#Cursed mention

[gojosbf]

"Give me back my boyfriend"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

[stars-obsession-pit]

The sound of John Constantine’s incredulous voice entered the meeting room before his body did. “Fight an Infinite Realms ghost? Are you insane?! Do you want to get us killed?”

Zatanna spun and almost snarled at him. “What would you have us do then, Constantine? Maybe you’re okay with sacrificing people sometimes, but we’re the heroes. We can’t just let it keep wreaking havoc. There’s no reported deaths yet, but we don’t know how long that’ll last.”

He leaned against the wall nonchalantly and lit a cigarette. “Well, what’s it yelling about?”

“What?”

He took a long drag before continuing. “Realms ghosts– they’re basically immune to our magic, but they’re easy marks if you know how to deal with ‘em. They all have some sort of Obsession. Just work with that and they’re remarkably simple to manipulate.” His voice turned to a grumble, “Doesn’t mean they can’t be a huge pain in the fucking ass sometimes though.”

Tapping some ash off his cigarette, he looked straight back into the room again. “So… what’re they yelling about?”

[clouvu]

Mother and Father 🫶

[incorrectbatfam]

With the amount of teeth they get knocked out this entire fucking family should be wearing dentures

[rie-092]

DEAREST ADVISOR.

❥. yandere! emperor x advisor! reader

• liam luwelton was one of the most famous emperor on the history of lobelia empire. while he was praised for being a good and powerful ruler. he was also famous for being a womanizer who hook up with so many girls yet, he didn't even chosen any of them to be his empress.

• don't blame him, he likes having fun. but he hates when he got attached or tied to something that will hinder him. he was only doing this for his own entertainment after all. no one stayed on his side for so long anyways, well maybe except to the captain of his imperial knights, warren, his childhood friend.

• that was the main reason why he became surprised when warren's younger sister, you, became his advisor. the most amusing part was warren is the one who recommended you. hmm, it seemed like your brother doesn't even care about the fact that liam's mother, the previous empress, fired all the female servants after knowing her son's tendencies to, uhm... seduce them.

• that was the main reason why he was excited to finally meet you. the famous sister of his friend. he wanted to know how long will it take for you to became smitten and obsessed with him? ahh, just thinking about it makes liam so excited.

• but you were fucking different that he expected. who in the hell is in the right mind to greet the emperor for the first time while wearing a damn pyjamas? what the fuck? as far as he knew, you were the damn daughter of a duke. so, what in the hell was wrong with your fashion sense?

• well, keeping your fuvked up fashion aside. you were indeed good at your job. even though you can be pretty hard headed sometimes, you were able to carry yourself with so much confidence and boy, oh boy. he likes it so much.

• maybe, that time when he basically threaten you to wear an appropriate dress to attend a certain banquet with him. was the time when he realized that he fucked up. yeah, his motto that 'no string attached' crumbled down as he saw your annoyed face when the maids' dressed you up with the most elegant dress that he gifted for you. and the fact that you got drunk that night and mumbled some cute nonsense didn't helped either. fuck. the main reason why he got you drunk anyways is to fuck you. but damn, he can't bring himself to do it since you looked so cute while clinging to him for support!

• as a yandere, liam was overbearing and posessive. gosh, this guy is unhinged and practically crazy. he's an emperor for the petesake! he killed his siblings to ascend to the throne. so don't expect that he's a nice guy!

• those times that he escaped the palace just to go outside and hook up with girls? yup, he stopped doing that for you. expect that while working, his eyes were focused on your every move. you talk to other guy other than him and warren? expect that he will be fired the next day. and why is that? well, it's your fault.

• he was now fine with you working in your pyjamas, you're so cute wearing that after all! but, in exchange he will increase your workload 10x because he knew that you always goes home after finishing your work, he just wants to spend the whole day with you!

• don't even think of quiting, darling. because liam will not let you to do so. unfortunately, he was able to wrap his pretty fingers around you with you being unaware of it. ahh, he just loves how clueless you are when liam fired all the male servants on his palace and replaced it with the female ones to make sure they you won't be able to flirt with them while working.

• all in all, liam is head over heels for you. he wants you for himself to the point that he spread the rumour about you being the next empress of the prestigious lobelia empire. just to shackle you by his side.

• but of course, your usual playful older brother doesn't like it at all. so be ready, because just like a prince on the fantasy stories that the two of you read before. he will do anything to save you, his precious little sister even if it means he needs to burn down the whole empire and kill liam for you. i mean, when you were a kid, you mentioned that you wanted to be a ruler. so just sit back and let your big brother, warren do the work <3.

“ our love comes first, everything is secondary.”

[elirium]

in my experience most 14 year olds are not great costume designers

[starfish-spencer]

Just wanted to bring attention to Lassie's list of Do's and Don'ts for shark-fishing because it's really funny:

Don't foul language the shark

@iceeericeee @arrowheadedbitch @therealstonks

[egophiliac]

oh no, I love them

(super quick doodles done between other stuff, there will be better things later I promise :')

[ryukolighter]

Titan's curse was legit SO FUN and like... Their quest group isn't talked about enough??? It was so cool and fun 😭

[ghostbsuter]

Magicians way [part 1]

.・゜-: ✧ :-

It's not often that he finds himself in such position, but it does happen.

John Constantine never would have thought he'd scratch the "tied up by a cult to be used as sacrifice to summon a powerful ghost" spot on his bingo card.

He doesn't even feel threatened by the cult, hell, all he will receive from this day is pure embarrassment if the summoning circle is really the one he thinks it is.

Great, it's glowing.

Little bastard knows and is on his way here.

