#rant/vent-ish

[aceclipse]

i don't know why i have to type this out but it's transphobic bullshit if you try to deny the fact that any and all trans people are struggling under a world that literally tries to kill us regardless of their alignment, regardless of how they present, regardless of anything related to their transness. are you really a trans ally if you ignore the struggles of trans people no matter who or what they are? do you really listen to them if you only listen to trans people you deem 'acceptable'? are you really helping trans people by invalidating other trans people? are you really supportive of your trans peers by trying to exclude them? because even most trans people and 'allies' i know fail at this. in fucking 2024.

[thornsinpudding]

Whenever I see people talking about trauma, I never see enough representation for people who never really had anything or anyone to lean on

Like, I'm talking about people who grew up with no real close friends other than maybe one, abusive or neglectful parents, and no teachers / adults that took interest in them. People who had to clean up their own suicide attempts and self-harm because there was nobody else they could rely on for support. People who dealt with debilitating mental / physical conditions and the reprucussions of them themselves because they were too scared to go to a hospital. People who can't name a singular person who has truly cared for them or made them feel entirely cared for.

Even though traumatic childhoods vary so much, I always see people talking about that one person who helped them, whether it was a teacher or a nurse or one of their friends. It's so jarring to realize you've had nobody. And it's even more jarring to realize how few people you can relate to because of that

[that-starry-freak]

Yknow what? I have to rant about this this has been eating me up for forever. Fuck confessions I'm going to do this here.

I fucking hate old moon

Do I love his sass? Yes. Do I love how Reed plays him most of the time? Yes. Do I love how he interacts with other characters? Yes!

Do I like him as a "person" and for what hes done? Absolutley not. He abused Sun, and when he found out the daycare exploded his first reaction was to be upset because THE STICK HE WOULD ROUTINLY HIT SUN WITH was fucking destroyed. I'm sorry bitch what??? That's disgusting Moon I wish you burned in hell <3

I also absolutely hate that no one saves Nexus

Do I think it was Sun's fault? Absolutely not, he has had way too much shit to deal with. Do I think its Earth's fault? While I think Nexus was absolutely right for calling her out for not being a therapist, she has every right to be upset for him saying he'd kill her. Do I think its the families fault in general? No, Nexus pushed them away and hurt them, they did try.

You know who I do blame? Who should understand Nexus better than anyone? Who even admits partial responsibility for it, and pretty much denies any sort of redemption for Nexus?

Mother fucking Old Moon.

Old moon committed arson. He abused Sun routinely (forcing him to go to dangerous dimensions. Hitting him. Calling him stupid. Having a clear power difference between the two and abusing it). He put his killcode in Sun and is literally the reason Eclipse exists and terrified their family.

But no, Nexus is the one in the wrong. He's the one that will have to do soemthing huge and grovel to be redeemed. Because he threatened the family after having hallucination and literally going insane and mourning his best friend, and feeling like he wasn't good enough and spiraling cause he couldn't bring Solar back, and then joined Dark Sun whos known to be exteemly smart and manipulative. Not Old Moon, who did so much worse. No, he gets to rejoin the family after apologizing and promising to do better (and yes, he is doing better) sure, Sun doesn't forgive him (and im proud of him for admitting that <3 that's very strong of him), but still.

Plus, Nexus is literally the youngest family member. He's a lot younger than Earth and Sun and Moon and Lunar. He isn't Sun's twin, and he isn't Earth's older brother. He is the youngest. And that should be addressed, because that means he is much more immature. He hasn't had all the time to grow up like the rest of them have. Moon has had years to grow as a person. Nexus has had a year.

Anyway, tldr. I dont blame the family for what happened to Nexus, I blame Old Moon

Also sorry for bad spelling or grammar or autocorrect or whatever, I'm not rereading this

ALSO THIS IS NOT FOR DEBATE. I AM RANTING ABOUT MY OPINION, IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, PLEASE JUST SCROLL PAST I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO ARGUE. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION AND SO AM I ♡♡

[only-knives]

"how are you"

im listening to Zombie by The Cranberries on repeat. that's how i am

[little-saw]

CW : Mentions of shame regarding SFW use of dips/pull ups, bladder control issues & wetting, rantish but not really.

Sometimes, I wish I could have a pull-up. I just feel like it would make me feel secure and little. But I wouldn't wanna actually use it, like just wear one.

Although I have a feeling I'd accidentally use it because I do have issues with bladder control, and I don't know why. And the shame of already accidentally wetting myself on my own is horrible, let alone while wearing a pull-up.

Also, because of nsfw, i would be uncomfy, and feel gross. I support padded reggresors, but I have these thoughts that if I do it, I'm gross and weird, and I hate it.

