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#i love long hair crowley a lot btw
andiv3r · 11 months
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If any of you wanted an update on a drawing im making,,
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Enjoy the WIP!
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bunni-v1 · 1 year
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the latest post was real funny lmaoo, do u think u could also write abt the 2nd and 3rd years finding out the prefect is a girl? doesn't have to be immediate, take ur time <3
Second Years Find out You’re a Girl?!?!? (NOT CLICKBAIT) 
TW: Swearing; You have a smell (Ruggie); Floyd and Jade; Bunni can’t write Silver lol
Info: Ruggie, Jade, Floyd, Jamil, and Silver x Reader (Separate; Platonic/Romantic)
🍓Hiiii. Skip the intro if this isn’t ur first rodeo and buckle up cowboys (and cowgirls, and cowtheys, and cows). There is a notable lack of third years and dorm leaders because!!! They get their own part rip. I will (eventually) add links to the other parts, but I have a lot of homework to catch up on from being sick all week so it has to wait :). BTW it's long, but each part is pretty even. Love you all enjoyyyyy <3
First Years
Ortho & Sebek
Third Years
Dorm Leaders
-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?
-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.
-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.
-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)
-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)
-So how do you two do it?
-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.
-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.
-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)
-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.
-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part. 
-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.
-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.
-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.
-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!
-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good… trial run.
-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…
-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.
-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course).
-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.
-So… how do they find out?
Ruggie
-Ruggie is… unique when compared to Jack. 
-The three beastmen in the cast are all oddballs in this case, but I feel Ruggie is the oddest.
-See, Ruggie finds out nearly immediately. I’m talking like… first day when you and Grim set the school on fire immediately.
-It’s my personal belief that he has the strongest nose between Leona, himself, and Jack so he doesn’t have to be close to smell that something is different about you.
-Now he wasn’t sure for sure. The smell of a person, especially humans, has a lot of factors playing in them. Plus the fact that you’re… not exactly a normal member of Twisted Wonderland’s Society.
-But he had a hunch. That hunch was only confirmed when he decided to steal your sandwich for Leona. 
-He got a nice big ol’ whiff of your smell, and he won’t lie and say it didn’t throw him off, for a second. He almost lost control of his spell on you.
-Luckily he didn’t, he got his sandwich and got away, but it left him with a lot to think about.
-(Bunni interjecting opinion here, my bad) See, Ruggie isn’t exactly afraid of the women in his cackle. They’re civilized people, after all, they’re not out there beating on every guy they see, but they are kind of intimidating.
-He was raised to respect and fear women by his granny, and he’s never really had anything that directly opposed that moral code impeded in him.
-That was until you started to get a little too involved in sniffing Leona and him out for injuring other students.
-Why couldn’t you keep that stupid little nose of yours where it belongs, huh? You’re making more trouble than it’s worth.
-Tries a ton of different ways to scare you off for your own good, but you are damn stubborn and Ruggie both hates and admires you for it.
-You figure he and Leona both know you’re a girl. Hell, Leona outright implies it every time he sees you (thank god your friends of choice are morons). 
-Ruggie though? He looks at you weirdly. You can’t be sure, but he’s a bit more cautious around you. Careful he doesn’t hurt you, but also sure to give you a spook or two when he needs.
-It’s all so odd.
-It’s not till Leona overblots that both of you get your closure. 
-Both you and Ruggie are left alone to recover after your friends leave and Leona’s family drags him away for forced bonding time.
-He can’t help but test the waters.
-“Yer weird y’know.”
“Gee, thanks. That’s how you talk to the guy who saved your life earlier.”
“Hey, that’s how I talk to everyone. Don’t matter if you saved my life or not.”
“Whatever. What's so weird about me then.”
“Why’re ya hidin’ who ya really are.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Yeah, ya do, yer the one who was insistent on that gym shirt that’s clearly three times yer size.”
“…
…..
…Fiiiiine. You got me.”
-He’s smug about it for the longest time too. Constantly cracking jokes and poking fun at you.
-Honestly, it's the start of a really cute friendship! 
-You two are far more chill and friendly after Leona’s overblot. So much so that Grim, Ace, and Deuce call it into question, but he won’t tell if you don’t.
-Besides, you need a good friend to hang around where you don’t have to constantly hide who you are all the time.
-He’s the chill presence that you need on campus, and he’ll keep his mouth shut with no problem. (So long as you keep providing him that sweet, free lunch).
Jade
-He doesn’t think you’re too good at keeping secrets.
-Unlike the beast men, he doesn’t have an amazing nose. In fact, Jade would say his smelling ability is rather lackluster compared to Floyd or Azul. 
-However, he has a crazy scary intuition.
-He doesn’t know right away, of course. He doesn’t have x-ray vision to see through your baggy uniform.
-What gives it away for Jade is your mannerisms. The way you react to different things your more… masculine peers do or say. The discomfort on your face with the more touchy-feely students on campus.
-To our lovely (bastard) Jade, it's all a dead giveaway. He knows by the start of book three when you first make your deal with Azul.
-It’s like he’s looking through you in that crowded little office. His gaze and placid smile pierced through your skin.
-He won’t say anything to anyone though. What fun would that be? 
-To him, it's quite funny seeing how unaware both he and your friends are of the truth.
-He gives you the chills every time he’s around you, but he’s not giving you any reason to believe he knows anything more than what you’ve told him.
-He uses the correct pronouns and treats you as he would anyone else. The only thing is that he’s got this knowing glimmer in his eyes.
-It scares you. Not in the ‘oh god he’s gonna do something to me,’ way, but in the ‘Oh god he’s looking at me again, why is he looking at me again’ kinda way.
-He really does not give you an inkling of an idea that he knows. Just stares at you, smiling like a creepy doll.
-Eventually though, at some point after Azul’s overblot, he corners you (quite literally).
-You honestly think he’s about to kill you, he’s very tall and his face doesn’t change as he leans down to whisper in your ear.
-“Your secret is safe with me.”
-And he walks away.
-What. The. Fuck. Honestly, the scariest thing he could’ve done. Scarier than anything Floyd could ever do honestly.
-To his credit though, your secret is safe with him! Floyd and Azul find out completely on their own, and in fact act surprised when you ask if Jade was the one who told them.
-And honestly, if you can ignore how scary his smile is, he’s always lovely to talk to when you’re in his serving section at the lounge.
-He’s actually the one who convinced Azul to give you a part-time gig when you tell him about your… difficulties affording Sam’s prices.
-Makes sure that your uniform fits the way that makes you most comfortable, and keeps the more rowdy customers AND servers (including Floyd) away from you.
-Very kind! Very weird! 
-When you ask him why, he just tells you, “What’s the fun in letting our little secret get out.”
-Creepy! But at least you’re sort of safe around him.
Floyd
-Now, I am aware that Floyd is a very smart person. As smart as both Jade and Azul, in fact.
-However, homie has ADHD like crazy, and if something doesn’t have his attention he is not learning anything about it.
-Therefore, when it comes to you being female, it takes him a little longer than Jade and Azul to figure it out.
-You don’t really pique his interest for a while. Sure, you’re from a different dimension and all, and you’re a magicless student at one of the most prestigious magic schools ever, and you defeated two of the strongest students at NRC’s overblots.
-So what! Who cares! Certainly not Floyd!.
-You don’t interest him, plain and simple. He finds you kinda boring beyond all that “superficial” stuff out of your control.
-That is honestly for the best, you think, You sort of have Jade’s attention already, and that’s scary enough for you.
-You’ve heard the terrifying tales of what Floyd does to Riddle, you’d rather not be an object of his “affections.”
-It’s not until he’s forced to pay attention to you that he gets… interested. (Yayy for you!)
-It’s not immediate, of course. 
-He thinks you signing the contract with Azul so confidently is really funny. 
-Your determination to pretend you’re not scared of him and Jade is kinda cute, sure.
-When he realizes you’ve caught Jade’s eye he really starts to wonder about you.
-What is so interesting about you that Jade, his brother who only ever really liked peculiar people, has been keeping an eye on you like you’re his prey or something?
It really makes him think, but he doesn’t get it. Seriously. What's so different about you.
-Realizes what’s up when your baggy uniform manages to hug just the right place just long enough that he notices in the heat of battle.
-He gets it now, Jade. How silly you are, little shrimpy, hiding something like that from everyone.
-Suddenly, after Azul recovers from his overblot, Floyd is really friendly with you. 
-Not even in the creepy, stalker-ish way that a lot of people like to portray him as. (Though he does, in fact, do a lot of creepy stalker-ish things. It’s in his blood, he’s an underwater predator after all.)
-It’s more like a really, overly excited, not well-trained puppy who just wants attention from its (new) favorite person.
-And, you have to admit, he can be pretty pleasant to be around when he’s in a good mood! He’s funny, easy to talk to, and always has something fun he wants to do.
-It’s annoying to him that everyone gets in the way of him talking to you, though. He’s not gonna hurt you or anything, just wants to give you a squeeze is all.
Jamil
-Jamil has literally no reason to interact with you, ever.
-He, quite honestly, tries to avoid you at all costs.
-Trouble seems to follow you everywhere you go, and with Kalim always trailing him like a puppy, it’s not a mixture he wants to deal with.
-So, Jamil doesn’t know. Nor does he care to know at all. He doesn’t want to know anything about you.
-Alas, you both attend NRC. Nothing goes well at NRC.
-So, you bump into him in the kitchen during winter break. 
-If he’s completely honest, you are incredibly nice and easy to be around. Smarter than he’d thought too, seems that your bad luck only comes from your goodness of heart.
-It couldn’t hurt to let you eat with the rest of the dorm just this once… could it.
-It could. It very much could.
-It’s in his nature to be observant. He easily picks up on people's mannerisms and tells them so he can adjust to them as quickly as possible.
-Your mannerisms, however, are particularly different from every other guy on campus. 
-You act more like you belong in Pomefiore in a lot of ways, and you tend to flinch at the slightest bit of contact.
-You keep your distance, wear baggy clothes, and your voice sometimes sounds really strained.
-All of these things are odd, but… everyone at NRC is a little weird. He’s a little weird.
-So what. He writes it off and moves on.
-That is until he has to give you the Scarabia uniform after pointedly deciding to kidnap you for a while.
-Your very visible discomfort at the idea of having to wear the new clothes, which he picked specifically to be closer to your actual size, was quite a big giveaway for him.
-He simply smiles and hums and goes to fetch you something a little bigger, for your comfort. He’s not a monster after all! He wouldn’t want a young lady to be uncomfortable around him.
-Keeps it to himself, like a little prize. He was the only one who knew, and he wanted to keep it that way for a while without letting you know.
-It was for no reason other than to fuel that ever-growing ego in his chest.
-However, he gets a little annoyed when Kalim asks him if he thinks you’re a girl or not. He also gets very annoyed when you outwit him and fly to Octanivelle for help.
-Then he finds out that not only did Kalim manage to figure it out on his own, but Jade, Floyd, and Azul have known for ages now.
-It’s just a fun little bonus stressor that adds to his ultimate overblot.
-The overblot in which he exposes your secret to the whole of Scarabia. The overblot where he is just a little too creepy for you to be okay with him for a while.
-Needless to say, you do not have a good relationship with Jamil after all of that.
-He does, however, apologize properly for what he did during his overblot during the music training camp arc.
-You two never really fix things, but you become amicable enough. 
Jamil doesn’t really care enough to try and out you to the rest of NRC, but he does owe you a semblance of kindness thanks to what he put you through.
-So he makes sure Scarabia students and Kalim don’t go yapping to everyone after school starts up again.
🍓I have to be fully honest before I write this, I don’t… know how to write silver. I’m not up to date with chapter seven, and he hardly has any in-game content, so I’m sorry if I got him wrong. I’m trying my best to learn the Diasomania characters, but I don’t have the time to sit down and read ALL of chapter seven. (I do, however, have the time to get about 30 hrs a week on Mercy overwatch so maybe I should get my priorities straight…)🍓
Silver
-Silver is one of the last people to find out on campus.
-Not only do you never hang out with the Diasomnia students (other than Malleus), but you and Silver have absolutely nothing to talk about.
-He’s always in a weird sleep-fueled daze, and he’s super quiet and stern. He’s not exactly an easy guy to talk to, but he is nice when you do talk to him.
-The greatest extent to which you’ve interacted with him is through Lilia, and you hardly interact with Lilia outside of Malleus.
-So yeah… Silver doesn’t really have a chance to find out on his own.
-Besides, even if he did suspect something, he’s too upstanding and nice to bother asking you about it.
-Like Jack, he would just assume you were trans, or you’d tell him if you wanted to tell him. 
-Besides, gender isn’t all that big of a concern at NRC, let alone for someone who was raised by a pretty open-minded guy like Lilia.
-So, really, Silver has no reason to suspect or ask anything at all.
-However… he does… overhear Lilia talking about something like that with Malleus.
-More specifically, Lilia scolded Malleus and made him promise not to say anything to anyone else. (Silver wonders who he might’ve spilled to…)
-It’s not like it’s his business. You two aren’t super duper close or anything. He’s a royal guard anyway, he can keep his mouth shut. Besides, he could’ve just misheard the conversation.
-.
-..
-…
-….He’s kinda curious though. Damn his human nature, he just wants to know that’s all.
-So, he asks you outright one day.
-“Are you a girl?”
“…No hello?”
-He doesn’t get why you’d hide something like that. Women are strong, what’s the point in hiding that you’re a woman.
-You explain it to him, and suddenly he’s much more sympathetic.
-Offers to protect you if you ever need it out of the goodness of his heart. (What a sweetie)
-Otherwise, he doesn’t change all that much, maybe waves at you in the halls now, but he’s not going out of his way to talk to you unless you want him to.
