#and like. i had no real sense of how quickly makeup is used up so i had so much that i could never realistically use before it went bad?? i

[xx-justsomeguy-xx]

thinking abt how much my makeup collection has minimized and shrunk down through the years bc for some reason youtube decided to show me some old t*ti w*stbrook videos while on autoplay

[mclqren]

STARTING ANEW ★ CL16

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!ex girlfriend!reader ; niall horan x fem!reader

SUMMARY ✦ when your relationship with charles ends up falling through, you find comfort in a certain singer's arms [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing, some hate comments here and there but idk if that's actually a warning

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ to preface: i usually don't write for anyone other than f1 drivers & football players, but i liked the idea of this so i decided to go ahead with it! for the plot of this, charlotte & charles broke up september 2022, and the dating timeline for charles & y/n is nov 2022-dec 2023. the logistics honestly make not a lot of sense but BARE WITH ME PLEASE. the fc i've used is hailee steinfeld, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by yourbsf, charlottesiine, and 194,310 others

tagged yourbsf

yourusername bigger and better things are coming in 2024 🪩

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user4 oh she is glowinggg!!

user5 y/n is living her best life and we love to see it!

yourbsf nyc was sooo much fun w you 😘

yourusername had the best timeee 💗💗

user6 SHE'S IN NEW YORK RN??

user7 OKAY SHE'S STRAIGHT FIREE 🔥🔥

charlottesiine you're sooo perfect! 🤍

yourusername all you cha!! 💗💗

user8 MOTHERS SPOTTED TOGETHER??

yourusername

( caption one: the only cha i need 😘 | caption two: night out 🌃 )

liked by charles_leclerc, charlottesiine, and 210,998 others

tagged charlottesiine

yourusername idk this weekend's been kinda fun!

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user13 THIS FRIENDSHIP IS SOMETHING IM ABSOLUTELY HERE FOR.

user14 charlotte x y/n WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!

user15 okay but the mysterious guy in the third pic??

user16 she's in another relationship??

user17 how has she already moved on that quickly tf... neither of them deserved charles.

user18 shut uppp!! you have no clue about y/n's personal life, for all we knew that literally COULD be charles, or it could be someone else! she should be able to do whatever she wants without some troll deciding they have a relevant opinion ❤️

charlottesiine the best weekend everrr!!

yourusername love you 💗

user19 CUTIESSS

user20 the way charles liked this ☹️☹️

user21 missing them hours

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,081,007 others

charles_leclerc testing is all doneee - let's smash the race next week!

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user22 MY OH MYYYY

user23 he knows what he's doing w those pictures of himself

user24 no real im sweating over here.

user25 sooo...are you ever going to mention the breakup??

user26 or the new pics of y/n and her mystery man??

user27 to everyone asking charles to speak on his breakup: leave him alone! it's clear him and y/n are still on good terms as they're still liking each other's insta posts, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're together! they're people too, i think we all need to just leave them alone to process their breakup ❤️

user28 okay but y/n clearly is over him?? she's already processed the breakup, so why shouldn't he have?

user29 everyone needs to honestly just leave them be. this is sooo old rn and they're probably tired of it.

carlossainz55 all ready for the new season 🏎️🏎️

charles_leclerc 👊👊

liked by charles_leclerc, niallhoran, and 190,201 others

yourusername sitting still, looking pretty! 😘💗

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user30 OH SHE'S STRAIGHT FIREEE

user31 THE DRESS THE MAKEUP IT'S ALL SO PERFECT

user32 i needdd a grwm asap ur gorgeous girl!!

user33 okay but the second pic??

user34 we already knew she was over charles?

user33 yeahhh its just so strange to see her soft launching another guy

user35 idc what anyone says i LOVE that y/n has found another man she's happy with!!

user36 sooo real for this!! she deserves all the happiness in the world 💗

charlottesiine 😍😍

yourusername chaaa!! 💗

yourusername

( caption: heyy just came on here to say that me and charles are still broken up. i’ve seen a lot of rumours floating around the internet about the nature of our relationship, and while it is no one’s business except our own, i would like to just say that the break up, as previously stated, WAS mutual & we are still friends. mine and charlotte’s friendship also seems to be coming under a lot of fire recently, for whatever reason. she is an amazing woman and has been so supportive during this time of my life, so i kindly ask you stop bashing us on social media for simply being friends. thank you to all of the people sending me lovely messages - ur support isn’t going unnoticed 💗 )

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tagged niallhoran

yourusername the best thing life could've thrown at me 💗

comments for this post have been limited

niallhoran and who's that handsome fella 😘

yourusername just some annoying irish guy i met, idk how to get rid of him

yourbsf Y/N!! 😍

yourusername MY REAL LOVER 😘

charles_leclerc ❤️

yourusername 💗💗

charlottesiine me when i have to third wheel now ☹️

yourusername no neverrr ur my baby angel he can third wheel us 😍

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[chrysalind]

sweet and sour

pairing: suna rintarou x reader wc: 880 tags: fluff, fake dating, (real) jealousy, party setting ofc, reader wears makeup and is shorter than suna

Sometime last Wednesday, Suna Rintarou had discovered inner peace.

It had been after his last linear algebra exam, during his third consecutive hour of mourning, when it finally occurred to him that it didn't matter. Of course, it mattered in the sense that it would affect his GPA, and as a result, his job prospects, career, ability to be approved for a mortgage and become a homeowner, and of course his retirement. But in a more 'in the moment' sense, it didn't matter at all.

This was because, he'd rationalized, it had already happened and there was no use agonizing over it after the fact. And so, for a few short days, Suna abided by the belief that if he couldn't change something, he simply wouldn't bring himself to care about it.

So when you drag him into the tiny bathroom of someone's apartment with a swipe of glitter under your left eye and a frazzled expression on your pretty face, Suna is fully prepared to put his new philosophy into action.

The door shuts behind you, muffling the din of music and people and he tries not to think about how precariously close your drink is to the edge of the sink when you set it down.

"I need a favour," you begin, wringing your wrists as he tries not to fall backwards into the shower. It is, in fact, a very tiny bathroom.

"Nah," he replies, managing to right himself against the towel rack.

"'Nah'?" you repeat, jutting out your bottom lip. "But you don't even know what I'm going to ask."

He rationalizes that it can't be anything worth putting in the effort for. Therefore would it even make sense for him to hear you out? He thinks not.

However, as he eyes the door behind you, your face bobs into view, obstructing his path to escape.

"Please," you whine, dropping down from a tippy toe. "Just hear me out."

He glances once at his reflection in the mirror before his gaze slides up to the ugly white light on the ceiling.

"Fine."

"Yes," you exclaim, your elbow narrowly missing the cup. Suna looks away.

"Okay, so my ex is here with his new girlfriend," you begin, your hands moving fast, "and so I would really, really be so grateful if you could maybe, possibly, pretend that we're together."

He blinks. "Nah."

Your face falls. "But I'm gonna look like a loser out there."

He wonders if the glitter is supposed to draw attention to your eyes. If so, why just one side?

"That doesn't even make any sense," he says. "No one cares that you're single." After all, no one cares that he's single. Except for himself, sometimes, although, he's learning to let go of that.

You're pouting again. "I care. And I'm pretty sure that he cares. Chiharu said that he told the other guys on the soccer team that he was bringing her because he knew that I'd be here. Like, isn't that kind of fucked up?"

Something like irritation wriggles in his brain but he quickly shuts that down. After all, what can he really change about the situation? Even if he does pretend to be your boyfriend for tonight, your ex will continue to be a convincing piece of evidence that Neanderthals might still walk amongst modern humans. And even then, you'll still be hung up on him and things between you two will just stay the same. So why should he bother?

"I'm gonna pass," he says dryly, squeezing past you to get to the door. Your elbow brushes against the cup and it falls, clattering into the sink and splashing red liquid down the sides.

"Just tell him to go fuck himself or something," he shrugs, before twisting the doorknob. "Or just pretend he's not there at all."

"But Rin," you pout as he lets the chaos of the party flood into the small space, "I thought we were friends."

And you are friends, he thinks, as he shoulders his way back through the crowd. That's the problem.

That's the fucking problem.

So when he spots you, fifteen minutes later, with your back up to a wall and that Cro-Magnon specimen crowding you, he thinks it's finally time to seriously reconsider his philosophy.

And sometime in the five steps it takes to cross the room does he finally come to the conclusion that enlightenment just isn't for him.

"Hey, angel," he says as he turns you around to face him. Your lips are parted in surprise and the glitter reflects fuchsia and gold in the low light.

He's acutely aware that the two of you are not alone, but he can't bring himself to look away. Something like a second epiphany dawns on him.

"Sorry it took a while," he murmurs as he leans down to meet your gaze.

"But better late than never, right?"

Sometime last Wednesday, Suna Rintarou had discovered inner peace.

But right now, tonight, as you let him kiss you in front of all the people you know, he decides that inner peace is entirely overrated.

[pollymorgan]

Teacher Negan - The Football Game - Part 4

Warnings: Of course, there's still a big age difference and Negan is an absolute asshole. Smut!

The last days of my summer vacation were then massively ruined for me. A few days before school started, I had an appointment in the secretary's office to clarify organizational matters and also received my schedule, with the respective teacher and room. Still in the office, I took a quick look at the schedule and felt like my heart stopped when I saw that my Monday was supposed to end with a double period of sports. And with the teacher 'Negan Smith'. Fate really wasn't kind to me! I tried not to show anything, even though thoughts were running wild in my head.

Should I get a doctor's note, an exemption for sports for some trivial reason? Or just skip? On the first day at the new school. Or ask the school management if it would be possible to join another sports class. But with what justification? None of this is a solution. At least not in the long run. So I decided to just accept my fate. I'll just behave as normally as possible, because he will do the same. What else could we do? But this realization didn't make it any easier.

- First day of school -

So today is the day. My first day at my new high school. I would probably be terribly excited to meet all the new students if my head had room for it. To be honest, my thoughts are only about how it will be to see Negan again in the last double period of the day. As my teacher.

Luckily, my classmates are really cool. I am warmly welcomed in the class and two nice girls immediately take me under their wings. Within a short time, I seem to know everything about the boys and girls in my new class and have already shed some tears from laughing.

