#I asked her for permission to post it in this form and she okayed it

[httpscomexe]

is chapter 4 of runaway will be coming out soon? just genuinely asking, take your time don't feel rushed!!! i absolutely adore your fics 😍😍

Runaway 4

Summary: Xavier takes others over you, leaving you with Logan's worst nightmare. Staying with Wade Wilson.

(Find What I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Parings: Logan Howlett x Hybrid!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, forced drinking, sexual jokes, fourth wall breaking. (Individual warnings per chapter) This will most likely be a non-con fic.

Word Count: 4155 (Find all chapters here) CH5

P.S. If you’d like to be tagged, ask in the comments, you also have permission to send an ask, but make sure it is NOT anonymous, so I know your username, don’t worry, I’m scared of confrontation too. But this is a SAFE SPACE where I will not judge. Thank you again.

It becomes sort of a routine with Logan.

Wake up, let him brush your hair, let him choose your clothes, study, eat dinner, let him brush your hair, sleep, and then repeat. Occasionally, he would have days where he was busy, and you knew better than to try finding Wade. Since he’d taken your phone as a punishment, you hadn’t been able to contact anyone else either. But you didn’t think much of it.

And right now, it was morning. The sun was shining through his open curtains, light shining onto your thighs as you sat on the floor, Logan sitting on the bench at the foot of the bed as he brushed through your hair, his fingers occasionally stroking over your ears.

“Okay, what does this word mean?” You held up the book you were reading, and you pointed at a word on the second page.

“Do you know how to say it…?” He asks you, still brushing through your hair, you weren’t sure why he still was, since there weren't any tangles left.

“Sub…Lim…” You try pronouncing the word, stuttering a little. “Inal?”

“Good, now say it all together.” He asks, taking a tie off his wrist to pull your hair up into a ponytail, but he changes his name and continues to brush it.

“Subliminal? What does that mean?”

“Read the sentence, try to figure it out…” He tells you, sectioning your hair now to part it into box braids.

“It says ‘As is typical with this method, no part… particip…ant… participant reported being aware of the sub…liminal faces.’” You struggle a little, and hear him chuckle behind you.

“Good, what do you think it means?”

“Well…” You think about it, trying to remember what Xavier had taught you about root words, and just as you’re about to explain your thought process, there’s a knock at the door, making your ear twitch slightly to the sound. “Ow…” You move your head away, the pointy end of the brush he was using the part of your hair pokes the sensitive skin of your ear.

“Shit… sorry… are you okay?” He quickly gets down to his knees, and his hand fans over your large ear, and there's another knock at the door, the person behind it getting impatient.

“I’m okay Lo, go see who’s at the door.” You gently nudge his hand away, and you watch as he sighs and stands up to open the door, leaving you to gently rub your ear. You weren’t sure why they were so sensitive, but you were sure it was because you weren’t grown in your deer form yet. You’ve only spent a few hours in that form in total in your many years of being alive, so of course, it wasn’t very… developed.

“Jean?” You can’t see too well from your position on the floor, the bed being in your way.

“Hey, I wanted to talk about something, is Bambi here?” You stay quiet.

“No, she’s out with a friend.” He clears his throat, and you understand what to do, you crawl to the other side of the bed so you wouldn’t be visible to Jean.

“Can I come in?” You hear Logan step inside, then lighter footsteps until Jean is sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So Xavier told me…” You hear the bed move a bit more, and assume Logan sat down next to her. “Having her here is too risky.”

“Too… risky?”

“Yes… Considering she’s a hybrid and all.” You hear her sigh. “Obviously, people are searching for those. And if anyone finds out that she’s here… Well… Then we’re compromising the safety of everyone in the mansion.”

“So what? He wants to just throw her out?”

“No, he will provide her with a home and clothes to hide her-”

“It’s not happening.”

“It’s not up to you, Logan.” By this time, your ears were already pinned down to the back of your head, and if you weren’t sitting on your ass, your tail would be between your legs.

“She will die…”

“She’s survived all this time alone already. What difference would there be?”

“Yea she’s survived!” He half shouts and half whispers. “She’s survived because they catch her and hold her like a fucking animal.”

“Logan, why are you whispering? We’re alone.” There’s silence for a few seconds, then a sigh comes from Jean. “Bambi, you can come out.” Your ear perks up slightly, but you don’t move, she wasn’t in control of you.

“Bambi honey, come on out.” You stand to Logan's demand, slowly before crawling onto the bed, sitting near Logan.

“Hey… Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You tell her, but your ears are still down.

“It’s just… If they find you here, it’s putting everyone else at risk, and Xavier would… Well he’d rather lose 1 hybrid than lose hundreds of mutants.”

“I understand.” You whisper, but your eyes meet Logans.

“When does Xavier want her gone?” Logan's voice comes out gruff.

“As soon as possible. He was hoping this afternoon.”

“And why isn’t he the one telling me this? Why did he send you?” She’s quiet again apart from a sigh. “God he’s a fucking pussy.” His head turns towards you. “There’s a duffle bag in the closet, start throwing our clothes in it Bambi.” He stands up, and Jean stands up with him, a stunned look on her face with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry… Our?” She watches as you disappear into the closet, and her jaw goes slack as Logan follows behind you. “No, no. Logan, you can’t leave.”

“Says who?”

“Says me, Logan. We need you on missions.” She stands at the opening of the closet, and you ignore their conversation, deciding it doesn’t have to do with you.

“You guys will do just fine without me.” He says, reaching over your head to grab a heavy jacket. “Here hun, carry this one. It’s cold outside.”

“Logan-” She grabs his arm, and tries to pull on him. “You can’t-”

“No.” His tone changes completely, from just simple annoyance to straight anger and frustration. He clearly wasn’t happy about Xaviers negligence, and the last thing he needed was the stubborn red head pulling on his arm and telling him he can’t. “I am not leaving her out alone in fucking New York to be kidnapped by another fucking gang.” He pulls his arm away from her and he points in her face. “If you guys need my help so fucking bad, then you better talk to Xavier and figure out a way she can stay here.”

“Logan, there are hundreds of lives on the line, you could at LEAST do the logical thing.”

“The logical thing?” His voice gets louder, and you take a small step away but continue folding clothes and stuffing them into the duffle bag. “I lost my entire fucking family and everyone I knew in my fucking universe, and Bambi is the closest thing I have to family here.”

“The closest thing you have to a family? Logan you fight beside us in missions that could end up with the entire state exploded to dust and what? We’re not your family?”

“No, you’re not. The Jean that was my family is fucking dead, the Xavier that was my family, guess what? He’s fucking dead…” You glance over from the corner of your eye to see Logan take a progressive step towards him with each name. “Ororo, Hank, Scott, everyone that was my fucking family is dead. So excuse me if I don’t want to see a walking fucking corpse every last waking second of my life, and be reminded of my fuck up, everytime I see you motherfuckers…” Jean was now packed into a corner, Logan's face barely inches away from hers, and you can see the way her jaw is clenching. “So don’t you fucking dare tell me what I can, and can not do. I have no connection to you, and will have no fucking problem sending three fucking blades down the centre of your throat.” She doesn’t say anything, only swallowing her spit before her eyes move to yours, still in the closet and frozen in the middle of folding a pair of Logan's jeans before you had become invested in their argument.

You’ve never seen Logan so pissed.

“Fine… Leave.” She looks back up at Logan. “Have the lives of a couple more hundred people in your hands because you left, again.” Shit… You watch as his claws slowly extract from his hands, and you put the jeans down, slowly approaching in case Jean becomes a target.

“You better take that back…” They stare at each other for a long moment. Only the sound of the fan above spinning and the heavy breathing from Logan could be heard through the room.

“Make. Me.” Logan.

“Oh…” He chuckles. Logan…! “Now you’ve done it…” Logan!

“Logan!” Your voice comes out small, and his head twitches a little as he looks over his shoulder. He looks as if he had forgotten you were there. “Can we leave… Please?” You glance down as his claws are hidden back beneath his skin, and it heals over quickly.

“Right…” He growls a little, and backs away from Jean after one last look. “Are you ready then?” He asks, ignoring Jean now as he goes into the closet and lifts the duffle bag, tossing in the last pair of jeans before zipping it up.

“Yes I’m ready…” You stand in the centre of the room awkwardly. “I guess…” You mumble, and Logan sways his hand in front of him, signalling for you to move ahead of him as he grabs his keys, and you’re out of the door quickly, leaving Jean alone in the room, and his arm slides behind your back to walk next to you.

You were sitting in the passenger seat, watching in the mirror as Logan tossed the bag in the back, slamming the door and making the truck shake a little before getting behind the wheel and starting the engine.

“So where are we going?” He sighs, thinking of an answer to the question with one hand on the wheel as he stares at nothing. Then he reaches into his back pocket, and takes out his phone, handing it to you. “Call Wade.” You take the phone. “Act happy or whatever, and ask if he has space for both you and me…” He growls a little again, looking out his window as you find Wade’s name in his contacts, and you ring it.

“Peanut? And I thought you deleted my number.” The sound of Wade's voice alone was enough to make you smile.

“No, it's me.” You chuckle a little, expecting him to recognise your voice.

“Oh, darling. Bambi, you’re using Logans’ phone. Everything okay?”

“Yes. Everything is fine. But he and I were wondering if you had space for both him and me?”

“They’re kicking him out already?”

“No, they’re kicking me out actually.”

“What? That’s ridiculous. I have the couch, and I have an air mattress that I let Logan sleep on before he left me for one-eye. You guys can obviously stay here.” Logan sighs, but he starts the engine and speaks up.

“Still living under that bridge with Althea?” He asks gruffly.

“Of course, I wouldn't want to leave this humble abode. But peanut?” Logan grunts. “Do you mind picking up dinner? I’ll pay you back. We just need pizza.”

“Sure. What kind?” He turns over his shoulder and begins backing out.

“Hawaiian, no ham. And then just normal cheese.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks pea-” Logan reaches over and hangs up before putting the truck back in forward and he drives out of the parking lot, leaving the mansion behind.

“Can we also get some brownies?” You ask, putting the phone on the centre console.

“Of course, Bambi.”

“Oh, my two most favourite things ever are here!” Wades’ voice is joyful as both you and Logan walk inside of his little home, the smell of sweat and dog smacking you in the face.

“Male strippers and cocaine?” Another voice comes from a different room.

“Bambi and pizza!” He hugs you, and Logan grunts from behind. “Male strippers is my third favourite, silly.” He calls back, letting go of you and taking the pizza boxes from your hand.

“Hey Bam, how about you go shower, the bathrooms back there.” He points to the room where the other voice came from. Just another person comes out, wearing glasses and with a white afro and walking cane in one hand.

“Who the hell gives birth and names their kid ‘bam?’” She says, feeling around a little for the couch and mumbling something along the lines of ‘why does Wade keep moving the fucking couch.’ “That’s a stupid-”

“Her name is actually Bambi.”

“That’s a little better.” Just a few sentences in conversation between Wade and Althea, and you could tell just how close they really were besides their constant bantering. “Wait, her?”

“I know right? Logan managed to pick up a little girl.” Wade says giddily, placing the pizza boxes on the table and opening them all before taking two cheese, a pineapple, and three brownies.

“Oh then it’s not as surprising, I thought she was your girl.”

“Look, Wade and I need to have a talk.” Logan says suddenly, gently grabbing your arm to get you to look at him. “How about you go take that shower, okay?” You nod, and take some clothes from the duffle bag he's set on the floor.

“I promise the bathroom is the cleanest place in this house.” Wade tells you as you walk by, grabbing a brownie as you pass him. 

“Just ignore Wade's toys, he uses them when Vanessa is around.” Vanessa? “Or whenever Gossip Girls is playing… Wish I was deaf.”

You walk into the bathroom, the sound of Logan's voice disappearing as you close the door, and your eyes immediately land on the large dildo sticking to the wall, which you try your hardest to ignore and not laugh at as you turn on the faucet and remove your clothes.

With the time that you’re in the shower, Logan takes his time explaining to Wade why they need a place to stay for a while, at least until they find another place.

“God they are such pieces of shit. Like I get where they’re coming from with saving hundreds or saving one, but there’s also like either you save one hundred chickens or you save one unicorn. One’s just more important. You don’t find any mammal hybrids anymore.”

“Exactly, but also Jean got pissed off at me because I told her I’m leaving. Apparently I’m so important and they can’t win without me.” He takes a large sip from his beer, an understatement when half the bottle disappears down his throat.

“I mean they’ve survived and fought so long without this world's Logan before…” Wade tells him, snatching another cheese pizza.

“Look, if I ever end up having to leave…” He sighs, regretting his next words. “Just promise to take care of Bambi. Other than you, she’s all I have left.”

“Wow, talking about me like my life doesn’t matter.” He chuckles, shoving the cheesy bread into his mouth, getting the red sauce on his lips.

