#Bruce stop I can’t do this

[toytle]

kissing superheroes w/ flying powers yields mixed results

exhibit B: clark’s tendency to float on cloud 9 (literally!) 💗

(see exhibit A)

[jaxon-exe]

Who’s Clone are You?!?!

So stick with me for a sec. Imagine Batman finds a lab set up for cloning by (insert whatever villain/scientist u want)

After interrogating said person bats finds out that they did manage to make a clone but it died shortly after. When asked who’s clone the person doesn’t know, saying that the DNA came from a spot of blood on a batarang that was thrown into a wall as an intimidation move.

Now big problem because all the Batfam have 100% given themselves nicks from batarangs (those things are sharp as f/ck) even bats gets a small cut every now and then so it could be anyone. But whatever the clone is dead so shouldn’t be a problem…

…

That is until one of the fam meets a black haired, blue eyed kid, who jokes about death a lot and who Jason swears feels kinda like the pit…

Que the bats trying to get this ‘Danny Fenton’s’ DNA while Danny does he’s best to avoid both the bats and the Wanyes at all cost because god dammit he’s retired from the whole superhero gig and never going back, plus he already has one rich fruitloop to deal with he doesn’t need two thank you very much.

[thebubblesareevil]

The Gotham Ghost Pt. 1

This is not how he thought things would go. After the reality gauntlet Danny thought everything would turn out okay when he finally revealed himself. He was wrong.

One thing he neglected to consider was the two times his identity was revealed were life or death situations. Situations where they had to rely on him in order to survive. This was not one of those times. It was stupid really, he was just so tired and he wasn’t paying attention. He walked into the kitchen and made himself breakfast like he did every morning. He didn’t see his mom sitting at the table. She did see him phase his hand through the cabinet. Before he even turned around he was hit in the back with a shot from an ecto gun. He knew his parents could be cold, he knew they could be neglectful. He didn’t think they would be so cruel. He ran through the house, grabbing the bug out bag Jazz insisted he pack and he ran, he ran far and he ran fast, his parents hot on his tail. He ran to the one place he knew the boo-merang couldn’t find him.

Gotham

He’d lost count of the amount of times his parents complained about Gotham. Apparently it generated massive amounts of interference which distorted low levels of ectoplasm. Which meant that so long as he didn’t overdo it with his powers in his human form, and didn’t transform, they shouldn’t be able to track him. So he took buses and hitchhiked his way to Gotham, found a condemned building to squat in and, just to be safe, hid his bag in the walls. The first time someone tried to rob him was pretty fun. He was walking down an alley when some guy held a gun to his back, demanding he hand over his wallet. Danny slowly turned around allowing a light green glow to coat his eyes, his skin began to pale as the muggy temperature slowly begins to drop as he eyes and teeth begin to sharpen. The would be mugger slowly tries to back away when Danny charges, going right through him and stealing HIS wallet in turn before taking off while he was on the ground panicking. It happens a few more times before rumors start to circulate that Gotham is haunted. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to truly catch the bats attention, until robin goes missing.

Danny is minding his own business, heading back to his hideout when he comes across the little bird, it appears he bit off a little more than he could chew this time as a massive man slowly corners the brightly colored vigilante. Danny stops and weighs his options. He likely wouldn’t kill the little bird, incurring that level of wrath from the bat would count as suicide. But looking at the downed kid he lets out a long cold sigh, he knew he couldn’t walk away. He pushed his ghostly nature to the front as much as he dared as he slowly made his way down the alley, stretching his shadow out until it reached the end of alley. He speaks with a shattered voice tinged with a hollow echo that reverberates through the alley “Walk away.” The large man quickly turns and gasps when he sees the apparition “Diablo de ojos verdes” but he steadies himself and charges towards the specter..only to was right through him sending an icy wave through his body. Danny doesn’t move he just slowly turned his head around, making sure it cracks as it turns bringing out his fangs as he gives a wide toothy grin and says “run” he fully turns around and starts to move towards the masked giant. He was gone before Danny made it to the end of the alley. Danny gives a out a relieved sigh, he really didn’t want to fight, before release if his ghostly state and turning back to the fallen bird.

He tries to wake the kid, because that is most definitely a kid, with little success. Danny looks around trying to see if he can catch sight of the bat to no avail. Danny lets out a loud groan knowing there was no way he was leaving an injured kid knocked out in alleyway in Gotham, there are sooo many ways that could go wrong. So with some slight struggling he managed to get the kid on his back and headed back to his hideout.

When he gets there he lays him down on his makeshift bed, wincing at the blood that he just KNEW was going to stain. Oh well it’s not like it was anything new. He pulls out his limited supplies and makes a note to pick up more bandages. Once he finishes dressing the kids wounds he’s starts packing up everything ha can and pulls up his go bag. He’s just finishing when the kids starts to stir. Danny grabs his last bottle of water and brings it over to the kid. “Take it easy little bird, you took quite a beating back there.” The bird immediately reaches up to check his mask “I’m not an asshole, your honor is intact don’t worry.” He looks around at the dingy building before looking at his apparent rescuer “who are you?”

