#tell me if any links are broken etc.

[erstwhilesparrow]

double life fic recs

organized by session! (i.e., fics under session 4 will have spoilers up to and including session 4, fics under session 5 will have spoilers for session 5, etc.)

session 1:

these old ghosts; Thunderbirds_and_Lightning - Team Rancher Pacific Rim AU. Brutally sad, but also features: a terrific action sequence, gorgeous prose, unspeakable grief about Flower Husbands, and incredible jaeger and kaiju names.

the right thing; sparxwrites - Cleo and Scott talk the night after the first session. Short and tender and sort of a character study for all of Divorce Quartet despite the other two not being there. Joe Hills, despite also not being there, is a significant presence, which I think really elevates the whole experience.

session 2:

all is fair in love and war but i can't fight with you anymore; wizardlover - Scarian angst with a happy ending. Scar isn't stupid and also he should be allowed to go apeshit. The author is correct on both counts about this. Works out to be very sweet. (Psst. This author does great Scarian just in general -- it is worth checking out the other works in the series this fic is in!)

Detail of the Fire; canarydarity - Team Rancher hurt/comfort, patching each other up after the fire. This one feels a little like walking slowly through an art gallery -- lingering on beautiful / stately / lonely images. Inspired by a Richard Siken poem and does fun things with excerpts from the poem.

those were kinder times; SurrealSupernaturalist - Team Rancher Actually-Ranchers-Not-In-A-Death-Game AU! They escape to a farm and go on a healing arc that is nearly 10k words long. Incredibly sweet, domestic, and warm, plus angst about Jimmy as Omen of Misfortune.

session 3:

[When BigB returned from his rendezvous with Grian,]; orangeocelotmartyn - Ren and Bigb go red and figure out that this isn't going to work. They eat golden apples about it. Very good for Bigb and Ren talking about their relationship! Parting ways basically amicably! Realizing the soulmate thing is bullshit and they can and will pursue what they want!

under my skin?; Sixteenthdays - The soulbound pairs discover that their partnerships are literally, physically changing them. Features snapshot scenes from every soulbound pair as they attempt to cope with this change to varying degrees of success. A total delight all around.

you're the fool, i'm just as well; honeyblock - Pearl gets sick. Scott attempts to soldier through the effects this is having on him to deal with her. Contains: really fun / creative / piercing turns of phrase, Scott and Pearl doing that thing where it feels like they almost understand each other and then everything falls apart again, soulbonds being upsetting.

to catch a secret soulmate; wormcity - The entire server gets looped in on an attempt to find Bigb's secret soulmate. Bets are made, shenanigans are had, the sitcom energy is through the roof. Incredible character voices, and also just generally really fucking funny.

rainy day; whatcaniwriteinthis - It's a rainy day on the Double Life server, and people are waiting it out, or finding ways to occupy themselves, or reflecting on the game so far. The narration style is lots of fun, and it perfectly captures the vibes of hanging out somewhere during a torrential downpour in the late afternoon.

session 4:

[Once a week, the double life players each get one phone call to someone in the outside world.]; dmwrites - The Double Life players make off-world phone calls after session four. They gossip, or pass along life updates, or share blueprints for death machines. Hilarious, and also makes me so goddamn sad about ZombieCleo.

Soulmate-Things With Other People; savannah_owl - During the Homewreckers's pool party, people sneak off in pairs to, shall we say, hang out without their soulmates. There are good times had all around. Features relationships from Third Life, Hermitcraft, and Last Life. (savannah_owl also just has a bunch of really good Double Life fic? Worth taking a look!)

session 5:

hit the ground running; jelliegiggle, rosycheeked - Scar and Grian have a talk at Bigb's grave. Bigb is not, of course, physically there, but it is very much a fic where someone's absence is distinct and palpable. Really really good Desertduo Being Sad And Complicated And Intertwined.

session 6:

[The room is a dim basement room.]; theminecraftbee - Pearl and Scott have a bad time. Superhero AU, featuring a clandestine meeting between two people who hate each other and have no one else who will ever know them the same way. Months after reading it, I'm still obsessed with this one.

and by resilient i mean which holds; TheYesterdayShow - Martyn and Cleo have a bad time. Canon divergent: Cleo and Martyn survive to the end, and wind up talking about what they were supposed to mean to each other and what happens next. Absolutely brilliant characterization for both of them.

sugar, we're going down swinging; BananasofThorns - Etho and Joel have a-- Wait. [checks notes] Okay, honestly, they seem like they're having a fine time. Canon divergence where after outliving every other pair, Boat Boys fight to the bloody death. It's incredibly pretty and perfectly paced.

[houseofoddballs]

OK, wow, a lot of you really wanted to go for the "good" ending, right? Well, I'm sorry, but there was no good ending. Enjoy my little oddballs! Final word count is about 2,400 words!

Tw: aggression, angst, emotional hurt, vulgarity, physical abuse? Tell me If there are more to add!

This wasn't working. You stood inside your bathroom, propped against the sink as you stared into your own eyes. They just looked so sad now, so hollow. You could remember Simon cupping your cheek as he stared into your eyes under starlight and murmured against your lips how much he loved seeing them light up around him.

What you wouldn't give to have that again. Staring up at the stars with Simon, his fingers brushing through your hair. You missed the soft mumbled apologies whenever he would catch a snag, and the way he focused on you more than any silly constellation.

"Why stars?" You had asked him, on probably the third date where he took you stargazing with either a picnic or just some takeout. I mean, this was Simon after all. Deep, brooding, knew all of the vital organs and arteries on the human body, etc. He didn’t exactly seem like the soft stargazing type, especially with as clumsy as he was at romance.

You were met with a gruff grunt and a shrug at the time. But later, once you two had eaten and were just laying back together, hand in hand, he answered your question. "'S because no matter where I'm deployed, I know I'm always lookin' up at the same sky as you."

You were snapped back to reality by a sharp rap at your door and the voice of a Scottsman who you had began to secretly loathe. "Aye, lass, ya' mind bringin' up the wheely bin? Ghost said he would take the trash out if ya do." A soft sigh was leaving your lips before you could even process his words, turning away from the reflection of your despondent hollow eyes.

Snow crunched under your feet as you trekked out of the garrage to fetch the trash bin from its place next to the mailbox. Cold seeped through the thin layers of your clothing, a frigid therapy to clear your mind and remind you that you were alive. It was uncomfortable, but in the most comfortable and enveloping sort of way. Like a hug that lasts a bit too long from someone who you know just wants to help.

Hugs. You missed those.

Your eyes flicked up to the night sky, moving between the stars like a pachinko ball bouncing off of celestial pegs. Maybe this was it. Maybe it was time to put yourself first for a change. The very thought made your stomach twist and churn with guilt, but you were far beyond guilt at this point. It wasn't healthy for you to spend afternoons sitting on your floor with you back pressed against the door so you could just listen to Soap and Simon talk without intruding on their time. It wasn't healthy for you to make yourself dissappear just to please an overgrown child. It wasn't healthy for you to beat yourself up over standing up for yourself and what you needed.

So, this was it. You had to be done. Simon had been given more than enough chances to put you first, and he hadn't taken any of them. Simon had simply stayed off to the side complacently as Johnny pushed you further and further away. So beit then.

Soap won.

You didn't bother packing most of your stuff knowing that it would only make it harder to leave, and if you let yourself think about it too much then you were going to stay trapped, haunting their broken relationship. No.

Your favorite clothes, toiletries, and other things went into your suitcase as you finally decided to free yourself. With every item you packed, it felt like another link was cut from the chain that was wrapped around your neck, trapping you here. And yet, there is terror that comes with freedom. You canceled your phone plan that night and waited until Ghost and Johnny went to bed to make your move.

Guttural grunts and lewd moans were your signal to move, rolling your eyes as you left a single sheet of paper folded neatly on your bed. Neither of them hardly ever came to check on you, so you reckoned that you had at least a week before even Simon noticed your absence. Unless, of course, Johnny noticed your car missing. But, even if he did, it didn't matter. This was it.

"Goodby, Simon. I loved you."

And then you were gone. Tossing your suitcase in the back and driving off into the night. The stars were, and always would be, a painful reminder of Simon. But they say that time heals all wounds. You would just have to test that.

no. No. NO. NO!

Simon's hands trembled as they clutched the small piece of paper from you pillows, eyes tracing over and reading each line until he couldn’t make out the words through the tears welling in his eyes.

Gone. You were gone.

His angel, his sweet, his world, his everything. As much as he tried to fool himself into asking why, he knew the answer.

Simon loved you desperately. After everything that had happened to him, his father, losing his family, being buried alive, being hung by his ribs, all of it; after all of it was when he had met you, and Ghost felt truly alive in a manner he had never felt before.

There were quite a few differences between feeling alive in the heat of battle and feeling alive with someone you love, and yet, both of them made Ghost acutely aware of his pounding heart, both of them made Ghost's stomach twist up in knots, both of them brought blood to Ghost's face.

And Ghost wouldn't have had it any other way. Ghost had spent so long being Ghost, that he was starting to forget who Simon was. But you changed that. A simple holiday with Price, that was all it took for him to meet and fall so ridiculously in love with you that he walked around base with a dopy grin under his Skull balaclava at the thought of you texting him.

As Simon numbly sat on the edge of your bed, clutching so tight to the paper that he was afraid it might shred, your entire relationship flashed before his eyes.

Your first date, your first hug, your first kiss, your first time, When he told you his real name, the first time he took off his mask in front of you, the first time he broke down to you. How could he have been such an idiot?

Simon tired to think back on His and Johnny's relationship in a similar way, but it just wasn't the same. They had been great friends in the task force already, so when they were both captured together, of course that was when things had to change.

Sure, he had fallen for Johnny's kind words and beautiful eyes when they were tied together and bleeding on the cold concrete. Ghost should have known better!! But when the stubborn Scottsman confessed so sweetly so that he wouldn't die with any regrets, well, it was hard not to feel touched.

But they just weren't compatible.

Johnny was loud, immature, selfish, didn't think very far ahead, and he was just so clingy. And, yet the thought of leaving him made Simon's heart ache whenever he thought about it. Johnny didn't treat him like he was in love, but Ghost was sure that Soap loved him in his own way.

But it wasn't worth this. He tried calling you, searching for you, emailing you for the queen's sake! But he found nothing. You had been so isolated that you didn't really have any friends that Simon knew of. He was just lost.

He should have taken the ache of being honest with John over this overwhelmingly hollow torment in his chest. When you left, you took hardly anything, but you took everything from Simon.

The world became colorless, music lost it's rhythm, food lost it's taste, life lost its luster. And Johnny? Well, he became a lot harder to tolerate.

"Did ya hear their makin' a new-" "Not now Johnny." It was like he didn't care. Didn't care that you were gone, didn't care how badly Simon was hurting. "Is this about the lass again? Look, I'm sorry Si, but it's not your fault she didn't care enought-"

"Shut up." Soap looked at Ghost in shock for a moment, a brow quirking up. "What?" "You heard me." Now Johnny's brows were furrowing, his lips setting into that stairght line that meant he was about to win.

Something about Soap? He was impossible to argue with. He would argue in circles to the point where it didn't matter which side he was on as long as he won, which was incredibly frustrating to say the least and made any arguments completely pointless because he would win in the end out of sheer exasperation. It was just easier that way. But not this time.

"Shut. Up." "Look, ya' ken nae go blamin' me for the way she left! She-" Simon was up in an instant, a hand around Soaps throat, effectively shutting him up and pinning him to the wall. Johnny reached up and clawed at his wrist as Simon squeezed just a bit too tight, he could feel Johnny's windpipe being crushed into itself. But he didn't care. Not right now.

"You absolute fuckin' nubty. You just don't get it, do you? Well, seargant, let me spell it out for you, you dense fuck." Simon's eyes were burning, but this wasn't Simon anymore. He could almost feel his balaclava over his face as he glowered down at Soap, eyes filled with disdain and mallace. This was Ghost, someone who hadn't been out to play in years, despite the name sticking around.

Soap winced as Ghost tightened his grip even further, a snarl meeting his lips as he spoke. "She was MINE. And I was hers. We'll use a pie for the sake of your small. Fucking. Brain." Each venomous word was punctuated with a twitch of Ghost's hand, a lingering desire to just squeeze all of the life out of Soap right here and now.

He could see Soaps eyes rolling back as dark spots were inevitably clouding them. That was no good. He had to be awake for what Simon had to say. Ghost loosened his grip just enough to allow Soap the bare minimum of blood and oxygen before delivering a harsh slap across his face with his free hand.

