach and make space in her life for the extraordinary, as per her parents. How many times did she hear it from her own parents. 'It's not like you have anything more exciting to do or think.' The old, tall bleached, staid rock in whose shadow vibrant and exciting life could thrive and make their home in her.

So, when the Qunari invasion rolled around, Lilly did what she always did: she dealt with it without forming strong opinions. When the mage rebellion came, it was much the same. She's the epitome of that one person in reality shows who survives until the finale because she's a hard worker, but not really a threat to anybody. To her, these events were all 'same shit, different day' type of misfortune, something to deal with in the now, and let the people who fucking care think about the future implications.

And so, Isabela got to escape with the Qun tome. So, Bethany was slain in the Gallows in the final confrontation, by herself, Lilly Hawke, no less. And the people didn't mind her for it. You make it far when you ask no questions. Now there's a hole in the sky and Lilly Hawke looks up at it, thinking: "I just don't have the stamina to care. I don't care about the stories of interesting people and interesting times."

A lot of what she is lies in the chest of shame of her parents. Having to put up with what his father put her through, even though it's caused by the 'system' and not her father per se. It's just that when a child sees a fist coming at her, she will blame the fist, and not the geopolitics causes of the fist. And her mother never really let go of her noble origins. Her mother was rebellious but never let go of the Amell nobility. She was loved, she thinks, but only as much as the extraordinary, and the blessed, love 'the help'. Whether this assessment is earned and truthful remains up to debate. When she reached adulthood and still hadn't manifested magic, there was a sigh of relief from her family, but also latent disappointment. You know, the kind of disappointment that comes with "we had to sacrifice so much. It's an insult that our firstborn couldn't be the crowning jewel of our rebellion. All we sacrificed for freedom and greatness for love and magic, and we ended up with... her.' Not that they'd ever admit it, although Leandra Amell in the bitter end did let it slip that her 'greatest' was lost to her in the Gallows, and her 'baby' died even before her greatest, so somehow Lilly failed her duty as the oldest and most ordinary that she didn't die before (instead?) the first two.

Ironically she's still the only one living out of three protagonists by the time DA4 rolls around. She's said explicitly that she'll keep doing her duty to Kirkwall, and if the world, and Kirkwall dies, then, well, about fucking time.

[deeptrashwitch]

Okay, this snippet is canon, because I wanna see Alicia as an auntie! And we oficially have the first member of the 4th Gen of the family ^^ this one:

(He's 10 but looks like he's older :3)

And now up to the snippet!

All the family was having a good time inside grandpa and grandma's house, just passing the holidays with their usual happiness and chaotic existance. Although, Nicolás was a bit nervous and even Alejandro noticed it, so everyone was confused and a bit worried about him. No one said anything because the eldest Marchant sibling never spoke about his problems if he was pressured, so they gave him his space.

When midnight arrived they all sat around the tree as usual, with all the classics songs blasting on the speakers, chatting with a cup of wine. Once they wished each other a merry christmas, with Elías and Juan David pretended to gag when Alicia and Alejandro kissed, everyone gave away the presents. Mostly were little things, trinkets if you want, but all of it thought in base of their personality.

"Hey, Licia, Alejo" Nicolás called with a shy smile "my gift is for you both, it's kind of a surprise"

"Aww, thanks Nico" Alicia said as they recived the box

"Thanks hermano! Now let's open it" Alejandro murmured, absolutely curious

They opened the box in the middle of an expectant silence, and inside of there were two bracelets, both with a little crow charm. But the real surprise was the card inside as well, it had just a question written on it attached to a little photo of Nicolás and a kid. 'Wanna be my godparents?'

"...Wait" they said in unison, sharing looks before looking at the older one "YOU'LL BE A FATHER?!"

"Surprise-!" Nicolás exclaimed, just to be tackled in a hug by Camila, and the younger twins (Juan David's little sisters), María and Gabriela

"We're having grandchildren?" Andrea muttered, looking at Jack with surprise and then smiling widely "we are having grandchildren!"

"AHAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU DEATH!" Julio screamed and laughed maniacally, pointing to the nocturne sky through the window "I LIVED TO SEE MY GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN!"

"Julio! Enough!" Rosa scolded him, making him sit down again before looking at Nicolás "congrats papito! I'm so happy for you"

"Another one! Another one! Another one!" Elías, August and Juan David were chanting while their parents and uncle were looking at them with worry

"They are as weird as you" José murmured towards Gabriel and Isabel

Everyone was happy and celebrating the new member to come, all while Nicolás was all red in the face, but smiling happily. Then Alicia and Alejandro took him apart to talk, hearing the relieved sigh from the elder brother.

"So? Are you adopting?" Alicia asked with a side smile

"Yes, he's a little boy called Daniel" Nicolás admitted with a soft smile "I met him maybe two years ago, and last year I started all the process to adopt him. To be honest, last month they gave me the yes! So he'll be my son, at mid january if everything goes right"

"I'm an auntie!" Alicia exclaimed, really excited with a giggle

"And I'll be an uncle" Alejandro murmured with a chuckle, then looking at his brother-in-law "do you really want us to be his godparents?"

"Absolutely, I trust you! Also I'm relieved that my son has two spec ops officers as godparents in case something happens" Nicolas joked with a big smile "and we both know that Alicia's boys will treat my boy as one of them"

"That's true, they'll be like that..."

And like that they learned that Daniel Marchant, the first grandchild on the family, is a sweet, intelligent, determined and patient boy. They also knew that Nicolás had been telling Daniel about all of them, and the kid was so admired and happy to have such a big family, even already calling them uncles, aunties and so more. When he gave them the date when his son would arrive home, everyone just started to prepare everything to recieve him.

And when Alicia called her boys to tell them the news, all the soldiers cheered loudly, making Alicia silence the call with a chuckle. At the same time she considered tell Tiala, Kanoa and Aly, so she organized a call with them for a little later before going to celebrate again. Like that the time passed, and in the middle of january, Daniel arrived home with Nicolás and all the family fled to La Haya to meet the new member.

"HE'S ONE OF US!" the grandpa exclaimed, lifting the kid as if he was Simba while Daniel giggled, with a huge smile "HEY WORLD! BEHOLD MY GREAT-GRANDBABY!"

"Dad! Put my grandkid down!" Andrea shouted, running towards him

"...They're really happy, huh?" Camila murmured with a big smile

"Oh, definitely" August said with a chuckle "hey, you think he'll be another soldier or he stays as civilian?"

"I bet for civilian" Gabriela said, raising her hand

"That's something only his dad can tell" Elías reminded them, then looking at his cousin "what do you think, Nico?"

"...Whatever he chooses, I'll be proud of him" Nicolás said with a little smile "but knowing him, I wouldn't be surprised if he became a soldier"

"So he'll be a new member of the club" María joked "but he still need to wait that I join first!"

"Mom, put my nephew back on the floor!" Alicia argued, watching Andrea doing the same as her father "and you bicker grandpa? You're just like him!"

"Got him!" Alejandro exclaimed, carrying the kid as a potato sack when he got him back "let's go, enano"

"Yay! Thanks for the help, uncle Alejo" Daniel said, smiling happily while Alejandro also smiled

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Due to a glitch in Tumblr (thank you very much, for fuck's sakes), the question was posted as a private message, can't return it. but thanks to @mazal22 , for whom I wrote the answer and was able to copy my notes. Bless your heart 🙏🙏🙏

Question: "I came up with a brilliant idea.. how about headcanons with bachelors and bachelorettes with a farmer who has a young brother/sister? That they look after him and they're just cute? Wild? Have some magic? I honestly don't know but think this just cute"

I decided to write in a new format, but still not sure. Because I couldn't decide whether to write short stories, a regular headcanon, or as a shitpost. In the end, everything was mixed together like in a salad. But anyway, I hope you like it)))

Be warned, this post is very long... Like wow

SDV and SVE bachelors:

Alex:

Oh, a new fan of the future athlete? Does they want an autograph or something?

