#aroace problems?

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[twomanyfandomshelp]

My friend @shellywith2ls found this on Pinterest during our homeroom today, and when she showed me I started dying laughing.

I asked her to send it to me and she just saved the photo and texted it to me, so I can’t properly credit the person who made this. If you see this, hi, I love this, let me know so I can properly credit you 🙃

Edit:

Thank you @voidisnthere for helping me out with the credit!

[reggieslocket]

shoutout to aroace people who survived their relatives' invasive questions about boyfriends and girlfriends i'm proud of you

[opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

I can’t stand forced romance in media. You’re telling me this man and woman who’ve barely spoken to each other, have not flirted at all and have barely been together for three scenes are in love??? Like am I just too aroace to see it?? I always feel so surprised

[redysetdare]

All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Every damn time

[gdsplicer]

I'm seeing a influx of people using the wording "aroace spectrum" as opposed to aspec, or using aroace as if it covers all aros and aces, like...

Do I really have to explain why that's not as inclusive a move as you'd think it is?

If someone addressed me, a aro, as "under the aroace spectrum", I would be questioning their allyship even if they themselves are aspec because no where in that's sentence did I say I'm also ace.

Using that wording instead of aspec is as much dismissive and hurtful to non-ace aros as it does when people shove our aromanticism under asexuality without thinking on why it's not helpful or disrespectful.

I feel so strongly on demanding that aroness and aceness is seen as separate, on demanding proper recognition and respect for aroallos and non-SAM aros, on demanding that my aroness is seen as enough on its own because calling me ace or aroace is erasure on my identity; It pushes the wrong narrative and box onto my experiences. It promotes misunderstandings on not just aromanticism but also asexuality. It treats my label something not worthy of taking up space in the aro community, in the aspec community, in the queer community.

Stop using 'aroace' or as the umbrella word to cover the aspec community.

[moss-the-clown-guy]

CAN WE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSEEEEEE NORMALIZE NOT HAVING TO HAVE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP?? IN MEDIA??? THERE'S TOO MUCH ROMANCE IN MY STORIES. I'LL BE READING A STORY AND

[hyperesthesias]

no one gets to tell you how to be ace btw. not even other asexuals or aromantics. there is no correct way of being ace. theres just being you.

[sparrowsrandomthoughts]

According to society I’m old enough to have a crush on a boy but not old enough to know if I like girls

What a stupid age to be

[asexual-in-distress]

[reggieslocket]

idk if this is because i'm aroace but it baffles me that dating apps exist like who tf came up with this idea?? i mean i go out with a total stranger with the specific purpose of starting a romantic relationship with them?? what the fuck is that? where's the friendship part? where's the part where we've know eachother for most of our lives? like some people really go "oh hey nice shirt, i know nothing about you but i definitely wanna date you" nah i don't believe it

[that-bisexual]

I’m tired of my “friends” making homophobic comments, I’m tired of my “friends” telling me being queer is just a trend, I’m tired of my “friends” saying homosexuality is a sin but they still like me, I’m tired of my “friends” telling me it’s a phase, I’m tired of my “friends” telling me to grow up and date a boy, I’m tired of my “friends” disrespecting me constantly.

[asexuwales]

I remember from before i realised i was asexual and me and some lads were talking about relationships and people cheating and the horrors and i piped up:

"if i had a partner i really wouldnt care at all if they slept with someone else, i dont want to have sex but they might so its easier for them to just fuck someone"

EVERYONES faces dropped in horror,,, thats when i started feeling like there was something wrong with me.

Looking back at it i realise, most asexuals dont see sex as a form of dovotion or an act of love, so to me I interpreted it as the equivalent of "oh they can go tenpin bowling with their mates, i dont care i dont like bowling so it wouldnt be very fun with me but i hope they have fun"

I keep forgetting and seriously sex is taken and given in a allo relationship.

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

[the-names-august]

“Aroace people can still have romantic and have sexual relationships, so it’s okay to ship them!” Only works if that character has been implied to shown to be on that part of the spectrum.

Plus, this can also create a double standard of shipping. For an example for most (sane) people don’t tend to ship lesbians with men or gays with women, because it blatantly erases that representation. But whenever it’s a aroace character that has never shown any interest In romantic or sexual attraction at all is shipped with another character is seen (by surprising a lot of people) to be okay. Which is annoying.

Aroace people barely have any representation in media because of how lesser known the label is. Especially the ones who are completely disinterested in having any relationships unless they are platonic. So it be like adding salt in the wound by using the “aroace is a spectrum” just to ship a aroace character.

But overall when people do ship a gay man with a woman, or vice versa, it’s usually for the sake of shipping. So in my opinion, if you are going to ship a aroace character (who, once again, is completely disinterested any type of romantic or sexual relationship) with another character, just say because you want to ship them instead of grasping at straws and using flimsy excuses.