#warehouse gremlining

[qwanderer]

Either the roofing noise has gotten quieter or I'm genuinely getting used to it. There are still ear-popping pressure waves but I no longer feel like my skull is going to fall out due to vibrations.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason and Tim become friends during Jason‘s Robin era.

When Jason runs away to Ethiopia, Tim buys himself a plane ticket and sneaks after him.

[shadowkira]

[galactic-pirates]

Ok buckle up it’s story time. I’ve been musing on the whole Jack Crusher thing on Picard and I have joked (as I have seen others do as well) being a fanfic OC, coming in and making everything be about him. Not to put shade on fanfic OC’s at all but what is fun in fanfic hits a little different on screen in canon. But anyway I am getting off topic and possibly digging myself a hole I don’t mean. So moving on!

It made me remember Warehouse 13 because for reason beyond all understanding they suddenly gave Artie a son in the show finale. A son that he hadn’t known about, and I can’t quite recall how old the son was when he learned. The implication seemed to be that they had one adventure snagging an artifact and there had been pretty much no contact before or since which I guess explained why this phantom son had never been mentioned before??? Except not really because damn Artie makes you look seriously bad. I suppose it was “oh the warehouse is dangerous” but ugh anyway I was more annoyed that this plot thread had just been dropped in the finale! Like why? Can’t do anything with that. It was so weird to come up with something so huge and then show ended, nothing to see here.

So obviously my fanfic writer brain started chewing on this and wondering how to make it interesting. So yeah true fanfic OC time because why the hell not? It is undeniably fun. Also I never wrote this so it exists only in my brain for my own amusement, and now potentially yours by summary if I ever get to the point.

For the plot of the phantom son to not unfairly take attention from the main characters, it would be ideal to introduce him earlier like perhaps forshadow and then actual appear towards the end of season 1. Which would make him a legitimate character that can have plot.

Now I think the story on Warehouse 13 was Artie had a girlfriend when at the NSA and she was pregnant and didn’t know/hadn’t told him, and then he was arrested/recruited to the Warehouse and left behind everything of his old life as a quasi-witness protection type deal. The son was completely normal, had a family of his own, and I guess actually you know that’s nice that somebody had normal relatives not bothered by Warehouse drama. Certainly everybody else got dragged in like Myka’s parents. Pete’s ex-wife etc. So I guess the actual story isn’t bad it just doesn’t go anywhere because apart from Artie being sad he can’t see them because he has to stay away for their protection (which I kinda hate because surely precautions, effort could be made etc.)

Anyway I figured if we were going to make it plot then make it fun. Bring in another plot line of the Warehouse they never really explored and I was always fascinated by - the competition I am sure they had but never admitted to.

What if Artie got the girlfriend AFTER joining the Warehouse? Someone else with Russian roots, who could relate about the fear for his relatives in Russia. I mean Artie did what he did to save them and then when it all went bad he must have been scared it would have undone it all. Plus that had been a weakness in the past, so why not go for the weak spot that works? Obviously the Warehouse would have flagged it but the key to a good lie is that a lot is the truth. If she was open about her Russian roots why would there be any suspicion? A Russian spy would surely want to be as non-Russian as possible right? Because let’s face it height of the Cold War even if the Warehouse did manage to be neutral it is still in the USA, and so Russia wanting to infiltrate it just makes sense. Also critical point (for my own enjoyment) is I very much liked the whole Irina plot in Alias. Only Irina was a good guy (kinda) and this spy girlfriend is definitely not.

Obviously cover was blown, the Warehouse learned the truth, and the spy left and then discovered she was pregnant. So when did Artie learn about the kid? I am thinking initially when the kid was a few years old. Old enough to be thought loyal to Russia but young enough to tug on heartstrings. Another way to infiltrate the Warehouse. Only it doesn’t work. The Regents offer to get the kid but Artie declines. The boy doesn’t know him. It would be wrong to strip him from the only family he has ever known. Plus Artie does do the helpless head in the sand thing. I can hear him splutter “what would I do with a kid? How could I raise him alone? The work has to come first.” I mean even after 20 years Artie still feels he needs to make amends for the artifacts to Russia so just a few years later? Plus having had the second brush with nearly letting someone into the warehouse. So much of his self-worth is tied up in being a good agent and making it right.

Now obviously the fun part comes when the kid grows up. I am thinking the first time he and Artie actually meet they are going after the same artifact. Yup the kid grew up to be a retrieval specialist. Now who else do we know who is in the black market artifact trade? Who would have been highly interested in Artie’s son? Oh yes I am quite sure that James MacPherson would have been delighted to contract Karl (yeah I named him) to be his right hand.

Am I done? No I am not done because math is hard and I am not entirely sure. Plus the years are hard to work out for when the Phoenix incident happened. But I think it might pretty much work for either Artie to fall into this femme fatale trap when MacPherson married Carol, or when MacPherson used the Phoenix to save her AND (fun stuff) for Karl to then be about the same age as Claudia… Claudia who hunted for everything she could find on the Warehouse and how she could break into it. I would say a retrieval specialist with a bit of a grudge against the Warehouse would have been a solid source. One that Claudia cut ties with when she chose to join the Warehouse lest the regents think she was a traitor.

When Leena framed Claudia as a traitor that would have added an extra dimension. Plus I am just imagining the drama if Karl told Claudia his bio dad was an agent but never said his name, and then the reveal of “Artie?!?!”

I know I know this is getting a bit of a soap opera but that’s part of the fun of a fanfic OC. Bring in all the drama. Make it ridiculous with Russian spies because why not? It’s fun. Plus I don’t know if you can tell with what I have said but I am trying to think about this mostly in relation to what meaty conflict it gives Artie and Claudia to chew on. That is even in fanfic what interests people - the real characters. I can try and make the fanfic OC compelling but at the end of the day they aren’t the point. I can write it for me and do what I find amusing but that’s why the OC exists at all.

Anyway I like dimensions and layers and I can’t quite decide how this would affect the season 1 finale. No matter what HG Wells needs to be unbronzed. But then? If MacPherson had another option would he have accompanied HG back to the Warehouse to break into the Escher Vault or would he have sent Karl instead? When Claudia left the Warehouse upset that everyone thought she was a traitor Joshua was half a world away, what if Karl was closer? They broke up but he knows about the Warehouse and would understand.

