#incorrect james rhodes

[azerishi]

Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.

Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.

Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.

Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?

Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Tony: I’ll never get married.

Steve: I used to think that about myself too, but now I’m married to my best friend!

Tony: … [Looks at Rhodes]

Rhodes: Don’t even think about it.

[ir0npvrker]

tony: i wanna sleep for 50 hours

rhodey: you know that’s called a coma, right?

tony:

tony: that sounds so refreshing, i could go for a light coma right now

[incorrect-marvel-because-why-not]

Pepper: why are you following me?

Tony: because we’re dating now

Pepper: okay… what about Rhodey?

Tony: we’re a package deal

Rhodey: buy one idiot, get one free

[emmedoesntdomath]

tony, loudly clearing his throat and shaking out a VERY long sheet of paper: my dearest rhodes

rhodey, glancing up: yes?

tony, assuming a strong stance like he’s about to serenade him: my dearest platypus, words cannot express my adoration for you, nor my dedication to your side. nay, but I shall attempt anyways. your hair is silky like a really nice pillow, your eyes as deep as a river. your nose was drawn by the gods, and your mouth was painted with a rose. 

rhodey, turning to tony’s literal girlfriend, eyes wide: you aren’t going to stop him???

pepper, tony’s aforementioned literal girlfriend, turning the page in her book: if I stop him now, he’ll just start over

tony, getting louder: YOUR HANDS-

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

Once upon a Tower hangout...

Happy: You were afraid before. That's why you were reckless. Always making suits and going on life threatening missions. But life's different now, huh? I gotta say. Being a stay at home dad suits you, boss.

Tony: (glares at the teasing)

Rhodey (chuckles and clicks his beer cup with his friend's mug): Just admit it, Tones. The kid made you soft.

Tony (scoffs and takes a sip of his tea. Yup, he drinks tea now, courtesy of Peter's starter pack for taking care of overworked genius mentors): Still not a dad.

Rhodey (laughs louder): Don't kid yourself. Pepper called me last Wednesday to stress when you skipped an SI meeting because you had that thing with the Dadvengers Club. What did you guys even do? I thought Clint was grounded by Laura?

Tony: Ugh, don't remind me. Now, I couldn't even kill an ant. Scott is to blame. And apparently, Clint cleaned up their whole yard with no help from the kids so Laura let him off.

Happy (draws an amused smirk): Is that what fatherhood does? Just eating healthy and attending PTAs?

Friday: Boss, sorry to interrupt. But Karen activated Spider-No-Swiping Protocol.

Tony (groans): Pete tried to override my protocols again? What's the excuse this time?

Friday: Karen reports that Spider-Man is currently hanging on a web attached to a wizard's cape. His locations show the North Pole and Karen expresses concern on his lowering temperature.

Tony (exchanges a look with his friends): Of course he is. Well, at least kid kept his promise. It's on Earth.

Happy (shakes his head, amused as he stands to dust his hands): I'll get the jet ready.

Rhodey (stands too): I'll order takeout to bring. Kid likes triple chocolate lava drink with Stik-O, right?

Tony (nods gratefully): Friday, ring Strange. Tell him spiders don't thermogulate so if he's going to babysit, he better keep my kid warm or else. And call my kid. He better answer at first ring or Spider-Man's grounded for a month.

[justaz]

peter, nauseous as fuck but refuses to admit that he feels ill:

rhodey who attended college with tony and knows the exact face he makes when he over does it, glances at peter (who is literally like a carbon copy of tony) and asks on instinct: what did you take?

peter, forcing his stomach to not spew everywhere, trying and failing to act casual: what? nothing. i didn't take anything.

rhodey activating his mom voice colonel voice: peter.

peter: i did what i had to. (reaches into his pocket and pulls out $40) and i won the bet.

rhodey: what did you do?

peter: i drank a gallon of bleach

rhodey, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath trying to process how peter is simultaneously better and worse than tony ever was: why...did you drink a gallon of bleach?

peter: i lost my backpack and needed money to buy a new one. and i cant ask may. shes bought seven over the last two months

rhodey:

peter:

[taylorkellyreporting]

rhodey: how many kids do you have?

tony: biologically, emotionally, or legally?

[funkylittlebidiot]

Rhodey: what's got the 9yo so pissy?

Tony: We won't allow Harley into the lab.

Rhodey: Okay... Tony: he's trying to help NASA land on Mars. Rhodey:

Tony, rolling his eyes: he's just doing it out of spite

Stephen: Usually we'd encourage that kind of behavior but he's getting whiny about it

[lesbian-deadpool]

Tony: My modus operandi is, "dial up the awesome, and break the knob off".

Y/N: I hope you know you're turning into a cringe dad.

Tony: It is my final form.

Rhodey: No, your final form is 'old man who blows shit up in his garage for fun'.

[maryo274]

Tony's poor old man heart can't take his kid's super hero hijinks anymore. 😅

Also, Peter has an Instagram exclusive for Spidey where he posts reels and stuff regarding his super hero life (as Spidey of course), certified and all. It's canon and you can't change my mind on that one. 🤣

Also, Rhodey just having to deal with Tony's fatherly nervous breakdowns is beyond believable within the MCU's canon. 😅

More comics are coming soon.

Hope you like this one. 👊🏼😉

Marvel, Sony ©

Art by Maryo274 ©

If you like my art support with a reblog, it is appreciated. And you’re always welcome to comment too.

[azerishi]

Tony: What the fuck—why did you have your finger up my ear, honeybear?

Rhodey: You were sleeping with your eyes open. Go to your room and sleep on a bed like a normal person.

Tony: I can't, Peter's patrol still hasn't ended. It isn't his bed time yet.

Clint, whispering: It's Thursday, he's not even supposed to be here.

Natasha, sighing: We know.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Natasha: I'm so sorry we put you in the middle of this Carol. But I'm also glad you were here.

Carol: It was one of the most frustrating days of my entire life. I'm exhausted. I feel like a single mom in a mop commercial.

Rhodes: Welcome to the Avengers compound.

Tony: [pops champagne]

[ir0npvrker]

tony: why do people believe i’m incapable of doing anything nice ever?

rhodey: experience

[incorrect-marvel-because-why-not]

Rhodey: Hey, what have you two been doing? Tony: we were helping Steve with his wedding vows and we were kicked out of their house for making it "inappropriate". Clint: How is “Nice ass, Buck” inappropriate?

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

(Tony is wondering about whether to ask Stephen out or not)

Peter:...Mr. Stark, the big question is, does HE like YOU? Cuz if he doesn't like you, then all this is a moo point.

Tony:.....A moo point?

Peter: Yeah, y'know - it's like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter...It's MOO.

Tony(to Rhodey, points at Peter):...Have I been spending too much time with him or did all that just make sense?