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#idk folks i have little explanation for this/myself here
vagueconfusion · 15 days
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Made an honestly terrible looking meme, you all can either enjoy it or hate it (or make a better one honestly) either way here it is
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nothorses · 3 months
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
- [ ]
I think trying to find one perfect answer that applies universally is the critical mistake here. I mean, I am a gay man. I say this because as of yet, that's the clearest answer I have for myself personally; maybe there's a possibility I experience attraction to a woman at some point (maybe I already have???), but I don't really have clarity on that right now, and it doesn't serve me to shape or explain my identity around "maybe"s.
Trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that attracts me to other men, specifically, is also like... not that useful. I used to find myself really attracted to feminine men specifically; not feminine women, not masculine women, not masculine men, not androgynous anyone, but feminine men. Specifically, men who were feminine in a very particular, long-hair-certain-attitude kind of way.
Recently, I have found myself appreciating, more and more, a certain kind of masculine body type and gay masculinity that I was never really interested in before. I find it incredibly hot. A lot of that coincides with things I appreciate about my partner, too, and things I find myself appreciating more about my partner as time goes on- as well as things my partner expresses appreciation for about me!
And I haven't even touched on attraction to nonbinary folks here because, like, it's a massive spectrum. "Nonbinary" means something different for every individual nonbinary person. To my mind, of course there's a possibility I experience attraction to a nonbinary person; how they identity, present, and what attracts me to them are all even more impossible to know for certain than the "maybe"s and the "why"s around my attraction (or lack thereof) to men and women.
My relationship to my own orientation was vastly different pre-testosterone versus post-testosterone, too. I was much more reserved and uncomfortable with relationships and attraction before I started T, and the only dynamic I ever felt was even a little bit tolerable was one where I was the "masculine woman" in a lesbian relationship. I didn't realize until very shortly after starting T that, actually, I like men. A lot. I felt comfortable with my body and my masculinity in a way I never had been before, and I felt comfortable in relationships with men; I no longer felt like I was The Woman By Default in contrast.
And that's all just me! This is my personal, specific, individual relationship to attraction, and how gender- both others' and my own- factors into my relationship with orientation.
I don't think it's necessarily inborn, or completely unchanging for everyone. I also don't think the same factors apply for everyone. I think a lot of different things can be true for different people, all at once, and it's not really useful to try to pinpoint a specific, universal explanation for orientation.
Everyone has a different relationship to orientation and gender; everyone will be influenced differently by cultural factors, by their own ways of processing and understanding the world around them, by the ways different aspects of their culture, identity, personality, and inborn traits and how they all interact with one another, and sure, maybe even by biological factors and tendencies.
Trying to solve this puzzle for the entire world of diverse human beings isn't going to make it any easier to understand yourself. Focus on what this all means for you, personally, and accept that you will never, can never, fully and perfectly understand anyone else's internal world and workings. Things get a lot easier when you can let go of that & just appreciate the diversity of human experiences, y'know?
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dykeminecraft · 1 year
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Found it
so uh. Starts off. myself, a kid named derrin, and some other folks are doing Something, we're down near the docks (which doubles as a train station (this doesn't take place anywhere I've ever been)) and we're just fucking around. Derrin starts panicking about some sort of Thing and starts saying something about a "shatter" that's gonna happen, we start running, we get to where this "shatter" is going to happen just as it does.
Derrin *vanishes*, so does everyone else, I'm left (almost) alone except! There's Some Fucking Thing with me.
we decide "ehhh we're here together may as well stick together" and start meandering around.
nothing is really. Right? Buildings have gone all weird, there's corridors in the middle of the street but that's a very good thing bc there's monsters wandering around that look very suspiciously like my companion but. it's fine.
we keep wandering around until we hear Someone Else Talking, and then realize whoever this is also has a Friend ("friend") but instead of this "friend" defending them, it's threatening them into helping it capture anyone who comes by. And they've Noticed Us
so my guy fucks off somewhere, I go hide under a table, the kid (bc the human in this "weird void goop thing & human" equation is a kid) fucking. Comes over and starts pointing at me even though I had a Very Good hiding spot
anyway so the void fucker (idk if that's what they actually are but. yknow) comes over and drags me out by the arm, I'm fucking Thrashing, and it "detects" something and drops me. probably figured out that I Already had a void fucker & that threatening/killing me would have been a Bad Idea.
so now we get worldbuilding! The basics are:
-The initial zone near the Shatter (<- that's the name) is the safest place to be. Not completely safe, but safest. It's colored yellow.
-The white zone just below that (on the map. It would've been across the street) However, it's the safest to most people - most people can't get to the yellow zone. There's a barrier. We suspect the reason that my void fucker & I can get through is bc I was right up against the Shatter when it happened
-The gray zone: Second most dangerous (you really did not want to leave the white/yellow zones - there's no safety outside of them), and the largest zone on the map. From what I understand this is mostly what it looks like on the map. It's a gray zone, everything is gray and bad.
-Red zone: this is the most dangerous place and it's on the very edges of the map. I wasn't given an explanation as to what it was like, but I can guess.
My void fucker came back at some point during the explanation. Derrin's fate remains unknown, nobody here can help, so we head back to the white zone
& it's surprisingly fairly normal? If you get into a good section. I helped a lady get her dog back in her yard.
The sky was dark, like nighttime, but for the most part the lighting was like during the day
Iirc the void fucker & I were just chillin out & taking a break for a little while before we started looking for Derrin
The void fucker could carry me, but most of the time if I was moving around it was sort of...I was "wearing" it, iirc mostly as a long (we're talking up to my shoulder) glove
this is a basic idea of how the map looks, pardon the patchy marker I didn't want to use up all my ink
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there were little cracks of the gray zone all across the map, & on the map they didn't look too big but they were generally around the width of a street (for example, that gray line in between the yellow & white zones was the width of The Average City Street)
i believe my main goal was to find derrin but i had a Sneaking Suspicion he was somewhere in the red zone
the main threat was just the void fuckers, but the further out you went from the shatter, the nastier they got (both in terms of personality & in terms of "How Much Can They Kill You?")
miscellaneous Things:
-I don't know why the void fucker that was with me was actually helping me out. by all accounts it should have been trying to kill me. i didn't do anything to prompt this change either, it was just like "so...hi?" & i, not yet knowing that this void fucker was supposed to kill me, responded with "hi?"
-the void fuckers i ran into did not know where derrin was. they were also very confused as to why my void fucker was not trying to kill me, so i'm suspecting Whatever caused the weird behavior was not universal. bc they were trying to kill me, too. or at the very least tried to, they generally stopped once they figured out that i Already Had One
-we had been running toward the shatter bc Derrin was trying to stop it, but he failed. I was right up there with him, so it's not the proximity that made him vanish. it was also not a new thing to me - I knew about the node that caused it, he had told me about it, it's just that neither of us were expecting it to do. That
-the lady's dog did bite me i just remembered, but nothing happened to me. 99% odds that was the void fucker's doing
-aside from the void fucker that was With Me, pretty much all of them were being "nice" (see: not trying to kill me) to me begrudgingly. some of them even said they were betting on me dying. i did not care.
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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Chaos Magnet
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: None :)
Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.
Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤
“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.
“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.
“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”
I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.
“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.
“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.
“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“
“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.
“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“
Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”
That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.
“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.
“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“
There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”
For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.
“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“
Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”
“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“
She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.
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teenage walmart games??? I’ve been inside walmart maybe 3 times in my life I need an explanation
formal disclaimer: i am not suggesting you do any of these things in a walmart or similar store* even if i admit to having done some of them myself; the employees don't get paid enough to deal with them
-i mentioned in my tags a fictional game of capture the flag. while i think it would be difficult to full-on incorporate nerf guns into this for more than a few minutes irl, i know people play other versions of it in stores sometimes (i have participated on one ocassion & ngl its kind of fun)
-ive personally played hide n seek in walmart more than once (which is a little different than regular hide n seek in my experience, usually the hiding involves moving around a lot)
-walmart has such a wide variety of shit (for those of you who are less familiar, there's a grocery section & a retail section (including electronics, toys, outdoor equipment, home goods, office supplies, furniture). so we also used to play games where we would have a criteria (ex. The Squishiest Thing U Can Find) & everyone would run around in the alotted time to find The Item which best fit it
-there are lots of potential variations off of this. that "three items to freak out the cashier" game everyone always talks about on here & also a quick google search brought up an all-out walmart scavenger hunt & a walmart bingo
-many walmarts used to have a giant "cage" (it was flexible rope) full of those huge plastic bouncy balls. my walmart does not have one anymore. i imagine it's because i (& others) used to yeet the balls out of the cage every time i was there so i could play with them. i havent personally done much more than bounce them while shopping but i have to imagine that people more creative than me have made several games revolving around these balls and their prison
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[Image Description: A Walmart bouncy ball cage filled with dozens of giant colorful balls some of which also have pokadot or zigzag patterning. It is taller than the aisles. The balls are mostly contained by roping, but the frame of the cage is made of metal. END ID.]
-idk if this counts as a "game" but when i was a child you could get ear piercings at walmart & it was for sure A Risk
-ive known people who make a game of shoplifting, seeing who can steal what & who can take the most risks without getting into trouble (in my experience folks either know EXACTLY how companies like walmart deal with shoplifters or they don't know jackshit, there is no in-between, my advice is that knowledge is power)
-there are legitimate ways to have fun in some walmarts, ive been to several that have a few (3-5) money-sucking arcade games.
-they also sometimes have fast food places in them, so any kind of havoc you can think of perpetuating at mcdonalds or subway, you can technically do it in a walmart (just a reminder not to terrorize the employees at these places in real life. please. i used to work at a mall subway like i will fight you)
-this is just off the top of my head at 3 am, im sure a group of bored 16 y/os could come up with something really fun
-obviously you can do these things in similar stores but i feel the need to explain the energy of walmarts to those who havent been in them so much. they really do feel like the worst liminal space you can possibly imagine. all the typical social rules and decorum are gone. the rumors about people wearing what they want and doing what they want in walmart are generally very true (yes you see guns on people's backs there in open carry states). the lights are too bright for me in all big stores like that but they reflect off the floors in a way i find particularly blinding. it's also usually crowded unless you're there during work/school hours. recently my walmart went to all self-check, no bags & that made the environment more hostile which i didnt know was possible. if this were a more serious post id explain in detail about why i think walmart gets a bad rep for some classist reasons and why it DESERVES a bad rep for some capitalist ones but since this is funnyman hours im just going to leave it there
-im going to leave off with a question to my walmart-familiar followers: what is the most chaotic thing you've ever witnessed in a walmart?
*except the shoplifting. i always encourage shoplifting
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clatterbane · 2 years
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That extra info from the new Libre 2-plus-Diabox CGM setup is already coming in very handy indeed!
(Besides "just" enjoying being able to glance at a screen whenever I like, without a very minor blood sacrifice being required to satisfy my curiosity about glucose levels.)
From my first full day using it, starting from roughly when I got up as reflected by those teeny spikes at the beginning:
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Hmm, that is really not looking right! That huge mountain started rising up before I even got anything in besides the usual cup of coffee--which really does not seem to affect my blood sugar otherwise. 🤔 And the pre-breakfast insulin should have at least been on the verge of kicking in when it started climbing? The extra correction dose barely seemed to touch it after it skyrocketed up to a concerning point?
Seriously, WTF body?! 😒
Okay, wait! I know I've heard about something like this before, from other diabetics.
But, I was up for at least an hour before my blood sugar started shooting up for no apparent reason? Idk, maybe that doesn't quite fit.
Still, it's worth cautiously trying a little insulin first thing tomorrow, just in case. If it drops too much, I have a good excuse to drink some of that fresh cider. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Erm, NOPE! Second verse...
INTERESTING to see that exactly the same thing happened again, if more than a little nerve wracking! Either one preemptive unit of insulin wasn't NEARLY enough, or that's not the right explanation or solution.
(Just barely avoided it dipping low after shooting an extra meal's worth of Novorapid then taking a short roll around the neighborhood, to try and bring that shit back down. Thanks again to keeping a close eye on the Diabox display, and grabbing a fast snack to keep ahead of it! 😃)
Anyway, at least the tentative little preemptive insulin dose didn't seem to make matters worse, or even bring my blood sugar down AT ALL like it normally would.
May well be worth trying to hit it much harder in advance next time, and see what happens? Again, worst case, I'll be guzzling something sugary or chomping down on candy for breakfast.
And there are still a few things to try if that still doesn't help.
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And, success! After taking a usual breakfast-sized dose of Novorapid as soon as I got up.
By the time I was ready to try some breakfast, the levels had not budged in any direction--which I took as an encouraging sign. So, I said fuck it and dosed more insulin as usual before getting in something lower in carbs, trying to play it safe.
(Normally I would say to change only one variable at a time, but jfc. I really DID NOT want a repeat of yesterday's stress!)
Result: Just about the sort of "normal" meal response I would expect? Definitely nothing alarming today. 🎉🥳🎊
And I felt way less like hot exhausted garbage, trying to get some shit done around here before Night Owl Lunch. (Suppertime just recently, for the folks on more socially acceptable schedules.)
Even without the added stress of watching the runaway roller coaster in near realtime, that shit COULD NOT possibly be good for your system. And this is with keeping watch and correction dosing to try and bring it back down. Who knows how high it might have been regularly spiking without that? 😰
I had no reason to think that anything weird might even be going on there, and had slacked on the after meal testing tbqh. Didn't really want to poke myself more than like 4-5 times a day on the regular, unless there was something more obviously unusual happening. So, I fell into a bit of a routine, and had generally called checking before I ate good enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And I really doubt that's unusual.
TL;DR: It's looking remarkably like I've been dealing with some sneaky version of the fairly common "Foot-on-the-Floor" phenomenon with my blood sugar, for Glod only knows how long. And I might not have known about it for a long time if ever, had I not FINALLY gotten set up with CGM technology to help me keep a better eye on what my busted diabetic metabolism is doing.
I had been finger-stick testing for breakfast not long after I got up, and this particular wacky endocrine stunt has apparently been working on just enough of a time delay for me to miss it. Then, by a couple-few hours later when I'm thinking about eating and test again? It's been back to high-"normal" at worst, the vast majority of the time.
This is yet another illustration of why at least all T1 diabetics--or anyone relying on insulin to stay alive and even vaguely healthy--should have ready, affordable access to continuous glucose monitoring technology! Plus any other tools that might make keeping on top of the situation easier, safer, and actually doable.
(Not to mention other folks who might benefit from that, and other currently available medical aids/assistance.)
Currently stuck in my head, however inappropriately! 😅
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poptod · 3 years
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Pull the Stars Out of the Sky (And Gift Them to Me), pt. 7, (Ahkmenrah x Reader)
Description: Protection.
Notes: idk when i started writing smut so willy nilly but here it is, another fuckening. Pretty big warning though: dubious consent. It’s clearly consensual later on but at first there is no given consent. WC: 6.8k
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He had yet to leave your side, taking you with him in every which direction as he, in his own words, marketed himself. It was a process that consisted of being charming and making witty jokes; simple things that had people trusting him. You stood mostly silent beside him, wringing your hands, stuck in distant thoughts. If anyone referred to you, you didn't notice.
They did, though––but if anyone asked about you, Ahk would make up a quick explanation, one he knew you wouldn't mind.
Your silence was originally your constant state, traipsing about the palace with a chain keeping you at Ahk's side. Over the short course of time between Amun first awakening and coming to stay with the Persian nomads, he had already grown used to your laughing, the snide comments always on your razor-sharp tongue, and that lively spark that filled your eyes whenever your heart thumped in your chest.