Now the thing with villains is if they stay at large it makes the heroes look incompetent. So it wouldn’t be good for Karl to be allowed to be a rival retrieval specialist competing for artifacts forever. But equally having him in that dubious gray area of kinda enemy, kinda friend. Sometimes working against them, sometimes giving them information/help. That feels interesting.

Of course with this kind of AU the ripple effects start and get bigger and bigger, and then it’s hard to think about what happens and the consequences.

I think it’s pretty known that I ship Artie and MacPherson. The parallels to HG and Myka, plus the echoes of James and John from Sanctuary just planted the idea in my head and it wouldn’t leave. The whole element of “Uncle James was more a father to me than anyone which I guess makes sense, as if things had been different he would have been my co-dad” the tug of war of the two different paths, whether the Warehouse is morally right or wrong, the corruption - which side? Etc. I mean there is a difference between principles and practice sometimes. Like the Warehouse has the bronzer and other very bad things. It’s not totally black and white even if on the surface it sometimes seems that way because the agents of the Warehouse whom we love and cheer for have the best intentions.

Anyway I think I have rambled long enough to cover most of what is swirling in my brain. I have almost certainly forgotten something but ehhh no matter. After all this is just for fun 😉

[help-itrappedmyself]

Danny Punches a Clown 4.5

Little snippet as a thank you for 100 followers (Part 5 is in the works)

Masterpost

~~~~~~~~~~

“You are absolute morons.” Red ranted as he picked himself up off of his brothers. “You couldn’t just leave it to me, noooo. You all needed to see him for yourselves. Ignoring the fact that he is clearly traumatized, exhausted, and scared. Probably hasn’t slept since getting kidnapped and escaping from the Joker. Not to mention whatever happened before he even got to Gotham. What do you have to say for yourselves?”

Dick and Jason both seemed fully chastised, but were also back up and ready to go find him again.

“Boys, I have him on a camera in a warehouse two buildings down from you. He didn’t get far and he is bandaging wounds right now.” Oracle said over coms.

“Well he can’t run very far.” Dick stated. Red glared at him.

“Can you guys just give me a minute to try and talk to him without a crowd?”

“Nightwing, take Robin back to the cave on his bike.” Batman orders. “Red will be using the batmobile to transport Danny, I will use your bike to monitor. Hood, Batgirl, finish up patrol and meet back at the cave.”

~~~~~~~~~

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[weeesi]

Experiment - May Prompts (16)

“Am I obliged to consider this tryst of yours an experiment, brother mine?”

Sherlock snorts. “Trawling Silver Singles again, Mycroft? Surely an ancient recluse like you can find a suitably geriatric goldfish to, god forbid, woo or something—oh! bugger—” Phone haphazardly cradled between cheek and shoulder, he accidentally drops the pipette of sulphuric acid in-between his thighs. 

Mycroft clears his throat. “Hardly polite before the second date.”

“Good lord, spare me.” Sherlock curses as he hastily knocks over the chair to avoid splotching the corrosive substance onto bare skin. It’s a sheet day. There’s a lot of bare skin. “Humour doesn’t suit you. Better stick to whittling the stick up your arse.”

The chair’s a total loss. 

Mycroft sighs. “What are you doing, Sherlock?”

“Working,” he snaps as he readies the beaker of sugar. He’s bored and he’d watched a demo video last night whilst he was dredging the bottom of the YouTube barrel and he’s trying not to think about what will happen in approximately three hours.

“Tedium doesn’t suit you—”

“Oh shut up.”

“John Watson is moving his things into Baker Street this evening.”

“Yes, somehow your low-budget abduction and performance as Warehouse Gremlin Number One failed to deter him.”

“You want to play happy families with a complete stranger?”

“Flatmates aren’t family, Mycroft.”

Little did he know.

+

Sherlock is doing a real experiment here - I should know, I watched a YouTube video.

Thank you to @calaisreno for the fun prompt series! Tags in replies. Thanks for reading! <3

[armandsfangs]

Gremlin Armand in a warehouse drenched in blood and drunk on it with a pile of drained corpses in the background rotting away. Drowning his sorrows as he thinks of a way to get things in order and get Daniel back into his life.

"I deserve this..." he strokes the face of a shaking victim. "If only you could understand that your sacrifice-" He freezes as he senses something approaching.

A door flies off its hinges and crashes nearby.

"Hey asshole!" Daniel marches in, eyes gleaming. "Did you save any for me?"

Armand's eyes widen, round and lamplike in the gloom. For a moment, it's like he's frozen between fight or flight.

Then the human in his grasp squeals.

With his gaze still fixed on Daniel, his slender fingers slash across the human's neck. Blood dribbles out of the wound as it gasps in pain. Wordlessly, Armand shoves the writhing human to the filthy floor in front of Daniel. He watches, pupils dilated, as Daniel seizes it by the arm and takes a long drink from its bleeding neck until its body slumps over, lifeless. Daniel licks his lips, and the flash of his long fangs stirs the groggy blood in Armand's veins.

"Are you here to take revenge, fledgeling?" He spits out the last word.

Daniel snorts. "Revenge? Why would I do that? You did me a favor, boss." He smirks at Armand's tremulous expression. "Even if it was about 40 years late."

Armand doesn't move from his gargoyle position atop the stinking pile of bodies even as Daniel closes the distance. He hisses. "You were always too naïve. You still don't see the nature of the curse."

"I see more than you think. I see everything that matters right here." Surprisingly gentle fingers run through blood-matted hair. Round orange eyes blink up at Daniel.

Then Daniel yelps as Armand's fangs sink into his hand. "You fucking asshole!"

Armand smirks, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. It lasts for about half a second before Daniel tackles him and they wrestle in a bloody flailing heap, laughing like children.

When the dust settles, and they're lying next to each other, giddy and out of breath, maybe one of them whispers, "I missed you."

(Wow that turned out longer than I thought, thanks so much for inspiring me, anon!)

[clockwayswrites]

Bleeding Out, Bleeding In - the Start

This is the start of the resulting fic from the winning poll option of 'Crime Boss is a Dangerous Job'. And boy did it go places.

A solid 40 of you wanted to wait for ao3, but the other 59 are feral gremlins who want a part now! Those who want to wait, don't feel pressured to read. This might be up on ao3 this week or if not then next week! (Yes, that doesn't add up to 100, one vote is me so I can see the poll results.)

wc: 1059 Content Warnings: canon typical violence, blood, blood drinking, mentions of death and dying, brief mentions of human tracking, so much cussing.

-

Brainless motherfuckers.

Every single one of them, brainless motherfuckers.

One would think that eight heads in a duffel bag would have been enough.

One would think that people would learn his fucking rules. They were easy rules. Don’t hurt kids. Don’t sell to kids. Don’t hurt sex workers. Don’t traffic people. Don’t fuck with him.

And these motherfuckers had fucked with him. They had fucked with his rules.

Red Hood stared down at the lifeless eyes of the traitorous lieutenant.

Ex-lieutenant.

Brainless motherfucker.

Hood was insulted that someone that incompetent had managed to make him bleed, even if it had been eleven against one. And fuck if he wasn’t bleeding badly. Hood pressed his hand tighter to his wound with a hiss and let himself slump back against the grimy wall of the ally that he had slunk into. His hand became wet with warmth.

He must have already bled through the hasty field bandage that he had slapped on the wound.

Numbers slipped through Red Hood’s foggy mind as he tried to calculate about just how bad of a fact that was— about how heavily he must be bleeding out. Fuck if he wasn’t bleeding out.

Could he make it to his safe house in time? No. Could someone make it to him in time? Maybe, but who could he call? He wasn’t going to turn around and let another lieutenant stab him in the other side. B— maybe it would be better to just bleed out than deal with B and another lecture. As if this hadn’t been in self defense. As if he hadn’t acted to stop kids from being sold. As if a moment of hesitancy about killing a man he’d been working closely with for a year had been what got Hood in this spot.

And Dick was off world.

Dick was always off world when he needed him.

That wasn’t fair. What did Dick owe him? It’s not like they had ever been family. Dick had never wanted him. The last person who had wanted him didn’t even want him enough to stay sober.

Blood loss made him maudlin, apparently.

Dying by explosion had been easier.

“You know, not what I expected to find dumpster diving tonight.”

Hood’s hand dropped to brush over the grip of his gun. It was up and aimed before his head even had time to lull towards the voice. The hand holding the gun was steady even as his vision swam staring down the sight.

“Not that I’m doubting you can use that, Boss, but would rather you didn’t,” the stranger said, hands up in the air. One large duffel sat at their feet. Another smaller duffel was slung over their back. A hoodie at least three sizes too big swamped the slim figure— hiding both their form and face. The steel toed boots looked comically large at the end of stick thin legs.

Hood knew better than to think they weren’t a threat.

Anyone could be a threat in Gotham.

“Really, Boss, I’m just out here dumpster diving for supplies,” they continued, motioning to the warehouse district around them. “Not going to lie and say I won’t happily loot your corpse if you keel over right there, but would rather you stay breathing. I can help with that, if you let me.”

“And if I say no?” Hood asked, his voice a breathless rasp even through the modulation of the helmet.

“If you say no to the help, I’ll just be on my way. There are other dumpsters to go through like the feral raccoon that I am.”

His arm dropped down to hang limply at his side. He didn’t take his finger off the trigger. He shouldn’t trust this stranger. “Look more like a street rat to me.”

“We’ll compromise to possum then,” they said, slowly lowering their arms.

He shouldn’t trust this stranger. Did it mater if he did?

He was bleeding out.

The gun slotted back into its holster.

“There you are Boss, we’ll get you patched back up.”

Hood blinked. They were tucking themselves under his shoulder, leaning him up off the warehouse wall.

Hood blinked. They were disabling security on a heavy, cast iron door set into a concrete floor.

Hood blinked.

“Not going to lie, Boss, you’re in a bad way.” The words were distant— like listening to them through a thick wall. Static ran under the words. Static that burrowed under his skin and into his blood.

Static that burned at a part of him he tried to ignore.

“Think they got something pretty vital with that knife.”

He didn’t want to burn.

“Stitched you up but…”

He didn’t want to die.

“Oh Boss.”

Not again.

“I know, Boss.”

A cold hand brushed over his temple and he couldn’t hold back the whine at the sensation. He strained to arch up into the touch. He wanted it. He wanted to feel. He didn’t want to slip away again. He didn’t want that void of death. He didn’t want to die again.

The voice shushed him. “I know.”

He trembled. The static sang in his veins.

“There’s something I can try, Boss, but it will change thing.”

Things were always changing.

“Not like this. You’re not on the knife’s edge yet. You’re still living. If you die you right now you tip over to the other side.”

He’d done that before.

“I know, Boss. But if we do this, you’re not going to tip over anymore, you’re going to balance on that knife’s edge. Not dead but not alive. It’s a fine line to walk.”

Everything in his life was a tightrope: hero, villain; son, enemy; brother, stranger. What was one more thing? Alive, dead.

He didn’t want to be dead again.

“Okay, Boss, okay.”

The hand pulled a whine from his throat as it moved away. A soft coo hushed him quiet again. The sound rumbled in with the static untill the soothing noise sat inside him.

His head tilted up as something slid under his neck. Hands guided his head to lay back down onto a soft surface.

Something wet dripped against his lips. Spice bloomed across his tongue.

“There you go, Boss,” the voice soothed. The coo rumbled in his chest like a fluttering bird. “Drink up.”

Cold skin and wet warmth pressed against his lips.

Jason drank.

[skauni]

My Nikolai Belinski Headcanon

You call him Belinski when he’s done something to piss you off, it lets him know when he has to fix a problem he caused with you.

So, because of such, it’s Belinski who scrambles about trying to figure out what the hell he did. Leave the toilet seat up at your apartment when he stayed over yesterday? Burn food to your favorite cooking pan set? No, you just said it because you were bored and needed to watch some drama. But you’ll never tell him that. :)

It’s Nikolai who keeps leaving money out on the table incase he needs bail money for you. So when you keep giving him his money he gets confused on why you scold him. It’s his house, can he not leave money around for random moments in time where he needs quick access bail money for you, his angry little gremlin—??

