#includes: spell chatter

[khajiit-journal]

Fredas, First Seed 28, 2025

🗓️ | Friday, March 28, 2025 🌦️ | warm & clear and windy 🌙 | waning crescent 🎊 | no holiday

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no dream remembered

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Today I've been being productive, I'm holding myself to at least 30 minutes of Book of Shadows work. What I do will probably be different day to day, but I want to get stuff done. Today I assigned more Citadel significators to various spirit guides, namely the Touhous today, but I'm nooooowhere near done with that.

I also want to get back into daily automatic writing with a random spirit guide, as decided by pulling a card to tell who is present while also letting there be some randomness of which present one gets selected.

I do need to get back into my daily personal journaling as well... that's a habit I need to break myself back into. I'll do my best. I just got so tired of doing it.

I queued a lot of art of Zacian (and some of Zamazenta) for my Pokémon blog. I worked with Zacian lately, so I decided to do that as a devotional.

I talked a lot with Lucifer today as well, we just hung out for the most part. They're worried about me about the haunting, and is just observing. I know others are also watching, but they're purposefully watching from hidden places and I don't know where those hidden places are.

I want to do a spell tomorrow for the eclipse in Aries, but was advised against my plan on doing a baneful spell against the haunting spirits by Lucifer, who thinks I'll only end up pissing them off and making them lash out even more against me. Which... is a good point. But I don't know what else to do for the eclipse, so! I'll have to figure something else out by tomorrow or just skip the spellwork day.

Not much else to say today... not much has happened. It's been a chill day, which is always a blessing.

[springagainafter]

Tevinter Nights is a fun read so far! Minus...like everything going on in The Horror of Hormak, which is really creepy.

Lots of fun "oh hey, it's a character I recognize!" moments.

I had forgotten that Philliam, a Bard! was a Trevelyan and laughed out loud when his full name came up.

[zillychu]

designs for a zine piece! enjoy some background story my illustration never needed under the read more (fair warning I did NOT edit this at all):

newbie mage apprentices Sam and Tucker who became friends bc they're kinda… the ones at the bottom of their class and struggle the most, for different reasons. they become besties over time and practice together!

except one night, something goes terribly wrong. they spent the last few nights preparing for a project, a bigger spell that needs an intricate circle with precise measurements to work. but when they try to activate it, well… 

oops. they summoned a demon.

which is, for one, extremely illegal. only certified demonologists are allowed to summon demons because they're so dangerous. anything less than a perfect binding circle and thoroughly researched info on the demon, including their true name, is even remotely safe.

but, weirdly enough… the demon seems just as surprised as they are. as Sam and Tuck frantically try to figure out how to dispel the demon, they realize–oh god, did their circle actually sufficiently bind the demon? it can't leave. they watch the demon tentatively poke it's claws into the air around the boundary, and watch it fizzle, retreating back with a strained hiss.

okay. okay, they can do this. without death looming over their heads, they can figure out how to send the demon back. it's cool, it's fine. except while they leaf through their books, they notice the demon watching them. it looks kind of… curious. timid. interested in what they're doing. it catches them noticing his staring, and it. apologizes? it seems flustered?

weird, okay. they keep looking, and the demon starts talking. at first, little comments to itself. mumbles that soon get just loud enough to hear. little “ooh, is that a telescope?" and “is that what fire looks like up here?" and “that must be for making charcoal…”

Sam is the one brave enough to be like "are all demons as chatty as you??” and the demon gets flustered again, apologizing. says he's just never been topside before, he's only read about humans in tomes. oh wow is that the moon outside? it really IS blue up here! is it always blue? what are you doing up? I thought humans slept at night?

Sam and Tuck can't help getting pulled in with the demon's genuine curiosity. they're wary though, since they know demons can be clever, conniving. there's a number of ways a demon can get the upper hand on a summoner who has them bound. if he gets their full names, gets them to smudge and break the circle… there could also be ways they aren't aware of. so they consider their words carefully, but engage in some chatter while they research.

it's almost morning by the time they find a way to send the demon back–but as they prepare the spell, the demon says WAIT WAIT and they stop, uncertain. the demon starts stammering out how this is weird but like… he really had fun tonight. he doesn't get to just hang out much, especially with anyone his age.

Tuck is like “how do you know our ages??" and the demon points out "oh, you said something about Paulie’s 18th birthday party, so I thought…” and they're both like oh shit we didn't even notice we did that?

“Paulina" Sam corrects in her dumbfounded stupor. 

“Right, Paulina!" the demon snaps his fingers, but quickly loses his confidence when Sam and Tuck continue to stare at him like they're not sure what's going on. he coughs and fidgets and says “um, well, I was just wondering, I guess… if you wanted to summon me another time, I wouldn't mind. you see those circles there? yeah, that's what summoned me. the candles helped too I think. oh, it doesn't need all those runes though, probably don't want to redraw all those.”

Sam and Tuck are practically gawking, but… for some reason, this demon looks so sincere. so much like them, awkward and lonely and genuinely curious.

it's a bad idea. a terrible one, even. the demon probably noticed they're newbies and not demonologists. it could be hoping they make an error in their circle, or mess up a candle, or reveal their names on accident. 

But, well. They're stupid. they're also eager for anything to help them in school, and too empathetic for their own good. they send the demon off with a yeah, no. they then think about it for a week, and end up summoning the demon against their better judgment.

the demon is shocked and so happy, they can't help but be a little endeared. they lay down some ground rules, take care to be as safe as possible… and soon, this demon that introduces himself as “Phantom" becomes a nightly visitor. they talk about their worlds, find out they share a lot of common interests, and help each other in their studies. which, hello, demons also study? bro are you serious??

they play games, laugh till their ribs hurt, and open up to each other on a far deeper level than anyone expected. over time, Phantom becomes a true friend.

Sam and Tuck quietly begin to lament the fact Phantom is stuck in that damn circle. they want to take him places, let him see the human world he seems so interested in. they want to paint his stupid claws and noogie him between his dumb horns and hug him.

but it's an astronomical risk. it's legal for a demonologist with a proper permit, but it's still considered a grave taboo to grant access to a demon outside a circle. there's just too much at risk. demons can be dangerous enough to lay waste to entire towns, take multiple teams of military-rank mages to take down.

they wouldn't risk it… if they hadn't snuck into the library’s restricted section and copy a page from a demonologist book that gives them good framework for a contract. they make some edits to it though, giving Phantom at least a little wiggle room to protect himself if need be. and allow him use of transformation magic so he can hide somehow. but they spend weeks making sure they have airtight wording to ensure Phantom can't cause anyone or anything any substantial harm. 

when they finally bring the contract to Phantom, he's stunned. he cries. nothing needs to be said, they all know the gravity of their proposal. even if they ask for proof of Phantom's trust in turn, first. they ask for his full name, so they can bind him. just temporarily. but in that moment, they'll have full control over him. they could instead tell Phantom to serve them, force him to obey their every order. even if it's just for a moment, giving them his full name with the proper circle and incantation, is putting his life in their hands. 

Phantom, with tears still in his eyes, smiles warmly and nods. with only a breath to steel himself, he gives them his full name. Daniel James Fenton.

magic sparks in the circle, and Sam and Tuck finish the incantation. ethereal chains sprout up to wrap around Phantom's arms and legs, which makes him jump–but the unwavering trust in his eyes makes the two humans choke up.

they release the binding. all that's left is to break the containment barrier in the circle, so Phantom can walk free.

“Uh, about that…” Phantom laughs sheepishly… then proceeds to step outside of the circle, merely wincing when the barrier zaps around him.

Sam and Tucker gawk. Phantom scratches his neck. “Y-yeah, so… your barrier circle was already broken that first night. It's, uh… right over there. You missed a spot.”

abject horror overcomes them because this entire time Phantom's been visiting, he could have broken out? EASILY?? THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD.

Tucker falls to his knees, but soon starts to laugh. it's kind of hysterical at first but slowly, he and Sam are genuinely laughing. they're so STUPID, and Phantom is the most un-demonlike demon they've ever HEARD of. Phantom is still flustered, stammering out apologies because he wasn't trying to deceive them or anything! he just didn't want to scare them! without a proper containment circle they technically couldn't send him back either, so he just… went back using his own magic each time they “dispelled" him. 

once they've calmed down, Phantom morphs his body into a human form–which shock Sam and Tuck, because uh, only elite demons are capable of that. they were expecting an animal, or straight up going invisible. Phantom laughs it off, says he just, spent a lot of time practicing bc he's so interested in the human world (not a lie, but). he proceeds to adopt the nickname Danny, and they all have FUN WONDERFUL SHENANIGANS

(and sometime in the near future, when faced with something truly threatening he needs to protect them from, Danny reveals that. well. their contract also had some holes in it. and he's had access to his full demon power this whole time. whoopsie! it's a good thing he genuinely loves them and doesn't want to hurt anyone, or their asses would be SO dead lol)

they're about as normal about his full demon form as you'd expect from me btw:

[httpvomitello]

Carrying More Than Your Love *⁠.⁠✧

sirius black x f!reader

Summary: Life with Sirius takes a new turn when you discover you’re pregnant.

(part 1)

The sun was warm, streaming through the sitting room window onto the tea set you had so carefully arranged. The cottage smelled of freshly brewed Earl Grey, and the table was adorned with mismatched cups, biscuits, and a small bouquet of wildflowers. You had spent the morning preparing, wanting everything to feel perfect—not just for the tea party, but for the moment you planned to finally tell Sirius the news.

He had no idea you were pregnant yet, and as nervous as you were to share it with him, you’d thought including your closest friends—James, Lily, and Remus—might soften the blow and make the moment more joyful.

"You’ve been fussing all morning, love," Sirius teased as he sauntered into the room, eyeing the setup. "What’s the occasion? Planning a wedding without telling me?"

"Don’t be ridiculous," you said, shooing him toward the door. "Everyone will be here soon. Go make yourself presentable, Sirius Black. You’ve got biscuit crumbs on your shirt."

He raised an eyebrow but smirked, heading toward the bedroom with a lazy wave of his hand.

When everyone arrived, the cottage filled with the familiar warmth of laughter and chatter. Sirius and James were already deep in a Quidditch debate while Lily and Remus sipped their tea, both throwing amused looks at their bickering friends. You sat quietly, your hands nervously twisting the hem of your dress as you tried to find the right moment to break the news.

Lily noticed your unease first, leaning over to whisper, "Are you alright, love? You’ve been awfully quiet."

You nodded, offering a tight smile. "Just... nervous, I suppose."

Before she could press further, Remus set his cup down and tilted his head, his gaze sharpening as he looked at you.

Then, out of nowhere, he smiled.

"Congratulations," he said warmly, his voice cutting through the room like a spell.

You froze, panic flooding you as all eyes turned to him.

"Congratulations for what?" Sirius asked, his grin faltering as he looked between you and Remus.

"For the baby," Remus said, his smile widening. He turned to Sirius, clapping him on the back. "I never thought you would be the first of us to be a father, mate."

The room went completely silent.

"What?" Sirius asked, his voice cracking slightly. His wide gray eyes snapped to yours, his expression a mix of confusion and shock.

You opened your mouth to explain, but before you could get a word out, Sirius’s face went pale.

"Oh, bloody hell," he muttered, swaying on his feet.

"Sirius?" James said, concern lacing his tone.

But before anyone could stop him, Sirius’s knees buckled, and he crumpled to the floor in a heap.

"Sirius!" you cried, jumping to your feet as James and Remus rushed to his side.

"Merlin’s beard," James said, kneeling next to his best friend and shaking his shoulder. "Sirius, wake up! Don’t tell me you fainted like some Victorian damsel."

"James, for goodness’ sake," Lily scolded, though she was clearly trying not to laugh as she crouched beside you.

After a few tense seconds, Sirius groaned, his eyes fluttering open. He looked up at the circle of worried faces, his gaze finally landing on you.

"You’re pregnant?" he croaked, his voice hoarse.

You nodded, biting your lip as tears welled in your eyes. "I am. I was trying to find the right moment to tell you..."

He sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, that explains why my legs stopped working," he muttered, giving a weak laugh.

James burst into laughter, clapping Sirius on the back hard enough to nearly knock him over again. "You fainted, mate! Absolutely priceless. I’m never letting you live this down."

"James," Lily hissed, but even she was smiling.

Sirius ignored them, his focus entirely on you. He stood shakily, brushing off James and Remus’s attempts to steady him, and crossed the room to take your hands in his.

"You’re having my baby?" he asked again, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

"I am," you said softly, tears slipping down your cheeks.

For a moment, he just stared at you, his gray eyes shimmering with unspoken emotion. Then, without warning, he let out a laugh—loud, joyful, and utterly Sirius.

"You’re amazing," he said, pulling you into his arms. He held you tightly, his lips pressing against your temple as he whispered, "And I’m going to be the best dad this little one could ever ask for. I swear it."

From behind you, James quipped, "Better start practicing, mate. Step one: work on not fainting."

"Shut it, Potter," Sirius shot back, though his grin never wavered.

[pearly-necklace]

laios desprate humping reader ?? turns full sex ???

Surprise surprise!! I finished cooking it up!

This is a Laios x Gn!Reader(so far),Makeout, Dry humping.

It is more of a part one. I don't have a beta reader so this is pretty much raw besides spell check on word. I appreciate any feedback or critiques (pls be respectful). I am especially curious about my paragraph formatting let me know!

Btw cross posted on AO3

Enjoy!

You have been adventuring with the Touden party for a few weeks now, not even asking twice when what seemed like an angel descending from heaven asked you to help him find his sister. He had found you in a tavern in the town outside the dungeon sipping away your sorrows from being left by your previous party. What you did not know was how quickly you would get hired by another one. The Touden party was certainly unlike any party you had been a part of until then, a tall-man same as yourself, an elf, and a halfling. Eventually you also meet a Dwarf, Senshi, who also joins the group. Cooking monsters was certainly never an option you undertook but you were not a fussy eater, and Senshi was a good cook. Beyond the first few meals at which you hesitated, you simply grew used to them.  

Many floors deep, your boots tapped and echoed against the paved dungeon floors and walls as you walked with your group. A cacophony of soft noises from steps to the blunt noise of Marcille’s stick hitting the ground, to the various pans and trinkets hanging off your bags clunking to one another. The day had been long despite not being able to see the sun and it was about time to call a break and allow everyone to sleep and rest. Laios, who found himself often leading the group, stopped at a closed door where you found a safe spot to rest for the night. You filled your water pouch as did you party members before settling down for mealtime. Everyone pitched in to prep, and for dinner you had Basilisk egg and mandrake root omelets served with a side of leftover mandrake leaves, they were much better than you had expected.  

