#i especially like when he says I never needed anybody in my life I learned the truth too late

[evermore-crow]

“Now I know she'll never leave me

Even as she runs away

She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me

Move me, come what may”

“Evermore”, Beauty and the Beast (2017)

[sugurizz]

𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓/𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 +𝟏𝟖 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐍𝐈!!

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ── Bby Boo Joo is a M E N A C E but I know a lot of us noticed him being all soft and tender (like 1% of the time) but oh well, I can work with that 💪🏼. So here’s some of the ways Jaekyung expresses his…feelings? Ig. kinda his love language.. in a way 💕…

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐒𝐊.

Also thanks for the inspo and sorry ik this ask was sent long ago 🤧. U can call me Hana but I’ve been thinking about Yuna as a new alias…idk.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: established relationship, Physiotherapist F! Reader, shared house, implied power dynamics, hints at sex/ SEXUAL content.

Living in Jaekyung’s penthouse sure made life easier for both of you. It slowly aquainted you to each other, bodies and minds. You slowly got used to his mannerisms, little habits and his little pet-peeves. The sense of pride it gave you to feel like you knew him more than anybody else sure gave you a tiny ego boost. especially him desiring you whenever his body needs it…

♥︎──♥︎ He checks on you randomly. Casually pretending to walk by your room and just making sure you’re there. He does it almost whenever he’s home with you. Sometimes getting a bit sly with it so you don’t really notice him. But you slowly learned it was his way of checking up on you, making sure you’re around him -you know- just in case…

♥︎──♥︎ He hates you not being home, especially when he’s back from overtime training. Whenever he’s feeling stressed, uneasy or just in a sour mood, he’d rather you be around him or at least somewhere he knows.

He made it obvious the one day you were away til a late hour at night. He came home from his evening workout, didn’t find you there and instantly texted you.

‘I’m home. need you to check on my shoulder.’

♥︎──♥︎ He always complains about his feather-light sleep, but snoozes like a baby whenever you’re in his bed. The nights before his matches are surprisingly best for him. He gets the best sleeping quality after he pounds the juices out your poor pussy. He wakes up before you for sure, but his cute disheveled morning hairs are sure proof of a healthy healthy nap.

♥︎──♥︎ He likes it better when you make the food. His cocky ass always claims he’s fine making it himself but eats twice the amount whenever it’s you cooking his meals. He’d pretend he’s tired and not in the mood whenever he craves your cooking cause…his ass can’t simply ask for something lol. Yet he gets all giddy and blushy when his fav smoked eel dish is ready.

♥︎──♥︎ He hates to see you in any pain. Always saying it’s just for himself though…You know, just because he wants you always safe and ready to keep him in peak condition. and NOT because he actually cares or anything.

Yet why does he still gets annoyed at you getting the slightest scratch? He frowns when he notices you wearing band-aids, having a bruise or even some random shallow cuts on your hands and he’d instantly grab your arm, staring into your eyes and asking you how’d you get the injury.

♥︎──♥︎ He likes randomly noticing you…*ahem* underclothed. booty shorts definitely trigger his inner perv. He stares at your ass when you’re standing in the bathroom, doing your skincare freshly out of a quick nighty shower. So damn shameless when he stares. Almost undressing you with the raven eyes and thick lashes. So annoying…

You usually end up taking another shower that same night, only with his thick cum flowing down your thigh the second time :3

♥︎──♥︎ He can sense whenever you’re feeling down…IRONICALLY? Sounds like a joke with Jaekyung being the dick he is LOL but trust me on this one.

He almost has a sixth sense whenever you’re sad, scared, stressed out or just if something inconvenient happens to you in general. He’d never admit it -obviously- but it bugs him if he ever caught you teary-eyed. It gets him uneasy and you can tell when his mood sometimes matches yours..

Uhhh smells like love in here *insert Jaekyung stuffing his nose with toilet paper scraps*

♥︎──♥︎ He hates when you struggle to do something by yourself instead of asking him for help. (paying bills, dealing with packages, paperwork etc…) Says they’re just ‘bs problems’ and he can solve them for you much quicker and better than you could. He’d do it himself or even pays someone to do it instead.

Besides, he’s not kidding when he says he wants all your focus on him so he’d rather everything around you gets taken care of just so you can be there for him at all times.

♥︎──♥︎ He doesn’t mind your outside life but would definitely notice when you’re all cute and dolled-up for some reason.

It’s not only about the dolly looks to be fair. He’d bend you over the kitchen counter in your stained apron and fuck you dumb or suck your tits in your goofy pattern pjs on one of his long sleepless nights…

But the time he notices you spraying your cherry fragance in the bathroom, your perky breasts sticking shyly through your dress and a shiny jewel dangling from your ankle bracelet always gets him tight in his boxers.

He walks in with his glossy eyes, same naugthy grin you see when he’s in that mood..

‘Tomorrow’s my back check-up. Better not be late.’ He steps behind you, arms lazily crossed above his chest.

You nodded and made your way through the entrance, catching a honeyed voice behind you.

‘Hey Doc. I’ll drop you by'...

…His white McLaren got you there way ahead of time. so ahead that you ended up clawing at the door close to you, the little ankle bracelet jiggling over Jaekyung’s back and your shaky arms wrapped shut around his shoulders. Begging him to let you cum in fear of missing on your little night out...

[formyloveoflove]

The Bear S3 and the Choices We Make

Ok. After a second watch of S3, I'm feeling a little bit more optimistic about the future. Trust - it's a sad ending. It's my worst nightmare for Sydney. But there's still hope, and that all lies in what Carmen and Syd decide to do next. Season 3 Spoilers - read at your own risk :)

In S3 E10 Forever, we see our two mains go through a breakthrough. Starting with Carmen, he finally confronts his former boss (who has a name, i think, but fuck him, I ain't using it). It's the first (and only time) that we see Carmen proactively voice his resentment. He avoids his mom (rightfully so imo). He never got the chance with Mikey. But he approaches him, expects the man to have repent (maybe), or at the very least, have a little remorse.

He doesn't. He regrets nothing. In fact, he takes credit for Carmen's success: his hard work, his skills, and his talent. He tells Carmen that he should be thanking him, and that's not even the worst of it. No, for me, it is when he says

Carmen: My life stopped. Chef: That's the point, right? [...] You wanted to be great. You wanted to be excellent. So you got rid of all the bullshit, and you concentrated, and you got focused, and you got great. You got excellent. It worked. You're here. Look at all this

Sound familiar? It should. It's the same sentiment that Carmen said in the Season 2 finale. Remember, he said,

I wasn't here. Right? What the fuck was I thinking? Like I was going to be in a relationship? I'm a fuckin' pyscho. That's why I'm good at what I do. That's how I operate. I am the best because I didn't have any of this fuckin' bullshit, right? I could focus, and I could concentrate.

Carmen's thoughts about himself aren't even his own. They were drilled into him by a man who wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. He was emulating the abusive behaviors and patterns that crushed him, that gave him "uclers, panic attacks, and nightmares" on the people that he cares about. On his sister, on Richie, on Tina and Marcus. and especially on Sydney, who is the only one who knows exactly how bad it can get. He's hurt those closest to him. He hurts them daily. And for what? And for why? For his own ego.

And this realization leads us to Carmen's first cry.

For three whole seasons, we see this man lose his idolized brother to suicide, witness his alcoholic mother physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse him, and experience mental degradation to the point where it affects his physical health. Not once did he shed a tear. This is the first time Carmen Berzatto lets himself cry. And I think this is the best thing for him. If he chooses to acknowledge the err of his ways, turn back course, and begin again, I think The Bear could be what he wanted it to be. He needs to decide to stop running, stop fighting himself and everybody around him. He needs to let go. Let it rip, right?

However, if this is what he decides to do, the cards ultimately fall into Sydney's hands.

If anybody's been through hell and back, it's Ms. Sydney Adamu. All season she's been forced to work in a volatile environment, putting herself between Carmen and whoever's the victim of his anger. She has her ideas shut down, her skills demeaned, and her credit is outright non-existent. Staff keeps quitting; they're not making any money; and Cicero and Co. is doing some shady background shit.

She's trapped, but not really. Not until she signs that Partnership Agreement. But like she told her dad in S2 E9 Omelette, she doesn't think she has another one in her. She can't have The Bear fail like Sheridan Road. She doesn't want to make the same mistakes she did last time. She wants to grow and learn and make her mark on the industry - prove she's not a failure.

She's waiting for Carmen to make good on his promises from The Table Scene, but he's not.

"You deserve my full focus." But his focus is not on her. Remember the Carmen that noticed when something was off with her? Remember the "say more?" or the "what's up with you?" Remember when they worked together, when the menu was truly theirs? Where was Sydney's "margin" moment? What did Carmen do this scene that signaled to Sydney that he was there and present.

"I couldn't do this without you." He does everything without her. Don't even get me started. From the menu to the list of nonnegotiables. Syd gets to make no decisions after being forced to make ALL the decisions. What is she there for? To be Carm's wrangler, his doormat? What has he does to convince her that she is invaluable?

He's egotistical. He's verbally abusive. He's the exact person that she warned him not to be. That he assured her that he wouldn't be in S1 E3 Brigade. She said,

You know I think this place could be so different from all the other places we've been at. But, in order for that to be true, we need to run things different. [...] But you just didn't really listen, and if this is going to work the way I think we both want it to work, I think we should probably try to listen to each other. The reason why I'm here, and not somewhere else or for someone else, is because I think I can stand out here. I can make a difference here. We could share ideas. I could implement things that make this place better. And I don’t wanna be wasting my time, working on another line or tweezing herbs on a dish that I don’t care about.

He didn't follow through the first time, so she left. But now, it's different. She's put her blood, sweat, and tears into this place. She's made a place (a home even) at The Bear. Leaving is not as simple anymore.

S1 Syd would've taken that CDC offer in a heartbeat. But building something and it failing (like The Bear. like Sheridan Road.) is terrifying. Slowly but surely, Carmen has been chipping away at her confidence and her fire. So much so that good things, like The Offer or the review of her risotto from The Beef, don't feel like good things.

Sydney's Panic Attack is HUGE for her character. We see Sydney at her lowest: her most frightening and vulnerable. She's uncertain. She's in a constant state of panic. And the person that she trusted with her fears and insecurities facilitated this, drove her to this point. It's heartbreaking. I cried when I saw it. No one would blame her for jumping ship. At this point, I encourage it (but she has to talk about it, acknowledge it. no running).

Now, if Carmen decides to change his ways, he'd have apologized to Sydney twice without changed actions. She'd have to believe him after many, many broken promises. At this time, she doesn't trust him, can't rely on him. But when having to decide between staying or going, will she try to trust him again?

