#but sometimes you just have to talk it out with yourself without worrying about nuance too much

[gettothestabbing]

Since I’ve already begun, let me continue from the previous personal post.

I am so very tired of hearing my sister complain about situations that I want to be in. She’s married, pregnant, has a new house, and lives close to our father. But unlike me, she doesn’t see the last thing as beneficial in any way. (The rest, she’s pretty stoked about.)

She has a terrible relationship with our father. He’s definitely not been a good father to her in many ways, so I understand. My relationship with him is better because I don’t feel the need to argue every difference of opinion we have. I’m less confrontational. I still value some of his advice. I don’t admire him anymore, but I can connect with him and tell him things sometimes.

Mimi has never forgiven him for some terrible things he’s said to her. His remarriage destroyed their relationship over several years. He’s excited for his first grandchild, and Mimi hates it, because he is making her pregnancy and her moving closer to him all about him. He’s very self-focused and feels entitled to her time and space because he’s her father. She’s keeping him at arms length. Her husband doesn’t like him at all. I keep trying to play peacemaker between these three and it just doesn’t work very well, long-distance or otherwise, because they won’t talk directly to each other. So all I can do is listen when they each complain to me about one of the others and try to help them see the other perspective.

When I’m tired, lonely, unable to live with my beloved cats (currently living with her), having awful date after awful date, unable to make plans with friends because I had to move to another state for work where I only work evenings and my coworkers are all immigrants who only hang out with each other, I get pretty fucking sick of complaints about how awful it is for people to (1) want to see her not-yet-fully-furnished house, (2) give her advice she’s not going to follow about her baby, or in Dad’s case (3) act entitled to her time and try to make her invite people over that she doesn’t like.

Oh gosh, people want to be around you and help you out? Wish I had that! People are selfish and don’t understand you when you literally have refused for years to actually tell them how you feel about anything? Go figure!! Do you think there’s any way to change that? No? Ok, just tell me how much you hate them for not reading your mind. It’s not like you sound exactly like my patients, who are nice until you mess up the plan they have for their day in their head that they never told you they had.

I’ve had one relationship. One. We had 6 dates and then 2 years of terrible long-distance nothing. Outside of that, I’ve had like 30 first and second dates. The only way I cope with that is by trying to turn these experiences into funny stories for others. She married her first boyfriend from college after living with him for like a year. She’s never had a bad first date, or used a dating app, or been stood up or ghosted or dumped or had someone just give up on the date twenty minutes in with no explanation. She got pregnant the first try, while I am trying to accept the increasingly real possibility of never being able to marry or have children. She hasn’t had a job in years because she doesn’t need one, and is having a lovely time being a homemaker and mom-in-waiting. I’d love to be either of those things, if not both. But given how long it’s taking me to find anyone to even hit a third date with, I’m just trying to reconcile myself to being happy single and working my whole life. Got to prepare for all possible futures and ward off despair!

I really wish I didn’t feel so resentful of it all. I want to be a good older sister. I have a good job, save my money, act on my principles, and try to be kind. I hope I’m setting a good example in the ways that I can. People always assume that she’s older than me, not because of her looks (she’s gorgeous), but because she’s married/pregnant/a homeowner/always giving me advice. They’re quite shocked when I reveal I’m the older one. It’s all disheartening. I always wanted to be a great older sister, ever since I realized what that term meant. But Mimi never needed one. No one else sees me that way.

And the longer Dad’s second marriage goes on, the more I realize that he doesn’t need me around either. When Mom died, Dad started to rely on me a lot. I got into an all-IB high school, so I didn’t have to do chores like Mimi, but he relied on me more emotionally. So when he remarried, and I went to college, I was still relying on him. I called and talked to him regularly. And when he had his stroke, I took care of him during the day. I gave up my summer job immediately. Even when he decided to switch to medical care, I supported his physical therapy as much as I could during law school. But now I live several hours away again. He stopped showing interest in my life unless it was about my being promoted or dating; his dating advice is usually “be nicer to the guy” no matter how I’m being treated. When I do call, he’s just not interested in what I have to say anymore, so I call much less often. He’s been married to my stepmom for about ten years now. I’m not married or giving him a grandchild or close by, so I’m no longer a priority. Even if we’re not as close now, it hurts to know that. I can’t imagine complaining the way Mimi does about Dad wanting to be around me or see how I’m doing.

Usually I try to finish these long whiny posts with something uplifting or hopeful, but today, I really don’t have anything. Honestly, sometimes I wish I was sad and crazy enough to actually kill myself. I’m not at that point and hopefully never will be. But I almost wish I was. I feel like I’m failing at life and I can’t reach out properly to people without feeling like a burden and quickly reversing course and telling them I’m fine. If I had a serious problem, maybe I could get the support I want, but I shouldn’t wish for such things.

[reorientation]

(This is the "centering" anon - btw, such a fantastic reply, I've been shaking since I saw it.) Slightly veering into real talk, do you think it's realistic to hope for someone who sees all of me? Instead of just someone who seeks to use my lapse in judgement as weakness to control me? I'd like to be controlled but in a sexy way; even in my "I'm a woman" moments (additionally I'm definitely still genderqueer) I can't separate my feminism from that experience of womanhood. Are there men out there wanting this mess of juxtaposition? Everything about what I want feels wrong, and it's ironically resonant to how I felt as a teen. Really tired of feeling this way and hoping for advice on how to engage in a healthy way (instead of constantly feeling drawn to return to anonymous cam sites where I have the best orgasms of my life then panic that the wrong men will find me or expose me). Thanks for your time and for your skill with word-weaving! If you don't feel equipped to answer this, no worries, I know this is probably a Lot.

(Previously)

Okay, a sharp swerve into seriousness: this kind of advice is definitely beyond my personal experience as a cis man (albeit one with many non-cis friends). However, on general principles and based on my knowledge of kink, I think I can offer this:

...do you think it's realistic to hope for someone who sees all of me? ... Are there men out there wanting this mess of juxtaposition?

What you're asking is the wrong question. It's very tempting to add up all your faults and complexities and ask yourself "who's looking for this?" - but people don't fall in love with bundles of abstract attributes, and they also don't add up complexities until hitting some threshold and going "nah, this is too confusing, I'm out".

You find someone who likes you as a person - your sense of humor, your taste in books, the way you smile - and who you like in return, and then you try to make it work. Sometimes it doesn't, due to circumstances or communication problems or personality conflicts or any number of other things. But sometimes it does. And when someone cares about you as a person, they're willing to learn your nuances and contradictions, because they're part of someone who they could come to love.

And as to your situation specifically:

I'd like to be controlled but in a sexy way; even in my "I'm a woman" moments (additionally I'm definitely still genderqueer) I can't separate my feminism from my experience of womanhood.

I'm biased by my experience with disproportionately queer friend groups in a liberal city in the US - so YMMV a lot based on local demographics - but "AFAB genderqueer feminist sub" doesn't seem unusual to me in the slightest, or something that would be a barrier to finding partners! Also, in my experience, people into real-life kink are disproportionately liberal (and nerdy - if you're trying to locate people who are into BDSM without going to a munch, find a D&D group), so the feminism part really shouldn't be a problem.

Gender play specifically requires an understanding partner, but with mutual trust and a bit of explanation, I don't think it's all that taboo or hard to understand - not more than e.g. a feminist woman wanting to be treated like property in the bedroom.

Really tired of feeling this way and hoping for advice on how to engage in a healthy way

As with most things in life, the healthy approach involves spending less time on the internet. If you want a romantic partner, find hobby groups or other social venues. If you want to explore kink specifically, you can visit some munches (non-sexual regular meetups for people involved with kink) to dip your toe in. Pursue things you're interested in by forming personal connections with people who you can trust, and you'll probably find things a lot easier.

[aspd-culture]

what does "disregarding/ignoring/violating the rights of others" mean in aspd crit. can someone list some examples because i cannot think of anything except abuse, torture, s*xual abuse/assault (specifying cus theres also just physical assault/battery), etc (just cus its how i described my abuse/assault that happened to me and not cus i think all pwaspd are abusive lmao)

Well, yes I think we can all agree those would be included but sometimes it's more nuanced and less blatant than that. The thing about any of the above (plus stealing and stalking which also belong on that list I think) is the way it's done - little to no remorse, easily justifying it to yourself, etc. are a major part of this disorder so if someone were to do those things and have trouble being ok with the fact that they did it, then imo it wouldn't count as disregarding/ignoring their rights. With that in mind I think it becomes easier to the see the less obvious things.

Stuff like using a reserved parking space because "I got to it first" or "they don't need all these spaces", openly speaking about information told to you in confidence especially private things like medical information or outing someone as lgbt, intentionally making someone uncomfortable for your own amusement/ends, etc along those lines. Rights to privacy, solitude, peace, comfort, freedom of choice, etc are also included in this.

I talk a lot about Greg House as a [Spoiler alert for House MD seasons 1-early 6]

(diagnosed in canon) example of ASPD because there aren't many, and he's a particularly good example for this question.

Ways House violates others rights include putting a cochlear implant in someone who refused it because "he's choosing a disability which is messed up when there are many others who don't get to choose", manipulating information to get consent for procedures patients wouldn't have consented to otherwise, telling cashiers whoever he's talking to will buy his lunch and walking away immediately afterwards so they're pressured to do so, stealing SO MUCH of Wilson's food, walking into rooms not just even if the door is closed, but especially if the door is closed, encouraging/demanding his team break into patients' homes without consent including stealing their keys, going behind Wilson's back to question his exes about him, harassing multiple people who have made it clear they don't want to speak to him, turning a group of potential employees into numbers (cough cough 13 who stays that way forever by choice), making games out of both patients and employees' lives (he does this job exclusively for the pleasure of "solving puzzles", as he puts it, and is willing to break the law and violate ethics codes if it means solving the puzzle even if the patient ends up deceased for him to do so), disrespecting workplace safety practices in big and small ways, jumping his place in line for MRI/other machines and lab testing, setting up differentials in and refusing to leave others' offices to get things he wants/needs, and intentionally making everyone he employs and/or is employed by uncomfortable for the sole purpose of "making sure they're cut out to work for him" or making them worried about fighting with him so he can get what he wants, respectively, and oh yeah literally practicing medicine and sometimes surgery while high 25/8 and sometimes while hallucinating.

This is literally just off the top of my head there are so many more because it was a long time ago and if you think we are demonized now, just look back at the 2000's or before.