Shit.

"Oh all mighty King of Ghosts! We summon thee! Appear!"

If he has to listen to that badly scripted American movie summoning ritual one more word, he's gonna do some serious damage.

The circle lights up in sickly green, the ectoplasm flooding the insides of the portal as it opens.

And there he stands, the boyprince of the Infinity Realms.

"Hey, dad!" The being greets, swinging a swift fist against one of the cultist.

The rest are frozen and now that they're alone John sees the shit eating grin on the gremlins face.

"Danny." He greets back, watching as his kid swipes some invisible dust from his hat and putting it on back.

"Man, this is so embarrassing for you. Let me just—"

To make matters worse, Danny pulls out his bloody smartphone and takes a picture of him tied up.

"I'm sending this to mom." He's fiddling with the rope, smug smirk on him that John would love to flip off if his hands weren't bound.

"Useless..."

Ah, here comes the blackmail. A kids after his own heart.

The little shit.

Visual picture of Constantine being embarrassed. (Yes, he's tied up with a RED RIBBON for funnsies.)

[lilislegacy]

i feel like we don’t talk about this scene from the titan’s curse enough, because i think about this a lot. like… a lot. the way he was just like ‘oh i can move faster than bullets, that’s cool’, and then immediately moved on and never thought about it again?? i mean, i knew he could SWIM at mach 5, which is…. hypersonic speed, and equivalent to 3836 miles per hour. and i know all demigods are naturally a bit faster than humans. but like… he can move faster than bullets?

i guess i just wasn’t expecting perseus to go all spider-man on me, that’s all

[aalghul]

jason doesn’t feel guilty for the murders he committed!!! he can’t feel catholic guilt or want repentance or atonement for something he doesn’t feel guilt about! and there are dozens of religions we could explore jason in that would be so much more fun than catholicism or any type of christianity

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Also, totally not me grieving, but what if Ruin fucked up and just managed to turn several trillion people and animatronics into cats instead of collapsing their dimensions.

So, then, after Solar 'dies' Moon is just standing screaming meanwhile newly kitten Solar is pressing his face against Moons legs in confusion because he's tiny and cold on the floor and doesn't know how to move besides wriggling like a worm.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wei Wuxian 🤝 Maleficent: Not being invited to a child's birthday party but showing up anyways (to make things worse).

(for @youremysunshine8)

[cannibalovers]

the way all the gays have fucked the wrong gays in hannibal is very funny to me

[bowtiepastabitch]

Here's the deal on the Good Omens limbo situation. My optimistic and analytic two cents, if you will.

If we look at this through a capitalistic lens, the chances of the show being cancelled are pretty slim at the moment. Think for a moment about the top three amazon prime originals that you pay/keep the platform for. Can you think of three? I honestly can't, not off the top of my head. I know I'm not really the target audience for streaming services, since I don't watch a lot of new shows, but still. I can name plenty of netflix shows I like/might watch. That's why Netflix can cancel anything and everything so easy. They don't have just one or two fandom cash cows.

Amazon, though, doesn't have a lot. Here's a list of all their original shows. I only even recognize 8 titles. I've only actually watched 2. Plus, Good Omens is currently one of the biggest fandoms in fandom right now, with Aziracrow being the top ship on ao3 for the Jan-Dec 2023 wrap up and again on the Summer 2024 leaderboard, as well as the top ship on tumblr and Good Omens as the top tv show (plus second overall after Artists on Tumblr) for 2023. We're a big deal, and I'd bet money that they're betting money on us. I also lowkey think we're the reason Amazon is spending money on a british miniseries starring Michael Sheen tbh but that's just speculation. The show has also won a slew of awards, the same of which cannot, to my knowledge, be said of many of their other properties.

So let's talk production changes; I think there's a good chance they're doing this for the same reason. Our fandom had unique access to the creator via tumblr, and a majority of the conversation around the allegations of SA against Gaiman were and are taking place in fandom spaces. There have been petitions to fire him from the show and conversations (both productive and otherwise) about the duties of fandom when engaging with content connected to problematic individuals. Meanwhile, Gaiman has effectively dissappeared from the internet. Additionally, the video and threads sharing that Terry Pratchett wrote most of the original book have been making the rounds here and I think on the bird app(?). All that to say, if they're betting on us they want to make us happy and keep their good PR. I don't ever expect a major corporation to make a "good" decision, but they will always make the profitable one.

There is, of course, also the matter of the Pratchett estate and the other major players in the matter: the actors, directors, and creative team. These are forces at play with the power to block or stall productivity and profit for Amazon through copyright and labor power. I can imagine there's conversations happening backstage that we don't know about as well as what we see in headlines.

Ultimately, I think the biggest risk to season 3 is unfortunately going to be Neil Gaiman himself and how he responds to the situation at hand. If he steps back quietly, we're living in our best case scenario and everything moves forward as much according to plan as can be expected with at least this small justice being served. I see a hissy fit on his end as the greatest potential wrench in proceedings, but that would exacerbate the (currently quiet in the mainstream) bad PR for him so I give it low odds.

All that to say. From a pragmatic viewpoint, Amazon's best interest seems to be entirely tied to ours as a fandom, and I anticipate Season 3 being made and most likely being only minorly delayed. Either way. What happens behind the scenes in corporate office buildings between rich white men is entirely out of my and your control. I know how huge anxiety can get when it relates to a special interest or a community that has a huge role in your life, and whatever happens we're in this together as a fandom. It's going to be alright. Take a deep breath and maybe get some water. Whatever happens, we're in this together as a fandom, and at least it won't be the end of the world;)