The group had developed a habit of doing guard rotations for more security, so after the meal and clean up, you and Laios, as per the rotation, hung back from the group preparing to fall asleep. Marcille was doing up her hair in a protective style, while Senshi cleaned his tools, and Chilchuck fixed up his pallet. You hung back the door leaned against the wall across from Laios who was already on sat, looking up at you. He was such a cryptic, if not the most cryptic individual in this party, he always seemed to share too much, talk too much, seem a bit too upfront to you. It would have been normal for you to not be spoken to very much at the beginning since you were an outsider, but he was quick to get close to you, with almost always a new monster or dungeon fact every time you saw a new specimen existing about. Asking you how you were doing, asking for your thoughts on the food, including you in all conversations. You appreciated it, being a newbie was not always easy, but he made the process smoother for you.  

But Laios had his moments too, and you caught him one too many times staring at you, sometimes with a hand on his sword, sometimes with such deep intent in his eyes, it ran a shiver down your spine but you were not sure if you should feel as turned on as you had. It was getting distracting. Of course, upon getting caught he would always look away and a pink tinge would color his ears. This did not stop friendly chatter between you too if you avoided mentioning it and ignored how he always kept his legs suspiciously closer, as if self-conscious. You tried not thinking about it for the sake of the party.  

This night was no different, you talked for a while about the day, reflecting on your experiences and noting what new creatures you may have seen while the other prepared for bed but as soon as Marcille’s soft snores reached your ears your whispers slowed down to comfortable silence feeling as exhaustion weighed down on your shoulders. You sat perpendicular to how he did against the door with only the light of a small torch keeping the left side of Laios’ face visible. In the quiet night you could not take your eyes off him either. This pale skin almost glowing under the fire, slight eye bags and discoloration under his eyes indicative of the circulation running beneath and his sleep deprived state, his slightly chapped lips which he did not seem able to stop chewing at, his slightly rosy cheeks, his hazel-colored eyes staring back at yours, glinting slightly. Startled, you looked away, down to his body. Having discarded his armor, you saw the rise and fall of his chest, his slightly opened shirt allowed for his collarbone to show through and beneath the top of his pectorals. Your eyes slid down further his body, he gulped and recoiled slightly but you felt it was payback for how he had been acting towards you. It was not like the view was anything to shrug at anyway. Although when you reached his groin, you felt the heat grow to your cheeks and you looked away back up to his face to find him mirroring your surprised and embarrassed expression. He was hard, painfully so.  

Much to your surprise, instead of staying put and waiting for the tension to awkwardly go away he crawled closer towards you. His expression twisting, with his eyebrows shooting up and his lips forming into a slight pout. “Laios” You whispered in surprise he echoed your name “Do you want to…?” he whispered a hint of desperation in his voice.  

After a brief silence to internalize his request, a small smirk stretched on your lips as you replied smugly “want what?” to which he sighed deeply as he looked away, his cheeks and ears blushing clearly. You chuckled softly before cradling his face with one hand, noting the warmth of his hand in contrast to your cold one that had been resting against the smooth paved floor. You brought him closer, and he had no trouble following along. The puzzle pieces all fell into place as your lips crashed. His lips slotted perfectly against yours like he had been practicing for it. Barely a few pecks in that he felt he should lick against your lower lip with a soft hum. You gave him access but just as you felt his hands start to roam your upper body you stopped him pushing him away firmly by the shoulders.  

“w-wha..” I mumbled as he looked at you with surprised eyes wondering if he had done something wrong barely a few minutes in. “Let’s go elsewhere” you whisper with your thumb running across his lower lip, hyper aware of your fellow party-mates and Chilchucks's sharp senses. Without hesitation he got up and opened the door and led you to the room next door which luckily sat empty as well with a few torches keeping it bright. He shut the door and pressed you against the wall, his presence suddenly more imposing as he looked down at you, his thumb and forefinger holding your chin in place as he resumed your make out just where you left it.  

His kisses grew needier and sloppier. You pushed against him to get more comfortable on the floor, understanding where this was leading. When he pulled his lips away from yours it was only to come back against your jaw, following the shape of your bone he kissed softly, attentively to your huffs. He nibbles softly at your ear lobe which did not fail to draw a whine from your lips. Similarly, he did not seem immune to your noises, his hips rutting against yours slightly. Your hands that fell against his clothed back triggered him further pushing himself with more strength, allowing himself to groan between kisses, his hot breath turning you on further.  

Eventually he stopped kissing you as his eyes shut tightly, one of his hands gripped your hip, albeit slightly painful to hit the angles he was looking for. You winced at the feeling but not enough to pull him away. You muttered his name close to his ear before he simply begged “Please…please…just a little more…just a little...” He trailed off. At every other stroke we should say, he hit against your core, teasing you before missing repeatedly. You were certainly attracted to this and allowed him to keep going, curious to see him finish against you.  

 His whines grew more desperate as he rolled his hips faster and harder, making you ache for his teasing touch more and more. You kissed up his neck, kissing and nibbling while your tongue shot out leaving little spots that sent shivers down his spine as the saliva grew cold in the cold air. Your hands found the hem of his shirt and you let your hands trail up his back, feeling against the strong muscles that carried his huge backpack on top of his suit of armor every day. Against every bump, ridge, and valley you slid your hand softly, while your other hand carded through his hair. You felt his breath hitch and what he liked best encouraging him to go on. 

 The few same words spilled out of his mouth as he got closer to his peak. “I’m almost there, just a little…a little…” he gasped out against you and in an already foggy mind you did not even think to push him away. With a sharp intake of air and controlled moan he came against you, in his pants, and despite the euphoric state he found himself in he felt the cold spot in his pants. After a few moments, in which he laid limp against you to recover, you felt equal parts gob smacked at what had just transpired in so little time, and terribly horny. 

“Laios, you sly devil” you whispered as you turned to kiss the shell of his ear. The night was nowhere near over for you both.  

.

.

.

Part 2?

[sprinkler-ashes]

begin again // aaron hotchner x reader

begin again

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

description: in which there are five times that aaron hotchner restores your faith in love and one time where you restore his. inspired by begin again by taylor swift.

words: 6.1k

warnings: cursing, a touch of angst, hotch in a quarter zip and casual clothes (yes this requires a warning), fluff, hurt/comfort if you squint, reader has an awful ex (gn pronouns for ex), mentions of violence and injuries

a/n: i’ve been working on this all throughout the week every night at like 3 am running on, at best, 4 hours of sleep so i’m very sorry if there are grammar/spelling errors – i will edit soon. also i fear i’ve been watching too much dharma & greg, and this was the product. enjoy!

i've been spending the last eight months

thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

but on a wednesday in a cafe

i watched it begin again

One.

It was week one of your new job at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit when you knew with absolute certainty that as soon as you arrived back at the bureau, you were going to hand in your resignation.

You were sitting away from the rest of the team who all sat together, though a little cramped, and deep into discussion about something that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. They were talking normally as if everything they just witnessed over the last few days didn’t affect them.

You knew that you were new to this – it was your first week on the job. But you felt like you should be… happier than the way you currently felt. This was your dream job: one that you’ve spent years working towards. One that you gave everything up for, including your relationship.

However, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t worth it.

The team was very lovely. From the moment the case had begun, each one of them made an effort all throughout the trip to Missouri to make sure you were keeping up and doing okay. They’d even tried to get you to come over and chat with them when the flight started, but you lied and said you were tired.

Your head was leaning against the window, your eyes peering out to see nothing but blue skies and clouds. This was everything you’d ever wanted, so why did you feel the way you did?

A voice in the back of your head told you that your ex was right; you weren’t cut out for this. You were going to fail just like they always said you were going to – this was a mistake.

You couldn’t help but be on the verge of a breakdown with all the thoughts running through your head, but there was no way you could cry due to the presence of someone moving to sit in the seat in front of you. A part of you didn’t want to look up because you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t want to look him in the eyes, but, reluctantly, you did look up only seconds later.

BAU Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner was sitting in front of you with his usual gaze that made you feel slightly intimidated. He seemed to be good at everything he did – or at least everything you had seen him do. He was well-respected, a damn good profiler, and so put-together that it made you feel like a mess in comparison.

“Can I help you, sir?” You asked, attempting to mask the conflicted feelings in your voice.

He ignored your question. “You just finished your first case. I wanted to see how you were feeling. You and Reid really helped by figuring out the geographical profile.”

You should’ve known he would know. This was a plane full of profilers – they probably all knew.

“I’m good,” you lied with an attempted smile that never reached your eyes. “I’m glad we caught the guy; I’m just really exhausted.”

Aaron didn’t say anything as he obviously did not believe you with his eyes still watching you, presumably reading more about you in mere seconds than you even knew about yourself. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the chatter from the rest of the team filling the air.

“They’ve all been here for years,” he suddenly said. “It still affects them, but it gets easier.”

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” you told him, your voice cracking in the middle of your sentence. You shut your eyes, cutting off eye contact. You didn’t want to look at your boss after you basically just told him you can’t do your own job.

This is so embarrassing, you thought to yourself.

When you finally re-opened your eyes, Aaron was still watching you. He moved forward, crossing his arms and resting them on the table between the two of you. He was looking at you with what you almost would’ve called sympathy.

“You can do this,” he reassured you, making sure his voice couldn’t be heard by the rest of the team. “You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t. It’ll get better.”

The sheer honesty in his voice caused unshed tears to form in your eyes. No one had given you the affirmation you so desperately needed in a long time – not even your ex, who often said more unkind things than kind.

“What if it doesn’t?” You asked, blinking hard to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall.

“It will,” he said firmly, emphasizing his words. “Go home, rest, and come back for a new day tomorrow.” With that, he stood back up, straightened out the sleeves of his suit jacket, and looked at you one last time before walking back over to where he was originally sitting. “You did very well this week.”

Aaron said everything with so much sincerity that for the first time in a while, you felt a little bit better.

—

Two.

You didn’t end up quitting.

It had been a little over a month since you almost quit your job after the first week. Things still weren’t perfect, but you had gotten more used to being a profiler and had gotten to the point where going to work didn’t feel like such a chore.

You were now in a small North Dakota town on a case. It was the second week of December, and the heat was out at the inn you were staying at, which all of you had, unfortunately, found out when arriving back from the police department.

“I probably know the answer to this, but is there any way we could go somewhere else?” JJ asked as she stood by the door. “It’s freezing, Hotch.”

“Actually, in order for it to be freezing, it would need to be–”

“Reid, not now,” Derek cut him off.

Aaron looked up from the folder he was reading. “We can’t go anywhere else. This is the only place to stay in town, and it’s the only place that was approved and booked.”

“They said they will probably have it going again in under an hour. Maintenance is working on it now,” Rossi announced as he entered the room, stepping past JJ. “They apologized for the inconvenience.”

It was eleven at night, and everyone was in clothes they were sleeping in except for Aaron who still wore his suit, minus the tie and jacket. You didn’t know how he wasn’t freezing in only his white dress shirt. The rooms at the inn were relatively tiny, but the team had all managed to cram into Aaron’s room, who got one to himself this time. They’d all flocked to his room in an attempt to figure out if staying somewhere else was possible, except for you, who had already been there.

You were sitting on the couch in the room next to Aaron as you attempted to help him figure out how this particular unsub was kidnapping his victims. The couch was particularly small, leaving no room between you and him. The entire side of your thigh was pressed against his, warmth radiating off of him despite the cold room.

Aaron sighed, laying down the folder and running a hand across his temple. “I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands. Everyone, go back to bed. Hopefully the heat will be back on soon.”

“You coming?” Emily, your roommate for the duration of time you would be in North Dakota, asked as everyone filed out of the room.

You shook your head. “I’ll be there soon. I’m going to look over this one last time and see if there’s anything I missed.”

Emily told the both of you goodnight and left the room, leaving only you and Aaron still sitting together.

He made you very nervous. 

Aaron was older, extremely accomplished, more experienced in the job, and working with him alone was nerve-wracking. You’d proven yourself immensely in the short amount of time you had been a member of the BAU. Still – he was wonderful at everything. The idea of being wrong around him was terrifying.

As you continued to look through everything laid out in front of you, you couldn’t focus. It was so cold to the point where you couldn’t feel the tip of your nose anymore, and you were slightly shivering, crossing your arms in an attempt to warm up a little.

“Looks like I should’ve brought a winter coat to sleep in,” you attempted to joke.

The left corner of Aaron’s mouth tipped upward as he stood up and moved to the small closet. “It is pretty cold, isn’t it?”

Before you knew it, there was a brown blanket being draped across your shoulders.

It wasn’t very thick nor was it very comfortable. In fact, it felt a little scratchy to the touch as it brushed over your bare hands, but Aaron situated it until it was entirely wrapped around you while his body hovered over yours. You stopped breathing momentarily, your heart picking up its pace every time his hands scraped over your own arms. Even through your thick sweatshirt and the blanket, you could still feel his touch.

“Thanks,” you muttered. Your heart rate had gone back down to normal now that he was moving to sit again.

“I can’t have one of my agents going hypothermic,” he joked and gave you one of his rare smiles; the ones that were usually reserved for outside of work.

You weren’t blind – Aaron Hotchner was a gorgeous man, and you wouldn’t deny that just the scent of his very expensive cologne alone was enough to make you feel slightly dizzy.

However, that's all you thought. He was your boss, and you were dealing with a breakup that was still laying heavy on your heart and constantly consumed your thoughts.

But even after the heat started working only half an hour later, you didn’t remove the blanket and temporarily forgot about the person who broke your heart while you worked next to him.

—

Three.

It was six months into your job when you found yourself having one of the worst days ever.

You’d woken up late and to a text from a friend letting you know that the ex you’d been getting over for half a year was now social-media-official with the person they told you not to worry about, you spilled coffee all over your car and your white top resulting in you being even later for work as you had to go back to your apartment and change.

You were a stumbling mess when you finally made it to the conference room for the meeting that you were six minutes late for. All eyes were focused on you as you mumbled apologies and sat down while trying to listen to Aaron’s voice. It was some housekeeping things and maybe you should’ve listened, but your head was elsewhere.

The rest of the day did not go well either. Halfway through the day, you had managed to screw up the fax machine, trip over your own shoes, and give yourself not one but two paper cuts. All of it sounded like minor things – a paper cut shouldn’t have set you off so badly, but it really did.

By the end of the day, you wouldn’t have minded if the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. Once you did one more thing, you would finally be able to go home.

“Come in.”