Will she? Should she?

That's where I'm at so far. I have more thoughts, but I'll write those out when I get back from my weekend trip.

[spoilers-ahead]

okay!! now that it’s not 2am for me, i’m going to post my selkie!jason todd hc’s straight up au apparently! 

(uh. this was supposed to just be a list of hc’s but i got slightly,,,, carried away)

his selkie skin looks like an oversized red hoodie in his human form, and is just warm enough to help him survive new england winters.

when the summer heat becomes unbearable, he slings the hoodie around his waist

alternatively, he just coasts it out underwater. perks of living in a coastal city!

willis todd was a selkie. he used to tell jason stories of what it was like to swim through the big, wide ocean. of how freeing it felt. how different it is, from the smoggy, heavy air of gotham --- different, but both theirs, in their own right.

but to be honest, jason doesn’t remember much about the stories he was told, or really, anything about willis --- he had been in and out of blackgate for most of jason’s life, working for two-face to try and make ends meet, before dying. 

what jason mostly remembers, are the warnings. don’t let anybody know you’re a selkie. don’t let anybody find your skin. they will find it, and they will use it to control you. even decades later, jason would still remember those warnings. 

catherine is the one who teaches him how to swim, who helps him trial-and-error his way into putting his skin on, and learn how to make the transition seamless. 

after she dies, jason spends three months as a seal, to just... exist. forget.   

although jason technically lives on the streets, whenever he can;t find food, whenever he can’t find somewhere warm to sleep, whenever just being human becomes too unbearable, he spends the night as a seal. he ends up spending more time in the ocean, than on land.

that’s not to say he’s very good at being a seal --- he barely knows how to swim, has to learn how to fish the hard way. 

when bruce finds jason stealing his car tires, he marvels over how nice jason’s hoodie is, soft and fluffy even after all of jason’s time on the streets, especially given the condition jason is in, ribs showing from malnutrition, and the worn and raggedy shape of the rest of his stuff.

jason is skittish when he goes to live in the manor, even after a few weeks. he always adopts an expression particularly similar to a cornered wild animal around alfred in particular, alfred, who keeps on trying to take his hoodie away, purportedly to wash it.

alfred eventually gives up on trying to force jason to wash it --- he figures that as jason becomes more comfortable living at the manor, he’ll wind up telling them why he’s so protective over that hoodie, and they can work something out then. 

whenever wayne manor overwhelms jason with how big and how decadently expensive all the decor is, jason runs away, run to the ocean. 

jason doesn’t actually end up telling alfred and bruce that he’s a selkie --- bruce just has a ridiculous amount of motion alarms, which are triggered every time jason ran off. he had followed jason the third night, and saw him transform. 

bruce doesn’t tell jason that he knows, assuming that jason kept this a secret because he didn’t fully trust either of them. he would later learn that he was right in this assumption (a rare win for bruce in terms of emotional awareness)

except jason doesn’t fully trust either of them, even after a few months. bruce impulsively decides to do a few things --- a) tell jason about batman and robin and his crime-fighting secret identity, and b) tell jason he already knows about him being a selkie. 

jason is absolutely bamboozled by the fact that bruce knows, and yet hasn’t tried to take his hoodie to control him, or to stop him from playing in the ocean for a few hours. 

in fact, (under alfred’s encouragement) bruce offers to take him to the ocean during the day, so he can get “a proper night’s rest that a growing young boy such as himself would need”

jason remembers what his father told him, to never trust anyone, never let his guard down. but bruce has known about jason being a selkie for so long, and he didn’t take his hoodie or try anything. of course he can trust bruce. 

and when he tries on the robin costume for the first time, it fits perfectly. just like his hoodie, his second skin. it fits just like magic. 

oh, it’s a little loose in some places, the legacy of dick fucking grayson a little heavy sometimes, but he’ll grow into it. he’ll make himself, if he has to. 

also, jason finds the fact that even though he’s a friggin’ selkie, his callsign is a bird (a robin, no less) incredibly ironic and funny 

being a selkie is actually so useful for vigilantehood. the amount of people who talk freely, openly, and loudly about their drug smuggling plans near the ports is quite frankly, ridiculous.

honestly, towards the end of his robin years, jason remains genuinely surprised nobody catches on to him or his tactics yet. bruce is very proud.  

even though jason is safe, has been safe for three years, and trusts bruce with his life, his skin, and everything, old habits are hard to break. so he has his hoodie on when he goes to find sheila. 

and anyways, he wants to see if sheila is a selkie too. he’s taking biology right now, and they’re learning about punnett squares. jason’s never met another selkie before, other than willis who he barely remembers. there’s a possibility that sheila knows something, anything, so he has to try. 

sheila gets a glint in her eyes when jason mentions that he’s a selkie, tells him that while she’s not one herself, she’s familiar with the myth. she has long suspected that willis was a selkie, she tells him, and she’s glad to have confirmation. 

jason positively vibrates with excitement, can’t wait to ask, to pester his mother (mother!) with questions upon questions until. 

until. 

sheila doesn’t do anything after she gives him to the joker. she just smokes and smokes. and she doesn’t tell the joker about his hoodie, despite how it would have been much easier for the joker to destroy him that way. much more painful too.  

small mercies, he supposes, in between hacking coughs that brings blood bubbling up his lips. 

after he dies, his hoodie is ripped and in tatters from the crowbar, with burns along the edges from the bomb. bruce has to carefully peel it off his body. 

when jason was alive, his magic kept the hoodie in perfect condition, always. even when the rest of him was covered head-to-toe in mud, or dripping sludge from the nasty gotham sewers. 

bruce stares at the same hoodie, blood-soaked and mangled, so incredibly dissonant from how he remembered it on jason, when he was bright, whole, and alive. 

he can’t stand it. the hoodie that was so precious to jason, that was jason, at the core of him, in this state. dirty and ripped and devoid of the magic jason had exuded. 

in a moment of desperation, late at night, bruce asks alfred to teach him how to sew. he doesn’t dare to practice on jason’s beloved hoodie --- instead, he starts with the suits in his closet, grabbing the first one he sees, regardless of price. rips a hole and sews it back together over and over until he perfects his technique. 

and then he washes the fabric gently, using baby fabric cleanser and scrubbing for hours upon hours until the last traces of the deep-set brown stain from jason’s blood washes down the drain.

he painstakingly sews the scraps of fabric back together with a red thread, carefully sourced to match the hoodie to try and make it flow seamlessly like it used to. 

it doesn’t work, not exactly. despite his best efforts, the creases bruce had carefully sewn together are prominent and thick like scars, littering the  soft fabric.

so he gives up. he hangs it over the grandfather clock entrance to the cave in his study. brings it with him every time he visits jason’s grave, because he doesn’t ever want to keep jason’s hoodie away from him, but he also can’t bear for it to get ruined. 

dick visits him. a rare occurrence, these days. 

dick yells at him, as he is wont to do. 

these days, it feels like they spend more time angry at each other than not. dick says that this isn’t right. isn’t fair to anybody, not to alfred, not to himself, definitely not to jason. he rants, jason deserves to be remembered as he was in life, not frozen in death. 

perhaps he is right. bruce is not unaware of the state of violent, cutting stasis he is in, this putrefaction of his life. and he is certainly not unaware of how it is affecting the people around him. dick. alfred. the neighbor’s kid, the one who wants to be robin.   

bruce tries. not for himself, but for tim. for alfred, for dick. even for stephanie brown, who sometimes, when she smirks just right, or says something with just the right twang, he swears he can see jason in her. 

he still can’t bear to put the hoodie away, because jason deserved better than to be forgotten, so he folds it gently and places it in his closet instead. 

he also can’t bear to look at it for very long, so he forces himself to every single day. 

it’s different from the glass case that houses robin’s tattered suit in the cave --- that, is a reminder of how he failed robin. this, this is salt in a constant, stabbing, festering would, reminding him of how he failed his son. 

it was stephanie, that eventually helped him figure out what to do with the hoodie. when she was young, young enough to cry at ripped pants and skinned knees, young enough that her mother hadn’t touched the drugs yet, her mother would dry up her tears, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, before patching her pants up. 

what not many people know, is that before crystal brown set her mind on becoming a nurse, she wanted to be an artist, first. and so she grabs her old set of embroidery needles, and stitched little designs. dogs and cats. stars and planets. tools and gadgets. 

bruce doesn’t react, doesn’t even move, even as stephanie finishes her story. she hangs there awkwardly for a second, stares up at jason’s suit, waiting for him to respond, before shuffling towards the exit of the cave. 

thank you, spoiler, bruce manages to croak out. 

ah, yeah, she says, shrugging lightly while slouching in on herself, any time, boss. she walks out, and bruce watches her go from the reflection on the darkened computer. 

that night, he takes out jason’s hoodie, smooths it out, grabs his threads, and stitches. 

he stitches on constellations, argo navis, for jason’s namesake in the greek myths he had loved so much. a tiny seal, playing with beach balls. little books, with quotes on the sides. a robin, big and bold. 

he tries to make it as true to jason as possible, not just in death and in bruce’s memories, but as he was in life.

jason wakes up abruptly.  

he wakes up in a coffin, cold, alone, and with a gaping hole in his chest. getting dipped in the lazarus pit only made it worse, only made him all the more aware of what he was missing, all the more conscious of it. 

he doesn’t bother trying to learn how to swim with two arms and two legs, instead of two fins and a tail. it doesn’t feel the same. it only reminds him of what he’s lost. 

sometimes, on sleepless nights that happen more often than not, he wonders what would have happened if he still had a hoodie, still could swim. 

if he still was robin. 

and he doesn’t have access to the cave anymore, or to the titan’s tower, or the watchtower, and his memory of the past is still patchy and shitty in some places. 

so in a burst of impulsivity fueled by the person he no longer is, he prints out photos of robin’s costume from the internet and recreates it on his own. 

if his skin is gone, then fine. fine! he’s perfectly perfunctorily aware that nothing about this resurrection of his is natural. if he doesn’t think too much about it, he’ll be alright. his hoodie, his skin, that was something he was born with, a birthright that died with him. 

but robin, robin was something that he helped shape. robin was something that he worked for, changed himself for. 

and the makeshift robin suit --- it doesn’t fit him, not anymore. no, it feels wrong, like a child playing with their parent’s suit. or --- he realizes, perhaps more accurately, like an adult realizing they no longer fit in their favorite clothes. 

and --- and --- what was the point of it all? what was the point, of trying to make bruce proud of him, of getting dick’s approval, of trying to futilely save people over and over again from the same gallery of supervillains who keep on escaping from prison?!

and what was the point of carving out a space for himself if the joker was just going to beat him out of it, and if tim drake was going to insert himself in the hole he left behind?

and then the next thing he knows he’s in titan’s tower hitting tim drake over and over again because who let him? who let him take jason’s role as a son, as a brother, as a hero? how dare he?

but when he’s slit tim’s throat and torn the ‘R’ off his chest, jason doesn’t feel any better. the robin suit still doesn’t fit. his hoodie’s still gone. 

he’s starting to think it never will, not again. 

sometimes, when he gets tired enough to let his mind wander, he wonders what happened to his suit. 

he’s pretty sure he died with it, so either the hoodie is with the joker, batman, or... gone entirely. (it’s not like they found willis’ skin after he died. maybe selkie skins just disappear in a cloud of sea foam once they die, or some little mermaid shit like that)

it’s a cold comfort, that nobody can manipulate him now. nobody can control him --- not even batman. 