“Well you can’t die, she can.”

“Now, now. I was joking, Peanut.” Logan grunts at the use of the nickname.

“What’s this girl's real name anyways?” Althea asks, using a nail fail on her nails, not even realising how incredibly crooked they were becoming.

“No idea, I’ve been calling her Bambi cause… Well, she’s a deer hybrid.”

“Ah, ah. She’s a fawn hybrid.”

“Fawn isn’t a fucking species, it’s an age.”

“Yes, but she’s not a deer.”

“Pretty sure she’s full grown.”

“Maybe in her human form. But she hasn’t spent nearly enough time in her deer form to call herself a deer.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“Look at it this way, if she spent the majority of her life in her deer form, then she’d be a full grown deer, and whenever she turned into her human form, she’d be a toddler. Right now, she’s a toddler in her deer form, AKA, a fawn.” He pauses and looks away from Logan, eyes landing on Althea. “Al honey, if you keep doing that to your nails, they’ll be sharp enough to give someone a Prince Albert piercing.” He looks away from Althea and at a wall. “Readers, I don’t suggest looking that up.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Logan growls, and he can hear the sound of the shower being turned off.

“He does that sometimes, you learn to ignore it.”

“Maybe you do, but you’re blind. He literally just stared at the fucking wall and spoke to dust.”

“Like I said, you get used to it.”

As you get out of the shower and dry yourself, some sort of talk about walls and dust quickly changes into how Wade is a psychopath. Throughout your entire shower, you were thinking about where you’d be sleeping. Of course, knowing Logan, he’d let you choose between either the air mattress or the couch. The problem is, you didn’t know what’s been done on either of them. You knew Wade pretty well, and judging by the dildo still suctioned onto the wall, he didn’t really care who knew about what he did, and he didn’t mind where he did it. So you were sure there would be stains on either one.

“There she is.” Wade automatically silences the conversation as you walk out of the bedroom and back into the living room wearing only your favourite white lace panties and one of Logans’ hoodies, which looked oversized on your smaller body.

“Want the couch or the air mattress Bambi?” There it is. You still had the towel in your hands, and you were drying your hair as you sat next to him on the couch.

“Yea I had a question for you about that.”

“What’s up?”

“Is the couch even…” You look at Wade. “Clean?” You ask it in the nicest way you can, and the sight of Althea suddenly breaking out in laughter seems to stun Wade.

“Careful now, don’t want to have a stroke.”

“Oh fuck you.” She stops laughing and looks in your general direction. “Want my honest input.” You nod, but then remember she’s blind.

“Yes, please.”

“Sleep on the floor.” She tells you, then stands up with her walking cane, and heads towards her room, closing the door behind her.

“Logan, where would you rather sleep?” You expect him not to answer, and to just tell you that where he sleeps is based on your answer.

“I’d prefer the couch, an air mattress is like sleeping on a damn rock.”

“Can I just… Can I just sleep on you?”

“Oh. My. God. You better say yes, she’s offering to sleep with you.” Wade stands up from the couch, stretching in place before heading to Althea's room. They sleep together?

“Wade, we sleep together all the time.” Logan sighs.

“It was supposed to be a sex joke, Sheldon Cooper.”

“Who…?”

“Ignore it…” Logan holds his hand out, preventing you from saying anything else.

“Goodnight, Peanut. Goodnight, Bambi!” He calls from the room before closing the door, and you can hear the sound of him throwing his jeans down on the floor before the bed in the room creaks under his weight.

“So…”

“What do you mean sleep on me?” Logan asks, interrupting you.

“I mean like… You sleep on the couch, and I sleep on your body. Like you’re my bed.” He stares at you for a moment, as if deciphering your request.

“Yea… Yea, we can do that, that’s okay.” He groans as he stands up, tossing his beer bottle in a pile of more bottles, some broken from previous other bottles being tossed on them.

“I’m gonna eat first though, does Wade have anything to drink?” You ask, standing up as well, and skipping a little to his fridge.

“Ugh… I know he has beer.” He tells you, opening another closet and pulling out a few blankets as you open the fridge and search for something other than alcohol. You simply will not touch it.

“Gross… Is the sink water-”

“Don’t even think about drinking the sink water.”

“What does he give her?” You point down at the slobbery looking dog that’s been snoring this entire time, kicking her legs in her sleep.

“Probably his own saliva.” He tells you, and it almost sounded serious as he covers the couch in clean blankets. “Did you bring your hairbrush?” You nod, walking back over to the couch. “The beer?” He quirks his eyebrow, reaching down to find the hairbrush in the duffle bag.

“Beer is gross.”

“Grab me one then.” You turn back around, opening the fridge again to grab a beer for him. “Sit here.” He points to the couch, and you sit exactly where he’s pointing, and he sits behind you on the back of the couch as you’re seated between his legs.

“Thank you baby.” He takes the beer from your hands, and removes the few braids he was able to get in from that morning and afterwards he pops the beer open.

“How does your ear feel?” He asks once they’re all out, gently touching your ear with his fingers and stroking the fur gently, causing you to purr quietly.

“It’s fine, it was just a poke.”

“Good, I didn’t mean to hurt you Bambi…”

“I know, it was my fault. I moved.” He doesn’t say anything back, instead, he grabs the hairbrush and begins to gently brush through your hair, and again, as always, he’s careful to avoid your ears, using his hands to gently pull threads of your hair off the fur.

“Are you sure you don’t want the couch to yourself?”

“Logan, you know I don’t like sleeping alone.”

“I know, Bamb. Just trying to make conversation.” He tells you, and you reach forward, him gently letting go of your hair so he doesn’t pull it as you grab two cheese pizzas, the pineapple box completely empty.

“You have to drink something.” He continues brushing your hair, occasionally taking a sip of his beer as he focuses on brushing.

“I know, but beer is gross… We can always go out and get apple juice in the morning?” You suggest, and he sighs behind you.

“You haven’t drank anything all day.” He tells you, and you look up and over your shoulder at him as he sets the brush aside and puts more of the liquid in his mouth, you watch as his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

“I’ll be alright.” You tell him as he stares down at you, and his right hand finds your chin as he lifts your face up slightly. Then he presses a single kiss to the corner of your lips, pulling back for a moment to take another swig of his beer, and his lips find yours fully now. His fingers squeeze your jaw carefully, but enough to force your own lips open, and he spits the alcohol into your mouth, making you involuntarily pull away but he keeps you still, replacing his mouth with his hand and covering your nose as well so you’re forced to drink the foul liquid.

“Now we either do that about five more times, or you drink the rest yourself.” He tells you, holding the half-filled bottle up to your eye level.

“Fine…” You groan, taking the bottle and sipping from it as he watches you.

“Good girl…” Your tail begins to wag on its own again at his praise and he removes his shirt before lying down on the couch with only a lamp on a small table next to the couch to illuminate a small portion of the room.

“Do I have to drink it all?”

“Just half is okay.” He tells you, and you close your nose before downing half of what he’s given you, hacking a little at the taste.

“Done.” You hold out the bottle to him, and he takes it, swallowing the rest before tossing the bottle towards the rest as before.

“Alright, lie down…” He pats his stomach a little, and you quickly crawl on top of him, taking a soft blanket from the side with you.

“So… since we’re living with Wade now…”

“You don’t have to ignore him…” He answers your question before you even finish asking it, and he shuts off the light behind him, casting the room in darkness, barely seconds later you feel his hand on your head as he gently scratches that spot behind your ear, making you purr.

You were relieved you wouldn’t have to ignore Wade, considering you’d be living with them for who knows how long.

“Just don’t ever sleep with him when I’m not here.”

Tags: @shybluebirdninja @atomicheartbroken @hazydespair

[namikawa]

— [the perfect host]

featuring: s. geto, s. gojo

cw: smut, implied threesome, cunnulingus, implied m/m, phone sex (?), daddy kink (ofc), established relationship (reader & gojo), fingering, fem reader, chubby reader, getting “caught” masturbating, use of the word cunt (sorry lol), aftercare, not proofread fr, anything else i forgot lolz, pet names (mama, baby, pretty, sweetheart, love). wc: n/a.

notes: this is actually a fic my friend wrote (never published) & i re did it with two diff characters & finished it for her cause she never did… so if yall like it GO TO HER BLOG ILL TAG HER. this wasn’t my og idea i just wrote the smut and tweaked & added. but enjoy pls, sorry i haven’t posted in so long life has beat me up. @nvmjccnluv !!!

“so explain to me why i’m watching her again, she seems completely capable of staying in your apartment alone yknow.” suguru questions over the phone. it’s not that he hates you, but what if he was busy? he wasn’t, but gojo didn’t need to know that, he didn’t even ask to be fair. quickly dropping you off after handing the long haired man a small bag of your things.

on the other end of the phone gojo lets out a huff of laughter. “had a few things to finish up, she gets too lonely when i leave her at home so i didn’t want her getting into things. you know how it is.”

“i actually don’t, but okay man.”

“anyway, she doesn’t like many people but she didn’t seem to mind you the last time we hung out, you seemed like a safe option.” gojo continues, sounding a bit strained.

“okay, whatever, fine.”

“where’s she at anyways? if she was with you she would’ve jumped your bones to get to the phone.”

walking toward the the closed door in the hallway, geto chuckles before reassuring his friend. “relax dude, she’s in the room taking a na- holy shit.”

-

“what happened??”

the dark haired man places his ear on the door to make sure he’s not hallucinating, not saying that he’s hoping to be.

muffled moans greet his ears, but not muffled enough evidently. no, you wanted him to hear. he would have to pass by your room anyways, given that you two would be sharing a wall for the night. but him being on the phone with your boyfriend was just a coincidence, an extremely embarrassing one.

he listens to your soft whines and high pitched whimpers for what feels like days, though its hasn’t even been half a minute, paying no mind to the man yelling at him on the phone.

“SUGURU? ANSWER ME! IS SHE OKAY? I SWEAR IF SOMETHING HAPPE-” at this point geto tries to think as hard as possible to come up with a lie that won’t get him killed by his friend.

snapping out of his daze, he finally gets enough courage to respond, “yeah um i’m pretty sure, maybe i’m wrong, i think she’s uh masturbating.”

“oh, oh okay” suguru can basically hear a smirk he knows all to well forming on gojos mouth. “don’t be a rude host, go help her out man.”

what the fuck is he talking about help you out? he can’t be understanding that this is his girlfriend he’s talking about, right? on top of that, shouldn’t he be asking you for consent as well.

“are you insane man? i know you’re into all that weird shit, but her? she’d probably kill me before i even got close to the bed and throw my dead body out of my own apartment.” as nice as it sounds he didn’t know if you’d be okay with any of this. he wasn’t going to just walk straight in, right?

there’s a loud howl that comes directly from the other end of the phone. “are you really being this much of a pussy right now? i’m giving you full permission to go help my girl out, and you wanna whine about how she might kill y-”

“shut the hell up man, i didn’t say anything about being a pussy.”

“alright, then there shouldn’t be an issue with you helping her out. don’t sit up on your high horse and act like you haven’t thought about it before, i know just how those perverted thoughts of yours work, don’t you rememb-”

“okay okay shut up satoru, im going.”

pushing open the door, the first thing geto notices is your hand rubbing lightly between your soft thighs and how your wetness soaks the bed, clear evidence of how needy you were. how long have you been at it?

gojo can hear you so clearly over the phone, he might as well be in the room with you, “shit, is that her pussy i’m hearing? whats it look like?” he questions, but unfortunately for him he receives no answer.

suguru is too busy enjoying the view and listening to the pathetic little sounds coming from your cunt. his sweatpants are slowly starting to fit a little tighter than before, but he doesn’t make any movements yet, just in case you don’t wanna play this little game.

almost immediately your soft eyes flutter open and lock into his, and he swears he just came in his pants.

“sugi, please, it hurts so much,” you whine out to him, desperate for his veiny hands on you. your own hand never seems to falter though, only moving in more erratic circles around your sensitive clit; while your other hand is busy touching your nipples, trying to get the most stimulation possible.

knowing that you were just as needy for him as he was for you made the man’s confidence peak. he gives you a light smile as he walks closer to the bed, softly sitting down next to you. he leans over you a bit, close enough to where you can smell the minty, almost overpowering, scent of his shampoo. half his hair loosely tied up in a bun, the other half falling past his shoulders as he looks down at you.

“something wrong, pretty? those fingers not doing enough for you, right? don’t ‘cha wanna wait for your boyfriend to come back so he can help you out, he’s on the phone you know.”

his soft hands begin to work at your thighs, but it seems like it’ll never be any more than that. continuing for a little longer, he presses the speaker button on his phone, handing it over to you as you pull away from your core.

