#fuck writing this was weird cause. everyone is different

[icallhimjoey]

supreme leader, would you ever write a sequel to ‘ground rules’ where our baby with joe is here and it’s just a cutesy dad!joe moment? (also wouldn’t be opposed to some smutty times as well bc i just can’t go past gotta-be-quiet-cause-the-baby’s-sleeping-but-fuck-i-want-you-right-now-new-parent-smut) heart you, as always!!

we're switching gears, everyone! sorry for the whiplash! Wordcount: 3K

---

Only Have Eyes For You

(read Ground Rules here)

Joe has yet to stop staring at her.

It’s either eyes on her, or eyes on you, and even though you’re gorgeous and make his chest swell beyond what he thought his ribs could ever manage, looking at her is different.

New.

“Will you keep an eye on her?”

“Yea, of course I will. Go get some rest, please, baby.”

It’s been over an hour, and he still needs to raise a thumb up to wipe a tear from an inner corner about every thirty seconds. For several reasons, too.

It’s been five hours since you’ve given birth, and both sets of grandparents – grandparents, that sounds so fucking wild – have left evidence of their visit all over the room. There’s balloons, cards, flowers, bags with gifts in for you and for the newborn baby girl and Joe feels like they brought too much and too little. Were there for too long but left too soon. Should’ve been there right after instead of two hours later, but also maybe should’ve come to meet the baby tomorrow instead of today.

He wants to protect and hide this little girl from the world, but also needs everyone to see how gorgeous she is.

Five-hour old baby, fast asleep in her clear plastic bed that’s been placed right next to your hospital bed where you’re asleep even faster.   

He’s got no idea how much sleep he’s gotten over this weekend. Doesn’t care, either. Just knows that he’s staring at perfection no matter which way he turns, and that the small of his lower back aches because he’s been sitting in his chair weird, but this is the only way he can both touch you and see her little face.

Her perfect little face.

Joe’s got a hand around your ankle as you lie passed out in your hospital bed, finally in what seems to be a deeper sleep rather than just a quick nap, and he wishes you could stay like that for at least the next ten hours. He knows it doesn’t work like that with a newborn, and you’re obviously in a hospital which doesn’t help, but God, you deserve to sleep for a fucking lifetime.

Everything that surrounds you looks and sounds normal, so he guesses your blood pressure must be okay, but he keeps his ears pricked, just to be sure.

The birth was a long one. Almost everything you had tried preparing for hadn’t happened in the way you’d expected, which is what everyone kept telling you was going to happen, but it was still frustrating. It did however feel very fitting with how the two of you had even gotten together.

It was a good thing you managed to pull through most of the labour with humour.

Doctors and nurses had started making jokes of you becoming permanent residents when your dilation had halted at six centimeters for ages, and in return, you had started making jokes that they were going to have to start knocking before coming in, because you knew of a way to induce the labour that Joe would feel more comfortable about if he had some privacy.

“No, no, I do not–” Joe had immediately protested the first time you’d cracked the joke, and the lack of laughter coming from him plus your weird eyebrow wiggle had only made the nurses laugh louder.

“Sorry to inform you,” the doctor said in the middle of giving you another check. “But having sex will not cause labour to begin before your body is ready for delivery.”

“It won’t?” You’d acted all heartbroken. Made Joe mutter, “Jesus Christ!” under his breath, because, you were six centimeters dilated for fuck’s sake. Of course he wasn’t going to have sex with you.

“We’re still not in labour, are we?” the doctor said, insinuating that he thought you had probably tried it at home already.

“Ask him how many times we’ve had sex...” you’d challenged immediately, making Joe groan from the corner of the room where he was sort of pacing around, facing the wall more than the room, because there was another man with fingers deep inside of your vagina, talking to you about sex.

“Can we please focus on—” Joe started, equally as embarrassed as he was humoured by you.

“Once.” You answered your own question and gestured at your stomach. “One time! All it took!”

It had become a running joke between the two of you that Joe didn’t think you were going to involve so many other people in. Joe had gotten you pregnant and then hadn’t touched you since.

Not true. There had been plenty of touching. But you were super pregnant when you’d gotten together and it never felt right for Joe to insert parts of himself into parts of you that felt like they belonged to a whole different person for the time being.

Which actually made a lot of sense to you.

It was just unfortunate that hormones had made you super horny for half the pregnancy.

Hence why it had become a running joke.

One that really annoyed Joe. You were lucky that he loved to hear you laugh and to see you smile so much.

When the two of you were left alone again, Joe scolded you through a smile and pressed kisses to your temple, because you were being funny and entertaining even though you’d just gotten bad news. Again.

Joe lovingly touched your stomach, and pressed his cheek to yours as he looked down at it and said, “You’ve made it too nice in there. She doesn’t want to come out.”

“Remember when we were like, let’s do this as friends...” you joked, but Joe could hardly focus on your light tone of voice when you grabbed hold of his bicep with a strong grip.

“Idiots.” Joe commented, finding your hand and covering it with his.

“I think we would’ve been able to do it, but—”

“You think so?”

“Yea. I was very determined. But, this is nicer.” You smiled and made eye-contact with Joe. He was quick with a tissue, to dab at your wet eyes. He’d learnt to be ready for every and any emotion over the past few days; everything and anything could bring you to tears.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it.” Joe said, smiling too. “I was already sort of head over heels if I’m honest. You were determined for two, I think.”

That had made you burst into actual sobs.

The last hour of giving birth, you’d cried non-stop. A weird silent steady leaking of water from your eyes as you struggled through the delivery. Joe guessed it was the pain – had to be, because, what the fuck was even going on? How the fuck had nature decided that this was meant to be normal? But then finally, when soft baby cries filled the room, one of the nurses said, “You’re there, you’re done. Relax, we’ll take it from here.” He’d realized then that it they were tears of exhaustion over anything else.

You’d been going for hours, and then your blood pressure did something funny after the placenta got removed, so now they wanted to keep you for a bit, which was scary. But going home with a newborn sounded even scarier, if he was honest... so he wasn’t going to complain about how uncomfortable his chair was.

Or how tired he felt.

He’d been going for hours too, but his tired was different from your tired. He could feel it in his bones, sure, but it was easy to keep his eyes open. Easy to keep staring at her. Easy to do jobs whenever someone asked him to do one.

“Mum’s done. Now, dad, come here. Pay attention.” 

And he has not been able to stop paying attention yet. He’s listening to your breathing, paying close attention to the rhythm because you’re the priority after all that’s happened. Yet he can’t keep his eyes off of his baby.

There’s a baby next to your bed.

The one he watched you gave birth to.

Your baby.

His baby.

He thumbs another tear from the corner of his eye before it leaves a wet trail down his face and uses his sleeve to dry both his eyes as he pushes his nose into his elbow for a second, not letting go of your ankle.

Life is ridiculous.

He still feels emotional over seeing you scream and cry, in pain and all sweaty. You’d performed a miracle, but it was no fun to witness how difficult the whole thing was on you. Had he not already convinced you to be with him, he would have started that quest today and would’ve likely never stopped.

When he blinks his eyes back into focus, it’s to you stirring in the white sheets of your hospital bed.

He freezes.

Maybe if he holds his breath and doesn’t make a single noise, you won’t wake up. He’s not sure how easy it’ll be to fall back asleep if you pull from your unconscious state completely. He wasn’t there when it happened – had gotten hauled off to help wash and dress his baby (the tiniest clothes he’d ever seen still too big on her, he was pouring tears as he tried to put the socks on and hated how you weren’t there to see it) – but he was informed that you lost a lot of blood and needed a lot of stitching.

After going through all of that, you’d needed stitching.

Your baby had been taken to get cleaned up, and you’d told Joe to go with her. To watch her. To stay with her and to not lose her out of his sight.

He’d listened.

Knew better than to tell you no.

But then you were left on your own, and you’d needed stitching.

You can’t move without wincing now, and Joe could probably jog home if he really wanted to. How is that fair?

Joe holds his breath, and watches you stretch your spine in your sleep before you relax again.

But then suddenly, your slow movements turn jumpy as you jolt awake with a gasp. It makes Joe jump almost just as much, and he narrowly avoids your knee to his face.

He watches you wince in pain, clearly uncomfortable, but then you immediately sink back into the mattress when your eyes find the clear plastic baby bed that holds your child, and you release a relieved breath.

“My God,” Joe whispers, already humoured by what just happened. “She’s still here, calm down.”

“Sorry,” you croak, curling a hand around the edge of the hard plastic and Joe watches your knuckles go white.

“You okay?” Joe’s already up on his feet, hand on your face to wipe your hair back.

With your eyes still closed and head slumped to the side, you softly answer, “Hmm. My vagina hurts.”

“Yea, of course.” Joe nods, unable to look at you without all the sympathy in the world displayed on his forehead. “Do you need anything for the pain?”

“I need to pee, but I don’t want to. It’s already burning.”

“I’ll go get someone.”

“Please.”

Joe gets a nurse in, and he helps you get out of the bed before you’re helped over to the toilet. Not before you tell Joe to watch her. Watch the baby.

“I’ll keep an eye,” Joe says, because he’s already found it’s his new favourite thing to do. To stare at her. “Go pee.”

The door to the bathroom is left open, and Joe listens to your conversation as he does as he’s told.

It’s a lot of, “Careful, mum. Careful. Slow movements.” coming from her, and a lot of hissing in between your teeth from you. A lot of, “Is this normal?” questions coming from you, and a lot of “If you feel this, it’s probably for this reason, which is totally normal.” answers from the nurse.

Joe gets the room and the fresh new little person all to himself for a second, and he leans all the way over your bed, feet still on the floor, his head resting in both hands as he slowly blinks at what you’ve created together.

He can’t get over how you’ve made this.

Two people have just gone and accidentally made a whole new person... it’s legitimately insane, Joe thinks.

The peeing takes longer than Joe thought it would take. He doesn’t blame you for taking your time, but he hopes that you figure out how to do it without being in pain or needing any help before you get to go home.

Joe hears a shocked gasp coming from you before you softly ask, “That’s a lot of blood. Is that a lot of blood?” followed by a toilet flushing and a reassuring, “Absolutely totally normal. Don’t worry.”

Baby is still asleep. Soundly and so peacefully, small tiny nose doing a perfect job at breathing, Joe’s already so proud of her it’s stupid.

“Well done, mum! First bathroom visit!” the nurse claps her hands together and laughs when you give a sarcastic yay in faux celebration.

You’re miserable, but Joe can hear your smile through everything and it makes his heart swell even more with pride. For you. For urinating. He’s proud because you peed, what the hell.

He shares his first secret smile with his daughter. “Mummy peed!”

You get helped back into your underwear and joggers, and Joe lets his view distract him enough that he almost doesn’t hear what you ask just before you step back into the room.

“Six weeks before sex, right?”

You’re joking, but Joe hears the serious confusion when the nurse asks, “Oh, have you not been talked through—”

“We have. Don’t listen to her.” Joe interrupts, and when he looks over his shoulder to see you shuffle back over to the bed, he catches the cheeky smile you’re trying to hide.

Before he can say anything else about how he’ll have you wait twelve weeks if you keep bringing it up, he catches your eyes flash in pain, just from your small shuffling steps, and he’s up in an instant. Pushes himself from your bed and turns to place both hands under your arms to make sure you’re safe and supported.

You hold onto him like a lifeline and pause in place for a moment.

God, the labour is done. Can you have a single second without any uncomfortable sharp pulling down there? Jesus.

You don’t see how Joe and the nurse share a look over your shoulder. The nurse is smiling at him, and Joe gives her a tired shake of his head as he rolls his eyes, quietly communicating that the girl he’s chosen to have a baby with is an actual menace.

“Maybe eight weeks?” Joe carefully jokes, hoping it’ll get you to laugh and forget about how sore you’re feeling for a second. Instead you just sigh and go, “Yea, maybe.”

You’re helped back into bed by four hands, shuffle slowly into position and leave enough room for Joe to join you.

You’re sore and tired and in a weird emotional state, and it’s simply much nicer to be all of those things squeezed tightly up against him. Joe knows to curl into you with his whole body and lays an arm over your pillow for you to place your head on. It gives the both of you the perfect view of your baby.

Your baby.

You feel a flash of want for her. To have her in your arms. Against your chest. To hold and hug and keep her close. But she’s asleep and you’re not quite sure what to do when she wakes up. What if she cries and you can’t get her to stop? This is safer.

You can both just watch her.

“I’ll be back in thirty minutes,” the nurse says after checking a file, and you ask, “To help me feed her?”

The nurse smiles, says, “Yea sure, that too.” and leaves.

You make a funny face, confused, and look at Joe like you think she was being rude.

“To check on you.” Joe softly says, and your face drops immediately.

“Oh. Yea. But I feel fine, now.” your focus is barely on yourself. There’s this whole other brand new human to be worried about.

“Hmm. Okay. Think you can sneak a little more sleep before she’s back?”

“Probably not.” you say, but Joe sees how you close your eyes anyway. Feels how you carefully move your hips back a little to feel more of Joe against your body. Feels how you grab onto his arm and firmly press it into your stomach that’s still big and round, but all soft and squishy now.

“Can you try?” Joe whispers, lips touching the shell of your ear.

“Will you watch her?” you’re already sinking away. Joe’s body heat is pulling you under quicker than he’d anticipated.

“Of course I will,” Joe says, but lies, and watches you for a moment instead. You’re his priority. Thinks it’s silly how you wouldn’t accept that if he told you. “I’ll watch her.” he confirms, not lying then, because he’s talking to his daughter as he says it.

Joe watches you until he feels you drop of the deep end. Feels you relax in a way he’s not felt you relax in ages.

After a while Joe repeats, “I’ll watch her.” in a barely-there whisper before he places a barely-there kiss against your cheek as you sleep.

His gaze moves back to the small baby girl in the room, and Joe’s eyes immediately well up again.

It’s stupid how even just the sight of her feels new and unexpected again. Like he’s seeing her for the first time once more.

And he simply finds that, once again, it’s so easy to stare.

Finds he can’t stop staring.

“Yea, I’ll keep an eye,” Joe whispers to himself. Thumbs another tear from his inner corner before it can run down his face and bother you.

“I’ll keep an eye.”