"You're quiet," he murmured as the two of you walked. You gripped reins in your hand, keeping your camel with all your bags beside you.
"I don't... like travelling with people," you said through gritted teeth, side-eyeing a group of whispering friends to your left.
"It's safer, isn't it?"
"For you," you mumbled bitterly.
"Oh, you're above joining in a caravan?" He said with a teasing lilt.
"I am simply experienced in this," you said, sure to speak under your breath, "and I know how to take care of myself."
Due to the size and needs of a caravan such as Mahud's, you would need to stop thrice a day, each time setting up a little bit of a home at the riverside. Inbetween those breaks, your legs ached with a familiar burn. Long walks had been your staple for a long while. Though your long break from the lifestyle had left you a little out of shape, your previous experience allowed you to navigate your way back in without too much trouble.
Ahk was taking the physical exertion overall well, despite his aching hunger. The stops would allow him to eat, a fact he was very happy to learn, going by the massive grin on his face when you pointed it out. At a few points he was partial to complaining, but always ceased if you glared at him.
The next stop for the slow-moving caravan was by an outcropping stream flowing from the Nile and out into the desert, allowing a small oasis to grow further from the river itself. Although there appeared to be no fruits growing on the tall trees, a few men and women took up nets and spears, wading out into the water to look for fish.
Numbness filled up your legs as you collapsed on the ground, leant against your camel who had also drawn to its' knees. Heat had already pooled in your face and in your feet, burning from the long day, and ready for anything to drink.
"Here," Ahk said as he rounded a bush, kneeling beside you in your shady, isolated spot.
He handed a cup to you, filled with hot tea. Not the most satisfying drink, but it was safest, and you dutifully sipped away. As you watched the other travellers Ahk shifted his position, scooting nearer to you and pressing himself to your side. Instantly his heat began to overcrowd your senses.
"Ahk, it's too hot for me to be touching anyone," you said, shifting away with your back to him.
You probably should've expected him to pull you into him and keep you there, which made you feel all the more foolish when he did it anyway and you didn't expect it at all.
"Ahk..." you whined, half suffocated by his arms wrapping tight round your chest, his face buried in the back of your neck.
"Mmm," he hummed as he took all of you in, nuzzling you with his nose. "I am... tired."
"I'd be astounded if you weren't, but you can't sleep. It's still day and we won't stay here long," you said matter-of-factly, pushing his face away from you.
"I'll just keep you here," he decided, his voice muffled through the fabric of your shirt. "Sleep forever."
"Right," you said, rolling your eyes.
You wormed out the moment he loosened his grip, much to his disappointment.
By nightfall the distant murmurs of a city sounded from ahead, blurred with singing crickets and the steady flow of the Nile beside you. Ahk had spent the rest of the day trying to cheer you up, mostly with bad jokes, but the sentiment was nonetheless there. Still, being surrounded by people for the past fourty-six hours had already taken its' toll. You hardly spoke, your chest felt caved in on itself, and your eyes were trained on the ground below you.
The city ahead, while heralding certainly crowded streets and filled taverns, would suffice as a hospice away from people who had come to learn your name. Whispering in your ear, Ahk informed you this was the city Piye had wanted the two of you to stay at for a little while. If things got worse, you'd move further south, and if they got better, you would return north down the nile.
While at first you tried to sneak away without Mahud noticing, Ahk insisted on giving the man a proper good-bye, and backed this up with the fact that you had been lent a camel. You wouldn't be able to take it with, but it was still a nice consideration for the trip to Aswan.
"We'll be stopping here," Ahk said once Mahud's attention was on the two of you. "We're to meet a friend soon."
"Ah, then I wish you safe travels," said Mahud, patting Ahk on the shoulder with a firm hand.
"Thank you. To you and your family as well. Will you be staying here tonight?" Ahk asked as he gestured to the outer markets of the city, filled with traders who came from far away to make their living, and couldn't afford a roof over their heads.
"I believe so. Tomorrow we make our money and head off again."
"Good luck to you then," Ahk said, silently urging you to say your own farewell.
"Good-bye," you said quietly, bowing your head respectfully.
As you entered the outer rim of the city, the first thing you noticed was the quiet. It wasn't all that late––the sun had set only a little while ago, and it always did that much earlier in the day during the colder months. So you kept your footsteps quiet, instructing Ahk to do the same when he didn't pick up on the eerie silence.
With no one around to direct you every which way, you had to rely off what memory you had of Aswan, as little as it was. You had visited several times, but never for very long. Most of the city was still unexplored to you.
The long light of burning torches cast itself upon the street in front of you, approaching from around the house to your right. Instantly you were darting for cover, hiding the whole of your body behind a large barrel, while you watched Ahk look around the corner.
"Ahk, you fucking idiot, get over here," you hissed, the pounding in your heart begging him to listen to you.
He looked over his shoulder, finding you mostly-hidden, and quickly made to do the same. His spot was on the opposite side of the street, guarded by a practical wall of broken-down stalls. Once Ahk was fully secured you slipped back behind the barrel, calming your quickened breath as footsteps passed you by, numbering somewhere in the tens.
Only when you were fully assured that whoever passed you was not coming back, you joined Ahk in the middle of the road and continued onwards.
"Did you get a look at them?" You asked immediately.
"Yes, but... I'm not sure if I actually saw what I saw," he said, his brow furrowed intensely.
"What does that mean?"
"They had these.. heads on them, feathered and beaked, with massive eyes. Fucking jacked, too," he muttered, pausing to check both ways before crossing the next street.
"Like your Gods?" You asked.
"Like Horus," he said with a nod. "What on Earth are they here for?"
"Just guessing right now, but they might have something to do with you."
He took your hand, and after a long while of searching the streets, you found yourself at the step of a tavern whose lights had long gone out. Again, strange; neither of you remarked upon it, but you did turn to each other with dubious eyes. The smell of mead still came from it, not yet soured or rotten.
Ahk took a cautious step forward, reaching for the door and easily pushing it open. Inside there was the expected darkness, surrounding the knocked-down chairs, broken tables, and spilt beer. Both of you stopped, your shadows stretching before you on the wooden floor as you scanned the whole of the abandoned room. The bar, where you were sure there was once an attendant, was left unmanned and covered in shattered cups, sticky with sweetened alcohol.
The door behind you swung shut, making you whip around. Fortunately it was only Ahk letting go of the door, leaving it to join you nearer to the center of the room, where you could try and peer over the counter.
"Um..." you said.
"Good evening," said a voice, accompanied soon by a man popping out from behind the bar. "How may I help you?"
"Uhhh.. what... what, uh, happened here?" Ahk asked, his expression contorted as he glanced around the room.
"Nasty Egyptian soldiers. They've wrecked up the place, and every time I fix it they come back in and ruin it, so I stopped fixing it. The party's upstairs, if that's what you're after," he said with a too-bright grin on his face.
"Really? And they don't notice that you're up there?"
"Well, they are bird brains," the man said as he leant in, though spoke in a much quieter voice.
"Wait, are they the soldiers with the bird heads on them?" Ahk asked as a revelation came to him.
"Yes, sir. Where've you been?"
"Travelling for the last couple days. How long have they been here?"
"About a week or so now," said the man, looking away as he recalled. "Heard they're crawling all over the other cities, too. So you folks want a room?"
"... sure," you said in a quiet, low voice when Ahk failed to answer.
He handed you a wooden coin with a symbol engraved with fire, informing you that the door with the same symbol was yours. There were no locks and he made sure to tell you that, as well. After offering to carry your bags and earning a 'no,' from you, he pointed you up the stairs, and returned to his spot hidden beneath the bar.
"Odd man," Ahk whispered to you as you climbed the steps.
"Ahk!" You scolded, hitting his shoulder. "We're still in earshot."
How the Horus soldiers hadn't managed to find this place was beyond either of you, as the moment you entered the upper floor you were bombarded with the tunes of dancing music, twirling and playing with the veins of each listener. The thick scent of searing meat filled the whole of the room, rivalled only by the scent of sloshed beer. Most of the food and drink came from a single corner, where a large cask of beer had been set up alongside a furnace, where the one manning the food also managed the distribution of drink.
All around you, people sat and stood, dancing in the middle or resting on the sidelines. Every crate and usable chair was taken up, most people taking seats on the floor instead in great groups of public conversation. You instinctively grew closer to Ahk, trying to keep as far away from others as you could, even as he began to wade through the crowd.
"Hey, don't you think it's a little loud in here? Won't the soldiers find us?" Ahk asked a random stranger, who had happened to stand as the two of you passed her by.
"Egyptian soldiers are hardly valued for their intelligence, young man," she said with a knowing chuckle, before continuing on to the bar.
"Told you," you murmured in his ear as you watched her disappear in the crowd.
"Oh, shut up."
After setting away your bags and manually jamming the door, you rejoined the party on the second floor, partaking in what food and drink you could afford. Piye had given you a good deal of money, but you had no way of knowing how many days or months you would have to stretch that amount across. It was better to keep a good eye on your finances, something Ahk didn't know much about, and left in your capable hands. Though, that hardly stopped him from complaining.
"We got more food when we were staying with Mahud," he whined, his cheek squished against your shoulder.
"That's because it didn't cost any money," you said.
"You are a cruel lover."
"I am, but this has nothing to do with that since we are not lovers."
"We're not?"
"No," you stated, leaning your head back against the wall with closed eyes. "We are, at best, accomplices."
There was no ignoring the sudden change in his energy. He grew quiet, as he so rarely did, and hardly moved to breathe.
As he sulked, you took care to remind yourself of what he was capable of––the strange things he'd said to you, even if they weren't entirely harmful, that had set you in a month-long mood of unease.
"You will stay here. Any attempt on your behalf to leave and I will have to punish you. Understand?"
"Then I am a prisoner," you said, your voice hoarse and broken.
"You are what you make yourself," he said in a much more stern tone, looking down at you with knowing, wary eyes. "If it is a prisoner, then so be it. But you will be, throughout all actions and situations, mine."
"I..."
"You belong to me."
He had not relented in his usage of that claim. In times of peace, in political unrest, he had kept you with him. In times of great bounty, of danger and uncertainty, you had not left him once, and you wondered how sick you would've gotten if you were to go back in time and tell your freshly-met self that you would spend the longer half of a year with him.
You supposed that, in the end, you had joined his collection. The only catch was that it cost him everything else in his ownership, including his kingdom. And yet he seemed perfectly content to lean on your side, even if harsh words came before the silence, and to wait till you returned his affections.
As he touched your shoulder, his muscles went lax, letting him fall limp against you. The moment he intook your scent he was gone, hypnotized by his own adoration for you.
Though your mind fell into a quiet stupor, dancers still circled the room in beat with music. For a moment you wondered how they'd react if they found out the Pharaoh was in their midst.
Aswan was a very Egyptian-type city considering it was still within the borders of Nubia. That meant less worker camps, less fear of Egyptian soldiers, and less knowledge on the impact the Pharaoh stressed upon higher up Nubian cities. Keeping that in mind, you assumed they would try to cozy up to him––spend some of his riches, flirt a little––however it was also possible they worshipped Amun and had already heard of Ahk's treason.
Music began to fade from your mind as the faint sound of footsteps sounded from below you, seeping through the cracks in the mud and wood. They appeared more succinctly the closer you listened, and soon you could identify the number, all marching in unison.
"Ahk," you shook him awake, eyes trained intensely on the floor, "we need to get out of here."
"What?" His sleepy face gave way for concern. "What? What's happening?"
"There's soldiers coming," you said, your grip on his arm tightening.
"Well – the man at the front said they come by every now and then. They haven't found the upstairs yet, they probably won't now," he said.
Muffled voices muttered from below the floor. Ahk opened his mouth to speak again, but you quickly silenced him with your hand, carefully tuning back into the conversation beneath you. A loud crash was followed by silence, and that combination had you jumping to your feet.
"What is it?" Ahk asked, much more panicked now that he noticed your own fear.
"They're coming upstairs," you said as you backed up through the crowd, disturbing those you bumped into.
"They're – oh fuck." Ahk's expression dropped. "The soldiers are coming!"
Ahk yelled his warning over the music, certainly loud enough to assure the soldiers that there were, in fact, people up here. Lutes and harps stuttered to a halt, the pounding of footsteps now clear through the walls.
Panic seized the partygoers. People trampled over one another reaching for their belongings casted aside, hurriedly adjusting them back onto their bodies and making for the windows. Like rats they climbed out, writhing over each other into a mass of fabric and limbs, followed eagerly by you and Ahk. Massive backpacks made it so you were the last out and the only two to see the soldiers yourselves.
The pounding door had you stuck in a trance, only able to back up towards the window. As it slammed open, you finally caught sight of the falcon-headed soldiers, their sharpened spears and sharper eyes, staring empty-minded at you as Ahk pulled you out the window.
"This way!" Came a voice from above you.
You and Ahk quickly looked up, finding a young woman offering you a hand from the rooftop. Ahk took no hesitation in grabbing it, allowing her to hoist him upwards. When he reached down to find your hand, he felt nothing, and panic struck his heart like a searing knife. He ducked his head down, watching the room upside down.
Muscled arms wrapped around your chest and face, blocking your mouth from making practically any sounds at all. The only sound you could make was from kicking your legs frantically.
He jumped back to his feet on the roof, spinning round to the woman who had helped him.
"I need a sword," he said in a rush, desperate eyes already begging.
"Um – ask Imar, I believe he has one," she said, pointing to the man who worked at the bar downstairs. Ahk thanked her in a rush and left.
"Imar!" He called as he jumped from one building's roof to another, approaching where most of the party-goers had gathered. "I need a sword, or a weapon of any sort. Crossbow even."
"I've got a sword, but I need it. There's a stock of axes over there. Don't know who they belong to, though, so take at your own discretion," he said. Ahk once more gave his thanks before running off.
The kink in your neck had only gotten worse the more you struggled, spiking pain down your spine and into your skull each time the soldier's golden bands pressed into the side of your neck. Your already travel-worn shoes were now nearly in shreds, pulling and pushing on the rough gravel roads, occasionally cutting the soles of your feet open. Thus far you had not been allowed to speak, one massive arm nearly cutting off your oxygen supply.
Although you couldn't tell for sure where they were dragging you, you assumed it was towards a temple, as the buildings around you slowly grew more complex and well-kept. A temple seemed a proper place where you could be thrown into whatever underworld Amun lived in.
Being a commodity fought over should've scared you more. There was a panic seizing your nerves, but you were numb to the surprise, instead saving your energy till you could outsmart the soldiers.
Squawking interrupted your harsh breathing, crying out from behind the falcon soldier. You opened your eyes to the dark of night, spying through the shadow-filled alleyway a running figure, followed by the heads of soldiers falling from the city's silhouette. It was then you recalled a very important fact––Amun and his soldiers might've been strong, but Ahk held within him a hunger unlike that of the starved. The hunger of the rich––of pigs and cannibals. A hunger that terrified you to your core.
The first soldier in your sight that emerged from the shadow of buildings soon stopped in its' tracks, tumbling down past its' own knees as the falcon head slipped off human shoulders. Your shocked eyes watched intently, darting upwards to see Ahk with a broad axe.
His blade came down on the last remaining soldier walking behind your captor, blood splurting from the veins and splattering on his face. Much of it landed on your foot, leaving a trail of red as you were dragged, legs still shakily kicking.
