#that boy’s lookin pretty serious

[waltricia]

*sigh*

Oh, Pen. I hope you’re paying attention.

[rubiehart]

jj is the type to beg you for head, just on his knees absolutely pleading for you to suck his dick

xoxo- 🦢

oh my goshhh.. can i expand by saying this is him when he takes E at a kegger and he’s just uncontrollable.. swan nonnie ily

you and john b had to practically drag jj back to the chateau, he’d taken something he clearly couldn’t handle and he was uncontrollable to say the least, random bursts of energy as john b wrestled him through the door, ignoring his protests to stop being a ‘party pooper’, the door rattling in its frame as jj knocked in with his shoulder, erupting into another fit of uncontrollable laughter as you and john b shared an irritated look. “get inside bro, you have got to sober up.”

you’d managed to pin him to the bed of the guest room, john b excusing himself when he saw jj was getting antsy, he’d had enough and decided you could handle him on your own. “john b get back here now.” you’d mutter sternly, as he just shrugged with a smirk, shutting the door to the bedroom and you heard the soft click of his bedroom door across the hall locking, letting out a defeated huff as jj cracks up at nothing in particular.

“what the fuck did you take?” you say, rubbing at your forehead frustratedly as jj places his hands behind his head, blinking rapidly at the ceiling and sighing. “tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.” you look down at him in shock as he laughs. “oh my god..” you sigh, getting off of him, releasing he’s literally hard as a rock underneath you as he groans out.

“please do somethin’..” he pleas, reaching out for you as you sigh. “i’ve never been this fuckin’ hard in my life.. i dunno what i took but i cant do this shit..when you’re standin’ there lookin’ like that-” he rambles.

“you’re gonna shut up if i do?” you ask with a sigh and his eyes widen, wondering if you were being serious. “are you kiddin’, or…?” he questions, smirking a little. you shake your head, crawling up to him on the bed and working on his zipper, you hear him breathing heavily and look up at him with a cocked brow. “what? you never had a blowie before?” you ask with a chuckle, working his cargo shorts down his thighs.

“not from a smoke show like you.” he smirks, pulling his waistband down to release his cock and your breath catches in your throat. he was a fucking monster, rock hard and practically pulsing with the intensity, pretty pink tip leaking precum down his shaft, you look up at his face again to catch him tonguing at a fresh cut on his lip, clearly enjoying himself, a little too confident, you thought.

“you’re such a dick.” you mumble, working his shaft with two hands as he throws his head back against the stack of pillows. “hm?” he half moans out through clenched teeth. “please.. put it in your mouth.” he groans out and you feel yourself clench, your panties getting wetter by the second. “needy boy.” you joke, swirling your tongue around his tip. the small touch is like fireworks in his nervous system as he moans like a little bitch at the little kitten licks you were giving him. this was gonna be fun.

[lovebugism]

hi!! shy!reader with eddie and love confession???

ty for requesting xoxo — eddie tells you he (doesn't) have a crush on you at a party (shy!fem!r, friends to lovers, 0.8k)

The local freak is greeted with thunderous applause.

Eddie’s late, fashionably so. His hair is wild, his eyes are smudged black, and his smile is lopsided. He makes the rounds across the dimly lit living room, acknowledging just about everyone he sees, and gets handed a drink along the way.

You feel strangely honored when he decides to settle next to you.

He plops down on the couch beside you — where you’ve been alone for some minutes now — with enough vigor to jostle the cushions below you. He doesn’t bother to leave anything more than an inch of space between your thighs. He throws his arm over the back of the couch and flashes a crooked pink smile your way.

“Hi,” Eddie greets, all cool as he sips from the plastic cup in his ringed hand.

Your face burns with his attention. You duck your gaze to your lap and fight back a too-big smile. “Hi.”

“How’s it going?”

“Fine,” you hum, peering sweetly beneath your lashes. “You?”

“Awful,” he quips. Then he beams. “Until now, anyway. ‘Cause I missed you.”

His words set your skin ablaze — you think you’d burn him if he touched you just now. Your chest swirls with the billowing flames. You couldn’t hide your giddy smile if you tried. “Missed you, too, Eds.”

The boy huffs. He rolls his eyes, hardly serious, as he says, “I bet you say that to all the boys.”

You shoot him a half-hearted glare, too pretty to be threatening. “There are no other boys, Eddie,” you murmur, visibly shy because he knows that. It’s why he’s smiling so damn big. 

“Good,” he hums with a lazy grin, letting the tension between you linger for a moment. He brings the cup to his mouth for another taste of bitter alcohol. It shines on his rosy lips before he licks it away. After a second or so of silence, he confesses, “‘Cause I kinda like having you all to myself.”

A weird ache settles behind your ribcage. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” you murmur with an averted gaze, anxious hands fidgeting with the solo cup you hold between them. It’s a joke — mostly — but it comes out more serious than you mean it to.

Eddie scoffs. “There are no other girls. You’re the only person in Indiana willing to give a freak a chance, turns out.”

“Is that why you’re sitting here?” you squint, still impossibly sheepish. “Because I’m the only one who’ll give you a chance?”

“I’m sitting here ‘cause you’re the only person in Hawkins I can stand for more than five minutes,” he answers without missing a beat. Then he tilts his cheek to his shoulder and smirks. “So you having a big, fat crush on me was just fate.”

Feeling seen and half-embarrassed, you turn away. “I don’t have a crush on you.”

“Oh. Right,” Eddie says with a slow, sarcastic nod. “The same way, I don’t have a crush on you either, right?”

And it’s so like the both of you — to confess something so deep by not confessing at all.

His grin widens when you roll your eyes. He knocks his leather-clad shoulder against yours but doesn’t try to move away. Still leaning against you, he continues. “Then it might also make you feel better to know that I haven’t been in love with you since tenth grade, either.”

You peek at him, just barely. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “And, you know what? I actually want other girls lookin’ at me.”

“Do you?” you hum and face him fully. 

With your chin to your shoulder, Eddie’s much closer than you thought he’d be. Your noses are mere inches apart. You can smell the whiskey-mint-nicotine concoction on his breath. The proximity makes your head swim.

“‘Cause I don’t see you at all,” he jokes with a dramatic inflection, obviously teasing.

The rest of the world is invisible when I’m with you, he’d say if he weren’t such a coward. It could be falling apart right now, and I wouldn’t even know it.

“Not even a little bit?” you press, lips quirked in a shy smile.

He shakes his head. The wild strands of his hair tickle your jaw. “Not at all,” he answers and prays you understand him in his sarcasm.

You purse your glossed lips to the side of your mouth and turn away from him again. Your cheeks feel on fire as you duck your gaze to the hardly-sipped cup in your lap. “Well, that sucks,” you quip after a few moments of silence. “I thought we had something going here.”

The boy scoffs. He drops his arm from the back of the couch to wrap more fully around your shoulders. The musky scent of his cologne swaddles you the same way his touch does.

“Oh, c’mon,” he croons with a lazy smile. “You know you can’t deny our chemistry.”

Your eyes narrow at him. “Didn’t you fail chemistry?”

His lips jut in a soft pout. “I don’t see how that’s—”

“Twice?”

You bite back a grin when he glares playfully at you — the roles now sufficiently reversed.

“Stop being mean. I’m already in love with you,” he grouses with a feigned pout scrunching his flushed features. “Now you’re just rubbing it in.”

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

Aftercare

masterlist

note: this tiktok fully inspired this one-shot

warnings: oral (f!receiving), eddie cums in his pants..

word count: 1.1 k

♡ summary: Eddie believes the best type of aftercare is food

♡ Eddie Munson x girlfriend!reader

request ✗

Back against the soft sheets of her boyfriend’s bed, hands tangled in the blankets, and her heels digging into the boy’s bare back, Eddie had his head between her thighs, kneeling on the ground with Y/n’s ass half of the bed, truly enjoying himself. Sometimes when he ate her out it seemed as though it was more for his pleasure than hers, due to the fact that he would be down there for hours without being asked.

Wayne had the night shift, thankfully (Y/n didn’t want what happened last time they had sex in the trailer to happen again), so the couple didn’t have to worry of someone hearing the obscene noises falling from the girl’s lips from her previous two orgasms. 

Eddie’s hands left her thighs that he had been holding over his shoulders to now hold her ass to pull her pussy even closer to his face. She didn’t think it possible to get closer than they already were but here they were. He kneaded the flesh he held, he loved groping her, he loved the fact that he was allowed to, that she let him and she liked it.

“OH- fuck Eds!” She yelped at the change, his tongue going from flat across her pussy to apply direct attention on her clit, with the perfect pressure and motions that got her closer to the edge. She felt her next orgasm build, tingling heat spreading throughout her body.

“Mmm, sweets, you taste so good, baby… Never get tired of your taste.” His words were muffled by his face pressed against her, his mouth going lower to her hole but his nose kept a good amount of stimulation on her clit. And the vibrations of his words sent shock waves within her, pushing her over the edge.

“Ed- Ed-ohhh! Fuck! ‘M comin-ahhh!” The words not coming out in full from the powerfulness of the orgasm, the third tonight. 

“Go ahead, let go, baby, give me all of it.” Having the go ahead, Y/n’s back contracted on the bed, eyes shut tight as she completely let go. The pleasure is all consuming, her head empty, and her body hot. Eddie never stopped, wanting her to fully ride out her high. And when she finally came down from the high, it took Y/n to push his head away from the overstimulation for him to stop.

His face from his nose to his chin covered in her cum, he leaned back sitting his weight on his calves as he caught his breath and looked at the sight in front of him. His eyes trailed up her body from her pussy dripping cum and spit to her fucked out face. 

“God, you’re so fucking pretty.” He muttered, just loud enough for her to hear over the fan in the room.

Their eyes met and Eddie broke out into his wide smile like always, moving up on his knees to give his girl a kiss. His hands went to their spot on her hips and hers wrapped around his neck and pulled him faster into her, she was far too tired to lift her body for the kiss.