---

The Taglisted

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add yourself

[pygmi-says-hi]

writing tips - sick/poisoning fics

so since you guys ate up the injury thing like holy fuck 1.5k notes in 24 hours??? hello?? I thought I'd do a semi-related one about sickness.

disclaimer because you guys thoroughly reminded me of this: medicine is fucking weird and everybody reacts differently. this is blanket statement information, not the mayo clinic. idc that 'oh my cousin had that disease and he didn't have that symptom' okay whatever like sorry but that's not the point of this post. this is just to eliminate egregious mistakes. I'm not looking into every possible way this illness will show up. chill your tits. the comments on the last post were just like. dude. chill.

aurkay so.

poison-related illness.

okay poisoning is such a cool concept and there are literally so many cool effects it can have. Idk why everyone goes with the holy trinity of hallucinations, fainting and nausea. like yeah those are good but there are so many other things???

like internal bleeding. literally the best. I love it. It's slow but hella deadly and sometimes people can't even feel it/don't know what's happening. that's such a great option for whump or some angst. like they didn't know until it was too late. gold.

also - some poisons are not dissolvable in food or drink. Like certain medicines, they lose effectiveness if digested instead of injected intravenously. obviously you don't have to know that but if you wanna get into it, do a lil bit of research. could bring up some intriguing scenarios.

infection or sepsis

yoooo. sepsis is lowkey terrifying. infections are similar to actual illness but are caused because of an unsanitary wound. lots of interesting symptoms to browse here:

fever, cramps, fainting, hallucinations, dehydration, delirium, nausea, sores, sepsis, organ failure and on and on and on.

infection happens so fast too. like forget to change a bandage once and boom it could be infected. (is that a whump opportunity I hear...?)

sepsis is like the point of no return pretty much. Unless you've got crazy medical technology, sepsis is really really bad. basically, it's when the body overreacts and starts to damage its own tissue. leading to organ failure and then eventually death. spooky.

regular illness

this just means like a virus or something. a key point of viruses is an elevated temperature and dehydration; the body's primary responses. burn the bug out and dehydrate it.

depending on the illness, symptoms will vary. respiratory infections or viruses involve congestion, coughing, sore throats, a rattly breathing sound, and productive coughing (phlegm and mucus). Stomach illnesses include cramps, nausea, dehydration, dizziness, low blood sugar, weight loss, and diarrhea. these can overlap but mostly those are the groupings.

with fevers come achy joints and sensitive skin. fever is inflammation, like mild swelling everywhere because of how intense the antibody reaction is.

dehydration sets in really quick. really bad dehydration induces dizziness, nausea, diarrhea, delirium, lethargy, and fainting. great motivation for a whumper to possibly restrict whumpee's water intake...?

just some prompts! kinda low energy today sorry I haven't been posting, xox

[necrotic-nephilim]

https://www.tumblr.com/necrotic-nephilim/761747687384252416/i-dont-care-how-much-you-hate-me-you-need-to?source=share

so i'm imagining that tim gets free

(maybe it's steph who's on the outs with tim and doesn't believe him about bruce but sure as fuck doesn't approve of whatever the hell this is or maybe it's damian who's jealous that tim is getting any so much of dick's attention despite the fact that he's the heir and robin)

regardless tim gets the fuck out of gotham and goes on his international art theft adventure to find bruce

unfortunately for everyone dick processes to lose his shit and now damian (and steph to a lesser extent) is doing for dick what tim did for bruce

also a lot of heroes are drawing parallels between this and b reaction after jason died

anyway tim gets his proof (and get saved by jason bc jason's looking at dick all "this is really creepy actually and i don't want you anywhere near tim despite how bad our relationship is")

tim then goes to green arrow with his proof because he knows that man would call dick out no matter what costume he's wearing and he actually does an ok job with all the kids he picks up

there's a jla meeting and dick sees tim and is just as unstable as tim guessed he would be and it's pinging everyone's radar as A Problem now

but obviously they get bruce back and no this is his problem bc literally everyone in the league is like "pls keep dick away from tim, his behavior has passed weird and gone into extremely unsettling"

i can't see what happens next bc i can't imagine bruce actually being help but i can see him being a disaster when he tries and that would be funny

this is SO good anon i love all of these things based on that fic so much aaaa

personally when i was writing it, i imagined Jason being the one to break Tim free. not out of wanting to save Tim or anything, but more so seeing it as a chance to make Tim owe him, and just to fuck with Dick. Jason will cause problems because He Can, and while i don't think he would particularly care for the moral implications of Dick holding Tim hostage (Jason was morally all over the place during Dick's Batman era i fear) he's just morbidly curious. that said the idea of Steph being the one to do so is also fun, because for her it *would* be the moral issue as well as caring about Tim. i think the most fun option is somewhere in the middle, where Jason and Steph are forced to team up, each with different end goals and not trusting each other whatsoever. so when they succeed and get Tim safely out of Dick's hold, there's a deep disagreement and slight scuffle over what to do now, Jason trying to manipulate Tim further against Dick and onto his side, whereas Steph is just prioritizing Tim's safety. i think it's fun if Tim is slightly mentally broken, just from how long he was held captive and the realization of Dick's feelings at the end fo the fic. so he's distrusting of anyone he's once trusted, even Steph, that he just slips away to focus on getting Bruce back, leaving both Jason and Steph trying to chase Tim. and course, Dick.

because Dick would of course try to get Tim back, again and again. Damian is trying to reel Dick back, just because he wants Dick's attention and he does sort of believe they should focus on Gotham. and then Steph is also trying to distract Dick to protect Tim. so everyone's tail spinning in the most complicated game of cat and mouse. Steph and Damian are forced on the same side, trying to get Dick to focus on Gotham instead of Tim, just for now. Steph is promising to keep an eye on Tim, Damian is insisting Gotham needs Dick's attention and combined, they're able to at least keep his immediate focus away from Tim, giving Tim time to find his proof. Jason having to save him is just *fun*, because it reinforces how sort of helpless Tim is. he's not up on his training and his become soft and with Dick's need to catch up to him eventually, it puts him in a vulnerable spot he would *hate.* he'd despise needing to be saved by Jason of all people. it'd fuck him up so bad, because all the bad things Jason is saying about Dick are technically true and somehow, the world is so flipped upside down that Jason is the reasonable one. i think it'd make Tim isolate more and more, distancing himself from the Batfamily, even the ones he should trust like Steph. sure, he's on the outs with her (likely still upset from the Search For A Hero arc) but she's looking out for him. and maybe he knows it, deep down, but Tim is just terrified of trusting anyone associated with the Bat name.

and since he can't go to the Batfam with his proof, him going to Oliver is *so* fun. i adore any concept where Oliver is the one to notice something is very wrong in the Batfam i swear anon it's like you're connected to my BRAIN. because sure Oliver doesn't *like* Bruce, but even Oliver knows this is fucked up. the story Tim tells him is a horrifying one. Oliver has always done right by his kids, or at least tried his best to. so to know what Dick pulled is horrifying. there's this implicit trust the entire hero community has in Nightwing that would get badly shaken up and i think that's fun. the Justice League meetings about it would be a shitshow. someone like Clark who's as close to Dick as he is would want to at least hear Dick out, try to understand his point of view. maybe Dick was in the wrong, but he had to have been doing this out of a place of concern and Tim's just twisted up about Dick's intentions. at the very least, trust in Dick is shattered but no one can agree on what to do, if they can do anything at all. it's agreed to keep TIm safe and away from Dick and long talks are had with Dick, but Dick is disturbingly good at being charming and manipulative, convincing them all he's sorry and he knows he took it too far, it's just the stress of the mantle that got to him.

and Bruce coming back would further complicate things in such fun ways. because Bruce will *always* protect and side with Dick. yes, he's worried about Tim, but he refuses to let any negative blowback hit Dick for this. because sure, Bruce would've never done that, but also, Bruce has done equally shitty things so, he's also not going to fully question it. Dick made a judgment call in the heat of the moment, and now, Bruce is going to defend his right to do so. it sends the League even more out of control, because they didn't expect Bruce to be so deeply on Dick's side. the phase "what would Bruce think?" got thrown at Dick a lot by all of them and now, well. they look a bit like fools for it because Bruce has made it clear what he thinks is that Dick had the right to make the call he thought was best as Batman. so while Dick is socially exiled, he doesn't face any *real* consequences. he's still in hero society and is respected as Nightwing and allowed to exist on the League. Dick just patiently waits for it all to blow over because eventually, there's always something more important to focus on that will make people forget about this outside of just a weird bad mistake Dick made.

and the longterm for TIm is fun. because I think he'd keep his distance from Gotham and Bludhaven, mostly keeping around Oliver, given Oliver is one of the few League members still refusing to let it all go, and it gives Tim some kind of safety net. but i think Dick would still try to pursue Tim. Dick would convince himself he just went about it the wrong way, he came on a little too strongly and he can still fix it. he keeps harassing Tim and trying to get Tim to like him back, making it clear he has no real regret for his actions. i think it's fun if Tim is forced to fake a relationship with someone else to get Dick to leave him alone. maybe Jason, maybe Steph. (honestly, this being JayTimSteph could be fun) and that fake relationship ends up developing into something more real, which would make Dick *insanely* jealous. i'm torn between Dick actually taking it too far (possibly forcing himself on Tim) or keeping his distance because both are fun. i'm partial to him forcing himself on Tim, just for the fucked up non-con that Tim has to cope with, knowing nothing he does will get Dick to leave him alone. he learns the best ways to stay safe, but it essentially kills his ability to have a vigilante career bc it puts him too out in the open. he takes a more Oracle-esque role (Tim working with the Birds of Prey could be a lot of fun) and always lives in some kind of fear of Dick catching up to him. it's so fun and fucked up that even when Tim escapes, he doesn't really and he knows it.

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

ARCHIVED - PRIVATE TRANSMISSION

DD: it was actually a spice! the idea that it was a food is a common misunderstanding! very few cities thought it was a good food by itself, and some went to the extremes that eating not as a spice was... sacrilege!

SNS: kind of drastic, it's just a spice?

DD: eh, its the ancients. pretty difficult to question anything

SNS: you're probably right on that! where'd you even dig this up, it seems... well, ancient.

DD: the ancients didnt slowly phase out the "indulgence of food" til abt... at least 3250 cycles before the discovery of void fluid?

DD: i got into an argument with someone rly far away from us... nothingness and no regrets was number name i think? number city had rly good archival practice, and num was incredibly eager to disprove the "wrong" information that i had. cant even learn anyth new these cycles without arguing over it and goading them into it

DD: but from what ive picked up, before high-quality food was largely forbidden amongst most of the cities, some ancients were rly good at... cooking? it was considered art, some even dedicated dozens of their lifetimes to it

SNS: it sounds really interesting!

EP: Nerds.

SNS: i'm not the nerd here! i'd say that that would be Doubt's Dichotomy over there. she's the one who knows all of this.

DD: >:0

DD: i WILL stip talking to you

EP: I wouldn't take a misspelled sentence seriously, if I were Songs of the Negative Sunlight!

DD: YOU TOO, THEN

EP: There, there... No need to get so worked up...

SNS: maybe stop teasing it now?

EP: You're right. Sorry, Doubt's Dichotomy.

DD: its alright!

SNS: either way, hello Echoes of a Paradox! Haven't heard from you in a couple of cycles.

EP: Sorry. Was running a specific iteration of my latest attempt. Probably should have checked in earlier.

SNS: it's alright, don't worry about it!

SNS: did you succeed?

EP: You'd have heard of it by now if I had.

SNS: you're right in that matter, indeed.

FTL: I'd think that a futile try is still better than nothing.

EP: ...Right you are.

SNS: Finely-Tuned Line! haven't heard from you in even longer.

FTL: As always, I have been running various experiments. Nothing exuberantly special or outstanding to report, in any imaginable generally applicable category.

SNS: alright. take a break sometime, maybe?

FTL: I will not be doing so. I am - we are - not designed to take breaks, I will not be doing so. If you apply other thinking to yourself, that is up to you to deal with the consequences. I'll deal with mine.

EP: I'll check in more often, Songs of the Negative Sunlight. Will be leaving for now.

SNS: okay, thank you. stay safe.

FTL: I will be doing the same. That is, exiting for the meantime. No guarantees of consistent reports from me.

SNS: affirmative. you also stay safe.

SNS: ...i suppose i'll be doing the same.

SNS: contact me in any case necessary, that's what i'm here for.

DD: GOT ANOTHER. AN ENVOY TO THE OPEN FIELDS! AND SHES GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT ZIR CITY WILLINGLY!!

DD: fianlly. no one even talks to me anymore in groups unless i use an alias

DD: ...hello?

DD: anyone?

DD: guess ill celebrate on my own.

[hiemaldesirae]

The Hazbin Graduate’s Guide to Homicide (3)

HAZBIN'S MIDSEMESTER STUDENT REPORT Student: Vox Vanhal Supervising Staff: Professor Enoch Leviathan Sponsor: Not Applicable To the Board: Vox Vanhal may be one of the most brilliant students this school has seen in decades. In all my years of teaching at Hazbin, I have never met a student more insanely ready to learn and apply their skills- due in part, of course, to said student's own possible insanity. I mean this in a jovial way, of course, but I will admit that when young Vanhal's true identity was revealed to me that my first thought was along the lines of 'is this student insane?' Whether or not my student's reason should be called into question is something myself and my fellow professor Asmodeus have discussed in length, but there is one thing that we can definitively agree on: If there is any one student in this school who I would choose to place my bets on, it would be Vox Vanhal. There is nothing more to say at this time of report evaluation. Sincerely, Professor Leviathan.

May God's blessings be with you now and at the hour of our deaths, Amen.

[ 1 ] / [ 2 ] (<- read these first for context and more murder academy radiostatic content!)

Though Alastor may have thought that Vox was much more knowledgable in how Hazbin's Institution for Homicide worked, the truth was, Vox was still fully flying on the seat of his own coattails.

He had no damn clue what he was doing still, and although it'd been two weeks since he'd arrived, part of him still felt like how he did when he'd first arrived: hesitant, scared, not knowing where to go or what to do besides the want to make his boss suffer as he killed him.

That level of animosity might sound strange to anyone not a Hazbin student or alumnus, but it was perfectly normal for any student enrolled in the academy to have such feelings. After all, there was quite a rigorous process involved in the application, and for Vox, this application process (and what led to it) was perhaps more intense than most.

There had once been a time where Vox had dreamed of becoming a Hollywood starlet, one who lit up the silver screen and was blessed by hundreds of thousands of cheering, dedicated fans who would fawn over his every move and action. He'd wanted to follow in his mother's footsteps, at one point. But after taking on his first roles in Carmine Studios, the glamour of Hollywood had shattered like fine glass.

"Miss Vesper! Would you please look over here for a second?"

"Miss Vesper, when is your next movie coming out?!"

"Miss Vesper, is it true that you and your co-star on Anna Karenina, Valentino Vega had an affair-?"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! That- fucking bastard!" Vox rushed into the privacy of his and Val's shared apartment, slamming the door behind him as he collapsed into the couch, head cradled in his hands. He couldn't even begin to start detailing the number of ways he'd wanted to fucking butcher and rip apart his boss.

Andrealphus Goetia was no stranger to the spotlight, naturally. One of Hollywood's top directors, the man had been an influential cornerstone in the history of movie-making, a real legend to light the days. But behind that picturesque platinum reputation laid a monstrous piece of shit.

It had been a complete accident that Andrealphus had found out about Vox's identity.

Vox himself hadn't even really planned out what to do about himself at that point, only that he'd known that the dresses he wore on screen were far more suited to his best friend than they were for him. Knew that the copious amounts of makeup flattened on him everyday made him feel more like a clown than a princess, that it was the most uncomfortable feeling to have to sit and play the pretty face for the audience's sake.

But he persisted, telling himself, one more year, one more year til my savings account has enough to supply Val and I with a comfortable life and we can leave.

But of course- of course Andrealphus had to ruin it for him.

The man had found out and immediately proceeded to blackmailing Vox with the information, holding things such as promotions, media gossip and rumors over his head. And now... now... Vox stared down at the script he held clutched in his hand, his knuckles turning white as he grasped it with an iron grip.

"Dieser verdammte bastard," Vox muttered under his breath.

Though he'd never loved the spotlight that came with his first taste of fame, he had loved acting. Had loved being adored for his skill, applauded for the emotions that he could evoke in crowds of people and the way he could twist people's hearts. He had wanted to be one of the best, a household name.

And now, he stared down at the script for a movie that Andrealphus knew would tank his reputation. It was absolute bullshit. The plot was held together by thin strings and a bit of glue, despite being an adaptation of one of the past decade's best selling books. Not only that, but the moment he left the safety of the apartment once more, he would also have to contend with the rumors that were steadily piling against him and dragging his loved ones and friends into it too.

All this, because Vox had refused to sleep with his shitty boss.

He could still hear the fucker's voice- come on, don't you wanna say that you got a piece of me? I'll even leave out the part about you being a transvestite, darling, just the fact that I got a piece of you is enough.

God. If only.... if only he could see that bastard's face when he crushed his fucking skull in between his hands. He wanted to see Andrealphus' stupid face contort in revulsion and terror when Vox finally did the deed, wanted to bathe in the the fotze's inbred blood. He'd do anything for the chance to just kill that piece of shit-

"Amorcito?"

Val's voice makes Vox jump on the spot, quickly shifting to hide the script from view. His friend comes around the corner, eyebrows furrowed with concern, and it's this that makes Vox break his composure, a single tear falling down his face as Val frowns, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Voxxy, amor... tell me what's wrong."

And because he can never keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend, Vox tells him everything. Val nods along, pauses at the right moments, all of that stuff that friends do when they're trying to let you know that they'd rip apart your shitty boss if not for the law.

But- and perhaps this is something that Vox knew deep down to be true anyway- Val was a bit different in that aspect. He'd met the man under... less than legal circumstances, after all, and he knew that Val was the heir to quite the illustrous cartel career.

So when Valentino stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder and hands him an application paper for Hazbin, telling him to think it through, Vox barely takes even a second glance at it before filling it out.