He held a finger up to his lips, hushing any muffled screams that might've come from you. Whatever he had planned, you let him do what he deemed necessary, and kept quiet to avoid the suspicion of the soldier restraining you. He raised his axe high above his head, as though he were to strike you down. Terror filled your eyes when the blade came screaming down, splitting the soldier's head in two before it could ever reach you, leaving no mark on you but the pouring blood of the falcon head. The grip on you loosened, and as you pushed yourself away the corpse fell to the ground.
Blood and nerves squelched as Ahk tore the weapon out of the skull, a horrible crack resonating in the empty street when the base of the skull finally split. He panted, droplets of blood falling into his open mouth as he turned to you, eyes frozen and wide.
"You alright?" He asked softly, in a tone so out of character from his current state.
"... yeah," you breathed out.
The axe clattered onto the ground, followed shortly by Ahk falling to his knees. From there he crawled the short distance to you, gently wrapping his arms around your middle, and pulling you into his lap. He buried himself in your neck, hid away in your warmth. The blood covering his midsection soaked through your shirt.
"Ahk, we need to leave, you know there's more of them," you said, though you did not cease in stroking his hair.
"I know," he mumbled, pressing himself tighter to you for a moment before releasing. "They didn't hurt you?"
"Nothing but bruises," you huffed. "Let's go."
You kept near the entrance to the tavern as Ahk wandered back inside, checking behind the counters and in the attic for any trace of the fleeing people. From the roof you could hear muttering, though you couldn't see anyone, and you could vaguely make out the words they were saying.
"Are you the one they're looking for?" A woman asked.
"I did anger an Egyptian god, yes," Ahk said with a curt nod.
"Imar!"
The man from the downstairs bar appeared from over the horizon of another tall rooftop. He was drenched in sweat, practically glowing in the dim moonlight.
"Yes?"
"These are the ones they want," she said, gesturing to Ahk.
"Really?" He said as he dusted his hands off. "The hell did you do?"
"I, um, attacked a God in order to save my.. um... Amoke," he answered rather sheepishly.
"You cannot stay here," Imar said firmly.
"I'm sorry, but we have many other people looking for protection. We will not risk them for two people who have private business with whatever kind of God you worship," the woman said.
"I understand. Keep safe. Do you have any ideas on where we could go for the night?"
"Try the old graves up on the hill. They hate desecrating the dead," she said before sending Ahk back off down the stairs.
Footsteps drummed for a moment before the door swung open, revealing the Pharaoh still covered in blood. By now it had dried, leaving much of it to flake off his clothes and skin, now a muddy brown instead of the vibrant red of before.
"Have you ever slept in a grave before?"
"What?"
You had expected him to ask, considering what you heard of the conversation, but you weren't wholly convinced he would actually allow himself to sleep in a tomb.
"A long while ago, I died for a little while. Well, I guess not that long ago. Two or three years. My brother killed me," he began as he started off down the steps, taking you with him as he directed you through the streets, "and I was buried. Piye returned from their banishment shortly after and dug me out of my grave... used their gift to give me life once more."
"... you're really expecting me to believe that?" You asked, almost ready to burst out laughing.
"You saw Amun come to life. There are flowers growing out of your arms. What part of my story is unbelievable to you?"
"Right," you mumbled. "Good point. So... did you sleep in that grave or something?"
"It's complicated, but I was conscious for some time, locked underground. Not Piye's magic. Khonsu's, I believe. Either way, it's not horrid if you have someone with you," he said, patting you on the back with a smile.
"Did you have someone with you?"
His expression fell, the hand on your shoulder going with it.
"I did," he said softly, offering no more than a bittersweet twitch of his smile.
Ahk caught it before you did––the trampling of numbered footsteps, growing steadily louder the closer you came to the upcoming street. You remained within your own thoughts, plagued by questions, and mostly ignorant to the slowing of his pace. Eventually he had to grab your hand, forcing you to hide behind the shadow of a tall building. You opened your mouth to say something, but he set his hand over your mouth, staring at you with an intensity that had terrified you only a little while earlier.
"They're coming," he mouthed in your ear, breath barely passing his lips as he spoke.
Steps grew louder and he pressed himself against you, squishing you to the wall with his chin on your shoulder. Pressure tightened around your chest, constricted your breathing, hastened the beat of your heart as you relied solely on your hearing.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
The clattering of armor, weapons, and shields rang through the marching steps, sending the imagery of shining, sharpened stone and arrows glinting in the moonlight.
"We need to go," he said beneath his breath.
Before you could ask what he meant, his hand encircled your wrist once more, pulling and forcing you down the other side of the alley. Chirps and squawks came from behind, making your pulse rush and swell beneath your skin. They would find you––bird brains though they were, they were still soldiers of a God, with eyes adapted for darkness. They would pull you into their hell and murder your... your Ahk.
Your Ahk.
You arrived back in your body when Ahk turned into an open, empty street, running uphill as he trained his sights on the tomb-filled mountains.
"We're not actually going to stay in a grave, are we?!" You asked as you ran, trying desperately to keep up with the long strides of the former Pharaoh.
"It is our safest bet," he said, tightening his grip on you. You still attempted to squirm out, however fruitless your struggle, and the proceeding panic had you soaked entirely in fear.
He kept you running till your legs burned, till he was fumbling over his own steps, too full of adrenaline to fully control his feet. Pebbles, rocks, and dust filled your sandals, scratching at your skin as it clung to your sweat. Your throat was still too tight to take in enough breath, leaving you part-way wheezing. Soon your own legs began to give way, scraping your knees and palms across rough dirt.
"Come, up," Ahk muttered as he helped you back to your feet, casting wary glances towards the city still ringing with the cries of falcons.
A few more minutes of scrambling up unused paths and you came to the foot of the hill, where the first graves had been set up. The long tunnels led into darkness, to a place you had never been before, where death would paint every wall. Few things in life truly terrified you––death was not among them, but the cruel afterlife of the Egyptians did. The tales you'd heard of the spells necessary to memorize, the weapons, the escorts, the protective magic one needed to have to brave what they called Duat had done that to you.
He didn't take to the first grave you saw, whose door was sealed shut from the outside with rope and wood. In fact he took you past halfway up the hills till he finally found a hole in which to hide, shoving you into the overwhelming darkness, and shutting the door partway.
All that you could hear was the trembling of your own breath, echoing in the empty, dank chamber. Despite the chilling cold the ground beneath you seemed wet, as though it had rained within the earth.
Clicking came from somewhere in front of you. Instinctively you pressed yourself against the wall, surprised to find not a cave wall but a carved granite wall. A flame burst before you as you realized this, revealing the whole of the cave, each wall covered in paintings of life and magic. Hieroglyphs lined every scene, rivalled only by the collection of yellow and white stars painted onto the lapis ceiling.
Your eyes scanned the walls around you and the ceiling, wandering down the pillars and towards the dirt floor. Across from you, Ahk leant his back against the wall, a flicker of light dancing on cloth ripped from his skirt. Now the material covered only the upper half of his thighs, leaving little to your imagination as he drew nearer to you.
"I'm afraid Nubian graves don't quite compare to the luxury of Egyptian graves," he said, setting his hand on your knee and running it up your thigh.
"When will we leave?"
"When our hunger becomes too great."
Ahk might've had good impulse control and lots of self control, but you did not.
"That'll be in days!"
"You're not very patient, are you?"
"Not when I'm stuck in a fucking tomb!"
"Screaming won't do you any favors, Amoke," he reminded you with a quirk of his brow.
Though you hardly had the consciousness of mind to recognize what he was doing, his hands had set to separating your legs, wedging himself inbetween them instead.
"I don't think the volume of my voice has anything to do with our predicament," you said scathingly, crossing your arms and turning away.
"Well, no, but you will hurt your voice. And my ears. This is a small room."
He had a point, but you were adamant in your decision to avoid his gaze. So instead you looked to the floor, your arms still crossed, and a small pout on your lip. Your eyes widened as you felt warmth on your neck, soft and somewhat wet. Ahk was kissing at your neck, one hand dangerously high on the inside of your thigh and the other squeezing your waist, in the middle of a tomb.
"What the hell are you doing?" You asked, beginning to worm in his grasp. The curt movements soon turned to struggle, your heart racing as he simply held you tighter, biting harsher at your neck.
"I could've lost you so easily today," he said softly between the ministrations of his lips.
"Amun almost kidnapped me, too, and you didn't act l –" he bit down and you gasped, "like this."
He simply chuckled and continued.
"I wanted to," he admitted after a moment. "He had no right to do anything to you. I've already lay claim."
"What?"
"You're mine. I found you first." Motions began to grow rougher, hands tightening on you as kisses became hurried and desperate. "My beautiful little toy... I won't let you go, never."
"Ahk, we're in a grave," you said, attempting to pull his hands off you.
In one swoop his hands caught yours, pinning them above your head. The weight of his body still rested between your legs, keeping them apart, and allowing him access to push and grinded himself against you. His strained breathing kept your shuffling feet company, a distraction from the heat welling in your stomach.
"Ahk..."
"You are a most beautiful sight," he murmured against your flushed skin. "Truly fit to be a god yourself."
The fear rushing through your blood was one unfortunately familiar––that same fear when you first met him. When he tied you to his bed for hours. When he stood above you with angered eyes, scanning the whole of your over-exposed body.
"This isn –"
"You told me you didn't love me... do you remember that?"
"... yes," you said, still unable to meet his eyes even as he pulled away to look you in the face.
"Then I suppose I have nothing to lose," he murmured, leaning into gift the softest of kisses, barely gracing the bow of your lip, "as all I want in this realm is your love."
"And what of your kingdom?"
"My kingdom is my duty. I do not enjoy ruling, but it is something I must do for the safety of families who now rely on a government to protect them. You, however..." he trailed off for a moment, biting into his bottom lip with a grin, "... you I enjoy very much."
A quick kiss to your lips and he resumed what he started, letting your entwined hands fall in favor of feeling you. His touch slipped up your shirt, feeling the heat of your skin until it grew too much to bear, and he began untying the knots of your clothes. Once he pulled the fabric off your shoulders, he leant back to pull his own coat off. The space gave you ample time to wriggle out of his weakened grasp, though you barely raised to your feet before he grabbed your ankle, pulling you back down and scuffing you in the process.
You turned onto your back, watching with heavy, quickened breaths as he pulled you to him till your hips met, hands and piercing eyes pinning you into place. For a split second an image flashed before your eyes––rope in his hand, silk beneath you, and a servant watching it happen. You shook your head to clear it away, opening your eyes in time to see him lay you flat on the earth.
"I love you," he murmured with a reverence so deep you could swear there were tears welling in his eyes. The hands on your hips slowly ran up your waist and over your chest, squeezing and teasing your senses. "Beautiful..."
He dipped down, like a hand of God descending from heaven to grasp the unholy that sits beneath. Kisses landed on your sternum, trailing up towards your neck, where his nipping teeth had already left dark marks. Unsure what to do with yourself, you let your hands sit above your head and allowed him to do as he pleased.
"I have waited forever to indulge in you," he said, the heat of his words beneath your jaw.
Your eyes flew open.
Haji warned you about this––or maybe it was Naguib, but he didn't seem to like you all that much. Either way, you recalled a spare bit of information given to you concerning the Pharaoh; he might've originally locked you in the castle to have his heirs. Was this what he was doing? Giving into what he'd first taken you for?
"Will you give me this?" He asked, inches away from your face, your leg kinked up upon his hip.
"What?"
"The easiest form of love," he said through a crack in his voice. From here you could clearly see what you'd spied earlier––tears. "I cannot seem to win your personal love. But I will take anything you give me, and I want this."
"... what?"
He ground his hips into yours, till you could clearly and distinctly feel something hard pressing against you. A soft groan fell from him. Part of you already knew what he meant, but another part was still stunned into stupidity, your wide eyes nothing but empty.
"I need you," he murmured.
Even with all the thoughts in your head, you couldn't manage a single word. Your mouth hung open, gasping when stimulated, but mostly silent with your own confusion. There was an appeal to Ahkmenrah––his beauty, his intelligence, his humor. Quite the array of good traits even without the fact that he held massive amounts of power, or did at one point. Yet you still couldn't let go of what you'd seen him do. It loomed over you like an eclipse, blocking your thoughts and stilling your mind in its' presence.
He didn't have the strength within him to stop himself. He would need your ardent refusal, even though he knew silence was a quiet no, to regain his control. It was a funny thing, seeing him so desperate––a man as composed as him, as aware of himself as him would be remiss to be such a shameful sight.
And it was you.
You driving a Pharaoh to his knees. You taking a man whose very essence was his control over his identity and tearing his image apart. Making him a devil in his people's eyes. You weren't even asking him to ruin himself, to take himself apart just to appeal to you even in the slightest––he was doing that himself. Willingly.
Your chest felt concave upon itself as he continued, numb to the realizations in your head. He pulled off your skirt, the ties in your clothes, till both of you were nude, him still locking your body to the ground. From this angle he could thrust against you, almost fucking your thighs as your wetness grew. Gasps and moans built in your mouth despite your efforts to keep an even expression. He delighted in your own embarrassment, laughing when you squirmed with your eyes shut tight and a hot blush on your face.
"Gods, you are... perfect," he said, devolving into a long, soft moan as the head of his cock began to prod at your entrance.
A rush of excitement––or perhaps just the simpler anticipation––ran through you, and you couldn't stop the sounds that left you as he pushed in. He stretched you, filled you perfectly, and for a moment you wondered if you had been denying yourself a taste of bliss. 
As he kissed you, bitter iron filled your mouth and painted your tongue. At first you wondered if he had bitten too hard (or if you had), but in a short time you realized it was the dried blood, still caked onto his face and body.
Blood passing between your lips. Mingling with your breaths and moans. It became hard to distract yourself with the forceful thrusts of the Pharaoh above you, your mind instead set fierce upon your sense of taste, and the watchful, hooded eyes Ahk looked down on you with.
He soon noticed your sudden daze, and his thrusts slowed down, going deep instead of fast.
"Are you alright?" He asked softly, though he didn't stop his movements entirely.
Your wetness squelched slightly, making you shut your eyes tight with embarrassment, your arms coming to hide your face from sight. Of course, Ahk was having none of that––he took your arms, carefully pinning them to either side of your head.
"A little shy, are you?"
"... this is my first time," you finally mumbled, turning away so you wouldn't have to see his reaction.
"Oh."
He stopped grinding into you. But you couldn't help yourself––you wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him back into you and moaning when he was fully sheathed.
"Fuck," he groaned, eyes rolling up into his head. "Perfect little pet."
He pinned you to the floor as he finished, keeping you from scrambling away. There he kept you, warm on his cock, filling you with his seed as you whined helplessly.
Although he made an effort to take care of you, gently stroking your skin and kissing away what marks he made, the whole of the day left you both exhausted, and the bout of 'exercise' certainly hadn't helped. In the end you asked him to stop worrying and simply sleep at your side; he acquiesced, using his arm as a pillow as he faced you.
"Still hate me?" He asked, and though they would've been teasing words out of anyone else's mouth, you found sincerity in his expectant eyes.
"No."
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Okay I was gonna do another SG:WoT post anyway because we’ve got a new King interview but THEN, he released the cover to issue four so you KNOW I gotta geek out about this.
(Sorry that this blog is all SG:WoT, all the time now, but I am just. Insanely excited that Evely is drawing Supergirl. Feel free to block/mute these posts as needed. XD)
Okay, so!
First! The interview!
