#money in dating

[bitchesgetriches]

Hi Bitches! I have a relationship/money question for you?

I'm in a fairly new relationship with a guy, and it's going pretty well so far. My only real complaint is that I feel like things are kind of unbalanced in terms of how much we're each financially contributing, if that makes sense?

For the first couple dates, I convinced him to trade off on who paid for dinner, which was good. But now that we're doing more 'stay-home' dates - ordering in or cooking - it feels like he's paying way more than his share. For food, renting movies, etc. And now he's the one buying all the supplies for our physical relationship!

I've told him I'm not wild about him spending so much on me, but he just waved it off. He has mentioned before that gift giving is one of his preferred forms of showing affection, but... We're both financially comfortable (and financially responsible) but I was recently promoted, so I know I'm making a fair bit more than he is. How do I have this conversation with him to get the point across? Any suggestions on ways to balance the scale?

Honey bunches of oats... let him pay.

You don't mention your gender, but I'm going to assume you're a woman (if I assume wrong... disregard this next bit). And this whole situation smacks of one of the primary tenets of heteronormative romance: the man pays for things so he can subconsciously feel like a strong and masculine provider. I know men who literally find it insulting if a woman they're dating pays for a date instead of them. Not saying this is the case with your boyfriend... but still, it can be a sensitive topic with a lot of men in dating situations!

Heteronormativity aside, you should still let him spend what he wants to spend on your dates. While it's very thoughtful of you to want to equalize things, you cannot control his financial decisions nor his reasons for those decisions. And despite what you think you know about his financial situation... PERSONAL FINANCE IS PERSONAL. Your relationship is new enough that you likely don't get the full picture.

That said, if it's truly bothering you, you can let him know--briefly and with care--something like "I wish you'd let me pay for my fair share of these dates. I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you." He'll probably repeat something about his love language or whatever, at which point you should drop it. Under no circumstances should you verbally compare your incomes.

After that, just tell him how grateful you are when he pays for things, and find other ways to contribute to your experiences together. Maybe that means a hard split-the-bill rule when you go out. Maybe it means you always bring wine or a six pack to your evenings in when he's cooking. Maybe you splurge on that Ninja Turtles cosplay you know will rev his engine in the bedroom--I don't know! This is a money blog, not a sexy times blog!

Enjoy the honeymoon phase and don't worry so much about splitting equally right now.

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money? 

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date 

[starcurtain]

Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.

[obsesseddiary]

Minha ideia de relacionamento saudável

Pra mim, no relacionamento, a ideia de "dividir a conta" a cada encontro não faz sentido. Acredito que quem convida deve ser responsável pelo pagamento. Se alguém não está em condições de arcar com isso, é preferível não fazer o convite. Eu só acho que é uma situação chata, tipo, alguém te chama pra sair, mesmo você tendo dinheiro, você espera que a pessoa pague, ela que te convidou.

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

[marzipanandminutiae]

thoughts on "tradwives" as a 19th-century social historian

It's great until it's not.

It's great until he develops an addiction and starts spending all the money on it.

It's great until you realize he's abusive and hid it long enough to get you totally in his power (happened to my great-great-aunt Irene).

It's great until he gets injured and can't work anymore.

It's great until he dies and your options are "learn a marketable skill fast" or "marry the first eligible man you can find."

It's great until he wants child #7 and your body just can't take another pregnancy, but you can't leave or risk desertion because he's your meal ticket.

It's great until he tries to make you run a brothel as a get-rich-quick scheme and deserts you when you refuse, leaving your sisters to desperately fundraise so your house doesn't get foreclosed on (happened to my great-great-aunt Mamie).

It's great until you want to leave but you can't. It's great until you want to do something else with your life but you can't. It's great. Until. It's. Not.

I won't lie to you and say nobody was ever happy that way. Plenty of women have been, and part of feminism is acknowledging that women have the right to choose that sort of life if they want to.

But flinging yourself into it wholeheartedly with no sort of safety net whatsoever, especially in a period where it's EXTREMELY easy for him to leave you- as it should be; no-fault divorce saves lives -is naive at best and dangerous at worst.

Have your own means of support. Keep your own bank account; we fought hard enough to be allowed them. Gods willing, you never need that safety net, but too many women have suffered because they needed it and it wasn't there.

[stevenrogered]

Can we also talk about how Buck has feelings for Tommy...who is literally a carbon copy of Eddie?

[kagoutiss]

pelican town, ‘72

[aballadforbarbatos]

diavolo makes a pact with you

well, you never know

once upon a time, he brought it up to lucifer and barbatos

they shot him down immediately

receiving a lecture is bad enough but imagine receiving one from BOTH lucifer and barbatos

rip

he takes it like a champ tho. he’s way better than me cause i hate getting told off

years pass

the devil’s pudding event happens. diavolo almost learns his lesson that day.

like he says he has but there’s a lot of times where that memory crosses his mind and he sits there like huh. wish that could happen again

YOU learnt the lesson though, so it’ll NEVER happen again

if he brings it up on his birthday there’s a good chance you will look at him with disdain

he’s catching up on paperwork when something crosses his mind

maybe you’d be more into it if you had a pact with him?

the lecture he got from his two closest friends though was pretty awful though

but…

what if it was in secret?

what if, and he’s just throwing out ideas here, he gave lucifer a ton of work and made barbatos go on holiday and summoned you to his castle?

hypothetically.

you know, a will-never-happen scenario.

barbatos appears at his door soon after that.

“hey, barbatos. what did you need?”

