#explain Data Structure
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pez dispenser update, yay!
I am Very Interested in the direction you're taking izuku here. He seems to have come out the other side of this breakdown going, "no look! I trust you guys! Here, I trust you guys so much! You can know about the severe injuries I had as a child that never got a police report!"
It's funny to read izuku's pov vs aizawa. Izuku is just like, wow this all needs to end so I can get back to being the Normal And Awesome Deku I have turned myself into, and aizawa is like thirty seconds from having his own panic attack at having a few months to turn this kid into a functional human being.
You can truly tell that with how izuku keeps insisting on that he's got this by himself, with no understanding how crazy it is to expect his friends and teachers to back out and let him take over, that he, still, still, STILL has simply 0 faith or expectation that his teacher is driven to help the little kid in izuku that he's buried so deep down there. That an authority figure who isn't all might wants to save him. I want to eat his unthinking, warped by trauma thought patterns, they are delicious.
Kinda touching that midoriya foresaw and tried to avert the all might conversation issue. Rip, dude really tried, but baby izuku is like one of those puddles in flooded old buildings you can find videos of people dropping a rock in -- it doesn't look that deep, but if you tried to put your foot in, you would be getting a whole lot more than your shoe wet.
Yeahhhhhh Izuku’s really not handling it the best.
Izuku genuinely didn’t keep everything a secret all these years because he didn’t trust his friends. It wasn’t that he thought they’d react poorly or hurt him with the information or spread it around or anything like that. This was purely due to his own internal issues around it.
But they’re three years deep into being in the fucking trenches together. And Izuku very much is considered a bedrock of the class. You can see it in their internal monologues—everyone trusts him implicitly. It’s Izuku. If one of them was going through something sensitive or painful, he’d be at the top of the list of people to turn to. For like, the entire class.
And while Izuku isn’t per se aware of the fact that the entire class views him as the best of them, he is painfully aware of the fact that they’ve opened up to him over the years. And that this is making it look like he didn’t tell them a single detail about his life before he came to the school. Which is fair, because he sort of didn’t.
So he’s overcompensating. He doesn’t need privacy because he trusts them so so much and this proves it, right?? They can totally know the sordid details of the past he’s in active crisis over.
He’s scared that he’s going to lose the people who have trusted him over the years because he seemingly didn’t trust them back. But they all trust him so much that they’re more beating themselves up than blaming him.
Todoroki and Mirio were in that scene like “uuuuhhhh you look like you’re a second from a panic attack we can totally give you space if it makes you more comfortable” and Izuku’s in a spiral like Why Would I Need Space I Trust You Both Implicitly Please Ignore The Obvious Distress.
Fundamentally, Izuku has never processed what happened to him as a kid. He didn’t tell them because he wasn’t ready to confront how bad it was back then. It wasn’t about trust. Telling them meant saying aloud what happened. He just wasn’t ready for that.
And from the path canon took, I don’t really see Izuku trusting adults. His childhood did absolutely nothing to make him think teachers would protect him. And for all Aizawa did right, I think this is one bag in canon he legitimately dropped.
I want to be clear—Aizawa was working at a severe disadvantage. He didn’t even have a lot to tell him the problem existed, let alone how to address it. But it’s specifically the Hero Killer Stain Arc that makes me think that Izuku only would trust Aizawa to a certain point.
After the Hero Killer Stain Arc, Aizawa canonically calls out Iida, Todoroki, and Izuku in front of the entire class. He doesn’t mention what it's about, but he makes it very clear that he knows what happened and that he disapproves. And his criticism is specific: In instances where you are out matched, it is better to run and get help. Iida, Midoriya, and Todoroki need to understand that
The thing is that Izuku and Todoroki both considered that as their first option and then correctly deduced that they'd be burying Iida if they did that.
I will actually die on the hill that is that Izuku and Todoroki did everything right when it came to the Hero Killer Stain. Iida caused the problem, but the fact that he made mistakes was the point of that arc for him. But Izuku and Todoroki?
They both reacted perfectly. And if they had done a single thing differently, they'd have two dead bodies.
When Izuku realizes that Iida's in danger, the city is on fire, Nomu are attacking the train, and his supervisor has fucked off to fight monsters attacking the city. He does not have an adult hero who is free to bring with him, and we know for a fact that he did not have time to hesitate or try to find other options, because he arrives the second before Iida dies as-is. When he's on scene, his absolute first instinct is to run. Izuku canonically clocked the fact that he was out matched, evaluated whether he could safely retreat, and realized he’d never be able to get out of there with Iida and Native. He’d have to leave one or both of them to die.
So he asked for help the safest way he could: sending out the mass text and stalling for time. And canonically, he wasn’t hoping a classmate would show up to the fight. He was hoping they’d report it to their supervisors and get him help, which is exactly what multiple of his classmates did.
Todoroki, for his part, correctly clocked that something was wrong with Izuku when he got the message. And he didn’t just fuck off without telling anyone where he was going. He evaluated the situation, realized the city was on fucking fire and there wasn’t a single hero free to go with them, and told the heroes with him that they needed to go to this exact location the first second they could. And he didn’t have a moment to hesitate or figure something else out, because he also showed up at the very last second before Iida took a sword to his spine.
Frankly, Todoroki and Izuku couldn’t have possibly handled the situation better, but they got absolutely shit on in the aftermath. I don’t recall a single adult who told them they did the right thing, except maybe Native. They had the fucking chief of police telling them they were no better than the guy who tried to kill their teenage friend with a sword and their teacher publicly calling them out in front of the class without the benefit of context.
If I was Izuku, I would have walked out of that entire thing having my preexisting distrust of adults affirmed. Like. There isn’t a world where Izuku realistically looks back on his actions and thinks “damn I really should have left Iida die.” He’s not going to change a fucking thing in what he did. Every single time, he’s going to go save his friend. The only realistic take away Izuku could have from Aizawa’s call out was “wow, that guy is not going to have my back if I have to make a tough call. So if I have to make one, then I’m just not going to him for help.”
Which is kind of where we're at in pez right now, and Aizawa's starting to realize it. Don't get me wrong, Izuku trusts Aizawa more than any teacher he ever had growing up. He doesn't think Aizawa is going to be actively malicious to him. But he also doesn't necessarily think Aizawa's going to have his back.
The crux of it is in chapter 4. Tiny Izuku says that Mr. Aizawa is already on Izuku's side, and Izuku's immediate reply is, "I promise you that Mr. Aizawa has never once been on my side." He back pedals fast, clarifies that he thinks Mr. Aizawa is fair and not on anyone's side, but his knee-jerk reaction is undeniable.
And to me? It's because Aizawa genuinely has not been on Izuku's side since he came to UA. And I don't mean Aizawa has been malicious to Izuku. Fundamentally, the issue is that he misdiagnosed the problem.
Aizawa has spent his entire time with Izuku mistakenly believing that the source of Izuku's issues was the same as Bakugou's. He is only now realizing that his issues were more like Shinsou's.
Fundamentally, Aizawa correctly recognized that Izuku's problems came from the fact that he was raised in an unjust system. But he misunderstood what Izuku's position in it was.
Here's what Aizawa knows, from the jump: Izuku and Bakugou came from the same school. Both have very powerful Quirks. Both have obvious issues with the other. Izuku specifically moves and looks like he had a professional trainer, meaning someone invested in his training as a hero. Bakugou talks like someone who's been told his entire life that the sun shines out his ass and never got punished for being a little shit. Izuku's more muted, but he came from the same school. Two kids with powerful quirks? Likely were getting away with the exact same shit.
When you have an unjust system, you have the people running it, the people benefitting from it, and the people being victimized by it. If the teachers at Aldera were letting kids with powerful quirks get away with murder, both Izuku and Bakugou were likely benefitting from that. And it is absolutely vital that Aizawa undoes that damage before they debut.
He doesn't even need to think Izuku, specifically, was abusing his position in this power imbalance. The damage is done from how the teachers at aldera were likely treating him. Teachers that produce kids like Bakugou tell talented, powerful kids that they're special, that they're above the rules, that they've got something so fundamentally important about them that they can get away with more. Even if you don't chose to abuse that narrative in the moment, that's a hell of a formative experience.
They're about to have a ridiculous amount of power. They are about to be in charge of enforcing the rules. And people who are in charge of enforcing the rules and think they're above them turn into Endeavor.
Aizawa's approached Izuku from a sort of tough love perspective from the jump. He didn't cut him an ounce of slack, and it's because he genuinely was trying to do right by Izuku. No, he's not going to get to smash up his body and make himself a hazard. Figure it out, or go home.
He's had plenty of time to learn how to manage his quirk, after all.
With Stain? I don't think Aizawa, if he knew the full circumstances, would genuinely say the right call is to have Iida's fucking funeral. I think he'd agree with the decisions Izuku and todoroki made. But he didn't have all the information, and, fatally, he didn't ask. He assumed.
He's got three powerful, bullheaded students who end up in a back alley in the middle of the night, having all separately ditched the heroes they were supposed to be joined at the fucking hip with. He absolutely thinks that they either planned it together or that, when they realized what Iida did, Todoroki and Iida went after him in secret to try to keep Iida from getting in trouble--and almost got them all killed in the process. There is absolutely no way Aizawa knows that they actually tried to run and get help at every turn.
Aizawa made assumptions. And a big reason why he felt comfortable making those assumptions was because he thought he knew what Izuku's problem was. He thought Izuku, like Bakugou, had been benefitting from teachers turning a blind eye to his misbehavior for years. But the problem was the exact opposite. Teachers had been turning a blind eye to his victimization for years.