It’s on (ugh) screenrant so I’m not gonna link, I’m just gonna nab the interesting bits:
On the different direction of the book, and if he wanted to go back to the original Adventure Comics vibes: “So, the idea of this thing was to strip her story down, because Supergirl has a majorly weird history in terms of continuity. At least 13 writers have rewritten her origin over the years. Her dad has 13 origin stories; sometimes he's evil, sometimes he's a robot, sometimes alive, sometimes he's dead. She's changed dramatically in the last 10 years, between coming back to life to the New 52 to Rebirth. She's gone through so much that it's hard to get a hold of her. Not to mention in the '90s, when I was coming up, she was like an ectoplasmic space angel. There's so much there, and I just wanted to take all that stuff off and get to the core of the character; get her out of her normal environments and her normal conflicts. It seems like all our stories are about her dad or her relationship to Superman. Instead, let's see the purity of that character.”
On starting the book the way he did: “...I wanted to start out with a very human moment of a person turning 21 and getting drunk. And a person who is getting drunk because they want to be alone, and they just want to forget about the shit that's happened in their past. That's such a human moment. And the fact that she's Supergirl, so she waits till it's legal - because these super people, they follow the rules. She waited, and now it's legal and she can have this moment. She goes off by herself, with her dog that always follows her, and she has a moment where she can be free. For a lot of people in the US, whether you've been drinking since you were 14 or started that day, your 21st birthday and the day after are days you remember for the rest of your life. It's a day of freedom and consequence, and I wanted to show Supergirl going through that.”
On rising to the challenge of helping Supergirl perform better, sales/popularity-wise: “ When I first got on this book, I called Steve Orlando, who had just written a Supergirl run. And he was the one who opened my eyes to how good the character is. He had such insight into her. He was like, ‘There is a difference between Clark and her, and what she's gone through.’ He just laid it for me.”
On starting the book off with Ruthye’s journey, and gradually building to Kara’s: “ I was like, "Okay, this is going to be from the point of view of someone under Supergirl." And so I switched the point of view to this new brand new character, whose name is Ruthye. And we went from there: we start with Ruthye's story, we see her discover Supergirl, and she's our audience. She's our way in, the way Robin has always been the way into Batman.”
On whether or not other characters will show up, outside of Supergirl and Ruthye: “It's like my Superman: Up in the Sky, where it's a distillation of the character. You'll see other characters, but the focus of every issue will be on Supergirl. And it's something where at the very end, you can be like, "Why is Supergirl great? Why is she important to the DC Universe? What is her future in the DC Universe? Here, read this one trade that can answer all three of those questions at once."So, there will be other characters in the Super universe. But the focus will always be on her; on Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow. It's her finding out about herself and her own strength.”
On Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow vs. his other titles: “Supergirl is my first 2021 book, or my first book of the 20s. That wrapped up my books of the teens, and now we're in a new generation. God willing, from the moment I started this book, I was like, ‘I'm gonna take a risk, and I'm gonna write books that are a little brighter.’ I know that's coming from me, and it's not to say we're going to avoid conflict or we're not going to explore the depths of the human soul. All that stuff will be in there. But these books are made from a place of joy, not from a place of anger; from a place of hope, not from a place of despair. It very much contrasts to those other books, in my mind.”
On how he thinks folks will react to the Krypto cliffhanger: “I mean, they're gonna think it's a good cliffhanger. That's how I think they're going to react. They're going to say, ‘I want the next issue.’ That's literally my job as written in my contract. Something where at the end of an issue, someone says, ‘I want more.’ So, that's how I hope they react.”
As mentioned, this is not the full interview; the whole thing can be found on screenrant, and I think Tom King shared a link on his twitter. 
And now, as always, SOME THOUGHTS:
I love that he brings up the fact that so many Supergirl stories focus on Zor-El and Clark, and how he was like, ‘let’s not do that.’
That’s my big gripe with modern Supergirl comics; they are trying so hard to make a statement on why we need both a Supergirl AND a Superman, that they end up spending ALL THEIR TIME talking about Clark, instead of, you know. Telling a fun Supergirl story.
Same thing with Zor-El! I know folks love Rebirth--I like it quite a bit myself--but I think the nostalgia goggles prevent folks from remembering that the whole first arc of that book was re-doing the ‘Cyborg Superman’ garbage from the Nu52. 
Speaking of Rebirth, really like that of all the recent SG writers he coulda talked to, he talked to Steve Orlando.
Like, if ya can’t get Gates on the phone, get Orlando.
(I get the sense that Gates doesn’t like this book, actually, based on a vague tweet. But don’t quote me on that.) 
Looks like Ruthye is gonna be our POV/audience insert character for the whole run. I’m...mmmm. I don’t love it, but I understand the logic here. Especially since he compared it to Batman and Robin--how you use Robin as your entry point for a bat book. 
And you know what? Kara’s supporting cast needs some help, so. Welcome to the Superfam, Ruthye.
I also love the explanation behind the drinking thing, as well as the fact that Kara waited until it was 100% legal for her to drink because OF COURSE SHE WOULD.
I am so worried that Krypto is gonna die b/c of what we saw in Future State. I’m over here with my Pepe Silva board like, ‘Well, what if Kara agrees to help Ruthye because Krem MURDERED HER DOG?!?! WHAT IF THIS IS JOHN WICK IN SPACE?!?!?!’
So I am DISMAYED that King does not reassure us AT ALL.
Thus I am forced to cling to this tidbit here: “ But these books are made from a place of joy, not from a place of anger; from a place of hope, not from a place of despair. It very much contrasts to those other books, in my mind.”
Killing the dog would not be joyful. XD So, like. I’m REALLY HOPIN’ HE’LL BE OKAY.
AND LASTLY, (Except not really)
I have some additional, miscellaneous thoughts unrelated to the interview b/c I’m me and I’m loving having a Supergirl comic back on the shelves, however polarizing it may be.
Something I realized, when details started to come out regarding the book, and that other folks have now noted as well: Kara was 16 when Rebirth launched in 2016; she’s just turned 21 in 2021, making her one of the extremely few comic characters to age in real time.
I don’t think that was planned, but it is cool.
It occurred to me on a re-read that Ruthye never calls Kara Kara in her narration, only Supergirl. And I was a little sad! But then I remembered that Kara wouldn’t necessarily reveal her identity to people she’s helping, she would just be ‘Supergirl’ to them. 
I really do love how, so far, there has been NARY A MENTION of Kara angst-ing over being in Clark’s shadow, or being Superman’s cousin.
It appears that her drinking alone on a remote planet is more related to trying to forget her trauma/grief related to Krypton. MAYBE. We don’t know yet.
The Clark thing could still come up. I hope it doesn’t. 
(Interesting to note! Kara recently appeared in Action Comics, helping Clark and Jon investigate some Kryptonian refugees; IDK how closely these books will necessarily ‘work together’ in terms of continuity, but! It’s possible that the discovery of those mysterious refugees was triggering, thus sending her on her way to her own solo title.)
(Well. That’s gonna be my headcanon, anyway. XD)
AND LASTLY, (for real this time)
ISSUE FOUR COVER!!!!
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Okay, some immediate thoughts:
GOOD LORD IT’S STUNNING.
I loooooove the fire motif, reminds me of a part from the Rebirth run, where Kara met the Super-Man of China, and they visually referenced All-Star Superman, having the Kryptonians kind of...become the sun.
Also STAR CHART?!?! PIRATE MAP!?!?!?! 
The VIBES I tell you, the VIIIIIIIBES.
Also I love that it’s just Kara.
Don’t get me wrong! I like Ruthye just fine so far! But yeah, yeah, give me some more solo-Kara focus, even if it’s just in the art.
Just realized that once this thing gets collected as a TBP, we might get some Evely art backmatter. OhHhhHHhhH YESSSS. 
Anyways, the long wait for issue 2 begins! 
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RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 1 Review/Rundown
This volume is off to a STRONG start if I may say so myself. No big action scenes, nothing to get the blood boiling or freezing over yet, but this is just the first chapter and we have a lot of dreadful stakes and danger ahead of us. This is a setup premiere, and it promises us pain and stress like nothing before. And we’ve all been conditioned to the point that we actually look forward to that. What we got is plenty good, so why not dig in to this succulent appetizer?~
Right off the bat, we get something we knew we wanted but never quite realized how much we needed... A young black haired woman on her knees scrubbing a wood floor. Bandages on one of her fingers and right wrist, modest clothing, and so very little soul to be seen in her amber eyes. Ladies, gentlemen, and that technicolor rainbow in between, we are getting our first look at Cinder’s troubled Cinderella-style past. It’s just this one floor washing scene for now, but we see present day Cinder’s Grimm fingers scratching into the chair in front of her with the same rhythm so we can be pretty confident it’s really her. Hopefully we will get more as the volume progresses, especially with the opening showing her seem to be having trouble controlling her powers. Neo is flying an airship directly up to the giant whale, whom I will continue to nickname Monstro. Concerned by all the other Grimm flying around it, she nevertheless flies along its side and we find there are handily carved out landing pads for ships. Guess Salem modded this beast to be her mobile base. As Neo apprehensively follows Cinder up a staircase, we see these modifications include a throne which the Grimm queen is sitting in awaiting their arrival. This is Neo’s first time actually seeing the woman behind the dark curtain, and I don’t think she was expecting this. What she may have expected even less was that the prideful psychopath Cinder would actually bow down to this woman. Yet bow she does, and Salem greets her with smug condescension, asking if she’s lived up to the responsibility expected of her as Salem’s vessel for the maidens. Has she done as asked and brought a worthy gift for her goddess? Indeed she has, she’s brought her the Relic of Knowledge... and claims she acquired it all by herself, throwing all of Neo’s hard work out the window so she can have all the glory. [Neo will remember that...] But certain poisonous arachnids are unimpressed, as Tyrian emerges from the shadows to say that taking anything from Ironwood is less of a show of Cinder’s skill and more a sign of the General’s incompetence. With a dig pointed seemingly at both Cinder and Neo, he points out that James was not the first person to be outsmarted by Team RWBY and their friends. But unlike Volume 4, Cinder has her voice and claps back at Tyrian, reminding him that according to the Atlesian military radio chatter he too was outdone by Ironwood’s allies. So was Watts, for that matter, and which of them managed to get away unscathed again? Certainly not the good Doctor, and Tyrian agrees that he was a... necessary sacrifice. Speaking of, he sees Cinder brought a fresh face that could be kindling for the fires of their crusade. Salem finally acknowledges that yes, there is someone here she didn’t recruit herself, and she demands an explanation from Cinder. The Fall Maiden of course explains that Neo has powers that will be very useful to them, but refers to her only as an asset, not even a subordinate or teammate. [Neo will remember that...] 
And speaking of the “tools” Cinder has collected, in come Emerald and Mercury in fresh new outfits! I think they both look pretty good, and I especially like Merc’s new jacket with his winged boot emblem on the left side. Emerald looks quite fashionable and I like the necklace, but there’s still a lot of exposed skin for being in Atlas... Of course, some things never change and she excitedly rushes to Cinder’s side, only to be shut down with a single gruff word. Speaking of gruff, Hazel is here with a new look too. His hair’s been shortened/combed back and he has what I can really only describe as a tank top with the sleeves torn open all the way down to near the waist, that shows off the muscles and scars on his arms and up the sides of his torso. It’s a tough look, but again not very winter weather savvy, and I miss the wild man look he had before. Regardless of the new looks, Tyrian has the same old criticisms of Emerald’s loyalty to the ever so incompetent Cinder. He and Watts rained hell (and very cold snow) on Mantle and threw Atlas into chaos, while Cinder merely fixed her mistake from Haven instead of getting new Maiden powers here in Atlas. She blames Penny for that setback, and mark her words she will be going back to rend her limb from mechanical limb to get the Winter Maiden powers... except she won’t be. Salem has decreed no such action, and it seems clear she won’t be doing so for a good while. Cinder tries to object, but Salem exerts her control over Monstro merely by touching her throne and sending a glowing pulse through the entire throne room. Cinder needs to be reminded of the big picture and her very small place in it, so Salem makes a window. This is a game of chess, and Cinder should count herself lucky to even be considered above a pawn. She is still a tool for Salem to use in her own victory, and the only thoughts she should have are how to achieve what Salem tells her to do. Cinder seems to resign herself to this fate a bit, and says that she is indeed nothing without Salem’s help. In a sense, you do have to sympathize with Cinder’s situation. Clearly her childhood had her in a situation where she was forced to do as told and not given much praise or appreciation for it. She probably sided with Salem because she was promised more power than she could have ever dreamed, but now she’s back being stuck in a position of servitude and abuse. And she does what she can to feel strong and in control: pass on that abuse to her own minions. And poor Emerald does not deserve it. At least Mercury has enough self confidence to know he wants to be his own man in all this, and he seems to have the ambition to try and work his way up the ladder for more earned respect. Still, back to Cinder, she’s clearly conditioned to fear any reproach from Salem. Quieted at a raise of her hand, as if knowing that the witch could take away the maiden magic in an instant and she’d be left with nothing again, and just as easily dismissed with a passive wave. To be fair though, that was for everyone, and the others know what she can do to people who piss her off so they scram too. She ominously turns to take the lamp somewhere, but we’ll check in on that at the end. 
For now, we go down down down to a shanty town in Mantle. It’s clearly the slums for Faunus mine workers in the crater, and among them we see a familiar face. Oscar!! He’s sitting by a fire staring off in deep thought, until an old man with badger hands pushes a bowl in his direction and wordlessly indicates for him to sip some. Idk if it’s a hot soup or something, from the view inside we get it looks to just be water but that could be unintended, but Oscar is thankful. No sooner does the old fella walk away than Ozpin pipes in to tell Oscar to be on guard. An airship swoops in overhead, and most of the faunus scurry away (no pun intended). Oscar stands defensively, but the door opens to reveal Ruby!! She and Weiss came to get him, though I don’t know how they found out where he was, and Maria is flying. He gets onboard and we get an aerial shot of snowfall over Mantle followed by a much less pleasant sight. Sabyrs are still getting in through the holes in the wall, and Manticores still swoop through the skies. Oscar berates himself for thinking Ironwood would listen to reason, for so many of his choices ending up being wrong ones, and he clearly blames the current situation at least partially on himself. We see that current situation as people on the streets below continue to huddle around burning trashcans and wood piles for warmth. Ironwood seriously still hasn’t done anything to try and get Mantle’s heat back? Of course he hasn’t, he’s going to abandon them, what was I thinking? Ruby reassures Oscar that he did what he thought was the right thing, they all did. What’s important is that he’s still here. It might just be how hyped up for a certain posse of do-gooders a certain Miss @kdinjenzen has been getting a lot of us over the last few months, but I was genuinely excited to see Joanna Greenleaf come out from around the corner of a building and gesture Maria to land. She rushes the group inside a building and shoots down a camera drone that was about to turn around and spot them before heading in herself. We see sooner than hear May Marigold, coordinating civilian transportation efforts over comms while leaning over a kitchen stove. She’s sending Fiona to transport some folks from one of the sectors on a map we don’t get to see... to the crater. Oh boy, that’ll be something to get into in just a minute. Our girls and boy walk past her into a restaurant dining room. Guess non-essential services really were shut down due to this crisis... okay yeah that’s too topical. The other half of Team RWBY, as well as JNR, Penny, and Pietro, are sitting around tables idly waiting until they hear the doors open and their friends return. All eyes are on the farmboi, and Nora is the first to rise from her chair with a small smile. Oscar braces himself for an energetic tackle hug, or whatever he thinks Nora would be likely to do, but she just walks over and give him a gentle embrace. The poor kid definitely needed that. Ruby and Weiss smile from the sidelines, one of the only shots the two of them share much to my aching shipper’s heart. But it’s fine, this is a time from group joy and union. Blake voices the concerns everyone had for Oscar’s fate when he had run off to confront Ironwood alone, how they feared the worst. Weiss of course is the one to ask how in the world he got all the way down to the slums, but he avoids the question by saying its a long story, and clearly not the only one based on Penny being with them. Internally, Ozpin questions him on not telling the group that he has reemerged in his mind, but Oscar says the two of them have more to discuss first. Instead, he notes the absence of a certain sobering up bird, and that puts a frown on most of the group’s faces. Ruby says they don’t know, last they heard he was with Robyn, but beyond that no news apparently reached them. Clearly they fear he’s dead, and cannot begin to imagine he’s been accused of murder. We only infer this of course, because the convo is cut short by Joanna coming into the room to talk shop. They’re all reunited, now its time to put the group to work helping the people of Mantle. No heat, no military help, just Grimm hovering over the city in a horde unlike any they’ve seen before. Those people need help, and they are huntsmen and huntresses with the skills to provide that help. Ren is the one to question “How?” Ironwood’s not letting people up into Atlas anymore, and Salem’s forces around the perimeter have made escape from the city impossible. Joanna’s solution is to look down, to the crater right under Atlas. It’s not safe, but it’ll be warm and they can better protect everyone if they’re all gathered in one place. The teens seem hesitant, I might even say incredulous, but she assures them that May will send them where they are needed and with their skilled numbers it will be that much safer for the civilians. Their priority needs to be getting everyone into the crater by nightfall, because she believes they’ll stand more of a chance in the slums. As Joanna heads out the door, Weiss gripes that they’ll never sleep again with how busy they’re going to be, but Joanna retorts that you’re either helping or you’re baggage.