“Me? I’m nobody, just a ghost. Now drink your water, I need to head out before your bat dad comes charging in.” Robin snorts the water “I’m sorry my what?!” He laughs.

Danny looks at him like he’s lost it “Your bat dad, the furry that goes around fighting crime with you?” At this point Robin has rolled off the makeshift bed laughing and is holding his bruised ribs “Oh god please stop, it hurts, your killing me.” Danny grins “Well at least your sense of humor is intact.”

Danny sets down his bag.

“What we’re you doing fighting that guy by yourself anyway?” At this Robin looked more than a little offended. “Don’t give me that look, I may not have been here for long but even I know who Bane is and I know that even the Bat has a hard time fighting him. So what possessed you to try doing it by yourself.” Robin gives a huff and looks away.

“It was just a simple robbery, how was I supposed to know it was a trap?” Robin looked dejected “One I walked right into.” Danny sat down next to the smaller hero. “Look you’ve been doing this for how long?” Robin looks at him “about a year now” Danny nods “So you’ve been doing this for one year, ONE, and you fell for a trap meant for Batman, who’s been doing this a heck of a lot longer than you have. Honestly I’m impressed, I only came in at the tail end of it but it’s pretty obvious you held your own better than most. That’s something to be proud of. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think you should be out fighting at all, but at the very least I know you can handle yourself.” The two continued to chat and eventually they were joined by a third. Danny didn’t notice the newest addition, but Robin did and he slowly maneuvered to block the only other exit. It was then that Danny noticed the bat and sighed “You were stalling.” Robin had the decency to look a little ashamed as he said “Yeah, sorry about that.”

He turned towards the bat “I haven’t done anything illegal and I wasn’t the one who hurt your bird, so I’ll just be on my way okay.” Batman narrowed his eyes and held up one of the stolen wallets “OH come on! Who hasn’t stolen a few wallets?! Besides they tried to rob me first!”

“I’m not coming after you for a few wallets, however there is a noticeable pattern among the wallets stolen.” Danny scoffed “and would you like to share with the class?” Batman slowly approached the teen, stopping when Danny too a step back. “All of the wallets belong to people who have claimed to have seen the Gotham Ghost.” Danny starts to take deep breaths, his eyes widening. “Look I haven’t hurt anybody, okay!?! I just needed a place to stay for a bit, sure I took their wallets, but I needed food! They were threatening to kill me!” Batman motions for Danny to calm down as he continues his approach, Danny slowly backing into a wall. “I already said you’re not in trouble for the wallets. I just want to make sure you’re doing okay. I can help you get home, I’m sure your parents are looking everywhere for you, worried—”

“Oh they’re looking for me alright, but they’re not worried. They’re the ones hunting me.” Batman froze, looking towards Robin. He looked back at Danny he came to a decision “I have a safe house near here that you can stay in for the night. If you’re still there in the morning, a man will come by in the morning and we can see about getting you a more permanent residence.” Danny looked at Batman, shocked, before asking “Why?” Batman shook his head and said, “Because you need help.” With that he moves over to Robin and picks him up. He gives Danny a slip of paper with an address on it. “If you’re interested go to this address.” And the two left. Danny sat down and stared at the paper thinking over his options.

————-

Batman gently sets Robin down in the batmobile before getting on his side. Once they are both settled and the hood is up the two head back to the cave. Dick looks down at his knees in shame “I’m sorry, I should have waited.” Bruce gives a soft sigh before placing a hand on Dicks head “You’re right, but what matters right now is that you’re okay. We can go over protocol another day, for now let’s get you looked at.”

Dick looks back at Bruce “and what about Ghost?” Bruce raises an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that you know who I mean, he didn’t tell me his name and he sure as heck didn’t tell you it either.”

“For now, if he decides to take the offer, he can stay at the safe house. Tomorrow Bruce Wayne will come to him on Batman’s behalf and try to set him up in foster care.” Dick gives a slight hum “Y’know you could do that or…” Bruce glances over at Dick “or what?” Dick gets an excited look on his face “I’ve always wanted a big brother!”

—————-

The next day found Danny waking up on one of the most comfortable mattresses in his life. He walked into the kitchen and made himself coffee and a half burned omelette (progress!) and sat down to eat. After he finished his meal he pulled out everything in his big out bag to determine what is still usable and what needed to be replaced. After all it’s not like Batman doesn’t clearly have the money to replace a few bandages. It was as he was packing everything back up that there was a knock at the door. Danny sighed before opening the door to reveal… a rich guy, great. “Are you the guy Batman sent?” He asks as he steps aside to let the stranger in.

“You could say that, my name is Bruce Wayne and this is a halfway house that I set up with Batman as a way to help get kids, like yourself, off the streets.” Danny scoffed “Off the streets to where, foster care? No thanks, I’m trying to stay off of the governments radar if you don’t mind.”