(bruce had thought about it. when he first had his suspicious regarding who the red hood was, before he knew there was any trace of the son he once had left. he thought about using the hoodie, using jason’s selkie skin to coerce him, at least to stop murdering people, to stop hurting their family.) 

(he would never go that far, in retrospect, or at least, he doesn’t think he could ever. to do that to jason, betray his trust so thoroughly and completely... but it would be a lie to say that he didn’t consider it.)

bruce reflects on this as jason reveals himself, the joker tied up at his feet with a gun pressed to his head, and venom spitting from his son’s mouth.  

but when he lifts the batarang to hit jason’s gun, or wrist, or anything that’ll force him to drop the gun, he realizes that his hands are shaking. 

and when he throws the batarang, he knows a millisecond after he’s let go, that he’s miscalculated the ricochet. 

so when jason escapes that night, bruce knows he’s fucked up. 

jason goes off the maps, completely. bruce doesn’t know where he is, if he’s safe, if he even made it out of the explosion that night. 

it takes weeks. weeks for bruce to track jason down, from meticulously documenting the dropped threads of where the red hood was pulling strings in the gotham underworld behind the scenes, to tracking security cameras with facial recognition. 

once bruce manages find where he’s staying, make sure he’s safe, he knows what he wants to do. and, he knows what he needs to do. 

jason gets a package in the mail, five weeks after his disasterous meeting with batman and the joker. unmarked, unsigned, no return address. 

when jason opens the box gingerly and carefully, he holds on to his skin for the first time in years. and then, and then, and then --- something right slots into place. his fingers brushed gently over the tiny spotted seal he knows he used to look like, the books he remembered ranting to bruce about for hours on end. 

the robin, on the top left, over his heart, big enough to have changed him, yet small enough to not define him. 

it’s not perfect. it doesn’t even fix anything, not entirely. he still fights with bruce most times he sees him, tries to punch dick in the face, steadfastly ignores tim and steph the entire time. 

but it’s something. it’s something, and the next time nightwing, batman, spoiler, and robin fight a gang on the docks, the red hood gives them a helping hand before jumping back into the ocean and swimming away.

fin!

wow this got long

[vamossainz55]

If you’re taking request, I’ve had this thought in my mind since I saw the language challenge where Charles is so good at Spanish that Carlos is surprised! Can I request something about Charles dating a native spanish speaker reader?

de nosotros quien va hablar? - charles leclerc x sainz!reader

charles starts learning spanish. nobody exactly knows why. rlly short drabble, tw: mentions of sex 18+

“Shhh, cállate,” shhh be quiet. Charles feels your hand envelope his mouth as you press up against him in the tiny closet space. The space is cramped, reminding him of the time he hid to wish Carlos happy birthday. It was barely worth it last time as he could barely feel his legs that time, but now, it feels like it’s a matter of life or death. So he doesn’t care that his back is killing him as he stays slightly crouched down to fit inside with you, or the fact that his neck is probably going to hurt a bit more during the next stint. 

He wasn’t ready yet for Carlos to find out he was dating his little sister. Nope. No fucking way. 

So the closet it is, and he’s grateful that you were quick to recognize Carlos’ footsteps because just as the closet’s doors gently shut, his driver room door was opening. Carlos had never been the type to knock, no matter how often both of you insisted for him to do so. 

If hiding in closets is a thing now- we need to get bigger closets he finds himself thinking. 

“Charles?” Carlos asks, and he can hear Carlos’ footsteps come closer and he can only assume he’s circling around the room. “Joder, donde esta la gente?” He murmurs and Charles shuts his eyes, rests his head to feel the cool wood press against his forehead. He can’t help but think about how fucked it would be if Carlos were to catch him.He’d probably not live to see the next day.

Charles opens his eyes when you move closer, body pressing against his and he has to hold back a groan. It doesn’t help that you’re both barely clothed, Charles only in his briefs and you in lingerie. 

If this had happened to anybody but him he would’ve found it hilarious. It’s terrifying when it’s him though.

Despite the room being silent, Carlos is still in there, and Charles wonders what he’s doing to just stand in his driver’s room when Carlos clearly has his own. His confusion is solved though as soon as he hears Carlos clear his throat. 

The phone ringing is almost what gets you caught because the moment the phone rings Charles can feel your body move but his grip on your waist tightens and this time it’s his turn to cover your mouth. You stare at him with wide eyes and all Charles can do is to shake his head and pray that Carlos finds his own reasoning as to why your phone was ringing.

Carlos only lets it ring once before he hangs up. Charles can hear him walk, probably towards your phone. “Se le olvida todo,” She forgets everything. Carlos mutters under his breath before he turns back around, stepping towards the door. 

You both let out an exhale once the door shuts and you’re first to leave the cramped space, instantly going to the couch. “That was close,” Charles mutters as he follows suit, brows furrowed when he sees you searching around for something. 

Before he can ask though he hears your cry of relief, reaching under the table to grab your dress from the ground, It had been sitting next to your phone on the armrest, probably having fallen when you both were rushing to hide.

“Very,” You say and Charles shivers at the thought of what could have happened. 

____

At first, Charles had agreed to learn Spanish for two reasons: one was because you had agreed to learn French in exchange, and two it was a nice language, so why not? 

He figures it’s not too hard, especially when he’s constantly surrounded by so many Spanish speakers. And honestly, it isn’t too bad. He picks up on words fairly quickly (although the credit should be going to Italian), and he finds the owl on duolingo to be a cool dude. 

He learns of his third reason today though, and it’s not something that he’s the most proud of. 

You’re on Carlos’ side of the garage, wearing a cute floral skirt with a simple white top. There’s a smile on your face, the type of smile that gets your eyes to crinkle.

No matter how much he loves your smile, it’s not the reason why he realizes he wants to learn Spanish, no. The reason is very much looming at the other side of the garage with you, hand on your shoulder and getting you to throw your head back just for a laugh to shake your body. He- being Carlos’ friend was visiting over the weekend, and Charles would be lying if he said he didn’t notice the way he was eyeing you. 

Even with his broken Spanish he understood him when he had greeted you earlier that week, saying you looked hermosa (beautiful) and that te echaba mucho de menos (he missed you so much). He’s learned enough, thank you very much. 

Charles isn’t ashamed for walking towards you at all, the jealousy that is radiating off of him is strong and your eyes instantly meet when you feel it. You smile at him, take a step back and allow Carlos’ friend’s hand to fall off your shoulder. 

“What are you guys laughing about?” He asks, slapping on a smile for good measure, and if he wasn’t jealous before, the feeling almost grows tenfold right then and there. 

“Ah, it was a joke in Spanish, you wouldn’t understand it.” Carlos laughs at his friend's remark, completely missing the way Charles’ smile discreetly fades. You reassure Charles it isn’t that funny, but that unfortunately the joke wouldn’t make sense in English and the topic is let go of but only until after the race.

Charles takes you to his driver’s room and doesn’t even wait for you to take the skirt off and beinding you over the table, he doesn't care that he's still sticky with champagne. 

He also makes sure he doesn’t lose his duolingo streak after that eiher. 

____

“You knew the challenge was going to happen!” Carlos says in disbelief, holding a deck of cards that are in french. He eyes Charles’ cards, sees a much more familiar word. The cameras are on them both, and one of their social media managers lets out a laugh before saying Carlos we didn’t tell any of you. Of course Carlos ignores them and continues talking. “That’s why you were playing duolingo. You’re cheating, that’s cheating!” 

Charles rolls his eyes at Carlos’ words, taps his fingers with the cards as he lets Carlos go on. “Mate, I just wanted to learn!” He defends himself.

Carlos doesn’t believe him and to be frankly honest Charles cannot blame him either. “Sure, spanish is nice or whatever but you never wanted to learn before.” He huffs, looking over his cards as he furrows his brows together, already trying to pronounce the first word on the card. “I’m going to beat you anyways.” He misses the way Charles’ eyes land on you, how his gaze softens before giving you a smile. 

You smile back of course, giving him a discrete wink and a quick thumbs up. 

Carlos loses by five points. He's usually a sore loser, but he's left wordless when you speak up (in french nonetheless) when Charles complains about not winning a prize.

"Ne t'inquiète pas. Je te donnerai ton prix plus tard" Don't worry. I'll give you your prize later.

His french was clearly not the best but he did know enough, thank you very much.

[sunshine-zenith]

I never been this invested in fairly oddparents before. Like I'm so nervous about what's going to happen with Dev and Peri by the end of the season because if they get separated that would be the worst thing for both of them or if Dev gets his memories erased, he won't learn from any of this.

So to distract myself, I'm gonna think of what would happen when this show is renewed for season 2 (and it WILL be if I have anything to say about it!) like:

Peri getting embarrassed by his parents for not acting normal when they're humans in public because it's like winter and they're still in their regular clothes when outside, so he has to poof them up himself.

Dev getting invited to join in on holiday festivities with Hazel's family because we all know that's not gonna happen with Dale.

More time with Hazel, Dev, Jasmine, and Winn as a group.

Even more wacky neighbor shenanigans with Peri involved.

Same, my dear Anon, saaaaame. I remember FOP being one of my favorite shows when I was little (I remember being in elementary school and somehow stumbling upon the first couple seasons online, meaning I could watch it whenever, and to this day I still laugh when I remember the “Where did you get that?”-“Uh…. Internet?” bit, but there’s something so special about these characters I grew up watching and their silly hijinx and sweetheart new godkid getting into serialized shenanigans

I seriously hope we get at least one more season (or even TOH treatment where while the crew is put in the unfair position of having to rush through their story to wrap it up, but at least they get to wrap it up *cries in Infinity Train*)

I want all of the above, especially Dev getting to hang around Hazel’s family and getting exposed to a completely healthy family dynamic, and seeing Hazel, Jasmine, Winn, and Dev as a friend group in O:BT was absolutely delightful (I’m still sad the original show fazed out Chester and AJ over time — give our main character friends and let them keep them!)

