#batdad and batsons

[mylifeingotham]

[bruciemilf]

Bruce who accidentally parents his rogues because the mom syndrome is starting to take deep roots.

He threatens Harvey with no dessert if he keeps escaping from Arkham, and blushes bright under the cowl when the man's mouth splits In a teasing, switchblade smirk, " Is that code for something else, doll?"

Harley insists on kicking his seat everytime he arrests her, " I will turn this car around!"

"To where! Also, I'm pretty sure this is just a Tesla with fancy gadgets and an emo makeover."

"You take that back, missy--"

Selina has to sit through 3 hours of " our generation doesn't know what real music is" speeches until she finally cracks and chokes him with her whip

Martinez will never forget the day Batman grabs Riddler by the scruff of his neck and holds him like a misbehaving cat, " What do we say when we flood the city?"

"Sorry."

"That's right. Now go to your cell for reflection time."

Don't misunderstand, he's like that with the league, too. Bruce gives Billy a juice box for not obliterating an enemy to bits and he almost gets lasered.

[rad-batson]

AU where after 12yo Billy’s identity gets revealed to the JL, Bruce Wayne gives his number to Billy for emergencies or any other situation where he might need an adult (like a get-out-of-jail free card, covering rent, signing a permission slip, advice, anything.) No strings attached. He won’t act controlling. Just in case, you know?

And for a while it’s never used because Billy would rather take his own eye out than ask an adult for help. Until Billy realizes there are a lot more benefits to this than he thought. Now whenever Uncle Dudley is at work and Constantine is too busy running from the magical authorities or (more importantly) he doesn’t want either to know what he’s doing, Bruce is the adult he calls.

-

Cap, over comms: Hey Bruce, I need advice.

Bruce, already in the zeta tube: Which villain is it?

Cap: You have style, right? What should I wear to the school dance? Because Dudley said a ruffled tuxedo shirt is “a classic” but it sounds ugly and-

Bruce:

Bruce: Oh, it’s that kind of advice.

-

Bruce: *posing as Billy’s guardian for class registration day*

PTA Mom: Hello sir, is this your son?

Bruce: *looks at Billy*

Billy: *nodding his head*

Bruce: Yes

-

Billy: Hey Bruce, can you buy something for me?

Bruce: What is it?

Billy: *slowly hands Bruce a copy of The Conjuring*

Bruce:

Bruce: Billy, I don’t think you should—

Billy: You promised :(

Bruce: *whispering* fuck

-

Cap, over comms: Uhh, Bruce? Do you know Sanskrit?

Bruce: Yeah, why? Is it for a school assignment?

Cap: …Don’t tell Constantine.

Bruce:

Cap: I got kidnapped by an ancient cult, and I need you to help me escape.

Bruce: *crushes the mug of coffee he’s holding*

Bruce: Oh?

[redrosebug]

Imagine if timey wimey shenanigans happened and Bruce got de-aged to before he lost Jason. He takes one look at his giant of a second child and goes "my🥰son🥰".

Damian is flabbergasted and also very jealous. Not only has he never met a version of his father that is so openly affectionate, but also, he can't believe Bruce is giving Jason so much attention. Damian is FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE.

Dick and Tim take one look at Bruce and go on vacation to TT. That is a Bruce that a) has been fighting with Dick and b) does not know Tim. They do not have the emotional range to deal with him.

Jason is both soaking up the attention and running away from it. He has no idea how his brothers convinced him to stay at the Manor with Bruce, but now he can't leave. The one good thing about the whole situation is that he can brag to Damian that Bruce loves him more.

(Jason has been trying to contact Dick and Tim for a week. None of them have picked up their phones. They are playing air hockey in the Tower. Jason hates them.

Dick asks Tim whether they should return home. Tim gives him a look and Dick's all "You are right.")