“Foster care is an option, there’s also private adoption. Could you share anything about why you don’t want the government knowing where you are?” Danny raised a skeptical eyebrow “I don’t see how any of that matters to you, look I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the day, so just forget about it.” There was something off about this guy.

“I’m not trying to push you out of the apartment, I only want to make sure you have somewhere safe to go and someone looking after you, you won’t have that on the streets.” He said with a frown.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock!” Danny was starting to get annoyed with this guy, and why did he feel so familiar!! “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to put someone else in danger just so I can feel safe! Look I’m grateful for the offer I really am, but no.” Danny gets up and heads for the door despite Bruce’s protests. “Thank you for letting me stay the night, if all goes well, I won’t be seeing you around.” Bruce grabs Danny by the shoulder and holds out a business card.

“Just think about it, if you change your mind you can reach me anytime.” Danny reluctantly took the card before leaving.

——-

Bruce sat down for a second “Well that went well.” He said with a sigh before touching something behind his ear. “Is the tracker activated?”

“Good news and bad news!” Dick replied “The good news is the tracker is working great!” Bruce sighed, looking to the heavens “and the bad news?” Dick let’s put a laugh “The bad news is it never left the apartment.” Bruce scrunched his brow, ‘This may be more complicated that we thought.’

——-

After leaving the apartment Danny went in search of a new place to stay, as there was no way he was going back to that apartment. He was passing by the Gotham cemetery looking at the card he was given when he heard someone call out to him.

“You should take him up on his offer dear.”

Danny turned to face the woman sitting on a gravestone. “Oh? And pray tell why should I trust him? He’s just another rich weirdo looking for something to gain. As far as he’s concerned I’m just some charity case, he’ll put me in a home and that will be that. For me though? I can only hide so much.” He sighs “I’m tired of hiding.”

“Hmmm, that sounds like quite the conundrum….Walk with me?” She says with a secretive smile. Danny snorts “A gorgeous gal like you? How can I refuse?” Danny steps into the cemetery and breathes in the morning dew.

“Even Gotham has its moments, don’t you think?” She said with an airy voice.

“You could say that. They’re rare that’s for sure but those few moments of peace….they’re worth the chaos.” He says with a soft smile before giving her a heavy sigh “Out with it, I know you want to say something. Probably something about how I should open myself up to new opportunities, or that not everyone is out to get me, or even that I can’t know that things will go wrong unless I try!” A soft giggle echos through the graves. “It seems to me you’ve already told yourself all those things… so what’s holding you back?” He sighs

“I just… I guess I’m scared, I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I can be hurt like that again.” He sighs rubbing the back of his neck with a soft grin. “Y’know this is what happens when your sister is a budding psychiatrist, you become way too self-aware.”

She gives him a soft laugh as she comes to a stop before a grave “There’s nothing wrong with knowing yourself. I think it’s time you take a leap of faith, and for what it’s worth Bruce is a good man. He’ll make sure you’re taken care of, but I may be a bit biased, just don’t forget to visit us every now and again. We all love having you come by.” Danny smiles

“And be deprived of your lovely company, never!” He chuckles “Thanks Ms. Martha, it was good talking to you. Tell your husband I said hi!” Danny turned to make his way back to the entrance, greeting wayward spirits as he passed. He wandered through the streets of Gotham thinking over everything, he looked at the night sky and saw the bat signal lighting up the night.

He had made his decision.

——————

He was in the process of taking a fresh patch of cookies out of the oven when Alfred heard the doorbell ring. Making sure to turn off the oven, he made his way to the entrance, curious to see who had come calling so early in the morning. After all Master Bruce was notorious for being late to rise and Master Dick was already at school for the day. Any…. other guests would attempt to make contact through the cave, not the front entrance. Perhaps a salesman? They so rarely get unexpected visitors, he made sure his shotgun was within reach before answering the door. What he found on the other side was oddly enough a young man, not much older than Master Dick, who appeared to be distracted by the manor grounds.

“How may I help you young sir?” The teen turned to face him and he was struck by tired blue eyes. They reminded him so much of Master Bruce at that age, tired and lost. He pulled out a card from his pocket before addressing him.

“I know he said, but uhh I don’t really have a phone.” He said with a wince. “I wasn’t really sure how else to get a hold of him.”

Alfred gave the teen a considering look “I’m afraid Master Bruce has not yet risen for the day.”

“Oh! Uh I see, I can come back later or not…”

Alfred gave a warm smile “I only just pulled a fresh batch of my famous chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. If you would like we could have some with a fresh pot of tea while we wait for him to wake.”

The teen visibly brightened at the mention of food, deeply worrying the aged butler. “That sounds fantastic!”

“Well then shall we?” He opened the door, motioning the boy inside “Might I have a name for our guest or shall that stay a mystery.” The teen paused looking at him.

“Danny. You can call me Danny.”

——-

Bruce found them in the lounge when he woke an hour later. Alfred was pouring a fresh cup of tea while their mysterious guest spoke, quite passionately, about the travesty of Plutos excommunication from planet hood.

