#they need to be more accustomed to people and physical affection

[tojjist]

𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍 ↳ s. gojo

in which : even the strongest wants some love, so please give it to him! contains : slightly suggestive, so much fluff, extremely self indulgent

SATORU never realized how touch starved he is. He never even thought about it. It simply didn't occur to him that physical contact actually means something.

He's seen people doing it before, on more occasions than he can count. But Satoru never understood the appeal of being in such proximity to someone you can count the pores on their face. Not that he has to worry about that, anyway.

And truly, ignorance is a gift.

It only took one hug from you to change Satoru's world. It took one short embrace, a slight whiff of your subtle perfume for him on your third date to become addicted.

Satoru never lacked anything. He' been served everything he desires on a silver spoon his entire life; wealth, care, power. He's always been privileged. So to crave something he simply can't receive whenever he wants is a strange feeling.

The way he steals little touches, helping you with your jacket, placing his hand on the small of your back, brushing away your hair from your face, and so much more, does not go unnoticed by you. It's not in anyway unpleasant, and you're always sure to give him an encouraging reaction.

It's surprising to see his need for this kind of affection. He tries his best to not come off as creepy or too needy, but he doesn't know what he looks like and what he should do.

He never understands what's so addicting about the simple feeling of you. Is it your smell? Or the warmth you provide? He's content just keeping you in his hold forever.

What takes you aback even more is how skilled he is at sex. You can tell he's been with countless women just by a simple stroke of his hand or a thrust of his hips. Yet, he seems so unsure how to hold you after, feeling as if anything he does would come off wrong.

He comes to you one day distorted, asking to meet up on a whim. He says he really just wants to see you but you know better. You see the slightly distracted look in his eyes, you notice the way his fingers fidget, and the way his feet tap against the tile of the coffeeshop. He’s nervous you can tell, but you don’t understand why as he sounded so fine this morning when he called.

“Hey,” you whisper to him, calling for his attention. His blue eyes immediately find your eyes, trying his best to seem normal. 

“Yeah?” Is what Satoru manages as he gathers himself the best he could. “What’s wrong? Do you want to add something else?”

You hold back a chuckle. He’s so different from all the other people you know. In a way, it’s part of his charm. But it also makes him so hard to understand.

“Are you okay?” It’s a simple question, but one that confuses him all the same. He feels a warm presence over the back of his hand. When Satoru looks down, he sees that you have placed your palm over his. It’s calming. It’s sweet. It’s so comforting he doesn’t know what to say.

“Be my girlfriend.”

It’s a demand. He’s not asking, he’s telling you. He had this perfect plan, but your touch ruined everything. Your touch weakened him. He hates you for it. He loves you so much.

It takes him time, and you give him it, to get accustomed to those touches. He learns what to do and when to do it. And you give him all the love he needs. He’s like a little puppy, still discovering right from wrong.

He holds you every night like there is no tomorrow, pampering you and spoiling you with kisses because he can. He begs you to stay in his embrace every morning, even when the duties that should be attended are his and not your own. There is never too little time when it comes to you. He’d put the world on hold for a few more moments of you. 

Sometimes he questions if it’s really okay. Should he, as a man, let you make him this vulnerable? It’s not like there’s a guide for these things. Even if there was, he wouldn’t be caught dead reading one. 

But those thoughts only last so long. It takes one kiss from you to forget. To ignore. To not care anymore. Because what is he if not a slave to your embrace? Satoru only finds himself at peace when in your arms. For all he cares, the world could burn, as long as you just hug the man.

[cosmicpuzzle]

7th Lord in Houses - New Edition ❤️

1st House

This is a good placement. It indicates that the partners are very similar. Your partner's life affects you and vice versa. Your partner may like you physically as 1st house is your body/personality. These are the couples to always be together if other afflictions aren't there. These couples rarely break apart even if there are conflicts in the relationship. Your partner may dominate you if the planets involved are Sun or Mars.

2nd House

Here the relationship totally becomes focused on creating material security. You both are possessive of each other and need constant physical touch and caressing. Your partner may or may not like your family members. You can also spend a lot post marriage simply because you get accustomed to a spendthrift partner. I have also seen the partner can be stingy and that leads to conflicts. This is more of an issue when one of the partners isn't earning and becomes dependent on the other.

3rd House

This is a fun placement if the planets involved are benefics such as Mercury/Venus/Jupiter. There is a lot of discussion in the marriage that the physical passion can suffer. The relationship can be too mental and lack seriousness. It can also lead to multiple relationships or flirting with random people. There is lot of changes post marriage such as moving to a new city or even country. There can be significant real estate transactions leading to profit.

4th House

This is one of the best placements as 4th house signifies domestic life and marriage is about that - creating a nest together. There is significant gain of fixed assets post marriage such as a property, car and other comforts. In case of affliction the partner may dislike one's family or mother in particular. The partner can be someone you are familiar with or who grew up in the same locality as you did may be even family friends. There is also a possibility of the partner doing some home business or related to real estate.

5th House

I know many people rave about this placement but don't get me wrong- it can be really troublesome. You may date a lot of people but still remain unmarried after a certain age. In case of afflictions none of the love affairs materialize into commitment. Sometimes the person may embrace a monastic life if the planets are highly dignified or if the 12th lord is also involved. Love may be successful at times if other factors are supportive and indicates a deepfelt connection with the partner. The partner can also be prone to affairs in case of afflictions. Also, afflictions may deny the birth of children to the couple or delay them.

6th House

I personally don't like this placement for it brings many conflicts within the relationship. The partner may be too much into work or may dislike having sex. The partner may be unable to perform in the bed too or have other health problems that restrict the sexual life. Sometimes these couples have sex only to have children and then the romance literally dies out. Positively it can mean prosperity at a foreign land post marriage and the partner having a strong career. This can easily indicate divorce if there is another malefic in 7th house.

7th House

This placement depends on the planet involved. For most rising signs this placement could give some issues especially if planets involved are Mars/Saturn/Jupiter. Mercury and Venus can mean more than one marriage but is usually happy. I don't see many happy couples especially Taurus, Libra, Virgo, Gemini risings. The partner can have very strong traits of the planet that's in the 7th house for good or bad.

8th House

Let's be honest. This placement can be really difficult if other factors are not supportive. The marriage could easily break. This shows a past left karmic debt related to marriage. The partner's health or longevity could be at risk too. There can be arguments over joint assets and the marriage may be done for money or just sex. The partner can be a medical professional researcher or an occultist.

9th House

This is a good placement but can also signify multiple marriages especially if 8th house is afflicted or Mercury is involved. it indicates marriage to someone culturally different to you. In some cases, you may marry even a mentor or someone quite elder to you. You are likely to meet life partner at college or when you travel somewhere. You may meet through internet too. There may be religious differences with your partner. You and partner can have an interest in travelling or spirituality. The partner can be a lawyer or teacher.

10th House

Here the marriage changes one's career path. Your partner motivates you to achieve more or they themselves can be very ambitious. in case of serious afflictions, it indicates workplace affairs or affairs with the boss. The partner may be close to their family or mother especially. The partner may change their careers often too. The partner takes the major decisions and hence may be superior to you. The partner can also be of a higher status at the time of marriage.

11th House

This is a friendly placement. Both the partners are fully familiar with each other, may be they could be friends turned into lovers. The partner has a huge social circle and can be in the field of IT or technology and hence a high salary as well. There can be change of countries post marriage as 11th house is 8th from 4th house and hence they may leave the home country and settle abroad.

12th House

This is a deep soulmate type relationship. There is a significant past life connect with the spouse. In case of benefics the relationship will be deep, spiritual and the partners are mutually supportive. In case of malefics, there may be possibility for affairs for either person or the person may marry another secretly even continuing the first marriage. The couples could travel abroad or the partner travels and thus the person too accompanies. Sometimes, the person may forego marriage completely living a life of recluse.

For Relationship Readings DM

[nightbunnysong]

A detailed look at the physical and neurological impact of prolonged screen exposure

Social media is quietly reprogramming your brain, and the effects are more harmful than you think. The endless stream of content from platforms like TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram is eroding your mental health, weakening your focus, and impacting your physical well-being in ways you may not yet notice.

Neurological Effects

DOPAMINE DYSREGULATION AND BRAIN REWIRING

At the core of social media's addictive power is the brain’s reward system, particularly the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine is responsible for motivating behaviors that lead to rewards, reinforcing actions that give us pleasure. Every time a user receives a like, view, or comment, it triggers a dopamine release, creating a brief feeling of satisfaction and reinforcing the desire to engage more. The problem is that social media platforms are designed to exploit this system by providing a continuous cycle of rewards. This constant stimulation has several neurological consequences:

1. Dopamine desensitization and addiction

With frequent social media use, the brain begins to expect regular dopamine spikes. Over time, it becomes desensitized to lower levels of dopamine, which means users need increasingly larger amounts of stimulation to feel the same level of pleasure. This is the same process seen in substance addiction, where overexposure to a drug alters brain chemistry, leading to cravings and compulsive use.

A study published in the journal Behavioral Brain Research (2019) found that excessive use of digital devices, including social media, leads to a reduction in dopamine receptor sensitivity. This results in users experiencing anhedonia, or the inability to feel pleasure from activities that would normally be enjoyable, such as face-to-face interactions or hobbies. The compulsive use of social media thus becomes a form of behavioral addiction that mimics the same pathways as drug addiction.

2. Reduced gray matter in key brain areas

Excessive use of social media also affects the brain structurally. Research indicates that prolonged social media engagement can lead to a reduction in gray matter in areas associated with emotional regulation, decision-making, and impulse control. A 2018 study published in the journal NeuroImage revealed that individuals who spend an excessive amount of time on their smartphones had reduced gray matter in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) and the prefrontal cortex (PFC). These brain regions are critical for functions such as attention, emotion regulation, and impulse control.

Over time, this shrinkage can impair one’s ability to concentrate, control impulses, and make decisions, making it harder to disengage from the social media feedback loop. This contributes to attention-deficit symptoms and may even lead to cognitive impairments in the long term.

3. Fragmented attention and reduced memory consolidation

The rapid-fire nature of short-form content, such as YouTube Shorts and TikTok videos, conditions the brain to expect fast, high-intensity stimulation. This can lead to fragmented attention, where the brain becomes accustomed to quickly switching between tasks or pieces of information. A 2020 study published in the journal Nature Communications found that frequent multitasking, such as switching between apps or scrolling through social media, reduces the brain's ability to focus on a single task for an extended period. This weakens the brain's capacity for deep work, which requires sustained attention and focus over long periods.

Moreover, constant switching between stimuli interferes with memory consolidation, the process by which short-term memories are converted into long-term memories. The hippocampus, the brain region responsible for memory, is less active during multitasking, meaning that people who constantly engage with social media may find it harder to remember information or retain knowledge over time.

Physical Effects

EYE STRAIN, SLEEP DISRUPTION, AND MUSCULOSKELETAL ISSUES

1. Digital eye strain and blue light exposure

Physically, prolonged social media use on screens can lead to Digital Eye Strain (DES), also known as Computer Vision Syndrome (CVS). This condition results from focusing on a digital screen for extended periods, causing symptoms such as dry eyes, blurred vision, headaches, and difficulty focusing. According to the American Optometric Association, more than 50% of computer users experience symptoms of DES. The problem is exacerbated by the blue light emitted from screens, which can penetrate deep into the eye and cause damage to the retina over time.

Blue light also suppresses the production of melatonin, the hormone responsible for regulating the sleep-wake cycle. Exposure to blue light during the evening can disrupt the body's circadian rhythm, making it harder to fall asleep and leading to poor sleep quality. A study published in the journal Sleep Medicine (2019) found that individuals exposed to blue light for just two hours before bed experienced reduced sleep duration and lower-quality sleep, with significant impairments in cognitive functioning the following day.

2. "Text Neck" and musculoskeletal problems

Constant smartphone use also impacts posture and musculoskeletal health. The repetitive motion of looking down at a phone for long periods places significant strain on the neck and upper back, leading to a condition known as text neck. In this position, the head tilts forward, which increases the load on the cervical spine. A 2014 study in Surgical Technology International found that tilting the head forward by just 45 degrees places the equivalent of 22 kilograms of pressure on the neck. Over time, this can lead to chronic neck pain, herniated discs, and other degenerative spinal conditions.

Additionally, prolonged periods of sitting while using digital devices contribute to sedentary behavior, which is linked to an increased risk of obesity, cardiovascular disease, and type 2 diabetes. A study published in The Lancet (2015) concluded that sitting for more than 8 hours per day is associated with a 90% increase in the risk of death from cardiovascular diseases.

Recommendations for Healthy Screen Time

Limiting phone use to a maximum of two hours a day offers numerous benefits for both your mind and body. First, it helps improve sleep quality by reducing blue light exposure, which allows your natural melatonin production to regulate your sleep cycle properly. This leads to deeper, more restful sleep and improved energy levels throughout the day.

Mentally, staying under the two-hour mark preserves your focus and cognitive function by preventing the brain from becoming dependent on constant, fragmented bursts of information. It encourages longer attention spans and better memory retention. Emotionally, reducing phone time lowers the risk of anxiety and depression by minimizing social comparison and the pressures of being constantly connected.

Other tips

1. Practice the 20-20-20 rule: Every 20 minutes, take a 20-second break and look at something 20 feet away to reduce eye strain.

2. Set time limits: Use smartphone apps or built-in screen time trackers to limit your usage of social media.

3. Blue Light Filters: Activate night mode on your devices or use apps that reduce blue light exposure, especially during the evening.

4. Posture Awareness: Keep screens at eye level to prevent text neck, and use ergonomic chairs to support your back.

5. Digital detox: Regularly schedule periods of no screen time, such as during meals or weekends.

[photos from Pinterest]

[the-bi-space-ace]

Clone Cuddle Headcanons

Wrecker is the biggest cuddle bug idk what to tell you. He does run hot however. The amount of times whoever he’s cuddling with wakes up sweating and a thousand degrees is unbelievable. He’s real great to lay on top of though. Right on top. Get up there.

Crosshair is a surprising confusing individual and I keep looking at him in disbelief. He’s not averse to touch but he does want to be the one to initiate it. Especially cuddling. He will sit by himself in silence and then randomly walk up and just plop on top of whoever he’s chosen. They then have to lay there and let him choose the position, the blanket situation, the temperature, etc. otherwise he’ll leave. Cat rules.*

Tech isn’t huge on cuddling either but is willing to not be the initiator if they also respect whatever activity he is doing. If he’s sitting working on a project he will allow one of them to lay their head in his lap or wrap around him as long as they aren’t in the way. He may even play with their hair or rub their backs absentmindedly.

Echo goes through phases. He wants to be touched but not all the time and sometimes he really hates it and other times he really craves it. It’s mainly important to either ask first or let him ask. He likes to sleep near another person and will choose someone to latch on to if he’s in a cuddling mood. Sometimes he literally can’t get enough physical contact to feel comfortable and it drives him up a wall. (Can I please suggest that part of the reason Hunter touches his shoulder so often is bc of those moods where Echo legitimately can’t get enough physical touch. I just think that would be a nice thought.) He feels best when he gets to hold someone else and he is especially partial to Wrecker who not only keeps him warm but also is pretty willing to switch the cuddling up at any point. Good man.

Hunter! Hunter here! Really enjoys a good cuddle! Loves his back scratched or his hair played with! He has passed out on top of the other batchers before and woken up two hours later not knowing where tf he is. He also appreciates a good weight on him so his preferred position if he’s holding somebody is on his back with the other person laying their head on his chest. He runs warm so he’s a good option for the cold nights.

Fives loves everyone’s personal space. Especially Echo’s. He is a cuddle while sleeping type of guy. No need to feel weird about asking him for a cuddle he’s down for it. If anyone sits on the edge of his bed while he’s trying to sleep he rolls over and wraps his arms around their waist and hugs them. Had so much practice at comfort when he was a cadet that it is second nature for him. When he joined the 501st he got real protective of the shinies so they sought him out often when they needed support.

Rex does like a good cuddle but only with specific people. Doesn’t really want to be touched by people he doesn’t know well. Is honestly more accustomed to touch if it’s playful but again. Usually with people he knows well. Likes to lay his head in people’s laps or let them fall asleep on him. Is not too hot or too cold. Got used to the dominos crawling into his bunk while he was asleep and had to adapt to them being clingy on bad days. Got used to it and ended up missing when they weren’t there. Cody calls him a softie. Says they ruined him forever. He gets so grumpy back.

Cody. This man. Idk why but I always headcanon him as a physical touch kind of guy. Doesn’t like overly fond affection in public spaces but is real affectionate in private. Like Rex he’s more comfortable with the playful affection but there’s always a spot in his bed if someone needs it. He’s rarely sleeping through the night anyway. Might as well be the support system for those who need it. More accustom to holding hands honestly. It’s quiet it’s easy he can still use his datapad while he holds someone’s hand.

*I have a cute addition which is that the first time Crosshair plopped down and decided Echo was going to be his cuddle target Echo was in the middle of something and Crosshair just threw whatever Echo was working on aside and laid his head in Echo’s lap while this man just looked at the rest of the batch like ‘help?!? He’s never done this before am I in danger? What do I do!?!’ And everyone else was just like ‘you’re fine just be normal about it’ and after a few minutes of silence he just plopped his hand on Crosshair’s head and that’s how they both accidentally took a three hour nap and woke up disoriented with aching necks.

[gorgonwrites]

neuvillette headcanons

NSFW below the cut! minors DNI. 18+

author's note: ME AND BESTIE BACK AT IT AGAIN! oh gods, this beautiful dragon man. he deserves everything and then even more. my best friend and i are probably going to do more headcanons for more genshin characters, so expect those from me soon. enjoy! <3

So shy and timid when it comes to showing affection for another person. He’s always learning, but love is a foreign feeling to him. 

We already know it, but the man is the most respectful damn gentleman you’d ever find. Always opens doors for his partner, has his hand on the small of their back to guide them, and he offers his arm when out walking. He speaks gently, and is an excellent listener.

Has a serious shrimp allergy. He doesn’t feel like he’s missing much, though.

He hates being the center of attention, and it can even cause some mild anxiety if he’s caught off guard. Sure, he’s the Iudex and Sovereign of Fontaine, but if he’s not in the courtroom don’t expect him to draw attention to himself. 

Always sneezes in threes–  no more, no less. He has a dedicated handkerchief he carries with him everywhere to cover his mouth, and is always as quiet as possible as to not draw attention to it. If he’s in court and it happens, the entire audience blesses him. He used to ignore it, but he’s grown quite fond of the gesture and takes it as a small human act of kindness. As a result, if he’s ever in earshot when someone else sneezes he’s the first one to give them a blessing. He never skips over an opportunity to sow the seeds of kindness wherever he goes.

He’s learning how to cook. Not horrible at it, but he loves the idea of food inspiring community. He dreams of gathering the people he cares about most and cooking them all a yummy meal one day.

Can sing! And has such a pretty voice. He also has an affinity for most musical instruments he picks up. He’s quite used to the melusines asking him to sing them to sleep. 

Hardly ever gets sick (he does get stress fevers quite easily), but is used to caring for himself if he needs to. The first time he lets his partner care for him when he’s ill, he almost chokes on the vulnerability that starts to creep out of his bones.

Loves his hair being brushed or played with. This is another instance where he begins to feel vulnerable– he tries to avoid the feeling the best he can, but as he grows comfortable with his partner, he allows the feeling to make a permanent home in his chest. 