Out of context, any few of those may just make him selfish, a prick, or unconventional yet effective at his job, but combining that with both his feelings about doing those things (it is extremely rare that House feels any remorse and usually only if he crosses a line so badly that it risks his ability to continue his life as he knows it) and his other symptoms, you get ASPD. The fact that he has to actively try to remember others can have boundaries and deserve respect is what makes it ASPD, and means he isn't a prick or selfish, he's just struggling to understand what seems like an obvious concept to others around him.

The same goes with anyone else; these things are fairly insignificant by themselves but if its more a true personality trait (happens across multiple situations including to people you are close with and strangers etc) then it starts to hold weight as a symptom - sometimes moreso than the larger rights violations you mentioned above because hopefully those are few and far between while more minor things like this can be seen as a constant/daily thing.

Super good question and I appreciate you asking it. /gen A lot of people see that bit of criteria and jump straight to violent crime and just assume that's what it means and whilst it definitely can be, not everyone with ASPD is so disregarding of others' rights that they commit violent crimes.

[my-strange-attraction]

hey do you have any advice on how to deal with aphobia that maybe isn't so blatant and comes from your friends? So I'm oriented aroace and do not desire relationships and I've expressed this to my friend, but I don't think she understands me. When I first came out she thought I was joking, and then I had to correct her after a while when she would try shipping me with people (which I hate). And this was all fine but it got worse a few days ago when she tried to get me to ask out a guy(her crush!!!) and I told her no and to stop because I am very much aroace to which she said "are you sure because it really doesn't seem like it not that I'm discouraging it." For context, people tend to mistake my interest in others as friends as romantic interest because I fixate on specific people sometimes. Also, this was coming out of a place of jealousy from her because I am better friends with her crush than she is. Thanks in advance, your advice is really helpful

Situations like these can be really tough! You want to set the record straight and establish clear boundaries of how you want the people you care about to treat you, but you also don't want to come across too harsh and risk them not understanding or thinking you're overreacting. Unfortunately, there's few ways to handle this situation without setting a clear and uncompromising boundary.

Your friend needs to know what exactly she's done wrong and why it is hurting you, and how she can avoid making similar mistakes in the future. I would recommend telling her what you've told me, that you're worried she doesn't really understand you or that she doesn't believe you and it hurts you because you're a human being who deserves to be respected for the labels you choose for yourself, regardless of what others' opinions may be on if they fit you or not.

I would also recommend that you nudge your friend to do some research of her own on the topic. It is very difficult to concisely explain all the nuances of split attraction and microlabels in the aspec community, and unless she really spends some time with it, it may just be a slippery concept. If you have a blog on here where you talk about your experiences and you feel comfortable, you can show her that, or if you don't then there are so so many blogs that you can show her that go into depth on these topics. I probably only have a few posts myself about oriented aspec identities, but there are so many great blogs out there that talk specifically about them and which you probably already know about since you've come to identify with the label in the first place.

Also on a smaller, microaggressions level, like that comment she made, tell her in the moment to cut the bs. Probably not in those words unless she's really not listening, but she needs to know in the moment when comments she makes are not ok with you. It can be scary to confront someone in the moment before you've had time to think over what to tell them, but it will have the biggest, most immediate impact that way.

The only thing I'd caution you about is bringing up the part about her crush. If you're having a deeper conversation with her and she seems to really be understanding you, it might be good to mention to her that even if you were interested in and dating the guy she likes, it's something that she would have to be ok with because thats the mature way to handle interpersonal relationships. But honestly that part just sounds like a problem of juvenile crush culture, which she should grow out of as she matures (I'm assuming for the sake of answering this ask that you're around middle/ high school age and I hope I'm not too off base with that).

All in all, it seems like something you should be able to work out if your friend values your guys' friendship and puts in the work to understand you, and if you put in the effort to make sure your boundaries are clear. Because it's not as blatant homophobia, it seems like it's mostly coming from a place of not understanding or being very educated on the topic, and I am optimistic that you will be able to talk to her about it and still remain friends.

I hope this advice was helpful and as always anyone who sees this post can feel free to add on any other advice that they feel is relevant! Best of luck, anon, and thanks for the ask <3

[allezelizabeth]

How Social Media is Spoiling the Travel Experience (And Why You Should Unplug When You Travel)

"People take things at face value on social media. Earnestness is the assumption." - Mindy Kaling It's no secret that social media has changed how we live. We document our every move on Facebook and TikTok, post pictures of our meals on Instagram, and share our thoughts on Twitter. And while social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, it's also detrimental to how we travel. Remember when you used to have to go places to see things? And people would talk to each other while they were there? Yeah, those were the days. But all that changed when social media came along. Now, it seems everyone is more interested in capturing the perfect photo for their feed than actually enjoying the experience. By the time you get home, there's nothing left to tell!  With platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, it's never been easier to document our lives and share those experiences with our friends and followers. But is all this documentation and sharing ruining travel? Let's take a closer look. Social Media Kills Travel By Putting Unnecessary Pressure on Travelers In the past, if you wanted to get a great photo of yourself in front of the Taj Mahal, you might have to wait a bit until there were no relatives or other tourists in your shot. Of course, this means that everyone else is trying to do the same thing, which can lead to some pretty big crowds at popular tourist destinations.  Moreover, all this documentation often leads to FOMO (fear of missing out). We're constantly bombarded with images of idealized vacations on social media in today's world. We see our friends posting photos of pristine beaches, perfect sunsets, and sumptuous meals, and we can't help but feel like we're missing out and sometimes feel like we have to one-up them. So we plan bigger and better vacations, often spending more money than we can afford. And when we finally take that trip, we're so focused on getting great photos and videos that we don't enjoy ourselves. But we don't see the less-than-ideal moments that happen on every trip. The missed flights, the lousy weather, the stomach bugs - those are the things that don't make for good Instagram posts. As a result, we often forget that everyone's experiences are imperfect, and that's OK. If you're tired of FOMO and the pressures of social media, it might be time to unplug on your next vacation. Yes, that means no posting on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. No checking your email or Twitter notifications. Just you, enjoying the experience without worrying about getting the perfect shot for your feed. This was in DC. She didn't even see me there. *shrug* Social Media Gives Us False Expectations of What Travel Should Be We've all been there. You're planning a trip and start scrolling through Instagram, looking at all the beautiful places your friends have been. Suddenly, you feel like your life is inadequate because you don't see the world as much as they do. We see our friends post about their amazing trips, and we think that we should be able to have the same experience. Everyone curates their own version of reality on social media. Just because someone had a great time doesn't mean that you will too. The best way to find out if you'll enjoy a place is by seeing it yourself.  Many people have become disillusioned with a destination because it didn't meet their social media-fueled expectations. You often hear stories about the French (*insert any other demonym*) being rude, people getting arrested for committing a cultural faux pas, or worse yet, some idiot (or group of idiots) filming themselves doing stupid shit for likes.  These incidents sometimes get blown out of proportion because social media allows us to share news instantaneously without the nuance or context required to make it digestible. Social media often gives us a one-sided view of reality. When I went to Brussels, I kept getting messages about how it was dangerous to be there. "Aren't you afraid of getting bombed?" "Watch your back; there are a lot of pickpockets!" I was starting to get worried, especially since I would be there alone. But when I arrived in Brussels, I found it a safe and beautiful city. Yes, there were pickpockets, but there are pickpockets everywhere. I never felt unsafe, and I had a fantastic time. And yes, the waffles are fucking delicious. The next time you're planning a trip, don't base your decision on what you see on social media. Remember that what you see on social media is just ONE person's experience. Do your research, don't expect things to be as you saw them online, and form your own opinion about a place. One of the best parts about traveling is discovering new places for yourself. "People take things at face value on social media. Earnestness is the assumption." - Mindy Kaling Social Media Has Taught Us Not To Respect Each Other's Travel Experiences We've all been there. You're in the middle of enjoying a beautiful sunset when someone in your group whips out their phone and starts taking photos or videos. Or you're trying to enjoy a meal at a nice restaurant, but the person next to you is more interested in getting the perfect photo of their food than actually tasting it. When we're constantly looking at our phones, we're not present in the moment. How can you truly take in the beauty of a sunset when you're too busy trying to get the perfect picture?  If you're not careful, you'll end up with photos of places you don't remember. In the age of social media, it's all about getting that perfect shot. What do you do when there's a person in front of you taking a million photographs while trying to appreciate a stunning view? It can be frustrating, especially if you're trying to enjoy the moment. I've often found myself waiting for people to finish taking their photos so that I can get my shot. But even then, it's not always possible to get the image you want because there are too many people around. Remember, you're not the only one trying to get a shot. Other people want photographic souvenirs too.  But if you're not careful, you might ruin the experience for everyone else. If you're planning on taking a lot of photos, be considerate of other people and try to take them quickly so that everyone can enjoy the view. And if you see someone taking their time to enjoy the moment, maybe put your camera away and just appreciate the experience with them. I was shocked to see people shuffling through Monet's Gardens at Giverny. Here is the identical perspective that Monet painted, and visitors were just snapping photos (usually in front of us sitting on the bench taking in the view) without apology or slowing down long enough to appreciate it. If you don't want to enjoy Monet's work, please don't ruin it for the rest of us. Give people the same courtesy that you would want to be given to you. It's not only about being obnoxious; it's also about missing out on the experience. If you're focused on getting that perfect photo, you might not even notice the little things that make travel special. Take a step back and soak in your surroundings. Appreciate the view without always needing to document it. And most importantly, respect other people's space and experiences. We can all coexist peacefully and still enjoy the beauty of travel.  It's one thing to take a photo or two to remember the moment, but it's another thing to spend the whole time taking photos and not enjoying the experience. If you're too busy taking photos, you're not traveling – you're just going through the motions. Social Media is a Bubble, and You Might Be Surprised to Learn that Not Everyone Enjoys Having Their Photo Taken.  If you're the type who likes to take many photos when you travel, that's great! But remember that not everyone is like that. Some people downright hate having their photos taken.  Whenever you want to take a picture of someone, always ask for permission first. Not only is it courteous to do, but it will also help you avoid any potential awkwardness. Remember that not everyone enjoys having their photo taken, and that's perfectly normal. Social Media Encourages Us to Compare Our Lives to Others Another problem with social media is that it encourages us to compare our lives to others. It can be particularly dangerous when it comes to travel because it's easy to look at somebody else's vacation photos and think, "Why can't my life be like that?" But here's the thing: we all have different lives, and what works for one person might not work for another. Just because somebody else can afford to travel worldwide doesn't mean that you can—and that's OK! You don't need to feel guilty or ashamed if you can't travel as much as somebody else. The important thing is that you're doing what works for you and making the most of your situation. This is similar to point one, but it's worth mentioning here because it's a common trap to fall into when scrolling through social media feeds. When we're constantly bombarded with images of other people's seemingly perfect lives—perfect vacations, perfect bodies, perfect relationships—it's easy to compare our own lives to theirs and come up short. We start to question why our trips don't look as glamorous as the ones we see on social media, and before long, convincing us that we're doing travel wrong. The truth is, there's no right or wrong way to travel. The only way to do it wrong is not to do it at all. It's easy to get caught up in what other people are doing and forget what's important to you. When we see someone posting about their fifth trip this year, we might question why we're not doing the same. But just because someone is traveling more than you doesn't make them happier or better than you. You should do what works for you and meets your needs, not what looks good on social media.  We all have imperfections, including the people whose lives look effortlessly perfect on social media. So instead of comparing your life to others, focus on being grateful for what you have. Social Media Give Us a Distorted View of Reality It's important to remember that social media can give us a distorted view of reality. People tend only to post their best photos on Facebook or Instagram, meaning we only see other people's highlight reels. And while there's nothing wrong with sharing your best moments with your friends and family members, it's important to remember that those moments only represent a small slice of somebody else's life. Just because somebody looks like they're having a fantastic time in their vacation photos doesn't mean they didn't experience any problems during their trip—they probably did! It just means they chose not to share those problems with their friends and followers on social media. Next time you find yourself scrolling through your feed and feeling envy towards somebody else's vacation photos, try to remember that you only see one side of the story. Usually, it's the side with the best angle. Appreciate, but avoid envy. There are always two sides to every story. Social Media Makes Us Think We're Experiencing the World When We're Not  One of the biggest problems with social media is that it gives us the false impression that we're experiencing the world when we're not. For example, let's say you're scrolling through your Facebook feed and see a picture of your best friend at the top of the Eiffel Tower. You might think to yourself, "Wow, she's so lucky! I wish I could be there." But here's the thing: you're not experiencing anything by looking at that picture. You're not feeling the wind in your hair as you stand atop the tower. You're not smelling the fresh croissants from a nearby bakery. You're not hearing the sounds of the city bustling below you. You're just looking at a picture. And while pictures can be nice, they'll never replace the real thing. The world is a living, breathing entity you may engage with if you put your phone down. Don't just sit there and admire other people's travel photos—get out there and explore the world for yourself! And remember that social media can be a form of escapism, so make sure to engage with the world around you rather than just looking at pictures. Conclusion Traveling is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. It broadens your horizons, teaches new things, and allows you to meet interesting people worldwide. But in recent years, social media has taken away some of the joy of travel. We get caught up in trying to have the perfect experience instead of just enjoying ourselves. Relax and take a break. It's simple: we use our phones 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and they become the focus of everything else around us. So next time you plan a trip, put down your phone and live in the moment instead of constantly checking it. After all, that's what travel is all about. PIN ME! Read the full article