He shouldn't have been treating him like Bakugou. He should have been treating him like Shinsou.
Aizawa's trying to correct the damage of past teachers. If they've spent years telling Izuku he's god's gift to mankind and it doesn't matter what he does because he's a hero and that makes up for it, Aizawa needs to hold him to the fucking rules. He needs him to understand that he's not special, he's not the main character, he's not intrinsically better or more important or above the rules in some magically important way. He doesn't want to hear excuses. He doesn't want to know why this time it was different. Izuku needs to understand that he has to live by the rules too, because he's going to be in charge of enforcing them soon.
But if they've spent years telling him he's worthless, that people can hurt him and it's okay, that he can never, ever expect help from them because he's not worth it? Then fuck, Aizawa needed to do the opposite. He needed the same end result, don't get me wrong--an understanding that the system equally applies to everyone--but he needs to make Izuku believe that the system will protect him again. That Aizawa will protect him. And Aizawa's combing over every fucking interaction they've ever had, and realizing that he hasn't done that, because he spent all his time trying to correct a problem that didn't exist.
I think Aizawa's been beating his head against the problem that is Midoriya Izuku for the past three years. Because Izuku's a hard-worker. He is brilliant. He is a natural leader. He is the fucking cornerstone of the class. He is shining so bright that it's going to kill him, because Aizawa knows how to recognize a star that's burning out.
For three years, Aizawa has tried and failed to get Izuku to realize he can and should ask for help. And he has failed because he thought the problem was that Izuku didn't think he needed help, when the problem was actually that he thought no one would give it to him.
In this last chapter, Izuku finally said aloud the reason behind the core issue Aizawa’s had with him his entire time at UA: Growing up, he thought that there was literally one man on the planet who would care enough to save him. He was the most hero-obsessed boy Aizawa’s ever met, and he thought All Might was the only hero alive he could count on to care if he lived or died.
There it is. The exact answer about every scrap of self destructive behavior that Aizawa’s been trying and failing to remedy for years. Why the fuck would he ask for help when he needs it? He’s spent his entire life living in a world where people wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire. Aizawa needed every day of those three years to reverse that kind of damage, and he’s out of fucking time.
Aizawa is legitimately terrified that he fucked up and that it's going to kill Izuku.
Izuku’s Quirklessness is the missing piece of the puzzle that makes everything fall into place—which is why he’s so pissed at All Might for not telling him. Aizawa’s actually kicking himself for not noticing the obvious discrepancies in Izuku’s past. The fact that he grew up with a powerful Quirk was the factor that made him return to the same incorrect conclusion again and again. There were enough hints that he feels guilty for not figuring it out anyway, but if he had known about Izuku’s Quirklessness from the start? He would have figured it out in seconds.
Now that he knows, Aizawa’s changed how he handles Izuku. He doesn’t let there be a single doubt about what he’s doing or why. He makes Izuku explain himself, so that way there’s no more miscommunications around what he means. He makes sure to compliment him whenever he does something right—he’s trying to change courses, but he’s panicking that it’s too little, too late.
And now he’s got this goddamn criminal investigation that Izuku wants to bury, and it’s killing him. Because that’s his student, and he was hurt horribly. And his student just cannot comprehend why Aizawa cannot let it go.
And then there’s All Might.
All Might’s conversation with baby Izuku, for me, forecloses the possibility that explaining OfA is a solution here.
All Might really went in and knocked it out of the park with the best possible attempt at convincing Tiny Izuku that he’s himself. He immediately failed, albeit, but he honestly couldn’t have done better.
There he is, Izuku’s lifelong hero. And he’s there to say the things Izuku’s spent his whole life wanting to hear. All Might met him, and Izuku inspired him. He reminded him of himself when he was young. He thought he could be a hero. He was so impressed he offered to personally mentor Izuku.
And he loved him. Believe you are him, because I loved you too much to ever let anyone take you from me. There is a fundamental flaw in your theory that simply no one cared enough to notice or stop him, because I love you with all of me. I would have noticed. I would have saved you.
If there is absolutely anything that could have convinced Tiny Izuku, it would be that. This isn’t about quality of the explanation. There’s an internal issue that needs to be fixed before Tiny Izuku will believe any of this.
And I think Izuku recognizes this, on a level. As much as he and Tiny Izuku clash, Izuku gets him. He can typically predict Tiny Izuku’s exact responses to things.
But he’s never approached Tiny Izuku like someone he can explain this to. He’s spent this entire time trying to cheat code his way out of this situation. He wants Mr. Aizawa to erase him or to go find the Quirk user and find away to negate the Quirk. He’s never actually even considered explaining this all to himself as a solution.
Because he knows that there’s some kind of fundamental impossibility about it. Even if he can’t say exactly what it is, he knows that there’s an internal issue that means he’s not going to be able to just tell Tiny Izuku the truth.
Voice of God, he is dead fucking right about Tiny Izuku not buying OfA and being liable to tell everyone out of spite. Tiny Izuku would have that shit on the news.
Fundamentally, Izuku is aware that there is a deeper problem driving Tiny Izuku. He knows that it’s not about the quality of the explanation. There is something deeply, profoundly wrong because of what happened to him that makes him absolutely unable to accept that Izuku is him.
But Izuku has never known how to solve the mental wounds his childhood left him with. He still has them himself. He’s been burying them for years, and he can’t anymore.
When action opens in pez, Izuku himself is not okay. He’s just… bleeding internally. He knows how to hurt in ways people can’t see. But you can see how much his childhood is still bothering him in his defense of Mirio. He has never been able to let go of what happened to him. The wounds never healed.
And he doesn’t know how to go to these people he loves and tell them that what they’re trying fundamentally will fail, because he knows he’s been hiding this fucking shipwreck of his own mental health for the past three years but they don’t have a fucking clue at the scale of the problem.
At the end of the day, All Might went in there because he wanted to save Izuku. And Izuku told him not to because he cannot imagine himself being saved.
#pez dispenser debris#a lot of people in the comments were like ‘the only thing to do is to explain OFA they can’t get around it’ tiny Izuku WILL HAVE that shit#on the fucking news.#it’s not about the quality of the explanation#to me the late bloomer thing is the best explanation they could have#like it is /absolutely fucking bonkers/ to claim that his personal hero all might passed him a seemingly immutable genetic trait#‘our hero all might gave me his eye color or like. his kidney function. no not his kidney just how it worked.’ like that’s insane#for me AfO and OfA are fundamentally different beasts than a copy quirk like monomas#monoma is a very selective shape shifter. he alters his own physical structure briefly to match someone else#afo and OfA are permanently alterations to /other peoples bodies/ which is a huge step farther than what m#what people originally thought quirks capable of#tiny Izuku’s only vaguely aware of afo and doesn’t have enough data to contemplate if OfA would be possible but would sound so fake to him#right now. it’s not about the quality of the explanation it’s something else that’s making him reject this#at least with late bloomers there’s precedence and it sort of fits with the idea that Izuku seemingly has multiple quirks#it’s vaguely been referenced in a few places but there’s a lot of people in quirk sciences who have noticed Izuku’s breaking rules with his#quirk and are asking to like. study him. Izuku’s started to sweat because of it#but the prevailing theory is that he’s the next step in evolution. some scientists would swear up and down that Izuku’s the start of the#next boom. him being a late bloomer would be easily assimilated into that theory. people are going to get quirks later and stronger now.#it’s possible that new mutations will be introduced to the population#Izuku’s fucking /sweating/ because monoma went around talking about how he has a stockpile quirk and he knows that his quirk breaks the#fundamental rules of stockpiling quirks. he’s terrified it’s going to get back to someone who realizes that and starts making noise about#him having a new mutation. he doesn’t have a new mutation. he has a mutation that went extinct at the dawn of quirks and is only preserved#through OfA.
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eligobrrrrr · 1 year ago
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I have to do like, 2 whole (small) programs and an investigation for today and I'm just sitting infront of my pc like
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This shit crazy
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divinekangaroo · 11 months ago
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Right that's 4000 words in the correct narrative flow and order, everything necessarily described, five supporting graphs drawn, three tables replicated, and all references properly done.
Tomorrow is:
reduce reduce reduce
clean up the graphs (and move words to the graphs because they don't count in wordcount...)
reduce
brood on incapability and likelihood of missing the point
get distracted for 45 minutes and continue to populate the Modern!AU spreadsheet/timeline
reduce
let it sit
Submission not til the 18th but I shall brood and reread next week and submit so I can get on with the next.
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1o1percentmilk · 2 years ago
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and then u have me who understands theory but doesnt know how to program shit!!!
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sanjida1 · 7 months ago
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AI HIGH TICKET COMMISSIONS
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padthaifan · 10 months ago
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I hate to affirm the haters (experienced artists) but wow sitting down and watching art technique videos is really… Wow it really does work. But we CANNOT let the haters know that
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jannat165 · 10 months ago
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Qno;1
Explain various methods to search for an element in a given array.?