Being so positively received eases me and distracts me somewhat from what awaits me today. The lessons are not really strenuous yet. Mostly just organizational things for the last year of high school, so the morning flies by.

Already on the way to the gym, my stomach tightens. I expect Negan to suddenly appear in front of me at any moment and I imagine in my head over and over again how it will be. How it will feel. How he reacts and how I react.

But I finally made it to the changing room without running into him. Which only gives me a brief respite.

"Mister Smith is amazing, you will love him!!!" Mary, a girl from my class, declares next to me as we are getting changed.

This sentence pulls me out of my thoughts again.

"Oh yeah?" I say, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

"Oh yes, he's a really cool teacher ..okay, you have to get used to his sense of humor at first, but he's really fair and also quite hot, ... so, if he were like 20 years younger, I mean of course ..." she grins at me and I try to force a smile back.

"I'm just really glad he's back regularly. Last year his wife had chemotherapy and he was often absent to be there for her. Kind of sweet, right?" Mary continues excitedly and incessantly. Her words almost choke me. His wife just survived cancer and he jumps into bed with me? In his damn marriage bed! What kind of huge asshole is this man turning out to be?

"Everything okay?" my classmate asks me now a little worried. My expression must have been pretty shocked.

I try to recover, "Uh, yeah sure, go ahead ... I just have to go to the bathroom real quick!". While I speak my sentence, I quickly walk towards the bathroom.

"Okay, but hurry up. Mister Smith really doesn't like being late ..." she calls after me.

As quickly as possible, I open one of the stalls. Pretty disoriented, I slump against the door and run my palms over my face. If only I had never been to that stupid football game! I try to pull myself together and take a few deep breaths, then I leave the stall again and stand at the sink. Somewhat puzzled, I look at myself in the mirror. My skin is noticeably tanned and quite a lot of freckles have formed on my nose. Except for some mascara, I wear no makeup and have my hair tied back in a simple ponytail. Almost automatically, I pull my short sports shorts a bit further down and make my way to the gym.

Right on time with the bell, I enter and see my classmates sitting on a long wooden bench. Negan is crouched in front of them, apparently checking off the attendance list. I quickly walk over to them. I've played out the moment of reunion in my head so many times that I hoped it wouldn't feel so bad anymore, but the opposite was true. Even though I can only see his back so far, everything inside me tightens, especially my stomach tenses and makes me feel nauseous.

Slow ly, Negan turns to me and looks at me over his glasses with the dark black frame. He wears his hair much shorter on the sides, while his top hair is gelled back. He looks even better than I remember. Unfortunately!

Slowly, he moistens his lips with his tongue, without taking his eyes off me. "And you must be the new student! Samantha, right? Really great job to be late in your first hour!"

Is he really serious right now? I quickly squeeze onto the last bit of free bench.

"It only just rang when I was already in the gym .. I'm not late at all.." I reply somewhat defiantly.

Negan adjusts his glasses back on his nose with his index finger and then stands up with a swing. I automatically observe him from top to bottom, now that he is standing just a few meters away, in his dark blue tracksuit.

"And then so cheeky too, that's a great start!" he says, grinning provocatively, which only increases my insecurity.

"Let's see if there's more behind the big mouth. Samantha, I would like you to design the warm-up exercise for the entire class today.."

What? I look at him incredulously. Is he really trying to embarrass me? Or what is his damn plan? Not even my worst premonition for this hour was as uncomfortable as this start.

Negan claps his hands loudly and says, "Now go, 5 minutes should be enough!".

I feel the eyes of the others glued to me, so I decide to just go through with it, without thinking about it further. After all, sports has been my favorite subject since first grade, so it shouldn't be a problem to spontaneously create a short warm-up exercise. Determinedly, I stand up and stand in front of my new class. Slowly, the others also stand up and line up in a row in front of me.

"Let's start with some stretching exercises. I'll demonstrate and you follow along.."

One by one, I stretch every part of my body and am grateful that my classmates follow without any objections. My gaze wanders after a short time to Negan. He stands by the wall with his arms crossed, leaning against it, watching me. Even when I look directly at him, his eyes remain fixed on me. And I feel my knees go weak and my heart starts pounding wildly again. I quickly look away to avoid losing control completely.

After a few more exercises, I am relieved when Negan declares the warm-up over. I have already started to sweat quite a bit, which definitely is not just from the physical activity.

He then divides the whole class into different groups. There are several stations set up that we are supposed to work on within a certain time. From jump roping, to the horizontal bar, to vaulting.

Negan is constantly busy at the station where I am. At first, I tell myself it's just a coincidence and I'm imagining things. But as I continue to pay attention, it's quite clear. He only moves briefly to another group when there's a question among the students, but after a short moment, he's back near me. That's why I'm constantly tense. What's the deal? What does he want to achieve? Is he deliberately trying to provoke me? If so, he's doing a very good job.

Finally, when the school bell rings and signals the end of the double period, a feeling of relief spreads through me. The first gym class is over, leaving only countless more until the end of the school year. And if it always goes like today, I don't know how I'll cope.

Everyone rushes towards the changing room and I let myself be carried along by the small whirlwind.

"Samantha, would you be so kind and help me tidy up the stations?" With these words, I stand rooted to the spot. I stare at Negan in disbelief, but he just grins, "Please?".

The remaining students pass by me quickly. After all, it was the last lesson and everyone wanted to start their evening first.

Provocatively annoyed, I go to the other side of the gym and try to lift one of the heavy mats onto the cart.

"Don't you think we would be more productive if we did this together?" Negan amused himself and came purposefully towards me. He also grabbed the mat and let it fall loudly onto the cart.

The murmuring of my classmates was still clearly audible from the changing rooms.

Negan looks at me extensively, I can feel it, even though I try my best to avoid his gaze.

"I wanted to apologize for the call the other day, that wasn't right of me..." he suddenly says.

I almost blurt out "Apologize to your wife instead," but I swallow those words and my anger down. I don't want to say anything out of spite that I might regret shortly after. Whether he is doing it consciously or unconsciously, I cannot assess.

"Okay!" I reply curtly, hoping he won't say anything more and I can just get through this as quickly as possible.

Of course, he doesn't stay silent.

"What I said is still true.." he adds without hesitation. These words make it feel like my heart stops. Shocked, I look directly into his dark eyes, where a hint of green is hidden. I swallow hard and then shake my head in disbelief. Without saying a word, I turn and go to the jump ropes scattered on the floor to collect them.

"Where do these go?" I ask briskly, and Negan points to a small room separated from the gym by a climbing wall.

Determined, I go there and hear him following me with the mat cart. He whistles a tune loudly, overpowering even the clattering of the cart.

Feeling trapped in the small room full of sports equipment, I try to slink past him and back into the gym. But he stands directly and provocatively in my way. Our bodies are now only a few centimeters apart, and I have to look up quite high to be able to look him directly in the eyes. It is only now that I realize the enormous height difference between us. I can't decipher his gaze, but he still takes my breath away. His strong cologne brings back intimate memories of our night together. He leans his upper body back slightly to observe my whole body.

"What are you thinking about right now?" he asks in a deep, calm voice, making my lower abdomen contract.

"Nothing.." I lie hesitantly.

"Bullshit!" With that word, he grabs my upper arm and swiftly turns me around so that I am facing away from him. Then he firmly clasps my chest with his long arms and presses me against his body. Completely off balance, I let myself fall against him. I feel the scratch of his trimmed beard and his warm breath on the thin skin of my neck. Almost instinctively, I tilt my head so that he can get closer.

"How many guys got to fuck your perfect pussy after me, huh?" he whispers softly, lightly touching my ear with his lips, giving me goosebumps.

"No one!" I say firmly, which is also the truth.

"Good.." he states, satisfied, and I feel him smile, "Do you long for the feeling of my cock, sweetie? To feel how deep I was inside you...".

I nod vigorously, as I am short of breath to respond.

I automatically press my body even closer to his. The feeling of his penis, which presses harder against me, makes my lower abdomen contract uncontrollably.

His grip loosens, and he starts running his fingertips over my bare thighs. His gentle touches electrify me.

"You drive me crazy, babe.. I think you're driving me out of my mind. Can you feel how rock hard my cock is because of you? Only you can do that,..only you..." he whispers and buries his face in my shoulder.

I moan softly as I enjoy every skilled movement of his fingers inside my pants. Slowly, the intense sensation drowns out all my thoughts and worries. The only thing I can think about is how good he feels and how much I missed his touches. Surprised, I startle when he suddenly pulls his hand out of my pants. Glancing over my shoulder, I look at him, puzzled, and see him licking his index and middle fingers, wet with my arousal.

Then he grins at me, "You taste so damn good, even better than in my memory.. Come, sit on the mats...".

Determinedly, I turn to face him, maintaining eye contact, and then provocatively wag my index finger in front of his face.

"Oh no, Mr. Smith.. it's my turn today.." First, I give him a gentle kiss and then slowly kneel in front of him.

Smiling, he looks down at me and then states contentedly, "Okay, I'm definitely going to hell, but right now I'm in damn heaven!"

With both hands, I pull down his training pants, along with his underwear. Immediately, my gaze shifts from his eyes to his hard penis, which springs towards me. At the sight, my whole body tingles, and the intense feeling concentrates in my lower abdomen. The nails of my left hand cling to his hip, while my right hand grasps his shaft. I immediately feel it twitch slightly in my hand. Gently, I start to kiss his tip and elicit a light moan from Negan, which incredibly motivates me. He brushes some strands of hair away from my face that have come loose from my ponytail. As I slowly run my tongue over the entire underside of his penis, savoring every vein, until I finally reach his tip again and taste the salty flavor of his pre-cum.

"Baby, it's so hot watching you enjoy this... do you enjoy it, or?" he says, breathing heavily.

I make a confirming sound before letting him enter my mouth for the first time. His penis plunges deep into my throat, making me gasp for breath and causing Negan to groan. "Yes, just like that..."

I repeat this several times. I seal his penis tightly with my lips and feel it twitch with excitement. Briefly letting him slide out of my mouth, I am only connected to his tip by a thread of saliva. I move his shaft up and down with considerable pressure with my hand while looking up at him.

"I want you to come in my mouth.. I want to have your taste on my tongue for the rest of the day.." I beg him.

"Okay, but only if you reach into your panties now and finger yourself to climax while giving me a blowjob!" he states firmly.

