#he's so meme-able i can't help it

[askfordoodles]

The exact moment Cortex was back on his bullshit 🤣

[eikichi-supremacy]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

[number-one-shadisper-shipper]

So fun fact about my OC Hazard: he deals with voices and hallucinations after being trapped alone on the ARK for so long. It took him a while to get used to dealing with them. They can really mess with him some days, but most of the time he handles it pretty well.

Technically he doesn't actually need to eat (or drink, sleep, or breathe) because he's sustained by his power pack, but he just likes to. He also doesn't actually have teeth (mainly because I thought it was funny that the canon Biolizard doesn't appear to have teeth so I incorporated it) but he can kinda gnaw on stuff.

[qqueenofhades]

I think its genuinely fascinating how Biden has somehow become the bad vibes sin eater for the party. I'm seeing people who were doing the whole "voting doesn't matter both old men are the same" pivot hard into voting as harm reduction. The anti voting rhetoric has COMPLETELY lost The Youths on tiktok. People suddenly remember the good things the Biden administration has done but don't associate Harris with any of the things they didn't like. In my swing state volunteers are signing up in droves. People feel ENERGIZED, the vibe shift pre and post Biden dropping from the race has just been insane

Y'know, that is a... good way of putting it. It's also why I'm quite sure that Biden has probably been planning it for a while. I don't think he was intending to step down, and didn't want to be forced out at the drop of a hat, but after he realized that the circus was never going to stop until he did, he did the honorable fall-on-his-own-sword thing and definitely, DEFINITELY spent some time choreographing this behind the scenes. Because while the roll-out has been very smooth, it could just as easily (as many of us were expecting) have been a total disaster, and that doesn't happen without SOME planning. It's also entirely possible that the campaign staff flipped from Biden to Harris are superhuman, to come up with a massive online roll-out, new branding, new signs (they had plenty of 'em in Wisconsin yesterday), new everything, but I'm guessing it's a combination of both. Biden has spent his entire political career being underestimated, and after we literally made a meme out of Dark Brandon juking the Republicans out of their shoes, we should definitely give credit where credit is due in how masterfully he pulled it off.

Because we have had eight years defined by the central question of Whether The President Is a God King Who Should Serve For Life (the MAGAts obviously think yes), the sheer idea of a president willingly giving up his power BEFORE he had to is also novel and admirable. It's sad that this is the case, but so be it. The Republicans also got a heaping helping of Be Careful What You Wish For that was undoubtedly brilliant; they've been yelling for years that Biden is old and frail and can't serve and should step down. Biden went "lol okay" and gave it to them, and now they're fucked.

Aside from that, on the most basic level, it's far, far easier to see the actual difference in the parties with Harris as the nominee, just because it shows that one party is willing to make progress and reflect the new demographic reality and social mores of America, and the other one is not. Now to be clear, Biden deserves an incredible amount of credit for coming out of retirement (he was ALREADY 77 years old when he became president and had had decades of a long and respected career in public service behind him) to fight, beat Trump, and deliver an incredibly successful presidency. He held the line against authoritarianism at home and abroad, he rescued the trashed American economy and managed a world-leading recovery from Covid, he stood up for democracy, he spent four years filling the benches with liberal judges to reverse even some of the Trump/McConnell hack job, he finally passed comprehensive infrastructure investment and the Green New Deal under the name of the Inflation Reduction Act -- and so on. Many of these priorities had been languishing for decades or were completely trashed under Trump, and he could not have done so much in just 4 years without all that age, skill, and experience. Hence why all the Ageism!!! was (aside from being a Republican/media smear job) dumb. He's able to do the job because he has had decades to study. Turns out that makes you actually pretty damn good at it.

Yes, Biden could not do as much as he wanted or originally planned, had to deal with MAGA Republicans and Joe Manchin/Kyrsten Sinema sabotaging him the whole time (lololol Manchin, possible possessor of the World's Biggest Ego and with Trump around that's saying something, popping out of obscurity to self-righteously announce he would not be willing to be Kamala's VP. YEAH ASSHOLE. LITERALLY NOBODY ASKED YOU. NOBODY WHATSOEVER. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AT LEAST WE WILL SOON NO LONGER HAVE MANCHIN IN THE SENATE). And yes, Biden made some serious mistakes of his own, because he IS from an older generation and a different style of doing politics/different beliefs that no longer resonate with the younger segments of the electorate. But this old white Catholic guy at the age of almost 80 still managed to be the most progressive president ever, coming in at a moment of incredible domestic and international crisis and getting us safely to the other side, and all cynicism, criticizing, and caveating aside, he deserves an incredible amount of credit for that. I mean that absolutely, and I am very grateful.

As I said, willingly relinquishing that power takes guts, and when Biden saw the writing on the wall that he had to sacrifice himself, he took his time, he didn't jump too early, and he didn't jump too late. On the most basic level, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to make the "both parties are not the same" argument when one is running a (comparatively) young brown woman and the other is still running their loathed felonious old demented orange traitor. Most Americans are not plugged into policy minutiae and details. They look at Biden-Trump, they see two old white guys. When you take one of those old white guys away (who goes in a self-sacrificially heroic manner and in sharp contrast with the coup-happy fascist) and put Kamala Harris in there instead, it generates an obvious jolt. People can see for themselves that there is a real difference that doesn't rely on closely reading news and tracking complex policy, because as noted, most Americans simply don't. The brown first-generation American daughter of brown immigrants is a quantifiably different story from "old white guy career politician," which for better or worse is how Biden was seen, especially the old part. We needed that establishment expertise to beat Trump in 2020; I still think Biden is the only one who could have done it, and as noted, we owe him a great debt for doing so.

However.... 2024 is not 2020, and it is not 2016. There has been this HUGE and unbelievable swing to Kamala because she represents the antithesis of what the last eight years of Trump-induced anger, fear, panic, chaos, and hatred has stirred up. That's why people are so ready to rally around her, just as they were (I daresay) around Obama in 2008, after the exhaustion, chaos, war, and mounting economic misery of Bush. Trump has been out of office for the last four years, but his shadow over the American political landscape has been omnipresent. Now people know that we finally have a real chance at getting rid of him forever, and just as Biden was uniquely positioned to capitalize on that in 2020, so Harris is now. Which is why, however tough it will be, she has a real shot at winning. I can guarantee the Republicans know that, and are shit scared. Because the Black Lady Army of Democracy has indeed arrived in force to Get This Shit Done and I don't know about you, but I found that incalculably comforting:

Yikes! All lined up for Kamala pic.twitter.com/Dt4OCDp7WX

— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) July 24, 2024

This, at the most basic level, is what scares fascists the most, it's exactly what we need now, and what Harris is uniquely positioned to mobilize, along with her gangbusters appeal to young voters:

This is the energy we need. This is what Biden saw and planned for and which he launched us into, and where all that experience and age paid off. This is why people, even people otherwise disengaged, disillusioned, or checked out of the tedious and mind-numbering drudgery and depression of American politics, are responding to it. Because it's easy to understand, it offers hope, and it tells a very simple story that is nonetheless long overdue:

Thanks so much, Joe. Go absolutely waste that orange fucker, Kamala. We got your back.

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Demon Brothers - With Flirty Male Reader

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So! While writing this ask I've very quickly figured out that I can't flirt for my life. Thus; this ask was translated into Headcannons instead of my original plan of a split between Headcannons and a Oneshot. I hope you enjoy this because that was a half hour of embarrassment that I can't get back. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

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☕ You're either very brave or very very stupid; there is no in between. The audacity that you have to flirt with the avatar of pride: Lucifer himself is absolutely appalling. This poor overworked demon goes through full 5 minute factory reset just to understand what the fuck you just said to him.

☕ Stop. Please, just have a normal conversation with him. It can be about literally anything— A dream you had last night, the breakfast this morning, Beel's Fangol practice, your homework, how you think he should send Mammon to rehab for his obvious Kleptomaniac tendencies... Lucifer will even indulge in speaking about those weird captioned images and short videos that you call memes; just, please... he understands that he's handsome, but make it quick; he has paperwork to do.

☕ Do you really think that you can flirt your way out of a punishment? First Asmodeus and Diavolo (after Asmodeus spent some time with him, Diavolo attempted to flirt his way out of his Princely duties to take a few hour break) and now you? Goodness, he's surrounded by idiots. You're going to give poor Lucifer gray hairs, you know.

☕ Lucifer may let you bargain your way out of facing his wrath, though. He finds the image of you being ripped from your flirtatious facade and forced to think about things that you could offer him as collateral as he patiently taps his fingers on his desk to be on of the most amusing thing he's seen in almost 200 years. He won't lie; your nervous figiting is pretty entertaining too.

☕ Though... you might want to be a little more careful going forward, lest you catch the avatar of pride on a day that he's particularly stressed; he might just take you up on one of your occasionally more... lewd flirtatious remarks. Perhaps he'll put an end to your flirtatious ways with a well deserved spanking? Lucifer is sure you wouldn't complain, given your very clear attraction to him.