“You know” he paused as the teen swiftly turned “I hear they’ve actually fixed that. Pluto is officially back on the roster.” The teen relaxes just slightly but does not let down his guard. Alfred gives him a LOOK “Now that Master Bruce has risen I shall take my leave for now, to prepare lunch. Young master Danny, will you be staying for the afternoon meal? I’m preparing a nice hearty stew.” Danny looked ready to start drooling, but looked towards Bruce. “That sounds fantastic, Danny and I will be in the office discussing some business.” He said, placing a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Shall we?”

The two made their way through the manor, passing sculptures and artwork alike. When they arrive at the office Danny sees a large portrait of a rather familiar couple. ‘Oh yeah, definitely biased’ he thought

“My parents” Bruce explained after noticing Danny’s interest in the painting “Both were quite active in charities and trying to reform Gotham. The Martha Wayne orphanage fund has helped hundreds of children, like yourself, find new homes-”

“Cut the spiel. Look if I’m just a charity case to you, I’ll leave right now. The only reason I’m here to begin with is because a friend of mine said you’d be able to help.”

Bruce nodded “Alright then, I’ve been working on your paperwork. There wasn’t much I could do without your name, but I’ve managed to find a family in Fawcett City that’d be willing to take you in no questions asked. They have a good record and—”

“No”

Bruce wondered if he should still be surprised at this point “Okay, your other option is a young couple in Central City, they-”

“NO!” Bruce looks up from the papers on his desk, the teen in front of him looks seconds away from running out the door. “Okay, would you like to talk about why not?”

Danny paused for a moment “Look I’m sure they’re nice, but I’m not leaving Gotham, I won’t.” ‘I can’t’ he thought.

Bruce gave Danny a considering look. “I don’t have any families available in Gotham at the moment to take you in permanently.”

A slight shake of the head “That’s fine, all I really need it documentation so I can get a job, once I turn 18 I’m out of there anyway.” He said seriously.

Bruce thinks over all the families in Gotham he had looked over. Not many would be willing to work with the severe lack of trust, that coupled with the lack of documents and his options just shrank to the single digits. He could a migraine start to for when he hears the pounding footsteps of his ward racing down the halls. He has mere moments to process this before Dick burst the the door exclaiming “You won’t believe what happened at school today!” Danny twisted around at the intrusion and made eye contact with Dick for a few seconds before he awkwardly laughed. “Sorry to interrupt, I didn’t realize we had a guest.”

Bruce smiled at his ward “Danny this is my ward, Dick Grayson, who is supposed to be in school right now.” Dick gave a mischievous grin “That’s what I was just gonna tell you! You might get a letter explaining things, but there was a massive prank played by some upperclassmen. All of the alarms in the school went of for an hour before they decided to end things early. They were still going off when we left. I hitched a ride with one of my classmates, figured you might still be asleep and Alfred would be cooking.”

“Upperclassmen? Really? Well, I guess I’ll just have to talk to the school about upgrading their security if a few students can disrupt the whole school.” He says giving Dick a stern look, he just gave his signature laugh and replied “I guess so!” Neither of the two noticed Danny’s eyes widen just a fraction, before he schooled his features.

“We were just getting ready to head to the dining room for lunch, care to join us?” Bruce asks Dick raising an eyebrow. “Definitely!” He turns to Danny “Alfred cooks the best food, there’s nothing like it.” Danny indulges him a little as they make their way to the dining room, which was surprisingly already set for three. “Alfred always knows.” Dick says with a shrug. The three sit down making light conversation, Bruce dancing around the topic of his housing situation not wanting to scare him off. They start to talk about how Dick came to be in Bruce’s care.

“I’m still grateful that Bruce was able to take me in, at that point I had gone through so many foster homes they were planning to send me to an orphanage.” Danny nodded along “How old were you?”

“I was only eleven when my parents died, I was twelve when Bruce took me in, that was three years ago.” Danny gave a slight hum as he took a bite of his food. “And how old were you when you found out Bruce was a furry?”

Bruce choked, Dick spewed stew all over the table, Alfred sighed. Once Bruce managed to regain his composure he gave Danny a stern look “Care to explain? I think there’s been some sort of misunderstanding.”

“Gonna be honest, you definitely seemed familiar at first but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. It was Dick that gave it away, no offense but you have a very distinct laugh.” Bruce gave Dick a look, he just gave him a shrug “You try keeping a straight face as some guy talks about Batman being a furry.”

“Look I’m not gonna tell anyone, just wanted to get the awkward reveal out of the way. Last time I dealt with peoples secret identities my ex girlfriend shot me. Not something I’d care to repeat.” Bruce sighed “While I appreciate that, somehow I get the feeling that you aren’t doing this out of the goodness of your heart.” Danny smirked

“Think of it as incentive to keep me in Gotham, after all who know what I might talk about while I’m away?” Dick chuckled “Blackmailing the bat? Gutsy.”