Aaron’s office was a place that you had grown to not fear so much. In the beginning of your job, every time you had to go in, it almost felt like you were in middle school walking into the principal’s office as he sat there at his desk with a stoic stare and hardly any emotion in his voice.

“I got your email about needing to speak with me,” you told him, coming inside and shutting the door behind you. “What did you need?”

He looked up at you as you moved closer to his desk. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

You frowned. “I thought you said in the email that you needed to speak with me about something important?”

Aaron nodded as if it was no big deal. “You’ve been acting off all day. How you feel is an important thing – even if you think it isn’t. So, are you okay?”

Your heart broke at his kindness. He was always nice to you, maybe nicer than he should’ve been, but calling you into his office just to make sure you were okay after a bad day made you wonder why no one else had ever cared about your feelings like this.

“I’m okay,” you told him. “It’s just been a terrible day.”

Still sitting at his desk with his full attention on you, Aaron asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You wouldn't lie – you did think about his proposal for a moment. There weren't many people for you to talk to. You had friends, but not many in Quantico other than your co-workers. You’d moved alone without knowing anyone, and you worked so much that there was rarely time for you to go out and meet new people.

But Aaron was a busy man. He was probably just offering to be polite – there was no way he cared that much to hear about your miniscule problems when his job was as hectic and busy as it was.

“No, Hotch, I don’t want to keep you here any longer–”

He cut you off. “I’m already here; it doesn’t matter. You can talk to me. I’ve been rather concerned about you.”

At that moment, you couldn’t come up with an excuse as to why the idea of him thinking about you was enough to make your heart flutter.

“It’s… it’s stupid,” you started, taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. “I had a bad breakup right before I moved to Quantico. My ex didn't really care when I went to the Academy, but they exploded when I told them how I finally got this job. It was constant fighting before they gave me an ultimatum: them or taking the job.”

“And you chose the job?”

You laughed, feeling a little pathetic. “No, at first, I didn’t. They really got it stuck in my head that I wasn’t good enough to do this. I was going to turn it down and stay, but I changed my mind last minute. I found out this morning they’re now with someone else. Then, I was late, I fucked up the fax machine, and I got a couple paper cuts. It’s nothing, really – it was just a bad day.”

Aaron moved around in his seat, leaning back a little and crossing his arms. “It isn’t nothing if it bothers you.”

“I didn’t know you were a therapist,” you tried to joke, squirming awkwardly in your seat. You were already feeling vulnerable and the way he was looking at you wasn’t helping.

“Only part-time,” he said. “Don’t tell anyone – someone may think I have emotions.”

His face was completely stoic when he said it, but as soon as you started to laugh, he joined in.

“Really, though, I’m okay – just exhausted. I think the universe just hates me right now.” You stood up to leave. “I want to beat the rush hour traffic, so I should head out, but thanks for checking on me.”

He nodded in acknowledgement and you were on your way out while thinking the interaction was over, when he called out your name.

You stopped, hand still grasping the door you were about to open. “Yeah?”

“It’s their loss.”

A frown appeared on your face. “What do you mean?”

“Your ex,” he explained. “You shouldn’t lose sleep over someone who doesn’t know how lovely you are.”

Lovely.

You’d been called a lot of things in your life, probably even some adjectives better than lovely, but the way it just rolled out of Aaron’s mouth as if it was a casual, every-day-like occurrence made you feel warm.

Aaron Hotchner thought you were lovely and knowing that kept a smile on your face for days after while the wounds that had been given to you by someone else slowly healed.

—

Four.

After a year of working with the BAU, you ended up with your first unsub-related injury.

You thought going to the hospital was pointless because you truly felt fine, but both Derek and JJ argued relentlessly for you to go due to the nasty gash on your head. Unfortunately, you were outnumbered and sent to the hospital for an evaluation after the unsub you were after thought it was okay to slam you on the ground a little too hard, resulting in a blow to your head when you went down and hit the concrete.

JJ rode with you to the hospital in the ambulance that you, very much, did not think was necessary. After seeing a doctor, it was determined that you had a concussion. With a thick bandage on your wound and a drive home from JJ who gave you strict rules on taking care of yourself while you healed like the mother she was, you were finally alone in the comfort of your apartment after a long day spent in Manassas – the location of the latest case.

Now that the adrenaline had worn off, you were starting to feel the symptoms and the sound of knocking on your door felt like nails being drilled into your head.

However, the person standing on the other side when you opened the door made your head spin faster than the concussion did.

Aaron was standing on the other side of the door, one hand holding a brown paper bag with a look of worry on his face. He was dressed casually in a navy blue sweatshirt and jeans, nose slightly red from where he had walked through the cold November air to get inside your apartment building.

In other words, he looked very good. It was hard to not grab and kiss him.

You’d developed somewhat of an attraction for your boss since that fateful day in his office. Not that you hadn’t been attracted to him before, but it now felt more like a serious affection and not some small crush – the first time you felt this way about anyone in a long time.

“Hi,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another upon seeing you. “How are you?” He paused after his eyes glanced at the very obvious bandage on your forehead. “Wait, I don’t think that’s an appropriate question right now. I’m sorry.”

You giggled despite the throbbing in your temple, moving to let him into your apartment. “I’m as good as I can be right now. Come on in.”

He walked into your apartment, following you into the kitchen after you shut the door and locked it. Aaron had only been to your apartment once after giving you a ride home from work, but this was the first time he’d ever been inside.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” He asked while you got a glass of water.

You nodded slightly, careful to cause any more pain. “Probably, but I can’t get any rest until my medicine kicks in and my head doesn’t feel like it’s about to bust.”

Aaron winced. “I tried to come to the hospital, but JJ had already taken you home by the time I got there, so I came here. I apologize for coming unannounced and so late, but I had to make sure you were okay.”

“You do that a lot,” you told him, leaning against one of the counters in the kitchen. “Making sure I’m okay.”

“I happen to care about you a lot.”

Hiding your smile behind the glass of water, you took a sip before focusing your attention back on the bag he brought with him. “What’s in the bag?”

It seemed as though he had forgotten he was still holding something. He raised it up and held it out to you, an almost-shy look dancing across his face that you’d never seen before on him. “I, um, made a stop at the store for you on my way over. It’s just over-the-counter medicine, extra bandages, and a couple snacks that I know you like. I figured it might help you out since you can’t drive for the next two days.”

You couldn’t stop the grin that appeared on your face. It was almost as if every time you thought Aaron couldn’t get any more perfect, he would prove you wrong.

He continued as he sat the bag down on the counter next to you. “I also wanted to tell you that Strauss said take all the time you need to recover.”

You gave him a quizzical look. “She did?”

There was only silence between the two of you as you looked at each other until he shrugged. “Well, I told her that you’re going to be taking all the time off that you need, and she didn’t really say anything so take all the time you need.”

“It’s just a concussion,” you told him. “I’ll be back to work soon.”

“A concussion is a serious thing,” Aaron said with a frown, not liking the way you brushed the injury off as nothing. “I’m glad you’re okay. Morgan said you hit the ground pretty hard before he cuffed the guy.”

You took another sip of your water before sitting it down. “I’m alive and well – Derek was just worried.”

As much as you were enjoying the feeling of talking with Aaron in your kitchen, the heaviness you felt in your eyes reminded you that it was nearly midnight, and you’d had a long day. The yawn that escaped your mouth didn’t go unnoticed.

“I should go and let you get some rest.”

You really didn’t want him to go. There weren't many other opportunities where you would get Aaron in your apartment like this. It felt oddly domestic, and you hated the fact that you loved it so much. But he was right – you did need the rest.

“Thank you again for stopping by,” you told him as the two of you walked the short distance back to the front door. “And for all the stuff you bought. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” he said, his hand lingering on the door knob. “If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”

He was opening the door before you called out, “Wait,” your mind flooded with déjà vu from the time he stopped you on your way out of his office.

Aaron paused and turned to look back at you. His body hadn’t left the room yet, but the door was slightly ajar where he opened it. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you walked over to him and threw your arms around his broad torso engulfed in the softest sweatshirt you’d ever felt.

“Thank you,” you softly said. “Not just for tonight, but for, well, just caring about me.”

He didn’t waste a second reciprocating the hug as he wrapped his arms around you even tighter, careful not to get near the bandage on your forehead and further hurt you. He was like a human heater – warm, tall, and you fit perfectly against him.

One hug from Aaron was like a band-aid healing any problem you had – even the external ones. Maybe this was what the placebo effect felt like and if this was it, you wanted it over and over again.

“Of course,” he muttered, arms still locked around you as if he needed this more than you did.

When you finally parted, his cheeks were dusted with a slight red shade as he wore one of his grins that you’d grown to love and receive more often. “Goodnight.”

Even though you had a raging headache and a painful cut on your temple, it had nothing on the big smile you kept on your face even as you drifted off into sleep that night still feeling warm and giddy.

—

Five.

It had been almost two months since you hugged Aaron in your apartment.

Since that night, something changed in the relationship between the two of you. You couldn’t really place your finger on what had changed, but there was a shift. Tension was thick – not in a bad way but in a way where you wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him to you any time you were alone.

You also had the feeling that he felt the same way. Aaron had been a profiler for many more years than you had been, but you liked to think you were good at your job. You could read him and from the way his eyes watched you, you could tell he was feeling the same tension in the air.

It was New Year’s Eve, and David Rossi had, after a lot of pleading from Penelope, agreed to host a small get-together for the team plus family including Will, Henry, and Jack – the latter two were currently running around the, very expensive, house, which was driving Dave insane as kept watch to make sure nothing got damaged due to the kids.

You were standing outside in the backyard, the late-December air hitting your face as you glanced down at your phone that told you it was almost midnight.

When you thought back to who you were around this time last year –  a woman in a new city with a demanding job and hardly any friends, still crying yourself to sleep over someone who didn’t deserve your tears – it made you want to smile.

It had been a little over a year since you started working at the BAU and as you glanced inside through the large glass doors, you felt like you belonged. There was no more doubt, no more tears, and no more days where you wanted to run away.

“What are you doing out here? You’ll freeze to death.” You turned around to find Aaron closing one of the glass doors and moving towards you.

He was wearing a black quarter zip and jeans – a casual outfit but one of your favorites. For reasons that you couldn’t understand, Aaron Hotchner in a quarter zip made you feel things.

“I came out here because it’s cold,” you told Aaron, leaning against a railing and crossing your sweater-covered arms. “It’s so hot and stuffy in there. It’s like Rossi is trying to burn us all alive.”

Aaron laughed and walked over next to you. He leaned against the railing, his arm brushing against yours. “He does keep his house pretty hot.”

“Is Jack having a good time?”

Jack Hotchner was probably your favorite kid you’d ever met. He was a total sweetheart, and you instantly got along with him from the first day you met him.

You didn’t miss the way Aaron’s face lit up a little as you mentioned his son. “Yes, I think so. He’s a big fan of celebrating the New Year because he gets to stay up late.” You then watched his face fall a bit. “He’s been missing his mom a lot lately, so coming here tonight – it’s good for him.”

You knew of Aaron’s ex-wife who had died before you joined the team, and you knew the terrible way that it happened. You’d also heard that it greatly affected Jack and Aaron, even though he hid it more than he should’ve.

“It must be hard on him, but I’m glad he’s having a good time tonight.”

Aaron smiled. “He loves the team, but I think you’re his favorite.”

You grinned. “No way! I’m honored.”

A comfortable silence grew between the two of you with no sounds other than distinct chatter and laughs from inside of the house. You glanced over to Aaron who was pulling out his phone.

“Eleven fifty-eight,” he said. “You want to head back inside and watch the ball drop?”

You almost said yes at first because you actually did want to see the ball drop, but you also wanted a moment alone with Aaron considering you rarely got them in a setting outside of work. Maybe you were being selfish, but you didn’t care – a few more minutes with him wouldn’t hurt. “I think I’m going to stay out here.”

He didn’t say anything. Aaron kept his phone out so the two of you could keep an eye on the clock app, its tiny, orange hand moving around the twelve, now signalizing that it was eleven fifty-nine.

Your eyes kept watch on the clock as it got closer to passing twelve again. You were starting to get nervous. A part of you expected Aaron to go inside after you told him you weren’t going back in – it wasn’t like he was obligated to stay out in the cold with you.

However, he never went back inside and as the clock kept getting closer to midnight, only seconds away now, you wondered if he was thinking the same thing you were: the traditional New Year’s kiss.

You discretely searched for any sign on his face that gave away if he was going to kiss you or not. You so desperately wanted it but if he wasn’t thinking the same thing, there was no way you were going to embarrass yourself by trying to kiss him.

Ten.

Still no sign – you were starting to panic a little.

Nine.

What were you supposed to do?

Eight.

Would he rather have a handshake? He did have a pretty firm grip.

Seven.

No, screw a handshake. Who gives someone a handshake at midnight on New Year’s?

Six.

He put down his phone and was starting to turn toward you.

Five.

Was he actually going to kiss you?

Four.

“Forgive me if I’m reading this wrong, but can I kiss you?”

Three.

You couldn’t form words, only a nod, eyes slightly widened.

Two.

He was moving his hand up to your cheek and, oh dear, this was actually going to happen.

One.

Aaron’s lips were warm against yours, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever been kissed with so much delicacy. He was gentle and respectful. Your hands pressed against his chest before you finally moved them up to the nape of his neck under the collar of the quarter zip you loved so much, pulling him even closer to you.

You felt secure and safe pressed up tightly against him with one hand of his cupping your jaw as the other rested firmly on your lower back. Your mouth was opening up before you could even stop it. Aaron smiled against your lips as he felt it before he deepened the kiss.

 This time, he was kissing you much more firmly and with the feeling of his tongue moving against yours, you couldn’t remember the last time, or if ever, you felt the way you did. His hand pressed even harder against your back, making you inhale sharply during the kiss.

There was a time in your life when you thought you would never find someone else – that maybe you were destined to be alone all because of one person who didn’t see your worth, but Aaron made all the pain go away to the point where you hadn’t thought of the person who hurt you in months.

Aaron made you feel like you were floating all the time. He reminded you of your worth instead of breaking you down. He was a man who did both the small things like throwing a blanket around your cold body and the big things like bringing you snacks and medicine after a hit to the head – the definition of “if he wanted to, he would” in the best way possible.

“Hey! You guys missed the – holy shit!”

You flung yourself off Aaron and looked behind him to see Emily standing there, her mouth wide open. You’d never seen her utterly speechless like she was at the moment. She opened and closed her mouth for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of you before she finally found something to say.

 “Morgan and Reid owe me fifty bucks.”

—

(+) One.