Now, two months later and sitting in the auditorium of Hazbin's famed Music Hall, Vox doesn't find himself regretting the decision. Sure, it's a bit lonely without Val's supporting presence by his side, but the students he's met so far have proved to be some of the friendliest people he's had the pleasure of knowing: ironic, considering the kind of school they're studying at. And he's even managed to make a friend! Not that bad a start, altogether.

Vox absentmindedly doodles on the edge of his notes as Professor Leviathan's soothing voice lectures them on the importance of a proper alibi. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, but it has an airtight alibi, it is...?"

"Not a duck," the auditorium echoes back to the professor, who nods, looking satisfied with the class's response. "So, then! The first step to alibi making is...? Miss Velvette, perhaps you'd like to answer this one for us?"

The girl sitting beside Vox shoots up in her seat, looking as if she'd just fallen asleep and was awoken by the professor's question. "Uh... the..."

After a moment of silence and stuttering, Vox takes pity on the girl, sliding Velvette over a slide of paper that she squints at before reading. "Make sure you're in a different place from the crime?"

"And how would I do that?"

"I... uh. Use an accomplice...?" Velvette stutters.

Professor Leviathan shakes his head, looking disappointed. "Not quite. One thing you will have to learn at Hazbin's is that you should never rely on any other person to carry your deed out for you. No hiring accomplices- after all, paid personnel's loyalty is shaky and they have no honor code preventing them from taking you to the police- and absolutely no committing crimes as lovers, unless you can guarantee that neither of you will be snitching. Would anyone else like to take a try?"

Vox raises his hand hesitantly. "Move the crime scene or otherwise obscure the culprit?"

Professor Leviathan snaps his fingers, "Yes! Absolutely. One of the best ways to make yourself an iron clad alibi is, if the pope is shot in the church at midnight, make sure that you are seen halfway across town in the bar at midnight; so drunk that you cannot even leave until your wife comes to pick you up at two- and no one will suspect you, even if he was actually killed right outside the pub and moved to the church instead. By moving the crime scene, you can make yourself an ironclad alibi. Obscuring the identity of the perpetrator and making it someone who couldn't possibly be you also works splendidly. After all, if the police believe the murderer to be a six foot tall adult man, then the actual perpetrator, a four foot tall young woman, would be able to pass by completely unnoticed. Thank you for that input, Vox. Now, onto the actual creation of such an alibi..."

When class ends, Vox is the first to leave his seat and head for the door, intending on leaving and getting to Track with Professor Satan as quick as possible when someone stops him in his tracks with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Hey. Vox Vanhal, right?"

"That would be me, yes," Vox turns to face the person he's talking to, only to be met with the young woman that Professor Leviathan had called out in class earlier. "You were... Velvette?"

"Yep, that's me," the chipper young woman responds. "Listen, I know you don't know me at all, but I really need to get through this school year. Like- look, okay, I'm in a little bit over my head right now. I still want to go here and do what everyone here does, of course, I'd love to just go and plunge a damn butcher's knife into my cunt of an ex-friend's neck, but... well, you saw how I did back in class- look, what I'm trying to get at is I need someone to help me. And you're like, Leviathan's star student. So- I don't care what I have to do, I'll-"

Vox holds up a hand to stop her.

"I don't need you to do anything for me, unless you've got any tips on how to kill my boss and make him suffer during it. But I'll help you with whatever you need to study during your courses. Just..." He pauses, taking a moment to think out what he's about to ask. "Could you teach me how you did your makeup on your own?"

Velvette blinks, clearly not expecting that response. She laughs, a shrill, sharp bark and grabs his hand to shake it firmly. "Yeah, 'course I can. So, do we have a deal?"

"We do," Vox smiles. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

[catwouthats]

Tolkien fans can be so bigoted that I’m always surprised whenever I open up LoTR and find that it’s a story about BIPOC coded little people saving the world from evil (with the help of an old ass little person who has DID bc of the horrors) and also a Native man getting his right to his ancestors land.

[thebibliosphere]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[ickadori]

Damn, that unwanted images fic? I can imagine sukuna constantly trying to trick Yuuji into giving Sukuna his body just for a bit so he can go seduce reader. Maybe even pop out and whisper filthy nothings whenever she passes by cause she has to know about what he wants to do to her.

[cws] fem reader. sukuna being a pervert. groping. minor scent kink activities. oral. i think this is dubcon… one big unedited ramble tbh. writing sukuna is hard!

Being around Yuji could sometimes be… tiring, to say the least.

He’s a nice guy, very nice, funny too - he’s made you laugh to tears on quite a few occasions, and he’s cute to top it all off. Everyone you spoke to always have good things to say about him, and you have to admit that you do, too—even if his preference in partners had made you raise your eyebrows when you first heard it.

So, with this in mind, you always try to ignore Sukuna and his ‘antics’, although it was getting increasingly more difficult to ignore the curse’s brazen words when they were blurted out in the midst of a silent classroom, or whenever you happened to pass by Yuji in the hallway, or even when he had managed to pin you in an innocent enough position during training.

You couldn’t count how many times you had been left with your mouth gaping and hot in the face due to the comments Sukuna threw your way. They were always crude, brash, lewd, and left you with a strange twisting feeling deep in your gut — it was weird. The words were Sukuna’s, obviously, but if you didn’t look at the mouth sprouted on Yuji’s cheek, or pay too much heed to the deep, rough drawl of the voice speaking, you could pretend that it was Yuji saying those words, and for some reason that made it all seem a tad bit better…but not by much.

You had spoken with Gojo about it, as much as you hadn’t wanted to. Talking with your past teacher about the strange obsession that the curse inhabiting your friend’s body had with you was at the very top of your list of things you absolutely never wanted to fucking do, but you had to do something.

Sukuna’s comments were getting out of hand, his most recent having kept you from venturing to the training field — you had been engaged in a spar against Maki, attempting to work on your hand to hand combat, when you had heard that unmistakeable voice, his attention fully piqued by the presence of you - and while you never liked to be full of yourself, it was common knowledge that he only made his presence so obnoxiously obvious either when you were in sight of Yuji was banging on death’s door.

At first, you had thought he was rudely critiquing you like he usually did, commenting on your speed and how you were just so slow, you’d be dead in a fight against someone who was actually strong, or one of the many other things he liked to say to get your spirits low, but no, he was in a different mood that day.

Maki had just tossed you onto the ground for the umpteenth time, and you had decided to call it quits then, desperately wanting to submerge yourself in a hot bath to try and soothe your aching body.

Yuji, who had been observing from the side and having a somewhat one-sided conversation with Inumaki, had sensed your beaten to smithereens will and hauled you up off the ground, a smile on his face as he tapped you on the shoulder and gave you a bit of encouragement, only for the good deed to immediately be overshadowed when Sukuna spoke.

You hadn’t caught it at first, or rather, you had tried to pretend that you didn’t actually hear what he had said, because there was no way in hell that you wanted to acknowledge that he, in front of all of these people, had made a comment about how your shorts were just ‘so damned snug that he could practically see your clit—do you even have on any panties?’.

He had no problem repeating himself, even throwing some new things in, things that made your ears burn and the hairs at the back of your neck raise and your stomach flutter when you took on Yuji’s sheepish expression coupled with the way his eyes kept flitting down to between your legs and off to the side.

Recounting the many tales to Gojo had been humiliating, and his amazed ooh’s and ahh’s hadn’t made it any better, but you had desperately wanted some kind of resolution to all of this. He was the strongest, after all, so surely he could do something? Muzzle him at the very least?

“I’m afraid that’s out of my capabilities—aww, don’t look at me like that, I want to help you, but there’s not much of anything I can do.” He had been wearing his blindfold as he usually did, but you were certain that had been a hint of amusement in his eyes as he spoke, as if this was some funny story and not a serious matter that required a serious resolution. “I can’t control who Sukuna takes a liking, too, even if it is one of my beloved students. As it stands, he can’t do much of anything but talk. Yuji has him under control in that aspect, so you’ll just have to grin and bear unfortunately.”

There was only so much grinning and bearing you could take — Sukuna was unrelenting. While the comments had been sparse before, they were now frequent. You couldn’t go a single day without some part of your body being commented on.

Wearing skirts earned you comments on your thighs of how soft they looked, of how they’d feel wrapped around his head as he tongued your cunt, of how he wanted to mark them up with his teeth, his hands, his nails. So you wore pants next, only for him to admire the way they hugged your ass, and oh, he sees, you’re showing off for Yuji now, ya know he’s an ass man, is that what this is? The want the brat to fuck you instead of him, a real man, a man that can make you cry and moan and cream on his cock with little to no effort?

If your shirt happened to be a bit tight that day around your breasts, you could bet your life and win that Sukuna was gonna tell you ten different ways that he would fuck them, eventually. He’d describe it in vivid detail; how your tits would look squeezed around his cock, how he’d cover them in his cum (don’t worry, he’d be considerate enough to lick it off of you, as long as you didn’t squirm too much when he latched onto your pretty nipples), how they’d bounce when he’d fuck you—and don’t make that face, he knows you like what he’s saying. You don’t? Then let Yuji reach in your panties and see if you’re wet or not. No? It’s fine, he knows you are, just too shy and prudish to admit it.

You’re careful eating consuming certain foods and drinks around him, but when he made a remark about how greedily you gulped down your water after a morning run, wondering aloud if you ‘guzzle cum down just as eagerly’, you chose to forfeit your basic human needs in his presence altogether.

It seemed like you couldn’t do anything around Yuji without it being turned into something perverse, and after much contemplation, you decided to just avoid him all together. It took a lot of detours and changes of your schedule to ensure you wouldn’t run into him, along with skipping out on hanging with your other friends because he’d be there, but you managed. It was incredibly boring and dull, and you found yourself lazing around your room more often than not, but you figured this was better than listening to the many ways Sukuna wanted to fuck you.

You’re in your room now, fingers massaging a new moisturizer into your cheeks as you only halfway pay attention to the show that’s playing on the tv. You had just gotten out of the shower, dressed in a baggy sweater that you couldn’t remember who you had snagged from, and was nearly ready to retire for the night.

A knock at your door draws your attention away from the tv, and thinking it’s more than likely Nobara come to once again lament about how pissed she is that you took a rain check on yet another outing with them (the trio had ventured out into the city earlier) you move to open it without thinking.

“If you’re here to scream at me for staying in tonight, I’m gonna need you to make it quick. My show is…” Your words die on your tongue when your eye finally clash against red ones, and there’s a lurch in your chest when Sukuna steps into your room, lips twisted into a grin as he invades your space. “…Yu—!”

You help when his hand shoots out to snag ahold of your jaw, fingers pushing into your cheeks as he quirks a brow. “I know you’re not stupid enough to call me by another man’s name, right?” Your hand is still gripping the door knob, and it tightens as you jerkily nod, eyes wide and unblinking as the gravity of the situation takes its time weighing on your shoulders.

He smushes your cheeks together, a hum leaving him as he turns your head side to side, and you can’t help the feeling that he’s appraising you, ogling you, judging you, just as he had been when he wasn’t in control, and all the things he had said suddenly come rushing back to the front of your mind.

A choked noise manages to escape you, and his grin widens, his free hand pushing yours away from the door so he can push it closed. “Wonderin’ what I’m gonna do to you?” He guesses, and you make another noise, your hands itching to do something. You are a sorcerer, not the strongest but definitely not the weakest, but this is Sukuna standing in front of you, what could you possibly do against him?

He takes another step forward, and the cologne that Yuji frequently wears wraps around you and makes your head spin. “I was wondering the same thing on my way over.” His front presses flush to yours, and you jump when something firm and big pushes into your hip, the hand that had been on your face dropping to rest against the side of your neck, thumb positioning itself underneath your chin so he can tilt your head up. “What to use first… your mouth,” he eyes your lips, and a shaky breath leaves them at that moment, “these tits,” his free hand gropes you through your sweater, and you yelp and jump in his hold, protests stuttered out as he kneads and squeezes at the flesh.

“S-Sukuna, you can’t—”

“Or this fat little cunt you’ve got.” The hand that had been on your chest dips low, and you both make a sound when his fingers are met with a sticky, clear fluid. He snarks out a laugh, and you furiously shake your head as your skin burns. “You’re fucking wet.”

“I’m not!” He pushes a finger up against your clit through the cotton of your panties, and you cross your ankles in an attempt to keep him from rubbing against you, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He presses against you harder, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you weakly push at his forearm. There’s the fleeting thought that Yuji is somewhere in there seeing this, and it’s almost enough to have you melting into an embarrassed puddle of goo, but then Sukuna is saying something about being on ‘borrowed time’ while lowering himself to his knees in front of you.

You gape down at him, hurriedly trying to scramble back, but his hands come up to grip the backs of your thighs, the look he gives you making you stay put. Once he sees you’re not going anywhere, he loosens his grip on your legs, hands venturing up until he’s roughly gripping at the fat of your ass, gaze fixed on your face as you fight to keep it somewhat expressionless… although by the pleased look on his face you’re sure that you’re failing.

“You should revel in the knowledge that I’ve never kneeled before anyone else.”

With a harsh tug your underwear is pooled around your ankles, and Sukuna is roughly pushing up the material of your sweater, his head moving in until you can feel his breath fanning over the curly hairs covering your cunt. A misplaced stroke of insecurity covers you as he takes in the sight, and you don’t want to ponder about why you seem to care if he prefers a full shave or not, because you shouldn’t.

You should kick him away, king of curses be damned. He could cut you into a million pieces with a swipe of his finger, but still! You should do something other than just stand here and allow him to—

He buries his nose into your mound, a deep groan sounding as you hear him breathe in your scent, and your breath catches in your throat as your knees wobble, hands flying to his shoulders as you steady yourself.

You sweater covers his head as he lets it go to instead spread apart your lips, and you can’t help the gasp that comes out when he immediately begins to lap at your cunt, tongue moving from your clit to your hole and back again.

It’s too much too soon, and noises that you’d be horrified at making later tumble out of your mouth as Sukuna messily eats you out, one hand harshly gripping at your ass. His tongue feels as if it’s everywhere all at once, and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge in no time, hips unconsciously rocking against his mouth, calves tensed as you stretch your on your toes, fingers curling into the material of his hoodie.

“Suh…Su-kuna,” a broken cry of his name falls from your lips as you come, his tongue pushing impossibly deep into you as his hand tugs you closer. The sound of him slurping at your slick is loud in the room, and the bruising grip on your ass trades in for a caress, the harsh sucking at your cunt switching to slow, languid licks that threaten to throw you into overstimulation,

When the fog clears, you stiffen, face screwing up and eyes widening as you look down at the lump in your sweater. Before any thoughts can come, he’s pulling back, pink hair coming into view as your sweater falls away from him, and you think you may just die on the spot when take note of the lack of black markings marring his face.

“…Yuji?”

[devilsadvocate54]

dating modern ellie — random hcs

love language ;

— i have a feeling that her love language is receiving gifts. oh u said u found the dress kinda cute? the next day. its yours. the fact that she spent her money on you made you feel bad (like always). but she’s like “it’s no big deal, cmon”

specific gifts* ;

— sometimes when she feels like she wanna gift u something more special than dresses, necklaces etc. she burns a cd for u and gives them.. weird names? .. “what do you think? did you like it?” apart from that, she gives you different drawings every single day.

dates with her ;

— theyre pretty simple but fun at the same time. imagine youre watching smth nd jus chilling. then suddenly she stands up and being like, “would you… uhhh.. like to get some milkshakes?" at fucking 3am in the morning.

++++ ;

— this girl writes poems for u. -we know from the game- her poems can sometimes be so deep n sometimes not. she often plays the emily dickinson card (you are the love of her life) 💋 but chooses not to show u any of her poems cuz she thinks theyre too stupid n corny….

— this girl has some red flags. cmon everyone has redflags. and i think her redflag would be “giving mixed signals” which was very difficult before u guys dated cause she just couldnt make up her mind.

— i think ellies a good listener, not just w u, but with everyone. shes not much of a talker ig so she just listens and comments.

— loves to gossip with u tho. she’d sit there and listen u talking (yapping) about some cringey couple.

— when u first met her you kinda made fun of her name... “what was your name again?” .. “ellie, ellie williams” .. “ellie williams?? dude thats like the most common name and last name ever.”

..

a/n: not proofread — this is like super old i wrote this two months ago!! AND im starting to lose interest in tlou #sendhelp

[bonefall]

i dont think people are upset that the erins "weren't creative" enough with Moonpaw, they're upset that she's just. not a chimera. thats just a longhaired tortie and they justified it with chimerism. which is extremely insensitive because chimerism is a real medical thing that can cause issues in every species, including humans for those that dont know, and thats like. a big thing.

like, yay some disability rep (depending on how they write it. it wont be good. ughh) but like. its not going to be considered a disability when it can be in some cases. they are just going to say "ohh shes so special!!" like some people say with autism in this age (the infantilization of it) and its gonna be. weirdddd

anyways. sorry for ranting in your inbox.

Hey. Woah. THIS is insensitive and I don't know where you're getting this from. NONE of the three types of natural chimerism are a disability and it is extremely rare that fusion chimerism leads to medical complications.

Do not spread misinformation about a genetic condition because you're annoyed about the writing team confusing a common tortie fur pattern with chimerism. THEIR mistake is ultimately harmless. What YOU'RE doing is stigmatizing.

Quite frankly, after seeing a bunch of posts and receiving several asks about this, I don't think half of the people who are getting mad actually know anything about chimeras. I sure as fuck hope it's just ignorance, and that you aren't out here trying to call the state of being intersex a disability.

But I can fix ignorance. No need to assume malice. I will explain what chimerism is, and why you should stop going around implying it "causes issues in every species."

Chimerism is when a single individual is comprised of cells from two or more fully fertilized zygotes. There are two BROAD types of chimerism;

Artifical

Natural

Artifical chimeras are common with the advent of modern medicine. Ever had a blood transfusion? Organ transplant? You are a chimera. Or at least were for a while.

THIS can lead to complications and can cause disability, but it's not what Moonpaw is. She would be a type of natural chimera, which in and of itself has THREE subtypes;

Micro chimerism

Blood chimerism

Fusion chimerism

Microchimerism is so common that I could make a Your Mom joke out of it. It's caused by the passage of cells between the fetus and placenta during pregnancy. Everyone who has ever been pregnant is a microchimera.

While it can lead to complications, it can also be beneficial. Pregnancy could be considered a type of temporary disability, but no one would expect disability rep from every character who had ever given birth.

Blood chimeras are common in species whose twins typically share a placenta, such as cows and marmosets, but very rare in animals like humans and cats which usually don't. It occurs when tissue between two twins is exchanged through the umbilical chord. This type of chimera often ends up with a mixed bloodtype, hence the name.

This is the cause of freemartinism in cattle, when fraternal cow twins cause a sister to share her brother's hormones and act more like a bull. A type of intersex condition, not a disability-- so I sure HOPE you aren't trying to imply THIS should be "disability rep."

And even in the other case, would you automatically expect disability rep from a character that has two blood types?? No. Just like you wouldn't automatically expect disability rep from every character that had ever been pregnant, or every character who had ever needed a blood transfusion

And lastly, the one that Moonpaw ACTUALLY is. A fusion chimera. These are created when two fully fertilized zygotes fuse into a single individual.

These are extremely rare because you can't usually TELL when an individual is a chimera. There is no obvious physical difference between the "halves," with some cases of doctors insisting that patches are just weird birthmarks. They live their entire lives with normal health problems like non-chimeras. It mostly causes complications when DNA testing results in a false negative-- because the offspring of a fusion chimera occasionally end up being their genetic nespring.

Or, the two "halves" are male and female, causing gonadal differences. These people aren't disabled, there's nothing wrong with their bodies, but they're subjected to unneccesary cosmetic surgeries as children because they are intersex.

Say it. SAY IT. INTERSEX. I N T E R S E X. IM GRABBING YOU BY THE SHIRT AND SHAKING YOU THEY ARE INTERSEX.

Can some intersex conditions cause disabilities? YES. Are intersex conditions inherently disabilities? NO. Even when you're discussing infertility as a disability, tread VERY CAREFULLY because intersex people are fighting very hard to lift the stigma over their bodies.

Speak with care. Do not equate being intersex with being disabled. They are two different things.

You can be both and sometimes one could contribute to the other, but BEING intersex IS NOT a disability.

VERY rarely, even MORE rare than standard chimeras which are already very very rare and massively underreported because they are so unremarkable, a fusion chimera will happen LATE in utero. THIS can contribute to a chronic autoimmune condition where the cells reject each other, which is a disability.

And by rare I mean one case. Literally one. Of the 50 reported fusion chimeras in the review I'm referencing, Taylor Muhl was the only one with this. 4 were discovered via congenital abnormalities (unknown if connected to the chimerism b/c they were only tested because something was already wrong), 17 had fertility issues, and the remaining 28 didn't report immune conditions or birth defects but INTERSEXUALITY.

ANOTHER condition is often lumped in with chimerism, by people who do not know what chimerism is, which is mosaicism. Mosaicism, when there are two different sets of genes resulting from the same zygote, is NOT chimerism. MOSAICISM can be a cause of disability. CHIMERISM is usually not.

(Read the review in depth, as it includes mosaic cases for the sake of completion.)

They can both be fertilization errors, but are not the same thing. Follow me, I'm only going to woefully simplify a complicated topic once,

CHIMERA = Two zygotes in one body

MOSAIC = Two bodies in one zygote

CHIMERA = usually fine

MOSAIC = usually bad

And the last possible places you could be getting the idea that chimerism "causes disability" from, to my knowledge, is 1. This study that says the loss of a twin in early pregnancy increases the chance of congenital defects in the survivors (has barely anything to do with chimerism, this link is tangential, vanishing twin syndrome does not necessarily mean it was absorbed by its sibling)

Or, 2, this study of several animals where they correlated rates of benign tumors to % of chimerism based on SPECIES. BLOOD chimeras. It's COWS AND MARMOSETS AGAIN. The study ITSELF calls for further targeted research of chimerism cause of susceptibility to cancer.

It couldn't even link new growths or malignant tumors to chimerism in the mammals of its study. WE'RE mammals.

Correlation does not equal causation. Statistics 101.

So no. That's not "a big thing." Chimerism is fine, they're just very likely to be intersex if they're a fusion chimera of a male and a female zygote. Do not imply intersexuality is a disability. Please get mad about the actual ableism in the series, not the team being clueless about tortie patterns.

Also everyone say you're sorry to intersex Moonpaw. I better see you people making intersex Moonpaw pride flag edits as penance IMMEDIATELY.

UPDATE: Anon apologized! Growth! I still think this is an important post, especially in the context of the wider fandom conversation, so I'm leaving it as-is. Please feel free to reblog.

UPDATE 2: Clarification on infertility as a disability because I didn't word myself very well in one section!

[alllgator-blood]

I s2g if you add the layers of these comic pages together, it's over 350 layers. THIS is why I don't do full color for my comics lmaooo- ANYWAY EVERYONE HERE HAS AN AU APPARENTLY, SO THIS IS A BRIEF GLIMPSE INTO MINE. I don't know what to call it yet but I'm thinking of calling it "famous prophets" because 1. I like that car seat headrest song, 2. it's about shamura who is prophetic, 3. it's about trying to outrun fate with the Power of Love (and failing. Like the song!!!). It takes place when all the bishops were teens/kids during the age of hundreds of gods at war, and were trying to survive as a family.

I'm really excited to work on stuff for it but it's all gonna be drawn out of order. Maybe I'll write a full explanation of what it's gonna be about when I have a better idea...I want to channel my eldest sibling angst in a productive way, and maybe establish a QPP between shamura and a completely random npc everyone forgets about <3 also kallamar is trans too cause I said so. I'll do a comic about it eventually. Instead of an absence of gender he has TOO much gender. It simply cannot be contained.

I like that nonbinary genders are normalized in cult of the lamb to the point where nobody singles anyone out for being a they/them, it's not like "THIS IS MY SIBLING SHAMURA. THEY ARE NONBINARY AND USE THEY/THEM. ALRIGHT BACK TO KILLING YOU", it's just like "don't you fucking dare make my poor sibling wake up from their nap to kick your ass. Cause they deserve better than this."

But at the same time I like having the freedom to be more specific, and say "shamura is voidpunk and their gender is best described as the feeling that overtakes you during the first snow of the year, when everything outside is deathly quiet". This comic is actually derived from the time I was walking through a forest that's been torn down for a few years, and came out to my little sister as trans. I must've been like 13 or 14 and she didn't really get it as a 10 year old, but it was better than my mom FREAKING OUT about me coming out. So it was a nice little bonding moment between just the two of us. I don't have a good memory so I don't recall how it went unfortunately...

Now, the climate is a little different. My sis tried out transmasculinity for maybe 5-6 years before feeling happier as a woman, my mom is trying to be Based and flaunt her Woke trans children, and my dad remembered "oh yeah trans natives have existed before colonization. Maybe me being transphobic is a product of my culture being erased" and has gotten better about calling me the right thing. I have a mustache (thanks pcos!!) and wear skirts and am not a repressed "tomboy" teenager anymore. But I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I could've been like shamura and just...been nonbinary without people being fucking weird about it. Or been born as a badass war god who will tear you to shreds before you can perceive my birth sex. I know they're fictional but they are my ultimate gender envy GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK

Here is the secret image for this post- I listen to mostly EDM when I draw cause it keeps the energy up, but as I was finishing up shamura's poetry part, I was like THESE ARE JUST KMFDM LYRICS so I made this

[love-belle]

i want sweet revenge and i want him again !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them ignoring their feelings and making the worst decisions.

or

for when they will always be your summer love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

sequel - you were my summer love ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - posting this at 3am bc i have midterms from monday and it's very unlikely i'll post again this month 💔💔💔💔 i love u all so much thank u for reading <3

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yourusername "get him back!" is finally out!!!! i wrote this song in my car after breaking down over the consequences of my own actions and getting yelled at by my twitter girlies <3 summer was fun i had fun we all had fun but the aftermath is not pretty so fuck them boys u all stay happy and thriving hydrated!!!! get ur sweet revenge and get him back!!!!! but fr pls tell his mom her son sucks ❤️

8,628 comments

username there's too much going on idk what to decipher first

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username not her telling us to get our man back but also tell his mom that her son sucks

-> username top tier advice idc

username THE SONG'S A FUCKING BOP OMG

username those lyrics are so her and him coded like 💔💔💔💔💔

charles_leclerc don't call me weird

-> yourusername this is so unprovoked get out

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-> username CHARLES????

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username i miss her and that dude ngl

-> username no bc they were so cute together 💔💔💔

-> username why do men ruin everything 😐😐😐😐😐

username "i can fix him" GIRL YOU ARE WORSE THAN HIM

-> yourusername UNCALLED FOR

username i fucking love her and her fans so much like the way we're all js best friends with her and she's sooooo in touch with her fans ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername not true u all js bully me

-> username bc u make stupid decisions

-> yourusername ://

username y/n having beef with 80% of her fans will never not be funny to me like wdym ur FANS bully u

-> yourusername i have proof and im not afraid to use it

-> username "proof" and it's literally just her being a dumbass and us having NORMAL reactions to it

-> yourusername FURTHER PROOF UR HONOUR

username so MUCH for summer LOVE and saying US cause u weren't mine to LOSEEEE

username this is sooo 2000s romcom coded idc

landonorris WEIRD??? ME???

-> yourusername GET OUT OF MY COMMENTS SECTION THIS ISN'T ABT Y'ALL

-> username what the fuck is doing on

-> username im so out of loop wtfff

username "i want sweet revenge and i want him again" unhinged behaviour fr

username every time we think she's healing she comes back and writes a song that's basically a BIG cry for help like girl pls we're getting tired 💔

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paddock.club rumours have been swirling around pierre gasly and his anonymous girlfriend, who's affectionately called 'augustine' by his fans, and their alleged break-up for weeks now. the said rumours were confirmed as gasly was seen out in monaco and he certainly wasn't alone — or with just one consistent company. "this may confuse some people but they were very different from each other," sources close to the couple claimed. "after summer break ended, it felt like so did whatever they had going on." this comes as a shock as despite knowing almost nothing about augustine, fans adored her and they're devasted about the end of their summer love. click on the link in our bio for everything that we know about their relationship.

comments are disabled for this post

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pierregasly you're trippin'

9,638 comments

username NAH THE AUDACITY OF M*N SOMETIMES

username BROTHER IM STILL RECOVERING FROM THE AUGUSTINE REVEAL SLOW DOWN

username HELLO???????? HE'S SEEING SOMEONE???????

-> username "he said i was the only girl but that js wasn't the truth"

username the fact that he used HER lyrics for his caption like..........im SICK rn

username when 😭 i 😭 told 😭 him 😭 how 😭 he 😭 hurt 😭 me 😭 he 😭 told 😭 me 😭 i 😭 was 😭 trippin 😭

username im actually in shock rn like my jaw is on the FLOOR

landonorris caption 😬

username no bc im here thinking like she called his friends weird 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that's why charles and lando were so offended in the comments 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username boy she's over there listening to summer love by one direction WHAT R U DOING

username that's not y/n in the last slide and im throwing up rn i need them BACK

username need this all to be a nightmare bc i cannot fucking do this anymore 💔💔💔💔

username it's on SIGHT when i see u on streets

username im so 💔💔💔💔💔

username y'all i feel bad for bullying y/n bc if i were her i too wouldn't move on from this man

-> username fr like we gave her sm shit for being in love with him and im like "girlypop same omg"

-> username real like i see what she saw

charles_leclerc nice choice for caption 👍 very strong words 👍

username here for charles and lando calling him out for the caption like yasss kings ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ do ur work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username y/n needs to be more cunty rn bc this is so wtf

username L caption 🤣🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵🫵

username im gonna miss their summer love era so much like we were FED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username "and when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france" WOW OKAYYYY

username something about his last post before this being all about augustine and their summer and now this one is basically shading her like 💔💔💔💔💔

username everyday we stray further away from good

username ripping my hair out why cant bitches be happy ffs

[kidney9-9]

Lesson Learned - Peter Parker

@hollandlover19 asked:

So idk if I’m being annoying with all my requests and if I am I’m really sorry but could you write something about Peter and the reader are both avengers and y/n is Tony’s daughter and they’ve been quarantining at the compound and every time they try to have sex they get interrupted by ether Sam or Bucky and they’ve noticed that they’re always interrupting them at the worst times so Sam and Bucky make a game out of it just to piss peter off by trying to see how many times they can ruin the mood and so far it’s been two months also Peter and the reader are both 18🖤🖤🖤

Hi Natalie, sorry it's so late haha! I hope you enjoy, thank you for sending this in :) I enjoyed writing this! It was so much fun. Steve is in this too! Peter Parker x Stark!Reader [Smut with Fluff and Angst, Happy ending] Warnings: Cursing, smut, creampie, exhibitionist kink, hand job, mention of threesome and foursome, threats, tiny part about sickness, Peter being feral/creepy, small mention of stalking, and betting money Word Count: 8k

-

When the Avengers crew got hit with a contagious and possibly dangerous virus, you were all ordered to stay at the compound for quarantine until it was completely out of everyone’s system. Unfortunately, it seemed that the virus stayed around in the body for usually about three months. You were glad you had your boyfriend, dad, and friends there though.

It seemed somewhat like a weird staycation, except sometimes you woke up with a fever and a stuffy nose and some days you felt completely normal. The only one that had the worst case out of all of you was Bruce, which was strange for him. He normally didn’t get sick easily, but somehow the virus really got to him. He practically stayed in his lab all the time, trying to find different treatments for his sore throat and stuffy nose.

Today, you had absolutely nothing to do, and so did Peter, so you both had planned on having a fun sexy day without your dad and coworkers finding out. You two were sitting in one of the indoor hot tubs, making out with each other heavily.

“Fuck, rub up on me just like that and I’ll be fucking you against the pool tile.” Peter groaned into your ear as you dropped your head down to his neck, sucking and licking at his sweet spots while pushing your hips down on his. The hot tub was bubbling and pretty hot, but it didn’t stop you two from getting it on.