He loves being held. Even as big as he is, nothing stops him from curling up into his partner's arms to let his work fade away from his whirling thoughts. He has to grow accustomed to the closeness at first, but soon he can’t end a single day without at least having a few quiet moments in his partner’s embrace.

Receiving love, Neuvillette needs physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. He gives words of affirmation and acts of service to show his love. 

nsfw below <3

Has a beautiful blue marking between his belly button and his cocks that depicts his sovereign symbol.  

Neuvi’s ears, neck, and horns are extremely sensitive. Don’t mess with them unless you’re ready to have your brains fucked out. 

Has a praise kink (giving and receiving). Any kind of encouragement goes straight to his dicks. 

On that note- he absolutely has more than one cock. He’s usually so gentle, but if he’s worked into a frenzy he might just try to shove both cocks in at once. 

Has a rut cycle. When he’s not in his rut, he’s an incredibly soft lover. When he IS in his rut, don’t expect to be able to walk anywhere for a few days once his rut is over. 

Has a mild breeding kink. Sometimes he can’t help but think about his partner big and round with his child and it quite literally fries his brain a bit when he thinks too much about it. 

Aftercare once his rut is over is GOD TIER. Hot bubble baths, hair washing, massages, snacks, cuddles. The WORKS. He takes his time soothing his partners after completely wrecking them. 

ASS MAN!!! 

Has a serious overstim kink, both giving and receiving. One orgasm is simply just never enough (or two, or three, or four…). 

Is almost always dominant in his sexual encounters. He can be rough, yes, but he’s never mean. Think pleasure dom or service top. 

Has a body worship kink. He thinks humans are beautiful creatures and always wants to explore every inch of his partners when he can. 

Loves going down on his partner– probably his favorite thing ever after discovering it. 

TANTRIC SEX

Has a tail that occasionally makes an appearance if he gets too worked up. He WILL use it to fuck his partner silly. 

BITING. He loves leaving bites anywhere he can, even if no one else can see them. 

Will only take one life partner, though he may play with other people if allowed. Once he’s formed the bond with his life partner, they won’t ever be replaced. 

Will only allow his life partner to dom him. If he’s ever topped or dommed, it's a deliberate act of giving away his power to someone he trusts completely. These are some of the rarest moments where he willingly lets his worries and vulnerability spill out, and those moments are reserved for one person only. 

in conclusion, he is quite literally the best man ever.

[miss-hyoko]

your "Privileged One" fic is so cute!! i can't help but think though, what if the childhood friend is physically affectionate? 🤔 (would they blush, LOL)

"We're sorry for the wait, dear customer. Your order of [Let Me Hug You!] gado-gado is now served. Tuck in and savor every flavor. If there's anything else we can assist you with, please feel free to reach out."

Let Me Hug You!

Character(s): Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus

Summary: His childhood friend is physically affectionate person

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, pure fluff, platonic but can be read as romantic, reader is NOT Yuu, childhood friends, cute relationship between childhood friends, a hint of him having a crush on you if you squint

Note: Yay~ another childhood friends trope to deliver. Thank you for the amazing request, anon. I hope you like this. If there are any typos or grammar errors, please don't hesitate to let me know.

1. Riddle Rosehearts

The first time you tried to be physically affectionate with Riddle when you both were kids, he was very startled to the point he straight-out jumped away from you like a scared cat. With eyes wide open, it took little Riddle at least a minute to process what had just happened. And when everything finally clicked, a deep blush crept up his cheeks, tinting them a vibrant shade of red. Then, just like a defenseless maiden on the verge of being violated, Riddle screamed loudly while accusing you of being rude.

Although his words sounded harsh, we all know Riddle didn't mean any of it. He just didn't know how to respond because this whole affection thing is quite new to him. Theoretically, he knows what affection is. But practically? He had never experienced it. At least, until you entered his life. It was kind of awkward at first, but over time, Riddle would eventually get used to being on the receiving end of your affection.

After the two of you were successfully accepted into NRC, away from Riddle's mother's strict tutelage, you became even more open with your affection towards Riddle. And although Riddle often scolded you about how you should behave appropriately as a student of NRC, he was secretly pleased by the fact that now he could finally relish himself in your affections without needing to worry about his mother's opinion.

However, no matter how much he liked being showered by your attention, Riddle was still a bit against you being affectionate with him in public. Though, as long as it wasn't too intimate to the point of attracting people's attention, he didn't mind a little act of affection, such as: holding hands, hugging, and a quick kiss on the cheek. If later anyone was stupid enough to mention how red his face was, then Riddle would directly get their head beheaded with zero hesitation.

Among the many gestures of affection you gave him, Riddle liked your temple massage the best. The way your hands move gently on his tight muscles while applying the right pressure never fails to make him relax both his body and mind, releasing the pent-up tension from his body. Enjoying your touch, Riddle sometimes unconsciously falls asleep during the massage session, showing how comfortable he could be with you around him.

2. Leona Kingscholar

Ever since he was little, Leona never liked the idea of having any form of contact with other people, especially ones that included direct touch. So, whenever you try to be affectionate with him, an annoyed frown will make its way to his forehead as he continuously moves to avoid your hug attack with incredible agility. Only after you're too tired to move would Leona finally stop avoiding you and tell you to stop acting affectionately with him since it greatly disgusts him.

Despite saying that, Leona ultimately caved in and allowed you to do whatever you wanted because his heart had a soft spot for you. He told himself many times that he only tolerated your touchy-feely behavior because you're his childhood friend. However, he later became overly accustomed to it to the point he would find it strange if you didn't come to give him affection annoy him, even if only for a day.

In school, many NRC students often saw you hanging out with Leona. No one knows whether you're sticking to him or he's sticking to you, but one thing's for sure; Leona didn't like being disturbed when he was together with you. Those who dared to approach would surely be treated like an enemy by him. With eyes glaring daggers at them, he silently mouthed the words 'fuck off' as a warning to not take another step forward.

Leona never gave a fuck about other people's opinions of him; thus, he doesn't really mind if you're being affectionate with him in public. And even if he did complain, you don't need to take it seriously since it was probably just him being his usual cranky self. Another possible reason may be because Leona's aware of the numerous pairs of eyes focusing on you two, and he doesn't want you to be the subject of negative gossip. Well, even if there are indeed some bad rumors about you, you don't have to worry since he'll take care of it for you. Such a good friend he is, eh?

It's already common knowledge around the school that Leona often used his childhood friend as his personal pillow, so it's not really a surprise to know that his favorite form of affection is cuddling with you while sleeping. The warmth emanating from your body seeps into Leona's skin, reassuring him that you're still by his side. All the while, your steady heartbeat continues to be a constant reminder of your presence.

3. Azul Ashengrotto

The moment you first attempted to express your affection towards Azul with a hug during your childhood, he instantly froze in his place; mouth hung agape and his face flushed a deep shade of red. Worriedly, you tried to touch him to bring him back to reality, but he let out a sudden scream and swiftly swam away to hide in his octopus pot.

Azul is not a stranger to affection, all thanks to his mother who likes to pamper him with kisses. Even so, receiving it from someone outside the family was a brand-new experience for him. Initially, he won't stop fidgeting whenever you try to give him affection. But soon enough, he learned to relax and even reciprocate it, albeit awkwardly. Azul may not openly show it, but he loves the affection you give him and he looks forward to it every day.

Upon enrolling at NRC, Azul, with a heavy heart, had to reduce the frequency of being affectionate with you since he had a professional image to maintain, much to both your and his dismay. He had grown accustomed to being showered with your affection, and now he must stop receiving it? Azul bawled his eyes out in his heart.

Fortunately for him, you still continue to give him your affections every day like usual. Although not as often as before, because you also considered the persona he had worked so hard to create, Azul is still happy to have his daily dose of affection. If other people were nearby, Azul's cheeks would be heating up from embarrassment and he lightly reprimanded you to compose yourself. But who will take his words seriously when he makes little to no effort to push you away.

Surprisingly, Azul's favorite form of affection was when you touch his cheek; smoothing it, pinching it gently, or squeezing it. He loved the way your hand felt against his skin—warm and reassuring. It made him feel special, like he was the only one in your world. And to top it off, you always cooed sweet nothings whenever you did it, which could make Azul feel a bit bashful. But… as long as it's you, Azul won't fight back.

4. Kalim Al Asim

Ever since you were little, you had a unique habit of tackle hugging Kalim every time you two met each other. At first, Kalim was taken by surprise, but then he would quickly reciprocate the hug with an even tighter embrace while bursting into hearty laughter. If it weren't for someone eventually intervening and separating the two of you, there's no doubt that you and Kalim won't end the hug anytime soon.

Being a naturally affectionate person himself, Kalim always welcomed your displays of affection with open arms. In fact, he wholeheartedly encouraged you to express your affection as frequently as you pleased because he's more than ready to receive it with arms open wide.Growing up, the intimacy between the two of you has not diminished even a bit. Instead, it increased to the point that people often misunderstood the relationship between you and Kalim. Kalim himself doesn't find anything unusual about his interactions with you. After all, you and he are best friends, so isn't it natural for you to love each other?

Whenever and wherever, Kalim had no reservations about displaying his affection for you in public. If you happen to pass each other in the hallway and countless eyes are watching, Kalim will still rush to give you a warna hug and a quick peck on the cheek. With a gleam in his eyes, he would then present his cheek to you, hoping you would reciprocate the gesture.

Out of the many affections you have given him, the one Kalim loves the most is your embrace. No matter how often you hug him, Kalim will never get tired of it. Wrapping his two arms around your body, Kalim basks himself in the warmth and comfort of your embrace. For him, there existed no greater place than the sanctuary of your loving arms.

5. Vil Schoenheit

Besides the rosy hues that grace his cheeks, little Vil doesn't show any excessive reactions whenever you're physically affectionate with him. He simply reprimanded you for startling him and then telling you to let him know in advance so he won't be caught off guard next time. All in all, he doesn't mind if you want to be physically affectionate with him.

When he was younger, Vil adorned himself with only the lightest touch of makeup, so he had no problem with you touching or even kissing his face. If it were anyone else, Vil would surely not grant them such privilege. But because you're his childhood friend, you're the only exception.

As he grew older and began to wear makeup more often, Vil started prohibiting you from casually touching him like before. Hugging and holding hands is still tolerable, but touching or kissing his face is only allowed when he's not wearing makeup. Don't misunderstand; Vil still cherishes all the affection you give him, yet his job as a public figure demands him to appear perfect at all times. But don't worry, he's still your Vil Schoenheit in private.

Being both a model and an actor means that Vil's every move is watched by the media and the public eye. Therefore, he strongly forbids you from being affectionate with him in public. He doesn't care if there are negative rumors that may tarnish his reputation; instead, he's more concerned about your life being disturbed by his fans.

When the day is almost over, Vil usually allows you to play with his hair for a while before he starts his nightly routine. He likes feeling your fingers running through his locks, gently caressing them with utmost care. Vil wants to let you know that he's not that fragile, but at the end of the day, he chooses to remain silent and enjoy the affection you give him with a faint smile.

6. Idia Shroud

Whenever you try to get physically affectionate with little Idia, there are always four possible reactions he can give: he might let out a loud shriek, reflexively dodge you, become a stuttering mess, or even do all three in succession.

Let's be real; Idia wasn't a big fan of physical contact with other people. But since it's you, someone he holds dear along with Ortho, he's willing to make a little exception. It took him a while to get used to your touch, but now, when you try to be affectionate with him, he will only get slightly startled with a light blush spreading across his cheeks.

During your time at NRC, you can't be all touchy-feely with Idia as often as before because he rarely shows up in person, opting to send his tablet to fulfill his stead. That's why, every time school is over, you head straight to his room and cling to him like a koala. Although a little flustered, Idia doesn't shy away from your touch; he just asks you to move a bit so he can continue playing his game.

Idia strongly dislikes being affectionate in front of many people and being the center of attention. He'd much rather enjoy your company and affection in the privacy of his room. Plus, being stared at by many people while receiving your affection would distract him from fully savoring the moment.

Idia often tells himself that he's not the biggest fan of physical affection and that he's just getting used to you being touchy-feely. But when you lean against his side, resting your head on his shoulder, Idia will unconsciously lean back on you, savoring the warmth of your presence. At that moment, time seems to slow down as he feels the gentle rhythm of your breath and the comforting weight of your head against him. A small, genuine smile forms on his lips, as if your touch has unlocked his hidden vulnerability and he finds solace in your presence.

7. Malleus Draconia

When you first give little Malleus a physical affection in the form of a hug, he is taken aback for a few seconds before a small smile adorns his slightly blushing face. Without hesitating, Malleus would take your hand into his and ask you to repeat what you just did earlier, eyes sparkling with excitement as he waited for you to hug him again.

Being the crown prince of the Briar Valley, Malleus was both respected and feared, causing others to maintain a cautious distance from him. In the big palace he called home, Malleus always felt lonely all by himself. So when you entered his gloomy life and gave him the affection he had always craved, Malleus couldn't help but become attached to you. As a young fae, he was quite clingy back then, often asking you to hold his hand, hug him, and occasionally requesting a kiss on his cheek.

The NRC students, no matter how frequently they witnessed it, forever found themselves astounded when they caught sight of you randomly giving the legendary Malleus Draconia a surprise hug from behind. What made it even more remarkable was that Malleus himself didn't display any sign of displeasure. On the contrary, a gentle smile graced his lips as he playfully pinched your nose, revealing his enjoyment of your endearing acts. It was evident that he welcomed your playful gestures and had no intention of putting an end to them.

If you choose to shower Malleus with affection in the presence of others, rest assured that he will not harbor any anger or annoyance. Instead, a light chuckle would escape his lips as he let you do as you please. By demonstrating your affection for one another, Malleus believes it lets people know that you and him have a very good relationship that was built on a strong foundation of trust and affection.

It's not wrong to say that Malleus enjoys holding hands with you wherever you both go, but if he had to choose, Malleus prefers it more when you play with his hands. Whether it's comparing the size of your hands, tracing the lines on his palm, or simply interlocking your fingers together. Through these seemingly simple gestures, Malleus discovers an unparalleled sense of happiness. Each touch, each moment of connection, carries a profound significance for him, serving as a testament to the depth of your bond together.

[iggy5055]

Yandere Emperor Darth Vader X reader Part 3

Vader uncrispy

Summary: (Y/N) lands on Coruscant, the foreign planet and giant palace that was now her home being a bit too much at first. Vader, refusing to let his love suffer, shows her something that helps her adjust as they grow closer. 

Warning: Yandere, manipulation, obsession, age gap.

________________________

"Welcome to your new home my Empress."

I couldn't believe my eyes, my jaw was nearly on the floor. I knew Coruscant was big, considering there were over several trillion people who lived there, but this was just outrageous.

It was a beautiful planet, half of it bathed in artificial light and the other shining in sunlight. On one side I could see lights of all different colors from the never-ending city making it glow beautifully. On the other side that still had daylight I could see a shining light from the sun reflecting off all the beautiful shiny buildings that covered the entirety of the surface. 

I had jolted back into Anakin when we came out of hyperspace. The sudden jolt caused my accustomed legs to falter, my knees almost giving out on me. Anakin's arms were still wrapped around me securely keeping me from falling as I thanked myself for not putting on the heels, my back was tightly pressed into his front. I couldn't help but flinch a little as the little box on his chest plate dug a little too harshly into my back but I didn't say anything. 

I Find myself ignoring the sharp pain as nervousness came to the forefront of my brain. The reality of my situation suddenly being dropped on me. This whole time I have been worried about the emperor himself, and while I still am, I realized what position his affection puts me in. the thought making me shake a little. 

I look up at Anakin. All I could see was the dark red almost black lenses that covered his amber eyes. The Emperor of the galaxy really was intimidating in full armor that's for sure. It made sense though, someone with so much power was bound to be very intimidating, he had many subjects to lord over, I can understand why he would want some anonymity. But I knew I was safe in his arms, no matter how scary he looked but I also knew I was woefully unprepared for what was about to happen and the new life i was about to enter. 

________________________

I could feel her nervousness seeing me in my full armor but also at the new life that was in front of her. I didn't like seeing her so tense, but she would have to get used to it. As much as I wish she could alway gaze up into my eyes for comfort, that was a privilege only my love would ever have, so it was a comfort she only got to have when we were alone. 

I knew adjusting to her new life would scare her and I wish I could comfort her properly, the way I wanted to, my skin on hers, but it would have to wait. I started to rub my leather clad thumbs across her shoulder and made sure not to squeeze her middle too much with my other hand as I counted the seconds till I got her alone. 

She stared back at me with a nervous look on her beautiful little face. I leaned down again, whispering into her ear not wanting to scare her anymore, just sticking to talking in a low voice so as not to frazzle her anymore. 

"When we land I'll show you your new home, my love. I promise you'll love it."

She seemed to relax at my words, nodding her head and giving me a slight smile. My heart melted at the sight of her. I continued to massage her shoulder and give her a little squeeze with my arm wrapped around her middle giving her a subtle hug. I loved her more than anything but I still needed to be seen as an intimidating leader. But at the same time holding her close to me told everyone else to stay away from her.

Wanting to give her as much physical contact as I could give her, I subtly pulled her closer to my chest only to feel her flinch as I did, a grimace flashing over her soft features. I could feel a pang of pain coming from her throught the force. I gave her a little once over but couldn't see anything wrong with my love.

"What's wrong, my love? Why are you hurting?"

She looks back up at me after a moment, her face still twisted in discomfort but also confusion as she tries to figure out how I knew. I couldn't help the smirk that made its way onto my lips at her adorable face.

"T-the thing o-on your chest is d-digging into m-my back."

I immediately loosen my grip on her significantly, moving my hand that was on her stomach to her other shoulder looking down to where my chest computer rested. It was what circulated clean air into the suit to let me breathe. I hadn't even thought about it digging into her poor delicate skin. I turned her around so she would be facing me and leaned my head down and gently rested my masks forehead onto the top of her head as a sort of kiss in lue of the real thing. As much as I didn't want to show weakness in public I needed to apologize to my love, even if it wasn't as intimate as I would like

"My apologies, my love I hadn't realized."

She smiles at me again, the discomfort no longer plaguing her expression. She opens her mouth to say something but was interrupted when Captain Shaef Corssin came over to us interrupting her.

"We are starting our descent my Lord, we wi--"

He was cut off when I removed one of my hands from my loves shoulders, my hand forming a pincer, holding him up and choking him as he hung in the air. My Empress, the sweet soul she was, heard the sound of his pathetic choking and attempts to beg for his life and tried to turn around to see the source of the noise. 

I gently wrapped my remaining arm around both her shoulders, holding her to my chest face first making sure the computer wasn't hurting her but keeping her in place at the same time, ensuring she didn't catch sight of the pathetic fool behind her. She tried to turn her head but my use of the force preventing her from turning her head. 

She looked up at me innocently after a few failed attempts at turning her head to the sound of the dying man quickly realizing something wouldn't let her, the look on her face making me want to kiss her non-stop.

'What were you going to say my Empress?'

She blushed a little at her new title, she must have been in too much shock earlier to realize I had already called her that. 

"It’s fine”

As much as I wished she could see the smile that formed on my face at her words, I was a little grateful for the mask at that moment. My love made my cold heart melt, a loving smile stretching across my face as it did. As much as I loved her I hated how soft she made me in her presence. That softness was only for her.