He turned to Bruce “Can we keep him?” Bruce questioned his decisions on life. “He’s not a pet, he’s a living, breathing, human being.” Danny’s snort did not go unnoticed, something to investigate later. “Let’s head back to the office and see what we can work out. As for you young man, I’m certain they didn’t send you home without work to do, so you might want to get started on that.”

The two stayed in the office going through files on different programs and families. Danny shooting each one down, too religious, too many kids, to far from the area. They were getting ready to widen their search a bit when Alfred announced that dinner was ready. “Stay for dinner and if you’d like, you’re free to stay the night or take up residence at the apartment for the time being.”

“Thanks, I’d prefer the apartment if you don’t mind. It’s close to the cemetery, it’s peaceful there.” Bruce gives Danny a considering look

“Most people try to avoid cemeteries, they tend to hate being reminded of their mortality.” Danny just shrugs.

“I’m not afraid of dying, not when the living can be so much crueler.” Bruce looks at Danny sadly, wondering exactly what he’d been through.

Dick joined them for dinner and the three sat down, Danny trying and failing to convince Alfred to join them. They talked the whole meal, laughing and sharing stories. Bruce hadn’t seen Dick this happy in awhile, weighed down with more guilt and responsibility than any child his age should. He thought back to what Dick said that first night. Once they finished their meal Danny once more tried to fight with Alfred to take the dishes. A losing battle, Bruce knew, Alfred is relentless. He looked at the bright smile on Dick’s face and the argument between Danny and Alfred. He couldn’t help but agree with Dick, all that’s left to do is plan and ask.

They made it all the way to the door, Bruce trying to figure out how to broach the subject.

“Should I come back tomorrow, to keep working on the paperwork and stuff” Danny asked awkwardly

“You could or…” Danny looked up

“Or what?”

“You could stay, here, I could foster you.” Danny moves to object “Before you say no, I understand that you likely don’t want to be in public eye, we could put together some paperwork as far as anyone will be concerned you don’t exist. You don’t have to be my son if you don’t want to. You can think of this as just a place to stay, but I think… I think you could be happy here. Dick has already expressed his desire for a brother and Alfred would welcome the company. If you want to continue your schooling I could hire a private tutor or i could get you signed up for online classes. So what do you say?”

Danny looked at the ground thinking over everything Bruce said. He was tired of running, maybe, maybe Ms. Martha was right maybe he should take a chance on Bruce Wayne. He square his shoulders and looked Bruce straight in the eye.

“Yes”

End Pt 1

[adelinamoteru]

the visceral negative reaction that runs through my body whenever I hear the words “batman cant kill bc then he becomes the batman who laughs” u know what. I really wish he would. and then I wish he would kill me next.

[damnianalghulnotwayne]

ppl make a good point when they say making Damian pale isn’t whitewashing. i just get annoyed when ppl make him a Brucie junior with blue eyes and a button nose and such. he IS half white so it’s not crazy for him to be pale or take after his dad a bit, but i think it’s CRIMINAL when ppl give him blue eyes or dont a LEAST draw him with a wicked ass, cool ass BREATHTAKING nose. as long as y’all get those eyes and nose right i’ll leave u alone

[the-last-genderbender]

What’s funny is that Gotham is so used to the Wayne’s insanity that it’s just normal, a part of everyday life, and everyone just accepts it.

Famously dead Jason Todd turns up at a gala, well good for him. Tim Drake, the heir to a rival company, apparently lives at Wayne Manor. Huh, when’d that happen? And Bruce Wayne himself just, like, disappears sometimes. But also, it’s totally understandable to want a break.

But thats chill, i mean, it’s Gotham so the public just shrugs and moves on. They have much more craziness to deal with. And then you realise that they’re the Kardashian’s of their universe so what the hell must the rest of the world think? You’re watching ‘Bruce Wayne answers the webs most searched questions’ and he just throws in that he gets mugged twice a week (at least). Like imagine full on conspiracy pages dedicated to the Waynes, analysing every moment, then deciding to go to Gotham to find out more and they ask around only to find out Gothamites are completely unbothered.

People would absolutely hate it and I love that

[silevvar]

Just thinking of the boys after they died and became ghosts, they got to see the others too so they weren’t alone anymore and they had each other. Because even though they forgot most of their life already once they died, the feeling of loneliness and the suffering they went through would always be ingrained in them and haunts them past the grave.

Imagine how much relief they felt because they weren’t alone anymore. IMAGINE HOW MUCH PAIN THEY FEEL WHEN ANOTHER VICTIM IS DRAGGED INTO THE BASEMENT.

[donnatroyyyy]

Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.

[nighhtwing]

i love to imagine bruce's internal monologue every time he looks at talia bc in my head it's just him going like this

but outwardly he just pretends his ex isn't the hottest, deadliest woman on the planet

[yvtro]

if you ever wonder why i post/reblog meta that contradicts each other, this is because i enjoy the variety <3 while there are some common threads in my readings, i’m not dogmatic in my interpretation. it’s what it is – interpretation, and i think many fans would benefit from similar attitude.

