#being a slytherin

[not-rab]

Sirius: I don’t think I can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Regulus: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is.

Sirius: What- no!

[rosemarilee]

Marauders raising Harry:

Lily: I have put a charm on my house and James and regulus’ house so that you won’t be able to swear in front of Harry anymore

Sirius: this is tyranny

Remus: we have rights

James: all we are asking is that you don’t swear in front of our 4 year old

Sirius: I would never-

Regulus: that’s a bold-faced lie

Sirius: how do we know this charm is real

James: try it

Sirius: Fork- god ham it

Remus: here let me try

Remus: #%#*%#*%#

Sirius: HA

Lily: *groans*

Regulus: HOW DO YOU KNOW MORE SWEARS THAN MAGIC ITSELF

[macaulaytwins]

a loose part 2 to the “Sirius Black killed James Potter” nonsense of 1981

[wolvesandshine]

Barty: I’m going to kill my dad

Evan: Sure we can kill my dad too my house is on the way

Regulus: I volunteer killing my parents as a trial run

Everyone else:

[ohnaistars]

I'm a Slytherin…What Do I Do Now?

I’m a Slytherin…What Do I Do Now?

The author of Harry Potter is a TERF. A TERF is a trans exclusionary radical feminist. She denies the existence of trans women. She thinks trans women are just men in dresses that wish to do harm to cisgender women. She thinks that trans men are lost sisters. She is an active threat to trans people across the UK and the world.  She is also the creator of something I hold close to my heart.…

[myrows]

He knows and he accepted it

[ilovejegulus]

*James talking to the slytherin skittles*

James: i try to flirt but he is only mean to me

Pandora:yeah, its the way he flirt

Dorcas: give us an example

James: well yesterday he say he want to choke me with my own eyes...

Evan: ...

Barty: HE LOVE YOU THAT MUCH???

[urfavsherlockholmeskinnie]

Regulus: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Pandora : Did James say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Regulus: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

[kairospy]

When i say James Potter is the little spoon I mean Regulus hates having his back turned to anyone, hates having people where he can’t see them, hands on him while he’s unaware, but James loves being held at any given moment

Movie date? He’s pressed against Regulus’ side. Hanging out with Sirius? They’re essentially holding hands. He will plop down on Regulus’ lap randomly and all Regulus does is change the book to the other hand so he can play with James’ hair

[iwasgrinninglikeimwinning]

Remus: *very very carefully doing sirius's eyeliner*

Peter: come on guys we're late for the party!

Remus: *whips around*

Remus: if you ever interrupt me again while I'm doing padfoot's eyeliner I will personally gouge your eyeballs out

Peter: *terrified for his life*

Sirius: *distracted- too busy staring at where remus's shirt has ridden up with a dreamy smile on his face*

[my-castles-crumbling]

body - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 141

"Did you hear that Potter is the new Head Boy?" Dorcas asked, plopping down into a seat in the compartment.

"Potter?" Regulus asked, looking up from his book.

"Yeah," Dorcas nodded. "Heard it from Marlene on the platform."

Regulus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Of all the horrible choices..."

"Dunno why you hate him so much, Reg," Pandora piped up, peeking out from her magazine, a lolly sticking out of her mouth. "He's calmed down a bit, hasn't he?"

"He's an arse," Regulus scoffed, trying to stay calm, his mouth moving faster than his brain. "He's full of himself. Thinks just because he's fit, he can-" but he broke off, realizing what he'd said.

Barty let out a laugh. "Yeah? What about Potter's body?"

Sighing and trying desperately not to turn red, Regulus muttered, "Nothing. He's just annoying, that's all."

"Suuuure...."

[not-rab]

Regulus: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

James: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Regulus: O-oh. Well... Wait. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

James: Is it working?

[rosemarilee]

Regulus and Harry first meet

Regulus: *has never had a conversation with a child before* so…

Harry: you’re short

Regulus: no you’re short

Harry: I’m a kid I’m supposed to be short

Regulus: I’m an adult I can be whatever the fuck I want to be

Harry: so you chose to be short

Regulus: I’m fucking your dad

Harry: I don’t know what that means

[handmade-witch]

ur texts with Daphne and Pansy about the Slytherin Boys

[randomgurl2326]

Make Me Forget

Theodore Nott x best friend!reader

I just sorta started writing all of the sudden…

Warnings: NSFW!!! Fingering, no actual p in v, praising

You breathe in through the tears. Here you are at your best friend’s dorm, crying. You breathe in and build the courage to do it. You raise your fist to the door.