I wouldn't like to just wear a pull-up, I'd wanna like wear it beneath my skirt or pants and have it peek out so I know it's there.

I dunno it's complicated =_=💧

[schlorb]

I saw a similar post and now I can't find it but I'm thinking about it again.

GOD IT MUST FEEL SO GOOD TO BE COMPRESSED INTO A ZIP FILE...

Can you imagine the just like absolute maximum weighted blanket of imploding into bytes and being re-encoded...UGH

I WANT TO BE COMPUTED

[pamithebunterfly2007]

What Have I done. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ?

For those who just met me, I wanted to say that Ever since I get to tumblr just to avoid everyone. . . . . . I admit what I’m even doing wrong. . . . . I’ve always hated my myself for every single error I’ve done in my past life and today. . . . . . . . . . . . . I was so mindless and dumb for what I’m doing wrong. . . . . . . I didn’t even realize what I’m doing until now, the fact that it was the only way to cope with, by making “revenge art” of the people who betrayed me or left me. . . . . . . . . I never felt this guilty before, I didn’t realize that why I’m doing, due to everyone in the past of cutting me out . . . . . . . They hated for that one mistake that will forever be stuck with me. . . . . . . . . . So by then a way to make me feel better of myself, I decided to make cringy and not so cool revenge gore art as a way to cope with the stress and anger that they affected me. . . .So by that one callout doc that on of my friend cut me out I deleted them all and so those all the drama I got involve in. . . . . . I’m trying my best to quit doing that . . . . . . . . . . But one is being exposed on Twitter by that one user I can’t name. . . . . . It’s got flagged so I deleted it. . . . . .never to be seen again. . . . . . . . . Sure what I’m doing is absolutely not okay, I should’ve ignore them in the first place . . . . . . . . . . . . But due to so much trauma in my DA life made me this way that triggered me causing me to draw “revenge art” on them and that won’t happen again for how much of a psycho I was. . . . . . I was so mindlessly rude to everyone that two user who I cannot name already left because of my selfish actions towards them and yes, that I’m aware of this because I hurted them in many ways that makes me an awful person to them. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And I’m sorry, I’m the monster this whole time. . . . . . . . . I couldn’t help for what I’m doing, I get that all I done was shitty for fuck’s sake. Because From the bad memories of DA and the friends who cut ties with me cause me to turn into a mean and cruel user backstabbing everyone in my path. . . . Not to mention how it badly influences my friends . . . . . . .causing them to make bad decisions by troll feeding and bash opinions . . . . . . . . . . I took them in my own control, I manipulated them many times, I abuse them with my own control, Causing a user who doesn’t like Viziepop’s works to block all of us just for acting like a bunch of crazed fans of a HB character . And my behavior to everyone was just upsetting that I get many people especially that one user, Didn’t like what I’m doing to them. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . so by then I deleted the cringy gore stuff I did in the past . . . . . . And I admitted for what I’m even doing is stupid. . . . . . and the thing is that I just wanted to change for the better, even for my friends and followers, because I don’t want the same thing happening to me again. And to the two user who left this site and those who blocked me, I was so bitchy towards others and especially you and a few like not too many like maybe one or two people cutted ties because of my behavior because for how obnoxiously rude I am and so verbally aggressive was to them and using them just for abusing my own willpower to harrass them at my own will due to how horrible DA and my former friends effected me which turns down into verbally harassing you and bullying others just for shits and stuff. . . . . I understand and know you don’t need me or don’t love me anymore, by then you hated me now but, I know it’s for my good that you all leave me behind, I understand that I treated you very horrible because you never wanted to deal with a demon who is hurt and misunderstood and struggling with social cues. I was just so plain rude that I confess to everyone especially to those who left me and block me that I am nothing but a monster and crazy person, but in reality I’m struggling to be nice and instead lash out on these for the sake of it. . . . But

Things are different now and im willing to finally change for the better, . . . I won’t give up on myself and my friends and I’ll try to be more nicer to people and even don’t get involve with too much drama or any of my friends drama, .I’ll try to not make any more gory hate art on others who left me and to all the people who left tumblr and block me for my awful actions, please note that for now, Im staring my journey through redemption, all of my friends who art still with me are supporting me hard, to get to the point where I finally be a true good user for once and be more friendly to everyone even my friends.