It was three months into Aaron Hotchner’s relationship with you when he knew with absolute certainty that he loved you.

His job was difficult, and today was no different but instead of shaking it off before going home, he couldn’t help but feel a cloud of emotion follow him all the way back home to his apartment.

He knew that you were waiting on him because the two of you were supposed to have dinner. You’d gotten to leave at a reasonable time and not, he glanced down at his watch, at nine at night. Aaron had a lot of duties and responsibilities as Unit Chief, but he sometimes wished he didn’t in order to come home at a normal hour.

Aaron saw you sitting on his couch as soon as he unlocked and opened his front door. You smiled sweetly as you looked over at him, no trace of frustration or anger at how late he was getting home.

“Everything go okay with those reports? I know Strauss was giving you a hard time,” You said as you glanced back down at your phone you were holding. When he didn’t answer, he saw you look back up at him again but this time with a frown on your face.

He knew the look he had on his face was giving him away, but he just couldn’t force himself to not feel the way that he was feeling.

You put your phone down on the coffee table and stood up to move in front of him. “Are you okay?”

“That’s usually my line to you,” he attempted a joke, but it never reached his eyes.

You responded with a half-smile. “Bad evening?”

Aaron nodded, not saying anything further. You moved closer as you wrapped your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, honey,” he said, instantly feeling a little better just from your touch. “I missed dinner. I’m not the one who should be upset.”

You pulled back and rested both hands on each side of his face as he kept his situated on your waist. “Someone told me once that how you feel is an important thing even if you think it isn’t.”

He chuckled a bit. “Using my own words against me, huh?”

You cracked a smile. “It’s okay that you missed dinner. I know you had a rough and busy evening. Don’t worry about me. We can have dinner another night – it’s not a big deal that you couldn’t make it.”

You were looking at him so sincerely and touching him with so much care that he couldn’t help but pull you back in again, eyes closing at the feeling of another hug from you.

“Let’s go to bed,” you mumbled to him. “You look like you could go for an early night.”

Aaron wasn’t sure what he did to deserve someone as good as you – someone who cared for him even on days when he didn’t care for himself. You were kind, understanding, and patient. Sometimes he couldn’t even believe he was lucky enough to be with someone like you.

So while he wasn’t sure of how deserving he really was, he was one hundred percent sure of the fact that he loved you and your lovely self.

[djevelbl]

Alright! So! Kaboodle has been haunting my head like a cool little ghost roomie for a wee bit now /pos and I just,,,, look my blog is alllll about incoherently screaming into the void that is the internet about whatever is haunting my head this time, it was inevitable that bnuuy girliepop would get her own post ok? If nothing else, then it's surprising it hasn't happened before--

(like with Branzy's post from a while back, this is a character analysis of, y'know, THE CHARACTER??? so yeah! This is about the bunny girl killing ppl on LifeSteal and not whoever the hell talks behind the mic! I don't feel like I should have to say this, but I've seen ppl be dumbasses over LS!Kab AND actual Kaboodle too. so. don't be an idiot over this — you're encouraged to scroll on if you don't care to read it! This applies to any other names I throw around, like always — happy reading!)

So to preface whatever word vomit I'm about to commit, lemme bring it all out already: my knowledge of LifeSteal Season Six (the one that features Kaboodle) is basically One (1) whole recent stream, and maybe three videos all set on the very beginning of the season — don't expect this to be accurate, but I'll do my very best based on what I've got on hand.

With that out of the way, I'll proceed to yank bnuuy girliepop by the hair and into my microscope:

It's no secret that Kaboodle has a bit of a problem with trusting people, even to the point where she called whatever happened with ash "betrayal," when most of us wouldn't consider it that — she was taken advantage of (from what I understand of her POV to the situation), sure, but they were never teammates, they were never friends in the server; she's been having a big problem with trust and how she uses it, mostly because she's very extroverted and people-oriented — less in the sense that she knows how to read people and the little signs within their voices, and more in the sense that she thrives around people. She's insecure over her own survival abilities and her PVP prowess, and as such has taken to leaning on others to cover up her blindspots — she's been leaning on those surrounding her like her life depends on it because, to a certain extent, it does: if you don't know how to fight, you find someone who does and attach yourself to them, learn their tactics, grow alongside them so you can stand on your own; Kaboodle is still not yet there, she's just now realizing she has to stop trusting people just because they were chill with her once.

But she thrives within a group, she's extroverted and is fed energy through chatter and socializing — that type of person will intrinsically have it harder to detach their feelings from being projected onto other people (reason why she considers the ashswag incident a betrayal, even though I'm pretty sure there wasn't any precedent for trust to be placed on him) and as such will simply have it harder to keep to themselves; we can see this so clearly in how she interacts with others: she doesn't move even an inch, no flinch and no instinct to run away even as Clown launches into the air and he fakes an attack on her with the Mace. She follows ManePear around as they sneak close to PrinceZam and baconnwaffles0 to eavesdrop on their conversation, and barely fights back as she gets killed a half hour or so after with no indication of why he would do that. She calls Zam her "frenemy" and while that word includes enemy in its spelling, it also includes friend.

She still hasn't quite let go of Squiddo's betrayal, and while I'm not informed on what that situation is, I can say one thing about it: Squiddo learned from last season that they shouldn't blindly trust whoever she calls a friend outside of LifeSteal, I'm sure (the temporary ban they got for helping Wemmbu with... I think it was his orbital cannon??? Plus his support of the 4Cvit and Reddoons team-up over his support of Squiddo; these things would do that to you), so she doesn't — they allow herself to be friends and have teammates, allies, so on, but they're not above taking sides if that means she gets out on top (their betrayal of 4Cvit leaves this being very clear to the audience — she's done playing around, they're here to survive and win it; as much as one wins LifeSteal, of course) and this is a lesson all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new LifeStealers have to learn if they want to come back next season: whatever you and someone else had outside of LifeSteal stays outside of LifeSteal — once you're inside, your relationships are inherently different. There's no way about it.

Clown understands this — he's willing to partner up with friends and foes so long as it benefits him, and he's not above getting dirty if that's what it takes; he trusts people as far as he can throw them, and he fucking hates knockback on his weapons. Kaboodle is not exempt from this rule, regardless of whatever relationship they shared before LifeSteal Season Six — she can't quite wrap her head around this notion, especially obvious on her video about her first experience on the server: one of the first things she did in that thing was showing the audience a chart she made on how much she trusts people on the server, and in that chart she singled out Clown by saying that there's nothing that would make her distrust him because they're friends! They know each other! She knows him better than most do!

But he's not the guy she knows — he's most of that man, sure, but she's never experienced first hand how Clown is on the server.

What I find interesting, is that one stream I watched — technically I watched two: Kaboodle's Confrontation stream from the 5th, and Clown's POV of the same conversation; I didn't watch the whole Clown VOD, but it got pointed out to me (everyone thank clownscasino for this) that Clown was scared — to me he seemed more nervous than scared, but the point still stands on this whole thing: Clown was uneasy over meeting Kaboodle to discuss... Whatever it is she wanted to speak about; he wasn't indifferent, curious, bored — he was specifically uneasy over the concept. The conversation hung over his head like a thunderstorm cloud, never leaving and never lessening — he was affected by the idea and sure, it was because he thought she would try to kill him, but doesn't that say a lot about him?

He cares. In the absence of somebody to stay by his side, he's come to care for a familiar face.

... Did you know Branzy had been Clown's teammate consistently for three seasons in a row? (more or less — I'm new to this thing, cut me some slack) that's an incredible number, considering how polarizing and dividing LifeSteal can easily become for its players — they've all bounced around teams and allies like a twink at a fraternity party, yet Branzy had always remained by Clown's side; similarly, Clown stuck by Branzy's. They didn't help each other frequently — mostly because by the end of their runtime Branzy wasn't logging in all that much — but they sure as all hell stayed loyal to one another; there's a reason their duo is so popular, regardless of whether you wanna mash their character together like two Barbies or not: even within the massacre and bloodshed of LifeSteal, the violence and backstabbing and betrayal, the Funhouse Duo/Clownzy have always stood by each other.

Season Six is the first time that Clown doesn't have his bestie of all besties/his work bf around to lean back on — he's left on his own, and while he can certainly survive and even thrive on his own, it just isn't the same; there's no more friendly face he can pick out from the crowd, no more loving person to care for and fret over. He's always been alone, at the end of the day, but it hasn't stung half as much as it does now.

All of this is to say: Clown is an introvert telling Kaboodle to just "not trust people", while Kabs is an extrovert who can't help how she gets attached to people — they're an interesting duo to watch as they discuss, because while Kaboodle says that she's gonna start being more careful around people, not trusting others etc. etc., she still stays put as she watches Clown come down on her, Mace in hand. She still tells him that she trusts him as he's telling her "well you shouldn't!" She still follows ManePear around and gives him iron when she's asked, based on the momentary truce they held, a precarious thing entirely dictated by his hand and not hers.

I get what Clown is saying when he tells her to "not trust anyone — not even me", as he's the veteran between them and the one who has the most knowledge, he understands how the server operates and what the point of it all is, the atmosphere bred within its code and how it spreads like a disease amongst its players, yet it just circles back to being annoying — it reminds me of that conversation Woogie (I think) and Kaboodle had on her video about her first day(s?), where Woogie was undermining her experience, ideas and beliefs, and the only difference is the amount of misplaced loyalty Kaboodle has for (LS!)Clown; she trusts him without him having to do anything, and that's something that goes down wrong with him, obviously: he advises her to keep her cards to her chest, where somebody with less mercy (less love for her, less unwilling care, less desire to see her thrive on her own terms and by her own merit) would've let her get herself killed with that big heart of hers that's in need of affection and attention.

She's so excited as she recounts her last week to a listening Clown, immediately sighing with great relief as he explains he wasn't helping ManePear when he was hunting her, she says "I love Batman" as Clown exclaims he would be Batman and while I don't think cc!Kabs is quick-on-the-uptake enough to have a surface vs deeper meaning line thrown in the middle of Killerbunnies banter that's not necessarily fully in character, I reserve the right to believe whatever the fuck I wish, actually.

He humours her, lets her ramble and asks about what happened to her eye, he follows along with her DC comparisons and takes the time to explain to her what actually happened between him and ManePear.

He says he doesn't trust anyone, but doesn't love require some trust? What a hypocritical Clown, you turned out to be. I hope, if it comes down to it, you show her she matters more to you than those self imposed rules of yours, as I'm sure she'll show you you matter more to her then those rules you try to teach her

[ytace]

The Firecracker Conundrum

[ I honestly recommend playing this song while reading haha ]

Warning: Slight swearing

Pairings: Professor Lupin X Student Reader [Platonic]

Summary: You, an apeshit student who's known to cause trouble in hogwarts, might have just started a firework mayhem in Lupin’s class when Umbridge came in to send someone to detention

[Characters included don't go by timeline]

The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was filled with the usual chatter of students walking in and preparing for their next lesson.

Your Professor, Remus Lupin, was sorting through some papers at his desk. Often casting occasional glances at the door, giving slight nods acknowledging the students who walked in, greeting him. Before his eyes were once drawn to a familiar face — the notorious and infamous troublemaker, whose name is often heard through the halls of Hogwarts.

Whispers From mouth to ear, words of your pranks got out quickly and people often talk about stunts that you used to pull.

As you sauntered in, you had a bouquet of what seemed like "harmless flowers". However, Lupin's keen eyes quickly noted the subtle signs of mischief. The flowers were, in fact, cleverly disguised firecrackers and fireworks purchased from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

As you made your way to your seat, Lupin's mouth curled up into a smirk as he decided to taunt you abit, Attempting to see if he could make you spill the beans.

"Ah, [Y/N], welcome to class," Lupin said, his tone light and teasing. "I see you’ve come prepared with a lovely bouquet. Are you planning on decorating the classroom for the occasion? Interior Too boring for you I assume?"

"Well Infact Professor, the Interior of the class seems... A little dull. I thought that I'd do us a favour and try to lighten up the mood abit!" [Y/N] replied with a sly grin, balancing on the edge of their desk.

Some giggles and suppressed laughters could be heard around the class over your witty remark, knowing you most likely have something in plan.

“Just a friendly reminder,” Lupin said, catching [Y/N]’s eye, “we’re here to focus on learning defensive spells today.. I trust you’ll save your little floral arrangements for another time?"

“Of course, Professor,” [Y/N] said with an exaggerated bow. “I'll try my best to resist the urge to spice things up.”

.-.

As Lupin began the lesson, he guided the students through practical exercises and theoretical discussions. Despite his serious tone, his eyes occasionally darted towards [Y/N], who was playing their part well by pretending to pay attention but clearly scheming something.

The lesson continued, with students practicing defensive spells. The Sound of students muttering spells, and the flipping of pages filled the air that surrounded you. As you looked up catching the sight of Professor Lupin offering corrections and encouragement to students who needed it.

The air of normalcy was then abruptly broken when the door to the classroom came flying open, and Dolores Umbridge, one of the professors in hogwarts, strutted in.

“Professor Lupin,” she said in a disdainful tone, “I need to speak with one of your students. Is Emily here?”

As Umbridge eyes darted around the class before spotting Emily then approaching her

She grabbed onto Emily's Robes. "Your Coming With Me, Ms Emily." She said before further dragging her away. She was apparently called out to detention just because she was talking in umbridge classes earlier.

"PROFESSOR! PLEASE!-"

The whole class stared at the scene unveiling infront of them, Unable to intervene as most of them wouldn't want to know what happens Under Umbridge Wrath. Who knew what she would do if someone were to intervene.

But However, You didn't take the chance for someone to be simply dragged away to hell under such small circumstances. You appeared nonchalant, but your mind was already working on a plan.

Lupin’s gaze met [Y/N]’s, a hint of amusement in his eyes. As you dramatically threw a stack of textbooks onto the floor.

"Fuck this shit!" You exclaimed before you groaned loudly, catching Umbridge’s attention.

"Excuse me?" She slowly let's go of Emily's Robes, before she walked towards you.

“She's being unjustly accused! I demand a trial by wizard’s jury!”

You declared before pointing towards Umbridge with the Bouquet of flowers in your hands.

Umbridge, irritated but trying to maintain her composure, reached out towards You.

“I'll deal with Emily Later. You come with me, now.” she demanded before a flick of her wand, casting a spell to manoeuvre the bouquet of flowers from your hands to hers.

"And I'll Be taking these for myself" she said as she looked at the different coloured flowers with slight adoration.

In a swift move, You used your wand to set off a spell that ignited the hidden fireworks.

"Incendio!"