“can you hear me, sweetheart?” gojo asks, now finally getting some time to speak to you after being ignored for so long. “i gave sugi permission to help you out, okay? does that sound alright to you?” he utilizes the small nickname you’d given his friend, innocently coercing you to be good.

you give a small “mmm” in agreement. then, opening your legs, you grab at suguru’s hand and place it between your thighs, just barely touching your cunt.

gojo continues, smiling to himself on the other side of the device. “‘kay. i’m gonna talk you through it, just so i know you’re treating my girl right. take two of your fingers and stuff it inside of her, she’ll clench up at first but just keep working at it and she’ll open up, okay? maybe if you do good, you can have something too.”

geto lets out an annoyed breath, short, but just long enough for gojo to catch it. he knows what that means. what’s even stopping him from fucking you in first place? it’s not like gojo would know. but as he looks into your pleading eyes he realizes he’d do anything to make sure you’re content and happy.. even if that means listening to satoru’s perverted requests.

his fingers slide down to rub at your clit just a bit, before burying his pointer and ring finger deep into your cunt, you clench so tight around him, it makes him feel like he’s dreaming the way your teeth suck at your bottom lip attempting to hide your whines.

“cmon pretty, open up for me. promise i’ll make you feel good, okay?”

a throaty whimper slides from between your lips as geto’s fingers work you open. “‘s good sugi, please like that more.” you scoot down a little more, chasing his fingers to get even just a little more stimulation.

“next you’re gonna press on her clit, just a little though she’s a sensitive little thing.” gojo groans out, it’s obvious he’s taken a break from his work to focus on… other things.

“yeah yeah, i know how to use my fingers, asshole.” suguru voices, clearly annoyed. although, he still abides by the instructions and moves his thumb to press on your clit just a tiny bit. your back arches away from his fingers almost immediately, like a natural instinct, he grabs your plush hips with his other hand, pulling you back down. “nuh uh, c’mere sweet girl, you wanted my help you’re gonna get it.”

his delicate fingers curve upward into you and you feel as if you’re floating on cloud nine, the way he flicks them at just the right speed while managing to hold you down and deepen his movements. it’s all too much for him you.

the sound of gojo’s voice breaks geto out of his daze, “fuck, i gotta go suguru. i know you’ll take care of her. i’m gonna have to cut this shit short, i’ll try to come back later tonight instead of tomorrow morning. love you guys, love you baby, be good for sugi okay?” geto’s eyes immediately flicker to yours, and you see just a little bit of what you think could be fear, or excitement, in his eyes.

“bye daddy, love you too.” you whine out, hearing a quick click before the call ends.

“daddy?” he questions. “knew he was into some shit, didn’t know you were too, sweet girl. you’re too pretty and innocent, or at least you put up a good act.” his fingers slide out of you as he snickers, not ignoring the way you pout at the loss of stimuli.

“nah, not gonna leave you here all needy don’t worry mama, just gonna do it my way, that sound good to you?” geto grabs you by your hips as you choke out a small “yea”, pushing you closer to the headboard of the bed. he fully removes his hair tie and throws all of it up into a bun, swiftly grabbing your underwear and pulling it off.

you look down at him as he crawls closer to you on his stomach, wrapping his arms around your thighs and closing them around his head. you feel his fingers spread your cunt apart, licking a long stripe onto you. your body tenses up, and on instinct your hand finds its way into suguru’s hair, tugging lightly. his head perks up at you, smiling, but eventually just deciding to leave you be.

his tongue swipes over your clit, taking small breaths occasionally as he tastes your cunt. neither one of you know who this is really for at this point. he’s supposed to be ‘helping you’ but with the tent growing in his sweats he might as well be doing this for his own pleasure instead. you continue to take harsh pulls at his dark strands, so unfamiliar to you. mostly with satoru you opted for scratching at his shoulders or gripping at the sheets due to the length he kept his hair, but this, this was something you could get used to.

“sugi please, m so close, want it so bad, need you to make me cum.” you cry out, loving the way his nose rubs against your clit as he licks.

he doesn’t say anything, he can’t really, but you know he understands. he grips your thighs tighter, licking the same way as before, occasionally sucking at your clit, and before you know it you’re squirming all over his face as that familiar feeling rushes over you.

the only thing that suguru could make out of your cries were “thank you”, “so good”, and “daddy”? he wasn’t sure if you were calling him daddy or if you wanted gojo, but at this point it didn’t really matter to him. he pleased you and that’s all he needed to make him feel better.

as he lifted his head up from your pussy he could already tell how tired you were getting, he immediately grabbed you a change of clothes that gojo had packed and cleaned you up with a wet washcloth. “everything okay, mama? need anything?” your eyes strain open and you smile at the man standing above you, “i’m okay, thank you for your help. will you stay?” you could tell that he genuinely cared for you, and was worried he had done something wrong by the tone in his voice. him staying was more for him rather than yourself, not that you were complaining.

he pulled off his shirt as he crawled into bed next to you. grabbing his phone from the bedside table he saw that gojo had sent him a message.

“i’ll take care of you both when i’m back, cause i’m betting you didn’t take anything for yourself. see you both soon ;)”

suguru chuckled to himself at the message from his friend, looking down at you peacefully sleeping on his chest. maybe he could get used to something like this? but for now, he’s content.

[ninii-winchester]

Unveiled Sorrows (Epilogue)

Paring : Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester X Reader (platonic)

Word count: 2.6k

Warning : angst, slight s6 spoilers (nothing major) mention of lucifer, fluff, unedited.

A/n : This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

"Daddy's home." Dean yelled opening the front door. Y/n emerged from the kitchen with Adeline on her hip, a small smile on her face as he moved inside the house.

"Daddy's home? Really?" She questioned with an amused look on her face. Adeline noticed her father and started wiggling in her mother's embrace, eager to go to her daddy.

"I was talking to my princess." He replied with a grin, taking Adeline from Y/n, cooing at the little baby and kissing her chubby cheeks. Y/n raised a brow at him and he sighed defeatedly. "Fine. I thought you might wan-" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Don't even." Y/n replied interrupting him. Dean let out a laugh and pulled her in for a kiss. "I missed you." She mumbled against his lips.

"I missed you more." One of his arms was holding Adeline securely while the other hand slithered around her waist, pulling her even closer. "Missed my girls so much." He dropped a kiss to Adeline's forehead.

"Where's Sam?" Y/n questioned as Dean let go off her, following him to the living room. He dropped on to the couch and made Adeline sit on his chest.

"Some case, salt and burn I guess." Dean replied with a shrug. Y/n nodded going back into the kitchen. She was in the middle of preparing lunch before Dean arrived, so she went back to it. Dean frowned at that, he had expected her to smother him, not leave his side for at-least a few hours.

Y/n had been so lost in thought, she didn't realise the patty was burning and the smoke filled the kitchen. Dean placed Adeline on the floor before he rushed inside the kitchen. He turned off the stove and tossed the pan in the sink before opening the windows. He grabbed her by the shoulders breaking her out of her reverie. She jumped as he touched her and looked at him wide eyed.

"Sweetheart you okay?" Dean asked pulling her out of the kitchen and she nodded. He made her sit on the couch and kneeled in-front of her. "Baby what's wrong? You've been acting strange." She looked at him with an indecipherable expression. He hated seeing her so vulnerable and unsure. "Did something happen while I was away?"

"I've been thinking." She started and Dean's heart started beating faster. At this moment he didn't want to know what she had been thinking. Had she been thinking of leaving him? Did she finally realise that he'd been cruel to her and wants to do the same to him? Is his bad karma coming to bite him in his ass? Would he be able to recover from losing her once again?

"What have you been thinking?" Dean's voice almost cracked, he cleared his throat as he felt a lump forming. His voice was filled with emotion.

"Ever since you left I've had time to think, and now that the haze of fear has cleared, I wonder if I made the right decision. In that moment all I wanted was you, for you to protect me, and Adeline. But now, I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore." Her heart was breaking as she spoke, she loves him, honest to God. But she wondered if it was really enough. For her, or him.

Dean took a deep breath, he felt his body was on fire and his emotions were all over the place, he didn't know to react. His mistakes are now catching up to him and there's nothing he can do about it. "What did I do to make you feel this way?" He had to ask, he needed to know if could make this right somehow.

"I don't know, Dean. Part of me wonders if you felt obligated to stay with us after the whole shifter ficasso. What changed, Dean?"

"I didn't, I wanted to be with you for as long as I can remember, way before the shifter, even before I went to Hell." He confessed honestly. "I don't love you sweetheart, I am in love with you. You and our baby girl are the most important things in my life. I've been stupid, I've made mistakes but God knows I've always wanted to be with you, there's no obligation." His voice cracked, tears welling up in his eyes.

It was silent for a minutes. Y/n's gaze lingered at the little baby, babbling and crawling around the living room. Oblivious to the heartbreak unfolding around her. "Did you sleep with her?" The question caught him off guard. She didn't want to look at his face, even if she did ask the question, she was afraid of the answer.

"No." He replied instantly. But it wasn't defensive, just honest. "I never did, nor did I have any intention of doing so." He placed his fingers under her chin making her look at him. "I promised Sam I'd let you be and go to her and that was the only reason I lived with her. Maybe he knew I'd go insane without you and him. That night at Bobby's, I told you it was just familiarity with her. That was the truth."

"I'm scared Dean." Y/n whispered. Dean's heart broke at her words. Of course she had all the reason to be scared, to not trust him. He wouldn't blame her if she told him to leave and never come back. "I love you, I do and that's what scares me the most." She cried.

Dean sat up a bit, so he was resting on his knees. "I know, sweetheart. You have every reason to be scared." He cupped her cheek, wiping her tears with the pad of his thumb.

"When you left, a fear settled in, that you might never come back." Her confession broke him. His tears were now cascading down his cheeks. He felt resentful of himself, he'd broken her, someone so beautiful and fragile, beyond repair. He felt suffocated in his own skin.

"I hate myself for putting you through what I did, I know I don't deserve you, I know your love is too pure for someone like, and I wouldn't hold it against you if you'd never want to see me again. But please, don't leave me, baby." He said his voice wavering with each word.

"I don't hate you Dean. But I'm terrified." She replied holding his face in her hands. He closed his eyes, relishing in her touch, as if it would be the last time he'd be able to feel her. "I know you might think I'm crazy, that I led you on when I told you I forgive you. I did forgive you Dean and I do want you but.." she exhaled.

"None of that, sweetheart." He shook his head. He might've thought she was crazy when she forgave him so easily but right now, he understands where she's coming from. "I understand. I know this is hard, but if only you'd let me prove you wrong. I'd spend the rest of my life trying, I'll come back to you. Wherever you and Addy are. You're my home."  

"I trust you. I'm sorry for troubling you when you just got back, I-"

"Don't apologise for how you feel. I've hurt you, it's my responsibility to make it up to you. You need assurance and I'll give it you every waking second. I just want you to know. I love you and I'm never leaving you ever again. I'm here as long as you'll have me." They aren't just words, and Y/n could see that. The determination, the love in his eyes, that's the Dean the she fell in love in. The Dean who would never let anything bad happen to her, the Dean who jumped in front of bullets, claws and demons to keep her safe. That's her Dean.

Instead of answering him, she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. She took a deep breath as she snuggled in his embrace. The soft thumping of his heart, calming her nerves. Dean threaded his fingers through her hair softly. He ran his down her back soothingly.

"How about you rest for a while, baby?" He asked pulling apart. She nodded her head and he helped her lay down comfortably on the couch, he grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch and laid in on her. "I'll be right here when you wake up." He kissed her forehead before going to pick his little angel.

Little Adeline whined as Dean picked her up from the floor, pulling her away from her toys that she was so happily chewing but then she stared at her face and bit his cheek with her toothless gums. "I'm glad to know you're not upset with daddy, little angel." Dean chuckled humourlessly as she continued to hold his face with her little hands and kept attacking him.

About an hour later the front door opened and walked in Sam, while Dean was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess after he was done preparing lunch. Sam was about to holler, announcing his presence but stopped when he saw Y/n sleeping on the couch. He made his way to the kitchen and saw his brother wearing an apron, cleaning the countertop and Adeline watching her father work, securely strapped in a high chair.

"You'd make good housewife, Dean." Sam joked opening the fridge to grab himself a beer. The older Winchester glared at his brother but continued his work. "Everything okay?" Sam asked noticing the lack of reaction from his brother.

"No, she still think I might leave and never come back." Dean replied lowly and Sam immediately felt guilty. If it wasn't for his stupid promise, his brother and best friend wouldn't have suffered the way they did.

"Dean, I'm sorry." Sam started, "it was my fault and you two are still reeling from it."

"Hey cmon man you didn't know. Its all on me. If I wasn't such a coward and told you from the start." Dean stopped himself before could spiral down the self pity hole. "Never mind it. You go freshen up, I'll wake Y/n for lunch." Dean said grabbing Adeline and leaving the kitchen. He let Adeline pat her mother's face lightly and watched as Y/n stirred awake. A bright smile took over her features as soon as she saw her baby.