“Do it, baby, want you in me.” You panted back, rubbing and grinding your clothed pussy against his hard on. He had taken off his shorts a few minutes ago after whining about how tight it was in his swimsuit.

“Uh, fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.” He responded, putting a hand in your hair, and guiding you back to his lips. You opened your mouth and kissed him, groping his tongue with yours, memorizing his mouth.

His other hand had been tugging at your bikini top, undoing it after a few moments of struggle. You two parted just for a second to get the top off of you and he switched spots with you, pushing you up against the tile and humping up against your pussy.

“Take off my – ah, fuck,” You gasped loudly, head falling back as he started to pinch one nipple and kiss and suck on the other harshly.

He understood what you were trying to say, so he tugged on your bikini bottoms and pulled down until they reached your knees and you kicked them off, letting them float in the hot tub.

“Want me to fuck you right here, huh?” He grunted as he pulled away from your breasts. You nodded, panting back.

“Need you now, Peter, please. Want you in me right now.” You begged, pushing your hips back up to his. You could feel his dick press up against your labia, rubbing up on your clit, causing you to have a high-pitched moan.

Right when he started to push into you, the door opened on the other side of the room. Thankfully, the hot tub was steaming, and you practically pushed Peter to the other side of the hot tub and dived underwater, so whoever it was, wouldn’t see what was happening.

“Ah, uh, hello?” Peter called out in rushed pants, trying to calm himself down. He grabbed his swim shorts that were on the pool tile and quickly pulled them on as he heard two different footsteps coming your way.

“Oh hey, Pete! You here by yourself?” Sam called out, gazing around the room, not noticing anything off. Bucky though, narrowed his eyes at the hot tub, looking at the blurry shape under the water.

“Uh, well you know,” Peter tried to stumble through some words, but you popped right out of the water, smiling nervously at the two men.

“Hey guys!” You greeted them.

“What were you doing under the water?” Bucky instantly questioned. You and Peter glanced at each other for a moment, his blush worsening, but you played it off cool.

“Holding my breath, wanted to beat my score from last time.” You explained, running a hand through your hair.

He raised an eyebrow at you, “Yeah? What was the time?” Sam looked over to Bucky, wondering why he was being so curious right now, but started to take off his shirt to get into the pool right next to the hot tub.

“Two minutes and fourteen seconds right now. Should get it higher though, just in case.” You shrugged back. Peter nodded along frantically, still trying to calm himself down.

“Huh, okay, keep up the good work, kid.” Bucky responded, still narrowing his eyes at Peter and you. After a few minutes of chatting, you excused yourself to go to your room while Peter stayed and talked to Sam and Bucky while they swam in the pool.

Peter had to wait until they left, since his boner wouldn’t go down and he really didn’t want them to see that.

He rushed to your room, and you opened it instantly after he knocked. His face was red as he walked into your room, and you shut it.

“That was too close, oh gosh, I feel so embarrassed!” Peter cried out and pressed his hands into his face. You fell back onto your bed, agreeing with him.

“Yeah! Why the fuck was Bucky questioning me like that? He usually is so calm and chill to be around.” You groaned back.

Peter’s shoulders raised up, “He knew. He totally knew, right?” He whispered to you, eyes wide.

You cough in surprise, “Woah, okay, no way. He’s an old ass man, he wouldn’t know what sex is anymore.”

Peter snorted in amusement, “He listens to erotica audio books during his stealth missions, I’m pretty sure he knows more about sex than us.”

You look at Peter with a confused expression, “Why do you know he does that?”

He looked embarrassed as he answered, “I wanted to watch his mission one time, since he’s so cool… He didn’t realize I was listening to the comms, so he put it on.”

You clutched your stomach as you started laughing hard, “Oh shit! Wonder if Sam and Steve know!”

-

The next time you guys were caught, Peter’s hand was up your shirt, clutching one of your breasts as you moaned into his neck. You guys were in the little movie theater your dad built on as entertainment. You two were thankfully, covered by a blanket.

“Baby, I wanna taste you so bad right now, bet you’d taste delicious.” Peter groaned and you nodded back, tugging him back up for a wet kiss.

“Do it, Peter, lick me.” You whimpered back, pulling away from the heavy kiss. Just as he was unbuttoning your pants, Sam walked into the room with a container of popcorn and a drink.

The lights were low, but you and Peter knew he could tell instantly what was happening. Peter pulled away as Sam laughed awkwardly, “Wow, getting freaky in the theater? I used to do that too with my girlfriend when I was younger.”

Peter’s blush was heavy as he denied it, “Uh no! I was just adjusting the blanket, she’s cold.”

“Yea, I’m pretty cold right now.” You faked a shiver and Sam shook his head dismissively.

“Nah guys, trust me, I get it. But I did text the group chat earlier today that I was hosting a Star Wars marathon at this time. I was just putting some snacks in the room. Pretty sure Bucky, Steve, and Clint were joining me. Do you guys want to stay?” He offered, thankfully looking past the fact you and Peter were just about to hook up in the room.

You didn’t feel like watching Star Wars since you were still feeling pretty affected by what you guys were doing, but you knew Peter was going to be up for it. He looked at you, as if silently asking if it were okay for him to stay and watch the movies and you smiled and nodded back to him.

“Yeah! I love Star Wars so much. How are you starting it? Originals first? Prequels?” Peter cheered himself up and his blush went down as him, and Sam started talking.

You left the room with a wave and a smile, and you went to your room and took care of yourself with a toy there. Wasn’t the best, but it did help a bit.

-

The next day, Sam was making his breakfast, and Bucky walked in. He muttered a good morning to Sam, and Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise as he remembered what happened yesterday.

“Dude, remember when you told me Peter and Y/n were about to fuck in the hot tub that one time?” Sam brought up, spreading butter on his toast. He grabbed a mug and poured some coffee into his cup, glancing at Bucky.

“Yeah? You still don’t believe me? I practically could smell it in the air.” Bucky scrunched his nose up, recalling the day.

“Well, I caught them in the act yesterday in the theater. It’s a bit surprising, isn’t it? Since Tony is here too, like wouldn’t they be extra cautious not to get caught so easily? I would hate to get caught by my parent.” Sam shuddered.

“They seriously did that… after we caught them the last time? Didn’t expect that of Peter. He seemed like a pretty timid guy.” Bucky shook his head, sighed, and opened the fridge up.

“They’re going to do it again. One of them must have some fucking kink for this shit – or maybe both of them. It’s so funny too, looking at Peter just confirms it. His face is all red and he has this dazed look. And Y/n, well, she’s a pro, can’t tell at all.” Sam laughed.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when the girls gang up every Tuesday for girls’ night. Natasha’s probably been teaching her some spy techniques and Wanda helps her with her expressions for sure.” Bucky threw a guess out there.

Sam laughed harder, “We should probably teach Peter how to hide it better.”

Bucky shook his head immediately, “No, fuck that. We’re going to screw around with them even more. Every single day let’s search for them when we know they’re together. I can guarantee you they’re probably hooking up. Peter should learn that way.”

Sam whistled low, “You’re cold hearted, man. But agreed, I just want to see Peter get embarrassed and flustered again, he looks like a scared little puppy.”

Bucky grinned, “And by the time we’ll end this thing, he’ll be better at acting, then he could get promoted. He’ll thank us for this.” He grabbed a drink from the fridge, opened it and watched as Sam took a bite of his toast.

“Right, well I’m free most of the time, unless I’m doing my running. You know my schedule though.” Sam responded, and Bucky nodded back in agreement.

“I’ll text you when we could start today.” Bucky replied.

-

Peter wrapped his arms around you from behind, grinning as you turned your head and kissed his cheek. “How’s my baby doing?” He asked, whispering into your ear. You spun around in his arms and kissed him deeply, causing him to pull away for a moment with a dazed look on his face.

“Woah.” He breathed out, “What was that for?”

You smiled sexily at him, “Well,” You tilted your head and pressed up against him, “We didn’t get to finish our session yesterday, right? How about right now we finish it?” You asked, pressing kisses up and down his neck.

He sighed heavily, knees feeling weak at your touch, “Yes, yes, we will finish it right now. Can’t go without you and your pussy for more than a day.”

“Good, so come on, let’s go up to the sun deck, it’s too stuffy in here.” You winked at him and pulled away after patting his shoulder.

He groaned and chased after you as you started to run to the elevator. “No fair! Wait up for me!” He shouted after you and you laughed back.

As you got up there, you quickly pulled your shirt off, throwing it at Peter, who caught it with his reflexes kicking in. You ran towards one of the sun beds, and sat down, taking your shoes off.

“Wait, wait, out in the open like this, is it okay?” Peter asked, breathing heavily. You nodded and shrugged back.

“Come on, the only person who comes up here is Thor, and Thor didn’t get affected by the virus. Didn’t even carry it. So, he’s off doing that gaming tournament, remember?” You responded back, lifting your hand and pulling Peter to sit next to you.

“Oh right, damn, I wanted to join him. He’s gotten good at that new game, they even made a character for him.” Peter oohed back to you. He pressed his hand to your back, sliding up and down as he scooted closer to you.

“Mhm, now enough about Thor and more kissing.” You giggled, and Peter agreed, pressing a kiss to your lips, then another and another, until you were both starting to pant and lay back against the sun bed.

“Fuck,” He breathed out, pushing his hand down your pants and cupping your pussy, “You’re not wearing panties.”

You pressed up into him as he slipped a finger into your vagina, starting to push in and out. “Oh Peter, more please.”

He pressed his thumb to your clit, rubbing it in circles as he slipped another finger in, curling it to hit your g-spot. “Ah fuck! Fuck, more, more!” You cried out and he dipped down and kissed your lips.

The next thing Peter heard though, was the door opening up, and he pulled away from you and practically jumped into the other chair next to you. You were panting and glaring at him for pulling away just as you were building up your orgasm, but he put his hand to his lips, pressing his finger up as a shushing motion and your eyes widened as you realized someone came up here.

You quieted yourself down and adjusted your outfit, and pressed back into the chair as if you were just resting.

Sam and Bucky rounded the corner and waved at you guys. “Oh, hey guys!” Sam spoke up in a cheerful voice.

You faked a smile back and responded, “Hi Sam! How are you today? Hey Bucky! Did you see that you got those packages in the mail this morning?”

Peter, however, was a mess. He was licking his hand clean of your slick, burning red and lips puffy from kissing you so much. You didn’t dare look at him, knowing he would blush even harder if he looked at your face.

Sam snorted quietly at Peter, he thought he looked like a dork, and wow was he really licking his fingers? It was too funny for him. “I’m doing pretty well actually. Just wanted to feel the sun today. Guess we all had the same idea?”

Bucky crossed his arms and watched Peter with a hard expression. “Peter. What are you licking?”

Peter gaped at him and then at his fingers. Fuck. “Well – I uh, I was sweating a bit too much?”

You were mortified at the lie, you wanted to laugh so bad, and wow Peter really didn’t know how to lie right.

Sam looked like he was about to burst out laughing. “Yeah? Maybe you should get checked up on that, especially since we’re quarantined for a virus right now.”

Peter nodded vigorously, “Yes. That. I’ll do that.”

“Did you not brush your hair today? It’s so messy… almost like sex hair. Huh.” Bucky spoke up again, glaring at Peter and you rolled your eyes at his words. So nosy!

“Wow Bucky! I didn’t know you were into my boyfriend like that. Maybe we can arrange something together, especially since you love reading erotica during your stealth missions, huh?” You copied his tone and glared right back at him. You didn’t want him verbally attacking your boyfriend.

Sam barked in surprised laughter, “Erotica? I told you I could set you up with one of my friends!” He was staring at Bucky in a new light.

Peter huffed out a breath of relief for getting the attention off him, he was thankful for you stepping up like that.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at you, “As much as I appreciate your offer, doll, I don’t think your dad and boyfriend would like that very much.”

You just smirked back at him and laid back down, staring straight up. “Yeah, I understand, you’re too nervous to actually fuck, you can go back to your erotica, it’s okay!”

Peter made a noise next to you, practically freaking out that you were jeering at Bucky and calling him pussy for not wanting to have sex with you and himself (Peter). The thought was very much welcomed. He told you how attractive he thought Bucky was and you agreed with him, but he never expected you to voice anything like that to Bucky. Even Sam was attractive to Peter, they were like mac and cheese or a two for one deal.

Sam was having a blast, hearing this and watching this happen. On one side, Peter was freaking out for being caught, and then Bucky started practically interrogating him – and then you were taunting Bucky! Wow, this was fun.

But then your eyes turned to him, “Hmm, you can join in too Sammy, you don’t have to feel so lonely, especially since none of your friends can come over right now.”

Oh, shit, Sam thought, and laughed even harder. He loved your humor.

Bucky though, was exasperated with your words. You were a Stark! Of course, you’d invite him and Sam into a sexcapade with Peter. He hoped Peter was learning how to play cool though, so he could get better at his job. He wondered briefly how you guys knew about his erotica audiobooks though.

“Whatever, I’ve had enough sun now. Think I’ll head back inside.” He excused himself and gazed over at Sam, who was still laughing.

“Yeah, yeah, bye guys! Wrap it before you pound it, Peter!” Sam chortled out another laugh and followed Bucky to the door.

You turned to Peter and sighed, “We didn’t finish again.” You pouted and Peter pressed his head into his hands.

“Next time, there’s always next time.” He promised you.

-

Turns out, there is no next time when Sam and Bucky were always around! Peter was so pissed off. He just wanted to be with you and have sex with you, but nope! Even in your room, they’d show up and knock and ask if you guys wanted to do something.

A whole two weeks have gone by, and Peter hasn’t been able to fuck you at all. Just a peck before Sam or Bucky or together they’d show up, grinning like mad men.

You were irritated too, but your irritation was more with Peter because he had no clue how to act in front of them whenever they showed up, so you were now initializing sex with him a lot less than normal. You even started hanging out with your dad and Wanda more than with him.

He felt so frustrated. He even asked if you guys could do phone sex, and you shook your head at him and say it wasn’t worth it and you could go do some other things that would be better to waste the time.

He was so close to his limit of blowing up and yelling at Sam and Bucky, but that would attract the attention from your dad, Tony, and wow, Peter did not want to explain why he was yelling at those two to Tony, his boss aka your dad.

He could even picture Tony kicking his ass into the next century by just saying those words to him. He was so protective of you, which was kind of adorable but not when Peter was just a guy who wanted to be with his girlfriend.

-

“Peter’s still not learning how to tone down his facial expressions. He can’t even lie that well.” Sam sighed to Bucky, sitting down as they put on a movie. Steve looked at the two of them in interest, wondering what they were talking about.

Bucky glanced over to Steve and grinned, “We’ve been catching Peter and Y/n whenever they try to have sex. We’re the cockblocker Avengers.”

Steve looked horrified, “Guys, what? Does Tony know this?”

Sam widened his eyes and shook his head, “Nope, fuck that. We’re not risking that. We just want Peter to learn how to control his expressions and now also learn how to lie better so we can get him a promotion.”

Bucky nodded in agreement, “It’s been a while since this started, I thought Peter would figure it out and get us to stop, since Tony calls him a genius.”

Steve gaped at the two of them, “So you’re telling me that Peter and Y/n are having sex? How long have they even been together for?”

Sam and Bucky were silent for a few moments before they burst into laughter, with Bucky slapping his leg and Sam clutching his shirt. They were laughing so hard that Bucky’s face turned red from the lack of oxygen he was breathing in.

“Oh god! You didn’t know?!” Sam cried out, laughing harder.

“Absolutely not, does Tony know?” Steve seemed alarmed, and Bucky rolled his eyes and calmed himself down.

“That they’re dating? Yes, Steve. There was a whole spectacle last year where Peter got on the floor and asked Tony for permission to ask her out.” Bucky explained.

“Oh! Oh. In December, right?” Steve asked to clarify.

“Right.” Sam nodded back.

“That was when Tony was in that awful mood and caused that international incident.” Steve oohed to himself and shook his head.

“You didn’t know why that happened? Yeah, it was Peter and Y/n.” Bucky sighed.

