#fuck the justice league

[nico-di-genova]

Blue Beetle is my favorite DC film I think???? Where tf did DC pull this from???? How did they have fail after fail and then create this masterpiece????

[daydreamerwonderkid]

RIP to Bruce. Can't get a single night to himself smh

[frownyalfred]

my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.

Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.

[pastelpigeonparadise]

I've seen a lot of Constantine mentoring Danny fics and prompts, and one of them had a random joke in the tags that John and clockwork had "history" and this immediately came into my brain

The justice league were sitting around the table, John Constantine sipping from his seemingly neverending flask and ignoring whatever the hell batsy was droning on about.

"Constantine" batman growled, "this is not a joke or a game, this is a potentially world-ending threat, pay attention"

"yeah, yeah, you got a ghost problem, do you even have a fuckin picture of 'em?" Ancients, whenever bats got on his high horse it was easier to go along with him, but he sure made it hard to like the fucker

Batman grunted and projected a staticy blurred photo of a young man with whispy white hair in a black Hazmat suit floating about a pond covered in transparent green blobs.

He couldn't contain his laugh as he looked at the photo "that's why you called this meeting? You think he's a world ending threat? Ha! Your little he'll spawn more of a threat than Danny"

Ok, so maybe it wasn't his best idea to provoke bats but seriously! This was a goddamn joke, kid wouldn't hurt a fly! Unless it was a ghost, but like, that's a ghost thing, fighting is how they make friends

"you mean you have met this entity?" Bats growled, tense and staring directly at john

"Yeah I've met him, he's my stepson" and oh, he /knew/ bats was gonna interrogate him to hell and back, but that stunned silence, the astonished aura? That was so fuvking worth it

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Gotham has so many rogues and most of them don’t actually cause that much trouble in the grand scheme of things, so other than the really big ones, like joker, news about Gotham rogues can get pretty muddled outside the city which leads the JL to believing that Batman and Manbat are the same person and that their colleague sometimes turns into a giant bat monster but they don’t bring it up bc they think it’s a sensitive topic

Which eventually leads to a scenario like this mid combat when they’re getting pretty desperate:

Green Lantern: I know we’re not supposed to talk about it or whatever, but it would be really helpful if you could turn into a giant bat right now, spooky

Batman, having zero context for this comment, pausing mid fight to look at Hal like he just grew a second head: What the fuck are you talking about, Jordan?

Green Lantern, suddenly much less confident: Um…you know how you…turn into a giant bat?

Batman, utterly bewildered, turning to the other members but finding that he is clearly the only one out of the loop: what is happening right now

[radiance1]

When the Justice League heard of Phantom, they believed they had to act quickly. Based on what they were told by the GIW, a branch of the government they had no knowledge of previously (Batman is working to correct that), the ghost was dangerous and extremely powerful.

A ghost that terrorized a small town that they GIW have tried-and failed- on numerous occasions to send back to the Ghost Zone. The GIW wouldn't have come to the Justice League for help if it were just that, but based on what they have claimed Phantom has achieved an inexplicable rise in power after having met with the King of ghosts himself.

If what they say is true, then ghosts could potentially invade and cause an all-out war with humanity that the Justice League would rather much avoid thank you.

Negotiations for peace or understanding have been repeatedly rejected and the GIW has been led to believe that Phantom has done something to the Fenton couple. The leading ecto-biologists in the world, years of research suddenly wiped clean off and acting much more cordial towards the ghost.

A complete 180.

So much so that you could even claim them to have been mind controlled. Which isn't outside the realm of possibility due to ghosts having an innate ability to overshadow others and control them.

Perhaps even the entire town has fallen under Phantom's control. Even another ghost, who had just been recently opposed to Phantom, has fallen under his control.

So the Justice League had to act fast.

---

Danny was fucked.

He could tell that very, very well. He still didn't have his entire new... dragon thing... under control very well, mostly sticking a half human like form. His powers were stronger yes but he couldn't really control them well.

Which is kinda why he's fucked.

Danny has never heard about the Justice League before, mostly because he had recently found out that apparently Amity Park was isolated. Like, extremely. Basically it's own little world cut off from the rest.

So when they appeared with the GIW he thought, hey, maybe they were finally changing their white suit shtick.

He didn't expect them to be extremely well-trained, have supernatural abilities or magic. Along with their usual tech well.

Yea.

Danny was fucked.

And he was very, very scared.

He's already died once but that didn't mean he wanted to die again, and he knows that he would probably be heavily experimented on if the GIW actually got their hands on him.

He was alone. He was surrounded. He was outnumbered. And he was oh, so very scared.

His family and friends had already fallen (thankfully not dead, just unconscious he thinks) and Vlad was occupied elsewhere, also fighting.

So Danny was alone.

No one would be coming to help him.

So what did he do?

He opened his mouth and did something he didn't do often. Despite that he could see that they somewhat recognized what he was about to do and tried to find cover.

Danny wasn't aiming at them.

He pulled his head back, mouth aimed at the sky.

Danny wailed.

It was waaaay more powerful than he had originally thought, so he was glad he aimed it at the sky.

As soon as it was over he felt drained, swaying on his feet and trying to use his tail to steady himself and not fall off his own claws.

They didn't know what was happening.

Danny just hoped it worked.

---

Neither the Justice League nor the GIW knew why Phantom shot one of his most powerful attacks up into the sky, but they did see the opportunity it presented.

Phantom was weak. Looking like he would fall off his own feet and fall unconscious.

They had to act quickly.

But before they could, from right where Phantom had wailed into the sky.

It cracked.

And continued to crack.

Until a large hole appeared in the sky, leading into a dimension of endless green.

The Infinite Realms.

They believed Phantom was trying to retreat.

They were wrong.

Two roars came from the portal, forcing everyone to cover their ears.

Then.

Something came out of the portal.

A long, serpentine dragon flowed out, flying around the area of the crack before descending down and around Phantom.

Then.

A giant claw grabbed onto the edge of the crack. Pushing against it until it broke, forcing the hole bigger and bigger as a much, much larger dragon stepped out. Standing protectively over the serpentine dragon and Phantom.

A large crown wrapped in flame floating about its head signified its status.

The Ghost King.

[mild-and-hammered]

So, I know the fandom (myself very included) love to talk about JLA playing fuck marry kill with Brucie Wayne as an option...but I offer an alternative. Bruce overhears a conversation between Clark, Diana, and Hal.

Clark: No I mean if we're playing, I'd fuck you Diana, obviously it would be a wonderful night--

Diana: and all the way into the morning, obviously

Clark: Obviously. And I'd marry Batman, so sorry Hal, I guess you gotta go.

Hal, outraged: Marry Bats???? Over Me???

Clark: Yeah, hello, have you seen him? No offense and all, but if you get the chance to sleep with wonder woman you kinda have to. And if I marry Batman I get sweet gadgets, nerdy banter, awful coffee, and I get to use the little ears on the cowl as handles while I bend him over the breakfast table every morning.

(plot twist, Clark totally knows Batman's there and this is his extremely weird and roundabout way of flirting)

[theaceofarrows]

The Justice League meeting Jason for the first time

Robin Jason: Come on, you egg sucking piece of gutter trash! You like pushing people around who are smaller than you? Well, I'm smaller. Try pushing me!

Lex Luthor: What did you just call me?! Egg sucking-

Robin Jason: [launches all 4ft of his feral self at Lex]

Superman: Uhh, should we help him?

Batman: [shakes his head]

[Jason running circles around Lex while mocking him]

Wonder Woman: Are you certain we shouldn't assist him?

Nightwing: Nah, don't worry he's fine. He just has a case of crime fighting zoomies to work out

[Jason, knocks Lex down after throwing as many smokebombs and batarangs as he can]

Jason: Learn your place you Mr. Clean looking B-lister lump of trash!