After a minute of staring down loving at my little girl, my smile turned into a harsh scowl as I stood straight once more keeping my love close. Her small hands had made their way up to rest on my chest, giving her a buffer between my hard armor and her fragile skin.

"Now. What were you saying, Captain." 

My voice was full of malice, as I released the now blue tinted man to the cold steel floor of the bridge. Making sure my love wasn't able to turn around with my other hand now finding purchase on the back of her head.

 I regretted that my love had to hear me speak with so much anger in my voice so soon but I would be sure to make it up to her later. 

I knew she would hear me talk like that to our subjects and soldiers eventually and I knew that one day she would see me kill someone, but I wouldn't let her see that just yet. She needed to feel safe in my presence no matter what and that would take time. I wanted to covet her innocence as long as humanly possible. 

The captain was now on his knees, his hand gripping his neck as he coughed and sputtered trying to gather his bearings. I was beginning to lose my patience.

"W-we will land in t-ten minutes m-my lord."

I shoo him away and look back down at my little love. I card my fingers through her soft hair, stroking her head gently. I could feel her confusion with regards to what just happened, only being able to hear the choking of a man and then a hard thump from behind her. I kept my movements soft and slow, despite the brave face she was wearing I could feel her anxiousness.

I continued to caress her and gently tell her about Coruscant in a low soft voice telling her how wonderful her new life would be till we touched down on said new home.

The Executor landed with a harsh hump, for someone like me I didn't even notice it anymore, having been on star ships for most of my life but for someone like my love, who had never been on a ship in her life her first landing felt harsh. Any jolt or thump, any sudden noise made her jump, flinch or gasp as the ship began to decompress and get ready for offloading. 

Regardless of her being in my arms I felt my anger begin to boil over. My love was clearly overstimulated. All these new things hitting her all at once and yet I couldn't do anything about it but wait for the startling ordeal to be over and take her to our room so she could calm down in my arms, safe and sound. For once I found myself seething at the armor encasing me, the thing preventing me from comforting my love properly. Unable to ground her with the touch of my skin. 

“Come my love, it is time to show you your new home.”

She looks up at me with big eyes. 

When we finally were secure in the hanger and ready to start unloading everything (Y/N) was shaking like a leafs. Her eyes were closed and she was clutching her hands together so tightly they were snow white. Her head was buried into my chest despite how uncomfortable of a position it is.

I stand straight and look out the bridge window. It was already dark, if she had a normal day she would probably be heading to bed soon, but she had just woken up a few minutes ago. I will show her around our chambers, maybe show her the throne room and my office so that she could find me when she needed, and end the tour by showing her the garden. Some of the plants glow in the dark, I'm sure she'll like them. 

I continue to card my fingers through her hair as she shakes in my arms. 

"Come, little star. Let me show you to our room. The palace isn't far, You can rest soon."

She doesn't lift her head from my chest but she does nod. Oh what I wouldn't give to take off all this cumbersome armor and hold her in my arms, kissing her till my lips fall off and hers a sweetly swollen and puffy. 

I slowly drag my hands from her hair back down to her shoulders and turn both of us around to the doors. No one dared to speak a word. All of them keeping their heads down not daring to look at me or their new Empress. I would have to hold a ball or a banquet of some kind and a coronation to crown her as the Empress of the galaxy but that would come after she grows custom to me and we get married. Rumors will spread by then so everyone will know who she is and who she belongs to. So the ceremonies will really all just be for show.

I led her out of the hangar and onto a private hover car to take her home. We were completely alone now with no chance of us being seen so I pulled her close and allowed her to curl up into my lap. Once again we sat in silence as she began to breathe a little easier. I gave her a little drink that she was slowly nursing on. I gently rubbed up and down her soft exposed back. Most of her clothes that I got her were revealing but not slutty. It was perfect for me to have some kind of skin contact in public while not exposing too much to others. 

It took me a while to figure out what clothes would work but these really were perfect. All her clothes had open backs with a kind of cap of some kind to both match mine and let me have easy contact on her but she isn't exposed to any other eyes. However the plunge neckline on her clothes that exposed her tits did irk me a bit but at the same time I couldn't help but enjoy the little liberty.

She had little goosebumps all over her skin. I knew she was a little cold but at the same time it made her more willing to cuddle up to me for warmth, all thought I will admit that my suit doesn't give much warmth. 

I gaze out the window into the brightly lit night. You could see the Coruscant palace now in all its glory.

I tap (Y/N) on her shoulder. She shyly looks up at me with her big doe eyes silently waiting for me to tell her what I wanted.

"Look over there, my love. Your new home."

She looks over to the window at the place. Her jaw nearly hit the floor. She had such an amazed look on her face. She has mostly been looking down in her lap or at her drink so she hadn't really taken a moment to look at Coruscant at all. I imagine she hadn't seen buildings as big as this in her life. I doubt she had even thought that building so big was even possible. 

I kept gazing down at her and her adorable look of shock and amassment. She was so cute I wanted to burn the look into my memory.

_____________________

I couldn't believe my eyes. Never in my life had I thought someplace like this could exist. The lights were extravagant. Everything was extravagant. 

My breathing got a little heavy. Suddenly this whole situation hit me. My new home, my new life. My smile started to drop, My hands started to shake. I didn't know how to react. This was all too much. 

I felt Anakin pull me closer to himself, if that was even possible. His hands slowly moved over to the drink in my hand, gently taking it out and placing it on a little table in the hover car. Even the car itself was ridiculously fancy. I mean who has ever heard of a little table in a car. 

He lifted his hand up to my face. Cupping my cheeks and guiding my head into his shoulder, taking my vision away from the city. In all honesty his shoulder wasn't very comfortable because of his armor but even with the uncomfortable armor digging into my cheek the gesture was still comforting. 

I closed my eyes. Slowly gathering my thoughts and trying to get everything straight. I understood everything that had happened up till now. My being rescued, the trip to Coruscant and now we are on our way to the Grand Imperial Palace that was now my new home with the Emperor who was now apparently my lover. I understood and now I had everything in order but it was still overwhelming. 

I couldn't help the tears streaming down my face. I let out soft hiccups every now and then as I tried to keep my crying as quiet as possible. 

Anakin was gently carding his gloved hand through my hair quietly cooing at me as I started to slowly calm down. 

"Relax, my love. It's ok. You will be ok. Just breathe with me."

I did my best to follow his breathing. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest throughout his suit. The sound of his breathing helped too.

I wasn't sure how long we had been sitting there but after a while Anakin raised my head to look up at him, or, well, his mask.

"We are here my love."

I looked over to the window again, and sure enough the Palace was there. My breathing was getting a little uneven again. What happened after this? Where do we go? What should I do? I could feel my head fill with a heavy ner painful fog. 

Anakin helped me get out of the hover car but the second my feet touched the ground I felt everything go black.

_________________________

I was a fool, I can't believe I let this happen to my sweet little love. I had overwhelmed her too much, shown her too much at once. Of course she passed out. 

I kept pacing the room around the luxurious bed that me and my love now shared, that she was currently passed out in, with rage. 

I had been so happy, so consumed with my love for her, knowing that soon she would be in my, now our, home and live the most luxurious life imaginable with all the most luxurious things ever known to any spices in the galaxy. She would want for nothing, need for nothing, always safe and loved and cared for in every way imaginable in my arms. But in all that happiness and the distraction of dreaming of the future I would give her I didn't keep my force around her. I wasn't monitoring her as much as I should have been. 

This was my fault. My doing. All because of my carelessness. 

I angrily took off all my armor, throwing it about the dark room. I was sure to close all the blinds once I tucked her into our bed. Once she passed out I caught her before she could fall too far, no part of her ever having the chance to hit the floor before I immediately wrapped her in my force at the sight of her starting to fall. It only made my rage worse. Not at her, never at her, but at myself. I could feel her overwhelming fear, her concern and her nervousness. 

I also felt a horrible headache coming on once she was out cold. The darkness of the room would help, even if it was dark the city lights did plenty to replace the sun and would no doubt still be too bright for her hurting mind. 

My armor was now completely removed, I had on a pair of comfortable loose fitting sleep pants and lose a shirt. Just as I had finished putting away my violently tossed armor in its proper place and gotten a bottle of painkillers and some water to give my love, when she woke up with a whimpering. 

Her face was harshly twisted in a pained expression. Her body was so tight it looked painful. I rushed over and set the cup of water and bottle of painkillers down. I sit down beside her, running my fingers through her soft hair. Gently my knuckles make their way to her cheek, gently guiding them down to her jaw. Her face relaxed some but her body was as tense as ever. 

I felt her mind was in such painful turmoil. Even in her sleep she was hurting so much, so scared, but at my gentle caresses she began to calm a little. I couldn't help the feeling of pride that grew within me knowing my touch made her relax, even just a little. 

After a few moments of my hands caressing her hair and soft skin her beautiful eyes began to flutter open. Her eyes were lidded, trying her hardest to keep them open with all the fog and pain in her mind. Tears started to form her eyes making them shine like crystals and beginning to cascade down her now reddened cheeks like a waterfall. 

"Oh, my love~"

I cooed at her, taking both her cheeks in my hands, caressing her puffy cheeks with my thumbs, gently pressing my forehead to hers as she sobs loudly in my arms.

"It is ok my love, I have you, just relax."

She was shaking like a leaf in my arms, so scared and in so much pain. 

"Its ok, my love~"

I gently sit her up, regardless of her quiet protests, moving behind her and letting her lean back into my warm chest. I reach over for the pills and water. I take out two pills and place them in my hand once again placing down the bottle. 

"Open wide my love, this will make all the pain go away."

She opens without any kind of hesitation. The action makes my heart warm at how completely she trusted me but at the same time it hurts knowing that even with her complete trust I didn't take care of her properly. I hold up the water to her lips as she gulps it down. Once she was done I placed everything down and tilted my head down to her cheek to give her a peck on the corner of her soft lips. 

We sit in silence for a while as she slowly relaxes more and more in my arms as the pain meds start to take effect. I was sure to keep my force around her, being sure to comfort her and ease some of the pain myself. I could tell she wasn't tired anymore even if it was dark. 

After a few minutes of holding her in our bed, she starts to calm, her mind relaxing. Her turmoil calmed significantly. While our room was big it was also pitch black. You could see almost nothing in the room at night and with the blinds drawn like this. Just being in a dark room with nothing to see, nothing to become overwhelmed with, helped her stressed mind.

"How are you feeling now my love?"

She looks up at me with her big eyes, the slight remnants of tears could be seen under her eyes. They were slightly puffy and a little red.

"Better."

I smiled down at her lovingly, Her voice was a little hoarse and it was just nearly above a whisper. All that crying took a clear toll on her.

She was still in stock to an extent but clearly not willing to go to sleep. From the time I took her to now she has been sleeping for a good chunk of that. She couldn't fall asleep even if she wanted to. But that was only her mind. Her body was clearly weak with exhaustion but laying in bed wouldn't do anything for her. 

"How about we get up and get you a little something to eat, then we can go down to the gardens and we will see how you feel after that, Hmm?"

Her eyes were still pretty sluggish, most likely from the pain killers that told have started to take effect, but she nodded and moved to get out of my lap but before she could get too far I pulled her back by her waist and gave her cheek a kiss then stood with my love in my arms. 

"Your body is exhausted, my love."

I started to walk towards the door to our room but despite my words she still squirmed in my arms a little, trying to gently get out of my arms without angering me. I could feel how nervous her mind was to annoy me even if she trusted me. 

Little did she know that nothing she could do could annoy me, that is except from her trying to leave and her hurting herself, but without her memories it's highly unlikely she will try to leave unless it would be to explore which I'll let her do once she's comfortable here, but never without me. And hurting herself, I would never let her do that. Besides she will sparsely ever leave my side. 

"Now now, my love~, let me take care of you. I wouldn't want you to faint again."

I press my lips to the crown of her head, letting them linger there as she stills in my arms, going completely limp as I open the door with the help of the force. 

As I walked over to the dining room I could feel her become completely limp in my arms, her head resting on my bare chest. If it wasn't for my force surrounding her I could have thought she had passed out. 

Her head nuzzled into my chest. I looked down at her, her face was completely relaxed. Just as we made it to the doors, I leaned down to kiss her head again, opening the door in the process.

_______________________

In Anakin's warm, safe arms I take in my new surroundings. The room opens with just a flick of his finger, like magic, but of course I knew better than to believe that. But there was no doubt the force was, well, for lack of a better word the force was a mysterious force to recon with. For instance this constant presence. I always felt him, in my mind, surrounding me in a blanket of safety. 

The room was grand, a large room that was black and red themed with hints of gold here and there. The room was huge, pillars going all the way to the roof and a red carpet adorning the floor right underneath the biggest dining table I have ever seen in my life. But despite the table's grandiose size there sat only four chairs around it. Two sat at separate heads of the table, they were much fancier than the other two, clearly for people of importance such as the Emperor. The other two sat on the sides of the table and while still very nice and comfortable they couldn't have been better than the chairs at the heads of the large table that stood a good seven feet away from the side chairs. 

To the right of us were two grand glass double doors, much taller than Anakin. The black marble stone floor stretched out past the doors and from the windows making up the doors it seemed to drop off into a staircase. I didn't get to see too much before Anakin walked over to the chair at the head of the table to the left. I thought he would have just placed me down and taken his seat elsewhere but instead he pulled the chair out with the force and sat down, me still in his lap. 

I squirmed a little, both out of awkwardness but also to get a little more comfortable on his muscled thighs. Even if I wanted to get off his lap his gentle but firm grip on my body told me this was where I was staying till he decided to let me go. 

The second we sat, servants came out from the doors around us, carrying plates of food and placed them on the empty table that now seemed to have no free space on it once all the dishes had been brought out.. 

I looked in front of us, well in front of us for Anakin, for me I was looking to the side, out the doors. I knew Coruscant was a planet that had very little to no plant life, so I found it odd when I took a closer look outside the doors to see green. Endless plants and trees with flowers of all kinds of colors. I couldn't see too much of it but from what I could see it was the most beautiful place on this planet of metal.

Lost in thought I hadn't noticed that the empty plate in front of us was now full of food, nor that Anakin was trying to feed me. I only noticed when he had placed the small piece of fruit he was holding to my lips, breaking me out of my stupor. 

I look back up at him, I must have had a funny look on my face because he chuckled. 

He reached up his metal hand, and ran it through my hair down to my cheek and jaw. 

"I'll take you into the garden later my love, first you will eat."

He presses the fruit a little closer to my mouth, the juice dripping down my chin a little so to avoid too much of a mess I open my mouth to eat it. It was so juicy and sweet. I had never tasted anything so good in my life. I groaned a little at the taste. It was just so good. It was only once I had swallowed the fruit that I realized how hungry I actually was. I reached over for more food only for my wrist to be grabbed gently by his mechanical hand and brought back over to my chest. I was going to turn my head to question his actions but before I could look over at him I felt warm lips on my neck.

I yelped out in surprise, not expecting it. His lips trailed up my neck, following the trail of juice that had dripped down my chin and apparently my neck. 

I look back over at him shocked at both his actions. Was I not supposed to eat? Then why did he feed me? Were we supposed to do something first like a blessing? I didn't take him for a religious man but he could use the force so maybe? And the kiss, while welcome there were people in the room. It didn't seem like a thing an Emperor should be seen doing especially to someone like me in public. 

Anakin just smiled gently down at me, seeing nothing wrong with his actions. 

"I know you are hungry, little star but you need to eat slowly or else you will get sick. Let me."

Without another word he held another piece of fruit up to me. it wasn't the same fruit as before but it still looked really good. He didn't even bother explaining his kisses, nor did he seem to care about the public setting all that much. 

After taking the other piece of fruit from his fingers I discreetly looked around, all the servants were now standing against the wall surrounding us, not daring to look at us, instead opting to look straight ahead at the servant standing opposite of them. 

I looked back out the windowed doors again. It was dark so the plants out in the garden weren't fully visible but from the city lights I could make out some colors.

__________________________

I continued to feed my love but it was clear it wasn't me or the food that her focus was on, more like she was just eating because I was feeding her despite how hungry she clearly was, otherwise completely lost in her own thoughts. 

It was clear the garden was all she could think about, but first her health came first and that meant eating but being lost in her own thoughts wasn't hurting anyone so I would let her dream until I fulfilled them once I was done feeding her.

I had fed her a fairly juicy piece of meiloorun and the juice once again ran down her chin to the column of her throat. While there was nothing wrong with her getting lost in her own thoughts that didn't mean I could try and distract her from them a little. 

I started from the bottom of the droplet, slowly kissing and sucking my way up to her jaw. I take my sweet time not being in any kind of rush, my little star on the other hand seemed to feel differently. 

With the use of the force it was clear that she wasn't necessarily uncomfortable with my actions or the feeling but our setting, the fact others were here, not like she had to worry. If any of them valued their lives, they won't even steal a glance. Regardless, I didn't like her being uncomfortable so I wouldn't drag on my affections. 

I kiss the corner of her lips before finally pulling away and leaning back into the chair once more. Her face was as red as my lightsaber, it seemed to glow almost as bright as it as well. The sight of her made me chuckle at her. 

I take my flesh hand and gently caress her cheek with my knuckles. 

"Do you want to eat more, my little star?"

She seemed to ponder the question for a moment both gathering her flushed thoughts and seeing if she was in fact still hungry. I had fed her for a while, not like she seemed to notice, so lost in her own little head. 

After a moment she shook her head, before I moved however I strengthened my force around her, making sure she really was full.  She wasn't exactly full but she was satisfied enough and with that I was satisfied. I quickly hoisted her up into my arms and started to carry her out to the gardens she seemed to long for so much. 

Once she realized where we were going her eyes lit up brighter than any of the lights on Coruscant. I squeeze her tightly to my chest, the contact making my heart flutter. 

I didn't want to take her outside. The closer we got to the doors the more I wanted to turn and take her back to our room, safe for everything and anything in my arms. I had my saber with me and the security here was stronger than anything in the galaxy but still. But I knew how much she would love the gardens.

Some part of me reveled in the fact that the servants and guard saw how I treated her, how I held her, how she belonged to me. but on the other hand I wanted to lock her away, I wanted to be the only one who ever saw her soft face and kind eyes full of trust. However the contrasts don't stop there, I want to hold her, always and forever. always to have a part of me touching hers. I know she is safe and protected but most importantly loved. Locking her away would eventually break her, and I could imagine no greater pain than hurting her. 

I wanted to make all her hopes and dreams come true, like I said, she would never want for anything, and right now my little star wanted to go to the garden, so in the safety of my arms that is exactly where she would go. 

Opening the doors with the force I could hear the servants scatter out of the room once me and my love crossed the threshold. 

I refused to wear my armor and mask around her all the time, especially when we are spending time together, such as eating dinner, or simply walking around the palace together, of course of locations outside the palace I will have to wear it, I already don't like that my servants are seeing my face for the first time but even without it I am still an imposing figure, but now they have a face to the phantom. They know I am human and have emotion when they should see me as an imposing emotionless being. But for my love, my reputation means very little as long as I have the power to do as I please and keep them in line. 

A rush of fresh air hits us as we enter the open space of the garden. I could feel my love wiggle around in my arms, clearly wanting to explore a little by herself, so clearly awestruck by what she saw in front of her. Reluctantly I let her go but I remained close to her at all times, often resting my hand on the small of her back softly, just letting her know I was here.