[sunsetsintandem]

Headcanon that Tim is the only one of the kids who has successfully full-named Bruce. He does it whenever Bruce is being particularly neglectful about his health. It drives Bruce mad because he is the adult in their relationship, but when he full-names Tim, the boy just stares back at him with the most unimpressed look on his face.

Dick, Jason and Damian are all dumbstruck by it, 1) because Bruce actually listens, and 2) they get full-name by dad and it activates they fight or flight response.

On the other hand, if Alfred full-names Tim, he knows he is in deep shit.

[hypnogoopgardennerd]

Bruce calling them his kids>>>>>>>

(Batman #127 Failsafe III)

My honest reaction:

[wondersinwaynemanor]

ONE of the rare times Bruce has used the distress signal was

First: when Jason finally came home and Bruce didn't know how to face his son because he sucks at expressing his feelings.

Second: when his four sons got de aged because of magic. Zatanna and Constantine were in some other dimension and he didn't know who to contact.

You're asking where the signal leads to? To Alfred ofc.

Bruce - I'm positive I'm not gonna use the signal from now on, Alfred. I got this.

Alfred - It's not bad to ask for help, Master Bruce.

SO when four of his sons show up to his study, Bruce is getting quite nervous because they don't usually show up together unless it was very, very serious. His finger is already close to his watch where the signal is.

Bruce - Boys, something wrong?

Dick is smiling apologetically, scratching the back of his head.

Jason - Get ready, B, it's gonna be intense.

Tim - Sorry, Bruce, there was nothing we can do.

Bruce - Just tell me. *finger so close to the signal*

Damian - She's pregnant, Father.

Bruce - ((getting a heart attack???)) WHO GOT PREGNANT? *walks to the boys* Boys, I swear to God, how many times have I told you about that, *covers Damian's ears* you should learn to use protection!!!

Jason - I mean.. Damian exists and you didn't use one, Bruce. >:D

Dick - At least we got a baby brother! :3

Tim rolls his eyes and thinks of getting another round of coffee for the night. zzzz

Damian - Father, relax, it's the stray rabbit you brought home from the Justice League mission. She's pregnant. Jon was the one who knew.

Bruce - What? *stares at the three other boys* Why did you make it sound like it's a big deal?

Damian - It's a big deal, Father, because there's going to be a baby rabbit and I'm not sure how I can raise such innocence.

Tim - It was Jason's idea to rattle you.

Jason - Just some teasing, B. >:D

Dick - Just to prepare you for the future. O:)

Bruce - ((his heart must have stopped at this point???)) Christ Almighty-

Once the boys leave the room, Bruce uses the distress signal and Alfred brings him a cup of tea.

Alfred - Not bad to ask for help, Sir.

Bruce - *sighs*

[ky-landfill]

I'd love to see a drawing of Jason recovering, and Bruce showing his support 🖤✨ if he survived the Joker -- your work is amazing!

[the-brash-spud]

I see your "Bruce won't hesitate to adopt Billy" and "Billy tries to beat Bruce away from himself with a stick bc he independed" but I raise you: Batman tries to parent Captain Marvel exactly once -after finding out Billy's identity without his consent- and Billy decides 'bet' and becomes his full time problem

(For the purposes of Batman not being an absolute ass he doesn't tell JL about Billy)

[dcmainlybillythoughts]

I imagine Billy and Damian's friendship to be complicated at first.

They're the people who will bicker in the beginning and then some tragedy strikes or event happens where they're forced to get along and suddenly they're the best of friends, even though Damian will deny his relations to Billy have changed at all.

What I find the funniest is the way everyone else finds out they're friends. Because they weren't there for whatever thing happened so they have no idea how close of friends Billy and Damian are so when the event is over they assume the next time the see each other in the same room they're gonna be bickering again.

WRONG. Next time they see Billy and Damian in the same room Billy is being all up and friendly with Damian, which isn't unusual at all Billy is nice to everyone. But the surprising thing is that Damian doesn't push him away. Instead he lets Billy close to him and will appropriately joke with him. What I wanna know is how would each character react to seeing this?