Without hesitation, my left hand moves under my clothes, while I let his penis slide back into my mouth.

I am so wet that my fingers slide into me without difficulty.

Negan places his hand on the back of my head, dictating the pace. When I hear him moan my name, I feel like I am about to explode with excitement. And when I feel his sperm pumping through his penis and shooting forcefully into my mouth, my body also experiences a powerful orgasm.

[lgbtsana]

OFF THE RECORD ; AHN YUJIN ONE-SHOT

you’ve been chatting with an online friend for about 2 years, you knew them as their alias ‘ahnz’, they never posted their face but you knew almost everything about them. but, did you really know what they were saying was true?

it’s been about two years since you turned to online friends instead of real life ones. the ones you made offline were just complete assholes. it was always when you needed your real life friends the most is when you realized how fake they were.

you’d call one of your friends, lim dahye, sobbing uncontrollably, begging for her to distract you from your parents fighting. yet, all you got on response from her, “sorry, who are you again?” while you heard giggles in the background. you had considered her a closest friend, but all you received was humiliation.

the closest friend you made throughout the two years online was ahnz. the only thing you knew about them was they were a year older than you and that they, or well she, was a girl.

you had given her a nickname “hannie” and you were happy to know that she thought the nickname was cute and that she liked it.

the more the two of you talked, the closer you two got. you felt like you could trust her, although, you hadn’t met her in person. she just seemed different, not like the other people you had trusted before.

there was one night that your parents started to fight when you received a text from ahnz, you had nicknamed her in your phone as ‘hannie’ since the app you used, let you.

she had sent you a link to a girl group performance, the thumbnail had a girl with short hair poking her cheek. “she’s so pretty, her makeup looks amazing...” you spoke in awe.

you stood up to grab your wired earbuds, since you couldn’t afford wireless ones, and watched the performance. it was a very useful distraction from the fighting going on.

hannie: y/n, check out this video :o [link]

y/n: omg, they’re amazing performers!!

y/n: wish i was that good lol

hannie: don’t say that! i’m sure you’re amazing at it :(

y/n: i see their group name is ive, how do you pronounce that? like i’ve?

hannie: i hear people pronouncing it ivy or i’ve, i guess it’s a matter of preference? idk though

hannie: which member caught your eye?

y/n: hmm, the one with the short hair with bangs. she had so much charisma and just looked fierce! she’s so pretty~

after you’d sent that message, you realized ahnz went quiet. so, while you waited for a response, you decided to watch some more videos of the group she had sent you.

———

the next day, during class, you received a call from hannie. your teacher, mrs. lee, gave a stern look towards you. “no phone calls during class, miss seo.”

you nodded before answering the call, “sorry, mrs. lee. it’s... an emergency.” your quick answer made her give you a nod, “go out in the hall then, y/n.”

“hannie, what’s going on?” your concerned tone rung in her ears, “y/n, are you able to... meet up...?” she asked, her voice quiet.

“what?”

“are you able to meet up with me?”

the question hung on a string. a string that was about to snap clean in half. you felt your heartbeat increase as you weren’t sure what to answer. sure, you’ve talked to her for two years, but you’ve only thought about meeting up once.

you weren’t sure if you were ready to meet her.

“y/n?” her voice entered your senses again, making you gasp softly.

“ah, sorry-” you barely let out a whisper as you apologize quietly. “y/n, if you’re able to meet up, please come to 4-5, samseong-ro 146-gil, gangnam-gu, seoul. it should be nearby you, yeah?” you hum giving her the confirmation she needed.

“see you then, hannie.”

you walked back into class and all eyes were on you, “so?” your teacher stares you down, waiting for some kind of response.

“what?”

your teacher huffs in annoyance, “what was so important?” your thoughts quickly scramble to make up an excuse, “ah- my grandmother passed away.” you give off a weak smile to keep your act straight as your teachers eyebrows narrow.

“i thought your grandmother passed last year?” it was true, but you had an excuse up your sleeve, “that was on my mother’s side, the recent one is on my father’s.”

mrs. lee quickly gave an apology, which you accepted. she didn’t know it was a lie after all.

———

after your classes came to an end, you found yourself in front of the building that hannie suggest you meet up in. but, it was starship entertainment? you weren’t sure why she’d ask to meet up here.

you shrugged before hitting an intercom, that looked very high-tec. you watched as it lit up and noticed a very small camera, recording your presence outside.

“come in,” a female voice is heard thru the intercom as the fancy doors opened to let you in.

“oh- t-thank you...?” you struggled to sound genuine as you were still, very confused. just why did hannie want to meet here?

you hesitantly entered the tall building and nervously looked around. you felt you stood out against the rest, but not in a good way.

you felt very underdressed, everyone else looked as if they were wearing designer clothes (they probably were), you didn’t feel like you fit in.

a taller figure was approaching you with a smile and it felt like time slowed down as you took in their physique. she was nearly 6-feet tall, her smile was very charming, alluring. her hair was on the shorter side, seemed to be a wolfcut. she has a leather jacket on, seemed to be in the middle of recording something, but you weren’t totally sure.

she looked exactly like the female from the fancan video hannie had sent you. just what was hannie playing at?

“hello, are you y/n?” the tall female looked at you with the same charming smile she approached with. with a slow nod, you gave her the confirmation she needed.

“i can’t believe we’re finally meeting each other! my name is ahn yujin,” she leaned in to whisper in your ear, “you know me as hannie~” the teasing tone of her voice made you jolt back, surprised that the female was actually hannie.

“h-hannie?” your voice was failing you. the sudden surprise of learning she’s your closest online friend was big, you could barely let out your voice.

she gave a simple nod before saying, “you can call me yujin now!”. she reached for your wrist, making your pull it back without thinking.

her eyebrows furrowed and yujin looked down at the ground, “ah, i’m sorry. this must be a shock..”

you nodded, “very shocking, i mean i was just watching a fancam of you a few days ago.”

yujin let out a giggle, “i wanted to know your thoughts~” she lightly punched your arm with that same smile.

faking hurt, you grabbed your arm and yelped in pain, “you pain me, yujin!” you laughed, before noticing yujin was looking at you with wide-eyes.

“what?”

“you called me yujin this time,” her voice seemed filled with emotion. what emotion? you couldn’t read it.

you shrugged “you told me i could.”

yujin pulled you in for a tight bear hug, “this makes me so happy! i can’t wait to introduce you to the others~”

you smiled as you gave the same amount of strength into the hug, “already? we just met~” you teased as you received a pinch in response.

A/N: maybe there will be a part two? we shall find out in the future. i do like how this turned out, did you guys enjoy?

TAGS... idol!yujin x fan!reader, tooth-rotting fluff, light angst, online friends to irl friends to lovers, friends to lovers, reader becomes a fan of yujin after she introduces ive to them.

TAG LIST...

@zuritastic

[taylorslovesswifties]

BABYDOLL EP. 15

Charlotte. She's the only one of Charles' lovers I get along with.

She get over him well, even though they had only been dating for a short time. Charles went back to Alexandra at the end of the day, but Charlotte was fine. She always said that Charles was addicted to Alexandra. It was like a spell had been cast. When I thought about it, it didn't feel like I was really in love with him. It was just a huge obsession because I wanted him and I didn't get him and that made my obsession with him even bigger. And everyone around me encouraged me, no one told me to stop. Nobody said it was unhealthy. No one noticed, including me. Soon after Charlotte and Charles broke up, Charlotte and I became friends. She was really sweet, loving and understanding. She was a real angel, even though she warned me many times, I didn't come to my senses.

I couldn't let go of my obsession. Maybe I didn't want to let go. I got out of the car, handed the keys to the valet and entered the famous café in Monaco. The girls had already taken the table we had reserved. We had been seeing more of each other since I was sent away from the team, and this time Charlotte was there instead of Alexandra. Charlotte had been working on a big architecture project and hadn't been able to leave the house much lately. To be honest, we could hardly convince her. The others were either busy or had prior commitments. Me... well, unless your ultra-handsome boyfriend was halfway around the world for a race and gave you a reason to spend the whole day at home, you stayed home. While I was out, he went to the gym because he didn't want to stay home all by himself.

"Hi," I said as I hugged each of them. We quickly ordered some coffee and dessert and started talking.

"How's it going with Carlos?" Kika asked with a grin. I was just wondering when they were going to start interrogating me.

"It's going well, everything is fine," I said before taking a sip of my coffee. But they kept on grinning. "What?" I asked.

"I never thought you guys would be boyfriend and girlfriend, it's really not an idea any of us would have thought of. But you're cute," Charlotte said, smiling back. "How's the sex?" she said, grinning.

"Hey! I'm not going to share my boyfriend's privacy with you!" I said in embarrassment, my cheeks were already getting red.

"Oh, come on! I'm sure your sex is great." She said as she continued to grin. My face was now the color of a tomato. I grunted and rubbed my face.

"Yeah, it's perfect. In fact, it's beyond perfect. Are you happy now?" I said as I looked at them nervously.

"Are you happy? With Carlos?" Charlotte asked. I smiled and nodded.

"More than I've ever been..." An hour later I was back home, I left the shopping bags in the doorway and went to the living room. Carlos hadn't come back from the gym yet, so I changed my clothes, took the makeup off my face and lay down on the sofa in the living room. I was strangely tired, I wanted to sit in front of the TV all day...

Then Carlos came in, put his bag down and put his shoes aside.

"Welcome," I said from the living room. But he quickly came over and picked me up and carried me by the hips to the bedroom.

"I didn't do any cardio today, can you help me?" he said as he laid me on the bed. I grinned and nodded.

"Aren't you tired? As far as I know, people coming back from gym are tired."

"Ha ha ha I'm not tired at all. On the contrary, I took a cold shower after my workout and I'm very hungry..."