When he pulled away his head was only a couple inches from hers, “I love you so fucking much.” “I love you so fucking much too.” They said to each other with big grins on their faces, Eddie then pecked his girl’s lips before standing to walk out of the room. But got stopped by the tired girl.

“Wait, babe, what about you?” She assumed, as most would, that she would return the favour. Her body was now held up by her hands behind her, after she pulled down her shirt that was pushed up in the heat of the moment by Eddie.

The boy in question simply turned around and pointed down at his soft cock in his jeans, which now had a considerable wet spot on them. She hadn’t noticed the humping motions of his hips against the bed.

“Are you serious?” It was said with a smile on her face, and a light heartedness in the air, which had probably come from being friends before their relationship. 

“Sweets, I could come from lookin at ya.” He joked, turning back down the hallway towards the bathroom. A couple minutes later he came back now in sweatpants and a ‘Judas Priest’ shirt on and holding a wet towel.

Silently Eddie sat down on the floor in front of the girl, now both in their same positions as before, but the actions were much more gentle now. He softly wiped off his pussy, going extra gentle after Y/n let out a small whine from the stimulation. He grabbed her a pair of his boxers from the top drawer of his dresser and shirt for her. 

He lifted each foot to help her step into the boxers, she could do it herself but one time Eddie got really upset and pouted when she got dressed alone so now she just let him do it for her, when he got those on her turned to the shirt slipping that on when she lifted her arms. 

Finally being able to fully rest again, Y/n falls back against the bed, limbs limp. Eddie laid himself down on the bed next to her, cuddling his girlfriend. He rested his head above hers, pressing forehead kisses since he knew she loved them and he just wanted to kiss her.

“Do you want to get ice cream?” The boy mumbled against her head. Turning her head to look at him she asks, “Really? Right now?” “Why not right now?” “Maybe because I can’t walk.” She replied, Eddie loved her sassy replies, “Drive thru.. C’mon it’s late, no one will be in line at McDonalds.” 

After a moment of thinking, she could go for ice cream and she wouldn’t have to get out of the car. “Okay, let's go.” “Yay!!”

The couple was now driving back to the Munson trailer, ice cream in hand as they passed the tall trees on the street. Their peaceful drive listening to music was interrupted by a small laugh from Y/n, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What’re you laughing at?” The brow eyed boy asked glancing sideways briefly to watch the chuckle escape her lips, watching his girl laugh was one of his favourite sites. 

“Just the fact that you were just eating me out for the past hour then you got me ice cream.”

“Yeah. It’s like a reward.” 

His comment enticed more laughter to leave the girl’s mouth, as well as his after he heard her contagious laugh that he loves so much. 

[prismuffin]

The MW2 boys reaction to you calling them pretty boy

w/ Price, Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Alejandro, Rudy

warnings?: swearing, mentions of drinking

*gn reader ( can be read as any gender ! )

!-!more under the cut!-!

John Price:

—You calling him pretty boy would definitely catch him off guard.

—Honestly he thinks it's a dare

—Depending on how well he knows you he might let it slide, unless you're in public or around other members of 141, then he'll reprimand you for it.

—Secretly enjoys it but tries not to show any reaction

"Drinking all by yourself pretty boy?"

John's head snapped in your direction, seeing you leaning against the counter. He was currently at the bar having a drink though your presence completely caught him off guard. He eyed you up and down before taking another sip of his drink, already sensing the headache inducing conversation ahead. "Pretty boy?" He questioned, his body jolting in a silent laugh, though it was more out of disbelief than anything. "Never call me that again Sergeant." "Yes sir."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick:

—Did he hear you right?

—Is honestly super flustered but is very happy with the new nickname, he's still very confused at the suddenness of it though.

—He's super smiley all day afterwards like it's all he can think about. Price had to ask him what was had happened to make him so happy.

Gaz was going through a routine pre-workout stretch in the training room. He had more of a lean build compared to some of his mates and though that doesn't make him any less capable it still made him feel as though he has to keep up sometimes. "Nice arms you got there pretty boy!" He turned his head in your direction, his eyebrows raised as he watched you wink at him before disappearing into the hallway. He beamed, feeling a bit more energized than before. He completed his workout with a confidence boost, nobody could tear Gaz down that day. He knew he was getting questioning looks from Price about his smiley attitude but he didn't care.

Simon "Ghost" Riley:

—He's so confused? Like did you really just say that to him of all people?? The guy wearing the mask all the time???

—Like Price, he thinks it's a dare or a joke you got forced into by Soap or something

—Doesn't know how to take random genuine compliments that have no context so please bare with him

—Might just fully ignore you honestly, especially if its early mornings

Ghost sighed as he walked into the common room. Soap and Gaz were talking about something in the corner of the room while Price seemed to be sat reviewing some files, you standing over his shoulder. You noticed him first, your eyes catching his as he stood in the doorway. You nodded your head at him, "Morning pretty boy." He blinked at you, seeing if you were serious. It wasn't something he had expected to leave your mouth and he didn't know how to react, he was thankful for his mask at times like these. Noticing your greeting, Price had turned and nodded to him as well before the both of you went back to looking at the files. He mumbled a "Fuckin' 'ell" as he walked deeper into the room. He just hoped that nickname wouldn't stick.

John "Soap" MacTavish:

—He easily accepts the new nickname with a smirk

—Two can play that game 'cause he'll definitely flirt back a little to be honest

—You're just adding fuel to his ego ya know

—Like Gaz he's just a big ole happy boy after you call him pretty boy

Soap was with Ghost in the locker room on base. He was chatting with Ghost, though it was more like he was talking while Ghost was listening, only giving input when he felt necessary. You'd walked in when Soap had just taken off his tactical vest, leaving him in nothing but a tight black shirt. A whistle cut through the air, catching the attention of both men. "Looking good pretty boy." Soap's expression morphed from confusion to that of an amused one. A smirk rested on his lips as he crossed his arms. "Not lookin' too bad yourself there la' " He winked before hearing Ghost groan about how you two were being gross.

Alejandro Vargas:

—It catches him off guard much like Price but he quickly gets over his shock

—Like Soap he's more than likely to flirt back with you

—Finds it funny, especially if it comes from nowhere

—Will tease you to hide his own flustered state

You were currently occupying yourself by cleaning off one of your favorite submachine guns. It was then that Alejandro had walked in with Rodolfo. They were both coated in sweat after a morning run which Rudy had immediately left to wash off. You would have joined them both had you not been minorly injured on one of the recent expeditions. You weren't complaining though, you got to rest all day and take in sights like this. A smirk found its way onto your face as your eyes scanned over Alejandro's form. "Welcome back pretty boy." Alejandro shook his head, a smile resting on his face. "Ten cuidado amigo/a, falling for me can be dangerous." (Be careful, friend)

Rodolfo Parra:

—He's flattered to say the least, he definitely wasn't expecting it but he's not mad at all

—Like Gaz and Soap he's very smiley afterwards

—You made his day with such a simple compliment and he secretly hopes the nickname will stick cause it makes his heart flutter.

Rodolfo was currently training some new recruits for Los Vaqueros, yelling semi-threatening words of encouragement as he watched them run the track. The yelling along with the heat had made him a bit lightheaded though he fought against the feeling. He jolted when a hand clapped his back, turning to see your face greeting him with a smile. "You doing alright pretty boy?" If you asked Rudy later he'd definitely blame the blush rising in his cheeks on the heat. "S-Sí, I'm ok." You tilted your head, unhooking your hip flask from your belt. You held it out to him "Cuídate Rudy." (Take care of yourself) He nodded, grabbing the flask from your hand and taking a big sip before handing it back to you. "Gracias." "De nada."

----!----

( first time writing for COD men I hope it turned out ok !! )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

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Masterlist

[forever-rogue]

OMG TASM INSPO OKAY OKAY!

I saw this prompt a while ago that said: one small kiss before fully devouring the other person and I thought it would be perfect for pining idiots Peter and r. Maybe they dare them to kiss at a party or they get tipsy enough to be very affectionate which leads to the kiss. But then one of them is like shit I ruined our friendship and ghosts the other until they talk and get back together and kiss again 🥰

AN | If there is one thing I love it’s blind fools in love! Enjoy ❤️

Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 4.5k

Masterlist | Main | Peter

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

He was so pretty like this.

Wild, unruly hair, plush lips, pink cheeks and eyes like rich honey. 

“What’re you lookin’ at, huh?” he reached over and brushed a lock of your behind your ear, so close that you could smell the sweet alcohol that lingered on his lips. Your heart skipped a few beats at the tender touch; it was nothing new but every one of his touches felt like the first time. He rested his palm against your cheek as you swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re being weird.”

“Nuh uh,” you narrowed your eyes at him but your weak attempt at being serious did nothing for him. Instead he laughed, a sugary sweet sound you wanted to bottle up and keep as yours and yours only forever, “you’re being weird, Pete.”

“Whatever you say,” his long, lithe fingers ghosted along your jaw before he retracted his touch. You missed the warmth of his skin on yours almost immediately, “I think you’re drunk.”

“Shut up,” you groaned and finished the last bit of the hard cider in your bottle. You were so far from drunk, having nursed the same bottle over the last hour and a half just as he had with his beer. Neither of you were even tipsy, just enough to feel a slight buzz in your bones, let alone drunk, “‘m not. Just tired of you.”

“That’s a lie,” he whispered as you nodded meekly. You could never lie to him, or even fool him in the slightest. He’d been your best friend for almost a decade; he knew you better than anyone ever had.

“It’s a lie,” you confirmed, shifting your gaze away from him. You looked around the room, trying to focus on literally anyone else at the party. Unfortunately, no one else seemed to capture your attention - at least not as much as Peter Parker did. You could feel his gaze trained on you, and part of you was worried for a moment that he was almost able to hear every single thought you had running through your mind. You turned back and immediately felt your warm up, “Pete?”

“I want to kiss you,” he whispered, voice so soft that your ears were playing tricks on you. When you saw the quiet and determined expression on his face you could tell that you had actually heard what you thought you’d heard.