-He’s another good guy <3
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dreamofjoys · 2 years
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𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔
— scenario: how twst characters show you how much they love you
— characters involved: riddle roseheart, leona kingscholar, malleus draconia x gn reader
— cw: fluff! reader is implied to be shorter than the character in leona and malleus's part
— a/n: happy international women's day! just wanted to write some fluffy troupes for you guys (after a really painfully long mia and my laziness)
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were you late for the unbirthday party that riddle invited you to? don't worry, this cute boy won't scold you about punctuality
instead, he would ask for the reason that made you late
did crowley give you too much work again? did the trouble makers in his dorm drag you into some mess again? let this red haired dorm leader settle the burdens for you
riddle can be quite naggy sometimes, especially towards the dorm members when he spots them not following any queen of heart's rules
however in your case, he is naggy towards your own well being. did you take your lunch today? are you sleeping enough? did anyone bully you in school?
would occasionally invite you over to his dorm just to try out new pastries that trey made (the both of you are taste testers for trey's pastries and no trey totally did not try experimenting new stuff just to give you guys extra lovey dovey time)
i believe he never really read any romance books before, but starts picking them up once the both of you started dating, so that he could get a gist of what a boyfriend should do and how dating should be like
a little awkward sometimes but he tries his very best to make you happy
overall he's just a small little chipmunk that looks out for you in every way and tries to improve himself for you and a little clingy
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he's like the.... most unbothered person in the whole campus
doesn't care what's going on as long as it doesn't bother him
has zero tolerance for pests
...... you do know that he doesn't see you as a pest, right?
his ears perched up whenever he hears someone mentioning about him
definitely had his sleeves rolled up tight in case he needs to fight whoever that was bad mouthing you
leona hates loud people, but he doesn't mind you talking his ear off and telling him about your day
he may look disinterested, but trust me, he remembers everything that you say. why? because he cares
you often find yourself surprised when he remembers something that you told him the last time while he was "asleep"
another thing that he does to show his love towards you is that he shares his food to you
he's a big sucker for meat, and a big man like him definitely eats a lot. he doesn't like to share his stuff too, so be glad that this grumpy lion is sharing you his portion of food
frequent head rubs!! he likes to rub his cheek on your head while holding you tight against his body, the warmth of your body lulling him to sleep in an instant
btw lions show affections by doing head rubs :D
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congratulations, you are now the most spoilt person in twisted wonderland
for every second you breathe, gold coins starts pilling up in your room
for every second you blink, treasures starts littering itself everywhere in your dorm
for every second your heart beats, you find a clingy dragon fae snuggling into your chest, a tight grip on your waist as he holds you close to him
malleus is a big man, and everyone would assume that he would love being the big spoon
the truth is, malleus enjoys being pampered by his lover
no, he doesn't need money, treasures, or some weird magical artifacts
he just needs his lover to pay attention to him, THATS ALL
in return, he would do anything for you, anything
do you wanna play in the snow in the middle of june? night raven college should be making preparations for early winter
are you eyeing on that tiara that vil happens to wear on his set for a movie? well, it's yours to wear now
are you having some intensive late night cravings? sounds like a good timing to go on a date right? let him just teleport the both of you to the other side of the world, where the sun is still high while the both of you can enjoy a hearty meal and explore the place
he's the type of lover that would burn the whole world just for you
nothing can ever exceed or surpass the amount of love he have for you
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
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Owari no seraph for the ask game!
ask game
hi hi hi!!!
blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):
Guren, probably. Compared to a lot of my other fandoms I honestly give most of the characters a fair chance, I write things for nearly every main character and a lot of side characters. But yeah, Guren's just. Guren's my guy. He's the blorbo. My dear departed husband who is a fictional war criminal
Runner up blorbos would probably be Yuu and Mika, though they just don't need any more attention since they're. Yknow. The main characters and tend to be overrated and mischaracterized so much it gets annoying! But they're mine and no one else is allowed to look at them except my beloved mutuals. Stop doing it
scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):
Asuramaru. Asuramaru my baby girl. I've always considered asuramaru transfem bc of the way that their presentation goes from shorter hair and plainer clothes in backstory to a literal dress and hair longer than their entire body even tho they're technically supposed to be a guy i just. I don't care. Asuramaru what a girlboss<3 The she<3 I get so much cuteness agression from that fucking idiot I want to rumple her hair and put her in the washing machine and give her blood snacky snacks
scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):
SHINOA MY GIRL AND YOICHI MY BOY. Yoichi my BOY he is literally my main kin in owari no seraph and I. Hgmghewihg. I'm a lil embarassed about that however. I hate how the fandom treats him because he's literally the most dangerous person on the squad like no fucking contest. He's the only one who figured out manifestation on his own, he's 10 times better at handling his demon than anyone else, his emotional control is off the CHARTS, he needs so much fucking therapy, I just. Dude. Did u guys forget about the whole. The. When chapter 51. Yoichi will get his time and you're all going to regret calling him an uwu baby when he does
And shinoa. I may not relate to her as heavily as I do with some of the others, but I want to rip her from kagami's cold dead hands and give her an article on comphet and also just. A hug. A long hug. She's a kid. She's the youngest one on the squad, I think. She's been given shit from the moment she was born and she has not had one fucking moment to be herself and yet she managed to have such a hilarious badass personality. She's also the same height as me and therefore we are siblings and she is me. I love Shinoa i lllvoe shnoia
glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): oh god I have. Several of these. So #1, Aiko. This girl
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You know, the girl that gets one episode in battle of nagoya and then fucking dies. I, love her, she did nothing wrong, she deserves the world and she is so pretty. I also think she and Mito are kissing btw. Girlboss x girlboss.
Also. I think I win "obscure fave" because I was so adament not to make an actual oc that my other glup shitto is. I grabbed a guy who literally had a single throwaway line- not even his line, just mentioning him, and gave him a whole character arc and backstory.
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This little guy here who gave Mika a death glare. I just realized now that I looked at this again he's calling the name dai. I thought HE was Dai. Well he's Dai now, who else is gonna correct me? Him and the kid Ferid dropped (who i named florian) are heavily featured in my giant ons rewrite as GIANT plot devices, given their own arcs, and used to further the arcs of Crowley and Mika especially, and to give a current insider's perspective of Ferid's Child Trafficking Business. Dai is actually a spy for the demon army in my fic, it's... yknow, I'd better not just start rambling I never even actually wrote half of their stuff but I love them dearly.
poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):
God, both Mika and Guren fit here perfectly.
It's soooo funny how most Guren stans nowadays are some version of Mika antis, and most Mika stans nowadays are some form of Guren antis. I love them both and they're both my horrible terrible fucked up poor little meow meows. On an intellectual level both of them did SO many things wrong but also your honor. They did nothing wrong. Shoves the catastrophe behind my back. They have so many issues to work out I DESPISE them /pos but if anyone else says a SINGLE WORD against them they're catching my hands
horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):
I loooooooove torturing guren it is my absolute favorite activity I love putting him in the guren plinko over and over like beast dazai i love watching him suffer and be in pain it's so fun because he's my favorite and i love him. Also though god what I would do to make him happy
eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Ferid. He's the reason i'm homophobic /j BUT SERIOUSLY ISTG I AM GOING TO PUNT THAT MAN INTO THE FUCKING ABYSS I LOVED WATCHING HIM BURN ON THE STAKE WHY'D THEY HAVE TO TAKE HIM OFF I LOVED WATCHING HIM GET CARRIED AROUND AS A SEVERED HEAD WHY'D HE HAVE TO GET HIS DECREPIT ASS BODY BACK
im going to create another one because I think it's funny: Blorbo-In-Law (character you know and like but aren't the expert on, however one or more friends does in fact legally own this character): Shinya. I like shinya just fine, I love shinya, but he's just not the kind of guy I can relate to nearly as much as guren and I know some of my beloved mutuals just know him so much better. But I know Shinya has a strong, dedicated fandom who is absolutely giving their lives for that man on the daily. Like. He gets NOTHING and I feel so fucking sorry for u guys lol
i WENT OFF on this one didn't i
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cultofbeatles · 5 years
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beginners guide to the members of led zeppelin (kind of)
a disclaimer before anyone starts reading: we all know led zeppelin is shady as hell and we hardly ever get anything confirmed or denied around here. so some stuff is up for speculation. everything in this post are things i've read in books, heard in interviews, or got from some other source. when it comes to “facts about led zeppelin” sometimes you gotta take it with a grain of salt. but honestly it’s led zeppelin we’re talking about, anything is possible. also this is all in good fun and giggles. with that being said, let’s get started with introductions to the members themselves.
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jimmy page 
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james patrick page 
born on January 9, 1944 
he’s a capricorn sun, cancer moon, and scorpio rising so you just know he’s a crazy motherfucker 
was an amazing session guitarist and basically everyone wanted him 
went to art school bc he’s just talented at everything i guess 
if you didn't know already he played the guitar for Joe cocker’s ‘with a little help from my friends’
declined his first offer to join the yardbirds but later decided to join 
was the last member to leave the group
basically was the leader of led zeppelin 
was gifted a telecaster guitar by his friend jeff beck and he adored it 
and he painted a cool dragon design on it 
played on it for the first led zeppelin album 
when he was on tour one of his friends painted over his dragon design and ruined the guitar 
he produced all of led zeppelin’s albums and is responsible for the remastering of those same albums 
paid for led zeppelin’s first album to be produced with his own money
deadass would have whips and handcuffs around with him on tour for the groupies 
but was apparently an amazing lover and cared for the people he slept with
one time he got naked on a food cart thingy, put whip cream over his body, and had john bonham push him into a room with groupies in it 
has such a small and soft voice 
was fascinated in aleister crowley and his work
would collect crowely memorabilia 
even bought crowley’s boleskine house 
had a bookstore at one point so he could get books easier 
struggled with addiction to drugs for most of the seventies 
went on a liquid diet late seventies and refused to eat solid food 
he got really skinny bc of it :( 
miss pamela (one of his girlfriends/lovers) once said that jimmy cried on the phone to her over her playboy photoshoot lmaoo
once flied pamela’s pet raccoon in first class 
allegedly had a relationship with lori maddox who was about 15 years old 
laughed as two of his girlfriends were fighting each other 
was kind of constantly nervous about his and the band’s image
has amazing guitar solos and improvisation but damn sometimes they drag on foreverrrr
deadass scared the shit out of david bowie so much that he had his house exorcised and would avoid jimmy at parties 
we love demons 
zoso
he’ll never tell us what zoso means and I'm mad
had two people die in his home. one was a friend who died from a drug overdose, and the other was john bonham when he died from choking on his vomit.  
has been accused for the deaths of john bonham and robert plant’s son karac bc of that stupid “curse” rumor
deserves critiques for several things but doesn't deserve hate for that 
has been through a lot and come out pretty okay
produced his current girlfriend’s, scarlett sabet, spoken poetry vinyl 
check out scarlett’s work bc it’s amazing
would probably always be down for another led zeppelin reunion 
robert plant
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robert anthony plant 
born on august 20, 1948
this is the most attractive man ever. do not argue with me. 
nicknamed percy 
wasnt jimmy’s first pick for a singer 
jerry reid suggested robert to jimmy. and when jimmy asked what he looked like jerry said, “like a greek god.”
jimmy thought something was wrong with robert when he first found him bc he was such a good singer and hadn't been signed yet 
after a practice together jimmy knew he had his singer 
he would call robert “the young guy with the powerful voice.”
he thought about leaving the band early on bc he was so nervous about being in it 
convinced john bonham to join the group bc they were the bestest of buddies 
he’s not credited on the first album bc he was still under another contract 
started song writing for the second album by jimmy’s memory 
it didn't take long for him to gain confidence and start owning the stage 
once when he was performing a dove flew in his hands 
there’s an audio of him singing john bonham happy birthday and it makes me so happy 
he would call himself a greek god 
would party with john bonham a lot 
kind of the hippy of the group 
moans moans moans and even louder moans into the microphone 
would wear women’s shirts and looked amazing in them 
nurses do it better 
not to mention his super tight jeans 
we all know his dick is huge and he’s just showing it off 
has the prettiest, fluffiest blonde hair 
and the sweetest smile 
can you tell that i find him attractive yet?
has a fear of earthquakes 
also supposedly had some sort of a relationship to an underage groupie named sable starr (14)
also has a fear of led zeppelin nowadays 
either fear or amnesia 
it’s likely that he’s the reason we’ll never get another led zeppelin reunion 
though a close friend thinks that if the show went to charity robert would probably do it 
robert loved john bonham too much to play in led zeppelin without him
and i respect that a lot 
no matter how much he’s offered for a show he turns it down every time
in 1975 he got in a severe car crash and ended up being in a wheelchair 
still went on to record zeppelin’s album 
once while recording on crutches and started to fall and jimmy apparently zoomed in to save him. robert never saw him move that fast before
his five year old son (karac) died from a sudden stomach illness while he was in america on tour
absolutely crushed him 
was deeply upset that neither jimmy page or john paul jones reached out to him during that time of his life 
john bonham was there for him though 
robert apparently never forgave them for that 
a car he was working on fell on top of him and crushed some of his ribs as well 
late seventies was not a good time for robert plant 
but he got through it all like a champ
hates stairway to heaven with a passion lmao  
one time he paid a radio station a shit ton of money just to make sure they'd never play stairway to heaven again 
almost didn't sing stairway for the 2007 reunion but ended up agreeing to it after all 
he said he breaks out in hives when he has to play that song 
he and jimmy made their own symbols. robert’s is the feather inside the circle 
in 2007 he won beard of the year 
john bonham
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john bonham 
born on may 31, 1948
nickname is bonzo
oh boy, there’s a lot of stories about bonzo 
he was known as the nicest and sweetest guy ever 
unless he was drunk 
he drank a lot :/
denied jimmy’s offer to join the group and continued to deny it until robert convinced him 
once flew the starship (led zeppelin’s plane) even though he didn't have a license to 
hated touring so much 
he always missed his family 
so he drank 
he was so damn crazy when drunk that the other members would book rooms floors above where his was so he wouldn't disturb them
tore about his hotel rooms like no other 
he has a son named jason bonham who he loved a lot 
bought him a nice drum kit when he was younger 
jason is just about led zeppelin’s biggest fan next to jimmy page 
one time bonzo broke a girl’s vibrator when drunk
also punched a girl in the face when drunk once bc she waved at him 
partly responsible for the famous mud shark story where a girl was apparently fucked with a dead shark by him and zeppelin’s tour manager 
liked cars a lot 
really really loved his family. cannot stress it enough
was irked that john paul jones got out of playing shows during the christmas holiday and he didn't 
punched robert in the face once too 
him and john paul jones equals the best rhythm section ever 
jimmy would call it magic how well him and bonzo got along 
bonzo could handle anything jimmy threw at him 
he wasn't really a part of it, but he had to go to jail bc peter grant and two other dudes almost killing a man (long story omfg, but apparently the doctors had to put the dude’s eyeball back into his socket)
was there for robert when karac died 
they were really good friends 
there’s an interview with them together where bonzo is laughing at robert about his little farm 
gave good hugs apparently 
played drums like no other could and knew he was good 
but still sometimes got insecure and got upset when someone he looked up to said his drumming wasn't all that special 
his symbol is the three rings and he picked it out of a book like john paul jones did his 
he died in jimmy page’s house (not the crowley house btw)
he had to drink the equivalent of 40 shots of vodka and choked on his vomit in his sleep 
led zeppelin died on the same day 
nobody can replace john bonham 
his son filled in his role for the 2007 reunion show and did an amazing job of it. the whole show is on youtube, go check it out
john paul jones
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 john richard baldwin 
born on january 3, 1946
nickname is jonesy 
was also a session guitarist like jimmy 
they had worked together before 
when he found out jimmy was forming a group he called jimmy and was basically given the spot immediately 
not only was the bassist but also the keyboardist 
and could play the recorder 
insanely talented. put some respect on his name 
he talks in italics i swear to god 
i don't have mainly crazy stories about jonesy bc he wasn't about that life 
deadass he would go on stage, perform, walk off stage and go to a whole separate hotel from the other
he would only tell one person where he was at and told them not to call unless for super urgent emergencies 
pissed peter grant off so much lmao 
wasn't really super close to anyone in the band tbh 
but bonzo was probably his greatest friend in the band 
jimmy and robert kind of leave him out in my opinion 
or they use to 
when he found out that jimmy and robert were making their own symbols instead of picking out of a book like he was he said “of course!”  and laughed 
was pretty much left out of the live aid show 
he had to squeeze himself on the stage and wasn't even able to play bass. he had to play the keyboard 
“and thank you to my friends for finally remembering my phone number” -savage as hell john paul jones 
he was one of the two people who found john bonham dead 
it’s sad to think about
is actually quite funny
he has this kind of dry humor?? idk but it’s amazing 10/10 content 
when john paul jones walks into the room interviewers break into a sweat
managed to look like a completely different person every year throughout the seventies or is it just my eyes?
has an Instagram account now go follow it for cute throwback photos lol
that’s all i really have for generic useless information about led zeppelin members for beginners. i hope it was somewhat entertaining. i'll make some more beginners stuff for led zeppelin. i will make y'all stan them lmao. i'm tagging @babygotblueeyes​ bc i know for a fact you want to get into them <3
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Note
Kiss prompt #12, but make it fashion
For you, my friend (Baz is wearing jeans; did I make it fashion? lol). Set on a California beach since I've got Wayward Son on the brain...
💜💜💜
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Read here or on AO3
prompt: Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss
(rated M, btw)
SIMON
I don’t mind snogging in front of Penny—I don’t even mind snogging in front of Agatha—but also we can’t really snog with our friends around. 
