#Gotham loves Alfred

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 261

“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…” 

“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…” 

“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-” 

[celaenaeiln]

At the dining table for breakfast

Jason: Heh.

Jason: Hahahaha.

Jason: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bruce: *raising the newspaper up higher*

Alfred: *placidly pouring coffee into Bruce’s mug* Did something interesting happen, Master Jason?

Jason: Alfred, I am about to have the perfect surprise for that bony a-Tim. The perfect surprise for Tim.

Alfred: *putting away the bar of soap he pulled out of nowhere* Is that so? Please do be careful not to make a mess here. The waxing was just done in the dining room.

Jason: No problem, in fact-

Tim: *entering sluggishly*

Jason: In fact…in…fact…Megamind, what are you doing here?

Tim: ……..hm?

Jason: What are you doing here?

Tim: eating??

Jason: You-why are you coming from the right side bathroom-weren’t you going to use the upstairs one on the left?

Tim: oh. Dick was already in it so I decided to use the other one.

Jason: what.

Tim: what.

Jason: No. Hahahahaha. You’re joking…nononono-god, Tim, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?

Tim: ????????

Jason: You-

Dick’s voice thundering from a floor away: JASON!!!!

Jason: *staring blankly then running forward and smacking Tim on the head* It’s all your fault!

Tim who hasn’t slept or had coffee or know why something he doesn’t know about is his fault: ???? WHAT DID I DO?!

Jason: *running past and leaping out the window* See you later, losers. Bye, Alf.

Disappearing seconds before a blur of wet skin, white towel, and neon pink hair rushes past and follows him out the window.

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim: ……Did you have breakfast yet?

Bruce: …….Hrmgh.

Alfred: *tutting* I just had the floors done. Master Bruce, would you mind redoing them? I’m afraid I must catch the mailman before he gives treats to Titus again. He’s leaving crumbs all over the entrance.

Bruce: What about Ti-

Bruce: *glancing back to see a lone leaf float in and drop slowly to the ground*

Bruce: ………

[psalmsofpsychosis]

The Average Alfred Pennyworth Portrayal: *is Bruce Wayne's capable and somewhat cryptic butler*

Gotham!Alfred Pennyworth: *threatens an 11 years old boy to eat his dinner proper because if he doesn't he'll be too light in weight by the morning and the Balloonman will come for him and will tie him to a balloon and send him to the skies to die because he's rich and corrupt and forever guilty*

[jaxon-exe]

Wayne TV show

Ok so awhile ago someone (I’m sorry I don’t know who, if u know plz tell me so I can credit) came up with the idea of “what if the Waynes have a show like ‘keeping Up with the Kardashians’?”

Well I’ve been reading WFA and was thinking… what if they did have a show like that but the Wayne’s didn’t try to hide their weirdness. Like the weirdness that only comes from there nightlife.

I’m taking:

Damian keeps threatening to stab people and the crew think it’s a joke until he actually pulls out a dagger.

Dick decides the best way out of the manor is to do a flip out of a 3rd story window

Jason jokes about death (both his own and causing other people’s) a little to much

Tim full on passes out at the dinner table and Bruce just picks him up like he’s a toddler that weights next to nothing and takes him to bed

Cass has a habit of jump scaring the camera guy by just popping into existence next to them

They have a game of paintball that gets way to intense and ends up with Stephanie giving a speech that wouldn’t be amiss in a war movie

After ep 1 a lot of people talk sh/t about them online and in the next ep Barbara just random says names every now and then. It isn’t until after people work out she was saying the names of the worst people that sh/t talked them

For a long time all the viewers and crew thought Duke was the normal one until ‘the incident’

Jason and Tim are fighting and it’s getting pretty rough and bruce just spawns outta f/cking nowhere and just picks up the human tank that is Jason Todd like it’s nothing and just walks off

It becomes a running joke that whenever things go wide the camera just zooms in on Alfred, who just standing in the background calm as can be, as you can just hear the chaos continuing

Like everyone knew the Waynes were crazy but like…….. no one expected this

[thecruellestmonth]

Jason Todd + dogs

Gotham City Villains Anniversary Giant #1 "Bird Cat Love"

DCeased: Unkillables #1 // Batman and Robin (2011) #35 // Batman (2016) #33

Red Hood: Outlaw (2016) #35

RHatO (2011) // RHatO (2011) // RHatO (2016) #4

Robins (2021) #6

+ bonus kitties

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #43

Scribblenauts Unmasked: A Crisis of Imagination #12

[mylifeingotham]