"Ah ah ah sausage, stay with me. So, the pie. She goes and gets a third of the pie because I'm in the military and she doesn't get to see my beautiful mug very often. Then, she hears that I'm coming home for good. She gets all of that delicious pie. Ya' followin' me Johnny?" A strangled nodd. Good. Ghost didn't care about the strangled noises leaving soap or the way that tears pricked his eyes.

"Good boy Johnny. So, she thinks she's getting all of this pie that I am. And then, I come back toting your arse along like some fucking new pet. Well, now she thinks she only gets half of the pie. But she still agrees because she was a fucking angel." Ghost's voice was cold again, filled with the same gruffness that the military had imparted into him.

Ghost hadn't been out in ages. It felt good. Ghost could feel Soaps pulse under his fingers, feel his lifeblood. It was intoxicating. He loved that look of pure terror, missed people looking at him like the monster he was.

"Except, instead of half of the pie, she's still only getting a third, because SOMEONE is a greedy fucking pig. Wonder who that is, Johnny?" Ghost cocked his head to the side as he dug his nails into the flesh of Johnny's neck, reveling in the way that he winced.

"And then what happens? This little piggy goes and takes even more of the fuckin pie. You just keep taking and taking and TAKING until all that was left was fucking crumbs. Do you get it now? You fucking muppet."

Soap nodded furiously as he gripped Ghost's wrist, trying desperately to pull him off. But it wasn't Ghost's fault Johnny hadn't been working out as much. Five years ago he would have at least been able to put up a fight. This was just pathetic to Ghost.

"And so, she lapped at your fucking crumbs like the good girl she was, because she fucking loved me. Do you love me Johnny?" Ghost cut off Soaps nodding with a glare. "I know your cock does, but that's not what I'm asking. Do YOU love me? Because I don't think you do. I think you love having someone complacent to you. You love thinking you have complete control and having everything bend to your fucking whim."

Ghost pulled away finally, letting Soap crumple to the ground coughing and clutching his neck. Ghost just shook his head and made his way to the door, grabbing the keys to his jeep off the rack and his familiar skull balaclava as he did so.

"Pick yourself up. Shits about to change, and I'm done letting you walk all over me. You better hope I find my girl again, or you better be gone when I come back. Your choice Johnny."

It wasn't good, wasn't healthy by any means, but everyone had a breaking point.

And you? What did you do? You lived. Love was definitely off of the table, but you managed to find a place to stay with a nice landlord who helped you find a job in your new small town. A nice older gentleman with sandy chops and a fatherly disposition. He became your best friend. Romance was dead to you at this point, but he was just so gentlemanly and sweet.

Little did you know that Price had forbid Simon and Johnny from your life after what you told him. He was protecting you in more ways than you knew from both the devil you knew and the devil you thought you knew. Simon was ravenous, like a rabbid dog desperately trying to get to you. But Price wasn't going to let him hurt you anymore.

And he didn't.

[journeytothewestresearch]

Can you please tell me what abilities sun wukong have because am always confused about it i even hear some people says that sun wukong is omniscient and omnipresent and can control time or that he is is a boundless character

At no point in JTTW is Monkey ever depicted as a boundless character with omniscience, omnipresence, and control over time. Anyone claiming that has never read the novel. Never ever trust any online claims about Sun Wukong unless a cited quote is provided.

Having said that, I am slowly compiling a comprehensive list of all of Monkey's magical abilities and skills, complete with corresponding Chinese terms and citations. However, I am nowhere close to being done (and won't be for years), so I can only give you a general list at this time. But I will link to my past articles where applicable.

The following is based on a list I wrote a few months ago for someone looking to make their D&D campaign more authentic.

Immortality - He has six layers of immortality. But these are more like layers of invulnerability. As a "bogus immortal" (yaoxian, 妖仙) he is still susceptible to injury and death because he hasn’t yet achieved Buddha-nature and broken free of the wheel of rebirth (see note #1 here for an explanation).

Invulnerability - He has an adamantine hide that can't be pierced or hurt by earthly or heavenly weapons and elements (this doesn't count the times that he allows himself to be cut). This is thanks to all of the immortal foodstuff he had eaten in heaven being refined within his body by his samadhi fire, giving him a "diamond body" (jingang zhi qu, 金鋼之軀). Sometimes he uses this invulnerability to freak out demons by blocking a sword strike with his bald head. However, he can still be hurt. For example, he is twice wounded by special elements born from spiritual cultivation, samadhi fire and wind (the book treats cultivated and heavenly elements as two different things). Also, one villain, a scorpion demoness energized with Buddhist dharma power, is able to successfully penetrate his skin by stinging him in the face with her tail.

72 changes - He can transform into anything. The only flaw is his tail, which doesn't always change the way he wants it to. Or, a character recognizes him because of his red butt.

Cloud somersault - This allows him to fly 108,000 li (33,554 mi / 54,000 km) in a single leap. The skill is actually a metaphor for instantaneous enlightenment, for those who achieve it will immediately arrive in the Buddha's paradise.

Magic hairs - He can change any one of his 84,000 hairs into anything he wants (tools, random objects, living creatures, etc.) These include hair clones, which are autonomous copies of himself that can range into the tens, hundreds, thousands, millions, or even billions. However, he only deploys these on a small scale in the novel. He never uses the power to its full stated extent.

Super strength - His greatest feat is carrying two mountains while running "with the speed of a meteor." But there are characters physically stronger than him. For instance, Monkey cannot escape the grip of the Great Peng bird once he is caught in his powerful talons.

Martial arts - He is proficient in armed and unarmed combat, being able to go toe-to-toe with deities with centuries more combat experience than him. "Short Fist," a historical style, is listed as his preferred boxing method. But he mainly relies on his magic iron staff for fighting.

General magic - Monkey is shown capable of calling forth gods and spirits, growing or shrinking to any size, parting fire and water, creating impassable barriers, conjuring wind storms, casting illusions, freezing people in place, putting anyone to sleep, unlocking any lock, bestowing superhuman strength, bringing the dead back to life, turning invisible, changing someone's appearance, traveling to and from heaven and hell, etc.

Magic Eyes - He can see through illusions. But this isn't always portrayed consistently, for I know of several times where Guanyin fools him, and even a god of the soil, a lesser deity, is once able to do the same thing.

Medicine - He can diagnose maladies and concoct medicines to solve the issue.

You can see that omniscience, omnipresence, and control over time are not listed. I think the problem is that people are confusing Sun Wukong at two different points in his character arc. The powers listed above come from the journey itself (ch. 13 to 100). The omni-level powers would come after he achieves Buddhahood at the end of the novel (ch. 100). However, it's very, very important to know that the story ends before Sun Wukong, now the "Victorious Fighting Buddha," performs any feats (i.e. he has no feats as a Buddha). I'm sure people could assign him powers ascribed to other Buddhas in religious literature, but what happens after the story ends is beyond canon.

I hope this helps.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Hello!! I'm back for: more whining about TotK Quest Design Philosophy

I can't reblog a really great post I just saw for some reason (tumblrrrr *shakes my fist*), but hmmmm yeah not only do I completely agree, but I think I might expand on why I feel so much annoyance towards TotK's quest design philosophy at some point, because it does extend past the fundamentally broken setup of trying to punch a pseudo-mystery game on top of BotW's bones, where the core objective was always explicit and centered and stapled the entire world together; or the convoluted and inefficient way it tells its story through the Tears, the somehow single linear exploration-driven quest in the entire game.

Basically: I'm talking about the pointless back-and-forths. There were a lot of them, a lot that acted against the open world philosophy, and almost none of them ever recontextualized the environment through neither gameplay abilities nor worldbuilding nor character work.

I'll take two examples: the initial run to Hyrule Castle (before you get your paraglider), and then the billion back-and-forths in the Zora questline.

I think?? the goal of that initial quest to Hyrule Castle is to familiarize you with the landmark, introduce the notion that weapons rot, tell you about the gloom pits, and also tell you that Zelda sightings are a thing? But to force any of these ideas on you before giving you a paraglider is, in my opinion, pretty unnecessary. I think the reason it happens in that order is to prevent Link from simply pummeling down to the gloom pit under Hyrule Castle and fight Ganondorf immediately while still introducing ideas surrounding the location; but genuinely, the Zelda sighting makes the next events even more confusing? Why wouldn't you focus all your priorities in reaching the castle if you just saw her there? Why lose time investigating anything else? Genuinely: what is stopping you from getting your paraglider and immediately getting yourself back there, plunging into the depths to try and get to the literal bottom of this? (beyond player literacy assuming this is where the final boss would be, and so not to immediately spoil yourself --which, in an open world game, you should never be able to spoil yourself by engaging with the mechanics normally, and if you can that's a genuine failure of design)

I think, personally, that you should not have been pointed to go there at all. That anything it brings to the table, you could have learned more organically by investigating yourself, or by exploring in that direction on your own accord --or, maybe you think Zelda is up there in the castle, and then the region objectives become explicitely about helping you reaching that castle (maybe by building up troops to help you in a big assault, or through the Sages granting you abilities to move past level-design oriented hurdles in your way, etc). Either way: no need to actually make you walk the distance and back, because the tediousness doesn't teach you anything you haven't already learned about traversal in the (extremely long, btw, needlessly so I would say) tutorial area.

But to take another example, I'll nitpick at a very specific moment in the Zora Questline, that is honestly full of these back-and-forth paddings that recontextualize absolutely nothing and teach you nothing you didn't already know. The most egregious example, in my opinion, is the moment where you are trying to find the king, and you have to learn by listening in to the zora children who do not let you listening in.

So okay. I think Zelda is great when it does whimsy, and children doing children things guiding you is a staple of the series, and a great one at that. But here? It does not work for me on any level. Any tension that could arise from the situation flattens because nobody seems to care enough about their king disappearing in the middle of a major ecological crisis, except for children who are conveniently dumb enough not to graps the severity of the situation, but not stressed out enough that it could be construed as a way for them to cope about it and make anything feel more serious or pressing. It feels like a completely arbitrary blocker that isn't informed by the state of the world, doesn't do anything interesting gameplay-wise with this idea, doesn't build up the mood, and genuinely feels like busywork for its own sake.

This is especially tragic when the inherent concept of "the zora king has been wounded by what most zoras would believe to be Zelda and is hiding from his own people so the two factions do not go to war over it" has such tension and interest and spark that the game absolutely refuse to explore --instead having you collect carved stones who do not tell you anything new, splatter water in a floating island, thrud through mud who feel more like an inconvenience than a threat or, hey, listen to children playing about their missing king less than a couple of years after being freed from Calamity Ganon's menace. It feels like level designers/system designers having vague technical systems that are hard-coded in the game now, and we need to put them to use even if it's not that interesting, not that fun or not that compelling. It's the sort of attitude that a lot of western RPGs get eviscerated for; but here, for some reason, it's just a case of "gameplay before story", instead of, quite simply, a case of poorly thought-out gameplay.

Not every quest in the game is like this! I think the tone worked much better in the sidequests overall, that are self-contained and disconnected from the extremely messy main storyline, and so can tell a compelling little tale from start to finish without the budget to make you waddle in a puddle of nothing for hours at a time. It's the only place where you actually get character arcs that are allowed to feel anything that isn't a variation on "very determined" or "curious about the zonai/ruins", and where you get to feel life as it tries to blossom back into a new tomorrow for Hyrule.

But if I'm this harsh about the main storyline, it really is because I find it hard to accept that we do not criticize a structure that is at times so half-assed that you can almost taste employees' burnout seeping through the cracks --the lack of thematic ambition and self-reflection and ingeniosity outside of system design and, arguably at times, level design-- simply because it's Hyrule and we're happy to be there.

There's something in the industry that is called the "wow effect", which is their way to say "cool" without saying "cool". It's basically the money shots, but for games: it's what makes you go "ohhhh" when you play. And it's great! The ascension to the top of the Ark was one of them --breathtaking, just an absolute high point of systems working together to weave an epic tale. You plummeting from the skies to the absolute depths of hell is another one; most of the dungeons rely on that factor to keep your attention; the entire Zelda is a dragon storyline is nothing but "wow effect" (and yeah, the moment where you do remove the Master Sword did give me shivers, I'll admit to this willingly) and so is Ganondorf's presence and presentation in the game --he's here to be cool, non-specifically mean, hateable in a non-threatening way and to give us a good sexy time, do not think about it too hard. What bothers me is that TotK's world has basically nothing to offer but "wow effect"; that if you bother to dig at anything it presents you for more than a second, everything crumbles into incoherence --not only in story, but in mood, in themes, in identity. This is a wonderfully fun game with absolutely nothing to say, relying on the cultural osmosis and aura of excellency surrounding Zelda to pass itself off as meatier than it really is. This is what I say when I criticize it as self-referential to a fault; half of the story makes no sense if this is your first Zelda game, and what little of that world there is tends to be deeply unconcerned and uncurious about itself.