Some other potential stories that I’d love to see

Another episode about Hazel’s hair. Diana actually grew on me (metaphorically) by the end and I wouldn’t hate if she became a reoccurring character. Plus it was amazing seeing an episode about a black character’s natural hair without it needing to be A Special Episode. They made that joke about “relaxing” and it almost flew over my head but when I got it I had to pause the episode because of my delighted laughter

An episode where Peri (who finally has his own human disguise) somehow gets roped into solo babysitting Hazel, Dev, Jasmine, and Winn (because for some reason kids really like me and whenever I visit my sister’s family I somehow always end up at an arts and crafts table talking about Ninjago with a bunch of 3-7 year olds and I need Peri to go through the same I Need An Adult — Oh No I Am The Adult emotions)

More Hazel and Antony shenanigans — maybe she visits him at college and wishes she could experience college life herself (knowing the types of jokes this crew likes making, there should be at least one student loans joke that makes you cry as much as it makes you laugh)

For that matter, even if it’s a long shot, I would love an episode that features the Wells Siblings and the Turner-Cosma-Fairywinkle Siblings. One set could have the A plot and the other could have the B plot, or they could all get up to shenanigans together, idc I just know that there are so many obvious parallels between Antony-Hazel and Timmy-Peri (the nearly identical age gap, the close relationship that had a wrench thrown into it when the older sibling grew up and moved away, the way the younger sibling looks up to the older one, etc) that I need to see explored somehow. Plus, maybe we could even get Peri and Antony bonding — since he’s a fairy, the way Peri aged is probably super weird, but developmentally he’s probably close enough to Antony that they could be peers. Give👏Peri👏A👏Friend

Does anybody remember that episode from the original series that was a back door pilot for a Crash Nebula spin off. It was one of my favorites as a kid and I would love if they did something like that with Prime Meridian Love — it could start with Hazel and Dev learning their favorite manga getting an anime adaption and doing everything they can to watch it premiere in English (or the crew could have the majority of the episode in Japanese and even make a sub vs dub joke)

Listen Peri was OP as a baby, and I need them to bring that up somehow. I don’t know, the could have him lose his wand and have to fight whatever the bad guy of the episode is with his bare hands and show off his martial arts skills. I can just picture Dev and Hazel’s reactions and I need to see it and see their faces when they learn he taught himself how to do that as a baby

[trenchcoatimpala]

Cobblestone Love

Hello, everyone! I have just dropped my new fic Cobblestone Love on ao3! Updates will be every Tuesday!

Castiel Novak was raised with only one purpose: to be King. With an arranged marriage between himself and Princess Megan Masters of a neighboring kingdom approaching, he finds himself wanting to spend a night in town, enjoying his freedom before his royal duties catch up to him. Dean Winchester works his farm by day and Ellen's tavern by night trying to make ends meet so he can put his brother, Sam, through medical school. When a mysterious stranger with dark hair and blue eyes, claiming to be a knight for the King, sits down at the bar, Dean's life is forever altered.

You can read a teaser below:

A man plopped down beside Castiel with a nasty leer on his face. “So you’re rich, pretty boy?”

Castiel met the man's gaze, he saw nothing but dishonesty there. “My wealth is of no concern to you.” 

“It is when you come parading in here with gold coins fit for the King. I reckon you could spare a few more coins for some poor folk like me.” 

Castiel let his expression harden. “And I reckon you think you can take it from me if I don’t give it willingly.” 

The man grinned at him, revealing a few missing teeth. “You reckon right.” 

A moment later a pair of hands was on the lapels of his shirt and he was being pulled to his feet. 

“You stop that this instant!” the barkeep woman shouted. “Put him down!” 

“If he can spare you some change then he’s got to have more where that came from. I’m just going to shake him down, see how much more coin he’s got.” Castiel found that amusing, especially since the man threatening him was a great deal shorter than Castiel himself. 

“That would be a horrible mistake on your part,” Castiel said. 

Castiel had been trained to fight by highly respected knights, he could hold his own in a battle and he was very good with a sword. It was a pity he didn’t bring his sword with him, but he’d opted not to as it would have been a dead give away that he was from royal descent. He would have to win the fight by his own fists instead. 

As he was gearing up to get free of the man's grip and send him to the ground, the man was suddenly being ripped away from him. A whiskey rough voice spoke in anger and mockery as Castiel tried to get his wits about him again. 

“You really don’t want to do that, Marv. How many times do I have to kick you out of this bar!” 

Castiel watched as Marv was shoved roughly through the door by a tall man with light brown hair and an impressive set of bow legs. When he turned around again, Castiel felt his breath steal itself away from him. The man was gorgeous, there was no other word for it. His face was dotted with a fair few freckles and his jawline was sharp and decorated with the thinnest layer of scruff. He was dressed in high riding boots with a tan tunic that was tucked into his brown leather pants. He wore a matching leather vest over his tunic and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbow. This man clearly worked with his hands a lot and by the muscles in his arms and back he looked like he was good at it. 

“I’m so sorry about him,” the man said, and there was that perfect voice again. 

“It’s no trouble,” Castiel found himself replying, it was a wonder he’d been able to recover his voice. 

The man extended his hand. “I’m Dean.”

Castiel took it. Calluses brushed against his skin as his palm slid into Dean’s. It was a warm handshake, he found himself rather enjoying the touch. “I’m-” he paused, he shouldn’t say his name. The purpose of his trip outside of castle walls was to go unrecognized and mingle with the common folk to experience their way of living, so that once he took the throne he’d know how best to help them. No, it was best he didn’t reveal who he was, besides, he was never fond of how once anybody learned his identity they felt the need to drop to their knees and genuflect in the name of the crown. It was rather unsettling and it made Castiel uncomfortable to be the receiver of such respect. “James,” he decided to say. It was his middle name and a common enough name to get him through this moment. “But everyone calls me Jimmy.” 

“Well, Jimmy,” Dean said with a smile, “I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your evening. If Ellen or I can get you anything just say the word.” 

Ellen, Castiel took it, was the woman behind the bar. “Thank you very much, Dean.” 

Dean’s cheeks pinked slightly in the lantern light. “Don’t mention it.”

Up close, Castiel could see that Dean’s eyes were the most emerald of green, and he could almost picture himself getting lost in those eyes and never having to worry about leading a kingdom or marrying a girl he was not in love with, nor could he ever be. Alas, his daydreams were for naught, and after tonight he was to return to the castle and take his rightful place as King. 

He sipped slowly at his mead and let himself slip away into the hum of people around him. He wasn’t eavesdropping, per se, but he couldn’t help but hear what people were saying. A young family to his left, with a weary looking mother and an exasperated father, tended to two young children, a boy and a girl. The children were pretending to fight with sticks they must have picked up from the ground outside. Their parents were trying to stop them from running about, but the children bore no mind. 

Head on over to ao3 for the rest :)

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[myesmi]

hi hi! i saw that you were taking requests, and i'd love to hear your personal headcanons about thomas hewitt (and maybe jason voorhees?)!

have a nice day!

THOMAS HEWITT GENERAL HEADCANONS. 𓂅 ˖ ࣪

cw. my personal general headcanons, mentions of insecurity and mental illness, bones / bone collecting, etcetera

note. ahh tysm for the request!! <3 i’m so glad you’d like to hear my personal hcs for ol’ thomas! i hope you enjoy my thoughts, it’s a little all over the place, so apologies! and speaking for jason voorhees, i’ll do another post at a later time for general hcs! comments and reblogs always appreciated! <3

requests are open. masterlist.

thomas is not shy, he’s reserved. he keeps to himself not because he’s particularly shy or afraid, but because he was conditioned to think, ‘ why would anybody be interested? ’

he spent his entire life being aggressively put down by the town he grew up in, as well as his family. charlie, hoyt, while he would defend thomas when needed ( as hewitts stick together ), was not one for kind words. and uncle monty was quiet and not particularly the supportive kind.

so, thomas really only had luda mae to depend on for emotional support. she was the matriarch, and the one whom he cares for the deepest. you mess with luda? you’re messing with him.

in general, thomas is naturally a protective man, if not also an envious man. of course he wants his family to be safe and sound, he was simply surrounded by the fact damn near his entire life. protect your family.

and yet thomas is a deeply jealous, deeply insecure man. his intimidating size is already enough to make him wish he was smaller, however growing up deformed? poor? and he never really did too amazing in school either.

i feel like at some point, thomas came to terms with his physical situation. he had to. there was nothing he could to do change his physical self, so he had to learn how to deal with it. that doesn’t mean he’s any less frightfully insecure, however.

which leads me to believe that he’s quick to annoyance / anger. he is a patient man to an extent when it comes to work and chores, and especially towards his family. but with victims? outsiders? he is extremely quick to anger, or even violence. it comes from a deeply rooted place of discomfort.

thomas only trusts his family. they know what’s best for the hewitt household.

speaking of, while thomas is much larger, and much stronger than everyone in his little family unit, he remains firmly underneath them and their words. he is still their little boy that they took in. hoyt basically runs the household, especially by the point in the movies, he’s taken over as leader.

it doesn’t feel right saying that thomas is afraid of hoyt, but he most certainly does not want to go against him, or make him angry. hoyt has always been an angry man, especially after returning from the war. ( however, it wouldn’t be impossible for thomas to stand up to hoyt, especially if it were for thomas’s s/o. however that could be explained further if anyone wanted to request s/o headcanons or something… <3 )

switching gears, thomas is crafty. of course we know this, he creates his own masks. however, i feel like he just generally likes crafts. thomas is into creating, as it makes him feel… good. he’s creating, instead of destroying. positive to distract from the negative, y’know?

thomas is also a huge workaholic. he spends almost all of his time working around the hewitt farm, doing any type of chore and any type of work his family requests of him.

and however, despite being a workaholic who often strays far into the night, thomas is an early bird. the quiet moments in the mornings are his favorites. no one knows it, but he often wakes up before the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise, sneaking his way through the house to watch through the kitchen window above the sink.

and as for hobbies, bone collecting. of course this one was coming. i feel like thomas, being crafty and spending a lot of his time on the farm doing various tasks, comes across some old animal carcasses time to time. little bones left behind by natural scavengers. so? he collects them. has been since he was a young boy ( which in turn made him an even bigger outcast… ). he has many an old, dusty jar full of various bones from animals such as rabbits, field mice, deer, etcetera. he even was able to collect a few skulls.

also? pressed flowers. thomas would never reveal this to any of his family members, especially hoyt, but when he comes across a wild flower in the field? little clumps of ditzy white flowers growing along the roadside? he’ll carefully pick them, place them in his pocket, and at the end of the day, press them into a little battered, empty journal he found. it’s rather beautiful, his own pretty little slice of the world to admire.

i also think thomas collects whatever little nicknacks he comes across. little old, cracked glass figurines, old metal pieces, discarded cds, interesting little coins, etcetera. he keeps them in a box, hidden in his basement work station most likely, alongside his hidden journal filled with pressed flowers.