I have... some thoughts about the Happy Huntresses’ plan. Yes, evacuation of the cold city seems like a great idea, and getting everyone in a single easy to defend place is sound strategy. But there’s some Atlas sized problems with their choice of location to evacuate to, and I do realize they may not even be aware of the potential genocide they’re setting up. Salem wants the staff, which is currently in use holding up Atlas. If she takes it, as she so clearly intends to do, Atlas will fall. Atlas will fall back into the crater it rose from, where thousands of people are gathered. That is a big SQUISH that I really don’t want to see happen. I get that Joanna, May, and Fiona may not know about the Relic, I doubt even Robyn knows. But we the audience do, and that dramatic irony has us all wincing prematurely at what grim future we hope will not come to pass. Hopefully it won’t come to that, so let’s go back to what conversations are actually being had.
Yang steps up and says that they need to get out there and help the people of Mantle, but Ruby objects and says they need to do what they can for the sake of everyone. Her first thought is on getting Amity launched like Ironwood had initially planned, so the whole world can be warned about Salem being on the attack. They need help, cuz as it stands Mantle and Atlas do not have this handled. Blake, somewhat surprisingly, agrees with Ruby rather than Yang. The Happy Huntresses have a plan for Mantle’s evacuation, they’ve got that under control while these folks worry about the bigger picture. But, Yang points out, Amity isn’t actually finished and ready to be launched. Ruby considers that and turns to the smartest man in the room for an estimate on what it would take to launch Amity at this point. I’m unsure if she means send it up in its incomplete state or power through the process during this crisis to get it 100% complete before then also launching it in the midst of this warzone. Pietro admits they had made some strides in terms of construction and collecting fuel, “all potentially manageable”, so maybe that means it’s close enough to the completed product they had first planned that it can get done as things are now. Or maybe it means that with what they’ve already done its just good enough that they could probably send it up and it’d be okay? Either way, the biggest problem is actually launching it. They need it to be granted clearance from Ironwood’s terminal before it can be launched, such was the nature of its design. Yang rightfully points out the General isn’t about to give that clearance willingly, so this is a fools errand. But Ruby is thinking outside the box about the specific phrasing, and realizes they don’t need the man’s approval, just access to his terminal so they can grant the clearance themselves. That too would be suicide, requiring getting back into the academy... or does it? Pietro reveals there’s another useable terminal, within the main Atlesian military compound at the base of the city. You know, the very bottom of this floating fortress city, surrounded by airships and security drones. Even once inside, there’s a lot of hoops to jump through, more than the good Doctor can wrap his head around in this moment. Oscar notes how this is very convoluted for apparently being the easier option, but Yang rebuttals that it’s straight up impossible and pointless, not to mention they can’t guarantee any help would even come upon hearing the message. This is more than Ruby can take, and she snaps back at her sister. It’s not pointless if it’s warning the rest of the world that Salem will be coming for them next. They need to send this warning.
This is when Yang gets... personal. She brings up the rest of the team’s decision to defer to Ruby’s leadership once they got to Atlas, and how things took a real nosedive soon after that. It’s clear that she’s implying Ruby’s decisions were the reason for their situation being as bad as it is, and you can see the pain on Ruby’s face as that hits her. Some upset looks on the others’ faces show they may have thought similarly but never would have actually said so. Ren steps up and says that helping the evacuation in Mantle is a feasible action they can take here and now rather than a longshot hope. We had seen a short sequence of Yang running through the daylit streets of Mantle on this mission to evacuate groups, and now Ren is in the scene at her side to signify which mission he’s going to take. Likewise, his face visibly saddens as we hear Nora take Ruby’s side about this not just being a matter of helping Atlas, it’s about warning the other three kingdoms so they can prepare for what’s coming. And with that we see her on the rooftop with Ruby where she had been looking up at the base of Atlas. Jaune is thankfully a neutral voice of reason who says they have the numbers to be able to do both, but Ruby is really worried that being divided like this is what Salem wants. Oscar has gotten wiser from his time with Oz in his head, and points out that the division Salem really wants is emotional, not always physical. Disagreements and arguments like this are what she wants, so they need to realize they can be a united group of cooperating minds while still splitting up to accomplish different goals. Penny... has a depressing third option. Let her deliver the Staff to Salem now and hope it will make her leave Atlas before things get worse. Oscar says they really can’t trust Salem to actually do that, and that as soon as she uses it to create anything else... down drops Atlas. Yang acknowledges that at the very least they can all agree turning Penny over to any other forces will not be happening.
Ruby resigns herself to leading a small squad instead of the full team, and asks if Pietro can help them get up to the terminal. He acknowledges they WILL need someone to bypass security, but Penny is the one to offer. I’d like to note that this whole time she’s been almost lifelessly facing away from the group and staring directly forward, and her voice has been bereft of any emotion or enthusiasm. For the cheerful person she normally is, this is heartbreaking to hear. Pietro tries to raise objections, saying she’s too valuable for them to risk anything happening to her, but she looks over her shoulder and firmly repeats herself, Maiden fire burning around her eyes. I get why Pietro is a bit overprotective of his daughter, she was destroyed once and emotionally scarred during Volume 7, plus she now has powers they absolutely can’t afford to lose the use of. But she is her own girl and needs to be able to make her own choices. Coddling her like this won’t help, especially now. Yang accepts this decision with a sigh and heads for the door to start getting down to business. Blake watches her go with a rather pained look, and we see a similar one on Weiss’ face as Yang passes behind her. Team RWBY is splitting up again, and they’re worried. Understandable. Pietro stops her at the door and tosses her a set of keys, which we transition to seeing in that same hand as she’s back in the daytime alleyway with Ren. We pan over to see Jaune and Oscar decided to go with them, and hear Pietro explain there’s some new tools back at his pharmacy that he had been working on for them before the crisis. From the promotional clip we got a few months ago, we know this means the hover bikes.
Heard but not seen is Ren asking Nora where she intends to go, and she affirms she’s sticking with Ruby. Of all people, she had been the one who was the most passionate about helping Mantle, so he asks her about it now, but she says that she’s absolutely saving Mantle. Because she actually believes Ruby’s plan can be done, and so we go back to seeing her on the roof, now joined by Weiss and Blake. Blake reassures Ruby that the group hasn’t been divided where it counts, but Ruby has concerns. Maria chimes in on comms to affirm that she’ll be taking Pietro up to Amity to finish what he can, but that leaves RWBNP without a way up to Atlas. Weiss starts to say she’s got that covered, but is interrupted by someone’s Scroll ringing. Blake, Ruby, and Nora all check theirs, but it turns out it’s Penny who’s getting a call... from General Ironwood. She hesitantly answers, and as soon as Ironwood’s voice comes through Nora starts scowling. Ruby seems rather neutral, but as Ironwood goes on with his very evenly toned request that Penny tell him where she is because he’s worried for her safety and wants to come pick her up, her eyes narrow. She’s been in an abusive relationship before, she recognizes gaslighting. Ironwood says that Atlas needs Penny since Salem is here. Before she can say anything, Ruby comes to her side and puts a supportive hand on her shoulder as she takes her Scroll. Penny’s not going anywhere, she says, not until Ironwood sees the error of his plans and change his mind about helping Mantle. It was a longshot, but at least she went for it. Ironwood starts losing his cool as he berates Ruby for still being hung up on saving Mantle when Atlas is the last hope Remnant has at salvation and Salem’s gathering forces are primed to destroy it. Unless Penny comes back and helps send it high into the sky. If she doesn’t, and Salem gets through their defenses, what comes next will be Penny’s fault. THIS is straight up psychological torment, he is manipulating her and dodging all blame for his actions by pinning them onto a poor girl already going through a crisis of identity. What absolute fucking garbage you are, James Ironwood. Penny retreats into Ruby’s arms, and she embraces her sympathetically. 
But enough of these poor suffering kids, let’s get some poor suffering adults. In an Atlas medical facility, what’s left of the Ace Ops are looking at the corpse of their leader lying cold and pale on a mortuary slab. Marrow is the only one who seems genuinely sad, Elm and Harriet just grumpy. To be fair, that anger could be pointed inward cuz they’re mad they weren’t there to help him in his time of need. Or maybe Ironwood told them that apparently Qrow did it, and they’re pissed they can’t kill him in revenge. Across the hall, Ironwood is watching them from Winter’s hospital room. The doctors have her left arm in a high tech looking cast, maybe it can speed up the healing beyond our normal medical science? Or maybe it’ll boost her strength so she can power through the pain and keep on fighting for the General and his crusade? I was initially worried they replaced the whole arm, given Ironwood’s tendency to substitute cyborg tech for his own human flesh in the event of great damage. Case in point, his burned up hand got the Skywalker treatment. But no, I think this really is just a cast. As Ironwood inspects his new sleek black limb, and the doctors test what Winter is currently capable of with her arms in the condition they’re in, a guard arrives to tell them some prisoners have arrived and are being processed in Stockade B. As the doctors test her right wrist for any tendon pains, and indeed there are some pains, she asks if the prisoners are in fact Robyn and Qrow the soon to be jail birds. He asks the doctors to leave the room, which they do, and Winter assures him she’ll be fine, though her inability to make a fist without pain says otherwise. As someone who got tendonitis in my wrist after a bad scrape on my bicycle, I know that pain. Ironwood thanks Winter for her dedication, and confides that faced with such unprecedented Grimm numbers he wouldn’t know what to do without her. Their hard light shields will hold the Grimm off, but only temporarily. FIRST OF ALL, you have enough money and resources for Hard Light Dust, the rarest and most expensive kind, to be shielding the entire kingdom... but not enough money to give Mantle a decent heating grid that’s not dependent on the SDC????? Or literally anything else that might have helped them now???? Eat the rich and defund the police, folks. Speaking of hot-button political statements, before he can answer Winter’s question about what he plans to do his musings are interrupted by his fellow council members Sleet and Camilla barging in demanding to talk to him. Mass evacuations, declaring martial law? They have several very pressing questions for him, but Ironwood has gone into tunnel vision and says he will be doing everything he can to defend the kingdom, no matter the cost to him or those around him. And he makes that abundantly clear as he strides out of Winter’s room and wordlessly shoots Sleet for daring to call him scared. Judging from Camilla’s screech and the looks on Elm and Marrow’s watching faces, it was fatal. This man is straight up executing his critics, but we kinda already knew this was gonna happen after he shot Oscar off the cliff. Clearly, Camilla will be too scared for her own life to speak up against Ironwood ever again. As the General strolls away, Winter and Harriet share a look through the open door. Harriet seemed shocked, but almost resigns herself to this. She’s in too deep, and as long as she’s loyal she’s got nothing to fear. Winter, on the other hand, let her sister go out into the world as Ironwood’s enemy. Not only is she worried Weiss will be in her boss’s crosshairs, but if he finds out she let her get away with the Winter Maiden then she might be executed for insubordination.
Finally, we get the tearing dripping shot of a portion of Monstro opening to reveal Salem holding the Lamp. Looking into it, she muses how she has questions she wants answered, but she needs the key to how to ask them first. To that end, she holds the Relic out in front of a mystery Grimm that emerged from the fleshy cage she just opened. It gets a good smell of the Lamp, and she instructs it to bring her the man who can show her how to get what she seeks. Oscar is in serious danger...
And so that’s it for Chapter 1! A strong start that doesn’t fill me with despair just yet but is definitely setting up some ways for me to really feel the aster down the line. I won’t review the opening much, because those are usually really abstract and vague about what’s actually gonna happen. We see there may be another encounter between Weiss and Winter now that they’re on opposite sides, and Watts seems to still be up to trickery. Ren and Nora miss each other, and things look particularly bad for Team RWBY. Also we get serious “Penny getting hacked and going evil” vibes, and I really don’t want such a horrible thing to happen to that mecha cinnamon roll. Looks like Oscar really will get captured, and maybe Salem can change her form a little since she has big cool bat wings as she looms over him. The song will take some getting used to, but it slaps hard and Casey is giving it 100% so that’s good enough for me.
Thanks thanks thanks for bearing with me for this long ass post, but I hope you got some joy from it.
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tonya-the-chicken · 4 years
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I wrote this post some time ago as a reply to someone and now I somehow want to post it again with some changes lol
TW: mentions of murder, referenced canon abuse and swearing
Let’s talk about redemption arcs and people’s overwhelming desire to punish fictional characters for what they did... Inspired by Endeavor hate ngl... I mostly speak about fictional charcters in this post so pllease, don’t go dumb and understand that fictional characters and irl people should be treated differently
I think sometimes people don`t understand why punishment exists in our society at all. Like, why couldn`t we just forgive? Why punishment is needed? Oh, I would like to talk about behavioural psychology, but it is kinda creepy so instead let`s remember what my teacher of LAWS said(idk what you call it in your bitchass America)
Punishment basically serves two functions:
Preventative (show others and a person that they can’t just get away with their deeds). Like, if you knew that there are no negative consequences, wouldn`t you do it? Wouldn`t you kill the old lady?
Correction and all work with a person in general (for example, you can be forced to go through some psychological help)
Also, I lied there’s one more: compensation. Like, if you stole something, then bring money back, you little shit. Or pay for therapy for your victim
So when we put it into stories and so popular nowadays redemption arcs (which I fucking adore if they are done correctly) we have 4 points out of this 3 cause the first one can be put into two
Character is punished to show others that this is not something you should do (it’s a kinda societal thing and has nothing to do with character in particular. This point in general is not interesting because it doesn’t drives changes in person by itself)
Character is punished so he himself would think twice before doing this shit again (we can’t know if person’s remorse is genuine so it’s better to simply scare them. But I can allow skipping this point if person’s remorse is clealy shown to be genuine and we as readers understand that. That’s probably the big distinction we, as readers, should see: while irl we never know persons true motives, work of fiction can provide them to us clearly)
Character changes and understands what is wrong in what he has done (the part of redemption we all love and enjoy)
Characters work hard to correct or atone for their mistakes
As we can see first two bullets has nothing to do with character development and serve for the purpose of maintaining order. The third one IS a character development and the last one is what makes people actually forgive horrible actions and not go ape shit I guess. But for some of us nothing is enough, isn`t it?
