#asexual shitposting

[foone]

Asexual? No, I said I'm Ace, as in Ace-sexual. I'm only attracted to that one playing card.

[runedscope]

If you can't find any tiddies you can grow your own!

[love-ardour-anarchism]

save a horse ride the city bus with me while I tell you about the history of public transit and the etymology of the name of every bus stop

this is a certified aro-ace post and yes, i'm autistic

[alien-ontheinternet]

THIS IS THE FLAG OF MY COUNTRY🗣🗣

[notagaslightingcat]

normalise giving your friends kisses without the expectation of romantic or sexual feelings/attraction.

[mydeerfellow]

Things that an ace person can do while still being ace

FORNICATION. ALSO KNOWN AS SIN. YES MY SISTERS IN CHRIST WE CAN DO THE HORIZONTAL TANGO JUST AS GOOD AS YOU CAN.

Make crude jokes. Y'all don't want to be around when someone tells me a hole is tight. Or loose, come to think of it. Honestly, just don't mention any holes around me.

Give remarkably good relationship advice bc we are the ultimate witnesses to humanity's sex-crazed stupidity. Ben and Jennifer, I'm looking at you.

Fight over/for a significant other - mb we aren't lavishing attention on their genitals but goddammit we can still be possessive.

Have kids and actually enjoy it. Not the labor part though. Fuck that part.

Dress like a wet dream and own it. MF I know I'm hot and you're just going to have to accept that the booty don't lie even if it ain't available for use.

Expanding on #1, be a slut. Being ace is confusing as fuck, and for those of us who are sex indifferent or sex positive, part of the process is exploring different partners. Sometimes it's curiosity, sometimes it's peer pressure, and sometimes it's just a fun way to pass the night with a cool person. Don't make it weird.

[sketchyface]

Recently found out allosexuals watch porn to imagine having sex with the people in the porn and I wish I could unfind it

[portgasthe-confused-disaster]

I did an oc switch for Ace awareness week on intagram with "#d_an_dy_lion" where we drew each other's oc with an ace flag/ its colours. I also have been designing "Ultimate pride flags" which define me and my friends, including my very own ace pride flag, which is also a gift to wichever fellow ace that might want to use it. I hope y'all stay proud all year long. Have loads of garlic bread, platonic hugs/kisses and stay safe guys!!!🖤🤍💜🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️♠️

[communitypoolswimlessons]

Hey chat. How is sex even real tbh. What do you mean it happens, I thought it was some fairytale thing like the Easter bunny or Queen of England

[foone]

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what foone's romantic/sexual orientation is and how it works, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

[runedscope]

Asexual visibility week is over i finally can have my invisibility powers back

[enter-the-phantom]

I identify as flamboyantly asexual.

I’m very loud about how non-attracted I am to everyone, except for the few people who I’m platonically attracted to, and then I’m very loud about those people.

[kaytypestar]

Maybe I'm simply too asexual to get it, but I just learned today that this "sex" thing people keep raving on about was only discovered in the mid 1980s?

[cookthepenguin]

the holy post

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

[the-irreverend]

pov: you're waking up and it's june 1st

(happy pride month yall!)

[thecommunalfoolboy]

Never trust an asexual who says “for fuck’s sake.” They do not hold stock in the sake of the fuck they are lying and manipulating you