© myesmi . . . do not steal, translate, or repost.

[linguist-in-a-blanket]

I saw so many BBC Ghosts fans here trashing the American version that I finally gave up and watched the original.

Well, thanks, I hate it.

Some of the plots were more amusing, yes. I personally liked how the sister story played off. I mean, when in American version we see Jo from Mythic Quest show up with that "nice" smile for one episode, we know what's up from the first second. When it's a seemingly genuine woman who has a couple of episodes to actually earn Alison's and our trust, it's much better. I also liked most of the ones that didn't make it into the remake.

But the core of this premise is characters. And British characters... They're just bad, I'm sorry, they're bad. They are all one note! There is no arc for anybody! Even the most annoying one, Thomas! His whole thing is that he doesn't know what boundaries or consent are, and this goes on for five seasons! Come on, man! Trevor in the American version has charisma, and he comes a long way in just 2 and half seasons we've seen him. This all really makes up for him being a huge jerk: at least he's a lovable jerk, plus he changes. Julian is not lovable at all, Thomas never changes, he's the same since episode 1 till the finale one. Why should we care about two one-note jerks? Flower has a lot about herself aside from being not-all-here: sex-drive, pacifism, commitment issues, basketball, backstories about at least three close people from her life (two boyfriends and brother)... Kitty is just a stupid cutie who is not-all-here, nothing else.

And this drives me to my next point. Such one-note characters without any development simply cannot have a deep connection. Nobody likes each other in this show. I've seen a lot of takes that American ghosts and Sam are friends, while British ghosts and Alison are family. Well, if you mean an abusive family that you can't get away from, that never gives you any good feelings, sure. But do we really need that? Whom of the ghosts does Alison actually like? She hates Thomas and Fanny (never has this realization about her unrealized motherly feelings, and Fanny herself never realizes why she is like she is and how she can change), she doesn't understand Robin (after spending a day with him and learning what he knows, she just gives him to Fanny as a pet), at the very best she pities Kitty. The only one who actually likes Alison as a person is Kitty, but she has her own projections, she is like a duckling who saw the first person near them and said "mommy". She's actually not much better than Thomas in that way, same level of neediness and clinginess, just more lovable than him, and it's not sexual harrassment, more... platonic harrassment? Yay?..

By the way, Alison also doesn't change. Whenever she sees a new ghost in a new place, she is creeped out. This was okay in the beginning, but after living in a house with 9+ ghosts for a couple of years, she is still creeped out by others! Oh, I'm so sorry for your inconvenience, mam, this guy just, you know, didn't have anybody to see him or talk to him in a couple of centuries, but no, no big deal, sure. Sam is fascinated by her gift, she is always happy to explore and talk to new ghosts, Alison just finds it weird and unsettling, even after, what, five years? Girl, you are a fucking superhero! Talk to the invisible people, damn you!

Sure, it could be about not being able to change, especially after you're dead, but then... why? Why should we look at bad people who stay bad, and most importantly, why should we look at them for five seasons?

When Alison weighed pros and cons for staying, she put "ghosts" in both columns. I'm sorry, but why? We almost never see her enjoying their company, almost never see the ghosts helping her (which is petty, but when American ghosts did this for Sam a couple of first times, that's when she warmed up to them)... They are always an incovenience for Alison. Never do they respect any boundaries, all they can do is do one big gesture (song, dance, theater) and move on to being annoying and needy. Never can they hear "no", never can they respect what she asks of them.

Sam says a lot of times she can't leave the ghosts, and I believe her. Even Jay loves the American ghosts! Sam has this whole group of friends and enjoys their company. They all have connections with each other and with the livings. British don't, they move in a pack and look for somebody to annoy, be that Alison or that poor neighbor ghost.

[solarianastrology]

RANDOM ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

These observations are based upon my personal interactions with these placements and energies. As a wise woman I know once said "take what resonates and leave the rest on the shelf, go back to it later, see if it resonates again, if not, throw it away".

I dislike seeing people say in order to be an astrologer you have to have read a certain amount of charts, you have to have certain years of experience.

astrologer (n.)

late 14c., "an observer of the stars," from astrology + -er (1). It drove out French import astrologein, which, had it survived, probably would have yielded *astrologian, as in Chaucer's "The wise Astrologen." Also in Middle English in reference to cocks as announcers of sunrise.

astrologer | Etymology, origin and meaning of astrologer by etymonline

You are all astrologers because you study and observe the stars and never let anyone tell you you're not!

Having Neptune in the 6th house, you'll feel this need to be of service in your career in a healing/helping way whether it be people, pets, plants, you have to help in some way.

Neptune in 6th house natives need a career where they can be in control of their schedule because when it comes to sticking to a traditional routine, they absolutely neglect them. They don't pay attention to time; they don't even remember the date half the time lol. They really live in their own reality. They can easily get used because of their need to help and be of service to others. Meditation comes easy to them. Their job can affect their health if not's not allowing them to express their creativity, healing abilities, nurturing qualities, and spirituality. Great placement for MedSpa workers, nutritional dieticians, herbalists, life coaches, artists, etc.

Chiron conjunct Vertex are here to heal!!!!Life is going to constantly connect you with a lot of "broken" people and you have to ability to influence their inner healing. You will also meet a lot of wise people along the way and will feel like they are fated and meant to be. I've heard someone with this placement say, their Chiron is conjunct Vertex in Sagittarius, and their mentor is a Sagittarius and has taught her so many life changing health habits, life habits, and much more. She said, "It feels like an action movie where the hero is fighting the villain and he's the guru or guide leading her along the way", I was like wow.

3H Mercury, especially in air signs love learning. I've seen them studying and they weren't even in school, they just value information.

Cancer moons never forget anything, watch what you say and do to them.

Anybody else find Virgo risings extremely private about information about them but knowledgeable about how to fix and heal everyone else? Hmm, probably that Scorpio 3H.

Libra moon and risings have to look good out in public, it doesn't matter the occasion. They value fashion.

Ever met a Taurus full of Gemini placements? No one can pull off double life living like these men! They present it so well and will have 2 girlfriends and a boyfriend on the flip side.

Mars in Capricorn natives hate apologizing and being told what to do. Mars in Capricorn could also have a very difficult relationship with the father, he could be angry, aggressive, etc.

Asteroid Prevert 18624 conjunct Saturn could signify your father being a pedophile or pervert, I know this because It's in my chart and my father is a well-known offender.

Make a Libra Mars angry, it'll feel like an Aries Mars wrath... They are so calm and hold so much in to keep away from conflict but once their justice and their peace is compromised, you get an entirely different side, their anger is explosive, also any form of unfairness makes the scales tip.

Cancer Suns with Scorpio Moons are some of the most manipulative people I've ever met, (my mom) included, lol. They feel everything deeply, can feel a sense of change in the mood of a person on instinct. They have a tendency to self-sabotage to avoid vulnerability, but I mean, no judging. Emotional understanding is a superpower, use it correctly cause Pluto does not play Scorpio Moons.

Neptune in the 6th house need to always pay attention to their health and always trust their intuition, that higher self, no matter what. Connect with the foods you eat, study that food's effect on your body, it'll aid in tummy heath of yours.

Why do I mostly find Libra's and Sagittarius together? lol

I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading. Your feedback and opinions are important to me.

[sketch-guardian]

TW FOR MOVIE SPOILERS AND MASSIVE WORD VOMIT

On the horror movie thing I’d feel like hush,your next,purge and the strangers would most likely disturb them in a sense cause all of those movies show what people do with out reason and what they’re willing to do out of greed

In hush the protagonist says to the killer (around the middle or beginning) she’ll keep her mouth shut and not telling anyone cause she doesn’t know the killers face the killer in return just takes off his mask so he now has a reason to kill her

Your next would probably be a movie Uriel would like cause the protagonist makes good decisions however near the end of the middle (it’s been a while since I watch it forgive me if the timing is wrong) we find out it’s all a planned thing between the protagonists boyfriend(?) and his younger brother to get more money out of the life insurance and any money the parents had from their company

Purge is well purge people will do whatever the fuck they want the moment they realize there won’t be consequences they’ll kill,torture kidnap etc each movie of the purge series constantly shows how depraved people can and will become if they had no punishment for their crimes

The strangers would definitely be one of my fav movies cause you never know who is at the door in both movies the killers do it without reason just for fun or in how one of the characters said “because you were home”/“because you answered the door” (this happened in the first or second movie around the ending of the movie I think) cause at the end of the day they kill for fun

Each if these killers have some sort of sadistic joy out of killing

Or hellfest for example is another movie of a smart protagonist (kinda) but we’re not gonna focus on the protagonist much on this one at the end of the movie you see the killer coming home to his daughter which makes it a lot more realistic since you don’t know who it could be it could be since most killers are mundane when they aren’t killing they could be a dad,a neighbor,a coworker just anybody anything besides a killer you wouldn’t know what they do in their free time. And that’s what makes it scary

Teach me your secret for writing so much in such a short time, please😂I need it for my headcanons🙈especially because I fear these days it could take me some days or weeks to reply to asks😥since I have to study, having my degree thesis on September 10th, where I will have to give a speech, I'm terrified😭

Anyway, don't worry, I don't mind spoilers or word vomit, but thanks for mentioning those things for others too, just to be safe☺

Regardless, I think you're right🤔I believe "Hush" would mostly upset Nathaniel (due to the stalking theme) and Domnra (due to the cruelty reminding Domnra of who cursed him with Mobim in the past)

Uriel would like "Your Next" because the protagonist would actually fight back and kick ass and Zuri would like it for the plot and betrayal that lies beneath

"Purge" would mainly disturb Uriel (due to the absent justice) and Remiel (who would feel bad for all those poor souls)

"Strangers" would especially upset Demya (due to the thought of a possible invasion of her nest)

While "Hellfest" would slightly disturb Azul, not so much for the plot, but for the end, because he would try to empathize. If Azul were a parent, he would actually attempt to tone down his demon lifestyle, turning to murder only if necessary, he would also pity the little girl in the movie and what she could become in the future

The only one who wouldn't bat an eye at those movies would be Odon (to be fair, Odon still remains an ancient eldritch horror and it took them a few centuries to learn what empathy or other emotions felt like, they would hardly be shaken up by such themes basically)

[gh0stswh0re]

Nononono pls here me out here me out I’m begging you 🧎🏻‍♀️

Speaking of virgin!Ghost:

Virgin!Ghost who wasn’t interesting of having sex. Ofc few woman had interested of having a one nights stand with him when he is at the bar or tried to flirt with him( mysterious are sexy) and his other old team members told him to give it a chance or he will never know how good it feels to finally feel something like this rather than using his hand.