ANS;
Searching for an element in an array is a common operation in computer science. There are several methods to achieve this, each with its ......read more
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hrrtshape · 19 days ago
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shifting is just picking what happens to you (or, read this if you're confused about shifting and a person who has shifted over ten times will explain it...hopefully).
it's just your mind moving into different experiential realities based on what you're aligned with at any given second.
you are already doing it. constantly. every time you make a decision, change your opinion, react to something differently, you are mentally stepping into a different version of your life.
you pick tea instead of coffee, you're now in the branch where you drank tea.
you believe you're bad at maths, you're now living the sequence where that belief colours your whole experience of maths.
you decide "i'm lucky" and actually internalise it, you start living out a reality structured by that assumption.
shifting is not special. it's literally just continuous relocation of consciousness through choice and belief, tiny or huge.
most people shift so microscopically they don't notice. they call it "change," "growth," "bad luck," "mood swings," but really it's just consciousness slipping sideways into another experiential stream where the variables are a little different.
big shifting, like waking up in another reality, is just doing that same thing but deliberately, with intent, with commitment.
instead of unconsciously slipping into a slightly different branch because you chose a different lunch, you are consciously saying:
"ok. now i experience myself in this completely different set of conditions."
and your brain, because it is literally a data-processing organ, not a fixed meat box, accepts it when you make it real enough to override old data. are you still with me !?!?!?
you shift every second based on decisions, reactions, beliefs.
most shifts are small, unnoticed, cumulative. "big" shifts are just conscious, deliberate relocations into drastically different experiential data. it's not magic. it's normal. it's mechanical. it's the default setting of existence.
every moment you're experiencing a version of your life.
it's not THEE life. it's A life, the one you're tuned into right now based on what you expect, believe, and focus on.
when you shift, you're just moving into a different version of your life experience.
not a new world. not a portal. not a dream.
just a different set of experiences your mind is capable of locking onto, like changing playlists.
you do it already, every time you change your mind, act differently, even notice something new.
you're not jumping through dimensions like a marvel movie, you're just moving your awareness into a slightly or hugely different path that was always accessible.
small shifts = when you start liking sushi after hating it.
big shifts = when you wake up and the whole setup feels different because you deliberately chose a new pattern to lock into.
your experiences are flexible. your mind moves through them automatically. deliberate shifting is just taking the wheel.
now, for "big" shifts.
getting into the big shifts, or living in a completely different setup, starts with the same process as the small ones: some sort of belief and assumption.
if you're shifting into a different experience, whether that's hogwarts, a marvel universe, or a whole new version of your life, it's because you choose to believe that it's possible. just like you decide you're lucky or bad at maths, you decide you're already living in that new life.
it's not about waiting for something to "happen" or needing a cosmic shift. it's simply deciding that this new life is what you are now aligning with.
the key to big shifts is assumption.
you've been shifting already, but the experience you're living in right now is the one your mind is locked into. to get to something drastically different, you just need to fully assume that it's yours. it's like deciding what you're going to eat for lunch. one day it's pasta, the next it's sushi.
it doesn't need to be a complicated, mystical process. you just shift your awareness by choosing the assumption that the new setup is already happening for you.
why it's possible to wake up in a different world or timeline: your brain doesn't care if you're imagining or physically experiencing something, it will treat both as equally real.
once you decide that this new life is your life, your brain accepts it. you're not "leaving" one world and going to another, you're simply locking into a different path that was always available.
everything already exists. it's just a matter of tuning your mind to it.
once you assume it's possible, it's like pressing play on a movie. you commit to the experience, and your brain accepts it because it's designed to process whatever you focus on as reality.
the difference between a small shift and a big one is the depth of your focus and how much you align with that new assumption. the more you assume you're in this new reality, the more real it feels.
how to get there
stop looking at the shift as something you need to "arrive" at or wait for. it's happening now.
you don't need to fight your current experience; you just need to choose to experience the new one. you get there by focusing on the new belief, like a switch, but it's not a sudden jolt. it's a steady, quiet shift of awareness that says: this is my life now.
and the result: your mind doesn't draw boundaries between worlds. once you decide to step into a different version of your life, all that's required is the commitment to live inside it.
the reason it works with fantasy worlds, with totally different setups, is that your mind knows no limits. if you can think it and fully believe it's yours, it is yours. shifting is just you consciously moving into another path you've decided to live out.
why don't i see it? (aka why is my world not changing)
(i will copy and paste something i said previously, but it is 100% applicable here)
our brain files things under "real" and "not real" as if it's got an actual authority on the matter. but. it doesn't have any proof.
your brain doesn't have eyes. now i know you'll say that you do.
but what do your eyes actually do? they see things. cool. but . your eyes don't see truth. they see whatever your brain tells them is real.
example: ever woken up from a dream and for a few seconds, you still thought it was real? fully convinced? because your brain believed it, so your eyes went along with it. your heart raced, your hands shook, maybe you even felt pain. all from something that wasn't real.
or ever had deja vu? where you swear something has happened before, but you know it hasn’t? again. your brain is filling in gaps. deciding what's real for you.
so when you say, i know i'm in my cr because i can see it, what you’re really saying is, i know i'm in my cr because my brain is telling me i am.
but your brain is just following a script. one it's been running since birth. what happens when you stop following it? when you stop taking its word for it?
when you ask what if i already shifted? your brain freezes. because it doesn't actually know. it just assumes. and when it starts to doubt itself, that's when you slip through.
how do you break out of it: stop trying to make reality change. assume it already has. sit in the knowing that you are already where you want to be. no proving, no waiting, no searching. just accepting. reality bends to what you accept as fact.
the only thing keeping you in your cr is that you keep assuming it's real.
why some people shift easily and some don't:
it's not because some people are chosen or have magic brains. it's not because they "tried harder" or found a secret method. it's because some people assume they've already done it, and some keep looking around for proof.
when you're still checking, doubting, testing, your mind is holding onto the idea that you're not there yet.
even if you're doing all the techniques right, if the feeling underneath. it is "i'm trying to shift" instead of "i already have," you're holding the experience of waiting, not having.
people who wake up in their drs didn't stay stuck in the "trying" mindset.
it's not about how badly you want it. it's about whether you accept it without needing anything outside of you to confirm it.
your brain doesn't need to see it first. it needs to believe it first. seeing follows.
to the people who haven't shifted: you're not that wrong, broken, or bad at it. it's just that you're mind is still split, half believing, half checking. half stepping into it, half pulling back. and that's human. that's normal. but the second you stop needing to "see it to believe it" and start trusting the inner knowing, you'll slip through.
do you need to persist in your assumption?
technically, no.
but practically???? sometimes, yes.
here's why: shifting isn't about how hard you push. it's about what you accept as true. if you could snap into a full-body, no-doubt belief that you already shifted, right now, you wouldn't need persistence at all. you'd be done. locked in. experiencing it.
but, because most people have years of habits, doubts, conditioning, it's not always instant. the mind wants to fall back into what feels familiar.
not because it's evil. not because it's trying to sabotage you. just because that's how the brain saves energy: it runs the old script unless you feed it a new one enough times to override it.
nothing can stop you from shifting.
not your doubts. not your overthinking. not your past. not your fears. not your age. not how long you've "failed." not your mental health. not the fact that you woke up in your same bed today. not how "stuck" you feel. not your logic. not your friends, your parents, your teachers, your surroundings. not your subconscious. not the clock. not the calendar. not "missing the void." not "doing it wrong."
nothing.
because shifting isn't something you earn. it's not a reward you unlock after completing a list of tasks or becoming a better, calmer, smarter version of yourself. it's not a door guarded.
shifting is just moving your awareness to a different experience. you are the only authority. your assumption is the key, the lock, the door, the floorboards.
even your resistance can't stop it, because the second you decide, even if a part of you is screaming “this is stupid,��� your mind begins tilting toward the new path.
moment by moment.
shift by shift.
breath by breath.
the only thing that delays it is believing that something can delay it.
but if you drop that???? if you stop believing anything outside of you has the power???? you move. immediately. automatically. effortlessly.
you cannot be denied access to something that was never closed. you cannot be blocked from a process that is natural to you. you cannot fail at something that is built into the way you already exist.
you shift because you decide to. that's it. that's all.
if you feel like quitting shifting, read upon this: post about quitting<3
and that's really it.
shifting isn't some cosmic lottery. it's not about waiting for a sign or chasing a feeling. it's not about methods or hours or perfect conditions.
it's just a choice. and then you live like it's true, even if everything around you still smells like your old life for a minute.
you don't owe the old version of your life anything. you don't need to explain yourself to your senses. you don't need to argue with your thoughts. you just decide and you stay decided. even when it's boring. even when it's slow. even when your brain wants to reroute you back into doubt.
the shift doesn't happen because you begged for it. the shift happens because you stopped needing permission to believe you already had it.
no chasing. no proving. no waiting. just deciding.
if you're confused about any other aspects, i have some routes for you to follow !!
how to shift
how to have successful shifts (follow up)
i said what i said and then it happened
becoming the laziest manifestor &&& shifter.
how i personally shift all the time and my own method
things that could "possibly" be stopping you and what to do about it
how to set an assumption
&my central masterlist <3
what to do with the 3d
or if you wanna hear my own experience
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ms-demeanor · 4 months ago
Note
I've seen you say a few times that it's a good idea to have a password manager; could you explain why? I always feel like I'm missing something when it's mentioned because it's phrased as if there's an obvious danger that password managers protect you from, but I'm honestly not sure how they help keep passwords secure.
The obvious danger is human nature. Humans are bad at creating passwords; your passwords are almost certainly easy to guess, repeated across different accounts, or both, because that is just how the vast VAST majority of people create passwords, because humans are bad at creating passwords. Everybody knows "the rules" for creating passwords (don't use the same password on multiple websites, don't include personal details in your passwords, don't use very common words or letter or number sequences in your passwords, don't tell other people your password) and people break all of those rules anyway.
A standalone (not in-browser like firefox or chrome password manager, though those are better than nothing) password manager stores your passwords, generates complex passwords for you, and can also be used for things like storing notes on passwords (like "did I put my MFA on my email or my cellphone or an app for this password?" or "here are the made-up answers to the security questions I used for this website because I definitely didn't use real answers or answers I'd used on previous websites" or "these are the bills associated with this credit card").