[floral-poisons]

driving with prefects

in honor of constantly being reminded that leona can drive, i am writing up a brief dorm leader head canon post. i just think it would be a fun set of head canons, you know? (also it’s been a bit since i’ve posted like content).

i haven’t read any translations for the new event ft. leona and whatnot. so if my head canons don’t align with canon...take it with a grain of salt.

for the sake of these head canons, i’m mostly thinking about manual cars. because i know magic enhanced technology exists within twst. but when i think about driving, i’m thinking about like...regular cars, you know.

malleus draconia

unfamiliar is malleus with manual cars. after all, they’re so different from vehicles operated by magic alone. when he gets behind the wheel, he’s very cautious. sometimes, the things he does are reckless (your heart was beating so fast it would have exploded). but that’s because he isn’t used to driving with stick. or even having experience with manually shifting the car into different modes. he also needs to put his seat as far back as possible because of how tall he is and he needs a tall car so his horns aren’t squished. it can get very uncomfortable very quickly.

child of man, this car is very confusing. how do i activate the windshield wipers? i would not want us to get into an accident.

riddle rosehearts

getting on the road is honestly the worst for him. riddle is an anxious driver. he hates traffic, hates people honking at him, and most certainly hates getting on parkways and highways. he doesn’t mind driving in the countryside where he can drive smoothly and as fast as he desires. no one’s around after all. but with other people, he becomes a mess. he also has a bit of road rage within him. you’ve never heard someone curse as much as he did when someone cut him off. riddle also happens to follow the rules a little too well. he’s always going under or at the speed limit, always checking his blind spots, always signalling his turns even in parking lots. he is, arguably, the best parker.

oh come on! didn’t even signal while switching lanes! cut me off and everyone else too! there’s more than you in the world you know!

vil schoenheit

vil is an awful driver. not in the sense that he doesn’t follow the general rules of driving (because great seven forbid he gets into an accident and it becomes a scandal) but in the way that his braking tends to be...janky. his turns can range from being smooth to jarring. and the man lacks the ability to park. he’s horrible at parking. you learned your lesson when you got into the car with him driving (better off with rook). ironically, he’s a lot better at driving while he’s multitasking, like touching up his makeup or answering phone calls. honestly, he just needs a little practice. with every drive, he improves even in the slightest. he has no problem dedicating hours to practicing driving either. he just doesn’t have the time right now.

normally i don’t drive. my father had drivers for me. but i can. it’s just...been a while. i’m a little rusty is all.

leona kingscholar

leona, having driven for a while now, is one of the best drivers amongst the prefects (and arguably the whole school). he follows the general rules but definitely enjoys going fast. he especially likes to take scenic routes (there’s something peaceful about late night drives, you know). however, he is very possessive of the aux. you’re not allowed to play your playlists unless it’s a really long trip. besides, he prefers to listen to podcasts and audiobooks while driving. he kind of has a conversation with the audiobook or podcast. it’s cute to watch leona react in real time.

that is ridiculous! doesn’t she understand that he’s the bad guy? that he’s awful? she’s better off getting with the second lead anyways!

azul ashengrotto

putting a creature from the seat into a car is a bad idea. there’s only one person that is, arguably, worse than vil. and that is azul. now, it’s not really azul’s fault. he’s not really used to land traffic rules. but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you have almost gotten into a plethora of accidents with azul behind the wheel. he gets pretty anxious while on the road and does his turn signals, lane changes. but he’s pretty awful at guessing distance and lacks spatial awareness. naturally, this also inhibits his parking skills. his parking skills are pretty awful.

the coral sea traffic is not nearly as bad. i mean half of these rules don’t even make sense (y/n)!

kalim al-asim

kalim is a wonderful driver! his driving is really smooth and he’s a joy with to be in the car. there’s always something to talk about while he’s driving. and he’ll let you play your music, podcast, audiobook. the two of you have had so many lovely conversations while driving. there isn’t much to say. plus, kalim is pretty great at parking too. he’s always willing to go on errand runs with you and take you out on late night drives.

oh (y/n)! you need to get something from the grocery store? i was heading there anyways. hop in!

idia shroud

much to your surprise, you learned that idia is not an anxious driver. he seems like he would be. but no. he feels like he’s in a video game whenever he drives. and he absolutely loves the adrenaline rush that he gets from going fast. slamming on that gas petal is extremely satisfying to him. furthermore, traffic becomes a puzzle to him. a puzzle to solve on how to get out of traffic. everyone else becomes npcs. and you have almost thrown up from how motion sick you’ve gotten in his car.

ohohoho! traffic? guess we can play a game of how to escape! it should be relatively easy considering how all the normies drive.

[emixion]

So i’ve seen a lot of eah fans sharing hcs which makes me very happy so i’m going to share some too. (Pretty much just Raven because she is my blorbo)

Raven’s music taste is wildly eclectic. She obviously loves Taylor Swift and artists with similar vibes but is prone to bouncing around genres. Other artists she loves are Paramore, MCR, Ashnikko, Scene Queen, and really anything else she can scream.

She’s a picky eater. This is kind of hinted at in Storybook of Legends but never outright stated so I still consider it a HC. There’s a lot of different types of meat she doesn’t like to eat and she has a hard time with texture of certain foods. She also went through a period where her anxiety would reduce her appetite. (Same, twin 😗✌️)

She can sense the beat and signature of any music within her earshot with her magic. She calls it her sixth sense.

She’s a comic nerd. Before she had any real friends and was still dealing with her mother, she used them as an escape. Her favorite comics are The New Teen Titans from the 80s-2000s and she has a huge shelf of them back home in her room.

She loves scary movies.

Taught herself how to do makeup quickly because she doesn’t like looking in the mirror too long.

Considers the core rebels (Maddie, Cerise, Cedar and Hunter) her family. They were on her side and defended when the whole school was against her and she will never forget that and will always be grateful.

Alright this one is canon but this is just a reminder that she is an absolute MANIAC on guitar. Like Sparrow carries his around every day and yet she outshines him every time she plays.

Nevermore got her name when Raven’s dad suggested it as a joke and Raven, being a little girl at the time, didn’t get the reference but loved the name and it stuck.

Favorite anime is Tokyo Ghoul but she hates the ending.

Her eyes have a sort of “glow” to them that you can see in the dark.

As she gets older, she eventually cuts contact with her mother. She never leaves their visits feeling good, quite the opposite, so she finally decides to prioritize her self and her mental health and stops showing up.

An absolute beast in Smash Bros. Her main is Zelda.

She often wears her headphones around even if she isn’t listening to music in case she suddenly wants to. Plus they’re comfy on her ears and help her avoid unwanted attention.

[featherlumina]

8, 12 and 17 for the ask game 😁

Thank you so much @duttfisch! Apologies for the Genesis spam below, haha. XD

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about.

GENESIS BEING INCLUDED IN THE NIBELHEIM INCIDENT. People treat this like some unholy retcon, the greatest narrative sin Square Enix could've committed via the Compilation. And I for one think that's a complete over-reaction.

Seriously. Sure, Sephiroth's definitely not in a good mental headspace by now, but having Genesis water the freshly planted seeds in Seph's mind in the reactor only serves to drive him further down in a really believable way. I always found it a little odd how quickly Seph seemed to spiral in the OG (admittedly Rebirth handled it better), so I think the addition of Genesis makes the scene more fleshed out and raises even more questions for Sephiroth to investigate in the manor.

And a fun one for good measure that's been disproven by Nomura himself - the fact that everyone is like 'hurr durr Genesis can't come back cause Gackt says no / Square won't pay for his likeness'. Admittedly less people are using this as a 'ew no Genesis is icky he can't come back' now, but it was SUPER annoying for like a decade up till this point.

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

Feel like I should be putting my clown makeup on at this point because yep, my answer's Genesis! Again! XD Between the rest of the awesome peeps / moots on Tumblr who've argued for why Gen actually is or has the potential to be really interesting, I think it's fairly obvious why, but I'll summarise my view.

Basically, Genesis suffered from poor writing. Between that and the intense LOVELESS quoting making up the majority of his dialogue, I can see why it frustrated people. But if you look beyond that you'll discover some really neat stuff:

Having Genesis (and by extension, Angeal) as prototypes to Sephiroth actually makes boatloads of sense scientifically. You can't expect ShinRa to pop out Sephiroth on the first try, can you?

Genesis can basically go toe-to-toe with Sephiroth for an extended period of time, which is just... insane, when you think about it. Cloud and Zack have both reached similar heights but Sephiroth is just on a whole other level, so the fact there are a select few who can last against him is just really neat.

Bro had his world shattered and understandably lashed out at the company that shaped and controlled his entire existence. We're on Zack's side for Crisis Core, but it's pretty clear the real world-destroyers are ShinRa, and I think Crisis Core could've done a better job at helping us see Gen's perspective a bit more.

His aesthetic is just gorgeous, let's be honest here. That red coat is iconic and I want it. Superb character design (bless you Gackt for choosing red over black or white.)

Canonically he was well-liked and respected by the majority of SOLDIER, given that he convinced so many SOLDIERs to leave with him. People don't just follow you to the ends of the earth willy-nilly. Also, despite being an 'introvert' and averse to large people groups, he displayed kindness and gentleness with his younger comrades. Gillian called him 'such a good boy' for a reason, damn it!

...and I probably have more, but my hands are tired. XD

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art.

Honestly, I'm a sucker for hurt/injured/degrading Genesis and him both going through trauma and then being comforted and cared for by his loved ones. It's a major part of why I started Thing With Feathers after all. XD

I also love seeing how people explore Genesis' relationship with his changing body/his wing. I could read stuff about that for days.

Also would love to see more written redemption arcs for Genesis, whether it's through 'what-if' AUs or post DoC.

Lastly, I'm not hugely into overly sexual stuff, so any of the above fics without anything explicit is just *chef's kiss*. Of course I understand that many folks love the spicy stuff on its own or mixed into a plot, and that's okay! Just not my cup of tea is all.

[the-lunar-library]

TO THE RAVENS

Parrhesiades, or Pas to his friends, a seeker of the divine but a skeptic of prophets. As a priest of the goddess Kybele, himself a member of a sect sometimes viewed with disfavor by the Romans, Pas quickly takes an interest in Alexandros' dramatic new cult. Particularly when he realizes how inextricably his old friend Akantha is bound up in it.

While To the Ravens isn't a religious book (as in, it's not here to proselytize), religion is an important element, and I wanted to study it from a variety of sides. So where Genesius is a spiritual skeptic and Buca is open-minded to a fault, Pas is here as someone with deep religious convictions, the sort of person who does believe in supernatural things, prophecies, magic, stuff like that. But he doesn't believe in them indiscriminately. And now he's faced with this unprecedented new cult of Alexandros', and he's equipped to levy both a personal and a professional judgment on it.