It’s Nikolai who randomly gives you $200 dollars so you go to the mall to buy yourself anything you want when he can’t bring you the day you want to go. Then gets confused and flattered when you call him every 5 minutes in a new shop to ask if he wants anything. Then when you come home and give him most of the money back he laughs his ass off because you literally spent $10 out of the $200 dollars he gave you. On what, he may ask? Nothing. Literally nothing. It was $4 for the pretzel cup you bought for yourself and $6 for the big ass bag of candies you bought for him so he had sweet treats when flying his helicopter for a mission.

But it’s Nikolai Belinski who tells you to put on the thick coat he bought for you last week because he wanted to take you somewhere in his helicopter and the damn thing got cold as shit if you flew it as high as he usually did.

It’s Nikolai Belinski who hides a neat picnic basket in the back of his helicopter from you so you didn’t catch on to his intents. When you get in the helicopter he hands you a headset and makes sure it’s on so you two can talk and joke around during the semi short flight.

And it’s Nikolai Belinski who lands the helicopter on an abandoned warehouse’s helipad in the mountains, when you get out to look around he brings out the picnic basket with a grin and sets it up where the best view over the Russian forestry bellow was, that and where the perfect sunset view was as well. He spoiled you with dates like this often, but not as often as he’d like. Mostly before big missions where he’d be gone for a long time with though. So when the sun gets low enough, he hands you a present. You open it, and see the ring…

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

hiii, I'm new to your blog and I love the way you write!!

could we have something with wade wilson/deadpool ? thank you in advance 💗💗

Taco Tuesdays

Wade Wilson x plus size reader

Tuesdays are date nights in the Wilson household and nothing is going to get in the way of Wade and his Mexican food and his woman.

Warnings: Wade Wilson, violence, implied smut, swearing

WC: 894

Minors DNI

Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose this crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say

Rang out through the cavernous warehouse. “Wait! Wait! Wait! Timeout!” The goons tied up in chairs around the red-clad man went silent, giving each other almost disbelieving looks. His gloved hand flew into the crotch of his weirdly tight pants and started rooting around.

“Where is it? C’mon you slippery bitch. Ah hah!” A beat up flip phone was pulled out, still ringing. “Helloooo~” He answered, pressing the cheap phone tightly to where his ear was located under the red latex. “Hi Wade! Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

“Oh my darling baby girl!” He cooed into the phone, absentmindedly twirling his katana around, the sharp tip getting dangerously close to the eyes of the man restrained closest to him. He heard you giggle through the phone bashfully, still not used to his overwhelming amount of pet names for you. “Of course we’re still having dinner tonight! When have I ever refused your deliciousness?”

“Wade.” You hissed, obviously getting flustered. His lips curled up in a devious smirk that no one could see. “What, everyone should know that my girl has the most delicious, delectable, most incredible little pus-“ 

“Wade!” But he just laughed at your screech, quite pleased with himself. He could practically see you curled in that oversized sweater that you were obsessed with, burying your head in the fabric, trying to hide your face like you always did when you were embarrassed. “You can’t say that!” 

“Of course I can! It’s true!” His blade twirled around his head as he spun around. The various men he had detained each flinched away, trying to get as far away from the deadly weapon as possible. But given how tight they were tied down, they could only crane their necks back a few inches. 

“But it’s not polite!” You insisted, your voice going up in pitch the way it always did when you were annoyed at him. 

“Can you just kill us now?” One of the goons muttered under his breath. Wade’s head whipped around so quickly he almost snapped his neck. “What the fuck did you just say?” The man opened his mouth to respond but Deadpool interrupted him. “No no, I wasn’t asking you to repeat yourself, I was just giving you time to realise how badly you fucked up.”

The katana came to rest on the man’s chest, the tip digging into the soft spot at the base of his neck. “You will die, but I’m about to make it veeeery slow like when I make sweet sweet love to my lady bird.” An indignant splutter came from his phone’s speakers, reminding Wade that said lady bird was still listening in.

“I’m going to hang up now, my precious little gremlin. I’ll be home soon to eat some tacos and then your taco.” He made some kissy noises into the phone and hung up before you could chastise him again. “Now, let’s get started.”

——————

Just as you set the last plate of taco fixings on the table, your front door burst open like it always did when Wade came home (except for the times when he came through the window, or once when he blew up a wall). “Honey! I’m home!”

His suit was a slightly more rusty red than when he left this morning, obviously caked in blood that you would have to rinse off later. There were a couple rips from where he had been injured but thankfully not many today. “Hi Wade.” You replied, still somewhat bashful. 

You could tell he was frowning under his mask. “Now why are you so embarrassed?” He wrapped you up tightly in his arms, your own curling around the back of his neck. Your fingers found the smooth edge of his mask where it met the back of his suit and you gently yanked up. He let you pull the rough material from his head, exposing his face to you.

“Don’t talk about our sex lives in front of other people.” He scoffed at your firm tone and leaned forward so he could nuzzle the tip of his nose against your own.

“It wasn’t like they were going to live to tell anyone else.” You rolled your eyes but smiled anyway. His hands quickly slipped from your lower back to your ass, giving the plump cheeks a firm squeeze.

“I’ve changed my mind, I want your enchilada first.” As his fingers slipped lower, making a b-line for the apex of your thighs, you laughed shyly, wiggling in his hold.

“But I made tacos not enchiladas.” His face fit into the juncture of your neck and shoulders, delicately nipping at your soft skin.

“They’re both the same coming out, hot lips.” You groaned at his crassness but a moan quickly slipped from your lips as he gave a particularly hard bite to your pulse point. “Let’s go to bed.” He pulled you back with him, guiding both of you to the cheap, unmade bed.

“Hey hannibals-favourite-meal?”

*Yes Wade?*

“Fade to black please.”

*But-*

“Don’t think a computer screen will stop me from coming after you for looking at me and my girl doing some fun patootie.”

*Sigh, fine.*

“Thank you.” 

The End.