With the way the current security landscape works, there are two things that are extremely important when you are creating a password:
Uniqueness
Complexity
The overwhelmingly prevalent way that people get "hacked" these days is through credential stuffing.
Let's say that your private data was revealed in the Experian breach a decade ago. It revealed your name, email address, and phone number. Now let's also say that your private data was revealed in one of the many breaches from social media sites; that one revealed your name, email address, phone number, password, and security questions.
If someone wants to try to gain access to one of your accounts - let's say your bank account - if they have your name and phone number (usually extremely easy to find online), they can cross-reference that information with data that has been revealed in previous breaches - now they've got your name and your email address (which you probably used to sign up for your online banking and have ABSOLUTELY used as your login for accounts all over the place) and at least one password that you've used somewhere.
But the thing is, they don't have one password. They have every password associated with that email address that has ever been revealed in a breach. If you go to the site haveibeenpwned.com you can enter your email and see how many times your email address has appeared in a breach. You can compare that with the number of passwords that were revealed in those breaches and you can ask yourself "what did those passwords have in common?"
Because I can tell you, my Tumblr password from 2013, my Kickstarter password from 2014, and my Disqus password from 2017 (all revealed in various breaches) probably had a lot in common.
So, now the hacker has: your name, your email (which is probably your username), and various passwords they can try to use to log in. Did you use the same password for Facebook and Twitter eight years ago? Did you use parts of that password for creating your bank password? If you heard that twitter passwords were exposed in a breach you probably changed that password, but did you change the bank password that you built on the same structure? Probably not.
So what people will do is gather up all of this information and guess. They'll try your 2017 Disqus password to see if it will get access to your bank account. They'll try your 2020 Gravatar password. They'll try your 2024 Internet Archive Password.
And the reason they do this is because it works.
And the reason that it works is because we are all fucking garbage at remembering unique, complex passwords so instead of creating actually unique, complex passwords most people pick one memorable word or phrase, one memorable number, one unusual character, and *MAYBE* one feature of the site they're creating the login for and they use that template forever (1988Tumblrmacabre!, 1988Facebookmacabre!, 1988Ticketmastermacabre!) OR they create one password that they think is complex enough and use it across multiple sites with minor tweaks ($n0h0mi$hRu13z, sn0h0mishRul13z!, $n0h0mi$hWA) as needed for the sites' password requirements.
So most of what password managers do that is a drastic security improvement over people creating and memorizing passwords is that they create passwords that are functionally impossible to guess and functionally impossible to memorize. The problem with memorizing passwords (which is what you're doing if you're creating a bunch of passwords that you type in all the time) is that you can't actually remember all that many passwords so you'll repeat those passwords. The problem with creating passwords on your own is that passwords that humans create are pretty guessable. Even if you're doing a passphrase that's a long string of words you're probably working with common words ("correct horse battery staple" as opposed to "truculent zygote onomatopoeia frangible") and your password is more guessable than you'd really want it to be. Password managers don't do that, they generate gibberish.
Perhaps you are that rare person who gets out a set of dice and a notepad and rolls up every character for your password and memorizes it and never repeats, and if that's you, you could still benefit from a password manager because a password manager makes it easier to change that unique complex password when it is inevitably revealed in a breach.
So, okay, let's check in with where we're at:
Password managers mean that you don't have to memorize your password, which means that you don't need a password that is easy to memorize, which means that they can create passwords that are extremely complex and are therefore very difficult to guess. This protects you from crackers who will try to brute force your password.
Password managers mean that you don't have to remember extremely complex passwords for every account, which means that you are less likely to repeat your password in whole or in part across multiple accounts. This protects you from credential stuffers, who will try to use your password from one account that was revealed in a breach to open other accounts that were not.
Because password managers can generate and store complex passwords essentially instantly, you can replace passwords nearly effortlessly when there is a breach (no need to 'come up with' a new password, no issues with learning or memorizing it).
There are, however, advantages beyond that.
One major, MAJOR advantage of a properly-used standalone password manager is that it makes you safer from various kinds of phishing attempts and link hijacking. When you are setting up a password in your password manager (PWM from here on), you should be on the website that you want to log in to. The PWM will give you the option to save the domain that you're logging in to. That means the PWM will remember the correct URL for your Tumblr login so when you go to the tumblr login screen in the future, it will offer to fill those fields. What it will NOT do is offer to fill those fields if someone sends you an email that spoofs tumblr support and wants you to log in at "tumblr.co" or "tumblr-support.com." Knowing this, and knowing that you should be putting your credentials in through the PWM fill option rather than copy/paste, is a GREAT way to protect against phishing that is often overlooked and definitely under-discussed.
Another advantage is that a standalone PWM will let you store secure notes with your passwords so that you can do things like keep track of recovery codes for the website, or generate gibberish answers to security questions. Security questions and answers are often revealed in breaches, can't be reset by the user as easily as a password, are repeated across websites MUCH more than passwords, and can be used to take over an account and reset the password. You shouldn't be giving real security answers, or even fake-but-repeated security answers; you should treat each of those like a password that needs to be complex and unique, which means that they need to be stored someplace (like a password manager).
I also personally use my password manager to store my car insurance information, my driver's license info, and payment details for easy entry, making it convenient for a lot of thing beyond password storage. (Bitwarden. My password manager is bitwarden. I recommend Bitwarden. go to ms-demeanor.com and search "bitwarden" to learn more.)
As to how they keep your passwords safe, aside from ensuring that you don't enter your credentials into a skimming site, a good password manager is well encrypted. Your password safe should be functionally impossible to crack and what people tend to not realize is that a proper password manager (like bitwarden) doesn't keep all your passwords in one encrypted safe, each one of your passwords is in its own encrypted safe. If someone hacks Bitwarden it's not like using a huge amount of effort breaking into a bank vault and finding a big pile of money, it's like using a huge amount of effort breaking into a bank vault and finding a big pile of bank vaults. Each password within your vault requires decryption that is functionally impossible to crack (at least with a good password manager, like bitwarden, the password manager I recommend and think that people should use).
Additionally, just as, like, a side note: password managers never accidentally leave caps lock on or forget which characters are capital or lower case and don't require the use of two hands and focused attention on the keyboard. You're never going to mistype your password if the password manager is filling it, and you would not believe the number of people we support at work who require password resets because they are typing their password wrong and don't realize it.
TL;DR:
Password managers make better passwords than you can and they make it possible to instantly create, store, and enter complex passwords, which prevents password cracking and makes people less likely to reuse passwords. They are heavily encrypted and should be functionally impossible to access, and each individual password within the manager should also be encrypted if you use a good password manager. Password managers also prevent people from entering their credentials on scam sites by only filling on matched domains. Standalone password managers (not browser password managers) also allow users to create and store unique security questions and account details to prevent bad actors from gaining access with stolen security answers. The password manager I recommend is Bitwarden.
If people used password managers to create, store, and use unique and complex passwords, and if they did regular backups of their system I think that probably about half of the InfoSec field would be out of a job.
Please use a password manager!
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zhelin-thames · 5 months ago
Text
Bruce has another kid........but this one is not adopted
It started with a mission. Bruce had caught wind of strange paranormal disturbances in a small town called Amity Park. Reports of “ghost sightings” and a local teen hero known as “Danny Phantom” had reached the Batcomputer. Most dismissed it as urban legends or a publicity stunt, but Bruce wasn’t one to ignore a potential threat—especially when these sightings coincided with spikes in dimensional energy readings.
Taking Tim and Damian along, Bruce decided to investigate.
The Bat-plane landed under cover of night just outside Amity Park. The small, seemingly ordinary town was eerily quiet. The only sounds were the hum of streetlights and the occasional echo of a distant, unnatural wail.
“This place is giving me... weird vibes,” Tim muttered, adjusting his tech-enhanced goggles.
“Focus, Drake,” Damian snapped. “We are not here for your feelings.”
Tim rolled his eyes but stayed silent as they followed Bruce toward the FentonWorks lab, the epicenter of the disturbances according to their data.
As they approached the lab, the trio suddenly heard a commotion. A glowing, green figure phased through a wall, yelling back at someone inside.
“I told you, Skulker, I’m not in the mood for another ‘hunt’ today!” Danny Phantom shouted, blasting the air with an ectoplasmic beam that sent a mechanical ghost retreating through the night sky.
The Bat-family froze.
“That’s him,” Bruce said quietly, narrowing his eyes. “Danny Phantom.”
Tim activated his scanner. “Readings are off the charts. His energy signatures are unlike anything I’ve seen. Definitely not human... or entirely human.”
Danny turned mid-air, his glowing green eyes locking onto the trio of vigilantes below. His gaze lingered on Damian for a fraction of a second before he floated down, his posture wary but non-threatening.
“And you guys are...?” Danny asked, crossing his arms.
“Batman,” Bruce said, stepping forward. “We’re here to investigate the unusual phenomena in this town. That includes you.”
“Great. Another set of people thinking I’m some kind of freak,” Danny muttered under his breath before straightening up. “Look, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I’m just trying to keep the ghost attacks in check. So unless you’re here to help, maybe stay out of my way?”
As the conversation continued, Bruce noticed something odd about Danny. There was something familiar in his facial structure, his stance, even his voice. It was faint, but undeniable.
Later, under the guise of investigating the Fenton lab, Bruce covertly collected a sample of Danny’s DNA—left behind on a napkin when Danny had grabbed a snack.
Back at the Batcave, the results left him stunned.