“Well, that… actually explains a lot around here. I thought they were just good friends.” Steve blinked and nodded to himself.

“Yeah, just don’t mention what we’re doing to Peter and Y/n in front of Tony. Anyway, Peter isn’t learning a thing and I think they’re both in a rut right now. It looks like she keeps turning him down.” Sam spoke up.

“Aw, Peter probably is angry with you guys.” Steve voiced.

Bucky snorted, “Fuck yeah, he is. Nerd has got to learn his lesson before we stop.”

Sam shrugged, “I think he’ll learn within the week, right?”

Bucky shook his head, “No way. At least two weeks.”

Steve narrowed his eyes and thought about this. He knew a bit more about Peter personality wise. He used to be like Peter and Peter used to be like him when they were younger.

“I bet you both $500 that it’s going to take at least a month.” Steve declared.

Sam and Bucky looked at each other and grinned widely, “Deal! You’re on.” Bucky shouted. Sam laughed, “This is a fool’s bet. You could give me $500 now.”

Steve shrugged and gazed back to the massive screen, “Hm, we’ll see who wins.”

-

Peter and you were finally alone in the pantry. Steve had ordered pizza for everyone and left it out in the dining room for people to come and get, so you two were alone in the kitchen.

“I missed you so much, baby, I love you so much too, fuck I really need you.” Peter pleaded with you, considering if he should get down on his knees and beg you to just even kiss him.

You pouted back at him, “I do too, honey. I want you too, but I’m not in the mood to get caught again and have you acting like a fool.”

Peter shook his head frantically, “Baby, no, it won’t happen this time. I made sure. Look, Steve bought pizza for everyone, and you know Bucky loves pizza so much. He’s going to be eating for at least 30 minutes and Sam loves to watch an episode of a sitcom while he eats and that’s also at least maybe 20-30 minutes. They’re not going to interrupt us.”

You hummed and crossed your arms, “You’re sure? 100 percent sure?”

“Yes, please, yes. I’m begging you, baby. I know they aren’t going to be here.” Peter pushed his hands together and got to his knees, in a praying way.

You gaped at him, “Get up, Peter! You don’t have to do that.”

“I do, I really do. I know I’m unworthy of your pussy but please, it’s like nectar to a hummingbird, baby, please.” He explained.

You laughed at him and pulled him up with your arms. “Come here, silly.” You rolled your eyes at him and kissed him.

He moaned out loud at just the simple kiss. Wow, he was touch starved, he needed you so much. He felt his eyes tear up as the kiss got deeper and he felt your hand in his hair, pulling him closer.

So, yeah, he definitely needed this. He hasn’t masturbated or jerked off in any way these past few weeks, because you were always around and always wanted to fuck too. He felt your other hand go under his pants, and he whimpered, needing more.

“Please, please, touch me, please.” He begged you as you pulled away from the kiss. You giggled at him and nodded, dipping your hand underneath his underwear, and cupping his hard on.

“You’re so needy, baby.” You teased him and pecked his lips.

“I am, I know, please, I want more, please. I’m yours, all yours.” He continued.

You started to jerk him off after you pulled his dick out of his pants. He moaned loudly and pulled you into another kiss, muttering against your lips, “Just like that, please, more.”

His hips started to jerk up as you continued to go faster and within two minutes, he was coming hard and fast and all over your hand and his shirt. He was flushed red, and he had these gooey looking happy eyes, and he had the biggest smile on his face.

You were shocked, he’s never come so fast before. “Peter, baby, you came in like two minutes.” You said, lips parting.

“I love you so much.” He panted and dropped his head against your shoulder. You looked down at his cock, realizing it never even went down. You were even more surprised at that and started to jerk him off again and he moaned so loud and prettily.

He moaned your name over and over and he cried into your shoulder, with actual tears. “Please, more, please, I’m begging you. I need more. I want more.” He cried out.

“Wanna fuck me? Huh, Peter? Want my pussy?” You asked him, pulling him by his hair and kissing down his throat.

“Yes, I want to use your pretty pussy, please, let me, please!” He begged even more, and you quickly got yourself ready, pulling your pants down and pushing a finger down to your pussy to check if you were wet enough, and yes, you were very ready.

You leaned against one of the shelves and showed yourself to Peter, ass towards him. He instantly grabbed onto your hips and with one big thrust, he went into your pussy, pounding hard and nonstop.

“Ah! Fuck, yes, right there!” You moaned loudly, pressing your head against a bag of chips. Peter was muttering nonsensically, but you could hear him say “please, please, please, please” over and over again.

“Keep going, you could do it, come on.” You encouraged him, wanting him to fuck you longer.

You weren’t shocked that you could feel him coming again, inside you this time. He continued anyway, fucking through his orgasm and right into another for himself. His hand came around your hip and down to your pussy, rubbing at your clit as he continued to pound into you.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, yes, shit! Yes Peter!” You felt like you were yelling but you couldn’t help yourself. You were finally coming after so long, on his cock. It felt incredible and you loved it so much.

He was still fucking you, and you were a bit shocked. He’s never done something like this before. After coming twice and working himself to another one? He usually stopped at one and rested for a few minutes and then he could go again, up until about four times.

“Need more, need your pussy, need you, baby. I love you so much. I wanna fuck you for so long, need it.” He panted in the crack of your neck and shoulder, groaning loud as he felt himself start to come again.

So much of his cum spasmed into your pussy and you gasped loudly at the feeling of being stuffed so full. It even started to leak out as he continued fucking your pussy, the sensations leading you into another orgasm so quickly.

You cried out his name, feeling like you were going to collapse now.

He still continued. You didn’t want him to stop at all, and it seemed like neither did he. He was on a roll, and he was locked into your pussy like he couldn’t pull himself out and he loved it.

A knock rang loudly on the door to the pantry. Peter slowed himself but didn’t stop fucking you. “What do you want?” He shouted, uncaring about who it was.

“I need to get some chili flakes for the pizza. I’d be happy if you didn’t ejaculate on them.” Bucky’s voice rang out.

You and Peter both groaned and finally he pulled out, anger steamed practically out of his ears. He barely pulled his pants back up and pushed his still hard dick into them before he cracked the door open and stared at Bucky.

“The chili flakes are with the pizzas out in the dining room.” Peter huffed out, face red still. Bucky rolled his eyes at the guy, still acting flustered.

“Yeah? And were you fucking Y/n in there too?” He asked Peter, grinning teasingly.

“…Uh, nope! Not at all. Was just helping her rearrange some stuff in the pantry.” Peter responded, acting awkward now.

This time you rolled your eyes and pulled the door completely open once you were decent enough.

“Bucky. He was rearranging my guts and if you need some chili flakes, I’m going to inject chili oil into your eyes while you’re asleep. Got it? Good, now more out of my way, I’m going to go get some pizza.” You almost growled at him.

Bucky slowly put his hands up and stepped to the side for you to pass him. He raised his eyebrows, “Mm, yeah, I’m not stopping you, go right ahead to the pizza.” He let you pass.

You looked back at Peter and sighed, “Enough of this. Seriously.” You looked so angry and so done about the entire thing.

After you left, Bucky stood there with his arms crossed and Peter just awkwardly excused himself after a minute of Bucky staring at him.

Yeah, Peter needed to fix this or else you’d stop having sex with him altogether.

-

You sat next to your dad as he wrapped an arm around you. You picked up a slice of pizza and started eating it, listening to the conversation in the dining room. Natasha and Clint were arguing about which hot sauce belonged on pizza and Steve was trying to meditate it but ended up groaning at the two of them when they switched to speaking in Russian.

“You good, bug?” Your dad asked you as you took another bite. You nodded silently and finished chewing and swallowed your food.

“Yeah, it’s just I’m really annoyed with this three-month thing. I’m getting tired of the people around me.” You practically glared at Bucky as he walked into the room.

Tony nodded to you, “Yeah, you’re sick of your boyfriend, huh? Let me take him off your hands tomorrow, I’ve got a project I need some assistance on.”

You blinked in surprise, “Oh, yeah, sure thing. He loves working with you in the lab.”

Tony smiled, “Yeah, he’s good with technology. But it sounds like I might need to talk to him about being clingy to you.”

You shook your head, “Oh that’s fine, I had a… few words with him. He should understand now.” You thought back to what you said a few minutes ago to Peter and mentally shrugged. If he doesn’t get Sam and Bucky to stop interrupting you guys, you’re going to deny him any kind of physical touch.

And yes, you were going to be so fucking sexy as you do that to taunt him even more.

“Good, you were always good with your words.” Tony responded to you, and you smiled at him. You were so thankful that your dad never found out about any of this stuff. You were sure he knew that you two were messing around together but you didn’t want to bring that up with him.

“Yeah, she definitely is.” Bucky spoke up, into your conversation.

You glared at him again and he barely even acknowledged you. Your dad though, nodded to Bucky, “Right. If she ever stops with our Avengers stuff, she could become a lawyer.”

“Definitely.” Bucky chuckled and grabbed a slice of pizza.

-

When you knocked on Peter’s door that night, he answered it within a minute. He pulled you into the room with a hug and a smile.

“Hey baby, did you save me a slice of pizza?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, I’m sorry. Steve made a bet with Bucky about who could eat the most pizza and it all ran out in the end. But… we have to talk.” You worded carefully at the end.

“Talk. Right, yeah, we do need to.” He sighed and sat back on his bed.

“You’ve got to figure this out with Sam and Bucky, and you have to learn how to stop reacting to them so much. That’s why they keep stopping us.” You explained.

Peter started blushing almost on instinct, “But – I don’t know how to do that.”

You sighed, “Baby, you’ve got to learn. I’m sure there’s a bigger picture to this whole thing that we don’t understand right now but try to look at that.”

Peter shrugged, “All I can see is Sam and Bucky finding it hilarious to fuck with us.”

“Well then, once you get them to come and apologize to me and you together at the same time, then we can have sex. Until then, we’re abstaining. I don’t care how long it takes, but you have to do this. You know I have talked to them about it before and they still continue, so you have to try.” You declared.

Peter gaped at you, “But no sex? What?”

“Yeah. Until you do that, I’m going to go buy some new toys. I need to find a toy that pleases me as good as you, please me.” You shrugged at him, feeling a tiny bit bad once his expression drops into something stormy.

“Okay, yeah, I get that.” He sighed deeply.

“I’ll see you later, bye sweetie, love you.” You pressed a long and gentle kiss to his lips and walked away.

-

Two months. Two fucking whole months and Peter and you have not had sex. Each time he’s tried, he couldn’t face them. It was terrible.

But now?

Now, Peter is pretty sure he can face the god of sex and be unphased if he was caught jerking off.

Each step he took was like he was bouncing off of mountains with how pissed he was and how horny he’s been without any relief. Now jerking off has done no good to him. You’ve been teasing him so much too. You’d wear the shortest fucking shirts ever in front of him and anyone around and just prance around like nothing’s wrong.

You’d wear some of his favorite dresses on you, the ones you two only used in private when you guys wanted to roleplay. The sparkly red one, with a low back? Yes. The short sheer black one where he could see your nipples if he stared long enough. Yes.

And you even wore his shirt with nothing else on – yes, nothing at all, all around the compound. He saw you in it, eating ice cream on the couch in the living room, chatting with Natasha, who was beside you. He sat down across from you and spoke with you guys before you slowly spread your legs deliberately and showed him you weren’t wearing any panties.

He excused himself so fast and cried in the shower when he couldn’t come.

So, right now it was about 3 in the morning. He disabled Friday in Sam’s room and Bucky’s room, shut off the power in their rooms as well. He put some special web fluid in his suit and went into Sam’s room first. He had prepared for this for at least two days, pulling information from everywhere he could find.

He broke every single appliance in the room. Then he barricaded the door and the windows. He made sure Sam had no contact with the outside, and he did so all very quietly.

He woke Sam up by pulling the blanket off him.

“Woah, what’s going on? Peter?! What the hell? Friday, turn the lights on!” Sam yelled out. When Friday didn’t do anything, Sam sat up in his bed, staring up at Peter, who was standing on top of the bed frame at the end, staring down at him with a hard expression.

It scared the shit out of Sam. He could barely see anything in the dark, but Peter’s face was something he could focus on, with some of the light coming from beneath his costume.

The usual shinny light in his eyes were gone. His happy-go-lucky expression was wiped away. There was a blank and dark look on the man’s face and it terrified Sam. This was not Peter Parker. This was a monster.

“Peter, come on, you’re scaring me… What’s happening?” Sam stood up, and tried walking to the door, but it was completely blocked. Sam looked over to the other escape routes in his room, which were blocked too, all thanks to Peter.

“You’re going to stop bothering me and Y/n.” Peter spoke up.

“Uh, come on, those are just jokes me and Bucky play.” Sam shrugged, trying to get Peter to calm down.

“How long has it been since you last spoke to your sister?” Peter brought up, voice void of emotion.

“Peter?! How the fuck do you know I have a sister? Did Steve and Bucky tell you?” Sam’s voice got louder.

“She’s sleeping at the moment. I have a camera in her room. She likes wearing that snoopy shirt to sleep, doesn’t she? I can tell. Did you know she leaves her window in the bathroom unlocked? She likes to leave it open when she showers. She uses those lavender bath bombs that CVS sell for $7 but she always gets them with an online coupon.” Peter chuckled.

Sam stayed silent in terror. This was scary, this was becoming his worst nightmare.

“I like to check in on her a lot. She has a kid too, your nephew, yeah? Isn’t it funny his favorite Avenger is me, Spiderman? I sent him a package as a thank you. It means so much to me. Do you remember third grade performance in a reenactment of the New York battle? I certainly do. He played an alien character. Remember what his line was? ‘Don’t kill me, oh mighty avenger!’ I love that line so much. It reminds me of what’s happening here, right? You’re the little bitch standing scared in the corner and I’m about to fuck you up.” Peter continued.

Sam practically curled himself up into a ball in the corner of the room. He stared in horror at Peter, thinking that these past few months haven’t been the smartest thing – with what he’s been doing with Bucky.

“Don’t bother me and Y/n again. I’m not asking. I’m telling you.” Then he raised his arm up and pointed at Sam.

He activated the web shooter and shot the new web fluid at him.

The web fluid was disgusting. Instantly, Sam started gagging and he tried pulling it off but once it stuck onto his skin, it wouldn’t move. The fluid hardened slightly, then started growing and growing and Peter pushed the desk away from the door and walked out.

Sam was left trapped in a corner in the dark, yelling out helplessly for anyone to listen to him. The fluid expanded to the rest of the room, trapping Sam in an uncomfortable spot. It would be hours before someone was alerted of the mess, and it would take another 16 hours to dissolve the web fluid and to get him out of the room.

Sam understands now to never fuck with Peter Parker or you ever again.

-

Peter was going to do something different with Bucky. He’d wake immediately if someone walked into his room, so he had waited outside his door and just breathed a bit heavily, knowing Bucky would eventually wake up and feel uneasy because he sensed someone outside his room.

Peter covered himself in an ooze that Bruce had developed during the quarantine in anger. It was a jelly type consistency that always smeared and spread and caused those that came into contact with it to slip around and feel itchy.

Yes, Peter felt uncomfortable, but he had the solution that undid this mess on him. He’d use it once he was done with Bucky and then go shower.

It only took two minutes for Bucky to open the door, armed and ready for an intruder. Peter flew himself into him and the knife slipped off of his body easily. He wrestled around with Bucky as Bucky started to understand who he was.

“Peter? What on Earth…Get the fuck off me, kid.” Bucky grunted, trying to kick Peter in the gut, but struggled when the goo got on him and started to spread.

Bucky started to itch like crazy, and he let Peter go as he started to itch everywhere. “The fuck did you do, kid?” He questioned, trying to stand up. Peter grasped the side of the wall and activated his suit to stand up.

“You’re going to be left like this for two days. This is my response. You’re not going to bother me and Y/n again.” Peter started off. Bucky just stared at him incredulously.