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[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

Some Spoiler Free Thoughts on Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

It’s obvious that everyone had the time of their lives working on this movie! You could see the joy in Willem Dafoe’s eyes in every scene he was in.

Much like the first movie, the cartoon, and the musical, every single character is a goddamn weirdo. And I am HERE for it! Give me your weirdos, your oddballs, your nonconformists.

The effects. Dear God, it was SO fucking refreshing to see stop motion animation, real-ass puppets, prosthetics, makeup, props, EVERYTHING!!!! Years from now, people can go through the Warner Brothers Studio Lot or their prop warehouses & find all the amazing stuff they made for this movie, and say “Holy crap, they made real shit for that movie!” No mocap pajamas or tennis balls on sticks for Mr. Burton. Take notes, Disney - THIS is the good shit we want more of!

The shrunken head guys are obviously piggy-backing off the Minions success. But they’re not in the movie for very long & don’t say anything, so it’s tolerable. Also Bob is best boy.

It’s important to remember that Movie Beetlejuice is NOT Musical Beetlejuice. I went in to this sequel knowing they were two VERY different interpretations & continuities, and I wasn’t expecting Movie Beetlejuice to suddenly grow a conscience or get all sentimental because of the musical. And I’m not saying one version of Beetlejuice is better or worse than the others - I think it’s awesome how there can be three wildly different & beloved takes on a single character. But you can’t forget that they are different, especially when Movie Beetlejuice does some things that Musical Beetlejuice would never, or even Cartoon Beetlejuice would have some moral questions about. It’s best to think of it as a Multi Verse - on one timeline Beetlejuice is a shameless pervert who lives to make others uncomfortable, on another Beetlejuice is a chaos gremlin who’s always down for a little mischief, and on the third Beetlejuice is a demon who just wants a hug, a friend, and an orgy.

All that being said, it can’t be denied that the musical had SOME influence on the sequel. It might be reaching to say that one of Lydia’s lyrics from “Say My Name” managed to work its way into the movie, but everyone acknowledges that a major plot thread from the musical was adapted to the movie as one of the many subplots. And while I think the movie did ok with it, the musical handled it far better.

[qwanderer]

There is a Bad Noise in the warehouse and Kevin decided to wake up to help me cope. So good news and bad news. Kevin is awesome.

The Bad Noise is because they're redoing the warehouse roof and there's a truck outside making a helluva racket. It makes everyone's head vibrate unpleasantly so at least I'm not alone in my discomfort. Like I would be if the bad noise was in the mosquito range.

I honestly don't know how the folks at the pack table are going to manage. They have set workstations. I'm a wanderer, I do my work mostly on rolling carts, so I've been seeking out the cool spots in the waveform and rolling the carts to them. It's still noisy but it's not nearly as skull vibratingly intense.

Kevin is helpfully reminding me that it's okay to do things that look silly if it helps me do my job. If I do my job well, that's where the real respect comes from.

I'm not sure but I think Kevin might be the first of my OC muses to wake up. He's definitely built out of components that I was already familiar with, all my characters are, but Kevin is made of pieces of myself and pieces of people I know and famous personalities.

He might be a version of Eben Keth, who come to think of it was noisy even before I started really talking to my muses. He liked to look through my eyes and give me poetry about stuff.

Anyway gotta go back to work I guess. I'll try to keep my brain from vibrating out of my skull.

[andaniellight]

An Attempt to Dissect Timeline (and Other Details)

(Episode 9-centric)

Purpose: Hopefully To Help Plotting Fanfic Properly.

It's good that 백설공주에게 죽음을 showrunners bothered to stick to the bit relating to Sang-cheol's (semi-totaled) car by showing the audience he's now renting a smaller, very-clashing style-wise vehicle. But what about other details? Especially since they decided to use the "Fucked-Up Accident That Forces The Tragic MC To Get Hospitalized" formula, which... in all honesty, can mess up the canon timeline if they're not careful with it.

Not to mention they use Big Medical Terms such as DAI (Diffuse Axonal Injury), and... what was it again... Intracranial Pressure? I'm no medical expert, but anything related to head injuries got them Consequences™ that shouldn't be overlooked if you're handling a human being, y'know?

How does That Medical Interference affect the timeline in general?

The chronological orders that were shown of the whole thing is pretty much:

After 2 hours being detained with Byeong-mu (Episode 8), upon release Jung-woo got informed by Sang-cheol that Geon-oh refused to testify the truth. It's night time when Jung-woo caught up with Geon-oh. For Broad Estimation's Sake, I'd say maybe around 18:00-ish he got the info...?

Jung-woo got ran over by a car perhaps around 19:00-ish. Ambulance usually takes 5-20 minutes max (golden hour rule and whatnot + crossing out traffic possibility in this small town as well) to arrive, and then another to transport him to Mucheon Sarang Hospital ER.

By the time Jung-woo gets properly admitted into VIP room by Na-gyeom a.k.a Deok-mi (who's sus as Hell), it might be 21:00-ish when Ha Seol arrives in ER. (I bet Ha Seol informs Sang-cheol, who's at the warehouse, about Jung-woo after she checks Jung-woo's phone to look for the detective's numbers while Na-gyeom takes care of the administration.)

Medical Notes:

Intracranial Pressure Test

It's a medical test for a patient with potential DAI (Diffuse Axonal Injury) (injury on the "forehead area" of the head) where the patient gets lumber puncture (needle inserted into the spine) to check for high pressure in the fluid that surrounds the human brain and spinal cord.

Sounds nasty, right?

However, here's the catch: The monitoring process takes up until 72 hours with a catheter gently bandaged to the skin on the lower back area, connected to a device that measures the CSF pressure.

Jung-woo could've gone through the test around 01:00 - 02:00 in the morning.

Obv they didn't show us the procedures for the test, during the test, etc. However, if we use the realistic estimation of ICP test surgery, at least the process takes up 24-28 hours, with sedation given if needed.

If so, then, it means when the time skipped through Sang-cheol at the precinct, in the morning, where he had to release Byeong-mu and Min-su (who, I assume, have gone through the 24 hours custody up until Geon-oh's accident + funeral)... There had to be a whole day skip. Ideally for the funeral procession.