“oh… nothing. i just got a bad feeling, that’s all.”

oops

another year goes by and the idea pops into his head again, about the same time as he sees you cuddling up with mammon

Right.

diavolo’s situation and this isn’t even remotely the same, because you don’t need a pact to cuddle and mammon is your first so he’s on a separate level altogether, but he chooses to ignore these details

it’s barbatos’ birthday. he gets sent off. hearing complaints, diavolo threatens him with two weeks

lucifer weirdly gets hit with a ton of work randomly. damn that’s crazy huh. do your best!!!

and you are summoned to the castle. you also get a bad feeling.

he tries to convince you that having a pact with him is a good idea

(some people are normal about this; i am not and wouldn’t need convincing personally)

you refuse.

if you bring this up to lucifer if he asks about your visit he is so screwed

ah, but maybe he could make you his unwilling partner in crime…?

pulls a lucifer and forces it on you. suddenly you have a big fancy mark around your neck.

he’s pretty proud of it. you cover your face with your hands and go oh my god.

it feels like it could be exasperation but he would really prefer for it to not be that

lucifer asks what diavolo wanted you for and you weakly say it was for new clothes. new clothes that conveniently hide your collarbone

all of this is unraveled when someone (mammon) walks in on you getting dressed and screams bloody murder about the weird MARK on your neck

pacts are permanent and so is diavolo getting lectured

[alexturntable]

George to Lewis: I would pay money to see a romantic dinner for two, just like, you and Max

[bluerosefox]

Teenage Ellie taking care of deaged Danny and moving to Gotham to hide from Vlad because Lady Gotham offered them sanctuary and will keep Vlad out.

BUT

Chaos is set into motion when during a Rogue attack, Damian Wayne (not as Robin at the moment) saves him and returns Danny to Ellie...

The internet/news happen because of course it did.

And people mistake Danny as his kid and Ellie his baby mama.

[dustfluff]

support group for 🐑🦐 pls 💢💢

☆ as always do not repost without permission & remove my watermark! always rb and save instead! tysm! <3 check out my other handles if u like!

[robotpussy]

ok this is the first time ive ever had to do this but I really need the help right now. i know its going to be hard to get the full amount in the time that I have but any help would benefit me so greatly. i am putting the explanation under the cut as it is very long but TLDR:

I got into the film school of my dreams on a scholarship, but student finance will not pay for the full course fee because my university is independent, (£20k, SF can only pay £14.4k) so I have to pay the remaining fee (£5.6k) by June 1st. I cannot graduate if I don't pay this fee and I am under 2 months away from graduating. all evidence and explanation is under the cut.

gfm is here if the link above doesn't work

thank you to anyone in advance.

I have been studying filmmaking for 2 years at university and I am 2 months away from graduating. I got into this university through a scholarship that reduced the standard course fee in half. Usually, Student Finance/the government will pay for these course fees, but because my university is private, they are unable to pay the fee in full. My course costs £20k and Student Finance will pay £14,400 of this. This means I have to pay £5,600.

Here is the evidence and proof that I did get into my university on a scholarship and what my university offers in terms of fees:

I have been looking for financial support for 2 years (before I even started attending but had a confirmed place) and it has not been enough. I have contacted my local authority for years about the grant I am entitled to as a foster care leaver and the most I could receive was £2,000 that ended up going to paying my gas and electric bills.

I have also gone to many charities to ask them for support and many of the responses I got were "go to your local authority". I did find one charity that was willing to help me but the sponsors of the charity decided that I would receive a laptop and they would pay for the travel costs to my university for a year instead. I am eternally grateful for that but now I have nowhere else to go for this.

I would really appreciate any help I am already having a extremely hard time dealing my current eviction and I am on the verge if being homeless I would just like to get something off my back and I would rather graduate and get this over with. I am still actively working to find places that are willing to help me but in the time that I have now I would appreciate it if I could get something in the meantime.

[incorrectbuckandeddie]

Buck: I just wanted to let you all know that I have a boyfriend.

Hen: Congrats Buck!

Chimney: Wait let us guess! Does he have brown hair?

Hen: Was he in the army?

Chimney: Does his job involve rescuing people?

Hen: Does he have abs for days?

Chimney: Do we know him?

Buck: How did you two know I was dating Tommy?!

Hen and Chimney: WHAT!

[miusato]

Yeah but what if they're some oddly high budget cartoon from the 00s???

[carlestin]

butters' pocket money

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Damian does not know how he has got into such a mess.

That was a lie.

Like most messes in his life, it all started with his family and their constant “ribbing”.

‘They act as if gaining a date was not easy,’

Damian glared as he scouted out a suitable target in the mall.

Sitting alone by the arcade there was an attractive boy on his phone.

Acceptable.

Making his way next to his target, he sat down and tapped his shoulder.

The other boy flinched and subtly (though not to someone as trained as him) glanced Damian over, eyes seeming to catalog instinctively.

Good, not perfect but admissible all things considered.

“Uh hi.?”

“Your age.”

“Pardon?”

“What is your age?”

“16.?”

Damian nodded as he mulled over the information. About a year his senior, not ideal but still viable.

“ Date me.”

“Excuse me??”

“I will pay you for your inconvenience of course but I am in need of a date and you are the most suitable person I have seen so far.”

“Wait a minute-“

“Here is your first payment.”

Damian handed the boy the envelope he had prepared for today and had to hold back a smirk as he saw they other boy’s eyes widen.

“I-“

“I will pay you monthly with bonuses for any extremely taxing events that may occur if you agree.”

“I- I guess?”

“Good, now give me your number and I will contact you for our first date. My name is Damian Wayne.”

“Danny..”

~~~~~~

For all purposes the agreement has only worked in his favor.

His family was off his back, galas were less boring and they even shared common interests.

That being said,

“You did not need to give me a gift Daniel, it was not a requirement.”

Damian looked down at the katana shaped keychain he was handed, it was well made and surprisingly sharp.

“I know Dami, but it just reminded me of you!”

What a mess indeed…