"Hey gorgeous. Wake up, Addy and Daddy made lunch for you." Dean chuckled at his own stupid rhyming. Y/n smiled as sat up stretching a bit. "Did you sleep well?"

"Surprisingly yeah." She replied honestly. She hadn't been sleeping well since Dean had left, scared out of her senses but knowing he was here, she slept like a baby.

A few days passed, Sam kept finding cases but Dean refused to go with him this soon. He told him to either tell someone else to go or call for other backup. Just because he wasn't going out there with him, didn't mean he wanted his brother to hunt alone. He just wanted to keep his family safe.

One evening Y/n was playing with Adeline in her and Dean's bedroom, she let out a huge sigh when Dean exited the bathroom. Dean raised his brow questioningly when she looked at him.

"I'm upset with you daddy, Adeline." She said to her daughter, sporting a playful pout.

"Why is mommy upset with me, Addy?" Dean asked sitting on the bed the duo.

"Daddy went to fairyland and didn't bring us a souvenir." Y/n grinned at him and he rolled his eyes groaning loudly.

"I'm gonna go kill your uncle Sammy, little angel. Just wait here for daddy." He said and Y/n burst out laughing. Although she didn't understand anything, the little baby also joined her mother, giggling loudly.

"Did you serve King Oberon, Dean?" Y/n asked wiping a tear away from her eyes. Her laugh uncontrollable. His feign anger and glared at her playfully.

"You're lucky, I love you." Dean replied sassily, before settling beside her. She continued to laugh and pretended to be hurt but he felt immense joy seeing her laugh and smile. He'd let her tease him mercilessly if it meant her being happy, if it meant seeing her beautiful smile, the soft crinkling of her nose or hear her beautiful laugh.

He knows what he wants. This is what he wants for the rest of his life and he'd be damned if he let it slip through his fingers ever again.

A month later, Dean took Y/n out on a date. Sam had willingly volunteered to babysit since he knows it's a big day and the two of them need it. Dean made reservations for a fancy restaurant, cleaned Baby spotless and dressed up nicely. He was a nervous wreck the whole time. They had a nice dinner, drank wine, which Dean hated but tried not to show it.

"There's something I wanna say." Dean said clearing his throat. Y/n tensed a bit unknowingly. He grabbed her hand on the table and caressed the back of it with his thumb. "I am leaving hunting." Y/n's eyes widened as she choked on her own saliva.

"What?" She exclaimed and he let out a chuckle.

"Yes. I'm getting out. Just like you did."

"But hunting is your life!" She knew how much he loved doing what he does, it's all he's ever known. He told her once that hunting makes him feel alive.

"It was. But now you're my life. Adeline is." Dean replied with ease, because that's the truth. Hunting doesn't seem exciting anymore. Waking up next to her does. Playing with Adeline does. Looking for to spending time with his family does.

"De, I need you to think about this and not make a decision in haste. Because that would be a whole mountain of stupid. Even for you." She wouldn't want to him to do something he doesn't want to. She would never ask him to give up such an important aspect of his life.

"Did you just quote Lucifer to me?" He looked at incredulously. She shrugged with a smirk. "Baby I'm trying to propose and you're quoting Lucifer?" He let out an amused chuckle.

"You're WHAT?"

"Well I was getting there before you said that. So as I was saying, I'm quitting because I want to have a normal life with you. I want us to be an actual family. And when I thought about it you're the only one in this family who doesn't have Winchester in her name. It isn't fair, you know." He rounded the table and knelt before her. "So will do you me the honour of being my wife, and becoming Y/n Winchester?"

"What.... What are you saying?" She stuttered not believing whatever he said. He chuckled at her shocked expression.

"Will you marry me, sweetheart?"

"Yes! Hell yes.!" She jumped up from her chair, pulling him up with her. She didn't even wait for him to put the ring of her finger and her smashed her lips to his'. "Oh God, I love you."

"And I love you." Dean said slipping the ring in her finger. A platinum ring with a single round diamond, sparkled subtly on her finger. Its simplicity spoke volumes without being gaudy.

“We gotta get pie.” She smiled through her tears. Dean threw his head back as he let out a loud laugh.

“Definitely.”

They embraced tightly, hearts overflowing with happiness as they savored the moment. With laughter and tears, their journey took a beautiful new turn towards forever.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber

@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart

@riah1606 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @hobby27

@starkleila @suckitands33 @m3ntally-unstable

[dorabledewdroop]

The White Healer Chapter 4

Note: Hi guys, I'm really sorry for not posting sooner. I've had a couple of family problems and haven't exactly been in the best headspace. I'll work on posting more frequently. I hope you like this chapter, it's longer than other's cause there's so much I wanted to put out there.

Warnings: Blood, graphic description of injuries, angst.

Summary: Just a chapter where everyone gets to know reader better.

Series Masterlist

X--X--X--X--X

As it turns out, the team building activity that you were dreading turned out to be Jenga. While unsure how it built team character, it did work on making your more comfortable with the rest of the team. Due to you still being new to the team, you had requested a month to work out by yourself so that you could get back into shape. As horrible as the scientists had been, they did teach you an efficient way to get into peak performance. Working out from 12am till 5am everyday was good enough. Within the third week, you had already noticed the definition of your muscles, you’d put on pure muscle mass, and your stamina plus healing ability enabled you to sprint approximately 20 miles without stopping. It was going well until one day, you were working on the punching bag and were so focused that you lost track of time. It was 7 am when Natasha and Steve returned from their daily run and saw you workout. You hadn’t noticed them due to the music playing out loud. Natasha, however, saw you and immediately ran towards you. You were brought out of your headspace when you saw Natasha grab your arms, unshed tears forming as she stared at your hands. Steve stepped closer and was horrified to find the ground and punching bag covered in blood. Upon closer inspection, he found your hands caked in blood too. You looked at them confused.

“What?” You asked concerned, completely unaware of why they looked white as a sheet.

Natasha and Steve looked at you with wide eyes.

“Why are you covered in blood y/n?” Natasha asked, letting go of your arms now that you’d stopped punching the bag and brought them to her sides.

You looked even more confused.

“I was going to clean it up when I was done?” You said uncertainly.

“Is this… common for you?” Steve asked slowly.

You hesitated for a moment. Natasha seeing your clear discomfort of being caught off guard came up with an idea.

“How about this, y/n cleans up the gym and herself and then the 3 of us can sit together and figure out a.. neater way of you working out?” She suggested.

Before you could say anything, Steve agreed and the two of them walked out. Grumbling you started to clean.

The first thing you noticed was Natasha staring at your hands as you sat down. You leaned towards her and put your hand on her cheek. You didn’t fail to notice the way she almost leaned into your hand.

“I’m completely fine, Nat” You reassured her.

She looked at you with a vulnerability that took your breath away. It was at that moment that Wanda entered the kitchen. She paused as she noticed the two of you, you started to lean back but froze when Nat grabbed your hand and brought it back to her cheek.

“Please” she said, “I need to know you’re okay.. there was so much blood..”

Wanda frowned. Whether she was upset or confused, you weren’t entirely sure. She walked towards the two of you and sat down next to Natasha. Natasha didn’t break eye contact even when Wanda gently rubbed her lower back. You brought your other hand to Natasha’s face and leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead. This seemed to reassure her greatly as her shoulders relaxed.

“I promise you, I’m completely okay” You said softly.

Your eyes darted to Wanda for a second, expecting protectiveness or anger but all you were met with was a warm look of concern that melted your heart.

“I’ll explain everything” you thought loudly. 

Wanda nodded her head, indicating she’d heard you. While you’d given her explicit permission to read your thoughts at any given time, she was still hesitant to do so. The three of you stayed like that for a few more minutes until you heard someone’s footsteps nearing. You could physically see Natasha’s walls coming back up, Wanda too. You sat back in your chair but held Natasha’s hand underneath the table. She gently squeezed in gratitude, her face showing nothing. Steve entered the kitchen and faltered when he saw the three of you sitting in silence looking at him with the exact same expression. Clearing his throat, Steve sat down next to you on the opposite side of Natasha. He looked at you expectantly. If he was confused by why Wanda was here, he didn’t show it. 

“I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about what happened in the training room?” Steve asked gently.

You took a deep breath and began.

“Okay so, shortly after I.. um.. got my power.. I went to the hospital in a different country and immediately began to heal patients with chronic and terminal illnesses. Cancer, ALS, Alzheimers, and so on. Unfortunately that gained the wrong kind of attention. The government had kidnapped me and taken me straight to a remote facility. They um.. tested the limits of my self healing. They’d break bones, cut off limbs, electrocute, and do a bunch of other things.”

You were unable to meet anyones eye-line, your body remembering each and every single thing they’d done. It was another side effect of the power you gained. While most people tended to forget the physical pain their body experienced over time, your body learned and remembered every single feeling it went through. Every cut, tear, burn. You could feel it all the moment you tried to remember it. Your body won’t ever lot you forget. Wanda had heard your thoughts and had to use everything in her power not to start bawling the moment those images came to your mind. Her grip on Natasha’s lower back tightened, she relayed what she’d heard to Natasha in her mind and felt Natasha’s body stiffen as she registered what happened.

You looked up as Natasha’s grip on your hand tightened, only to see the two women barely holding it together. Realising what transpired, you let out a weak smile and continued.

“Once they realised there was no limit to my regenerative capabilities, they attempted to train me for combat. They’d get fighters to take turns beating me into submission for hours on end until I learned to defend myself. I um.. I’m not good at combat.. So they tried to train me for um.. you know what, never mind. Basically they taught me to train past my body’s limits by constantly healing myself. They did it for years on end until it was ingrained into me. So yeah.. That’s why you saw what you saw..” You concluded.

“I’m so sorry, detka” Wanda whispered in your head.

“It’s alright, it’s in the past” you replied

“I can help train you in combat.” Steve said. “You could become a vital part of the attack te-“

Natasha scoffed, bringing his attention to her. He leaned back startled as he saw Natasha glaring at him and Wanda’s furious eyes glowing red. Both of them had the urge to throw him through the nearest window. You merely stared at him in shock. Tears made their way down your face. You withdrew your hand from Natasha’s and stood up.

“I’m sorry I need to go” you muttered, and hurried out of the room.

“Y/n” Wanda called out but it was too late, you were out of earshot. Natasha continued to glare at Steve.

“You ever suggest that again that again and I’ll test just how strong your healing factor is.” Natasha spat, standing up abruptly.

“I just meant-“ Steve tried to defend.

“We don’t care.” Wanda stated firmly. “She just told you what she went through and you thought of weaponising her just like those assholes.”

“Langua-“

“Don’t” Natasha warned.

She walked away before Steve could plead his case. Wanda glared at him one last time before following her out.

“FRIDAY” Natasha called out. “Where is y/n right now?”

“I believe Miss Y/n is one the roof.” FRIDAY stated

Holding hands, Natasha and Wanda made their way to the roof. Natasha reflected back to how she felt when she saw y/n work out and their interaction in the kitchen. She felt a little scared. The red room had trained her to always be in control, regardless of whether it was in bed or any interaction with others. Sure, she pretended to be submissive in front of her targets, but she was just toying with them. Even with Wanda, she was in control. But y/n.. that girl was something else.. For the first time in Natasha’s life, she wanted to give up control. She felt so safe and comfortable giving up control in y/n’s presence. It scared her but also excited her. 

Since the sun had already started to set, the cold had set in. Being Russian and Sokovian, the cold didn’t bother them that much. The were, however, concerned about y/n. She wasn’t from a cold country. Natasha was glad to see that Wanda had brought a blanket without any prompt. When you didn’t acknowledge their presence, they slowly sat down on either side of you. Wanda draped the blanket over the three of you. While she didn’t say it out loud, she secretly enjoyed the feeling of the three of you cuddled together. She knew Natasha definitely felt the same, she just hoped you did too. The girls simultaneously rested their head on your shoulder, both surprised to feel muscle instead of bone. The rigorous workout must be effective.

“I have a request” Natasha started.

You hummed in question.

“From now on, could you please train with either me or Wanda? We won’t train combat, We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with. Just, please don’t push us away.” She said.

Your head turned to her, only to notice the lack of space between your faces. Your eyes flitted down to her gorgeous lips and back. Natasha’s heart stuttered at the action, waiting for your next move. You looked away into the distance and nodded.

“There’s something you should know.” You confessed. “I didn’t tell you the whole truth downstairs.”

When you were met with silence, you continued. 

“After they realised no matter what torture they used, I would refuse to fight and hurt others. They tried to train me to do suicide missions.. I.. they would strap bombs to my chest and blow me up as I walked to targeted spots as training.”

Both of the girls held your hands as tears made their way down your face.