Probably that’s a good thing, because every little chance I get to be alone with Baz feels like we’re on the cusp of something. It scares me, if I’m honest, but it lights something up inside me, too. Something I’ve not really felt since…before. 
Before I lost my magic. 
And, well. It’s stronger than that, too. Stronger and bigger than anything I’ve ever felt, and sometimes I feel like it’ll swallow me whole.
Sometimes I want to let it. Sometimes I just want to let go. To give in. 
Like now. 
Seeing the way the fire glows on Baz’s pale skin is…something else. Something else and something familiar. It reminds me of another fire, of just the two of us, alone in his bedroom, trying to catch our breath.
I didn’t want to let go of him long enough to catch our breath.
I barely did. 
I think about those nights in Hampshire a lot, about Baz beneath me in front of his fireplace, and the way his breath would hitch when I kissed him on his neck and collar. The way it surprised me, when he did the same to me, because I’d never been kissed there before, and his mouth was cold, and it felt so good. 
I want to kiss him now. I’m not even sure what’s going on; I can hear Penelope and Agatha talking, but I stopped listening a while ago. 
Baz’s hand is set on the blanket between us, and the fire is so bright, and the sounds of the ocean are soothing. Calm. 
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good. Alive. 
I set my hand on top of Baz’s and squeeze.
I just want to tell him what I want. Probably that’d be weird in front of the girls. 
“We’re going for a walk,” I say.
Baz raises an eyebrow at me.
“Oh?” Penelope says. The fire’s glinting off her glasses, but I can picture the look she’s giving me anyway.
“We’ll be here, then,” Agatha says, and I think how good it’s been, to see her. I almost laugh when I remember how I used to think Baz wanted her. I’m still glad he didn’t; it’s just, I didn’t realize it was me he wanted instead. (I’d say I should’ve known, that it should’ve been obvious, but also Baz’s methods of flirting aren’t exactly the clearest. Setting a chimera on me. Punching me down the stairs. How was I supposed to realize?) 
We get up. Baz is graceful about it, the wanker. I’m not. One of my legs is asleep, and I nearly topple over. Everyone laughs at me. (Even I laugh at me.)
Then I take Baz’s hand, and we start walking down the beach. I think I startle him when I snake my invisible tail around his waist, but I think he likes it, anyway. (I like watching him jump, in any case.)
“Are we really out for a moonlight stroll along the beach, Snow, or were you planning to ravish me behind a lifeguard stand?”
“Hm. Might do.”
“You’ve not answered my question, you dolt.”
“S’pose not,” I say. (Truth be told, I am keeping an eye out for one of those lifeguard things. Not that there’s many people out here right now, but something about sneaking Baz around one of those and pinning him against the planks sends a right thrill down my spine.)
We keep walking, and my heart keeps tripping over itself. I’m just so happy. I’d almost forgotten what that feels like.
Then I spot one—one of those lifeguard stand things—and I can feel myself grinning. (I don’t think I’ve stopped grinning since we started walking.) “C’mere,” I whisper, and I tug at Baz’s hand (“Crowley, Snow”) until we’re properly behind it. Well, not properly, really; there is no behind, but it’s between us and Penny and Agatha, anyway, and it feels private, somehow. Like we’re shut away in our own little corner of the beach. Just me and Baz, alone under the stars with sand beneath our feet. We’re five thousand miles from home, and yet home’s right here.
Baz is giving me that look, like he wants to attack me. Or maybe like he wants me to attack him.
“Bloody finally,” I say, and then I crowd into his space and press him back, back, back until his body thumps gently against the wood. And then I’m reaching up for his mouth. Kissing him. (I’m just now realizing that this is on my list of things I want to do to Baz, having a snog on the beach. Pressing into him until he’s got nowhere else to go. Heating up his body with mine. Heating up his body…)
He’s heating up my body, there’s no denying it. And I don’t want to. (Deny it, I mean.) I’ve got sparks going off from the inside.
It almost feels like I’ve got magic again. A different sort, I guess, but still magic.
I wonder if we should sit down, but probably Baz won’t want to get sand in his trousers, the toff. Also I think he likes kissing me like this, while he gets to lord his height over me. (I won’t tell him that I like it, too. I can’t give him the satisfaction.)
I’ve got one hand pressing against his waist, and I push the other up into his hair as I open my mouth against his. He opens his mouth, too, and then my tongue’s sliding against his as his hair slides through my fingers. I let it fall, and then I bring my hand around to cradle the back of his head. My fingers push into his hair again, at the nape of his neck this time. I like it, and I think he does, too, because he sighs into my mouth when my nails brush against his scalp.
I just want to be closer. I want him closer.
Baz's long hands are resting just above my arse on either side of my tail, but he's pressing into me, pushing me closer, and I…
I…
Baz whimpers against my lips, and I pull back with a gasp.
"You okay?" I say. (I don't know why I say it.) I'm out of breath, and I'm still pressed against him, and my tail's wrapped around one of his calves, and...
"What," Baz says, and I feel his fingers loosen in the fabric of my trackies. 
"Dunno." There's heat rising in my cheeks, and it only gets worse when I remember that Baz can see in the dark.
"Right," he says, and his hands start to drop.
"No, don't. I didn't mean. Um. Fucking hell."
Baz's hands are still against my hips, and I know he can feel me. It's not like my trackies are leaving much to the imagination. And, well. I can feel him, too, beneath the placket of his jeans, and if I did still have magic I think I'd probably go off right fucking now.
I can feel my heartbeat everywhere, loud and fast and hard and fuck.
I don’t know what to say. 
So I kiss him again instead. 
I kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him, and everything is fire—my mouth and my heart and low in my belly, between my legs. I’m moaning into the wetness of his mouth, and he’s moaning back at me, soft noises vibrating against my tongue. I untangle my fingers from his hair and press my hand into the swell of his arse instead, press him towards me, and he practically melts. 
I want him, I realize. And I think…I think he wants me, too. 
I’ve no idea how to do this, any of it.
Kissing’s one thing—I’m good at that—but what about the rest? I’ve never done…anything. But it’s not like Baz has either, and…
I want to do this with him. All of it. The rest.
Baz’s grip on my hips tightens and he breaks the kiss this time. He huffs a laugh when I try to chase his lips with mine, because I’m not done. I’m not ready to let go.
“We shouldn’t here, Snow,” he says. His voice is quiet, and low, and Merlin.
I think about walking back to the fire and Penny and Agatha looking like this. Christ, how embarrassing would that be?
“Yeah,” I breathe, swallowing. (My voice is low, too.) “Yeah, alright. You’re right.”
“Hm. Say that again?”
“Wanker,” I sigh, and then I drop my head against his shoulder. “Fuck.”  
I let my hands slide down to his hips and I just hold onto him. (I have to.) Baz’s arms are looped lazily around my waist, and my tail’s come undone from his leg. We’re silent, for the most part. For a few moments it’s just the ocean and my tail swishing and the sound of our breath softening. And, well. Other bits.
“You know, I didn’t realize you’d take me so seriously, when I asked if you were going to ravish me behind a lifeguard stand.”
“Fuck you.”
“Articulate as always.” 
I wonder what’ll happen, when we get back to our hotel room.
Can’t think about that right now. Not if I want to calm down, at least.
Baz nudges the side of my face with his. “Ready to head back, Snow?”
“Just. Just a few minutes.” I don’t think he’s going to argue with me, for once, especially when I bring one hand up to his belly and start to rub. (I think I hear him swallow.) I think about hitching up his shirt, about stroking the skin underneath. I can’t, not now. But later…
Fuck, this feeling. There’s so much swirling around inside me, and there’s something, something, trying to burst out of me. And—
Oh.
“Baz.” I lift my head from his shoulder, and still my hand against his stomach. It’s dark out, but I can still see the grey of his eyes. His pupils are blown wide, and he’s trying to look sure of himself even as he raises that bloody eyebrow at me.
I’m just staring at him.
“Something to say—?”
“I love you.”
His eyebrow drops, and the first thing I think is that I’ve said the wrong thing. Maybe I’ve read this wrong. And, well. I’ve been a pretty terrible boyfriend lately, all things considered – lying on the couch and staring off into space and not giving Baz much attention. I’m not a mage anymore. He told me he wouldn’t change his mind, all those months ago at his leavers ball, but maybe he will. Maybe he is—
“Simon.”
“Yeah.”
“Watching you think is honestly painful.”
“Oh, piss off!” I try to pull away from him, but he just tightens his arms around me and won’t let go. Bloody vampire strength. Or maybe he’s just stronger than me, full stop.
“Say it again,” he says.
“What?”
“Say it again.”
“I love you?”
“Preferably without the inflection.”
I growl at him. “Look, it’s fine if you don’t. Love me, I mean.” (It scares me, how not true that is.) “But you don’t have to be such—”
“I love you, too.”
“—a prat about it.” I look up to see Baz raising his eyebrow at me again, waiting. “What?”
“I love you, too, you absolute nightmare.”
Well. Now I feel like a prat. And also sort of like my heart’s about to explode. “Oh.”
Baz rolls his eyes. “Yes, oh.”
We’re pressed so close that I can feel his heart pounding in his chest. I set my hand over it and let it beat against my palm, and he lifts one hand and covers mine with his.
And then I’m grinning; I can’t help it. “I love you,” I say again. They’re the only magic words I can say anymore, and I think…
I think that’s okay.
Baz bends to let his forehead rest against mine. He says, “I love you,” into the small space between us. “I told you as much, at my leavers ball—”
“You did not.”
“As good as. But.” He breathes in deep and lets it out. “Well, I didn’t want to scare you away.”
“You wouldn’t’ve.”
He huffs a laugh. “Crowley, Snow…”
I let my hand slip down until I’m holding him around his waist. Then I nestle my face into the space between his neck and shoulder and breathe him in. He smells like the ocean, and the bonfire, and Baz, like cedar and bergamot and home.
“Let’s not go back just yet,” I whisper in his ear. 
Baz shivers, even though he’s wearing a jumper and jeans and it’s not cold out, not really. His long fingers are pressing into my hips, and when I pull back to look at him, his eyes are like a storm.
“Not yet,” he agrees. 
And then he kisses me.  
💛💙
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serendipitous-magic · 4 years
Note
when you were talking about stylistic influences, you said that you found it hard to do comedy. would you mind elaborating on that? i also find that there's very little writing that makes me LOL, and most of what does is fanfic. have you seen comedy done well in writing (novels, fic, etc.)? how do you approach it yourself? (btw fwiw i think your comedic sense is great)
Writing comedy is like writing a sex scene. You have to maintain tension. Except, I find comedy 200% harder, because with sex scenes you can rely on physicality. It’s a momentum built on what and how the character feels. There’s expectation and payoff, just like with comedy - except, in comedy, the payoff often hinges on surprise. A reversal of expectations - or, if not a reversal, simply something you didn’t expect. A huge amount of comedy is made up of the unexpected. We laugh because we’re taken off guard.
Ex:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D61dV18TNE
Ex:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBJU9ndpH1Q
Ex:
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Ex:
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Now, not all humor is based on shock or Wacky Zany Unexpectedness, but I would argue that all humor relies on a sort of momentum, a tension. It’s something you have to actively keep up throughout the duration of however long the humor is supposed to last - and if you’re writing a comedy, that’s the whoooole thing. It’s performative, in a way. You can’t create comedy passively, even if part of the humor relies on silence or expectant pauses; you have to be engaged, start to finish. It takes a lot of creative energy, even for people who have a gift or passion for it.
And moreover, even for people with a natural gift for comedy, it’s a skill. You get better at it when you practice. There are rhythms and shortcuts and rules of thumb.
I would say this may be especially true when you’re writing, because (unless you’re working with a co-writer), writing is just you. If you’re an actor or performer you have your co-stars to play off of; or, at the very least, you likely have an audience. Humans naturally feed off of each other’s emotional states. We’re herd animals. Ever noticed how it’s 1000% easier to laugh when you’re around friends than when you’re alone? For me, it’s even much easier to laugh when I’m listening to a podcast or watching a video than when I’m reading, because hearing human voices tricks my brain into thinking, “Oh, it’s Social Time!”
I personally find writing pure comedy difficult because it’s just me, sitting alone in a room typing words on a screen. However, I also haven’t done much comedy, and like I said it’s a practicable skill, so I’m sure I’d get better at it if I made a real effort to practice.
Comedy well done in novels:
Douglas Adams! Especially The Hitchhiker’s Guide series. Classic touchstone of literary comedy in my opinion. 
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
Terry Pratchett also does a great job at humor - I especially enjoyed his team-up with Neil Gaiman for Good Omens:
“All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.” 
“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”
“The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.”
They also do a fantastic job with situational humor, such as Crowley’s car being on fire and the one random guy giving directions completely ignoring it because he’s like “Well, surely he must know his car is on fire.” 
Rick Riordan:
“Ever come home and found your room messed up? Like some helpful person (hi, Mom) has tried to “clean” it, and suddenly you can’t find anything? And even if nothing is missing, you get that creepy feeling like somebody’s been looking trough your private stuff and dusting everything with lemon furniture polish?”
“I’ve met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited to school for Career Day.”
“He’d changed since the last summer. Instead of Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt, he wore a button-down shirt, khaki pants, and leather loafers. His sandy hair, which used to be so unruly, was now clipped short. He look like an evil male model, showing off what the fashionable college-age villain was wearing to Harvard this year.”
“We only came close to dying six or seven times which I thought was pretty good. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately that something was my face.”
J.K. Rowling:
I love me a smart-ass narrator.
“This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”
“Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. 'So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —' 'Jordan!' growled Professor McGonagall. 'I mean after that open and revolting foul —' 'Jordan, I'm warning you —' 'All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinnet, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession.”
-_-_-_-
I’m having trouble finding the funniest quotes, but y’all know what I’m talking about.
As far as how I approach it myself:
Well, see the top up there. (Waaaaay up there before my whole lecture, lol.) If I’m trying to write something humorous, I approach it from an angle of momentum or energy. Keep up a kind of tension, even if the scene itself is fairly laid-back, and play on unexpectedness - sometimes situational, sometimes in phrasing or dialogue. A snarky narrator is always a good way to add an edge. 
Basically, if I’m trying to be funny in my writing, I write as if I’m joking around with a group of friends - the group of friends being my audience. Same ballpark. Reference inside jokes (which were established earlier in the story), play on repetition and reversal of expectations, joke around about “relatable” things (much of early meme humor relied on this), be sarcastic or dry or exaggerated as the situation calls for. Even if there’s no one really there and I’m just typing words on a page, I find it much easier to approach humor if I come at it from a perspective of kidding around with my audience and having fun with them, instead of just sitting by myself at my desk writing words.
Well that was kind of all over the place but hopefully it answered your questions!
I should start a consistent tag for these asks where I accidentally write long-winded essays on how I write.
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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years
Text
15X01
bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)
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Hello and welcome:
@purpleskiesandcherrypies​  (Nat)
@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  
@waywardbaby​  (Zee)
@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)
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Giulia: I HATE THIS
Giulia: BTW
Giulia: IF ANYONE WAS CURIOUS
Kat: Don’t worry you’ll hate it more later
Giulia: GREAT
Zee: Quit flapping your gums bitches
Nat : shall I count?
Giulia: Go when u post 🖕🏻
Nat : lol
Zee: Nice
Nat : i just go with GO
Giulia: Weak
Nat : ok
Nat : listen
Nat : 3
Nat : 2
Nat : 1
Nat : GO
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Giulia: GREAT MUSIC
AH Y’ALL DON’T LISTEN TO THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG
Zee: Where’s carry on ?
