#and fresh off the boat

[kugisakiss]

i get to use dead memes from 2017 because, like frieren, things from 6 years ago feels just like yesterday to me

[whump-in-the-closet]

the flinch that betrays a defiant whumpee’s terror

the curse that’s broken off by a plea

a small shudder that they fail to suppress

the choked breathing in between the sarcastic comments

what good is their defiance when whumper kicks their legs out from under them, leaving them on their hands and knees?

The blood on the concrete is their own and whumper kicks them when they’re down.

“Do you think I’d forgotten?” Whumper smiles and leans down. “Do you think I’d forgotten how to make you bleed?”

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Natasha: [accidentally hits Tony with her car]

Tony: You hit me with your car.

Natasha: You hit my car with your body.

[unicornblossom13]

Mihawk [to Zoro]: If you see Red Hair, give him this face for me. [puts on a neutral expression and lifts his hand, palm facing upwards] He’ll know what it means.

[Later]

Zoro: Speaking of Hawkeye, he asked me to give you a message. [repeats the expression and gesture from earlier]

Shanks [sharp intake of breath]: The neutral face of displeasure.

[incorrectbatfam]

Kory: Wow, I wish I had something like the both of you. What’s more romantic than meeting the love of your life and living happily ever after?

Jason: We met at a seafood restaurant waiting in line for the bathroom.

Kory: I bet it was love at first sight.

Roy: We both had food poisoning.

[harveywritings92]

Ghost: And if you see R/n, give her this message.

Ghost: *neutral face*

Ghost: She’ll know what it means.

(Later)

König: Oh, and Ghost told me to give you this message.

König: *neutral face*

R/n: Oh no, The neutral face of displeasure.

{Yes, Ghost and König still had their masks on while doing this.]

[yaoiconnoisseur]

I like to think that on the rare occasions Yuuri and Victor aren’t joined by the hip and are unable to communicate via phone Yuri ends up being the messenger.

(I also like to think that Yuuri is the responsible one in the relationship and gives Victor this face fairly often.)

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Splinter: Raphael, you shouldn't be fighting with your brothers. It's you guys against the world. You're all each other has.

Leo: Sensei, your brother's on the phone.

Splinter: Tell that bastard to GO TO HELL!

[crybabycunt]

Yelena: I'm a woman of action. You have to act first and learn to apologize later, like I do.

Kate: You never apologize.

Yelena: Well, I would if I had ever been wrong.

[incorrect-legendborn-quotes]

Sel: *making a sandwich*

Valec: You’re not doing it right.

Sel: Sorry?

Valec: Your sandwich. The mustard needs to go on the bread first to form a moisture barrier between it and the tomato. Tear it down. Start again.

Sel:

[godsofhumanity]

Zeus, to Athena: Athena, you shouldn't be fighting with your siblings. It's you guys against the world. You're all each other has. Hermes: Father, Lord Poseidon is on the phone. Zeus: Tell that bastard to GO TO HELL!

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

fnaf cowboy au where Henry and Bill are out in the middle of nowhere doing cowboy shit for extended periods of time and Bill fast talks his way into having sex with him. like theres no people for MILES let alone any women it's not like meeting there needs is wrong or anything and Henry just shrugs and says sure.

[profeminist]

Happy Lao ban Santa Day!

[columboscreens]

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: *making a sandwich*

Alfred: You’re not doing it right.

Bruce: Sorry?

Alfred: Your sandwich. The mustard needs to go on the bread first to form a moisture barrier between it and the tomato. Tear it down. Start again.

Bruce:

[harveywritings92]

[After R/n and Horangi had a fight, R/n goes to her kitchen to get a drink she opens her fridge door grabs a can pops it open and takes a drink she closes the fridge and Horangi’s quietly standing there.]

Horangi: I'm sorry for what happened earlier.

[R/n jumps back startled and chokes on her drink.]

R/n: How did you get in here?!

Horangi: I'm not here to discuss you lack of home security, I'm here to apologize.