Everyone other than Batman and Nightwing: ...

Green Lantern: I really like this little dude! Let's keep him!

[emacrow]

Clockwork was in the middle of mentoring Danny about his Duty as High King leading him by his shoulders before he felt a awful core wrenching pain before he quite literally pulled through the afterlife and back into the living. Pt 1

Now Clockwork haven't been alive for an awful Long Long time since he was beaten and killed by his Children during his madness phase, so suddenly awakening in a sacrificial alter, the feeling of gravity weighing him down, eyes blurring, ears ringing with a loud noise that kept going badump ba dump as he was experiencing what possible the worst tremendous sensitivity overload of being brought back from the very dead and into brand new mortal flesh.

The Justice League and dark Justice were in the middle of stopping the forbidden ritual from some crazed Cultists who somehow found the skull, some of wonder women's blood, ancient artifacts of time belonging Kronos could only stood frozen in shock to see in horror and a bit of mesmerized fascination.

As the skull began to glow a ominous greenish blue glow of Magic form by blood then bones, muscle then flesh with very very long blonde hair that kept going down while the rest began quickly making a neck, a chest, arms, and the rest of the remaining of the naked body.

What the cultists didn't expect at all was Kronos's new body was a women due to the misread of a certain someone who thought the blood of the main head descendants of Greek meant wonder women and not a male descendants. Along with a much more different oopsy was the gasping little naked toddler that was looking wide eyed gasping heavily at the suddenly drag along as he being held tightly by the now Female Kronos's arms.

>> part 2

[sasswonfp]

This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

[desperatecheesecubes]

I’m fucking sobbing kids really are just like that

[sisaloofafump]

The chaos in this bodyswap...

Aquaman controlling Wonder Woman's body. Batman in Superman's. J'onn in Aquaman's. Steel/John Henry in Green Lantern/Kyle Rayner's.

Batman was actually very interesting in Superman's skin:

Body swaps with them are always just so fun.

This is JLA: Foreign Bodies, a oneshot from 1999

[frownyalfred]

I think several members of the Justice League hate the Batfamily because every one of them — every single one — has the same, Batman-esque look on their face when they know something you don’t. Which they do. Frequently. Just like the fucking Bat.

[merchantziro]

DP x DC Writing Prompt: Justice League's Totally Real Redemption Program

It has been a few months now since Vlad became a member of the Justice League.

...Alright rewind, it started after he instinctively used his powers a bit in human form during one of the Wayne's Galas. It was subtle but Masters moved someone out of the way and they "barely" avoided it (no thanks to a hint of intangibility of course) if only to continue talking business with them or coursem

Of course he should have known being technically a Metahuman in Gotham would get him on the Bat's radar. It was only a matter of time before the big bad bat himself burst into his office.

But... It happened while he was asleep and only left a business card to contact the Justice League??? They apparently wanted to recruit him???

Vlad was unsure but based on them being friendly they seemed to act like they were trying some bizarre rehabilitation program? Like they're trying to make villains into heroes by treating them well having them use their powers or skills for their side? Well based on his data on the Flashes, they seem to treat their Rogues well... Probably his idea.

Weird that they chose him first instead of one of their own rogues, but Vlad went along with it. Writing it off Danny was also being recruited by the Justice League and he suggested using him as a Guinea Pig first? Honestly he wouldn't put it past the boy.

Over time though Vlad began to see the positive effects he was having as the heroes seemed to look happy he was learning good with proud stares. It felt.... Refreshing to use his powers for good, something he remembers his past self had mocked Daniel for when they met.

...Speaking of Phantom, where was he anyway? It's been a while since he pestered Vlad?

------

Batman, on a rare occasion like this, was happy all things considered. Constantine was right about the rumors regarding a Halfa helping people and ghosts alike. A hero in his own right.