Mmm? Raise that bench? Sure, not a problem! Now that heavy stump? With ease! Want to see what heavy things I can lift next? Something else? Lewis car? Hah, no probl-

"Alex, put my vehicle down!"

Alex is ok with the kid running around.

He notes to himself that it is quite brave and responsible of the Farmer's side to take care of the younger sibling and run the farm at the same time.

Sometimes he treats the child with ice cream from the kiosk in the summer.

Falls into a stupor if the child says that they believes in him that he will become a sports star.

...

If one of the tourists offends this kid, he will deal with Alex too, and not just with the angry Farmer.

Sam:

Sam became like a big brother to the Farmer's sibling.

He will definitely introduce them to Vincent so that they befriend and play together.

Buys them ice cream and gives them a ride on his skateboard.

Sometimes rolls them on his shoulders if they ask.

Vincent gets a little jealous and now Sam has two kids on his shoulders

It's not hard to guess that they all fell to the ground.

Sam doesn't mind watching the kids if the Farmer is too busy.

Best brother material!

Elliott:

Waking up in the morning, Elliott decided to take a walk and get some fresh air. He did not look out the window, knowing that the weather would be fine today. But in vain.

Around his house is a wall of sand.

"Your realm will soon fall before my sand army. Surrender, king of the elves."

Elf? Who is this child?

Ah, that's Farmer's sibling.

Well, Elliott understands a little about theatrical art, why not play along with the kid.

He always plays along with the siblings when they play games like this. The little one got talent, you could send them to art school, Farmer!

Allows them to braid his hair if the child asks. Just please don't pull his hair too hard!

Elliott is like a big thoroughbred noble dog: he will endure all the antics of children and will never bark.

Shane:

Despite his rudeness to the Farmer at the first meeting, he is neutral towards their sibling.

The chaotic younger sibling of the chaotic Farmer... Shane isn't sure if it's worth introducing them to Jas.

But children are children, so Jas and Farmer's sibling managed to become friends anyway.

Shane doesn't mind.

He and Farmer also began to communicate more, as two singe parents.

Although at the same time, Shane claims that he is a useless godfather and guardian.

"Uncle Shane is lying, Mr./Ms. Farmer."

"Shush, Jas."

Both Shane and Farmer now need to make sure the two kids don't get into trouble together.

Sebastian:

Acts like an awkward uncle.

How to communicate with children?

...

Do you like frogs?

Sebastian will show them his little terrarium, and will be happy if Farmer's sibling is excited about the amphibians.

He will also show his exclusive collection of comics.

Sebby, of course, is constantly on social networks, but he did not expect the child Naruto running around him.

They made Sebastian laugh, although he thought that nothing in this world would make him laugh.

Total chaos, but Sebastian is pretty cool with that.

Secretly too, Naruto runs with the sibling if they ask to join.

The Farmer caught Sebastian during this run. Busted!

Harvey:

The Farmer's sibling is a frequent visitor to the clinic.

Oh, nothing serious, just scratches on their knees and bruises on their arms. Children often run without looking under their feet and this child is no exception.

Always gives them sugar-free candy after sanitizing their scratches.

Sometimes the sibling just walks into the clinic to say hi to the uncle doctor.

Sometimes brings gifts for the doctor.

From an older sibling - vegetables and fruits.

Sometimes from themself - a cool shell or dirt.

Harvey doesn't know how to react to this. But thank the child anyway.

Victor:

He also acts like an awkward uncle (behind Sebastian in first place), but knows what to do with an energetic child when the Farmer is busy.

He has a lot of video games, what do you want to play?

Wait, they want to play a bridge simulator? They think this is an interesting game?

This is now Victor's sibling. Deal with it, Farmer.

Confused when a child does something chaotic but will support them (unless it's something dangerous, of course!).

Victor is confused, but he got the spirit. I give him 8/10 as brother/uncle material.

Lance:

Lance doesn't know what surprised him the most: the presence of a child in the Adventurers' guild, or their requests to show "fire in the palm of your hand."

He turned his head towards Marlon with a questioning look.

"Farmer's sibling. They asked to look after the kid for an hour while they clear the caves of monsters."

Oh, they have sibling?

Still, Lance gave in to the child's requests and formed a small fire sphere in his right hand.

"Awesome! See what I can"

They formed a similar sphere in their palms, but the elements of ice.

Hold on, what?

Although, remembering the event with the Farmer on Ginger island and learning about magic relics, Lance is not so surprised.

"Two talented young and chaotic mages, that's more of a headache for Magnus" Marlon thought as he watched it all.

"Indeed" Lance agrees and smiles.

Magnus:

Please don't touch this. Don't touch that either. Those books are very old, be careful! Please put the mushrooms back, he needs them for potions. For heaven's sake, stay out of his cauldron!-

Yoba, why does Magnus suffer so much.

First, Camilla with that ridiculous nicknames, blasted woman! Then Morgan almost burned down his tower, and then the Farmer and Junimos do something without warning the wizard.

And now this child. Child with magic. A walking chaos and troublemaker.

With magic and desir- put this potions back! - desire to poke their nose everywhere.

And yet, the child is kind, gets along well with Morgan, and is very talented, and...

No, don't touCH THOSE POTIONS-!

Somebody kill him.

SDV and SVE Bachelorettes:

Abigail:

At first she avoided the child. She is not a babysitter.

Then Farmer's sibling became interested in one of his older sibling's professions.

And saw Abigail again, asked if she was an adventurer too. They also want to become a warrior, and as cool as the Farmer and her.

Abby is now informally the child's mentor. No buts.

She realized that they are quite fun to be with, and they also love video games, another plus.

Abby will show them the cool crystals she found in the mines.

The child tried to bite off a piece of quartz.

Are they definitely not Abigail's distant relative, another "just taste the gem" lover?

But seriously, don't eat rocks please.

Penny:

Another young mind in her class.

Penny is very happy about the addition to her group.

Although this means more work with materials for the preparation of the school curriculum.

They are very smart and educated.

Although they give Penny a heart attack every time they climb a tree or get too close to a river bank.

Penny is like a mother hen, she doesn't let anyone go far.

She always helps them if they have learning difficulties.

Like the other children, she escorts the Farmer's sibling home.

The child always brings a beautiful and juicy apple to the young teacher. And sometimes a whole basket of apples.

Maru:

If you have problems with maths, Maru will help them.

Do you want to see the robots she makes?

Can I make the robot say something? Of course!

Makes a robot to... curse?

...

So, how old are they?

(Secretly also wants to give the robot such a function, but her father will not get it).

Gave them a couple of times to look through the telescope. With joy, she answers what kind of stars and planets they are.

"Aunt Maru, help build Lego"

Oh, with her, sibling will gather a separate civilization.

Teach them scientific puns.

Leah:

Leah's house door is now frequently knocked on.

"Aunt Leah, show me your new paintings, they are beautiful".

Well, how can Leah say no?

If the Farmer is busy then she can look after their sibling.

Mostly they are in nature.

Paints and clean sheets - and let the child create a miracle.

Sometimes they walk through the forest, where Leah shows them which berries are edible and which are poisonous.

