#aroace-spec

[aroace-ed]

every so often, i think, and it might be so selfish of me, but i crave to be someone's first choice. i want to be the person that someone sees fun things to do and their first thought is to ask me to go with them. i want someone to be willing to inconvenience themselves a little bit sometimes for me as i would do for them. i want to be looked at in a list of people and to have someone pick me out of all of them. i want to be held at the same level as a romantic partner in terms of effort and closeness. i want someone to want me as much as i want them, even though it's not in a romantic sense. i want to be important to someone.

[tomatoandeggs]

Why do people find the need to invalidate aro/ace characters' identities just because they want to ship or simp for that character

As someone on the aroace spectrum, I've only ever seen allos mention the spectrum and microlabels to use as loopholes to ship. They also dont use queerplatonic relationships right. I am not against these bc i identify with aro and ace microlabels and i like to see microlabels and queerplatonic relationships getting recognized properly but not as loopholes

Its like me shipping a gay and lesbian character and calling it queerplatonic as an excuse

Its aphobic and arophobic. Especially when the character shows no interest, and even disgust, at romance and sex

Why do we, the aromantic and/or asexual community, excuse nsfw/ship drawings/fics? It wouldn't fly if you made ship art or fic of a gay and female character, so why does it fly to make an aroace character allo or sexualize them? We deserve respect

Idc what your headcanons are. It still upsets me as someone on this spectrum who uses microlabels

I just had to get my thoughts out

[charlie-lottie]

Demiorchidaroace / Демиорхидароэйс

Or just: Dechidaroace / Дехидароэйс

[ Created by me ; Can be used ]

Demiaroace + Orchidaroace

— A term for people who do not experience romantic and sexual attraction until an emotional connection/attachment has been formed with a specific person. But they won't want a romantic and sexual relationship.

Демиароэйс + Орхидароэйс

— Термин для персон, которые не испытывают романтическое и ексуальное влечения до тех пор, пока с определенным человеком не сформируется эмоциональная связь/привязанность. Но они не будут хотеть романтических и сексуальных отношений.

Mentions / Tags: @radiomogai @acronym-chaos

[hellhoundzzz]

HELLO PLUSHIE, OBJECTKIN, AND ACE-SPEC COMMUNITIES

COMIN TO YOU LIVE FROM THE ACE CORNER

[skyedancer2006]

Looking for posts about being fictosexual cause I’m pretty sure I am, but almost everything is selfship related. Which there’s nothing wrong with! But it’s not what I’m looking, for plus I’m aro so selfshipping isn’t something I really feel a desire to engage with. I just think my blorbos are attractive lol!

-🐉Night (Drei/Pup/Claw)

[your-bigender-big-brother]

That mesque anon that asked you for the term a few asks ago! Thank you so much!! /genuine

Here again to ask: could you combine the aroace-spec flag (orange-blue one) with the mesque flag? (preferably the mesque flag with the caption "Mesque flag - kenochoric")

also if it's not too much to ask, could the flag have a blue-ish theme? (I use aroace, but I'm technically aroace-spec and I really appreciate the addition of the blue to represent the entire spectrum)

I made three versions! The leftmost and middle ones are more blue like you requested, and then I wanted to try out blending them in a different way. What do you think?? 💙💚

If you enjoy my content, please feel free to tip me here! It would help me out a lot!

[aroace-ed]

i will never understand the emphasis society places on romantic relationships. why is the ideal future always portrayed as living with your significant other in a happy, committed, romantic relationship? why is there a whole holiday dedicated towards romantic love? i've heard so many people i know say that they're so lonely because they aren't in a romantic relationship, and i can't help but wonder how are they lonely with so many friends around them? so many things have become romanticized to the point where people no longer think it's socially acceptable to do them with friends. maybe people would feel less lonely then if it was normal to hold hands with people, to give them your sweaters, to lay together on the couch while watching a show. human connection is so so so important. i will never understand how is it that in a world full of love, we only seem to idolize one part of it.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

was making stresexual and stresromantic pride pixels for the pridetriangles queue and noticed there wasn't a stresaroace/stresrose flag. and we wanted to complete the set. and also it was an incredibly self-indulgent set of pixels that we were kinda making for ourselves first and foremost so this is almost definitely gonna be the only time we’re making any flags for that blog

savor it while it lasts (lighthearted) (there are caedrose and caedfamilial flags already so we don’t need to make our own flags for those >:])

so anyway we made two: one that uses a blue-to-grey gradient in the same style of the other two flags (with blue being commonly associated with aroace-spec identities) and then a flag that combines the stresexual and stresromantic flags into one

we were going to just use these in the pride pixels and leave it at that but. uh. y'know. realized maybe we should share just the flags too

anyway we’re away from our computer now and thus cannot work on the pride pixels right now (we’re not going to be able to spend too much time on them in general for a while on account of having college classes to go to). so it’s back to your regularly scheduled content :]

[stabbydragon]

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[glitchedcosmos]

Characters dynamic that’s like “ they’re not in a romantic relationship but they definitely love each other with all their heart and fucking soul”

[metal-autistic-coven]

Random a-spec meme

Image description: cartoon of the character Sayori going like "nah" to using "aspec people can still date!" to ship aspec-coded characters, and going like "yeah" to using "aspec people can still date!" to headcanon an allo-coded character as aspec.

[evocaitart]

Happy Ace Week 💜 Here's your regularly scheduled reminder that asexual people belong in the queer community because WE. ARE. QUEER!

If you like my lil ace bunnies, I have them as stickers in my shop!