The galli, priests of Kybele/Cybele, are notable in Roman history because they were AMAB folks who dressed in feminine clothes, even at a time when there were fewer distinctions between men's and women's clothing. Which is intriguing, particularly the question of how they might have identified had they lived today – and how I, with my modern sensibilities, should speak of them. Historical texts aren't very useful in that respect, defaulting to masculine pronouns and assuming masculine identities, and the modern resources I looked at took a similar line. The concept of a person changing genders or having multiple genders did exist in both Greco-Roman myth and philosophy, but I (possibly I wasn't looking in the right places) didn't find anything when it came to the real trans people who just lived their lives in imperial Rome. The galli are also famous for castrating themselves in service of their religion. Which feels very significant, but I didn't want to presume that they all were, across the board, trans women. In Totr's glossary, I clarify that Pas, who uses masculine pronouns, is just one gallus and isn't meant to represent all of them. My own feeling is that there could have been a spectrum of identities among the galli, but it's a gut feeling without any evidence.

I'm not shy about having favorites, and Pas is one of my favorite characters; I enjoyed every scene he was in. He's thoughtful, outwardly calm, generous, and has a patient listening ear for other people's problems. At the same time, he's often cutting and stern, and he won't lie or compromise to make others feel better. He's an intellectual who obeys logic and his principles, but he has a deadpan sense of humor and a love for the absurd.

As for his name, it was drawn right from Lucian – Parrhesiades, “free speaker”, underlining his willingness to call things as he sees them, regardless of others' opinions. But I figured that was way too much of a mouthful. The first part of his name, though written here as “Par”, is the Greek word “pas”, so he goes by Pas. And as for his design, he's tall and graceful, and despite not being rich he dresses as beautifully as his budget allows, both because he enjoys it and to glorify his goddess. He typically wears a full face of makeup, which, depending on what you've just said to him, makes him look softer and more gracious, or harsher and more warlike. My portrait caught him at a sterner moment because, really, he finds a lot to question in this book.

[letsgomakeanau]

Genshin Impact Sagau AU!

Iconic Updates AU!

In most of these AUs we have statues or other icons of the ‘Creator’ aka the player.

For this AU I propose that every time that the game is updated or any data packs are downloaded, any representations of the player would change once it’s down downloading.

Acolytes assume that you change it personally.

From head to toe any image of you would look exactly like how you look at that time. (You can choose if there’s a glow up or pose change if you want to.)

For the Normal Sagau AU!

Regardless of how much the player has changed since originally downloading the game the characters will have near perfect knowledge of what they look like.

Once the player is transported to Teyvat an arms race begins.

Or, well. A fashion race.

Every. Single. Day. You won’t be without an array of outfits presented to you in hopes of the various icon of your image changing to fit them.

(If anyone chooses to write this they can choose whether they want to updates to happen automatically, not at all which means that icons don’t change either, or having whatever device you played the game on with you so you have the ability to choose.)

Whenever you choose to wear anything, from a pin with a symbol on it to full regalia, if it is from a specific place then they will celebrate and brag about being the creator’s favorite.

Best to switch things up if you don’t want fights to happen.

For the Imposter AU!

If somehow they still don’t recognize that you are the true creator.

Then they’re idiots. Even more so than usual.

For this section let’s assume an update was just released so there will be some time before the next.

Regardless of where you start out people will assume that you’re copying the creator and trying to scam people.

The fake creator (if you chose to have one) has told the people that whatever clothes appear on any icons or statues would be clothes they wish to be made for them and it was a test to see if they were devoted enough.

As people had gotten much better at designing and quickly making clothes there had been cases of particularly talented tailors dressing up someone similar to the creator to pretend to be them.

Due to this you would at most be taken to prison, fined or sentenced to jail if you had attempted to trick people and unless you do something major you wouldn’t be hunted down.

If the fake is somehow able to sense that you are the real one they will immediately have you hunted down and killed in some secluded area.

From here you can choose if you want it to go the killed then revealed route or if the statues change to reflect you and then they realize.

Or if no one realizes then you can dress yourself up put on some makeup and have the reveal be absolutely hilarious.

Well that’s it for this post and send me asks or tag me if you have any questions about this AU.

If you wish to use this idea feel free to use it and don’t forget to tag me!

[hard--headed--woman]

one anonymous thing a follower wants to know: when did you get into radical feminism?

Ohh I am glad someone asked haha. The truth is I was kind of a born radfem. I realized early in life that the world was deeply sexist and misogynistic. Even when I was 11/12yo in middle school, I hated makeup, cosmetic surgery, and the beauty industry in general. I was very critical of it, saying it was misogynistic, and that I was against the idea of altering our faces to fit the box of the perfect woman, to be beautiful in the sexist eyes of society. As soon as I knew what prostitution was, I was against it ; I already thought women weren't products you can buy and that prostitution and consent couldn't coexist. I was also a raging misandrist kid, I realized very young how sexist and misogynistic our society was, and how terrible and violent men were. I was already annoyed by the way everyone defended men despite everything they do. I knew what transgenderism was, but I didn't really care back then, and actually I never thought about it.

Then when I was 12 I started to read feminist things. I of course didn't read Andrea Dworkin right away, I started with smaller books and magazines, and soon enough I was reading bigger books, Simone de Beauvoir, for example. I didn't know there was several branches of feminism, to me there was only one. I knew a lot of things about feminist history, it was just kind of mixed up in my mind. I mainly focused on books and ressources about male violence, domestic violence, unpaid labor, mothers and marriage, sexual violence, and women's rights outside the West (Afghanistan, Iran, Korea...). I didn't read anything about beauty industry and prostitution at that time ; no special reason, I guess I just didn't see any book about it that I wanted to read, or almost no book. I still held the same beliefs about it, however. Bref, it was from by 12 to my 17 (and I was already the annoying and angry feminist for my family and friends).

At 17 I started to get into fandom culture, and as you know, fandom culture is very, very liberal. There I saw people totally disagreeing with me about "sex work" and the beauty industry, literally calling women who were against it "anti feminists". I started to doubt (I was very young, remember this), what if I was just a conservative after all ? I slowly became a bit more liberal, still not wearing makeup but not criticizing it anymore and laughing with "girlboss" comments at shit like "my makeup is powerful enough to destroy the patriarchy". I still hated prostitution, but started to agree that OnlyFans was a cool and easy way to make money. I started to agree with gender ideology, though it never made sense to me before and I had never really thought about it (I had a trans friend and I used her preferred pronouns and all but honestly I just didn't care enough to think about if it was right or not).

Deep down, I still held the same beliefs, I just didn't want to admit it, because I was afraid of being a bad person and because it's hard to accept that you are against things everyone support. It's easier to follow the others, and I was young and a bit brainwashed to be honest (brainwashed against, as I understood later, the evil TERFs !).

At 18, I started to read more and more books against beauty culture and prostitution. I quickly felt confident enough to accept and express my real beliefs. While I was doing so, I became more and more critical of many things in liberal politics, makeup, porn, prostitution etc... and gender ideology. I realized it didn't make sense AT ALL to me. I hid these beliefs because I was genuinely very scared of being a horrible person or becoming one. I didn't want to agree with the evil terfs, right ? I didn't want to become one of them ? But I kept seeing TRA stuff and it all seemed so stupid and ridiculous to me. Plus, I was also starting to see how misogynistic and homophobic this ideology is. For almost a year, I tried to push these doubts away, finding TRAs excuses, trying to find other explanations for their misogyny and homophobia... I was terrified of becoming a bad person. I thought, what if I am being brainwashed ? And kept reading TRAs stuff to try to force myself to believe and accept them. But the more I read, the more I realized that it was nonsense, and rooted in misogyny, homophobia, racism. It was during the time I was starting to accept my homosexuality (and by the way, gender ideology made it 100× harder. I already had a hard time admitting I was a lesbian, but their nonsense made me even more ashamed of it as I felt disgusting for not liking dicks and male bodies. It made my feeling of "damn, there is something seriously wrong with me" even more serious and deeper), so seeing their lesbophobia didn't help their case. I doubted for almost a year, until I made a post that became quickly famous (now deleted on my main, but the reblogs still exist) in which I forced myself to include trans people because I was afraid everyone would call me a TERF if I didn't.

Radfems saw it and replied, being a bit angry at me for what I had said of course. It made me feel soooo bad because I actually agreed with them but couldn't say it on main ! (My online friends of the time could see it, and I didn't want to lose them, back then). So, I didn't reply to them or just blocked them because I was afraid of myself for agreeing with them.

But out of curiosity, I read some posts in the radfem tag after this post. And what a great surprise ! There was a lot of women agreeing with me about makeup and the beauty industry on here ! I wasn't alone ! Not gonna lie, it made me feel so good. For years I thought I was alone, everyone around me didn't see any issue with makeup or prostitution, everyone around me called me crazy, paranoid, boring or stupid for criticizing these things. And now I had found a community of women who agreed with me, and were so smart about it. Their posts were so well written, full of wisdom. They agreed with me, and believed there was nothing wrong with me not liking dicks and males. What a relief and what a wonderful thing to find out. After that, I was almost ready to just call myself a radfem. My ex helped a bit, since she was gender critical.

At first, I just followed radfem blogs through my main, agreeing with everything they said and realizing that "terfs" didn't exist, and that radfems/gender critical feminists weren't evil at all. I read a lot of radical feminist books in six months ; then, around april, I think, at 19, I created this blog, fully accepting my beliefs.

Since then I keep learning everyday, about radical feminism theory and history, about other branches of feminism and their history. I read a lot of books, watch a lot of docs, and write a lot about it in my little notebooks. I don't wear makeup, don't encourage the beauty industry, I volunteer as much as I can, I try to have the most separatist lifestyle as I can, I talk about radical feminism around me (I even have my stickers! I am pretty proud of them haha)... bref, I try to actually be a radfem and not just to criticize gender ideology online.

I am so grateful and happy I found radblr and online radfems !

[she-lives-in-her-dreams]

Swipe City Chapter 5:Dating with a Twist

Disclaimer: I do not know any celebrities in this story.  I’ve been super sick for a week; thus, this is not proofread. I’m not from nor have been to London; so, I apologize if I use American terms when writing a Brit character. 