Very proud of them if they already know.

She gets a good mood, and a basket of vegetables in gratitude from the Farmer - the day was a success.

Haley:

Haley is quite polite towards children, even if they are as chaotic as the Farm Relative.

Doesn't get mad at them even if they accidentally stained her clothes.

Periodically takes random photos of this running child.

It turns out very funny, you can make a good meme from this pictures.

And why not do it? But only of the Farmer themself and their sibling will allow it.

Now the kid is the star of the Internet.

Chaos of the Valley

Once she received a sunflower from them.

Haley will never forget this touching gift.

Scratch out the eyes with his new manicure to any bully who dares to offend them.

Try her, bitch.

Emily:

Always glad to see Farmer and their sibling at home.

She usually spoil the child with healthy sweets like pastille or sugar-free marmalade.

Emily can sew anything for them.

Do you want to be a pirate? Or an astronaut? Or maybe a vampire? Oh, or make a dinosaur costume.

Believe me, she is hung up on sewing. The main thing is to find a reason and time.

Can teach dancing or aerobics if the sibling asks.

He will tell you how to read a horoscope correctly.

Sibling will one day show her the magic in their palms.

Ah, Farmer! They are a wizard!

They are what?

Claire:

Please, child, Claire is trying to work. She is so tired

Don't ask her too many questions.

Where are their parents?

Ah, here they are. Well, not parents, but brother/sister, a new Farmer. The Farmer explained to their sibling that they should be well-mannered.

"Oh, okay. Sorry ms Claire".

Before and after work, she sees this child, but they are no longer clingy.

They greet her politely and move on.

They often give Claire dandelions they find and say she has a beautiful hair color.

A little angel.

They immediately cheer up Claire if she is depressed.

Given that the farm is very close to the bus stop, such meetings happen often.

Sometimes Claire treats the child to fresh apricots and apples that her neighbors gave her.

Sophia:

Oh hey.

...

How can Sophia talk to them?

Do you want to watch something cool on TV? I have anime, anime and... animal documentaries. Oh, and I also have anime.

With great pleasure, she will show them her cosplay.

Receive a small soft toy from the child as a gift.

"your toys will make another friend"

oh it's so cute

"And you have pretty hair like bubblegum. I like it."

Sophia, stop crying, you're scaring the child.

Do they love grampleton orange chicken as much as Sophia? And love anime?

Did someone say Sophia was an only child? Nothing like that, now she has a younger brother/sister.

Olivia:

Olivia is just like that grandmother who always spoils the children and gives them too much pocket money.

True, Olivia is not a grandmother, but a milf good looking middle-aged woman.

Spoils them to the point of impossibility, because they are so cute.

Even if the Farmer grumbles a little that she spoils them too much.

If a sibling comes to visit, they won't leave until they've eaten.

I'm telling you, she is like granny.

Olivia will show them an album of old photos of her family.

There's children's books in her library somewhere, if they're interested.

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Hello please perceive my Azem OC

Okay thabk ye for looking at her I will now ramble abt her under the cut

So Lucifer's whole deal is that she inspired Emet Selch a lot as his senior. Like, his theatrical nature largely comes from her and so did quite a lot of his ideals. That is to say, we should be glad that Lucifer didn't survive the sundering bc uh... that would have been messy. I mean she'd be super unpredictable and she just generally has very off-putting vibes.

She's Emet Selch and Hythlodaeus' senior- not by a lot but enough that she still kind of sees them as kids/younger siblings lmao. She always used to kind of baby them... much to Emet Selch's chagrin lmao.

Anyways ON our dearest Emet Selch-

He puts her on an unrealistically high pedestal to kinda parallel how everyone holds impossibly high standards for WoL. See, the thing is, he probably shouldn't have put her up on such a high pedestal because she's highkey a sociopath. Yeah uh, he knows and elects to ignore it. Emet and Hyth both think they can fix her and yk what good for them but they look like a fuckin construction crew lol.

I'm only slightly exaggerating when I say that Emet got all of his problems from her. Like A LOT of his Solus persona comes from Lucifer. Like it's not healthy at all lmao. He is imitating her as a (fucked up) form of love and also to remember her. His love for theatrics and the arts? Lucifer. Fat fucking liar? Lucifer. Sadism? Lucifer. General apathy and/or detachment? LUCIFER. Seriously the degree to which he looks up to her you would think she was a SAINT. Something something, when someone dies you only try to remember the good things about them.

As for Hythlodaeus, at least he's aware that something is wrong with her and actually wants to help her. Emet kind of just bought into the persona she put up and while Hyth did to an extent as well, he tries to dig deeper.

Hyth has actually seen Lucifer be vulnerable, but only sort of. Honestly, Hyth is the therapist friend oftentimes to his own detriment. He gives that vibe to me. And about Lucifer being vulnerable; it's not exactly her unloading her sad baggage (bc you best believe she has it) but it's more of her being a little more honest about the fact that she just doesn't feel anyway about anything. She is very self aware about that whole thing but she also struggles with whether or not all of the stuff she says while putting up her act is genuine.

To an extent, Lucifer did genuinely care for those in her circle. She genuinely liked being around Hyth and Emet, and she genuinely respected Venat as her mother/teacher figure. It's just that she's never really honest with them, you know? Listen, Emet, Hyth, and Lucifer have been friends since they were teenagers but if you asked either of them any questions about her that go deeper than the surface you would get nothing. Lucifer on the other hand, despite her troubles with empathy and general emotions, is a little too good at recognizing what makes people tick. She is kind of a piece of shit in this regard because she will use that knowledge.

She uses this knowledge to gain favor with others, to get information, and even to preserve herself. Venat especially is really good at recognizing this and it's something they tried to work on when she took Lucifer under her wing. Key word tried bc you'd best believe when she deserted the Convocation during the Final Days she guilt tripped Emet to hell and back.

One other thing about her I want to highlight is that Venat, Hyth, and Emet are her moral compass. Not exactly in the "I love you and I will follow you" type way, but in the "oh okay you don't like it when I do this" type of way. She has no real concept of right or wrong nor cares much for the moral codes of others, she just kind of cares about how it makes her look and if it'll make her fit in.

Like, maybe she creates a concept and it's dangerous. She doesn't see a problem with it unless Hyth or Emet go "Hey girlypop, this is a little fucked up" and then she'll do a complete 180 and be like "oh haha yeah I guess it is" but she won't destroy the concept. Because why would she? A little personal project won't hurt anyone...

As you can probably tell by now, she is not the ideal person to be Azem. But of course, nobody actually knows what's going on in her noggin and by virtue of being very likable and appearing to enjoy helping other people (it's really just her trying to copy normal human behavior) to the average outsider. Does the Convocation think she's messed up? Yeah, they're not blind- but they think she's just depressed/despondent or something not that she's a high-functioning sociopath.

Now, given all of the above information, we should all be happy it was Emet Selch who survived the Sundering because Lucifer would be much worse. I think out of their little trio, Emet was actually the most merciful outcome because I also think Hyth has the capacity to be a terrifying villain. Dude just think about it; you could either have the sociopath, the one that attaches his entire identity to his friends (who would be dead in this scenario so where does that leave him) or the guys who's just a little grumpy. Shockingly enough, Emet is the most well adjusted one in this polycule. And that is saying a lot.

Lucifer would be worse than Emet because hey, at least Emet has something resembling a moral compass and only works to restore the status quo and get all his friends back. Lucifer? She'd do it for the hell of it. Everyone guiding her morals is fucking gone, what is she going to do? Without them, she has no idea what qualifies as right and wrong anymore. No she doesn't care about restoring the star or whatever she just wants her ego to be fed again. So she'll sort of go along with whatever the hell the Ascians are doing.