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Think of seasons that must end ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 
Nat : I DON'T REMEMBER HALF OF WHAT THEY SHOW NOW.  It's erased from my memory
Giulia: look at my stupid baby
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ They will rise and fall again ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 
Giulia: Oh look the dumb coffin
Nat : "I do believe in us."
Zee: John
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Everything must have an end ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Giulia: I DIDN T NEED JOHN AGAIN
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Take it calmly and serene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
BITCH HOW
Giulia: bye mary.Good riddance
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ It's the famous final scene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Zee: Maybe I should watch on mute
Kat: Shut up chuck
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ It's been coming on so long You were just the last to know ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Zee: The fuck is this song ?
It's been a long time since you've smiled
Giulia: IDK I HATE IT
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Seems like oh so long ago Now the stage has all been set ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Giulia: bb Sob ....Them hair on fleek tho
Nat : What are the odds
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Zee: BAMF Cas
Giulia: Idk seems so desperate
Kat: Always
Nat : So much grunting. So sexy
Giulia: AWE
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Now the lines have all been read And you knew them all by heart ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Kat: SAM
Kat: DEAN
Zee: He took jack
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Here it comes the hardest part Try the handle of the road ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Kat: over the shoulder like a sack of potatoes
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ok I now it’s a serious moment but Dean skipping with his birb bowlegs is making me cackle so much i cannot
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LOOK AT HIM ....*SNORTS*
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oh look another meme
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Giulia: Sam just casually shoving a ghost out of the way
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ As the light fades from the screen From the famous final scene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Zee: Ok
Zee: I hate it
Giulia: OH THAT TITLE CARD
Nat : Ah great title card
ok but ....* slows down frames and saves some of them* WHAT’S THIS
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Whatever let’s just go back to more pressing matters
Lol that is so not Misha carrying Jack tho
Giulia: Misha’s fingers be that thick
Zee: Focus
Giulia: Lol dean reaching for that booze, I mean SAME.
Nat : AW CAS
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Giulia: Awe SAM
Zee: Sam panting
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D: He didn’t deserve this
Kat: Aw
S: Cass, is he here? C- C-Can you... Can you...?
Giulia: SAM 
Nat : "I don't think so"
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Nat : I cry
Giulia: I CRY
Giulia: Sam’s pain is physical
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Giulia: I cannot
I mean,...they do look like zombies. 
D: Chuck... He said, "Welcome to the End”.  What... What does that mean?
Zee: Welcome to the end
D: Cass? Come on, man! Ideas!
Team free Stress
Giulia: It means final season
D: Can you smite our way out of here?
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Zee: Cas squint
C: No. You saw them. I would be overwhelmed, Dean.
Well I honestly thought Dean actually asked if Cas could fly them off there....which...well don’t think it can happen if the state of his wings are the same, BUT STILL, we don’t actually know becasue PLOTHOLES. But whatever man, I still love my show.
D: Great. So we go outside, we get ripped apart. We stay in here, w- what, starve to death?!
C: I wouldn’t starve
Nat : WELL GOOD FOR YOU
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Giulia: WeLl gOoD fOr yOu
Kat: Love the sass
D: Son of a bitch
the fandom:  * CHEERS*
Giulia: Sure he knew
D: He's always so squirrelly, you know, with the...with the... the robe and the beard and...the smile that's, like, half-nice, half "I'm gonna rip your throat out. "
Giulia: Oh that true
Nat : Aw Dean
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Giulia: AHAHAHA
Giulia: DEAN’s SALTY AF
Nat : Me
Zee: Those fingers tho
Giulia: Why don t they let cas do that, come on
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Nat : So much grunting and panting in the first couple of minutes
Nat : I love it
Giulia: Gotta isolate just those
Nat: Cas doesn't want to help
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Giulia: Nice
Nat : AH well
Zee: Hello
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Giulia: …
Giulia: WELL HELLO GOOD MORNING TO ME
Nat : Now he did
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a wild Jack appears
Nat : Ah
Zee: What?
Nat : what
Kat: Hahahahahaha
Giulia: JESUS CHRIST
Nat : IN THE HELL
Giulia: the fuck
Kat: Demon!Jack
Giulia: OH COME ON
Nat : AW DEMON JACK
d!Jack: HELLO
S: Jack! you are alive
oh Sam...baby
Zee: Shut up
d!Jack: I- I'd do the whole eyes thing, but, uh, yeah, no eyes.
Nat : WITH SASS
Team free confused
Zee: Blending
Kat: Weekend at Bernie’s haha
Giulia: SO GOOD THO
Nat : Nice glasses
C: Get out of him
Zee: What he said
d!Jack : Okay? Uh, where do I start? Like at the first day of school. Uh, hi.Uh, my name is Belphegor. And, I'm, uh, here from...
Angry Cass approaching
C: i said get out of him. I’m not gonna ask again
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me: 
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D: Cass. Let him speak.
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C: He's an abomination!
Giulia: AWE CAS
Nat : Cas is having none of it
B: You're an abomination with that stupid, dumb trench coat.
Kat: You’re an abomination with that trenchcoat 🤣
Zee: I love Cas
Giulia: but also love Alex
Giulia: STUPID DUMB TRENCHCOAT
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Zee: Listen to your husband Cas
C: He is defiling Jack's corpse!
D: But if he can help... [angrily] Jack's gone, alright?
Giulia: STOP IT DEAN
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Giulia: sob
S: So we are...
B: The Winchesters
Nat : "I read the papers" lol
B: Anyway, I'm guessing this whole, uh, Hellmouth thing is kind of, uh, you?
i MEAN HE’S NOT WRONG
C: No. It was God.
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B: Okay, okay. Look. I-I'm not some crossroad demon. I'm not even one of those black-eyed goons
Giulia: Who the fuck are u
Nat : Virgin puppies  EW
Nat : TwinSiEs
Nat : snorts
Giulia: We are NOT twinsies
Cas is ready to slap a bitch
Giulia: So strange seeing jack like that tho
Nat : But so good
Zee: He be good
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B: Ohh. Little spell. You know, nothing major. Just need some graveyard dirt... and some, uh, angel blood.
Giulia: Yeah, of course, let s use cas again
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*Snort* .... he’s so offeded
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WHAT A MOOD
Nat : what
Giulia: What he do
Nat : WHAT
Giulia: Really
Nat : who is that
Nat: HOW
Giulia: Oh come on
Giulia: I DONT TRUST THIS
Nat : ME NEITHER HIGH FIVE
Giulia: TOO EASY
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B: Hey it worked! High five
Giulia: WHAT
Nat : I'LL PUNCH YOU
Well I wouldn’t want to be the graveyard guys in the morning
Nat : Ah that music
Zee: Future deaths
Nat : Ah bloody mary
Giulia: “oH mY gOd” Who still does that anyway
Nat : Bloody Mary messes with cellphones now
Giulia: A bitch gotta get on with the future
Giulia: Those nails be nasty
Nat : Mhh...  She's more evil than before I would guess
B: I mean, come on. I look good.
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Giulia: That cas squint
Giulia: Yeah Cas does not like
Nat : Cas is suspicious
Nat : They act like they're surprised about 2-3billion souls in hell
Kat: I was surprised the number was that low
B: Imagine a salt circle a mile wide No ghosts get in, no ghosts get out.
S: Yeah. Great. Okay.
C: NO. That town... Harlan, Kansas...is less than a mile from the cemetery.
D: Then we get everybody out.
C: How?
D: WE LIE
Giulia: what else is nee
Giulia: Nee
Giulia: New
Nat : lol
Zee: New
Nat : Nee
Giulia: Great Another typo that will hunt us all
Giulia: Why this time the blood looks fake af
Nat : That my car
Zee: Woman in white
S: Dean, this could be our woman in white.
D: Dude. We sent her to Hell years ago.
S:Yeah, but she could be back.
Nat : Dean just realized
D: Well, if she's back, then they're all back. Every last one that we ever killed.
Giulia: I also just realized that we are seeing them again. My babies. I hugged those bitches S.  O. B
Nat : Aw bb
Kat: Lucky you
Zee: Giuls bb. Shut the fuck up please
I must say tho....that must have felt really depressing for them...I mean..all their work just ...puff....
Giulia: Fuck clows
Nat : Ah no
Giulia: Fuck them
Nat : Stupid clowns
Giulia: Fuck off
Giulia: Drive the fucking car into the door
Nat : Wouldn't get through.
Kat: No keys
Nat : Not enough space to fully accelerate
Zee: So much science
Giulia: Ugh true
Zee: Wtf is sam’s hair?
D: We can handle the evac, so why don't you grab Crowley Jr. here whatever he needs for his spell?
C: NO
D: 
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Well he didn’t expect that 
C: Dean, I can't. I-I...I can't even look at him.
Giulia: AWE CAS
Nat : Aw Cas
Giulia: AWE AWEEEEEE
Giulia: IM HURT.IM BADLY HURT
C: Um... I...
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Awe I think even Dean expected that reaction from Cas. I’m so hurt y’all....so hurt.
WHAT ARE THOSE ROLLING EYES DEAN JFC
Giulia: that sheriff a bit out of it
Kat: Small town. Probably doesn’t have to do much
Nat : Jack probably has his own agenda. "Jack"
Giulia: Yeah
Belphy seeing the gun with that ridiculous nerd name: um....what’s that?
D: Don’t worry about it
B: ok cool
B: So, people are, like, crazy good-looking now, eh?
D: what
B: I mean, the last time I was on Earth, I mean, I was human. Ah, it was a while ago. I mean, but, you know, we were all worshipping308 this giant rock that looked like a huge penis, and...
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Giulia: Wait what
Kat: Huge penis rock
Giulia: thank you
B: Anyway, folks back then, they were, uh, ugly. You know? Had a lot of humps. I mean, a lot.
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B:  Look at 'em now.
D: 
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B:I mean, look at you . I mean, you're, uh, you know, gorgeous
Giulia: HE IS
ALL OF US : WE KNOW
Nat : GET THE FUCK IN LINE FAKE JACK
Kat: BEHIND ME
B: So, uh...who was... he, anyway? 
D: He was our kid. Kinda.
Zee: Our kid
Giulia: OMG NO SOB
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Nat: I cry
Zee: Shut up dean
Kat: OUR KID
Giulia: IM SO HURT
D: Alright. So, what do you need for this spell?
B: you know, nothing much. Big bag of salt.
D: Easy
B: And a... And a human heart.
Giulia: a human heart
Nat : what else ,easy
Kat: OF COURSE
Giulia: CAS LOOKS YUMMY YUUUUUMMY
Kat: OF COURSE
Giulia: LOOK AT HIM
Nat : Giuls people are dying
Giulia: HEWWO
Zee: And thicc
Nat : "insert Kim K gif"
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Giulia: WELL AT LEAST THEY HAVE A NICE THING TO LOOK AT
Giulia: Nice thic, tan things
Giulia: With great hair
Giulia: Nice eyes
Giulia: I should focus
Nat : Cas saw?
Zee: Yeah
Giulia: So thic
Kat: Aw poor dead girls
Nat : GIULS FOCUS
Giulia: That shirt is crying for mercy
Giulia: Yeah yeah Sorry
Giulia: *keeps looking at those pecs*
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Giulia: NO SAM WITH KIDS IM WEAK
Zee: Sam should stop exhaling like that
Nat : NO
Kat: Jared is 4 times the size of that kid
Giulia: STOP HURTING HIM
Kat: Yeah
Zee: Yeah bitch
Giulia: YAS CAS
Kat: I KNOW
Nat : Did Sam treat his bullet wound tho
Giulia: Probably just patched up
Giulia: angel with a shotgun
I love when Cas take care of Sam...so soft.
Nat : that's not a big bag of salt, Dean
D: Rowena, we need your help, so move your ass. What? No, I'm not...Move your exquisite ass, please.
Zee: Exquisite ass
Kat: EXQUISITE ASS PLEASE
Giulia: MOVE YOUR EXQUISITE ASS
D: Here’s your salt
US: Thanks we have plenty 
B: im a fan
Giulia: NO
Zee: Oh no bitch
Zee: NO
B: Yeah, I-I didn't want to say it in front of the other guys,but when you were in Hell, with Alastair, I, uh... I got a chance to watch you work. And, I mean, the things you did to those people, I mean, it wasn't torture. 
Kat: FUCKING ASSHOLE DEMON
Nat : OH NO
Giulia: BAD CHOICE OF WORDS
Giulia: FUCK
Nat : IT WAS ART
Kat: iT waS ArT
Giulia: Is it bad that I wanna watch that tho
Zee: WATCH WHAT?
Nat : YES
Giulia: DEAN’S “ART”
Zee: Wtf is wrong with you ?
B: And then every door in Hell just sprang open all at once.
D: Wait. Every door? Even the Cage?
Nat : Even the cage
Nat : OH NO
D: And Michael?
B: Well, last I heard, he was just sittin' there. Yeah, but if he got out, I mean... Ugh.
Giulia: Lol ADAM
B: I mean...he wouldn't hold a grudge, right?
Giulia: *SNORTS* SURE
Nat : Ah that looks nasty
Kat: YALL WATCH CAREFULLY COMING UP
Zee: Can I love Cas in this ep?
Giulia: Oh cas can mend shirt too
Nat : SNORTS
Nat : WHAT DO YOU MEAN
Nat : Ah
Giulia: i don t like what is going on
Kat: JUST WATCH
Zee: Fuck
Nat : I HATE THIS KAT
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Giulia: WHAT
Nat : AH NO
Giulia: NO
Nat : SHIT WHAT
Kat: I TOLD YOU
Giulia: WHAT WAS THAT
Nat : WHAT IS GOING ON
Nat : EVIL SAM IS IN THAT WOUND
But let us take a blurred , closer, look tho: 
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*GASPS*
THAT’S THIC BEARD DEAN
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YUM
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those are definitely black eyes. 
WHAT IS GOING OOOOOOOOOOON
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Giulia: Oh I remember that clock, leave a comment if you do too.
Nat : btw All the ghosts don't look very scary
Kat: All these ghosts look old af
Zee: Them bow legs
Giulia: Look at that strut
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Kat: Fresh would be better lol
B: cOOL
Giulia: Zee’s that u
Casually punching a hole into someone chest to rip a heart out
Giulia: Got a heart
Nat : WHAT
Kat: Damn fake Jack
Zee: Get away kid
Nat : YOU DON'T SAY
Nat : GOOD FOR YOU
Giulia: Oh the lake ghost
Giulia: Oh ya RUN BB RUN
Kat: That kid is too calm
Zee: It’s not ok
Giulia: it s noooot
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Nat : No, he didn't
Nat : Sam did
Zee: You shot me
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Giulia: SNORTSP
Kat: You shot me 🤣🤣
Kat: Bad ghost bad
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Giulia: Well that was scary
Nat : Stop hurting Sam
Zee: STOP HURTING SAM
Giulia: OH LOOK I LOVE CAS WITH THE SHOTGUN
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Zee: WE BEEN KNEW
Nat : OF COURSE YOU DO
Giulia: AWE HE S SAVING SAM
Nat : The ghosts all look weird af
Giulia: True
Kat: They are 15 years older okay
Giulia: Must be the daylight
Zee: I don’t trust jack
Giulia: well is not jack
Giulia: AWE
Nat : AH HE IS FAST HE HAS LONG LEGS
Giulia: I’m worried about Misha's hip
Zee: Shut up
Giulia: Shut up
Kat: AAAAAHHHHH SHUT UP
Giulia: Good gif to use
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Nat : he said it like Stepford Sam
Kat: MMHHMM
Giulia: Right?
