#damian's tomfoolery

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

I really don't like any version of "Jason learns one tiny fact about how people reacted to his death and immediately is crushed by how unfair he was being and forgives everyone!!!"

However there is one version of this I would allow due to it being very funny, not a complete waste of his character potential, and close to providing real evidence of something that would let him give Bruce a pass:

Superman realizes who the Red Hood is and why he's gunning for Batman and decides to try to straighten things out before the end of Under the Red Hood. He flies over to him and explains that he was the one stopping Bruce from killing the Joker. This gets understood as Supes being the reason Batman still can't kill him. Then Jason immediately pivots his entire life to becoming a Superman villain.

Bruce gets a phonecall: "Hi Dad, I forgive you, and I'm gonna need that 100 pounds of kryptonite back right fucking now."

[clarisse-doodles]

they're going to see the greatest cinematic masterpiece of 2023

[stoptellinglieslois]

[fakakta-art]

The devil may wear Prada but the demon wears whatever the hell this is

[ahfrickenfrick]

stuff my littlest sibling has said as damian wayne quotes cause they also talk like they walked out of an 18th century book, or it’s the most unhinged thing you’ve ever heard

———

Dick: you are either a sussy baka or a bussy saka

Damian: choose one.

————

Damian: *sees Red Robin getting practically mauled on patrol and jumps in* hi boomer, you need some help?

———

Dick: heckin’ heck, isn’t that right, Damian?

Damian: no it is fucking fuck.

———

Damian: *covering Alfred the cats ears* do not say cursed words around her virgin ears

———

Damian: Tim ACTUALLY did something

———

Damian: *to Jason, sarcasticly* for a twenty year old you are doing real fine

———

Damian: your tomfoolery will not work on me

———

Damian: *watching tim and jason* it is like watching two different species interact

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2 thoughts

you know who i just remembered ALSO has long hair? Vlad. Vlad Masters. Danny's worst enemy and biggest pain in the ass ever since he sent those vulture ghosts after his fucking dAD. Danny having long hair would make Vlad so inSUFFERABLE. Like look!! Proof that you are much better off as MY son. We have matching hair lengths! Come be my son! I will make you a halfa like me and we will become powerful allies together!

Danny almost chops it off out of spite. He ends up not doing it because he likes his hair long, actually, very much so and he's not growing it out again just because you're crazy! He's attempted to take a pair of scissors to Vlad's hair though -- THAT was a fight that got ugly. Danny's go-to threat whenever he sees him after that is that he's going to chop off vlad's hair when he's not looking - just you watch, Masters. He'll do it. HE'LL DO IT.

And if Danny wasn't keeping it a tight secret, he'd turn around and taunt Vlad about being a) a clone and b) a clone of BRUCE WAYNE. he'd say stuff like:

"How's it feel knowing my parents cloned a man richer than you"

"you're just mad that bruce wayne is more my dad than you'll ever be!"

"it could've been you that my parents accidentally cloned instead of Wayne, but instead you fucked off for twenty years instead!"

but also its a constant question Danny asks himself how he and no one else ever figured it out sooner that he was a clone. He doesn't understand how Vlad of all people didn't realize it when he went to college with the man with his parents and was also stinking rich, before remembering that he doubts Vlad remembers anyone who wasn't his parents in college, and has been a rich, recluse loser this entire time.

its a good thing though, danny's pretty sure vlad would attempt a hit on the man if he found out out of pure jealousy and indignant rage. And then he'd get his ass beat by Batman and his army of children.

All in all, Dany is a pure menace towards Vlad whenever he gets the chance, as is normal, and then Vlad's suffering gets doubled after he makes Ellie - of which she is even worse than Danny because she's the halfa that Danny Is NOt and thus has the powers to break into his house easy peasy and wreck shit. She steals his obsidian black card and goes on a shopping spree. This is a regular occurrence.

(and for anyone who isn't aware - Ellie is the same age as Danny in clone^2 bc i thought it'd be fun)

And then it gets tripled once Damian joins the family and gets caught up to speed on all of Vlad's tomfoolery and whoops, Damian's got better stealth skills than Danny and looks like Ellie has a partner in crime whenever they need to sneak into vlad's house to cause him grief.