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💰 You broke him; the minute those words left your lips he went completely offline. Of course; Mammon thought that you were just making fun of him at first and tried to see of you'd slip up and insult him like so many others have. However, you only doubled down and now, the poor, flustered avatar of greed can barely look you in the eyes anymore.

💰 Truthfully, Mammon can't help but compare you to Asmodeus with how seem to need to add some sort of flirtatious comment into every sentence. Though you're not as dramatic and not at all cruel like his younger brother. He doesn't see your flirting as a bad thing but he can't help but get jealous when you start flirting with his brothers, Barbatos, Lord Diavolo and that angel. You're only supposed to do that sort of thing with him! He's your first man, dammit!

💰 Flirting your way out of being roped into a money making scheme? Pretty unlikely, believe it or not. When Mammon gets a hint of money he's chasing it and no amout of compliments will get you out of being dragged along for the ride. However, you might be able to flirt your way into getting him to take all the blame when the plan inevitably fails. All you need to do is lay it on thick and he's sold. This demon is madly in love with you, he will do anything you ask and more.

💰 While your first man is okay with taking the fall for you in any situation; he expects you to nurse his sore body back to health after hanging from the rafters for 6 hours again. You'll convince Lucifer to give him back Goldie too, won't you? Of course you would, Mammon doesn't work for free, after all.

💰 Mammon may or may not practice pick-up lines in his bathroom mirror. While he's confident in the solitude of his bathroom; once he's face to face with you his anxiety skyrockets and he stumbles over his words like a drunk man trying to navigate a dark room. You have no idea what you do to him, do you?

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🎮 Sorry, he's dead. Unfortunately, you had to go and flirt with this yucky otaku demon and he keeled over and died from overheating. Leviathan blushed so violently that he liquefied his brain and he fainted right then and there, bonking his head on various objects on his way down. Ah... poor guy...

🎮 Please, please, spare this poor man, he cannot handle it. Leviathan is too precious so go easy on him or he may just never leave that little hidey hole he calls a bedroom ever again. He's not brave enough to face you when you're like that! You may be his Henry but it feels like he's gone in too deep now, he can't even look at his beloved Ruri-Chan like he used to because you wrestled your way into her place! Just what the hell are you doing to him!?

🎮 You want to escape one of his long winded rants on TSL? All you need to do is give Leviathan a lovestruck gaze and his brain is fried; then you can make your escape. Fat Chance! As if he'd ever willing let you opt out of letting him share his one of his passions with you! Malfunctioning or not; he'll keep on talking; whether it's just to continue the conversation or to distract himself from you, we still don't know. You'll let him right? Or... do you think he's just a gross otaku afterall...?

🎮 If you do ever get into trouble with Lucifer for whatever reason; just pop into Levi's room and hide under the blankets in his bathtub while he's distracted by whatever game he's playing at the time. His older brother will never find out and neither will he until he stumbles upon you when he's feeling tired after an excruciatingly long raid. Of course, even after he finds you, he won't tell a soul.

🎮 Leviathan may or may not be hoarding various cosplays of characters with flirtatious personalities that just so happen to be in your size. How he got your measurements for the alleged cosplays is information that he will take to the grave. (He actually just asked Asmodeus but he prefers to seem mysterious about for some reason...)

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📚 Are you sure you wanna do that? Do you really want to take that risk? Truthfully, Satan knows all he has to do is amusedly raise a brow and you'll be quite as a mouse. But he finds it funny that you try to hide your fear of him behind that meaningless banter that you keep spewing. He's almost immune to your antics due to his abundant knowledge of human psychology and the time that he's spent observing you... almost.

📚 You'll have to either say something very shocking or tie it in with cats somehow in order to have an effect on Satan. He hangs around Asmodeus far too often (a personal headcannon of mine is that the two are actually very close) to be very influenced by flirtatious or suggestive remarks too much anymore. Usually he'll either raise a brow at you or just send you a teasing smirk. Though if you play into his vast knowledge and offer him a risqué fact he doesn't know, he'll be very interested.

📚 Wanna try your hand at flirting your way out of being on the receiving end of one if his wrathful outbursts? Are you a fucking idiot? Do you have no self preservation instincts at all?? You best get to steppin'; or else Satan will rip your face right off in his blind rage. To be honest, if you do go and try that, you deserve what you get in return for your stupidity.

📚 If you ever get into trouble with Lucifer, all you need to do is go to Satan and he'll harbor you in his room so long as you keep your hands to yourself. Make sure to let him know whenever you plan on flirting your way out of one of his oldest brother's punishments; he'll bring himself some popcorn. Not only will he get to see you embarrass yourself, he'll also get to see you annoy Lucifer; it's a 2 for 1 deal!

📚 If you catch him in a really good mood, Satan might just flirt back at you. Resting his chin on his palm and looking at you with the softest eyes as he lets loose words so sweet you'd think he was made of sugar. He can be really suave when he wants to, he just has to be in the right mood, ya'know.

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🛍 Look, I'll be blunt; Asmodeus hangs out with literal sex demons on the daily, he's heard everything. He's the avatar of lust; he is unfazed. So when I tell you that this man immediately thinks your just wanting to either have sex or something close to it, I'm serious. There is no if, and, but or in between; you guys are either doing the sideways tango or making out. If you don't want that, don't bother flirting with him.

🛍 Asmodeus is 100% unfazed by your flirting. No matter how sweet or raunchy you get, you'll never pull a big reaction from him. It'll mostly just be little hums of acknowledgement, his well rehearsed smile or bedroom eyes. I don't know what you were expecting, to be honest.

🛍 You think you can flirt your way out of doing anything with Asmo? Haha, no, you silly little human, you.~ He'll give you an airy little giggle and then drag you along to either his bedroom or whatever place that he needed to take you originally. Sometimes he'll strait up ignore you and act like you hadn't even said anything at all. Other times he'll use his charms and make you feel guilty for even thinking about opting out of spending time with him. It's a lose, lose situation; or a win, win depending on how much you like the guy.

🛍 You think he'll let you flirt your way out of one of Lucifer's punishments? Absolutely not! Or, at least, not without him giving you a few pointers first. Truth be told, Asmodeus thinks you have almost no rizz (he still loves you regardless~♡) and as the avatar of lust, he feels like it's his job to fix that! Or... at least try.

🛍 Truthfully, Asmodeus will keep you at an arm's length (for a while until he figures out your true intentions) like he does all of his sex demon friends. He believes you only want him for what they want him for; his body and looks. He won't ever show it but it does take a toll on him. He can breath a sigh of relief when he figures out what you really want from him.

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🍔 It's like talking to a brick wall; Beelzebub doesn't get the implications of your words. And why would he? He's far too innocent and thick headed (in the sweetest way possible) to understand something like that. Why do you even want to flirt with this precious man? Are you trying to corrupt him, you heathen!?

🍔 If you want a flustered Beel, you'll have to drop the flirting all together. Say what you need to say in clear message so he can't confuse any meanings or insinuations even if he tried to. And boom. You'll get a cute, flustered giant with flushed cheeks and an angelic smile. He'll be like a school girl with a crush; shyly fiddling with his fingers and giddily shuffling in place.

🍔 Trying to flirt your way out of sharing your food with Beelzebub? Don't. Give him a portion, you stingy bitch. Flirting aside— how could have the heart to say no to this man, you monster!? Back on topic; flirting will just fly right over his head, so I wouldn't even bother. Just give him some of your food, it's not that hard. You'll get a cute, grinning avatar of gluttony out of it, so what's that harm?

🍔 You're trying to flirt your way out of a punishment from Lucifer? Well... Beel doesn't wanna make his eldest brother mad... but he also doesn't like the idea of not helping you when you need it. He's so torn! What should he do! Unfortunately for you, the poor man will be so caught up in whether he should help you or not, that Lucifer has already found you and now you're hanging from the rafters. Please don't be mad at him, he didn't mean to ignore you, it was just a really hard decision for him!

🍔 When Beelzebub "flirts", he usually offers you some sort of food item that he really wanted to eat. He'll take occasional glances to see if you've eaten it or not and to see your reaction to it so he knows what you like in the future. Accept it! Don't you dare turn down a gift from this sunshine, you'll make him sad!

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🌌 Hey, so... you remember how he killed you via snapping your spine like a toothpick. I really wouldn't recommend flirting with him in any capacity. I don't think Belphegor would appreciate you waking him up to flirt or if he's already awake, which is a rarity in it's self, he'd rather you be quite so he can nap. He's just here to use you as a pillow, not to hear you run your mouth.

🌌 The best time to "flirt" with this slightly homicidal demon is when he decides that you deserve to take a nap with him. (Read as; when he decides to sleep on your bed and use you as a pillow.) However; said flirting must be soft and sweet. Gentle praises in a soft voice. Comb your fingers through his hair. Belphie will drift off to sleep with small smile on his face. Expect him to be in a very flowery mood when he wakes up again.