Tea at the Manor by Gabriel Picolo

[neptunezo]

imagine you’re a new villain in Gotham. Like new, like you just moved from Canada or something, you have no idea how Gotham works but it’s a well known crime city and the only “superhero” is some dude without powers. You’ve never seen him or did any research, because let’s be honest, you’re this super cool, awesome, powerful villain from Canada and he has no powers. You start your villain-y stuff and see some dude in all black just…stalking you but not doing anything. Now you’re thinking you’ve messed up and some more powerful villain is here to tell you to leave, but you get distracted because here comes your new superhero with no powers- its a kid, a literal child in a traffic light costume. HE’S BEATING YOUR ASS??? AND THE OTHER GUY WHO WAS STALKING YOU THAT YOU WERE SURE WAS A VILLAIN IS ACTUALLY THE REAL SUPERHERO AND THIS KID IS HIS SIDEKICK/SON???

just take the loss and move back to Canada or something.

[bread--hood]

Hideout Details

[batcavescolony]

I think we need more fics of the batfam reacting to the Gotham tv show Bruce/the world in general because that show is fun but insane. You got Jim Gordon dating Leslie. The Riddler working at the same police station as Jim. Baby Bruce is friends with Selina, causing all types if havoc. And that's just the beginning!

[cecexoxo]

Red Hood Outlaw #33

[puppetmaster13u]

Meat Marionette Thoughts: Alfred

So there was already the thought of Alfred's body being in the Hive far longer than the rest because he doesn't need it for a long time. And I am just rotating him now and thinkin about what type of effect that could have on the body. Now @phoenixcatch7 put out the idea of his outfit being similar to a plague doctor's in his flesh-body, which I am just in love with as an entire concept into my head. But there was another where most would think he has tiny wings because they're well, under a feathered cape. But they are not, like I like to think that all of their wings get larger with age. Like Bruce already has a 50' wingspan as an adult, but Alfred is an elder of sorts, one whose body has been directly in the hive growing and mutating for years at this point. So his wings would be massive.

[fantastic-nonsense]

reading some tags and I totally get why it's very popular to say that Alfred is the "heart of the Batfam." However: Alfred is the heart of the Wayne family, not the Bat Family. Which are two different things that should not be conflated with each other.

A few examples: Helena doesn't particularly care about Alfred's opinion, but she does care about Tim, Dick, and Babs. Babs loves Alfred, but he is not the one who kept her communicating with Bruce in the 90s as Oracle. That was Tim and to some extent Dick. Steph (eventually) loved Alfred, but Alfred is not why she started working with the Bats or why she became Robin or Batgirl. That was, for better or worse, heavily connected to her relationship with Tim.

That's why I call Tim the heart of the Batfam; because it's through him that quite a few of these heroes came to be seen as Batman allies in the first place. Part of it's circumstantial; he was Robin at a time when DC was creating several new Gotham-based characters and Tim was a convenient narrative device to convince Bruce to give them a chance (why should he accept them operating in Gotham? Well Tim trusts them, Bruce, why don't you?). But part of it is just...a very deliberate characterization of Tim as someone who a) genuinely wants to be friends with most people and b) wanted to give Bruce a support system to fall back on.

More generally, unless you are a Wayne (biological or adopted), there's no actual reason why Alfred is your "connective tissue" character. In some cases, he may have even actively and openly disliked you. He's generally lovely and nice to have around, but he's also not why you started working out of the Batcave on a semi-regular basis and stuck around to voluntarily deal with Bruce Wayne's emotionally constipated self. Your connective tissue character if you aren't a Wayne is usually one of two people: Barbara Gordon or Tim Drake. And in most cases....it's Tim.

[b4tm4nn]

i’m in love with gotham tiktok

[littlefankingdom]

Telltale Bruce Wayne is so good. He is a good boy, he's Alfred's son, he is a bit awkward with people sometimes, he cares about his friends, he's full of hope for Gotham and its people. He's rich but was raised by the help and IT SHOWS, and his intelligence is from being raised by Alfred. He stays dramatically under the rain where his parent died when he is sad, he doesn't let corrupted politicians or mob boss threaten him or tell him what to do, he wants mental ill people to be treated better and doesn't punch first people who are clearly mentally unstable, he's invested in Gotham even without the cape on. (This Bruce will adopt a ton of children and be good to them. Good dad right here, will get them therapy and not be mean to them)

And he looks like a wet cat behind a screen door, pleading for the human to open it. Understandable that the local cat lady fell for him.

[mylifeingotham]

Bruce getting parenting advice from Alfred + Damian wanting Bruce’s attention

[lanadelbale]

Batman incorrect quotes pt 6

Bruce: Alfred,let's adopt a bunch of kids and make them superheros like me😍😍🥰🥰🎀🎀

Alfred: