#cluster b mood

[aspd-sriracha]

Aspd is so cool and quirky and desirable! I love not being able to hold a job down! I love damaging my support system and then being fucked in the ass when I need help! I love getting evicted! I love not having a responsible bone in my body! Why the fuck am I like this

[flashy-mf]

[familiarplacedisc]

[drifting-bones]

i love when i warn people over and over and over again that i have "ugly" symptoms of my mental disorders and that i won't always be easy to deal with and they assure me it's okay and it can't be that bad and say all these nice things then fuck off and leave when things start to get tough. cute.

[myrddin-wylt]

good morning to these people and these people only: autistic people who constantly put their foot in their mouth, bitches with NPD, undiagnosed freaks who bamboozle the DSM, bipolar or mood disorder girlies and non-girlies in a manic rage, low- or no-empathy weirdos, and psychos (reclaimed). please survive.

[abusedpixie]

[esthete-god]

[cassie-lmao]

my existence is pretty much going back and forth between

🥰✨🌈☀️insanity☀️🌈✨🥰

and

💔⛓🩸🔪insanity🔪🩸⛓💔

[a-healthy-dose-of-apathy]

depending your entire mood on another person is absolutely pathetic and i hate that i’m like this

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

[mothseatinghumanflesh]

[aussie-trans-king]

[unknowinglydeceasedlol]

this is going to come off as obnoxious to the people who won’t understand where im coming from but im sure all the qties with BPD on here will relate at least to some degree 😵‍💫

i hate when i say “i hate myself” and people around me automatically turn to say “well (reason) so you shouldnt” spoiler alert but i know !!!!!!! i know that i shouldn’t but its so hard when you feel NOTHING on a daily basis. best day of your life? the good feelings last a solid 17 minutes. worst day of your life? you’ll feel like jumping off the nearest cliff or jumping in front of a passing car and feeling like you’re in the worst distress youve ever been but one nap later, youre back to feeling that pit inside while not even being able to fully remember what exactly had you so upset.

i hate that and i hate myself for it. does that mean i don’t care about myself? no. i still go grab a jacket when im cold. i still care whether im being put in a harmful situation or not. i still care about myself enough to not be putting myself in harms way 24/7. i just dont have the emotional permanece to love myself when there’s a void actively sucking and draining the emotions from me. its so frustrating when the people around you are like “just love yourself 😍” like girl don’t you think ive tried? i dont say “i hate myself” for pity or sympathy (no shame if you do tho) but as a cry of frustration.

it’s like watching a bridge about to collapse and trying to scream that no one should cross it but being unable to get the message across. i *know* there’s reasons why i shouldn’t hate myself but they just never feel good enough for the void. i hate being told how to feel when ive tried everything to change but i know it’s useless

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster b culture is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (can be perceived however you want it to)

.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD culture is parasocial hatred.

I have never talked to you personally, and we have been cordial in passing but i fucking hate you.

(Not at you, mod. Ur doing the gods’ work by running this blog.)

.

[thefluoritebpd]

One of the worst things about BPD is the addiction to pain. You feel so hollow that when you feel any kind of pain, you want to continue it for no reason other than to at the very least feel something. I was just watching a triggering video and continued to trigger myself further, I started crying, and I still didn't stop. And now that I'm calm, I have no idea what to do with it, and the emptiness that came back, so I want to trigger myself again. Because even with all the mood swings, you're still hollow. That's probably why so many borderlines refer to self-harm as a coping mechanism. Love and pain are probably the strongest emotions I've ever felt, and that's probably why abusive relationships felt right in the past.

But also knowing this feels like people would diminish my pain, to he honest. I know it doesn't, and I still have trauma, I'm hurting, it doesn't matter who triggered me... but still.

-host