[benbamboozled]

I didn't want to derail someone else's post, but your tags about Cheer are SO RIGHT

What exactly is the difference between;

Abusive Dad is dead so kid has to go into Social Services

and

Abusive Dad is in prison so kid has to go into Social Services?

(other than that one option gives the kid some measure of permanent closure imo, but yknow, murder bad -_-)

IT MAKES ME WANT TO EAT BEEEEEES!!!!

Like…the lack of thought that went into that plotline is just…WHAT!

Okay, Bruce and Jason racing to find a cure/stop Cheer…THAT makes sense. Saving Tyler’s mom MAKES SENSE as a parallel! Jason can be the kind of person to Tyler and Tyler’s mom that he and Catherine never had.

TYLER’S ABUSIVE CHILD-POISONER DAD IS IMMATERIAL TO THE SITUATION!!!!

Even if Jason hadn’t killed him he would have been in jail! Hell, he could have already been dead and it wouldn’t have changed what was going on with Tyler and Tyler’s mom!

So really the problem is STILL “saving Tyler’s mom”! THAT IS WHERE THE EMOTIONAL RESONANCE LIES!

Not to mention, you know…Jason being bent out of shape over killing a serial child-poisoner MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE! Him giving up guns because of that MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

Like, it goes against all of his post-UtH characterization! AND all of his pre-UtH characterization! Just…ALL of his characterization!!!

And not in a way that feels organic and/or like character growth, either! It’s just stupid and inexplicable!

(Not to mention that like…okay, this is going to go into real life/abuse in fiction, but…Batman writers know that abused people sometimes kill their abusers, right? Like, in real life?

Because, okay, see…one of the reasons that I love Jason Todd is because I conceptualize him as a sort of an Angel of Retribution on behalf of victims—in much the same way that Batman is often conceptualized as the Spirit of (Vengeance/Justice/Whatever).

And, further than just bringing down punishment on those who hurt people…Jason takes that heat onto himself.

Victims don’t have to die to escape their torment—either by being killed by their abusers or taking their own lives like Gloria. And they don’t have to kill to escape, either. They don’t have to walk the path that he walks.

Jason takes that onto himself. He died so they don’t have to. He kills so they don’t have to.)

[enobariasteeth]

[somewherefornow]

BRUCE WAYNE & JIM GORDON in OFFICER DOWN

[the-stove-is-divorced]

Does your version of Bruce self-harm? How and why, if yes. Why not and what are his other coping mechanisms, if no.

Interesting question!! Oh, for sure! I think Bruce can be an incredibly self-destructive character at times, personally. Not self inflicted wounds, but I do think he would cause general injury through neglect. Like neglecting fresh wounds, patrolling obsessively every single night, not taking care of older wounds, and actively refusing much needed pain meds.

I think, otherwise, if he’s feeling particularly guilty and full of self loathing, he’d neglect company work, never stop for a break and, again, be working nonstop on patrols. Neglect taking any pain meds for injuries or headaches no matter how bad it feels. The cowl is practically glued on. Bruce "Brucie" Wayne stops appearing in public eye. He lives in the Bat Cave. He’ll work himself to the bone and consider any discomfort as somehow deserving. Communication grinds to a halt. Starts to isolate. Pushes people away if they prod or show concern. But I also think having someone to keep himself together for, something he has to take care of (other than Gotham as a whole), some person he has coherent and active for, sorta helps but it's a band aid on the larger issue.

TYSM for the ask!!

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Imagine the batkids fuck up major and a batdad had to step in and clean up their mistake

Everyone kinda embarrassed because of their blunder and Jason is lashing out to protect himself from shame

Dick is joining is cause well he feels bad about it being his idea

Now Tim is arguing too

Damian wants to feel involved and u can’t convince me other wise

Bruce is trying ti make a point about safety thats just fully derailed

Anyway Danny as Fenton is just there in the background around all the bad guys he took out before Bruce actually got there like “awkward” but the moment he tries to just tippytoe his way out Bruce turns to point at him “and don’t think you are getting out of this. Your grounded too”

He just freezes. Can batman do that? Is he legally allowed to do that? Wait what does Batman mean by grounded?!!? Whats his move here.

“Everyone in the batmobile we will discuss this more in the morning”

Oh ok thats his move. Ok yea Batman just grounded him. He better go.

So they r having the ride home and everyone is sulking and Danny is just there confused but doesn’t say anything because hes probably tired and it’s batman wtf you gonna do.

So they are at the cave and Danny finally just “so can I call my family to tell them I wont be home tonight?”

You everyone just stops. And slowly turns to face him. “Ah yea dumb question. I guess uhhh no phones huh?” No one moves. Everyone is pretty shocked. Cause one bruce kidnapped some kid. Two theres a civi in the batcave. Three bruce kidnapped some fucking kid. Four some random kid just got in the car with them. Five holy fuck bruce kidnapped some kid.

Breaks over enjoy post

[deadsetobsessions]

“I ate paint once,” Danny nonchalantly threw out in the middle of game night.

The entire table stopped. Heads whipped towards Danny.