Please let me know if you guys have any interest in this story continuing. I’m not receiving a lot of feedback and feel like this story is a bit of a flop. 

@mountpulisic​ @mllynne​ @luminous-99​ @alwaysclassyeagle

       Christian is nervous–no, he is beyond nervous. A level of nervousness that he doesn’t know how to describe in English nor in German.  It’s Wednesday and in exactly  30 minutes, he is going to be sitting in a small, local  pub with Y/N for a lunch date. He is mentally trying to prepare  himself for any reaction she may have to his identity. 

        In a flat across West London, Y/N is nervously fixing her makeup and trying not to vomit. It’s out of character for her to go on a date with man she has never videochatted with much less never even seen pictures of.  The thought runs through her mind to cancel the date and ask for a videochat before rescheduling it.  The notion disappears as quickly as it appeared–the move to London had been one she promised herself would be about adventures and a fresh start. A clean slate she knows has to include some risks that are out of her comfort zone. Besides, if Chris–hopefully that is his real name– is a serial killer, she did activate her location on her phone, has a secret code arranged with her friends back home, and an agreed upon check-in time. 

    The 30 minutes past quickly for both Christian and Y/N, and before either knows it the pub  is in their views.  Y/N arrives first–always one for arriving early to avoid having to approach her dates.  She chooses a corner high-top table and quickly texts Chris where she is seated. The pub is not busy at all which makes her sigh in relief and give thanks that Chris asked for a lunch date rather than a dinner when the evening crowd would surely have overwhelmed her senses with all the noise. 

    Christian arrives at the pub exactly 5 minutes before the arranged time. He checks his phone and finds a missed text from Y/N with information about their seating arrangement. Christian clutches the bouquet of tulips tightly as he pulls the pub’s entrance door. His coffee colored eyes search the corner high-top tables for the lavender sweater y/n said she would be wearing. 

     The instant they land on the woman in the corner’s lavender sweater, his eyes still. Her head is tilted down looking at her phone. Before Christian can even process what is happening, his feet have moved him across the pub to standing in front of y/n. He clears his throat to get her attention and when her eyes lift to meet his own, Christian feels his breath catch. He has always believed that no matter the color of someone’s eyes, you could tell a lot about the person just by looking into their eyes ; and in this moment, all Christian can tell about y/n from her eyes is that he never wants to stop looking into them. 

     Y/N hears the clearing of the throat and looks up. In front of her is an absolutely breath-taking man. His boyishly handsome face with the shy smile and dimple cause her heart to race. For a second, there are no words spoken.  Christian clears his throat again and forces himself to speak. 

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Chris.” The shy smile never leaving his face. 

Y/N stands to greet him but hesitates awkwardly. Does she give him a handshake? A hug? What is the tradition for dates now? God, she hates dating. 

Christian makes the decision for her as she speaks her name by moving closer and opening his arms for a gentle hug. After several phone conversations and hours of texts, he feels that he knows y/n and a hug is the only acceptable greeting for someone he already feels safe with. 

Though the hug is short, it is warm and soothing to both. As the two separate, both recognize the noticeable loss of warmth and comfort. 

“It’s really great to meet you in person. I hope you don’t mind, but I remembered you saying you loved these; so, I picked these up for you.”  Christian says shyly as he hands y/n the flowers. Her smile widens– she mentioned these flowers during their second conversation when he was trying to figure out which flowers to send his mother for her birthday. 

“Wow, Chris! That is so thoughtful of you.”  Y/N tries not to gasp–a man significantly younger than her put more effort into their first date than any other man had during a committed relationship. 

As the date progresses, Christian realizes the pub is becoming busier. He tries not to panic and attempts to calm himself by remembering  he doesn’t get recognized as much as Mason or Reece especially when he is out without them. It’s not that he wants to lie to Y/N, he just knows he wants to tell her in his own nonpublic way. 

    Christian feels a sense of relief when it is not until y/n is in the restroom that he is approached by an older man asking for an autograph and picture for his young grandson. The interaction is swift and when the man sees y/n approaching the table again, he thanks Christian, winks at him, and promptly walks away. Christian thanks his God for this small miracle.

“It’s getting to be a bit late. Unfortunately, I need to go back to work.” Y/N says with a sigh. It was the one part of a lunch date that had made her hesitate– she had to come to the date in her professional clothing and was limited to a few hours before she would need to return. 

  Christian smiles a bit sadly. “I hate that it has to end so quickly, but I understand not everyone is off today like me.”  

     After beckoning the waiter over and handing him his card to pay for their date, Christian swallows the lump forming in his throat. “I had a really great time and would like to see you again, if you are open to it.” 

Y/N feels the heat in her face. “I would love to see you again.” 

    After receiving his card and helping y/n to put her jacket on, Christian escorts Y/N  out into the chilly weather to catch her waiting  taxi.  Already anticipating her next move, Christian rushes around Y/N to open the taxi’s door and help her into it. 

    Feeling somewhat empowered by the man’s consistent gentlemanly ways, Y/N leans over and presses a soft kiss to Christian’s cheek as she enters the taxi.

“Let me know when you are available.” She whispers after thanking him again for the date. 

     As the taxi pulls away, Christian touching his kissed cheek, a man steps into his peripheral vision.  The man begins to speak causing Christian to turn his head in the gentleman’s direction.

“Son, you have the same look on your face that I had when I met future wife, when my son-in-law looks at my daughter, and when my son looks at his wife. I hope it works out for you because I would love to say I witnessed the first date of Christian Pulisic and his wife.” 

     Quickly recognizing the man as the guy from the bar who asked for the autograph and photo, Christian responds nervously. 

“She is great, but was it really that awkward and obvious it was a first date?” 

     The grandfatherly man laughs. “You are standing in the cold holding your cheek from a little peck. I think that makes it obvious. Good luck on Sunday, Pulisic. I’ll be cheering for you in more than one way!” The man continues to laugh as he walks away leaving Christian with a glowing red face. 

Christian touches his kissed cheek again and thinks how much like a romcom this is turning out to be. 

[nicsnort]

Gravita Anima (part 43)

Nightcrawler/Fem!OC/Quicksilver Long-form romance and drama fic. All chapters have been posted on Ao3.

Intro (with link to Ao3 story) First Previous

Elle was leaning against Pietro. He and Wanda had finally come to her tour and they had gone out for dinner afterward. She was in that blissful state where she could forget about the Brotherhood and that darkness in Pietro. Her phone rang and she saw it was Lucy.

“One second,” she told the siblings. Picking up the phone she smiled broadly. “Hey, Lucy! How are you doing? I’m out at dinner with Pietro and Wanda so sorry for any background noise.”

“Can you step away from them? Like, now?” 

“Sure!” Elle said cheerily even as her own stomach dropped as well. Something was obviously wrong. Half covering the phone she stood from the table. “I’ll be right back, so I don’t disturb anyone.”

Kissing Pietro on the cheek she headed off to the bathroom. It was a fancy enough restaurant to have a sitting area in before the stalls for people to get away from the crowd.  Once she was away she told Lucy to go ahead. What Lucy told her made her cover her mouth in shock.

“Elle, it’s over. I failed their little test. I attacked Magneto.” She exhaled shakily once the words were out. To have it said aloud made it feel...more real. “What are we going to do?”

“What,” she asked hushed. “You attacked...fuck. Lucy! Well, I can’t pull out now! I’ve heard in passing that they have something big planned but nothing concrete.”

“No, of course not...I just...I got angry.” She sighed heavily, uncomfortable with having been there and then here in a matter of minutes. “Let’s...let’s set up one final meeting between us -- the last time I think we can. It can be seen as a...a...a way for me to try and convince you to leave, but you stay -- does that make sense?” It would sell the idea, in case there were any doubts… “Tomorrow afternoon? I’m calling in sick anyway.”

“Alright,” Elle agreed. “If asked I’ll say you were upset and just wanted to meet up. I’ll act surprised and shocked if Pietro or Wanda find out while we’re together. Usual cafe?”