And no, Breath of the Wild wasn't like this. Breath of the Wild was deeply curious about itself; the entire game was built off curiosity and discovery, experimentation and challenge (and I say this while fully admitting I had more fun with the loop of TotK, which I found more forgiving overall). The traversal in Tears of the Kingdom is centered around: how do I skip those large expanses of land in the most efficient and fun way possible. How do I automate these fights. How do I find resources to automate both traversal and fights better. It's a game that asks questions (who are the zonais, who is Rauru and what is his deal, what is the Imprisoning War about, where is Zelda), and then kind of doesn't really care about the answers (yeah the zonais are like... guys, they did a cool kingdom, Rauru used to run it, the Imprisoning War is literally whatever all you have to care about is who to feel sad for and who to kill about it and you don't get a choice and certainly cannot feel any ambiguous feelings about any of that, and Zelda is a dragon but we will never expand on how it felt for her to make such a drastic and violent choice and also nobody cares that's a plot point you could *remove* from the game without changing the golden path at all).

I'm so aggravated by the argument "in Zelda, it's gameplay before story" because gameplay is story. That's the literal point of my work as a narrative designer: trying to breach the impossibly large gap between what the game designers want to do, and what the writers are thinking the game will be about (it's never the same game). And in TotK, the game systems are all about automation and fusion. It's about practicality and efficiency. It's also about disconnecting stuff from their original purpose as you optimize yourself out of danger, fear, or curiosity --except for the way you can become even more efficient. And sure, BotW was about this too; but you were rewarded because you had explored the world in the first place, experimented enough, put yourself in danger, went to find out the story of who you used to be and why you should care about Hyrule. I'm not here to argue BotW was a well-written game; I think it was pretty tropey at large to be honest, safe for a couple of moments of brilliance, but it had a coherent design vision that rewarded your curiosity while never getting in the way of the clarity of your objective. There is a convolutedness to TotK that, to me, reveals some extremely deep-seated issues with the direction the series is heading towards; one that, at its core, cares more about looking the part of a Zelda game than having any deeper conversation about what a Zelda game should be.

[slitheringghost]

"And Cain Repented Not Of What He Had Done": Harry Potter as Retelling of Cain and Abel, Part 1

Then Cain, the hard-hearted and cruel murderer, took a large stone and smote his brother with it upon the head, until his brains oozed out, and he weltered in his blood, before him. And Cain repented not of what he had done. “I regret it,” said Voldemort coldly. He turned away; there was no sadness in him, no remorse. Thereupon Allah sent forth a raven who began to scratch the earth to show him how he might cover the corpse of his brother. So seeing he cried: Woe unto me! Was I unable even to be like this raven and find a way to cover the corpse of my brother? Then he became full of remorse at his doing. // And he became of the regretful. “But before you try to kill me, I’d advise you to think about what you’ve done... Think, and try for some remorse, Riddle…”

Section 1.0: Introduction

The Harry Potter series is, at its heart, a retelling and performance of Cain and Abel, the biblical story of the first murder, of Cain telling his brother Abel ‘let us go out into the field’ and killing him. In this retelling, the characters of HP put on different masks, perform different parts, play several characters at once.

Like most stories, Cain and Abel has many different interpretations, and JKR has weaved every single one of those interpretations into HP in a gigantic intricate web that's one of the most fascinating and formative parts of the series, yet one that goes unnoticed by most of fandom.

JKR essentially wrote HP like one long Cain and Abel web weaving post, and in this meta I’ll be quoting all the various interpretations in Jewish, Christian, and Islamic tradition with the corresponding passages in the HP books alluding to them.

Despite the original Cain and Abel story, it's not just about brothers - because HP as a retelling is about brothers and sisters killing their brothers and sisters. And at the center of it all is:

1) the events between and attempted murders of Voldemort, Harry, and Lily by each other

2) the murders of “sisters” Ariana Dumbledore, Merope Gaunt, and Lily Evans by their "brothers" (brothers loosely referring to any familial or symbolic familial dynamic) - Ariana murdered by Albus, Aberforth, and Grindelwald; Merope’s murder by Marvolo, Morfin, and Tom Riddle Sr., and then the six men leading to Lily’s death - Sirius, Snape, Wormtail, Harry, James, and Voldemort.

Some of these characters are Cain in the traditional sense, cruel intentional murderers - such as Voldemort as the main Cain of the story, Merope's family, Wormtail, perhaps Bellatrix depending on how you interpret her. Others are Cain much more symbolically and allude to their unintentionally bringing about the deaths of their loved ones and the subsequent guilt - such as Sirius's guilt over bringing about the deaths of his "brother and sister" James and Lily, Harry's guilt over Lily dying for him, etc.

Notice how there’s a heavy emphasis on twins and sibling dynamics in HP, and it’s because all of that links to the story as a Cain and Abel retelling:

“Fred and George, who were identical to the last freckle.” Fred and George turned to each other and said together, “Wow — we’re identical!” “Parvati Patil’s twin’s in Ravenclaw, and they’re identical. You’d think they’d be together, wouldn’t you?” "Or was it Potter’s identical twin in the Hog’s Head that day?" Albus and Aberforth wore matching lacy collared jackets and had identical, shoulder-length hairstyles. Albus looked several years older, but otherwise the two boys looked very alike, for this was before Albus’s nose had been broken and before he started wearing glasses. “You will suggest to the Order of the Phoenix,” Snape murmured, “that they use decoys. Polyjuice Potion. Identical Potters.”

Harry and Voldemort are framed as "twin brothers" (brother wands, the twin cores, etc), as Cain and Abel are brothers and in some interpretations twins too, and the lightning scar on Harry's forehead is the mark of Cain.

Voldemort as Cain is driving the story - he murders or nearly murders almost every familial relationship he has, from all his living relatives to Ginny as a "sister", to Snape and Bellatrix, to of course, his "brother" Harry. Voldemort also turns his followers/“true family” into Cain as they become more and more like him - i.e. Barty Crouch Jr. murders his father, Snape is made to murder his father figure Dumbledore, Bellatrix ordered to kill Tonks, etc.

And, Voldemort marking Harry as his equal, turning him into someone like himself, has multiple meanings - because just like he did with his followers, Voldemort who is Cain himself marked Harry as Cain too, Harry marked to one day kill his "brother" Voldemort, as well as marked to inadvertently lead to the deaths of his loved ones, to become a killer of his "family" the way Voldemort is, due to Voldemort's choice regarding the prophecy.

Additionally, in some interpretations, Cain and Abel have twin sisters, which is also weaved into this text in integral ways - one being that Lily is framed is Voldemort's symbolic sister the way Harry and Voldemort are "brothers", which you can read about in my meta Unweaving Canon Lily: Parallels to Voldemort.

Also note that most of these characters play the role of Cain, as well as playing multiple other roles - there isn't just one Cain and one Abel and one the Lord and one Cain's twin sister, etc. Indeed that’s the point, because they’re “twins”, they’re not just Cain and Abel, but often Cain and Cain.

In Parts 1 and 2 I'll explore all the different interpretations of the original passage, and then in Part 3 I'll expand on the passage itself in Genesis 4:1-18. Read Part 2 here. Read on Ao3 here.

Some disclaimers and notes: 1) This meta is meant to unravel a lot of the symbolism and allusions JKR weaved into the story, and isn’t necessarily a literal interpretation of these characters.

2) Some of these may seem strange to emphasize, because obviously they're words or phrases that appear often and may not be intentional references to this narrative thread, but some specific details and JKR's writing style makes me think they are - i.e. see how JKR weaved in Dracula passages in this post; there's also Tom Riddle’s “burnished gold shield” borrowing from a passage in the Aeneid in this post, etc. So an extremely close reading of the text and paying attention to the exact wording (sometimes even just a single word) does matter a lot here to catch the allusions.

On that note, I’ve done my best to elaborate on the quotes, but since this is sort of like web weaving, many times the quotes are the meta, so make sure to pay close attention to them.

3) There’s a lot to unpack and it’s really hard to fit everything in one meta series - so bear with me on some of loose threads, I plan to elaborate on them in future metas.

4) Admittedly I got lazy with citations - my main sources are the article Why Did Cain Kill Abel? and this article on the Quran, and you can find elaboration on these interpretations and the sources for them there.

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Section 2.0

2.1 Now the brothers rejoiced in different pursuits. Abel, the younger, had regard for righteousness and, believing that God was present in all the things that were done by him, looked after virtue; and his life was that of a shepherd. On the other hand, Cain was both most wicked in other respects and, looking only to gain, was the first to think of ploughing the earth; and he killed his brother for the following reason.

It seeming best to them to sacrifice to God, Cain offered fruits from the cultivation of the soil and plants, while Abel offered milk and the first-born of the grazing animals. God took greater pleasure in this latter sacrifice, being honored by things that grow automatically and in accordance with nature but not by those things that grow by the force of grasping man with craftiness. Consequently, Cain, provoked that Abel had been valued more highly by God, killed his brother and rendering his corpse unseen, supposed that he would escape notice.

The following quotes may have weaved in the first passage, as Cain is often referred to as "the wicked one" - in HBP, “Of the Horcrux, wickedest of magical inventions, we shall not speak nor give direction” and “This time, as you will have seen, he killed not for revenge, but for gain.”

As for the second passage, Lily’s sacrifice isn’t just referring to Lily as a Christ figure - it’s also the sacrifice Cain and Abel offer to God. There are several ways it could fit - one being that Voldemort and Harry as Cain and Abel respectively, offered the same sacrifice which is Lily's death.

Voldemort doing so was looked upon with disfavor by God, because he was murdering his symbolic "sister", which lead to his partial death, while God favored Harry’s sacrifice because he got his mother willingly sacrificing herself for him, which led to Harry surviving the Killing Curse.

The jealousy aspect then, which is the most common interpretation of why Cain killed Abel, refers to Voldemort's jealousy over Harry's immortality:

“Well,” said Riddle, smiling pleasantly, “how is it that you - a skinny boy with no extraordinary magical talent - managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort’s powers were destroyed?” (CoS)

Harry’s immortality is one way in which Voldemort and Harry are twins, and in a way is tied Voldemort’s name (meaning “flight from death” in French) - because Harry is Voldemort’s “twin brother” Flight From Death #2 (and Lily is Voldemort’s “twin sister”, Flight From Death #3 - more in this in future metas).

Another interpretation is that Voldemort and Harry are both Cain, and like the twins they are, both again offering the same sacrifice, and here both offering Lily as a sacrifice alludes to the guilt Harry feels at (inadvertently) being Cain and bringing about Lily's death for his immortality. Both offerings were looked upon with disfavor and rejected by God, and both Voldemort and Harry as Cain were exiled elsewhere, made to restlessly wander ("You will be a restless wanderer on the earth" from Genesis 4:12) - Voldemort in Albania, Harry with the Dursleys.

The last line of this passage - Cain, provoked that Abel had been valued more highly by God, killed his brother and rendering his corpse unseen, supposed that he would escape notice - is extremely important to analyzing Lily, but that’s for another meta.

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2.2 She gave birth to an infant and his color was that of the stars. He fell into the hands of the midwife and (at once) he began to pluck up the grass, for in his mother’s hut grass was planted. The midwife replied to him and told him, “God is just that he did not at all leave you in my hands. For, you are Cain, the perverse one, killer of the good, for you are the one who plucks up the fruit-bearing tree, and not he who plants it. You are the bearer of bitterness and not of sweetness.”

Interestingly, Sirius and Snape as narrative mirrors were inspired by the same passage - both of them are Cain, Sirius for causing his "brother" James and "sister" Lily's deaths through the Secret Keeper switch, and Snape for causing his "sister" Lily's death by conveying the prophecy.

"Color of the stars" refers to the Black family's star naming pattern, while "grass planted in his mother's hut" refers to Snape's connection to Eileen Prince and Potions, and Snape is shown "plucking up the grass and fruit bearing tree" in this scene in The Prince's Tale:

“Oh yes, they’re arguing,” said Snape. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. “But it won’t be that long and I’ll be gone.” “Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You’re not going to end up in Azkaban, you’re too —” He turned red again and shredded more leaves. Then a small rustling noise behind Harry made him turn: Petunia, hiding behind a tree, had lost her footing. (DH)

That refers to Snape plucking up the forbidden fruit of knowledge offered by Voldemort as the snake (see this meta by @ashesandhackles). The line about being the bearer of bitterness may refer to how Petunia and Snape, as Lily’s “sister and brother”, both have similarly negative names - Petunia flowers symbolize bitterness, anger, resentment; Severus means serious, grave, stern.