He didn't expect to find Vladimir Masters as the one he was looking for, and by chance when he saved someone with a subtle use of powers. At first suspecting Metahuman abilities he was keeping under wraps, but Constantine came by not long after asking about the feeling of the "Infinite Realms" in the area. Once he was told about ghosts, it didn't take long to find a connection back to Vlad.

After some digging they found according to legends he has been seen across history having fought what was believed to have been another like him... The only other Halfa and one appeared evil to the bone.

Batman hadn't pressed Plasmius about his past but he did make a list of the rogues in Amity Park, a town protected by the Halfa.

Including the suspected evil Halfa, he was easy enough to track down as hiding as a ghost hunter's own son and seal away into a little artifact for now. One less threat to deal with...

Even if he recognizes not all ghosts are evil, some do not deserve second chances for their crimes.

------

(Or... Justice League fucks up a teeny bit in research and recruitment, so through misunderstandings they believe Plasmius was the hero and Phantom was the villain based on past stories of their appearances and legends passed through the Ghost Zone to other mythical creatures but the story and detail become warped and faded as centuries past by.)

Meanwhile Vlad thinks this is some weird rehabilitation project and seems to be working for him as he feels good about doing good. Danny in turn may not be stuck in absolute suffering but isn't exactly having a good time due to being mistaken for the bad guy and now currently sealed away.)

[robintherobiner]

Superman meets Batman for the first time and, because of his superhearing, he can tell that the man’s heart is pounding. Gosh, the poor man must be terrified, after all he does have a rule about no metas. For a human superhero, knowing other people are much stronger must be so scary! So Superman tries his best to seem small and less overwhelming, but Batmans heart rate just keeps going up! Luckily, the man seems to be speaking normally, so maybe its not a big deal? How brave of him, ignoring his fears to help people.

After the Justice League is formed, Clark finds out about Bruce’s contingency plans, and unlike the others, he’s not surprised. He’s already such a paranoid man, but being on a team full of metas, well, Clarks shocked he’s not shaking in his boots. Bruce hides his fear so well! If it wasn’t for his super hearing, he’d never know that Bruce takes a sharp inhale every time he uses his super strength, or that the mans heart starts beating like a million times a minute whenever he enters the room.

Then one day, they’re all in the Watchtower, Bruce drops the pen he was using to write out the plan for their mission, and Clark happily picks it up. As soon as he bends down, Bruce’s heart starts beating rapidly. When he straightens back up, Clarks face is bright red and he can’t meet Bruce’s eye. Is his butt scary?!?!??!

[confessedlyfannish]

Writing Prompt #14

"You foolish, stupid child," Vlad hisses, pinning Danny to the wall. Danny's eyes turn green as he wraps both his fists around the one Vlad has clenched in his collar, his feet dangling in the air. Vlad leans in, his own eyes burning red.

"When, exactly, did you plan on telling me your biological father was Bruce Wayne?" he says furiously.

Danny's hands drop in surprise. "W-What?" he gasps.

Vlad drops him unceremoniously and he lands on the floor in a heap. Vlad claws at the air in frustration.

"Don't lie to me, boy." Vlad says, omitting his often used possessive "my" in front of "boy".

"How do you know that?" Danny asks warily, propping himself up. He watches Vlad push a shaking hand through his hair. The man looks down at him before dropping in an ungainly squat beside him.

"Of all the sperm donors, Bruce Wayne, Daniel? Really?" The man asks, despairingly.

"I didn't exactly choose him, Vlad."

"No, I suppose you didn't."

"Seriously," Danny says, watching the man rock back on his heels as a growing pit forms in his stomach. "How did you know about him?"

Vlad's mouth twists bitterly. "Because he now knows about you."

"What do you—"

"Vladdy! Danno! What are the two of you doing on the floor?" Jack flops down beside them, a tray of freshly prepared fudge in his hands. "We having a heart-to-heart boys? Let me in on this!"

"Jack," Vlad says. "If you truly want to have a heart-to-heart with your son, I suggest you tell him the real reason I've come over today."