“What?” you’d leaned in closer, inadvertently, but found yourself inches away from the pretty boy. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a very Peter-esque smile - that your smile. You wanted to bottle it up and keep it safe in your heart forever. You huffed when he just stared at you like you were magic, “Peter. What did you say?”

“C’mon Bee,” you could hear the subtle groan in his voice, “you heard me. I want to kiss you.”

“Why?” your brows knitted together in confusion; you were so ridiculously cute especially with the way your nose scrunched, “me? Pete, you’re just drunk.”

“Yeah you,” an incredulous huff escaped his lips. How? How did you not know that he was in love with you? Especially since he’d fallen for you days into your friendship so many years ago, “I like you, you know. And I’m not drunk. Not in the slightest.”

“Of course you do,” he was drunk. He had to be despite his insistence that he wasn’t. Right? You swallowed thickly, “you’re my best friend.”

“No, you don’t…” he put a hand on your neck, his thumb brushing along the soft skin under your ear, “I’m going to kiss you, okay?”

“Okay,” your voice was so small it was basically a squeak, but it was enough to set him at ease to actually do what he’d been dreaming of for so long.

Peter closed the small gap between the two of you, pressing his lips to yours - softly at first, questioning and learning. When you didn’t panic or pull away. He deepened the kiss, earning a small moan from you. That sound made electricity shoot throughout his entire body; he wanted more, he wanted it all. All your sounds just for him. 

Before you let it get too far, you pulled back, wrapping your fingers around his wrist and taking his hand away. Peter stopped immediately and looked at your in surprise and… hurt? on his face. You held up your hands, both of them shaking, your mouth opening and closing a few times as you searched for the right words.

“Bee?”

“I-I can’t do this,” you scooted your chair back and stood up, shaking your head, “this was a mistake. I’m sorry, Peter. I gotta go.”

You grabbed your bag and started to push your way through the throng of crowds to leave. Peter had jumped up to his feet and attempted to follow you, “wait - Bee!”

But you didn’t wait. By the time he got to the door, you were already long gone. He sighed heavily, banging his head against the wall as he tried to figure out what he did wrong. But, he figured, he’d give you space tonight and then check on you tomorrow. Surely this was all just…a misunderstanding. 

Surely you felt the same things he did. He’d been wishing for nothing else for so long.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Peter’s hopes that he would be able to talk to you and get to the bottom of what was going on were quickly dashed the next. 

He didn’t hear a peep from you - but it wasn’t for the lack of trying. He texted and called and even showed up at your apartment to no avail. In reality you’d received and read every text, sent every call to voicemail, and ignored his knocking. You just couldn’t face Peter, not today…make not ever. 

You were still trying to put all the pieces of what had happened together. He’d told you that he liked you and that he wanted to kiss you. 

And then he did exactly that. 

But it didn’t make sense. Peter Parker was your best friend, and best friends definitely didn’t kiss like that. He said he wasn’t drunk but there couldn't be any other reason, right? Why else would he suddenly want to kiss you? Part of you was afraid that you’d taken advantage of Peter to get what you wanted. Of course you wanted to kiss him; you’d been in love with him for years. Instead of risking anything, you’d kept yourself thoroughly in the best friend zone. You’d rather pine for him and suppress those feelings and keep him in your life, than potentially risk losing him completely. 

Life without Peter Park wasn’t anything you wanted to experience. 

And in a few moments of inhibition, you might have ruined everything after all. You couldn’t face him ever again. The thought of that alone was enough to make you want to curl up and cry. 

You were being dramatic…you knew you were. You needed something - someone - logical to keep you from spiraling. Grabbing your phone, you quickly found her contact and called her, pacing around as you waited for her to answer.

“MJ,” you let out a sigh of relief when she picked up after a few rings, “I did something bad. Can you come over?”

You heard her sweet laugh on the other side, “of course. I’ll be there in twenty? Shall I bring a bottle of wine?”

“Yes please,” you rubbed at your forehead, “two bottles if you have it.”

“On my way!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Little did you know, MJ was already way ahead of you. She was already well aware of what had happened; Peter had called her, close to tears, about an hour beforehand. He was quick to spill his guts out to her, trying to make sense of everything…and definitely panicking that he’d never see you again.

MJ, meanwhile, was terribly amused at the panic both of you were displaying. She was well aware that the two of you were in love with each other, even if you the two of you weren’t aware. To be fair…everyone was aware but the two of you. It was so obvious to anyone that spent even a moment around you that you were in love. Somehow that just didn’t get through to you - not yet but Mary Jane Watson was determined to finally get you both to realization and clarity. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hi honey,” MJ let herself into your apartment with the key you’d given her long ago. You raised your hand and gave her a small wave from where you were curled up on the couch, buried under a heap of blankets. She set the bottles of wine down on the coffee table before raising an eyebrow at you, “and just what do we call this?”

“It’s calling wallowing,” you huffed, sitting up and looking at her with an upset expression on your face, “I fucked up.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” she insisted softly before going into the kitchen and grabbing a couple of wine glasses and a bottle opener. You made room for her on the couch, and sat down next to you, carefully opening a bottle and pouring a couple of glasses. You picked yours up and clinked it against hers, “cheers. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“Peter,” you took a huge drink before allowing yourself to look at the giant grin on MJ’s face, “it’s Peter.”

“And…what about Peter?” she was prying, gently doing so, but curious to know. If there was someone that knew Peter almost as well as you it was her. She’d dated him for a few years in high school after all, “what did he do? And/or what did you do?”

You sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly just as you’d learned in yoga class. You pinched the bridge of your nose before setting your glass down and angling your body closer to her, “hekissedme.”

“Pardon?” oh, she’d heard you loud and clear and you both knew it.

“Peter kissed me,” you said more slowly, letting the words wash over you as the memories of last night popped, “and I…kissed him back.”

MJ was practically giddy with excitement, barely holding back her smile. She was definitely the president, vice-president, secretary, and treasurer of the ‘you and Peter fanclub.’ She took another sip of her drink before setting the glass down and reached for one of your hands, “and what’s the problem with that? The two of you are clearly in love! It’s about time one of you made a move!”

“What?” you tilted your head to the side and looked at her in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“Oh my god,” she threw her head back with a loud groan, “how are you so smart and dumb at the same time?!”

“MJ-”

“I know how you feel about Peter,” you’d confessed your love and adoration for your best friend many times - tipsy, drunk, and sober. And it wasn’t like either of you did anything to hide it. You huffed and looked at her like a lost little puppy, “and I know how he feels about you. I’m not sure what the problem is…”

“Peter doesn’t….he was drunk.”

“Peter doesn’t get drunk,” she raised her eyebrows in a sort of tell me I’m wrong expression, “but what exactly led to him finally making a move?”

“We were at that party at Beth’s and we were just hanging out and talking. I’d had a few drinks and he did too,” ugh. The way he’d looked at you was like something else, “and later on he told me he wanted to kiss me. I asked him why and he just sort of…made it seem like it was obvious. I asked if he was drunk but he said no and I don’t…fuck, I don’t know.”

“It is obvious, all things aside,” she waved her hand, “but if he says he wasn’t drunk, what’s wrong? Was it bad?”

“No. No,” it was anything but bad. In fact, you were ready to admit that it was easily the best kiss of your life. That made you both nervous and excited, “it was good.”

“But you didn’t want it?”

“I did, I do,” you drained the rest of your glass before pulling your legs up and hugging your knees to your chest, “I liked it and I want to do it again. You know I do. It’s just…what if he thinks its a mistake? What if he hated it and it’s ruined everything. I don’t want to lose him, MJ. He’s too important to me.”

“Honey,” she mirrored your position and her face turned serious, “I mean in the most loving way possible, but you are so incredibly obtuse. Peter is in love with you. You’re in love with Peter. What else could you possibly need to know?”

“I know I love him,” you agreed, “so much. But how can you be so sure?”

“Because he’s told me!” she threw up her hands as your eyes widened in surprise. She put her hands on yours and gave you a little shake, “he’s told me that he’s in love with you. More than once. I’ve just been…the two of you are so damn stupid. You’re so clearly in love with each other but neither of you can just admit and move forward. You’re not going to lose Peter, I swear on that. But sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and move forward. Otherwise nothing is ever to change.”

“MJ-”

“It’s not even that big of a leap,” she whispered gently, “it’s Peter. He’s always going to be there to catch you.”

You swallowed thickly, blinking back the tears stinging at the back of your eyes, “I’m scared, MJ.”

“I know,” she gently brushed her knuckles against your cheek, “and it’s okay to be scared. But this is a sure thing. But, for now, let’s have some more wine and watch a bad movie and order pizza?”

“That sounds perfect,” you agreed sniffling slightly, “thanks MJ.”

You hoped she was right. You hoped that this leap of faith would be worth it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As it turned, your great leap of faith…was a little delayed. As in one thing led to another and your nerves and anxiety got the better of you and you hadn't seen or talked to Peter in two weeks.

It was the longest you'd gone in the decade you'd known him without talking or seeing each other. It sucked. You knew Peter was a huge part of your life but you hadn't realized just how much…until he was gone. 

And it was definitely your own fault. Peter kept trying and trying to get through to you. That part warmed your heart and made things worse at the same time. You almost wished he could let it go but you knew that wasn't his style at all. His persistence and big heart were some of the many things you loved about him. You were going to talk to him at some point…you just needed to work up the courage. Soon hopefully. Soon.

Soon, as it turned out, came on a chilly fall day as you saw at your favorite cafe. You were halfheartedly sipping on a coffee as you worked on your laptop. You had hoped that getting out of the house and the office to work in a different space, one you normally loved, would help to cheer you up but it didn’t work. Not that you had anyone to blame but yourself. 

With an unwittingly heavy sigh, you looked up and stared out the window, watching the rain drizzle down. The city was beautiful this time of year; only this time it didn’t feel as lovely. 

What you didn’t expect, however, was to find Peter Parker stopping mid-walk and looking straight back at you. A tentative little smiled up the corners of his mouth as held up his hand in a small wave; a white flag gesture. You let out a nervous huff of laughter before smiling back at him and holding up your hand in response. 