All that said, this fuckin barefooted gremlin 👆🏻 could've gotten approximately 30 unconscious hours before he went rogue like that.

WHICH ALSO MEANS around the skipped-day before Byeong-mu and Min-su's release (or, if I may say, The White-Turtleneck-and-Leather-Jacket-Combo-Day), Sang-cheol:

Investigated Geon-oh's case and attended the funeral until late at night

Did the math about the fabricated chronology but then got frustrated so he rearranged the room while doing it

That frustration must be true because he has to go back to the precinct in the morning to release Byeong-mu and Min-su

THE only thing that could overpower the frustration is the worry he has for Jung-woo, so I think that's how Sang-cheol decided to calm himself down (by visiting Jung-woo at the hospital after that)

In other words: If the whole fuckery happened on Monday night (Jung-woo's accident, Geon-oh's demise), then Tuesday is the skipped-day (funeral), and Wednesday is the beginning of domestic sleepover era for this power duo.

EDIT (18/09): Perhaps it's not clear enough but what I really meant by "skipped-day" is solely for the timeskip that Jung-woo gone through because he's unconscious in the hospital. He skipped the funeral day because, again, he could've been sedated after the test and spent approximately 30 unconscious hours in total, away from everyone else but Na-gyeom.

[mynameisjessejk]

A Gang AU

This is entirely the fault of the Discord, because there was a video of a river otter causing Shenanigans, and it was mentioned river otters are horrible gremlins who have terrible, bloody gang wars. So, of course, here we are.

When the High King had been killed, the criminal underbelly of the city went into paroxysms, as the various small warring factions, which Ereinion had kept in comprehensive check, grappled to place themselves in a new hierarchy.

Paenvellon had drawn a hard boundary around the lower eastside docks, and held with with an iron fist. He had no interest in the drug trade that was most of the inner city, and had only a passing care about the black market. He only cared about the illegal weapons trade as far is it existed inside his very specific sphere of influence.

No, Paenvellon focused on smuggling. The tariffs on Numenorean goods made them luxury goods for the wealthy only in Lindon, unless you knew the right people. Paenvellon had made his living in being the right people.

And if there were a few strategic fishing nets draped over barrels in the corner of his headquarters, well. The warehouse was a theatre production, not his actual place of work, but it had worked very well for him so far. It wouldn't do to let anyone forget where he came from, and he found the smell of fish lent a credence to his work.

It also covered the smell of blood.

Elladan bared his bloody teeth, where he stood behind Paenvellon's shoulder. Paenvellon knew this without looking, because the small man who'd come on behalf of the ship's captain made a tiny squeaking noise of fear. Paenvellon kept his face impassive.

Elladan's leashed danger was threat enough—Paenvellon didn't need to say anything. Elladan had made himself the most terrifying person in east Lindon. A small amount of it was that he was Elladan Peredhel, son of the High King's favorite enforcer, the one the Red Eyes had nicknamed the Angel of Death. But mostly, it was just that Elladan could—and had—bring a knife to a gun fight and win.

"I'll pass the message along," the man stuttered. He was very afraid he would not pass the message along, that his body would be the message.

Paenvellon wasn't that angry yet. "See that you do," he said coolly. "Orophin, see that he gets back to his ship safely."

Orophin dropped from the rafters, landed in a roll, and popped to his feet close enough to draw back the man's chair. "Sir," he drawled softly.

The man squeaked again. Doubtlessly, he'd had no idea Orophin was in the rafters.

"Wash your face," Paenvellon ordered Elladan, once they were gone.

Elladan wiped the blood from his chin with the back of his hand. "It's fine," he said airily.

Paenvellon shot a flat look over his shoulder. "Wash your face," he said again.

Elladan rolled his eyes, but he went to the big basin-sink in the corner. It was a fish-cleaning station, but it lent a slightly menacing air to the room, as if they were always prepared to torture someone. Not that they ever had, but rumors were easy to spread. Elladan washed his face obligingly.

"And stop letting people hit you in the face," Paenvellon added once Elladan had shut the tap off again. "It makes you look unhinged."

Elladan shrugged. "Kinda the point, Boss," he said wryly.

"And he looks so good unhinged," Legolas said, climbing down from the second-story window where he'd been keeping watch.

Elladan beamed at him. "See!" he said to Paenvellon.

Paenvellon stared flatly back at him till Elladan deflated.

"Fine," Elladan sighed. "I will stop letting people hit me in the face before meetings."

"You're lucky I like you," Paenvellon said.

Elladan scoffed. "As if you liked me," he said cheerfully.

"Speaking of," Paenvellon said wryly, "If you ripped your stitches, I'm going to let him murder you." As he spoke, he gathered up the extra recording device he'd stashed under the table and the papers spread across the top of it, and stashed them in his briefcase.

Elladan and Legolas were cheerfully retrieving a slightly absurd number of weapons they'd stashed around the warehouse in case of ambush.

Legolas drove, Elladan sat shotgun—fully prepared to make that name appropriate if necessary, and Paenvellon settled behind Elladan. "Rohir's?" Las asked him, though it was a non-question.

Paenvellon hummed, watching out the window as the dockside slums went by.

The twins lived in a shitty second-floor walkup in walking distance from the fire station that was the base for Elrohir's ambulance. They could've had better, either of them could've afforded it, but they liked the building and they liked the neighborhood.

Elrohir kissed Paen on the cheek as they piled in the door. "Hey, good day?" he asked.

Paenvellon reeled his lover in for a proper kiss. "Very good," he agreed quietly once they broke. "You?"

Elrohir grinned at him. "Didn't have to knock anyone out, didn't have to narcan anyone, and no one died," he said brightly.

"And Elladan's stitches did not rip," Legolas called cheerfully from the kitchen.

"Oh good," Elrohir said dryly, rolling his eyes at Paenvellon.

Paen nodded in agreement.

There was a crash from the kitchen. Elrohir sighed, and they went to supervise Elladan's kitchen adventures.

Elladan was cooking stir fry, water heating for noodles and the wok already on the stove as he diced vegetables. Legolas was sitting on the opposite counter, eating peanuts out of the bowl they left there primarily for him. Paen sat on a barstool by Legolas and Elrohir went to help his brother. As the twins bickered over vegetables, msg, and sesame oil, Paenvellon smiled, pleased with the day's work.