Giulia: Listen to that PUR
Kat: SO GOOD
Giulia: the angel thing
Nat : So 4 people fit in the back
Nat : lol
Giulia: GOOD TO KNOW
Nat : Ah, not sexual
Zee: Or two horizontal ones
Kat: Well one is a small child
Giulia: Me and Nat are small child size
Nat : Yes
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D:  You okay?
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C: Yes, but...
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Giulia: UGH
Nat : lol
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B: Wow! Awkward WANNA TALK ABOUT IT
Zee: Is that a no?
Nat : LISTEN TO HIM DEAN
Zee: That’s a no
Kat: Ooohhh they so pissed
Giulia: SO PISSED
Giulia: SO TENSE
Nat : SO HOT
Giulia: THEY SHOULD RELAX
Giulia: I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW HOW
Giulia: what
D: Right now we get you fixed up.
S: what
Nat : I'M FINE
Giulia: Yeah open that shirt
Nat : Do you hear that
Nat : FIIIIIINNNEEEEEEE
D: We've been going nonstop. Let me see it.
D: There's no exit wound.
Giulia: DON T TALK LIKE THAT
Nat : Yeah, sure Jan
D: Hey, do you remember when we were little? What I would do to distract you whenever I'd rip off a Band-Aid or something like that?
S: Yeah. You'd tell some stupid joke.
Kat: Omg such a soft moment
Nat : Aw
Nat : Don't come up with old stories now. I'll cry
D: Come on. Knock, knock.
S: Who's...*HISSING*
D: Still got it
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Kat: My boys 😭
Nat : It's Jensen face
The little shit face 
Giulia: Well I don t see white foam
Nat : Are you surprised?
Zee: My god
D: Just when we thought we had a choice. You know, whenever we thought we had free will. We were just rats in a maze. Sure, we could go left. Sure, we could go right. But we were still in the damn maze. Just makes you think, if all of it... you know, everything that we've done...What did it even mean?
S: It meant a lot. We still saved people.
D: Yeah, but what for? You know?  Just so he could throw another End of the World at us and then sit back and chug popcorn?
Giulia: I wanna chug popcorn
Nat : Yeah, ya did Sam
Nat : But I get Dean
Zee: Sam still believes
S: But now he’s gone
Nat : YA THINK
S: He gets bored and... and... and... and pulls the ripcord.I mean, that's what he did with Apocalypse World and... and probably with all of them. He moves on, starts another story. But you know what?
Giulia: GOOD
S: For the first time. It's just us.
Zee: What’s one more apocalypse right?
Giulia: 
“What’s one more apocalypse right?” -shit that SPN fans says
S: When we win this, God's gone There's no one to screw with us. There's no more maze. It's just us. And we're free.
D: So you and me versus every soul in Hell? I like those odds.
D: Well, you know what that means.
S: We got work to do.
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Giulia: WHAT
Giulia: ALREADY
Nat : WHAT
Zee: Why is it over ?
Giulia: ...it flew
Kat: Hehehe
Nat : FINISHED?
Nat : EH
Nat : WAIT WAS THAT 40 MINUTES ALREADY
Kat: That end though
Giulia: ...what
Nat : What
Giulia: What happened
Kat: The throwback
Zee: Yeah it was
Giulia: what trip was that
Zee: I just exhaled
Nat : What was that
Giulia: WE VE GOT WORK TO DO
Giulia: That was so fast
Kat: SOBA
Giulia: TRAILER
Nat : I hate them
Zee: Oh come on
Nat : i am watching trailer now
Giulia: EH NOTHING MUCH
Kat: Yeah
Nat : LOL I KNOW AS MUCH AS I DID BEFORE
Kat: WHAT
Nat : WTF
Kat: IT’S OVER
Nat : I am not overly impressed
Nat : Dean didn’t finish his knock knock joke
Nat : I’m sangry
.
Next -----> 15x02  "Raising Hell"
.
.
.SO ...that was our last first episode screening, ever....GREAT.
If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.
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almaasi · 5 years
Text
reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)
my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL
under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER
--
may 31st 07:36pm nz
i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:
edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE
--
EPISODE 1: In the Beginning
--
04:03pm
idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now
kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing
but right now i wanna watch before writing
so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?
edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen
-
04:04pm
I’M SO EXCITED
I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG
well... since 2011 when i first read the book
but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS
-
04:05
okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS
and then
yeah
no
either way i thought it was a good opening
-
W A R
NING
cool cool cool cool cool
-
omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful
-
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dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE
i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline
this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing
i have never seen pixels this big
-
04:11
okay the quality calmed down after a minute
i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book
i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago
-
also? god is a woman? yes
-
04:13
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is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it
-
i’m so happy adam and eve are black
-
04:17
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omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK
WOW
...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.
-
also i looove how FLUFFY azi is
-
azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”
i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh
-
04:21
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small sob for cuteness
umbella wings
-
04:23
in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish
i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board
-
04:25
the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”
not “crOhwlee”
i definitely like that they’re different though
both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.
-
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THOSE SWAYING HIPS
i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN
somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN
-
i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING
-
04:35
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crowley: shitshitshitshithsit
:D
i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear
-
04:37
i miss eating sushi
sushi was great
-
04:43
this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL
“aaaaurthurrrrr”
nooo
poor lady
-
04:45
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“little toesie woesies”
where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up
-
i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots
-
05:00
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this is reminding me how utterly gross england is
-
“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”
YES
-
05:06
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see in the book
i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise
-
05:11
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digging the snake tattoo sideburns
-
05:14
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and yeah the short hair looks good
-
05:15
fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”
-
05:17
crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”
the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3
-
05:20
aw man they cut out the best part
i mean i get why
the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale
and there were no secret service people with guns
but aw mannn
AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE
THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK
AND IT’S GONE
;C
-
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OH WAIT
THERE’S THE DOVE
OH GOOD
-
aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself
i liked it better in the book
they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off
idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all
could be gayer
-
05:27
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good dog
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05:28
crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed
aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”
crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”
gayyyyyyyyyy <3
-
05:31
okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D
ENJOYING THIS SO FAR
not as gay as expected ........YET
needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”
--
EPISODE 2: The Book
07:42pm
pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”
the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot
-
07:49
fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”
-
07:50
iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying
maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on
but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn
-
07:56
i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk
edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect
-
08:09
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the saddest newt
-
08:13
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she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book
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and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley
-
08:17
i feel so bad for crowley’s plants
poor babies
-
08:19
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for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley
-
08:33
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these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol
-
08:25
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v happy with the casting for pepper
tiny downside is that we lose another redhead
-
08:29
i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time
idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds
-
08:35
crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”
he just sounds like the tenth doctor
-
08:36
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YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE
-
08:48
"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”
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“SHUT IT”
DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD
-
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loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”
-
08:45
i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing
-
08:48
freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE
BIIIIIIII CYCLE
yeah i was waiting for that
-
crowley: “get in, angel”
HE MURMURED
DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo
-
09:00
end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3
-
the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”
OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later
edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years
--
EPISODE 3: Hard Times
09:05pm
brb gotta get some food
-
09:14
and now i wait for food
EPISODE THREE LET’S GO
is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?
-
09:16
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i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive
-
09:21
ah yes
aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley
“oh... that’s your job”
i love this part of their dynamic
-
09:29
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i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3
-
09:43
SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS
YEE
-
i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history
-
09:36
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“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”
this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt
-
09:49
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CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS
and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS
THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY
k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3
-
09:50
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this angel just fell in love
right in that moment
i see cartoon hearts around him
-
09:54
just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c
-
09:56
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awwwwwwwwwwwwww 
he got him holy waterrrrrrr
-
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UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING
-
definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now
-
09:59
LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE
-
10:03
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throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned
I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES
-
10:12
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i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup
-
10:27
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“we can go off together”
omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE
-
10:31
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okay then
good eyelashes
edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving
-
10:32
episode three DONE
these eps don’t feel long enough
maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows
i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why
--
EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime
10:48pm
aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3
fuck u gabriel and your body shaming
-
10:53
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i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK
so............... i know he will be...... eventually
-
10:55
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how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s
-
oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong
-
11:02
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“maud i love you”
noo ho hoooo
-
11:09
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a little douglas adams, definitely
BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK
AWW
-
11:10
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the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn
though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect
-
11:12
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“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”
i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising
edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date
-
11:20
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that’s a v nice dress/top combo
gosh she’s so pretty
-
11:30
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crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”
aw baby
-
crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”
THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO
why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c
-
11:37
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oh no, this part
i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots
damn you gaiman
-
11:39
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he’s so cute
and so gay
-
11:42
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uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”
he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend
i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley
-
11:46
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i thought it was a strange throne before
a spider at the centre of a web
dark halo
yeah
-
11:51
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oh now she’s a redhead???
-
also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book
-
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okay never mind
hmm
-
12:05
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aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
-
12:07
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oh no
it’s happening
oh no
i hate this part but i love what happens because of it
-
12:29am
i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE
-
EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option
12:31
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nuuuuuuuuuu
and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi
nuuuuuu
-
“somebody killed my best friend”
jfhsdfjsdj
/sobs
-
12:36
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freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”
edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.
-
12:46
crowley: “i lost my best friend”
he says, while crying, while talking to that friend
-
THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED
THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER
-
azi wanted to share crowley’s body
and then said they had to get a wiggle on
-
12:52
they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen
i figured they would, but still a shame
-
1:54
in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go
now she’s irish which is... better, probably
-
01:01
ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”
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this guy’s having the time of his life
-
01:03
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he wave
-
01:05
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1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala
-
01:08
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omg gotta translate and explain the road
-
01:13
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OH NO the maggots are about to happen
they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing
-
OH NO
-
k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined
-
01:31
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omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up
i wonder if that was intentional
dog: I DO NOT WANT UP
-
01:34
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pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman
-
01:44am
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10/10 flaming car
-
EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives
01:51am
here we go...
-
01:55
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azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3
-
01:57
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rip bentley
-
01:59
aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”
crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”
-
02:06
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i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book
and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel
pepper = war
wensleydale = famine
brian = pollution
adam = death
the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese
-
02:14
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pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”
/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
-
02:25
shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”
earlier anathema said “boyfriend”
may i point out that all the adults are paired up
shadwell & madame tracy
newt & anathema
......and....
aziraphale and crowley
-
0:28
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crowley: “we are FUCKED”
these two need a holiday
-
azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”
he knows crowley loves him aww
perfect blackmail material
-
02:32
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they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick
-
02:35
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thought they were holding hands for a second there
edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart
-
02:39
happy ending for the postman, hooray~
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crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”
awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
-
02:42
CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI
-
02:45
anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”
newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”
i laughed
this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered
-
02:51
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i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good
-
03:00
gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”
really enjoying these swears
-
03:03
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i thought so
-
03:30am
paused for a bit to get ready for bed
i thought it was after 4am but nope
-
“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”
that genuinely makes me emotional
i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them
-
03:35
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omg
-
OH MY GOD
WAIT
THEY
OH MY GOD
THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES
HOLY SHIT
edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE
-
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crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?
azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”
THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE
-
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“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”
perfect
STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME
-
that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed
-
credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN
WOW
OKAY
AKSFJDSF /snorts
-
the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out
i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD
i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too
i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out
but 
this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book
-
this nightingale song is my new favourite song
i never got the reference before
“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:
GAY
SO GAY
i love
-
the end of the credits “For Terry”
ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING
TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS
NEIL DID YOU PROUD
-
oh this was so beautiful
i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now
azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS
ugh i love them more than ever
anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 
the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.
like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion
gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.
i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.
my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3
this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well
OH
we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen
and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.
look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.
favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.
--
shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge
IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS
04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT
congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY
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Text
Hear me out
Okay I LOVE Role Reversal AU’s. Honestly if I was to look at an Angel!Crowley, it would probably be Crowley 11 years before Armageddidn’t when he still had long hair (Or maybe his Garden of Eden hair) with golden brown eyes. Like sunshine through a whiskey bottle. The angel that asked questions with little answers and went searching for his own, no one pays him any mind because well he’s harmless and only interested in growing things. His own perfect garden. *cough* he miracles his favorite plants *cough* *cough* He owns so much beige and gold including his sunglasses. His shop is called AJ C. Lee and CO (Don’t call him AJ btw) His smile can melt your heart but he is notoriously sarcastic. Nanny Ashtoreth is basically Mary Poppins except always having beautiful flowers in her hat and coat, even with the harsh winter. She always wore pearls. He is a beautiful white snack with golden scales sprinkled on his back. This honestly fits with the Raphael theory too.
NOW AZIRAPHALE!!! For this much I much two! (I’ve been trying to pick a demon name and I can’t think of it. I like Asmodeus but they represent lust, Mammon is more monetary greed rather greed plainly, I really want something along autodidact which means self-taught)
First one is actual Aziraphale as a demon. Piercing blue eyes, almost unrealistically. Always dressed in off-black and greys. ALWAYS LOOKS COMFY YET STYLISH. He will literally lose it if his black designer coat befalls so much as a drop of water. He owns like ten leather jackets. His house is covered wall to wall in books, some stolen, some bought, some taken from the library and ‘accidentally’ never returned. Cast out from creating things he just wasn’t supposed to but loved to anyway. He loves to learn btw. He plays dumb tricks on the people in his building for funsies. Also plays pranks on the people that are regulars in and out of Crowley’s shop. Basically anyone who has the misfortune of passing him will be filled with the wrath of Aziraphale because he knows nothing sets humans off other than one or multiple minor inconveniences. I promise you this man made the every scary animal you can think of. He was young and had a lot of feelings okay. He most likely has a beard that he keeps cleanly shaven at all times and Crowley hates it with a passion. Or somewhat stubble that Crowley hates EVEN MORE. He is petty. SO VERY PETTY. Brother Francis hated gardening and most of his plants were made by Nanny Crowley to keep him in the staff. He read to Warlock so much though. Aziraphale owns a classic Harley that he actually knows how to drive. I think his animal would range from a panther to a black cat with striking blue eyes. 
The other Aziraphale I had in mind would be played by Timothy Omundson. Take Crowley’s exact attitude and put it in blue eyed beauty and that’s all I could think of. This is the Demon!Aziraphale I see with an owl as his animal.
Ironically I looked up and researched so much for the first demon!Aziraphale that I can’t bear to part with him. Anything extra I’ll expand upon. Probably...
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ao3feed-goodomens · 5 years
Text
Amaryllis [or: how to insult your boss in the kindest, most unsuspected way]
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2jPc9Mb
by Hximweh
[Florist!AU] And yet the request he heard from the man who had been nervously wandering among the plants for some minutes, as if he was unsure about what to do, and who then, in a sudden impetus of bravery, had slammed some banknotes on the counter before he even uttered a single word, well, that request for sure would have easily surpassed everything he ever heard before.
-How do I say “fuck you” using flowers?- . . . or: Crowley is a florist, Aziraphale is a complicated costumer, and both of them end up being affected by that ineffable entity known as "love at first sight"
Words: 1590, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: florist!AU, Crowley is a florist, Aziraphale is a costumer in his shop, First Meeting, kind of flirting, Crowley is a chaotic gay, Aziraphale is a lawful gay, they're gay disasters, They meet, they flirt, perhaps they'll meet again, God knows, incredibly it doesn't take Aziraphale 6000 years to take a hint, Fluff, Lots of flowers, Language of Flowers, Gabriel is mentioned, he doesn't appear but he's pretty important tbh, i imagine crowley having long hair in this but you do you, Anthony Janthony Crowley is the worst at flirting, btw they're both humans in this, Translation
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2jPc9Mb
12 notes · View notes
ao3feed-crowley · 5 years
Text
Amaryllis [or: how to insult your boss in the kindest, most unsuspected way]
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2jPc9Mb
by Hximweh
[Florist!AU] And yet the request he heard from the man who had been nervously wandering among the plants for some minutes, as if he was unsure about what to do, and who then, in a sudden impetus of bravery, had slammed some banknotes on the counter before he even uttered a single word, well, that request for sure would have easily surpassed everything he ever heard before.