He stood there for a moment before mouthing something at you, motioning with his to see if you’d come out. This time you didn’t hesitate as you shoved your laptop into your bag and almost ran outside to meet him. You didn’t know where you stood with Peter, but even just seeing him already made your heart feel so much better. 

“Hi,” he sounded almost nervous as you stopped in front of him, neither of you caring that you were getting wet. 

“Hi,” you whispered back, unsure of what to say or do. But this time you couldn’t run away or hide; you had to face up to what was going on, “can we talk?”

“Yeah,” he took your bag from you and hooked it over his shoulder, starting to walk in the direction of his apartment. You fell into step with him, neither of you saying anything, but walking close enough so that the backs of your hands continued to gently brush against each other. The tension hanging in the air between the two of you was palpable but you were afraid to say anything to break the silence. 

Peter didn’t seem to harbor any ill feelings as he continued to open the doors for you. By the time you were inside the apartment, he closed the door and leaned against, watching you closely. You stood there nervously, trying to think of what to say, all the while hoping that Peter would say something instead. 

The two of you looked at each other in silence for what seemed like a small eternity. The next thing you knew, Peter came over to you and took your face gently in his hands, warm doe eyes searching yours. You offered him the tiniest of nods before he leaned in and kissed you. This time, instead of over thinking anything, you allowed yourself to live in the moment. At first Peter was afraid that you didn’t want this and he’d somehow read the signs wrong, but then he felt you loop your arms around his waist and kiss him back. 

And it felt like pure magic. It was everything you could have ever dreamed of and then some more. Kissing Peter felt so…right. Judging by the way he refused to pull away from you until you were both breathless, you were sure that he felt the same. He pressed his forehead against yours and let a small, wistful sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered softly, unable to get your emotions in check from what had just happened. The only thing you knew was that you loved Peter; that was all that mattered, “Pete.”

“Don’t apologize,” he traced his fingers along your jaw and down your neck, causing goosebumps to explode all over your skin, “just talk to me please.”

You nodded, allowing yourself to look into his eyes. There was no malice in them, only…well, you weren’t absolutely sure what it was, but it was…something. There was a hopeful expression on his eyes as you nervously played with your hands. 

“Pete,” he loved the way you said his name; it always made him weak in the knees, “when you kissed me last time, were you drunk? Tipsy? Anything?”

He made a small sound, but shook his head, giving you the answer that you had already known was true, “no.”

“Why did…want to kiss me?” you were adorably; adorably blind. Peter looked at you softly, tilting his head to the side as he tutted. 

“You really don’t get it, do you?” he asked as you bit your lip. He moved towards his bedroom and motioned for you to follow him. When he stepped inside, he went to his dresser and dug around for a few moments before pulling out a big cardboard box. You watched with rapt attention as he took off the lid and poured the contents out on the bed. It was a large pile of photo strips, receipts, notes, and other silly little trinkets, “I have kept every silly note, every set of photobooth pictures, every receipt from anything important or special that we’ve done in the last decade.”

“Oh,” your eyes started to sting with tears as you looked at everything. You reached for a strip of photos - the first ones you’d taken together - and looked them over. It was the two of you, about nine years younger, making silly poses. Except in the last photo; you were making a silly face but Peter wasn’t. He was looking right at you with that same expression he’d always had just for you. Just for you. You looked at him and found him watching you intently, his cheeks tinged with a pretty shade of pink. It was like everything suddenly clicked in your mind, “oh. Peter…”

“It’s been a long time Bee,” his voice was so soft and low, “all this time, I’ve been waiting for you to catch up.”

“You never…” you sifted through the other photos and gathered them all up, looking through them. Fuck, you were an idiot. Every single time there was that look, “you never said anything.”

“No,” he admitted, “I was sure you’d get there eventually, and I’d always be here.”

“But at the party,” you felt even more stupid now; he had basically when telling the same thing then but you just didn’t want to believe that it could be true, “you said something.”

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. You’re so beautiful,” he watched the smile on your face grow as you looked at some of the silly post-it notes the two of you had exchanged when you still worked at the same lab, “I never can. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Wait,” you sat at the edge of the bed, clutching one of the notes tightly in your hand, “can you just…spell it out for me? I-I don’t know if my brain is working properly right now.”

“Bee,” he crouched down in front of you, large hands settling on your thighs, “I love you. Not just as a best friend, but as everything. I want everything, but only if it’s with you.”

You put one of your hands on his and gave it a gentle squeeze, “yeah?”

“Yeah,” he turned your hand over and traced a finger along the heart and life lines on your palm, “I’m in love with you.”

“Peter.”

“I was wondering when you were going to catch up,” he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to your palm, “MJ’s been trying to get me to tell you for a long time.”

“This whole time?” he nodded as you looked at him with a most ardent and loving expression, “when did you know?”

“It was at that first fair we went that summer after we met,” you remembered that day so clearly. From the sounds and the smells to what the two of you were wearing, to all the whispered conversations and longing looks, “you were wearing that pretty sundress - the yellow one with the little daisies on it - and I almost lost it. I think I knew that night. I really wanted to kiss you then.”

“I wanted you to kiss me then too,” you admitted sheepishly, feeling your entire face warm up, “it was that New Years Eve for me. You took me ice skating and I really wanted to hold your hand so I pretended to be super bad at skating. When it was midnight and kissed my cheek, I knew it was always going to be you for me.”

“I knew you were faking,” he laughed softly, eyes sparkling with happiness, “but I really liked holding your hand and didn’t want to let go. I’ve taken every and any excuse over the years to hold your hand or touch you.”

“I’m…I’m scared, Peter,” you couldn’t imagine a life without him. He was the biggest part of your heart, “what if something happens and we can’t be friends anymore? I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”

“I promise you that you are never going to lose me,” you hoped it was true; you desperately wanted it to be true, “not as Spider-Man and not as plain old Peter. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Pinky promise?” you held up your other hand and extended your pinky towards his. He hooked his finger around yours without hesitation.

“Pinky promise,” he repeated, “and you know the pink promise is law. No one can break them. It’s for life.”

“What if you start to hate me?” that would be your worst fear, “if we start dating or something.”

“I hate to break it to you, honey,” he plopped onto the floor and gently pulled and maneuvered you into his lap. Yeah…that might have become your new favorite spot, “we’ve basically already been dating. It’s really not going to change much. Just some…added benefits.”

And at that, you relaxed, allowing yourself to melt into his body, laughing softly as you rested your forehead on his shoulder, “I guess you’re right. But, Pete-”

“I’m sure,” he put his hand under your chin and turned your face up to his, “I always have been sure. It’s always going to be you.”

“Me too,” you took advantage of the moment and leaned up to steal a quick kiss from him, “I am sorry though, for ignoring you for the past couple of weeks. I was scared and then I didn’t know how to approach you after that.”

“I knew you were doing okay…ish,” he immediately knew what he was going to say next, “MJ kept me updated.”

“She’s going to kill me,” you sighed, “she’s been so mad at me for how I’ve been acting - not that I blame her. She told me to tell you how I felt. She told me it was just a small leap of faith.”

“I’m right here to catch you,” of course he was. He had been since the day he’d met you, “how do you feel, Bee? Tell me.”

“I’m in love with you, Peter Parker,” the smile on his face was beaming. It was enough to warm your heart a million times over, “I want you.”

“You have me.”

“I know,” you took his hand in yours and laced your fingers together. You’d held hands before but it felt so different this time around, “you have me too, you know.”

“I know,” he mirrored the actions with your other hands, “I’ve always known.”

“Hmm,” you closed your eyes and hummed in content, “will you kiss me again?”

“Gladly, Bee,” he brushed his nose against yours, “always.”

MJ was going to flip when she heard the news.

[breanime]

You rushed around your room, securing your earrings as you rushed over to the mirror, taking in your appearance. You had a date tonight, and you wanted to look good. Quickly, you glanced at your phone. Your date had sent you a text a while ago saying that he was on his way, and you wanted to make sure you were ready before he arrived.

But despite your frantic rushing back and forth in your apartment, you had to admit--

--you weren't excited.

It wasn't that he wasn't a nice guy; he was sweet, handsome, had a good, stable job to go with his good, stable life. But that was the thing. You didn't want stable.

You wanted Rio.

But you couldn't handle the lies, the secrets, the long absences. It had gotten to the point where you felt more like an afterthought than a girlfriend.

Fixing your hair one last time, you paused. You could have sworn that you heard the door shut. Grabbing your phone, you walked out of your bedroom in search of your purse.

What you were met with was your ex-boyfriend standing in the middle of your living room.

You gasped, "What the fuck?"

Rio looked you up and down, his gaze slow, unrushed in the way that only a man like him could have; a man who could not be rushed. Slowly, his eyes locked on yours. "You look nice."

"What are you doing in my apartment?" You hissed.

He smirked, not at all repentant. "I wanted to see you," he shrugged, "I was in the neighborhood."

"In the-- Rio, what do you want?" You snapped. In all honesty, you weren't really that upset with him, Rio popping up in your place was a common thing when you were dating. And you loved it. It felt like a little surprise every time it happened. Even now, you kind of loved it. But that irritated you--he wasn't yours anymore, and you weren't his. You shouldn't be happy to see him at all. "Why are you here?"

Rio was eyeing you again, his dark gaze somewhere between appreciative--taking in your outfit, your jewelry, the soft tones of your makeup--and disapproving. "I already told you. Was in the neighborhood. Wanted to see you," he paused, licking his lips slowly, "You must got big plans tonight, huh? Dressed up so nice, lookin' so pretty."

You stood tall, "I've got a date."

"Hm."

"Yeah--he's on his way, actually," you went on, "So..."

He rolled his shoulders, his hands clenching in his pockets, "So," he nodded, "You want me to go?"

You paused. Logically, there was only one answer: yes, of course. Your date would be here any minute, Rio had his chance with you and he ruined it. He should go--he never should have been there in the first place--and you knew if you told him to leave, he would. That was the logical thing to do.

You did the opposite.