The "harmless bouquet of flowers" exploded into a dazzling array of lights, filling the room with an eruption of sparks and colors. The classroom was instantly transformed into a scene of chaotic brilliance. Fireworks whizzed around, and sparkling lights dazzled and danced across the walls.

The crackling and popping sound of the fireworks shooting off in every direction sends the whole class bustling with different sounds of chatter that was filled with amazement and awe. Not only was the class filled with laughters and cheers, it was the deffinition of a perfect ambience.

Umbridge, caught off guard, looked around in disbelief as Lupin’s face broke into an incredulous grin. He was clearly enjoying the spectacle that you have just pulled, trying to hold back a chuckle.

“Honestly, [Y/N],” Lupin called out over the commotion, “I’m beginning to think you might be a more talented performer than a student.”

"Oh? What if I'm both?" You replied before you held out your wand casting a spell to close up all the classroom windows plunging the classroom into semi-darkness.

Amidst the chaos, Umbridge frantically tries to find her wand that she dropped after getting caught off guard by your little trick. The room, now illuminated by the remaining fireworks that was still lit up with the sparks glowing like it's a magical lightshow, it almost looked like a starlit wonderland. The effect was mesmerizing, even as Umbridge’s temper flared.

Lupin, enjoying the spectacle, moved among the students, ensuring everyone was safe and helping to contain the situation. He couldn’t suppress his chuckle anymore as he watched the fireworks slowly dim, leaving behind a soft, magical glow. After the last of the effects was gone, Lupin took out his wand. With a wave, all the windows were now reopened, filling the once dim classroom with light.

“Alright Class, Settle Down.” Lupin said, as the students all went back to their seats. Lupin turned his attention back onto restoring order. The classroom was slowly returning to its original state.

Both in an impressed and teasing tone, Lupin approached you. “I must say, your sense of timing is impeccable. If only I could reward you with extra credit for such creativity.."

You gave a cheeky grin, brushing the remnants of fireworks off your robes. “Well, if you’re offering, I might just show up to class on time next week.”

As Umbridge got a hold of her wand, her impeccable anger was clear that she wanted [Y/N] Gone. She was even more pissed at the fact that she had just been embarrassed infront of the entire class, adding onto how Lupin did not offer her any assistance when the mayhem started.

It was time that she used her own way of dealing you herself.

Before she even got the chance to grab you, with a final flourish, You leaped out of the high classroom window, deftly landing on Your broomstick that was cleverly hidden outside and bellow of the class window.

"Till Next Time Professor!" You yelled from outside the classroom windows. With a wink and a smile, [Y/N] disappeared gliding off on their broomstick leaving Lupin shaking his head in amusement.

The Students all leaped out of their seat, to run off to the edge of the windows, witnessing [Y/N] Fly off into the air as they let out a huge playful laughter punching the air in triumph and victory.

Lupin watched from afar as [Y/N] made their escape, a mixture of admiration in his eyes. Before he said softly

"And the show goes on..”

[khajiit-journal]

Turdas, Morning Star 23, 2025

🗓️ | Thursday, January 23, 2025 🌦️ | cold & clear 🌙 | waning crescent 🎊 | no holiday

— ☆ —

I was in one of my recurrent locations, which I can best describe as a hotel attached to another recurrent location which is kinda like the Backrooms. Time stops when in the liminal spaces, and I would travel them to explore and find secrets. I ended up fighting a boss Psychonauts style.

I was also, for the rest of the dream, exploring normally. I was wandering town and driving about and all this other stuff, just having a good time. This was also a recurrent location.

— ☆ —

I did a return to sender today to see if it would send back any of the energy and spirits sent my way through another person. I shall see later on!

Uhhh I wrote and talked to friends. Not much else. Real short and real sweet entry today.

[missyvani]

PECULIAR ─ .✦

Invincible x Starfire (Short Story) PART ONE

Summary ─ During a week of silence and freedom from his duty, a flying subject entered their solar system, driven by greed. It invaded Earth in a search for a certain alien, and that alien is a Viltrumite.

WARNING ︴Blood and Violence, Power Struggle, Profanity, Death, Sexual incourse and Heartbreak (included as the story goes on)

AUTHOR’s NOTE ︴first post. Very nervous. I’m welcome to any tips. I am new. T-T. BUT I hope you enjoy this short story. I apologize if some details of Starfire and Invincible are inaccurate or if the grammar and spelling is incorrect.

‘I need you mark!��

Earth’s fierce hero. A title he had craved since a young age and since the half-told lie of his father’s past. That title meant everything to him, even if the reward seemed little like a kid had earned a sticker.

To be Strong. Brave and rousing like his father. That’s what it was supposed to feel like.

After countless times of watching his father save Earth LIVE on NEWS channels and arriving home untouched to remind Mark’s potential appearing anytime soon, the title became part of his life.

Yet little did Mark know that his life would take a different route once his powers were exposed. All his brutal battles and rise practices weren’t as smooth-going as he thought.

“Don’t overthink it, Mark. You’ll get it,” said Nolan, levitating over his son, who failed his 20th landing attempt. His thumb skates beneath his chin, resting his tensed features from worsening.

Hours into Mark’s training—his repeated failures made no difference. No progress whatsoever except for how he should be flying. Like relaxing his muscles mid-air and using the build-in momentum to travel faster.

“You make it look easy. I don’t know how to slow down or even land the way you do.” frowned Mark, springing his body up to stand in the massive hole created by his landing.

His brows narrowed low, eyes burning in vexation. This practice had started toying with his nerves, and knowing Mark—Nolan had to save it for another day.

“You will, son. You keep practicing, and soon you will.” Nolan casually lands beside Mark, resting a palm over his shoulder for comfort, and cracks a small smile. “Let’s end it here for now.”

“Right.”

Ever since his father fled Earth, Mark has been nothing but the planet’s most valuable hero. This wasn’t as bad at first until his college attendance and grades dropped like flies.

Even his relationship with Amber. Who would’ve thought, Cecil would call him numerous times within a week. Such as bodyguarding a certain somebody or saving stolen money from a bank.

There are other heroes available, yet he is the first to dial. ‘Mark! Hello?! Answer me Goddammit!’

In outer space, surrounded by its tranquility, Mark laid on the moon alone, his unfazed gaze exploring the bright dots of stars with Earth in his left-side view.

For an hour or two, it’s all he’s been solacing himself with. A need away from traffic noise and constant chatter. (Mostly people) So he may reconnect with his inner self.

Mark lifted an arm from beneath his head, tracing lines of every bit of star his eyes laid on. Under the mask of his pensive features, memories of life before his world tore apart flooded in a flash.

Chasing what’s left of his happiness.

‘Earth to Mark! We need you back now! Get to New York, I assume it might be another invasion.’

“Can’t you call other heroes? I’m quite busy right now Cecil.” sighed Mark through his clear helmet. (Provided from past missions)

‘Yeah? Like what? I can see you kid.’ said Cecil in his earpiece. ‘I have a bad feeling about this. We didn’t spot this when it entered our planet and I need you to check it out.’

“I could really use some alone time.”

‘No! Get there now!’

(Tamaranean language translated to English.)

Viltrumites. A monstrosity species to every living civilization that has known of its existence. Especially the Tamaranean people.

Since she was young and understood what others spoke around her, Kori’s family tree and people told stories of Viltrumites, their frightening abilities, and plans to conquer planets, including theirs.

And because their race had been considerably threatening to possibly defeat a Viltrumite, her whole society jumped from one welcoming planet to another to avoid extinction and proceed with colonization.

Yet, despite her years of combat training and repeatedly reviewing escape plans in case Viltrumites ever discover them, Kori refuses her given lifestyle. She finds her learning to be an act of weakness, not of protection of its people.

An Tamaranean should not defend its people by hiding in its empire or run away for centuries till someone or something brave enough faces the Viltrumites.

Driven by self-determination in defeating her yearly threat. Kori focused her training on refining her abilities and bettering her thought process in combat.

Till her coming of age near adulthood, Kori felt that it was time to depart from her people and begin her journey. Without a proper explanation of her reason for leaving home, her kind was under the impression that Kori wished to find their savior and bring them back to their planet to share a belief that a war could be avoidable.

Upon her arrival on Earth, its vibrant green and blue ocean, smearing a shine in her eyes, compelled Kori to inspect past its atmosphere, where the living congregated in all corners of its areas.

Weird building’s appeared tall, rectangular, and unrefined, unlike every other tower she’d seen. Its people resembled Viltrumites yet were powerless.

An Viltrumite can lift an object twice their size without an issue but this man—Young looking. Dropped an item beneath his vehicle, resulting to him kneeling down to reach under instead of simply tossing aside his vehicle for his item.

To be strangely alike, are these people weak? Slow? Vulnerable? It was unlike anything she had encountered. With unsolved questions stacking her mind, it only furthered her curiosity about Earth.

As Kori flew close enough to better her view, her ear caught their speech, communicating in a language she couldn’t speak or understand. ‘A problem she can resolve later on when needed.’ She thought.

Further down the road, admiring their way of life and unique features, which are different symmetrically and by color. Earth had begun earning a place in her heart.

ZAP! ZAP!

Kori swung towards the familiar noise. (ZAP! ZAP!) ‘Was it the Viltrumites? Have they come to claim this planet?’ She wondered. Without wasting more precious time, she boosted herself closer in the distance between the sound and her, only to find three massive portals swirling wide an entrance.

“Flaxans.” She gritted, lowering her heels to be inches from touching the cement. Her posture arched forward, clutching her fingers in peroration for battle.

Her empire spoke of their society. Their civilization was reduced to a small community because of their reckless greed to rule a planet guarded by a Viltrumite. Whatever planet it may have been, Earth won’t be their next.

A small army of Flaxan’s stormed out in groups of four, gun blazing in all directions and tongues snarling in their foreign language.

“I will not allow you to claim this precious planet!” Kori's green eyes enhanced, shaping a circular mist on her fists as her heels dashed to separate their army.

The Flaxan’s nerves sunk in a puddle of dread, their palms shaken upon Kori’s arrival. Her kind on planet Earth? No mind has enough process to know why she’s here. Only flooded with revenge, they attacked uncontrollably like animals, sought for tasty justice.

“Flaxan’s? Again? I can’t believe they’re back and in a much smaller army. I think I can leave this one out; someone’s already taking care of them.” Mark’s arms fold over his chest, eyes watching Kori’s every move yet not noting her peculiar existence.

‘You helping will have them back in their dimension faster.’ said Cecil. “Was that why you had a bad feeling? They have something up their sleeves to conquer this planet?” A brow raised.

‘No it’s not them. It’s the girl. Help her first then bring back to my fortress for questioning.’

“What if she doesn’t want to come.” asked Mark. ‘Force her.’

“I’m not fighting her.” His jaw clenched in irritation, narrowing his eyes along Kori’s figure, who seemed far from the idea of being a threat.

'Mark. There's no time to negotiate. I don't care if this thing is helping us—she's not from here.'

“She has a name, I’m sure.” Mark murmured to himself, knowing Cecil will eventually hear. ‘Just do what I say.’

Kori kept her guard composed, blocking their shots as her heels veered for cover. She could have ended this within a minute and furthered her exploration. Yet, there was no opening with the Flaxan’s shooting at once. Only ceaselessly in all directions.

“Hey! I fought these guys before. I got your back!” Mark’s knees dropped beside Kori, holding his position behind a vehicle. His masked face caught her somewhat off guard, baffled mostly. Did he think he could take the Flaxans on his own? He had never fought them before—his kind is useless against them.

“Stand back! I can finish this.” snarled Kori, beaming out of cover, crushing the cement beneath their feet as a display of her annoyance while attempting to send the Flaxans back into their portal.

“So you don’t speak English. This might be a problem.” Mark simply tore off the vehicle’s door, slamming the Flaxan’s with its metal surface with his free fist denting their eerie features.

Both gain their chance of victory, demolishing what’s left of their army. Few Flaxans retreated, tossing spider-like drones as their final defense. The drones scattered in their surroundings, some strolling directly towards Mark’s feet and others launching mid-air as a surprise attack.

“What the fuck?!” Mark dodged, capturing one of its devices, and crushed it in a single grip. As for Kori, distracted by their victory, her lungs extended, taking in her biggest breath to ease her fiery vigor.

“HEY! Watch out!” warned Mark.

Unaware of what his warning meant, Kori’s head swung in the direction of his voice—meeting the face of one of the spiders. Its small metallic legs latched onto her skin like a magnet, suffocating her airways with its massive stomach and muffling her panicked scream.

Her legs lose its balance, dropping on the cracked cement, fingers swiftly scraping against its metal rear. Her muffled screams grew in seconds, shortening the air she had left.

“I’m here! Hold on!” Called Mark, hovering over Kori, yanking the spider off to crush it between his fingers.

Not even a second passed of freedom. Kori swiftly beamed off the ground, tackling Mark along the way and through a building until both made land on a busy road, traffic built from both lanes.

More destruction was created. Cars were tossed over the sidewalks, shattering the glasses of high-priced stores. The road crumbled after the hard landing. Its horrific sight forced civilians to evacuate the area without a second look.

As for Mark and Kori, she had him pinned down with a knee, forming a mist to finish off what she thought was a Flaxan. “Hey! Hey! I’m not the bad guy!” Mark waved his forearms over his face for cover.

“Oh. You.” Her inflame expression softens, lowering her palm and knee beside his hip. ‘Great. Now take her in.’ Spoke Cecil.

“Give me a second, will you?” exhaled Mark, soothing his fretted nerves after enduring Kori’s attack. ‘You have plenty of time to rest; bring her back to the fortress so I can get this questioning over with.’

His arms lay restless on either side, forgetting that Kori still had him pinned beneath. Her flourishing pupils hiked his features—which wasn’t much to see since it was hidden by his mask—then down his stiff abdomen that shaped his side muscles and abs to understand his costume's appearance.

‘What a strange attire.’ thought Kori. Is he Earth’s defender? What makes him so different?

Her fingertips surface Mark’s chest, his warm ambiance radiating through hers, so solid, so rugged. She embraced over his nape, closing the gap between their bodies.

“Cecil, you don’t have to remind me. I got this.”

She had to thank him. She wanted to. Somehow. Without awareness of what Mark got himself into, Kori brought her lips to his, her fingers sneaking their way through his black layers smoothly.

The kiss was chaste and soft. His lips flinched at her sudden touch, unrecognizing it since he only connected with Ambers. Resisting is to be his motive.

Yet he could feel a hunger coursing through his veins, from her hand exploring his hair and the other tracing from his nape to the jawline. It's almost like it’s been something he wanted all this time besides being a hero.