Jack's face falls.

"Vlad," Maddie says from behind him. "Thank you for coming. We're grateful for all you've done, but I think we can handle it from here."

"Madeline," Vlad says, rushing to his feet. "I must insist—"

"And I must insist you see yourself out," Maddie smiles tightly. "You know where the door is, don't you?"

"Mads," Jack says gently, looking between the two.

"I can show him out," Danny says, getting up as well.

"That's alright, Danny," Maddie says. "Why don't you go get your sister? We need to have a talk...as a family."

Danny glances at Vlad.

"Now, Danny," Maddie says. Danny heads for the stairs, pit growing ever larger.

--

The next time they meet it is Danny who has Vlad pinned, the gaudy chandelier above him shaking with the force of his rage.

"You should've told me," Danny growls.

"I thought your parents had you informed," Vlad says, utterly unbothered by the teen cracking what is thankfully not a load-bearing wall of his mansion. "Honestly Daniel, we could throw around allegations of deception on both sides, particularly mine as I assume you've known for quite some time now, if not the entire time, about your father hmm?"

Danny's eyes flick away in an obvious tell.

"Yes, I thought as much. But rather than whinging about being blindsided, I suggest we focus our energy on the solution."

Danny drops Vlad, barely biting back a snarl when the man lands gracefully on both feet.

"Which is?" Danny asks.

"First of all, your well-meaning but frankly moronic parents seem to believe that they can make a case for your custody without the assistance of my legal team. It is in both of our best interests to dissuade them of this."

"They don't like feeling indebted, Mom in particular."

"Well, to be crude for a moment Daniel, tough shit. Yes," Vlad says in response to Danny's widening eyes, "I said it. Bruce Wayne has the best of the best on his payroll and your parent's rinky-dink attorney from the local practice won't stand a chance against Friedman & Sons. Especially once he establishes paternity."

"He can do that?" Danny asks. "I mean I'm almost eighteen, can't I just refuse?"

"The keyword here, Daniel, is almost. As in, you are not. The judge can take your wishes into consideration, but I suspect Wayne will make a case for an unsafe living environment alongside his paternity to win his petition for full custody."

"Un-unsafe living environment?" Danny sputters. Vlad eyes the boy dryly before gesturing to all of him, currently clad in silver and black hazmat. Danny drops the transformation with a wince.

"In fact, I suspect that's the main reason the man filed in the first place," Vlad continues. "Lord knows he doesn't need anymore heirs to fight over his fortune once he passes—"

"Jesus, Vlad,"

"—so I believe he did some digging and found your home to be, well, wanting. On paper, Daniel, your parents sound eccentric at best, dangerous at worst. Pull the right strings, and hospital records just fall into laps. He probably thinks he's rescuing you." Vlad sneers. "If only he knew how quick you are to spit in the face of one offering you a comfortable and wealthy home."

"Fuck off," Danny says. "Is that what this is about? If you can't have me, no one can?"

Vlad rolls his eyes. "Come now, Daniel. Are you really intending to keep up this pretense?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We agreed a long time ago that no matter the nature of our quarrel, we would leave the Justice League out of it," Vlad says, taking a menacing step forward. "You think I, running in the circles I do, would have no knowledge of Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?" He takes another step, voice rising. "I have avoided drawing The Batman's attention for years, no matter how often our paths crossed. I stayed under his radar for decades, and now, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM ABOUT TO BE RUINED."

With a creak and a groan, the chandelier drops, landing between them with a crash. Danny coughs from the dust as Vlad takes a heaving, calming breath.

"Then why get involved at all?" Danny asks, staring at the ground.

Vlad sighs, clapping his hands twice. Several ghosts dressed in service uniforms fly out the woodwork, gathering up bits of chandelier as others begin to mop.

"Because, little badger," Vlad says, walking away from the mess. "If we lose this, he'll have you in the palm of his hands. Which is infinitely worse."