Bruce returned to Amity Park and requested to speak with Danny privately. Intrigued—and maybe a little suspicious—Danny agreed, letting Bruce lead him to the Bat-plane.
When they arrived at Wayne Manor, Alfred greeted them with his usual calm demeanor. “Master Bruce, your guest?”
Danny raised an eyebrow. “Fancy place. What is this, a billionaire’s bat-cave?”
Bruce didn’t respond, leading Danny to the Batcave below.
Once there, Bruce revealed the DNA results.
“Daniel,” he began, his tone as measured as ever, “you’re my son.”
Danny blinked. Then blinked again. “I’m sorry, what?”
Bruce explained how Talia had kept Damian a secret and revealed that she’d also been pregnant with twins. After Damian’s birth, Talia claimed Danny had been stillborn. In truth, the League of Assassins had stolen him for an experiment, intending to use him as a vessel for Ra’s al Ghul’s essence. When the experiment failed, they abandoned Danny, leaving him to be found by Jack and Maddie Fenton.
“I don’t even know where to start with that,” Danny said, pacing. “You’re telling me my entire life is some kind of League of Assassins soap opera?!”
Bruce didn’t respond, giving Danny space to process.
After a long silence, Danny turned to him. “Does Damian know?”
Bruce decided to bring Danny to the Manor to meet the rest of the family. The reactions were varied—Tim was skeptical, Jason was amused, and Alfred was quietly delighted to have another addition to the family.
But Damian’s reaction was the most intense.
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wordstome · 1 year ago
Text
how c.ai works and why it's unethical
Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.
The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)
youtube
I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.
How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].
I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.
"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."
Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.
(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)
Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:
It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.
C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.
Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.
DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.
(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)
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imaroyalmess · 4 months ago
Text
An Apprentice’s (Unofficial) Guide to House Garments
based on @energ00n 's apprentice AU! (i'm obsessed with the concept of apprentices making up garment rules)
Wc: 2.1k
The datapad—an older model with discolored spots, showing where servos touched its framing—is the first thing Orion Pax’s optics land on as he walks into his new room. Orion snatches the datapad and tilts his helm as he reads the title over again. A peek at the contents shows that it begins with Hey newbie followed by three exclamation glyphs (an overabundance of any glyph, if you asked Orion).
Orion glances up and catches his own gaze in a mirror hanging in front of him. It’s strange, seeing two sheer fabric pieces delicately flowing over the hard metal of his arms—he’s hesitant to move his arm joints in fear of tearing it. That, as well as the jewelry occupying the space where his cog would be creates a vision that’ll take some getting used to.
He pries his optics away and down to the datapad again, dermas pinching as his processor whirrs. Prima explained to him how to care for his garment personally and what if, since the datapad looks old, the data was outdated? No, safer to follow Prima’s instructions and not confuse himself.
Orion places the datapad to the side and sets off to explore his new home.
~
Hello newbie!!!
Congratulations to you and your new position! There’s so much you need to know before you get started. If you wanna make friends, then you’ll wanna keep reading, little mech!
It’s most important that you know about your House garment. No, no, not how to wash oil stains out of it (though that’s good to know!), I’m talking about the meaning behind what you do with it.
Lucky for you, I’ve compiled a list for your easy reference! Learn them well, little mech!!
DO: Wear your House garment at all times! I’ve been told it’s respectful to the Primes. Also helpful so we can tell each other apart. Usually only an apprentice’s special somebot sees them without it! Even then, maybe not.
~
D-16 has always been a stickler for the rules. It’s structure—it’s security. He can’t afford to slip up and never lets that resolve waver. So how exactly did he let pretty blue optics lure him into a cargo hold that supposedly has a passage leading into the (highly forbidden) archives? D-16 isn’t sure.
“Orion Pax,” D-16 hisses, “you idiot, there’s no way—”
Orion hushes him with a digit to his dermas and a wink. D-16 lowers his voice. “Why did you drag me into this?”
Orion pries the cover away from the passage and lowers it to the ground, a soft clank echoing. “I need you to keep watch for me, ‘kay? It’s a tight squeeze for me so you definitely wouldn’t fit.”
D-16 frowns, a retort fully prepped in his processor, but then Orion unclips his garment and D-16’s vocalizer short circuits. For a horrifying and long nanoklik, only static emits from his voice box. “Wh–Pax, what are you doing?!”
“I told you.” Orion rolls his optics. “Barely enough room in there and I can’t risk ripping my clothes up. Prima would offline me.”
He slips the sheer fabric over his helm and presents it to D-16 with splayed servos. Primus, help him. It takes D-16 exactly 1.46 kliks to reboot and shake his helm vehemently. “No? I…you want me to—”
“It’s just my garment,” Orion states, playful but also firm in a way that says I don’t have time to argue. “I’m not asking you to do anything else. Keep it safe?”
Just my garment. If Orion’s antics don’t get him expelled, his cluelessness would. However, he’s correct about one thing, and it’s that their time is running out.
D-16 half-snatches half-cradles the garment, careful not to let the ends touch the ground. With a deep intake D-16 says, “Go. Before they spot us.”
Orion grins, scrambling his way through the crawl space, leaving D-16 to listen for passing mechs. The fabric feels smooth between his digits.
~
DON’T: touch another apprentice’s attire, especially(!) without their permission. A passing touch may be an accident but deliberately grabbing is almost like a kiss!!! Don’t kiss or put your dermas on their clothing either. That has…intimate implications I won’t discuss here.
~
Orion loves watching Megatronus Prime spar with D-16. The size difference between the two could be laughable, if it weren’t for the ferocity that overtakes D-16’s faceplate and the corrections Megatronus throws out to him. Multiple times, Orion’s systems remind him to function as he watches—his friend is a vision under his Prime’s tutelage, all gritted denta, radiating optics, and arcing gauntlets.
Once satisfied, the looming Prime kneels before his apprentice and speaks lowly to him. Orion’s audials are unable to pick up what’s said but the open and hungry way D-16 receives his feedback sates him. Megatronus returns to his full height, nods to release D-16 from his training for the day and Orion perks up at the gesture.
“D!” Orion calls. His friend pads over to what’s becoming Orion’s usual spot, a barely-there smile on his dermas.
“You been waiting long?” D-16 asks, setting his practice spear against the wall.
Orion shakes his helm. A white lie—he’s been there longer than he should’ve but it’s not his fault that watching D-16 fight is so fascinating. “What were you learning today?”
D-16 dutifully launches into the intricacies of battle strategy and close-ranged combat. Orion props his helm up with his loose fist as he listens—mostly listens, at least. That task becomes difficult as the jargon grows thick and D-16’s broad servos capture Orion’s attention as they move in small motions.
An idea pops into his processor. “Why don’t you show me?”
A pause, then D-16 scoops up his practice spear, muttering, “It’ll look stupid without an opponent.”
Orion hops over the half-wall that’s been separating them and bounces over to stand in front of his friend. “I’m right here though.”
“No,” D-16 said immediately. “It’s not safe.”
“C’mon, D,” Orion teases. “I trust you.”
D-16 cycles his optics and Orion’s lopsided grin grows. “It’s not about that. You don’t know what you’re doing and even if it’s not real, I could hurt you.”
“You won’t,” Orion states, full of confidence.
“I could,” D-16 argues. “Then Prima would offline me for harming his one and only apprentice—”
Orion begins to circle D-16, close enough to reach but far enough that he could evade it. “I know what you’re doing, Pax. It’s not going to work.”
“Is it not?” Orion teases as he keeps in D-16’s blindspot, his friend calmly trying to catch sight of him again. He takes a chance while behind him, dashing out and giving the purple fabric of D-16’s House garment a good tug.
“Pax,” D-16 chastises. Yes, it’s a sparkling-like move, Orion knows and does not quite care. He does it again, giggles erupting from his vocalizer as D-16’s calmness dissipates.
Orion manages to tug at D-16’s garment twice more before D-16’s arm snaps out, captures the joint above Orion’s servos, and crowds him against the nearby wall. The yellow of D-16’s optics blaze. Orion notices how close they are, how his friend’s weight is the only thing that keeps him upright, and he grins.
D-16 growls, “Orion.” And honestly? Orion isn’t sure what’s going through his processor when his reaction to hearing D-16 say his name is to bite down on the gathered cloth by one of the gauntlets he’d been admiring earlier.
D-16 drops him. His aft hits the ground with a rough clank and Orion cries out, “hey!”
But D-16 isn’t listening. His optics are focused on the spot where Orion’s intake fluid darkened cloth’s already deep purple. D-16’s expression is horrified.
“Oh scrap, D.” Orion scrambles to his pedes. “It should go away, right? I’ve never—D! Where are you going? Wait!”
Before Orion can say another word, D-16 runs—no, sprints—out of the practice arena, leaving Orion there alone wondering what he’d done wrong.
~
DO: keep your garment clean! It’s polite and respectful, blah blah blah, you should know this. But! What you don’t know is that leaving a mark on another apprentice’s garment, accidental or not, is a serious offense! You tear it, that’s a show of disrespect to the apprentice and their House and you might have to fight them. On the other servo, if you, say, put a small decal on the cloth, you’re effectively marking that mech as your own. Same goes for intake fluid, though that just tells everyone that you and that bot are...together in a different sense. Catch my drift? 
~
“I’m sorry, D.”
“What for?”
“I don’t know but I made you upset, didn’t I?”
“...no. You didn’t.”
~
DON’T: wear another House’s garment!!! Unless you’re ready to be conjunxes. And I’m serious! It’s saying your devotion to that mech is equivalent to your devotion to your Prime. Ask yourself, little mech. Would you swear undying fealty to them? Would you choose that mech over your Prime? No? Then don’t do this.
