#just think for a second Bruce

[hypotheticalcrisis]

You live in Gotham Bruce, how do people get rich in Gotham? It’s not through purely legal means.

I know it's not the only iteration of the franchise that alludes to the Wayne’s having an unsavory background, but the Batman Telltale games are so fucking funny.

Bruce is straight-up having an existential crisis over his family having connections to the local mob and Alfred just looks at him sideways like, “Bruce, they were billionaires. No one becomes a billionaire honestly.”

And Bruce swallows that comment, runs through all the stages of grief in about ten seconds— inventing some new ones along the way—and you can see his brain making the dial-up noise in the time it takes for the player to pick his response.

And true, you can pick denial, anger, or something else, but in that pause you get a glimpse of the static buzz building behind his eyes.

This man is tired. He just got the shit kicked out of him. He is running on fumes. And you’re telling him everything he’s done, everything he’s achieved as Batman, has potentially been funded by crime???

“I could do it,” the look on his face says, “I could sink into the himbo persona, let it consume me. No one would ever know. I could take a nap. Billionaire playboys take naps...”

[plutonicbees]

save a horse (the sequel) 🐎

[sidewalk-cracks]

The batkids encountering distressed children and calling them "sweetheart", subconsciously mimicking how Bruce would and will call them sweetheart when they're distressed, and not even realizing it?? Don't speak to me. I can't.

[everwalldigan]

Ok but Bruce’s “batglare” except it has specific stages that mean you’re in varying degrees of trouble. Allow me to elaborate:

Level 1: isn’t even really considered a glare in Bruce-speak, more of a suspicious squinting

Level 2: standard Disappointed Dad look, the most you’re gonna get is a reprimand

Level 3: resting Bitch face. Less of a glare and more of a sharp look that WILL follow you around and creep you out

Level 4: worried batglare, features aren’t as sharp as with the standard batglare. Usually smooths out when his kids/teammates stop being idiots and putting themselves in danger

Level 5: standard batglare, regular criminals are usually at the end of it, most of the kids have gotten pretty used to it

Level 6: You’ve Fucked Up. Expect a screaming match or a lecture of at least 30 minutes. Also you’re grounded

Level 7: full batglare on steroids, makes grown men piss their pants, usually reserved for the joker. Most of the kids have received it only once and that was MORE than enough for them to never want to receive it again

Level 8: Alfred.

[frownyalfred]

my friend: so if you're flying a fighter jet, there's a pre-programmed turn they call a blackout turn because it's a last resort and it causes the pilot to black out and flies the plane on autopilot until they wake up again

me, about to find a way to make this angsty about Hal Jordan and/or Bruce Wayne: tell me more

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

At times, for inexplicable reasons, Jason feels drawn to his grave like a ghost to its haunt, and then he’ll just stay there for hours at a time regardless of the weather.

This happens at random, and the first time the batfam notice is when Jason suddenly wanders off mid patrol.

[hey-hey-j]

(sort of a companion piece to this)

older brother instinct

(★ my Kofi)

[brainmuncher]

Many years ago, in a different country, a set of twins were born. In another room, a runaway league of assassin also gave birth to a baby boy.

To punish the runaway, a hit was put on their newborn son. The assassin silently traversed the hospital and grabbed the baby from off the cart as the nurse was distracted.

After successfully securing the child the assassin ran off into the woods behind the hospital. They grinned to themselves as this was their first mission and glad to have made such a great success. Preparing a dagger in one hand they raise it above the child to strike when...

The wristband on the baby twisted to look at them, and with horror, they read the last name 'Grayson'.

They kidnapped one of the Grayson twins...

In a panic, they threw the baby into the woods and fled back to the hospital. But by the time they got there to kill the real baby they were sent for it was too late. The runaway assassin and the child were gone.

Meanwhile, two ectobiologists scour the woods behind a hospital on their honeymoon. What better way to celebrate marriage than with ghost hunting in a new country!

Then they hear the sounds of crying... suffering spooks! Is that a baby? Well we already have our daughter... why not give her a new baby brother :)

Dick notices that Talia gives him a weird look whenever she sees him. It's one that he has never seen her wear towards any of the other bats, so it bothers him.