Vlad's walls are the first canvas for Damian to test out his new spray paints on once he gets them :)

next up

Wes weston! i love this guy, he's so funny and he definitely knows danny is the Phantom in the clone^2 au. it's not as easy to figure out as it is in canon since its not just a simple colorswap, but perhaps he sees Danny taking off his mask after a daytime fight. and after that he becomes determined to reveal that quiet, strange fenton is the vigilante phantom.

he's putting some real,,, detectiveness? stalkerish? skills to use because catching photos of phantom is not as easy as it is if he were a halfa. He can't just snap a few dozen photos of fenton and phantom and then color compare the two of them either - Phantom wears a mask, and works primarily at night or in evenings, and typically avoids the living during the day. And he doesn't speak to the living either. Wes has to put in some extra work into his investigations and evidence.

He also makes the dumb mistake of cornering Danny in the bathroom one day early on and telling him he knows he's the Phantom -- now that Danny knows that Wes knows, he's going to be even more careful not to get caught. He puts in a little extra work in both Fenton and Phantom - another layer, perhaps a jacket, as Phantom, and baggier pants and boots he never wears as Fenton. His hood stays up in the daytime.

He was already putting in some extra effort to appear creepy and unsettling as Phantom - things like crouching low, tense movements, fluid movements. If he's perched on something he does a kinda-crawl like movement - think a mix between a bear and a gorilla crawl. It's weird, creepy. And he stares. Danny's mastered the art of not needing to blink for long periods of time, so if he sees you and sticks around he stares. It doesn't help that you can't see his eyes that well through his mask - its just two piercing green.

It helps endear him to ghosts and his enemies though - the annoying little human boy is engaging in ghost culture! That's eliciting some form of begrudging respect from his enemies.

And then compare that creepy, almost cryptid-like behavior to Fenton who, while considered a freak, really isn't anything more than just some dorky weirdo with occasional heart problems. He's kinda unsettling - he has those 'stares into soul' eyes - but its leveled by the fact that he's kinda just... dorky. It reads as normal, awkward kid behavior, and then gets disregarded completely as he gets older and it bleeds into 'very chill teenager'. Fenton being Phantom doesn't compute that much.

Paulina: you think Phantom is Fenton? Wes: I don't think, I know he is! I have proof-- Star: Just because they both have black hair doesn't mean they're the same, Wes. That's like saying Paulina and Manson are sisters because they also have black hair.

Wes's attempts to out him as Phantom means that Danny is a little more wary of him than he is in canon, since his vigilante identity isn't an entirely different ghost form its just him, so he has to be careful about where or when he takes off his mask in case Wes is around. Especially during daytime fights.

But other than that he has a lot of time messing with him. Wes is trying to convince his table group at lunch that Fenton = Phantom (again) and Danny just so happens to be within earshot of him and starts making fun of the idea.

"You think I'm Phantom?" and he's got the most disbelieving grin on his face that's only partially convincing. "That's totally bogus, man. The Phantom famously doesn't get along with my parents, why would I be a ghost hunter and not work with them?"

He has this most shit-eating, delighted look in his eyes that Wes knows is pure manic glee at being able to mess with him and get away with it. Wes is going to strangle him.

"Besides, dude, did you forget I have a heart condition? I can't be chasing around ghosts - my heart would give out from all that running and jumping."

Although Danny can get really serious at the flip of a coin if need be - especially with Wes when he gets too pushy about him being Phantom. A notable instance is when Wes cornered him in an empty bathroom to again talk about him being Phantom.

Except Danny, who had been working on a really difficult cold case about the death of a child, and hadn't gotten much sleep in the last 72 hours, plus a plethora of other stuff (like recently acquiring Damian, fighting ghosts, etc), wasn't in the mood to entertain him. It ended with Weston getting pinned to the wall and lowkey threatened by Danny. He apologizes for it afterwards but it's not forgotten.

Additional note: Wes Weston having a crush on Danny Fenton is a hilarious trope to me so Wes absolutely has a crush on Danny and the only one in denial about it is him. Everyone else - except Danny because he's more focused on the fact that Wes knows his identity, and has other things to worry about - knows about it, and everyone chalks up his obsession with Danny as being part of said crush.

Wes' friend: you know usually when you have a crush on someone you normally confess, maybe ask them out, pine from afar....

Wes: i dont--

Wes's friend: not accuse him of being the local ghost-fighting vigilante. Seriously, wes! His parents are ghost hunters!