🌌 You want to attempt to flirt your way out of stargazing in the attic for the nth time in a row? Sure! You do that! In fact, Belphegor thinks that your bones are looking mighty crushable right now. Don't get too ahead of yourself, he's not above physically holding onto you and keeping you in the attic until he's satisfied. You're not getting out of this one, hun.

🌌 On the run from Lucifer? Belphegor's got you covered! Just head on up to the attic while he goes to Satan for a hex he can place on the door to keep the prideful demon away. Anything to fuck with Lucifer will have him come running, so keep him informed, okay?

🌌 On some rare occasions, when you and Belphie are alone together, he can be real sweet to you. Calling you something romantic like his north star or something of the like. However, he quickly ruins the mood with an obnoxious yawn. Whether he does that on purpose or not is up to you.

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Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[yuri-is-online]

Jade falling in love for the first time and being an absolute loser simp about it.

Yuu lives in his head and fantasies rent free; he can't get enough of them. He wrote about them in his diary (one with a lock on it because floyd likes to snoop). He needs them so bad. It's like that one meme where the girl is like "I need him in a way that's concerning to feminism". He's so desperate someone help him.

Bro has innocent little fantasies of them together, like Yuu waking up beside him and peppering his face in sweet little kisses while he tries to hold them closer and convince them to stay in bed for 5 more minutes (it never really does just end up being 5 minutes though), and then his thoughts just take a sharp turn and what was a sweet little daydream has turned into thoughts of him softly and sleepily fucking Yuu into his mattress. He didn't get to go back to sleep but he's not complaining about it if this is the cost he's paying. The world us cold and hard but you're soft and warm and if fantasies are the closest he's getting to that peace then so be it

He is one jealous eel (he is in deep denial about this but us slowly starting to realize just how far deep into this he us and he really doesn't want to acknowledge that), and he get the most jealous over the most innocent shit too. One day he sees Yuu and Epel talking in a language he doesn't recognize and he's like ???, and it turns out it's their native language but it doesn't exist here so he can't learn it dammit. He sees them struggling to do something and look around the library for help, skipping right over him and asking Ace ir Deuce for help. They've even picked Leona for help before him! Seriously he is RIGHT HERE! what can any of them do for Yuu that he can't?!

Jade has to be careful with his merform around them. Partially because everytime Yuu walks into the room his body suddenly decides to cosplay a laser rave, but also because he's been overthinking shit recently. Yuu is a human, painfully so. They're expecting a human courtship and a human marriage and a human family and a human life and. He can't give that to them. Not unless he stays on land forever, which he might be able to do, but realistically he wouldn't want to. So that leaves Yuu coming to the coral sea where it's cold and dark and he just can't see Yuu doing something like that (he's wrong you've wanted to be a mermaid ever since your cousin made you watch H2O when you were like 7), so now he just trys to be as human as possible around you so he doesn't scare you off.

Also there's the fact that every time spring transitions into summer and he's stuck in his merfirm for the next week and a half and now you really can't see him like this because if he sees you then you're going to be dragged into the water so fast with an 12 foot long eel wrapped around you while he desperately tries to stop himself from being too desperate and start rutting against you and- Oh great seven he's so sorry-

Oh, you like that? Your bringing his face to your neck and fuck you smell so nice and he's biting down and tearing your clothes apart with his claws before he knows what's going on and your legs are wrapping around his tail and-

... Grotto. Where's the grotto he had picked out? He was just in it where is it?

Jade asks you for art supplies in one of his birthday lines so he can draw while he hikes. His "diary" is something Floyd took an interest in once upon a time until he saw it full of mushrooms, rocks, and mountains. Jade still puts a lock on it because he finds it funny looking, but there's more than just mushrooms in there now. Need he's not merely in love he's in need of you and it's affecting his ability to function.

If he wakes up alone in his dreams he will find you in the kitchen, trying to hurry up and make your tea so you can so you can surprise him for once. It never works as he's able to trap you against the counter and breathe down your neck, winding himself around you as you laugh the pure music that he thinks your laugh would sound like as he presses into you so you can feel how much he wanted to to be next to you this morning. How troublesome that he had to go find you and draw out his suffering, not to fret. He loves you so, there's no reason to worry that he won't be gentle with how he lowers you down onto the counter, he'll still prepare you softly but he won't be slow in how he takes you-

He's slow to return to wakefulness, he doesn't mind the cold because it makes him feel at home but he does not like being alone. Loving you is a lot like losing you because he becomes so aware of how he is alone. Jade sees himself as a good person to ask for help, he does not think he is wrong in his benevolence but perhaps that's exactly the problem. Perhaps you know what trifling thing he is working towards obtaining and find him unworthy, Epel can speak to you in ways he can't (to ask you to teach him your speech is an option of course but he knows it's too intimate a thing to ask of you now), those fools found you first and treasured you when he made the awful, idiotic mistake of thinking you boring so of course you would see him in the same way. Of course you would feel safer asking things of Leona, he's the one who saved you while Jade was helping Azul drown you and it's not like he did much to make you see him when you stumbled into the Lounge running away from Jamil. You asked Leona for help, you came to them by accident, and Floyd was the one who got to carry you. Something he definitely didn't make fun of him of him for being jealous about. "Ya got to wake your mate up and see what they looked like sleepin' wasn't that nice?" Oh how he hard he wanted to punch his brother for that. So he did. It made him feel much better.

It takes time but he manages to weave his way into your orbit. He gets to see more of you, and he feels conflicted. The octotrio has gotten to see a lot of humanity, and they feel like they have enough of a grasp on them to conduct their business. That's something that certainly contributed to his thinking of you as boring of course but well. The more he sees of you now the more he realizes how little he really knows about humanity and the surface, he might not see the appeal of the surface world but he sees the appeal of you. Still he knows he wouldn't be happy if he stayed on it forever, how could he possibly ask the same of you? There's barely any sunlight under the water and humans need that to survive... he's done his research on corners of the internet he would have just laughed at before he fell for you and he knows what they say. That humans and merfolk only seldom stay together in the way that he wants, that they find his sort of merfolk to be terrifying. It can't help that he was your enemy at first can it...

I sort of like the idea that Yuu's interest in the less than human looking boys would be considered weird. The concept of a monsterfucker isn't foreign exactly but a monster-marry-and-raise-a-family-er is. There is a difference between a relationship and a sexual fantasy and Yuu sees no reason they can't have both, to the chagrin of damn near everyone around them. So it makes you sad to see him hide himself away from you and wonder why he hates his own beauty so much. He keeps his teeth from you, tries to hide his merform too and you just don't understand why. His bioluminescence takes your breath away and fills you with such soft stirrings of attraction you cry into your pillows and write 10 more pages about how desperately you want to drown yourself for just one chance with him! But he's running away from you and now Azul tells you he's going to be out of commission for a solid week with a sigh that you know is theatrical but still worries you. So you confront Jade about it and he seems almost sick, unable to control his transformation as he displays for you winding around the bubble that keeps you breathing outside of Octavinelle's dorm. The lights take your breath away long before he breeches the bubble to press up against you and moans somewhere deep into his throat letting his instincts guide him for just a few blissful seconds before he flops back with a stammer because oh no, not like this never like this please forgive him and run back to-

He's not expecting to be pulled back, you look as hungry as he feels as you guide him to your neck and whine something about how you need him when he's the one supposed to be saying that and scream in radiant joy when he bites. You are trying to wrap around him, to grind into him, babbling in frustration trying to scratch at his shoulders for a grip so you can wind your legs tighter around him-

He pushes the bubble away from the entrance and steers it haphazardly back, there's a place for this. Safe, secluded, and warm he made sure to pick one where a bit of sunlight could still reach the sandy floors and fuel you as he finally takes what you were always willing to give. Slowly and softly until he has you relaxed into his trap and then oh so gently for all the time after.

[inumakis-boo]

May I have some dating Toge Inumaki headcanons? Both sfw and NSFW... If you're comfortable.