Being Ace is Not a Choice Asexuality ≠ Celibacy! Many Aces TRY to feel attraction despite being unable. This can make them feel broken, wrong, and confused. It can take young Aces many years of suffering before they finally figure out that their sexuality just works differently from others. Being Ace is Not Just Low Libido Aces have a range of libidos. Many have a low libido and abstain from sex, but others have high libidos and enjoy sex for a number of reasons. Libido is your sex drive; the urge to partake in sexual activities. This urge is separate from attraction, which is WHO you feel sexual desire for. Aces are Not Heterosexual Heterosexuality = “attraction to the opposite sex”. Since Aces do not feel attraction to ANY gender or sex, they don’t fall under this definition. This point requires some nuance because many Ace sub-labels (such as Demisexual) CAN experience attraction in a limited or fluctuating capacity. However, the way that these labels experience sexuality still falls outside of what heterosexual society deems as “normal” attraction and can cause compatibility issues in relationships with non-Aces. That being said, some Aces still choose to identify with the Heterosexual label if it resonates with them. You can be both Heterosexual AND Ace, but being Ace is not the same as being Heterosexual! Discrimination/Struggle Happens Many people claim that Aces do not experience any discrimination and thus they don't belong in the queer community. This couldn't be further from the truth. Corrective assault, “it’s just a phase,” getting called mentally/physically ill, “you haven’t met the right person yet” are just a few examples. On top of the blatant discrimination listed above, Aces also deal with other struggles in our very sexual society, particularly when seeking romantic relationships. Aces who are sex-repulsed struggle to keep their partners satisfied in bed. Likewise, non-Ace partners often feel rejected and uncomfortable with the notion that Aces don't find them attractive. This disappointment from their partners can weigh heavily on Aces and make them feel broken/wrong.

Thank you for coming to my Ace talk hehehe. If you're Ace I hope you feel validated. If you're not, I hope you learned something!

[queerum]

Free (mostly academic) aro theory resources

On Amatonormativity

Amatonormativity, Aromanticism, and What Defines a Relationship - Rilee Granger

Amatonormativity in the Law: An Introduction - Silver Flight

"Allonormativity and Compulsory Sexuality" (chapter 6 of Encyclopedia of Queer Studies in Education) - Stephanie Anne Shelton

'I Dont Want To be a Playa No More': An Exploration of the Denigrating effects of 'Player' as a Stereotype Against African American Polyamorous Men - Justin L. Clardy

On Relationship Anarchy

The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy - Andie Nordgren

The Relationship Anarchy website

Thinking Relationship Anarchy from a Queer Feminist Approach - Roma De las Heras Gómez

Beyond romantic love – an analysis of how the dilemma of closeness vs. autonomy is handled in relationship anarchy discourse - Ricardo Guillén

The Ethics of Relationship Anarchy - Ole Martin Moen

On community

Examining aromantic and asexual inclusion in queer-serving organizations - based on Lauren Lichty's work

Exploring Aromanticism Through an Online Qualitative Investigation With the Aromantic Community: “Freeing, Alienating, and Utterly Fantastic” - James Fowler et al.

Community Listening Sessions with Aromantic People: Summary and Recommendations Report

Aurea Aro Census

Sexuality, romantic orientation, and masculinity: Men as underrepresented in asexual and aromantic communities - Hannah Tessler

On QueerPlatonic Relationships

Queerplatonic Zucchinis: A Short Primer - Omnes and Nihil (unsure)

Queering the Nuclear Family - Katie Linder

Queer(ing) consensual nonmonogamies, queering therapy: queer intimacy, kinship, and experiences of CNM in LGBTQIA+ lives - Christian Klesse et al.

On intersectionality

Intimacy and Desire Through the Lens of an Aro-Ace Woman of Color

Being Aroflux & Black - Kimberley Butler

Transitioning into Aromanticism as a Trans Student - Amethyst

Existing and Defying Stereotypes as an A-spec Disabled Person - Sapphire Crimson Claw

A Reflection on the March Carnival of Aros (several testimonies by aros of color and non-cis/non-het aros are linked in this article)

Other aro-related interesting reads

New Dimensions, New Directions: Asexualities and Aromanticism in the 21st Century - Megan Carroll et al.

Enriching the Story: Asexuality and Aromanticism in Literature - Adrienne Whisman

The Importance of Representation for Lesser-Known Sexual Identities on the Example of Asexuality and Aromanticism - Jasmin Kiechle

Experiences of Italian Asexual and Aromantic Individuals in Healthcare Settings: from Explicitly Aggressive to Affirming Interactions

Other lists of aro-related ressources (not all sources listed in these are free though)

by Aurea

The Asexuality and Aromanticism Bibliography

If you know of any other free ressource about aromanticism please consider adding to this list

[aroace-ed]

it is painful, sometimes, to love platonically in a way that is so rarely fully reciprocated. i really don't know how to explain the way i feel, but right now, it feels like when you're a child and you have your best friend, and they're the person you will always go to to hang out. the way you'd beg your parents for an extra five minutes to play together with random little secrets and handshakes. how you'd talk about the future and plan out how you both will live together in the same apartment and go to the same school, promising that you'll be together forever. it feels like every friend i've had grew up and found love in romance where i'm still clinging onto the same dream from childhood.

[genderqueerdykes]

equinox here! i wanted to make a masterpost for my zines! if you haven't checked them out already, we write zines about queer history with some resources and statistics within, as well as anecdotes from my 32 years being a genderqueer transsexual butch dyke. i am also intersex and speak about my experience with medical intersexism and prejudice toward androgynous and gender vague people.

if you are interested, the help would go a long way, as i deal with psoriatic arthritis, hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, degenerative disc disease, GI issues, schizophrenia, DID and other health issues. i'm currently applying for disability but it takes quite a while to get approved in the US. all proceeds go towards my monthly rent, bills, and necessities. thank you for your support!