But when he meets you, this man lets all his sexual needs out on you. His members were right, it feels good but for sure it’s much better with doing it with the right person, you! This man never thought to have sex in his life but now you are here, you give him pleasure he needed, not just sexual but also the intimacy from someone he is close to and knows that they love him and he can trust with his life

Now Speaking of experience! Ghost ( what a whore)

He probably did the deeds when he was in his early 20s. I can imagine that he did here and there quickies becaus he was really frustrated but something he never did was kissing someone while doing it nor giving them any praise. For him it wasn’t making love, it was for him more feeling a quick release and that’s it. Never even saw his face, why should they? But over the years he stopped, he had better things to do and especially he lost the interested if you can say so. it didn’t felt right for him at some point and it didnt gave him any pleasure anymore

But when you both had your first sex, he knew that you were the one he needed all along. The pleasure he only felt for a short time with his flings wasn’t any good like compared to the pleasure he feels with you. This pleasure is better, longer and give him comfort he never had and most importantly it is because of you! You make him feel sooo good and if he could, he would have it done with you so much sooner! Also he maybe had flings ( not that many) but he never ate sb out or fingered them. So he learned more how to please someone on and with you and tbh, he is so happy and glad that he can learn it with you and only you. he only wants to know how to pleasure you and nobody else🫶🏻

If any of his flings recognize him, watch him looking at them with zero interest and especially when they try to hit on him. At this point, he even regret that he had a quickie with them and without shame, he even tells them to fuck off

- virgin anon ??? Jaaijsbshs help

jsjsjsj i totally see where u are coming from, because something similiar happens in my nsfw alphabet (under I = intimacy).

personally i don't ghost considers himself asexual/demisexual (probably doesn't even know what that is) but he definitely doesn't need sex - it's just not his priority. i feel like if he was at a bar, he'd rather get another drink than to go around flirting, looking to get laid.

and if he does have sex, it's to get his frustration out - he isn't violent or pushy and he'll try to make the other person cum, but it feels more like a chore, he just doesn't enjoy it the way others seem to. and he thinks everyone is straight up bullshitting with the "it will happen with the right person" until it actually happens - with you.

as we all know, he's such a simp and would do anything to pleasure you. and he loves studying how your body reacts to his touches, and he'll always make sure to memorize every thing he did that earned him a higher, more careless moan from you. also, he could literally cum on spot just because he's eating you out (nsfw alphabet again, O = oral). he loves how he can open up and relax with you - no judgement from your side. he loves pressing his naked body against yours, nothing sexual just cuddling, the skin to skin contact is so fucking important to him.

it goes without saying that he doesn't even look at anybody else and is definitely the type of guy that says "nah, i have a gf" instead of "sorry, i'm taken" 😼😼

thinking abt everything i said, maybe he is demisexual and just never realized it lol

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Black Heart Part 5

Regulus Black AU

Request: Will you write a Regulus x Reader fic where Regulus is older than the reader? She comes to help the Order and Regulus falls in love with her. The relationship isn’t easy because of the war and Regulus’ denial that he would be a good boyfriend.

Summary: Admitting that he was in love had never been something that Regulus wanted to do. Now that you were in his life, Regulus didn’t know how to react. Should he love you or push you away just like he had everyone else?

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader  

Link to Part 4 

_______

When the mention of twins left Dr. West’s mouth, neither Regulus nor yourself was able to move. You were the first to be able to smile. Regulus, meanwhile, stood looking between the doctor and your body.

Twins…did she really say, twins? Twins as in two? What have I done?

Regulus thought. Had you not been standing near him and the realization that you needed a decent reaction popped into his mind; Regulus may have had a panic attack. It was taking all that he had to stay standing vertically.

I can panic later.

Regulus thought before turning to give you a small smile. He could only hope that you were buying his excited act. Maybe he would be excited later? After he lay down and processed exactly what was happening to him…maybe he would feel better…maybe.

“We are in for it now.”

Regulus replied as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. When you kissed his neck, Regulus’ eyes closed.

She’s happy…I can’t ruin this for her.

Regulus thought as he wrapped an arm around your waist. Kissing the top of your head, Regulus took a few deep breaths.

“Yeah, we are.”

You replied before turning to hash out the rest of the small details about future appointments while Regulus moved to sit down.

After a few minutes, you turned back to Regulus with a small smile. It was no secret to you that he was a wreck. In the time that you had been with Regulus, you had learned that he didn’t like anything that wasn’t within his control. Having twins was definitely way out of his control and obvious comfort range.

Give him some grace. This isn’t something that he was prepared for. He wasn’t prepared for one baby let alone twins.

You thought carefully. Regulus sitting in dead silence wasn’t exactly the reaction that you had been hoping for. You were hoping for something more than “we are in for it now” and dead silence but that was what you got.

“Darling, are you ready to go?”

Regulus nodded, standing up.

The two of you walked in silence. To you, the silence was driving you nuts. You needed something from Regulus. How was he feeling? Was he happy? Surprised? Freaking out…like yourself? You needed something.

If he wasn’t happy, it really made the past few weeks all the more confusing. Regulus seemed happy about the pregnancy until this literal moment.

“He’s only shocked.”

While you repeated your previous thoughts over and over like a hopeful mantra…it wasn’t enough. You needed something from him. If he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be a part of this after all then he needed to let you know. He needed to be honest so he could leave you just as every other man in your life had done.

Maybe it was a dramatic thought but you couldn’t help it. After being left down so many times throughout the years it was hard to be optimistic…especially when the man that you had fallen in love with was acting as if his life was over.

I can do it on my own. I have done everything else on my own so why could I raise a set of twins on my own

You hated the thought of being “on your own.” Why exactly the universe seemed to think that you didn’t need anybody was beyond your power of thinking. Everyone needed someone. Everyone needed someone that they could count on but apparently, you weren’t being given that luxury.

Your eyes rolled up to Regulus’ face as the two of you finally arrived back at Grimmauld Place. He still hadn’t said anything as he reached for the door. His grey eyes were hyper-focused on the door in front of him.

“I forgot the order meeting was here today.”

He commented, softly. When you let go of his hand, Regulus glanced over at you. You weren’t even looking at him at this point.

Fuck, I’ve done it now.

Regulus groaned in his mind. He had hurt your feelings and he knew it. You were hurt and it was all because of him. What should have been a happy day had now officially been shot to hell because of Regulus' inability to know how to react to situations.

“Yeah, I forgot too. Might as well get this over with.”

You replied as you moved to walk inside. Regulus reached for your hand but you quickly moved out of his reach.

“Y/n…”

You shook your head, fighting back tears.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not necessary.”

You quickly walked into another room leaving Regulus alone in the doorway. Regulus sighed miserably before rubbing a hand over his face. He couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck his problem was? For once, he had someone that gave a fuck about him and all he managed to do was hurt you. You hadn’t asked for much. All you wanted was some kind of reaction and he couldn’t give you that.

She’s giving me a family and I acted as if my life were over…good going, Regulus.

He thought miserably. How he was going to fix this, he didn’t know. He had possibly ruined your memory of your first doctor’s appointment.

“So, why are you just standing in the doorway?”

Regulus looked up to see Sirius watching him with his head tilted to the side.

“Because your brother is a mother fucking idiot.”

Regulus commented before rolling his eyes. Sirius was quiet a moment before speaking.

“What did you do?”

Regulus moved to go into the kitchen to find something with alcohol in it. Sirius followed after him totally confused. When you came in nearly in tears, Sirius panicked thinking something was wrong with his niece or nephew-to-be. Now Regulus’ reaction told Sirius it was probably something that his brother caused.

“I reacted badly. I think that I have fucked up big time. God damn, it Sirius! What is wrong with me?”

Regulus sat down and put his head down on the table. Sirius stood blinking.

“I am really confused…”

Regulus sat up instantly.

“She’s having twins. Y/n is having twins and I acted as if the word was ending. I acted like that because…because…this is a really shit time to be going and having one baby...let alone two. This stupid war…and every other god damn piece of garbage that is happening…”

Sirius’ mouth dropped.

“Regulus! Good god! You are supposed to be the smart one! Good time or not, Reg, you fucked her and got her pregnant. If Remus was here, he would probably tell you to stop acting as he did.”

Regulus rubbed a hand over his face.

“I know what I did. It's not that I don’t want the babies…what if I fuck up, Sirius? I don’t know anything about being a father.”

“Oh, you will fuck up. That’s the thing, Regulus. There are no perfect parents. I think you and I have had this conversation before. Look, you are just freaking out because you weren’t expecting twins. To be fair, I would have been shocked too. Answer me this, do you love Y/n?”

Regulus frowned.

“Yes, I do.”

“Have you told her that?”

Sirius questioned. Regulus answering that he loved you told Sirius all that he needed to know. If Regulus didn’t love you, he would have never said it. Telling the truth was one thing that Regulus was freakishly good at.

Regulus, meanwhile, nodded.

He loved you. HE LOVED YOU!

Regulus could easily admit that and it amazed him. It was only a few weeks before that Regulus couldn’t even fathom saying “I love you.” Now here he was able to say the three words that never entered his vocabulary. He loved you. Regulus couldn't help but smile at the thought. He was able to love someone! Love wasn't some figment of imagination. It was real and Regulus was able to feel it.

Sirius stood quietly watching Regulus toy with one of his rings. As much as he wanted to reach out and shake Regulus he knew that he couldn’t. Even if Regulus was rough around the edges there were certain times when he needed some gentleness too. Sirius wanted to reach out and ruffle his brother’s curls but knew that would probably earn him a kick in the balls.

“Regulus, you need to talk to her. I haven’t said this but you need to hear it. Y/n has been good for you. You aren’t so…asshole-like. I mean, yeah, you’re still a pretentious prick at points but you are at least tolerable now. You seem happy for the first time in…years. I haven’t seen you this happy since we were kids.”