-How do I say “fuck you” using flowers?- . . . or: Crowley is a florist, Aziraphale is a complicated costumer, and both of them end up being affected by that ineffable entity known as "love at first sight"
Words: 1590, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: florist!AU, Crowley is a florist, Aziraphale is a costumer in his shop, First Meeting, kind of flirting, Crowley is a chaotic gay, Aziraphale is a lawful gay, they're gay disasters, They meet, they flirt, perhaps they'll meet again, God knows, incredibly it doesn't take Aziraphale 6000 years to take a hint, Fluff, Lots of flowers, Language of Flowers, Gabriel is mentioned, he doesn't appear but he's pretty important tbh, i imagine crowley having long hair in this but you do you, Anthony Janthony Crowley is the worst at flirting, btw they're both humans in this, Translation
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2jPc9Mb
1 note · View note
giroshane · 5 years
Text
*arises from the deep swamped by homework, actual work, moving, and various other life stresses*
im here at 3AM with some Good Omens headcanons bc tbh rn Crowley and Aziraphale are the only things keeping me going at this point
this is just my own shit there’s like no real support from the book (which i read when really young and don’t really remember and need to reread) or show (ive only had the time to watch episode 1 im DYING) here to my knowledge i was just really inspired by a fanart that had crowley’s hair catch fire when he was flustered and im love shit like that
and btw i dont think ANY of this is coherent 
Things Crowley does when (properly) Flustered
hair begins to smoke, and eventually, catch fire (after the first few close calls with Aziraphale Crowley trained himself ridiculously to keep it under control or at least out of Az’s sight)
He’ll start clearing his throat awkwardly. While a normal human tic, for Crowley it’s because it’s do that or breathe smoke like a dragon, and he’d rather save that power move for when he’s ANGRY, not when Aziraphale has gotten him a lovely rare plant.
in similar vein, he heats up! Space heater Crowley! Demons and angels both run hot but in diiiifferent ways. It’s funny because Az will cozy up to Crowley if it’s too cold, which will make Crowley heat up, which will make Az cozy up more, and the circle of stupidity continues
i just realized this before posting that by this logic if u make Crowley emotional enough u could probably cook an egg on him and im dying 
Stresses his sibilants (ive seen this a lot and i fucking LOVE IT hh h) (I imagine it might be frustrating when it impedes his actual speech, like trying to insult someone whose got on his nerves and going  “ssssSSSSssSSs-ss-sSTUPID! Fuck!”) (Az thinks its funny. And cute. Doesn’t quite pick up that it happens far more often when they’re together than when they’re apart bc he thinks its just a Snake Thing)
Scents the air (snake tongue thing) (this is more when he’s nervous than flustered--it’s a defense mechanism) (DANGER WHERE??? CHECK SURROUNDINGS)
alternately, scents air around Aziraphale (i mean, come on, “I know what you smell like”). After a certain point it becomes reassuring, that comforting familiar friend smell, yanno? I’ve been slightly spoilered, so god it just gets so much worse when Az comes back after being discorporated, bc then Crowley is just desperate for that reassurance. Az does notice this, and in fact realizes why. Good soul that he is, and knowing of Crowley that he is, he doesn’t comment on it.
Pupils dilate. What’s the point of snake eyes if they don’t do the thing!!! Come on!!! the show copped out tbh by not having it at all. (this is easily hidden tho bc those DARN GLASSES UGH snake eyes are the coolest shit man) (they say, as they have an oc with snake eyes who ALSO hides his eyes with dark glasses all. the. time.)
Things Aziraphale does when (properly) Flustered
You’d think he’d get flustered easily (and he does!) but that bastard’s self-control is BEAST MODE (he can’t have the humans know anything! Nope! And Certainly Not Crowley Either! And tbh he’s fairly emotive for an angel so it’s also hiding from his siblings because he’d get ridiculed for it and that sucks)
He doesn’t catch fire, he glows, Stardust style (fuck yeah another gaiman classic i just remembered FUCK GAIMAN KNOWS MY WEAKNESSES). If he’s not careful (it’s holy light) it can burn (demons easiest, then humans), which is another reason he suppresses it. Crowley has caught him vaguely shining through the windows of the bookshop while engrossed in a particularly amazing book.
In the 1940s Crowley thought his ass nearly caught fire when he walked away from Aziraphale because the church grounds were still a lil holy but nah it was because for a split second Az holding that briefcase LIT UP SO DAMN BRIGHT
He doesn’t heat up like Crowley does. If Crowley heats up like a campfire, Az heats up like a UV lamp; like celestial radiation, more than warmth. Crowley, snake that he is, loves it regardless. 
Wings. You wouldn’t see anything but his shoulders fidgeting but it’s like he’s nervously adjusting his wings. (if they were visible you’d see he definitely would be. Also, they would be flapping a little) (the worst this ever gets he’ll actually levitate off the ground just the tiniest iota) (able to pass it off as rising on his toes)
Wind. Somewhat a subset of the wings, somewhat Az’s own celestial power. Breezes pick up. Gusts of wind this way and that. Aziraphale almost never has windows open in the shop and somehow Crowley hasn’t noticed that there’s sometimes a draft regardless. (Az misses when Crowley had long hair. His breezes would catch it so nicely)
If he’s in his shop (or has any books on hand) he’ll start fussing with a book (gently!). He’ll open it and thumb the pages or rub his hands over the covers, or tap it. Hug it to his chest. Nice tactile sensation, very grounding
this is more when he’s furious than when he’s flustered, but that celestial radiation? Can and Will fuck with the weather on a large enough scale. You’ll taste the ozone in the fucking air. im talkin Thunder and lightning, baby. Az can be just as dramatic as Crowley.
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bamby0304 · 6 years
Text
Bamby Reacts- SPN 14x01
Okay, so... I know I was gonna wait for it to come on TV but I lost... and won at the same time, ‘cause I watched Supernatural 14x01!! I wasn’t gonna do anything like this, but the second I saw Sam I knew I had to write my reactions down, so here we go :):)
Below the cut is a little bit of complaining about Danneel (don’t get me wrong, though, I like her), some curse words, and obviously spoilers. Also... it’s a long post...
So… the ‘previously’ thing ends and I see Sam and I actually made a noise and quivered. Like… fuck me… holy shit… my insides everywhere vibrated…
And then I realised he’s driving Baby and my heart broke…
MICHAEL!DEAN
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Fuck me, Jensen needs to talk in other languages more often.
I’ve got literal chills and I’m only… 3:04 into the ep.
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I just wanna mount him…
Now that ^ that’s out of the way… I shall continue.
"Gabriel?", "The other one. The better one." - Now, now, Mikey, lying is a sin, you know.
I mean, at least the guy didn’t say Lucifer… that would have been hilarious!!
"What do you want?" - Dean, you ass.
Ooh!! Ooh!! I like the title card!!
I don’t know if it’s all the fics I’ve read… but I don’t think I can trust Ketch, no matter how much Mary believes in him.
Sam’s taking charge out of the bedroom… it’s hot.
I love Maggie.
BOBB-EH!!
Who is this douche in glasses??
"Castiel, darling." - BARFF
DOUCHEBAG IS A DE-MON!!
"Joined at the… you know… everything." - again, I say… BARFF
Oh God and the slurping… hurry up and die, douchebag.
"I’ll speak slower" - I love you Cas.
"You will tell me everything you know, or I will burn you to ash. Right here and right now." - in that raspy tone… jeez, Cas, let a girl breathe.
Question, though… why couldn’t Cas see all the demon faces??
"CAS!! NO!!" is what I yelled when they started punching him.
Ooh!! Pretty church windows!!
Sister Jo… look, I’m not not a fan of Danneel… but I kinda wish Supernatural was a Dani free place. I know, it’s not fair and I sound stupid, but bringing Danneel into it kind makes me feel awks about loving Dean so much. I swear, if they get down and dirty, I may actually throw a fit or cry. Just sayin’.
But, also, I actually think Danneel is gorg and sweet… I just want Dean to myself :)
"Hey Jo” - am I the only one who thinks she should have been called Judy so Michael could have said, "Hey Jude" instead??
"You don’t recognise me with this pretty face?" - at least we know Michael isn’t blind.
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Oh… shit… Michael is pretty…
How turned on do you think Jensen and Danneel got in this scene?? ‘Cause the way he’s looking at her… I don’t think that’s all Michael.
"What do you want?”
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IF YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, WHY FUCKING ASK?!?!
He says ‘human’ like it’s a dirty word…
Ooh!! He’s awake (I already know who it is, but I’m still intrigued)
Sam stepping up and taking on the role of caring for Jack… that conversation… it felt very father-son like
Side note: Jack’s hair looks nice this season.
You can do it, Sammy :) xx
Oh, the look on Sam’s face is breaking my heart, honestly…
"Oh, hey Sam,” sounds too fucking much like Lucifer. Cut that shit out, Nick!!
I know a lot of people don’t read The Hart, and even if you do you guys don’t know what happens throughout the seasons, but the shit Lizzie goes through with Lucifer… I can’t look at Nick right now.
At least Nick knows what happened. I think… I think it’s better that way.
“Must be weird, you looking at me and seeing him." - understatement.
Good job, Sammy!! I’m proud of you :) xx
One second this dude has a southern accent, the next it’s a little British… how many demons are in that meat suit?? Or is this a dissociative identity disorder kinda deal??
Mary: It’s a trap. Sam: Yep. Me: Good job you two.
“He just told you he’s a demon?", "Yeah. Seemed pretty proud of it, too." - of course he did. He’s a douchebag.
Sam has gum in his mouth and I’m pretty sure it’s Jared’s, not his.
Jack stating, "I’m coming, too” made me laugh out loud, literally.
"Castiel you sure I can’t get you hot… and black?” - is… is he insinuating what I think he’s insinuating?? He’s… he’s making a move on Cas. What a d-bag.
Ah, yes, the roll of Castiel’s eyes. Perfection!!
Oh no *literal groan* do I have to listen to his childhood story or some shit now?? Really?? The villain speech??
Oh. My. Fucking. God. He’s seen Michael.
The three d’s and the Douchebag!! Should be a band name.
Wait, wait wait!! Let me guess!! He wants to be the new King of Hell??
"And? What is it?” - Castiel, I love you.
“Everything”
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Sam’s voice is breaking and so is my heart!!
“Michael could have burned him out, or worse.” - I was going to say there’s nothing worse… but then I remembered what Lucifer put Sam through, and everything Gadreel did while in Sam, and yeah. Yeah there’s worse.
I’m not a huge Mary fan, but her determination to continue to fight for Dean is swaying me.
The guy walking up to Sam… is he leering?? I don’t blame you dude, but don’t objectify my man, ‘kay??
I swear d-bag has had 20 different accents in less than 30 minutes -.-
@crispychrissy​ yeah, I agree… that guy patting Sam down… I would love to be in his shoes. ‘Whoops… my hand slipped.’
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It’s Sam Fucking Winchester, thank you very much, d-bag.
HE PUSHED MY SAMM-EH!!
“The shoulders. The hair. Mm-mmm.” - d-bag isn’t blind either
“You are my Beyonce." - Right-o mate, settle down there.
“I don’t damage the merchandise.” - HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS FACE, DOUCHEBAG?!?!
Sam gives zero fucks.
"Let’s make a deal.” - you’re dead.
And then Sam frowns and I swoon and yeah, it was a good time.
"I’m a demon. That’s what we do.” - I instantly started humming Katy Perry’s This is How We Do
Him tapping on the chair… Imma rip that finger off and shove it in his ass in a second.
"Barbarian.” - excuse me?? Weren’t you just talking about eating babies?? And do not talk about my Sammy like that.
"What do you want?” - is there a broken record player somewhere??
"Asmodeus Kentucky fried." - finally he came up with something good!!
Sam interrupting him is a big turn on.
By the way, I’m currently a little lonely, so everything Sam and Michael does is a turn on right now. Sorry, not sorry.
"Yes you do. Or you will.” - IS THAT A THREAT, MOTHER FUCKER?!?!
Now, while I don’t want there to be a king, if there was going to be one he would be on the bottom of my list of candidates.
"I want to work with you, Sam.” - this guy is an idiot
Don’t talk to Cas like you’re a threat. I will squash you like a bug.
Sam and Dean never turned their backs on demon activity… they just got… busy.
"We never gave Crowley that deal.” - Ooh!! Called it!!
Don’t fucking insult Crowley, Douchebag. You have no right. No foot to stand on. In fact, Imma cut those feet off and give those shoes to a Hellhound if you don’t shut up. Puppy could use a chew toy.
“I would eat your heart.” - YOU WOULD STARVE!!
"I’m not afraid of you.” - You should be.
"No.” - oh Sam you know how to turn a girl on!
This guy does a lot of talking…
BOBB-EH!! D:
SAMM-EH!! D:
"Balls.” - it’s all good!! Bobby’s fine!!
"Stab them with the pointy end.” - does Maggie watch Game of Thrones??
NO!! D-BAG HAS THE KNIFE!! D:
Sam looks nice in that jacket, btw
YAY!! D-Bag is dead!!
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“There will be no new King of Hell.”
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“And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me.” - oh baby, don’t tempt me.
So turned on right now.
Poor Jack…
Cas is just too much right now!!
*gasp* UNKNOWN CALLING!!
Oh.. it’s just Jo.
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spnreactionblogging · 5 years
Text
raising hell
SPOILERS BELOW 
okay I really learned my lesson last time about not typing this directly into tumblr so it's going into notepad first and then I'm pasting it over
I have angel's envy for the episode in general, which I will be drinking gradually as a special occasion just for S15 as it airs, and also devil's cut for this episode in particular because I hear buckleming wrote it and I'm toasting to crowley and drinking that one if/when something fucked up inevitably happens to kevin
I'm SO FUCKING GLAD to see osric in this btw just like. I love him he's so good I'm glad he's back
I've tried to avoid spoilers but from what glimpses I've seen before I could glance away it sounds like maybe some meta shit is getting into territory I was also going into with the kevin/crowley/castiel fic I'm doing? so super intrigued to see where that goes but also not getting my hopes up because I fear the writing is going to drop the ball
I love meta shit though I'm so here for it, I gotta double back for time travel shenanigans in Lebanon
okay anyway let's start
oh and apparently rob benedict had a stroke a while back?? and i'm so glad he's all right, here are the signs of a stroke if you need to refresh because you really ought to know what to look for https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/03/too-young-to-have-a-stroke-think-again I had this open in a tab from someone totally different on twitter
I like the "road closed" sign we start with because it seems thematically on point for like... shutting down the infinite potential of stories as they are not done being told, and as all those doors close
it's not a buckleming episode unless it starts off with gratuitous violence against women
the amazon subtitles are spelling it "benzine" [sic] and it's pissing me off
I love jared playing sam playing an FBI agent who's nervous about delivering speeches
crams all this sam and cas footage into my mouth
I don't believe "belphegor" at all but I love seeing alex playing this part
this implication that belphegor has teamed up with a hunter previously.........
pretty impressed with these townspeople actually? their concerns are not unreasonable and they're right to be skeptical
pffffff at this parallel of sam addressing the living crowd vs jack the ripper addressing the ghost crowd
the makeup on the ghosts is pretty fuckin good, I like the wardrobe and hair too
I like the fake posters at the school for various fictional sporting events
castiel continues to have a conscience and I adore him
rowena "am I interrupting something juicy" eyes emoji
ruth is pretty fun, I like her necklace
I like that ketch literally has a gun that just kicks spirits out of people. like. ...why haven't they been using this technology the whole time. guess it's an endgame weapon.
hahahahha an attractive female demon named Ardat. ................me @ homestuck like oh Ardata got it
this is the first time i've seen adult amara? it's bizarre to see characters I've only heard of
dude's right to be very upset and worried about his neighbors and cas should tell them what's up honestly, I see sam's point about not inciting panic but on the other hand :\
no idea where this arthur/rowena thing is going except I do I guess
I really, really like castiel's take (which is also sam's take from the last episode) that even if their lives were written by chuck, their experiences still mattered, and are not rendered worthless because of external circumstances about how they came into being
are people seriously doing a "THIS IS A DESTIEL MOMENT" from this? like. i guess.
also i hate that cas is having to apologize for "dropping the puck". he didn't. fuck off. he didn't drop the ball. dean didn't give a shit about felix being killed anyway so what the fuck.
misha and jensen both have excellent delivery though
I do like seeing dean play off ketch and belphegor and rowena, it's a nice change of pace
dude these stunts of getting thrown into a wall or a shelving unit like I realize they're stunts but OUCH
ahhhhhh that's kevin i hear osric's voice
kevin got the other ghost to go away by yelling at them lmaooooo I love him so fucking much!!!!!
so we're gonna retcon that kevin has spent the last what, four??? four fucking years? not in heaven, but in hell or purgatory or just wandering earth? remember how a year on earth is forty years in hell?