TOGE INUMAKI ♫₊˚.🎧 ✧💬

headcanons 𓍢ִ˖ hello and thank you for the requests! i am current rediting all of my posts, so if this looks a little different than when you first saw it, thats the reason why!

anyways, i hope all of you enjoy! and if course, NSFW will be tagged and is written for a female perspective.

safe for work headcanons

- would probably not notice each other the first time you meet, maybe an interested glance but it doesn't really hit until the second or third time that he really sees you

- probably asks for your number just so yall can talk better, and once you do, its an instant connection. he literally wouldnt be able to stop, staying up all night to text you

- texts you out of the blue, and although probably feels embarrassed to double text, he is just that interested in you

- would totally deliever a bag of goodies he bought at the store for you, and additionally maybe offer to make you a lunch to try before he makes it for everyone else

- you comment on one of his t-shirts he wears and he puts it in one of the goodie bags he buys you, doused in his cologne because he wants you to think of him

- would totally send annoying memes and tiktoks and bully you over text, also play 8-ball COMPETITIVELY cause he aint gonna lose to you (he doesnt even pity lose to you)

- shows up unannounced just to kiss you in the door frame of your dorm room as a goodnight and then leaves you there

- that is until you invite him over to your dorm at night and he brings post-it notes and teaches you his semi-bilingual language for easier understanding, and utterly loves you for it

- the talking stage would be him just pining over you cosntantly, writing it all down in journals or in his notes app

- after yall started dating, it is very much a no public affection mostly because he doesnt want anybody to be in your business. especially with his noisy ass friends

- but no matter what, he is going to hold your hand, especially when going on dates and walking around campus at night (would definitely talk u into sneaking out)

- he would be hesistant to kiss you even after yall became offical, probably go a few weeks before you just say it straight that you want him to kiss you and you dont even get it all out before hea pinning you to a door and giving you the best kiss of your life

- would absolutely use his speech on you so you cannot resist it when he tickles you or when you are beating him in a game

- he is not the sappiest guy, but if you start to get sappy over a movie or a sad book, he will rub your back and give you head-kisses to help you feel better

below is not safe for work content. mdni.

not safe for work headcanons

- you find out very quickly into the relationship that he cannot resist a challenge of any kind. therefore, using that to your advantage always works out

- challenging him through text to sneak out of his dorm will work, but ofc he wants a prize at the end (you are on your knees for the next hour)

- the benefit of his speech is that you don't feel any fatigue whatsoever during its use, so that makes it really easy to make your body endure while you deep-throat him over and over.

- it doesn't diminish the pleasure though; being told to stay still while he fondles your chest takes away nothing from the experience, and he knows how much you like having no choice.

- not that even if it was tiring, you wouldn't let him throat-fuck you, the noises he makes are heavenly for someone who can't speak straight, the struggle of watching him grip the bedframe and biting his lips so he doesn't utterly ruin you is SO worth a bruised throat.

- he might be nervous to use his speech on you the first time, but after you make sure that you can handle it, its becomes so much more confident in using it

- he loves making out with you, he loves making your lips red with all the biting, he wants to see them glossy and wet right before he puts his fingers in your mouth (you know where they are going next)

- sexting is so fun, yall thought it might be cringy, but its literally the best when he calls you with a command and he gets to listen to you whimper and moan as he jerks off to it, can be totally unexpected

- "Ride me."

- hand on your thigh when nobody can see, and his pinky is awfully close to your panties that it makes you nervous.

- ofc he can easily make you cum, but will he always let you? not without a cute little 'please' hes not. begging is fun, isnt it?

- lets be honest, the dick game is so good he don't even have to tell you to go to sleep after

- ofc he would definitely lay it down on you exactly how he described through text, and then clean you with special wipes he bought from the store because he aint a dickhead, duh.

I have so many more, especially for different situations, so lmk if you want more! Thank u for all the support as of recently!

bye pookies!

[megapocalypse]

"Oh Binghe doesn't need to be in a relationship he needs to be in therapy" THE WEIRD LITTLESPACE MANBABY × MILF ROLEPLAY IS THE THERAPY !!!

None of you understand, you don't get it: A normal therapist can't fix them because they're fucking insane.

Like SQQ isn't a normal guy who is forced to date an insane guy, he's an insane guy who thinks he's normal dating another insane guy.

Could you imagine SQQ actually going to therapy?

"Oh I'm not grieving for LBH"

"You called out his name multiple times, you haven't eaten or slept, you picked up all the pieces of his broken sword and made a grave-"

"Nonono you don't understand I'm not grieving, I just lost my appetite and I've been bored lately so-"

It's like when you find someone else who's also neurodivergent and has the same hyperfixations as you, you can both telepathically communicate via autistic swag and the spiderman pointing meme. Like the pieces just fit.

Bingqiu are two cringefail losers who fell in love with each other because they're cringefail soulmates. Their cringefail is what binds them together 💕

The teacher/student boymommy roleplay they're doing in public in front of everyone including the sect leader is just their deranged way of therapeutically working through their issues together. SQQ is so repressed he twists himself into a pretzel and shrivels like a prune and LBH is a cringebabypuppyboy yandere chuuni with abandonment issues.

Falling into the routine of milf roleplay is what helps them communicate their issues together; making a long extrapolated monologue over how he'd never abort Binghe is how SQQ is able to communicate that he loves him and accepts his feelings.

If you can't see the boyfailure then idk what to tell you 🙄

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Sacrificing Yourself

Requested: Could we have the characters reacting to reader on a mission and they do that thing like, "You go ahead, I'll catch up!" when actually they plan on sacrificing themselves to the job can get done? - anon

A/N: THIS IS SO ANGSTY I LOVE THIS REQUEST!!! My love, thank you for requesting!!! I feel like that elmo meme where he's surrounded by fire lol. I hope you like it my love!!!! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Butcher knew what you were doing. You urged him to run, to leave, and it hit him. He tried to talk to you, to stop you, but you pushed him, ordered him away. The look in your eyes told him everything. You knew exactly what you were doing. You weren't naive or stupid. You knew you weren't going to make it out of this. You're begging him now. Please, Butcher, go! He knows there's no stopping you. You've made up your mind. So, he does as ordered. And when they hear gunshots, one after the other, until there is an eerie silence, he walks away. Disappears. No one hears from him for weeks. He goes over that day incessantly. Was there really no talking you out of it? You seemed so sure, so tired. Did he take the cowards way out? No one blames him, but he definitely blames himself. He doesn't go to the funeral. He can't bear to look at any of your friends. They'll wanna know what happened. How could he explain it? How could he tell them he knew what you were doing and still let it happen? If it was him, he wouldn't have wanted anyone to talk him out of it.

Hughie can't breathe. You let go of his hand. He thought you were right behind him. Everyone did. But when he turned back, when he called your name, you were still inside. The building was burning, engulfed in flames. Everyone grabbed at him, telling him it would be stupid to go back in, that it was too late. Your supe abilities had started the fire, but if you wanted to stop them, if you wanted to put an end to this fight, then you had to (quite literally) blow the place up. Blow yourself up. Hughie gets away, but it's too late. It happens slowly. The sounds. The building collapses. Hughie bent over, panicking, gasping for air. There's still a chance, he says through ragged breathing, but The Boys share a knowing look. There isn't. Everyone inside was dead. You saved them, but at what cost? He beats himself up about it every day going forward. He still can't believe it. He should have grabbed your hand, he should have known.

Annie blames herself. She should have known. She should have realized. She should have stopped you. You weren't a Supe, you were just selfless. You knew you wouldn't have made it out. Annie could have. She could have if her powers were working. Its her fault. If she could have stopped them, then you wouldn't have done this, you wouldn't have sacrificed yourself. She should have been taking care of you, protecting you, not the other way around. Wasn't that her Jon? Wasn't that the only thing she ever wanted to do? Help people. Take care of them. Take care of you. If you're not safe with her, who is? When she realizes what you've done, it's too late. Hughie and Kimiko try to talk to her, reminding her that there's no way anyone could have known about your plan, but she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to feel better. She wants you back.

M.M. is angry. He didn't know what you were planning. He didn't know the last time he saw you would be the last. You disappeared inside, turned off your ear piece, turned off your phone, and never turned back. He yelled and screamed and begged for you to answer him, but it was too late. By the time he went in alongside The Boys, when it was finally safe to do so, you were dead. So was everyone in the building. He was wary of you at first, being a Supe and all, but he warmed up to you. He cared about you. It wasn't supposed to end like this. It wasn't supposed to end at all. He was angry. At himself for not being able to stop you, for not realizing, but also at you. You'd been so used to relying on yourself. You had a team now. You had Marvin and friends and colleagues to rely on. You didn't have to sacrifice yourself. You didn't have to do this. There was another way. There always was.

Frenchie can't believe it. He knows you didn't come out. He knows everyone inside is dead. And yet, he can't wrap his head around the idea that you're gone. You sacrificed yourself like that. Like it meant nothing. There's a funeral and The Boys are all mourning in their own way, but he's stuck in denial. He waits for you to come bursting through the door, looking for Butcher to yell at or signing with Kimiko. He watches your desk collect dust, wondering why you haven't been around to clean it. They try to talk to him, about you, but gets so hung up on the fact that they're saying everything in past tense, he can't bear to listen. You were right behind him. You were running together, escaping, but when he got out you were nowhere to he found. He tried to go back in, but it was too dangerous. He cursed himself. He still does. There must have been something he could've done to stop you. There must've been something he missed in your last interaction together.