(Okay, I might be a little overdramatic, but seriously, don’t.)
~
What fascinates Orion is how different the textiles feel from one another. He’s read about the arts and asked on multiple occasions to speak with the bot who made his House clothes because he must know more. Orion shifts the material of D-16’s garment between his digits, reveling in the weight and watching the fabric fold as he moves.
He drapes a length of it over his arm and turns to D-16, who’s dozing in and out of a light rest cycle. “Do you think purple would suit me?”
“Hm?”
Orion nudges his friend with the bend of his arm still wrapped in material. This time, D-16 rouses, even if only a little. “Your House garment, silly. How does it look?”
“Fine,” D-16 says.
“Just fine?” Orion complains. “You’re the meanest friend ever. You won’t even let me try?”
D-16 resettles his helm. “Not mean. ‘M honest.”
Orion shoves his shoulder plate, only serving to further tangle himself. “Your honesty is mean.”
“Would you prefer a more elaborate answer?”
“Not anymore,” Orion mutters. This time, he lets D-16 rest as he lays the garment over his lap and smoothes out the wrinkles he’s made. 
~
Congrats!!! Now you’re fully equipped to take on the social terrain in the House of Primes!!
In case you didn’t read all that, basically, keep to your own business and every other bot will keep to theirs. You’re lucky you have me to help you out with this because I didn't have anyone explain it to me and I broke about every rule before an apprentice told me. I was so embarrassed!!! No need to thank me though, little mech, whoever you may be. Just have fun! Be responsible! Follow these rules!!! I promise, you’ll have a better time if you do. Byeeee ;)
~
D-16 might cease to function—if he hasn’t already. On this particular solar cycle, Orion had dragged D-16 into another one of his schemes and deemed his quarters the meeting point. The door slid open, Orion welcomed him inside, and D-16’s optics landed on a datapad that made his spark drop.
That thing isn’t supposed to exist—not physically, anyway. How did it get here? How in Primus’ glory does Orion have it?!
“D?” Orion cuts through his panic.
“Have you…” D-16 can barely force his vocaliser to say the words. “Have you read it?”
Orion raises an optical ridge. Confused but fond. “Read what?”
A digit points at the datapad, though D-16 didn’t consciously give the command for it to do so. “That.”
“Oh that?” Orion ambles over to the offending object. “It was here when I moved in. Weird right? Maybe Prima put it here in case I forgot what he told me?”
D-16’s joints creak with the effort it takes to stride over and pick up the datapad. “You don’t need it though, do you?”
Please say no, D-16’s processor screams.
Orion laughs, though his confusion melds into concern as well. “No, I guess not…did you need it? You can take it, if you do.”
And D-16 then and there wishes Orion Pax had chosen a better friend, one who he deserves. Except, D-16 is also selfish and cold in ways where Orion is warm—he doesn’t wish that, in actuality. (It feels kinder to say that he does. Orion deserves kind.)
“Thanks,” D-16 says for lack of any explanation that wouldn’t be a flat-out lie.
Then Orion smiles at him, as he always does, and pats him on the chest plate, right next to his empty cog slot, right on his garment. D-16 musters a quirk of his dermas and tucks the datapad away from Orion’s prying optics. It’s hard to feel guilty about it, when Orion seems so content and his servos make his garment so warm.
~~~
A/N: tysm for reading! i'm sorry if i got any details wrong, i read all the comics over again to make sure i got it all correct but just in case i missed something! please check out the main comic if you haven't already. the worldbuilding, writing, and art style are all stunning!
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ghostlyferrettarot · 3 months ago
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‧₊˚💼✩ ₊˚👓⊹♡Mercury in the signs and how we communicate with others ‧₊˚👓✩ ₊˚💼⊹♡
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❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️
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☕︎Mercury in Aries: Communication is quick and direct. You are not afraid to speak your mind, and you are likely to do so impulsively. Aries gives Mercury a spark of energy, which can lead to a quick mind and sincere expression. Your communication style is clear, direct, and sometimes a little aggressive, but always full of enthusiasm.
☕︎Mercury in Taurus: Practical and very concrete thoughts. Your way of communicating is slower, thoughtful, and calculated. You prefer stability and clarity in conversations, and you avoid the unnecessary. You can sometimes be somewhat stubborn in your views, but once you make a decision, you stick to it. You focus on the tangible, on what can be seen and touched.
☕︎Mercury in Gemini: Mercury is in its home! Your mind is incredibly agile and curious. You speak quickly, love to learn, and never tire of sharing ideas. You can jump from one topic to another with ease, which can sometimes make it difficult for others to follow, but you always have interesting information and fresh points of view. You are the best at having dynamic and fun conversations.
☕︎Mercury in Cancer: Emotional and deep communication. You have a great ability to sense the emotions of others and express them in a sincere way. Your words are often protective and caring, as you care a lot about how others feel. You can be a little more reserved when communicating, but when you do open up, you do so in a way that touches the hearts of those around you.
☕︎Mercury in Leo: Creative and enthusiastic expression. You have a warm, passionate, and often dramatic way of speaking. You love being the center of attention, and your words tend to shine. For you, communicating is a way of showing your confidence and individuality, and you are not afraid to share your opinions with great confidence.
☕︎Mercury in Virgo: A meticulous and analytical mind. You are detail-oriented and precise in your thoughts and words. You prefer to explain things clearly and logically, with a practical approach. You can sometimes be a bit critical or perfectionist with what you say, but you do this to make sure everything is well-founded. For you, fluid communication is full of useful data and details.
☕︎Mercury in Libra: Diplomatic and balanced communication. You have the ability to see all perspectives of a situation before speaking and prefer to keep the peace in conversations. You have a gift for public relations and making others feel comfortable. Your way of expressing yourself is very considerate and focused on the well-being of others.
☕︎Mercury in Scorpio: Intense, deep and penetrating communication. You love to get to the bottom of things, and you are not afraid to address complicated or secret subjects. You are an excellent conversationalist when it comes to discussing deep and mysterious topics. Sincerity is very important to you, and you can be very persuasive with your words, as you know how to read between the lines and pick up on what is not being said.
☕︎Mercury in Sagittarius: Expansive and philosophical thinking. You are an optimistic, enthusiastic communicator full of ideas. Sometimes you can be a bit direct or even somewhat reckless with your words, as you care a lot about expressing your opinions honestly. You always seek the truth and love to debate philosophical, spiritual or intellectual topics.
☕︎Mercury in Capricorn: Serious, responsible and witty communication. You are very organized in your way of thinking and prefer structured and to-the-point communication. Sometimes you can be reserved or even somewhat pessimistic, but your realistic approach and ability to understand practical details make your words clear and effective. Your way of communicating is serious and mature, which inspires respect.
☕︎Mercury in Aquarius: Your way of communicating is super original and full of new ideas. You love to think differently, break the mold, and talk about things that most people avoid. Sometimes, you may seem a little distant or lacking emotional connection, but that's because your head is always focused on ideas and logic, rather than feelings. Your mind is like a kaleidoscope, always seeing new possibilities and relationships between things that others don't even notice.
☕︎Mercury in Pisces: You are one of those who communicate in a very intuitive and empathetic way. You tend to see the world from your emotions and your imagination, which makes your thoughts sometimes a little difficult to express clearly. That happens because your mind is connected on a much deeper level. You prefer poetry to hard data and what really inspires you is creativity. You are excellent at giving emotional advice or helping others through intuition.
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c-official · 1 month ago
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How can i say no to a :3 request. Basically a Fibonacci heap is a super Priority queue. It supports the following operations
Insert: Insert a number in O(1) time.
GetMin: Get the lowest number in he heap in O(1) time.
DeleteMin: Remove the lowest number in the heap in amortized O(log(n)) time. Here n refers to the amount of values in the heap.
DecreaseKey: Decrease one of the values in the heap in amortized O(1) time.
Merge: Merge two Fibonacci heaps in O(1) time.
Now for the implementation. The heap is stored as a collection of rooted trees such that child notes hold larger values than their parent, and the heap also keeps track of which root has the lowest value.
Insert: To insert a value simply add a new tree of one element and update the pointer to the lowest root if necessary. This is clearly constant time.
GetMin: We already have a pointer to the root with the lowest value so just return that value. This is clearly also constant time.
Merge: Simply merge the collections of roots from the two heaps and set the pointer to the lowest root to the lowest of the two lowest roots. This can be done in constant time if the collections of roots are stored as circular doubly linked lists.
DeleteMin: First remove the lowest root and add its children as new roots. Now this is where things get interesting. Establish a hashmap. Now scan through the roots and put them in the hashmap by their degree(aka the amount of children they have). If their is already a node with the same degree merge that node with the current one by adding the one with the highest value as a child of the other. By the end of this process the highest degree of root node should be higher or equal than the amount of roots. We will write this important fact as #roots <= #maxDegree. While this scan is done find the new lowest value root. This clearly runs in O(#roots) time. This is not O(log n) as i promised but we will return to this.
DecreaseKey: Decrease the value of the desired key. If the value is still larger than the parents value all is well. Otherwise remove the node from the parent and add is as a new root. Mark the parent. If the parent is already marked do the same procedure of removing the parent, adding it as a new root at mark its parent. Do not mark the parent if it is a root and remove the mark when making a node a new root. This way a root will never be marked.
The whole marked thing sounds complicated but the only thing it does is keeping the restriction that no non root node can have removed more that one child. This is again not constant time and can run in O(#maxDepth) if the nodes parent is marked, the parent's parent is marked and so on up to a root.