[loveborn]

general dating glamrock freddy hcs!

notes: gn!reader

You’re really lucky if you’re dating Freddy, he has so much love to give! He’s incredibly sweet and openly affectionate, if not a little clueless how to act in a relationship. That’s not the kind of information he was preprogrammed with. To figure things out, he starts to keep a closer eye on any couples interacting at the Pizzaplex, picking up on the nicknames they use and the gestures they show each other. (There’s a decent chance he’ll pick up something slightly inappropriate or just plain uncharacteristic.) But there’s never anything more than a quick peck or a hug in front of the kids, though! His hugs are a lot less stiff than you might expect.

He’s a great listener! An active one too, making noises and asking questions where appropriate. His memory is a lot more effective than those of humans, so he’s never going to forget the things you tell him. If he wasn’t stuck in the Pizzaplex, he’d 100% give the best gifts. Freddy still tries, but… The things he can get you are either themed after himself or one of his friends. Venting to him is fine as well, even if he has the tendency to worry a bit too much. He also isn’t the best at giving advice since he has a lot of gaps in his knowledge.

In return, he’ll ask you to teach him more about the world outside the Pizzaplex! There’s no other human he’s quite comfortable enough with to ask a lot without feeling like he’s wasting their time. Most likely, he’d be interested in whatever trends are popular among the kids. He’s always striving to entertain them better, and it helps if he knows what they like outside the mall. But in all honesty, he’ll listen to you talk about anything he’s never heard about. As an AI, he has a deeply ingrained desire to learn more about subjects he’s unfamiliar with. Fine motor skills are a huge challenge for him which makes it difficult to read books or play games, if you leave him any. 

Freddy is pretty fussy. Scanning to see if you’re alright, asking if you’re taking care of yourself, making you promise to go to bed early… It can be a bit too much, sometimes. Compared to the rest of the animatronics, he’s one who can have the tendency to treat you too much like a child. (Sun can be worse than him.) It’s not that he sees you as one, or that he doesn’t think you can be independent… But he was made to primarily interact with children, and for most of the days, he does. From time to time, he has some trouble adjusting to the fact that you can handle yourself just fine. As soon as you mention it to him, he’ll reel it in. The last thing he’d want is to make you feel worse.

Do not talk yourself down in front of him. Freddy’s horrified, hurting in your stead! Even if it’s a joke, he doesn’t get it. (And if he did understand completely, it’d still make him uncomfortable.) All of the animatronics have trouble picking up on nuances in people’s tone and expressions, but Freddy a little more so than the others. He’ll take it very seriously. The first opportunity he gets, he’s taking you away and sitting down with you somewhere private. Immediately, he’s asking if someone told you such negative things, telling you that they aren’t true, and all kinds of things in that direction. He’ll tell you he loves you. 

A love for singing and dancing is the foundation of his programming. There’s no way he’d pass up an opportunity to enjoy his hobbies with you by his side! Freddy couldn’t care less whether you are any good or not, as long as you’re having fun. It’s not like stepping on his feet hurts him, or hitting the wrong note makes him cringe. He’s a very patient teacher either way. One who would never berate or raise his voice at you. He could go over the same steps again and again the entire night, and he still wouldn’t feel better. At every little improvement, he’s overflowing with praise.

His ears start twitching a lot if he’s embarrassed. ‘Wriggling back and forth’ could be a more accurate description. You can hear his internal fans whirring if it’s really bad.

[sukunarii]

Pairing: Yandere! Sukuna x Reader

Warnings: (Sukuna’s Era!) Yandere | Unhealthy relationship | Murder | Blood| This fic is much darker than my usual style! Please beware when you read it. 

Synopsis: In the early morning, you would play your koto in your garden. It was a show for one audience: a stranger that refused to step out of the shadows. A stranger that perhaps grew too fond of you.

Wordcount: 3.0K

A/N: A koto is a Japanese instrument kind of like a harp. Also this fic might be very historical inaccurate. This fic is inspired by a poem by William Blake titled “Song:  When early morn walks forth in sober grey.” 

The sky was gray on the day you first spoke to him. It was early morning, you were in your garden, under the gazebo as usual where you go to practice playing your koto. You enjoyed it, for it was one of the only times where you could feel absorbed in your own world, in your own solitude and tranquility. However, you have noticed that lately, you were not so much alone.

"Behind the willow tree, I know you're there," you called out. You could see the shadow shift, but the person behind did not step out into your view.

"I see you have noticed me," a masculine voice replied. It carried a hint of playfulness.

"Of course I have, you've disturbed my peace for a few mornings now," you replied.

"Am I not welcomed?", he asks.

"What brings you here?", you asked back immediately.

His answer did not come as quick as yours, as if he chose his words carefully  "I was captivated by the music you played," he complimented you.

You were flattered, you had to pause and recollect your thoughts for a moment. If he is just here to listen....well there's no harm, right?

You let out an airy laugh, "As my only audience, I supposed you are welcomed to stay." 

You resumed to playing your koto. From behind the willow tree, Sukuna stole a few glances at you. Along with the beautiful music you created, you looked so effortless and absorbed in your own world while playing. A world that Sukuna could step a foot into by observing you from afar but felt too delicate for him to disturb. You were like an angel while he was a curse— a monster. He shouldn’t have any business with a girl like you. 

Yet you called him, 'My only audience'...he liked the sound of that.

You were playing for him only, and he was glad that he did not even have to capture you for this. After all, a caged bird does not sing the same.

However, the serenity of dawn was disturbed by the loud and abrupt chime of the bell.

With a jolt, you stopped playing.

"Ah, that was the wake up call for the village, I got to go now," you said and got up.

From his shadow, you see him stand up too. You hesitated but decided to ask anyways, "Will you tell me your name?"

He laughs lightheartedly, "A musician does not need to know the name of their audience."

The buds on the dull brown branches were blooming into beautiful flowers that decorated the garden. Summer was approaching. It became routine, he would come to your little concert every morning. It was romantic even. You did not know who he was, but sometimes you would carry little conversations with him. You knew that he was not from the village, he said he travelled up from the valley every morning to visit you.

Knowing that he was not from the village also gave you a sense of security as you could tell him anything and everything without worrying that he would spread rumours. Afterall, you were the daughter of the richest man in the village, from suitors to enemies to your family's reputation, there was so much that you had to keep to yourself. You've learned to express these thoughts into the music you played, but being able to say them out loud in words was relieving.

He was your audience and you were his musician.

Nonetheless, most of the time, very few words were exchanged. It was just you, him, your music in the air and the garden in the surroundings.

You were wearing a purple kimono the day you asked him if you could see him. He gave you the same response as the day you asked him for his name, "A musician does not need to know the appearance of their audience."

You sighed, disappointed, "How about if I ask you as a friend?"

From the flickers of his shadow, you could tell he hesitated. Your heart started racing, in hopes that you will finally see your mysterious friend. But, you were left disappointed, "Not today, my darling. You're still not ready yet."

You looked at his shadow quizzically, what did he mean by not ready? Did he have self-esteem issues? Or a scar? Or was he really ugly...? Not that you would have minded of course, you pouted, "That's not fair. You get to see me all the time."

He chuckles, "I think this is for the better."