Fandom has pointed out that Snape is often associated with feminine figures i.e. Lady of the Lake; it's possible that Snape wearing women clothes (i.e. wearing his mother's clothes while sitting on the ground facing Lily - facing her as her reflection/"twin") is an allusion to Snape as Cain's twin sister (Cain in this case could be Lily, Voldemort, Harry, or Sirius).

Snape is also all but explicitly called Harry’s identical twin in OoTP - the joke here is that while Fudge was referring to the DA meeting in the Hog's Head, it was once upon a time Harry's “identical twin” - a.k.a Snape - in the Hog's Head:

“Yes, do let’s hear the latest cock-and-bull story designed to pull Potter out of trouble! Go on, then, Dumbledore, go on — Willy Widdershins was lying, was he? Or was it Potter’s identical twin in the Hog’s Head that day? Or is there the usual simple explanation involving a reversal of time, a dead man coming back to life, and a couple of invisible dementors?” (OoTP) “The Hog’s Head Inn, which Sybill chose for its cheapness, has long attracted, shall we say, a more interesting clientele than the Three Broomsticks [...] Of course, I had not dreamed, when I set out to meet Sybill Trelawney, that I would hear anything worth overhearing. My — our — one stroke of good fortune was that the eavesdropper was detected only a short way into the prophecy and thrown from the building.” (OoTP)

The "infant the color of the stars" additionally refers to Bellatrix, who also is Cain, killer of her “brother” Sirius, and later of Tonks; she also plays the “twin sister” of Cain (in this case Sirius).

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2.3 And the time arrived when Cain and Abel had gone up toward their fields. Two demons resembling Cain and Abel came. Now, one demon reproached the other demon. He became angry with him and took a stone sword, which was of a transparent stone. He cut his throat and killed him. And when Cain saw the blood, he went quickly and took the stone in his hand(s).

This passage corresponds to the scene of Ron destroying Slytherin’s locket - the stone sword is Gryffindor’s sword, Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione are the demon resembling Cain and Ron as the other demon, Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione “reproach” Ron aka torment and taunt him, Ron becomes angry and kills Riddle in the locket with the “stone sword”.

The imagery of "cutting his throat" may also refer to how the locket strangles Harry:

All he could do was raise a shaking hand to his throat and feel the place where the locket had cut tightly into his flesh. It was gone: Someone had cut him free. (DH)

All of them in that scene resemble Cain (in this case Voldemort), because the Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione, distorted versions of the real people, verbally abuse and humiliate Ron using his insecurities exactly like Voldemort does to others.

Ron here also resembles Cain - when Harry sees Ron's red eyes, he fears that Ron too has become Cain, that he's become like Tom Riddle and will kill him, his "brother".

“Ron, stab it, STAB IT!” Harry yelled, but Ron did not move: His eyes were wide, and the Riddle-Harry and the Riddle-Hermione were reflected in them, their hair swirling like flames, their eyes shining red, their voices lifted in an evil duet. Ron looked toward him, and Harry thought he saw a trace of scarlet in his eyes. “Ron — ?” The sword flashed, plunged: Harry threw himself out of the way, there was a clang of metal and a long, drawn-out scream. Harry whirled around, slipping in the snow, wand held ready to defend himself: but there was nothing to fight. (DH)

The Cain and Abel passage then continues, and now this part corresponds to the scene of Voldemort killing Snape, with LV as Cain and Snape as Abel.

2.4 But when Abel saw him coming, he begged him, “Do not make me die, O my brother Cain!” He, however, did not accept his prayer and he spilled Abel’s blood in front of him.

And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape’s face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes. “My Lord — let me go to the boy —” […] “You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen.” “My Lord —” “[…] While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine.” “My Lord!” Snape protested, raising his wand. “It cannot be any other way,” said Voldemort. “I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last.” [...] He pointed it at the starry cage holding the snake, which drifted upward, off Snape, who fell sideways onto the floor, blood gushing from the wounds in his neck. [...] He did not know why he was doing it, why he was approaching the dying man: He did not know what he felt as he saw Snape’s white face, and the fingers trying to staunch the bloody wound at his neck. (DH)

Interestingly, once Snape realizes Voldemort's about to kill him, he protests and begs Voldemort not to kill him three times, echoing Lily begging Voldemort and how she offers her own life in exchange for Harry's three times.

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2.5 It was said: Cain killed Abel by throwing a rock at his head while he was asleep. It was also said: Cain choked Abel violently and bit him to death as beasts do.

Not sure what throwing a rock at his head refers to, but the latter sentence ties to the scene where Voldemort tries to kill Harry and Snape via Nagini, and then Merope’s locket horcrux choking Harry, with Voldemort as Cain, and Harry and Snape as Abel.

The snake struck as he raised his wand: The force of the bite to his forearm sent the wand spinning up toward the ceiling; [...] He could not get enough breath into his lungs to call back: Then a heavy smooth mass smashed him to the floor and he felt it slide over him, powerful, muscular — “No!” he gasped, pinned to the floor. “Yes,” whispered the voice. “Yesss... hold you... hold you...” “Accio... Accio Wand...” But nothing happened and he needed his hands to try to force the snake from him as it coiled itself around his torso, squeezing the air from him, pressing the Horcrux hard into his chest (DH) “[…] The snake bit you too, but I’ve cleaned the wound and put some dittany on it...” He pulled the sweaty T-shirt he was wearing away from himself and looked down. There was a scarlet oval over his heart where the locket had burned him. He could also see the half-healed puncture marks to his forearm. (DH) Then something closed tight around his neck. He thought of water weeds, though nothing had brushed him as he dived, and raised his empty hand to free himself. It was not weed: The chain of the Horcrux had tightened and was slowly constricting his windpipe [...] Thrashing, suffocating, he scrabbled at the strangling chain, his frozen fingers unable to loosen it (DH)

And Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand. It did nothing to Snape, who for a split second seemed to think he had been reprieved: But then Voldemort’s intention became clear. The snake’s cage was rolling through the air, and before Snape could do anything more than yell, it had encased him, head and shoulders, and Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue. “Kill.” There was a terrible scream. Harry saw Snape’s face losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake’s fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor. (DH)

In general there are quite a few similar scenes involving choking and strangulation - i.e. Marvolo attempting to kill Merope by choking her, Vernon strangling Harry in OoTP, etc. It also evokes a dementor’s/Death’s hands wrapping around someone.

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2.6 And so they went on, until they came to a lonely place, where there were no sheep; then Abel said to Cain, “Behold, my brother, we are weary of walking, for we see none of the trees, nor of the fruits, nor of the verdure, nor of the sheep, nor any one of the things of which you told me. Where are those sheep of yours that you told me to bless?” Then Cain said to him, “Come on, and presently you will see many beautiful things, but go before me, until I come up to you.” And Abel was walking in his innocence, without guile, not believing his brother would kill him. Then Cain, when he came up to him, comforted him with his talk, walking a little behind him. Then he hastened and smote him with the staff, blow upon blow, until he was stunned.

This refers to the scene of Voldemort's vanquishment, with Lily as Cain and Voldemort as Abel. Because the text reveals Lily, far from being solely the Virgin Mary, is also Cain in several ways, and reveals that Lily killed Voldemort intentionally (more on this in future metas).

This is Voldemort walking in his innocence, without guile, not believing Lily would kill him:

He could hear her screaming from the upper floor, trapped, but as long as she was sensible, she, at least, had nothing to fear... He climbed the steps, listening with faint amusement to her attempts to barricade herself in... She had no wand upon her either... How stupid they were, and how trusting, thinking that their safety lay in friends, that weapons could be discarded even for moments (DH)

Then Lily comforted Voldemort with her talk when she pretended to plead and begged him for mercy and to take her life instead. Then Lily smote him blow upon blow, until he was stunned:

“I miscalculated, my friends, I admit it. My curse was deflected by the woman’s foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah… pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it.” (GOF)

The phrase “blow upon blow” is alluded to in the wording used for Ariana’s murder by Dumbledore:

“Though Ariana had been in poor health for a long time, the blow, coming so soon after the loss of their mother, had a profound effect on both of her brothers.” “You see, I never knew which of us, in that last, horrific fight, had actually cast the curse that killed my sister. You may call me cowardly: You would be right. Harry, I dreaded beyond all things the knowledge that it had been I who brought about her death, not merely through my arrogance and stupidity, but that I actually struck the blow that snuffed out her life.” (DH)

And now note that in the next quote, Dumbledore doesn't say that Lily "died to save" Harry - he instead uses active phrasing, and very similar to the phrasing he uses for Ariana’s death, again establishing both Lily and Dumbledore as Cain - Lily striking the death blow on her “brother” Voldemort, as Dumbledore fears he did with Ariana:

“Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort’s soul was blasted apart from the whole, and latched itself onto the only living soul left in that collapsing building.” (DH)

I'll further expand on the significance of “walking a little behind him" in a future meta, but to explain some here, the phrase is weaved in PS with the Mirror of Erised, setting up Lily as the true killer of her "brother" Voldemort and Dumbledore as killer of his "sister" Ariana:

He looked in the mirror again. A woman standing right behind his reflection was smiling at him and waving. He reached out a hand and felt the air behind him [...] (PS) He looked behind him. Sitting on one of the desks by the wall was none other than Albus Dumbledore. Harry must have walked straight past him, so desperate to get to the mirror he hadn’t noticed him. (PS)

The reason Lily is right behind Harry, presenting Lily as Cain to Harry, is referring to Lily’s guilt at that fact, similar to Harry's guilt at getting Sirius killed, etc - because it was Lily’s choice that deflected the Killing Curse, Lily who fulfilled the prophecy and landed Harry in these circumstances. More on this in section 2.10.

Lily's arms are emphasized because they're Death's arms closing around Voldemort from behind - hence "walking a little behind him":

he felt arms enclose him from behind, thin, fleshless arms cold as death, and his feet left the ground as they lifted him and began to carry him, slowly and surely, back to the water, and he knew there would be no release, that he would be drowned (HBP) now little lights were popping inside his head, and he was going to drown, there was nothing left, nothing he could do, and the arms that closed around his chest were surely Death’s... (DH) [...] and there she stood, the child in her arms. At the sight of him, she dropped her son into the crib behind her and threw her arms wide, as if this would help, as if in shielding him from sight she hoped to be chosen instead... (DH) His job was to walk calmly into Death’s welcoming arms. [...] the end would be clean, and the job that ought to have been done in Godric’s Hollow would be finished: Neither would live, neither could survive. (DH)

The phrases “Come on”, “until I come up to you”, “when he came up to him” may be alluded to in the repetition here, and also that the Killing Curse’s deflection happens on the upper floor of the house.

“I have been waiting for you to appear since we arrived here. I knew you’d come. I have many questions for you, Harry Potter.” (COS) "Time’s nearly up. Potter’s had his hour. He’s not coming.” “And he was sure he’d come! He won’t be happy.” (DH) “I thought he would come,” said Voldemort in his high, clear voice, his eyes on the leaping flames. “I expected him to come.” (DH) “The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban; we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters!" (GOF) “Now it was just Father and I, alone in the house. And then... [...] My master came for me.” (GOF) “Your mother’s coming…” he said quietly. “She wants to see you… it will be all right… hold on…” And she came… first her head, then her body… a young woman with long hair, the smoky, shadowy form of Lily Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand (GOF)

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2.7 At that time Eve told Adam, “My lord, Adam, in my sleep I saw that the blood of my son Abel was pouring into the mouth of Cain his brother, and he drank it without mercy. And Abel beseeched him to leave him (a little) of his blood, and he did not agree to hearken to him but he drank it completely … and it could not at all be removed from his body.”