And there is one more shit that is often in redemption arcs and that shit is great and I fucking love it
Explanation of the character’s behaviour, their reasoning and motivation
I truly enjoy reading about WHY characters behave a certain way but people, remember, SAD BACKSTORY IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Same goes to your mental problems and hard life situation. The fact that behaviour can be explained doesn’t mean shit. Like, behaviour also follows certain laws and despite the fact that it’s sometimes hard to understand all the details we still theoretically can explain ANY BEHAVIOUR. Does this mean we can excuse any behaviour? HELL NO
So remember folks, “They had their reasons to do this” means nothing most of the time. “I wanted to try how it feels” is actually a valid reason to kill someone, you know. Of course, if crimes is not severe, reasoning suddenly can be very important like we won`t punish harshly someone who stole bread cause he is starving or cause he has kleptomania (I mean as a literal disorder). But even in that case you must pay back money cause like stealing is bad but eat the rich
let`s talk examples from bnha cause why not
Endeavour
We have Enji oh my baby you have done so much stupid shit you dumbass. Sad backstory even if will be brought up in the future, currently is not a focus of redemption at all. Like, he even doesn`t explain his behaviour too much. “He want to be the strongest, so he decided that even if his genes will make it to the top it will be enough. As a result,  blinded by his goal,   he abused his family”. Basically, it`s all the explanation we have right now. And if Hori stops at it I will be fine with it. Honestly, as much as I want to learn more about Enji’s past if Horikoshi leaves everything at this I would give him nothing but mad respect cause... This kind of shows that your reasoning doesn’t matter that much if you did horrifying things
So 3 points to redeem someone
Enji didn’t suffer any punishment for his actions (nightmares are considered punishment only if you believe in God. Also, too weak, God, try harder... And same goes for High-End). When I think about him being punished I actually worry about society’s reaction cause, like, he is number 1 hero and the fact that he’s an abuser will be, like, very shocking to simple people.Trust in hero will fall harder than my will to live during 2020. And honestly, media would just turn this into a drama possibly hurting other members of his family, like.... Enji being legally punished for his action would be an interesting plotline but in general I am not a fan
We see his genuine remorse and character growth. We all agree that he even is drawn differently now changed and trying to become a better person, yeah? Clumsily at first, but he genuinely works hard to be a better peron, hero and father. I can respecct that
Compensation… Well, you can exactly “correct” trauma so he should pay up for psychologists for each child he probably should follow the path of atonement and try to give them something he robbed them from. Like, go to family dinners with Fuyumi even though every last one of them is a disaster and nobody is happy to be there. Or make everything possible to provide Rei calm life with her children (like building a new house, yes, this is an amazing thing) or at least become *reducted cause I wanna this post to be serious and SFW*... Tbh I have nothing to say, he himself says multiple times that he seeks nothing but atonment, not even forgiveness
So like you better work bitch to make your family happy bastard... [And tbh they seem so much better then when I first wrote this post, I am so proud of you, my garbage fire man]
Overhaul
In no way is he redeemed but somehow people put Overhaul and Endeavor stans in the same category so here he goes
Kai has something Enji doesn’t: very good and detailed explanation, a plan, a smart reasoning. His wrong deeds were basically for a better good he believed in. But we all collectively hate him for what he done to Eri despite his actions having r E A S o n S. Dude has some MOTIVATION. So like yeah bros. It makes him an interesting character and he is an amazing villain but dude deserves to rot in prisons. He shows no remorse and I am gonna bet he won`t even think about somehow helping others. Dude is a shitty person. And I fucking love him
So let’s go for our 3 bullets again
Punishment. Yes, he is punished, he is in jail with both his hands cut off. Would it make people forgive him? Nah
Personal growth. I would like to see it but as far we saw barely no growth... Though maybe being in jail without quirk will make his brain work
Atonement... Dude has a Messiah complex, I ain’t waiting for that anytime soon
So I asked myself if I had two men: one who spent a sentence in jail for child abuse but is more or less the same person and another who wasn’t punished for his abuse but feel genuine remorse and actively try to make things better who will I choose? Of course, I will choose Pikachu
But is it possible to redeem Overhaul? I wonder if there`s a force in this world strong enough to make him become a better person. Welp... I am a sucker for redemptions, justt letting you know
All for One
Oh, he is irredeemable (and this is sexy). Why is he here? Cause, well
Even if he is punished there`s no punishment severe enough to describe how horrifying his deeds are
Even if he is to feel remorse… he has like 500 years or something??? And he didn`t feel anything killing people??? So why would he change today?
Even if he atone for what he’s done… I am to believe he started at least a civil war. You can`t atone for that bitch. You crossed all fucking lines, all fucking lines
AfO is literally the most evvil man in bnha... I don’t want to see him redeemed cause I love characters that are pure evil and I love the despair of realizing you can’t fix what you have done. Though you are free to have a different opinion! Who knows, maybe Horikoshi will make a classy redemption for him and I will scream out of excitement? Cause I am that kind of bitch??? Who knows! I just love to think Doctor Ujiko is gay for him
Anyway, why do people like to make this characters suffer? Like, Endeavor, Minoru, Overhaul, many others? Is this part of the “punishment” to feel like person paid for their deeds? Or do people just like fictional violence and punishing “bad” characters make them feel good about themselves? Who knows
I have no idea what this post is about I want to sleep and I like Enji though if you dislike him this is fine. I hope it was interesting reading this, love you all bye
Don’t kill me for my controversial takes, I am depressed
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edge-lorde · 4 years
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hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 
disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]
that rowan fucking died,
i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 
i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 
that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 
i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:
Tumblr media
;_;
the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.
lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....
sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 
right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 
so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 
the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  
my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;
i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  
GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 
most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 
they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 
the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.
 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 
rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 
theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 
theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.
and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 
until next time, remember.......
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artificiary-fr · 4 years
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ok so arti’s unnecessary opinion time
Just wanna give a disclaimer that these are just my sort of thoughts in general, and are in no way an attempt to demean, attack, or cause drama about any artist or staff member, or community member. Just kind of what I’ve observed and come to the questions/conclusions of. I got a little opinionated at the end but I tried not to single anyone out save for I think, one unnamed example? 
I’ll put everything under the cut here, because I know I have a tendency to get wordy (and spoiler: It did. This is a super long post, I’m sorry). So, here we go...
TL;DR: I like the gene, I’ll wait for the revamp before giving a concrete opinion, there were definitely some issues, I appreciate that staff took note/action, more communication like this or the dev streams is good (though communication between staff/community is a Thing unto itself of which I probably have a Disliked Take on and that was the really long part that isn’t necessary to read)
Okay before anything: the familiars. They’re super pretty! I like the recolors, and now I’m gonna have to grind the Kelp Beds for those boss fams. Dang. I love the kitty golem recolor.
With that out of the way, here we are - the subject of today’s discussions... Glowtail.
So, my first opinion: It’s not a bad gene! I can see some curious use for it, certainly. But there are some problems with it (and yes; I am aware staff has addressed this and pulled it to fix those problems! That’ll be more relevant later on here c: )
Note One: I think I do understand why it is a gem gene. Yes, design/thematically it does appear to fit the bill of a Baldwin Gene more. But I’d like to posit it’s the completion of a gem-gene set - Wasp/Bee/Glowtail. So in that regard, it makes sense!
Note Two: My personal opinion with the gene is that I like it, but it feels... hm. Plain isn’t correct. Like it’s missing something, I guess? I wish the segmenting was a little more prominent, and that the glow or gradient had a little more glitz/glamor, maybe some glitteries around the hips, to really sell it as a gem gene. I do like the glow we have on the other bits of dragon like light reflection, though, because it adds a little bit of dimension! All in all however even so, I do like it, and I won’t cement my opinion until we see what their updated version looks like in the future.
Note Three (The Problems): The art errors. What... what happened here?
As we’ve noticed, male snappers and male tundras are the two big offenders, with large chunks of color erroneously sitting outside the lineart quite noticeably. There is also part of the ‘glow’ (the aforementioned light reflection) that doesn’t make sense - being on parts of the dragon where it shouldn’t be, like on the front of wings where the tail is not in front of said limb, but behind.
But like... how did this not get caught before it got posted? Was it a time crunch, or it just... didn’t get quality checked before this happened? It’s really unfortunate. :c
Something I do with my art - and this is just my own process/thoughts - is when I’ve put down the base color, before I do any shading/highlights/big details, I pop a layer underneath the entire drawing and fill it with a high contrast color to the palette. That way any bits where I missed coloring in - or didn’t clean up outside the lines - becomes super noticeable, and I can fix it then instead of being a problem later. Maybe doing something like this before throwing the gene through the color automation process would’ve helped?
Last Note:
I feel like part of why these errors went unnoticed is because of how often, and sometimes how rushed, some of these updates have been - and this has been more noticeable in this year than otherwise. Is it because of community dissent with wanting more updates creating more crunch? Due to low-attention reticence creating a need for pushing more ad revenue / more “come to the site there’s new”?
I’m unsure, but it’s unfortunate nonetheless. I think staff, and FR as a whole, would benefit from like... hm. How to word this...
Maybe taking more time on updates / a more extended schedule so things aren’t as crunch (of course this being said, I don’t know what the workload is like so I can’t even say if crunch is applicable), and more open communication? Like how the dev streams were going - that was pretty well liked and everyone I know got pretty excited to see em and how the art was doing. It also opened up the avenue for more open communication / more nuanced opinions or thoughts.
---
But herein lies the huge issue, I think, with communication. This is the part where I’d like to reiterate, this is just my observations, and is not intended as an attack, a vaguepost, or deliberate callout at anybody. There’s no malicious intent here. This bit could also be construed as drama I suppose, and I apologize for that because again - not the intent. Just my take.
I’ve noticed posts going ‘no drama please’ or being tired when new updates come out of like, ‘oh boy here comes the negativity’ so I don’t think it’s just me who’s seen it, but have you guys noticed when anything new comes out, there’s an immediate rush of extreme salt and negativity?
And I don’t mean posts where its like “it’s not for me” or “I don’t like it but here’s [detailed/explained reason why]” - those are the nuanced opinions I mean. Those are fine. I mean the ones where people in forums, or on the more prolific drama blogs, are just.... mean/empty? Like “FUCK staff I hate how lazy they are with this it’s shitty looking” - that really vocal generally super salty in general minority of the community. Just hate without explanation, or just kind of aimless generalized attack/complaint.
I think that’s where communication with Staff fell off the bandwagon. The really loud, really vocal minority of folks who throw super salt or yell “This Sucks You Suck” completely overshadow the people who are well intentioned with sharing their opinions or problems/criticisms. The toxic bits and really vitriolic words are what gets seen and noticed. I think this is the majority of what gets heard, which is why communication got so closed off / shut down unless positive, in recent times. Do I agree with that? No, I don’t either - but I’m just looking at this from the outside. Idk how staff feels or thinks.
And this goes for both people who don’t like the content, and people that do.
Remember that the Keel thread got locked because someone who was white-knighting started getting real nasty with people in the thread, and going to extremes insulting artists who did mock-ups to help visualize their thoughts/opinions and was just being a real douche?
What I really wish was that we could have more open communication. Some of the things I really liked to see were like: Dev Streams, Community Updates/Q&A, Opinion Polls, That Update Progress on Breed/Gene Progress from a while back. All of that was excellent. And I like to see the community responding in well thought out ways! I like to see staff more hands on too! We’re only human and love this site and our dragons and want to see it at it’s best - but they’re also only human, and make mistakes, and we don’t know what’s goin on in there, just out here.
Trello is a really good way to kind of show that communication, and is transparent, but isn’t free-to-use for businesses, so... of course I also don’t know how Stormlight Workshop runs their business/hours so I’m just blowing hot smoke. But anyway, I think everyone would benefit from slowing down and opening up. If things are going slow, that’s okay - if Staff opens up to the community and says “This is taking longer than expected, but here’s upcoming releases / current in-progresses” I think we’d be like oh okay things are happening and it’ll be nice! As compared to everyone gets super antsy, nothing’s happening, no-one is talking... and then we get hit with a bunch of updates, some of which, like today’s, have... issues.
Of course then I worry that with more open talking or “we’re experiencing delays” the more vitriolic will get even angrier/saltier which doesn’t... help... but I mean... yeah. 
ANYWAY so I’ve written a full dissertation essay here without really intending to (see? I warned y’all! I ramble/don’t shut up ahahaha) so I’m gonna just stop myself here before I start going in circles. This last chunk I don’t really know what the meat of what I was trying to say was, now, I think. Sorry about that. It was just “here’s my stream of consciousness” apparently ^^;;;;
Have a good evening y’all! Thanks for listenin’ to my (rant?) if y’all made it this far. You’re appreciated and thank you for letting me bend your ears! Stay safe in this crazy world, hang in there, and have a good one!
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kny111 · 5 years
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I know I haven’t really updated on here. Fatherhood can be really tiring and time consuming as it is a blessing and will change who you are for the better, at least for me. I’ve been away from a lot of the subjects I used to normally post about until recently, that’s because I picked up the energy and interest for science journalism again. To say I went off to have a long waited talk with nature is to minimize greatly the kind of transformations I’ve undergone. The mysteries she’s shown me far greater than any cosmic unknown that I could have ever imagined of. I know a lot of the folks who used to follow this blog might be surprised to know that within that journey I’ve seen, experienced and have been in communion with some really influential spirits of old. Nature’s hidden variables. Whatever you want to call it. Something occurred when I decided to take more seriously the religions and spirituality of my ancestors. Something that only reinvigorated my love for science and the unknown, physics, art, and expression of these things for beneficial communal use. I’m from Quisqueya, the first testing grounds for colonialism and subsequently the evolution of neo-colonialism. Not too long after and we become one of the first pit stop for the trans-Atlantic slave trading markets to proliferate and spin the rest of the world off into the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy hell branch of a reality we know of today. Our little island has undergone so many transformations and inclusion of peoples, cultures, so many I only recently found out of like how Haitians took in Jewish refugees during the time of Hitler’s nazism. Because I still deal with mental health issues and depression being one I’ve had since childhood, I sometimes don’t have near enough energy to convey how have things been going since my last big update here. My spiritual and religious journey, finding comfort in myself and closure in ways I no longer adhere to. That said I found it beyond amazing how earlier today on October the 14th ‘Indigenous Peoples Day‘ I was drumming away to Tainx music without realizing what day today was without looking at my social media feeds yet. Here I was normally thinking I’m so tired, down and out of trying to keep these cultures alive and I was already doing so instinctively in the truest way I know how.