“It hurt so much” you croaked. “The feeling of my body being torn apart and nerves slowly growing.”

Unable to take anymore, you let out a sob. Immediately Wanda enveloped you in a hug, Natasha doing the same until you were sandwiched between them.

“No one is going to test on us” Wanda whispered. “Not anymore.”

You continued to sob into her shoulder as they whispered words of comfort in your ear. Eventually, you found yourself laying down between the two women. The warmth their bodies provided and the exhaustion of your mind caused you to fall into a deep sleep. For some reason it was the best sleep you’d ever had.

The dynamic between the three of you had completely changed after that night. They were definitely your best friends. No matter how much you wished they could be more, but they were together. They didn’t need you in their relationship, you’d just hold them back. You didn’t let that bother you, no matter how guilty you felt at times during movie night when the two insisted you sit besides them. A week later Steve came up to you as you were eating breakfast.

“I’m really sorry y/n. It was incredibly insensitive of me to suggest what I did that night” he said. Natasha was reading on the sofa, but you could see her eyes on Steve, intently listening to what he was saying.

“It was never my intention to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. You absolutely do not have to train combat if you don’t want to. We all value you as a team member just the same.”

You slowly nodded your thanks. While you appreciated his apology, you were more nervous about your first workout session with Wanda and Natasha. They said they both wanted to be there for your first time as a group workout.

You entered the gym and noticed that the two women had already started working out, Wanda doing squats while Natasha was stretching. Your jaw dropped as you witnessed the two working out in their sports bra and tights. Natasha’s toned abs on display as she did the cobra pose. Your eyes shifted to Wanda and your knees felt weak. You saw sweat make its way down her neck and get lost into her cleavage. Feeling like a pervert for staring you cleared your throat and mentally cursed yourself. Both of them paused what they were doing and started walking towards you. Wanda grinned in excitement while Natasha smiled welcomingly.

“Alright y/n. Why don’t you tell us what your workout looks like and we’ll figure out a safer way to get the same results? Maybe Wanda and I can help spot you too.” Natasha asked.

“Oh cool. Okay, so basically, I run for a little bit. Then I do some strength training, followed by some bag work” you replied, already starting to stretch.

“Perfect, we can join you in running, I was planning on doing legs today, maybe we can workout together?” Wanda suggested. You nodded in agreement and the three of you walked to the treadmills.

“What speed are we running at?” Natasha asked off handedly.

Without thinking “We’ll start with 20 kmph and go from there?” You said, increasing the speed and began running. 

Wanda froze. Refusing to back down, she started the treadmill and began running at full speed. 5 minutes later Wanda was panting, slowing the treadmill down and looking at the other two in amazement. She noticed Natasha wasn’t doing to great either. Around 10 minutes later Natasha slowed down, unable to maintain the pace. Natasha’s face burned as she realised you had unintentionally outlasted both her and Wanda. She spared a glance at Wanda and that little shit had the audacity to smirk. Natasha looked to her right to see you and to her amazement, you were in a full out sprint. Natasha’s jaw dropped to see that you had been running at 35kmph all this while. An hour later, neither of them had the energy to continue running and got off the treadmill. Both of them stunned at the fact that you hadn’t changed your pace for a single second in the past hour. Wanda cleared her throat, brining you out of your focus. You slowed down and stopped, hopping off the treadmill and walking towards them. While you were breathing heavily, you looked nowhere near as exhausted as the other two felt. You smiled at them brightly.

“Time for some strength training?” You asked genuinely.

Wanda glared at you as she sat on a bench, gulping some water. You noticed their exhausted state and knelt towards Wanda.

“Can I help” you asked gently.

Tilting her head in confusion, she nodded. You slowly grabbed both hands and closed your eyed. Wanda gasped as she felt a warmth envelope her. Her soreness exhaustion dissipate and energy enter her entire body. When you let go, Wanda stood up and twisted a couple of times. She felt better than ever before. Not a hint of exhaustion throughout her body. Natasha watched in amazement at the change in her girlfriend, even her slight dark circles had disappeared.

“Is this how you feel all the time?” Wanda asked in awe.

You chuckled. “Not exactly” you replied.

Before Wanda could inquire further, you turned to Natasha and asked for permission. She nodded, blushing slightly when you took her hand. Natasha, too, gasped when she felt warmth take over. Her muscles relaxing. Even the ache she’d been feeling in her knee vanished. She almost whined when you stepped back, the warm feeling throughout her body slowly dissipating. You hadn’t realised what happened but Wanda did. Natasha saw Wanda give her a smug smile. 

You were about to walk to the free weight section when Natasha asked if the group could use the squat rack instead. Shrugging, you made your way to them. Unfortunately, your oversized sweatshirt kept on getting stuck to the squat rack. Sighing, you removed your sweatshirt. Leaving you in a full sleeved compression t-shirt and loose sweatpants. Wanda and Natasha completely froze as they saw you.

“Holy shit” Natasha thought.

“I agree” Wanda replied in her mind.

Your bulging muscles were on display, your muscular arms stretching the compression t-shirt. Natasha totally wasn’t staring at your abs and Wanda was definitely not staring at your arms. You paused, smirking when you noticed why the two were silent. You walked towards Natasha, lifted your finger to close her jaw. Her face flushed at the action.

“You’ll let flies in if you keep doing that” You teased with a smirk.

Wanda shamelessly stared at your sculpted back, looking away only when you started walking back to the squat rack.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you drooling, Wands” you stated, starting to workout.

It was Wanda’s turn to blush and Natasha to smirk. The rest of the workout went surprisingly well, neither of them commented on how heavy you were lifting for all of the exercises. At first, Natasha thought you were showing off for them but quickly quelled the thought as that was definitely not the kind of person you were. It was one of the things she lo- liked about you.

Post workout everyone went to their respective rooms and got ready for dinner. The training session ended up taking 4 hours.

As usual, you were a little late. Everyone was already sitting down, ready to eat. Wanda insisted to wait for you, to which they reluctantly agreed. You entered the room and your heart warmed as you saw Natasha and Wanda had saved a seat for you between the two of them. As you were about to sit down, your eyes fell on the robot sitting at the table. You froze when you saw what was on his forehead. A gasp left your lips, bringing everyone’s eyes to you. Wanda stood quickly, walking to you. Alarm bells ringing in her head as she felt shock, anger, and most of all grief rolling off you in waves. Thor, not picking up on your mood merely introduced you.

“The Vision, this is lady y/n. She’s the newest addition to our team. Lady Y/n, this is the vision. A synthezoid creat-“

“Thor shut up for a second” Nat interrupted. “Detka, what’s wrong?” She asked you.

You raised a trembling finger towards Vision.

“Why do you have that fucking stone” You gritted out.

“I am unaware of what you mean” Vision said, confused.

“That stone.” You seethed. “Killed my sister.”

X--X--X--X--X

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!

Taglist: @marvelwomen-simp @nothanksbye07 @jono723 @luadyjcmd @alexawynters

[natsgrave]

PICK UP LINES | natasha romanoff

a/n: this is my first time posting and using tumblr, so i don't really know how this shit work, lol. also, i'm not good with summaries and english is not my first language, forgive me. i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist

Y/N'S POV I was looking at Natasha while she's talking to Bruce seriously, I was wondering if should I do the thing that I saw earlier. A couple exchanging some corny pick up lines. I've been hiding my feelings for her for like a year or two now. Well, what can I say? I'm not really a vocal person and she's very hard to approach.

A cold-hearted ex-assassin spy, how am I supposed to tell her that I'm in love with her? It's hard! She's hard to read and I don't want to ruin what we have now, I don't want her to be uncomfortable and feel weird around me after I confess. Why is it just so impossible?

"Y/LN!!" someone shouted snapping out from my thoughts. I look around and saw Bucky standing at the corner. He made his way towards me and sat down before flashing me a smile.

"What can I do for you, Buck?" I asked.

"Why are you looking at Nat?" He asked with a smirk, and I can feel my face turns red. I'm blushing, oh my god!

"I'm not." I lied as I cleared my throat. He puts his hand on mine and smiled at me genuinely, "It's okay, I'll support you with anything and I'll suggest go get your girl." He said and poke my side making me giggle.

"Bucky stop! It tickles!" I said between laughter but he didn't stop.

While you and Bucky are having your fun, your laughter and giggles caught Natasha's attention. Her heart tightened when she saw you with Bucky, happy. Not that she doesn't want you to be happy, but she want it to be her. She wants to make you happy and give you everything. But she didn't know that you and him are just friends, and to be honest she's the one you're in love with.

"Okay, Bucky! Stop, please, I can't take it anymore!" and finally, he stopped while I start to catch my breathe. I wiped the tear that came out from my eyes because of laughter. Bucky pulled me into a warm embrace and whisper to me, "Go, tell her that you love her before it's too late." He encouraged me before pulling away. I smiled at him and nod. He mess with my hair a little before walking away.

Shortly after Bucky left, I look over where Nat and Bruce are and found Natasha already staring at me. When our eyes met, she turned away quickly and walks out causing me to tilt my head because of confusion. What happened to her? I shrugged my shoulder and start thinking about something to confess my love for her with positive things on my head to boast my confidence.

The night comes, and all of us gathered in the lounge. I was sitting on Bucky's right side while Steve is on the other side of him. Natasha is sitting beside Bruce, talking again about only god knows what. Wanda is with Vision cooking something, while Tony and Clint are just messing around.

I keep stealing glances at Natasha and I'm glad she haven't noticed it yet. But, unlucky me, Bucky notice what I'm doing and nudges my shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing? Talk to her!" He whisper shout.

"You know it's not that easy, right?" I whispered back and he rolled his eyes to me before looking at Natasha. I grab my drink before hearing Bucky cleared his throat making me look at him, confused.

"Hey, Nat." He calls out. Natasha instantly dropped his conversation with Bruce and look at him, "Why?" She asked. I took a sip from my drink while waiting for his response. "Y/N wants to talk to you." He said hiding his smirk while I choke out from my drink. I gave him a look and he just smirked at me, "What the hell, Buck!?" I whispered and slap his arm, not the metal one because I'm not stupid. He just shrugged and lean back to the couch before I turn my gaze over to Natasha and found her eyeing me already causing me to blush and a smirk forms into her lips. SHE DIDN'T EVEN TRIED TO HIDE IT!

"What do you want, Y/N?" She asked with her raspy voice and I swear to god, her voice is enough to kill me. Clearing my throat, I asked and pointed outside, "Can we talk in private, please?" She nods and start to walk outside with me following her behind but before that I look at Bucky and he mouthed a "welcome." I rolled my eyes and give him a finger.

Once we're outside I felt myself getting nervous every passing second and my palm starting to sweat. She turned around and looks at me, "What is it, Y/N?" I took a deep breath and think about what I'm going to do, having second thoughts. Should I really do this? This is going to be so embarrassing and will probably ruin our friendship! 

"Y/N?" She speaks again.

"I just wanted to ask if you're a bank loan?" Natasha's eyebrows furrowed as her eyes looked at me confused, "What?" she asked.

"Because you got my interest." I finished before mentally cursing myself for the stupid and corny pick up line that I spill.

"What are you doing?" She asked hiding her smile.

"I'm trying to be sweet, just give me a sec." I said lifting my pointy finger and think about something else. She kept silent waiting for me to embarrassed myself even more.

"Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future." Once again, myself received a mentally cursed from me. Natasha let out a giggle which she tried to cover with cough. I smiled to myself knowing I'm doing good even though I'm embarrassing myself in front of the that girl I like.

"Your hands look heavy, can I hold it for you?" I blurt out and this time with confidence. She shakes her head and smiles, "Why are you doing this exactly?"

"I, uhm— I like you, Nat. Actually, no, scratch that. I love you, Nat. I don't know when and how but one day, I just woke up and suddenly felt this, I've been in love with you for a year now, and I'm not expecting you to like me back. I just want you to know what I feel because everyday, it's getting hard to hide it anymore. I don't know if you're with Bruce because of how close you two are but please, after this don't ignore me, distance yourself from me or feel weird around me. Even you don't feel the same, I still want to be your friend. It's fine by me." I rumble and catch my breathe. She looks at me searching my eyes if I'm telling the truth.

Once she's satisfied she flashed me a genuine smile and walks closely to me before taking my hand, not breaking the eye contact.

"Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine?" She said and smirked at me.

I feel my face start to heat up, and turning into a crimson red.

"Th-That was nice." I said and nervously chuckled.

"You look so cute when you're nervous, but, I'm serious." She softy said and flashing me another smile. My eyes widen and pointed myself, "You like me too?" I asked with a shocked tone still pointing at myself. She nods and pulled my neck as our lips locked.

Her soft and sweet lips, I grab her waist to pull her closer to me. She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled away, resting our foreheads together.

"I love you too, Y/N." She confessed causing a smile to form into my face and hugs her tight which she gladly returned.