Anyways yeah that concludes this essay. In my next one I will go over her parallels with my WoL.

[star-ocean-peahen]

fuck. my family is so messed up.

(i just need to get this off my chest)

(also idk even what to add as trigger warnings so like. parents being scary bc of their behavior??)

so my mom doesn't believe that my younger sibling is telling the truth about some wrongdoing because they have lied to her about similar things many times in the past and because she was sitting in a place where she would have seen them if they did what they said they did.

my dad believes that my sibling did not do the thing and is very upset with her for not trusting him. he was saying to my sibling with contempt that my mother is afraid of raising a teenager and implying heavily that she is being controlling and unfairly mistrustful towards them because of her fear. i really didnt like hearing this because my sibling already has a fractured relationship with our mom and being a young teenager, refuses to believe that she has his best interests in mind. and my dad says things like that to them a lot, where he expresses his upset opinions on what she does to him and their kids. it communicates that he thinks she shuts down everyone that disagrees with her mistreating her kid or husband and that she is a selfish, cruel person who cannot be trusted.

i don't think this is true at all. my mom and i are very close and she shares a lot with me. she has depression and various physical problems, which means she makes some mistakes. but guess fucking what she tries to understand when we're hurt and apologizes when she fucks up, and my dad never fucking does that. haha.

anyway my dad doesn't actually believe those things about my mom; they're both committed to working on their marriage and taking care of our family. he just doesn't have a filter when he's upset and doesn't understand sometimes what's appropriate to say to a kid.

so he said that to my sibling and then in the other room i spoke to him and asked him why he said that etc. he said he wants my sibling to understand where she's coming from (being a coward.) i said that expressing that was just going to damage their relationship because now they know that their dad doesn't trust their mom to treat them right. he said that she "dumped and vomited" (referring to emotional confiding) on him and he knows that she accuses them of things they don't do. so he was basically calling her a coward that hurts her family (which is not his real opinion of her because all the rest of his actions say otherwise). even though we were arguing, we weren't angry at each other, which is like the third time that's happened in my life.

in the end, i just started feeling really stupid and like i fucked up in saying anything at all and like i needed to apologize for questioning his parenting and questioning his perception of my mom and like i really was just her patsy ganging up with her against them. i always always always feel like im wrong at the end of an argument with him and even though i've grown and am willing to admit i'm wrong, i really didn't want to because he's NEVER going to tell me that he's wrong.

and there we go haha he never tells me that i'm right or that i did good. he's never fucking done that and hello self-doubt that's where you came from. hahaha i guess this is why i couldn't believe that i could ever be right about anything important as a middle schooler. and like. that's bad? that's a bad dad thing to do. that's a mistake on his part, not mine.

when the argument ended i just left to another room and cried like i always do after we argue. what am i supposed to do. our family is fucked up and im pretty sure that when my dad says that kind of thing to my sibling he's damaging their relationship with my mom and not helping the kid grow or building their self esteem. he's just teaching them that mom is unreliable. like yes it's important that kids know they can be right and the parent can be wrong but you don't teach that by basically telling the kid that their parent's a horrible person. you teach that by showing the kid that the parents are fallible and make mistakes and hurt you sometimes but it's their job to apologize and do better. and it's pretty rich coming from him because again, she apologizes to us and he doesn't. not even when he yells at us and it's so scary we end up crying. or when he says inappropriate things that are really scary when he's upset. or for calling my fatigue and exhaustion a "bitchy attitude". for a lot of those things he realized they were wrong and didn't do them again but he never apologized!! not because he didn't want to but because it literally just didn't occur to him!!

and it hurts so fucking much that im never going to get that from him. he loves me so much but he can't do this for me. i will always be the only one apologizing even if we both acknowledge we're wrong. fuck.

it feels so much like i have to take sides when he thinks of my mom this way. like i jump in to defend her but then im jumping in to defend her and that's incendiary and escalates the conflict. but i can't just let him tell my sibling all these awful, false things just because he's upset and not aware of how bad they are. and i can't tell all this to my mom because she should hear his thoughts from him, not me, in the same way my sibling should hear our mom's perspective from her and not him. i don't know what to fucking do and i hate myself so much right now for challenging him and believing the best of my mom.

im so fucking tired. my dad isn't doing any of these things out of malice he's just genuinely so upset and wrapped up in his own head that he doesn't realize what he's doing is hurtful. we've been building up more trust over the past few years as we've had more positive experience together but this just broke it all again. fuck.

and this isn't immediately relevant but i want to rant about all the inappropriate stuff he says if he's mad:

he's compared our outbursts or lashing out to vomiting and other visceral, disgusting, unwelcome intrusions.

he said very loudly in the middle of a restaurant with our friends at the same table (in the middle of a dispute with me) that if he had a gun to his head then he would do what my mom wanted.

when i was fifteen he told me that if there were ever gunmen holding me and my mom hostage and they told him to choose one of us to live that he would choose neither and let us both die because then he wouldn't have chosen to let one specific person die because that would be equivalent to murder. i was fucking fifteen and he told me he would rather have both me and my mother dead than feel like he committed a murder.

when i was a kid and fucked around with a steak knife he took it brandished it in my face and threatened to slice me with it if i was careless again. ever since i've compulsively glued my eyes to his hands when he's using a kitchen knife and i didn't even realize why until a few weeks ago. i also flinch every time he holds a knife and moves in my direction.

he swears. called my mom a bitch once. told me i was spewing shit and garbage.

this barely counts but he told me as a side note on multiple different occasions while discussing the bible verse that refers to soiled rags that it means rags soaked with period blood. like dad i don't need you to tell me that period blood is really gross i know already.

now for almost every single one of these things he either did them once and never again or has stopped doing them. that's why im not more concerned. but it still. it still hurts.

haha i just remembered that the one and only nightmare that make me wake up crying involved him yelling. im. im not really helping my case here.

fuck we're so messed up.

[melishade]

Attack on Prime Halloween Anthology: Okiku, the Living Japanese Doll

Main Story    

The Rake

Red Death

Medusa  

“How much longer do we have until this is over?” Connie had asked the Commander as they sat around the bonfire.

“...Nine more days,” Hanji counted on her fingers.

“I will not be doing this again,” Optimus informed her in his holoform.

“Aw c’mon. Why not?” Hanji whined. Optimus merely gestured to the apprehensive faces of the Survey Corps, excluding Mikasa. She herself just looked eager. 

“I don’t see the problem,” Hanji shrugged.

“Hanji, you and I are tied,” Levi reminded.

“I still don’t see the problem,” Hanji denied.

“By the Allspark,” Optimus muttered under his breath.

“Let’s just get today out of the way, please?” Armin pleaded with Optimus.

Optimus sighed and turned his attention to the fire. He remember another story Miko had told to scare Jack and Rafael. “A mother name Yuna, lived with her daughter Emiko. Yuna had to work two jobs in order provide for both herself and her daughter, since her husband was not around. Yuna’s busy schedule made it hard for her to spend time with Emiko. So Yuna bought Emiko a doll, which she had named Okiku.

Emiko had spent much of her time with Okiku. She played with it, slept with it, and ate with it. Yuna thought it was amusing for Emiko to serve her doll food, even though the doll would not be able to eat. However, overtime, it became unnerving. Emiko had done everything with the doll, even take a bath with her. Yuna asked her if it would ruin the doll, but Emiko insisted that the doll needed a bath. 