Kimiko doesn't understand. She can't wrap her head around it. She tried to stop you, to scream, but it was too late. You were trying to distract Homelander, letting your friends get away safely. It was a death sentence. And yet, you stepped up and challenged him. He hated you the most. He'd never back down from a fight with you. Frenchie grabbed her and pulled her away. She could have fought back. Why didn't she fight back? By the time everyone is out and far enough away, Homelander gets bored and uses his lasers to slice through you slowly, agonizingly. You spend the seconds you have left grateful. Kimiko and The Boys got away. They're safe now. That's what really mattered. Kimiko shuts down. She's angry and hurt and can't bear to be around anyone who tries to make her feel better. She isolates herself, spending time in your apartment, around your things, waiting for you to come home. You don't. You can't. You never will.

[educatedsimps]

— how hq men push you into the pool, hcs

≪ back to fics masterlist

hq character x gn!reader

a/n: this has been sitting in the drafts for months because i was so lazy to format everything nicely but here it is lol hope u enjoyy

cw: humour, lil bit of fluff

hinata, yamaguchi, oikawa (the first victims tbh) WOULD BE THE ONES GETTING DRAGGED IN AHHAHAHA like they'd try to push you in but you'll be able to turn it against him so easily that he'll be the one flailing in the water within seconds

kuroo, bokuto, tanaka, terushima would bridal carry you and instead of dropping or throwing you in he'd jump in with you so you can't even try to wiggle out of his arms he just canonballs straight into the water LOL

noya, suga, tendo, hanamaki would successfully push you into the water before jumping in himself so you can't even get revenge by pulling him in or splashing water on him 😭

atsumu, kindaichi, lev would get uno reversed AHHAHA like he would think that he and his friends are planning to push you in but the plan was to push him in all long 😂 let us observe a moment of silence as he did not take his phone and airpods out of his pocket.

asahi, daichi, ennoshita, akaashi, kita, iwaizumi, yaku (AKA ALL THE HQ GENTLEMEN) you would have to BEG them to push or throw you in because he couldn't bear to do it unless you really really wanted him to :,) he just doesn't wanna do anything that would make you even the tiniest bit uncomfortable HE'S SUCH A GENTLEMAN JKAHSKJDHKDJF

kageyama, ushijima, osamu, matsukawa doesn't get why anyone would wanna push someone into the pool or be pushed into the pool but either his or your friends would be able to convince him to throw you in (as long as they know you don't mind ofc)

tsukki, sakusa, kenma, suna are nowhere NEAR the water 😂 tsukki does NOT want to get splashed ; sakusa would never willingly be within 10 feet of a "pool full of idiots and water-borne diseases" ; kenma would not risk his game console getting wet ; suna would not risk getting his phone wet from filming all the stupidity going on near the pool

bonus headcanons!

hinata and kageyama would be racing each other into the pool

kuroo would try to drag tsukki and kenma into the water with the help of bokuto and surprisingly, akaashi too HAHAHA

noya would pull your leg underwater to scare you and then drag you down to give you a hug or a kiss underwater to surprise you 🤭

atsumu would be the floating corpse meme

a/n: lmk if i missed out any characters HAHA

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[bambikisss]

Django :: J.Yunho

-> Cop! Yunho x Criminal! Reader

-> Django: ATEEZ

-> After the bounty on you is raised, Yunho is sent out to go looking for you. What happens when he actually does find you outside of a club?

-> Warnings: Use of nicknames (Slut, princess, baby), degradation, spanking, use of handcuffs, car sex, from the back, ROUGH, oral (both reciving), Outlaw Yunho (deserves his own warnings at this point)

A/N: I have returned! I've been excited for ATEEZ's outlaw release, so I immediately thought of cop Yunho with Django. Plus, I just saw a video of Yunho getting mad and I immediately knew I had to write something about him. You are also nicknamed Django in this as well

Not proofread | Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

"Officer Yunho! Hey!" The busy police office doesn't stop Wooyoung from calling him as he enters the office, sighing as he asks what he wants. He had just came back from booking a criminal who punched him in the jaw, so he wasn't in the mood for whatever Wooyoung wanted to gossip about.

Before Wooyoung could show Yunho the meme he found, the police captain enters the room, passing around a wanted poster that was freshly printed. "Alright everyone, all hands on deck! We finally got a good picture to put on the wanted poster of the robber who has been making rounds around the city. She needs to be captured as soon as possible! The citizens of this city are constantly complaining about us not finding her."

Yunho nods at the captain's words, remembering the old lady earlier who was lecturing him while he was putting someone in his backseat. His eyes look over the wanted poster, noticing the now high bounty on you.

WANTED: Y/N AKA Django.

10 thousand dollar bounty! He can't help but scoff, knowing no one would turn someone else in for such a low bounty. He has often told his captain that they needed to raise the amount to actually make the citizens care, but his words were brushed off. His words were always brushed off, despite being one of the top cops who brought in the criminals. As he was preparing to go out on patrol to avoid doing any office work, the captain stopped him, handing him a stack of the wanted posters, giving him the silent look to go put them up all around the city. Yunho didn't even try to object, sighing as he accepting the papers before leaving the office, not wanting anyone else to add to his work load.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "No, ma'am, I cannot arrest him for parking here. This parking spot is not yours as it's public parking." Yunho couldn't help but sigh as he tried to hold back his anger at the woman's yelling, wanting nothing more than to yell back at her. But, he couldn't do that, not when he had this job to help people, even if they were centimeters from his face yelling about something as small as a parking spot.

Once he was finally back in his car, he drove a good bit away so he could be alone for a bit. Even though it was a good bit past midnight, the calls were still rampant. In moments like theses, it often made him wonder why he chose this job. He tossed his head back to rest against the headrest, taking a deep breath to help calm himself before he his phone began to ring, vibrating the many wanted posters of the criminal he still hadn't posted around the city. He answered the phone, returning to his natural position as he listened to Wooyoung.

"I'm currently working on the program for our bodycams, so I'm just calling to let you know that they'll be done for a while. I suggest you get some sleep while you can." Yunho thanked him before hanging up, smiling at the idea of finally being able to be asleep. He'd have to thank Wooyoung later for giving him a heads up.

As he returned to his upright position, he noticed someone walking out of a club, the woman walking right past the cop car. He couldn't help but admire the woman, his eyes moving over her beautiful short dress and heels.

Maybe he could do something else besides sleeping for the time being.

"Excuse me!" he got out of his car, jogging to catch up with the woman. He hoped he wasn't scaring her as he knew how some people felt about the police suddenly approaching them, but he hoped his charms could keep her from feeling so scared. He jogged in front of the woman, smiling as she met his eyes. "Sorry for bothering you, miss, but I-"

Oh. My. God.

Yunho paused as he made eye contact with the woman, his mind going back to the many wanted pictures that sat in the passenger seat of his car. He watched as a slow smile crept onto your lips, realizing that you're Y/N.

He just caught Django.

"You're under arrest, Y/N. Or, could I say Django." You tilted your head as you watched him roughly grab his handcuffs from his belt, the metal glimmering in the moonlight as he roughly grabbed your arm. You mentally cursed yourself for not realizing the car you walked in front of was a cop car, let alone the man you stopped to talk to was a cop. You tried to move from his strong hands, but he only pulled you closer to him, handcuffing your hands behind your back before he moved closer to you, pressing his chest to your back as he said into your ear "finally caught you, bitch." You would usually beat someone up for calling you a bitch, but to hear Yunho say it with a deep voice, filled with anger made your body warm up and your panties dampen. You wouldn't lie; he was hot and if he wasn't pushing you to get into his car, you would've given yourself to him to have his way with you. You were dying to know what was underneath the tight cop clothes that only showed off his muscles, mentally moaning at his roughness as he shoved you into the backseat before slamming the door shut.

Yunho couldn't believe he had been the one to catch you, smirking as he thought about what he could do with that lousy prize money- while it wasn't a lot, it was could be enough for a trip somewhere, maybe even a cruise.

He quickly got into the front seat before he began driving, thinking about what to do with you now that he had you handcuffed in his backseat. He knew that if he brought you back to the precinct, he wouldn't get the credit he deserved, plus you had escaped before so he couldn't bring you there. He bit his lip before pulling over into a empty alleyway, deciding to call his captain to tell him the great news. He looked back at you in the rearview mirror, gasping lightly as he noticed your legs now spread, giving him a perfect view of your now wet lace panties as your head rested back against the headrest. The image of you like that made his mouth water and pants tighten, cursing softly as he ripped his eyes from you. He waited at the tone for his captain to answer before he cursed as his voicemail began to speak. The one time he actually wanted this man to answer the phone, he wasn't. Yunho sighed before cursing softly, remembering that his body cams were off.

Why would he wait for the other police to punish you when he could? You gasped as the backseat door was ripped open, Yunho's hand moving to roughly pull you from the backseat to your knees in front of him, your knees now resting against the wet alleyway ground as he looked down at you with angry eyes. "What the fuck are you-"

"Shut up, slut. I suggest you do as I say or I'll make sure you'll spend the rest of your life behind bars." You jumped at his rough voice, watching as he began to unbuckle his pants, pushing them down his thick thighs to show you his large cock, hard and standing at attention against his stomach. Your mouth couldn't help but water, leaning forward to get a taste before hissing as his hand moved to grip your hair, roughly pulling your hair back so you could see his face, his tongue poking his cheek as his eyes darkened. "No. Good girls get to taste this cock. I don't think I should even let you look at it, let alone taste it." You were about to speak, your words cut off my his hand moving from your hair to roughly grip your cheeks, growling as he heard you whimper at his rough movements. It only made his cock harder, twitching in front of you, making you moan.