"You don't know how much this meant to me, Nat. I'm so happy." I mumbled, feeling her giggles.

"I am too, I thought you and Bucky are together because you guys are so close."

"I can say the same with you and Bruce." I replied not pulling away from the hug and walks impossibly close to her.

"You can't get any closer, baby." She chuckled.

I cupped her face and pecked her lips, "Why is your pick up lines are so good and sound so descent, while mine sounds so cringe and corny?" I asked teasingly. She poked my nose before cupping my cheeks, "It's actually sweet, I like it and I love you." She smiled. "Let's go back inside, I think they're looking for us already." I said and starts pulling her back inside. Before we can enter, she stops at the door and turned me around before kissing me. When she pulled away, she smiled at me cheekily which received a giggle from me. We walked back hand in hand causing everyone to notice us.

They gaze goes from us going down to our hands. Bucky let out a very loud cheer, screaming "yes" over and over again all the while Wanda gasp, and smiles form into others faces. I look at Natasha and she did the same.

"I love you, Natasha Romanoff."

"I love you too, Y/N Y/LN."

[acewritesfics]

You Couldn't Wait That Long | JAY HALSTEAD

⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY. MORE INFO IN MY PINNED POST.

Request: From Anon.  

Prompt: "Say that again." 

Warnings: Swearing. Established relationship.

Word Count: 924

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP

©️ no one has permission to copy, translate and/or repost my works on here or anywhere else.

"See you when you get back," Voight says over the phone before ending the call. Y/N places her phone back in her pocket as she makes her way back over to Jay. 

"Voight wants us back at the district," she says as they clamber into his RAM truck. She fastens her seatbelt before removing her frozen gloves and holds her hands in front of the heater that is blasting hot air into the vehicle. As she warms up, her shivering and chattering teeth ease off. "How can it be any colder in Chicago? It's already below freezing." 

"I told you we should have called in sick and stayed in bed all day," he recalls from their conversation as they lay in bed for an extra five minutes this morning, savoring each other's warmth. 

"I'm sure Voight would have appreciated being two detectives short," she says, reminding him of why they couldn't. As much she loved the idea of spending the day curled up in bed with Jay, keeping warm in more ways than one, she is aware that Voight and the others would never believe that she and Jay are both sick. 

"I was thinking that after shift, we order some food and crack open that bottle of wine your parents gave us," Jay suggests, smiling and tilting her head towards him. Before starting the drive back to District 21, he gently kisses her with his frosty lips. 

As she watches him driving, she quips, "What are we celebrating?" 

He responds, "Not having to go to work tomorrow and getting to spend the day in bed like we should have done today." 

She smiles, turning her head to stare out the window, "That is something worth celebrating." 

"I was thinking we could also talk about getting married," he says, prompting her head to jerk back to face him.  

"Say that again," Is all she's able to say as she looks at him with wide eyes and a shocked look on her face. This was the first time that marriage was spoken between the two detectives, who had been dating for just over a year. 

Y/N is convinced that Jay is the man she intends to settle down with, marry and have a family too. Jay has always been her person, even before they went on their first date. He wasn't just her work partner and boyfriend. He's her best friend and she couldn't imagine her life without him in it. 

"We should get married," he says being more up front about it as he quickly glances at her before looking back out at the road. 

"Right now?" she asks, unable to form any other words, still in shock. 

"If Voight didn't need us back right away, I would marry you right now," he admits. "But I was thinking, give us a few months to plan an actual wedding and we get married then." 

"You want to get married?" she asks, still processing his words. 

"To you?" he asks rhetorically. "Fuck, yeah." 

"Pull over!" she orders him, her voice coming out a little louder and more commanding than she anticipated. 

"Are you okay?" he asks glancing at her quickly again, this time with a concerned look on worried face. 

"Just pull over," she tells him, her voice much softer this time. 

He indicates and pulls to the side of the road, only having a second to put the truck in park before her lips are attached to his in a passionate kiss. He reaches a hand behind her head, tangling his fingers in her hair, as he kisses back just as passionately. 

Becoming breathless, they break the kiss but remain close, an inch barely between them as they look at each other lovingly. "If not right now, let's get married tomorrow." 

"You don't want to plan a wedding?" he asks, massaging the back of her head, where his hand is still tangled in her hair. 

"We can do that later," she says and bites the inside of her cheek waiting for his response.  

"You really want to do it tomorrow?" he asks, making sure it's what she wants to do. 

"Why wait?" she asks. "We both know this job is unpredictable, who knows what can happen in the next few months. But what I do know is that I want nothing more than to be your partner and your wife." 

"I'll give Will a call and see what he's doing tomorrow," he smiles and kisses her once more. "I love you." 

"I love you too," she replies kissing him back before moving back into her seat. Putting her seatbelt back on as he starts to drive again, she looks at him before asking, "So where's my ring?" 

"In my locker," he tells her, looking sheepish as he bites his bottom lip. 

"At work?" she asks surprised he had brought it with him. 

"At the gym," he teases with a chuckle before adding, "Yeah, at work." 

"Was this your plan all along? Propose to me while at work?"  

"I was going to do it tonight but then I saw you all wrapped up in five jackets, 6 beanies and three pairs of gloves and I just knew I couldn't wait until then," he continues, teasing her about how many layers she's wearing to keep warm on Chicago's coldest day of the year.  

"Maybe we should wait a year to get married," she teases back. 

"You couldn't wait that long," he smiles and takes her hand in his, placing a soft kiss to the back of it. 

TAGGED: LINK TO TAG LIST SIGN-UP ABOVE.

[lostloveletters]

I Left My Heart in San Francisco (John Brady x OC)

Summary: John's heart feels a thousand miles and just as many memories away in Stalag Luft III.

Note: Title comes from the song, of course (you don’t have to listen to it while reading, but I listened to it while writing this). Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Fluff and angst, mostly introspective. Somewhat non-linear narrative, I guess.

“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” John insisted. 

Woody smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“

He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

Woody braided her hair first thing in the morning, after hastily raking her fingers through it, tugging out any knots that formed overnight. By the heat of the afternoon, enough hair would come loose and stick to her sweaty skin that she’d have to redo her handiwork, already knowing to anticipate the black streaks of grease she’d have to scrub out of it at the end of each day.

Sometimes Holly would be around to give her an intricate and sturdy French braid, able to withstand sweat and hard work. But John had never braided hair before he asked to do hers one evening, and then with increasing frequency as time went on, desperately needing something to lose himself in. 

She sat between his legs, still and patient as he ran his fingers through her wavy hair. He parted it in two sections, letting the waterfall of blonde flow down one of her shoulders while he gathered the rest of her hair, silken to the touch compared to the standard blankets and bedsheets they were issued.

A shiver ran down her spine when his fingers gently brushed the nape of her neck.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You’re fine, honey.” Her voice was soft, almost a low purr that echoed in his ears. He couldn’t remember another time when she called him honey. Usually just Johnny, which sounded wrong coming from other people, even jokingly, since it became hers, but he wasn’t sure how to tell her he liked honey too. 

He carefully layered one thick strand of hair over the other until he finished a braid on one side. Looked good, but he knew at a glance he could do better. Woody braided her hair for utility, not just to look pretty, which was a bonus in his opinion, but not her priority.

He puffed on his pipe, shaking his head before setting it aside. “They’re not even. I’m gonna try again.”

“Go ahead, Johnny.”

John stroked her hair, thinking about how he wished they had met under different—better circumstances, where she wasn’t under constant threat of losing him. He used to figure that there was a proper way to get to a woman’s heart, the way god intended, or so he’d been told: meet a nice young lady, ask her father for permission to take her out on a date, get to know each other, bring her home on time. Rinse and repeat while trying not to get too handsy before getting a ring involved.

Then the war happened. 

Then Woody happened, who probably wouldn’t have described herself as a nice young lady in the first place. No father to ask permission to take her out on a date. He wasn’t quite sure they actually saved anything for marriage (besides the having kids part, thankfully). He figured god would be flexible, all things considered.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“There’s a knot,” he mumbled, brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully pulled at strands of hair to free them from each other.

“When I was a kid, if I had a really bad knot I couldn’t get out myself, I’d just cut it with some kitchen scissors. My hair probably looked awful.”

He almost instinctively asked why she didn’t ask her mom to brush it out, but felt the slightest bit of rage burn in his chest when he caught himself and remembered. “I care enough about you to do this right.”

“You’re also pretty good with your hands.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I know so,” she said, “and thank you for always being attentive.”

“Are we still talking about your hair?” 

“Oh, of course.”

He snickered, working on braiding her hair again. “Of course.” 

Neither of them spoke of the future very much, but he knew he wanted one with her. Just wasn’t sure how to go about the discussion without scaring her off, if she’d even be open to settling down. Settling. The word weighed heavy in his mind. While Woody claimed no nostalgia for her native city, a sad fondness laced her voice when she spoke of it, of the excitement and freedom San Francisco had offered her when she needed those things most. Sometimes John wondered if Ithaca would be enough, if he would be enough when all was said and done.

He swallowed roughly. “Take a look and tell me what you think. Be as brutally honest as you need to be. I can take it.”

Woody half-turned to him, an amused smile spreading across her face. Made him feel like he was being let in on a secret the way her smile sometimes did. “You could make my hair look like a bird’s nest and I wouldn’t tell you.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up. He followed, almost nervous as she inspected her appearance in the small mirror sitting nearby. She beamed at her reflection, turning excitedly to him. “Johnny, it’s perfect.”

She stood on her toes to kiss him, deep and real, the kind that made any lingering doubts dissolve. Her lips were soft, as if she put on lip balm before he got there. Everything about her was soft, except for her hands, always rough and calloused, but something would be wrong if he felt a smooth palm cradling his jaw, or gliding across the expanse of his shoulders, down his back to cling to him. But he was clothed. Or he thought he was. Lost himself for a moment before he found the sound of her voice again.

“Before I forget—” She slipped her hand into one of her pockets. “Here, I want you to have this. I don’t really have any other photos of me, but I wrote a little note on the back of it for you,” she said. Her cheeks flushed, eyes flicking away from him for a moment. “Just so, um, you know it’s yours.”

He smiled at being handed the photo, a little shadowy and out of focus, but her nevertheless. To Johnny, all my love and more, your sweetheart, Woody. She had drawn a little heart next to his name, Xs and Os after hers. “You look beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, the tip of his nose brushing against her skin. “I’ll keep it with me.”

And he did. All the way to Stalag Luft III. Looked at the photo and tried to remember the feeling of her hair between his fingers.

He nearly tore Hambone a new one for taking the photo from his hands without asking, not that he would have let him touch it in the first place even if he had. While far from salacious, having other eyes besides his own on Woody’s photo felt almost sacrilegious. After all, he kept it in the same pocket as the St. Christopher card his mother had given him before he left for basic, its laminated corners curled from his incessant toying with it for reassurance. He hardly looked at it since they bailed. Patron saint of travelers. Some good St. Chris did him.

Buck stepped in and got John his photo back before the situation could escalate further. But the cat was out of the bag. As if it even mattered then, anyway. He did take some pride in everyone’s shock at him and Woody managing to keep their relationship under wraps for nearly four months.

He didn’t expect it to come up again, but he wasn’t exactly expecting Bucky to be alive either. In the midst of Bucky's bittersweet reunion with the other members of the 100th who’d been taken prisoner by the Germans, it was mentioned among the updates everyone was clamoring to give him after he relayed what he could muster of how he survived and ended up there.

Hardly relevant, but Bucky fixated on it after John let one small detail slip out.

“You and Woody? How the hell did I not know this?” Bucky asked. 

“No one knew, except for Holly,” he said.

“Holly knew?”

“It wasn’t my idea, but Woody tells her everything. Told her about us the night you two made the bet on that baseball game.”

“That was back in June!" Bucky exclaimed, a strange combination of disbelief and slight betrayal that felt almost out of place compared to everything else going on. "She’s known for four months and didn't tell me?”

“Woody swore her to secrecy or something.”

Bucky shook his head. “You sly dog. Under everyone’s noses…” Clapped him proudly on the shoulder. “Good on you, buddy.”

John smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”

“Don’t expect any details,” Murph mumbled.

“I’m not telling any of you about my sex life.”

“But there was one?” Bucky asked.

He sighed, resisting the urge to glare at his friend, who up until a few hours prior, he wasn’t even sure was still alive. “We didn’t sneak around for four months just to hold hands.” 

Even if that was all they’d done, his relationship with Woody wouldn’t have been any less important to him. Still, it was nice to have actual experiences to pull from, build fantasies that could get him through some of the lonelier nights when he wished he were with her, just about anywhere in the world but Stalag Luft III. The four months that were all theirs became his lifeline.