"No," you answered honestly, letting your heart take over and the words just came out, "But you can't stay. Not if you're gonna be the exact same as you were before. I can't go back to the lies and the long, lonely nights not even knowing where you are. And I won't. I'm not. So you can either stay, and we can talk, or you can go, and I can move on. Cause this guy is nice--he--he's great," you sighed, "but he isn't you." You took a breath, feeling exposed, like your skin was inside out, and looked at him.

Not taking his eyes off of you, Rio walked deeper into the room, and sat on the couch.

"Let's talk, mama," he said, eyes serious and determined, "Let's talk, and I'll be for real with you. I won't hide nothin', won't tell no lies," his eyes met yours, and you could see the dark determination in them, "Cause I want to stay. I wanna be here," he leaned forward, "I want you. So let's talk." He watched you approach the couch, wary, but willing. You sat, facing him, and Rio smirked.

"But first," he said, his low voice filling the room, "you should call old boy and cancel your date."

**********************************************************************

Goodnight! Thank you for reading!

[comicallylargemango]

How Kakashi, Genma, and iruka would react to reader staring at them while they're talkin

Summary: 's in the title, but anyway.

How they would react to reader staring at em with intently, like all the love in the world intently

Warnings: some suggestive stuff, mostly harmless though cus all fluff.

Kakashi hatake

Halfway through his sentence he just sees reader staring at him with their hands propping up their head

Immediately shuts up and reader asks if sumn is wrong and when he continues talking he's stuttering n messing up all his words

Legit gets red as a tomato, not even his mask could hide it 😭

No one has ever looked at him with so much interest, compassion, and love in their eyes so he literally has a seizure I swear

If y'all were dating and you stared at him like that it's either straight to the bedroom or he's going to be a blushing, flustered mess (depends on where yall r like in public he's gonna be a red mess but inside his apartment YOU're going to be a mess if ykwim)

You would tease him endlessly for his reaction

If y'all weren't dating though that's when he catches feelings like who wouldn't 🤷

He looks so stoic n serious all the time but with just a smidge of PDA he's gonna malfunction

Genma shiranui

He's too distracted with talking he doesn't notice it at first so you just kinda keep staring n humming as a response

When he DOES notice tho he's reduced to a stuttering mess (kinda like Kakashi) but he tries to remain confident n keep his cool, happy go lucky facade but he fails miserably as sighs in defeat.

Unlike Kakashi you can fully see the red, flustered mess your gaze has reduced him to.

Probably slams the table with the other hand covering his lower half of his pretty boy face n makes the excuse that he needs to go to the bathroom. Startling you and other people (if y'all are in public)

Low-key makes you think you did something wrong and immediately apologises to him when he gets back

He dismisses it though and says you did nun wrong but you still get worried nonetheless

When he notices his senbon probably falls outta his mouth cus he probably noticed it mid sentence with his mouth open n yeah

When y'all r dating he definitely teases you about how you're lookin at him, but his heart and mind are going bonkers rn

In public he tries his best to keep the 'kewl bad boy' facade but fails

In PRIVATE though, in private. Make out session. Nothing else no other words just, make out session. (With consent of course)

He thinks it's cute and adorable and he has ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM telling the entire world. Will cup your cheeks and smother you with compliments like "you're so cute I could just eat you up" (or out if you want idk)

Iruka umino

Honestly Kakashi and Genma combined

Tried [keyword; TRIED] to seem cool about it but is definitely going to fail.

Would switch to a completely different and silly topic to see if your reaction changes but it doesn't, it only makes him more flustered that you don't even care about how silly the topic is you just care about him

If he's eating he'll definitely choke on his food from how lovingly you're staring

(prolly gets turned on)

If y'all are dating n sitting/standing next to him while you're staring would probably look away and fake cough tryna hide his face from you

Iruka is definitely a closet perv and you cannot convince me otherwise (not the peeking into women's stalls closet perv) only a perv fo you

At home you're not going to escape his hungry grasp ifyk

In public though he's prolly a blushing mess

Mans is just adorable idk what to tell you 🤷

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[shadow4-1]

Man Thoughts - Ghost Edition (SFW & NSFW)

Just starting a new lil' thing where I try to get into the many thoughts of the COD boys. It helps me write but it's also just kind of fun to characterize these dudes. (MDNI! NSFW Under The Cut)

(These are thoughts Lt. would probably never voice to you, but are thinking in his head.)

-Who let you in 'ere? And why're you so bloody small?

-You're a medic? Tch, you're a lil' bird is what you are. Wouldn't last 5 minutes on the field.

-Price can't be serious about this. M' gonna be the one who has to carry your dead body to evac. Fuckin' hell.

* * * *

-You're funnier than Johnny, I'll give you that. Need t' work on your execution though. I c' hardly understand the joke if you're gigglin' all the way through the bloody delivery.

-You need t' learn to stop smilin' at men like that. Gonna attract some bad kind of attention. N' then m' gonna have to drag some poor sod off o' ya.

-This is gonna be a fun report to write for Price. M' sure he'll agree th' fucker deserved it fer layin' a hand on you like that.

-'F you walk 'n front of me one more bloody time m' gonna have t' grab a handful.

-Fockin' hell. It's a wonder you're not married with a fuckin' rack like that sittin' pretty on your chest.

-Yeah, that's non-reg soap I smell on you. Who're you tryna impress, lil' bird? Hidin' a new piece?

-Aren't thigh high socks an American thing? Either way you're a minx is what you are. Fuck. If you tempt me even a lil' I'm rippin' those straight off your legs.

-What is your obsession with breakin' dress code? I can see everything in those shorts, lil' bird. N' so can every man on base. Are y' lookin' to get dragged off n' fucked? Cause that's what's gonna happen if you don't put on some real clothes soon.

-How fuckin' forgetful are you? Here, just take m' fuckin' jacket, love. I can see your nipples peeking out through your shirt. Next time m' gonna make you flash me before I help you out again.

-Stop sayin' you stink, love. If I had m' way I'd lick you from cunt to ass right now. You smell fuckin' divine.

-So that's what your pretty little lips taste like. Wonder if the others taste the same.

-Wonder how many times I could make you come in one night. Look like a squirter, you do.

-Fuckin' brat. 'F Johnny wasn't here I'd bend you over my knee right now. Keep pushing m' buttons and see if I don't fuck you in the ass for it.

-You have no idea how bad I need you right now.

-If anyone else tries to see you like this m' a kill 'em. Only I can see your body like this. Fuck, you're perfect.

[princessbrunette]

barry x reader relationship, wether it’s platonic or anything else else is just something so serious to me now, like i can just imagine reader who sees barry angry for the first time and since she’s so used to comforting angry rafe she goes over and gives him one of her sweet little hugs that always clam rafe down, and tells barry not to be sad because he’s her best friend (he always gives her candy and money and is nice to her which automatically makes him her bestfriend much to rafe’s dismay, i don’t make the rules sorry!)

or maybe something in reverse where reader is upset & hiding from rafe (who’s waving her off cs he’s used to her dramatic tantrums and he’ll take care of her in a minute) and barry finds her & listens to her rant and sniffle about the situation, and he’s just mockingly agreeing with her the whole time, like “you’re right doll, he should have let you sit in his lap, that asshole.” & “How fucking dare he let go off your hand? this is bullshit, i honestly can’t believe it.” just riling her up more and more until rafe finally comes to find her and is like “stop encouraging her., please” bc he knows in her little head that barry being on her side and justifying her actions is all the more reason to keep being bratty, but is off too late now. Barry has made her believe she’s right.

“stop encouraging her, please” NAJDJDJD rafe is so tired 😭😭😭

nah but barry is playing a long game, and whilst you’d never leave rafe because you love him too much, you’re happy barry is around to listen when rafe is being dumb. he’s always slipping you some extra money, pressing the notes into your hand telling you “incase country club ain’t lookin’ after you.” and nodding along intently whilst you ramble about how mean rafe was, looking up at you as he rolls his joint to say “now all i’m saying is that if i secured a girl as bad as you? shit, i wouldn’t fumble it like he does. would treat you like a princess, for real.” and like rafe DOES mostly and yk you’re just being silly but it’s nice to have barry affirm you yk???

whenever you show up with rafe, barry is instantly on you, squeezing your cheek all “and how’re you, lil miss? this one treating you good? or am i gonna have to have words with him?” nodding his head towards rafe who’s already rolling his eyes and pulling you to stand at his other side.

and barry is lovely to you !! truly !! you don’t understand why rafe gets so irritated with him !! it’s because what you don’t know, is he’s holding you over rafes head to continue doing a good job pushing his product. he’s all smiles, until you leave the room and then he’s closing in on rafe like “i tell you what, pretty boy — keep fuckin’ with my money and i just might have to show your girl what she’s missin’… you don’t want that, right? yeah, i thought so. sell my shit and get my money.” before walking off, leaving rafe more pissed than ever, vowing to stop bringing you to his meets with barry :(

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

IRL MEETS WITH DAZAI, SIGMA AND FYODOR

Headcanon: How I imagine you and the boys meeting after being online friends Genre: Crack A/N: Still questioning why i tried writing this... Warning? Bad grammer and 0 proofread →Masterlist

Dazai:

You both pretty much met on twitter when you were concerning who was behind the chuuya hate acc 🤩 I mean who can hate chuuya?

you probably were a new member in the mafia for not knowing about THE Dazai oSaMU

or you were a member of Detective agency dense enough to know that they both were infact enemies and not enemies soon to be lovers 🤩🤩😔🏳️‍🌈

OR You were a freelancer fresh college passout student who was wasting their time online getting blocked by 12 year old kids 🤩😋that was until you accidentally befriend him

successfully had 6th month friendaversy. 🤩🤩

when you both exchanged your place of residence you were shocked to know there are actually useless people in Japan apart from you

OR You were just concerned to know that he used to stay up late at night to talk to you while you message him in between work hours. 🤩🤩Dazai is such a romantic mood NGL

AHHHH Its the day of THE friends meeting.

You lowkey regret befriending him.

He probably sends you discord kitten memes and his hand pics for no reason. [BUT CSN WE TALK ABOUT HIS HANDS-!!?]

Mf once tried to video call you when you specifically told him NOT to.