“Yeah, me too. Cardamom yellow was my favorite. Ugly as hell but the chemicals just tasted right.” Tim replied, using the distraction to nab some of Bruce’s money. Monopoly money, that is. Everyone’s heads snapped towards Tim, only Cass and Danny (who was part of the scheme) caught him cheating.

“Really? I think mine was those spray can blue cosmos paint. But that might have been more my thing for space than the actual taste.”

“WHY WERE YOU EATING PAINT?!” Dick asked, looking like he wanted to lunge over the table and shake Danny until he puked out paint. Bruce looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

“Yeah, what the fuck, Tim?” Jason snickered.

“In my defense,” Danny grinned. “I was left unsupervised. Also, Steph, you owe me $24 in rent.”

“Ugh! I’m almost out of money! Can’t you loan me some, Alfred?”

“I am sorry, Miss Stephanie, you are not qualified for another loan. In fact, one of your properties is about to be confiscated as per the collateral agreement.”

“Noooo!” Stephanie made dramatic dying noises.

“What was your excuse, Timothy?” Damian asked, eyes glued to the board and determined to win the game.

“Hey, I was probably less supervised than Danny was.”

“Yeah,” Danny perked up. “My parents brought us down to their lab all of the time. Taught us a lot of stuff.”

“Really? Like what?” Duke asked, casually slapping away Tim’s sneaky hands.

“Oh, like what a rocket launcher sounded like up close! And how to build a laser gun! Oh! And what human organs looked like when they’re fresh!” Danny chirped, collecting his money from a stunned Stephanie’s hands. He looked up.

“Oh, don’t worry! I at least learned what not to do when it comes to lab safety. And we wore hazmat suits to protect ourselves from the radiation.” Danny smiled in a ditzy fashion as the table fell silent in a horrified manner. Cass tapped his arm amusedly, but allowed his bullshit to stand. After all, it’s not like he lied.

“Radiation?” Duck’s voice raised a couple of octaves. Oh yeah, Danny’s going to laugh about that pitch for a long while.

“Organs?!” Jason’s hands closed around the plastic house he was holding rather forcefully.

“Do you even know what basic lab safety practices are, Danny?” Damian demanded, finally looking up with brows furrowed. He rolled the dice and grabbed a mystery card. He gets $100 from Alfred.

“How old were you??” Duke asked.

“Like… 8, when they first brought me in?”

“Eight.” Bruce rumbled, slipping into a more Batman like persona. When Danny sent him a confused look, Bruce straightened back into his Bruce persona. “Wow, they must have trusted you a lot!”

“Sure?”

“What were their names again?” Stephanie asked sweetly, Cass nodding at him.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton.” Not that they’ll find them here, considering his parents are dead and in another universe.

“Cool, cool, cool!” Stephanie blinked, beaming as her hands formed lethal fists underneath the table.

Danny blinked and tilted his head in an unassuming way, pretending like he had no idea what Stephanie was thinking of. He sneakily handed over $600 to Cass in order to complete his monopoly on his side of the board.

Danny stood up and spread his hands out, one hand clutching his new found victory.

"Well, lady and gents, you've all been floundering against the inevitable tide of capitalism. I am here, as a reminder that you can never win against the hopelessness that will be your financial ruin! I, Danny Fenton, have obtained a quarter of the board and therefore have won against even your best efforts!" He cackled, holding up his fan of properties triumphantly. He shot a mischievous grin at Cass, who held up a solemn thumbs up in support for his monetary takeover.

"... Danny, are you... planning on a career in villainy?" Bruce asked, after a brief and total wave of shocked silence. Damian looked like he was having a conniption at having been bested, unknowingly. Yeah, Danny was disarming like that.

"Yeah, that was concerning." Tim piped up, nabbing a ten from a shell-shocked Damian.

"Hey! The Riddler gives surprisingly good monologues! And he's really loud, so it's hard not to pick up on things. Duke, your turn." Danny sat back down, pouting. The villainy comment was a little too close to his fears.

"Damn it." Duke, who had rolled, landed smack middle of Danny's territory. He handed over a sheaf of bills to a grinning Danny.

"Wait a minute! You have cheated!" Damian bolted upwards from his seat, finally done running through the purchases he remembered Danny making. "You acquired that property not within the games' rules!"

"Okay, first of all, the rule book is a suggestion, like lab safety rules," Danny saw the others open their mouths to protest, but he quickly shut it down. "Second, there's totally no rules about selling and buying places from a private owner so suck on it. And thirdly? Cass sold it to me, so you all can take it up with her."

"Diabolical!" Damian muttered indignantly.

"... Dammit." Dick sighed, falling back into the chair and balancing on its two legs. He couldn't say anything, considering his current of bankruptcy.

"Danny. Danny, I'll buy a property from you." Jason said, eyeing one of Danny's other properties near his own cluster.

"What do you have that would interest me?" Danny asked, falling back into his Vlad-like imitation.

"Ew, don't do that," Steph reached over to jab him in the arm.