But Yuna had to make extra meals that would ultimately be wasted. Emiko had referred to the doll as her sister in public, much to Yuna’s embarrassment. Even for a child, this was becoming too much for the mother. She had pulled Emiko aside and tell her as gently as possible that the doll was not really alive. Emiko could believe and make up what she wanted, but Yuna could not treat the doll as if it were her sister.

But she is real.

Yuna was too exhausted to continue the conversation, and simply let it go. However, Emiko did heed her mother’s advice, and less food and water was being used. One night she had tucked her daughter into bed, she had noticed something different about the doll. The hair looked...longer. It used to be at the doll’s shoulder, but now it was at the doll’s waist. 

I told you she was real.

Yuna had believed she was hallucinating from the lack of sleep and over-working herself. Over the next few days, there were other new features that she had noticed on the doll. There were teeth growing from her mouth and fingernails growing on her hands. Yuna had grown more and more concerned. Was the doll real? Or was it something else?

One night, when she returned from work, Yuna had noticed Emiko covering the doll in bandages. She stomped over and grabbed the doll. Emiko told her mom that the doll was sick and that she needed to be careful. However, Yuna was shocked to find the bandages had blood seeping through it. She had unwrapped the bandages of the doll and turned it over to find a flap on the back. She peeled the flap away, and was horrified to find a fresh heart stuffed inside the cavitiy of the doll.

I gave her a heart, mommy, and everything that she needs to be real. Can we go back to calling her my sister again?”

“...oh my fucking god,” Jean muttered. Meanwhile, Sasha was the one trying to stop herself from throwing up by covering her mouth.

“This feels like the horror that I want to look away from, but can’t,” Armin admitted with a nervous laugh.

“What the hell is wrong with that kid?!” Connie screamed, “My younger siblings never pulled this crap!”

“How did she even get those items?” Mikasa asked, “Where did she even get hair? Or even a heart?”

“That is actually something I can agree with,” Hanji asked, “Sure, I was a rambunctious kid, but I never dissected my own frog to stuff into a doll.”

“Who or what did she kill?” Eren asked.

“Is that a question you all really want an answer to?” Optimus rhetorically asked.

All of them looked quite nervous to respond to Optimus question.

“Yes,” Mikasa answered bluntly, with no fear in her eyes.

“Mikasa, what the hell?!” Sasha screamed at her.

Mikasa began to argue her case while the teens were scolding her for it. Meanwhile, Optimus just looked visibly tired. He’s aware that while the story is fake, the doll is real and exists in Japan. But he was going to refrain from telling them that piece of information.

(Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. I got busy and I needed to fix my hair which usually takes an hour at best.)

[mayhemwrites]

fucking perfect

Genya beams at her. Fucking perfect Genya, with her golden eyes that look like something out of a fucking book, and bright red hair -

Anyway.

Zoya thinks Genya is perfect, and she hates her for it, until she doesn't.

read it on ao3 here! written for the AU roulette challenge, with the prompt "your job"

full fic under the cut - one-sided pining, enemies to lovers, modern au, 2431 words

But no. Knowing Zoya's history of being notoriously bad with kids, her dad had decided to hire a babysitter instead of leaving her alone with her dozen younger cousins, but of course he'd said she had to stay. It was experience, or something. It would be good for her to learn to take care of little kids, and to get used to spending time with her cousins. He isn't wrong, exactly. After the divorce, now that her dad is moving in with the rest of his family, she's going to be living with her cousins until she goes off to college. If she can even afford tuition, let alone accommodation.

--------

Zoya's evening is fucking ruined. It's her own fault. If she hadn't bitched so much about having to babysit her cousins while her dad went out with his siblings, he wouldn't have found an actual babysitter, and she wouldn't have to spend an evening with Genya fucking Safin.

So he's right. But that doesn't make it any less annoying that not only is the babysitter he's found in Zoya's grade, she's also one of the few people Zoya absolutely can't stand. (Maybe 'few' is an exaggeration, but she and Genya have never gotten along. Ever since freshman year, when they met.)

Zoya's sitting on the couch in her new house, not sulking exactly, but strongly considering it, when the doorbell rings.

Her uncle goes to answer it, and she hears Genya's voice coming from the front hall. She asks all the right questions, judging by how impressed he sounds. Things about bedtimes and dinner and what are the kids allowed to do?

Then her uncle, the goddamn traitor, he knows she doesn't like Genya - he shows her through to the sitting room.

Genya beams at her. Fucking perfect Genya, with her golden eyes that look like something out of a fucking book, and bright red hair -

Anyway. Genya waves and says hi, still with that perfect smile plastered onto her face, and Zoya rolls her eyes and says hi back.

Her uncle leaves the room, and a minute later Zoya hears the door slam. So, she's stuck with Genya until her family comes back, which won't be til midnight, or something.

Genya sits down next to her. "Hey! How are you?”

Can Genya please stop pretending like they don't hate each other? It's not like this is some kind of one-sided rivalry. Every time Zoya wants something - every single time - Genya gets there first. Team captains, best grades - you name it, Genya beats Zoya for it. Genya hadn't even played soccer before Zoya decided she wanted to try out.

(And, okay, maybe Zoya's not wholly blameless here - she hadn't been interested in theater before she'd heard that Genya was auditioning for the lead role in the spring musical sophomore year, but Genya got the role anyway, so it doesn't count.)

"Fine, I guess," she says sullenly.

Genya sighs. "Do you have a problem with me, or something?"

"No." She stands up abruptly. "You should probably meet the kids."

"Yeah, good idea! Will you introduce me?"

And it's not like Zoya can say no, not without sounding like a complete asshole. So she introduces Genya to all her cousins, and entirely unsurprisingly, they all adore her. Every single one of them. How does Genya do it? They barely put up with Zoya, and now they're all over a complete stranger.

Fucking hell. Perfect, lovable Genya Safin. (And Zoya's still not over the unfairness of those eyes. Seriously, gold eyes? Should not exist.)

Of course as soon as the kids are done being enamoured with Genya, they start begging for dinner, so Zoya perches on the kitchen counter and lets Genya cook because yet again: obviously perfect Genya can cook.

The kids run off to watch TV, and Zoya's left watching Genya cook. It's almost mesmerizing, in a way, watching her make spaghetti sauce from scratch.

"You want some?" Genya asks after a while, snapping Zoya out of her daze. "There's enough pasta that I could make some for us as well, or if you want I could get us takeout after your cousins are in bed."

"Yeah, I don't know if I trust you enough to eat what you make," she says harshly. "Just because you're in my house, and my family seems to adore you, doesn't make us friends."

Genya shrugs. "Suit yourself. I'm assuming that means you also don't trust whatever I order from UberEats?"

"Pretty much. I'll get my own dinner."

God. Sometimes she makes herself sick with how bitchy she can be. There's no question that Genya deserves her enmity, but… does she always have to be so harsh?

She jumps down from the counter and stalks off to her room. Why couldn't Genya have been busy or something? And she's going to get paid for being here, antagonizing Zoya all night.

Over the sound of music in her headphones, she hears Genya call the kids for dinner. She doesn't move, though. Let Genya be the beloved babysitter, and Zoya the unwelcome interloper. She knows where she's not wanted.

Time passes. Zoya's not counting. From experience, if she counts down the hours until her dad gets home, it'll only go by slower.

She hears the sound of kids' feet on the stairs, and rolls over in bed to look at her alarm clock. Half past eight. Definitely bedtime.