I'm glad I specifically have the devil's cut to drink to kevin getting fucked over because I'm already enraged
** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 1 **
god he's been on the screen for less than sixty seconds and he was just never sent to heaven because god lied, I'm so glad I have bourbon for this. fucking buckleming, how do they keep getting put in charge of kevin episodes
I got up to get my kevin keychain to watch the rest of this episode with I'm so mad holy fuck I'm so mad, it just never stops
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the amazon subtitles: "the vegetables and herbs are finely chopped and added to a SEXY pastiche of fragrant tripe"
thinking emoji, did you mean zesty....
I took like a 30 minute break because I was so mad just now about kevin being denied access to heaven like fuck you
the break was so long that amazon timed out, goddamn it
oh so we can't get kevin into heaven because god's not around to make an exception and god hates the winchesters and how god feels about the winchesters extends to their surrounding "friends" and family. amazing. this is bullshit.
** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 2 **
"whiny kevin tran! typical millennial." he should whine more. he has every right to be furious
also amazing that bobby and john manage to stay in heaven, and chuck didn't cast them down to hell along with mary out of spite when this all went down? so like... why not kevin. AMAZING!!!!!!
** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 3 **
sam has the dignity to actually look concerned instead of just annoyed
oh I like sam being linked to chuck lmaooooo
I do love this shot of a bunch of ghosts just hanging out in some suburban kitchen.
osric is so handsome I'm so glad to see him on this again
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"you know how the hellspawn are, all they talk about is sam and dean, sam and dean" maybe the only time jack the ripper has been right about anything
not a fan of this extremely heteronormative bullshit courtesy of buckleming
also left-brain/right-brain is basically a lie isn't it
this fucking music. I'm so sick of buckleming
like I would be fine with this if it had been written by literally anyone else but this is the worst shit, nobody flirts like this
the road is "FAIR WYND", that's the cousin of zack fair and cid highwind
she hooked up with jack the ripper briefly? weird flex but okay
oh kevin is now being held GHOST HOSTAGE because dean told him to go do some reconnaissance
** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 4 **
also I paused on a screenshot that's extremely funny to me
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oh I don't like hearing kevin screaming :(
drinking for kevin being tortured by jack the ripper trying to ghost-vore him
** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 5 **
I'm also waiting for the ghostbusters containment thing to backfire and swallow him too
DEAN: you can see them, how many are there "BELPHEGOR": 100 at least, more keep coming
convenient way not to animate 100+ ghosts
oh ketch took off the fucking iron, or maybe it fell off when he was hurt?
good job rowena for real
CASTIEL: I tried to heal him, but it didn't work. I don't know why. SAM: You're probably just tired, Cas. We all are.
for fucking real the biggest sastiel mood is taking naps
also this is troubling
it's like legitimately weird to see them call an ambulance on this show? I guess since they're posing as FBI agents it's more feasilble but
SAM: I'm sorry, Kevin. I wish there was some way to make this right. KEVIN: Me too, but there isn't. And sometimes you just gotta accept that.
actually fuck you lmao holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit omg fuck this
I'm about to drink the rest of the kevin-designated devil's cut
"there's nothing to keep him tied to earth, he'll go crazy!"
hey what about y'know
his mom...........................................
I'm screaming
"I love you guys" osric I know you love them IRL but this is so unfair for kevin the character
I like alexander and osric in the same shot, that's kind of fun, I enjoyed their panel I watched
and there's him waving goodbye. this is so unfair. time to down the rest of this
** "DRINK FOR KEVIN" COUNT: 666 **
to kevin, and to osric
thank fuck I was already in the middle of writing fix-it fic, this is injust
I have such mixed feelings because I'm so happy to see osric back but like AT WHAT COST, the worst timeline
there's a finality to this too like he's not coming back after this unless there's massive all-cast-reunion episode at the tail end in a paradise party AU but I doubt it
goodbye Kevin, this sucks :(
I'm more motivated than ever to finish this fic
"Even on your best day, you couldn't force my hand." is a pretty good line
also negative space is not inferior or "backup vocals"? it's part of a composition
you fucking know what buckleming is that WE CAN FIGURE OUT THAT THERE'S A NARRATIVE PARALLEL ABOUT HER LEAVING HIM TRAPPED WITH HIS CREATION, WITHOUT YOU SPELLING IT OUT jesus christ
bluhhhhhhhhhh I liked the premiere a lot more
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peachwizard · 8 years
Text
The Lesser of Two Evils
Request: “I was wondering if I could put a request in for something with Demon Dean and Soulless Sam? And also thank you for the follow btw I love your blog” @leenasleena-blog
A/N: I hope that this turned out the way you wanted! This is AU ish in that Sam never got his soul back, but everything else progressed the same, maybe with a little more bitterness and coldness from Sam…. ALSO OMG THIS IS LONG.
Characters: Soulless!Sam x Reader, Demon!Dean x Reader, Cas
Warnings: swearing, violence, references to sex/talking about sex so I guess maybe some smut? Not in detail? I’m sorry, angst, possessive Sam and Dean
Tagging: @percussiongirl2017
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You loved Sam. You really did. Even when he came back from the dead. Even when he dragged you along with him, his cousins, and his grandfather who somehow came back to life. Even when he was a lot colder to you. Even when he told you that you couldn’t tell Dean that he was alive. Even when, after Dean found out he was alive, you found out he was soulless. You still loved Sam. You weren’t sure that anything could ever make you stop. Except maybe his brother…
A few weeks ago everything was fine. Hell, a few days ago everything was fine. Now Dean was dead, Sam really couldn’t bring himself to care THAT much, and you were devastated. You and Sam had been together still even though he was soulless. He might not have had a soul, but he did have a heart, and the only thing he held in it was you. You wish that he cared more about his brother, you knew how much Dean loved him, but I guess it meant enough that Sam was sticking around and staying with him. Even though Sam would never admit it, he did have some space in his heart for his brother.
Now Sam had gone out to get you your favorite foods because he could tell how upset you were and you were alone in the bunker. You were just sitting at the table in the library drinking a beer when you heard footsteps. And it was definitely not Sam. 
You quickly got up, grabbed your gun, and started stalking your way through the bunker. You heard the footsteps getting closer, they didn’t seem afraid or hesitant, which made you nervous as hell. You finally saw what it was turning a corner. 
“Dean…” you breathed out and felt yourself relax. Then you realized this wasn’t normal. Dean should be dead. Sam didn’t have a soul to sell and if he did it’s not like he would. You felt your eyes well up with tears and you tightened your grip on your gun.
“How the hell are you alive right now?” 
He gave you a bright smile, but there was something sinister behind it, “Y/N! Just the girl I wanted to see. Where’s Sammy?”
“Out. He will be back any minute now. Now how are you alive?”
He laughed and took a step closer, keeping his gaze locked on the floor, “I wouldn’t exactly call it alive, sweetheart.” He looked up at you and his eyes flashed black.
You stumbled back and loosened your grip on your gun. You knew it wouldn’t do you any good right now, and started to reach for the demon knife in your back pocket. “Who are you? How did you get in here? GET OUT OF HIM!” You screamed.
Dean just laughed again, “There’s no one in here except me, Y/N/N. Turns out the mark was not ready to let me go yet. I’m just like your Dean… just… better. See I’m stronger, smarter, and virtually invincible. That toothpick your trying to grab from your back pocket ain’t gonna do shit to me sweetheart.”
You gulped, “What… what do you want?”
Dean stepped even closer to you, you two were chest to chest. “You.”
When Sam comes in the door he can immediately tell something is wrong. “Y/N/N? …Baby? …Y/N!” He started screaming your name, searching everywhere in the bunker. When he came to Dean’s room he saw Dean’s body was missing along with a note: “Don’t look for me, Sam. And don’t worry she’s safe with me (;”
Sam immediately crushed the note in his hand and threw it with a frustrated yell. He stormed into the library and started figuring out how he was going to find you and get you back. No one takes what’s his.
When you finally woke up you found that you were in a random motel room. You sat up, rubbed your eyes and went to get up when you noticed you were handcuffed to the bed post. That’s when everything came rushing back to you.
Dean. He took you. And he was a demon… Great. You needed to get to a phone and fast. You reached into your hair to grab the bobby pin you always kept hidden in there, just in case, and found it missing. Of course.
Just then you saw Dean come out of the bathroom, he saw you with your hand in your hair, “Oh yeah. I know about your party trick, Y/N. You aren’t getting out of those cuffs unless I want you out. And well, since I’ve become a demon I’ve been feeling a little bit kinky.”
You scoff and roll your eyes, “Why am I here?”
“That is a very good question Y/N. Why are you here?”
“Uhhh… Because you kidnapped me?”
His face suddenly changed from amused to furious, “WRONG. You’re here because your dumbass boyfriend failed to protect you. He doesn’t actually care about you, Y/N/N. Do you really think he is going to waste his time trying to find you? When he could literally walk out on the street and have women and men throwing themselves at his feet? I don’t think so.”
His words stung a lot more than you were going to let on, you almost believed what Dean was saying was true. “Sam is going to find me. He loves me,” you think you were trying to convince yourself more than Dean.
“He doesn’t have a soul! He physically can’t love you! He doesn’t feel anything!” He shouted unbearably loud. You aren’t sure if you flinched away from his volume or his words. This made his face go from his terrifying glare to being concerned. This Dean had major mood swings. He rushed over to you and tried to hug you close while stroking your hair, “I’m so sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to scare you. You’re safe with me.”
You gave him a fake laugh, “Oh yeah? Safe with a demon who knocked me out and kidnapped me?”
“You are safer here more than anywhere else. I swear.”
“I think I’d be safer back at the bunker with my boyfriend.”
“Oh right the boyfriend without a soul.”
“You aren’t any better! You’re a demon!”
“At least I have a soul! It might be dark and twisted, but it’s there. Which means I can feel. I can feel more than him.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Come on, Y/N. You’re smarter than that.”
You sat there for a minute trying to piece everything together until it clicked, “N..no.. No.”
“’Fraid so sweetheart.”
“You can’t… You don’t… You can’t love me, Dean.”
He laughed bitterly, “Oh trust me, I’ve tried telling myself that. I’ve tried it all. Turns out nothing is going to change how I feel. I used to blame myself, you know? I used to tell myself that it was my fault that you wouldn’t even give me a second glance, especially after we found out Sam had no soul. But I’ve only just realized that it isn’t my fault at all. And don’t you worry baby, it’s not your fault either. It’s Sam’s.
“He manipulated you to keep loving him even after he couldn’t even love you anymore. He lied to you, Y/N/N. He is still lying to you. He doesn’t love you. He’s using you. You don’t mean anything to him. How could you? He doesn’t have emotions, which means he can’t feel love. That means that every time he tells you he loves you, he's lying.”
You didn’t even realize that you were crying until Dean walked over and started to wipe at your eyes, “Awww. Baby girl, shhh. It’s alright. I’m right here and I’ve always loved you. Always. Since I first met you I’ve loved you. And most importantly, I still love you.”
Dean looked at you expectantly, he looked like his normal self, not the demon you knew he was, “Dean.. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
He took a deep breath, “Well, back when I was… human… Back when we first met you I could tell right off the bat Sammy was crushing on you, and you were exactly his type. Everything about you just radiates beauty and.. and perfection. Everything about you was amazing and I knew if I tried to get with you I would just fuck you up, baby. 
“I thought if you were with me I would get you killed or hurt or just end up giving you a broken heart. But now? Now, I don’t give a shit. Now I know none of that is gonna happen to you because I’m better than I was before. I know I can keep you safe. Now, you’re mine.”
“Dean-”
“Shhhh. It’s okay Y/N, I know what you’re gonna say. You’re gonna say you still love Sammy and want to be with him, but that’s okay because you’ll change your mind. I know you will.”
He reached to grab your hand that was handcuffed, “Now are you gonna try to run or call Sam if I uncuff you and let you go shower?”
You violently shook your head at him with tears still streaming down your face. You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore. Everything Dean said about Sam was true. You couldn’t believe that Dean had loved you all this time. You also didn’t know how to tell him that you hadn’t even been interested in Sam until Dean showed you that he wasn’t interested and pushed you away from him and towards Sam.
It had been a few weeks now that you’d been with Dean and it could have been worse. You missed Sam like crazy, but you had no indication that he was even coming to find you. You figured that Dean had been right all along and now that you weren’t there and convenient for him, he was just going to move on. After all, how could you even mean anything to someone who couldn’t feel anything?
Dean showered you with love and affection, he was totally and completely perfect to you. You honestly couldn’t even believe you were dealing with a demon. 
You were sure when he was out that he was getting himself into trouble, especially since he told you he was doing business with Crowley, but you shamefully admitted to yourself that you didn’t really care. As long as he wasn’t involving you or telling you, you didn’t feel responsible.
Dean was loving his life. He finally had you. He came home to you every night, waiting for him. He was especially excited about this motel because it only had one room left with one bed in it, meaning he got to share with you.
His life couldn’t get any better, he was sure of it. Well, unless you finally agreed to be his. He knew you were still hung up on Sam. Not as much as before, but you still were. 
He felt a little bad about manipulating you into thinking Sam didn’t love you, he knew that it really shouldn’t have made sense. Sam shouldn’t be able to love you, but he was sure that he really did. You were probably the only one, but Dean had to do what he needed to get you to forget about Sam. He needed you to be his.
Meanwhile, Sam was looking everywhere to find you. He was going to kill Dean once he found the two of you. Right now he was a little inconvenienced, some random asshole decided he was going to try and use Sam to get Dean to come to him. He however, was unaware of went bump in the night and didn’t realize what he had walked into.
He was currently calling Dean on the phone. Dean reacted exactly how Sam knew he would, that he didn’t give a shit and to do him a favor and go ahead and kill him. He also left Sam a message, “She’s mine now, Sammy. She doesn’t want you anymore.”
Those words left Sam seething. It didn’t take long after hearing that to break out and beat the shit out of Collin or whatever the fuck his name was.