"You want this cock, you're going to earn it. Tonight, you belong to me- you are mine. You will answer to me or I will stop and drop you off in the jail in an instant." You nodded at his rough voice, mentally moaning when you hear him chuckling before moving forward, pushing only the head of his cock into your mouth, tossing his head back as your tongue moved around to gather the precum eagerly. Yunho closed his eyes at the feeling of your warm tongue moving over the slit of his cock before he decided he had enough, tossing his head forward to watch as he pushed the rest of his cock into your mouth, going down your throat in a slow pace. He watched as your eyes watered due to his large size, his hips moving in a slow pace as he clicked his tongue, shaking head in disappointment before removing his cock from your mouth.

"You want me to take care of that wet pussy you were showing me earlier, right slut?" you nodded at his question, gasping as his hands forcefully opened your mouth before he roughly pushed his cock back down your throat. "Then hurry up and pleasure me. Show me what you're good for, slut."

You nodded, your fingers digging into your wrist as you began to move your head along his cock, moaning around his long, thick length. You met his eyes while you did so, making Yunho moan as you moaned around him again, making him toss his head back against the wall. You moved faster as he cursed softly, praising you in between his moans.

"There we go, slut, now you're showing me what you're good for, fuck!" His voice raised as his hips began to move, dragging his length all the way out of your mouth before slamming back down your throat, making you choke around his length at his hard pace. You couldn't help but moan at rough he was being with you, squeezing your own legs to offer yourself some pleasure as he continued to fuck your throat at a fast pace. You soon felt his cock twitch, letting you know that he was going to cum. Yunho showed no sign of slowing down, though, moving even faster before roughly stopping his hips against your face as his cum filled your throat, choking out a moan before he slowly pulling out of your mouth as you cough, a mixture of drool and cum dripping down your mouth as you did so.

Yunho smirked before his thumb moved across your skin, gathering the mixture before shoving it back into your mouth, humming as your tongue moved around it to gather the mixture. He felt his cock harden immediately, hooking his thumb into the side of your mouth before helping you stand, ushering you to get back into the car. You carefully crawled in, gasping as you felt his hand meet your ass roughly, surely going to leave a mark as the car door slammed closed behind him. You rested your head against the seat as you felt his hands move around your body, pushing up your already short dress up your waist before kissing around your ass and lower back, whispering praises as he did so.

"I think you earned a bit of a surprise, don't you, princess?" He asked against your lower back, his hands moving to pull down your panties in a slow pace. You nodded, your brain too fuzzy from him face fucking you to think clearly. Yunho smirked at your state before letting his fingers move along your wetness, chuckling as he listened to you mewl at the teasing feeling. "What if my other officers were on duty tonight and caught you walking in front of their car wearing this slutty little dress instead of me, huh? Would you let them get a taste of this pretty pussy like this, princess?" He chuckled as you let out an almost drunk sounding "no, only you!"

"Fuck, yes that feels so good!" You moaned loudly as his finger suddenly plunged into your wet heat, his tongue soon following while he tasted you, making you moan loudly. It seemed like everything about Yunho was big- his cock, his muscles, even his tongue and fingers were big as he ate you out, his fingers moving in you at a rapid pace. He groaned as he felt his cock twitch underneath himself, letting his fingers move from you to lubricate himself before pumping himself, moaning loudly into your wet cut. The sounds and noises you were making for him made him move his own hand faster along his cock, plunging his tongue deeper into you to capture more of your wetness. You tasted so fucking sweet to him, making him want more of you.

It almost made him mad that his bodycam was off- he wanted to be able to watch the footage back of him having you like this.

"C-cum, I'm going to-" Your whimpers were cut off with a noise of disappointment as Yunho immediately removed his tongue from your wet cunt at your words, making you whine louder before yelping as his hand laid another spank to your ass. Before you could ask what the fuck he was doing edging you like this, you gasped at the feeling of his cock slowly pushing it's way into your cunt. Yunho swore it felt better than heaven; the way it wrapped deliciously around his long, thick cock made him toss his head forward with a loud moan, spanking you again. "That's such a nice pussy, baby. Too bad I'm going to ruin it"

That was the only warning you got before he began to pound into you, rocking your body as his hips roughly met the plush of your ass. He grunted as his hands held onto your handcuffed hands for balance, driving his hard cock into you at a fast pace. He tossed his head back as you moaned loudly, the feeling your orgsam soon washing over you as you toss your own head back, coating his cock in your warm cum. You laid against the seat limp as all of your energy left your body, trying to catch your breath as you felt him slowly pull out of you with a wet pop. You winced at the wet sound, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep against the leather seats.

"Don't think I'm done with you, slut. This is your punishment."

You gasped as you felt Yunho pick you up, sitting himself down before having you hover over his hard cock. You whimpered as he slowly sunk you back down onto it, moaning as you noticed the bulge forming in your stomach from how big he was. Once you were fully seated on his cock, Yunho noticed how tried you were, clicking his tongue before slapping your ass, grunting out "you better get to riding slut or that jail is going to be where you're laying your head for the night" "It's hard to ride you with my hands behind my back" You moaned out harshly, letting your head rest back against the front seat as you tried to catch your breath. Yunho chuckled, before leaning forward to kiss your neck, leaving marks along your neck before pulling back from you, holding up the handcuffs that were around your wrists. "There. Now ride me."

You nodded at his demanding voice, placing your hands on his shoulders before bouncing along his cock at a fast pace, moaning loudly at the feeling of his cock grazing your G-spot. Yunho moaned before smashing his lips against yours, gripping your hips to help you move along his cock at a fast pace as the sound filled the car. He let his tongue move to meet yours as you moved faster, panting into the kiss at the feeling of him going so deep into you.

"Fuck, Y/N baby, if you keep riding me like this I'm gonna fill you up with my cum." he couldn't help but laugh breathlessly as he tossed his head forward to let his lips hover over yours as you bounced his hands gripping your breasts now to for leverage as he fucks up into you, saying "and if you make me cum hard enough, I'll let you fucking go. Yeah baby, ride me hard like that and I'll let you go free"

You let his words provide sudden motivation to you as you begin to ride him again, meeting his rough thrusts as you bounce, gripping his hair as you pressed your foreheads against each other, moaning loudly as the wet sounds become louder int he car, the car moving with the force of you two.

"That's it, Y/N, I'm going to cum! You better cum with me, let me fill you up with my fucking cum!" Yunho tossed his head back as he slammed your down on his cock, an almost animalistic moan leaving his mouth as he cums, roughly kissing you as you squeeze around him, both your cums now coating your thighs and his cock. You both panted into the kiss before he carefully helped you to lay back against the leather seat, slowly pulling out of you as your legs shook.

You let your eyes close as you heard the car door close before the car turn on, being too tired to do anything as you slowly fell asleep. You soon woke up to the sound of Yunho on the phone, fully dressed in his police uniform as he spoke to who you figured to be his captain. You fixed your dress as you felt a surge of nervousness fill your body, reaching for the car door, feeling surprised as the car door opens, showing you it was unlocked. As you slipped out from the backseat, you realized Yunho had brought you back to where he had originally found you. You turned to him as he held out his card, his number written on it before he said to whoever he was on the phone with "Did I find Django? Y/N? No, I didn't."

You caught him smirking at you as you accepted the card, smiling back at him as you exited the car, the last thing you hear him say before you close the door being "yes I will go patrol and look for her." You carefully closed the door as he drove away, looking down at the card he gave you with his number on it.

Call me, Django ;)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "Dad. Did you post this."

Lucifer: "Oh my 'selfie' with your dear lovely Maggie?? Why yes I DID! Do you like it!?"

Charlie: "Dad."

Lucifer: "Since she's your loving girlfriend, who you love, I thought gosh! I should really have on my social media page! Make a change from all the ducks, ha ha!"

Charlie: "Dad did you write the- the caption on it?"

Lucifer: "The c- oh yes! Well I wanted everyone to know how much I ADORE my daughter's girlfriend!!"

Charlie: "You wrote-"

Lucifer: "See, the 'bad' here means 'good'! I checked! Bad and bitch are bad on their own, but when you put them together it's like a, er, a double negative making a positive, haha! Maggie's a bad bitch- she's AWESOME- which ahaha I'm sure YOU know since you're dating her-and now all of Hell knows I think so too!!!! ISN'T THAT SWELL!"

Charlie: "But the actual whole caption says-"

Lucifer: "'ME AND THE BAD BITCH I PULLED BY BEING CHARLIE'S DAD'!"