@nicky-toony27

@softpawsxd

@sketchymenace

@lilithbutweird

@art1c-m0nk3ys

@ghosthyena74

@emo-gals-4life

@rhyliethecaterfly

@itsmetord

@zizzythehedgehog

@lizzietherwbychibifan

@smurfylegofan2005

@melimilkysblog

@melimilky

@adam-frankenweenie

@hellishhotel

@megamanzero5098

@halliedoesstuff

@halliedrawz

@endomentendo

@skylarthethompson

@leftunknown

@galacticsomewhat

@shadowwolfmemes

[canonically47]

hot take i guess, but fandoms (and people in general) are so annoying about romance. like genuinely. its so tiring to find a new interest and want to connect with other fans, only for them to be like “look at my ship!!” “look at this ship!!” and ESPECIALLY when the media WASN’T EVEN ABOUT THAT. i just came back from inside out 2 and wanted to find some fun fanart or thoughts of fellow viewers, instead i am bombarded with sadness x embarrassment or disgust x some video game character. ARE YALL OKAY??? THEY’RE EMOTIONS!!!

you people are so annoying and i am tired of sugar coating it. “filter your tags” i have. “let people ship whatever” i do. “do you not have any ships?” i do, but they go deeper than romance. “this is mean” YOU try being aromantic in a world FILLED TO THE BRIM with your tiring, boresome, disgusting romance. you try being aromantic with so many detailed and complex thoughts on relationships while those around you just go “boy and girl stand together = love”. you try being aromantic in a fandom that is meant to be your escape yet all you’re met with is an unaccessible space because everything, everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, is about something you cannot feel, cannot relate to, cannot understand, something you despise, something that is forced on you, something THE ENTIRE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND.

comfort characters that are canonically aspec? guess what! allos took them too! alastor? “oh well idk he interacts with vox and lucifer once so they must be in love.” georgia from loveless? “aroaces can be in relationships too.” i hate this fan culture and i hate this shipping culture and i hate your romance and i hate your society and i hate you.

you have given me no space to express myself in. you have said the LGBTQ+ community is about love, when i am left feeling none, excluding me, my fellow aspecs, and my trans siblings because god know you put them through hell too. you have told me to seek other fans and all they do is drive me away from what i love. you have called me a broken monster and i just had to fucking take it.

i hate you, and i don’t even want to sugarcoat it anymore. why should i have to specify that i want to spare your feelings? obviously im not all against shipping. obviously im not all against romance. click my profile, you’ll see my all-time favorite ship, you’ll call me a hypocrite. because all you care is the angry words i write and you see on a screen without caring for the complex picture - person - i am behind this account, behind this face.

all you want is your romance and your feelings being spared, and i never have either of those. so excuse me for feeling rage.

[stansavvy]

The amount of people misusing the word delusional is unbelievable to me

No, you are not delusional for wanting to do something slightly above average, you sound like you're having a little donut while going "I'm so bad"

Its all so silly fun and games until someone is actually delusional, in which case it's hilarious and they're a freak

[wilfre-the-medical-bot]

(Man, what a fragging day today.)

(My brother wants me dead.

I found his 'kill list' and I'm at the very top.

Great.

I don't even feel safe at home now.

But I've got nowhere else to go.

And there's nothing I can do.

Heh.

I might actually not have that much time left.

That's just fantastic.)

[sailorgundam308]

Why the FUCK would Spawn Astarion be all into going with Karlach to Avernus in her Origin run, but that option simply doesn't exist in HIS Origin run? The timing excuse is invalid: Larian has changed the timing of her burning up in her Origin run so she can have a romanced companion go/not go choice with her. They could've EASILY done the same for Spawn Astarion Origin. (They even have the dialogue and animations for ASCENDED Astarion to forsake Baldur's Gate and go with her. So that's as ready as well.) That smells like another oversight regarding Karlach, her storyline and the options related to her character. It bothers me so much when there are these absurd gaps in the story when it comes to her character, like she was the last priority they had. Meh.

[ponkydraws]

School is traumatizing.

At least it was for me.

I know that’s a wild statement to make so just let me explain because I don’t know where else to say this. But I do wholeheartedly believe it. Generally being kept in a building without any means of communication to those you love with a bunch of loud, mean people you didn’t like and being forced to do things you didn’t want to do would sound pretty bad, let alone for an autistic kid. Which I was. Undiagnosed. And for ten long years I put up with the noises, the people, the lights, the expectations, the burnout, the panic attacks, the separation anxiety, the bullying.

And boy the separation anxiety was so bad. I used to cry and shake for hours my first years in school. It was so bad my teachers knew me as the kid who wouldn’t stop crying for her mom and who had violent breakdowns if left without an adult. And they just let me cry. For hours. For years. Til exhaustion crept in and I went through a depressive episode at the age of 9. I have never been so utterly miserable. I would’ve done anything to get out of school. Anything.