This will be a good place to explain what amortized running time is. The point is that we will not consider the worst case, but the worst case average of a series of instructions. So lets keep track of some potential work. Now when you make a DecreaseKey add a token that represents some constant time work you could do now to a pile. As we mark at most one node per operation we know that #potentialWorkDone >= #markedNodes. Now that we know this, each time we move a marked node to be a new root instead of counting the time that took discard one token of potential work. We still unmark the node so the previous inequality still holds. This we will always have a token of potential work when moving a marked node to be a new node. So on each operation we did some constant time work and some constant time potential work. This is amortized O(1).
Now it is just the DeleteMin runtime that needs to be explained and why fibonacci numbers are relevant.
Instaed of looking at #roots. Lets write #roots = #coreRoots+#extraRoots where a core root is a root left after a DeleteMin operation. Thus it is always true that #coreRoots<=#maxDegree. Now we can do the same trick. Each time we add a new root from Insert or DecreaseKey add a token of potential work and each time we handle an extra root in the DeleteMin operation remove a token of potential work. Thus after each DeleteMin operation no tokens of potential work and no extra roots are left. Now DeleteMin runs in amortized O(#coreRoots)=O(#maxDegree) time.
So why is #maxDegre=O(log(n)). The main claim is that given a tree with a root of degree d then the amount of nodes in that tree is at least F_d the d'th Fibonacci number.
To prove this the Fibonacci numbers are screaming to do it inductively. So for a degree 0 tree the minimum amount of nodes is clearly the one node. A degree 1 tree has per definition a child and thus has at least 2 nodes. Now assume that the minimum tree with a root of degree m has at least F_m nodes for all m less than some n. Now look at a tree where the root has degree n. The newest node got added to the tree when it had at least n-1 nodes and because we only merge trees of the same root degree the newest root must have degree at least n-2 because it could have lost a child. Thus the newest child's subtree has at leas size F_(n-2) and before the newest child was added the tree must have had at least F_(n-1) nodes. Thus the tree now has at least size F_(n-2)+F_(n-1)=F_n proving the claim.
But because the Fibonacci numbers grow exponentially we get that #maxDegre=O(log(n)). Pure magic!
Side note, this can not get any quicker. If it could we could sort a list by adding all of our values to our data structure and then running GetMin and DeleteMin until it is empty which would result in less that O(n log n) operations if DeleteMin was quicker than O(log n) and the other operations where constant time.
A better explanation with animations can be found here. And also general shout out to that video for introducing me to the subject.
I just discovered fibonachi heaps! That is some top tier stuff and has left me craving my next big hit. So please, i am in dire need off beutifull algorithms and datastructures.
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official-linguistics-post · 5 months ago
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on reconstruction and historical linguistics
to follow up on today's reblog, i want to comment briefly on the apparent misapprehension that linguistic reconstruction is just guesswork with a fancy name, because that's not accurate!
reconstruction is based on specific, well-attested constraints of linguistic development. we know from centuries of investigation that languages tend to change in predictable ways. we also have a decent understanding of the complexities introduced by phenomena like language contact, which can result in borrowing on multiple structural levels. our methods are well established and borne out by evidence.
comparative reconstruction involves applying these known constraints ("rules") in reverse on a collected body of words in related descendant languages. when possible, we also incorporate historical written evidence, which often provides midpoint references for changes in progress. it is always recognized by historical linguists that reconstruction can be imperfect; we cannot know what information has been lost.
the results of reconstruction can be mixed, but i'll let campbell (2013:144) explain:
How Realistic are Reconstructed Proto-languages? The success of any given reconstruction depends on the material at hand to work with and the ability of the comparative linguist to figure out what happened in the history of the languages being compared. In cases where the daughter languages preserve clear evidence of what the parent language had, a reconstruction can be very successful, matching closely the actual spoken ancestral language from which the compared daughters descend. However, there are many cases in which all the daughters lose or merge formerly contrasting sounds or eliminate earlier alternations through analogy, or lose morphological categories due to changes of various sorts. We cannot recover things about the proto-language via the comparative method if the daughters simply do not preserve evidence of them. In cases where the evidence is severely limited or unclear, we often make mistakes. We make the best inferences we can based on the evidence available and on everything we know about the nature of human languages and linguistic change. We do the best we can with what we have to work with. Often the results are very good; sometimes they are less complete. In general, the longer in the past the proto-language split up, the more linguistic changes will have accumulated and the more difficult it becomes to reconstruct with full success. (emphasis mine)
or, to quote labov's (1982:20) pithier if less optimistic approach:
Historical linguistics may be characterized as the art of making the best use of bad data, in the sense that the fragments of the literary record that remain are the results of historical accidents beyond the control of the investigator.
in sum, historical linguists are very realistic about what we can achieve, but the confidence we do have is genuinely well earned, because linguistics is a scientific field and we treat our investigations with rigor.
---
Campbell, Lyle. 2013. Historical Linguistics: An Introduction. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
Labov, William. 1982. "Building on Empirical Foundations." In Perspectives on Historical Linguistics. Winifred P. Lehmann and Yakov Malkiel, eds. Pp. 17-92. Amsterdam: John Benjamins.
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luv4arinn · 2 months ago
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I Just Wanna Feel
Author’s Note: So—sorry for not posting in weeks, but I had a massive writer’s block, and well… I’m back! I was heavily inspired by THAT Robbie Williams song. Yes, I watched his biopic. Yes, I cried. Yes, I recommend it. And… surprise?! There will be a whole chronology with the others, all themed around Robbie’s songs! Yayy <3!! Consider it a gift? from me for taking so long 🥺. Love you all.
Pairing: Bayverse!Donnie x female reader
Tags: Intense fluff, nerd having an emotional crisis, extreme overthinking, unexpected kisses, Donatello’s mental breakdown, romantic panic, “oh no I messed up” but in HD, happy ending.
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The sound of the keyboard echoed through the room—a rhythmic, steady tapping that blended with the low hum of the monitors. The bluish glow from the screens cast irregular shadows across his face, reflecting off the lenses of his glasses with every line of code appearing and disappearing on the monitor.
Donatello was there, as always.
The work was easy. Thinking was easy.
It was like a well-structured algorithm: receive information, process it, execute a plan of action. The world had rules, patterns, probabilities—formulas that predicted outcomes with near-absolute precision. No matter how chaotic a situation seemed, there was always a logical solution waiting to be uncovered.
Computers don’t lie.
Data has no biases, no whims. It doesn’t suffer irrational fluctuations. It doesn’t beat faster without reason. It doesn’t have to remind itself to breathe.
But then…
There’s you.
And everything falls apart.
Not immediately. Not like a fatal error shutting down the system in the blink of an eye. It’s more subtle. Like an unexpected variable in an equation that had, until now, been perfect. Something that doesn’t fit into the rigid structure of his world—but something he can’t ignore either.
He thinks about it often. About how his brain operates like a well-calibrated machine, each thought clicking into the next like the teeth of a moving gear. Logic is his native language. Reason, his compass.
And yet, when it comes to you, all that logic becomes blurred.
The gears grind.
The code becomes erratic.
The equation fills with unknowns.
Because when you step into his space, when your voice disrupts the steady rhythm of his keyboard, when you lean over his desk without a second thought for the scattered circuits and switch off his monitor without warning…
His first instinct is to think. Analyze. Quantify.
What does this mean?
Why does his heart react this way?
Why does his skin register the shift in temperature more intensely when you’re near?
But thinking doesn’t give him answers.
Feeling does.
And that is terrifying.
Because feeling isn’t predictable. Feeling has no neatly arranged lines of code, no graphs to chart behavioral patterns, no equations with exact solutions.
Emotions, in themselves, are a chaotic system.
And you…
You are the anomaly he still doesn’t know how to decode.
Nights shouldn’t feel this short when spent alone in front of a screen. And yet, when his mind drifts to the memory of a laugh, the fleeting image of a glance, the echo of an accidental touch… time dissolves in a way not even quantum physics could explain.
When he feels the weight of his name on your tongue. Like an access key to a system he never thought anyone would try to hack.
And he watches you from the corner of his eye as you lean closer, and in that instant, every variable in his mind shifts. Every equation rewrites itself.
A shiver runs down his shell.
Feeling.
He knows because his chest tightens with an undefined pressure, a sensation he can’t attribute to any specific physiological variable. His heart rate isn’t elevated from exertion. He’s not under attack. He’s not in danger.
So why does his body react as if he is?
There’s no equation to explain this.
Because if there were, he would have solved it long ago. He would have identified the problem, broken it down into its components, eliminated any errors. But every time he thinks he’s close to an answer, another unknown appears, shifting all previous solutions out of place.
Music filters through his headphones, slow and melancholic.
“I just wanna feel, real love…”
A shiver runs down his spine.
His body reacts to the sound before his mind does. It’s absurd. It’s ridiculous. There is no logical reason why a progression of chords and a set of words arranged in a certain way should have this effect on him.
And yet, here he is.
Fingers hovering over the keyboard, motionless—caught between the instinct to keep working and the strange, undeniable realization that… he can’t.
Not because he’s tired.
Not because he lacks information.
Not because there’s a problem that requires more processing.
But because, for the first time in a long time, the data isn’t the most important thing.
The screen flickers with information he should be absorbing, but he isn’t. His glasses reflect numbers and graphs that would normally hold his full attention, but his gaze is empty, unfocused.
The room remains unchanged—draped in shadows, illuminated only by the bluish glow of his monitors and the faint blinking of LED lights from his equipment.
The mission had been difficult. The margin of error had been higher than he liked to admit.
It wasn’t often that his calculations failed.