Lucifer: "Aww and the picture turned out so great! Look!"

Lucifer: ".... you don't look super thrilled about it, Char-char."

Charlie: "Pulled, dad... Do you know what 'pulled' can mean exactly, specifically, in THIS context..?"

Lucifer: "... pulled.... into a... hug? Like in the selfie...?"

Charlie: "Dad."

Charlie: (deep breath) "I can't believe I'm saying this..."

Charlie: "You made it sound like you SLEPT WITH my girlfriend."

Lucifer: "......."

Lucifer: "Oh. HA! That's..."

Lucifer: (deflating balloon noises as he literally shrivels up into a crumpled pile of clothes mostly hidden by his hat)

Charlie: "We're not angry!"

Lucifer: ".... i m s o r r y..."

Charlie: "It's okay!!! IT'S FINE. A little mentally scarring and socially mortifying not to mention something our friends won't EVER let us live down, but- well- Just... Just-"

Charlie: "No more social media meme posting without running them past me or Vaggie first, alright!?"

Lucifer: "If I delete the post maybe no one else will see it...."

Charlie: "Everyone in Hell has already seen it, dad."

Lucifer: "..i could delete myself instead"

Charlie: "And HOW would that help?"

Lucifer: "...it would make me feel better..."

Vaggie: "Honestly sir, the most embarrassing part is how you look young enough to be my teenage son."

Charlie: "Thanks, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Check out my stress wrinkles and scars next his baby smooth face. It's like I picked him up from a cradle somewhere."

Charlie: "Please don't joke about cradle robbing my actual father."

Vaggie: "Sorry babe."

Charlie: "I mean I'll NEVER be able to look at ANY of my parents' family portraits the same way ever AGAIN, but thank you for being SO understanding about the rumor you're dating my DAD!"

Vaggie: "Sir, what kinda skin routine are you even doing?"

Lucifer: "room full of rubber ducks and despair"

Charlie: "VAGGIE PLEASE."

Vaggie: "Sweetie, I'm ruffling his hair in the pic. It's hilarious."

Charlie: "I DON'T NEED THE REMINDER!"

Vaggie: "Feels like I'm about to call the king of hell 'kiddo' or something."

Lucifer: (a puddle on the floor) "i thought it was funny too"

Charlie: "Okay.... okay."

Charlie: "You two NEED to find a bonding activity that doesn't TRAUMATIZE me."

Vaggie: "Hmm."

Lucifer: "OH WE COULD-"

Charlie: "Or each other!"

Lucifer: "Oh well then I have nothing!"

Vaggie: "We'll always have that time you fake dated me online, sir someday dad-in-law."

Lucifer: "Our beautifully shared new horrifying past..."

Charlie: "Ha ha HA! Keep this up and either the dad part or the someday in-law part is gonna stop being accurate REAL quick!"

Vaggie: "It will?"

Charlie: "No but I'm trying to threaten you two right now so SHUSH."

[doctorbunny]

More serious summary of the livestream

Unfortunately I can't provide a full translation because the entire time I was watching in autistic excitement like 😊🥰🤩 whilst my brain melted out my ears and didn't pick up on a lot

Luckily, I have a feeling someone will get around to translating this stream eventually since they finally had the BGM on a lower volume so everyone was audible the whole time Without further ado:

We started with introductions seating order is Yamanaka, Yurina (Es' VA), Minami (Amane's VA), Ryouta (Kazui's VA) and DECO (who dyed his hair blonde) They each have one of the 4th anniversary acrylic stands in front of them The actors have their characters but Yamanaka has Haruka and DECO has Muu

Yamanaka admitted to being a Haruka oshi/fan

Then Minami talks about being a Fuuta fan (she calls him cool) and she's handed the Fuuta stand and she pushes the Fuuta and Amane stand next to each other (and jokes about their height difference then imitates Fuuta going zenbu zenbu zenbu!)

But then Yurina sticks her Es stand in between them to separate them

And then they move the Amane stand next to the Kazui one and everyone coos

Before moving Amane and Fuuta back together in front of Minami Then they basically just lift all of the stands up on to the table and continue on

They discuss their thoughts on the trial

Looking at who got voted inno and guilty Minami is happy Amane got inno but has no idea how Mikoto wasn't guilty They note that the audience wasn't very happy with Kotoko for beating up the other prisoners Then they give some thoughts on the MVs from Daisuki to Deep cover They get most excited talking about Cat and Purge March Kazui says that he was able to put the right emotions into Cat because he recorded the voice drama first Yurina and Minami actually caused the microphone to peak with their excited shrieks at one point (ow)

They answer some audience submitted questions One question was answered along the lines of "Be prepared" One was submitted in English and they tried to but couldn't read it Then they got a question (in Japanese) from someone from 韓国/South Korea [side note: I feel like the south korean milgram fandom has gotten more prominent recently, its always been there but it feels bigger than ever and that's pretty cool]

After audience questions they made a few announcements Some things we already knew, the gratte cafe crossover, the Kotoko line stickers, Earbuds are still on sale (and they're making badges and stuff based on the earbud promo art) the 4th anniversary art/acrylici stands literally in front of them Then some new things: Minigram LINE stamps (everyone was especially pleased for the Kazui XP stamp) There's going to be a part 2 to the Karaoke collab (no details yet other than its coming)

They also announce this year's perk for annual members [the pain of being an annual member but living outside of Japan so you can't get these 😭] Blank lamenated cards of the prisoner's interrogations and a whiteboard pen so you can write your own interro questions and answers They bring out the cards for Kazui and Amane and do some examples

"Do you like cake?" "I don't eat it."

"What did you have for lunch today?" "Gyudon." [a beef and rice dish]

Then Minami just writes "Toilet paper" in katakana and everyone laughs (Then she writes Toilet paper rap/lap/wrap and I'm not sure what she means)

Most exciting is script books for the Hallucenation liveshow (scripts of the voice dramas and songs) The live show uses condensed versions of the voice dramas but this is the first time we'll have official transcripts of key moments to help check translations with

Then they start saying that T2 was hellish, but T3 is going to go beyond hell: They're going to send everyone to Super Hell And at this point my brain fries and overloads on eeby deeby memes as they all go back and forth talking about Super Hell

They all start doing their outros/saying goodbye

Yurina talks about upcoming challenges we have as guards meanwhile Yamanaka ominously holds the Haruka stand up in frame

Then that's basically it, not much going on because a lot of stuff (like Hallucenation, the plushes, earbuds) came out right before the 4th anniversary

[phoenixcatch7]

Honestly I'd really like to see a mxtx3 story where wwx and xl work with Sqq to reveal sqq's true backstory and the system to lbh.

I mean, think about it!! One of the biggest problems with scum villain is how even though they get together, unlike the other couples bingqiu is still left with all these huge secrets that massively affect them both. Lbh is left believing he married his mercurial abuser, that his suffering passed some sort of indefinable test that proved him worthy of basic rights. That Sqq threw him in the abyss of his own volition. That Sqq was really sacrificing his life and not faking his death with intent to survive.

Sqq is left knowing all these things but unable to act on them, unable to tell his husband about his own past, unable to explain his actions, never able to fully let his guard down because he's supposed to be shen qingqiu. He can't even tell his own husband his original name!! If he could have, he would have, even if only in the extras!

But can you imagine???

A meeting of bingqiu, wangxian, Hualian, for whatever reason, and as the three (actual) protagonists chat and gossip and get to know each other, as they talk, Sqq is at ease enough to slip up and finds out he can talk about the system to anyone from outside pidw! Not just sqh!! Maybe not completely, but he can mention some, and the other two, concerned for their new friend, are clever enough to tease the rest out. They're horrified. Sqq is resigned but freshly hopeful.

And so begins Mission: Save Sqq's Marriage!

(Sqq would very much like to contend the title but he is out voted.)

I'd just love to see the three of them (with unquestioning aid from their husbands) get up to hijinks and face existential horrors on a quest to help bingqiu get the closure they need. And moshang too, I guess XD.

It'd also be very, very funny to have them all in the middle of the latest traumatic and/or mortifying scene look around at the other two like 'hey, aren't you supposed to be freaking out now? This is normally the part people start screaming' and the other two are like 'I mean I guess?? We've got things to do though' like kings of unflappable repression right there.

(and lbh and lwj having vinegar-offs while hc is sighing dreamily watching his husband make semi decent friends for once)

Like there's a bunch of crossovers but none really scratch that itch, you know? The main characters of all 3 mxtx?? There's so much potential for Truly Unhinged Shenanigans!! Wangxian visiting pidws wife plot filled world and disappearing into the wilderness for a full week, coming back with every single piece of clothing they brought ruined. Hualian go visit mdzs and and no one believes xl is a diety and hc chomping at the bit to kill them for the injustice. Bingqiu going to tgcf and lbh getting mistaken for a calamity, or Sqq falling into the one wife plot kidnapping or something intended for a diety.