Four months. Maybe that was long enough for him to ask her to marry him. After writing to his family, that’d be his first order of business. Woody already had his heart, so he’d promise her everything else on top of that he could think of. Let her point anywhere on a map and take her there on a month-long honeymoon. Move all the way out to San Francisco with her. If she said ‘no’ or sent the letter back unopened, at least he could say he tried.

He laid back on his bunk that night, doing his best to ignore the shouting outside. Like the night guards did it on purpose to keep them exhausted. Closed his eyes. Kept her photo pressed against his chest. Tried to remember what her hair felt like between his fingers. Silk compared to the threadbare blankets the Germans gave them for the rapidly approaching winter.

“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” he insisted.

She smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“

He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

[ginnsbaker]

In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships (18/22)

Chapter summary: You navigate your way through your first couple and individual therapy session; Wanda convinces Yelena to see you one last time

Chapter word count: 6.6k | Tags: Therapy, Healing, Comfort | Ship: Wanda x Female Reader

Author's note: Welcome to the beginning of the end. P.S. I removed the warning section because there won't be too much angst for the rest of the story. Question is, will therapy be enough to repair R and her relationship with Wanda?

AO3 | Masterlist 

Next part: Nineteen

--

Eighteen

Describing the situation as complex would barely scratch the surface.

Calliope has navigated her way through a myriad of couples' issues, from infidelity to lack of intimacy, to financial disagreements. Most couples she deals with fall into two categories: married and unmarried. Seldom does she come across a pair seeking couples therapy post-divorce, as most married individuals approach her with the intention of averting such an outcome.

Yet, you and Wanda defy convention.

Before the session began, Calliope handed you some forms to complete. The first one was pretty straightforward, requesting basic details like your name, birthday, address, and contact number. The second one was more challenging. It featured an array of questions, from your hobbies and life aspirations to your deepest fears. You spent nearly an hour wrestling with your responses while Wanda had her individual session in another room with Calliope.

Once Wanda emerged from her session, the evidence of her tears was plain to see on her cheeks. Swiftly, she attempted to erase the telltale tracks as you watched, and you instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulder, asking her if she was okay. Wanda assured you that she was, admitting that sessions like these sometimes stirred up unwanted emotions.

Calliope inquired if Wanda felt up to proceeding with the combined session, and Wanda nodded affirmatively, eager to start your journey together. Seeing Wanda's tear-streaked face made you anxious, but you mustered the courage to nod your agreement, informing Calliope that you were willing to give it a shot. 

The therapist offered a soft smile, asking both of you to wait for ten minutes while she briefly reviewed the answers on the forms you’ve completed.

And that leads to the present moment, with you and Wanda perched at opposite ends of the sofa, while Calliope observes from a neutral point of view.

Calliope begins with a gentle inquiry, “From what I gather, and from what Wanda has told me in our previous sessions, it appears that trust is the core issue bringing both of you here today, correct?”

Wanda affirms with a nod, but when she looks your way, she finds your gaze fixed intently on Calliope. You lift your hand,  prompting a gentle reminder from Calliope.

“There's no need to raise your hand here, Y/N. Feel free to voice your thoughts whenever you wish.” she says.

“Alright,” you say, and then you let your question fly. “How can we ensure this session remains unbiased?” It's a good point, but Wanda can't help but notice your deeper hesitance.

“Can you elaborate, Y/N?”

“You've been acquainted with Wanda for some time now,” you explain, “You've listened to her perspective on...on the issues we've had. How can I be confident that you'll be an impartial mediator in all this?”

“I see where you're coming from,” Calliope responds. “In all of Wanda's sessions, I've never taken sides with her or anyone else involved in her life. You can confirm this with her privately later if you wish. As a professional, I encourage you to question my credentials if at any point you feel your views are not being acknowledged or respected during these sessions.”

You look to Wanda to confirm Calliope’s claims and she offers you a small, reassuring smile. 

“Fair enough,” you manage to say, giving Calliope a nod to proceed. The corner of her mouth lifts subtly, acknowledging your permission.

“Before we start, let me ask,” Calliope says, her eyes flicking between you and Wanda, “Where are you both exactly at? Have you officially entered into a relationship?”

You feel a sudden heat rise to your cheeks, while Wanda shifts uncomfortably beside you. You’re taken aback by the directness of the question and glance at Wanda, hoping she might take the lead in answering.

Wanda clears her throat. “We've been... intimate,” she says, hesitating for a moment. “Uh, we… haven't put a label on whatever this is.”

“But we’re together,” you chime in, meeting Calliope’s gaze while sensing Wanda’s intense eyes on you. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a hint of a smile on Wanda’s face.

Calliope simply nods. “And living arrangements?”

You and Wanda exchange another look. “Well, we both still have our own apartments,” you say. “But we've been spending nights together, alternating between our places.”

Calliope purses her lips and nods again. She doesn’t comment on any of your answers and it sort of leaves you a little off-balance, wondering what she’s thinking.

“Alright,” Calliope claps her hands together and gets straight to the burning topic. “Going back to why we’re all here: trust. In relationships, trust forms the foundation. When it's damaged, it can feel like the ground beneath you has shifted. But with open, honest conversation and consistent efforts, it can be repaired.”

She looks between you and Wanda. “Let's explore this. How do you both perceive the trust issues in your relationship? There are no right or wrong answers here, just your feelings and experiences.”

Wanda looks at you nervously. She knows you’re the one who’s been grappling with the concept, and although it was poised for the both of you, it’s obviously a question for you.

“So, it's my problem, isn't it?” you start off, managing a dry chuckle. “Guess there's no sugarcoating that.”

You glance over at Wanda before continuing. “When Wanda...when she was unfaithful, suddenly, I was doubting everything—our past, our present, and especially our future.”

Calliope interjects gently, “Is that why you went ahead with the divorce proceedings immediately?”

Your gaze snaps to Calliope, taken aback by her knowledge about the swift divorce proceedings, before you quickly remember that Wanda must have divulged this information earlier.

“I was blinded by rage and hurt, and it was the only thing that would put me together at that time. I… I wanted to retaliate. If that makes sense?” you say. Wanda remains silent, her eyes downcast as your words fill the room. 

Calliope observes this and then turns her attention to Wanda. “And how did you react, Wanda, when the divorce proceedings were initiated?” she prompts.

Wanda takes a deep breath, her fingers nervously fiddling with a thread on her sleeve. Her voice is barely above a whisper when she finally responds. “I...I felt lost," she admits, her voice shaky. "I knew I had hurt Y/N terribly, but the reality of divorce...it hit me hard.”

“And so hard that you promptly agreed to it, didn't you?” you retort with a touch of sarcasm that you’re unable to hide. Before this session, you had reached a truce of sorts with Wanda, and your feelings for her had found a serene lull. But dredging up the past in this setting had reignited unpleasant feelings, making it difficult for you to keep the lingering bitterness at bay when it comes to her cheating.

“I tried to reach out to you, begged for you to talk to me. But you had already left, we didn't get a chance to fully discuss everything. You wouldn't even respond to me unless it was about the divorce,” Wanda explains, her voice filled with regret. “I didn't want to make it even tougher for you when it seemed like all you wanted was to get away from me. You only seemed to relax around me a little when I agreed to the divorce.”

You bite your lower lip as you relive those tumultuous weeks. Those were the days when Wanda consistently tried to reach out, and you responded only when you were having a 'good' day. 

A 'good' day was when you managed to get out of your room, shower, and eat an entire cup of oatmeal. The 'bad' days were characterized by either weeping yourself to sleep or drinking so heavily that you blacked out before dinner time.

Up to this day, you have no idea how you survived that. 

“Is that true, Y/N?” Calliope asks.

You nod, acknowledging the truth of it. You were a hard one to handle, and you made sure to drive Wanda to give you what you desired back then.

An uncomfortable silence follows your wordless answer, stretching on until Wanda musters the courage to break it.

“And, I mean, I thought we were... okay. Not perfect, but okay enough that it wasn't as painful, that we weren't crying every single day, that we weren't hurting all the time. But it feels like we're still stuck. I still love you, you still love me, and... we're still in pain,” Wanda's words tumble out, caught in a choke.

Your heart clenches at her words, and you covertly look at Wanda from your peripheral vision. Not for the first time, you wonder if this is really a good idea. If maybe, digging into this would just mean digging both of your own graves in the end.

Calliope remains quiet and gives you both a moment before speaking again. 

“What if we start from there? From the love that still remains?” she suggests gently. “Let's try to rebuild the trust from that foundation. Would that be agreeable to both of you?”

Your gaze shifts towards Wanda and you swallow, clearing the tightness in your throat.

“Like I said before,” you tell Wanda. “I can't guarantee that I won't lash out, or that I'll always be level-headed–”

“I understand, Y/N–”

“–And with that said, I want you to be yourself, Wanda. I don't want you to suppress anything because of me—out of some obligation to spare my feelings.” you say. 

Wanda averts her gaze to the floor, understanding the point you're trying to make. Riddled with guilt, she's been prioritizing your feelings above all else.

“I promise I’ll be honest with my feelings.” Wanda promises. You smile in response and then turn to Calliope.

“Alright, I'm willing to try," you murmur, your voice slightly raspy.

Calliope gives you both an encouraging look, “I recommend we commit to an initial 8 sessions and we’ll begin from next week. I'll provide you with some materials and exercises that might help you to communicate your feelings more effectively in these sessions and with each other. Remember, this is a journey and it's perfectly fine to take small steps. And sometimes we may even have to take a couple of steps back. Are you okay with that?”

You sigh in relief at the mention that the real sessions won’t be happening until next week. You wanted to prepare and internalize things so that you can at least have some control over your emotions. 

“Btw, Y/N, are you open to talk for a couple of minutes? I just want to go over some of your answers in the form.”

“Sure.”

Wanda gives you an apologetic look. “I have to return to the cafe. Will you be okay?” 

“Yeah, I’ll meet you, uhm–I’ll call later, okay?”

With a swift movement, Wanda leans in to give you a peck on the cheek, which you reciprocate somewhat awkwardly. She then bids Calliope goodbye and departs from the room.

Once Wanda leaves, there's a moment of silence as Calliope collects her thoughts. You gulp nervously, attempting to recall what you’ve written in those forms, but surprisingly, your mind draws a blank.

“Y/N, I appreciate your honesty in today's session,” she begins, her voice gentle yet firm. “Now, I just want to go over some of your responses in the questionnaire. There were a few areas where you mentioned feeling constant anxiety and bouts of anger. Do you think this is connected to the issues with Wanda, or has it been something you've been dealing with for longer?”

You hesitate for a moment, thinking back on the past few months. “I'm not sure,” you confess. “Ever since the incident, I guess I've just been in a state of constant confusion and anger. I’m not entirely sure how to describe it.”

“I see, it can be challenging to sort through your thoughts and emotions to identify the precise triggers for these feelings, especially considering you've been grappling with them for a while now. That's perfectly fine. Let's start with something more straightforward. How are you feeling right now?”

“I feel...conflicted,” you say slowly, the words spilling out with a weight you can't ignore. “Before coming here, I thought I was 100% ready to tackle everything, because I'm hopeful for what this therapy can bring us, but the thought of reliving Wanda's betrayal...it scares me. I don't want to harbor resentment, but I can't deny that it's still there, lying dormant. I still can't understand how she could do that to us.”

“Understand or accept?”

You shoot Calliope a puzzled look. That's a new perspective for you. The idea that maybe trying to understand is a lost cause, and the real battle is with accepting it.

“I… I don’t know,” you say. 

“That’s okay, we can tackle it some other time. Anything else?”

Your fingers drum against your knee, a nervous tick you've developed recently. “And then there's Yelena...I feel guilty about my own actions towards her. I know I betrayed her, and that only adds to the guilt of being with Wanda,... of choosing her.”

Your gaze shifts to Calliope as you continue, “Then there's this lingering thought of...timing. Are we rushing into this, trying to mend things so soon? I just... I don’t know.”

Taking in your words with a thoughtful expression, Calliope gently asks, “Given all these doubts and uncertainties you've just mentioned, Y/N, could you tell me why you agreed to attend these couple's counseling sessions with Wanda?”

You smile a little at the question. This is something you can easily answer.

“I’ve spent a year wrestling with my feelings for her, only to cause pain to someone else in the process because I was unable to face the reality that I’m still in love with Wanda. I believe I always will be,” you admit, rubbing at your temples. “I know she hurt me and what she did was terrible. I was angry and... and I still am, to a certain extent. But, underneath all that, I still care about her. I want us to be able to talk about everything, to deal with our issues together.”

“But more than anything,” you continue, staring at your hands, “I'm tired of trying to figure it all out by myself. So when Wanda suggested getting professional help, it felt like a new opportunity for me. A new way to... break out of this maze, this cage.”

Your words linger in the silence while Calliope takes a moment to digest them. Eventually, she nods and says, “Y/N, I think that's a great reason to be here. I’m glad to know you’re here because you want to and not out of some obligation to someone. We'll dig into these issues more in our upcoming sessions. I think we've covered enough for now.”