The urge to show himself to you or even take you for himself was very strong. However, he had to hold himself back, he didn't want you to be afraid of him. For one, you just called him a 'friend'. And he knew that if he did show himself however, this friendship would be over. You were an angel. He was a curse. Sometimes fate was cruel that way.

The green leaves that fell from the trees were fluttering in the summer breeze. Lately Sukuna has been observing you more and more throughout the day. Instead of rampaging the nearby villages, he would spend more time observing you from the outskirts of your village.

The more he observed, the more he noticed the amount of unsolicited male attention you get when you stroll in the village. Had he not been a curse, he wished he could be strolling by your side and indicating to all of those nuisances that you were his.

The village was not very large, thus, Sukuna has come to recognize most of the faces. However, one time there was a strange man with black hair that appeared in the village. Not that Sukuna cared much as long as he didn't try to flirt with his little darling — except the man did this very thing: he stopped you.

Sukuna could not hear what the man said to you, but he could certainly feel the rage rising in him. The urge to kill this man was very strong. In fact, in the heat of the moment he feels like he could kill everyone in this village to prove his point. Seeing another man try to talk to you so intimately enraged him. He has held himself back multiple times from rampaging your village and taking you home with him. Taking you as his. But for your sake, he has managed to suppress these dark thoughts. But not this time.

He approached you, or specifically the stranger menacingly...with killing intent. But once he was in hearing distance, he heard you tell the man firmly,

"I'm not interested."

The man paused. But insisted again, "Why not? I can treat you right."

"I'm interested in someone else," you told him.

Sukuna paused. Were you talking about him?

"What? No way, who might this be and how come I've never heard of this before! You're just making up lies to turn down my love," he argues back condescendingly.

You shot him a dirty look and you tried to leave but he grabs your arm, “Hold it there girl, I’m not done talking yet.”

That’s it. You slapped him. Not a weak slap, a hard one. The man's face flipped towards the other side.

"That is none of your business. Now if you would excuse me," you said angrily and turned around and left.

Sukuna smiled, 'That's my girl.'

He didn't even have to do anything.

You ran your hand through the calming blue water of the pond in your garden. You have strained your hand from playing on the koto for too much, they were sore and calloused. You tried inviting your friend to come feel the water too but he refused, insisting on remaining well hidden from your view.

"He is from this powerful family, the Zenin clan I believe. And he seems really interested in me."

Sukuna didn't answer.

"But I'll keep rejecting him, I don't like him and don't care for his advances," you rambled on, then sighed, "However I can't say the same for my parents. They are interesting in getting a hold of the powers of the Zenin clans."

"Why don't you leave the village with me?" he finally answered you.

You didn't think he was serious, but you entertained his idea, "They're not just your normal powerful families. They are very powerful as in even if we leave the village, there's nowhere left to run."

"Then I'll just kill them. Everyone of them."

You laughed bittersweetly, what could he possibly do against them when he was too shy to even show himself to you? The Zenin clan was one of the most powerful sorcerers of the eras!

"Haha, yeah that would be nice. But with all of the curses rampaging the nearby villages, we really need the Zenin clan's protection. It really sucks but they're powerful jujutsu sorcerers, it's a miracle that our village is not destroyed yet unlike the our neighbouring villages,” but swiftly, your fake optimism fades. You couldn’t play your koto today, but this stranger was your friend and talking to him gives a sense of comfort. He was listening to you and he was trustworthy.

You say softly, “If only something happened to their third son so that he would stop trying to woo me all of the time...." then, you laughed sheepishly, "Of course I'm just joking haha, I mean it's awful to wish death on someone..."

But Sukuna only heard the first part.

With summer abruptly coming to an end and winter approaching, sunrise came later every day. The sky was still black the morning you broke down crying to him. It was moonless.

"I-I know I said I wished he was d-dead, but I didn't mean it f-for real," you said between your sobs, "I just didn't w-want to marry h-him, but he got killed by a curse and I f-feel like I cursed him."

"Wasn't that what you wanted?", the intonations of his voice came out as cold as the autumn air. However, you were too absorbed in your sadness to pick up these nuances.

"No! I would never truly want anyone to die! That’s awful!”

“Now you won’t have to worry about unsolicited attention anymore,” he answered briskly

You hugged your knees closer to your chest and buried your face into them, “It didn’t make a difference...the Zenin offered their s-second son instead..., so it wasn't cancelled regardless..."

"What wasn't cancelled?", Sukuna asked.

"The wedding...”

Sukuna's jaw tightened. He was upset. Furious. You’ve mentioned that the Zenin family was interested in you but you’ve never mentioned that there was anything official. He didn't like that you didn't mention this to him at all. 

"Leave with me."

This time it wasn't a question. It was an order. Yet, you refused it again.

"I can't. I can't leave my family behind like that...if I run away, the Zenin clan would bare a grudge against them, who knows what they’ll do..."

For the first time, Sukuna finally stepped out of the shadows.

But you didn't notice, nor did you see him, the obscurity of the lightless sky hid him from your vision.

"Pathetic, why would you care about family that are selling you off to strangers? This is why you humans are so weak. Being emotional for things that do not matter," he says, words dripping with menace.

Your eyes widened, alerted by the swift change of mood. Tension high in the air. He did not sound like the friend that you knew. It’s as if he was a real stranger.

"That's not true! It's wrong to be selfish, they're my family. I have to listen to them and it's for the best of the village," you tried to reason but you were worried that he could hear the slight fear in your trembling voice.

"Oh yes because the Zenin clan will protect your village from curses. You think too highly of them. When I killed that nuisance, he was crawling and crying, begging for his life. He may be a little stronger than your average jujutsu sorcerer but he was still a weak human." Sukuna was tired of keeping up his calming and human-like demeanour. He topped off his statement with a sadistic laugh.

However, you didn't answer him. Not immediately at least, you were soaking in the words he just said. You gasped.

"Y-You mean you killed him?!"

You took a step back in shock and fear. You were told that he was killed by a curse...if this stranger you've befriended was a curse and one strong enough to kill someone from the Zenin family....you were in deep trouble.

Sukuna continued laughing, "Ah, yes I killed him. I sliced his body into pieces but I preserved the head so he could be recognized. It was a masterpiece, you should of seen the expression of anguish on his decapitated head!"

All of his efforts of wanting to preserve this friendship, fearing to taint your innocence, and scared of not being delicate around you, all thrown away in the heat of the moment. It didn't matter anymore, not when annoying jujutsu sorcerers were going to get in the way and take you away from him.

You screamed, "Get away from me, you monster!"

Your fight or flight instincts kicked in, this man in front of you— no this curse in front of you— was not a friend. You have befriended something much more sinister, he was a killer. A powerful killer and from the enthusiasm in his voice, he was a sadistic one too. You turned to run back to your house.

To your surprise, he didn't follow you. He watched you and even if you can't see him, you can tell that he was smiling.

You didn't dare to leave the house the days before the wedding. You were also too scared to tell anyone about your foolish encounter with a curse. Instead, you urged your parents to push the wedding earlier. The earlier the better, much to their delight.

Luckily, you did not hear about him and it seems that things have returned to normal. But your instincts say otherwise. If you play with fire, you ought to get burned. And you seemed to have attracted the attention of something very ominous.

You were wearing white on the day of the wedding. A veil covering your face. As per tradition, you were patiently waiting for your groom in another room, waiting for him to lift the veil off your face and take you to the main ceremony room to present you to the invited guests and families. Then allow the head of the households to pronounce you as husband and wife.

Maybe it was your nervousness, it seemed that every minute went by slower. Almost as if the ceremony has been delayed. But with your eyes covered by the veil, all you could do was wait.

Then finally, you heard someone approaching you. You feel a hand gently lift the veil off your face. To your surprise, the person who brought you out of the darkness was not the second son of the Zenin family. There he was, the powerful curse that rampaged villages: Sukuna. You might be the only person who has seen all four of his arms and eyes up close and lived to tell the tale. Not that you would have anyone to tell this to.

He was covered in blood. You were not sure who's but from the silence and the lack of wounds on him, you can formulate a pretty good guess. You drew in a sharp breath and jerked away from his touch, hoping to crawl away even.

"Help!", you shouted out hoping that anyone would hear — anyone at all....wasn't half of the Zenin household here? What were they doing?

"Shh, I was late because I had to take care of some trash, but don't worry, I'm here now," Sukuna says to you. You recognized his voice right away.

You were so terrified that you didn't even notice tears started coming out of your eyes. You struggled to get away from him, you clawed at him, tried to push him away, but it didn't work. He didn't even flinch.

"(Name), stop that before you anger me," he warned you.

You didn't listen.

"You're a monster," you spat at him and you tried to slap him but he stops your hand midair, the blood on his hands imprinting onto your white kimono.

"I'm not like those pathetic Zenin, you'll have to try harder if you want to hit me," Sukuna says with a taunting voice.

Despair washes over you. He was right, if even the Zenin couldn’t win against him, then what could you do? There was no way you could win this nor escape him.

When he carried you bridal style out towards the main room of the ceremony, you’ve stopped struggling. The room was plastered with blood. You recognize some of the body limbs on the ground, the remains of the guests, of your family, of the Zenin family. They were barely remains, mostly just little pieces. You had the urge of throwing up. No one was coming to save you.

It was just you and Sukuna.

Sukuna laughs, he can hear the whiplash of the puddles of blood as he steps over them. He was proud of his work, "Just like usual, only you and me. I'm your only audience."

The blood that covered him stains onto your previously white kimono.

Sukuna always compared you to an angel. And he was a curse—a monster. You two were not meant to be, fate was cruel like that. But Sukuna can be even crueler.

You are his bride.

And it was a red wedding.

[glowingbadger]

Hi! Could you do SFW and NSFW relationship headcanons for Raphael and Hubert, please?

(P.S. I swear I sent this in a few weeks ago but you must not have gotten it. I am mortified at the chance I accidentally sent it to another blog!)

Your timing is incredible- your request was literally the next one on my list haha :3 So no worries, it got to the right place! I'm just still catching up a bit lol. Let's talk Raph and Hubie!

Raphael, Hubert x GN Reader

SFW (nsfw below the cut)

Raphael:

- Raphael is such an absolute sweetie as a boyfriend. He's very nurturing and just a healthy level of protective, but he also knows that he's not perfect and is willing to listen to you when you need something different from him, or just to vent. He's also endlessly uplifting, always instinctively looking on the bright side of things and eager to open up that sunny perspective to share with you.