“You’re hard to intimidate. But I got the information… Did you know your sister donated her eggs? I do. You have some blood relations left in this world. Ouch, does that hurt you to hear? Especially since I can give this information to anyone here. Don’t you think Steve would want to go talk to them? You don’t want that though. You just want to be alone after what happened with your sister. Do you remember where you kept her letter to you? The one that told you she forgave you for leaving back then. I remember the lines, ‘James, dear, I love you and will always have a piece of love for you in my heart throughout the rest of my life. Remember when we’d fight over who got the last of ma’s cookies? Every time I bake her recipe, I think of you.’ Oh, so sad.” Peter voiced out.

Bucky immediately tried getting up to go beat the shit out of Peter, but he couldn’t.

“I have a copy of the letter. Do you want me to show Steve the part where she talked about him? Oh, you don’t? Okay, so don’t fucking mess with me and Y/n again. Or I’m going to release all the information I have on you. It will flood the internet and the streets. This isn’t a question, this is a statement. You can see this as a threat, I see this as a promise. You should know I don’t break my promises so easily. And I’m going to fuck my girlfriend whenever I want, without you interrupting.” Peter finished and smiled at him.

Bucky stopped thrashing around and just stared at Peter.

“You’re learning. Oh, thank fuck, finally. You didn’t have to do all this shit. You just needed to learn how to take things with a straight face and learn how to lie.” Bucky sighed deeply then laughed and shook his head.

“I was going to put word in with Tony to promote you too once you learned. But huh, you’re learning another kind of lesson that I didn’t expect you to ever learn. How to be a badass motherfucker. Wow, this modern world surprises me still.” Bucky chuckled.

Peter stood frozen, “You wanted to promote me?”

“I did.” Bucky noted back.

“…Do you still want to promote me?” Peter nervously asked.

Bucky tilted his head at him and smiled, “Ask me again once I can stand up.”

Peter groaned, “Nope, I know you’re going to punch me. Not falling for that.”

“Hah, looks like you’re learning not to be so gullible too. Good job.” Bucky laughed again and sat in the mess. He just continued to itch himself like crazy.

“I’m leaving now.” Peter said, leaving with a strange feeling in his chest.

He could’ve been promoted. Wow. That’s awesome! But you know what’s even more awesome now, he can finally have sex with you again.

-

“Baby! I did it! I got them to stop bugging us.” Peter spoke up, grabbing your hand to hold it. You smiled back and laughed cheerfully.

“I saw! You did great. Thank you, sweetie. We can do stuff together now.” You pulled him into a hug.

“Want to go try that new simulator together? We can have sex in a meadow! It’s like VR but better.” Peter asked and you nodded happily.

Your eyes widened, “Oh shit, that’s awesome. But what if we could have sex somewhere even more crazy then?”

“Yeah! I love when it’s a crazy spot. Makes me feel a thrill.” Peter exclaimed and you agreed. You two ran to the room, laughing when you saw Sam right behind the wall. He absolutely heard the entire conversation.

“You guys are insane exhibitionists. What the fuck.” Sam muttered.

-

A week later, Sam and Bucky handed each their payment to Steve. Once Steve saw and heard what Peter did to the two of them, he was shocked. Never did he think that Peter was capable of something like that, but Steve understood the feeling that once he was pushed, he’d also do something similar.

“At least he learned something.” Sam brought up.

Bucky shook his head, “Don’t know if it was worth being itchy and slippery for two days. Bruce had to recreate the solution to get it off me since Peter stole all of it and used it on himself.”

“I have trauma now. I don’t think I’ll ever see him as a little puppy anymore.” Sam revealed.

Bucky snorted, “Welcome to the club. Trauma is the only thing I know best.”

Steve shook his head at the two, “Well, I guess you guys have to move onto something else now. We still have about two and a half weeks till we should be safe to go outside again. Want to start a puzzle with me?”

Sam instantly denied him, “Nope, not again. You only buy the super hard puzzles with dull images. It’s sad. Bye.” He walked away.

Steve looked at Bucky with hopeful eyes, “I’m going to go… do something, yeah. Bye Steve.” Bucky spoke up.

Steve sighed at his friends’ actions. At least you and Peter could have fun together again.

[senseichaos]

Hey, same anon asking about yandere stuff. I'm so glad to hear!! Of course if you want to, may I please request yandere Vox with the reader? Like how they try to run from him? Perfectly fine with it being a female reader as I am one. And I don't mind how you write it. Do whatever you please! I love seeing others' interpretation of the characters 🖤 No rush!

YOU CAN'T RUN. HELL, YOU CAN'T HIDE EITHER.

thank you lovely anon! I love the concept of Yandere Vox! Hope this is good :) let me know your thoughts in another ask if you'd like! Lots of love!

Summary: Vox doesn't often fall in love often, no. Well that was until you came around- and you wanted a job with Valentino of all people? No. That would never fly with him. He'd make you work with him instead, like an intern or something? Hell, anything to make you stay near him. Anything to get him as close to you as possible.

Genres: Angst with a small amount of sexuality

NOT PROOF READ (yet)

Warnings/Tags: Yandere Vox, Insecurity, Reader is naive, manipulation, mind control, exploitation, creepy behavior, masking, contractual agreements, reader lacks hell experience, Vox is violent, Vox lacks empathy, angst, swearing, overall kinda depressing (LET ME KNOW IF MISSING ANY)

Pt 2

_______

You can't believe your eyes when you step into that tower, the pink glass adorning the outsides making your eyes shimmer. You have a job interview with Valentino today, after waiting for (probably too long) to get a job somewhere.

You see, hell worked slightly differently to earth. Where things in earth worked in a more of a 'work and make work' sort of way, Hell is more 'work, make work, and fight'

You'd managed for the past months to live in a small apartment that happened to be owned by someone who got killed in an extermination. It wasn't your plan to impersonate a sinner and squat in their home, but you have to get by somehow, right?

Well- it also wasn't your plan to be a porn star. But no where else seemed to want to take you. You're small, too weak to be taken by anyone else. People on the street told you that you were made for the screen, that your body was perfect. Some even tried to pay you copious amounts of cash just for you to suck them off. And you hate it.

At least the elevator of the building is cozy.

Vox on the other hand was having the best day of his life: or in his definition, a day where Valentino doesn't have a stupid breakdown that Vox doesn't have to solve.

He loves to watch his people as they indulge in his technology, he loves to watch everyone become obsessed with him and his media, he loves to be in control of all of these people. He'll watch every screen around him with focus, taking in their reactions as he bottle feeds them content.

Could he be with his boyfriend, Val? Yes. Does he want to? Hell no. He doesn't love Val. Plain and simple in his eyes. He has Valentino to get his business along. To make him more powerful. He'll do what he has to to be the most powerful he can be. Even if it means toying with people around him.

Val doesn't think he's capable of falling in love with anyone in this horrible underworld he inhabits. Everyone here is fucked. he is fucked. Plus, he doesn't know anyone here who he'd connect with anyway.

Or well that's what he did think until right now. There is a girl in the central elevator that looks awfully out of place, causing Vox to turn the entirety of his attention onto her. She looks like a regular old sinner, yes- but still she stands it like a sore thumb against the few people also in the central elevator. Where everyone's boring physique was her own enticing one stands. Where everyone else's two tone personalities stand her own colorful and bright one shimmer in his 2-D irises.

And then comes that odd feeling in his chest, this weird bubbling feeling of emotions that causes his eyes to tear up ever so slightly. This feeling, it's addicting. He wants to grind her up into a smoothie and drink her up, making the feeling sit there forever.

Something is wrong with him: he thinks.

With bated breath vox looked at the floor the elevator was approaching, figuring out where the girl is exactly going. There are only few reasons a sinner shows up at V tower anyway: to get a job with Valentino, or to turn yourself in if you'd wronged them. The elevator number reads '10'. She's going up to the business floor where Valentino currently is.

A sudden twist finds its way into his stomach, a horrible twist that makes his head burn with anger. Who does Val think he is? Having a girl such as her working for him. He. Couldn't let this happen, no no no no no no no. Why would he even want to exploit such a girl? She's supposed to be loves and cherished for everything she is.

The only reason she'd want to work with Val is because she has no other thing to do. He needs to offer her a job- or something to keep her from giving herself away to Valentino. Something to keep her as close to him as possible- like an intern or an assistant or anything.

Anything: Vox thinks.

Not often is Vox so reckless, not often at all. He likes to think he's decorum and well-adjusted. Likes to think he's a figure of this time. Of his time.

But right now, all he wants is this beautiful fucking girl to look at him in his eyes. Is it selfish? To want something so bad you feel like you could to horrible things to get it? Probably. But this is hell. And as an overlord of hell he can take what he wants. For once he doesn't care.

--- 666 ---

You take a step from the elevator, looking around the rather nauseating long and rounded hallway with squinted eyes. You can barely remember where you're supposed to be going anymore. You're supposed to meet Val inside one of these many, many studios. But soon enough as you start to venture through the halls on light, unsure steps you find yourself unable to read the words and numbers on each door.

Something is wrong, and you're unable to focus. There's this buzzing sound in your ears, a very faint but obvious buzzing that's causing your brain to go fuzzy. You can't feel your body anymore, it's just walking down the hallway in painful circles.

Suddenly that tether in your brain snaps with a loud crack, and your face to face with a television. You're still standing, in this long hallway, but now you're looking into the dark eyes of a TV screen. Wait- Eyes?

"Oh, Hello there sinner, are you looking for Valentino?" He asks, voice weirdly distant yet close all at the same time. His smile is large, almost devilish looking as he stares down at you.

You feel on edge, and your head still has a very faint buzzing lining itself.

"Oh, erm, Yeah.. I can't seem to recall what room-" You flinch as he hooks an arm around your neck walking you down the hallway once again with a smirk. There's a weird edge to him that you can't pin down, this whole interaction almost seems.. forced? Oh, there you go again, putting labels on things. Stop overthinking!

"Don't worry your pretty head about it! I'll take you to him," he says, unhooking his arm from your shoulder; only for him to rather sensually drag his hand across your shoulder blades until it's claws barely rest against your shoulder.

"But you know," Vox begins, swinging himself around so he stands in front of you, hands resting on either of your shoulders. You have to stop yourself from bumping into his chest. "You don't have to work for him." He says, his voice turning slightly more TV like and distant as he speaks.

"What do you mean..?" You ask, pushing his hand off of your shoulder with a painful twist of butterflies. A type of butterflies that you can't understand.

"Well, you seem like the type of gal to enjoy.." he looks you up and down, moving his hands from your shoulders as he grins. "Taking orders," you tilt your head at his words, confused. He shakes his head to himself, looking away for a moment with a slight frown before staring back, smiling brightly.

"No, I mean that you could be my assistant! You can.." He thinks for a moment, tapping the bottom of his screen as if it were his chin. He shrugs, smiling awkwardly with furrowed brows. "Bring me drinks and such! C'mon.."

He leans down to your level again, looking into your eyes. You suddenly feel that wave of disorientation go through you again, the only thing seeming to make sense to you being.. Vox.

"You don't want to be exploited by him, do you?" He says, and you feel his screen radiating heat on your skin. The buzzing becomes more loud as he goes on, all you seem to be able to hear being his words as they drip from his vile tongue. "C'mon dear, He'll break you."

"And you don't want to be broken, Right?"

He is right. You don't want to be broken by Valentino. You don't want to be exploited. But you don't have any other choice-

Until now, that is. You have an opportunity.

You should take it, right?

The headache and buzzing dissipate, taking a chunk of your psyche along with it. You feel your feet begin to give out beneath you from the exertion, lacking balance as you wobble softly. Not wanting to faceplant into the carpet, you reach out to something, anything to hold you. It just so happens to be Vox's chest, grasping onto the fabric of his coat as you begin to slip down to the floor.

"Hey, Hey, it's okay, What's got you out of sorts?" He asks, grasping you by your waist as he lifts you back to your feet. You blink, looking around for a moment with a nervous breath. Those butterflies, again. You hate them.

"I- uh.. I dunno.." You say stutter, pushing yourself away and scratching that back of your neck.

"You're feeling better?" Vox says, dipping his lids as he tilts his head rather attractively.

You nod, looking down at the ground with a nervousness inside of you.

"Good, good.." he turns away, looking at the ground and pacing for a short amount of time "good.." he says softly to himself, turning back around and clasping his hands together as he grins.

"Now how about you follow me and we can get you set up, yeah?" He says, pressing his hand against the space between your shoulder blades as he turns back to the elevator. You look up at him, and for a moment he seems to be in his own world. At least he is until you speak.

"So what's your name, Mister?" You ask, fiddling your fingers against each other nervously. He grins, lids upturning with the smile as well. He leans down again, poking a blue claw on your cheek as buzzing blurs your brain.

"It's Vox, my dear," He says, and your brain goes soft and mushy with an emotion you cannot describe. It feels as though he's making you melt.

"Keep that in your head for me, will you princess?" He asks softly, pulling his claw up the side of your face with a manic grin.

With a sudden movement he pulls away, shrugging his hands.

"Now darling, let's get back to it, shall we?"

Something is off, and part of you wants more of it.

--- 666 ---

Mister Vox's office is large in size, walls lined with screens displaying different things across the entirety of the pride ring. You wonder what Vox may do here all day, seeing the singular seat between it all that doesn't even seem that cozy.

You assume he watches, broadcasts, does meeting, and.. does what he's doing right now, perhaps?

"What do you do all day, Mister Vox?" You ask, looking wide-eyed at the television lined walls of the area. He flinches, grinning awkwardly before bringing back his confident demeanor.

"Me? Oh, you know.. this and that- I go to meetings.. I sign paperwork, I go to meetings.." He laughs to himself, shaking his hand dismissively as he sits in his seat, spreading his legs in a man spread. You turn away from the screens, looking over at Vox as he scans the monitors with narrowed eyes. You wonder if he was doing something important before he found you.

"Uh, Mister Vox, what do I do now..?" You ask, taking a small step towards him. He tilts his head towards you, smiling as he swings his chair to face you completely.

"oh, you? You can just sit there and look pretty.." Vox looks you up and down with narrowed eyes, face blank for a long moment before bringing a small smirk onto his face. He leans back in his chair, clicking his fingers as a bundle of clothing finds it's way into your hands.

"Perhaps prettier, change into that for me will you dearest?" He says, leaning his head on his fist as his voice becomes slightly more distant. You look at him, confused as you clutch the blue and red clothing to your chest.

"Okay.. Where do I change, Mister Vox?" You say, fiddling with the collar of your shirt as your body feels hot. Vox rolls his eyes playfully, pointing a clawed finger to the floor as he shifts his chair back to the screen. "Just change here my dear, no one will see you," He says, looking at you with a side glance. It's almost condescending, in a way.

"right here? But-"

"Here is fine, dear. Hell, here is more safe to change than anywhere else in this building," He laughs. You get this off feeling like you should trust him. I mean, he's one of the people owning this building anyway, right? He would be the one knowing a lot about it rather than anyone else. you should trust him.

"Okay Mister Vox."

You can't see his grin.

Every piece of clothing you peek off feels like this weird symbolism for losing yourself. Off comes your shirt: a piece is lost. Off comes your shorts: a piece of you is lost. And then more clothes come onto you, building something new. On comes a skirt: a piece of you is molded. On comes a blouse: a piece of you is molded.

And then there's this watch, a mobile one with 'Vox Tech' plastered across the side. With a shrug you put it on, struggling with getting it to tightness but ultimately managing to win the battle with the finicky strap.

"Good, good, how great you look!" He says, outstretching his hands with a grin.

You feel yourself blush, one half of you from his compliment and the other half from the fact he's looking completely in your direction. Does that mean he was watching you the whole time?

"Actually my dear, do you think you can grab me a coffee?" He asks, clicking his hands as a streak of blue energy shoots inside of the watch; this causes a mao to appear on the screen, showing where you are currently. "That map should tell you where to go, the assistant there should give you the coffee the way I like it,"

You shouldn't ask it, but you feel your bones ache too.

"How do you like it?"

He grins, tilting his head.

"Sweet with a strong flavour," He states, waving you off.

--- 666 ---

The first week as Vox's Assistant goes by smoothly, or as smoothly as it could working with an Overlord of hell. A rather odd seeming one at that.