He was blocked for a whole week before someone named 'iaminlovewithdeathtoes' spammed you.

🤡honestly you realised you both never shared your name, so pretty much to arrived at the meetup place, thinking of ways how to say 'chuuyahater6fttall' and knowing him, he prob would have you come over the agency cause bitch is lazy asf.

Dingdong you arrive at Yokohama or pretty much at the agency 🤩🤗except you were shitting in your pants cause what the actual fuck. So the person you talked with, who encouraged all kind of illegal stuff and told you to shoplift and send a pic was actually a detective??? Nah dawg you wished he was a lowkey an accountant cause which detective will have so much time to be online and chat?

boi you were wrong. And to have cherry on the top, you bumped into a brown coat bearing man who looked like he was high on nuts. But damn he looked hot

did you say "sir please scream me without the s 🥺" to yourself? Did he hear it? probably

🤩boom your headphones got disconnected for a moment and the whole agency went silent as the lyrics of "good lookin" started to play.

The man infront of you laughs before kidnapping you and dragging you out of the agency, a queue of screams and shouts for the man to comeback and you desperately trying to switch off your phone. (🤩🤗The lyrics were blasting through the area)

honestly you didn't mind as long as he turns out to be those Wattpad overprotective mafia bosses 🤩🤩🤗🌟 so you can have ur Y/N moment

'Help I am getting kidnapped by brown coat man and am left all alone' you typed, as the three dots indicated that chuuyahater typing before he replied, 'I am the man'

The way you audibly screeched as your turn back and your hand automatically made a way to his face to give him a slap. (🤩You heard laughing in the background, it was chuuya fyi)

"Aww belladonna, I thought you loved me" "THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU KIDNAP ME AND MAKE ME STAND ON TOP OF A HIGHASS BUILDING" "But you agreed to do it once we meet!"

Oh he was serious when he said that 🤡

You ran away as fast as you can away from him, as you typed

'you are a bitch you know that?' 'And you are really beautiful you know that?'

😍🤩 you were greatful to get away from him, except he was knocking at you door (hotel door if u came from other part of the world) at 3am playing THAT part of the song "redbone by childish gambino" (iykwim) outside your door

Sigma

you both honestly never befriended.

You accidentally messaged him asking him to deliver you a pizza

🤩and when he replied with 'wrong number' you lost your shit. 'The fuck you mean wrong number you son of a-' 'Dont have one?'

Sigma maybe anxious in real life but online? Pretty sure he is a full on sassy sarcastic not so sweet Sigma (respectfully)

You both might have had a very professional verbal conversation over phone that day.

He and you might have bonded yet again when you, my dear reader accidentally send him a meme you were suppose to send someone else (guess who) and Sigma lost his shit.

Why was na unknown number, with memory of a snail sending him 20 pictures of a fisheye doll at 3am in the morning?

'Are you okay-?' He probably asked, 'Do I look sane?' you probably answered.

😭 but lowkey thinks that you both exchanged your insta Ids or smthg.

😡😡He didn't even acknowledge your following and never followed you back. 😔 rip your follower count

You spam him with reels and he? REPLIES TO ALL OF THEM LIKE GOOD BLESS THIS MAN TO RUN A WHOLEASS CASINO AND STILL HAVE TIME TO WATCH YOUR REELS

You would rant to him and he will listen 100%

Pretty sure you never tired to meet up. It was your ass being dragged by one of your friends to accompany them to a flying casino and get bankrupt.

Prob msged him saying how edible the manager of the place you went looked😭😭 (you didn't tell him u went to a casino so)

He replies with 'go get your man and stop telling me details about his hands'

And so you did, pretty much used your luck and became the star of Casino😡😡

Society validation? Nah 👎 but Casino manager acknowledge? Yah 👍

Now the thing is, Sigma probably got really indulged on how you managed to beat records that he spent time doing a background check rather then opening his phone and seeing your 99+ texts.

You on the other hand? Went wild. Your online friend wasn't responding!!!?? 😡😡 and you were telling him the tea how the manager put his hand on your shoulder acknowledging you.

Little did you know, you were so blinded texting 'the casino manager' You failed to realise you bumped into him.

phone drop, heart stop screen crack, gave you a heart attack.

worst part? The 'Manager' picked up your phone, looking down at the chat only to see his pfp and his contact named "Pizzah Guz" and your half written text of 'Where are you, I miss talking to| '

You were whereas unsure whether to feel embarrass or cry. You see his face only to realise the amount of shock you gave to the manager.

😭😭Pretty sure it took some time for him to cool down.

BUT I THINK he totally appears in front of your room, with a pizza guy costume and a box full of pizza, messaging you 'Open your door'

You were a little freaked out by his message. I mean Imagine texting a random guy and the only thing you know about him is that he is not a pizza guy and he tells you to open your door?

You open your door to see the manager in a pizza delivery guy uniform, a pizza in his hands while he holds his phone together, before he hands it over to you, before your phone notification tings, your online friend sends an image capturing 'Pizza delivery'

You fainted on the spot of pure embarrassment and realisation when you realise you were texting the manager while simping on him and describing details.

Or you just take the pizza and close the door, switch off and throw your phone on the bed and eat the pizza while the realisation hits.

Fyodor:

You both probably met on discord while bullying middle schools for their pfp choices 😭

10/10 had bombing conversation 👁️👄👁️ that is until you realise he was serious about it.

You be joking about how you will learn hacking to hack him and that moment all your dms get 'Join the rat cult' Picture.

😭😭please idts you met physically…like the possibility of fyodor arriving at your doorstep while you are half asleep eating a pizza and watching TV is insane.

Imagine you peep through the peephole and see fisheye fyodor 🤩🤩 10/10 scared

Online friend? Nah man he is your offline terrorist. That was until his wholeass body blewup and the only thing that was left was his arm from which he used to type to your responses from.

10/10 Power of Love and friendship

I feel like whenever you both VC, your silly self will try to use the soundboard and he probably vibe to it.

You both accidently made a cult.

Fyodor NGL prob just stalked you out of boredom.

Nikolai probably be backreading your chats and the next day you have a new coworker named "Fyolaya"

Honestly there is a possibility that fyodor has zero interest in meetup and then bam Nikolai scopes you in the middle of your work and drop you on fyodor's lap🤩

Imagine the tension when you, a average worker in the society lands on the lap of one of THE Doa members

Y/N x hot mafia boss who kidnaps Y/N accidentally cause Y/N met his man au? Terrorist edition?

You living a Wattpad life? Possibilly

A/N: Look i am sane

TAGLIST: @averagehisoilluenjoyer, @high-on-dazai @ruru-kiss Join or remove your user here.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

I saw the camping date and I loved it but what about a the campers au auron and rook go on date but the kids pull it off.

Like the campers do team work and all together they make a nice nature date for there favorite camp counselor rook and get auron to get out of his office

( bonus points for a kid to try and sing a romantic song only to fail and angel just puts on jazz)

Help from some Cherubs and Cupids.

Au was made by @thetopichot all credits go to my moot.

Auron already knew the kids and counselors were going to try something today. Charlie didn't look him in the eye when he asked the blonde if the others were planning something. So before he could poke a bit Casper popped out of no where saying the kids wanted to see him for a second.

Confused the older man out of the boys walked to the children's cabins where they all were sitting. Some of the little girls ran up to him and started to bombard him with questions about his relationship. Feeling a smile creep up on his face he asked the kids bluntly about the reason behind this.

"Yes, me and counselor Rook are together. Why do you ask children?" Looking down att eh kids they gave each other a cheeky grin.

"Have you gone on a date yet?" A brown haired kid asked, Josh, Auron recalled his name. The red head shook his head at the question. There wasn't a lot of time to go on a date this summer because if the Camp.

"But you have to go on a date! It's a rule when your in a relationship!" A ginger kid said giving Auron a serious look. Causing him to chuckle and cross his arms at the kiss who agree with Shelby, the ginger kid. Why are these kids to interested in his love life? Did Rook say something?

"Well I can't have dates because I need to look after all of you. Now go on its time for your activities to start. Be good for the other counselors okay?" The kids protested but with a soft stern look went to go do the activities. The first one being art's and crafts with Rook, if they can't get information out of him they'll have to do.

"Hey kiddos! Ready to paint pretty ro-" The partner of Auron was suprised when every small eyes snapped on them. They were flooded with questions about dates and if Auron ever took them on one. Rook sighed as the kids weren't listening so they decided to do something about it.

"If you hear me clap once!" They clapped a few followed, "If you hear me clap twice!" There was more this time, "If you hear me clap three times!" All of them clapped in unison with Rook. Now that was out of the way Rook told them all to sit down to paint the rocks.

"Now, I'm going to let SOME of you ask me a question so who ever I pick ask me a good one okay?" There was groans of protest but Rook gave a 'behave' look. There was one kid who decided to shoot one at them.

"Would you have a date in the forest here? Since you can't go to the city and have one?" Catching all attention the curiosity grew as little eyes locked on Rook again. Blinking the adult was confused on the question and before they could speak another counselor came by.

"Are y'all givin Rook here a hard time?" Asking Seth, the brown haired man looked at the kids. He was told by Auron to check on Rook since it seems the kids were rowdy today. Seth was wondering why but after hearing the question his thoughts were answered.

"No! Are we Mx. Rook?" Puppy dog eyes looked at Rook. And the adult sighed giving Seth a head shake, to not feed into it.

"Their fine, but they do need to start on their activity before they have to go to the next one." This caused the kids that did want to paint rocks go into gear. Hopefully the next patch of kids can get answers out of Rook.

Meanwhile in the canteen Boo was asked about how to make goods for a date. The baker cocked a eyebrow at the children lookin up at them.

"With love of course." Answering bluntly Boo asked one of them to pass them a whisk to stir their bowl with. One kid gave them a 'are you serious' look and Boo laughed at it. Sighing they decided to give a question in return.

"Why? Is there someone you wanna impress?" Smelling mischief in the sugary goodness they were making Boo gave a cheeky grin at the kids. Who looked at each other having. A silent conversation before getting Boo involved.