"Yeah, Jason, what do you have?" Duke said, the lovely subtle instigator that he is.

"Red Hood's signature."

The others blue-screen, gaping at the actual audacity Jason had to offer up something that would take him no effort. Danny, prepared with a poker face that came with lying straight to Jazz's ever perceptive eyes about whether he nabbed the last of her ice cream or not, was prepared.

"Red Hood? The condom guy working out of the... um. Upper East Side?" Danny asked, pretending to hesitate. He knows where Jason operated. That doesn't mean he couldn't simply pretend otherwise. For science, of course.

...

...

...

The table howled with laughter, Jason's indignant spluttering unable to say anything against Danny's wide eyed look of innocence. Cass leaned against the table, chuckles falling out of her mouth and eyes crinkled in mirth. Dick had fallen out of his chair, helplessly wheezing on the floor. Duke is hiding his face in his hands, mirroring Bruce's pose as they both shake from silent laughter. Damian is smirking, wicked and sharp as he smugly stared at Jason. Stephanie and Tim are leaning against each other, repeating "the CONDOM GUY" in alternating and increasingly louder voices. Alfred had a smile on his face and a tight grip on the bills in front of him that betrayed his amusement.

"He's a crime lord!" Jason exclaimed, indignant.

"Uh, okay. Well, I mean, why would I want a crime lord's signature? I don't want to be on his radar. Or echolocation or whatever. He's... a Bat, right? That's what you guys call that group, yeah?"

"How do you know the Rogues better than the vigilantes?!" Jason glared at his unhelpful family. Those assholes better prepare for a load of rubber bullets the next time they're on patrol near Crime Alley.

"Hey, it's not my fault the vigilantes here are unsociable. Maybe if they monologued more, I'd know who they are."

"Wouldn't- wouldn't that make them more villain like?" Tim asked, stuttering from his laughter.

"I dunno?" Danny replied, enjoying his the family's unabashed joy. "I mean, they're pretty legit and they help people already so I guess they don't need to be sociable... but still I swear I haven't heard anything about Batman other than that he grunts and is mean towards criminals."

Is mean towards criminals, Duke mouthed at a recovering Dick who was in the process of heaving himself back up. It sent him careening back down to the floor with restrained giggles. Cass tapped Danny, reminding him to eat some food.

"Tt. Of course not. They're efficient at their jobs and have no need to be seen as welcoming to criminals." Damian puffed up.

"Yeah, but they've gotta feel safe, right?" Danny shrugged as he plucked a cookie from the cookie platter. "The... one with the sword, what was it?"

"Robin." Damian supplied, eyes narrowed and trained on him.

"Yeah, the baby bird. The kids think his swords are cool so they trust him. But like, the others? The flippy blue one? Not so much."

"Wait," Dick said from the floor. "They don't trust Nightwing?"

"Nah, they trust him to protect them, but he has a history of bringing the kids to the police, you know?"

"What's wrong with that?"

Danny shrugged. "ACAB. But also because everybody knows that half the guys in the GCPD and CPS are child traffickers."

"Wait, what?" Jason and Tim straightened.

Bruce piped in, the emotional whiplash of amusement to concern to amusement to concern visibly making itself known on the man's baffled face. "I thought Batman and Commissioner Gordon took care of that?"

"Sure, the obvious ones." Danny hesitated. Well, he's pretty sure they think he's a meta so... "There's... a meta trafficking ring that they're a part of. That's. That's kind of what I was running from."

Danny looked up pleadingly. Cass placed a hand on his arm in comfort, not knowing that he was fibbing about running from them.

Danny was on the streets helping his own Alley metas to run from them.

Danny is as feral as she was, and that meant he could hide just as much as she could read off of him. Cass was the best and he felt kind of bad about lying to her, successfully or not.

"Uh. Some people said you know Batman, Bruce. I know- uh, that might not be the case but if you do, could you ask him to look into it?" Danny made his eyes tear up. "And maybe he wouldn't care about me much, I mean, I know he doesn't really like metas but if he helps out, I could totally like, leave the city once the kids are safe, promise."

Ooh, Danny put a little too much sincerity into that. He could practically hear the hearts breaking in the game room as everyone glared at Bruce.

"You won't have to leave."

"... Promise?" And Danny's voice was a little too desperate, too hopeful, because Bruce's eyes tugged down in sadness.

"Promise." He rumbled, all Bruce Wayne and all Batman. Danny's core warmed. Danny also saw the rest of the family's faces darken in pure agreement. And partial wrath.

"Yeah! We'll kick Batman's ass if he even thought about kicking you out!" Stephanie proclaimed.

"He's far more proficient in combat than you are, Brown." Damian immediately leapt to Batman's defense and that was that.

Well, later, as Danny was "sleeping" and Phantom was hovering in the cave, invisible and intangible, he got confirmation that his Alley meta kids were going to be safe, soon.

After all, the entire Batclan was suiting up and baying for blood, with Oracle's all encompassing presence behind them, fingers reaching for their enemies' weak points.