What are your thoughts?

[mylifeingotham]

[kii2me2ii2]

So is there like, actually a way to get into comics without spending obnoxious amounts of money or am I supposed to just. Gather info from random screencaps.

[gffa]

All you need to know about me as a DC fan is that it’s literally these two panels that dragged me back in to a franchise that I’d sworn off 10+ years ago and kept away because I was so mad:

Dick Grayson flying tackle hugging his dad, while Bruce is like WTF after his emotionally constipated speech about how proud of Dick he is and absolutely zero reflexes to stop this like this man has been flying tackle hugged before, and then “I love you, dad.” This is what it would look like if you looked into my hamster ball brain right now, just these panels on a loop. That soul-deep sigh of defeat you hear just now is me letting go of a decade’s long vendetta against DC’s constant hard/soft reboots and undercutting of everything that was fun.  I cannot resist this relationship, this is my kryptonite, you give me Batdad and Batson hugging and I’ll cave like wet cardboard. You got me, DC.  You got me really good.  I’m checking out 50 comics from the library right now.  [softly, but with feeling:  Fuck]

[redrosebug]

Headcanon that when Tim first became Robin, he would lecture Bruce every time he got sloppy and was hurt on patrol, but as time moved on, he just shifted to looking at Bruce with Alfred levels of disappointment whenever he came back with a new bruise.

Tim does it specifically to Bruce and no one else.

Bruce, in the medbay, after being shot: Alfred, can we close the curtain?

Alfred, pointedly not staring at Tim: No.

Tim, with his arms crossed, standing in front of Bruce: I'm not mad, just disappointed.

[sunsetsintandem]

Headcanon that out of all his children, Bruce tends to be the more wary about Tim's friends. One would think he would be more concerned about Jason's or Damian's relationships, but no, Bruce trusts them as much as he trusts Dick.

Tim, though.

The kid has the uncanny ability to make friends with very dangerous, very unhinged people, he grows on them like fucking mold. It makes Bruce paranoid that today is the day one of them will actually convince Tim to go full on supervillain. Or worse, that if Tim does turn to the dark side, that he will realize that he has way too many people that will turn with him.

[spacedace]

Sorta sequel of this post (where Bruce is happy that Damian has totally and completely normal human friends). You don't have to read that one to get this one tho lol.

Slight Trigger Warning: minor description of injuries and blood, including injuries to ears and scalp. It's quick and not much detail on the injuries themselves, but I wanted to give a heads up.

Tim always thought his friend group was the most unhinged in the family.

Not anymore.

His friends at least had enough of a sense of self preservation to book it when Bruce caught them doing something they shouldn't and leveled them with A Look.

Tim's pretty sure Damian's friends call god a bitch to his face everyday and give him a wedgie in a Denny's parking at least twice a week. He's positive he saw them roast one of the League's S tier world ending threats to the point of tears last weekend. The footage was too badly corrupted to prove it, but he knows what he saw.

All of which to say, he's shouldn't be surprised when Bruce levels little Elle Nightingale and her cousin Billy Batson with his patented "You Are In So Much Trouble" BatDad Face (TM) and the little hellions just grin back at him, entirely unaffected. Shouldn't be but still is because holy fuck even Jason will still back off when Bruce levels him with that look. And these kids had the gaul to ask Bruce if they could go get ice cream after they were done here.

Bruce blinks first. It feels like an omen for the ends times.

Tim can't blame him though, you can’t look into the heart of insanity and chaos like that for too long without risking losing something in the process. Steph was right, they really are nightmare demons sent to feed on their fear and uncertainty.

Billy swipes a smear of blood away from his busted nose with the sleeve of his torn and dirty shirt. Elle's teeth are pink and red from blood - Tim isn't sure if it's better or worse that it's not her blood. Jon was bouncing between fussing over Damian - who Superboy had been mostly able to keep from joining the fight and thus probably saved a couple of lives - and casting worried looks at his two bloody friends as they stood lined up in front of Bruce. At least one of them had enough sense to be wary of that look.