Occasionally I would add a little more pressure only for her to whip her head around to look at what just touched her, clearly get so lost in her own head she completely forgot she had company. I usually didn't like getting ignored but with her it wasn't an insult but a compliment and a win for me. It meant she felt safe enough with me that she was able to completely ignore my imposing presence and yet feel no danger even though I was right behind her, just out of her peripheral vision. 

Every time her little doe eyes shot back to look into my cold and sharp ones she would smile a little making my heart flutter once again. 

As she walked around admiring all the different kinds of flowers, faunas and other arrangements of plant life I took a few steps back. We had been walking around the massive garden for around thirty minutes now but we haven't even seen one third of it yet, she was certainly taking her sweet time. 

After about ten more minutes I was sure she completely forgot about me, even going so far as to quietly call her name but she gave me no reaction. 

I decided she had walked around for long enough, she would have all her life to walk around and memorize every single plant in the garden. Slowly while keeping my force tightly around her I summoned one of the servants, instructing them to bring me something warm to drink and to set it up in the garden. She hadn't eaten as much as I would have liked so I was sure they brought some sandwiches for us as well. Once I was sure they had set everything up again I went over to my little star, She wasn't hard to find. I knew where she was the entire time so all I had to do was follow the force. 

When I saw her she was sitting on the side of a stone raised flower bed delicately holding a flower in her hands and smelling it as she admired the colors of the petals. Her back was facing me which was in my favor, slowly I walked over to her. Once I was right behind her I wrapped my arms around her body, caging her in my arms with hers pinned to her sides. She lets out a frightened little yelp and for a moment I can tell she really is scared something bad is about to happen to her. 

Before she can scream too loudly I turn her around and incase her lips in mine, effectively stealing her breath away. I pull her into my arms as I kiss her deeply. Ensuring she is comfortable. 

After a moment she realizes I was the one kissing her, she goes from scared for her life to embarrassed. I could feel the heat radiating off of her cheeks as she finally kissed me back. 

She is shy, clearly inexperienced, but she is young, and I had no problem taking the lead. Being her first made my ego swell. Being able to teach her new things, discovering her pleasures together for the first time. The thought of it alone made other parts swell.

Slowly I unlock our lips, letting her catch her breath as I rest my lips on her forehead. I could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, I had clearly scared her but she knew she was safe.

"Hello my love."

I could help the chuckle that escaped my lips as she gently slapped my chest.

"That wasn't funny, you nearly scared me half to death."

"I was just playing with you, my love, I would never let anything harm you."

I reach my hand up to her cheek, caressing it with the gentleness of a feather. 

I was about to tell her about the food I had prepared for us but just as I opened my mouth I could hear her stomach growl lightly.

Her face flushes with embarrassment and all I can do is chuckle at her. 

"Come my little star, I have some food for us."

This time I placed her in her own chair but remained close, but this time the table was very small so I was within arms reach of her. 

She looks around the selection of sandwiches in front of her and picks a meat sandwich, slowly she takes a bite as I sip on our warm drink taking in her beauty. 

She moans at the taste of her sandwich and I find myself closing my eyes and taking in the sound, locking it away in my mind. But still, I wanted more, I needed more. But all in due time. I had no need to rush her.

I open my eyes again to look over at her, a crumb on the corner of her mouth. I lean forward and kiss it away. She gasps at the sensation. Not expecting me to kiss her again so suddenly but I could tell she liked it when I kissed her no matter how much it seemed to surprise her, I just seemed to have developed a habit of doing it at unexpected moments. 

She blushes looking away and continuing to eat her food, taking the occasional sip of her drink. 

The garden had a bit of a chill to it, especially at night and I could see bumps appear all over her skin from the cold. The warm drink helped some but it was clearly time to go once she had finished. 

I stared at her as she slowly ate her food, enjoying every bite. As I look at her kind face as she eats I find my mind wandering to all the things I have planned for her, for us. All our firsts, seconds and thirds, they would all be mine.

I imagine at some point her moments will slowly start to come back but all I would have to do is erase them again, while being sure to keep all of our memories, her true memories. And at that moment I knew. 

I could never let her go, and I never would.

Once my love had finished eating I took her hand in mine.

“Come on my love, we best get inside before it gets too cold.”

At my words she seemed to realize how cold she really was, a visible shiver going up her spine. She shyly nodded at me, standing to go inside with me following close behind her. 

She seemed to remember her way around the garden for the most part. Making her way back to the doors of the dining room, walking up the stairs and into the room, gasping a bit as the door opened just as her hand reached for the handles. I couldn't help but chuckle a little at how she jumped back a little once the doors started to open by themselves. 

She whipped her head around, pouting at me for laughing at her, making it that much harder for me to stop. 

“Come my love, there is still more I want to show you before we go back to our chambers.”

She was still pouting as I led her down an adjacent hall. The luster of the palace had been lost on me for many years. Once being the Jedi Temple, it had been completely renovated, looking nothing like the holy place it once was. The late emperor took much pleasure in desecrating the temple, not that it mattered much to me. The memory of the temple leaving a sour taste in my mouth. The memories of my old master, the counsel, all fools and slaves to tradition and weakness. But now I would make new memories, the halls of the palace no longer being so dark and lonely. 

Walking down the hall my little star took in all the details. The painting on the walls of different planets and their immaculate scenery. Our private wing was the only part of the palace that actually had any proper decoration, the rest of it as bleak as one would expect from their droid of an Emperor. 

We walked down the hall, slowing every now and again when a specific painting caught her eye. A walk that would normally take ten minutes ended up taking thirty, normally that was nothing in the galaxy that pissed me off more than slow people who wasted my time, but with her. I wished it was longer. I wished we could walk like that forever. My hand on her back and her beautiful eyes lighting up at any pretty thing she saw, so lost in her own little world nothing could bother her while I got lost in her eyes. Memorizing every feature of her face. 

After a few stops we finally made it to our destination. My love's eyes widened at the doors in front of her, They were a pair of massive doors. Several feet tall made of black marble with gold vined accents curving in every which way and into handles.

I open the doors for my love and I, walking into the largest library on Coruscant. What was once the Jedi archives had been added too from my late masters and my rule.  The Jedi archives were already very extensive but it was limited. With my late masters renovations he expanded the archives into the library it is now. It was once full of empty space but now it was bursting with knowledge. 

My love was awestruck. Looking around with wide eyes at the massive shelves going up to the second level and from there, to the roof. Ladders spanning the entirety of the shelves. 

My little star turned back around to me, her mouth agape with a glimmer in her wonderful eyes. Her mouth moved as if she was speaking but no words came out. 

“This is our library little one, anything you would ever want to learn is all here. And it is all yours.”

Her eyes widen impossibly larger. 

“M-Mine?”

Her voice cracked, not truly believing my words. I couldn't help but chuckle at her flabbergasted face. 

“Yes my love. Everything in this palace belongs to you, including this library.”

She turns back around, slowly making her way to one of the shelves. Running her fingers over the wooden shelves, taking in all the titles of the books, some of them were in languages she didn't understand, but instead of skipping them she would pick them up and skim through them. Looking over the unfamiliar shapes with such interest before delicately placing it back.  

_______________________

I felt like I was in that library for days, the size of it was enough to keep me distracted from reality for weeks. 

I had never seen such an extensive wealth of knowledge. Lots of it I couldn't read but the books I could were in the possible billions. Not to mention all the digital archives. Anything I could ever want to know or anything I was curious at my fingertips. I could learn anything. Do anything. 

The knowledge was really on anything I could ever want: Gardening, Cooking, Baking, Different Species, Politics, History. Even things to read for enjoyment: Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action And Adventure, Anything I could think of was here. 

I had settled on a book called “Dathomirians, Species and Culture.” A very thick book but it was so interesting. I had seen many species on my home planet from visitors, but It never seemed appropriate to ask such personal questions about their lives and species as a whole. 

I had read through a good chunk of the book after a few hours of sitting in a chair close to a large window giving me a view of the city. Anakin had situated himself on a couch across from me, reading a book that he had already started. I glanced back up at him every now and then. Taking in his calm demeanor as he focused on his book, occasionally looking out to the city that I now apparently rule alongside him. 

I couldn't help the anxious feeling that swelled inside me every time I thought of being  ruler. I had no experience in politics or leading. Being as young as I am I found it hard to believe that people would accept me as a ruler. But anytime those thoughts plagued my mind, as soon as they came they disappeared and a warm fuzzy feeling washed over me. 

After many hours of reading and so lost in thought I didn't even realize how tired I had gotten, not even realizing the many yawns that had escaped me. Apparently it didn't escape Anakin's notice as he moved over to me plucking me from my chair making me yelp not expecting him to suddenly pick me up.

“Come, my love. Let's return to our quarters, we both need sleep.”

I was about to protest, wanting to continue my book but a yawn had interrupted me. After a few seconds I lay my head on his shoulder, nodding solemnly, already missing my book.

Asd if Anakin had read my mind he chuckled deeply, the rumbling in his chest reverberating back onto my head.

“Don't worry, my love. The book will be waiting for you tomorrow, but now we both need some sleep.”

_______________________

I carried my love back to our room, as she nodded off in my arms. Once back to our quarters I set her down only to see she was already out cold. I looked down fondly as I tucked her into her side of the bed. 

I stripped my tunic off, sliding into bed and pulling her into my side carefully, so as not to wake her. Letting her head rest on my shoulder as my arm wrapped around her, keeping her secure as a stare down at her. Taking in her soft sleeping features as I drift off.

_______________________

Waking up was peaceful. The most at peace I have been for years. I look down, seeing my little star dead asleep in my arms, her soft breaths wafting across my bare chest, clutching onto our blanket, her head nuzzling into my shoulder. 

I gently reached my free hand over to her face, brushing away a piece of hair that had fallen over her forehead. Leaning in a little closer my lips gently brush against her forehead. I sighed softly as I looked out the window. The blinds were drawn, leaving the room mostly dark, only a slight silver shining through telling me its near noon. 

I knew I would have to get up, regardless of how late me and my love were up last night but I had unavoidable duties that needed to be fulfilled. I hated the very thought of leaving her, especially so soon, her mind was so fragile. being exposed to so many new things. And as much as I wanted her to be by my side all day it was still far too early for her to start learning how to be a true ruler of the galaxy. 

I slowly lifted her, setting her back down on the bed, tucking her back in before stepping away to get ready. Once dressed I looked over my shoulder at my sleeping star before I had to go. I would normally have to leave early on most days, not like this was early. But some work could only be left to me, but with luck I would always return before my love woke up. She wouldn't need to be woken at such an ungodly hour. 

After a few minutes I opened the door once I was sure she was fast asleep. Once I shut the door and began walking down the hall I reached out and wrapped my force around her, keeping a light hold on her mind. This way I would know when my love awakened, being in the throne room wouldn't give me proper access to her but it would tell me how she was feeling at the least.  

Walking into the throne room I could already feel the deep-seated corruption and greed that polluted the room like a poison fog. Greedy politicians that only wanted to benefit themselves. It wasn't common for me to work with the senators and representatives of the planets I ruled but I did have to have audiences occasionally. Hear their petitions for the planets they claim to represent, as if their own wants wasnt what truly drove them to an audience with me.

But as much as I would like to, I can't spend all my time with my little star. Already I found myself on edge, leaving my love alone wasn't helping but I knew she was safe, and being able to keep tabs on her helps, but there was something else. Something in the air. Something that told me to keep on my toes. Today was definitely not a day to test my patience. 

___________________

Waking up felt colder than I was used to, I turned over a little snuggling into the overstuffed pillow under my head slowly opening my eyes as I find my hand wandering over to the other side of the bed where Anakin would sleep, only to find it empty, empty and cold. I slowly turn my head and look over as if feeling the need to visually confirm that he wasn't there. 

But regardless of the lonely bed I found the feeling disappearing rather quickly, as if to just vanish into thin air as it was replaced by my excitement to get back to the book I was reading last night. The excitement was reminiscent of sitting by the fire with a fuzzy blanket and a good book on a cold dark day.

I looked up at the ceiling with a soft smile on my face. Regardless of my anxiousness I couldn't help the feeling of safety in my new home, and the excitement to start discovering all the secrets that accompanied it. I let out a soft sigh as I closed my eyes again, allowing my body to take its time waking up. 

Sitting up in bed after having a good stretch, I looked outside the window, the dark black curtains had already been pulled back a little so I could see the beautiful view of the city. I furrowed my brows a little. Getting closer to the window let me get a proper look outside. Off in the distance I could see dark rolling clouds. A storm was coming.  Never in my life had I seen a more angry sky. The clouds were dark gray and black as they swirled violently. I felt uneasy at the sight of it like a rock had settled in the pit of my stomach. Something about the dark clouds seemed to bring a primal uneasiness to me. 

I moved away from the window, wrapping a robe around my body before I left. Feeling a little peckish. A light snack wouldn't hurt before I wandered over to the library. 

It took me a while to get ready and find the dining hall again but after a few minutes of wandering around like a headless chicken I finally found it again. I took my seat at the head of the table and started to fill my plate with the food already set out on the table. I quietly ate breakfast as I looked around the room again. Taking in all the hand carved details and stonework, the room was cold naturally but the robe I had wrapped around myself kept me plenty warm. A yawn escaped me as I finished up my food. I grabbed the cup of warm caff that was beside my plate and headed down the hall to the library. It was much easier to find than the dining hall was but upon entering the large magnificent room I couldn't help but stop and gawk at the vastness of it. Tall black marble pillars stood several meters above my head, reaching all the way to the roof standing in between the wooden book shelves. 

The library had two levels, the second one following a grand staircase with books adorning large bookcases. I had only skimmed through a few books last night and lots of the books were in languages I couldn't even read, but the ones I had found were amazing. Stories of distant civilizations, worlds completely unknown to me, books of universal plants and fauna, animals I could never have dreamed of. There was so much knowledge I had never even dreamed of hidden on these shelves. enough to keep me busy for a lifetime. I wandered over to the window seat me and Anakin had found ourselves at last night. Picking up my abandoned book, settling in to continuing from where I left off.

Settling on one of the many comfortable couches by the window I open the book to the page I left off on. The culture and practices of the Dathomirians was very intranet and mysterious, practices I had never considered before like tattooing their entire body starting at a young age, each tattoo having a deep meaning and all markings being unique and helps to distinguish the members of their communities. 

There was also information on the Nightsisters, the female counterparts to their male Dathomirians, unlike the men and their vibrant coloured skin the Nightsisters had more of a light gray color to their skin, with lighter coloured tattoos that don't cover their whole bodies.

The book itself was large with many chapters on the history of the species and planet, I became so enraptured in the pages I hadn't even realized the sky had been completely eclipsed by the energy clouds until it happened.

_______________________

I scowled as I made my way back to my stars and my room. Those damn politicians and senators had taken up all my time, never taking a breath before trying a new way to suck to me or to try and convince me to favor their system. 

The sun had already disappeared by dark storm clouds, the city being illuminated by the lights as a storm began rolling in.

I had done my best to keep tabs on my little star but in trying to get my day done and over witht as quickly as possible I had neglected to keep a very close 'eye' on her. I made my way over to the kitchen to instruct the staff to bring our supper to our room, wanting to be alone with her for the rest of the night. 

I could hear thunder crashing outside, the sound rattling the windows, it was clear that the storm would last us all through the night and most likely the rest of tomorrow. It would make a good excuse to stay in with my love. 

As I make my way to our private wing I feel a sharp pang in my heart before I feel it in the force, I could feel (Y/N) distress, it felt the same as when I first brought her to her new home. I ran towards the library, nearing bursting the doors off the wall. It was dark, all but a single candle by a book on a table but I didn't need the light to know where my love was.

Running over to the corner she was sitting in, her back against the wall and crouching down and cupping her cheeks in my hands, She gasps and tries to get away from me, her eyes screwed tightly closed as tears cascade down her red cheeks and down onto my leather gloves.

Her loud sobs broke my hard as I moved to hold her close only for her to scream as another clap of thunder seemed to shake her soul.

"Shhhhh, my love, it's me. You're ok, just breathe."

She wouldn't relax as I continued to try to calm her down with my words, flooding her senses with the force that seemed useless in her panic. 

I slowly remove my hands from her cheeks to pull off my helmet, setting it aside. Placing my hands back on her cheeks and forcing her to look into my eyes.

She gasps as she finally focuses on me, as if she had only just realized I was even in the room with her. She stopped for a moment only to collapse back into my arms in sobs. 

I lift her in my arms and take her over to the couch to sit. Holding her close in my arms and thunder continued to crash outside. Every time thunder would go off she would yelp and flinch at the sound. 

I keep her pinned to my chest as I try and comfort her rooting around in her brain to try and figure out what was wrong. After a few minutes of rooting around I finally realized what it was. 

The thunder sounded like a blaster bolt being fired, it wasn't something she remembered consciously, it was a physical reaction to PTSD. Even if her brain didn't remember it her body made her think something was wrong without her actively knowing what it was scared of. 

I let out a sigh of relief, obviously I wasn't pleased my darling was scared but at least she hadn't been hurt or attacked. 

"Shhh my love, it's ok. Nothing can hurt you while you're in my arms."

After what felt like an eternity of me trying to calm her I decided to use the force, blocking out her sense of hearing in a desperate attempt to relax her. 

Slowly but surely she began to calm down, no longer able to hear anything. Once she began to breathe normally I placed my arm under her knees and one on her back lifting her. She gasped a little as I lifted her and started to walk back looking up at me with big wet eyes. I give her a soft simile as I make my way to our room.

Once we arrive I gently place her on the bed and move away to take off the remainder of my armor only to feel her hand wrapped as tightly as it could around my arms, Looking back at her with surprise I knelt down to her level, relinquishing my force a little so she could hear me but nothing else. 

"Don't worry my love, I'm not going anywhere."

"Please."

My heart breaks at the sound of her voice, so soft and broken.

"Shhh my love."

I place my forehead on hers, slowly coaxing her to lay down. Once she was laying on the sheets I took a step back so I could remove my armor. Once it was off I crawled over her, hovering over her, my elbows on either side of her head as I brought my lips to her ear.

"You never have to be afraid of anything, not as long as I am here. I'll always protect you."

She sniffled softly, hiccupping a little from left over sobs. She lifts her arms and wraps them around my torso, her nails lightly digging into the skin on my back. I groan softly in her ear, loving the feeling of her clinging to me. 

"I'll always keep you safe."

I kiss her forehand, scowling moving down to her eye-lids and cheeks, kissing every tear.

I continued to hover over her and kissed her softly till she had calmed down, her hiccups quieting down as she finally went limp under me, her arms no longer clinging to me for dear life, instead just hugging me gently.

I lifted myself up, moving to crawl under the covers, pulling her with me till we were snuggled together in the middle of our bed. Once the blanket was wrapped tightly around her, one of my arms under her head as a pillow and the other kept her close to me by her waist. Our legs tangled together in a mess of comfort and love. 

I kiss her forehead once more as I slowly feel her fall unconscious in my arms.

Right as I had closed my eyes feeling content with her in my arms I felt her soft warm lips on my bare chest. My eyes slash open to look down at her lips pressed tenderly to my chest.

"Thank you, I love you."

Her voice was blurred with sleep but I heard her well enough.