Then nothing. No noise at all. Holy shit, is that even possible? She takes her headphones off to listen closer. Yep, somehow, perfect Genya has managed to get all Zoya's cousins in bed with no fuss. It's a goddamn miracle.

She waits a few minutes before settling down with a book, pyjamas on. But of course, because this night just had to get worse, the minute she gets comfortable, there's a knock on her bedroom door.

"What?" she demands.

The door opens slightly, and Zoya sits up to see Genya poking her head in. "I just wanted to say that I know you don’t trust me, or whatever, but there are some leftovers in the kitchen if you wanted some. Or I can order food. I don’t mind."

Goddamn. It would be so much easier to hate Genya if she wasn’t so nice all the time.

"How’d you get the kids in bed so quick?" she asks, avoiding the offer Genya had made.

She laughs. "Oh, I played a game with them. Kids tend to have a lot of energy at bedtime, but you can divert that by getting them ready for bed and doing something energetic at the same time."

"Shit. That’s smart. I’ll, uh, tell their parents, I guess. I won’t say it was your idea."

"Why not? Afraid they’ll ask me to come back and babysit again?" Genya says, raising one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

Zoya flushes. "Yes, actually."

"Really?" Genya takes a step into Zoya’s room, closing the door behind her. "Has it been that bad?"

She takes another step in.

"I just - I don’t want you here!" she says, then winces. Shit. If she’d woken up the kids -

Genya freezes.

"Oh. Is that really how you feel?"

Zoya’s never seen Genya cry. She’s not sure anybody ever has. She wasn’t aware Genya could cry. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but she’s never seen Genya express any kind of emotion at all. But she’s crying now.

Perfect Genya has tears running down her face from her perfect golden eyes.

Because of Zoya. Because of what Zoya said to her.

Shit.

She stands up and gets out of bed. Walks over to Genya.

What does she do now?

She tentatively rests a hand on Genya’s shoulder, but gets shrugged off immediately.

"If you don’t want me here, I won’t come back. Your family should be here in a few hours. We can stay out of each other’s way until then," Genya says, somehow holding it together enough to say all of that.

Zoya shakes her head. "That’s not what I meant - I mean, I did mean that, but I don’t think -"

What Genya’s suggesting is exactly what her plan had been up until that moment. But maybe that isn’t good enough. Maybe avoiding each other won’t fix this bitter hatred. Jealousy, Zoya supposes. She’s jealous of Genya.

"No, it’s fine. You hate me. I’m used to it," Genya says fiercely. "I just thought since I’m here, you could at least try to be civil and pretend like you don’t hate my guts for no good reason."

"No good reason?" Zoya spits incredulously. "Genya, I have every reason to hate you."

"Let’s hear them, then," Genya challenges. "Tell me why. I can handle it."

"You’re still fucking crying. I don’t think you can handle it."

"No, I want to know why you hate me when all I’ve done for the past three years is try to make you like me!" Genya blurts out, then claps a hand over her mouth.

What.

What the fuck.

"Huh."

"Nothing. Forget I said anything," Genya babbles, turning to leave. "This never happened."

Suddenly, things are starting to make a lot more sense.

Zoya walks out of her bedroom door. "Well, I’m going to go eat leftovers. If you want to stay there crying in my bedroom, go ahead. But if you want to actually talk about what you just said, you can come join me."

Genya follows her down the stairs, thank god. They walk in silence to the kitchen, where the bowl of pasta is still sitting on the countertop with a serving spoon in. Zoya grabs it and brings it over to the table, getting a couple of smaller spoons from the drawer as Genya sits down.

"So? Are we going to talk?"

"Uh. Do we have to?" Genya says nervously.

"Yeah, I think we’re long overdue for a talk."

"Then sure."

Zoya sighs. "Let’s start with what you said a minute ago. What do you mean that you’ve been trying to get me to like you?"

Genya blushes a deep crimson. "I mean that I’ve… been trying to impress you, I guess? This is awkward."

"Oh. Like. As in. Impress me how? And why?"

Maybe it says something that Zoya lost the ability to string a sentence together the moment Genya said that she wanted to impress her.

"Like, you liked soccer, so I signed up for soccer so I could be good at something you liked. Shit like that, I guess."

"Oh."

"I thought I was being so obvious that I liked you."

"Oh."

She laughs nervously. "Are you okay? You sound like you're having an existential crisis."

"I kind of am."

Genya rests one hand over Zoya's, and she almost jumps out of her skin.

Hm.

"I guess I wasn't as obvious as I thought?"

"No! I thought you were just trying to sabotage me with everything!" Zoya says wildly. "What do you mean you've liked me since freshman year?"

"I mean I've always liked you," Genya says with a shrug. "Your confidence. The way you don't take shit."

Is she dreaming? Did she fall asleep in bed or something?

"Hold on. Liked as in romantically?"

"Yes, Zoya," she sighs. "As in romantically. And I get it if that makes you hate me even more."

Zoya pauses. It would be so easy to break Genya's heart in this moment. She watches as she wipes a stray tear from her cheek.

But holy shit, Genya likes her.

When Zoya realized that the beautiful girl in her math class freshman year was actually a bitch, Genya liked her. When Zoya stormed out of soccer practice because Genya got picked as captain, Genya liked her - she'd been trying to impress her.

And, well, maybe when Zoya auditioned for Lydia in Beetlejuice in sophomore year because she knew Genya was, she'd been trying to impress her. Trying to somehow get closer to beautiful, perfect Genya.

Maybe it's not normal that she's always thinking about how unfairly gorgeous her supposed enemy is.

"It doesn't."

Genya looks up at Zoya, golden eyes brimming with tears. "You don't hate me more because of this?"

Zoya swallows her pride and meets Genya's eyes. She really is beautiful.

"Actually, I feel the same."

"You're lying to me," Genya says immediately. "This is some kind of revenge thing."

"No. Genya, I promise it isn't. I know I've given you no reason to trust me, but… I wouldn't say I liked you if I didn't. And I do. Like you, that is. The first thing I ever thought about you was that you were beautiful."

Genya frowns. "Just beautiful? Zoya, I don't want -"

"But you're more than beautiful. You're smart, you're bold and outspoken, you're talented, you're warm and friendly and just - you're fucking perfect, and I think I've been in love with you since the moment you walked into our math class freshman year." The words just spill out of her, and she can feel her cheeks getting redder as she goes on.

"Zoya."

"Yeah?"

"You're an idiot. You know that, right?"

She laughs. "Yeah, I know that now. Be my girlfriend anyway?"

Genya's breath catches. "Of course."

And so Zoya leans in to kiss her, but -

"Zoya? Miss Genya? I feel sick," comes a voice from down the hall, and they both spring back and jump up.

This time Zoya watches as Genya consoles her third-youngest cousin, Sumaiya, and gets her back to bed in record time. Genya might just be the best thing that ever happened to the whole Nabri family, and Zoya's definitely going to make sure she gets invited back as soon as possible.

When they've made sure all the kids are safely asleep, they go back downstairs to the sitting room and sit next to each other on the couch. It's been almost five hours since Genya got here - since Zoya was sat sulking on this exact couch.

"So where were we?" Zoya asks, keeping her voice low.

Genya smiles and blushes. "I don't know, why don't you show me?"

When Zoya leans forward and kisses Genya, this time there are no kids to interrupt. And when her family gets back, she's sorry to see Genya go. The only thing keeping her from clinging onto her and begging her not to leave is Genya's promise to plan a date.