He left and kept on tracking you. He had to get to you. That’s all that was on his mind. He wasn’t sure if you were safe or hurt or anything. He was…. worried? Yeah. He was worried. He wanted you back with him. Where he knew that nothing could ever harm you, and if anything tried, he would fucking kill whatever it was in the most painful way imaginable. 
He was also afraid of what Dean was saying to you. He knew it would be easy to manipulate you into thinking that Sam wouldn’t come. He knew because he would have been doing the same thing had he been in Dean’s position. 
Sam also knew that it would be easy to believe that he wasn’t coming. He didn’t have a soul, so why would he care? He could never explain why, but he did. Only when it came to you, he cared. 
He knew he didn’t really try to show it, and that now it could turn out to be the biggest mistake he had ever made.
Dean had decided to take you out to a bar. He said that you had been “such a good girl” and he knew you were tired of being cooped up, but he warned you not to try anything.
You had enough to make you buzzed, so when Dean got a little bit closer and put his arm around your waist you didn’t mind. 
He leaned over and whispered in your ear, “You know, that guy over there keeps staring at you.”
You giggled and buried your face in his neck, “Well it’s too bad that I’m here with someone else. And that no matter what…” Your face turned into a frown and you picked your head up, “I’m going home with him…”
Dean smoothed out the crease in between your eyebrows with his thumb and then gave you a kiss in the same spot. He gave you a small smile, “I’m sorry, baby.”
You returned his sad smile and laid your cheek on his shoulder, “You know, when we first met I wanted more than anything for you to ask me out. You were what I wanted. Not Sam. And then I could tell Sam was interested, but I kept putting him off, praying that you would say something or do something showing that you would return my feelings. And when you told me to go for Sam… I knew you weren’t interested. 
“So I let it go and said yes when Sam asked me on a date even when I wanted it to be you. And now I love Sam. More than anything, I really do. I have loved him for so long. But hearing you say this… That you have always loved me… It… It brings a lot of old feelings back.”
Dean just stared at you in shock, so you took that as your okay to keep talking, “Do you think Sam is looking for me? Honestly? Do you think he still loves me even though he’s soulless?”
Dean’s brain immediately told him what to say. It told him to tell you that “No, Sam isn’t looking for you. I’m sorry, but I don’t. And I don’t know how he could love someone if he can’t experience any other feelings for any other person.” And god, he wanted to say that. He knew what it would do, it would solidify that you were his. But he couldn’t, he knew it would totally break your heart. 
He also couldn’t say what he definitely knew to be true. That Sam was scouring the entire United States of America, every single town and city that you could possibly be in he was checking. He was searching desperately for you. And yes, he definitely did love you. In fact, he was so in love with you it almost rivaled Dean’s love for you. Almost.
So Dean went with an easy out, “I really don’t know, sweetheart. He’s hard to figure out. I wish I could tell you.”
Now Dean could tell you weren’t going to answer, so he went back to address what you said earlier, “You know, when Sam lost his soul I thought for sure, ‘This is my chance. Now I can finally have her be mine. I just have to tell her how I feel.’ But I just couldn’t. I saw how you were so hopelessly in love with him, I couldn’t ruin it. But who I am now, well, that is a different story. Sammy can go fuck himself.”
You pushed away from him and off the stool you were on and rolled your eyes. “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be back.”
Dean watched your figure retreating, what was that saying? Oh how he hated for you to leave, but loved to watch you go. He smirked to himself, that was until he noticed something was off, then his smirk got impossibly wider. 
Dean stood up and looked around, it was the middle of the day so the bar was mostly empty, “Alright everybody out!” Nobody made any movements so he pulled out a gun and held it up, “Let me try this one more time, EVERYBODY OUT NOW.”
Dean grabbed his drink, made his way over to the piano, and started to play. A few minutes later, Sam walked in. 
Sam already had the demon knife out and said in the most menacing voice Dean had heard from him, “Where is she? What did you do to her?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about, Sammy. There have been a lot of ‘she’s.’”
“Don’t fucking play games, Dean. Where. Is. She.”
“Back at the motel, sprawled out naked on our mattress, thoroughly fucked, waiting for me to come back to give her more.”
Sam gave a sinister laugh, “You really better hope that you’re joking.”
“Oooh. I am so glad that I’m not. She is a really good lay, Sammy. I see why you kept her, even though you don’t give two fucks about her.”
“You know that isn’t true. I also know that you’ve been lying to her. Telling her I’m not coming for her.”
“Like you lie to her every time you tell her you love her?”
“I’M NOT LYING.”
“You know how long I’ve been waiting to have her as mine?”
“Everybody fucking knows, Dean. You are so goddamn obvious about it, giving her googly eyes all the time, following her around like a lost puppy. It’s honestly embarrassing for you, Dean. She wants me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Maybe right now. But once she sees I’m here, she’s going to come running to me and never look back.”
“You see, I don’t think so. I think that she likes what she has here with me.”
“What? Being constantly monitored so she doesn’t run off? Being handcuffed to a bed? Having no freedom?” Dean scowled. “That’s right, I know everything. I had a visit from Crowley.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Dean growled.
“No. You aren’t. You’re going to die today. Right here. Right now. But if it makes you feel any better I’m going to kill him after I kill you. Well, after I get back to the bunker and have some fun with Y/N.  You know? Have her screaming my name while I pound her into the mattress? She’s going to be sore for days. She’s never even going to think about you again once I’m done with her.”
“I think it’s going to be a hell of a lot easier for me to kill you, Sammy. And then I’ll go to the motel we’re at, tell her how you came only to tell me that you’re done with her. That she wasn’t there when you needed a quick fuck so you moved on.”
“And then comfort her while she cries?”
“Definitely. And then when she tells me to make her forget about you,” he laughs to himself, “Oh yeah, I’m gonna make her forget. Not even that though. I’m going to make her regret being with you, when she could have had me all along.”
Sam didn’t have the chance to respond when something came flying through the window and then started pouring out smoke.
Sam tried to get himself out, not knowing that you were here. Dean however, started to panic. Especially when he saw you weren’t in the bathroom. He went out the back door, coughing. When he looked up he saw you struggling in the hold of some random douche.
Dean spoke first, “You’d be real smart to let her go right now.”
“Not gonna happen, Dean-o. You remember me? We talked on the phone.”
“Oh yeah, you’re that guy that apparently failed at killing Sammy. He is still very much alive.”
“He ultimately didn’t matter. Because you see, I went after the wrong person. I thought that it would kill you to lose your brother, but I admit I was wrong. It’s this pretty little lady right here that you would just die for. Isn’t it?”
“I’m only gonna say it one more time. Let. Her. Go.”
He pulled out a knife and held it against your neck. You chose this as your opportunity to speak up, “Are you fucking kidding me right now? I am not a goddamn damsel in distress.”
You stomped your heel on the top of his foot, elbowed him in the face, and easily escaped his hold. You were about to attack again when Dean grabbed you and threw you to the side. You almost yelled at him, but then you noticed that random douche was about to get you with his knife.
You silently thanked him, and then realized Dean was occupied. You were free. You took only a few steps and then ran into a solid huge body, but it was one you recognized. “Sam,” you breathed out. 
Sam immediately grabbed the back of your neck and smashed his lips to yours. “Oh god baby…” he whispered in between kisses, “I was so worried… So so so worried… I looked everywhere for you… I love you so much baby… I love you so much.”
You were eagerly returning Sam’s kisses, until you realized you should probably get out of there. “Sam…” he ignored you and kept kissing you, “Sammy baby.”
“Yes princess,” he spoke against your lips.
“Dean. He’s a demon. We gotta cure him.”
Sam just laughed, “Y/N/N, I don’t really give a shit about Dean. I’m just glad you’re okay. Let’s get out of here.”
“Sammy please.”
“Fine. Fine. You’re right this needs to be fixed. Go wait in the car, I’m gonna end this.”
You pulled away from Sam, “What?! You can’t just kill him! Sam we have to bring him back to the bunker and cure him. It’s what the real Dean would want. Please. For me Sammy?” You stuck out your bottom lip at him and gave him puppy dog eyes. You knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.
He groaned, “Ugh. Fine. But really, go wait in the car. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Why does everyone always think I’m gonna -”
Sam interrupted you, “Y/N.” He gave you a stern look.
You huffed and slumped your shoulders, “Fine,” you turned around and started walking towards the impala, “Stupid boys. Think I can’t protect myself.”
Sam smiled at you as you walked away and went to go kidnap his brother. Great. This was not going according to his plan.
When you got back to the bunker and Sam started the curing process he wouldn’t let you anywhere near Dean, and you didn’t try to go near him.
You had been confused about your feelings, you still were a little, but you knew that Sam was it for you. Dean had nudged his way in, and you were trying hard to push him out. You would never leave Sam for Dean, but you couldn’t deny that you had rekindled some old feelings for Dean.
You were laying on yours and Sam’s bed watching Netflix. Sam didn’t let you leave the bed much. When he wasn’t curing Dean or trying to reach Cas, he was busy pounding you into the mattress. He said he had to make sure you knew you were his. You knew that it was mostly for himself and Dean though. To remind himself that you were his and to especially remind Dean. And he made sure that your screams of his name would reach Dean in the dungeon.
 Halfway into an episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Sam came barging in. He grabbed your arm and started dragging you along with him.
“Ummm… Hello to you to. What are you doing?”
Sam didn’t even look back, “Dean broke out. I don’t know how, but I know he’s going to try to kill me and for all I know he could try to kill you too now.”
You came to a closet in a hallway no one really went down very much, “I need you to stay in here and hide, Y/N/N. Please. No matter what, do not leave.”
“Sam I can protect -”
“I know you can baby, but please. It would make me feel better knowing you are safe,” you hadn’t seen this much emotion in his eyes in awhile, “Please just stay here. For me?”
You reluctantly nodded. When he went to walk away you grabbed his arm, “Please don’t kill him. Finish curing him. If you want me to stay here you have to promise you will.”
Sam nodded and then kissed you hard, “I’m gonna go now. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Sammy! Where are you?” Dean shouted into the seemingly empty bunker. “More importantly, where is Y/N? Come on out sweetheart, I don’t want to hurt you. Let’s have some fun. How do you say we lock Sammy in the dungeon and make him listen to you scream for me?”
Sam knew Dean was baiting him and it was almost working. Sam avoided Dean for as long as he could until he sensed Dean behind him and almost was smashed in the head with a hammer.
“Come on, Sam. Let’s, hurry and get this over with. I’m gonna kill you and then your girlfriend and I have a romantic date.”
“You wish. You think she’d want to be with you if you kill me?”
“I’m positive she would still want to be with me.”
“She doesn’t even want you now, Dean.”
Dean punched Sam after hearing that, not being able to hold back his anger any longer. “Y/N! You want to save your boyfriend? You’re gonna come out here right now and you’re gonna leave with me.”
“She won’t.”
“She will.”
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I underestimated the amount that she loves me. The lengths she would go to keep ME safe.”
Dean punched him again and Sam fell to the ground. Dean grabbed Sam by the hair and yanked his head up to whisper into his hear, “See that’s the killer. She is going to come out and then she’s gonna watch you die. Then I’m going to leave with her.”
“She isn’t going to come.”
“Then I guess I’ll kill you without an audience.” Dean went to make the fatal blow.
“NO!” you screamed.
Dean turned around and looked at you, “Hey princess, you came just in time. I was just about to kill Sammy over here.”
You had tears streaming down your face, “Dean you said you’d let him go. Please I’ll go with you and never try to run if you let him go. Please.”
Dean let go of Sam’s hair only to knee him in the face. Then he walked over to you. He shrugged, “Deal. But I want you to kiss me first. Right in front of him.”
“Y/N, don’t,” Sam growled.
Dean turned around and kicked him in the face. “Stop!” You screamed.
You grabbed Dean’s face and pulled him closer to you, your lips lightly touched when Dean pulled you even closer. You couldn’t even deny that the kiss was amazing, filled with something Sam couldn’t give you, emotion. You felt Dean’s jealousy, rage, frustration, but mostly love. You actually felt his love. And god did it feel good.
Suddenly Dean’s lips were ripped from yours and you immediately found yourself missing them. You opened your eyes, when did you close them?, to see Cas holding Dean from behind. 
“It’s over Dean.” You heard Cas say. Then you looked at all three men each had a different expression on his face and the last thing you remembered was both Sam trying to stand to get to you and Dean trying and failing to struggle away from Cas to reach you.
You woke up in your bed. Sam was by your side, holding your hand.
“I’m glad you’re awake. I was worried.”
You shook your head, “No… you can’t be worried. You can’t feel, Sam. Stop lying.”
“I was worried, I still am. You know I love you and care about you Y/N.”
“Do you really though?”
“Yes! I do! I love you more than anything! I would literally do anything for you. What do you want me to do to prove it? Because I really fucking wanted to kill Dean and I didn’t. Because you asked me not to. I wasn’t going to kill him even if it cost me my life because I didn’t want to upset you. Now look me in the eyes, Y/N, and tell me I don’t love you.”
You looked down, ashamed, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I know you love me. I love you too.”
Sam climbed into bed with you and you snuggled up next to him. He traced patterns on your skin while he spoke, “I’m sorry I can’t be who I used to. I’m sorry it’s nearly impossible for me to feel…” 
You could tell Sam didn’t want to have this conversation so you kissed his jaw and changed the subject, “How’s Dean?”
“He’s alive and no longer a demon. He also profusely apologized to me and told me he will never speak to you again if I asked him not to.”
“And?”
“And I told him not to.”
You lightly slapped his chest, “Sammm.”
He laughed, “Okay, fine. I didn’t say that. I did tell him if he ever came onto you again or tried to kiss you I’d kick his ass. I also told him the only reason he was alive right now was because of you.”
You smiled up at him and sarcastically replied, “Oh well aren’t you the sweetest most loving brother in the world.”
“Of course, baby.”
Later that day, when Sam let you leave the room, you went into the library to find Dean sitting at the table with a beer.
He sat there imagining how his life could have been different. He hated himself for not asking you out when you first met. He hated himself for not telling you how he felt until he was a demon. He hated himself for getting caught by Sam. He hated himself for not killing Sam. He hated himself for wanting to kill Sam. But really, he hated himself because he could never truly make you his.
You could hear Cas and Sam having a conversation in the kitchen. You knew they wanted to give you and Dean some privacy.
You could tell he was really deep into his own head, so you went and sat down next to him, grabbed his beer, and took a sip.
“Hey,” you smiled at him.
He looked up at you, a little startled, “Hey,” he gave you a half smile.
“About what happened…”
“Listen, I’m sorry…”
You both started at the same time and then let out a small laugh.
“You first,” you told him.
He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for everything I did… As a demon.”
You grabbed his arm, “It’s alright. I get it. I’m not upset.”
He was hyper aware of your hand on his bicep, “…So… now you know how I feel.” He gave a nervous laugh.
“Yeah… It’s okay… It doesn’t make me feel weird if it doesn’t make you feel weird.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course. It doesn’t make me feel weird. I’m glad you’re with Sam. As long as your happy.” He gave a forced smile and was grateful that you couldn’t tell.
You gave him a bright, genuine smile back. He loved that freaking smile. “Great! You’re the best, Dean. Maybe now that it’s out in the open you can move on, find the one?” 
“Yeah,” he gave a one sided smile, “Maybe,” You squeezed his arm and got up to go to the kitchen.
He knew that he wouldn’t move on. Nothing and no one was ever going to change his mind about you, especially now that he had kissed you. That kept playing on his mind in a vicious repeat cycle, and he prayed it would never stop. That he would never forget what it felt like. What you tasted like. 
There was no one else for him. There was no ‘the one’ waiting for him in a random town. He had already found the one. And she was unbelievably perfect in every way. And she was hopelessly in love with his brother.
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