My heart began beating faster than it ever has in my life. I kissed her tenderly, holding her impossibly closer, relishing in those five simple words, treasureing them. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine she would say such words so soon, but she did. 

I couldn't believe it at first, but as she fell asleep in my arms, her words replaying in my mind, burning it in my memory for all eternity I knew, I finally had my true love.

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Infernal Shadows 06.

Synopsis: Being one of the most powerful overlords in Hell, you like to keep up with colonies and overlord plans. Recently with the new extermination date out, you hold your annual gala sooner than usual. You hadn’t expected to get in the middle of the already heated feud between the Radio Demon and the head of Vox Tech.

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used for the reader, mentions of blood, voodoo?, Angel Dust being a horn-bag, Reader is referred too as Madame to the public. Vox and Alastor feud because I live for it. SOME ROMANCEEEEEEE BECAUSE I DIDNT BUILD THIS STORY UP FOR NOTHINGGGGGGGG and they KISSSS AT THE ENDDDDDDDD, Madame being stubborn and not wanting to open up, alastor being a unconventional flirt, other overlords wanting to fight Madame, fighting, THEY KISSSED FINALLLLLLYYYY RAHHHHHHH ROMANCE CHAPTERRRRRRRRRRR RAHHHHHHHHH ENJOYYYY RAHHHHHHHHHH

A/N: IM BACCCKKKK WITH ANOTHER CHAPAPPPTTERRRRRR, I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY AND THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO STILL KEEPS UP WITH THIS STORY I LOVE YOU SOSOSOOOSOSOOSOSOS SOOOOOO MUCH THANK YOU ENDLESSLY FOR THE SUPPORT I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!! IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER SO THIS IS SHORT BUT YEAH ENJOY!!! As for the taglist, I’m afraid it’s closed as of right now, just because I physically cannot tag anymore people on these posts, so I’ll try to figure something out with that!

Tags: @dollops-of-delusion @nebsisdead @speedybeta @rosedasy @chesstras @pishybowl @iaaeav @forgotten-blues @22carolina08 @roboticsuccubus83 @doflamingadonquixote @froggyferrets @frompeach @absurd-ash @ikkyboy @urdariingdoll @delectableworm @immahuman @justaproudslytherpuff @local-mr-frog @angeli-fucking-cat @coldsweetsenthusiast @jadekomaeda @coffeethoughtsandanxiety @lunalixya @lemonrolls @asimplikeallyall @sockgoblin @nxrdamp @l0ca1ax010t1 @inutheangel @writing-fanfics @ghostdoodlen @elaemae @fantasy-angelo @patchesofdreams @sunnyslug @arrozyfrijoles23 @kimmikreates @lqmons @mangobango69 @lily-ann-b @venusasf

Masterlist // Navigation // Part five //

Word Count: idk too much to count

Alastor wandered through the dimly lit corridors of his domain, his thoughts consumed by the recent encounter with Madame. The battle had been a humbling reminder of his own limitations—something he wasn't accustomed to facing. Despite his confidence and power, Madame had proven to be a formidable opponent, one whose control over shadows and icy demeanor had far exceeded his expectations.

As he moved through his radio tower, the events of their confrontation replayed in his mind. He had approached her with the usual bravado, fully expecting to bring her down like all the other overlords he’d bested. But she had met him with a calm, almost eerie composure, deflecting his every move with an ease that unsettled him. He could still hear the sound of his staff shattering under her attack, the unpleasant screech of static in his own mind as she sent him back to the Pride Ring with little more than a thought.

It wasn't just her power that gnawed at him—it was the way she had affected him. Alastor was used to being in control, to dictating the flow of events, but something about Madame had stirred feelings he didn’t want to acknowledge. She was cold, calculating, and impossibly strong, and yet... there was an allure to her that he found difficult to ignore. It was a weakness, one that he despised, but it was there nonetheless. He felt if he ignored it, it would go away. All he needed to do was to be stronger—better. Then she’d crack under him, make her the newest voice of his broadcast, make her feel so little the way she had done to him.

As he pondered over these thoughts, Alastor was brought back to the present with the realization that the meeting with the other overlords was quickly approaching. These meetings were a regular occurrence, held every few months, and were crucial to maintaining the balance of power in Hell. They were a time for the most powerful and influential figures to discuss territory, strategies, and alliances. Alastor had never missed one, and he had no intention of starting now, especially not with the recent developments concerning Madame. Maybe he could find the next overlord he could to dethrone.

Arriving at the grand hall where the meetings were held, Alastor made his entrance with his usual arrogance, his presence immediately commanding attention. The room buzzed with the energy of powerful entities discussing territory, power, and politics. Alastor mingled easily, his charm masking the storm of thoughts still brewing from his encounter with Madame. He decided to try pushing their little petty fight to the back of his mind for now.

But as the discussions swirled around him, the grand doors suddenly swung open, their creak cutting through the noise like a knife. The room fell silent as every head turned toward the entrance. The air felt cold, chilling, and the energy in the air swirled of death. Like if a reaper had come back to kill them all a second time. Madame stepped into view, her presence electrifying the air. The shadows clung to her like a living entity, her authority almost tangible. The surprise among the gathered overlords was immediate—Madame’s arrival at such a meeting was nothing short of shocking. She was never one who cared to mingle outside of her own will, and despite being advised to attend these meetings, it was rare she’d ever come.

Alastor’s eyes locked onto her, his usual smirk straining as he took in the sight. Her presence had instantly shifted the dynamics of the room. This was no ordinary gathering now; it was a battlefield, and Madame had just declared herself a major player. Alastor had never felt so small before, even in a room where some would say he had a target on his back. She made him feel like biggest loser in a game of chess. He hated this feeling.

His mind raced as he watched her, the earlier feelings of unease mingling with something deeper. He couldn’t shake the effect she had on him. This meeting was supposed to be about power, about control, but as she moved with that same eerie composure through the room, Alastor knew that his own feelings were becoming just as much a part of the game as anything else. This felt different, like something he couldn’t fight.

As Madame strode into the grand hall, her entrance caused an immediate stir among the gathered overlords. The room fell into a stunned silence, all eyes drawn to her commanding presence. The shadows that cloaked her seemed to deepen, adding an air of mystery and authority to her arrival.

A tall, imposing figure was the first to break the silence, his voice tinged with a note of surprise and curiosity. “Madame, what a surprise,” he said, his tone careful but laced with underlying tension. Even he was nervous. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence here?”

Madame’s gaze swept across the room, her eyes cold and unyielding. “Pleasure is not the word I would use,” she replied, her voice smooth and controlled. “I believe it is time for a new alignment of power. The affairs of Hell are shifting, and I intend to make my influence known.” She said, her eyes shifting to the other overlords in the room. It was deathly silent.

A smaller, serpentine overlord slithered closer, suspicion narrowing his eyes. “And why should we welcome you here, Madame? You’ve always preferred your isolation. What has brought you to our gathering now?”

Madame’s expression remained inscrutable. “Times change, and so must we. I am here to ensure that my interests are represented. The dynamics of Hell are evolving, and I intend to be at the forefront of these changes. You should know me better than this by now, or so I’d hope.”

Another overlord with a severe demeanor stepped forward, her voice sharp with authority. “You have been a formidable force in the Pride Ring, Madame, but this is not your usual territory. What exactly are you proposing?”

Madame’s eyes met hers with unwavering resolve. The woman almost shrieked when Madame had turned almost too quickly to face her. “I propose that we reconsider our alliances and strategies. The balance of power is in flux, and I have no intention of being left behind. If any here believe they can dictate the future without considering my position, they will find themselves gravely mistaken.” Madame said, and at this, her eyes finally met Alastor. It seemed as though their little fight had pulled Madame out of her long dug out grave.

The assembled overlords exchanged uneasy glances. Madame’s arrival and her clear assertion of power had shifted the atmosphere in the room. Alastor, observing the exchange from a comfortable distance, felt the tension rise. He was drawn to her presence, not just as a rival but as something more—a feeling he found unsettling. He couldn’t deny the pull of attraction he felt toward her, but it clashed violently with his usual sense of lost control. It made him uneasy, this mix of admiration and something dangerously close to affection. But it seemed she was proving to be quite the ally.

He had heard tales of her power, of her cold demeanor and strong will, but seeing it firsthand stirred something unexpected within him. It wasn’t just respect for her strength; there was an undercurrent of desire, something he had never allowed himself to feel before. And he hated it. Hated that she, of all beings, could make him feel this way. It was a weakness, and Alastor despised weakness.

Yet, as she spoke with such calm authority, claiming her place among them, he couldn’t help but be fascinated. There was a part of him that wanted to test her, to push her limits, to see just how cold and powerful she truly was. But another part, the part he tried to suppress, wanted something more—to know her, to understand who was under all this power.

The tall overlord who had first spoken tried to regain his composure. “Very well, Madame. We will hear what you have to say. But know this: the balance of power here is delicate, and any attempt to disrupt it will be met with resistance.”

Madame inclined her head slightly, a gesture of acknowledgment. “I understand the stakes. Rest assured, my intention is not to disrupt, but to integrate my influence into the existing framework. The changes will benefit all, or none.” She said, looking around before landing back onto the previous overlord. “Though I wouldn’t mind a good fight. I haven’t had one in quite some time.”

A good fight? Had he really made himself look like that much of a fool? Her words angered him, and he fought hard not to attack her right then and there. But who knew what the other overlords would do. Alastor had a feeling he wasn’t the only one considering attempting to make her his new ally. She seemed like a sure asset to survival. Alastor remained silent, his mind racing with thoughts he wasn’t accustomed to having. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like that she had this effect on him. But as much as he tried to push those feelings down, he knew they were there, lingering just beneath the surface, making him question his own intention.

After the meeting, the grand hall slowly emptied as the overlords departed, leaving behind only the first overlord and Madame. The tension in the air was palpable as the first overlord turned to her, his gaze sharp and probing.

“You don’t usually involve yourself in these meetings,” he remarked, his tone laced with suspicion. “What do you really want, Madame? What brings you here now, after all this time?”

Madame’s expression remained unreadable, her eyes cold as they met his. “Perhaps it’s because you’ve failed to keep your so-called allies under control,” she replied smoothly. “There’s been a shift in the balance of power, and it seems you’re struggling to maintain it.”

The first overlord bristled at her words, his jaw tightening. “What they do doesn’t concern you. My goal is to keep us all in power, and I’m doing what needs to be done.”

“Are you?” Madame’s voice was calm, almost dismissive. “Because from where I’m standing, it seems like you’re losing your grip. I, on the other hand, have no such difficulties. Power comes naturally to me, and I don’t need to rely on unstable alliances to keep it.”

Her words cut deep, and the first overlord’s face flushed with anger. Without another word, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, leaving Madame alone in the echoing silence of the grand hall.

After the overlord had stormed out, Madame lingered in her positing in the meeting room, her thoughts a complex web of plans and calculations. The conversation had been revealing; it was clear that the balance of power was more fragile than anyone wanted to admit. The idea of aligning herself with these other overlords seemed increasingly unnecessary. She could sense the cracks in their unity from a mile away and knew that exploiting those weaknesses would be far more effective.

But she wasn’t truly alone.

Alastor had been listening, concealed in the shadows, his presence undetected by either of them. He had heard every word of their exchange, and now, as the first overlord’s footsteps faded, he decided to make his presence known.

Stepping out from the darkness, Alastor’s voice broke the silence. “You’ve certainly made quite the impression tonight.”

Madame didn’t flinch at the sound of his voice. Instead, she turned to face him, her expression as inscrutable as ever. “And you’ve been eavesdropping,” she noted coolly.

Alastor smiled, though there was a hint of something darker beneath it. “Curiosity is one of my many vices,” he admitted, his eyes narrowing slightly as he regarded her. “But I must say, you’ve surprised me, Madame. Not many can make him lose his composure like that.”

Madame remained silent for a moment, studying him with a measured gaze. “What do you want, Radio Demon?” she asked finally, her tone devoid of warmth.

He tilted his head slightly, pretending to consider her question. “Oh, just a chat between acquaintances. Perhaps over dinner?”

Her answer was immediate and firm. “No.”

Unfazed, Alastor took a step closer, his smile unwavering. “Are you sure? I might know something that could be of interest to you.”

Madame’s eyes narrowed, her suspicion evident. “I said no.”

But Alastor didn’t retreat. Instead, he moved closer still, until he was near enough to feel the chill radiating from her. He could sense the coldness of her aura, a stark contrast to the warmth of his own presence. His nerves prickled with a faint anxiety, but he concealed it behind his ever-present grin.

He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “Business, of course. And who knows? You might just hear something you’ve been curious about.”

Madame studied him for a long moment, her gaze piercing. Finally, she relented, though her tone remained cool and businesslike. “Fine. This is strictly for business.”

With that, the tension between them shifted, an agreement made but far from trust. As they prepared to leave the room, Alastor couldn’t help but feel a thrill of anticipation. This was just the beginning, and though Madame remained an enigma, he was determined to unravel her secrets, one way or another, wether she liked it or not.

Later that evening, as the darkness settled over Hell’s Pride Ring, Alastor arrived at Madame’s grand estate. The ominous shadows that seemed to live within the very walls of her home barred his entrance, forcing him to wait outside. He stood there, outwardly composed, but the anticipation was a slow burn beneath his skin.

The front door creaked open, and for once, she chose to step outside rather than melt into the shadows. The sight of her made him still, his usual suave demeanor faltering as he took in her appearance. Madame was clad in a sleek, all-black ensemble that hugged her form elegantly. The way the fabric moved with her, dark and fluid, almost like the shadows she commanded, made it seem as if she was an extension of the night itself.

Alastor's sharp red eyes traced every detail, from the delicate curve of her neck to the way the dim light glinted off her attire. For a moment, he fought to keep his usual control, but the sight of her was... disarming. She was a vision of power, one that both thrilled and unnerved him. He began to wonder if having thoughts of Madame in, other ways, were something his mother would approve of. He wasn’t raised to be so, ungentlemanly.

"You look... stunning, if I may say," Alastor remarked, his voice laced with a gentlemanly charm that barely concealed the genuine admiration beneath. There was a subtle flirtation in his tone, something almost out of character for the Radio Demon, but then again, Madame had a way of bringing out what lay beneath his facade. She felt a proud sense in this moment.

Madame paused, her gaze cool and assessing, yet something softened in her eyes. A slight smile tugged at her lips—just the faintest hint of amusement or perhaps acknowledgment of his words. "Be quiet, Radio Demon," she replied, her tone as sharp as ever, but there was no real bite to it. The smile remained, even if just for a moment, before she turned away, signaling the beginning of their 'business' evening.

As Madame stepped closer, her calm demeanor unwavering, she glanced at Alastor with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “So, where exactly are we dining tonight?” she asked, her tone as measured as ever.

Alastor’s smile widened, an air of mischievousness dancing behind his eyes. “I do hope you enjoy venison,” he replied, his voice smooth. Before Madame could respond, Alastor extended his hand slightly, and with a mere flick of his wrist, the shadows around them swirled and engulfed them both in an instant. The world shifted, and they reappeared at a secluded, upscale restaurant deep within the Pride Ring.

As they materialized at their destination, Madame found herself standing on a balcony overlooking a secluded, upscale restaurant nestled deep within the Pride Ring. The restaurant was lit with soft lanterns, casting a gentle glow across the water. The air was thick with the scent of rich spices and sizzling meat, the restaurant’s specialty.

Alastor kept a polite distance from Madame as they walked to their table, though his eyes couldn’t help but wander to her from time to time. "I trust you enjoy venison?" he asked casually, glancing at her to gauge her reaction.

Madame didn’t miss a beat. “It’s acceptable,” she replied, her tone even. “But I’m more interested in why you chose this particular place. Seems a bit... quaint for an overlord.”

A small, knowing smile played on Alastor’s lips. “Ah, but that’s the charm of it, isn’t it? A little pocket of calm in the midst of all the chaos. I find it helps... clear the mind.”

Madame’s eyes briefly scanned the surroundings, taking in the dark wood paneling and the warm glow of the lanterns that lined the walls. “I suppose even demons need a break from the constant power struggles,” she mused, though her voice held a hint of skepticism.

Alastor chuckled softly as they continued following the host. “Indeed. And besides,” he added, lowering his voice slightly as he leaned in just a fraction closer, “it’s not often I get to dine with such... intriguing company.”

Madame shot him a sidelong glance, her expression unreadable. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Alastor,” she said, though there was the faintest trace of a smirk on her lips.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied smoothly, his grin widening as they stepped out onto the balcony. The cool air of the night greeted them, and the view of the pond below made for a striking backdrop. The host gestured to their table, positioned at the edge of the balcony, was isolated from the other diners, giving them an unexpected sense of privacy. The atmosphere was intimate, almost deceptively so, as if the very setting was designed to disarm and enchant.

Madame paused for a moment, taking in the scene before her. It was, as Alastor had described, a little pocket of calm. But she knew better than to be lulled by the surface. “Interesting choice,” she remarked, allowing a hint of approval to seep into her voice.

Alastor pulled out her chair with a flourish, his smile never faltering. “I’m glad you think so. I find it’s always worth it to seek out the unexpected.”

Madame allowed herself a slight nod as she took her seat. “We’ll see if it’s worth it,” she said, her tone measured, as Alastor took his place across from her. Despite the seemingly relaxed atmosphere, the undercurrent of their conversation was anything but casual. Both knew that this dinner, like everything else in Hell, was a game of strategy—one where neither could afford to lose.

As they settled into their seats, a server approached with a polite smile, ready to take their order. Alastor gestured for Madame to order first, but she simply nodded at the server, her expression impassive.

“I’ll have whatever you think is the best dish on the menu,” Madame said, her tone decisive, as if challenging the server to impress her.

The server blinked, slightly taken aback but quickly recovered. “Very well, Madame. We’ll make sure it’s something special,” they replied before turning to Alastor.

“And for you, sir?”

“I’ll have the venison,” Alastor responded smoothly, handing the menu back with a courteous nod. “Prepared exactly as the chef recommends.”

The server took their menus and bowed slightly before retreating, leaving the two of them alone on the balcony, the soft sounds of the night providing a serene backdrop. The silence between them stretched on for a moment, each absorbed in their own thoughts.

It was Alastor who finally broke the silence, his tone casual but with a hint of something more. “You know, Madame, you don’t have to keep calling me ‘Radio Demon.’ It’s Alastor. A simple name for a not-so-simple demon.”

Madame looked at him, her eyes narrowing slightly as if weighing his words. “I’m surprised you’d share something so personal,” she replied, her voice cool and measured. “Names hold power, and in Hell, that’s not something you should give away lightly.”

Alastor smiled, unfazed by her caution. “Perhaps, but I don’t mind people knowing my name—especially if that person is you.” His tone was light, almost teasing, but there was an undertone of sincerity that gave his words more weight.

At this, Madame grew silent, her gaze steady but thoughtful as she considered his response. For once, she found herself at a loss for words. His openness caught her off guard, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. The usual sharp retorts or calculated replies seemed out of place in this moment, and that realization unsettled her.

Alastor, noticing her hesitation, simply smiled and leaned back in his chair, letting the silence settle between them again. He didn’t push further, content with the small victory of having her momentarily off-balance. The night was still young, and there was plenty of time for the game to unfold.