Tim would say that Jon was the well behaved one of the bunch - and worryingly enough he might be - but he'd heard him yelling give em the chair at one of the two scrappers as he and Bruce came running over so he knows it's only the fact that a punch from even a baby Kryptonian would have killed a person that kept the littest Kent out of the fight rather than any idea that the fight itself was wrong. All four children look ruthlessly proud of each other.

The ones the hellions were fighting - a couple of guys Tim's age who had been stupid enough to try and bully Damian at all, let alone in front of his pack of feral raccoons - looked like they'd gone several rounds with Killer Croc before being thrown around by Bane and run over by a car. They deserved it- assholes - but they still looked rough.

One was bleeding from several bite wounds Elle had inflicted on him, earlobes a mess from where the little girl had torn his earrings out, both eyes blackened and swollen to the point he couldn't open them anymore. The other had a large red and bleeding bald spot from where Billy had ripped a good chunk of hair out, nose completely shattered- likely in retaliation for what had been done to Billy's - and elbow hanging at an odd angle. Tim's not sure which one of them had the chair - thankfully one of those fabric folding ones and not something more solid - broken over them, or which hellspawn had taken Jon's suggestion to heart, but either way he could see the twisted up remains of the item in question laying not too far away.

At least the EMTs were ushering the two weeping teens away into ambulances so they could get taken care of. Tim's pretty sure Elle and Billie would try and get a few more hits in otherwise and knowing them he doesn't doubt that at least one of the cops that had shown up on the scene would end up losing a finger or two in the process. Which normally Tim would be fine with - he has files on all of these guys and they deserve way worse than what a couple twelve year olds could do to them - but in this case he's already having a hard time convincing the officers that it's just a matter of some kids defending one of their friends from a couple of bullies.

Ugh. Some people just didn't understand children and it really showed. It was a public park, kids were gonna be kids. Just a normal childhood scrap. The real problem were the highschoolers who tried to start shit with a group of little kids.

Sure the hellions were feral and unhinged enough to be unbothered by Bruce trying to chide them about starting fights instead of getting an adult to help, but at the end of the day playground scuffles will happen and the kids were just defending themselves. Cops should be thankful that BL wasn't able to join them for the day or someone would have ended up shoved into a cooler or something.

Eh, whatever. He got them to drop the assault charges - which were ridiculous, Elle & Billie were normal twelve year olds getting into a fight, it wasn't like it was Damian with all his training and skills - and Bruce had given up on trying to be disapproving of them not reporting the attempted bullying to him instead of handling it themselves. Probably because at the end of the day he was a little proud of the little shits for defending Damian and standing up against some bullies. And really Tim was too. They might be vicious little hellspawns sent there to torment them all, but they were good kids at the end of the day and they cared about Damian enough to throw down with guys twice their size.

Tim pulled up a list of the nearest ice cream places on his phone, Bruce was totally going to cave on that front and even if he didn't Tim was willing to use his executive Big Brother privileges to get them ice cream anyway. He isn’t going to need to though. Jon had thrown his puppy dog eyes into the mix on that front and Tim knows from experience how much a kryptonian looking hopeful could get away with when it came to this family. Hell, Kon had probably taught his little brother that face for these exact kinds of situations because of how effective it was.

"I'm still going to have to tell Jazz about this." Bruce said as they shuffled off towards the restrooms to try and get everyone cleaned up, a parting shot to make up for his failure to cow them earlier.

"Please don't tell her! She’s gonna make us read articles about conflict resolution again!"

"B come on that's no fair! You said we did good not letting those assholes get away with their bullying shit!"

"Language!"

Huh, Tim thought with a grin. Maybe the little demons weren't as terrifyingly unstoppable as he thought.