Then one day after Damian and him defeat an assassin sent to kill Damian Talia shows up and says something that makes Dicks blood run cold.

“I'm so glad that you're the Grayson twin that hadn't been killed.”

[amaranthdahlia]

happy holidays everybody ! i dont have anything on theme to celebrate with, so instead have this months worth of kudoichi art :] !

[i recently got an ipad for christmas so im practicing using a stylus for the first time and also procreate :D this is one of my practice sketches]

[two types of people after the end of a month long gay situationship]

[so i have this kinda cheesy headcanon where since kudou called afo demon lord in chapter 407, what if he ....... hear me out......... calls yoichi 'angel' ...... atleast by accident]

[redraw meme from twt]

[all of these is to contribute to a rarepair poll from twitter (which btw, they won, only after a series of botting from the other side and drama lmao)]

[some miscellaneous stuff]

[below are some kdch au doodles]

[tallichi has hit the 2nd tower again]

[kudoichi fankids from an undisclosed family au about kdch being katsuki's great grandparents, which is not related to any of the family aus ive posted before (bc god am i Obsessed with designing fankids, these two arent even the only ones, theres 5 more kids that i havent drawn yet. and if ur wondering why that amount, this just to follow the ofa user count. and to also reinforce the thing where the much older generation had so many kids back then LMAO)]

commissions

[pyramus-the-poet]

A favorite trope of mine is when characters just trauma dump in the middle of mundane conversations. And I’ve seen quite a few people characterize Jason this way, where he’d hide the fact that he was in the League or All-Caste from the other Bats because either: 

1. He’s a really private person and doesn’t want to open up to anyone, especially the Bats

2. He compartmentalizes a lot of it, so he genuinely forgets it even happened

3. He keeps it in his back pocket until the perfect time to bring it up to do the most damage to whoever he’s talking to

And although I enjoy all three of these, I’ve always had sort of a different view on things so hear me out for a moment.

Jason Todd a boy that would tell his Mom everything. He’d tell her about the characters in a new book he’d read that day at the library, or he’d complain about how much of the gross cologne Mr. Davis wore, hell, he’d tell her about a brick he saw on his way to school laying on the sidewalk that was kinda shaped funny.

Little Jason Todd could ramble on for hours and hours about everything or absolutely nothing. He was a natural conversationalist (which he used very much to his advantage when he was hungry, on the streets, haggling the store clerk for a bag of chips). He could strike up a conversation with the introverted 90-year-old widow down the block or the excited 8-year-old he met at the library who only spoke in broken English. 

He would tell everyone he spoke to out in Crime Alley little anecdotes about himself that would later be the only crumbs of his life that would be remembered when he moved into Bristol to live with Bruce Wayne. (And would be the only proof of his existence when his death in Ethiopia was covered up)

But Jason hardened from losing his Dad cause of a stupid job gone wrong, slowly over the course of a year, having to watch and accept that he was losing his Ma too, and then being left alone to fend for himself.

He wasn’t used to talking anymore. 

He missed talking to someone who would listen so badly.

But then he was living with Bruce Wayne, the aloof, billionaire, playboy by day and the savage, fearless caped crusader by night.

When Jason finally got comfortable, he did ramble. 

He told Bruce all about school and homework and the new book he found in the Manor.

He told Batman about the new move he learned watching Selina and the guy who was so drunk he thought he was The Batman and tried to help Robin out during patrol.

But that was all he’d let himself talk about.

He would never let himself waver from safe subjects. Whenever he felt like Bruce was trying to (awkwardly) start an emotional, heartfelt conversation, or Batman was trying to pry more information about Robin to update his file, he’d subtly steer the conversation to safer topics.

It wasn’t because he didn’t want to talk about the heavy stuff but because he couldn’t.

Bruce didn’t hide how unsure he was with taking Jason in as well as he thought he did. Sure, he had raised Dick just fine but Dick was also a much easier kid to deal with and Bruce related to the pain Dick had lived through in a way he couldn’t with Jason. The Todds weren’t some picturesque family that lived in the spotlight and were torn apart in a flash. Willis Todd was a petty criminal who was desperate to put food on the table and was in over his head. Catherine Todd died slowly; her arms and legs were failing her, and the under-the-counter pills she took from a friend of a friend to help ease the pain were dragging her to an early grave. 