A perfect first date for my perfect girlfriend, she'd said. And while Zoya doesn't necessarily agree that she's the perfect one in the relationship, she's definitely looking forward to seeing what kind of first date her perfect girlfriend is going to come up with.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Liveblogging notes for ep 14.

What an absolutely fucking WILD ride that was.

It will be nice to have my brain back. Extra-long episode, twice as many notes as usual.

Fascinating scene between Porsche and Vegas about what's going to happen next. Vegas predicting action on the part of the minor family and promising not to let anything happen to Pete.

Porsche having more memories, now of his mother. Freedom, strength, immortality. Good gifts.

Deliberately trying to trigger a flashback now, to remember what happened?

Rewind to the aftermath of the bombshell with Korn and Porsche (and Kinn).

How could you do this is the same reaction Porsche had to the revelation of Vegas' plotting. For all the constant main/minor family mentions, he is literally the only character who actually elevates familial relationships.

(Which is why, fun as it would no doubt have been to have more scenes among the siblings, it would have been thematically inappropriate. In order to ensure control, Korn destroyed his own family.)

So this is Korn's version of the story: Korn asked Porsche's father to let Nampheung come back to the main house to protect her, he refused, and Gun shot him. Enter Nampheung, who fainted and later committed suicide. While this validates my "Nampheung is his king piece" theory, it is also obviously fake. (I think it says a lot about Korn that he thinks this is believable.)

Soft, soft, soft. Korn admits to having sent Thee to look after the newly orphaned brothers, not knowing about his gambling problem (?), apologizes.

Collapses.

So now we get the waiting scene; see above, the only time we see the three kids together. I have been intrigued by gifsets of this, not least because Kinn is fidgeting, presumably dying for a drink or a cigarette. Kim putting it out there; he can't be distracted, gotta focus on the family now. Interesting positioning, the older and younger close together, Kinn off a bit from both of them, expression communicating almost nothing.

Bad news. Khun upset. Kinn visibly shaken for two whole seconds, although whether it's about Korn or himself we'll never know. Kim doesn't seem to have any reaction at all, but looks at Kinn, comforts Khun. Just in case we missed that note of isolation, Kinn walks out of frame alone. (I can't help but think of him asking Porsche a couple of episodes ago if Porsche really thought that he liked this life.)

Gun enjoying a cigar. So much for the minor house treating its people better. Word is that Korn was poisoned. Now is the time to strike.

Kinn alone, polishing that gun. I love how they blend his shirt with the colors of the city behind him. Chan reports cause of death: poison. Also someone's loyalty is wavering toward the minor family. (Chan is in on this, then? He's almost the only piece Korn has left on the board now -- almost. Pushing Kinn toward the war.)

Porsche at home with his gun and his shirt blending into the background. I love you, camera people. Phone call from... Vegas? Time to make your choice, and we're square now.

Gun is happier than he has ever been. Kinn is not happy, but he's prepared.

First meeting with Kinn at the head of the table. I hate this so much for him. Getting pushback from all the branch heads, who think he should hand control over to Gun, maybe just for a little while.... Apparently none of them watched episode 1; my only question was how many of them he was going to shoot.

Minor family gathering the troops. Gun and Vegas pull up to the main house with their whole bunch, Chan prepared to go out honorably. Lots of shooting, Chan demonstrating why he is in charge of this place by taking out like twelve guys. Gun hands Vegas a machine gun and lets him go in first. (I don't think he's really got your welfare in mind with that move, dude.)

Gun stays behind and shoots Chan some more. Chan gets off one last phone call to warn Kinn (as if all of the GUNFIRE IN THE LOBBY was not a clue) and having been shot like six times wants a cigarette before he dies.

In case of intra-family assault, do not use the elevators. God damn there are going to be a lot of openings in personnel.

Finally, a few people (including Kinn) who understand the concept of cover in a gunfight. Pol has been shot. The weapons desk lady dual-wielding like a BAMF. Porsche to the rescue?! Taking time to chat with Kinn about who poisoned who and who killed whose parents. Kinn needs to know, whose side is Porsche on? Main or minor?

THIRD OPTION BABY! Nobody else in this matters to Porsche (no wonder Kinn's so horny right now I mean fuck, as declarations go that's pretty damn hot and also he looks amazing and just saved Kinn's life again).

Vegas has a lock on the person he thinks he hates most in the world. (Actually a tie between himself and his dad but whatever.)

Battle couple is one of the only tropes I have any time for, so you'd better believe I'm enjoying this. Kinn's suit still looks immaculate, although his hair is tragically mussed. Unfortunately they are outnumbered and that will eventually tell.

Ooh, ouch. Porsche down. Vegas about get everything he wants in the world (well, excluding a tied-up Pete). Porsche prepared to die. Arm and Khun with a vital moment of distraction and a bomb. And then some more bombs. They really leveled everybody up for this finale, I'm loving it.

MEANWHILE Chay is still hanging out at Yok's where Porsche left him to keep him out of the way when everything went down, re-dying his hair and playing video games and completely unaware that Kim has posted himself as guard at the bar. I'm feeling very validated in my chess piece parallels right now. Chay remains oblivious while Kim destroys these guys. And then Kim just... leaves? OMG kid what even are you?

[Kim says he doesn't have to ask who sent them -- but the answer is not given on screen, suggesting that if it were spoken it would have given something away. We have seen a couple of hints that Kim understands Korn better than the other two do. Is Kim the only piece who has any idea what game he's playing in?]

You killed Erika?! Gun you bastard. Kinn trying to negotiate so Porsche doesn't shot, not even a hint of pride or saving face. Gun just wants to keep Porsche safe and straighten up the story.

Same memory from Porsche's childhood, Gun version: His and Korn's father killed Nampheung's family and took her to raise (as what a hostage? very Arthurian). And now they're hunting down dad's family as well. Korn shot dad. The dialog changes places. Enter Nampheung, faint. Korn giving orders, Gun distraught, has to be dragged away from her.

This, I suspect, is also fake, but it's interesting. More thoughts later no doubt, but most immediately obvious is that we have never seen Korn use direct violence, ever. Also interests me that in Korn's version no one touches, while in this one people do. (Korn never touches any of his kids.) Gun's is much more detailed - is that just because he thinks that makes it more convincing...?

Even though I was spoiled for all of this, I am fucking cackling with glee because "and the princess turned out to have been royalty all along" is the absolute hoariest of ancient tropes, and I can't believe the writers did this for Porsche.

Gun then says that Korn killed Nampheung.

One of Khun and Arm's robots breaks the standoff; Gun runs.

Vegas and Pete faceoff; Vegas lowers his gun and gets shot a few times by the other guards who are amazingly still alive at this point. Pete with some punching. Vegas isn't really trying, would prefer if Pete is the one to kill him.

Pete/Vegas, everybody: at least one of them badly injured, covered with blood, and kissing in a room full of corpses. Accept no substitutes.

Exit Vegas. Exit Pete. Honestly this is Shakespeare levels of "everybody fucking dies".

Enter Korn (not dead) accessing a secret room. Enter Gun, Porsche and Kinn still following him. Korn and Nampheung (also not dead!).

Porsche is stunned, and I think Kinn has suffered catastrophic hard drive failure, just WHAT THE HELL DAD?

She's hiding behind Korn. (Admittedly if my son turned up covered and blood and weapons I might be a little alarmed.)

Gun with that same question, how could you do this? Mind, we know Gun has zero family feeling that is not composed of rage and disappointment (at least that's a feeling? Where Korn has none...?). Ooh, Korn has a gun. Says he was protecting her, blames Gun -- says Gun killed Pat and raped Nampheung, that she tried to kill herself and Korn saved her.