[onmyyan]

Can you please make more Marco's headcanons like I bet he has a weapon collection

TW'S: YANDERE THEMES, MURDER MENTION, BONES AS A GIFT, MARCOS IS A WARNING HIMSELF LMAO (NOT EDITED)

S'more Marcos Hc's

Absolutely has a weapons collection and he names every single one he gets his grubby little hands on.

His guns are all custom made and he has this set of neon throwing knives, razor sharp and deadly.

His creepy little warehouse is a lot less creepy on the inside, posters of his favorite movies and bands litter the walls, sure their spattered with blood but I digress, the training dummies have spray painted smiley faces and when he gets bored he likes to see just how many knives can fit in one face.

He's the best at killing and it shows, has gotten paid to kill twice now and loved it.

And with both of those phat checks he was able to spend time doing his favorite thing, doting on you.

Once bought one of those really cool looking swords from this sketchy shop downtown and tried to decapitate a guy with it but when he brought the weapon down on the poor dudes neck it breaks like a Lego set and they just stand there in this painfully awkward silence.

He of course has to shoot him so no one ever hears of his embarrassment.

Has a few gnarly scars on his legs from his early skateboarding days, if Manny bet him he couldn't grind down their highschools 25ft stair railing he absolutely does it, even though he'd only just got the board that morning.

Had a kill bill phase where he kept trynna pluck people's eyes out like Uma Thurman did the blonde shawty in the trailer.

He the type to silently sway with you in the kitchen at some ungodly hour, his hand on your hips, humming a song he doesn't know the lyrics to.

Stops mid sentence a lot just cuz he can't wrap his head around someone as incredible as you being his.

The biggest, goofiest smile on his face let's you know he's lost in lala land and hasn't heard the last 30 seconds of your conversation

But you find it hard to be mad when he's drawing hearts into your skin and staring into your eyes with so much love it catches you off guard.

Wants matching tattoos but the idea of someone getting that close to you makes his skin itch so that won't happen until he can do it himself.

Him and Manny have weekly hang outs where they each dish and gossip about their individual darlings.

His twin is the only other man he'd trust you to be alone with, and it's not a lack of faith in you, so much as it is a lack of faith in the rest of the world.

His older brothers are no exception to this rule, the rare times you do meet with them Marcos keeps it short and sweet, and he never leaves your side.

If you're a morbid little gremlin like he is, he will absolutely gift you the bones of his latest kill (after a deep cleaning ofc) he tells you they're just super realistic replicas 👀 and you have no idea it's the scumbag who hit on you a few weeks ago, nothing too serious just a finger bone or piece of skull.

Wants to get married yesterday, likes dropping subtle hints like,

"hm our ring fingers looks kinda empty👀" or

"Just hypothetically - like totally not serious but between these two venues which one screams happily ever after? 👀"

As much as his playboy past would lead you to believe he's the noncommittal type, you are his heart and soul, and he'd rather gut himself in a dirty street gutter then be with anyone but you.

The second he realizes he loves you he's got it in his mind that you're endgame, he will be your loving husband and you will be buried together.

Sends you those deep-fried semi scary memes and TikTok's when it's 3AM and he knows you aren't sleep.

He knows because he cloned your phone and can constantly see what you're doing.

Reads romance novels for ideas on how to well, romance you, because he heard you mention once that you loved how they portray love in the stories.

Sprays your perfume in the room when you're at school/work/away from him long enough and it helps to quell his possessiveness

Just barely though because you mention lunch and whoop look who's showing up, food in hand and mentally manifesting you say fuck it and just go home with him.

Sometimes he has these night terrors where you're just gone and he wakes up crying, chest heaving from the heavy pit that had formed, and god forbid you're not in bed when he wakes up because he needs to be held, needs to lay his ear on your chest and hear you're still there, still with him.

Tries to make you breakfast in bed once and gives you both food poisoning but on the bright side you stay in bed beside him all day and he finds all the running back and forth to the bathroom totally worth it.

You throw on one of his shirts in a hurry one morning and he is transfixed, talking absolutely gobsmacked by how tantalizing you look when you're completely surrounded by him.

Low-key sabotages your wardrobe by hiding your shirts when he knows you're in a rush just so have to wear something of his.

"Sorry baby, no clue where that pesky shirt ran off to buuut I just so happen to have this here wonderfully made Versace button up of mine that really makes your eyes pop :) how lucky is that huh?"

Sprays it with cologne the night before so if any mf gets too close they smell him.

Can't say no to you, like at all.

Type of mf to throw his stupidly expensive jacket on the floor so you don't have to step in a puddle because he seen it in a movie once. (You could have just avoided the puddle but he looked so proud of himself as he held your hand to jump over it you had to indulge him)

Horny drunk but also a super lovey dovey drunk.

Loves taking you to concert's, especially when his favorite metal bands are playing, being surrounded by the music he loves is only enhanced when he looks down and sees you enjoying it too.

Talks in his sleep, 50% of the time its terrifying, nonsensical, ramblings but the other half is all about you, even when he's unconscious, you're on his mind.

[fractualized]

Today in TMWSL #10, we get half our answer and also Joker in a skirt again! Look how happy he is.

Spoilers and violence, yadda yadda…

We open with Black Mask interrogating a police officer about what the Commissioner did with his men, but it quickly becomes clear something is wrong!

Joker (our favorite Sewer Rat one) comes over the speaker in Roman's office (?) in the fashion of a flight crew, as Roman manages to get a gas mask.

And our boy makes his entrance as grandly as always.

With the henchmen dispatched, Joker starts to tell Roman about his complaints.

And here's where I bring up Gotham War, and how I guess this is happening at the beginning of Bruce's 2-month unconsciousness after Knight Terrors, right as Selina is starting to steal all the henchmen and train them to be Good Nonviolent Thieves. Because here it's alleged that all the Gotham bosses are still doing fine getting their underlings and it's just Joker who isn't. I have to assume that because otherwise the inconsistency would be another reason to dunk on Gotham War and who would do that!