After all, humans have needs. To be satisfied. Desired. Distracted. For Mark, it was what he wanted with Amber.

As Kori casually unbinds their kiss, Mark leans in. Warm and desperate this time, like he was dying for a kiss that wasn’t as sweet and melting as Kori’s. His hand slips below her ear, running his fingertips through her red hair, and his other over her outer thigh to grip her hip.

The vitality she felt radiating off him was no longer the same. He’s all heat and impulse. Their mouths intertwined like ribbons, drowning Kori with the lack of air, flushing her lips and cheeks.

Tasting her breath, lips and touching her soft skin felt goddamn good. He completely had lost himself in the moment, forgetting the world surrounding them.

Mark sensed her fingers slipping along from his kiss overpowering hers. His grip digs her skin, holding her head in place as he separates her lips by slanting his mouth. And without hesitation, in a whimper Kori surrendered to his control.

With tension and thirst crowding them in the air, Mark wasted no minute by switching positions. His body hovering over hers, legs curled over his hips and hands exploring every inch of each other’s body as if they had touched no one.

Behind his mask, his eyes were wild and feral. Losing itself by her alluring appearance. Shimmering green eyes, orange skin, and fiery red hair. She was unlike any alien he encountered. Too bad english isn’t her language.

‘Mark what are you doing?’

Cecil snapped him back to reality, breaking their kiss with a hiss, and separated himself from her touch. “Shit. Fuck. I’m coming, Cecil.” Mark lets out a breath, regaining the lost air he had.

Kori smiled with her cheeks. Her fingers barely touching her lips as the kiss still felt present to her. “I admire your boldness to copulate. But I’m unsure if I’m ready to mate.”

“Huh?” A brow lifts. Unsure if he was daydreaming or not.

"I'm Koriand'r of Tamaran. Our kind can learn language by the acting of kissing. And you are?"

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Little Sun" - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[This is a work of fiction. Slapping your partner is physical abuse.]

SUMMARY: Nikolai left Ravka to gather whatever aid he can get for his home but he comes back because he promised you.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.2k

Apparently, Коля [Kolya] is short for Nikolai and it's the cutest thing I've heard in my life. Also, let me know if you're fine with just Cyrillic or do you want me to include Latinized spelling in the future.

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

Tolya and Tamar have a bet. Not a very dramatic piece of information if one knows a thing or two about the siblings. But it’s the nature of the bet, not its sole existence, that’s so interesting - it’s their longest unresolved wager:

The whole thing started when they noticed Sturmhond saying “Солнышко would love this” to himself. Most of the time it’s a whisper, a stray thought that somehow wriggled free out of his mind at a sight of a sunset, a panorama of a city or a treasure his crew found - if something is worth appreciation, the enigmatic “Солнышко” would surely want to see it. Judging by the softness with which the captain says those words, Tolya and Tamar are disillusioned that “солнышко” is merely a term of endearment for someone close to Sturmhond’s heart. What directly sparked their bet was whether this hopeless love is returned. Tolya, probably biased by the poetry he so eagerly reads, was convinced that they were witnessing a dramatic love story of a princess and a sea dog or something along those lines. Tamar, however, remained more cynical in her judgement - whoever the lady is, she probably doesn’t spare the privateer much thought, if she’s even aware of his existence. Little did they know, the answer awaited them on the other side of the Fold.

The sanctuary is never quiet nor is it ever boring. Although its population doesn’t impress, the determined freedom fighters rarely catch a break, keeping the beehive constantly buzzing. People coming to and fro, the noise of neverending chatter, footsteps echoing through the grand halls and in the middle - you, one responsibility away from completely losing your mind.

You’re doing your rounds, utilising the march between ‘checkpoints’ to talk with Dima, a quite hyperactive Fabrikator, about his new project. It looks promising but you’ve learned to expect nothing less from the boy. He’s tripping over his feet because his gaze is boring into you, looking for any sign of approval or disapproval, and not the tiles in front of him. 

The parchment rustles as you look through the blueprints. “That’s a lot of iron…” you say quietly. Pondering the schematic, you habitually rub your jaw. “If First Army is to use this on the battlefield, it needs to be lighter, so fewer soldiers have to man it. Some parts ought to be substituted with wood. Maybe these two?” You point to fairly small elements on the blueprint, which look to be part of the traction mechanism. Dima conceptualized a machine built on impressively complicated, codependent systems - one change is going to influence all the other parts, which in turn will circle back to the substitute and put a different strain on it.

Dima gasps. "My lady,” his voice is quiet, breathy.

Suddenly, the boy stops but you don’t think much about it. You stand beside him, still eyeing the blueprint in search of ways to save the more scarce resources without endangering the quality of the firearm. 

“I know it’s going to be difficult, Dima,” you forestall his complaint. “We also don’t want this whole thing to shatter after firing the first round but there’s only so much-.”

"My lady, he's back,” he interrupts you.

You look up at Dima with furrowed eyebrows. But the boy doesn’t meet your eye - instead, he’s looking away towards something, or someone, by the entrance to the sanctuary; a haunted glint hiding in his pupils. Confused, you follow his gaze to the door, only to feel your heart stop for a moment:

The blond hair, the elegant kaftan with aiglets and the insufferable, juvenile confidence written on his face.

"Мой Коля,” you say barely above a whisper. The world smudges and blurs as tears fill your eyes.

Not having much care about the stoic image you’re supposed to maintain, you shove the schematics back into Dima’s hands (he nearly drops them) and rush to the ghost who’s been haunting your thoughts for far too long, pushing through people standing in your path.

The phantom becomes flesh and bones only when you feel his arms wrap around you, pulling you tightly to himself. The scent of seaweed and resin lingers on his clothes as though he was born a sea dog and became a prince by sheer coincidence. You hear Nikolai take in a deep breath, his nose buried in your hair. This feels almost too good to be true but good enough to be a cruel joke.

A minute or two passes by and even then it’s difficult for you to lean away to look at his face - Nikolai seems absolutely unwilling at letting you go again anytime soon. Literally and figuratively.

"I was beginning to lose hope," you say quietly. Although his eyes remain just as mischievous as they usually are, a hint of softness hides inside them.

"You know me, солнышко,” he says with a grin on his face. The pet name makes your chest both tighten and burst with passion you have nearly forgotten. After a long period of emptiness and coldness, this scorching devotion is burning you alive. “I promised you I'd come back."

Only when his warm hand reaches to wipe away your tears do you realize you’ve been crying all this time. Even if you tried, there’s no way of stopping this - all of the nights you’d spent worrying and all the days you’d been yearning for him, they finally find their outlet in this longed-for reunion. You’ve imagined his tragic death so many times, you can hardly believe all of that was just an atrocity of your mind.

“Please, stop crying,” Nikolai whispers while relentlessly wiping your face, “or I’m going to cry too and I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of our guests.”

A chuckle of both disbelief and overwhelming relief escapes your lips. Even now, at such a heartfelt moment, he can’t help his humour but Saints’ did you miss it.

You sniffle. Absentmindedly, your fingers trace the smooth material of his kaftan. Not a cut or a burn on this textile, as though it beared to witness to combat. "You’ve been gone for so long, I don't know if I should kiss or slap you."

He gives you a playful, questioning look. "Can I choose?"

"Not a chance."

Nikolai gasps when he feels your hand against his face. The strength of the slap was nowhere near to the punch Alina threw at him not too long ago but considering who you are, it aches incomparably more. To a degree, he understands that he might, after all, deserve some of your anger. Aside from the misguided, love-fueled belief you’ve always had in him, you had virtually no reason to think he’s alive, mourning him each time you lay in bed alone - until now.

He doesn’t have a chance to form a response to your outburst as you grab both sides of his face and clash your lips against his. That’s something Nikolai can condone and he does so with a nearly obscene lack of hesitation or reluctance. His arms hold your waist in a tight embrace. The saltwater on his skin tastes like insufferable youth and fabulous adventures. For a moment, you let yourself forget about the pending civil war, thinking only about the warm, soft lips you’ve missed so dearly. Your Коля came back to you, so everything is perfectly fine.

At the same time, Tolya turns to look at his sister with a proud grin. “Told you,” he says nudging her arm but Tamar only scoffs and shakes her head.

[kunikame]

# PURPLE LILACS !

[05] - perhaps he's into you ! | prev. | m. list | next

ace trappola x fem!reader smau

! warning(s) : cussing, miss-spellings in the tweets & texts, slight lilia lore spoilers, common jamil and azul behavior ("kys" used 2 times) ! w/c : 1k

when lilia vanrouge says he's coming over, he usually appears approximately 20 seconds after he warned you of his upcoming arrival, dressed in his dorm uniform.

tonight, however, your favorite fae-stie barely gives you a second to prepare before he appears in your room in a puff of green mist and his pink silky pajama set (yes, the one much like shaggy wore in the loch ness monster scooby-doo movie, just in pink). 

"what's up what's up what's uuup~!" he sing-songs, dropping down gracefully on the edge of your bed.

"hi, lils. cater?"

"on his way, do not fret. i brought some diasomnia snacks! and–"

"did you make them."

"no, he did not," said a monotone voice from somewhere. upon realizing it was not lilia who spoke, you turn toward the source, only to see malleus draconia (alias hornton) in the flesh, causing you to very nearly die of a heart attack.

okay, you might be over exaggerating. a little.

"--and malleus, i hope you don't mind. he wanted to join 'girls' night," the musician grins.

“nah, he’s welcome to join any time, i’m just not quite sure he’ll find it entertaining,” you say as you turn to look at the raven haired fae, “make yourself at home, hornton. i’ll go get the drinks and wait for cay.”

you spot grim playing with the resident ghosts in the living room area on your way to the (severely run down) kitchen. before you can even fully step into the room, you hear a few light knocks on the door and take a sharp turn towards the entrance instead. what greets you there is a heavily shaking individual known as cater diamond dressed in only his pajamas, carrying some baked goods (courtesy to trey) and his phone.

“w-what’s up what-’s up what’s u-u-uup?!”

a beat of silence passes and you momentarily consider just shutting the door in his face because how and why the fuck are riddle rosehearts and deuce spade also here. you can handle malleus, he’s much like a pet rock, but riddle in the same room with lilia and cater? you think your hair might start graying a bit early.

“riddle and deuce! what are you guys doing here?” you step aside to let them in with a strained smile only to glare daggers at your good friend behind their backs.

“cater insisted i come along and ‘hang out’ with ‘the girls’ for a bit. he said i need to mingle with people my age more to be able to keep up with the trends, or something along those lines, i believe. i don’t see a purpose behind me being here however, so i can take my leave if you’d rather keep it to a close circle discussion– i can’t leave trey to watch over the entire dorm either, i am housewarden, after all.”

“i got pulled along against my will.”

the drastic difference in their response, reasoning and length struck you like lightning for a mere second, “oh– uh, no, don’t worry, you’re all good, riddle. you can stay if you wish to! i won’t keep you against your will though. same goes for you, deuce. you just have to promise whatever you hear tonight stays between us.”

“not to worry, the queen of hearts rule number 14 states that secrets must stay between included parties. may the queen strike me down herself lest i break a rule.”

“anywayy~ after all this chitter chatter cay-cays’s gotten hungryyy and treys’ home-baked tarts are directly under my nose! it would be a crime to not eat them! shoo-shoo, up we go!"

a couple hours have passed since the guys arrival, and everything's been going well so far. it was quite a shock for the heartslabyul trio to find the malleus draconia here at first as well, but they’ve slowly warmed up to him and began to consider him as ‘one of the girls’. the conversation’s been flowing well and the night was filled with shared laughs and stories.

you were just finishing up recounting the recent happenings with ace to fill everyone in on the details when malleus spoke.

“i believe he might just be.. ‘into you’, was it?” he turned to lilia for confirmation, who nodded abruptly. “that’s what i’m saying! the little bat just won’t believe me,” he said, leaning onto cater (who nods along in agreement while patting his bandmate) dramatically, as if you not believing his nonsense caused him a fatal wound. so much for being a war general, this guy is a drama general at best.

“lils, he hates me.”

“enemies to lovers, i say! enemi–”

“on the contrary, i think he quite likes you, actually,” the redheaded housewarden speaks up from the corner he’s sat in, “you’re almost all he talks about recently.”

“oh, you’re right! i asked him about our alchemy homework last week and he found some way to bring you up, even in that conversation. ‘i wonder if [name]’s done it yet? should we ask? i hope she’s not struggling with her studies. perhaps we could help her out’ like, shut up,” said deuce, popping some candy in his mouth with a clearly annoyed look in his eyes. if you didn’t know him any better, you’d think he was jealous of his friend.

that forced you to stop and think for a moment. if it were anyone else (a picture of lilia and cater appears in your minds eye and you have to fight back a smile) saying it, you probably wouldn’t have paid it much mind, but if it’s the people closest to him, then perhaps there’s some truth behind the seemingly empty words?

“i have an idea, if i may,” all eyes turn to malleus (who.. you forgot was even here, with how quiet he was the entire time), eyebrows raised in question, “if you’re so unsure of his intentions and feelings, why not test them?”

the 2 light music club members eyes lit up at that and you felt an impending sense of doom.

and that’s how you found yourself dancing with deuce, then malleus, then riddle, then... all of them, for some reason? it was awkward initially, but the longer it went on the more fun it was, and perhaps you could say this was one of your best nights spent in twisted wonderland.

being erased from your own world be damned.

## ❝ after the events of the phantom bride wedding, ace started wondering whether he still had the ability to charm girls. he hasn’t thought about anyone romantically in years, hasn’t really flirted with anyone either, what if he’s gone out of it? perhaps it’s time to put his talents to the test; with the person who hates him most, no less. if he can charm her, he can charm anyone. ❞

#TAGLIST ! : @solxima @gabirii @lunavixia @y2unagiz @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @borlining @verity-moon @myunghology @doughnuts-eater @lifeless-bug @babygurlenthusiast @shirishere @xopeach @stormyovent0aster @bontensbabygirl @ars-tral @wrathy-mcwrathface @sinofthesloth @skeet-2 @everettelz @sakuram1nt @shatiyuh @ambigrueity // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you're in bold i can't tag you)

[syn4k]

One busy evening at Sanctuary's Tavern, one of the rare ones where Pix was able to visit, Sausage was waiting a bar where some of his fellow emperors sat, all chattering amongst themselves and most listening intently to his tale of how he saved Sanctuary from himself. (Technically, he was right! It was just a couple timelines away, and he still counted it as being him.)