Batman didn’t hide how unsure he was as well as he thought he did, either. The second Robin wasn’t raised doing flips through the air and freeing himself from ropes under a timer in the circus. He needed more training and more time and more money put into him. Batman made his distrust clear every time he’d bark at Robin to be more careful while dealing with crooks on patrol when the sidekick had hardly managed to get a punch in.

Bruce Wayne needed a son who he could show off at galas and captivate a crowd with his good looks and award-winning smile. (Not Jason, whose hair was so poorly cared for for years that it still sat half-dead and frizzy. The boy that knocked his tooth out cleaning out Ms. Coleman's gutters and it grew back in crooked.)

Batman needed a Robin he could rely on to watch his back, a Robin that was unafraid, a Robin that he didn’t need to baby and rush into battle to save all the time.

If Jason told Bruce what he’d gone through living on the streets, he’d realize how broken Jason was and send him off to one of those foster homes for troubled kids.

If Robin told Batman that he was still afraid of the dark or about the time he pushed Auntie Sofia’s abusive drunk boyfriend down the stairs, he wouldn’t want him anymore.

And now years later, after waking up in his grave and coming back wrong—coming back broken—it’s instinctual not to open up to Bruce.

Especially when Bruce still sits in that damn cave in front of that fucking memorial case and mourns the son and sidekick he’d lost. The son who is standing right infront of him and is only a phone call away. The sidekick who still patrols the streets of Gotham only five minutes away from Batman’s usual patrol route.

But Jason knows why he mourns that fifteen year old version of himself because some days—on those really bad days—Jason mourns him too. 

Jason mourns the kid he could’ve been, the kid he was supposed to be, and he mourns the father he’ll never have again.

Jason Todd and Bruce Wayne will never talk about it.

And neither do Red Hood and Batman.

[umbrellajam]

Tim: When Gotham needed him, he was there. When the Batman needed him, he was there. He was a hero. Tim: But he was nothing special, really. Just a boy, who was taught--trained--brought to his full potential by someone who knew how. Tim: Just a boy…like me. Tim: I can do it. I know I can. One day I'll be as good as Jason. One day I'll wear the suit. One day I'll be a hero. - Detective Comics #618

no, Tim didn't admire Jason's Robin because he was better, warmer, more compassionate, more connected to the little people, more "magic" etc. etc. than Dick's Robin

he admired Jason for being a regular-ass kid who stepped into Dick's shoes and tried to fill them because Gotham and Batman needed Robin - a nigh impossible task because Dick was and is the best, as far as Tim was concerned, but Jason did it anyway.

very relatable! for a normal kid who daydreamed about being Robin! and didn't think he could ever live up to ✨Dick Grayson!✨ but was determined to do it anyway because he felt he had to, and no one else would!

[loopyarts]

Young adult Robin Dick Grayson and his Umbreon partner.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Because I’m already on a soapbox can I talk about how annoying I find the ‘Dick is ace’ headcanon but ONLy when it’s used as a validator for his SA (if you headcanon this for vibes I respect you and think you’re neat)

However

I feel like we need to talk about the fact that the reason Dick Grayson is such a sexual character is because he was the first unmarried character to be depicted in a sexual relationship (I think don’t fact check me or do idrm)

And that’s?? Fine??

Like my biggest energy is flanderization so if you don’t degrade him down to pretty himbo with nice ass then yeah? I think having a flirty, attractive male character is fun

And I fear that a lot of people cannot conceptually grasp the fact that yeah Liu, tarantula, mirage happened. Yeah people have slapped his ass and he’s explicitly stated he hates it bc who doesn’t. And yeah he doesn’t like the way people talk about him. And yet he doesn’t need to be Ace to make his dislike or victimhood appear valid.

He can enjoy the sexual aspect of his romantic relationships without it invalidating the fact that he’s been treated like shit in the comics and has his autonomy taken like 8 billion times.

The dude canonically likes sex right? Doesn’t mean he should have his autonomy stripped away from him? Ya feel?