Wes: i do not have a crush

Wes's friend: and ghosts aren't real! everyone knows that's a lie!

next up

Dan! Or Dante, but i'll call him Dan for the time being. Even if I dislike the name with a passion. Much like Wrath from my Childhood Friends au, Dan here is pretty different from his canon counterpart. Mostly because I wanted to experiment with Dan and different interpretations of him, and I thought; hey, where no better than an au where Danny has no powers?

so, dan? Dan is not a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost halves -- now, don't get me wrong, danny still ends up under vlad's custody care after the death of his family, but he just doesn't fuse with Vlad's ghost.

So, what happened? What happened is that Vlad convinces a grieving Danny that he should let him make him a halfa (despite the fact that he has no idea how) because the he could go find his family in the ghost zone. Danny is in no mental state for any kind of experiments, but his hope and want to see his family and friends again gets him to agree.

It backfires. Vlad doesn't make Danny a halfa, he just ends up killing him completely. Danny comes back instantly as a ghost however, and enraged over being lied to, betrayed, and murdered, ends up killing Vlad in furious cold blood. He doesn't fuse with his ghost half, there's no ghost half to fuse with.

So a grieving ghost, Danny flees into the ghost zone. And, in this iteration, doesn't end up destroying the world. So how does TUE end up happening? Well, ten years later - with Danny remaining a forever 14 year old ghost - Dan ends up finding out about time travel. He finds out a way to travel back into the past, and he does.

So he can take over his past self's life. Danny just thinks he's fighting a weird doppleganger ghost, but ends up getting overshadowed. It's like being in a weird limbo, and Danny's not really sure what's happening - but his friends figure something out. After all, its been ten years since dan saw his friends, something has to give.

And that episode happens. Danny ends up meeting clockworth, beats Dan. But, well, it's not really happily ever after - somewhat. Ehh.. sorta. Danny's been traumatized by Dan's overshadowing - making him realize that despite everything, there are things ghosts can do that danny simply cannot and he needs to prepare for it. Onset paranoia, anyone?

Dan tells them his whole tragic backstory - there's a chance for redemption here, for him. For forgiveness. Not immediately, not yet, but its there. And he doesn't want to go back to the future - he's alone there. He's tired of being alone.

But he ends up being convinced - he needs to learn to look forward, not cling back. He can build himself up again, find new family. He doesn't have to be alone. So Dan goes back to the future.

"But come tell me if Vlad's giving you trouble --" and he smiles something wicked, "I'd be happy to handle him again"

and finally

not so much as any concrete thoughts as it is just me being emotional over Danny and Damian's brotherhood in this au and also Danny's hands. Again.

lIKE.. I put it in the tags of my reblog of my "danny's scarred hands' ficlet but im putting it here and its just?? Danny grabbing the blade of Damian's sword. Him grabbing the sword multiple times despite the fact that he knows it will hurt, that he will hurt himself. That he will keep hurting himself until Damian himself stops.

its just like??? whats it mean to spill your own blood just so that this little boy you've just met won’t have to ever again. he doesn't know any english and he is hurting you and yet you take him home and get him new clothes. he runs away and you go looking for him, every single time. you teach yourself arabic first so that you can converse with him.

this boy is a clone and so are you. you're a clone of his father he's a clone of your son - by nature of your existence this is your child. except its not your child, you don't have one, its just a little boy who happens to share the same dna as you. and you take him home and he becomes your little brother.

what's it mean when its you whose been hurt rather than him? whats it mean when you’d hurt yourself again just so that he can start to heal, so that he knows that he’s worth it? you cut your hands on his blade, catch its swing, just so this boy can know, can learn, that there’s someone who will bleed for him. that there's someone who will scar their hands just to make sure that you wont scar yours.

you’re a bleeding heart and its spilling out onto your palms. you take bloody fingers and wrap it around your little brother’s and say "its okay. it’s okay. you’re safe. no one will hurt you here. i promise. i wont let them. no one will hurt you so long as i'm around."

"put the sword down. i can show you how. let me show you how."

and damian in this au just reminds me of the song "eight" by sleeping at last. like?? the lYRICS. he is sO "eight" coded

'show me how to lay my sword down for long enough to let you through.' 'here i am. pry me open. what do you want to know?' 'im just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence' 'but here's a map. here's a shovel. here's my achilles' heel. im all in palms out. im at your mercy now and im ready to begin. i am strong enough to let you in.'