Regulus rubbed his temples, feeling sicker to his stomach with each passing moment. Sirius was right. Sirius was right and Regulus knew it. You did make him a better man. Everything about you made him want to be better than he was before.

This was exactly why Regulus never bothered with falling in love before. He knew that he would be a shit boyfriend and today was just proof of it.

“I have to do something.

Regulus grumbled. Sirius nodded, sitting down on the table.

“Yeah, you do and you may want to do it quickly too because Dumbledore went and hired that good-looking doctor that Y/n works with. He apparently has A LOT more than friendship on his mind.”

Regulus sat up straight.

“You mean that son of a bitch that she told me not to worry about? Oh, hell fucking no!”

Regulus got up and stormed out of the room and down the hallway to the dining room. He was ready to mop the floor with the Greek doctor if he had to. If this other man thought that he was going to move in on what was his there was another thing coming. Regulus didn’t care if he was on the “good side” now. He would kill the other man, dismember his body, and hide him in a place where not even the crows could find him.

You looked up when Regulus walked into the room looking highly pissed off. His eyes locked immediately on Nicolas.

Oh bloody hell, now what?

You thought as Regulus walked over. His grey eyes were focused on Nicolas without blinking.

“Y/n, I need to talk to you.”

Regulus said as Nicolas turned to look at him with a snarky smile.

“Y/n, is this your boyfriend?”

You sighed. Being stuck in the middle of a “whose dick is bigger” contest was the last thing that you really wanted to deal with. Regulus had pretty much ruined what started as a great day. Now you were moody and feeling ill. The last thing that you really wanted to deal with was Nicolas and Regulus trying to fight each other.

“Yes, Nicolas this is my boyfriend Regulus.”

Nicolas nodded.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“Funny, I haven’t heard anything about you.”

You closed your eyes before wrapping a hand around Regulus’ wrist. Had you not been feeling like death, moody, and ready to spend the rest of the evening in tears you may have found Regulus’ jealousy somewhat attractive. He stood perfectly straight with his grey eyes looking fiery.

“Regulus, I don’t feel well. Can we go upstairs for a moment?”

You turned to leave but Nicolas’ next comment made both of you freeze.

“So you’re the father of her child? Funny, how before you came along she seemed happy. Now she looks ready to cry. What did you do to completely ruin her?”

Regulus turned around and started in Nicolas’s direction with his wand out. He had a few choice spells that would make the other man shut his fucking trap.

“Regulus, now.”

You snapped before moving forward to tug him along with you.

Once upstairs and in the comfort of your bedroom, you turned to Regulus with a frown on your face.

“You can’t just go off on any man that I talk to.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“What about men that want to fuck you? I saw how he looks at you and it's fucking obvious. You’re having my babies. If some other man thinks that it's okay to flirt with you then I am going to shove my foot up his ass.”

“Oh, so I mean something to you if someone else is looking at me. I see how it is.”

You crossed your arms over your chest as Regulus clenched his hands tightly. He needed to get a grip on himself.

“You do mean something to me.”

“You sure have a funny way of showing it. You are acting like your damn life is over because we are having twins. I understand being in shock but you didn’t even say anything other than we are in for it. What kind of response is that? Is this how it's going to be? I don’t even think that I matter to you at all unless my legs are spread for you. Regulus, I am not being stuck in some loveless relationship just because we are having kids together.”

Regulus held a hand up.

“I never said that I didn’t love you.”

When you started laughing, Regulus couldn’t help but be confused. Was what he said funny? He didn’t think so.

“Yeah, you never have told me how you felt at all.”

You sat down on the bed unable to look at Regulus’ pain-filled face. Running a hand through your hair, you wanted nothing more than to be alone.

“Y/n…”

Regulus started but stopped when you held a hand up to silence him.

“Regulus, just leave me alone. The day has already been ruined and I can’t deal with you right now.”

“Fine.”

Regulus said coldly before turning and storming out of the room. He didn’t want to leave you but he felt as if he had no choice at the moment.

“Master Regulus?”

Regulus heard Kreacher’s voice as he reached the bottom step. He turned to see Kreacher coming after him.

“Yes, Kreacher?”

Regulus asked. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling…rage… embarrassment…maybe anger at himself for his poor actions of the day.

“Master Regulus, Kreacher wanted to let you know that Mistress Y/n is crying. Kreacher isn’t sure what is wrong but she seems very upset.”

Regulus wanted to yell. He wanted to cram his fist through a wall...that wouldn’t fix anything, however.

“Just let her cry and leave me alone.”

Regulus turned and walked into the sitting room slamming the door behind him without another word.

______

@amelie-black @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @acciosiriusblack @siriuslyceleste @darkenwolfie @livshifts  @ell0ra-br3kk3r @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @justfinishthis @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @rogue-nyx88 @readtomeregulus @starsval @daddyslittlevillain @panpride @f4iryluvy @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @s-we-e-t-t-ea @buttercup-beeee @saramaple @i-love-scott-mccall @padf00ts-l0ver @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @goldensunshineshit @haroldpotterson @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @mentally-unstable-hoe @yousmellllikecaca @lostarc24 @play-morezeppelin @ravenhood2792 @un-lovesherself @rubyroscoe1 @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @melaninnbarbie @criminalyetminimal @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @deanwherescas @li0nh34rt @tas898 @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel-blog @marichromatic @untoldshortsofthefandoms @mycuddlycorner

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

hi, i'm trying to figure out my sexuality, I feel like i'm bi but i feel that a part of me is aroace. How did y'all figure it out?

"Well, things were a little different back when I lived. Sexuality wasn't talked about much, at least not openly. I was just expected to like women and want to sleep with them, and I did, so for a while, I didn't give it much thought, even if I did notice an attractive man every now and then. It wasn't till I caught my first girlfriend cheating on me with a friend and I realized I was jealous of both of them, that I realized I actually like guys in just the same way."

"And what happened with that first girlfriend?"

"Oh, we kept dating. I just joined in whenever they hooked up. Pretended it was for her, but really, it was the best sex ever was with her. So, what about you? I know you only recently got the terms for it, but...?"

"As you said, I was only recently told that I am apparently 'aroace'. My sexuality was something that I never gave much thought to! I never understood why people got so worked up over the thought of sex, or what qualified as 'attractive'. And I was never drawn to anybody romantically, either. Though, would you mind if we got Mel to weigh in here? As she is both bi and asexual, she might be able to speak more to your particular dilemma."

So yeah, not sure I'm the best person to speak on this, considering it took me so long to figure it out myself, but I'll just share some of my story. I remember when I was really young, worrying that there was something wrong with my heart because I wasn't sure it recognized that some people were girls, and so I wasn't supposed to like them like that. But I had a hard time distinguishing if what I felt about certain female friends was different from some of my male crushes. I grew up in a very small, conservative town, so the concept of sexuality was not something that was ever explained to me, and so I just shut down that part of myself.

Skip forward to getting married at 24 and being a little disappointed I never got the chance to kiss a girl, and realizing that whenever I have a couple drinks, I can't stop staring at all the women in the bar. Eventually, I determined that I am, in fact, bi. I talked to my best friend about it (who's also bi), and she was just like 'yeah, I know'.

Now, not to get too TMI, but my sex life with my husband was never what I felt like it should be (as ridiculous of a concept it is to have a standard for how it 'should be'). A bit of context - waiting till marriage was a value for both of us, so this was a whole new world to explore. I questioned if it was due to past trauma I experienced, or if I just had low sex drive. I liked the idea of sex, but it didn't feel like this amazing thing that was integral to a relationship. I also really didn't understand the way my husband naturally reacts when he sees me naked, and I wondered if there was something wrong with me, or if I was a bad wife, for not responding the same to him. Like, I can appreciate the naked body (especially boobs, cause they're great), but I'm more enjoying the aesthetics and not necessarily having a reaction to it.

First I started to think I might be demi, since I do like the idea of sex, I have some kinks, and I genuinely want to have sex with my husband, it's just not nearly as important to me as it is to him. But then I started writing radiostatic fanfic and exploring that dynamic, and I write Alastor as being willing to have sex, despite being ace because it fills a different need for him (i.e. kinky torture time), and I realized that that was actually much closer to my own experience. And if you're curious, learning this about myself and being able to communicate the way I feel with my husband has done wonders for our sex life, and marriage in general.

I don't know if any of that was helpful at all. I can't as well weigh in on the aro side of things, except to say, what has always attracted me to a person the most, male or female, is the vibes they put off. I think romantic attraction is something that's difficult to define, but the fact that I'm able to be attracted to someone in that sense is how I land on biromantic for myself instead of aromantic.

I know this was a long post, but as someone who has only fully discovered my sexuality at 30, it's something that I'm kind of passionate about. I hope it helps!

[stargazer-sims]

Grandpa’s Advice

Nikolai made his way down the road from Stan and Milena’s house to Windward Shore Estates, where he’s having coffee and cake and a much-needed talk with his grandfather in the community’s shared back garden.

Grandpa: So that’s the latest, is it? Little Mishka wants a baby?

Nikolai: He loves that you call him ‘little Mishka’, you know. He says it makes him feel cute.

Grandpa: See, that’s why I love him. One of the reasons, anyway. Absolute giant who looks like he could take out a bear with one good punch, and yet his big preoccupation is with being cute. Not a shred of that toxic masculinity the young people are always talking about. You have to admire that.

Nikolai: I do admire it, actually. Not to be one of those annoying people who can’t stop bragging about their spouse, but he’s the sweetest, most gentle person I’ve ever known. And he is cute.

Grandpa: It’s never annoying to praise your spouse, Kolya. I might’ve stayed married and managed to keep my daughters in my life if I’d learned that sooner, among other things. You go ahead and talk up that man of yours as much as you want. I'll never complain.

Nikolai: Thanks, Grandpa.

Grandpa: You're welcome. Now, about this baby—

Nikolai: Yeah, about that. Mishka really wants us to grow our family, but I don’t know what to do, and it’s stressing me out a little.

Grandpa: More than a little, unless I miss my guess.

Nikolai: Okay, a lot. And nobody’s taking me seriously.

Grandpa: Nobody?

Nikolai: Uncle Stan. I told him when I was over there this morning, and he laughed.

Grandpa: In that case, ‘nobody’ seems accurate.

Nikolai: Grandpa!

Grandpa: My advice is to pay no attention to anybody who laughs at you when you’re being serious. Now, listen to me for a minute. You said Mishka wants a baby, but before you start trying to decide what to do about it, perhaps the first question you should be asking yourself is whether or not you want a baby.