Moments later, the server returned, balancing plates of expertly prepared food and a bottle of wine. With a polite nod, they set down the venison in front of Alastor and another dish for Madame, which appeared to be the restaurant’s specialty. The bottle of wine was uncorked with a practiced hand, and two glasses were poured before the server bowed slightly and left, leaving the two alone on the balcony.

The night air was still, with only the faintest sound of the water from the pond below. Madame, ever composed, picked up her glass, swirling the wine briefly before taking a sip. She set it down gently, her gaze sharp as it met Alastor’s.

“So,” she began, her tone dripping with sarcasm, “what is it that you so strongly think I should know?”

Alastor leaned back slightly, a small, amused smile playing on his lips. “You have such a way with words, Madame,” he said, his voice smooth. “But I assure you, I wouldn’t have asked for your time if it wasn’t worth your attention.”

Madame remained silent, her expression unreadable as she waited for him to continue.

Alastor, sensing her impatience, leaned in slightly, his demeanor shifting to something more serious. “You’ve been making waves, Madame, whether intentionally or not. The power you wield, your control over the Pride Ring, the overlords—it’s drawing attention. Not just from me, but from others who are far less… civilized.”

Madame raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Civilized? And you think I can’t handle a few envious overlords without a man?”

Alastor chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Oh, I have no doubt you can handle them. But there are forces at play that are more cunning, more insidious. They’d rather undermine you from the shadows than confront you directly.”

Madame’s eyes narrowed. “And why would you be warning me about this, Alastor? What’s in it for you?”

“Consider it a gesture of goodwill,” he replied smoothly. “You see, Madame, I prefer a more… direct approach. If I want something, I’ll let it be known to all who listen.”

Madame studied him for a moment, her gaze piercing. “ Very direct and very vague, of course.” She said with a scoff, looking away from him, not noticing how Alastor’s eye twitched at her comment. It was clear he could not fool her. “And what is it that you want, Alastor?” She said looking back at him.

Alastor’s smile widened slightly, his eyes glinting in the low light. “Simple. I want us to work together. You’re strong, powerful, and let’s be honest, Madame—you’re far more interesting than the rest of them. Imagine what we could achieve if we combined our strengths.”

Madame didn’t respond immediately, her mind processing his words. She couldn’t ignore the flattery, but she also couldn’t fully trust him. She picked up her wine glass again, taking another sip as she weighed her options.

Finally, she set the glass down, her expression firm. “I’ll consider your proposal, Alastor. But know this: I’m not easily swayed by words alone.”

Alastor nodded, his smile never fading. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, mon chère.”

The night sky over the Pride Ring was a tumultuous swirl of crimson and black as the group of overlords gathered for their planned ambush. Their leader, a towering figure with an aura of dark energy, spoke with grim satisfaction.

“This is it. Madame won’t see this coming,” the leader said. “We strike quickly and decisively. She’s always so isolated. She thinks she’s invulnerable. This will be her lesson.”

A hulking overlord with a body of molten stone growled in agreement. “We’ve waited long enough. Let’s kill her already.”

Another overlord, draped in ice added, “She’s always been a thorn in our sides, thinking she’s better than us. Without her, we can consolidate our power and crush any opposition.”

The group spread out, their malicious grins reflecting their eagerness to finally take down Madame. As they prepared to ambush her, their confidence was palpable.

Madame, however, despite their past beliefs, had sensed something was amiss. Emerging from the shadows with her usual poise, she took in the sight of the assembled overlords. Her eyes, cold and calculating, swept over them.

“I see you’ve decided to pay me a visit,” Madame said smoothly, her tone carrying an edge of disdain. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

The overlord leader’s eyes narrowed, a mixture of surprise and irritation on his face. “You’re not in a position to be so composed. You’ll be begging for your life soon, Madame.”

Madame’s lips curved into a faint smile. “And you think you can do that easily? You forget yourself.”

“Enough talk,” the molten overlord roared, stepping forward with an imposing presence. “Let’s get this over with. I’m sick and tired of her.”

Just as the overlords closed in, ready to strike, a burst of static crackled through the air, causing them to halt in their tracks. Alastor emerged from the shadows, his usual flamboyant entrance turning heads. The overlords looked at each other in surprise, confusion evident in their expressions.

“Surprised?” Alastor’s voice echoed with a hint of amusement. “I’d say you’re a bit out of your depth. I think we all know I love good entertainment!”

The overlords hesitated, momentarily thrown off balance by Alastor’s sudden appearance. Madame seized the opportunity, her shadows whipping out with precise strikes, catching the attackers off guard.

The overlord leader’s eyes widened. “You’re with her?”

Alastor smirked as he manipulated reality around them, creating chaos among the enemy ranks. “Indeed. Seems you’ve underestimated both of us.”

Another overlord, speaking with annoyance, said “He’s only with her because she’ll kill him if he tries killing her. He’s too weak.” At this, Alastor felt himself grin, his aura shifting to a green tone, the way it had when he had first fought Madame.

Madame’s eyes glinted with determination. “Alastor, keep them disoriented. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Of course, Mon chere,” he replied, summoning a burst of static energy to further disrupt their opponents. “Let’s make this an entertaining show!”

The fight erupted into chaos, with Madame and Alastor working in tandem. Alastor’s chaotic influence complemented Madame’s shadowy precision, creating a whirlwind of confusion for the overlords. They fought back fiercely, but the combined might of Madame and Alastor proved overwhelming. Alastor had proven himself to be quite the asset to her.

One of the overlords, cornered and desperate, shouted, “You can’t defeat all of us! You’ll get tired eventually!”

Madame’s shadows enveloped him, pinning him down. She laughed, a smile on her face, one Alastor took the time to stop and admire as he watched her speak to the overlord beneath her.“We don’t need to defeat all of you, I was actually planning on killing you. But I guess I can rough you up just enough to make you reconsider your plans.”

As the last of the attackers fled, the battlefield fell silent. The ground was littered with the defeated, the acrid smell of blood hanging in the air. Madame stood tall, her gaze sweeping over the scene, while Alastor casually adjusted his jacket, a satisfied grin on his face.

“Well, that was quite the display,” Alastor remarked, turning to Madame. “I must say, mon chère, we do make quite the team.”

Madame regarded him with an unreadable expression. “This doesn’t make us allies, Alastor. You helped because it suited your interests.”

Alastor’s grin widened, his eyes glinting with playful mischief. “Perhaps. Or maybe I simply enjoyed the spectacle. It was a great show!”

Madame’s lips twitched slightly. “Regardless, you were useful tonight. But don’t think this changes anything.”

Alastor chuckled, his tone both light-hearted and sincere. “Of course, Madame. That’s what makes you so intriguing.”

As they left the battlefield, Madame cast a sidelong glance at Alastor. “You’re more complex than I expected.”

“And you, Madame, are a mystery I’m quite eager to solve.” Alastor replied smoothly. “Though all that can wait, I’m quite starved. Would you like to accompany me to our usual restaurant? I hear there’s a special tonight.” Alastor said in a sing-song tone. Madame sighed, joining Alastor at his side as he summoned a portal.

“I guess I could bother myself with your presence for a bit longer.” She replied, a small smile on her face as she stepped through with Alastor.

As the evening wore on, the restaurant’s ambiance shifted from casual to intimate. The soft glow of candlelight flickered over the polished table, casting warm shadows that danced across the walls. Madame and Alastor had finished their meal, and the atmosphere between them was charged with a new tension, an unspoken expectation hanging in the air.

Alastor stood up from his chair, his movements deliberate and graceful. He adjusted his suit jacket, his usual playful smirk replaced by a rare seriousness. With his hands clasped behind his back, he took a deep breath, his posture straight and his gaze focused intently on Madame. The light caught the gleam in his eyes, emphasizing the earnestness of his next words. “Madame,” he began, his voice soft yet filled with intensity. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Madame looked up from her wine glass, her expression guarded but curious. “What is it, Alastor?”

Alastor’s eyes never wavered as he leaned forward slightly, the formality of his stance softened by the genuine emotion in his tone. “When I first sought you out, it was with the intention of understanding you, and perhaps even taking your power. You intrigued me, and I thought I could manipulate it to my advantage. But as I watched you, as I saw how fiercely you fought and how you stood your ground tonight, something has changed, and I believe I can no longer keep these emotions to myself.”

Madame’s eyes narrowed slightly, a mix of skepticism and anticipation. “Changed how? Keep what to yourself?”

Alastor’s gaze was unwavering, his voice carrying a sincerity that seemed foreign to his usual demeanor. He took a small step closer, his body language open and vulnerable. “I believe, I have… fallen for you.” He said quietly. The air was still, silent. He continue. “I’ve never felt this way about a single living soul, not even while I was alive. At first, I was drawn to your strength, your control, and your resilience. But I find it is more than that now. You’ve touched something within me that I believed was long dead. My feelings for you have grown beyond mere admiration.”

Madame’s expression softened, though she remained silent, processing his confession.

“I am aware,” Alastor continued, his hands now loosely clasped in front of him, his stance slightly more relaxed but still tense with emotion, “that you do not need me. You are more than powerful and capable on your own.” He said, trying to disband any doubt in Madame’s mind. “But I want to be by your side, to fight alongside you, and only if you will have me. I’ve never felt this way before, and I cannot let this go unspoken about any longer.” Madame studied him for a moment, her emotions a tangled web of surprise and contemplation. “I love you, mon amour.”

Alastor’s smile was slowly faltering with the more silence she gave him. He felt his mind begin to race. Maybe he had made the wrong decision. But if she doesn’t say yes, surely he can’t have her be with someone else, right? Fighting her again would be hard though. She surely wouldn’t just allow him to lock her away forever right? Alastor took another step closer, his hand hovering just above hers, a silent offer of connection. “Please, say something.” He asked. At this, Madame just hummed.

Madame had grown…accustomed to Alastor. It had been months since their initial meeting, and during that time he’d stuck rather close to her. Whenever she was out on the town checking on her boutiques, he’d send her lunch or occasionally flowers. Some days while she was resting home, looking over plans and notes, a shadow would report to her with a message about how Alastor had single handedly taken down another overlord who she knew had been plotting on her for a bit. He had proven himself to be useful, but she was beginning to find it harder and harder to ignore how he had truly made her felt. Outside of a business sense. He’d invite her to tag along with him on business endeavors, and she’d sit and watch as Alastor racked up souls like if it was a game. Sometimes she wondered if he really took anything serious, and if he could ever take her serious.

She’d never trust a man. How could she when she watched her sister be crushed by one? She was afraid, being with someone meant being vulnerable, giving herself up. Giving up everything she believed in all because she’d fallen in love with a man in her afterlife? This wasn’t how she thought she’d be spending her eternity, but here she was. But, she’d be damned if she ever made the first move.

Maybe, she could trust him? Or learn too, at least.

Madame’s gaze remained steady as Alastor finished his confession. She took a moment to process his words, her expression betraying little emotion. Her posture was relaxed but maintained, the epitome of composure. She sat upright, her hands resting neatly on the table, fingers interlaced as if to keep her emotions in check.

“Alastor,” she began, her voice cool but with an underlying softness, “your confession is unexpected. I never imagined being in a position where my own feelings would be so… exposed.” Alastor chuckled at her words, his nerves calming a bit.

She briefly looked down at their hands before meeting his gaze again. Her eyes, sharp and unyielding, softened ever so slightly as she continued. “You’ve managed to breach the walls I’ve carefully constructed. It’s disconcerting, though not entirely unwelcome. Your presence has affected me more than anticipated.” She paused a bit, before continuing.

“I never imagined I’d hear such words from you, let alone in a setting like this. I have spent so long keeping my emotions in check, I convinced myself that power and control were all that mattered. But you have managed to break through those barriers in ways I hadn’t thought anyone could.”

Madame shifted slightly in her seat, leaning back just enough to create a bit of distance, yet her eyes remained fixed on him with unwavering focus. Her fingers, previously interlaced, now rested lightly on top of his own hand, betraying the calm control she was trying to maintain. “Though I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, I . You’ve brought out parts of myself that I thought were hidden away, and yet you stand here, offering me your heart and your loyalty. I’ve been so scared to let anyone in, to risk the control I’ve worked so hard to build. But with you, I feel like I can let my guard down, even just a little. You’ve managed to make me feel something I thought I had left behind.”

She adjusted her posture, her movements deliberate and measured. Her fingers gently tapped the edge of the table, creating a subtle rhythm as she spoke. Her eyes locked onto his, a tender sincerity in her gaze. “You’ve captured something in me that I thought was lost forever. And for that, you have my heart in ways I don’t think anyone else ever could.”

Alastor’s gaze softened as he took in her words, a warm smile spreading across his face. “I’m deeply moved, mon chère,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “I’ve never felt anything like this before, not even in life. You’ve captured my heart in ways I never imagined possible.”

He took her hands in his, his eyes locked on hers. “Je t’aime plus que les mots ne peuvent le dire. You are everything to me, and I’m here for you, not just because I must be, but because I want to be. I will stand by your side through all of Hell’s chaos.”

As he spoke, he leaned in slowly, his breath mingling with hers. The space between them closed as he gently pressed his lips to hers, their kiss a tender promise of his unwavering devotion, and her promise to him, to begin opening up more, and letting herself be just that, herself.

[terrarain]

caught off-guard (by you)

character(s): shinsou hitoshi, takami keigo

summary: the thing that throws them off their usual game.

notes: reader's pronouns unspecified, brainrotting kei 'n toshi

word count: 785

ˏˋ°•*⁀☂ shinsou, hitoshi.

Hitoshi is a sarcastic guy who makes it his life-goal to have a dry reply to anything anybody says to him. He's awkward at handling compliments and always thinks that there's some kind of ulterior motive. He always tries to pick out the underlying meaning in the other party's words.

So it throws him for a loop whenever he's approached by people who just take him in stride. As expected in a world where quirks influence a lot of how the world perceives you, Hitoshi grew up under a lot of scrutiny. You throw him for a loop when he realizes that you questioning him about his quirk has nothing to do with you trying to feel him out, to understand how his quirk works so you can avoid him ever using it on you.

It's... nice. Flustering and maybe a bit uncomfortable (how in the world is he supposed to reply to your earnest gaze?), but it's nice.

Even further down the line, as you guys become friends, he's still thrown off when you're genuine to him. It's weird. It's... not unwelcome. Hitoshi's unaccustomed to people trusting in him - something that U.A. makes him accustomed to. (For the most part, anyways; it's hard to get rid of lingering doubts when they're so deeply rooted in him.)

Hitoshi tries to be all slick with his words once the two of you start dating. And, you know what? For the most part, he is. As he grows older, matures, he walks along the path of reconciling with himself. Hitoshi as an adult is more confident than teenage Hitoshi. He's surrounded himself with friends who take him in stride, he has you for a lover, who never lets him forget about how amazing he is.

Still. It's trivially easy for you to get the man stumbling over himself. Praise. Any praise from you has Hitoshi's head spinning. His mind reeling. It's a sure-fire way to get him flustered because, even though he's more confident now that he's older, there's still little thoughts that poke and prod at him unpleasantly every so often. Hitoshi wears a mask of cool indifference well but you know he's a big ol' softy beneath and crumbles to you easily.

Hitoshi is awkward, when he's caught off-guard. His mask of tired indifference slips and his heart flutters whenever you tell him that he did well and you're able to catch sight of the flush painting the tips of his ears red.

ˏˋ°•*⁀☂ takami, keigo.

So. Keigo. Casual and one who can go with the flow as needed - not a lot can fluster him. He's trained to keep his cool in every scenario possible. There's little to no hope of catching Keigo off-guard early on in your guys' relationship, because in the early stages? All of his walls are up. He's not letting anyone poke and prod at him for weaknesses.

For a while, you really do wonder if anything even fazes him. Is there anything that would make him bat an eye?

But, as you grow closer to him, you take notice of how much he actually speaks with his body. Words are one thing. Body language is another.

Touching comes easily to him - maybe a wing around your body to protect you from a particularly harsh wind. Maybe a warm, reassuring hand resting on your waist or shoulder. A little nuzzle of affection.

Even though he touches so casually, he's not as casual when it comes to being on the receiving end. The man is hopelessly weak to physical affection from you. It takes no time at all to get his wings flapping in excited, uncontrollable beats.

He's especially weak whenever you run your hand along his wings, tracing his feathers ever-so-gently. And he's obsessed with cuddling. He's an unexpectedly (or, perhaps, expectedly?) huge cuddle bug. Touch-starved, he gets drunk off of any moments you hold him.

When the two of you are officially together as lovers, it's hard for him to keep his hands off of you. He avoids PDA due to his job, since he doesn't want a target to get painted on your back - but behind doors, he's all over you.

Keigo doesn't really expect any of his actions to really be reciprocated. So when you do return his physical affections, he's not as slick and silver-tongued as he would like to be.

When you manage to get his guard down, Keigo is so, so vulnerable in a way that he really doesn't like to show others. His wings are a lot more active and flutter about aimlessly whenever you're returning one of his touches and he looks at you like you created the stars that are scattered about the night sky.

[sunlit-mess]

Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!

hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible

I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.

Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit

Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!

Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".

> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason

> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.

> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.

Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.

> I always do my best to think and be nice

> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so

> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting

Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.

Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)

Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.

Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.

Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.

What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—

(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)

[my-little-loverboy]

Mark me as yours

Kinktober day no. 4

“Are you okay..?” “Yes- well… No, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to help me.”

Pairing: Dan Heng il/cis fem sub reader

CWs: inhuman genitals, breeding, tiny amount of hurt/comfort (but mostly fluff)

AN: Reader is explicitly referred to as a girl, and I reference afab anatomy more than once, PLEASE keep this in mind. For @starrry-angel

Kinktober masterlist

Prior to the whole affair on the Luofu Dan Heng often swung between not needing affection and clinging to you like his life depended on it. He explained it as him occasionally realizing that he no longer has to just cope with his loneliness since he began dating you.

Since his return though, he’s been considerably more distant. For the first week or so you wrote it off as him recovering from an extremely stressful event. But as the days passed by and he became more and more distant, you found yourself worrying more.

That’s what led you to your current position, standing in front of the door to the archives. You speak softly as you start to open the door.

“… Dan Heng?”

The door to the archives was locked, and the light was off. Which was strange in its own right, as much as Dan Heng preferred people avoid hanging around in the archives; he never locked the door.

“Looking for Dan Heng? I saw him run off to his room a while back, his horns were all glowy too. It was really weird.”

Caelus’ voice knocked you out of your thoughts, only to confuse you even further.

“I didn’t know he had a room?”

“March said she’s only seen him go in there once since she’s been on the express. If you hear from him let me know he’s ok. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m mad at him? It’s the end of the hall on the 3rd train car.”

Caelus sighed and continued to wherever he was originally headed. It was hard not to sprint down the halls of the express as you made your way to his room. Worry for his well being seeping into you.

It was strange, listening to him pace around the room through the door. Its a noise you’d gotten accustomed to hearing late at night after he’d called you to his room hoping for company following one of many nightmares.

You raise your hand to knock, but before you can he locks it.

“Leave… please.”

The intended strength behind the words comes across more as a painful admittance then a command.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on, we don’t have to talk about it right now but… I just need to know that you’re okay.”

There’s an agonizingly long pause before you hear him sigh and unlock the door. Hesitating for a moment before pulling it open. He’s in his vidyadhara form, his tail flicking anxiously behind him as he watches you, his moments stiff.

“I’m… sorry.”

His voice is uncharacteristically shaky as he steps to the side, his room is barren of any identifying features. He hesitates after closing the door.