- As we all know, the way to Raph's heart is through his stomach. If you're even a little skilled in the kitchen, you've got an easy in to spending time with him whenever you like. If you're not much of a cook, he's happy to be a taste-tester until you've got it figured out. Though it's not like his palette is incredibly refined, so you might not get the most nuanced feedback.

- It is essential that you meet his little sister's approval- it's practically like courting a single father. Her happiness is his utmost priority, so one day when she mentions off hand that she can't wait for you all to spend time together again, he practically starts tearing up and warmth fills his chest. Knowing that you get along with the other most important person in his life just reaffirms his affections for you a thousand fold.

- His idea of a date pretty much always involves food, and with his energetic and warm personality, those kinds of dates are easy to enjoy. If you suggest other ideas though, while he might not be sure it's his "thing" at first, he'll quickly find something to get excited about and invested in. Besides, when he's with you, he has a hard time caring about anything but watching you just be your wonderful self, all with a wide, goofy smile on his face.

Hubert:

- Hubert quietly dotes on you. His love language is absolutely acts of service. This is largely because he finds it so hard to believe- practically disorienting- that you'd want to be with him of all people. As such, he does everything in his power to ensure that you're provided for. You may not even realize the lengths he's willing to go to for some time, as he has a habit of doing helpful or sweet things for you without your knowledge. Maybe it takes a vaguely threatening "chat" with some disrespectful knave who's been trying to get your attention, or perhaps there's a tear in your favorite shirt that he has sent to be repaired without ever mentioning it. Hubert doesn't seek praise- only your happiness.

- that said... He does absolutely melt when you do praise or compliment him. He does his best to appear stoic, but his face turns bright red when you tell him how lucky you are to be with someone so considerate and conscientious. Funnily, when he's riding high on his adoration for you (whatever you would call Hubert's version of feeling warm and fuzzy), not much changes other than that he's less conversational, appearing exceptionally introspective. The truth is just that he can't stop thinking of you and this bizarre feeling you've nurtured in him.

- he will NEVER admit this and will strike fear into the soul of any who would suggest it- but when others give him romantic advice, he does take note. When Edelgard suggests he have flowers sent to you for no particular reason, or Ferdinand recommends he take you riding through the countryside on a particularly lovely day, he does consider them and possibly even follow through.

- listen. The first time Hubert returns to his quarters from a late night "mission" to see you waiting up for him, struggling to stay awake to greet him and make sure he's okay, he's just... A puddle. He holds you so close and so tight, resting his face in your hair without a word. He's simply so overwhelmed that he should ever be so fortunate as to be welcomed home by someone he loves.

NSFW 18+ v

Raphael:

- Raph is a Big Boy and a Strong Boy, and those two facts are never more relevant than when things start getting heated. He's had one or two prior sexual partners (people from his hometown who came onto him- he enjoyed it well enough, but he's WAY more into it after falling for you), so he generally knows what he's doing, but likes a bit of guidance. He worries a lot about hurting you, but also enjoys showing off his strength and stamina for you- so letting you set the pace tends to work best overall.

- He openly loves it when you compliment his muscles and physique, reminding him of just how big and strong he is compared to you and how easily he lifts and positions you. Hearing it from your lips energizes him and makes him more determined than ever to pleasure you and take care of any and all of your needs. He's a bit clumsy about some of the finer operations involved- but honestly, sometimes it's hot enough just to feel his large and powerful fingers spreading you open. It's hard to lament his lack of dexterity when he can so easily fill you and reach your every sensitive spot at once.

- He's really not much one for power-play, or any kind of spicy roleplay. He simply doesn't see the point. Raphael would always rather just tell you openly how amazing and gorgeous you are as you ride his big, thick cock. You're so small even when you're above him, and he can't help wanting to hold you as your stretched out little hole takes him again and again.

- Raphael can resist cumming for a long time for the privilege of getting to fuck as many orgasms out of you as possible. He's got some impressive stamina. He'll lift and reposition you several times, then very carefully ease his huge member back into you, giving you plenty of time to acclimate to him filling you up from a new angle. There's no question that you'll be satisfied by the time he finally cums- but once he's done, he's done. Raphael cums hard, and a good volume, and once he's ridden out his climax, all he wants is to cuddle you on his broad chest and maybe share a snack, then drift off for a nap together.

Hubert:

- I've talked about some general spicy ideas for Hubie before in the past, so definitely check my masterlist for those (I love this miserable bastard so fucking much-). Overall, I see him as a classic, domineering Dom in the bedroom. Hubert needs a certain level of control over everything in his life to feel even a little at-ease, and intimacy is no exception. It won't take long into a relationship with him for it to become clear that he's happiest and most satisfied when you're a good, docile little pet for him.

- It's not extremely obvious at first, but Hubert's body is very sensitive and very touch-shy, simply due to lack of exposure. He's had a few sexual partners, though largely for pragmatic, political purposes, so the experience of being with you and wanting so badly to be truly intimate with you is completely new to him. Add this to the fact that, at his core, he still believes you deserve so much better than he could ever give you in all things, and you've got yourself a complex over-thinker in your bed. This is part of why dominating you is so soothing to him. When you're his personal needy kitten, he can direct you as he pleases, catering your treatment to his comfort level.

- Hubert gets very invested in the finer details of your submission. He takes great care to select a collar custom made for you, and will manage everything from your posture to your line of sight to when you're allowed to cum. He does not suffer brats; misbehaving will result in literal hours of punishment, and you're lucky if it only amounts to spanking. He's much more likely to tie you, or even magically restrain you on his bed completely exposed (or in a shamefully erotic outfit) and tease your clit/head of your cock until tears wet your eyes and you beg him to be allowed to cum.

- That all said, if you're a very, very good pet for him- or if you're someone a bit more shy or anxious in bed, he is capable of being a very soft and caring Dom. This even surprises him, but he can't help brushing a gloved hand to your cheek as you take his cock into your pretty lips, and he murmurs, "That's right, my dearest, just like that. You're doing wonderfully- just a little longer for me and I swear that I'll satisfy you."

[geekgirles]

Hi, so this may be very personal and I’ll understand if you don’t wanna answer this. But recently I have figured out I’m aroace, but.. I have questions like... am I “worthy” enough? Can I rlly identify as those? I like a boy and like how we’re kinda dating rn, but I don’t LOVE love him- am I still an aro? I don’t rlly despise sex and I actually like to read it- am I still an ace?

I’m a cis straight woman (which is why the “worthy” enough) and idk how it works and I’m so sorry for sending you this but you’re one of the few I’ve ever seen to speak abt aroace and I feel very insecure and high anxiety abt this. Again, I know it’s kinda unfair to you to just ask these, so I totally understand if you dont answer this. Thank you though!

Hope you’re having a nice day/ night! ☺️

Hi there!

First of all, don't worry. I think it's actually more personal to you than it is for me. So I don't mind at all.

You should know that I perfectly understand how you're feeling. I, too, sometimes wonder if I'm worthy enough of being ace. As a matter of fact, that's something I've wanted to talk about for a long time but never really had the chance. Thank you for providing it.

I personally associate my own feelings of unworthiness to the stigma (?) surrounding phases. Like, "what if I'm really just going through a phase? Isn't that disrespectful of true asexuals or other LGBTQIA+?"

That's how I've been feeling for a while.

I always say I've been identifying as asexual since I was 14, because it's true! But my lack of experience in romantic or sexual relationships makes me wonder if I truly am ace or if I'm just lacking enough facts to form a proper opinion.

I mean, I might not really react to "hot" people (I mostly just have the aesthetic appreciation), but I don't even know my romantic orientation. I've never even had a crush in my live, and the sole idea scares the shit outta me, but deep down I would like to experience a relationship. Because of that I don't really identify as aro; I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, you know? Not like calling myself asexual feels right for me.

That being said, despite my doubts, I also understand that things aren't black or white. Life is an unpredictable, never-ending journey of selfdiscovery. It's full of nuance and contradictions. And that's not necessarily bad!

If you want my honest opinion, I do believe you're both ace and aro.

Inside each sexual orientation there's a whole world of possibilities!!

For example, you say you like a boy and you're sort of dating him, right? Well, that's perfectly possible. I don't think I can find it right now, but there's this comic detailing different aspects of being aro, and one of these experiences say, "I really like you platonically. Can we date?"

It seems to me that's what you're going through.

Just because you're aro, it doesn't mean you can't date! Hell, there's this thing you might know about called "queerplatonic partners."

Basically, that's what happens when friends decide to do things that you'd normally expect from couples (especially MARRIED ones) together. Such as living together or having kids. But you are still just friends.

Also, you can be cishet and still be queer, you know that, right? I mean, nothing is set in stone! There's lots of people who, for example, identify as asexual lesbians/gays, etc. There's more than one way of doing things, if you know what I mean.

Now, you said you like reading about sex?

Sugar, so do I. And, again, proud asexual since I was 14 here!

FYI, I like reading about sex, but I hate watching sex scenes. No matter the gender of the characters, I just can't. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. And actually listening to moaning?!? Dude, just kill me now.

That's a good part of the reason why I prefer watching cartoons or comedies over live-action and dramas. As a hopeless romantic (see? Another contradiction), I get my much needed dose of heartwarming interactions without having to watch people intertwining limbs and panting.

Also...reading allows me to...control the intensity, so to speak. As in, I decide what I want to picture in my brain. Sex on TV forces me to watch exactly what the directors want me to. And, no thanks.

Oh, and just so you know, being asexual doesn't necessarily mean you despise sex. True, there are asexuals who are sex-repulsed, but many others are okay with sex, it's just...not a top priority, you know? And both ways of being are perfectly valid.

Now, tell me. After everything I've said, do you think I'm unworthy of calling myself an asexual? Because I personally don't think you're unworthy of calling yourself aroace.

Your life, your identity, is a journey only you can find the answers to. Experiences aren't universal, and there isn't one more valid than the rest. You do you.