Entering the kitchen, he pulls an open bottle of white out of the kitchen fridge and pours himself a glass, throwing a Fiji water to Danny who takes it for the peace offering it is.

"He won't."

"Won't what, Daniel? Please speak in full sentences."

"Won't have me," Danny says, letting a thin coat of frost spread over the bottle. He tips the freezing cold water into his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, mostly to see Vlad grimace.

"Why, because you'll run away if he wins? Until you turn eighteen? I won't have you fail to complete your education because of a cockamamie scheme, Daniel—"

"Because I have a solution, Vlad, one that doesn't involve the courts or running away."

"And what is that, exactly, Daniel?"

--

"You're going to leave my family alone."

"Danny," Mr. Wayne says, blinking in surprise at the boy on his doorstep and miles away from Illinois.

"I mean it," Danny says firmly. "You're going to drop your petition and whatever smear campaign you were planning on and leave the Fentons alone."

"Danny...why don't you come inside?"

Danny takes a step back from the manor's large doors. "You want a relationship with me? Brute force isn't the answer."

Bruce takes in the teenager, lanky but almost to his eye level. His eyes are clear and sharp, his demeanor forcibly calm.

"I debated whether going through the court was the right thing to do," Bruce says slowly, matching calm with calm. "But I wanted to be above board."

"Because my adoption wasn't?" Danny says, arms crossed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Kinda hard to adopt a kid that doesn't legally exist. And I know what you're going to say, the Fentons should've reported me to the system, but they didn't do it because I begged them not to. Because I didn't want my biological parents to find me."

"Danny..."

"You can swing your dick around and get your way, exactly the way I thought you would do things," Danny says, "Or you can have a relationship with me on my terms. A relationship where I don't despise you because you took me away from the people who've loved me no matter their faults."

"You're asking me to choose your happiness over your safety." Bruce says carefully.

"That's bullshit," Danny says. "I had a lab accident when I was fourteen and went directly against my parents' instructions. They trusted me, and I made a mistake."

"It's not a matter of trust. You were a child, Danny, and you almost died." Bruce says, not bothering to feign ignorance. Footsteps echo behind him.

"Bruce?" A voice calls. "Is that..?"

"Your son did die," Danny says. "He took a flight with your credit card to Ethiopia and got blown up. I bet you trusted him too."

Bruce reels back as a hand lands on his shoulder, the other on the door.

"Whoa, whoa, uh, Danny, right? I'm Tim, I'm—"

"I know who you are," Danny says, clenching his fists. Powering through the hurt he is causing. "I didn't come here to point out what a total hypocrite you are. I just want you to back off. And if you give me your number, we can text and I'll come to Gotham for Thanksgiving or the ski chalet in Vermont or your villa in where-the-fuck-ever and you can be Uncle Bruce that I maybe even tolerate being around once in a while. Just leave my family alone."

"Bruce, what is he talking about?" Tim asks. "Back off of what?"

"Your Dad is suing my parents for full custody," Danny says when it becomes clear Bruce isn't answering.

"What?" Tim hisses, turning to Bruce. "That isn't what we talked about!"

"Danny. I..."

"Here," Danny says, thrusting an index card forward that he's scrawled his phone number and email onto. On the other side is the past participle conjugation for 'venir'. "I won't answer until you drop the custody petition. Which I expect you to do by tomorrow morning."

"Done," Tim says, stepping past Bruce and taking the card. "Give me about noon to get it all squared away with the lawyers. Do you have a hotel? A way home? I'd be happy to reimburse your flight and accommodation."

"Overstepping already."

"Fair enough," Tim says coolly, raising his hands. "Our lawyers will reach out when it's settled."

"Great. Bye." Danny says, turning to leave. He waits until he hears the manor door close behind him before pulling out his cell phone.

Ring!

Ring!

"Hello?"

"It's done."

"What's done? Again, little badger, full sentences, I beg of you."