This corresponds to Voldemort taking Harry’s blood inside him - however it also refers to Lily, Voldemort taking a bit of Harry and Lily inside him, both not able to be removed from his body:

“I wanted Harry Potter’s blood. I wanted the blood of the one who had stripped me of power thirteen years ago... for the lingering protection his mother once gave him would then reside in my veins too...” (GOF) “He took my blood,” said Harry. “Precisely!” said Dumbledore. “He took your blood and rebuilt his living body with it! Your blood in his veins, Harry, Lily’s protection inside both of you! He tethered you to life while he lives!” [...] “He took your blood believing it would strengthen him. He took into his body a tiny part of the enchantment your mother laid upon you when she died for you. His body keeps her sacrifice alive, and while that enchantment survives, so do you and so does Voldemort’s one last hope for himself.” (DH)

This could also refer to the horcrux inside Harry, a piece of Voldemort that can't be removed from his body, and also the description of Ginny here, and how that ties into the way Voldemort's parasitic to his followers/"family":

"Voldemort put a bit of himself in me?" Harry said, thunderstruck. (COS) "So Ginny poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted... I grew stronger and stronger on a diet of her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. I grew powerful, more powerful than little Miss Weasley. Powerful enough to start feeding Miss Weasley a few of my secrets, to start pouring a little of my soul into her..." (CoS)

Note the repetition of the word "pouring" ("the blood of Abel was pouring into the mouth of Cain", "poured out her soul", "pouring a little of my soul into her"), and how words like "diet" and "feeding" evoke the idea that Voldemort’s drinking Ginny's soul like drinking blood, and likewise she’s made to drink his - tying into the Dracula parallel mentioned in this post.

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2.8 Cain was brought punishment very soon afterwards. On the same day he killed his brother, Abel, his foot was tied up to his thighbone and his face was forcibly directed up to the sun disk. His face used to go where the sun goes as a way of punishment and penalty in return for what he had done to his own brother.

On the same day when Voldemort killed Harry in the Final Battle and Harry was once more resurrected, Voldemort's "foot being tied up to this thighbone" likely means that Voldemort finally dies, his feet are no longer leaving the ground and landing lightly, he's no longer flying from death. And as he dies, his face is "forcibly directed up to the sun":

A red-gold glow burst suddenly across the enchanted sky above them as an edge of dazzling sun appeared over the sill of the nearest window. The light hit both of their faces at the same time, so that Voldemort’s was suddenly a flaming blur. Harry heard the high voice shriek as he too yelled his best hope to the heavens, pointing Draco’s wand: “Avada Kedavra!” “Expelliarmus!” [...] Harry saw Voldemort’s green jet meet his own spell, saw the Elder Wand fly high, dark against the sunrise, spinning across the enchanted ceiling [...] The fierce new sun dazzled the windows as they thundered toward him, and the first to reach him were Ron and Hermione, and it was their arms that were wrapped around him, their incomprehensible shouts that deafened him (DH)

This is also an allusion to Voldemort as a vampire (the Dracula influence is obvious), melting in the sun.

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2.9 However, Abel's saying when Cain threatened to kill him: {If you do stretch your hand against me to kill me, I shall never stretch my hand against you to kill you

This corresponds to Voldemort using Avada Kedavra while Harry only uses Expelliarmus and also Harry walking to his death, never stretching his hand against Voldemort to kill him.

It also ties to Lily not directly fighting back while Voldemort kills her with his wand, and the fight between Aberforth and Dumbledore:

Aberforth shouted that it was all Albus’s fault that Ariana was dead and then punched him in the face. According to Bathilda, Albus did not even defend himself, and that’s odd enough in itself, Albus could have destroyed Aberforth in a duel with both hands tied behind his back. (DH) when at last he flung himself across Voldemort’s path, and did not raise a wand to defend himself, the end would be clean (DH)

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2.10 What were they arguing about? They said, “Let’s divide up the world. One took the land and the other [took] the movable goods. This one said, “The land you are standing upon is mine.” This one said, “What you are wearing is mine.” This one said “Strip” [so you are not wearing my clothes]! and this one said “Fly” [so you are not on my land]! As a consequence, “Cain rose up against Abel…”

They both took lands and they both took movable goods. What were they arguing about? One said “the Temple will be built in my territory” and this one said “in my territory…”

“You know,” said Sirius loudly [...] “I think I’d prefer it if you didn’t give orders here, Snape. It’s my house, you see.” (OOTP) “This is my house, Bella, you don’t give orders in my —” (DH) “Stand aside, you silly girl... stand aside, now.” (DH)

Voldemort is giving Lily orders in her house, on her land, in her territory - and she doesn't obey (And, well, since James died first, Lily inherited all his stuff, so I guess it was truly her land).

Both the Godric’s Hollow house and the blood wards on Privet Drive are also Lily saying to Voldemort, this land you’re trying to stand upon is mine, Voldemort can’t enter without her express permission:

And his scream was Harry’s scream, his pain was Harry’s pain… that it could happen here, where it had happened before… here, within sight of that house where he had come so close to knowing what it was to die... to die… The pain was so terrible… ripped from his body And then he broke: He was nothing, nothing but pain and terror, and he must hide himself, not here in the rubble of the ruined house, where the child was trapped and screaming, but far away (DH)

The same applies to the graveyard scene in GoF, where Priori Incantatem first makes both Harry and Voldemort fly away from where they’re standing after Voldemort points to his father’s grave and mentions Lily, alluding to Lily’s grave (which comes full circle in the graveyard scene in DH):

“You stand, Harry Potter, upon the remains of my late father,” he hissed softly. “A Muggle and a fool... very like your dear mother. But they both had their uses, did they not? Your mother died to defend you as a child... and I killed my father, and see how useful he has proved himself, in death...” And then — nothing could have prepared Harry for this — he felt his feet lift from the ground. He and Voldemort were both being raised into the air, their wands still connected by that thread of shimmering golden light. They glided away from the tombstone of Voldemort’s father and then came to rest on a patch of ground that was clear and free of graves (GOF)

That’s Lily telling her "brother" Voldemort, you mentioned my death, therefore this land you’re standing upon is mine, and Fly [so you’re not on my land!].

You could say the territory Voldemort as “brother and sister” are fighting over is Harry - Voldemort says "Mine!", and immediately Lily's magic comes to save Harry and says no, he's mine:

Barely gripping the plummeting bike with his knees, Harry heard Voldemort scream, “Mine!” It was over: He could not see or hear where Voldemort was; he glimpsed another Death Eater swooping out of the way and heard, “Avada —” As the pain from Harry’s scar forced his eyes shut, his wand acted of its own accord. He felt it drag his hand around like some great magnet, saw a spurt of golden fire through his half-closed eyelids, heard a crack and a scream of fury. The remaining Death Eater yelled; Voldemort screamed, “No!” (DH)

While Voldemort tries to claim Harry as his, Lily is claiming Harry as hers; while Voldemort marked Harry as his equal, Lily marked Harry as her equal:

"Love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign [...] It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good" (PS)

But there’s another meaning to this - that Lily also inadvertently marked Harry as Cain, because it was Lily’s choice that forged the connection between Harry and Voldemort, and therefore Lily’s choice that resulted in all the pain Harry’s going through, Lily’s sacrifice being what is truly responsible for that scar on Harry’s forehead, and Lily's subsequent guilt the way Dumbledore feels guilt about Ariana etc.

"What you are wearing is mine" and "So you are not wearing my clothes" refers to Death's Invisibility Cloak - which represents the aegis and Lily and Harry framed as the two “true owners” (see my meta “When Lily Cast Her Life As A Shield": Analysis of the Shield Charm for elaboration). Those lines are weaved into this highly significant passage:

“One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin...” (OoTP)

This joke actually has an important hidden meaning relating to Lily, but more on that in future metas.

"This one said 'Fly'" also refers to Lily, Voldemort, and Snape's ability to fly unsupported, as well as Harry's Quidditch skill and him being Voldemort's "twin brother" Flight From Death #2.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Read Part 2 of this meta

See also: this post

[abyssalzones]

C-PTSD as a diagnosis makes so much sense for Ford because he really does fit almost all of the criteria, ESPECIALLY if you take the stuff in J3 into account in conjunction with his traumatic childhood (bullying, bad dad, etc.). It just makes sense in regards to his motivations and his issues with interpersonal relationships (like with Stan). Also buring yourself in your work (like he does) is a very common 'flight' coping mechanism to trauma in adults

I'm smiling like this right now

ford's whole.... mental health deal is extremely interesting to examine because Oh my god this man is the textbook image for "reacting to ongoing, continuous trauma". intentional or otherwise (I'm inclined to believe it's both).

like. okay hang on I'm about to get very in depth with it

I feel like there's no way this entire guy's life and in some ways his lasting identity haven't been defined by and constructed around various forms of trauma, maybe the most obvious and true-to-canon-intent being peer abuse/bullying from childhood. a lot of people downplay the impact of this type of abuse but it's... responsible for a lot of social ills in shocking ways. (if you're more interested in this topic here is an article my friend mer linked me a while back, it gets into it very deeply)

(a lot of this is going to be sourced from the wikipedia page for CPTSD [and my own experience Living with it] which I realize isn't very professional of me but Whatever this is tumblr)

one of the core tenets of ford's personality is that he's Different. he owns it, sure- his six fingers become a point of pride rather than something to be ashamed of- but they make it extremely clear that from a young age he associated being different with being a social pariah. ford's generation was characterized by notoriously cruel bullying, and anything that remotely made you stand out rendered you a target. ford could've been bullied for being nerdy and jewish (and failing to perform socially, ie dating) alone, having such an obvious mutation definitely was not winning him any points.

so it's honestly no surprise, when from childhood ford feels like he has One person in the world to trust and confide in, that he would go on to form very unhealthy attachment patterns typical of CPTSD. as you elaborated on regarding AvPD (which I know far less about but seems to have comorbidity with CPTSD): if you're hard-wired to believe socializing with others results in failure or betrayal, then you're not going to make an effort. but what does end up happening is that you're going to pour all of your trust and dependency into one person at a time, one person who is "safe".

previously, that was his brother. and it's not really hard to draw the conclusion from there that fiddleford was a subject of ford's attachment style, considering he was his One friend from college, and... one of Maybe two people ford is friends with at all who he isn't related to. he cites him as the only person he can possibly trust to work on the portal project alongside him, and he still can't bring himself to tell him the full truth, because he's terrified of losing him. I love their dynamic (I do think they were mutual best friends, and there was no small amount of trust reciprocated between them. "fiddleford was weird as hell too" is something I keep coming back to) and I don't think it's built on entirely unhealthy terms, but that kind of pressure is... setting things up to crash and burn.

enter bill stage left. back to "continuous yearning to be liked and accepted"- this guy knew that and made every effort to prey on ford's insecurities to reel him in as close as possible. this is what really pisses me off about the idea that bill was just "inflating ford's ego", because it's way, way more insidious than that. throughout the entirety of journal 3 we see ford reintroduce someone to his life he has a very positive relationship with (fiddleford) and how that trust gets gradually broken down by bill's influence "winning out" over their friendship. I think it's safe to say ford was already vulnerable: from the start, he'd been isolated in his research for six years (and it's unclear for how long he'd known bill by 1982), and bill proved time and time again to be someone who wouldn't judge him, someone who would praise him for his hard work, and perhaps most critically, make him feel like being different was something special.

like that's... that's really not good!!!! and that kind of thing works wonders on someone who has already settled with the idea that they're inclined to be alone just by design.

trying to put a cap on this. in relationships like the one he's had with his brother or fiddleford it doesn't even necessarily have to be ""toxic"" (vague term anyway) or outwardly bad to be built on unhealthy attachment patterns, and considering for a good chunk of ford's life his attachment to others can be characterized as "I can only trust ONE person at a time" it feels essential to any discussion of his CPTSD or canon trust issues. That is something that happens a lot in Real cases of CPTSD (hi) and only further snowballs into More trauma by leaving you vulnerable to manipulation and abuse (see: bill.)

I've been going on for way too long now and I feel like I've only scratched the surface of the thing I wanted to elaborate on sorry. that post traumatic stress disorder can complex

[francesderwent]

ask game

fortnight: what’s your new aesthetic?

tortured poets department: who do you declare should be a bigger artist?

my boy only breaks his favorite toys: if you were a toy what kind would you be?

down bad: public place you’ve cried at?

so long london: something you loved about a place you used to live?

but daddy I love him: how do you take unsolicited advice?

fresh out the slammer: once you leave a stressful situation, what is your go-to way to wind down?

florida!!!: if you had to go on the run and start your life over what would your name be? (bonus: what are you on the run for)

guilty as sin?: a recurring daydream?

who’s afraid of little old me?: be honest: are you scary?

I can fix him (no really i can): one fictional character you, personally, could fix and one you couldn’t?

loml: two unrelated things that are inextricably linked together in your brain?

I can do it with a broken heart: can you hide what you’re feeling or can people tell?

the smallest man who ever lived: what mystery (personal or otherwise) would you most like to receive a declassified file explaining?

the alchemy: something you love that you come back to over and over?

clara bow: do people say you look like anyone?

the black dog: a song intertwined in the fabric of your dreaming?

imgonnagetyouback: can you tell when somebody wants you/likes you/is flirting with you?

the albatross: a past experience you’re passionate about sharing with people going through it now, ie something you can say “I’ve been there too” about?