But seriously imagine Sqq complaining about something and wwx and xl immediately going 'that's not right! You deserve better!!' and Sqq is like 'no it's fine I'm used to it' and the other two slam their fists on the table like 'no!!! If [husband] was forced to keep that kind of secret I'd hate it!! You two deserve to be properly happy!! Let us help! We can fix this!' and start working with zeal and vigor while Sqq trails along embarrassed half heartedly muttering 'it's not that bad >:/'.

And when it works (presumably some clever loophole they stumbled on) and bingqiu are tearfully kissing they share a low five without looking. Or that one meme where the person getting kissed holds their hand back and their wingman enthusiastically high fives it but there's two wingmen XD!

I don't knowww but it'd be such a good premise! Ripe for character interactions!! Fluff! Crack! Angst! Daytrips and pouring their hearts out to people who'd really understand! Xl wwx and Sqq bestie team up! Meeting moshang! Wwx info dumping about his monster index categorisation to an enthralled Sqq! Xl and Sqq bemoaning etiquette while wwx laughs at them! Xl and wwx having intense discussions about morality and righteousness! All three of them laughing at how oblivious they were about their husbands, each trying to one the other two for Dumb Moments They Should Have Realised (Sqq wins by horrifying the other two)!

Forget cross country kidnappings and being locked in a room! Where is my protagonist trio getting into trouble on a self imposed mission to help their friend! Let their magnetism for insanity shine!!

[another-random-paradise]

Hey!! I was wondering if i could request what you think some housewardens would be like with a S/O who makes a lot of references? Whether it's anime, video game, pop culture etc etc, I don't mind which ones you choose as long as Idia is there!! Thanks :D ur underrated

A man of culture

Thank you so much for the request and the kind words, it really makes my day <3 I mostly kept the references vague, because as much as i love them, i am horrible at coming up with them- Hope you enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------

Reader makes a lot of references

Characters: Idia, Malleus, Cater

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None that i can think off

Idia

-You're on a somewhat big bolder, looking down at him "It's Over, Anakin, I Have the High Ground!" He is down on one knee with a ring, Or at least he would be were he not way to socially anxious he is so in love with you it is unbelievable

-Because it would most likely mean that you not only make references, but would also understand his! He won't have to switch to normie language nor constantly explain everything!!

-I feel like he'd be a lot more comfortable around you, because he feels more 'normal' with you; he knows you won't judge him for his word choice nor his interested, because you do the same!

-Of course his social anxiety won't disappear completely, he is still anxious around you, especially because your important to him, and there might be some days were it's worse and needs time to himself, that of course won't change that he loves you and tries to be as open as he can be with you (Speaking from experience here lol)

-If you two are dating/really close, he'll let you still chill in his room, even during some of his worser days, just don't expect much conversation. 

-Don't be afraid to look over and make a joke or reference based on what he's currently watching/playing, you'll make his day! He might not reply, but you can hear him laugh :)

-On his better days, chances are the two of you are having a date in his room, watching anime or playing video games in wich he definitely won't get competitive, noooo while eating snack and you're just almost exclusively talking in references, just going back and forth-

-In fact, not just during dates, during the few times he is outside it would be the same!.. much to your friends dismay, because most of the time, they can't understand a word you say. Cater might understand one or two from pop culture or if they're popular memes but that's about it

-Ortho also understands because he can just look it up! He very much approves of the two of you, because thanks to you, his brother is outside AND smiling for more than a few seconds, that's an absolute win in his book! :)

Malleus

-He doesn't understand a word you're saying, but he loves you anyway.

-Most of the time he just lets you say your references, happy you're comfortable enough around him to be yourself, even it confuses him!

-If the reference directly impacts the conversation though, or if one just happened to catch his interest. He'll listens very intensely to your explanation, almost scarily so! Not that you would ever find him truly scary <3

-You'd probably hold back from making to many references around him, not wanting to confuse him. When he finds out, he tells you not to. He wants you to be able to be your authentic self, and if he gets to ramble about gargoyles to you, then it's only fair that you get to make as many references as you want, no? He just needs some explanation some times

-That gives you an idea! You make a slideshow about the most common/popular, as well as your favorites, to show to him!.. Turns out he doesn't know what a slideshow is, but he is intrigued!

-So now you have a date teaching him how to make slideshows and help him make one about gargoyles! Now you have a slideshow date at least once a week, where you explain refrences and he talks about slideshows :)

-He is actually really happy about it, it shows your comfortable enough to be yourself around him and your slideshows lets him understand a bit of modern media, making it just a tad bit easier to get along with his classmates!  

Cater

-He either gets all of them or none of them; it really depends on the type of references tbh

-If it's pop culture, then he would get most of it, you'd be the type of couple who flirts through references and memes

-Half of his tweets would just be stuff like "[Insert popular hot character] ain't got nothing on my s/o" and his fans have a field trip every time. He'd also sends you like a bunch of memes and "Happy spouse, Happy life" videos

-So if you do the same? He'd love you even more than he already does! He really loves all your references that he does get, they never fail to make him laugh! You two would just be out and about, till you spot a dog that can jump very high, "Oh wow, that dog can jump higher than super Mario himself." You look to your side and see cater giggling to himself, a genuine smile on his face   

-And if you compliment him through references? Suddenly, he is very flustered!

-It might take him a while to accept the compliments though; You can't tell me he isn't actually insecure behind that influencer act. But once he does, he'll be a flustered mess every time, stuttering while trying to come up with an equally flirty comeback, BUT once he gets used to it, you two will absolutely go back and forth trying to out-reference-complement each other

-If it's anime or video game references, i feel like it'd be a bit different, since he would probably not get them unless they're really mainstream- I don't see him too invested in stuff like that 

-He'll still encourage you though, because he adores the how you'll excitedly compare something to your favorite scene, or how monotonly you'll compare someones stupidity to a character that's known for their stupidity 

-He loves it all, even those that he doesn't understand :)

This was so fun to write!! also, first time writing Cater, kinda nervous

Feedback is welcome, just be nice :)

hope you have a nice day/night!!

[yuri-is-online]

Jade narrating the stuff Yuu is doing sounds funny/cute.

Dear annon, objectively you are correct. Jade narrating things sounds funny and cute in general. Unfortunately I have a cold and just took some nyquil ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ Whoops.

notes:they/them used for Yuu, this is a joke tm inspired by this meme. Please do not take this seriously and look at my masterlist for something not written on drugs.

"The humble shrimp, according to all known laws of hydrodynamics should not be able to swim. Their little legs are much too small to propel them through the ocean." Jade does not say this out loud, instead he continues to prop his head up on his hand and observe the Lounge's newest employee slaving away over the stove, signature reserved smile on his face. "The shrimp of course, swims anyway, because the shrimp does not care about what mages think is impossible."

Not that you are cooking for the lounge (yet) Jade had just invited you over for a little... he had said it was to study. What you had no idea, your patience maybe? He certainly hasn't moved since inviting you to help yourself to the Octavinelle kitchen saying something about how "humans have such interesting uses for leftovers."

"Bullshit." You think, punctuating the curse with a particularly harsh scrape to the pan. "He just didn't want to cook his dinner tonight."

"Imagine if you will, a pan of rice." Jade is idly toying with a spoon, swapping between waving it like a conductor or holding it still to speak into it like an announcer. "Truly a blessing to the hungry masses, a staple food if you will."

"Oh please no." You are tempted to spit in his plate but he would just put an unnecessary type of emphasis on thanking you for the food.

"It is presented to you fried," Jade continues, clearly deeply amused with himself "but this time, it has not been fried by a trustworthy fellow human-"

"You are an eel." You decide to settle your need to be petty by giving him the smaller fork, which does get you a regretful sigh but does not stop Jade's recapping the last episode of Twisted Wonderland.

"But by a shrimp." Jade loves it when you cook for him, not that he really wants to admit to that out loud lest you stop. Or huff and puff in embarrassment, he wants to save that for much later. Sometime when you are back in the Coral Sea and tucked neatly against his chest, safe and very much completely his and not able to run away. "The humble shrimp is proud of it's cooking."

"I am not an it, I am your partner." You are not exactly mad, you are proud of your cooking. And proud that, just like he does for his brother, he will eat all of it and then find something to complain about with a big smile on his face. Jade once again twirls his conductor's spoon, with a hum that sounds sort of like an agreement.

"The shrimp is very proud of their cooking," he amends "and the eel is very happy they want to share with him." You push your food around your plate in embarrassment much to his delight. He can't resist pushing you just a bit further, getting up as if to make for a cup but pausing to kiss your cheek before setting his kettle on the stove so it's ready to repay your favor once dinner is done. "Do be gentle with me," says the eel, heart beating horrifically hard against his chest "I am much more fragile than I look." He very much does not expect to see you darting up to kiss his lips when he turns back from the stove, the shrimp darts away with a smug giggle as the eel stands stunned, savoring the warmth of their affection before he returns to his seat.

Yes, the eel thinks he is keeping this one. Forever, ideally.