Like I mentioned, I decided to take more seriously my Afro-Indigenous roots and what it meant to be a Black Dominican Haitian Taino American. It took me on the wildest ride with the unlikeliest subject ranging from seeing quantum entanglement examples right before my eyes, seeing living breathing afrofuturism through my Vodun, Catholic, Christian roots and the functionality of Vodun to incorporate so many ancient parts of being Black into what intuitively led me down a road of self and outward knowledge on the cosmos around me. To then blend these epigenetically installed formulas of spirituality embededd in me by history and nature, incorporate them into my expression of art and self which is one has been like achieving a life long dream I didn’t even know I had. I did so much intuitive shit that was so clearly linked to my identity as an Afro-Indigenx American immigrant along the way that I had erected an altar without knowing it was an altar. I would section and compartmentalize this prototype altar so beautifully and had no clue I was paying respects to my ancestors and spirits of the world until more recently a few months back. When I realized this, it was like a Cambrian explosion occurred in me. I don’t want to get into the details of the abilities it brought out that I already had in me due to prying eyes (ahem surveillance capitalist patriarchy is still outchea at large) but to simply meditate and think on my folks has given me such a renewed and strengthened sense of intuition and appreciation for the past and future that I never knew existed. Sometimes I’ll legit write and prophesize shit out the ass like it’s a normal day it’s wild, shit I never believed in but the science seems to check out with quantum physics and what not. That’d be an explanation for another time. The altar has now evolved to a place I can really go to and express but at the same time it’s something I’ve learned to keep within my own self so that it’s not the altar that’s important, rather the changes I’ve gone through to get to such a place. I write, dream, visualize, laugh, act, improvise, predict based on science, meditate, heal, rehabilitate myself there. But conversely the world speaks to me there, the spirits of old, new, those to be. I know it sounds type wild but it’s gotten normal for me to experience something my old science nerd ass self woulda made fun of me for. But when you get into a connection with ya ancestors like I have and reach the conclusions and deductions I have on the systems that control the planet it gets clearer to see that the Indigenous were right all along on colonialism, it’s gotto go. There’s no place for it in the future if we’re to survive a planet seemingly becoming another Venus. I’d like to think we not gone be fighting each other while some catastrophe bop our asses one time like they did the dinos. That’s one of the main messages they keep tellin me and it’s hard to refute. I’ll try and continue this update on another day as there’s so much in between and concepts and ideas I wanna share about how to move forward on activism and using art to get our ideas about those movements across. The above images span from months, just small droplets of the cool ass journey I been on just trying to maintain some normalcy while playing my part in not helping oppressors of any kind continue proliferating their systems of domination and subjugation. So this first image is from the week not too long ago when I had 2 honey bees flying in and checking out the altar. Then I left an old jar of honey that still had some and they’d return and eat some for like a good week or so. At one point, this matrix-like moment happens when one of them goes into the jar and makes this cool sound I never heard before. The bee had gone in there before many times and never made that specific sound, it was like a lower frequency conch shell or something. When I checked the time it was like 1:23pm or 1:11pm one of those. I was like..... get Neo!! shit was so cool. This next image is really a culmination of my search to learn more about my Afro-Indigenousness which led me to learn more about my Haitianness and the spirituality and religion. From painting Papa Legba paintings before I even knew him, to giving respects to all types of 21 division spirits and Vodun loa before ever even knowing of them. It was as if each part of these religions was trying to show me how much of them was in me in how intuitively I’d gravitate towards these religions despite being still very devoted to science and scientific literacy worldwide. Idk it’s just been a really cool blending of a lot of things I never thought could come together. I found this moth around the time I was reading and thinking deeply on the creator entity in Vodun and some African religions, Gran Maitrex. I’ve always had an interest in creator stories and beings so  when this Golden Moth popped up in the altar (right on the mat I have laid in front of it, facing it, as if it came there to spend its last moments) I was like a little kid. To me it reminds me of those mysteries we’ve yet to discover that can help us in our path to heal ourselves and others if we chose to. The following two are from my walking meditating sessions by the river. They have slightly deeper stories to em about relaxation, overcoming obstacles, predictions I made that day about the sky that I wont get into on here cause it’s exhausting lol. The next image with the wooden branch I brought in from a forest walk is of one of the bees I spoke of flying around the Afro-Indigenx/ Ancient Egypt/ West Africa section of the altar. It did this several times enough for me to note that it liked that particular area. Following non repeating image is of the portrait I did a while back for the Heath Gallery in Harlem on Rein-visioning Brown and Black Bodies in Scifi: Story of 4 Tainx sisters calling for their descendants to help them from the demonic wrath of colonialism. This picture I took when I finally got to take my ass out to jog after a whole day of being a dad. I found a neat tree to try and climb at night and found this beautiful bright green grasshopper right by the branch I picked. Grasshoppers always remind me of giant leaps I could be taking forward. The following image I took during another forest walk when I looked up and saw this cool cross shape juxstapositioned among the trees. Last image I took during the Medieval festival they hold at Fort Tryon every year. It’s where I sold my awesome Medieval chicken paintings (which have now taken place at altar where I give em much love) last year dressed as Obi Wan Kenobi. This year I decided to just enjoy it with bae and did so dressed as Jedi Jesus posing as a Dominican Fryer. More pics on that to come. Just wanted to update yall on the spiritual in case anyone could use these words to benefit em. Yall take care. - Ken
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echoeternally · 4 years
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Tentative 2020 Schedule
Long post, head’s up.
I get asked a lot about stories going on hiatus, which they never really are, but I’m normally busy with a lot of things, and they’re not always priority for me on a daily basis. So, time slips past me, and it takes a while to upload.
Still, I know how it feels to be burned by fanfic writers (happened to me a lot as a kid, and I didn’t have blogs to follow when I was young for updates, lol). To try giving a vague/rough idea of how I think my posting patterns have settled, I’ll post a mini-schedule kind of thing here.
This year will be divided into quarters (Q#), and within those months, I’ll try updating one or two of my major fanfics. It’s subject to change, hopefully for more than less, hence the ‘tentative‘ bit.
But, it’s also possible that I might not fulfill these times, so, if a period of time goes by and nothing’s updated? Short version is that I suck, idk folks.
So, let’s see how this goes and if I’ll abide by this for the year. 
...
Q1 (January - March) 
Planned update for: Eternally Never Yours, Chapter 45
Q2 (April - June) 
Planned update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 27 Pushing update for: Eternally Never Yours, Chapter 46
Q3 (July - September) 
Planned update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 28 Planned update for: Eternally Never Yours, Chapter 47 Pushing update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 29
Q4 (October - December)
Pushing update for: Melting Gelid Roses, Chapter 30, planned finale 
...
Explanations below the cut. 
...
Ok, first is the planned vs pushing: ‘planned‘ means I’m going to work at doing those and try to get them done within that period, while ‘pushing‘ means I’m going to see if I’ve got the time during that period to pump out another.
Now, for the specifics on each.
...
Q1: I’m currently working on the next chapter of the Super Mario fanfic, Eternally Never Yours. This is a big chapter, because I’m writing up “guidelines” for magic and those that use it. Not only will this be something that I’m writing for this fanfic, but it might be something I look into when I’m writing in the future and original content, so I’m practicing on that.
On top of this, I need to refer backwards to how I’ve written certain characters, as they haven’t had major roles for 4 years. So, I’m trying to maintain continuity and make sure they still act the same as they did, while certainly expanding on their roles. Also, I’m addressing specific character dynamics, some which people have been excited for and criticized about.
My original plan was to get this out in January, but that’s unlikely to happen, so I’m hoping to have it ready by the end of March. Does that mean it will take until then to complete and post? Gracious, I certainly hope not. But, I’ve miscalculated by assuming the time I’d have for writing in the past, so I’m giving myself the appropriate cushion room to work within.
...
Q2: Up next will be the Pokémon fanfic, Melting Gelid Roses. This will be a continuation from the previous chapter, but also redefines roles for characters. Well, some redefining, others getting spotlights they’ve desperately needed, and several more continuing to be their best. Slight spoilers: it’s going to be a combat chapter. If you didn’t see that coming, there you go.
This is the beginning of the end for this fanfic, and I’m planning on moving onto the sequel after it wraps up this year. This chapter will be the last time I’ll be writing certain characters until the next story, so I need to make sure they’ve got their stage set. At least one minor character will be getting a boosted role in the next story, and it’s likely going to be more than one, and it’s not based only on the soldiers of the main kingdom. So, I’ve got important pivots to set up.
At the same time, since summer is coming and I’m praying that I’ll start getting more free time, I’m going to try my best to get an update for Eternally Never Yours out during this time as well. I’m not holding myself to that, so it’s possible that this update will be pushing back the other ones that follow. But, I want to try getting it out there. This one returns to the main romance of the story, and will hopefully be a resting chapter. After all, they’re coming back from the assault on Peach’s Castle, so, they’ll need to cool down.
If I’m keeping pace with my updates, these both should be out by June. If not, I’ll try to let readers know.
...
Q3: For whatever reason, I think my largest amount of free time exists somewhere between July and September. In my head, that doesn’t sound right, but I’m pretty sure my consistent updates tend to roll out during this time, on a yearly basis. I could be wrong, I’m not fact checking myself on that, so if I’m wildly off, whoops. Nevertheless, I’m planning heaviest around here.
There will be a period for two updates to the Pokémon fanfic. Again, I’m planning on having this one finally come to a close, and I’m pretty much scrounging up my best efforts to end it this year. No, that’s not a guarantee, but I’m really giving it a strong effort, because I do want it to be done before 2021. So, this is when I’m planning for the double update.
First chapter returns to the Empire for the war fallout, and shows where everyone is at following their recoveries and catching up. I’m hoping to properly capture the grieving process and melancholic nature that should be during this time, because hey, other characters died, and the main cast should be shaken by that. Hard. The follow-up chapter will shift the focus to characters that were also impacted by these events, and while they’re not normally main cast, they’re going to appear in the future, and need their time to adjust as well.
Finally, I’m also planning on including an update for the Super Mario fanfic in between those two chapters above. This one will be sending heroes back into their battles as well, and we’re going to finally address the seventh area, the Sky Kingdom. It’s going to be the next location for Peach, Luigi, and the others to fight back for. The boss there will be someone important, though, so...wonder how that’ll turn out for both sides.
Since this is a tentative schedule, stuff might get pushed back, and I’m piling hardest on here, so I can’t promise that it’ll work out. But, this gives us something to go by.
...
Q4: Hello to my absolute worst quarter of the year to update. The holiday season bogs me down without mercy each and every year. This is when I lie to myself and think, “I can probably do two updates, there are 3 months, I’ve got time for that.” Then reality ensues, and I realize, “No, I don’t have that kind of free time for myself.“ It’s possible that I might put nothing out after October or November, and by December? Forget it.
In spite of that, I’m going to do my best to make this the period for Melting Gelid Roses to finally reach its ending. Yes, that does break the balance of updates. Eternally Never Yours is not ending this year, however, I know that for a fact. So, it can take a little time to rest while the Pokémon fanfic wraps up. Like this year, I will probably start 2021 working on the Super Mario fanfic again.
As this is the final chapter of MGR, it basically settles affairs for the main cast and collects everyone back together. What does that mean? They’re repositioning for the third story. When’s that going to start? Hopefully next year. But as the year ends, so will MGR. There’s more to come after, but this will be the second book’s closing, and it will need some prep to get there.
There’s a plan that I’ve debating on following through with, which will involve audience participation. If I can get the third story’s titles brainstormed by this time, that will be included. But the main concept depends on how I want to proceed with select characters, if I want their stories to end with MGR as they are, or if they will do more. Should I decide on trying this, then I’m going to be asking readers to help me narrow those selections down from several to one or two only. This is meant to be a cryptic tease, so that’s all I’ll mention.
Again and again, this is my absolute worst update quarter. If I don’t get to this chapter here, or if I needed to push other updates back, then it’s spilling over to 2021. I don’t want to, but I’m not going to crush myself over updating strictly on time.
...
These are plans, and plans are malleable, they change. If I don’t abide by these, please don’t turn around with, “BuT EcHo YoU tOLd uS ThIs!” I’m human, life changes at the drop of a dime, this is free reading, things happen, and this is not a committed schedule. These are guidelines I’m hoping to follow, but I might end up tumbling off the path.
This is meant to give readers a place to refer to so they can check and see what my plans are. Months will go by, I won’t update. But, this can give a little comfort that I’ve got something in the works for this year at various intervals.
Please understand that I am trying, please understand that it’s a juggling act, and please understand that I have other, real world matters that will override priorities for these stories.
But please also feel free to continue interacting and asking questions beyond update periods. Sometimes the strongest way to help encourage me to persist is feedback, and interacting following chapters. If I’m in a period where I haven’t updated, feel free to mention what your favorite chapters, scenes, and characters were. Feel free to mention some hopes you have for the story; who knows, that might influence me.
Thank you all for your support so far. I’ll continue to try my best.
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bloodfcst-a · 5 years
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Hey, y’all. Tumblr’s been setting off my anxiety in the last few days, thus the reason I’ve been away. I’ll give you a full explanation under the cut for those who are interested (though I’d really appreciate it if you all read it anyway), and provide some contact information for places you can find me.
Discord: conjure. ☆#6443 Twitch: ninabeanxo Twitter: mishtadelet
I’ve been kind of quiet on Discord lately & I’m the most active on Twitter. I also announce when I’m streaming on Twitter, so... yeah. Sorry about this.
I want to be here. I really do. But there’s something about the summers on Tumblr that are really hard on me. I also think people’s attitudes change & idk why, but people seem to treat me pretty rudely? I try so hard to be approachable, to be kind and positive and supportive, but the amount that people try to take advantage of me or are just plain rude to me is?? So wild. So for those reasons, I’ve just kind of been isolating myself lately, and I may seem a little distant/less approachable/not talking much about myself because tbh... some of y’all are just haphazardly setting off my anxiety / panic attacks and I seriously can’t do it. I already have PTSD, so it’s a fucking nightmare lmao.
There is no gentle way of saying this, but it really needs to be stated. Please respect my triggers, or I will not talk to you. Please respect if I ask you not to mention something or someone to me.
and this is a really big one....
Please respect my boundaries.
If I have mentioned to you that I am not vibing with someone, do not send me media of them / that includes them, do not ask me about ships with them, do not tag me in posts of / with them, and please stop asking me about group verses / affiliated servers. In my time on tumblr, I’ve dealt with theft, bullying, emotional abuse, sexual harassment & solicitation. I’m constantly asking myself ‘ Why me? ’ but more than that, I’m really trying to avoid further situations from happening. I haven’t found an answer. I’m guessing it’s ‘cause I’m soft / nice? idk. Stop ruining a good thing. Y’all are gonna make me bitter, dang. 
When I made this blog, I was explicit that I do not want to be in mainstream FF fandom. When I promo this blog, I even say primarily fandomless & canon-divergent. There is way too much messiness in the fandom, extremely toxic people & tendencies there, and I just don’t like fandom discussion. Regardless of my reasons, the point is that I’m not interested, so please stop trying to entice me to go back. It’s so blatantly rude & shows you think your interests & wishes are more important than my comfort level, and I don’t appreciate that sentiment in the slightest.
That being said, I know Yufi reads differently. That’s why I put so much work into her metas. I even have two tags for all the content. At some point I’ll even have a less minimalistic blog & with more links so it’s super accessible ( in the off chances searching for the ‘  meta ’ and ‘ kisaragi ‘ tags don’t work ). But in the meantime... ask questions. Read. Join a stream. I’ve literally streamed games & movies for folks privately & occasionally stream now. I actually started a new file of VII not too long ago and just got Yuffie, so I could literally have a gameplay stream where we go through canon together. I’m like... nearly begging. Don’t make assumptions.
Again, there are so many resources. There’s wikis, there’s the tags, there’s the inbox ( just ask! ), there’s streams, there’s gameplay & commentary videos, there’s stuff. If you are confused or unsure, I would much rather you reach out. This is regardless of how long I’ve known you, ‘cause some of us have known me for a while and still don’t know anything about me or my portrayal or how to interact, in- or out-of-character.
On the topic of assumptions (because it really is that important, so many issues stem from assumptions & you continuously making the wrong assumptions will leave me less inclined to speak with you, nevermind interact), let’s address some.