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: pick a current significant other/close friend and a former significant other/close friend. would the current one have bullied the former one in school?

how did it end?: you announce “come one, come all, it’s happening again”—what’s “it”?

so high school: complete this sentence: “you know how to ball, I know ____”

I hate it here: one thing about the contemporary era you hate?

thank you aimee: a bad experience that you’re grateful for?

I look in people’s windows: when you run into someone you used to know are you generally pleased or alarmed?

the prophecy: when you want something, do you: beg, lose hope, stay cool, howl at the moon, say please, or have faith?

cassandra: mythical figure you relate to?

peter: a way your grown-up years are different than how you thought they’d be?

the bolter: have you had any near death experiences?

robin: a happy secret you’ve kept?

the manuscript: would you ever publish a memoir, let someone read your diary, etc?

send me a song title (or two!)

[bright-and-burning]

i was pretty sure in-competition vs out-of-competition drug testing had different rules from following track and field doping scandals. and i was right! and then i accidentally dug a little too deep into doping regulations so. here's some fun info on anti-doping & motorsports (& how allowed doing drugs is) below the cut (you could perhaps call this a ~primer~ if you wanted)

i'm going off of the FIA's anti-doping regulations (appendix a to the international sporting code, this is from 2017 but it gets the gist across (and doesn't require a download). i checked it against the 2021 version and nothing i referenced changed significantly; click on the "appendix a" link here to download the 2021 version) and the world anti-doping code international standard prohibited list (link is to the 2024 list but i don't think things have changed very much over the years).

the appendix was only added to the international sporting code in 2010, so i can't speak to anything before then.

the FIA link is 69 pages long and also not an easy read BUT from what i can tell their testing works the same as any other international sport's (so if you're looking for a simpler read on the general process than the FIA's code, check out this wiki page on biological passports and the world anti-doping agency (WADA)'s pretty simple anti-doping process page here).

substances

the important part (to me, at least) is article 4: prohibited list and international standards. this is the bit that says what drugs you can and can't do.

it essentially boils down to "the WADA list applies. and also a few other things."

the few others things here are specifically alcohol and beta-blockers. alcohol for drunk driving reasons, beta-blockers because they lower heart rates and reduce tremors (they're banned in many sports that require high accuracy, like motorsports but also archery and golf).

the WADA list is broken down into two main parts: substances & methods prohibited at all times, and substances & methods prohibited in-competition

substances prohibited at all times

these are things like anabolic agents, peptide hormones, growth factors, beta-2 agonists, hormone and metabolic modulators, and diuretics and masking agents (you can explore more in depth here if you're interested).

basically, what i typically think of when i think of doping. the stereotype of bodybuilders taking steroids, you know. not the fun stuff.

substances prohibited in-competition

these are probably what people are more interested in hearing about (especially fic writers). these are stimulants, narcotics, cannabinoids, and glucocorticoids. i will admit to never having heard of glucocorticoids by that name before this (they are steroids used to treat asthma, inflammation, allergies, etc).

these include things like cocaine, adderall and other stimulants commonly used to treat adhd, ecstasy, weed, heroin, oxycodone, and so on.

once again see here for more info; if you're looking for something specific, go to the index and use what page it points you to as a guide. ecstasy, for example, is not listed by name as ecstasy on page 14 (stimulants prohibited in-competition but not out of competition), but if you look in the index, the ecstasy listing points you towards page 14 (where it's referred to by its 'chemical' name), marking it as a stimulant only prohibited in-competition. you might have to google your drug of choice to find other names for it.

in-competition, by the way, is defined as "the period commencing just before midnight (at 11:59 p.m.) on the day before a competition in which the Athlete is scheduled to participate until the end of the competition and the sample collection process." ie 11:59pm the night before right up to after you pee in the cup. assuming competition includes free practice, this period would be wednesday at 11:59pm to sunday after the race.

obviously you can get a therapeutic use exemption, where your doctor says "yeah they need this banned substance for this reason." it's more complicated than that, and there's a lot of paperwork and different agencies' approval involved, but that's the gist of it. this is, for example, how simone biles is allowed to take adhd medication despite those being prohibited in-competition.

the testing method itself isn't explicitly identified in the 2021 code, but it mentions blood and urine testing as options in a footnote. the 2017 code treats urine testing as the automatic option (and lays out the specifics of how that should occur quite explicitly), and blood testing as an alternative or optional addition.

different drugs stay in your system for different lengths of time. cocaine can show up on saliva & blood tests for up to two days, and on urine tests for up to three. weed's urine testing window can be as long as 30 days (depending on frequency of use). and so on. so risk levels vary!

sanctions stuff

you can get hit with sanctions for tampering with tests, evading tests, etc, but i'm gonna talk about specifically sanctions for testing positive because i feel like that's more interesting and relevant than going into sanctions for missing tests three times in twelve months (but if you are interested, read through the FIA's code).

they make special note of what they call "specified substances." these are substances that are "more like to have been consumed or used by an athlete for a purpose other than the enhancement of sport performance" aka fun drugs as opposed to performance enhancers. pretty much all of the in-competition banned ones are specified substances. notable exception here is cocaine. cocaine (and some other stimulants) are not specified substances. you can see which specific substances are specified here.

the definition of "specified substances" above is pretty much just used for sanctions reasons. it kind of helps determine who the burden of proof falls on.

nitty gritty sanctions stuff

the rest of this post gets into the nitty gritty of sanctions (feel free to skip this bit). motorsports has so few violations at the top level (like, to the point where anti-doping lab people are quoted as being genuinely amazed by how clean everyone is) that this kind of thing hasn't really played out (or at least, not since the FIA started working with WADA. or as far as i know). this is different from just about every other sport i've Ever paid any kind of attention to.

this part would honestly make a really solid flowchart. it makes for a pretty rough primer. it is so confusing, but hopefully i make it even a tiny bit more clear than the FIA's code.

there's quite a few cases here, and they're all kind of complicated:

if the violation involved a specified substance, the FIA has to prove it was intentional use to hit the violator with a four year "period of ineligibility," which i will refer to as a ban throughout for ease.

if the violation does not involve a specified substance, the athlete has to prove it wasn't an intentional use to avoid a four year ban.

the two cases above are what i see as the general cases. if a violation doesn't fall under any of the below cases, then it falls back into those. they're the "if not anything else, then these."

a violation for a substance only prohibited in-competition can be ruled not intentional if it is a specified substance and the athlete can prove that it was used out-of-competition, or if it is not a specified substance and the athlete can prove it was used out-of-competition in a context unrelated to performance.

aka (this is an extremely handwavey and flippant example for demonstration purposes only) if they test positive for ecstasy (specified substance), but they can prove they used it at the club for a good time, then it's not intentional. if they test positive for cocaine (not a specified substance), but they can prove they used it at the club and specifically for fun not for performance, then it's not intentional.

if intent isn't there, and none of the other options i go into below apply, you get a two year ban (as far as i can figure it out).

intentional use is specifically "meant to identify those athletes who cheat," basically doing it knowing it was a rule violation/carried a risk of being a rule violation and disregarding the risk (paraphrased from the FIA).

if the violation involves a substance of abuse as specified by WADA here, and the driver can establish that the use occurred out-of-competition and wasn't related to performance, then they get a three month ban. furthermore, if the driver completes an FIA-approved substance of abuse treatment program, then that ban will be reduced to one month.

if the violation involves a substance of abuse and it occurred in-competition, but the driver can prove it wasn't related to performance, then the violation'll be considered not intentional, and is therefore (as far as i can tell) subject to a two year ban.

if the driver can prove they bear no fault or negligence (literally Zero), then whatever ban they would've gotten will go away. this is REALLY hard though; the document states that it "will only apply in exceptional circumstances, for example, where a Driver could prove that, despite all due care, he or she was sabotaged by a competitor."

Conversely, it says that this no fault case wouldn't apply if: a) they consumed a mislabeled/contaminated vitamin or supplement (drivers are responsible for what they ingest), b) their personal trainer/physician gave it to them without explaining what it was (drivers are responsible for their choice of medical personnel), c) sabotage of their food or drink "by a spouse, coach or other person within the driver’s circle of associates (drivers are responsible for what they ingest and for the conduct of those persons to whom they entrust access to their food and drink)." In these scenarios, however, they could potentially use the no significant fault or negligence cases outlined directly below.

if the violation involves a specified substance (but not a substance of abuse), and the driver can prove no significant fault or negligence, then the consequences will be somewhere between a reprimand and a two year ban depending on how at fault they are.

if they can prove both no significant fault/negligence AND that the detected substance came from a contaminated product, then the consequences will be between somewhere between a reprimand and a two year ban depending on how at fault they are. (as an aside, i'm pretty sure this is the out that shelby houlihan tried to use when she tested positive for an anabolic steroid and blamed it on a pork burrito from a food truck).

to be able to use this out, the driver has to prove separately that a) the substance came from the contaminated product and b) they aren't significantly at fault.

these are, as far as i can tell, all of the potential violation cases the FIA's code has articles for. they align with other sports' regulatory bodies' rules, in my (limited) experience.

i hope this was at least a little interesting and informative! (it certainly was for me). thanks for reading :)

several disclaimers here: i make NO promises abt this being perfectly accurate bc it IS me interpreting the FIA's code. and this is nowhere near my area of expertise (i am not a doctor or a lawyer or anything else relevant to this. i am just a nerd with adhd and a whole lot of time). but i did my best ! and i think it's a solid stone's throw at accurate.

and also to be clear if they do coke in fic on thursday night or whatever for the plot or the vibes im still here for it. this is not me requiring pitch-perfect accuracy on doping violations in fic (and all of this info will probably drain out of my brain by saturday); it's (hopefully) a resource!

[tourettesdog]

DPxDC Dog Prompts

Here’s my collection of DPxDC prompts I’ve made, collected together! 

Most of them lean towards Gotham/Batpham content, since that is where my own interests with the crossover are most prominent.

A lot of these prompts have had continuations and fics added in the notes! If you like one, I’d recommend checking to see if anyone’s done more with it.

I might reorganize these some other time, perhaps by length/type of prompt, etc, but for now it’s just roughly in order of when they were posted.

If any links are broken, tell me and I’ll see about finding the link!

Adopting a ghost (just a ghost, right?)

Oops yeah Vlad’s sus

We forgot the clone detail

Let’s try that summon again

Please let me help you’re gross

An electric core

You summoned me so I’m your problem

Halfa (not that he noticed)

Dani and Haly’s Circus

Batman’s a ghost, right?

An anchor to the Zone

Accidentally raising Batman’s son

Stuck in Gotham, losing even more

John Constantine’s accidental trip

A sick trail

Too spooky no thanks

Blood Blossoms across Gotham

Trying to sneeze a way home

Accidental twin(?) acquisition

My dog now

 Old friends, unfortunate connections

Dinner interrupted

That dog’s green for another reason

Summoning a guardian instead

Danny isn’t what he expected

An uncomfortable heir

Apex predator Gotham

A girlfriend with a haunting past

Cleansing music

The forgotten queen

At the center of it all

Plans sidelined for a few ghosts

Amity stuck in the past

A dynasty built on ghosts

A haunting joke

A little to the left

Walker hates jokes

Vampiric wards?

Jack and Janet Drake go for a dig

Swapping ghosts for folks

Trapped for too long

Jason Todd: a bad anniversary

Taking care of a severed soulmate

Tim Drake has a portal accident

Disabled Dani

Technus hacks for a good cause

Freakshow picks up a stray Jay

Trying to save yourself without knowing it

Beast Boy’s a little bit spooky

The Fenton and Drake feud

A ghostly Batman

Johnny and Kitty from Gotham

Wtf just happened to the Earth?

Hood and the Holiday Truce

A Little Baby Man infestation

Jason, silent since the grave

A tomb like a cocoon

Deaged: there the whole time

Red Hood, ghostly beneath the helmet

When vigilantes ruin your disappearing act

Ghostly soul marks

Summonings and sharing exes

The call of a ghostly stone

An ill-advised cat burglary

Clockwork might not have been the best choice

Val moves to Gotham

Summoned in his stead

Damian gets to pick for once

A concerning return to AO3

The side effects of cleansing a core

Killed and saved by a joke

Red Hood gets souped

Gotham wants Jason back in his grave

A friendly ghost Robin goes missing

Wes needs to learn to shutup

Corrupted vs pure ectoplasm: FIGHT

Demon twins: an unfortunate “corpse” discovery

Demon twins: menace of Gotham

Ivy and Harley in Amity

Occult shop in Gotham

John gets pawned

Demon twins: Sam in the know (derogatory)

Crown too big for he gotdamn head

Little Baby Man after king fight

[the-depths-au]

FAQ

*this post continues heavy totk spoilers

How did it start?