Everything feels on edge with Vox, you feel like at any moment he could do something drastic. You've no idea what said drastic thing could be either, which makes it a whole lot more anxiety inducing. Hell, Vox is attractive. That's probably why you're on edge. That's what you keep telling yourself anyway. You're probably in love with him or something.

Vox had even given you housing as close to the building as possible, insisting he pay the rent. Not that you complain, no; less walking for you it seems. The Vox Tech watch he gave you tells you pretty much everything that you need to do. When you wake up in the morning it goes off, alerting you like an alarm, it has a to do list that blares when you're in the office, it maps out the whole space, it even acts as Vox's messaging system towards you.

You do wonder how he controls it, even in the comfort of your own home. Well, he is an overlord, right? He's capable of things even outside of your grasp. You cannot even fathom what he could do with that power.

And that's just the way Vox likes it.

Actually, you haven't seen Valentino around the building the whole week either. Even in a meeting you accompanied Vox to. You'd expect to see him more often with all the prowling in and out of the building you do.

It's as if he's vanished.

"Princess, grab me a coffee will you? Maybe even grab one for yourself while you're at it, on the house," Vox asks, swiveling on his chair to face your own, which sits just off to the side of his own with a small desk in front of it. You'd been doing some paperwork for him for the past hour, mostly reading through stuff, asking him questions, and singing them for him.

"Yeah, sure.. um, I was just wondering.." You utter softly, causing Vox to raise a brow as he leans back on his chair with a confident grin. He tilts his head in question, saying: "What's on your mind, (N/N)?"

"I haven't seen Valentino around the building, I was just wondering if something's up with him?" You ask, looking down at the ground as you begin to regret yourself even questioning. Vox laughs, flapping his hand in dismissal.

"Oh, just that? Don't worry about it! He's just.." Vox pauses for a moment, shrugging his shoulders. "Doing his own thing," He finishes, smiling rather oddly as he begins moving his chair back to face his computers. You intercept.

"His own thing..?"

Vox turns back to you, grinning widely with a manic look in his 2-D eyes. Once again, the buzzing fills your brain. And you fall to your knees against the ground with a painful 'thump'. Vox harshly grips your chin, pulling you closer to him until all you can see is that blaring red eye of his as he speaks.

"As i said,"

You feel yourself wanting to let go.

"Don't worry about it."

He lets you go of your trance, leaving you teary eyed as he smiles softly, brows furrowing in a sort of mocking empathetic way. His eyes drip with affection you find.

"Now, grab that coffee, okay?" He finishes, placing a cold kiss against your forehead before letting go of your chin, leaving yourself to gather your bearings.

It's not often you feel the want to defy someone. But as you stand from the floor, dusting off your skirt and walking to the elevator; you feel that need to be defiant. You'd figure out where Valentino is. He has to be somewhere in the building, right? You just have to find.. him..

In these hundreds and hundreds of doors. You would have to find him. And you can't take so long, otherwise Vox may suspect something.

You'd find someone to tell you where he is, you'd find him, and you'd stop worrying if Vox is going to do something drastic because he hasn't lied to you. Simple as that, simple as that. Right?

As it just so happens, as you begin walking through the studio halls you find yourself bumping into a spider individual, of whom you remember being a popular porn star.

So with an anxious breath you asked him. He explained that Valentino was in studio B-40, but he doesn't recommend finding him. And once again you go against someone's wishes. Plus, you were just going to stick your head in the door. It's nothing to worry about.

So what are you so anxious when you find yourself getting closer to the door? Why does your throat feel so tight? Why do you want to run in the other direction? Why does every step feel so heavy?

Taking another small step to the door, you wonder if you should listen to your conscious. It's supposed to do you good , right?

No, that's baby talk.

You aren't weak. You aren't letting the people in hell get you down! You are going to open the door!

You push yourhand towards the door handle and-

"Ouch! Fuck-" You yelp, an electric shock going through your body, causing you to fall backwards onto the hard floor below. Your whole body is on fire, you can't feel your tongue. You can't feel your brain.

A hum accompanies Vox's words.

"You're not going in there." He says, leaning over you as you push yourself to your knees, pressing yourself to the wall. Your head is throbbing.

"I'll beat him to a pulp if he sees you, you know?" Vox laughs, that sickening pseudo-empathetic look covering his flat features. You feel your stomach twist, this time in an awful way, it's like he's draining you of your soul. You want to disappear.

"I don't want to be aggressive," Vox begins as he grips your face harshly, causing tears to well into your eyes. "But your fucking mine, you got that?"

"And I won't let that sleazy prick get his greedy eyes anywhere near you!"

"W-what?" You whimper, pushing his hands from his face and backing away meekly. Vox laughs to himself, red dripping from his two dimensional mouth. He humors you with that gaze of his, eating alive any part of your confidence that may still linger.

"Oh, don't you get it, my dear? You sighed the paperwork," Vox leans down so his eyes can bore into your own, his gums showing in that prideful smile of his. "You belong to me now."

You choke on air, standing to your wobbly feet.

"W-what? I don't un-"

The paperwork. The paperwork you signed to get the job. You didn't read it! You idiot. You fucking idiot! You've ruined your own life. You belong to him..

To Vox.

"You- Shit-!" You turn around on your heels, almost slipping as you speed off into the hallway. You hear his voice echo in your ears.

"You can't run. Hell, you can't hide either!"

This was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake. You want to die. You want to disappear. You want to get as far away from him as possible. You don't even take the elevator down, you run down every single flight of stairs jumping down a couple to save time.

The slip beneath your feet almost makes you topple over as you clutch onto the railing, swinging yourself onto the next flight of stairs. You have to be close to the bottom, right. Right? Yeah. This is fine.

And you were, right, surprisingly. You can almost see the entrance outside. You just have to make it out of this lobby. You just have to make it out of this huge fucking stupid ass lobby! You have to.

All of the sinner's eyes bore at you as you run at top speed to the door. You can't be here. You need to leave immediately. He can't find you If you're far away, right? Just go somewhere without a camera.. it'll be fine.. everything will be fine.

You're so close! Just a few more steps, a few more heavy, headache inducing steps.

You can make it. You just have to believe in yourself, and it'll all work out. Everything will be fine. It just has to be. Hell can't be this cruel, can it?

You're so close to the door you can smell the outside world, hear the cars as they pass, hear the charter hear the-

You choke and fall.onto the ground, a heaviness around your neck and wrists. It buzzes against your skin, making you go light headed. You can barely see it, but it's there. There are handcuffs around your wrists. And a collar around your neck. All of which glowing and buzzing with that electric blue of Vox.

He is right.

You can't run, you can't hide, you can't do anything.

He owns you, he has you. You can't do anything.

You made a mistake.

Maybe hell really is this cruel.

Keeping you forever tethered to this man.

Who knew one mistake would ruin the rest of your eternity.

Serves you right for being so naive.

"Alright now, are we done with our tantrum?" Vox asks.

"Yes mister Vox." You say.

[cup1dt3a]

Prefect’s Revenge

Summary: The dorm leaders and the vice dorm leader of Scarabia have been noticing weird things going on recently. Having no clue why until the Ramshackle prefect reveals their the one behind their recent misfortune at a meeting.

A/N: This is basically just a crack fic of Mc being done with everyone’s bs and proceeds to traumatize the overblot group. I’m slowly getting back into writing. I hope you’re all doing well and are having a wonderful day/night!

-Sincerely Cupid Tea 💖

It started off with Riddle soon noticing something different with his breath. Usually after he brushed his teeth he always felt like his breath was minty fresh. Recently though he soon noticed an odd taste in the back of his mouth. He hadn’t changed anything recently. Nothing in his routine seemed different too. Even confiding in Trey about anything that could be causing his bad breath. Sadly Trey couldn’t even figure out why and just told him to buy some mints to help including trying to brush his teeth more. The red head was soon left to ponder why his breath smelled so bad recently.

Then it was Leona. Sure his dormitory was known for reckless and obnoxious beastman. Though it’s never been this bad. All he wanted to do was sleep that’s it, but for some reason his dorm mates refused to turn down the music or stop partying. He was honestly sick and tired of hearing the blasting music from the lounge area. He’s even had to grumpily get out of his bed late early in the morning to tell them to keep it down. He was almost on the verge of actually begging them to shut the fuck up. He couldn’t even sleep in the botanical garden anymore without Last Friday night playing on repeat in his head once again. Even I’m a Barbie girl was haunting him.

Soon misfortune stuck Azul his coin collection that he locked in the vault wouldn’t open. He even got 2 new coins. Very rare and coins that were easy for anyone to steal and make a fortune off of. He soon tried to pull the door open thinking it was jammed. Sadly that didn’t work at all. He’s used a chainsaw, a lock picker, he even tried using the twins brute strength to open the door. After hours and hours of trying to get the door open in a desperate attempt to get his coin collection he threw himself at the door. Sadly, once again nothing worked. He was currently heaving with tears of frustration just wanting to put his new coins in his collection that he couldn’t get to.

Jamil soon started to notice an odd sensation on his back in the middle of the night. He mistook it for the cold breeze coming into his room due to it being colder at night. Soon it felt like something crawling on his back. But every time he checked there was nothing. He soon let his imagination get the best of him thinking it was spiders crawling up his back. Not to mention the recent spider infestation at his dormitory it seemed that everyday for the past week everyone in the Scarabia dorm was seeing spiders. This only scared the vice house warden more.

A horrific thing had happened in Pomefiore. Vil. The Vil Shoenheit had a pimple on his face. A horrendous pimple was on his face. Wait now it’s 2! Now it’s three!! What is happening!? His skincare routine was impeccable!! There’s no way this should be happening!

Idia was currently panicking. How the hell could someone hack him!? His everything was hacked!! He couldn’t even play with only friend online without the screen glitching out! Who the hell even downloaded so many viruses onto his computer!? How did they even download so many!?

Diasomnia was no better than the rest as a harsh thunderstorm plagued the dormitory. Malleus had lost his tamagochi Gao-Gao Drakon-kun. Which should’ve been impossible, but here we are he was currently tearing his room apart. While the rest of diasombia cowered at Malleus’s rage Lilia, Silver, … mainly Lilia and Silver tried to help him calm down and think rationally before he caused a tornado to run through the campus. Sebek was no help at all as he joined in on the destruction of Malleus’s room determined to find his masters Beloved Gao-Gao Drakon-kun.

Soon they were all called to a house warden meeting to discuss something with Crowley. They all stood a bit awkwardly. Riddle for once kept his mouth shut as he sat at the table before shoving another mint into his mouth for the 12th time today. Leona was on the verge of passing out as he looked down looked as if he was in pain and sleep deprived. Azul looked upset for once as if he was frustrated about something. Jamil looked paranoid as he kept glancing back and forth left to right at the walls occasionally slapping his back. He had come due to Kalim needing to study for an upcoming test due to his grades getting low. Vil on the other hand had on a mask. Idia was aggressively tapping his tablet making an upset groan once again seeing the screen glitch. Malleus on the other hand was impatiently tapping his foot he had no time for this he needed to find Gao-Gao Drakon-Kun. He was thankful to actually be here for once, but he had more important matters at the moment.

Soon and unexpectedly {Y/N} came in to break the silence.

“… Well it’s oddly quiet in here for once.” you chuckled.

None of it found it amusing as they all looked desperate to get out of here.

“ Fine then I’ll cut to the chase… Crowley didn’t invite you all here I did. “ you revealed having them all look at you in confusion.

“Why prefect?” *riddle asked popping another mint into his mouth after cringing smelling his breath.

“Well you see… you guys all remember when you overblotted right?” the atmosphere immediately grew a bit tense.

“I’m still pretty pissed about it to be honest so I thought why not get revenge on all of you.” This immediately caught their attention.

Soon Vil ripped off his mask yelling “ You did this to me!?” The others stared at him in shock his chin and cheeks were covered in red pimples. Well everyone except you this made you chuckle as you nodded.

“ Yep I replaced that cream you use in your face routine with lard.” You giggled as Vil gasped looking at you in disbelief.

“… W-wait what did you do to be then?” Riddle asked covering his mouth this made you sigh.

“ Riddle in all honesty I did this to you a while ago when you acted like a tyrant… I’ll apologize for this one but… I used your tooth brush to clean the toilets in Ramshackle.”he stood there in shock before gagging and running out the room.

The others just looked at you in shock and one by one you revealed what you did to them. For Leona you actually installed speakers outside his room that constantly play Last Friday night and Barbie girl. Turns out Ruggie really will do anything for a quick buck and donuts. Azul you had used super glue on the vaults lock. Idia you had ortho teach you how to hack and he’s surprisingly a very good teacher; you even sent idias search history to his parents. You had actually put a pregnant spider in Jamils room. Last but not least for Malleus you stole his tamagotchi.

“… You did all this for what!?” *Azul had a crazed look on his face as he looked at you in disbelief.

“ Revenge!” You yelled.

[frogchiro]

Omg ur centaur könig got me thinking about a waternymph! reader who takes care of a local waterfall which she had been born into by the soft ripples splashing on the shore of the small lake, small bundles of flowers and cloaking trees practically it shroud it from sight and any passing adventurers. You're alone, the lake can't hold more than a single one of you and you can't help but feel lonely..

SO YOU MAKE IT A POINT TO TAKE TO ANYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT SOMEHOW MANAGES TO WALK PAST OR FIND UR RESERVOIR

You chat up to a passing chimera called Farah, then another few harpies which had flown by looking for her, another pretty nymph, a few satyrs who tried to be cheeky and get you to come out of the water despite your flustered protests. It's that you couldn't, you just find it odd! You protest despite their little teasing tugs, hands wrapped around your bicep to pull you up where instead, you mischievously pull them down and get them doused and their flutes ruined. You even meet a hulky centaur who seems very sleep deprived, with many other nymphs toddling around him! You greet them with an excited smile and you all immediately become BESTIESSS you help them refill their water, and even let them bathe in your spring, you even manage to talk to the massive centaur who is actually quite polite and curious about you. By the time they leave, you're all basically bawling your eyes out and hugging and despite their insisting you join them, u just can't leave ur little spot like that:( they leave and u wave them goodbye with a chirp and a song. You somehow met the formidable minotaur who had managed to escape the labyrinth, scarred and dirty and helped him bathe and drink some water. He returns the favour by catching you a deer for a nice, hearty meal and some wine which had been left by the entrance of the labyrinth he'd left, forgotten offerings. He leaves after a month of recovery and it's just as teary. But it's alright! U don't mind..:(

Until all of a sudden, when you're just happily sunbathing on one of the tilted rocks in the middle of the small lake, napping on your side,, when you're practically jolted awake by arguing! Uh oh, everyone you've ever met is back and arguing on the lake side about who exactly means more to you(in a more comical way, not in a weird boyfriend girlfriend sort of thing?? Idk how to explainnn) like:

"Well, she combed our hair and gave us forehead kisses!" Arguged one of the many nymphs, pointing at the band of satyrs who looked like they were going to shank someone with their flutes. "So? She played in the water with us!" One of satyrs snaps, giving the girl a mean mug. "How stupid! She let me drink from her personal cup, fools!" The chimera yelled. "Yeah, same!" The harpies tried to butt in. "I stayed with her for a month." The minotaur adds as well, his voice rumbly. Alongside them are myriad of other creatures you didn't even know you had made such an impact on, it would make u cry lf happiness if not for the fact they're still arguing. They all are rather passionate about ur happiness, and they all want to be the cause of it:((

And all waternymph! Reader wants to do is just take a nap..but first priority in her mind! Hugs and reunions! Fuck your arguing! You want to hear about everyone's adventurers! So, with a cute smile, u get everyone to set up around the lake and that night is filled with a ton of fun festivities, drinking and a lot of wrestling among different species(for fun and competition, it's actually really funny to watch!)

SORRY FOR THE LONG SPAM BUT THIS HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY MIND FOR SO LONG<<33 I LOVE UR WRITING SO MUCH I JUSTTTTT MWAH MWAH UR AMAZING!!! MUCH LOVE XOXXOO

It's very much okay darling, I don't mind!! Thank you for all the love and I'm sorry for not responding earlier :((

I hope you guys enjoy the read and please send me more of your thoughts on nymph!Reader and CentaurKönig♡♡♡