Knock. Knock

The door swings open and Theo, clad in his sweater and shorts. He sees you crying and leads you in by your shoulder.

“Dolcezza, what happened? Y/N?” At the lack of response from you he becomes worried. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You look up into his dazzling blue eyes that would make you swoon any day and fiddle with the hem of your skirt. Your mouth opens then closes in the same second. This time you wipe a tear and look him dead in the eyes and whimper out, “make me forget. Make me forget, Theo… please.”

He looks puzzled but you leave no time for questions when you take him by the neck and kiss him fiercely. He kisses back with as much vigor and makes you moan at the feel of his soft lips on your chapped ones.

Theo pull back, panting a bit, “dolcezza-“

You shush him softly with the tear stains on your face, “I need this. I need you.”

The Nott boy waits only a split second and crashes his lips on yours. He pulls you onto his lap. He hears you moan, getting wetter with each second.

Theodore pants and starts to buck his hips up. At the feel of his hips you whine and push him back onto the bed by his chest. He watches as you take off your shirt; button by button by button. Slowly teasing him, the lace of your bra cutting through.

He moans as you start to grind on him, “Dolcezza. Y/N. Do you want this? Truly? We can stop right now.”

“I need you. I need you to take the pain, the tears away. I need you, Theodore,” you lean down and kiss him right on the jugular and kiss up his jaw, cheekbones, until you reach his lips.

Theo reaches behind you thighs, slowly creeping his fingers up the inside of your plush thighs. Once he reaches your panties he feels the wetness seeping from them. “So wet, cara mia. kiss All for me?”

You roll your hips at into his hand at the question and quietly whimper, “a-all for you. Ahh. Fuck me.” The statement came as a plead as you sat up on his waist line. The boy lifts up onto his elbows as he peers through his lashes at you.

He trails his fingers from the inside of your thighs to your perfect waist, and lands on the ample plush of your tits. “Why so perfect for me?” He quickly rolls you over so you’re down on the bed. “So needy, dolcezza.”

You moan as he kisses down your neck. You reach down to pull his shirt over his head. You whisper as you trace your fingers along the indentures of his sun-kissed skin, “make love to me, Teddy. I need it.”

Theo leans down and kiss your lips and down your jaw all the way to your shoulder, “your wish is my command, dolcezza.”

He feels you bring your needy hands to his belt buckle and feels you incessantly tug on it, “I got it, tesoro. Let me make you feel good.”

As he undoes his belt he kisses bruises into your neck that won’t go away for days to come. Naught of consequences as he hears your moans of pleasure.

“Theo. Theo. Ne-need your fingers. Please.” Your beg makes him harder than he already is. His veiny hands go down and tease your panties, “all you needed to do was ask, darling.”

You feel his fingers lift the waistband of your panties and split your pussy lips. The wanton moans reach a peak as he find your clit. “C’mon, baby. That’s it, that’s it. You’re so good for me.”

The slow, teasing circles on your clit are maddening, just as you’re about to complain he speeds his fingers up and kisses you. Your spit mixes together as you both pant against each other. As you moan his name you feel his middle finger slide into you. As you flinch at the stretch he soothes you, “it’s okay, it okay. I’m gonna move it now, okay? See? Feels good.” You nod as your closed eyes and open mouth pass along everything that needs to be said. “Yeah, yeah. Good, baby. Feels good, right?”

The pleasure of his thumb rubbing your clit and his middle finger massaging your walls ensnares you. You whimper and the next second a white flash comes across you as you cum. “Teddy! Theo. Theo.” The tears come back as you succumb to the pleasure.

Theo stops his ministrations fearing that he’d hurt you, “Dolcezza? Did I hurt you?” You smile as the tears trail down your face and you bring him down to peck your lips, “no. No. That felt amazing.”

He smiles softly and kisses your salty tears, “you, my beautiful girl, deserve the fucking world.”

——————————————————————————————————

Um? Don’t know where that came from. I truly don’t. First time actually writing smut (or somewhat smut??). I think I’m gonna make a part two where he asks why she came to him. I’ll keep you guys updated. Also, I am very, very sorry to all of my Andromeda and Perseus: Destined readers. I know I promised to get more chapters out but I got sick and I was NOT feeling it.

Thank you for reading!!! I love you ALL!!!!💚💜

[wizardemotions]

pinterest showed me some screenshots of posts that gave me the concept for an au where both harry and ron are sorted slytherin & draco is just slightly less rude in the first book. i could go into why i think this makes a lot of sense for ron but i won't. i've affectionately dubbed them the platinum quartet in my head and they will not leave me the fuck alone