"We wanna help Mr. Auron and Mx. Rook have a date!" Roxanne answered a lil girl with pigtails exclaiming happily. But then gave a droopy look at she added to her statement. "But we don't know how to bake things. Also we don't know how to set one up too!" Feeling their heart soften for the kids Boo looked at one of the boys.

"Go get counselor Alphonse for me 'kay?" The black haired boy nodded and sprinted off. "If you kids wanted to do that y'all coulda just asked!" Placing a batch of cookies in the oven Boo yelled in the back to Lucien who was making lunch for the kids.

"OI BIG RED!" A head popped out looking at them.

"HUH?" Shouting back the taller man was confused.

"WERE HELPING THE KIDS GET RED HEAD AND MONARCH A DATE! COOK UP SOME FOOD FOR THEM WOULD YA?" The kids cheered at the words. Then ran off to go get the other adults in on it, why did they think of this before?

Word spread fast between the camp, the adults were pitching in when they could. Angel and Alphonse distracted Rook with helping them with the kids asking questions. Charlie and Casper was in charge of watching Auron, who didn't hear the commotion because if the paper work he needed to finish.

Boo and Lucien made the food for the date, Angel helped with the music, and Seth with Scout was able to find a clearing in the woods. Jack, Finn, Sunflower, and Buddy decorated the set up while the kids helped too. Star was picking out an outfit for Rook to change into and Faust was doing the same for Auron. Everyone was doing their part, but before everyone could finish Auron was suspicious of how quiet it was.

Seeing Auron come out of his cabin Charlie rushed to the others. Casper decided to try and stall their boss, so in a effort they decided to make up a lie.

"Auron I think the toilets clogged again." Pointing to one of the farthest bathrooms. Auron groaned at that didn't he JUST get them fixed last week? Grumbling he followed Casper who was behind him with keys. Meanwhile Charlie kicked everyone in overdrive with saying how Auron was on his way.

Some kids rushed off to where Casper was to help them, and the rest focused on making the clearing look perfect. Rook was cleaning up during all of this wondering where everyone went. But Star ended up running to them, causing a paint cup to spill all over their uniform. Glaring at the other counselor Star apologized.

"Here come to the cabin I have something you can wear!" Happy that their plan worked out Star dragged Rook into their cabin. Rook was confused on why they were getting into a dress but decided why not. When this was happening Auron was locked in the bathroom, a but annoyed he interrogated Casper.

"Casper, why the hell are you doing this? Unlock this door right now." Casper was twirling the keys and blew a raspberry at the door.

"Hhmm no! Not yet at least." Looking around they spotted the bluenette with a suit in his hands. Waving they ignored Auron hitting the bathroom door. When Faust finally reached the bathrooms they unlocked it and the younger brother chucked the cloths at him.

"Put that on or I'll tell Rook about your diary." Grinning Faust loved the surprised look he was given. Casper giggling before closing the door and Faust yelled through it. "Hurry up too Rook's waiting for you!" Grumbling was heard behind the door as Auron changed.

Rook being dragged by Star wondered why they were going into the woods. But gasped at the fairy lights and decorations they saw as they walked more into the trees. There was the kids all in fancy-ish clothing looking at Rook with wide eyes and smiles.

"Awe did our kiddos turn into Cherubs? This is so beautiful you guys!" Looking around Rook touched one of the flowers cascading down a tree. Then looking at the adults who gave them smiles and thumbs up. Before they could speak again a familiar voice was hear.

"-lock me in a BATHROOM then make me walk out of here in a suit? Why are we even....oh." Scolding turned into surprise as Auron looked at everything. Then seeing Rook in a outfit that suited them well, smiling at his partner he turn to the kids.

"So, that's why there was a lot of questions today huh?" The kids looked at him sheepishly. But one if them started to sing, it was Anna, a girl who wanted to become a singer.

"So this is love! Hmm hmm hmm so this is what makes life divine!" Humming out the other kids started to join. Giggling Rook walked to Auron and held their hand out. The red head got the hint, bowing slightly he gave a charming smile.

"May I have this dance?" Love filled his words as he brought Rook close to him. Both spinned around slowly as they danced to the song the kids sang. But then one coughed loudly, falling to the ground hacking up a lung.

"OH ARE YOU OKAY JOHN?" Rook asked panicked letting go of Auron to rush to the kid. He was a little boy around seven that had asthma, which caused the other adults to panic a bit.

"I'm...I'm fine I think I shallowed a fly! Eeewww!" Grossed out he spit on the ground, the other kids gagged at the thought. Angel quickly got their radio out of a bush and to fix the mood played a song from one of the stations. The couple after being told that really he was okay slipped back into their romantic aura again.

After dancing and holding each other the other adults ushered the kids away. It was turning into night time, and the kids have a set bedtime to adhear too. There was complains of 'I'm not sleepy!' And 'But I wanna see more!' All ended up in yawns as the kids tried to rub sleep from their eyes.

"Their good kid's aren't they?" Acknowledging Rook laid their head on Auron's shoulder. They felt a kiss on their forehead as they were guided to the small table with the food.

"They really are. Our own Cherubs, it's sweet they did this for us. I don't remember the last time we had alone time." Pulling out Rook's chair Auron pushed them in for the table. Then going to his side and sitting down, then both held each other's hands. It was nice, they finally had their own time away from the camp.

The night continued of Auron and Rook chatting, even enjoying the food Lucien and Boo made for them. Then Rook asked about the bathroom thing he was scolding Casper about before coming here. It was funny to hear after being annoyed that the plumbing might be fucking up again he got locked into he farthest bathroom from this clearing.

Rook laughed and Auron rolled his eyes, but he couldn't take his off of his partner. They look amazing, it made getting locked in a bathroom worth it, just so he can see them like this.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Kink List With Aegon The Conqueror

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Well, he's not one for flowery words, but you're gonna find him real tender afterwards. He'd be gently stroking your back, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, maybe even kissing every inch of skin that he can reach.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's a sucker for curves. It's better in his eyes. Always complimentin' 'em, touchin' 'em up when he thinks nobody's lookin'. But he ain't shallow - he appreciates the rest of the package too.

His favorite body part? That would definitely be his hands. Strong, calloused, but oh so capable of bringing pleasure.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

I'd say his favorite is probably deep inside. Filling you up until you're dripping with it. The way he grunts and moans as he shoots his load, it's enough to make your toes curl. And then there's the aftermath, watching you clean yourself off, knowing it was him who made such a mess. It's a sight that never fails to please him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Well, this might come as a surprise, but our boy here has a bit of a kink for exhibitionism. There's nothing quite like the thrill of getting it on in public, feeling eyes on him while he's balls-deep into you. He loves the idea of being caught, of the risk and danger of it all. It's a rush unlike anything else for him.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Experienced as hell. He knows exactly what he's doing, every move calculated to bring maximum pleasure. Been around the block a few times, learned from his mistakes, and refined his skills till he's a master at pleasuring both himself and others. He's got a natural talent for it too, always seeming to hit just the right spot. Whether it's a quickie in the bathroom or a marathon session in bed, he's in complete control, guiding you through it all with confidence and expertise.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Doggy style - There's just something about seeing you ready and waiting for him. He loves gripping onto those hips, pulling you back against him as he thrusts deep inside. The view is incredible, watching his cock slide in and out, seeing you moan and gasp with each movement. Plus, it lets him go nice and deep, hitting spots that'll leave you shaking and begging for more.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

When it comes to the heat of the moment, he's all business. No jokes, no playful banter, just raw, unadulterated lust. He's focused, intent on giving you the best fucking of your life. But once things calm down afterward, he's not above cracking a joke or two. He's got a dry wit, quick with a quip that can make you laugh even as you're recovering from the intensity of his lovemaking.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

His hair is always perfectly styled, whether it's messy and tousled or slicked back neatly. He takes pride in his appearance and wants to look good for you. And trust me, the carpet matches the drapes in more ways than one. That thick, muscular frame is complemented beautifully by his perfectly trimmed pubes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's not shy about showing affection, holding you close, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He's not afraid to get personal, to let you see just how much he's enjoying himself. And when it comes to romance, he's got a knack for making you feel special. He's attentive, and caring, making sure you're comfortable and satisfied throughout.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he's alone and craving some release, he doesn't hold back. He'll start slow, working his hand up and down his length, teasing himself mercilessly. But soon enough, he gets into a rhythm, pumping fast and hard, groaning softly as he strokes himself. He's not shy about touching himself either, often reaching down to give his balls a good squeeze. And when he finally reaches his climax, it's a sight to behold – he shoots his load across the room, panting heavily as he rides out the waves of pleasure.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Definitely domination. He loves being in control and having power over his partner. Whether it's tying you up, spanking you, or simply commanding you to do as he says, he gets off on the thrill of total control.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He has a thing for unconventional locations. He loves the thrill of getting it on somewhere unexpected. A secluded park bench, a dimly lit alleyway, even the back of his dragon. Anywhere that's private yet risky is perfect for him. The thought of being caught, of potentially getting caught, only adds to the excitement.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