Nikolai: I think I do. No… I do, but the idea of having a baby isn’t the problem. It’s how we’re going to have him.

Grandpa: What do you mean? Mishka’s adopted, isn’t he? I assume he’d want to adopt too.

Nikolai: He doesn’t want to adopt. Not as a first option, at least.

Grandpa : Oh?

Nikolai: He wants to have a science baby. That’s what Stan was laughing about. I think the mental image of pregnant men was too much for him. Either that, or he thinks it isn’t even real.

Grandpa: A science baby?

Nikolai: Yeah. It’s a real thing. Look, they have a website. Let me show you.

Grandpa: No need to show me. I know it’s real. know all about it.

Nikolai: Really?

Grandpa: It's a brilliant feat of bio-engineering, especially the extracorporeal gestation.

Nikolai: You know about that?

Grandpa: Biochemist, remember? I may be retired, but old chemists never die.

Nikolai: They just stop reacting.

Grandpa:*laughing* Glad to see you were paying attention back in the day when I was learning the concept of dad jokes.

Nikolai: That one is old, Grandpa. But you're not, obviously, since you're clearly still reacting.

Grandpa: I'd have to be literally dead not to react to the possibility of a great-grandchild.

Nikolai: Fair point.

Grandpa: So, which way does Mishka want to go with the science baby process?

Nikolai: I'm not sure he knows. He's just as fascinated with the whole science lab baby situation as you are, but somehow I get the feeling he'd like to actually, you know... carry it himself.

Grandpa: And you're uncomfortable with that.

Nikolai: Wouldn't you be?

Grandpa: Me personally? No, but I suppose my comfort level would also depend on my partner.

Nikolai: Well, my partner is delicate.

Grandpa: *nodding* Not a word i imagine most people would apply to him, but I can see that, yes.

Nikolai: He hates being sick, and his pain tolerance is practically non-existent, and he gets anxious about everything. I'm really worried it'd be too much for him. Besides, the thought of him being sick or in pain is like... Every time I think about it, it's like somebody's squeezing my heart in their fist.

Grandpa: Mishka might end up surprising you. It's amazing what people will put themselves through to have a child.

Nikolai: But... I don't want him to have to put himself through anything like that. Plus, I read on the website that there are risks. What if something went wrong?

Grandpa: You don't gain anything if you don't take risks. Isn't that something that old crank Stan always used to tell you?

Nikolai: That 'old crank' is younger than you.

Grandpa: Age is a state of mind. Anyway, I don't think he's wrong about the risk-taking, even if I'm annoyed at him for laughing at you.

Nikolai: Grandpa, this isn't a skating competition. It was one thing to take risks on the ice that only affected me in the end, but I'm not willing to take risks with the man I love or our possible future baby. But, on the other hand, I don't want to tell Mishka we can't do it, just because I'm scared.

Grandpa: You'll have to make up your mind sooner rather than later. I don't know if there's an age cut-off for the process, but didn't Mishka turn thirty-six back in February?

Nikolai: Yeah, and I know I need to make a decision soon, but I want to make the right decision, and... I don't know what that is.

Grandpa: I'll tell you my opinion, for what it's worth.

Nikolai: Please, tell me. What would you do if you were me?

Grandpa: If I were you, and you're really serious about having a child, I'd try to steer Mishka in the direction of extracorporeal gestion. The 'science lab baby situation' as you put it.

Nikolai: Okay, but why? Mishka's going to ask, and I'll have to be able to explain it to him.

Grandpa: Because it eliminates almost all the things you're worried about. Little Mishka wouldn't have to risk his heath or be in any pain, and you wouldn't have to stress yourself out about anything happening to him or the baby. Not to mention, lab babies grow in a completely clean and controlled environment, so the risk to them is extremely low, and the failure rate is less than two percent, last I read. So, you do all the initial screening and sample collection and whatnot, let the scientists do their thing, and nine months later, you're parents.

Nikolai: You make it sound so easy.

Grandpa: It would be easier for the two of you, since neither of you would have to do much to make it happen, but it's definitely not an easy process.

Nikolai: I guess Mishka and I still have things to talk about and think about, don't we?

Grandpa: I'd say you do.

Nikolai: This is a lot.

Grandpa: It is, but most couples go through something like this when they’re planning their family, so it’s nothing new.

Nikolai: Yeah, but it’s all new to us.

Grandpa: Can I make another suggestion?

Nikolai: Sure. What is it?

Grandpa: You and Mishka might want to arrange a consultation at the clinic where they do the procedure. Information on a website is fine, but there’s nothing like being able to talk to somebody and ask questions face to face.

Nikolai: Yeah. You know, I think I might feel better if we could do that.

Grandpa: If Mishka can cope with being in a room full of strangers, maybe try to get in on one of their group information sessions too.

Nikolai: Okay.

Grandpa: I know this a big, serious thing for both of you, but I believe in you. You’ll figure it out.

Nikolai: Thanks, Grandpa. You've helped a lot.

Grandpa: What are grandpas for, if not to help out their favourite grandsons with their stranger-than-fiction problems?

Nikolai: You're the most awesome grandpa ever.

Grandpa: Awesomeness is in our genes. That's why you're so outstanding. Best grandson ever, I'd say.

Nikolai: Until the great-grandchild comes along?

Grandpa: Oh, I'm sure I'll fall in love with them on sight, but you're always going to be my favourite.

Nikolai: You'd better not let Natascha find out.

Grandpa: I don't think it's a secret at this point, do you?

Nikolai: *laughing* No, probably not.

Grandpa: I love your sister just as much as I love you. That's what matters.

Nikolai: I love you, too.

Grandpa: Good luck with your decision.

Nikolai: Thanks. I'll keep you updated, okay?

Grandpa: I'd appreciate that.

Nikolai: Consider it done, then. I've got to go now. I have to pick up Mishka from his language class and then we're heading to the airport to meet Sam, but I'll call you later, all right? You can fill me in on all the latest Windward Shore gossip and tell me how your search for a roommate’s been going.

Grandpa: Be prepared for a long phone call.

Nikolai: I’ll be looking forward to it.

[festivalofthe12]

mannnnnnnn IDK if it's just because I never fully finished the manga myself (sorry everyone;;) but I just. don't. really understand how Akito being just another one of Tohru's friends is supposed to. work. in practice. with Yuki.

Not because Akito is an ~irredeemable person who never earned her redemption~ or whatever. People being good is good!!! If Akito is legitimately a better person now, that's awesome!!! And frankly I love stories where legitimate kindness breaks through to save people who are shitty but also deeply deeply sad!!!!!

But to most of the cast, Akito was a pretty distant enemy. Yes, she'd show up in person now and then to be chilling and mysterious, but her primary source of contention was Being God. The way she ran the family and the rules she set up around it. Other characters might have spent a lot of time seething at her, but mainly to blame her for indirectly causing things to happen in their lives. Apart from a very small number, most have never actually had much experience just... talking to her.

Which is not true for Yuki.

Yuki has spent more time with her than almost anybody. By the end of the manga, she's still probably the person he's spent the most time in contact with, total, over his life. He literally could not get away from being in the same physical space as her.

His reactions to Akito aren't based on him blaming her for what she did to the Sohma family. His reactions to Akito are based on a very simple 'if I can see her, things about about to get very bad very quickly for me personally.'

At that point, it's not even really about whether he blames or forgives her, or what he thinks she 'deserves'. It is an immediate anxiety (let's be real: PTSD) trigger. It's neither conscious nor logical. He spent endless amounts of time waiting with horror for her to show up, unable to know or control when that would happen, and then having that horror fully justified. He was trained on it, endlessly.

I fully believe that Yuki would want to trust Tohru and respect her friendship with Akito and believe that everything has changed and it's all good now. But I just can't see him being him able to actually... act on that. In practice.

He never even really properly got to process it. Ayame did the classic oblivious parent thing of trying to override Yuki's negative emotions with happy ones before he was actually ready to move on. (Not critiquing Ayame; he's just a flawed human being in his own right!) Tohru comforted him and told him he didn't deserve it, and now she's friends with his abuser asking him to say everything's fine. If Kakeru ever fully found out what happened, it was off-screen, and not all that much time before this all went down.

I just. Really think that what Yuki needs is at least some time to just be better and angry, or at the very least openly mourn his lost childhood. And he needs to be able to do that without those constant triggers of anxiety from interacting with Akito. All things being equal, I think it would be for the best if he could just tell Tohru straight-up that he's fine with their friendship and he's not going to intervene but he just does not want to be in the same room with Akito ever again.

And... if I were to stretch this a bit further, and potentially really betray my unfamiliarity with endgame canon........... it is kind of hard for me to imagine Akito being okay with that.

Yes, Akito has changed. But surely she still needs time to grow and learn and figure out her new place in this world? And Yuki deliberately avoiding her would... be a difficult thing to accept. Firstly because she's still getting used to giving up that selfishness (especially towards Yuki), but also because it's a reminder of some of the awful shit she did. Which, if she's a changed person, should make her feel bad. Which again, she isn't qualified to process!!

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Akito twisted it around in her head to where Yuki really was her friend. Like they were in this together and Akito didn't always handle it well but at the end of the day, they're the only two who can really understand each other. Because Akito really didn't have that, either. (Kureno being... idk man he always seemed more like a guardian, or at least older brother figure than someone who was 'in the trenches' so to speak with her.)

Either way, it'd all place Tohru in such a deeply complicated position. Akito is hurting badly and needs Tohru to be on her side if no-one else is, because to be fair, that's not all wrong? (Kureno has always been there, but Tohru is her saviour.) But she can't really do that if she's enforcing Yuki's boundaries for him. I feel like Akito would really want Tohru to tell her that she's forgiven and that everything's good now, and if she hesitated even a little, it wouldn't go well. Because Akito only knows how to understand two things: obedience and manipulation. So having others set healthy boundaries - and dealing with the resulting feelings of rejection and shame and guilt - is something she still has to learn how to do.

It just sounds. A bit like a clusterfuck tbh. A clusterfuck that could, eventually, turn out okay!!!!!! But one that would take a LONG time and continued process of reflection and self-awareness (and, ideally, HEAVY THERAPY, but of course we all know nobody in the Fruits Basket universe ever gets that, so). Obviously like that's the happy ending and we don't need to extend it out for four more volumes of like 'Yuki and Akito undergo cbt separately via Tohru's infinite patience' lmfao but. Idk. It just seems to imply a lot in that happy ending that has not really set up by the story to be all that easy.

Unless I'm completely wrong and the last volume or two does in fact set this up perfectly. In which case never mind!!!!!!!!!!