Idk it always gives me a very ick vibe

If you headcanon him as ace bc your ace and therefore all ur faves are ace you are excluded from this post bc u are me fr

[science-lings]

I just wonder how much the DC timeline has to be fucked around with to get Bruce to be training with David Cain at the same time that Cass is being trained so he can get her early and break all of that assholes bones

[cr1mson5returns]

I have a very soft spot in my heart for Tim being just the loudest little shit on the planet. He was so used to being by himself in the house as a kid, what with how often his parents were out of town. After realizing how cranky he'd get if it was quiet for too long, he started filling the space with noise on his own purely to save his own sanity.

Cue Tim at Wayne Manor being so fucking noisy and Bruce is so tempted to tell him to quiet down but feels kind of bad if he does. And truthfully, it's nice in its own way to have this little weirdo bouncing off the fucking walls and chattering and clicking his pen 80 times a minute and just being his vibrant, noisy self.

[skylersprompts]

DC x DP Prompt *10*

It had been a relative uneventful day in Gotham, the new Week just started and most of the big rouges were still in Arkham after the last big breakout. And even tho the nightly patrol wasn't done, Batman send most of his charges that were still somewhat injured home. He, Orphan and Robin would be able to handle the rest.

They had stopped some muggings and one break-in by the time patrol officially ended. His children made their way back to the manor on their bikes, while the Bat made one last round through the docks.

He had a feeling of foreboding, not necessarily a bad feeling, but he was cautious. Even if Cassandra and Damian weren't hurt that badly, he still wanted them home. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he didn't had much time to think it over.

A swirling green Portal opened in front of him and a figure started to emerge from it. Bruce got into a fighting stance, his eyes trained on the unknown.

The Portal vanished after a young man, almost still a boy, stepped out of it. He had white hair that seemed to sway as if he was under water. Green freckles glowed in the dark, just a little muted in contrast to the vibrant green eyes. The boy - because the longer Bruce looked, the younger the being seemed - floated a few inches in the air. In his hands he held what looked like a type of thermos.

"You are Batman, right?", his voice seemed to echo a bit, even in this open space. Bruce just gave a little nod, still in his fighting stance. Just because the other seemed young, didn't mean he wasn't dangerous.

"Good, good... ahem... So my name is Danny or Phantom or Danny Phantom and I know this might come a bit suddenly, but a friend of mine - well more like my mentor - said that I was on the way for the best possible timeline and I think he really needs someone like you - you know with all those contingency plans - and a different dimension than ours and he is already 3 years in the thermos, well minus the bit he was out for a moment where Clockwork sat his Bodytime a bit back, so that he can have a childhood again, but that was like five minutes max. so that doesn't really count, because ha was also in timeout, so for him it was more like a few seconds, but ahem, what I wanted to ask you Mr. Batman, sir... Would you take my evil self from a different timeline, so that he can have a better childhood and maybe be not evil anymore?", Danny rambled and Batman really wished in this moment to have any of his children here, just to make sure that he did indeed hear correctly.

Even if everything had came out in one breath, the things he could piece together didn't paint the best picture. But it seemed like his brooding had taken to long, because the child folded into himself and started do fidget.

"I understand that you don't want to, you don't know me or Dan or anything about us, but you seemed to be the one most capable of handling him and I looked through so many dimension in the hope to find a good place for him... I can understand why he is like he is, but I will never be able to talk sense into him. His actions are unforgivable, but his timeline doesn't exist anymore, the things he done never happened and he is alone in a dimension that would just remind him of everything that happened if he would life with us... But I can totally just look into some more dimension if you don't want to! It's not your problem and I shouldn't have bothered, sorry!" Phantom started to raise his hand and a green line became visible where his finger cut through the air. If Bruce didn't do anything the being would go with a child that needed his help.

"I want a list with all his abilitis, his weaknesses, his potential triggers, dietary needs, allergies, a way to contact you, your mentor and a third trusted person in case of an emergency and a weekly check in system from your side", Bruce knew his kids would make fun of him when he brought another child home, but someone said he was the best possible guardian for this boy, so he would take him. And if he felt pleased about Danny's surprised and relieved face, than no one needed to know.

"Of course! I think Clockwork gave me a folder with everything!", the boy exclaimed, before he led the riff he started to open close, just to open another one. He seemed to rummage in the small Portal, until he showed him a folder full of papers. This would take a while to go through, but at least the boy was prepared.