[holdinbacksecrets]

october 

jimn x reader / established relationship / for my fellow october enthusiasts

you could sit in front of the window all day, preferably with it open, so the air’s aroma can fill up your senses. magic is to blame for the sudden way autumn consumes summer. there’s no other explanation for the changes in the morning. the shifting, nuanced colors of the sky. golden leaves falling to land on paved streets. 

every morning in autumn you can be found in the same place. always admiring and trying to get closer to the season you miss when the months of autumn end. today, you’re back in the spot again, dressed in a thick sweater and cotton pants. the patio is perfect for the slight breeze. it cools your tea quite excellently. clouds swirl into the sunrise colors. you could spend your whole life like this. 

the door opens again within the hour. you reach out your hand without looking over because it’s only ever him. if you ever got lost—people didn’t know where you were—you told him to always go up: to find the nearest balcony or rooftop. 

at the beginning of your shared days of loving, he asked why you do it. why you love these little spaces. they allow a special kind of grounded, becoming closer to nature and its serenity. hovering in an in between of the human existence and eternity. eternity we’ll never know is suddenly so consuming on a patio. 

you filled in his missing spaces with those same words. it’s the closeness to something more that does it for you. couch cushions beneath a ceiling become suffocating. creamy walls are empty, story-less, but there’s endless imagination to create and see when you have a different view. 

so, you go outside, and every time you fall all in love again. you told him back then to join you sometimes. now he does, and he used to talk too, but now he’s gotten used to bringing tea or coffee and a couple pastries, staying quiet and observant of you. he waits for you to wrap yourself up in his being, to feel his warmth radiating for a place somewhere deep, sounding like heart or soul. 

“i love the way you love october.” 

his lips brush your forehead as you smile softly. “i wish i created october. not because i want the credit of its perfection but because it did a better job of finding me than i have.” 

jimin’s thumb brushes your hand before tracing the veins webbed beneath your skin. it’s deeply tan and tattooed. he saw your tattoos first—before the love struck—and then your eyes, and then your smile. he used to say your name to himself over and over again. 

“does october know you better than i do?” his tone is light, but still laced with curiosity. you still hold mystery. 

“don’t worry, darling. you don’t need to be jealous of october. it just sees me, or maybe i see it… but you… you saw me and chose me. i don’t know if october cares as much as you do.” 

you brush the hair away from his forehead because his eyes are covered, and he knows how you feel about missing any gaze of his. “should i get my little butterfly clips for you?” 

your smile is so bright after the words, and your boyfriend laughs genuinely. the image of him wearing tiny, purple and sparkly butterfly clips is too good to forget. it’s become your screensaver these days, beating october. 

“when i kiss you, you won’t be able to push your fingers through my hair like i’m used to, like i love. i appreciate their help, but…” 

“but…” your fingers meet his hair, running through it before bringing your lips to his in a gentle, warm kiss. a good morning kiss. a don’t worry, i love you more than october kiss. but just in case you aren’t sure, feel me. feel me close like autumn rain. feel me close like campfire staining clothes. feel me close like halloween horror in widened eye. feel me close like perfect skies and purple sunsets. feel me, instead of those little butterfly clips. i am yours. thank you for seeing me like i see october. 

[writing-with-olive]

A few tips for coming up with content for your story

So. You’ve got a story. You’ve been hard at work writing it/planning it, when suddenly, you hit a block. You don’t know what to add next in your story. 

Now what?

Don’t worry - I am here to help give you some ways to come up with that juicy new content.

1) Think through your story when you’re relaxed.

There’s a reason we get all of our best ideas when we’re driving home from work/school, or just about to fall asleep, or in a shower. It’s because, usually, we’re pretty relaxed. When that happens, your brain decides it’s got permission to explore, since it’s not actively trying to keep you from getting eaten by tigers or whatever analogy people use to talk about modern-day stress responses.

Pretty much, find a way to relax. Then think through aspects of your story surrounding the content gap. What might need to happen in order to bridge that gap? The best part about this method is that it’s surprisingly effective - so long as you’re actively thinking about your story - and you also get to practice some self care at the same time. So for all you folks who feel guilty about taking care of yourself (please, please take care of yourself), here’s your workaround.

(This is a sort of medium-long post, so i’ve put the rest of the tips below the cut)

2) Reference a beat sheet or other plot structure

I will admit, this one’s been a little hit-or-miss for me, but some of my friends find it effective. Scan through the beat sheet and see where aspects of it line up with your story. If there’s any beats you feel are missing/underrepresented, focus on the content in that part of your story. What plot threads could you expand on to better include those beats?

3) Think about what’s been left out

Are there any aspects of the story that you initially wanted to include that just haven’t really made it onto the page? If the answer is yes, think about whether or not there are ways to incorporate those elements into your story. What might you need to add in order to make that work?

4) Brainstorm with the goal-reaction cycle

This is the idea that all scenes lead to the next scene. The way it works is you’ve got a goal scene - this is where a character is out to get something. They’ve got a scene-specific goal they’re trying to achieve. Within this scene, there is a conflict, or something standing in their way. Then, as they try to overcome this conflict, something bad happens - either as an forseen or unforseen consequence of their actions, or the consequence of someone else’s actions within the scene.

Then you move onto a reaction scene. The first thing that happens is their emotional response. This is what they do without really thinking through their actions. This segues into them going through their choices. At a minimum, their choices are to do something or do nothing, though in many circumstances, things are more nuanced. Time skips usually occur in/around reaction scenes. By the end of the scene, they’ve got a descision about their course of action. This descision becomes the goal of the next scene. 

With this in mind, you can take a scene and think about where it might lead using the goal-reaction cycle, until you get to the next known point in your plot. 

When I’m writing this out, I usually create a template that I can copy/paste as many times as I need that looks like:

Scene # - Scene description (usually 1-4 words)

Goal: describe goal

Conflict: describe what’s in the way

Disaster: describe what bad thing happens

--

Scene # - Scene description (usually 1-4 words)

Reaction: describe prominent emotions/what that manifests as

Choices: [describe choice A] or [describe choice B]

Decision: name choice that’s been decided on, possibly a bit about reasoning.

5) Talk through your story with someone

Other people don’t know the story as well as you do. Which means they’re coming to the concept of it fresh - resulting in them asking questions you may have never really considered. Sometimes, these questions can help you stumble upon a new solution that hadn’t even occured to you.

[boredliondisorder]

Example Conversation

Adding to that post from earlier, here’s a good way to help a person who is having abandonment delusions.

Please note: During a crisis is NOT the time to set boundaries. This would be like reminding a person who is bleeding out that they have to file their taxes on time. They’re not going to care.

The object is NOT TO ARGUE. Remember, the person is having a delusion and they are likely panicking. This is the time to de-escalate and settle. They’re saying this because they’re hurting, and there’s a right time for reassurance, but it’s not at the beginning of this conversation. So I’m going to provide a bad example of de-escalating and then a good one.

---

Bad:

Person with BPD: You’re going to leave me. You: No I’m not. You can trust me. I’m here for you. BPD: So many people have said that. Why are you different? You: I just don’t leave my friends. BPD: You’re lying. I’ve heard this before...

(This puts you in an argumentative and defensive position and forces you to prove yourself. This will likely lead to the person with BPD drawing closer to rage because of the desire to obtain concrete proof that you’re there for the long-term. However, every time this happens, the person with BPD will push you farther. This isn’t manipulation. What they’re trying to do is create the absolute worst-case scenario they can because they need validation that they are worth being friends with at their worst. Feeding into this delusion will cause things to escalate. NEVER tell a person you will “never leave them.”)

---

Good:

Person with BPD: You’re going to leave me. You: Oh? Why do you think that? BPD: Because everyone leaves. You: I understand your fear. It must be very traumatizing for someone you’ve built up a friendship with to leave. Is there something I’ve done that makes you think I’m going to leave?

(This forces the person with BPD to examine their delusion and pinpoint a reason. This is the beginning of de-escalation.)

BPD: *gives an example* You: Ah, I see. I actually didn’t mean ______ that way. Would you like to talk about it more? 

(Honestly, this was probably the person’s goal. They wanted to talk about it but they wanted to see if YOU would bring it up. The problem with this is... most people don’t know they’ve done anything wrong. Sometimes the person with BPD will stubbornly not give an example, though, so the conversation might go like this:)

You: Is there something I’ve done that makes you think I’m going to leave? BPD: You should know. You: Sometimes I’m not great with nuance and I might miss some of your triggers. I do value your friendship. Can you please help me understand?

(If you can’t get them to tell you, it’s okay to say “I know you’re hurting right now and I want to help you, but I can’t unless you give me more information. I’m going to step away for a while and I think you should do the same. How about if we talk again in an hour/tomorrow/etc.” Just be aware that this may cause a rage. This is NOT your fault. But the person you were talking to was not in a position to be helped. What’s important is that after you say that you’re stepping away, you actually do it. Close the screen and leave. But keep your promise to return. Don’t ghost this person if you really want to help them.)

---

Anyway, that might give you the gist of how a conversation should go. Once you seem to have de-escalated, you can tell the person that they can bring this stuff up with you without worrying about you leaving them over it, and that you’d prefer to talk about feelings candidly. After a couple days, and then the person with BPD is more stable, you should try to broach the subject about setting boundaries. I will discuss that in another post.

[vampirepunks]

any idea on where to start on leaving jws? do i just save up money and leave?

I've got a few pointers. First, I'm gonna preface this by saying that it's a different situation for everyone. Things like age, employment status, who you live with, personal relationships, etc. all come into play when planning to leave. If you're living with JW family, parents or otherwise, it can be especially tough. If you're under 18, then it gets even harder, because you have to worry about the legality of moving out, signing a lease, and so forth. It's hard for me to give advice without knowing any specifics.

Personally, I left at 17 years old. My parents allowed me to move out without too much of a fuss, since several months before that, I had come out of the closet months and made it known that I no longer wanted to be a JW. I moved in with my boyfriend at the time and he's now my husband. Here's what I learned:

1. Your three most important concerns are reliable transportation, secure housing, and stable income.

So, if you're living with JW family and want to become independent, yes, you'll need to save money for housing and (potentially) transportation. Planning these things takes time, energy, and building a basic knowledge of what to expect. For example, you'll want to learn about local rental rates, job openings, and what kind of transportation options your area has. College is always a great option, too, especially if you're eligible for financial aid and apply for scholarships. Colleges can help a lot if you utilize the resources available to students, such as housing options, work-study, and paid internships.

2. Build a support system.

This applies to everyone leaving the JWs. For almost all ex-JWs, leaving means losing most, if not all, of your family and friends. Breaking free is hard and you shouldn't do it alone. Make friends and build relationships with dependable people that you can trust. You'll need them when things get tough. Plus, that opens up the possibility of sharing housing costs and/or transportation with roommates. This brings me to my next point.