Anyway, we cut to Wesker who is collecting clues from the men Joker did manage to round up about where the other Joker came from.

C'mon, Scarface! They're probably doing their best! Besides, you've got other things to worry about. 

Jason, noooooooooo! He's just a lil murderous conniving puppet! He can reform! He can do a YouTube series about mob history!

As for Joker, we know where he is. I mean, one of them.

It looks like, for some reason, Joker is giving this cop Lazarus resin, assuming @clownprince's theory about where Joker #2 came from is where all this is going. Though it doesn't explain why Joker is reviving this cop. Not yet….

Also lookit them heels!

Anyway, Joker is looking for clues about his doppelganger with Roman personally, which implies he has a strong feeling Roman of all people has key info?

Oh right, Joker doesn't know the other guy is back in town. But unfortunately Joker #2 knows his twin has wrangled up some friends and is having his own friends, er, de-wrangle them.

In a way, they're just making room for Mr. Waffles' defection!

At least Joker gets to feel himself in this outfit before he figures out his scrappy crew is already being dispatched.

Look, I don't know what Wesker is alleged to be up to but I don't think Joker has a leg to stand on calling him a pervert.

Anyway, Jason brings down Joker's mood. 🙁

Ooh, I love when Di Giandomenico gets him all dark like that.

Joker does manage to get in touch with Shocky back at the warehouse and tells him to get everyone back there.

SHOCKY ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. … Also who are you and how did you of all people manage to find out??

Sadly AND PREDICTABLY, we cut to the warehouse and Shocky has also been attacked by persons unknown. Jason, Steph, and Ravager are already on the scene. And then Manhunter shows up and nobody has any chill so they all get into a fight. Steph manages to calm everything down.

They compare notes and realize they're tracking the activities of two different Jokers. More importantly, they realize Shocky is alive! And we see Joker watching from the rafters.

At first I wondered if Joker didn't like what Shocky told him and tried to kill him, but nah, it looks like the warehouse got hit by Joker #2's crew. And I think they took Fake Jackanapes because he's nowhere to be seen, but per #12's cover he does appear to be back with Joker. Hmmm...

All four heroes are conspicuously absent when Shocky gets taken to the hospital, but Joker hitches a ride on the roof of the ambulance. From flight attendant mode to gremlin mode!

In a completely impractical way of figuring out what Shocky knows, Joker decides to interrupt his surgery in a new costume. I'm not sure if he had time to change into the cops' clothes outside or if he was wearing the first cop's uniform under his Sewer Rat outfit. I am sure that Mimi does not care!

Joker shoots the doctor because he has not learned any lessons about why he has no friends, and gets to the big question.

GODDAMMIT, SHOCKY– but actually I think the trope here is clear. Shocky did answer Joker's question in one word. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN but that's confirmed shortly, after this hilarious page:

It's Albert, the Knight Terrors son! Reading a Wonder Woman comic. It doesn't look like he took Joker's suggestion to ask for better toys to heart. 

Inexplicably, Joker stops in the middle of everything to steal the kid's drugs.

The implication may be that Shocky's words have jogged something in Joker's memory, and he's trying to ease the rest of it out. And that certainly seems to be happening, because we abruptly jump into the surreal "backer," which has a stronger tie to the main story than the others.

Joker is poisoning civilians when it turns out something's wrong with a henchman's mask.

Joker takes this opportunity to create his twin himself (dun dun DUNNNN) with the assistance of Professor Pyg.

Pyg successfully transforms the henchman into a Joker look-alike, and the fun begins, with Joker using his double to seem like he can be in two places at once, and to explain sudden changes of heart or ability. And all that goes fine until:

Original Joker does not appreciate anyone killing his men but him! (For once.) He confronts his creation when he's sitting on a park bench feeding critters. (A Joker enjoying himself at night on a bench? If only a bat doppelganger was there to join him.)

And we end on panels very reminiscent of what happened back in TMWSL #1.

Is this dunking on Three Jokers? I'm choosing to take it that way (even though TMWSL itself could still go the same direction).

Unlike other issues, we return to the main story for a page.

I had to include both these panels because 1) I enjoy the clown balloon exploding perfectly positioned in the cop's face and 2) like the last time Joker was in the hospital, he's reading a comic and replacing the story that's in there with something in his head.

But here it is! Half the mystery solved: Joker himself made his doppelganger! Which raises questions like "why?" and "how?" and "when?" but look there's only another couple issues to go.

And we can keep speculating in the meantime. Again I point to clownprince's theory linked above that some clone or plastic-surgeried reanimated corpse was mindwiped into thinking he's Joker. If that holds true, which it seems like it will because the Lazarus resin came up again, now we have Joker saying that he is the person who did it. Of course, if we go by how it went in the backer, then it's Sewer Rat Joker who is the fake, but since the backers are surreal and strange, the story Joker "read" in the comic may just be inspired by the actual goings-on and he really is the original as he says. It's also possible that we'll find both Joker's are so mixed up that they simply can't agree on who the original is, and we never get confirmation.

Regardless, we can further extrapolate that after seeing the clones at the end of Joker 2021, even though Joker was pissed about that, he may have been inspired too. It wouldn't be the first time that he thought a joke was only funny if he was the one who told it. So after he left Texas, he came across the mindwipe tech Bloom used in Task Force Z, and decided to give it a try? Except the person he brainwashed would be as vain as him and want to be the one-and-only Clown Prince of Crime, and it would never occur to him that he's the copy.

I'm hoping that's what it is, and not that the double was created earlier and it really is like Three Jokers where there's been more than one Joker tHe WhOle TiMe. I mean, Joker's last line could be taken to mean, "I was the one behind our best shenanigans and am responsible for our fearsome reputation." At least it's definitely not some multiverse shit as implied by that Batman #135 page.

We've got a couple issues left to get more answers. My understanding is that TMWSL stops at #12, which is a bummer. I've had a great time reading it, which only makes me grumble more about what's going on in Batman and Gotham War. "I Am A Gun" was delightful, but ever since Batman's storyline hit the alternate universe, the writing has gone… not great, IMO. So I'm not sure what Zdarsky is gonna do with Joker for the reunion. :|