“Can I lock the door?”

You nod slowly and he does as he asked. Standing stock still in front of the now locked door, stepping back into it as you approach him slowly.

“Are you okay..?”

“Yes- well… No, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to help me.”

He tries to sink further into the wall as you step closer

“Please, Dan Heng. I just want to know what’s going on, I’m worried about you.”

He sighs and seems to look through you for a moment, before attempting to collect himself, though his voice continues its uneven tone.

“I’m a vidyadhara, you know that at this point… Despite not being physically able to reproduce we still have a… heat cycle. Mine is inconsistent because of my distance from the Luofu but…”

He squirms in place and looks away from you.

“My instincts are convinced you’re my mate, and with my heat cycle starting I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable...”

“What if I want to be your mate?”

He looks nothing short of appalled, and you watch a series of micro expressions flicker across his face in quick succession before he’s clinging to you. Mumbling an apology into your chest as he picks you up.

You feel his chest rumble as you return the hug, piecing together that he was purring as he set you gingerly on his bed. Situation himself between your legs as he looks at you for any signs of resistance once more. The corners of his mouth pulling into a small smile when there is none.

The weight of his tail wrapping itself around your waist is a comforting pressure as he nuzzles into your neck. Purring as he bites your shoulder gently. His sharp canines digging into the soft flesh just enough to leave a mark.

“I’m sorry for my impatience I… I’ve missed you and I…”

He hesitates and buries his face back into your neck for a moment.

“I need to feel you. I’ve been waiting so long to claim you as mine and now that you’re here I can’t wait anymore.”

He shudders and kisses you as his movements become less restrained, quickly pulling off your loose shirt along with his own. Every action drips with desperation as he pulls you impossibly closer.

“Can I touch you..?”

Your voice seems to pull him out of his haze and he leans back far enough for you to be able to admire him. His lithe frame speckled with small scales.

Pulling his underwear down you were met with an interesting sight.

You hadn’t thought very hard about the draconic features of the Vidyadhara, and in hindsight you kinda wish you had. Watching the pair of slick, semi translucent dicks slide out of the scaled slit on Dan Heng’s body as he squirmed under your gaze was certainly an interesting experience.

He didn’t give you long to think about it though as he gently pushed you back down onto the bed. Moving your underwear to the side enough to push his fingers past your slick folds. His thumb toying with your clit as he worked you open for him.

After he decided you were prepared enough he pulled his fingers out of you, licking your slick off of his fingers with his long, forked tongue. As you watched him clean his digits your brain provided you with the lovely image that was said tongue licking eagerly at your drooling slit.

All coherent thought was pushed from your brain as Dan Heng pressed the tip of one of his cocks against your eager hole, purring into your shoulder as he sunk into you inch by inch. His other cock bumping your clit as he bottomed out, his entire body tense above you as he waited for you to adjust.

He groaned into your chest as he began to move, mumbling into soft flesh as he rolled his hips against yours.

“I can’t wait to fuck you full of my kin, you’ll be good and take it right?”

© pvbbyboy •• 2023 •• Please do not translate/repost. reblogs are appreciated and requests are open!

~~

Taglist: @yarnnerdally • @yeonpm

Wanna be added? Send me an ask off anon and lmk if you want to be on the sfw only list!

[futbol16]

Closer  • Ona Batlle

This is very long, I’m sorry about that but I hope you’ll like it!

Request: Hi! I have a request for an Ona fic,, I was thinking maybe reader has been touch deprived and doesn’t get much physical contact, like hugs or even small gestures like a hand on the back or shoulder. And so Ona notices this about reader, who can seem a bit awkward with physical encounters with others, but when it comes to ona reader warms up and learns that’s it’s okay and she feels safe and understood by Ona. I hope this makes sense lol and I also hope it’s not too much haha!

Word count: 4,2k

You were startled by a body crashing into you suddenly, but before she could fall to your feet you caught her by her arms. Maya giggled up at you and the younger girl moved to hug you, now sticking her tongue out at Millie. 

“Hey Maya” you greeted her, your lips pulled into a line as you slowly tried to pry her arms off you. That didn’t work as she only beamed at you, holding on even tighter. You cleared your throat, uncomfortably looking up at Millie for help as you tapped Maya’s back. 

Millie noticed the sign and in a matter of seconds managed to untangle the brunette from you and she threw Maya over her shoulder as the girl laughed loudly, far too distracted to have realized your discomfort. You send Millie a grateful smile but it wasn’t only the blonde who had noticed your tolerance running out.

 Another defender witnessed the scene and although you had handled the situation in a way to not hurt Maya, Ona still frowned at your obvious discomfort. Your eyes connected with hers and you gave her a small smile as your face started to burn. She always had that effect on you and in this moment you hoped that’s what she was looking at rather than the embarrassing situation you found yourself in just moments ago. She sends you a smile of her own, that big goofy smile you adored so much and your shoulders drop from their tensed position. 

From then on it was like you were a magnet for Ona’s eyes every time you got close to someone, she was curious as to why you subtly pulled away from people when they reached for you. You weren’t rude about it, you allowed them to touch you but only for so long before you’d scoot away or bring up a topic and distract them with that while you’d step back from them. The polite smile remained on your face throughout all of it, but the slight panic in your eyes was noticeable to anyone paying a little more attention.

 Ona had been paying attention, so much so that Vilde had been teasing her about stalking you. The Norwegian was convinced the defender was in love with you. 

Ona, however, was less than bothered by her teasing, she had thought her infatuation with you had been clear as day. And she was more focused on the small crease in your forehead that would appear in your distressed state. 

It was a mystery to her as to why you were so uncomfortable with physical touch, a mystery she wanted to solve.

You knew about your dislike for touch, it had been pretty clear since you were a young child. The simple answer as to why, was your parents didn’t possess the love language of physical touch, it wasn’t a necessary thing in their book. You had missed out on hugs, kisses on the forehead or even a small touch on the back. You weren’t used to actions like that because you didn’t grow up with them, they were, in a sense foreign to you, alien.

 It’s why later on when your parents were told that a young child would have needed their love in the form of hugs as well, they just thought you didn’t want them. After all the years, you had grown accustomed to not receiving such things when your friends had and you figured they were just different, so you’d pull away when people would get too close. 

At first you were jealous, maybe even a bit hurt when you’d see your friend's parents being affectionate with them, but as the years went by you came to the conclusion that you didn’t need that type of affection. So when you made friends with people who were openly affectionate with each other, your solution was to pull away, turn your back to the open arms. 

Affectionate touch was a new feeling and you didn’t like that because your parents didn’t like it either. 

You loved your friends, you truly did. They were your family too, but you couldn’t help the way you would gently push them off you when they were too close for too long. Ona knew you meant no harm with it, the look in your eyes told her and as she watched you continuously simply high five your friends when they went in for a hug, she realized this was like a program in your brain. It looked like you were on autopilot just ducking out of people’s arms with that same polite yet awkward smile on your face. 

She wanted to figure out what was going on, she wanted her puzzle solved. 

“Hola” the Spaniard’s voice rang out as she plopped down beside you.

“Hola” you replied in a similar manner as you gave her a smile, Ona flashing you her own grin at your use of her mother tongue. You had been sitting by the window of the relaxation room, your gaze set on the darkening sky and Ona thought this would be the perfect moment to get her answers.

“Are you going to visit your family during the international break?” she got the long sentence out in a single breath as she studied your face. You shrugged at her as you started thinking over her question, not realizing the Spanish girl’s hand slowly inching towards your’s on the sofa pillow you were resting it on.

“I think so, maybe. Are you?” you turned back to her only for your eyes to immediately jump to where her fingers grazed over your own. You stared at the closeness of her hand for a bit, her index finger was almost resting against yours and the fingers next to it were millimeters away from touching you. Ona’s voice brought you back to reality.

“Sí, I’m going to visit my brother in Switzerland.” she nodded along to her words, acting like she hadn’t seen you intently staring at the two of your hands. You contemplated slowly sliding your hand away and crossing your arm over yourself, a way to prevent any possible physical closeness.

 That thought disappeared from your head for some reason and your cheek flushed a light pink as you allowed her to softly intervene your fingers. Ona was careful to not hold your hand just yet, wanting to make sure you would be comfortable with her actions because she knew from previous situations that you would instantly pull away.

 However, that wasn’t what was happening right now, in fact your finger was subconsciously moving up and down in a caressing way against her own hand as you continued the conversation. She held her breath for a second, waiting for you to realize what you were doing but when you didn’t she let out that breath and leaned back, deciding to relish in the gentle action.

“You’re very close with your brother, right?” she nodded again in thought. She knew you were an only child so this was her chance at getting that missing puzzle piece.

“What about you? Are you close with your parents?” once again you shrugged in that uncomfortable manner of yours, exhaling as your head slightly dropped back on the cushion. 

“No, not really.” the brunette frowned.

“Why not?” she winced, maybe she was overstepping here but when you shrugged at her she knew you’d eventually say something. You always did that, shrug before answering.

“I don’t know, I guess” you paused for a second, wondering how to phrase it. It wasn’t like it was a secret to you so maybe it wasn’t to others either. “I guess they had a different idea of love than I did.” another shrug, you chewed on the inside of your cheek in sudden discomfort.

“And what is that?” she knew she pushed you too much when you instantly retracted your hand, playing it off as scratching your head before you crossed your arms over your chest. There it is, her missing puzzle piece.

“I don’t know.” you stayed quiet after that, eyes set on the tiled floor as your foot tapped away. A moment later you stood up, shooting Ona that same smile, your lips pulled into a straight line before excusing yourself.

 Again, you looked like you were on autopilot, pulling away when someone got too close. She sighed at that but noted her small success, you had allowed her to hold your hand for a few minutes. That never happened with any of your friends before, you’d pull away after a couple of seconds. 

The wide grin was back on her face, replaying the moment in her head over and over again.

“Damn chica” someone whistled from behind her and she looked back to see Lucía. “You’re our new record holder”

“What?” she furrowed her eyebrows not getting the hint.

“Our record. We have a record for how long Y/N would last with someone touching her.” she explained and Ona’s eyes saddened at the idea. “It started out as a joke, really, but the longest she had held on for was 5 seconds, Mary’s record and even that was only because she put her in a headlock. You got a whole 2 minutes Onita”

“That’s mean” she declared to her fellow Spaniard, huffing at the confused look on Lucía’s face. “You shouldn’t make fun of someone’s discomfort”

“Ona, come on, it’s not like that” but she was already out the door. 

Ona had a plan, she wanted to try to get you to be comfortable with the physical closeness. She wasn’t sure it was a good idea because she didn’t want to push you and make you even more distant, but you proved this fear of hers wrong.

The next couple of days Ona tried to subtly get closer to you. She’d fist bump you every morning when you arrived at the training ground, would somehow manage to have your hands touching all throughout team lunches and much to her surprise, you had even allowed her to hug you in celebration in game after your goal.

You had noticed the slight change in behavior but you welcomed it with open arms, in a sense. Although the feeling of someone being physically close to you for as long as you let Ona be irritated you, for some reason it was the complete opposite when it was Ona touching you. Her touch sent shivers down your back, good shivers and you missed her warmth instantly after she’d pull away from a celebratory hug.

 It was strange, you had always hated all these things she was doing but now you wanted them, you could almost say you craved them. The inner conflict in your head was killing you. You wanted her close to you, you enjoyed the burning of your cheeks when her hand would touch yours and you liked the fuzzy feeling in your stomach, but it was all new and you had no idea how to handle it.

It was a week later after another victorious game, that Ona found you sitting outside near the pitch. You were just finishing your conversation with Nikita when she took a seat beside you. You turned your attention to the Spaniard once Nikita went to get changed and you gave Ona a small smile.

“Good game, you played well” she praised you, her eyes crinkling with a smile. A slight red tint made itself known on your cheeks as you bashfully smiled.

“Thank you, so did you” you spoke and looked back out onto the field. Ona remained seated next to you quietly talking about whatever but your thoughts were elsewhere. You could feel the heat radiating off her, her warmth that was so welcoming. It was like it was beckoning you to move closer, but you fought it.

 You didn’t know what these feelings were, why you suddenly craved her touch so much and you thought it was weird, she’d think you were weird. But you wanted to feel her close to you so bad, she was always so comforting. You slowly leaned back and slid lower on your seat until you were at the height of her shoulder. You were so close, you wanted to do it but once again you contemplated. 

You glanced back at Ona as she continued talking, catching words from what she was saying but you got distracted again as she moved her arm. Her arm was now touching yours and as much as you wanted to be close to her, it seemed like this wasn’t quite enough. Her slight touch only fueled your craving for her warmth and before you can stop yourself you lean your head onto her shoulder.

Ona quietens down as she looks at you, a wide smile slowly forming on her lips. Her plan was totally working, you were enjoying physical touch. You took her silence as discomfort.

“I’m sorry-” you were about to lift your head off her shoulder but Ona cut you off as she gently nudged your head back onto her shoulder before leaning her head on top.

“No, stay” she muttered quietly and you were grateful that in her position she wouldn’t be able to see the burning of your cheeks. Ona smiled to herself even more, her arm making its way around your own shoulders as she took in your scent. She was a very affectionate person having grown up in Spain where it was the norm. But no person’s closeness had ever brought her as much peace as yours, she knew her heart cared for you more than she let on. 

The two of you sat like that for the next few minutes enveloped in a comfortable silence as you watched the fans slowly filter out of the stadium. It wasn’t until you were called into the changing room that you realized you had reached for Ona’s hand and had been holding onto it. You ducked your head in embarrassment but Ona assured you it was okay with a squeeze to your hand. 

You were going crazy for the Spaniard, but you no longer fought your urge to be close to her. Whenever she was close enough and allowed you to, you’d find a way to somehow be touching even if it was just your pinkies resting next to each other. 

Ona loved it, she loved how comfortable you were with her now and she would never deny you of her affection, not when she wanted you close just as much. 

“You’re going to have to tell her at one point” Vilde scared her out of her staring at you and she shot the Norwegian a look. Vilde shrugged, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

“What are you talking about?” Ona knew it was a stupid question but she didn’t want to play into it if it was only one of Vilde’s games.

“You know what I’m talking about” she chuckled at the defender. “You’re so in love with Y/N, when are you finally going to tell her?”

Ona lowered her head slightly as a smile tugged at her lips, it happened every time you were mentioned. She bit her lip in thought.

“I don’t know, it’s not that easy”

“Yes it is, she’s totally in love with you too” Vilde shoved her shoulder excitedly, urging her friend to make a move on you. Ona rolled her eyes though the tips of her ears turned a bright red as she blushed. “There you go!”

“No I don’t” Ona shot her another look before sighing. “I will, I just don’t know how” 

Wrong thing to say because instantly Vilde was tugging her down to sit next to her before she animatedly started forming a plan for the younger brunette. Ona listened to her though, furrowing her eyebrows at the cliché movie scene Vilde was describing before the girl ended her rant.

“You guys would be perfect for each other” she squealed, almost more enthusiastic than Ona. The Spaniard thanked her friend but she knew she would likely not try to reenact whatever movie Vilde had been explaining to her, she’d have her own way to confess. She had to make another plan for that, she was a girl with many plans after all.

Ona finds herself roaming the corridor of the stadium in search of you. She knew where to find you, but she was giving herself time to think about how to do this. She’s been trying to confess her feelings to you for the past week but it never felt like the right moment and when it did, she just chickened out. 

This might be it though, she knew you were the only one in the changing room because the others were either still playing or already sat out on the bench. You had only been subbed off a bit ago, Ona not long after and she’d make use of this moment.

Finally with one last breath she pushed the door of the visitors locker room open. Instantly her breath got caught in her throat. There you were, sat at your spot freshly showered and in a Man United hoodie.

 Your hair was still wet from your shower, messily combed over your shoulders and you still haven’t pulled your sneakers on properly, but to Ona you looked more beautiful than ever. In your relaxed state, her favorite look, you hadn’t noticed her presence until she once again sat beside you. It was a recurring scene at this point. 

You glanced at her as you struggled to pull on your shoes, too lazy to untie the laces and Ona laughed at your struggle.

“S’not funny” you got out, finally pushing your foot into place and you exhaled. Ona gave you an amused look as you turned to her, ready to talk to her.

“What about the other one?” she nodded her chin to your shoe and you shrugged at her, scratching your head.

“I don’t know where that went” she gave you a confused look.

“What, did it run away or something?” she chuckled at her own joke and your lips ticked upwards at the sound.

“No, I was in a hurry to shower and it flew out of my bag when I got my hoodie out” you explained and Ona once again chuckled at you, amusedly cocking her head to the side at your little story. You stared after her confused when she suddenly got up walking towards the far end of the changing room. 

“Nice distance you got there” she held up your other sneaker, joining in on your laughter and she started undoing the laces as she slowly walked back towards you. 

“You did very well today Ona, I really liked that one tackle you did” you spoke truthfully, trying to remember who the tackle was performed on, missing the adoring look Ona gave you. Her eyes softened as you complimented her, that lopsided grin stretching across her face. 

“The slide tackle?” she interrupted. You enthusiastically nodded at her as she stepped in between your legs and handed you your shoe.

“Yeah, that one!” you fiddled with the shoe in your hand, suddenly very aware of just how close she was to you. You had been this close to Ona before, it was familiar by now but the tension that hung in the air was different. It felt more intimate.

“You were very good too, hermosa” she spoke softly, quieter than you had, making her words reach deeper parts of your heart. Your Spanish knowledge might be limited but you knew that one. The pet name made you blush and slightly lower your head. Ona leaned over you a bit, about to press her lips against your hairline in a moment of pride and fondness but you jerked back. 

“What are you doing?” your eyes were wide in fright at the new feeling and Ona leaned back a bit, giving you the space she thought you needed. She nervously cleared her throat thinking she overstepped and this would make you pull away from her and you’d be back to square one. 

Still, there was a curious look in your eyes as you stared back into hers.

“I’m giving you a kiss” she let you know, but the confusion was still evident on your face. You seemed deep in thought again, no doubt thinking over whether you’ve gotten one before. “This is a kiss, was going to be a kiss I mean. A kiss is-”

“I know what a kiss is, I’m not an idiot!” you cut off her explanation, suddenly feeling defensive at the fact that you’ve just embarrassed yourself and ruined the moment. You didn’t know how to react. Ona was rather taken aback by the tone of your voice but as you defeatedly exhaled and leaned back in your seat, her face softened in realization again. 

She slowly stepped back between your legs, her fingers gently grazing over the top of your thighs to bring your attention back to her. She paused for a moment as you met her gaze, both your eyes holding so much affection and emotion. 

“Do you know what a kiss feels like?” she carefully asked, her voice coming out in a low but soft tone, one that warmed you. You sat up straighter, effectively bringing the two of you closer as you slowly shook your head. 

Ona’s hand found yours wanting to give you some comfort and you gratefully laced your fingers together, much more confident in your actions than you once were. She smiled down at you, that soft but big smile of hers that you loved so much but in this moment you only stared at her in confusion, a ghost of a smile on your face as you tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Can I give you a kiss?” her question knocked the air out of your lungs, face burning a bright red as your eyes jumped across her face, the sight of her adorable freckles calming you somewhat. Ona’s own face flushed as she waited for an answer, nervously fiddling with your fingers with one hand. 