I do not write a hyper-sexualized muse. I know this is fanon because of her choice in clothes... however, clothes are a fashion choice, and do not reflect a person’s... existence? I don’t know if it’s the masculinity or the rape culture or what but... what she’s wearing does not mean she deserves any hypersexual treatment... and also as an extension, myself ( bc this happens way too frequently-- please stop seeing my muse and then approaching me about your personal sexual fantasies. It is extremely uncomfortable, as someone who is sex-neutral & demiromantic, to be randomly selected to talk about sex? with me personally? via my muse? Or about my muse when we have zero chemistry? Why do y’all think this is okay??). When I do choose to write sexual / nsfw content, it’s always after conversations ( plural!! ) with my writing partner & after I feel comfortable with the topic and with them. But even if I had her hoein’ it up on the dash, that doesn’t mean to make assumptions about her character (bc maybe there’s character motivations I need to write a meta for & it’s part of her background) or me (the mun is not the muse!! say it with me!!).
I do not write a kleptomanic. Again, this is entirely fanon, because Yuffie says in literally everything she’s mentioned in that she does not steal without a purpose-- and the highest purpose is that she’s stealing items that would restore the power and glory of Wutai or for her personal safety. However, I very rarely write theft... I try really hard to steer clear of the topic because I’m aware that it’s like the #1 thing she’s reduced to. She’s a thief class, yes, but that is not the only dimension to her. I could go on, but I think that’s enough.
Just because our characters share canon does not mean they’re going to have chemistry. I am canon-divergent. But not only that... Yuffie just doesn’t vibe with most people as a canon fact. She is an outsider to like... 99% of people, exclusion being Godo ( Wutai ) & the Turks & the WRO. She doesn’t even claim herself as a member of AVALANCHE. Not only this, but the dynamic she has with one Reeve or Cloud does not represent every duplicate-- that comes with plotting and with chemistry. We will have to plot & work together to figure out exactly how our versions of characters mesh. This is a collaborative hobby.... so the collaborating shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. 
If you come guns-a-blazin’ without clearly having read anything about my portrayal, with completely inaccurate characterizations & just assume because we’re friendly out-of-character I’m gonna be pleased with it.... you’re dead wrong. I’m actually just... a very kind and nice person. I may just gently offer you some suggestions or corrections. But if you repeatedly come with your assumptions &  pre-conceived notions and it’s clear you’re not paying literally any attention to me or my ideas about my portrayal...  I’ll probably just recommend you to another duplicate. I know one who stole a ton of my content & former friends, so you’ll be in good hands. 
If you’re here, I assume that you want to write with me, not the idea of me. I’m a person with feelings & interests too, y’know ?? I feel like somehow that’s easy to forget with me for some reason, given how often people feel inclined to overstep my boundaries & act so disrespectful to me. Which is... fucking wild, honestly !! I’ve even had a person deadass say to my face “ I didn’t think/know you’d want to be treated with appreciation and respect. ” What the actual fuck does that mean? What kind of dominant abuser mentality ??????? Y’all on this site stress me out!!
The last two weeks have been legit stupid stressful on me, and I’ve had some interpersonal changes with folks in the last month (mainly in private) all regarding these subjects. About people here feeling entitled to be rude to me & finding all sorts of justifications for it (I’ve heard everything from “my grandma was sick” to “work’s hard”-- what’s that gotta do with you curb stomping me & my ideas/feelings, and telling me my emotions aren’t relevant in comparison to yours? It doesn’t). And it’s just been weighing down on me a lot. I don’t usually go on main here to discuss issues like this, but because it’s been OVERWHELMING in the last few weeks (and also, bc being nice to everyone is kinda common sense ? and idk why folks here seem to think I’m excluded from the ‘everyone’???), it just seemed like now, while I’m isolating a bit in an attempt to focus on some self-healing, would be a great time to discuss things.
I know this was a long post... but there’s been a lot of injustices done to me on here & in life, so....... if it burdens you to read all this, imagine how shitty it feels to have to experience it. Yeah. It’s rough, pals.
I don’t know how to really end this post godhsaohof. I’m hoping this will kind of open someone’s eyes & like... maybe things will change. I’ve stated before, but I have chronic illness so I really can’t handle stress or, for lack of a better term, a lot of bullshit tbh. If you wouldn’t say it to someone with a dying illness or cancer or a soft sweet grandma, don’t say it to me. Because that’s literally me! I’ve got an illness I’m dying from & I’ve had cancer & I’m soft and sweet! tl;dr, stop being so mean to me dang. I didn’t do anything to deserve this.
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soldrawss · 5 years
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Don't read unless you have watched the new episode. But the whole time I watched it I was thinking how it pretty wild that your comic and the episode are basically the same.
 OK I HAVE FINALLY WATCHED THE EPISODE AND BOY WHOO HOO HOWDY I’M GONNA INCLUDE MY THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I KNOW A FEW OTHERS HAVE YET TO SEE IT AS WELL AND I DON’T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING BUT WHOO LETS GO BABES
SO first off I’m just gonna say that I LOVED the episode. Really and truly honestly I did.  I don’t think there were any major things that I didn’t like tbh. It was such a truthfully wholesome episode. And I’m actually happy with the amount of screen time we got with Scrooge and his insight with Christmas. 
HOWEVER. I wish it was a 45-minute special. Because I think we could have absolutely dived MUCH deeper into the relationship between 1) Younger Donald and Dewey and 2) (the most important) DONALD AND DELLA. I mean like HOLY SHIT. I have to collect my thoughts together really quick cause I’m gonna explode just going on about the sibling relationship going on there so let me backtrack really quick and start from the beginning.
First and foremost. The set up to the episode was great. The kids getting ready for Christmas. Webby’s little hug to Huey and Huey’s patient little smile back to her. Louie’s X-mas list and his “let me explain”, like yes my son, own it. Donald being his best dad self, decorating and STILL playing guitar and singing awful carols at the top of his lungs like, we stan a good good duck dad!!! Literally, everyone is top notch just being great! 
Then we get to plot. The ghosts are back in town. And they’re ready to get down and dirty and party and I LIVE for the idea that they were originally looking for a different Scrooge and that OUR Scrooge actually LOVES Christmas (And I’m so glad that we still don’t know why Scrooge has beef with Santa cause like, that’s potential for future X-Mas episodes and I’m all about having more mysteries to look forward to alright?) So we get it. Party on Scrooge lets go back in time!!!
So we’re 12 minutes in, more Scrooge stuff happens (Which I adore. Love that they brought back Goldy. Love that Young Scrooge is so passive about seeing Old Scrooge. LOVE that BEAKLY fucking FLIRTS with the GRIM REAPER SKJD;S GET IT GIRL LOVE THAT) And super double plot twist is that little jimmy cricket over here is actually like, kinda evil? Well not evil, but he’s a little-twisted buddy, which isn’t his fault, but he just wants to party and feels like everyone abandons him when once they find the true meaning of Christmas (being with family) Which Scrooge does. Which also, can we appreciate how fast it takes for Scrooge to be like, yeah I’m bored of this adventure stuff, can I just go home to my family now? It may have just been the episode time frame but IDK man, I feel like he’s growing from once being bitter to becoming that good old family man again. Good, good old man, I love him. 
ANYWAY- NOW LETS GET DOWN TO THE JUICY HALF OF THE EPISODE AND THE HALF THE EVERYONE WANTS MORE OF INCLUDING MYSELF
OK So here we see Dewey hitch a ride on grims cloak and fall into let’s say around 25+ years in the past. The FIRST thing I noticed and the first shot we get is a mere parallel to the one we see when Scrooge first falls in the past. Its a shot of the mansion. But as opposed to the shot where Scrooge falls during a Christmas where his mansion is LIT the fuck up with lights and sounds and color and LIFE, Dewey sees it dark and practically dead, but still recognizably the Mc’Duck Mansion. One of the next shots we see takes place inside, and we see the mansion (remember this duck is a billionaire) with the wallpaper peeling and the walls cracking and hardly lit and it looks absolutely deserted and kinda uncared for which BREAKS MY HEART OK!!! 
(But I’m so glad I at least got the scene right where Dewey’s first interaction with Donald is through his music and that Dewey could guess it was Donald through his Voice™!!! Also, should have thought of Bluey. That was SO much better than Deuteronomy. But oh well! Got the fake family part right! And the fact that Donald knew she was out back looking fo Santa and was trying to catch Santa for Scrooge. That last part wasn’t in the comic, but that was going to be the original idea for part 4 and FUCK YEAH I WAS ON A ROLL)
And ohhhh when Donald says this is the most confusing family! Ouufff that hit me so hard!!! Cause like, honestly, in canon, Donald is SO proud of his heritage and family line. He’s the only Disney character to really even HAVE a family tree, are you kidding me?
Also Dewey just Yeeting himself out a window with Donald’s guitar as Leverage was such a good idea I wish I would have thought of it and I’m SO ANGRY that I didn’t but I guess if I had then technically I would have been a mind reader or actually stealing from the show so good job me for NOT doing that but I at least got them Escaping out the window part down so WOOP FOR that!
ALSO DONALD JUST STRAIGHT UP LICKING THE TREE! WONDERFUL GOOD BOY AND LIKE!!! AND LIKE!!! OK I kinda played around with the idea that Donald kinda just does stuff without explanation and when someone asks we gives off these weird oneliners that don’t really answer the question of WHY he did/was doing the thing in the first place is something I absolutely live for and both his interactions within my comic and in the show are so parallel with one another that I’m actually mind freaked right now I want to scream I fucking love these kids ok?!?!?
So I could probably live for the next 30 years off of just Dewey and Donald just talking to each other like, it was probably only 40 seconds of conversation, but I lived for every second like it was the only thing that mattered!!! Just Dewey being so Hecking Excited to learn more about Della from someone willing to talk to him without any trauma™ and I LOVED how Donald never outrightly admitted that Della wasn’t Amazing or Awesome (Dewey said it at least twice when referring to Della) and just changed the subject. Like, true sibling love. (I would have also accepted if he had called her a nerd or a geek or something similar because they are siblings after all, like jeezus the whole episode was mostly about their fight like, anything is great, give me them sibling dynamics)
OK AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
DELLA MY SWEET BABY GIRL APPEARS AND SHE IS MY EVERYTHING
OK honestly I was gonna draw her with a bit more messy hair but OTHERWISE SHE’S PERFECT. AND HER’S AND DONALDS IMMEDIATE BICKERING IS MY FAVORITE EVER. (And tbh her reaction to them NOT being Santa clause and honestly that entire net scene was also gonna be my reaction so don’t be surprised when you see that in upcoming continuation of my comic) (Also her calling Dewey a Dummy, is ACE)
So their whole fight scene going on. The whole Dumbella incident. You can just FEEL the sibling energy off of it. I ate that shit up SO FAST. I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. (I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF THAT STUFF PLEASE DT CREW GIVE US A FLASHBACK EPISODE OF THE COUSINS I NEEEEEEED IT) If you’ve ever had a sibling then you KNOW. You know that look when Della got when Donald called her Dumbella. The No, not until you apologize she gave back. The FOR WHAT?? The endless back and forth that would have continued onward for a LONG time if they weren’t in impending doom. Man that’s the shit right there. That’s really all I wanted I could have had a full 45 minutes of just THAT right there. Just these kids being siblings.
(Also, Donald outing himself about the toothbrush and combat boots, he’s so gonna pay for that later I can feel it in my bones and I live for these moments kids)
AND THEN WE GET THE FIRST HEARTBREAKER OF THE NIGHT FOLKS, when Dewey figures out why Della’s so peeved at Donald (rightfully so) and it’s just!!! It’s just so good that all Della really wanted was to spend time with Donald and make a memory of it and catch Santa together and folks I would be lying to you and to God and to our Lord and savior Carl Barks if I said that I didn’t cry, these siblings are so good. (And the fact that Dewey also made a quick connection to himself, like, ohhh yeah I need to also be better and apologize to MY family and give MY Donald a hug when I get home)
NOW SHIT GETS REAL!!! The way Donald and Della land after getting free from the net. These kids were BORN for adventuring. This isn’t their first rodeo and this is what I want to see more of!!! Donald and Della as the fighting duo!!! (Dewey totally face planted my smol blue bean I love you) Della gets into fighting position ready to go, and Donald flips his hair back outta the way like so cool and nonchalantly LIKE DREAM TEAM SO COOL I LOVE THEEEEEMMMM!!! aND THEN when they find out the Wendigo is after Scrooge, They’re all like, “of, yeah, duh, Its always scrooge,” and then IMMEDIATELY GO AFTER HIM IN PERFECT FIGHTING SYNC LIKE THESE ARE 10-YEAR-OLDS AND THEY FIGHT LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING ON SCROOGE’S BEHALF FOR YEARS AND IM!!! (there’s so much fanfic potential here i’m screaming) And Dewey’s kinda just standing back like, Woah nelly, CAUSE LOOK AT THESE DUCK CHILDREN GO!!! LOOK AT MY LITTLE FIGHTING REBEL KIDS I ;KLD’KLASJ’F I LOVE THEM!!!
(Also, shout out to the last episode, in which we see that Donald kept the broken guitar under hammock all those years, he never could manage to through the thing away, i love this temperamental kid so much guys i’m crying again) But I’m glad we got to see Wee angry Donald!!! That was a fun thing I’m glad they put that in!!!
And now for the final! I’M glad Donald apologized rightly and straight away and wholeheartedly! That’s the good boy I know and Love! And Dewey going in for the hug!!! So sweet!!! But also!!! Della like, immediately figuring out that Dewey was from the future, I kinda like that! I wasn’t going to do it, but I like it! Love how smart she is and just how nonchalant they both are about it cause hey, have you MET their family? I like how they say Ducks, too. Not Mc’Ducks. Like, Scrooge is Weird and they do all sorts of crazy stuff with him, but you haven’t SEEN crazy till you’ve met the hick side of the family.
And then it’s like, just like that, they’re gone! And ouufff boy that was not the goodbye I was expecting but sometimes goodbyes are like that and that’s ok and I respect the out the DT crew took cause it flowed so nicely and well but boy did it hurt. (Can you imagine Donald and Della coming back with THEN Scrooge with this whole explanation to find nothing there and Scrooge being like???? Ack you kids leave me alone I hate Christmas as it is I don’t need you all playing tricks on me with fake Wendigos and family members from the futures when I have important things to do bah humbug or something and Donald and Della just have to live with this knowledge but at least they have each other and are closer for the better!!!) Because then Scrooge was there and THEN DEWEY WAS CRYING AND THERE’S JUST SO MANY EMOTIONS CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE EMOTIONS THIS KID IS GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW AND HE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME AND SEE HIS UNCLE DONALD AND BROTHERS AND WEBBY AND JUST BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS AND ACK.
AND GOSH WAS THE DONALD DEWEY HUG JUST SO GOOD AS WELL AS THE DOGPILE LITERALLY GIVE ME ALL THE HUGS, I WANT THEM ALL THIS IS SUCH A WHOLE GOOD EPISODE!!! All in all, 10/10 Was very good. Could I have loved more of just about EVERYTHING? yes, but I can make my own content if I need to fulfill my wishes. Overall, there was nothing that disappointed me, which was so good. I wasn’t let down by the interpretations of the characters, the morals, or how the storyline went. Could we have made it into a 45-minute episode and just like, extended every conversation? Yes. But plot? Solid. Characters? Solid. Relations? Super solid. Did Sol cry? She did and she will again cause she just loves these good characters so hecking much!!! Donald is my all time favorite Disney character on the planet and just the fact that he gets so much love and attention and just all the beautiful backstory and rick history is such a beautiful gift that just keeps on giving! 
Also, FULL Disclosure, Im gonna continue part 3, 4 and 5 of my version of how I thought this episode was gonna go. Simply because, well, I liked it. And I think you all will like it to.  
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