"And then Hermes- well, you already know what Hermes did," he concluded cheerfully, polishing a glass. "He did so well!"

"He really did," Joel agreed with a nod. He'd been wrangled into some casual clothes and a much less conspicuous height of 6'0 for the purposes of this evening, reaching the same height as Pixl as he sat on a bar stool. "Cheers to my boy!"

"Cheers!" repeated the rest of the table, raising their glasses in celebration. Jimmy downed his entire glass of tequila, coughing a little, and pushed it towards Sausage for a refill, who frowned.

"Now, Jimmy," he started, "I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to have any more this evening."

"Aw, come on," protested Jimmy, who was a notable lightweight and had downed 4 glasses of alcohol before this one.

"You know how you get when you've had too much to drink," said Sausage patiently but firmly.

"I do not, actually, thank you very much!" said Jimmy, crossing his arms with his face flushed. Fwhip, who had once gotten into a vicious bar fight with the man after too many glasses of his own, just coughed, earning himself a glare from Jimmy and a slight raising of eyebrows from Pixl, who was looking at something that Joel was showing him on his phone.

"Anyways," said Sausage, "you can have water. Just water. As much water as you want!"

Jimmy sulked and looked like he was about to protest, but after a warning elbow jab from Fwhip he shut his mouth.

"That spell you mention using to get out of the prison Bratwurst put you in sounds pretty interesting," said Pixl now, taking a sip of his own drink. "Must be a pretty powerful one if it can break restrictions that strong."

"Mhm," said Sausage, turning around to get some more ingredients for a drink that another patron had called for. "Very old, very dangerous, but the only one that would work in this situation."

"I guess you're not gonna tell us how to do it, then, will you?" asked Joel lightly.

Sausage shook his head. "Oh, no," he said, quite cheerfully. "You'd get vaporized in at least five planes, seven dimensions, and three timeliness. That's if you just pronounce a word wrong!"

"Oh," said Jimmy. The table was silent for a bit before he spoke up again. "Does the recipe include like, end crystals or something?"

"Nope," said Sausage. "Just some simple stuff like a piece of paper, a compass, some candles..."

"Ooh, candles," said Joel, taking another sip of his drink. "Did you trade them from Gem or something?"

"Nope," said Sausage airily, walking across the bar to hand the glass to the patron. Returning, he explained, "They were just lying about in some random universe when I found them and used them for the spell. Don't worry, I only took like, sixteen. That was all I needed."

"Weirdly specific, but okay," said Fwhip with a shrug. "Pix, you good over there?"

Sausage turned around to see Pixl looking slightly scandalized at his description of his actions. He shook his head with a silent sigh, waving it off with one hand. "Yeah, yeah, no. I'm sure it was for a good cause."

"Saving the entire world!" interjected Sausage brightly.

"Exactly," said Pixl, not sounding like he was done. Fwhip hid a grin behind one hand. "However,"

"Shot yourself in the foot, mate," said Jimmy.

"-however," repeated Pixl, shooting him a look, "as the local archaeologist, I cannot endorse those kinds of actions." He took a sip of his drink as Sausage stood there slightly awkwardly, looking to one side for anyone who might need anything as an easy way out. "But that's just me being an arse about it." He shrugged. "There was nobody there to ask anyways."

In Sausage's head ever since he'd merged himself with the other timelines' versions of him, he occasionally got vague senses or flashes of feelings in the back of his mind from those other versions, who were vaguely picking up on what he was experiencing. Sometime these were some instructions for a spell, or his hands being taken over for a brief moment to perform an action that had been muscle memory for him in another timeline (or so he assumed), but at their simplest they were flashes of memories or emotions as this one was.

Somewhere, it seemed, Bratwurst himself had perked up at the mention of his name, recognized Pixl's voice, and had frantically started sending the mental equivalent of "cut it out" hand motions to Sausage... but why?

"Be right back," said Sausage, hopping over the counter with a grin. "Duty calls." The groans that followed him as he found his way to the bathroom and locked the door behind him told him that he'd distracted his guests, at least for the moment, and he sat down on the toilet seat with a sigh, placing his head in his hands. What is it? he asked into the void.

An image of a sandstone pillar in the vague shape of a candle with a conduit floating above appeared in his mind's eye, and he nodded in recognition. That's the Vigil, he said. I know it. But what's the problem?

You took candles from the Vigil? asked Bratwurst with a tone that Sausage had not heard from him before. And not from the candle shop nearby?

I had to be quick, protested Sausage. They were right there and I didn't even know where the shop was!

A general grumbling filled his mind, and he hurriedly shushed them. Guys, he said desperately. I only took the ones that I needed.

Dios mío, someone sighed.

I need to get back there! Sausage said. Please just tell me what the big deal is!

You, said Bratwurst slowly and with utter seriousness, do not mess with the Vigil. A shiver ran down Sausage's spine, but he stubbornly pushed it off. It'll be fine, he reassured. He doesn't remember.

The copper king remembers everything, said Bratwurst, and an image of a man who looked startlingly like Pixl but wearing a sand-covered cloak embossed with copper-colored threads and with a fiercer sort of aura about him popped into his brain. Sausage knew somehow- he didn't dare press- that this Pixl had killed Bratwurst, and in cold blood as well, and he shivered, but again pushed the sensation aside and kept firm. Different timeline, he said. I'll be fine.

You're taking too long, another voice warned, and with a silent sigh Sausage removed his face from his hands, shook his head to get himself back to reality, and walked back to the bar.

"Welcome back," said Joel as Sausage reentered the counter area, using the proper gate this time. "Congratulations on not falling in."

Sausage just chuckled as Fwhip punched Joel on the shoulder. "I try my best," he said.

Pix caught his eye and gestured him over, and suddenly Sausage's chest felt uncomfortably tight with anxiety. Stop it, he ordered. I know this guy. We're fine.

"I just wanted to say sorry about earlier," said Pixl in a low voice that the others couldn't hear. "I didn't mean to upset you. I know you were completely justified by doing that, it's just a bit of a close subject for me." He sighed. "Still, that was entirely unprovoked. Eddie got me a glass of water after I asked."

Sausage relaxed, though adrenaline was still racing through his blood at the serious, intent stare he was getting. "You're okay," he lied. "You didn't upset me at all. It was just bad timing, that's it."

Pix looked at him for a little longer. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Sausage froze. "Well," he started before getting hit with a jolt of sheer fear so strong that he ran to backtrack instantly. "No, actually. Thank you, though!" He stood up and turned back to the bar shelves, pulse racing. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He'd responded too fast. He'd stood up too fast. Pixl could absolutely tell, and so could everyone else. He was going to kill-

With an effort, Sausage slammed a wall down between him and the rest of his brain so hard that his head throbbed a little with the force of it.

"Is there anyone here who can maybe carry Jimmy out of here?" asked Fwhip, tilting his head toward the man in question, who had his head resting on his folded arms.

"Me and Joel and Eddie can handle it just fine," Sausage said confidently. "Jimmy's not very heavy."

"I could probably lift him myself," declared Joel.

"Oh, dear," said Sausage, determinedly not looking anywhere near Pixl and watching a relatively large group of very rowdy youths walk in instead. "Un momento, por favor."

Thankfully, it didn't take him and Eddie too long to redirect them out into the street and to a local inn, which, given the state that the group was in, Sausage was sure that money wouldn't be a problem for them. He dusted his hands off as Eddie walked back inside into the loud laughter and light of the tavern, turned around, and startled as Pixl was leaning right next to one of the doors, arms crossed. Sausage was glad he couldn't see his expression.

"Hi," he said, unable to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "Is this about-"

"The candles, yes," said Pixl, not sounding at all tipsy or drunk, which was a good thing, Sausage guessed. "Could you please tell me where exactly you got them?"

Sausage swallowed nervously. "Exactly, or...?"

"Exactly," repeated Pixl.

Shit.

Sausage looked him over quickly. No weapons were allowed at the tavern, and he didn't see anything lying nearby, but Pix was incredibly resourceful when it came to PvE, and he did not doubt for a second that he'd be just as good when fighting another person. An image popped into his mind then of that other Pix in a strange arena surrounded by wither roses, moving fluidly around the obstacles despite being blinded, and taking terrifyingly accurate swings at the enemies coming towards him-

Pix sighed. "I won't press it," he said, standing up and walking back towards the door. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on, but I didn't mean to ruin your evening." He paused at the door as Sausage inhaled.

"How," he asked, "did you know about the candles?"

Pix understood the question despite its vagueness. "Something I've been researching for years," he said, voice dropping. "An ancient kingdom called Pixandria. They- a large part of their holy rituals included candles. Sausage."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT.

"Sausage," Pix repeated again, sounding more concerned this time.

"Okay, I took them," said Sausage quickly, stepping backwards. "But only sixteen. I didn't know about the candle shop or the bee farm or anything, I was going for speed. If I had known-" He paused, trying to slow down a little. "I'm sorry," he finished, breathlessly. "Please don't do anything. It was a mistake. I didn't mean anything by it."

In the moonlight, he could see Pix still standing there by the door, hesitating. It opened and Pix stepped backwards, the light casting his face in a golden glow, and Sausage stepped backwards to make way for the people who were leaving.

"You did what?" asked Pixl in disbelief, and Sausage felt his whole body tense up in preparation of a fight, to run, anything. He fucked up. He was absolutely about to die and it was his fault. He stepped backwards as Pixl stepped forwards, then quicker as Pix broke into a half jog to reach him-

"Hey," said Pix as he grabbed Sausage's shoulders with iron strength. "Sausage. Look at me. Look at me."

Sausage took a deep breath and looked up, fully expecting Pixl's face to be a mask of perfect fury, his eyes glinting behind those rectangular glasses, but instead, Pix just looked slightly confused and... worried?

"I was just going to ask if you wanted to take a break," he said, and in his voice Sausage heard a desperation that he had never heard from him before. No, he had. In another life, he had. The voice of a man who had unknowingly caused the unleashing of an ancient evil and exiled himself shortly after, and once after that again for good. The voice of someone that Bratwurst had once celebrated when he learned that he was gone.

The voice of a friend.

"I didn't mean to overwhelm you," said Pixl, more gently now, stepping back and looking uncharacteristically anxious. "I was just caught off guard. I'm sorry. This whole evening- I've ruined it, haven't I?"

No, Sausage wanted to say, it's me, you've done nothing, but his tongue stayed dumb in his mouth as Pixl continued.

"I can go tell Eddie that you've turned in early because you got overwhelmed," he said. "I'll tell the same to everyone else. I just-" He paused, and even in the dim moonlight Sausage could tell by the shadows cast on his face that he was fighting to explain something that he just couldn't put into words. Sausage stepped forwards tentatively, and Pix glanced back up.

"I think," Sausage said, voice growing stronger as he continued, "that we're both dealing with stuff that's too complicated to be explained while standing outside on a dark street. I got spooked, but," he sighed, "please- just don't take all of the blame on yourself, okay?" He paused. "People mess up sometimes. Doesn't mean you have to forgive me. I'm just saying that you're okay."

Pixl nodded. "I wasn't even mad," he said. "Just startled. I think- I think that maybe a wire got crossed somewhere."

In Sausage's head, Bratwurst snorted. That's definitely one way to put it.

Sausage ignored him, holding out a hand. "So... we're good?"

Pix nodded, taking his hand, but instead of shaking it, he let go to give Sausage a hug, his forehead pressing on top of his shoulder. Sausage fumbled a little before returning it, his racing mind stopped mid-thought in surprise. In the back of his mind, he heard someone chuckle. I told you he'd forgive you, they said.

Mmmm, responded Bratwurst.

Pix gently backed out of the hug, exhaling. "Yeah," he said, voice sounding much lighter now. "I'd say we're good."

Sausage nodded awkwardly. "So, are you going back in or..?"

"Are you?" asked Pix.

Sausage paused before nodding again.

"Alright," said Pixl, stepping backwards a pace and waiting for Sausage to follow him before turning around and heading back towards the tavern's large double doors. "I know you insisted that we would all get free drinks this evening, but I'm paying for mine-"

"Pix, please," said Sausage. "You really don't have to-"

"-but I'm paying for mine and that's final," Pix interrupted firmly. "If you won't accept it then I'm either handing it to Eddie or breaking into your house when you're out doing something and putting it into wherever you keep your money."

He looked back at Sausage, who understood that he either had to hand over the money or tell Pixl where his safe was, and it wasn't that he didn't trust Pix inside his house, but he didn't want any more trouble over this. "Okay."

"Thought so," said Pixl with a nod, opening the door and holding it for him.

"However," Sausage said as soon as the door closed shut behind the two of them, loudly in order to be heard over the resounding din, "you get a 50% discount and this is also non-negotiable."

Pixl's face fell a little and Sausage had to laugh. "Non-negotiable!" he crowed as he slipped behind the counter again. "I'm holding you to this, Pix!"

"Did you lose a bet?" asked Fwhip.

"You could say," answered Pix delicately. Joel looked at him questionably, but was silenced by Fwhip shaking his head.

"So," Fwhip said cheerfully and oddly smugly, effortlessly changing the subject. "Centaurs have six legs and are therefore insects. Discuss."

"Oh, you little," said Joel with a growl as everyone within a two meter radius immediately started shouting at Fwhip.

[windvexer]

what spells would you recommend for trying to grow a discord server?

Feed the server and make it fat and happy. It will begin to expand on its own, like an eldritch monster unfurling its tentacles.

To feed a Discord server so it grows fat and happy and expands like an eldritch monster:

I have for you two methods. The first is feeding an effigy, and the second is direct energy work.

Create an effigy of your Discord server, and feed it physical offerings:

Create an effigy. Here are some ideas.

a dollie or a poppet, your idealization of what creature the server might look like if it were a guy, marked with the server ID as a taglock

a sachet or container filled with server taglocks (name, ID, date of birth, printed "About Server" content, etc)

a sigil based on the name and purpose of the server

Create and awaken the effigy in your usual manner. Then, keep it in a nice location and often feed it physical offerings. This may include food, beverages, luxury gifts like liquor and tobacco, candles, and incense.

Feed it as often as you like, even daily. When you feed it, make it clear that it should be going out to find new members and bring them in. Encourage it to soothe potential members so they are willing to go through any membership validation processes, and any other instructions you think are helpful.

Directly energize the server:

In a trance state, seek out the energetic core of the discord server and directly feed it energy. This is not the same thing as energizing the physical device which you are using to view the server.

Try using an energy working technique similar to "grounding roots," except instead of growing roots into the earth, you are growing tendrils into the internet.

It can help to focus on an admin-only sigil channel (described below), and you can also energetically feed an effigy (described above).