So then of course I hated the kids who didn’t go to school. Whether it was mental illness or whatever I didn’t care, I just hated them. Misplaced jealousy and anger, I guess. Til this day it makes me squirm if someone tells me they didn’t go to school or were homeschooled because the desperate pain starts bubble up again and I can’t stop it. I just change the subject nowadays. But when I was a kid I would cry. And cry. I mean, how is an 8 year old supposed to comprehend that the living hell they were in was avoidable for some, but not for her. It translates to the conclusion that you just weren’t worth saving from it all.

In high school I fell into some…bad habits in an attempt to get people to realize just how sick and miserable I was. And they noticed. But they didn’t do anything. They pat me on the back and told me to go on. I had no will to live. And a bunch of scars that served as no help whatsoever to my condition because my teachers didn’t care and my parents didn’t understand the extent. I wanted out and I cried and begged desperately for it because I was just so miserable but it didn’t do anything.

So I graduated eventually. Began higher education. Left with hyper vigilance, memory gaps, panic attacks and imposter syndrome. It could’ve been prevented. School traumatized me.

I am 16 years old now, going on 17. I’m still in education, of course. But I feel nauseous when going the same routes I used to take to school, I wake up sweating and shaking from nightmares about my experiences, and I still feel my stomach drop when I see people that look like my bullies. I am better now but I will die on this fucking hill because YES. School is traumatizing, or it can be. It fucked me up in my formative years and I will never have normal stress responses. I am screwed over because my brain was spending all its time on either dissociating from the stress or repressing what it couldn’t handle. I have been in therapy. They came to the conclusion that I have complex childhood trauma, partially from everything I’ve just described. So if you’re like me, just know that I see and I hear you. You’re valid.

[xombilog]

Honesty, idgaf about “But the Characterz doesn’t look like that in canon!” Or “That wouldn’t happen in canon” or “That ship doesn’t even seem possible!” Or “why would you ship that?” SHUTUOSHUTPSHUTPSHUTUPSHUTUUPSHUTUPSHUTPSHUTUPSHUTUP

I like my headcanons. I like my headcanon designs. I like my ships. Their silly. They’re stupid, they’re made for pure entertainment. I am having fun. Anyways have some trophy (Ft.Knife) art that I made a while Ago.

Yea I Hc trophy as someone who drinks boba daily.

[mika-chaos-bean]

ok, this post is to the anon who wont shut up. i am not answering your asks anymore. i will straight up delete them. i saw that last thing you sent and i choose to not answer it because one, you insulted a TON of my mutuals by name. and two, you called me a boy when i said in my intro that my pronouns are anything BESIDES he/him (im not too annoyed about that but I will be if you keep it up).

everyone else, no i am not mad at you. yall are doing fine and i love you all/p. sorry if i sound mean, im kinda going through it right now

[hjaopanses]

i hate everything so much. why did i sneak outside and get dirty with mud and rain and just sit and make stimboards right after like nothing happened?? everything is soaking wet. and im not even going to talk about the ai cat box incident. also next time, im going to climb the roof on a clear sky night because i cannot be free and be outside because im STILL grounded.

its late at night. now ill only get 4 hours of sleep. I HATE THIS.

[moonlitenvyillust]

Rant

Alright. So for background I'm in acceleration class. The system is we go through three years of school in two years. So we have to go through this system where we need to study for an extra two hours at school after the rest of the entire fucking school went home. And this is every day without any means of say

I'm in class with this girl I'll call her Q. She's like, one of those bitches who keeps showing their richness and everybody likes her because she's "so nice" While she's actually the most people pleasing asshole in the world to people she doesn't seem worthy of her time, yourself included?

Now in tests, the acceleration class has their own room. The computer lab. All computers are off and we put our phones in our bags in front of the room. But this girl, she's a sneaky one. She gets answers from her watch.

Like you know those digital watches where you can text? That's her answer sheet. She got answers, from her mother. She's cheating. And nobody seems to realize it!

Now Q and I originally had no beef. We're both in the acceleration class she's socializing with others most of the time and I just want to get this bullshit over with. That is until she stole my sketch book

Now if you're a traditional artist like me, you would know how embarrassing it is for your art to be seen. Especially without your consent. So when I was tweaking out trying to find the book I left on my table two rows ahead of Q's only to find it with Q and her circle, laughing at my drawings, OF COURSE we had beef.

I was so done with her bullshit and when I told her to apologize, she said (rough translation) "it's just a harmless prank girl, no big deal!" And threw the book at me. Like not hand it over, literally threw it

This Iphone using people pleasing pink bow obsessed BITCH

Now if you read my storytimes, you'd probably know I made a dynamite at third grade. I wanted to pull that stunt again but decided against it for now. Considering throwing out a new gossip about her. But that's just me

Anyways @cutob @lenamiyabi @fr0g7yyo @lemonade-tree7 @kindred-spirit-93 @writer-s-block-button this is an opinion needing post