A lot of people started posting some really cool art of a TotK ending where Zelda returns as a hybrid dragon creature thing. I saw a few that called it a “bad” ending and I noticed she was often portrayed with dominantly human-features just like, with horns or a tail, or the purple eyes, etc. I love to play video games(clearly) and I enjoy the challenge of seeing various endings, not just “secret endings” (think Heavy Rain, Until Dawn, The Witcher 3, Drakengard- anyone else play this?) I got to thinking about how her coming back didn’t really like a true “bad ending”. To me, a bad ending, really, would be one in which she didn’t get to magically, miraculously come back in any form. A bad ending to me would be Mineru’s warning held true. And in doing so, it would become The Legend of Zelda because she becomes the stuff of myths. Of true Legend. Fulfilling destiny (botw-era and the series as a whole). My brain sort of took off from there regarding the implications this would have on Hyrule and specially, our boy Link.

How could you! A Bad ending? Is this story at least hurt and eventual comfort??? Does it have a happy ending??

I could tag this hurt and comfort, but usually people who read these types of stories have certain expectations of what “comfort” is (and that’s okay!). Same with a “happy” ending. I don’t need stories to be wrap up in a bow with warmth to enjoy them. Honestly, some of the stories that have touched me the most over the years have had “sad” endings/negative character arcs/tragedy. That being said, I don’t particularly enjoy pure whump, either. What I feel is most important and what I am to do with this story, is to make any suffering meaningful. With purpose. And hopefully- maybe- you’ll see the “comfort” that is possible even in these types of stories.

Wait! So Zelda remains a dragon?

Yes. They defeat the demon dragon. Rauru and Sonia appear in a silent thanks, then they disappear and Link falls from the sky alone into the water. The Light Dragon continues along in her flight above him.

Link is also the only one who can see/has ever seen the Light Dragon.

Are there any other major changes from TotK?

It follows the game pretty closely. It’s just hard to say exactly what is in this story from TotK because there is just so much. In BotW, I headcanon Link took his time. He doesn’t remember anything. He is alone, lost, and the world is a vast, broken place. Therefore, it is plausible/ realistic in my head for all the side questions to be done prior to the ending being reached. In TotK, especially with the headcanon he and Zelda were together in the time between BotW and TotK, I had a hard time imagining Link would waste much time on anything unnecessary to save Zelda. So, with this in mind, I’ve had to justify the side questions to include in the story. Link’s journey is a bit different than my own. Whereas I actually spent 80% of my playthrough exploring the depths, this Link only went down when necessary. Meaning many of the lightroots have not been unlocked and he only has part of the armor of the depths. In the Linktober and the early concept, he has the entire set but this has been changed for the main comic.

How far after the events of TotK does this take place?

Five years.

Is it completely planned out?

Yes. I have a complete rough story outline done. It’s 17 chapters. I am anticipating some editing as I go, but regardless, it’s a big project. A huge shout out to @zeldaelmo and @fioreofthemarch for helping me get the story set. They are both phenomenal writers for the LoZ fandom so be sure to check them out!

What happened to the comic?

I made the decision to tell this story (initially) in writing. I have a very specific style in mind for this story as a full comic and honestly, I just don't feel like my artistic ability and overall proficiency is where I want it to be at this time. I'm still learning! I will be continuing to post art, concept art, and some comic panels here as I go and eventually, I would love to adapt the story into a full comic, but for now, I'll be telling the main story in writing.

How long have you been drawing?

I’ve been drawing all my life. Just for fun, although I took a few classes in school. Digitally, self-taught, since fall 2022. Still very new to this with lots to learn! I have a minor in creative writing and feel much more confident and comfortable with that.

Feel free to send me a DM with questions anytime! I plan to update this periodically.

Last updated 2/26/24

[chaosteddybear]

6 Song Soundtrack Mixtape

Thanks so much for the tag! (spyri and sphinx both tagged me and I tagged you both in the Hexx one soooooo I won't spam you AGAIN).

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following: 1. An event that defines your character's past 2. How your character sees themselves 3. How others view them 4. Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic) 5. A major fight scene 6. End credits song

Mix: my OC across various games and AUs and worlds <3

1. An event that defines your character's past Nobody's Home

Her feelings she hides Her dreams she can't find

And I couldn't help her I just watched her make The same mistakes again What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems Don't know where she belongs Where she belongs She wants to go home But nobody's home That's where she lies Broken inside With no place to go No place to go To dry her eyes Broken inside [...] And now you can't find What you left behind Be strong, be strong now Too many, too many problems Don't know where she belongs [...]

So, the event I chose for this is coming home after a trip to a house full of nothing but death. This triggers the start of his Rambling Era, as I call it, where this song explains his consuming thoughts. Including telling himself to be strong, hide his feelings, squash his dreams, etc.

2. How your character sees themselves: Whatever It Takes

Whip, whip Run me like a racehorse Hold me like a ripcord Break me down and build me up […] Whatever it takes 'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins I do whatever it takes […] I wanna be invisible Looking at my years like a martyrdom Everybody needs to be a part of 'em Never be enough, I'm the prodigal son I was born to run, I was born for this 'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains […] I'm just a product of the system of catastrophe And yet a masterpiece, and yet I'm half diseased And when I am deceased At least I'll go down to the grave and die happily

This song captures the exact balance that Mix walks between being obsessed with himself while also putting himself down. He believes he can do anything, and he can certainly withstand anything.

3. How others view them Bullet with Butterfly Wings

The world is a vampire, sent to drain Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames And what do I get, for my pain? Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game [...]

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal But can you fake it, for just one more show? [...]

Tell me I'm the only one Tell me there's no other one [...] And I still believe that I cannot be saved

This song captures his resentment towards the people who took over the town he's from. He's also my rage boy (definitely an animal walking the line between wild and tame), and those who don't pay attention to anything else would absolutely just see this. They also may not realize that he's not in it for what he gets, and he doesn't think he needs to be saved (and if he did would he deserve it?). But hey, he is certainly obvious (when in love) about wanting to feel special. Is he obvious enough though?

5. A major fight scene: Satan Is My Motor

I've got wheels of polished steel I've got tires that grab the road I've got seats that selflessly hold my friends And a trunk that can carry the heaviest of loads I've got a mind that can steer me to your house And a heart that can bring you red flowers My intentions are good and earnest and true But under my hood is internal combustion power

Mix is so not okay. He sees himself as a tool, focusing on his usefulness to the important people in his life, specifically what he must do for them.

So this is what plays in his head as he picks off enemies. He spends his time aiming and shooting calmly as he reflects and focuses on his use and how much he loves his friends. He likes to be calm and focused while he enacts his duty.

He will get them all before any figure out where he is. So it's not a super hype song. Though, I do have an alt hype song for his more rambunctious fight scenes: Bark at the Moon.

6. End credits song: Why Would You Be Loved

It's a lie, the high that you have with love It feels like gold when you hold it [...] I wouldn't say it, but I blame them The bleedin' hearts, the arts and that other stuff All the same motivations will melt away Like snowflakes on a tongue, baby [...] I wouldn't say it, but I blame them [...] Why would you play it all on somethin' as hollow as trust? (Hey) What if you gave it all to find that it wasn't enough? (Hey) What if, under the gaze of all, you come short when the going gets rough? [...] They look for somethin' to be done for those that are most in pain What about me and my achin'? The scales rehung, the breakin' of yoke and chain What about me and my breakin'? And if you ain't for all, how could you try it all, baby? So why, why, why?

This one might seem against who he is, which is why it fits the credits, I think. These are conversations he has with himself. Is he right to be so naive, or is it a waste of time? Is he neglecting himself by constantly looking for love where his own isn't matched? He ultimately chooses to keep hope every single time. He has a strong will that way. But not out of naivete.

I tag: @loveless-nameless-graceless-two @seynne @bite-the-bloody-hand , and you dear Reader!

[ladyazurith]

About Me

I very much enjoy discussing, theorizing, and dissecting Twisted Wonderland characters and the lore around them. So if you want to talk to me about them I am more than happy too.

I will say my favorite characters are Cater, Vil, Riddle, Azul, and Floyd

The next tier would be Idia, Jade, Leona, Rook, Lilia, Jamil, Silver, and Malleus.

I feel mostly indifferent to the first years, I don't dislike them so much as they don't interest me as much as some of the others, Ruggie and Kalim also fall into this category.

Of the staff, Crewel is my absolute favorite, and I otherwise like to bully the crowman.

Shipping wise, my top ships are:

Vil/Cater is definitely my number one, I can't even lie, my Ao3 account tells the truth.

Floyd/Riddle is a close second, they're a comfort ship for me, and remind me of me and my husband (I would be Riddle in this dynamic)

Then followed by Idia/Azul, Leo/Mal, Kalim/Silver, Rook/Trey, and some form of Jack/Deuce/Epel, either them as separate couples or poly. I can't really choose which one I like best.

Ships that I do not like/will not write/talk about much unless it's why I don't think they would work are: Kalim/Jamil, Leo/Vil, Trey/Cater

Also no student/teacher or really any adult/minor ships, incest ships, or ones with a huge power imbalance.

Platonically, I love Vil & Rook's relationship. And really just Pomefiore as a family.

Also Cater & Idia, Cater & Malleus, Cater & Riddle, Cater & Rook, Cater & Jamil, Leona & Cater, and Lilia & Cater

Azul & Riddle is also one I love. (Riddle & Ace is also fun)

Silver & Sebek

Personally, I identify a lot with Cater and Riddle for various reasons. That I won't get into here, not because I'm not willing to talk about it, but because it would be an entire large post of its own.

I mostly interact with the fandom through fanfiction. I have written way too many stories to list them all here but some highlights are:

Enchanted: Lilia adopts Cater as a child and raises him in Briar Valley.

The Broken Mirrors series: Overblot victims travel through broken mirrors to an alternate reality. So far our victims are Azul, Vil, Riddle, and Malleus. Though I intend to write one about each victim by the end of it.

The Queen's Court: Cater interns with the Queen of Briar Valley teaching her about the internet and social media. Ends up getting adopted.

True Colors: Crewel takes Vil and Cater to fashion week during the end of their 2nd year, where they end up bonding once Vil coaxes the real Cater out from behind his mask.

Otherwise, a link directly to my Author page can be found here: Azurith I have over a 100 twist fics I've written. And have no real intention of stopping anytime soon.

I also have made (5) music videos so far:

Under Your Scars- Vil/Cater

Stand Out- Cater Diamond (LMC inspired)

All Eyes On Me- Vil's Overblot

Killer Queen- Vil & Riddle

Once Upon A December- Lilia & Silver

The Violence - Twisted Wonderland in general

I'll probably make more eventually but it's definitely a "when the mood strikes me" kind of thing.

Overall, don't be afraid to chat, like I said I'm usually happy to discuss just about anything Twist related, and do plan on posting my various HCs for my favorite characters, etc.

So far that's been:

Vil/Cater relationship HC's

Vil HC's

Rook Thoughts and HC's

Lilia & Cater's Friendship

Cater Diamond Analysis

I will add to this list as it grows! Thank you.

[mixelation]

FAQs

Housekeeping post! Last updated 29 June 2024.

General:

Who is Tori?

My OC! Check out her masterpost.

Do you have a tags masterpost?

I'm working on it. :)

How do I refer to you?

I've been telling people to call me Mixel, but some people call me Mix. I use she/they.

Can you tag something for me?

I am not good at remembering to tag things. In general, if you following a blog requires certain things to be tagged, I wouldn't recommend following this blog.

You didn't answer my ask!

I don't answer even close to every ask I get. It's nothing personal! Sometimes I don't have time or energy, sometimes I just don't have opinions on the thing, and sometimes I mean to answer later and then forget and then it gets buried. Sometimes this happens even if I've specifically asked for people to send me stuff via an ask meme. Sometimes I don't answer even when I really want to for various reasons.

Do you want a recommendation?

Please don't send me recommendations unless I have specifically asked for them.

Can I DM you?

I don't like getting DMs from people I don't know. Please don't DM me unless we've talked before (via comments, asks, etc -- anon does NOT count). If you have a question you don't want answered publicly, you can send me an ask and request it be answered privately.

Also: please do not send me posts with zero context. I cannot read your mind and I don't like not knowing what you expect me to do with the post (reblog it, talk to you about, etc). Yes, even if you think the context is obvious. You do not need many words to contextualize a post.