3. Don't leap without looking.

Before you move out or make any major lifestyle change, be certain. Get all of the facts, assess your resources and life skills, and make contingency plans. For example, don't move in with anyone unless you're 100% certain they're trustworthy, honest, and dependable.

4. Decide how you want to leave.

There are many ways to leave the JWs. It's a personal choice, and the process depends on whether or not you're baptized. I left via disfellowshipping, but that's because my parents knew everything and thus forced me to meet with a judicial committee. You can also disassociate yourself, typically by writing a letter addressed to the elders at your local kingdom hall, stating that you no longer wish to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Both of these options do mean you'll be immediately shunned by family and friends, without a doubt. Another option is "fading." With this, you simply stop attending meetings, going out in field ministry (though that doesn't apply as much during the pandemic), and spending time with other JWs. The drawback here is, the local elders will typically label you inactive and take steps to try and pull you back in. They'll call, or write letters and send literature, or attempt to visit. It can be tough to dodge these attempts unless they have no way of finding your number and new address. (My aunt actually faded by leaving the country altogether, haha.) If you choose to fade or are not baptized in the first place, there is the advantage that as far as the JWs are concerned, the issue is more nuanced. This means you may at times get to talk to your JW family, who would likely shun you outright with disfellowshipping or disassociation. To them, you'll simply be a "bad association." It all depends on how strong your relationships to them are.

5. Once you're out, adjust to the culture shock.

This especially applies if you were raised JW. Stepping out into the world is one hell of a mixed bag, lemme tell you. It's beautiful, scary, joyous, and intimidating. As soon as you're out, the world seems a whole lot bigger. Suddenly, it feels like you can do whatever you want. And like everyone else is doing whatever they want. For me, it felt like crash landing on an alien planet; like I was this strange outsider who spoke a different language. Nothing can quite prepare you for this. Just take your time relearning how the world works, be patient with yourself and others, and enjoy life as it comes. And don't hesitate to reach out to other ex-JWs! All of our stories are different, but ultimately, we're all survivors of the same war. Sometimes, you'll just need someone who understands where you've been and what you've lost.

Leaving the JWs is a long, tough process, even after you're out, but trust me when I say you won't regret it. I wish you the sincerest of luck. I hope this helps.

And hey, don't be afraid to message me or drop another ask if you have more questions/need to talk!

[tenthgrove]

La Squadra HCs for if they get a team member with an art-based stand? (Thinking like how Kakyoin was able to harm Jotaro with his painting in part 3? I've always thought that could be an interesting stand in full!)

Lethal Creativity

La Squadra x Reader (GN), Platonic/Romantic (Interpretable), SFW

Context: For the sake of clarity, the reader's stand ability is defined as the power to manifest events such as physical harm/healing, the creation of new objects in a person's possession, and other occurances within limits, through visual illustration of these happening. It is limited by the inability to manipulate free will or create new animate beings, as well as the considerable level of detail in the illustrations required for the power to work, making the stand time-consuming to use.

Formaggio- For a stand as simple as 'make things go small', Formaggio sure does put a lot of creativity into using his powers. From crushing a person underneath a car expanded from inside them, to seeking the aid of usually harmless animals to take a minitiarised target out, Formaggio knows how to take a innocuous power and turn it into something flexible and deadly. For this reason, he can see immediately the potential of your stand, and is often the first to suggest the end goal of your plans when you are just starting out with a new drawing. Though he isn't always right you have to admire his thinking. A lot of people tend to take Formaggio for an idiot, which to be fair off the job he sometimes is, but there's a real quick streak to Formaggio when he needs it, which few other than you get to see.

Illuso- You quickly find yourself paired with Illuso on your more high-risk missions, due to the retreat offered by his mirror world. Watching from the safety of Illuso's dimension lets you work on orchestrating a target's doom without the distraction of having to worry about being caught. Unfortunately however, Illuso rarely lets you focus in peace as you shelter in the mirror world, pestering you frequently for more information on what you're doing and asking about your drawing techniques, without really listening to your response. Truth is, it feels weird for him to have someone other than a victim around in his world, and he feels compelled to talk to them as a result. He is enthralled as you draw out how it is your target will perish, the feeling of a predator on the hunt he too can relate to well, through all his years of watching victims through the mirror.

Prosciutto- The more the two of you brain-storm, the more applications you can think of for your stand as support for Prosciutto's missions. The Grateful Dead's two main flaws are slowness and imprecision, and your stand is perfect for creating small, quick-to-draw implements to deal with unexpected problems when his deadly power is at work. For instance, it only takes you half a minute to draw up a bag of ice to save someone from becoming collatoral damage you absolutely must avoid, and it doesn't take much longer to create a simple trap for if the target calls in backup during the slow process of dying through Grateful Dead's powers. You soon make an excellent team, well-versed in each other's needs and communications. It's only natural the two of you would become friends.

Pesci- Prosciutto encourages his apprentice to spend time with you on missions, since the operation of your stand often shows simplified, easy to pick up on, techniques of assassination Pesci can hopefully pick up on himself. Pesci is in awe as your plans slowly come in to fruition culminating in a spectacular demise for your target. He can tell you must be an incredibly intelligent person to come up with the sort of things you do, and frequently mentions wishing he could have ideas as good of yours. He never knows where to even begin with a mission unless someone else tells him! You are confused by this however, as every time you see Pesci in action you only see a skilled, competant assassin. Really, you think he just has issues with his confidence. You only hope you can help him see that.

Melone- His immediate affinity to you is strong because there are many similarities between your stands in terms of practical implications of their powers. Both favour remote operation and lengthy planning, but reward their users' patience with incredible scope and damage potential. You find your routines for missions parallel heavily, and Melone has a lot to teach you about staying safe during the long period of preparation for using your stands. Often you will find yourselves sitting together, Melone educating a young junior as you prepare an illustration of the tools it will use to aid it against the target. Your bond is strong, and you develop a lot of affection together through your joint work.

Ghiaccio- White Album is a stand at its strongest when it's user is capable of quick thinking, immediate response and personal, direct forms of battle. It is hence the antithesis of your own stand, which stresses planned creativity in a calm setting. There isn't much you could do to help Ghiaccio during his missions, since his fights tend to move too quickly for you to possibly draw from scratch as they evolve, so in terms of work your bond with Ghiaccio will be slow. At home however, Ghiaccio is drawn to the peaceful nature of your ability, particularly as you calmly illustrate the patching of his wounds as he lies on the sofa after a difficult mission. Though he can't do it himself, he finds drawing satisfying, and has a lot of admiration for your power.

Risotto- Your creativity in the field is certainly something Risotto can relate to, due to both his own morbid creativity that allows him to fully utilise Metallica, and the fact he's still responsible for at least some of the planning in a majority of La Squadra's missions. He appreciates an ally that can understand the need for nuance and caution when pursuing a target, especially when some of the boys just go out into the field with nothing on their minds but sadism. The two of you have many pleasant nights together discussing the strategy of your upcoming missions in the privacy of his office. Though he has little in the way of art skills himself, Risotto is surprisingly cultured, and will often pick up on styleistic and symbolic references in your drawings you didn't expect anyone to notice.

Sorbet and Gelato- La Squadra's greatest sadists are no strangers to bringing creativity to the art of murder, so learning of your ability fills them with a wicked glee. They frequently give constructive criticism on your draft pieces for a target's elimination, offering improvements that are sometimes practical, and sometimes simply there to make the final product more entertaining for them. They love it when the ideas you built together come to fruition, and will often insist on being there for the show even if you would have otherwise not chosen to be present for when the targt kicks it. There is a high likelyhood that, particularly if you are a newcomer to the trade, you will end up the apprentice of the lethal couple. Their advice may be unconventional, but has you achieving your goals every time without fail.

[samdotdocx]

A very long-winded essay about why I love Night in the Woods and The Ramayana makes me Big Mad ft. Lets Talk About Mental Illness™

So I was in this class called 'The Ecology of Language". Excellent class, 10/10 would recommend - and especially relevant in the Indian context in particular, but that's a topic for another day.

One of the things we talked about was the concept of 'relatibality' in media, which, I'm sure we can all agree is a large component of contemporary character or story-line development. Considering the context of modern readers, what that sometimes ends up looking like (in our society that is built on constantly being told we are lacking, and the subsequent need to satisfy manufactured desires), is some wonderfully nuanced characters in stories stories that are three-dimensional, well rounded, and well developed and written. It's pretty great. And sometimes, what that means is that we have excellent characters that don't conform to the standard 'protagonist' stereotype. They might not even be 'good' (this is NOT a villain-apologist post). In fact, they might be complete idiots. They might be the people in stories who make all the wrong choices.

One such relatable character is Mae, and it's because she's an unmitigated train-wreck.

Anyone who knows the game probably knows what I'm talking about when I say the illustration style and character designs are gorgeous. Anyone who's ever dissociated probably knows what I'm talking about when I say that illustration style and character design were excellently used to create the sort of subliminal, surreal state of Mae's mind. And as you play the game, you see how that state of mind plays with the other characters, and - spoiler - it isn't great.

This is the first of the relatable aspects of Mae’s character; there are people around her who love her and are worried about her, but at the same time, are angry and irritated about her behaviour. At what point does it become too much to ask of those around you to forgive all your continuous and repetitive mistakes? Even if you have a good reason for it, mental illness is not an excuse for being exploitative, even if it is unintentional. Mae is not trying to hurt the people around her, but she constantly needs emotional labour from them – it’s exhausting, and people’s patience is going to run out eventually, as is their right.

Another aspect of this behaviour is the lack of reciprocity, an example of this being when Bea’s mother died of cancer – and Mae didn’t even notice.

There are several instances of Mae’s thoughtless behaviour throughout the game; she gets completely wasted and makes a scene at the party, gets jealous of of Greg and Angus because they’re leaving the town without her, and ends up destroying the radiator Bea was supposed to fix, getting her in trouble.

The thing is though, that Mae is given the opportunity to fix her mistakes.

A large part of relatability is the want so see yourself in a character. Mae is relatable to me because there are several circumstances and events in our lives that match up, but more than that; the game is an interactive visualization of her healing process. Her nine steps, if you will. She is given a second chance – and that chance is hard won, particularly in the context of the game.