When the time and location was set, Elle headed over to the main restroom spot. She leaned over a sink and splashed a bit of water on her face. It was a good thing that by the end of her tours her little bit of makeup was nearly sweated off. Drying her face she gave a long look at herself in the mirror. Something told her all of this was about to get far more difficult.

~~~

Elle was in luck last night that neither Pietro nor Wanda had received messages about Lucy while they were out together. Though she knew that both would have been told as soon they returned. She had told them that Lucy had called her upset and wanted to talk, then that Elle and her were having lunch today. It was Friday and Elle had switched to the 4:10 schedule that she had mentioned to Pietro meaning she had the day off.

Entering their usual cafe Elle quickly spotted Lucy in their area. It was near the windows and in easy view for people watching. Which...Elle felt a familiar emotional profile just at the edge of her range. Riptide did stand out the least. It only made sense they sent him.

Sitting down with her coffee Elle gave her friend a smile. “Huh,” she said casually, “they added in new cameras.” They had not. “They're watching us now, haha.”

Whatever moment of familiarity and peace Lucy felt at seeing her friend was gone the moment she spoke in a coded manner. She winced and hid it by taking a drink of her coffee. “...Naturally. Danger is everywhere.” She said dryly. Putting her cup down, she tried to think through the many things she wanted to say, and how she might say them cryptically as they were being watched. 

“Elle,” she hesitated. She wanted to say that they needed to come up with a backup plan, a way to get the message out if Elle needed help immediately -- and who would hear it from the hideout. She wanted to discuss shortening that two-month mark to...well, less than the time remaining. But none of it would work just so easily. “I think you should leave the Brotherhood.” If they wanted a show, they’d get one.

There was so much that Elle wanted to know. Perhaps she and Kurt could sneak a visit soon and he will know what happened...hopefully, it wasn’t too dangerous now. At Lucy’s words, she pretended to freeze in surprise. “I didn’t know you knew but what do you mean? You were the one that told me about the Sentinels. They need to be stopped.”

“Yes, they do, something I intend to do something about. And yes...Erik told me -- before I made him live his worst nightmare.” She took a drink of her coffee, not even tasting it anymore. “We went out to terrorize scientists and wipe out data,” now was the best time to explain it all, “except he went back on his word about hurting them. It occurred to me then that he will never be anything less than an egotistic, dramatic, hateful bastard...and I can’t align myself with someone like that. I refuse to follow him. Elle, you have to leave them. They’re too extreme. They’re assholes -- all of them. They don’t want equality, they want superiority.” 

Well, at least by her own words Lucy now understood what Elle had been trying to say the other week. Of course, Elle, as much as she agreed, could not say ‘I told you so’. At least Elle was able to keep her mind on the mission. She was not swayed by the Brotherhood’s words.

“Hateful, yes, all of them can be. But also fearful, proud...charming, kind…romantic.” Elle allowed her face to go a bit wispy. Let Riptide think she was there only for Pietro, she didn’t care, it was the only way she could stand the Brotherhood anyways. “There is hope to be found among them. Their tactics are useful and they are actually helping mutants. Their charity work, helping mutants in need, speaks far louder than their actions against a few scientists or a broken promise.”

 “And when your ‘charming, kind, romantic’ silver twig gets tired of you? Will you stay with them then? How will you leave them? Do you really think you can just say...the word and they’ll wave you off? It’s like a mob!” A word, pick a damn word, she was trying to stress without being obvious. “They’re dangerous,” she repeated, “and Erik seems to think you’re always going to be staying...if only for the ‘stability’ you provide with his son.” That was as gentle as she could put it, but it got the point across. 

That was not something she had known. Magneto thought she provided stability to Pietro? That was dangerous... 

“If, that happens,” Elle said carefully, choosing her words wisely. “I think they would be very happy to see me gone. You know me, my heartbreaks are contagious. If I want out I’ll get out, you don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself. But there are bigger things in play now besides ourselves.”

Elle knew she was on her own now. And this was the one way of letting Lucy know that she should not interfere. Tell the X-men if she must. Tell Kurt. But don’t try to extract her.

They had to finish the show. “So that’s it then? You’re sticking with that group of terroristic bastards? Elle, you’re my friend...how can I reconcile with that?” If they didn’t make it a convincing enough show that they were cutting one another off, she was concerned that the Brotherhood would be suspect of any information given or shown before Elle, making the whole mission moot.

“I never expected you to be so petty,” Elle told her with a sneer, instantly catching on to what Lucy was doing. “How long did you work for Kelly? Spouting his words, it very well might be your fault we are in this mess.”

Elle lifted her chin up. She had been keeping a finger on Riptide's emotional signature and she felt him gain interest. He was probably hoping for a fight.

“If you are going to be useless in this fight then fine. But I refuse to roll over for him.”

Lucy’s jaw dropped just for a second. It was a good argument -- one of which Lucy had to tuck away for later. She gave a sharp ‘ha!’ before downing the rest of her coffee. One of them was bound to storm off and she might as well get the last drop of caffeine before that happened. 

“Oh, sure, you won’t roll over for him but you’ll roll over for Pietro, hm? That’s all you are to them, you know, a plaything!” She hoped it was convincing enough. “But then again, I guess that’s plenty of sacrifice for the mutant cause.” Lucy had to bite her inner cheek to keep from snickering at her own jab at Pietro. Oh, she hoped whoever was watching would bring every word back to the group.

That was a good jab. While it did bring back some of her guilt for sleeping with Pietro, Elle pushed it away. She couldn’t think about that now. “Bitch,” Elle swore. “Mutant traitor.”

Downing the rest of her coffee quickly, Elle stormed out of the cafe heading in the opposite direction of Lucy. She felt Riptide follow her. Good. Lucy for the meantime was out of their sight. Elle hoped that she told the X-men everything she knew.

______

Next

Fanfic Masterlist

[niphredil-14]

Unearth My Heart Chapter 4 (Jason Todd/Reader)

Summary: Y/n says her final goodbyes, and her mental state takes a drastic turn, luck seems to be favoring her, but only for a moment. Warnings: Angst, violence Word Count: 3.1k Taglist: @mxsmwndr SERIES MASTERLIST

There was no wake, but the funeral was open casket. It was unexpected from Bruce, who seemed to be becoming less man and more bat with the rise and fall of the moon. She was convinced that there would have been no funeral at all if this new Bruce had anything to say about it, he seemed more inclined to just shove Jason in a box and throw some dirt on top, no service necessary. She silently praised and thanked Alfred, who she was certain played a hand in ensuring Jason had a proper sending-off. These thoughts were present, yet somehow indistinguishable from the bombardment of others in her mind as she stared down at the casket before the service. She had shown up early, wanting to say goodbye to him on her own, with her own words, that she was convinced she would be unable to muster up in the presence of others, this was between them, soulmates unfated and unblessed. Her hand was elevated, the tips of her middle and ring finger resting atop a dainty necklace that hung just below her collarbones. The chain was black, the shine a near perfect match to her tears. In her other hand she delicately grasped a note. The handwriting, though looking as if it had been scribbled, was most likely written with the utmost care and patience, it wasn’t his fault his penmanship was so terrible. She lifted it up and reread it.

           Y/n, I was looking through these little shops, the whole town is full of artists, and saw this necklace. They had a bunch of ones like it, but with other gem combinations and some bracelets too, I got a bracelet for myself, and the necklace is obviously for you. I know it might seem a bit dramatic, but I like the idea of us having something matching, especially where they have both of our birthstones on each of them. I hope you like it!

                       Xoxo Jason

He always was dramatic, and a total romantic, but it was cute, and she would love and cherish any evidence of his life. Tucking the note into her clutch, which also held the photo he dropped, she turned her full attention back to him.

“I bet if this were a book, you’d love the irony of it all. I mean, two people finally confess to each other and one dies before they can even go on a date? That sounds like something out of a real budget movie.” She chuckled halfheartedly, her face falling quickly after. “Thank you for the necklace, I love it. I love you.” She paused, doing her best to collect herself. “I found the bracelet you mentioned in your note. I thought you might want it. I hope I’m not wrong.” Sniffling, she took the leather band out of her clutch and gazed at it, the leather was a solid black, and in the center, were two small gems, their birthstones, and on either side of the stones were two small silver beads, matching her necklace. Taking a breath, she reached forward and lifted his left hand, rolling his suit sleeve back ever so slightly to slip on and tighten the bracelet, before rolling the sleeve back down and adjusting the cuff. “It looks good on you, very handsome.” She paused again, as she often did while talking to him in that moment. “If you were still alive, I think I might hit you with an ‘I told you so,’ but given the circumstances, it doesn’t seem all that appealing. I already miss you so much, I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on, it feels like my whole world has stopped,” she was sobbing now, the tears uncontrollable and unstoppable. “Which makes sense, because it has, because you have. I- I can’t do this! I can’t keep going without you! You- you’re my everything, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to heal from this! I don’t even know if I want to. All I know is that I want you back.” She stood there for minutes, crying, the makeup she had so carefully applied in his honor smudged, running, and ruined. After what seemed like much longer than it was, she collected herself, dabbed at her eyes, and placed her hand on top of his, leaning down so that her lips hovered just above his. “I love you.” She leaned farther, and gently pressed her lips to his, as if letting all her love flow to him would somehow revive him. The kiss lasts seconds, before she lifted up just the slightest bit, speaking again. “I will always love you, Jason.” And with that she stood up, gently stroked his cheek with her thumb, and then walked away, going to hide away until the funeral officially started.

The ceremony dragged on and on, and though she wanted him to have a proper goodbye, she hated being there for it. There weren’t many people there, it was a small, private, family event. She stood there, with Alfred and Dick on either side of her, and Babs on Dick’s other side. She didn’t know Babs super well, since her main interactions with the family revolved around vigilantism, but she seemed nice, and from the few interactions they had Y/n could tell that she liked her. Though she knew him a little bit more than she did Babs, Dick was also fairly mysterious to her. They hadn’t had many interactions due to the amount of time he spent in Bludhaven, but Jason always spoke highly of him, so she figured he must be a good guy. Jason usually had good judgement, even if not recently, or when it came to his safety. Bruce was noticeably absent, hiding from his feelings, hiding from reality. After longer than she thought tolerable, the service ended, yet her feet were rooted in the dirt, unable to carry her away. She stood alone, silent, feeling as if the rain was chiseling away at her body. It was only a matter of time before she eroded, she thought, for her heart still laid with him, and if his soon-to-be decomposition spread to it, she knew she would follow suit. It had been raining since before the funeral, even the heavens mourning his death, weeping on his behalf, hiding her own tears. She saw the droplets hit the ground, but the sensation of the water on her skin had stopped. Glancing upwards, she discovered that an umbrella was being held above her head. Her eyes followed the hand that held it up the arm, and to the face, finding Alfred smiling at her softly, offering as much solace as one grieving person can to another. “Alf.” She murmured, her tears not stopping.