"by nature of our existence we are father and son, but by choice we are brothers. we are brothers we are brothers we are brothers. and i love you"

[ronon-dex]

ok now they've crucified damian and finn as a tag team it's time for some classic judgment day tomfoolery. I'm thinking damian cashes in tomorrow evening and steals the entire show out of spite

[gluteus-canis-familiaris]

felt COMPELLED to look up Winnix College AU content for myself which led me to witness Damian in Hearts and Bones (2000-2001) Season 1, Episode 1:

very first scene = him affectionately touching foreheads while cracking jokes with the man seated beside him at dinner (a very young hugo speer wow)

very second scene = him reflecting on the things he said during dinner while soaking in a bath

and I had to stop there because I can no longer breathe with all this tomfoolery

[damofitz]

WHERE: A party at Pi Kappa Alpha WHEN: Night time?? 9ish OPEN TO ALL

“This isn’t mine,” Damian announced. Between his fingers was an empty beer bottle that he was holding onto awkwardly. “I’m just trying to stay on top of the mess,” he went on to further clarify. Pi Kappa Alpha was no stranger to hosting parties. Damian was no stranger to being inconvenienced by them. Loud noise, littering, general tomfoolery... You’d think he’d have gotten used to it by now. At times, he deluded himself into thinking he had grown accustomed to it as well. But as the night went on and the general disarray started to pile up, the inevitable unease would crawl up Damian’s spine and settle uncomfortably over his shoulders. “This wasn’t yours, was it? Hardly anything in it.” He shook the bottle. There was barely half an inch of liquid in it.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

It will never stop being funny to me that the Titan's Tower incident between Jason and Tim happened right after fucking Jericho did the exact same thing but was way, WAY scarier about it.

JERICHO repeatedly attacks them, endangers civilians, possesses multiple people, is out of his head with rage and sorrow at feeling expendable and feeling like teen vigilantism was what got him and Donna killed. Hell he even shoots Bart through the leg, which fucks him up so bad he has to go through unanesthetized surgery and that trauma prompts a whole ass character growth spurt! Jericho both while possessing Slade and when they fight him in Raven's mind trap thing is like seriously bad news! He's playing for keeps and intent on really hurting them! It takes a full team effort over multiple comics to trap the guy

Then fucking JASON sneaks in ever so carefully, knocks a few of them out, feels a bit bad about even doing that, and has like a waffle house parking lot fist fight with Tim in a party city Robin costume. And what's he do afterwards? He just fucking leaves and never bothers them again! He doesn't wanna kill any of them! He's just a sad wet sack who doesn't know what he's doing with himself

The Teen Titans really do gather around Timmy after their fight lookin at that wall like, "Fucking seriously?? This is the second time this week!"

[frothing-at-the-mouth]

(ID: Jason holds Tim with his arms pinned behind his back. Tim struggles shouting anger you and kicking his legs to keep himself away from Damian. Damian holds pliers and looks determined. In the background Dick stands confused about the scene he’s walked in on. -ID End)

Sup here have more fanart of the fic lol

Bare bones summery🦴 after getting injured during a mission it is discover Damian had been lying about his age, confusion and tomfoolery ensues as the others try to defining if he was lying about other things without him knowing, a long with general other tomfoolery and mishaps occurring.

[pidgefudge]

1 who is/are your comfort character(s)

44 you get a free pass to kill anyone who is it

And 49 can you skip rocks

(and 50 ?)

1. cecil palmer, hilda, everyone in the bright sessions (except damian), macaque, surrogate!arthur and faroe

44. goddamn making me choose between my parents huh,,, my mother is very much the Cult Parent of the two but she's also a bit less strict.... however my father is terrifying and controlling but more efficient and less annoying..... c can i have 2 free passes perhaps 👉👈

49. i don't think ive ever even been to a pond/lake in my life so nope 😔

and 50. can i tag you in random stuff? absolutely!! i love it when ppl tag me in posts it's like opening up a little present "oh i have been summoned!! simply cannot wait to see what sort of tomfoolery has been deemed worthy of my eyes by my beloved mutual"

[neakco]

Get Off My Back

Masterlist Ao3

Based off the song Get Off My Back by Bryan Adams.

Damian and Tim are facing off in an ally trading blows and insults.

Requested by ArtisticNinjaCat on Ao3, happy birthday, for whenever it may be or have been.

Damian laughed mockingly, “You, beat me in a fight? Really Drake?”

The two Robins stared each other down in one of Gotham's many side streets. Light reflected off glistening puddles of rain water, the torrential downpour keeping all but the most determined, or most insane, inside.