But sometimes, calculations weren’t enough.
Sometimes, reality simply… refused to adhere to logic.
“Feel the home that I live in…”
His jaw tightens.
He doesn’t know how that song ended up on his playlist.
But he has a reasonable theory.
One that involves Mikey, his blatant disregard for personal privacy, and his insistent need to “help him connect with his emotions.”
(Sure. Right.)
And yet…
The lyrics hit him harder than he’d like to admit.
It’s not the melody itself. It’s not the chords or the rhythm. It’s the way the words seem to slip through the cracks in his mind, seeping into the spaces that logic has never quite managed to seal shut.
“I just wanna feel, real love…”
Donnie exhales slowly, his fingers still hovering over the keyboard, motionless.
He thinks about the battle.
The mistakes.
The risks they took.
Numbers flash through his mind like a simulation running in reverse—impact probability, the margin of error in his calculations, the reaction speed needed to avoid damage. Fractions of a second where the difference between victory and absolute disaster depended on decisions made under pressure.
But more than anything—he thinks about you.
He thinks about the way, at the end of the fight, you rushed to check if he was okay.
About how, without even thinking, your hands—warm, alive—ran along his arm, searching for injuries he had already identified and dismissed milliseconds before with his visor.
He could have told you it wasn’t necessary.
That he was unharmed.
That he had concrete data to prove it.
But he didn’t.
Because logic dictates that worry should be extinguished by facts.
But feeling…
Feeling dictates that your touch lingers, even after you’ve gone.
That the sensation of your skin against his stays beyond his capacity for reasoning.
That the light pressure of your fingers on his forearm still burns in his memory, like an unsolved equation looping endlessly in his mind.
“Come and hold my hand…”
Donnie closes his eyes.
He could turn the song off.
He could erase the anomaly from his system.
He could rewrite the equation, adjust the variables, find a way to rationalize what he feels.
But… he doesn’t want to.
Because for the first time in his life, the result of a problem doesn’t matter as much as the unknown.
He doesn’t just want to think.
He wants to feel.
He wants to understand why being with you feels like the only constant that truly matters.
And then—you arrive.
Without warning, without fanfare, without the slightest idea that the world inside Donatello’s mind is teetering on the edge of a collapse even he can’t explain.
The lab door slides open smoothly—barely a whisper against the silence, thick with static electricity and the faint murmur of music in his headphones.
He notices everything.
The shift in air pressure.
The sound of your footsteps, softened against the floor.
The faint scent of shampoo and fabric laced with the chill of the night.
The way the temperature in the room rises by just a fraction of a degree when you step inside.
But he doesn’t turn around immediately.
Because he doesn’t know what to do with the anomaly that you are in his equation.
He doesn’t know where to place you within the rigid parameters of his logical, structured world.
His operating system slows, his brain—so used to processing information with the precision of a surgeon—stalls in an endless loop, searching for a resolution that refuses to exist.
And then—your voice.
“Donnie?”
Soft. Not because you’re hesitant, but because you know him. Because somehow—through a method he can’t quantify—you can read the tension in his shoulders. You can see the way his fingers have stopped typing, even though the screen is still waiting for input.
He closes his eyes for just a moment, as if that alone might be enough to reboot him, to restore the control that feels like it’s slipping through his fingers.
He knows he should say something.
He knows he should act normal.
But his normal means efficiency, speed, precise answers delivered at the exact right moment.
And right now, every command in his mind is failing.
You watch him with quiet curiosity, tilting just slightly toward him—just enough for the air between you to feel heavier, more tangible.
“Everything okay?” you ask, voice soft in that way that completely disarms him. Then your gaze sharpens slightly, scanning him with quiet scrutiny. “Are you hurt?”
He doesn’t answer immediately.
Instead, he looks at you.
His mind runs an automatic analysis of your expression—eyes slightly narrowed, lips barely pressed together, the faintest crease in your right brow, as if you’re already calculating the probability that he’s lying.
Logic dictates that he should reassure you with data. That he should tell you his visor has already run a full diagnostic scan and that his physical condition is optimal. That there is no rational reason for concern.
But then his gaze drops.
And he sees his own hand, still resting on the desk—still tense.
And for the first time in a long time, he chooses to do something without overthinking it.
He looks at you again.
His throat feels dry. Without realizing it, he wets his lips—a quick flick of his tongue over skin cracked from hours without proper hydration.
Then, in a voice so quiet it barely sounds like his own, he asks:
“Can I… hold your hand?”
It’s not the kind of question anyone would expect from him.
And he knows it.
Because it doesn’t fit his usual patterns. It’s not something that makes sense in any logical context.
But right now, logic is utterly useless to him.
Your lashes flutter in subtle surprise, as if the words take a few extra seconds to fully register.
“What?”
His instincts scream at him to backtrack, to rephrase, to find a way to explain what even he doesn’t fully understand.
But he doesn’t.
“I want to…” He inhales, trying to reorganize his thoughts. “I mean, just—”
He shuts his eyes for a second, frustration flickering across his face. He has never felt this clumsy with words before.
When he opens them again, you’re still there. You haven’t moved. You haven’t looked away.
And somehow, that alone gives him the courage he’s lacking.
“I just… want to feel it.”
The truth escapes him so easily, so quietly, that it almost embarrasses him.
Your expression shifts.
It’s not amusement.
It’s not rejection.
It’s something softer. More intimate.
And without questioning it—without hesitation or unnecessary words—you let your hand slide over his.
Not hurriedly.
Not hesitantly.
Just with the quiet certainty of someone who understands exactly what he’s asking for.
And when your fingers intertwine with his, Donnie feels every equation, every algorithm, every carefully structured rule in his mind… simply dissolve.
As if they had never really mattered in the first place.
“Well?” you ask, your voice carrying a faint attempt at lightness.
Donnie knows you’re trying to sound casual, that you’re masking your uncertainty behind a relaxed tone. But he notices.
He notices the delicate dusting of pink on your cheeks, the almost imperceptible tremor in your lower lip, the way your thumb brushes against the back of his hand—like you’re adjusting to the contact just as much as he is.
And something inside him… softens.
His lips curve, at first unconsciously—a smile, small and barely formed. Then, from deep in his chest, a quiet laugh escapes, unbidden and genuine, as weightless as the air after a storm.
It’s not mockery. It’s not disbelief.
It’s something purer. Something real.
—Nothing, —he murmurs, his thumb moving awkwardly against your skin— Just… this is nice.
The confession catches him off guard.
Because he hadn’t planned it.
Because he hadn’t filtered it through his logic before speaking.
Because it simply happened.
And then, you look at each other.
Maybe for too long.
Maybe just long enough for the world around you to blur into a distant murmur, as if nothing else exists except the space you occupy together.
He finds himself mesmerized by you.
Fascinated.
But not in the way he is fascinated by a new equation, by an unexpected pattern in the data, by the perfect symmetry of a well-designed structure.
This is different.
This is raw.
This is visceral.
This is feeling.
His other hand, trembling in a way he doesn’t understand, lifts with a slowness that borders on reverence.
And when his fingers brush against your cheek, the touch is so light it feels like an experiment in itself.
He feels.
He feels the warmth of your skin beneath his fingertips, the way it molds so effortlessly to his touch, the way your body leans ever so slightly toward him—responding to an equation he hasn’t yet written but, for the first time, doesn’t feel the need to solve.
He feels the erratic pounding of his own heart, too fast, too unsteady, as if it has forgotten its natural rhythm.
He feels the heat gathering in his chest, expanding outward like a shockwave, defying all logical explanation.
And then, he hears you sigh.
Small.
Soft.
Almost imperceptible.
But he feels it.
He feels the warmth of your breath against his skin, the subtle vibration of your exhale in the nonexistent space between you.
Feels,
feels,
feels.
As if every one of his senses—once so meticulously calibrated to process information—has now been repurposed for a single objective:
You.
Your warmth seeping into his skin.
Your quiet, rhythmic breathing.
The barely-there weight of your gaze resting on him.
The familiar scent of you, imprinting itself onto some hidden corner of his mind he never thought necessary.
Just you.
Only you.
Nothing else exists.
Nothing else matters.
And then—without thinking, without calculating, without rationalizing it into exhaustion like he always does—
he kisses you.
It’s brief. Just a brush of lips.
A moment suspended between doubt and need, between impulse and fear.
A single heartbeat contained in a single point of contact.
And then—
He hears you gasp.
His entire body locks up. Every muscle goes rigid with a tension so sharp it’s almost painful.
His brain—so efficient, so precise, so relentless in its ability to analyze every variable in a situation—enters a total shutdown.
He stares at you, eyes wide, pupils blown.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
He misread everything.
What the hell was he thinking?
You don’t see him that way.
Why would you?
Why would you ever?
Shame crashes over him like an unstoppable wave. His stomach twists, his skin burns, his heart clenches into an invisible fist that threatens to crush it from the inside out.
He pulls back, his hands loosening, his voice catching in his throat.
—Oh, God, I didn’t mean to— —he stammers, his voice cracking under the weight of his own panic. His thoughts are a mess of unsolved equations, of probabilities collapsing into a singularity of pure dread— I just… I thought it was a good moment, I—
—Yes.
Your voice cuts through his spiral.
His brain short-circuits.
—It was.
What?
His breath halts.
The air thickens, pressing in from all sides, as if the entire universe has stopped—right here, right now, in these words, in this reality he never accounted for.
And then—
You close the distance.
You are the one to bring your lips back to his.
And his mind—his brilliant, overanalyzing mind—
for the first time in his life—goes completely silent.
And he simply—feels.
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