A candle spell may work well for a temporary boost to membership.

A candle spell to get people to join your Discord server:

Energize a candle of any color. Here are ideas of energies to capitalize on:

Mercurial, mercury

Drawing in, creating

Visualizations of members joining

Air

On or around the candle holder, in whatever fire-safe manner you prefer, encircle the candle in honey or sugar (to sweeten; make pleasant), and include allspice berries or ground allspice (chatter, movement, exchange).

Enchant and seal the candle in your preferred method.

The candle flame may provide a helpful omen.

Before modern architecture where frames supported a building, buildings used to rest on the weight of their walls. This necessitated hugely fortified walls to support the structure.

Likewise, a server that grows too rapidly may not have the necessary framework available to support it, and collapse under its own weight.

Be preemptive and build large walls around your server, to provide necessary support while inner frameworks are developed and expanded.

To work a protection on a server, a blog, or any online space:

Prepare a jar spell using:

an opaque black stone (obsidian, jet, and tourmaline work well for you rock collectors; also, river rocks and landscaping rocks painted black; lava rocks, or found stones very dark in color), [an impregnable wall]

a tangle of knotted thread (any color), [to 'trip up' unwanted things]

an iron nail [a knight with sword and shield standing guard]

To this, add two things:

a paper with the server ID number (or, URL of the web group)

a sigil for the purpose of protection

Enchant the jar in your usual manner. Then:

in an admin-only hidden channel of the server, include a photograph of the spell jar and upload a photograph of the sigil for the purpose of protection.

This entire operation is elevated if the ward is tied to a ruleset members must agree to on joining.

[granulesofsand]

How intentional switching works for us (swears included):

Option 1: Opting out

As an adaptive system, we learned to switch like this first. When whoever is out simply Cannot anymore, they turn tail and run. It’s usually quick, like flinging yourself back, and we started with it because of traumatic overwhelm. But we still do it. Sometimes it is still noping out, like refusing to take out the trash and making it someone else’s problem. Other times it’s more amiable, like throwing myself out of front so they can pet the cat. It’s fast, forces whoever is near or whoever is equipped out, and can lead to new alters or blank spells if no one steps forward. Time loss is on the table if it’s overwhelm hauling your ass out the door.

Option 2: Tag, you’re it

We were lucky (in a way) to have learned cooperative switching early in some parts of the system. Our perps taught us how to encourage out of body experiences, and we use that to loosen our grip on executive control. Once you’re not in the body, you can find a way into an inner landscape or take a nap. We visualize different gates in different places, and leaving the body for us means abandoning our senses on our way out. It gets bright, vast in an everywhere and nowhere kind of way, and then we find the place we want to be instead. Whoever wants to come forward can, and we can co-front or stay co-conscious by choosing not to take a gate. Can also lead to blank spells if no one switches in.

Option 3: Get fucked

Instead of tossing myself out, I yoink whoever is fronting away so I can rush in behind them. It takes more mental power for us to throw them further, so they usually stay co-con unless there’s a reason for them to be unaware. If whoever is there holds front better than I do, it might not work. Like opting out, we got the skill from hard times and use it more to our own whims now. This is the easiest way for us to converse externally, or go to events on schedule. People who are okay with being moved don’t fight it, and it’s less effort to push around others than getting everyone dissociated in a crowded front.

The slow but stable Option 2 takes less visualization with practice, and we once did an exercise with passing consciousness around like a talking stick. Expecting the switch and taking a nice middle amount of time to do it lowers the chances of headaches for us, where very quick and very sticky switches cause pain more reliably.

Option 1 is the hardest to visualize for us. It’s like leaning back too far and falling out of your chair. Option 3 can go either way, looking like someone squabbling with you over your spot or suddenly being inside or waking up and it’s next month.

I do recommend imagination in some capacity (if not visual) to guide the switch. If you’re stepping away from your senses, implement new senses internally; maybe it’s always a comfortable temperature inside, or you can hear chatter the closer you get to the others, or there’s a stoney wall to trace back to your hangout. What is consciousness to you? Do you look out into it, hold it, sink into it?

Have a plan for who’s going where and how they’re doing that, and start by mapping out how it already happens if it does. Add to it, get used to it.

Not all systems can switch intentionally, but you don’t know if you don’t try. It’s not such a leap of faith when you understand what you’re doing, and it gets easier the more you do it.

[veryace-ficrecs]

Tim Drake & Jason Todd Angst Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

in the planter outside my front door by CosmoKid - Rated G

When Tim’s six years old, his third-grade class takes a field trip to the old firehouse in The Narrows.

By the age of seven years old, he’s learned that there’s a difference between pain and Pain, and that while adults are generally happy to deal with pain, they do not enjoy you talking about Pain.

These two things may be related.

This Dark Ceiling Without a Star by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday - Rated M

“For fuck’s sake, your chatter is going to drive me crazy faster than this stupid spell.” “Then you talk!” “There’s no point!” Jason snaps. “I can feel it, okay. It’s—there’s no emotion behind it, it’s not using my thoughts. It’s just a bunch of weird Greek echoing in my brain and a compulsion to act. And it’s getting stronger. Talking isn’t going to slow it down.” “Then what will slow it down?” After five long seconds of silence, Tim gives into the urge and viciously jabs his fist into Jason’s leg for the second time. “Goddammit, why?” Jason snaps, green briefly sparking in his eyes before disappearing just as quickly. “You are not seriously going to just sit there and wait to die.” “The hell do you care anyway?” “Because I don’t want you to die! Obviously!” “You fucking should.” 

unaware i'm tearing you asunder by hendecagrisms - Rated T

The pieces were starting to click into place, aligning to create a deeply disturbing picture. “Are you seriously saying you’ll become a missing person and fake your death for this stupid homecoming plan?” Jason interrupted, his voice full of as much judgmental incredulity as possible. The kid’s eyes skated back over to him, his face twitching into a brief frown. “What? No.” A pause. “I mean, we could do that instead, if you wanted. But to fool Batman I’d need facial reconstruction surgery and new papers and it would all have to be untraceable—,” he broke off with a scoff, shaking his head slightly. “No, it’s just smarter and more cost-efficient to do it for real.” - Tim learns about Jason Todd's return, does some research on the Lazarus Pit, and realizes that there might be a way to solve multiple problems all at once: removing himself from the picture. For some strange reason, the Red Hood doesn't seem keen on cooperating.

Grin and Bear It (I got blood on your carpet) by Alia_JuneBug - Not Rated

When Jack Drake’s business trip gets canceled, he is forced to stay at home while the legal kinks get worked out. He’s not used to having a teenager underfoot, so it’s only rational that he’s a little snappish around Tim. At least, that’s what Tim tells himself each time his dad’s idea of discipline gets harsher. Bruce had told him to take a break from Robin in order to spend some time at home with his dad, and Tim can’t say no to that. He knows Bruce is probably glad to be rid of him for a short while. And he can handle discipline. This is a Tim Drake problem, not a Robin problem anyway. There’s no need for Bruce to know anything. Things get a little muddled when an injured Jason Todd crawls through his bedroom window.

Thrown into the Storm by ThePokeOne - Rated T

"It figured, Tim thought as he trekked through Gotham's streets in one of the worst storms he'd ever seen. He'd been careless. So stupidly careless."

Or:

Tim gets kicked out, and Jason has a change of plans.

am i the only one pretending (i did it to myself) by rutaceae - Rated T

Tim doesn’t expect his latest civilian kidnapping to be any different from the rest, but when he remembers things best left buried in the past, things take a turn for the worse. Luckily, his family is here to help.

sallow skin (and they can’t look away) by Ghxst_Bird - Rated T

Bruce is off planet when Robin’s distress beacon is lit. He tries not to worry, but then Nightwing contacts him: Robin’s tracker leads straight into Gotham Bay.

1-800-ROBIN by spqr - Rated T

“Gotham Youth Mental Health Hotline, this is Jason speaking. Can I ask who I’m talking to?” There’s a long silence on the other end of the line, and then a small voice says, “I, um. Sorry, I don’t know why I called. This was a mistake. I’ll just hang up now.” “Hey, wait.” Jason drops his feet to the floor, sitting forward in his shitty cubicle. Suddenly his heart is racing and he’s not sure why, but he can’t let this kid hang up. “You don’t have to tell me your name. That’s okay. Just – why don’t you tell me why you’re calling?”

buy the ticket, take the ride by Anonymous - Rated M

Tim had always figured that if he ever woke up in Vegas sans-memory, it would be when he was older than fourteen. But there were some things he couldn’t control, and apparently whatever had happened last night that he didn’t remember was one of them.

hungry for strays by Ghxst_Bird - Rated T

Tim knows something is wrong with Batman and Nightwing, and somehow it all has to do with the new crime lord on the rise in crime alley. So of course he’s not going to stay at the manor while they’re out risking their lives. Tim leaves a note and sets out for intel on the Red Hood. Aka. Everyone is straight up not having a good time

Safe and Warm by sardonic_sprite - Rated G

Batman.

Batman lived right next door. Batman surely had a generator, or at least a fireplace and wood, or some way to get warm.

Batman took care of kids, and Mr. Wayne was really nice. He would at least let Tim warm himself back up. Maybe he could even stay just until the power came back on.

It was worth a shot.

Nervous Breakdown by AhsokaJackson - Rated T

Jay closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose to push back the encroaching headache. And possibly the admittedly ironic desire to strangle this kid for his lack of self-care instincts. "Tim. Timmy. Answer me this. Where exactly is the old man? Actually, better question: Why in the ever-living hell is the answer to that anything other than 'right here'?" Tim gave a huff that sounded more tired than defiant. "Because, like I said, it's a mild case and I don't need to be under observation. I already told Bruce the same thing I told you: I'm fine." "And he believed that."

Don't You Know? by sardonic_sprite - Rated T

“How the hell did you think taking everything the real Robin had was going to make him proud of you?” Jason snapped. “I didn’t want to take anything,” Replacement cried. “I wanted to save it. It… Batman… they were… everything was just… It was awful, and, and Gotham needed… but Robin…” The kid looked up at Jason, desperation in his eyes, like he was trying to find justification from his accuser. “I-I know he wouldn’t have wanted Batman to die.”

Living Dead Boy by Terranpheum - Rated T

Tim was having a normal night photographing Batman and mourning the dead when Jason Todd suddenly breaks out of his own grave. He's unresponsive and catatonic, and Tim knows there's no way he can leave the boy on his own. So, he brings him back to Drake Manor to try and help him recover. It goes… well?

Instead of All the Colors That I Saw by SilverSkiesAtMidnight - Rated T

Dick comes around to stand fully in front of him, keeping a steadying hand on Tim’s arm. “Just because you know you’re safe intellectually doesn’t mean you always feel safe,” he says softly. “It’s okay if you don’t feel safe.” “But it’s not okay!” Tim bursts out. “Because if I don’t feel safe, then how is Jason supposed to feel safe? He shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable just because my brain is screwed up!” There’s a faint sound by the door, barely more than an intake of breath, and his eyes snap to the no-longer empty doorway.

The Worst Kind of Crush by TimDrakeIsMyPatronus - Rated T

Civilians came first.  It was one of the foundational truths of being a superhero. Their job was to save civilians regardless of the personal cost. Each of them knew and understood the risks associated with the cape when they put it on.  Still, rules got fuzzy when one woke up underneath a building.  Or the one where a building explodes and Tim is trapped under the rubble

Last Request by destiny919 - Rated T

"Any last words, Replacement?" Red Hood casually crouches down in front of him. "Or how about a last request? I'm feeling generous. I'll do you one last favor before I clip those little wings. Whatever you want. Sky's the limit." There's only one thing he's ever really wanted from Jason Todd.

Echoes of You by SilverSkiesAtMidnight - Rated T

Graveyard mud, heavy and dark, clinging to a stained and torn suit. One shoe missing, a leg bent awkwardly and blood staining a bare foot.

Milk white skin beneath the mud, black hair hanging in muddy clumps around his ears. Blue eyes staring back at him, animal-bright and dilated in the brief moment before he flinches back from the light with a cry of pain that stabs through Jason to the soul.

His shaking hand closes around the flashlight before he can even think about it, cutting off the piercing beam and letting it spill out in shards between his fingers. For a petrifying moment as his eyes readjust, he’s sure that when he looks again, there will be nothing there.

“Tim?” he whispers.

The lean and ragged figure, tiny, god he’s so small, lowers his hands away from his face, away from his eyes wide and glittering almost silver in the moonlight.

Hands, mud-covered and torn. The red of his shredded fingernails is sickeningly dark in the broken light.

He’s vomiting before he even feels the bile making its way up his throat.

Petals for Armor by SilverSkiesAtMidnight - Rated T

There’s a small half-moon of blood under the white of Tim’s nail where he bent it. He studies the red of it, feeling foggy and dreamlike. “Can I ask you a question?” His brother’s eyes flick to him and away again, surprised and wary. “What?” His nail doesn’t hurt much, just the dullest of aches when he presses down against it. “When you were homeless, you slept with people for money, didn’t you?” Jason jerks like he’s been slapped. His knuckles are so pale where they grip the steering wheel they suddenly look more bone than flesh. “Did I -” “Was it worth it?” Tim asks, drifting like a cloud over whatever furious reaction Jason was about to give him. “The money, I mean.” His sternum slams into the seatbelt with bruising force. Unbraced for it, his head whips forward and back against his seat as they swerve off the road again and skid to a halt with a screech of rubber.

farthest you’ve ever flown by rutaceae - Rated T

When Jack Drake kicks Tim out in a rage, Tim, not wanting to be a bother, tries to make it work without getting the Bats involved. But he can only go so long without being found out, and it’s not Batman that ends up discovering his secret; it’s the Red Hood.

Familial Ties by AnonymousWhump - Rated T

What he wasn't expecting was to walk into the kitchen to find Tim,  yes Tim because he wasn't in the Robin outfit he was dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, was that blood on his feet?  Staring at him in shock, eyes flicking from him to the phone in his hand, before mumbling a quiet,

“Jason?”  

Or, Jason breaks into the Titan's Tower to hurt Robin but his plan is quickly derailed when he sees signs of abuse.

Drop In by iselsis - Rated T

Tim's injured, alone in Crime Alley, and the worst possible person finds him. And yet it doesn't turn out as badly as Tim expected.

Watch Your Step Dear by Redaliveviolation - Rated T

Tim was having a great time watching the Dynamic Duo race across Gotham. He was getting so many good photos and he never wanted these nights to end. Too bad the heroes aren’t around when he takes a trip off of the side of a building.