“Miss.” He replied, nodding at her. “I think you had better come inside now.” She shook her head, her lips forming a pitiful frown. “I know you want to be here with him, dear, but I can assure you that the last thing Master Todd would want is for you to catch a cold.” Her eyes turned back to the headstone, gazing longingly. She walked forward, her feet finally free, and placed a small kiss atop the headstone, her tears accompanying the lipstick. Turning, she walked back under the umbrella, facing the manor. She gave him a barely noticeable nod, and with that the began their trek back inside. Upon swinging open the door, he spoke to her again. “Now you head on up to you room, and I will be there shortly with a towel and some tea, alright?” She gave another nod and walked away. The rain hadn’t been heavy, and her clothes weren’t all that wet, just a bit damp, so she didn’t really see the point of the towel, but she didn’t have the energy to argue, and so she kept walking. Her footsteps stopped before she reached her bedroom, however, as the door to Jason’s was cracked just enough for her to look in and be hit with another wave of melancholy and loss. Pushing the door open farther, she was almost scared to enter. But her need to feel as though he was still with her outweighed any fear, and she padded softly into the room, breathing in his lingering scent. Slowly, she stalked over to the bed, sitting on its edge only for a moment before she broke down. Collapsing in on herself, her tears began again, this time accompanied by wails and screams of agony. She pulled her knees to her chest and began roughly scratching at her upper arms, nails digging in deep, almost drawing blood, leaving white streaks in their wake. Her head fell, his smell enveloping her bittersweet. The light from the doorway lessened, a shadow cast over her, and when she looked up, there he was again. The old man stood before her with a cup of tea and a towel, as promised, gazing down at her sadly. Silently, he placed the tea down on the nightstand and took a seat beside her, the towel discarded by his side. She threw herself on to him, her face burrowed in his lap, fingers grasping his pantleg, the fabric absorbing her tears. Startled for a moment, he placed a gentle hand on her heaving back, rubbing large, slow circles. He spoke no words, just sitting there, letting her cry into him. He was strong, she would later acknowledge, for he could not only function, but comfort her as well, when she knew all too well that he was feeling a very similar kind of loss. When the sobs subsided a bit, and her breathing calmed, she rolled to look up at him.

“Alf, I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep going. It’s only been a few days and I already feel like I’m the dead one.” Her confession was followed by a sniffle. Alfred lifted his hand to stroke her hair.

“Something that you’ll realize with age, is that life is not about knowing, or moving on and forgetting about hardships, but it is rather about learning how to live with our pain, without letting it win and overtake us, it is about learning to find joy despite our pain.” Her eyelids drooped; her eyebrows scrunched. If there was any rational part of her brain active in that moment, she might have agreed, but all that was there was her sadness, and so she heard his words, absorbed them to save for later, when they might mean something to her, but as she laid there, they held no weight, empty of definition. “It hurts now, dear, and it will hurt later, but not nearly as much, I promise.” And as a few last rogue tears dropped from her bottom lashes, she sat up, his hand moving from her back to her shoulder. She reached for the tea and took a sip. It had long since gone cold, but she turned down Alfred’s offer of a new cup, opting to sit there with a cold cup than to lose his comfort even for a moment. Cold tea was preferable to loneliness any day. Though she drank slowly, trying to hold on to the moment, so tired and scared of the world’s continuous turning, it was inevitable, and when the liquid had vanished from the porcelain, they stood, the butler taking the cup, and her the towel, as they walked two different directions. She was far from healed, but she did feel better, even if only a little bit.

The next few weeks were all spent the same. She would wake up around noon, grab a small plate of food, and bring it out to his grave to pick at throughout the day. Though she would only eat half of it. The other half, in her mind at least, was his, and when the day came to an end and she left it outside for him, she would feel a sliver of joy upon finding out the next ay that the food was gone. It was, undoubtedly, animals eating it, but it made her feel like he was still there, still breathing, just more shy than he had been. She had stopped going to school, had fought tooth and nail to sit by his grave from just after sunrise to far past sunset. She would talk somedays, listen others. Sometimes Dick would come outside and sit by her, but it didn’t make much of a difference to her. Watching her cycle became painful to everyone involved, and it took only a couple of weeks before a certain proactive butler had to do something about it. The next morning came, and she walked into the kitchen right on schedule, looking as depressed as she had since the burial. She nodded and hummed at Alfred, the most of a greeting he had been able to get out of her up until then. But that morning, he was determined to receive words.

“Good morning, Miss Y/n.” His voice was steady and firm, he was the only constant in the manor since the loss of Jason, and that was reflected in his every mannerism. Her eyes flitted over to him, offering only prolonged eye contact and a slow blink as a response. Once she was sure he understood her acknowledgement, she began filling her small plate with various snacks. “I need to ask a favor of you.” She paused her movements, only for a moment, showing that she had heard him, then continued. Out of her peripheral, she saw him reach into his pocket and retrieve a folded piece of paper. Extending to note to her, he began to explain. “I need you to run to the store and pick up some things for me. I have my hands full today, and I think you could use the time out of the manor.” She froze again, slowly looking at the paper being held out to her. Apprehension shone bright in her eyes before she finally spoke. Her voice was small, barely there, as it shook and cracked like that of someone who had spent an exponential time crying.

“I want to spend the day with Jason.” Unlike her voice, her face was firm, and there was a wavering in Alfred’s gaze, his hand lowering just a fraction. He knew her pain, but he knew even more how unhealthy her routine was for her mental state. He placed the list down on the kitchen island in front of her and gave it a little pat. “After you run the errand, you can spend the rest of the day with him, alright?” Relenting with a sigh and downcast eyes, she agreed, grabbing the note, and looked through the list. It was a basic collection of groceries and household items, and she figured the trip would be quick enough. Reaching into his pockets once more, Alfred handed her a credit card, smiling and thanking her for her help.

The sun seemed brighter, though not in a nice way. Its rays seemed to permeate her very being, and there was too much going on around in her surroundings. It was her first time going out since his death, and she was convinced that her own death wouldn’t be far off if she had to stay out much longer. The hood tugged down over her face did little to hide her, and her only comfort was seeing that there were only three items left on the list. Pushing the cart as fast as she could while still moping, which, in actuality, wasn’t all that fast. She was just reaching for the detergent when her attention was drawn to the front doors, which had just been blown off their hinges by an explosion. She heard him before she saw him, and his laugh had her frozen. The sound was ringing in her ears, bouncing around in her skull. Maybe Jason was looking out for her from the other side, maybe he had heard her when she told his gravestone how much she dreamed of maiming the clown that put him there. She figured that he must have, because not only was the Joker standing only about fifty feet from her, but just next to the detergent she had been reaching for was the kitchen supplies, including knives and scissors. Though she was seething and seeing red, there was a clarity in the back of her mind, and using the chaos and fear of those around her as distraction, she subtly backed up her cart, grabbed a large knife and some scissors, and used them to open one another, slipping out of her shoes to add stealth when she saw her opportunity. The Joker was alone, or so he seemed to be, and once he had turned away from her, she took her chance and began to sprint. When she was merely feet from him, she lunged, shouting. Him turning around at her yell was a terrible mistake, for her knife landed in his neck, being tugged down tearing it open when they feel to the ground, her atop him. She pulled hard, ignoring his pushes, punches, and writhes, and the knife came free, only to be right back down, lower this time. The blade lodged into his chest, crushing ribs in the process, yet he only laughed, the pain seeming nonexistent to him. That didn’t cause any hesitation for her, as she kept stabbing and stabbing and stabbing. The squish and crunch, and cackles not sounding any more sickening to her than they did in her nightmares, where she saw a similar scene, only without herself.

“Give him back! Give him back, you bastard!” She screamed. At some point, the knife was knocked from her grasp, but it would take a lot more than that to get her to stop. At the loss of her weapon, she began to punch the man below her, to scratch him. She grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed his head down hard on the tile flooring, only to pull him up to meet him with a headbutt until there was a mix of their blood dripping down her face and adding to the sea of red surrounding them. The laughing stopped, and the body under her went limp, but she wasn’t given the opportunity to celebrate, or to enjoy her victory, for she looked up only to find herself surrounded by lackies, lead by a one blonde lover and sidekick of the clown. All she saw was a barrel pointed at her.

BANG!

And then everything went black.

[burritoreviewsstuff]

So I watched Oppenheimer

Disclaimer: I am writing this review and analysis as an independent critic and am not sponsored in any means by any major film corporation.

Never before have I expected a biopic turn into a psychological horror film in its third act. There were no winners in this movie and it was overall dramatized to distinguish fact from fiction.

Not gonna lie, I hardly knew anything about the details of the Manhattan Project or who Oppenheimer even was before watching this. Probably because they never taught us this part of history or I just forgot.

I’ve been doing some research over the past couple of hours since watching the film. That is, I watched ‘The Day After Trinity’ and read through some Wikipedia articles. This movie is so beautifully that I refused to believe that a good chunk of it was based on real history because of how the story was told to make it look like we should feel sorry for what Oppie went through (YES I REALIZED THAT THEY NAMED THE MARS ROVER AFTER THIS GUY HALFWAY THROUGH THE FILM. SUE ME). I don’t feel empathetic for what these scientists did. They wanted to play God and played God they did.

From what I could find, mostly everything in the film DID happen to some extent. The only thing that stuck out to me (plot-wise) is Oppie’s relationship with Niels Bohr not being as structured in the film as it was in real life. I think they meant to Max Born at the beginning of the film, but it is true that Bohr did eventually ended up working on the Manhattan Project (though the movie tells us that Bohr left Los Alamos fairly quickly after his escape from Copenhagen). The other being that they left out the feeling at Los Alamos during the scene before the realization of sheer horror of what they had done should have been ‘thank god it wasn’t a dud’ - actual testimony from Frank Oppenheimer.

Other than that, from what testimonies I heard and what I have read, a LOT of the movie is fairly accurate to how events played out over a period of time between the 1920’s all the way up to 1958 during Lewis Strauss’s Secretary of Commerce hearing. Even small details like Oppie’s hat and even most of the actors looking nearly identical to their real-life counterparts during the time the movie happened was really well done.

I give a standing ovation to the costume and makeup departments and artists who worked on this film because if Einstein’s look was all done by hand with no CGI involved, I would have thought the man himself rose from his grave just to star in this film.

And all the actors did a fantastic job playing their roles. Gillian Murphy as Oppenheimer was fantastic and brought a sense of humanity to the role. Robert Downey Jr had me do a double take because this is one of his first movies post-MCU (I initially thought it was his first but then I completely forgot that trash fire of a movie that was Dolittle that my mother and I went to see and I’m glad after three years I have forgotten about that dumpster fire) and is it very refreshing to see what he is capable of now that he doesn’t have to be Tony Stark 24/7 since he is free from the reigns of Disney. It was seriously satisfying for him to be able to drop the F-Bomb. The quipiness of his acting is subdued in this film, but Stark left some scars on the way he acts and it still kind of peeks through during certain scenes. Also, to finally have him be in a more villainous role was a good change up for his acting career (if this movie had a true villain, it would be Strauss since he resented Oppenheimer IRL, not sure if it was simply because of berating during a hearing about isotopes, but he hated the man’a guts to slander him as a Commie due to the people he associated with and his “left-wing views”).

Another thing that I did not understand is why did the hearing scene have to be in black and white while the rest of the scenes were in color. And I want to know why people kept putting marbles into those jars.

I can’t complain too much, because as jam-packed this story already is at 3 hours, if every little detail was put on the screen, Oppenheimer would have longer than the Director’s Cut of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. And I know Critikal said that this movie flew by despite its run time, but I disagree. It was very fast paced until the climax of the movie, that being the bomb drop. It was there that the movie started to crawl a bit because it is here that the results of both hearings (the one taking place in 1954 and the other in 1958) are coming to a close and they are trying to squeeze in any remaining characters that are relevant to the plot their final time to shine before the movie ends.

Overall, this movie is a solid 8.5/10.