Gotta keep escalating the story, huh? Korn if any of that was true you would have just killed him already. Bzzt. And now you have killed him, so that is within the realm of your options, fascinating -- what was he about to say that you were that desperate no one hear? Korn promising to take care of Vegas and Macau ummmm yeah how about you not do that.

Nampheung faints again. She has a talent for that. Porsche trying to figure out where the truth is, can't blame him. Korn still insisting that he was protecting Porsche and Chay. Kinn (still) not about to allow Porsche to shoot his father.

Korn trying to take control of the conversation again, again with that soft lead, takes the blame, admits to lying. Everything I did, I did for you ooh the manipulation classics never go out of style. Korn's only chance to keep the game going now is for Porsche to continue not to realize what the game is.

How Kinn keeps half-reaching out for Porsche until he puts down the gun. :(

And here's Vegas like the bad penny he surely is (guess that clairvoyance works both ways), Pete a few steps behind him, the others a few steps behind him.

Sorry Vegas, you should have been the one to kill him. Korn even managed to take that. (Pete's father is dead, too, right? So he might be understanding a lot here.) Vegas with his gun on Korn, everybody ready to shoot Vegas until Korn orders them out. Oh, he's confident that he's got this one. Tells Vegas that he'll take of him and Macau.

Which it looks like he does. Exit Vegas without a word; Pete quits on the spot.

Take care of him how many times has that been said, about which characters? Hm.

Exit Pete. Vegas has found his way to the pool (there's the water again) to have a breakdown about his father being dead and well, everything. (Seriously Wichipas, how are you making me feel sorry for him?!) Pete interrupts before he can kill himself. I'm here Pete says, just like Kinn said to Porsche. I've got nothing left - echo of the scene in the safe house.

This dialog is wild. Wait who just shot Vegas?! Hope it was nobody we like, because Pete just killed him.

Back to Korn et al. Nampheung conveniently has brain damage/memory loss from "the pills she took." Korn with the absolutely last-ditch desperation play of putting Porsche in charge of the minor family. Ooh, nice touch, having Kinn give him the ring.

Chay finally turns around and finds all of the bodies LOL. Kim you loser, I adore you. Oh, he did not leave after all, he's just moved his standing guard to upstairs so he can smoke.

One month passes - three months then since ep 1. Porsche on the job, in minor green now which is weird after seeing him in black and white for the whole season. We need for him to get his ears pierced or something, he's not wearing nearly enough jewelry. And I hate to say but I am not a fan of what they did with his hair for this scene.

So symmetrical though. So married.

Vegas is recuperating somewhere from having been shot so much; Pete is keeping an eye on him.

Chay playing his guitar. Kim wrote him a song. Chay crying just kills me.

Back to the wedding. Reversal of episode 1 positions, nice. Callback to ep 7, nice.

Korn looking at the photo Khun sent him of his son and son-in-law, smiling, saying that history is only written by the victor. Nampheung is painting when Porsche brings Chay to see her - birds in reversed black and white, echoing the phoenix picture from Porsche's memory (which he brought!) and the chessboard. This is a very unsettling family hug.

Post-credit Pete/Vegas in the hospital.

Aw, Vegas did finally learn the "if you love something" bit. And again with nothing left. I'll have to think a little bit about that dialog and the undoing of (some of) what was said by the pool? Guys Macau is right there ahem? Wedding #2 is appropriately weird.

[sneak-a-cat]

made a joke about being trans to my younger step sister who kept referring to me solely as her sister. the joke was an attempt to remind her that i'm pangender, being told i was her sister or "the closest thing" she had to one, it was pretty uncomfortable. it makes me antsy to be seen as so feminine without anything else mixed in. i just don't like it.

course she already has a complex relationship with having a sister as one of her brothers is trans, and it came up in conversation that she didn't really have any, idk, feminine peers in her household before? and she listed her older brother, and the youngest and made no mention of her previously mentioned trans middle brother, so i tried to remind her "hey i'm trans too, i'm 99% sure i actually won't be able to relate to you as fellow females or whatever the fuck your trying to imply here" without, yknow, saying that since she is quite a bit younger than me, but old enough (12) that she should have gotten my incredibly heavy handed hint about how she didn't mention middle brother in her list

i know she's just wee but she frustrates me so much, she desperately wants me to fill this mythical role of older sister that i am just not capable of for a variety of reasons nor would i feel comfortable doing so for a whole host of other ones both of which meet in the middle saying in big bold text "i'm fucking trans"

one of the reasons this makes me so uncomfortable is that she is clearly trying to fill the 'gap' her middle brother left when he transitioned and her 'fix' for this is boxing me into feminine ideals and using me to feel like a big mature girl who talks to her 'older sister' to solve problems, and she heavily implied she lacked the ability to relate to her brothers due to differences in puberty which is just. no. i would not feel comfortable discussing my experiences actually, and i don't like how she feels this kinship with me and entitlement to my experiences purely because of my biological sex

i feel way more comfortable in the middle ground as sibling rather than sister, or even brother, both gendered terms feel too far if i'm honest, which is peculiar for the masculine one, i can be iffy about feminine terms but pretty comfortable using most masculine ones

she treats me like i'm the key to some sort of milestone, i try to talk to her about things other than the fact that we happen to share a biological sex but she generally manages to bring it back to "were both girls" and, i mean, she barely even tries to get to know me. i think she prefers to version of me in her head since the real me snaps at her in the kitchen when she keeps looking at me, the real me doesn't have time to talk to any of them since i'm busy with other things and she seems to take it personally, the real me sometimes doesn't really want to be their older step sibling. the one question she has asked me, twice btw, unrelated to my "being a girl" is "what's your favourite colour" which is not a crap question because it can lead to an interesting talk. except. well, except for it can't lead to anything of substance when she gets insulted when i say "i don't have one, i like seeing how beautiful any colour can look when they are treated right and put in the right hands" it doesn't lead anywhere when i get steam rolled over and ignored only for her to jubilantly claim "pink is my favourite colour" and then stop talking and look at me as if i fucked this conversation

and i know, i fucking know she's 12 i'm the one who should be making sure our interactions run smoothly but i can barely carry a conversation with anyone never mind a 12 year old who is only interested in one aspect of myself which makes me really uncomfortable sometimes, especially when it's highlighted in such a way and constantly referenced

like fucking hell i'm fine looking as femme as i do, i know my body will always tip people off and i am completely fine with that! i like my body! no dysphoria there! (unless in some clothes) but interacting with her makes me wish i didn't look like this cause maybe if i was less like this and more obviously some flavour of trans she would be less hooked on 'getting to know me' without prompting a single worthwhile conversation about either of us

and i know, its a complicated situation, its fucking difficult to get to know people in a new family unit like this but i fucking try, i try and socialise with the kids when i'm able to using card games since i don't have to talk about anything serious then, its not the best but i am fucking trying to bond with them but the age gap is too fucking difficult at times, i mean for christs sake i'm friends with my step mum! i can bloody do it just not with them its too much

especially when one of them is incredibly desperate to bond but so incredibly shit at showing it

i'm going to have to have a conversation with my dad about how she treats my gender, which might be difficult since he and my step mum are weak for me bonding with the kids as they know how difficult i find it, specially how overwhelming it is to have your opinion valued far far too much (only thing its good for is being strict in card games, if they get too loud (ow) then i just raise my voice a bit and they settle pretty quick), so telling him might be a bit upsetting for both of us cause i hate to disappoint him...