Damian drew a knife, the ally too narrow for his katana. “I have bore witness to your fights Drake, unless you have gained powers of a supernatural nature , you are doomed. So leave me be.”

Tim drew his baton and took a confident step forward. “Really Gremlin, that the best you have? Insults and words, you are nothing more than a soaked, frightened kitten yelling loudly and puffing up his fur to try to look bigger and scarier. Reality check, it isn’t working.”

Damian’s hand twitched briefly as he resisted the urge to retaliate. “At least I have claws, all you have are your words Drake. Fancy words you use to worm into people’s cranium. You really have lost it if you think your simple taunts will work on me.” His grip on the dagger loosened, a taunt in its own right. “If you really are determined to fight than I recommend losing the air of cowardice and actually attempt your version of an attack.”

Tim moved faster than the psychos they normally fought, but Damian had been expecting it and used the pommel of his blade to block before countering with a kick. Tim dodged back and they were again staring.

“Nice attempt, for a kid of 12, will you now forfeit and leave me to my own?”

“Brat, you wish!” Tim tossed a baterang and came at where Damian would be if he dodged, “I refuse to lose.”

Instead Damian inception the baterang with his own and aimed a fist towards Tim’s remaining kidney.

They kicked up mud and gravel, each landing and receiving blows. The I suits slowly dissolved to simple name-calling until they both froze at some unheard signal.

“Enough tomfoolery, I am positive I heard father leave.”

“I second.”

Quickly putting away weapons they started to remove any trackers from their persons.

“You are positive father will believe we were too angry to pull off this rescue in coordination?”

“Heist, little brother, call it what it is.” Tim pulled two small bags from hiding and tossed one towards Damian. From his own he pulled out an entirely black outfit which he started to pull on over his uniform.

“The animals are being experimented on,” He huffed while pulling on his own black clothing. “therefore it is a rescue.”

“Maybe, but we are also stealing their data and releasing it to the media. Therefore, heist.”

“Fine, but if anyone asks, I won.”

“Deal, but if they ask, I haven’t slept in about a week.”

“Drake!” Damian turned sharply to his brother, a hint of concern shadowed in his eyes.

“Relax Gremlin, I actually slept last night. This heist is far too important to both of us.” He pulled up his sleeve to glance at his watch. “I think we have 2 hours before B gets suspicious enough to check on our fight.”

Damian grinned and took off running, “As if I would need more than one.”

As always I wrote this on a phone so any constructive criticism is welcome. Please point out if Damian's name is spelt 'Damien' my phone has an issue with autocorrect.

[ao3feed-timkon]

Bats Really Do Things the Hardest Way Possible, Don't They?

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/lxzp0JG

by TheWitchBoy

“If you are implying that I would have time, or interest in making time, for such base pursuits as ‘dating,’ you are mistaken,” Damian said.

Words: 6627, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 29 of Fluff and Happy Things, Part 18 of Batfamily Shenanigans & Tomfoolery, Part 5 of Misc Bingo and Themed Week Fills

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne, Terry McGinnis, Axel Walker (Mentioned), Wally West

Relationships: Jonathan Samuel Kent & Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent/Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Damian Wayne, Duke Thomas/Axel Walker (Mentioned), Dick Grayson/Wally West, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent (mentioned), Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain (mentioned), Roy Harper/Jason Todd (implied), (implied so subtly that it might not as well be tagged tbh)

Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne-centric, Jonathan Samuel Kent is a Ray of Sunshine, Mindless Fluff, Fluff, This Is STUPID, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne's B- Parenting, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Demisexual Jason Todd, Demisexual Damian Wayne, Friends to Lovers

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/lxzp0JG

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Bats Really Do Things the Hardest Way Possible, Don't They?

by TheWitchBoy

“If you are implying that I would have time, or interest in making time, for such base pursuits as ‘dating,’ you are mistaken,” Damian said.

Words: 6627, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 29 of Fluff and Happy Things, Part 18 of Batfamily Shenanigans & Tomfoolery, Part 5 of Misc Bingo and Themed Week Fills

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne, Terry McGinnis, Axel Walker (Mentioned)

Relationships: Jonathan Samuel Kent & Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent/Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Damian Wayne, Duke Thomas/Axel Walker (Mentioned)

Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne-centric, Jonathan Samuel Kent is a Ray of Sunshine, Mindless Fluff, Fluff, This Is STUPID, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne's B- Parenting

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/44112010