Do you have a DNI?

No, but relevant to being a fandom blog: I am a bonafide adult, and my view on shipping and other fandom activities is basically "I have no right to judge what fictional scenarios other people enjoy or want to explore." If either of those things make you uncomfortable, go ahead and block me.

Can I repost your content to another website? I'll credit you!

For fics, absolutely not. Do not repost any of my creative story writing, fanfic or original fic.

For generic tumblr posts, I am wary of giving permission to repost any sort of content on another site. I can’t stop you reposting screen caps of my posts, and I’m not going to hunt them down or (publicly) complain about screen caps of my post on other sites. But if you come to me actually asking for permission.... the answer is no.

Fandom and fics:

I came here to find the Plasticity AUs and what I found confuses and frightens me.

Not to worry! I made a masterpost.

Why did you change your user name?

Here's a post about it. Most relevant notes form that post: 1. Don't refer to me by my old user name, even on other sites. 2. If you find an old tumblr link that's broken, you can replace my old user name with "mixelation" and it will work again!

Can I do ______ with your fic?

I have a permissions statement on my AO3 profile. I try to keep this up-to-date as my feelings on how my work is used evolves.

Can I tag you/send you a post that reminds me of your fics?

Yes, but please explain that's what you're doing. Please don't send me context-less posts. I cannot read your mind through the internet.

I might retract permission for this if I start getting a ton, just for my own sanity. But so far it's been fine.

How do I send you fan art?

Most people have been sending them by asks, but you can also post them to your own blog and @ me, or else comment on the fic itself or send me a link via tumblr asks. Give me a few days to interact before following up.

When are you going to update _____? Is _____ abandoned?

I have a busy life and what fic I work on in my free time is controlled by the whims of my brain. There's no schedule and I am unlikely to be able to give you an estimate. I will tag a fic as abandoned on AO3 if I decide there's no way it will ever get updated. For some fics for which I get this a lot:

Homemade Dynamite - I actually have about 95% of chapter 13 written. Chapter 12, however, is only like half written and I have a pretty big block on it. :(

Fun and Games - I do hope to continue this one, and I have a decent chunk of the next chapter written, plus notes + an outline for the rest of the fic. Unfortunately, to keep writing it, I have to do a decent amount of research on HP canon, and certain recent events have really soured by motivation to interact with that canon.

I found a fic I think you would like!

Please see my answer about recommendations. Don't send them unless I've asked, no matter how good you think it is.

[likegemstone]

OMG OMG OMG Y'ALL an update on the Patreon Deactivated My Account Without Warning saga, one that makes the whole thing simultaneously more hilarious and more infuriating

For those who don't know: I write a serialized novel called Her Broken Magic which I post online for free on tapas and royal road, and I had a Patreon where patrons could read it early access and see exclusive content, but a few weeks ago my account got deactivated for violating Patreon's guidelines. I had not previously received any kind of warning or anything like that, they just nuked my whole account.

I sent them an email asking if they could tell me which post(s) violated their guidelines and exactly what about the post(s) was against the guidelines. I honestly didn't expect them to respond and was surprised when they did. But.

The response had a link to the "public post" that they said violated their guidelines, but uh. My account had been deactivated so the link took me to a page that just said "this account had been removed" which cleared nothing up lmao.

In that same email, they said this (I'm going to put this under a cut simply because of the language it uses, terms referring to SA):

Valid, right? If I had written something glorifying those things, it would make total sense that Patreon wouldn't want to have that on their site. But I of course would never do that, certainly not intentionally. HBM does include themes surrounding these topics, mention and discussion of them, imagery referring to these topics, etc. Never in explicit or glorifying ways. The vast majority of the time it's just implied with no details given at all, and the story always condemns this kind of behavior.

So I was initially upset because I thought either someone misinterpreted the intention of the story, or more likely ("more likely" because I doubted anyone at Patreon actually took the time to read a long-ass story on an account that had all of one patron) they just wanted to take down any content including these topics at all even if it didn't actually "glorify" those topics.

But then I reread the email and noticed something about the quotations they included referring to what got the account deactivated. "Coerced sexual content" and "Sexual manipulation". I realized something.

Take a look at the list of content warnings that I put for Episode 5, scene 14:

See the second and third from the bottom? That's the exact quotations they used—not just the same terms, but the exact capitalizations I used.

And that's when I realized that, most likely, no one had actually read the story. A bot probably flagged those terms, and then my account was deactivated. Not for the content of the story—but because of the content warnings that I put on the story. If I hadn't bothered to put any warnings, it probably wouldn't have gotten flagged, and I'd still have a Patreon account. It was also confusing because the email said it was a "public post" but that scene hadn't even gone live for the early access yet, much less gone public, but I just kinda moved past that.

Now, since all that happened like a week and a half ago I have been annoyed but honestly not surprised, and I've just been thinking about other ways I could possibly monetize HBM. I accepted it and moved on.

But this Friday (the 17th of May) Episode Five scene 14 will be going up on Tapas and Royal Road, and I was thinking I might just un-schedule that scene since it's the one that got my Patreon deactivated. If even just the content warnings got me kicked off Patreon, sharing the actual scene might do the same on the other sites—and that's when I realized.

I don't put the content warnings on the scenes, I put a full list of content warnings for that episode as its own post, and on scenes that have sensitive or potentially upsetting content, I put a reminder to check the post with the content warnings before reading it. So. The post that they took the quotations in that email from, the post that got my account deactivated. wasn't the story at all

It was the post that just had the content warnings on it. The content warnings and the pronunciation guide.

I don't bother to make that post exclusive to patrons, so it was a "public post." I would have realized this earlier except that link they sent me took me to a Nothing page. This company with a shitty logo for a face and bots for hands nuked my whole account not for violating their guidelines by "glorifying" sexual manipulation and coerced sexual content, but for saying the words "sexual manipulation" and "coerced sexual content."

I can't even be a patron for other people on that site anymore because of this.

Is that not just. hilarious in the worst way.

[iamgodsoopsie]

Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 3:

Part 1 link

Part 2 link

More Astarion headcanons that are mostly me projecting onto a fictional character to help me process my own trauma!

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & SH (suicidal ideation) Trigger Warnings: More descriptive and potentially triggering than part 1, but about equal to part 2.

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or wish.com Cazador.

Have things been going well for awhile? Is he reclaiming his sexuality at an exponential rate? Does he think he's practically conquered his trauma?

-> If you said 'Yes' to any of the questions above, then be ready for: A trigger he didn't know he had hitting him out of no where and setting his mental health on fire.

->-> If he's at a place in his healing journey that he is able to recognize what happening and use his healthy coping tools/ honest communication to process his unexpected emotional (maybe literal) flashback then it'll be a not fun time for him, but he'll get through it fairly quickly with minimal mental damage.

->->-> If this happens closer to the beginning of his healing journey then be ready for him to spiral and catastrophize. He'll insist that he'll never truly be free of Cazador, that he's broken, that he isn't allowed to be happy, etc. All you can really do during this time is be there for him. Reassure him that you love him and that you believe that he will get better.

->↑ This is a normal part of the healing process, it's shitty and God-awful- but it gets easier to manage and happens less frequently over time.

Even if he weren't an immortal vampire he's still a high-elf and will probably outlive you. And boy oh boy the pressure he's going to put himself under to hurry up and heal is going to be immense AND counterproductive!

-> Poor bby is terrified that he'll finally be happy only for it to be ripped away from him.

->-> Him rushing his healing will only make it harder for him to heal, and he knows this. But Gods damn it all he can't seem to shake the feeling that he's running out of time (okay Hamilton).

->->-> I gotta be honest, I have no fucking clue how to help him with this. I suppose that the only thing you can do is love him with the time ya'll have.

->->->-> TBH I can see him deciding that he'll KHS when you die. I know you have the best intentions, but asking him to live for you after your gone will (probably) be perceived as very manipulative.

->↑ I honestly don't think ya'll are going to come to an agreement on this if you're vehemently against the notion. It may be best to make your preference known and then leave the topic alone- as pressing it will only cause him to double down. (After 200 years of not being allowed to make any decisions for himself, he's not going to let anyone tell him how to 'live' or die).

Surviving "200 years of shit, PURE. SHIT!" had to have been exhausting. And healing from trauma is exhausting. All Astarion wants to do is rest but he feels that he can't truly rest until he heals from his trauma and he's so damn tired and has to keep dealing with this shit and he really wants to give up somedays but he'll be damned if he lets Cazador 'win'.

->↑ Healing is hard work. But it is so damn worth it.

I'll go back and edit any grammar and spelling mistakes later, but I'd really like to post this now.

[thegratefulsouth]

Alright I have just finished Season 1 of TWD DD and I have thoughts and questions and feelings. And energy!

I am very new to this fandom, and while I've done some searches in places, I'll still just apologise in advance for being repetitive and missing stuff. I will miss stuff every time.

I'll get Laurent out of the way, and even though it's all connected for me, the rest is Caryl.

#1 So Laurent. I have questions about his ability to see into the future. He was convinced Daryl would survive the Gladiator battle, he knew they'd all end up back together. Is this a real thing? Is it coincidence in faith? The drawing I don't care about, I'm not sure how involved he is with the manipulations, but he should definitely be able to feel that this is happening with Isabelle, given his empathic nature. So in that case, does he sense there is a reason to go along with her ways, for a future purpose we don't know about yet.

The empathic thing:

Episode 1, he says to Daryl "You're homesick. I see it in your eyes. I feel things. In my stomach. I feel your sadness." Episode 5, he tells Madame Genet that she isn't angry; her heart is broken.

He can distinguish sadness between heartbreak and homesickness- these are very specific feelings. Are there more examples? Not sure when I'll be able to watch it back. Is this significant? Is there a point to this? Is he going to make the match? Is he going to be overwhelmed by Carol's grief and guilt, though hopefully she'll just be happy and relieved when he meets her (hopefully!!).

"Daryl why don't you just kiss Carol like she wants you to?"

What are the rules around this? I don't know how it works.

#2 Second up! The boats. Is there any evidence that any of the boats have any significance? I know they probably just make sense with the location and the storyline, etc. But when Laurent cuts the boat loose, Daryl is losing his most immediate TANGIBLE lifeline to Carol and that is because a BOAT has drifted. A boat.

Okay, and also, I was thinking about this on my long drive to work this morning and I swear to the husks of dust on my Jim Shore Dorothy and Glinda figurine, Spotify threw THIS song I've never heard before at me. Yes, PIRATE song. Pirate song by mehro. But dear god the lyrics.

"Are you ready to let me in?"

"I've been trying to believe what I said is what I need."

This is such a haunting, beautiful song. I'm so thrilled to discover this artist. I'm not immune to dissolving into a puddle on the side of the road when I hear a new song that spins me out. I feel things so intensely. I'm going to do a post just for this song. This song is Caryl to me.

#3 Daryl's longing for Carol in a ramble:

I like the connection between Daryl saying "I have family back home," and Carol in the teaser clip saying Daryl is the only family she has left. It feels like a string, tying them together. Feels like they're on the same damn boat. Emotionally.

I just want to touch on the name dropping Who Are Your Friends scene with Laurent. Even though I have no idea whether this scene is supposed to have any significance or if it's just supposed to be a simple moment of connection for these two. Regardless, it is significant. Every second beyond about a week just is. So to touch on Laurent again, I'm just wondering is it possible that Daryl's a little guarded here, because he knows the kid's intuitive? Does he feel like he needs to be more careful with his emotions? He's already elevated. But he says Connie's name really easily. It's easy for him to say her name and I think that says a lot. He's trying to connect with the kid, so of course Judith and RJ pop up. Daryl got himself started, and there's a very slight gap, while he's thinking before he offers up Ezekiel. That's where he should say Rosita but she's gone, or Aaron (but too much missage? Their bond), Michonne's not there! Oh, Ezekiel! They were starting to get along? They had a hug and everything? I don't know. I like the link between Connie and Ezekiel though. Anyway Daryl has to say Carol because she is his heartbeat, so he manages to get that out and then he stops. No more names.

Laurent says they sound nice and is Daryl's response a little defensive? Even though Laurent's just a kid, he's a little intense. Daryl says, "Yeah, how do you know?"

I think that's interesting. Like he's shared as much as he's comfortable sharing and then he wants to bundle his family back up again. It's painful to talk about Carol because he misses her and he promised her and she cried when he left and she is his soulmate. She's a little too precious and valuable to be spoken about by someone who hasn't even met her.

Alrighty now I need to go find some gifs for that song post.