It's not just physical attraction – he's drawn to intelligence, wit, and a sharp tongue. Someone who can keep up with him intellectually and verbally is a major turn-on. And of course, there's the obvious, a willingness to explore new sexual experiences and push boundaries. That's what really gets him going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He hates it when his partners are disrespectful or unappreciative. If you're not into it, if you're not enjoying yourself, he'll lose interest quickly. Another thing that really turns him off is he's also not into playing games or leading someone on - if he's not interested, he'll let you know up front rather than stringing you along.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He is equally skilled at both giving and receiving oral. He's got a talented tongue, able to tease and tantalize with ease. Whether he's using it to worship you, he knows exactly how to push all the right buttons. And when it comes to receiving, he's just as adept. He loves the sensation of a warm mouth enveloping his cock, sucking him deep and setting his nerves alight.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to mix things up, keeping you guessing. Sometimes he's fast and rough, pounding into you with unrestrained energy. Other times, he slows down, taking his time to savor every inch of your body. He's adaptable, able to switch between intense, passionate sex and gentle, loving caresses depending on the situation.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Aegon is a fan of quickies, especially when he's short on time. He believes in making the most of every opportunity, even if it means a hasty, adrenaline-fueled encounter. For him, a quick fuck can be just as satisfying as a long, leisurely session. He's not opposed to a proper, drawn-out affair, but he also appreciates the thrill of a spontaneous, forbidden tryst. As long as the chemistry is there, he's game for whatever pace you prefer.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He loves a challenge, and he's not afraid to take risks to satisfy his desires. Whether it's trying new positions, exploring different sensations, or indulging in a little bit of danger, he's always game to experiment. He thrives on pushing boundaries, testing limits, and experiencing the rush that comes with breaking the rules.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Aegon's stamina is legendary. He's built like a tank, with the endurance to match. He can go for hours, keeping up an intense pace that leaves you breathless and spent. And even after multiple rounds, he still has plenty left in the tank. He's not one to quit until everyone involved is thoroughly satisfied.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns quite a collection of toys, ranging from vibrators and dildos to nipple clamps and butt plugs. He's not shy about incorporating them into his sessions to enhance the experience. Whether it's teasing a sensitive spot or adding another layer of pleasure, he knows how to use these tools effectively to keep the heat high.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Loves to tease, finding pleasure in drawing out the anticipation and building tension. He enjoys watching you squirm, knowing that he's got you right where he wants you. He might toy with you for minutes, maybe even hours, before finally giving you what you crave. It's all part of the fun for him, adding another layer of excitement to each encounter.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He is not quiet when he's in the throes of passion. He lets out deep, guttural moans and grunts, his voice echoing through the room. He's not afraid to express himself, letting loose with grunts of pleasure as he nears orgasm. His body is also quite expressive, twitching and writhing as he loses himself in the moment.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Our boy has a secret fetish for public displays of affection. Despite his love for risqué, hidden-away trysts, there's something about being seen, about the risk of being caught, that really turns him on. He's been known to sneak kisses and fondles in crowded places, reveling in the thrill of possibly getting caught.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His cock is quite impressive. It's about 8 inches long when fully erect and has a girth of around 6 inches around the base. The head is slightly pointed with a bit of a curve to it, perfect for deepthroating or balls-deep fucking. Overall, he's very proud of his package and loves showing it off to those who appreciate it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is insatiable. He's constantly thinking about sex, craving touch and intimacy. He's always ready to go, his body primed and willing. Even when he's not actively pursuing someone, his mind is filled with fantasies and desires.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After a particularly intense session, he tends to crash hard. The combination of exertion and release leaves him exhausted, and he often falls asleep within minutes of finishing. He needs that rest, his body worn out from the effort.

[messycunt]

Twst dick hcs

This was made over the course of a 2 hr gc call with the girls 

Dont ask. 

This is only half serious 

cw: discussion of nonhuman anatomy, dick piercings, talk of cum n balls and stuff idk what to say 

Riddle: 

Circumcised

Its cute and pink

The tip gets red when he's worked up

Hes kinda tiny but its cute ig 

Doesn't shave uses safety scissors to trim 

V sensitive 

His cum is kinda watery 

Shoots far but doesn't shoot much 

Trey: 

not circumcised

thick

Not super hairy not smooth either 

Dark and heavy 

cums alot 

His balls are heavy too kinda firm 

Likes having his balls fondled not squeezed 

Probably has 1 or 2 piercings 

Cater: 

Circumcised

Pretty slender w average thickness 

Its kinda blushy idk how to describe it 

Curves to the right

Has a mole on the left side of the base

His balls r nothing to write home about 

Smooth as hell 

Ace: 

Circumcised, did it himself probably idfk 

Not much to say about him

Average overall 

Deuce: 

Not circumcised

Has a prince albert or some shit deff not done professionally

Hes a lil veiny  

Leona:

Not circumcised

A bit bigger than average

He probably has a spikey cat dick but yall aint ready for that convo

Its pink 

Cums lots and lots 

Doesn't shave but keeps it trimmed down there 

Ruggie:

Not circumcised 

Cums a little less than average but can go 2-3 rounds w no breaks in between to make up for it 

Does NOT have a knot, 

Surprisingly hairy but he knows how to keep himself clean 

Jack:

Not circumcised 

THIS boy has a knot a big juicy red one at that

He's super hairy too has a happy trail and everything

Super heavy balls

veiny

Runny cum 

There's sosososo much of it and it flows down like a waterfall 

Azul:

Not circumcised

Surprisingly big 

There's a beauty mark on that thang somewhere 

His cum is p viscous and pearly 

Purple tip

Curves up 

Floyd:

Not circumcised

Thicker than Jade but shorter

It's like a forest down there shaving makes him itchy BUT HE IS CLEAN its course too 

Runs like a faucet even before he cums

Dark pink tip its heavy too 

Curves left 

Heavy balls those thangs be swangin  

Jade:

Not circumcised

Longer than Floyd but thinner 

Pink tip 

Smooth

Cums in looong thin ropes  

Curves right 

Tight balls kinda cute even dare i say maybe even kissable 

Kalim:

Not circumcised

Average length but a lil bit thicker 

Curves up and to the left a lil

2 or 3 piercing 

Cums a normal amount 

Jamil:

Not circumcised

Lengthy  

It's a little darker than the rest of him

Another dribbler 

Doesn't shave

Curves up and to the right 

V sensitive head 

Has like plump balls, not too big, not too small not too much skin

Probably has a snake eyes piercings or something idk

Vil: 

Circumcised 

Pretty barbie dick idk what else to say 

Cute pink tip 

Perfect size

Curves up a lil

Meticulously trimmed, im talking taint balls and all

Bleached his asshole unrelated but he did  

He should do porn or something 

Rook: 

Circumcised 

Vil circumcised him himself or something idfk 

Has multiple or no piercings at all 

Somewhat trimmed 

Deep red tip

Somewhat veiny 

His cum is on the thicker side 

Epel:

Circumcised 

Bigger than you'd think but not too big

He's a growing boy ok 

Doesn't have much of a curve 

Vil makes him shave but there's not that much hair to begin w…

Pinkish red tip

V smooth shaft 

Can't get any piercings cus of Vil 

Runny cum but theres alot of it 

Idia: 

Circumcised

“He might not look like he gets bitched but honey that dick is 11 inches”

The tip is blue. That's it.

Curves up 

Real shiny lookin and veiny

Firm balls 

Wants piercings but he's so so shy 

Ortho:

uhm.

Malleus:

Not circumcised 

No hair

2 monstrously large dicks

Bottom one is longer than the top 

The top one has ridges at the top and the bottom of it has barbed spikes 

They can move btw 

Dark purple and tapered at the tip 

There's a slit where the eggs come out they're like tiny and squishy

The liquid that comes out with the eggs is slippery and a purple- green multichrome

Lilia:

Circumcised but he can grow it back if he wants to don't think about it too long

Grower not a shower 

Its so fucking heavy it hangs down 

Yes he dyed his pubes too

Its purple or red idk

A bit veiny but on the right side more than the left 

Cums an insane amount and cums far

short refractory period 

Sebek: 

Circumcised

On the slightly thicker side but he's still growing so those fae genes will kick in soon shhhhh

He doest shave but he does trim a lil

Thick cum 

pink tip curves up and left

SIlver: 

Circumcised 

Another one where i have nothing to say

[teecupangel]

It's me, the ratatouille AU anon again djjshd

The only thing that would make this even better is that Desmond hears US, the player, also. The amount of times I called him babygirl, or pretty little angel, or my special little boy. He'd be both horrified and flattered.

Also calling Juno a gnarly ghost lookin-ass bitch. I'm sorry Desmond, I know this is serious business but I can't look at her for longer than 5 seconds.

Hello, Ratatouille AU nonny! For those unfamiliar with it, here’s the post where Desmond’s ancestors can hear Desmond as he ‘controls’ them.

“Let me get this straight…” Shaun rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried to understand the Bleeding Episode currently plaguing Desmond this time around, “You hear voices that’s not your ancestors or anyone they might have known. And you know they’re talking to you because…”

“They call me babygirl.” Desmond said calmly.

Too calmly.

Like the calm of a man who had given up all his sanity and has reached a zen state of craziness.

Rebecca furiously looked over all the documents they have about the Bleeding Effect that Lucy had given them.

Shit.

How accurate were these anyway considering Lucy’s true allegiance? 

These could all be fake or some of the important stuff could have been omitted like…

Desmond’s current situation.

“And… what do these voices tell you?” Shaun asked, curious enough to continue even though he could feel a migraine already coming.

“Uuuhh…” Desmond tilted his head slightly before saying, “Dad’s the worst father in these games and I should just beat the crap out of him… Juno’s a gnarly ghost and wants to enslave people after killing me… uuuhh…”

“Wait, wait, wait, what ‘games’?” Shaun asked.

“Oh.” Desmond blinked, looking like he actually just forgot to tell them that big bombshell, “We’re apparently game characters of this franchise called Assassin’s Creed and… uuuhh… I’m their bestest boi in the modern day setting.”

“Modern day setting…” Shaun repeated before asking, “Are you telling me that our entire existence is… fictional? We don’t exist? We’re just characters in this… video game franchise?”

“Oh crap.” Rebecca mumbled, realizing that Shaun was on the verge of an existential crisis. 

Fuck.

Of course the conspiracy theorist would latch on to that idea almost immediately!

“Shaun-”

“Pretty much.” Desmond shrugged before adding, “If it makes you feel any better, you and Rebecca are pretty much the only regulars of the modern day setting.”

“Oh, so our very existence have already been taken care of then? We’re just little puppets-” 

Rebecca sighed and ignored Shaun’s rant to ask Desmond, “So? Did these voices tell you anything at all on what’s going to happen after we save the world?” 

“Oh, yeah, about that…” Desmond turned to look at Rebecca as he said, “They told me to let the world burn… just to see how it goes and…”

“... as a treat.”

(Let’s be honest, guys, if we were given the ability to talk to Desmond, we’ll be such capricious ‘gods’.)