Mae talks about feeling like she’s falling behind, of knowing that she is, in a way, wasting an opportunity that was a privilege in the first place, especially considering her family’s financial situation – but at the same time, being literally unable to help herself. And the aspects of the gameplay that hint at the supernatural elements of the story possibly being a figment of Mae’s imagination – well. All us depressed losers know what it's like to not be able to trust your own judgement and point of view. She talks about why she dropped out of college, and her description of the dissociation, and the mental and emotional deadening that it causes is spot on and so well represented.

It underscores the point that the logical brain knows that mental illness is an illness like any other – but the emotional brain doesn’t care.

The game does a brilliant job of laying bare the realities of middle class life, and makes painfully clear the fact that, at that level, it doesn’t matter how difficult things are for you. The world isn’t going to wait for you to get back on your feet.

Mae’s mental state and the limitations it imposes on her cultivates a state of extreme frustration. Again, relatable. It’s an understated aspect of illness of any kind; the anger at yourself, and how that anger carries over into a lot of things in your day to day life. After a point, it becomes a habit. Mae does this too; she's belligerent, and instigative, and unrepentant of consequences, because anger blinds you.

It's not how things will always be. I have the privilege of hindsight, so I can say that with authority. But, this isn’t the kind of thing that ever fully leaves you, either. If you break a kneecap, it’s going to bother you for the rest of your life, and similarly, mental illness has a ‘no return, no refund’ policy. So you grow up, and you try to adapt those habits and impulses into a more positive context. Recycling, right? Maybe you set your sights on things that actually deserve your anger, and you go from there. You find people who, for their own reasons, perhaps or perhaps not related to your own, are angry.

And you don’t understand the people who are not.

A large part of the anger and frustration surrounding mental illness is due to the stigma surrounding it. It’s frustrating to be so powerless and dependent, but this is exacerbated by the attitude of ‘it can’t be that bad’, which makes it so difficult to reach out, to be able to say, ‘I need a break’ – and actually get one. This is an attitude that carries over to a lot of other issues as well, and the worst part is – we are surrounded by people who are okay with it, who believe in and support that mentality.

The myth of Sita, for example. She is a strong female figure in Indian mythology, who overcomes her circumstances to live a ‘good’ life, and for all intents and purposes, is a hell of a role model.

But that’s the thing; her life wasn’t good, was it? She was supposed be a goddess reincarnated, she should have been powerful, and respected, but instead she is reduced to ‘wife’ – and everyone today is fine with it.

I respect her immensely for the choices she made; marrying for love was her choice, going into exile with her husband was her choice. She was the paragon of virtue, of 'wifeliness', of kindness – she chose her husband over everyone and everything else, including herself, as was expected of her. But yet – she couldn't win his trust or respect. It should not even have needed to be won.

It’s commendable the way she takes it all in stride, but why did she? She was kidnapped and held captive for years, entirely against her will, and her husband's response to that is to force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ – and she does it. And she stays with him after, and I cannot understand the depths of her patience and forgiveness, because I would have been livid, and I want her to be so too. I’m furious for her, because Ram was not just her husband, he was also the king, and his later verdict to exile her, alone, while heavily pregnant, his readiness to condemn her based on speculation and public sentiment, was not just a verdict against her, it was against every woman in his kingdom who had ever been victimised.

Sita became a martyr to the modern feminist movement – if she could not be angry on her own behalf, we will do it for her. But at the same time, she is still relatable, because we are held to a slightly lesser degree of the same expectations. There are always going to be aspects of things that you relate to. ‘Big Mood’ culture is a strong indicator of the human ability to empathise, especially with characters that you like, or respect.

Sita’s world, I imagine, was run by the expectations her society and community had of her, and maybe she didn’t even have the liberty to be angry. Who is responsible for portraying her in passive acceptance of her fate? Is that representation reliable? Would the story have been different had it been written by a woman?

I can't remember a time when I was not angry, especially about things like this. I am always ready to fight, and I think the same goes for so many other people today, sometimes to our detriment. I cannot imagine a world where that was not at the very least an option. Not necessarily the best option, - but Sita’s world was very different to ours. Even with centuries between us, we’ve just gotten over angry and depressed women being labelled as ‘hysterical’ and subsequently being locked away. What is it like, to have to be calm and careful in response to being treated like this? This care in response may not be an overt requirement anymore – though the fact remains that society will not take you seriously if you become hysterical - but shouldn't you, at the very least, be able to rely on the support of other people in the same boat?

That is the main difference in these stories, and another main point of relatability to me; Mae, like myself, had a support system. Sita did not. Mae was selfish and demanding in so many ways, and required a lot of time and patience and healing before she was able to give back, but she got there eventually because she was able to put herself first. She fought for herself, and when she couldn’t, she had other people to fight for her. Night in the Woods represents the intersection of oppressed minorities and community with their portrayal of Mae, Greg, and Angus in particular, and the importance of community support – and, the difference between geographical community, and communities formed through camaraderie and actual unity. And so does the Ramayana - except, where was Sita’s community? Where were her sisters, or her parents, when she was abandoned in the woods, and later when she committed suicide? We are well aware, in the modern day, of the state of mind that causes people to kill themselves, and yet that is a part of the story that we never talk about. Where were her people then?

What would have happened if she had been more like Mae, and put herself first instead of bleeding herself dry for people who never respected her, and would never do the same for her?

People relate to personalities. They relate to choices, and circumstances, and habits, and it is neither a good nor a bad thing, to be relatable or not. Sita will be highly relatable to people who, like her, were governed by their circumstances, and were screwed over despite their best efforts. People who felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t exercise their power and agency. Sita’s death was at odds with her strong personality, and so was her deference to her fate on many occasions, but there are a lot of people out there who will relate to the feeling of simply wanting things to be over. Mae on the other hand; she’s a steamroller, and she doesn’t stop. There’s a reason her character is a cat, and jokingly referred to as feral in the game. She is persistent, she is growing.

[1] In Defence of Kaikeyi and Draupadi: a Note – by Fritz Blackwellhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/23334398?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents [2] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

[clouds-rambles]

can I request headcanons of being Beidou’s viciously loyal and protective first mate with an anemo vision and sword she’s dating? They look out for each other’s backs.

Oho of course cute pirate head canons right this second

This is what I’m doing instead of my character designs for my course lmao

Pairings; Beidou x reader

Warning(s); wound mention, sex mentions

Keep reading under the cut!

Being Beidou’s first mate isn’t always swashbuckling and requisition of goods, whenever the captain goes into Liyue Harbour to talk business and drink tea with Ningguang you find yourself about Liyue Harbour looking out at sea for a few hours

Once Beidou comes back you always receive a kiss and a sweet treat to snack on on the track back to the ship

Shagging like animals in the undergrowth is usually where the two of you get to be the loudest with each other, whenever you have sex on the ship it’s usually a big test to see how long you both can stay quiet for

You’re often at the helm in the daytime. There’s a reason why you like sailing so much, the feeling of moist air hitting your cheeks as you sail the seas to whichever destination your girlfriend, the captain, wants to go

The two of you have been dating each other for many years and have been sailing for many more, you’re both so in tune with each other that it’s little scary.

‘Be scared foes of Captain Beidou for her bite is fierce and her first mates is fiercer’ is a nice little saying that hangs among the pirates of the seas. Many who mess with you two find themselves dead or never wanting to mess with either of you again

While Beidou wields the power of electro, you wield the power of anemo and creating swirl reactions is how the both of you create maximum damange. The situation is often far scarier for the opponent because of the lack of words the two of you share while fighting and the grins you don.

If the captain ever finds herself hurt you’ll sit her down in the captains quarters and patch her up, playfully lecturing her about needing to be more careful.

However, if the wound is a particularly gnarly one you’ll cup your hands over her face and tell her how tragic it would be if she died on not just you but all of you 

You don’t get injured as often her Beidou, most likely due to the more lightweight weapon you carry. But when you do Beidou loves having the excuse to patch you up

Sometimes when she’s finished patching you up she’ll rest her head on your thighs just to remind herself that worrying too much about you being injured doesn’t make sense because you’re still alive and kicking. Please run your fingers through her hair

Being first mate often means most of your antis go unpunished on the ship, so running about and pranking the other members of the ship is always great fun. Though is Beidou tells you to reign it in you of course oblige

It isn’t often that the ship gets a handful of new crates of rum but when they do you are quick to claim a few bottles of the best rum for yourself. Even Beidou knows not to touch your rums without your permission.

Beidou doesn’t drink much of the spirit and much prefers to have a crate of wine for her private collection. When you walk into her study it’s  alittle funny to see her expensive dandelion wine next to your expensive rums

The two of you are very open about your relationship on the ship, so there’s no nuance between the two of you and the crew. In the beginning of the relationship the crew was nervous about how the dynamic of the ship would change. But they were happy to realise nothing really changed, just apart from the two of you stealing kisses from each other

While your favourite part of the job is feeling the breeze of the ocean against your cheeks, and your second favourite thing is the swashbuckling, your third favourite has to be giving children across the globe little presents. Especially kids who are below the poverty line. While you can’t do much for them a small bag of gold occasionally falls into their hands and hopefully their family can have a little feast every now and again

Or if you’re unable to afford to buy the family a decent meal, giving the kids a few foreign toys always makes their day. The hugs you receive from them is always the sweetest

Date nights for you and Beidou on the ship is usually just you sat on her lap as you eat your dinner. It probably looks cheesy and cringy but the both of you love it so why complain?

Beidou’s love language is touch and vocal affirmations. So catch Beidou saying ‘I love you’ often and complimenting you even more. As for the touches even the lightest ones convey her love for you. Be it brushing hands with you as she rounds the ship, touching your hips as she walks past you, kissing you on the cheek as you man the helm. It makes you swoon for her a lot

In all honesty you’re both so whipped for each other its cute. The way that you both talk about each other is much like how newly wed couples talk about each other, but this has been going on for the near decade the two of you have been dating

While the two of you have spoken about marriage it isn’t something either of you necessarily want. It’s not like you both don’t love and cherish each other, it’s more about being captain and first mate is just like marriage to you. Being first mate to the captain often means you are held to a higher standard than a married couple. It gets complicated when you think about it too much

Beidou loves watching you do work, when the other helmsman is on the helm Beidou loves watching you wipe the sweat off your brow as you go about your business, tying knots, taking inventory and causing trouble.