“What?” you were caught off guard by her question. It was not what you expected her to say but her physical closeness was once again calling out for you. Ona’s palms started sweating fearing the inevitable, you were going to reject her.

“I’m sorry, just forget it” she spoke hurriedly, just about to pull her hand away but you kept a firm yet gentle hold on it. 

“Repeat it Ona” you nodded at her, squeezing her fingers. “Please”

She took a deep breath. It seemed like the roles were reversed compared to that one evening where she first held your hand. Now she was the nervous wreck while you looked collected, but inside that was far from the truth.

“Can I give you a kiss?” she repeated unsurely, this time quieter than the first time and you gave her a nod, a soft smile brightening your features. She gave you her own toothy grin when she realized you wanted it just as much as she did.

“Yes” you confirmed and Ona leaned over again, her other hand, the one not holding yours reached out and delicately cupped your jaw. She paused for a second, wanting to soak in the feeling and gazed deeply into your own eyes, both your mouths parted in anticipation, warm breaths mixing together and then finally she pressed her lips to yours. 

You sighed into the feel of her soft lips on yours, her closeness bringing you a sense of calm and the once unsure kiss turned into more as you leaned forward to deepen it and melted into her. Your shoe long forgotten as it rolls off your lap. Ona willed herself to not smile into the kiss wanting to keep kissing and as your other hand reached out for her waist to get her even closer, she straddled your legs. You pulled away for a second, panting and Ona’s eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of discomfort but she found none as you stared back at her with a lovestruck look. 

You pulled her back in and Ona immediately complied, her hands finding their way into your damp hair while your arms circled her waist to keep her as close as possible.

A loud squeal interrupted the two of you and the pair of you looked towards the source, the voice echoing off the walls of the door. 

“She did it! She finally did it!” Vilde’s screeching could be heard outside the door while the rest of the girls were questioning her about what she saw.

 A giggle escaped your mouth at the noises and Ona looked down at you, her hands now resting on your shoulders. The big smile on your face was hard to miss as you turned back to her and Ona giggled at the look on your face as she leaned her forehead onto yours. 

You found your person, the one who made you feel comfortable with affection, the one you would never pull away from. There was no doubt in your mind that Ona was your one and only, and the Spaniard felt the same if the love in her eyes was anything to go by.

[stargirlfics]

hello gorgeous friend, stopping by ask - what do you think Alfred’s love languages are (for both giving and receiving?) I always love your thots and ideas so much (and I hope your day has been good to you!! 💖)

Hi, J!! You are so sweet and I hope the day treats you well also! 💌 Love you sm!

Omg now as for love languages?! I loveee thinking about Alfred’s! To me he’s a character that has a lot of love to give under the surface and loves the people that he does with his whole heart so I have some thoughts about this let’s go

GIVING

Acts of Service

This one for sure. Alfred notices the little things and would quickly get accustomed to all your routine’s, finding that he doesn’t mind going out of his way to do things that make your daily life easier even if it’s something small. If he can take some of the stress and workload off you, he’s all about it and likes doing things for you so that you can focus on having time for yourself or just to have one less thing to do or worry about!

You know that he’s always someone you can count on to help you with a task or getting something done, he’s handy and likes to feel useful and it makes him happy to know you feel that he can help you with anything 💕

Physical Touch

This one is more unassuming for Alfred because he’s so polite and respectful outwardly, always the gentleman figure and very proper so one would think he wouldn’t have much of a thing for showing affection physically and he is more reserved with PDA but when it’s just you and him in the privacy of home, he is ALL OVER YOU and nobody can change my mind!

Alfred is a cuddler end of story. I really do think he would want to have you close to him a lot of the time. Lots of passing touches and kisses, lots of bids for connection and he simply can’t say no when you ask for a hug or for him to hold you for a bit 🥺 he likes to hold your hand and doesn’t even really notice just how much he reaches for you when you’re near, the domesticity of it is where it’s at for him

RECEIVING

Quality Time

I think is Alfred’s main love language. Maybe he always feels a little bit like he doesn’t ever get enough time with the people he cares about which is a circle that is so few to begin with so he really cherishes any time he gets to spend with loved ones.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or what’s going on, as long as you’re together and he gets to be next to you sharing space, he’s going to be happy. There’s a lot of things in his life he deems important and one of those things is prioritizing time to spend with you, it’s like he needs it especially when he’s having a busy week

Spending time with you is his way of winding down and decompressing. There’s so much comfort in this love language for him!

Words of Affirmation

I also think he likes a bit of this one also. He would probably say he’s not the best at talking or knowing what to say especially when it comes to relationships (these are silly old man self doubts though) so I think it would be a gentle reminder or source of comfort for him to receive words of affirmation from a partner.

He finds it to be an anchoring point for him, your opinions and encouragements, reassurances too are something he comes back to frequently and he just loves hearing nice things from you, it can really make his whole day!

Please the way I am so soft thinking about this now ahhh, thank you for asking this cause I loved exploring it! And thank you for always loving my ideas for him, my friend! 💓

[hazsofties]

Vox, Adam, Alastor, Vaggie and Emily React To Reader Happy Stimming X Gender Neutral Reader (Romantic)

Minors & pro/shippers DNI!

Vox

Initially, when you start dating, you're really nervous about letting Vox see you stim. Others have seen you as childish for it or annoying, and the last thing you want is for Vox to see you the same way.

The first time you happy stim in front of Vox, it's by complete accident. Something romantic he said or did made it difficult for you to help yourself. You expect him to tease you when he laughs but, soon, you realize it's because he's charmed, Vox saying, "I'm glad it makes you so happy, dear. I didn't know you stimmed!"

Vox ensures you understand he won't ever tease you for it, and that he is completely fine with you stimming around him. If anything he encourages it, getting a kick out of making you so joyful.

Vox is shy about stimming in public but, in private, seeing you stim makes him feel more comfortable stimming as well. It's shocking to see at first, but you're just so glad he trusts you that much.

Whenever you seem nervous letting yourself stim, Vox gives you extra kisses and physical affection to encourage you. If you're not a fan of either, he gives verbal praise and encouragement.

If anyone makes rude comments about your happy stimming, Vox gives them a sharp look that shuts them up immediately.

Adam

Adam was aware of your happy stimming before you started dating. Though you initially held back, Adam made it his mission to make you so happy that you couldn't anymore. He saw you finally happy stimming as a victory, and the amount of joy he showed towards it made you more comfortable stimming around him in the future.

Whenever it feels like you're holding back, he makes it a sport to encourage you to happy stim. It genuinely brings him so much joy to see.

Initially, you only stim around him, but Adam does his best to make you feel safe stimming whenever he's around. He promises you, "Babe, if anyone's mean I'll totally handle it. So just relax!"

Adam is extremely proactive in ensuring you feel comfortable to happy stim. It doesn't matter if it's one of his friends, if anyone makes you feel self conscious, he tells them off.

Whenever someone gives you weird looks or makes weird comments about you stimming, Adam gets directly in their face. He says things like, "What do you have against my partner being happy, hm? Do you not like it when people smile either?"

Adam flaps his wings whenever you happy stim, and has to stop himself from hugging you, as your joy is infectious.

Alastor

You're very nervous to stim around Alastor even when you start dating him, unsure if he'll understand what it means.

Yet, when you do happy stim around Alastor for the first time, he just smiles and says, "Does that mean you're happy, dear? That's adorable".

You explain stimming to him, and he's completely accepting of it, telling you that you don't need to hold back around him. "I want you to be happy, dear. And if that makes you happy, you should do it," he tells you.

The more Alastor gets accustomed to your stimming, the more he begins to mimic you. It's not to mock you, he assures you he'd never do anything of the sort, he's just curious and actually seems to enjoy it.

Better understanding stimming through you makes Alastor more comfortable allowing himself to stim as well, and you're so glad to see it. He often does this through flicking his ears or waving his hands.

If anyone is ever mean to you about it, Alastor tells them they're being rude and to mind their own business.

Vaggie

Vaggie has always encouraged you to just be yourself so, when you start dating, you begin happy stimming around her.

She is always delighted whenever you are comfortable enough to happy stim with her, and it genuinely puts a smile on her face.

If you ever feel self conscious about your happy stimming and fear it's too much, she tells you, "Hun, no. You're never too much. It's okay to be happy and to show this in your own way. It's beautiful, you're beautiful".

She encourages the others to say positive things whenever you happy stim as well so you feel comfortable doing so at the hotel. She points out to you that you confidently stimming will encourage the others to be comfortable doing the same.

She loves when you happy stim after you hug, kiss, or, if you don't like physical affection, she tells you she loves you.

Vaggie is very protective of you, and not afraid to tell anyone off that makes you uncomfortable about happy stimming.

Emily

You've always felt comfortable stimming around Emily, seeing as Emily is very open about stimming herself.

Whenever you happy stim, Emily is elated and starts happy stimming along with you!

If you live in Heaven, Emily promises no one will be mean to you about you stimming. If you're not from Heaven, Emily gives you a safe space to stim around her.

She pays attention to the topics and things that make you happy stim the most, saving them for later.

Emily often compliments you on your happy stims, letting you know just how much joy they put out into the world and put into her life.

If anyone is mean or rude about your stimming, Emily tells you, "they're just a joyless, grumpy person! Ignore them".

[dissociacrip]

this turned into a long adhd rant whoopsie

it really does suck how people seem to downplay autism and adhd now lol. autism has been reduced to people who can mask and have low support needs and adhd hasn't really changed from its status as a joke.

i don't talk about adhd much but it probably gets in the way of me being able to function just as much, if not more than autism does (in my personal situation) when it comes to mental disability. not showering enough. not cooking. not cleaning my living space properly. forgetting to brush my teeth. dishes sitting in the sink for so long they start getting moldy. only being able to maybe do 1-3 tasks a day maximum because my brain can't organize itself enough to do more than that. difficulty committing to things and being consistent in overarching ways. being late to things a lot. highly impaired verbal recall so i forget things people say to me, forget verbal instructions, etc. on top of the other acutely stressful situations that come with memory and regulating my attention span (e.g. locking my keys in my car or locking myself out of my house when i have a very limited support network to remediate those situations.)

my meds barely touch this stuff for me and i'm not especially inclined to increase the dosage after bordering on psychosis when i was taking 40mg of vyvanse. i've just become so accustomed to living the way that i do (because my case is pretty bad afaik) so i can't just will myself to be another way. any efforts i make to change or be more organized and routine and consistent end up getting dashed away because i just cannot do it lol. my shit just doesn't work. adhd is a massive barrier between me and being a functioning person or being able to take care of myself. i'm pretty sure would still be a "gross" and unpalatable disabled person even if my muscles worked and i didn't have POTS/etc. that also get in the way of my hygiene and the cleanliness of my living space.

that doesn't even go into how other people react to it. a good chunk of physical and verbal abuse i faced from my family as a child was related to my adhd symptoms. i was diagnosed at a young age but my parents "forgot" it happened and it was never addressed otherwise. i got constantly called disgusting for my hygiene problems and was threatened with violence over it (on top of the times where i was actually getting assaulted.) people take my impaired verbal recall and lack of impulse control irt accidentally cutting people off or interrupting them personally, accusing me of not caring enough when it's something that is extremely difficult to be aware of or manage when adhd is a condition that distinctly involves impaired awareness of your own behavior.

so when i see shit like "just set alarms" or anything else that amounts to "you're not trying hard enough" or adhd not very much being a disability, especially when it's coming from other people w/ adhd, it kinda makes me wanna stab things with knives.

sure, it's not the worst condition ever, but just like most other disabilities, the way it affects everyone who is it is different and some are gonna be able to manage it better than others. sure, there a lot of really fucking annoying people (usually able-bodied) w/ adhd on social media that have large platforms and who very often profit from or encourage liberal pop psych bullshit when it comes to adhd, but it's still very much a disability. it can affect hygiene. it can affect employment or otherwise means of earning an income. it can affect our social lives and whether we have a support system. it can affect whether someone can keep their house from getting infested with bugs or mold. it is very much something that causes dysfunction in ways that aren't nearly as cutesy as the little comics you might see on instagram are drawn.

just remember that.

[mysadcorner]

DC Characters x Reader Killing A Villain Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owners - Please be specific about characters wanted for requests -

Masterlist Navigation

Tag list: @simligul

Damian Wayne

• Damian has seen you in a variety of situations, so when it finally comes around to you killing a villain he isn’t that surprised ( he’s wanted to do it many times before). He would be more worried about you and your state of mind in the moment, and probably whatever physical wounds you may also have.

• If Damian had a different thought process he certainly wouldn’t think of the situation as lightly; however, he’s done many things in his past so this doesn’t hold as much weight to him as it probably would go someone else. He’d prefer you not to have done this, but he’s fully aware that it can’t be helped sometimes.

• Damian himself would probably also kill a villain if it came to that situation and it wouldn’t traumatised him too much. He thinks quite a bit and has a plan figured out just in the case of this ever needing to happen, and after the upbringing he’s had he is well prepared for these kinds of circumstances.

• Damian would try to stop the people around you from trying to make you feel bad or guilt about what you did unless he truly felt that you were in the wrong. No matter who dislikes him when he defends you on this matter, he’ll always stick by you.

• If your killing of a certain vilain caused other villains to come after you then he would protect you with his life. He’d hide you and keep you safe for as long as possible and take out any potential threats along the way just to make sure everything goes back to how it once was.

Jason Todd

• Jason wouldn’t think too much of it at first as he’s used to doing it on a frequent basis, just like how he’s used to seeing severe violence around him very often. Although, if you were showing signs of extreme distress in doing so or being affected by something then he’d immediately try to calm the situation down.

• If this is something you don’t usually do then he’d find it very concerning for you to have done so, and would be very worried about the impact this may have on you. He’d also probably react the best to this situation and stop you from feeling bad in comparison to anyone else who may know about it.

• Killing a villain is something Jason is very accustomed to and does on a regular basis. He hates that some people in the world have been let go and are able to hurt people so often so he definitely thinks that you’re doing the world a favour when you do this, just as he does when he does it himself.

• Jason becomes very defensive regarding you if you’re getting negative attention because of this. As he does this himself quite often he very much agrees with your actions no matter your reasoning, so seeing people act this way also feels like a personal attack on himself.

• Similarly to Damian, Jason would protect you with his life if vilains were to come after you for this. Except the main difference would be his anger, he’d be relentless in his retaliation to these villains and none of them would be able to escape the justice he serves.

Rachel Roth

• No matter how many times she goes out to fight a villain she never expects anyone to actually be killed in doing so. Whether it’s your direct actions that cause it or simple influence it would definitely shock her for a little while.

• She doesn’t see this very often, so she finds it shocking that it’s happened just like the people she’s usually with would. She would never purposefully do this behaviour herself, but Raven also wouldn’t judge you if you had to do it.

• Raven wouldn’t willing kill a villain herself if the situation came up, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t happen by accident or in self defence. Even if this is something you regularly do, she wouldn’t adopt your ways for herself due to her own moral beliefs.

• Raven would try to defend you if the people who are close to her start treating you differently because you killed a certain villain; however, this may vary depending on whether she agrees with them or not. If she doesn’t agree with you then she would find it very hard to be on your side.

• She would do her best to get you to a safe place and keep you out of dangers with the help of others if she’s able to. Immediately she lets everyone know that you’re in danger and tries to get as many people as she can along side the two of you as a team in order to protect you.

Conner Kent

• Conner’s mood would completely change from the second he sees this. He isn’t the most experienced of heroes or fighters, and certainly has many years in the future to continue to experience both good and bad things, so when he sees this it’s like nothing he’s ever witnessed before.

• Conner may not understand your reasoning for drilling the villain at first, and even if it was justified he’d still need to think about it. He wouldn’t try to remind you of it or make you feel bad, but if you don’t typically do this then he would bring it up until he understands why.

• He wouldn’t openly kill a villain for no reason, but when he has no other choice but to do so then he certainly wouldn’t regret it. It would stay on his mind, although he wouldn’t then be open to doing it more often than he has to.

• Even if he doesn’t agree with the killing of the villain, he would still try to defend you. You’re a good friends and he can see past your actions when others can’t if he knows that it won’t change you into a worse kind of person and it wouldn’t be a regular thing.

• Conner may end up being out of control when he’s trying to prevent other villains from getting to you. He’s well aware of how they lack morals and care about who they hurt so protecting you from their dangers of revenge would be his top priority until it’s over with.

Bruce Wayne

• Killing a villain in front of Bruce would definitely strike a chord within him, but he wouldn’t really have the typical reaction you would expect. Depending on the circumstances he would either be worried or disappointed, but his regret for not stopping you sooner would be there no matter what.

• Bruce is very much against killing even if the person was a villain, so he would be quite strained towards you because of this. He doesn’t understand those who do things like this even though quite a few of the people around him do, it’s a big part of the philosophy he sticks to.

• Bruce would never be okay with doing this no matter how much he’s going through. He’s too influenced by his past and the things that he believes in, so even if you were justified in killing a villain he would never willing do so himself.

• Bruce would try his best to convince others not to be too hard on you. However, he may act like everyone else and be cold towards you for quite some time before this happens. He can’t help but see you differently as he doesn’t agree with what you’ve done at all.

• Bruce and everyone he’s affiliated with would do everything in their power to take down a group that was bothering you after you killed a villain. Even if he isn’t on hood terms with you, if he knew that you were in danger and didn’t have bad intent then he’d try his best for you always.

Clark Kent

• This is one of the last things he’d ever want. However, Clark is very aware of the pain and damage these villains have caused to you and everyone else, so he isn’t too hard on you about the whole situation if it was done for a justifiable reason.

• Clark doesn’t typically believe in killing villains, but he certainly wouldn’t refuse to do it in an extreme situation. He knows how terrible some people can be and the harm they can do, so if it’s something big or personal then he wouldn’t be too opposed to your act.

• Clark prefers to be seen as the hood guy who helps people so he always tries to minimise the amount of times he kills a villain, although he does have a lot of strength that can get out of hand if he isn’t careful. He also realises that things can happen without them meaning too, so although he doesn’t go out and seek to kill a vilain he wouldn’t be completely against the concept.

• You’re going to be defended by Clark no matter what happens. Even if the others decide to cast you out of the group then he would try to make it as gentle as possible and would make things as easy and calm for you as possible.

• Clark is one of the best people you could ever ask to protect you not only because of his powers but also because of how much he cares. He has a deep feeling and responsibility to look after those who are vulnerable around him, and this combined with his abilities, means that you probably couldn’t be safer anywhere else.

Barry Allen

• Barry would be very surprised and his easy and light mood would turn into a much calmer and gentle one. He doesn’t want you to feel bad for what you’ve done no matter how justified it was, as he himself has had to see others make really tough decisions with harsh consequences.

• Barry wouldn’t think of you any differently if you had to kill a villain, and wouldn’t associate you with your actions as long as they were done without bad intent. If it was a genuine reason then he could understand and look past it even if others may think differently.

• He’s still on the good side so killing a villain wouldn’t be something he would openly do or take with pride. He’d only do such a thing if he had no better choice or was doing so in self defence, in situations like these he would always try to avoid it as much as possible.

• Barry would try his best to keep the peace between everyone and stop any further disagreements from happening. Even if you were in the wrong at that time he would try to support you and treat you as a friend until the time was right to let things go.

• Barry would trying to find out as much as he can about the situation before he makes a final decisions on what to do. He would definitely ask for the help of people around him, both to protect you and to take care of the villains that may be now coming after you.