“How am I doing so far?” you ask.

“You’re doing great,” Calliope assures you with a smile.

The clock ticks loudly in the background as Calliope wraps up the session. As you rise from your seat, a wave of exhaustion washes over you. It's only the first day, and yet you already feel drained.

“I hope it wasn't too overwhelming for you, Y/N,” Calliope says. “I'm aware it's a lot to handle.”

“Overwhelming might be an understatement,” you joke, attempting to lighten the mood.

“The first step is always the hardest. I'll see you next week, okay?”

With that, you walk out of the office, a hint of new hope stirring within you. As you step into the dimming sunlight, you take a deep breath of fresh air. Pulling out your phone, you dial Wanda's number.

This journey's going to be a slog, but maybe, just maybe, it'll all pay off in the end.

***

Sunlight paints a warm tableau over the organized chaos of Yelena's workstation. 

A simple wooden desk houses a practical computer, a pot of pens, and a few scattered notebooks. Personal knick-knacks—a journalist's badge, a group photo, and a tongue-in-cheek “World's Best Journalist” trophy from her colleagues—sit next to her actual recent award, the Sidney plaque. These items add a personal flavor to the otherwise no-nonsense setup.

Yelena leans back, letting her eyes wander over the space she's called her own for the past couple of years. The office buzzes quiet chatter, the quick tapping of keys, and the odd ring of a telephone. It's been like a second home to her. It's where she made sense of complicated narratives and pieced together shards of truth. 

As her fingers trace the edges of the plaque, her mind drifts back to the day it became hers. A faint smile pulls at her lips, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She wishes she could have celebrated that victory with someone who once held a special place in her life, but now only resides in bittersweet memories. 

Busy gathering her belongings and tucking away the sentimental reminders of her time here, Yelena is interrupted by a figure stepping into her cubicle. It's the last person she expected to see on her last day at work.

“Wanda?” Yelena questions, surprise quickly morphing into unease.

“Heard it was your last day,” Wanda says, her gaze unflinching.

“How did you track me down?” 

“I have my ways, too,” Wanda answers with a sheepish smile.

“Sure,” Yelena shoots back, hastily stuffing her files into a box and crossing her arms in a defensive posture. “What brings you here, then?”

Wanda seems to falter for a second, then lets out a sigh. “I wanted to talk about Y/N.”

Yelena's heart tightens at the sound of your name. For weeks, she's tried to bury any memories of you—the good, the bad, the utterly heartbreaking. The absolute last thing she needs right now is a deep-dive into you, especially not with Wanda.

“I don't think that's a good idea,” Yelena pushes back, her voice edged. You were always a mistake. She was just too bull-headed to admit it.

“I know it’s too much of a thing to ask, but I need your help.” she says. “The way you two left things broke her. It's affecting her more than you think, and I thought you would want to know that.”

“Whatever happened between me and Y/N... our breakup, it's none of your business, Wanda. And honestly, after she clearly picked you, I'm surprised you have the nerve to come ask me for help.”

“I didn't come here because I wanted to, Yelena. And I know I’m being selfish, but… she needs help. And as much as it pains me to say it, I can't do it on my own,” Wanda admits, her face open and sincere.

Yelena's torn between her recent heartache and the residual feelings she has for you. The Sidney Award on her desk seems to taunt her, reminding her of what she'd achieved even when her personal life was falling apart. It was a symbol of her resilience and her capacity to move forward, even when life was doing its best to push her back.

“Fine,” she finally relents, leveling her gaze at Wanda. “But let's get one thing straight. This is the last time we're having this discussion. The last time I’m talking to any one of you. After today, I don’t want to see you or her.”

Though a little relieved, Wanda nods sadly. “Understood.”

***

The city lights are a comforting blur as you make your way back to your apartment after a long day. 

You’ve just hung up the phone with Wanda, who told you she'd be working late at the café tonight. They're revamping the menu, and she's eager to experiment with new recipes.

“That's great, Wands,” you’ve told her, the smallest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth despite the fatigue seeping into your bones. “Call me later when you get home, okay? Can't wait to sample those new dishes.”

Upon reaching your apartment and fitting the key into the lock, you notice the door is already unlatched. Warning bells sound off in your head, and you tentatively swing the door open, your senses heightened.

What greets you freezes you in your tracks. Perched on the couch, looking just as startled to see you as you are her, is Yelena. 

Her appearance brings a rush of memories and emotions, making your heart pound in your chest. Of all places, the last spot you anticipated seeing her was in your apartment, particularly given how things ended between you two.

Your last memory of Yelena in your apartment includes her hurriedly collecting her things, desperate to get away from you as fast as she could. You felt like a monster she was fleeing.

Truth be told, you still feel that way.

“Yelena,” you say, your voice barely more than a whisper as you shut the door behind you. You throw your keys onto the counter, not tearing your eyes away from her. You're apprehensive that one wrong move might scare her off before you have a chance to voice all the things you've been longing to tell her.

“Y/N,” Yelena echoes, her voice as tender as it was during those nights she used to comfort you. There's an intensity in her green eyes that you've always found captivating. Now, it just makes you feel more uneasy. She stands, smoothing her jeans, never breaking eye contact with you.

“Why are you here?” you ask, inhaling deeply to steady yourself. Your fingers tighten around the strap of your bag, the material pressing into your skin, grounding you in the moment.

Yelena sighs, running a hand through her blonde hair. “I’m sorry for showing up unannounced. But I… I still have the keys so I just let myself in and waited for you to come home.”

“You still have the keys…” you repeat, your voice fading as you digest her words.

“Yes,” Yelena admits. Her tone is apologetic, but her gaze doesn't waver. “I've been meaning to return them, but I didn't know how to face you.” However, if Yelena were to be truly honest, there were plenty of opportunities for her to return the keys. Maybe she was holding onto them because it was the last string that tied her to you.

Silence engulfs the room as you both just study each other for a moment. You weren't quite sure what you'd expect to see the next time you saw her, but she seems to be doing alright, looking as stunning as she always does.

Finally, you find your voice. “What brings you here now, Yelena?” you ask, not unkindly–there’s only surprise, a potent shock from her sudden presence, a confrontation you're utterly unprepared for.

She draws in a deep breath, bracing herself. “I'm here because... because I spoke to Wanda," she starts, her words instantly triggering a wave of ice-cold shock coursing through your veins. “Well, she came to me.” 

“I kinda see now why it’s so impossible for you to get over her.” she adds, punctuated by a faint laugh, which resonates more like a sorrowful sigh–one of the most desolate sounds you've ever heard.

You see the uncertainty in Yelena's eyes, and it makes your heart ache. 

“I… I didn't send Wanda to you,” you clarify gently. “I wouldn’t–”

“I know, Y/N. I know you didn't,” she cuts you off, her eyes fixated on the wall behind you. “I was shocked when Wanda showed up. I wasn't sure... I'm still not sure if coming here was the right thing to do.”

Then she lifts her gaze, their depths, swirling with sadness, locked onto yours. You feel like you're being swallowed into a pit of despair. “After talking to Wanda, I realized I needed closure, Y/N,” she confesses. “And maybe you do too.”

Your chest tightens at the truth in her words. Yes, you both need closure, but knowing it and doing something about it are two different things, and you're not sure what to say.

The space around you suddenly feels smaller, each sound–your shallow breaths, the tick of the clock, the rustle of your clothes–seems louder in the silence that follows.

“I...I don't even know where to start,” you admit, your voice trembling slightly. “In all those weeks, when I was trying to contact you, I didn't really have a clear thought of what I wanted to say. But what I do know is that I owe you an apology for the rest of my life.”

Yelena’s face softens at that. It’s horrifying to imagine someone apologizing to her for all their days. It’s not what she wants at all. 

Seeking something to anchor you, you head towards the kitchen and retrieve a bottle of wine from the cabinet. As you pour wine into two glasses, you feel the weight of Yelena's gaze on you. It's as if she's trying to read your every thought, every intention.

“I'm sorry, Yelena,” you repeat, your voice steadier now. “I… honestly, I’ve got nothing better to say. I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” 

You extend the wine glass towards Yelena, and she accepts it swiftly, taking a hearty sip. A sense of déjà vu envelops you as you watch her. How many nights had you spent like this in the past? Sharing a drink, talking until the wee hours of the morning, figuring out your thoughts, your emotions. 

Now, they're just… gone.

“I don't need your apology,” she begins evenly, despite the pain that flashes in her eyes. “I know you're sorry. I can see it, I can hear it. But what I need, what I want to understand, is why... why you entered a relationship with me when you were still in love with Wanda. Why you lied straight to my face when you said you didn't love her anymore.”

The question hits home, and you’ve been asking it yourself since you kissed Wanda that night. It's a question that has haunted you through more sleepless nights than you can count.

“I... I was horrible to Wanda,” you sigh, finishing your wine on the second sip. “What I did, how I treated her... I thought that meant I didn't love her anymore. My actions told me I didn't love her. But the truth is, I was just angry. I was hurt, and I acted out in the worst possible way. I was, you could say, in denial.”

Your eyes flicker to Yelena, catching the flash of hurt that crosses her face. You press on, your heart heavy. “It took me some time, but I realized that underneath all the anger and the hurt, my love for Wanda never died. It was there, just... buried. I'm so sorry, Yelena, for dragging you into my mess. You didn't deserve any of it.”

“Did you ever love me?” Yelena asks, a tear slipping from the corner of her eyes. “Because it felt like you did. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but it was there. We were happy… at least I thought we were.”

“I did love you, Yelena. I mean, I still do,” you confess, your voice low but firm. “But perhaps not in the way you deserved, not in the way I loved you before you left for the UK and–and before I met Wanda.” 

Your hands fumble with the empty wine glass. “I was so confused, so hurt. You were there for me, and I... I took advantage of that. And I'm sorry.”

Yelena makes a futile attempt to swipe away another tear that trickles down her cheek. But the tears are relentless, persistently rolling down one after the other, soon overwhelming her attempts to keep them at bay.

“We were happy,” you confirm softly as you look away. “And I will always cherish those moments with you. They’re the only silver lining in the fucking hell I went through the past year. I… I never meant to hurt you, Yelena. I wanted–”

I wanted it to be you, the words almost escape you. And it would’ve been the worst thing you’ll ever say to her. 

“But I wasn't, was it?” Yelena cuts in, as if reading your mind, her voice a choked whisper. She stands abruptly, pushing her chair back. “I was just... I was a placeholder, wasn't I? A distraction from your feelings for Wanda.”

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath out of you. You're silent for a moment, struggling to find words.

“I...I didn't intend for it to be like that, Yelena. I didn't,” you finally manage to say. “I wasn't fair to you and I am so sorry for that.”

Yelena nods, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. She moves to her purse and pulls out a familiar keychain, placing it on the table in front of you. The keys to this apartment you once shared, this home you had together.

“When I came here, I thought it wouldn't hurt as much, but it does,” she says, her voice strained. “I'm sorry it didn't work out, Y/N.”

“Me too,” you respond, your eyes fixed on the keys. You can feel a lump forming in your throat, making it harder to swallow.

Before she steps towards the door, you find your voice once more. “Yelena?” 

She pauses, turning to look at you. 

“Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?” you ask.

She gazes at you for a moment, her green eyes filled with a world of sadness. Then, she simply shrugs and turns to the door. “I don't know, Y/N. I just... I don't know.”

With that, she leaves, the apartment door closing behind her with a soft click that echoes painfully through the room.

***

“Hey, sis,” Pietro's tired face appears on her phone screen. It's been a while since Wanda last spoke to him. They decided to take a break from each other amicably, canceling their plans for the past week and the week before. 

He was upset about Wanda seeing you again, and she had a feeling he was the one who told you about her hospitalization—the one thing she made him promise never to reveal.

“Piet,” Wanda's voice is softer than she intended, the sight of her brother filling her with a mix of relief and apprehension. “It's been a while.”

“Yeah,” Pietro agrees, running a hand through his hair which is surprisingly back to its natural chestnut hue. “Sorry about that, by the way. I was a bit... heated.”

“That's one way to put it,” Wanda replies, her laugh forced and hollow. She studies her brother, his features softened by the faint glow from his screen. Despite their recent falling out, there's a comfort in seeing him again, a balm to a part of her she hadn't even realized was hurting.

Pietro huffs out a breath, scratching at his scruffy chin. “So… How are you doing, Wands?”

“Doing well, actually,” Wanda replies, her voice holding a certain calmness she didn't feel. “Though I think before anything, there’s something I need to ask you.”

A wary look flashes across Pietro's face, but he gives her a nod to proceed.

“Did you send that picture of me in the hospital to Y/N?”

For a moment, Pietro is quiet, the playfulness that usually shines in his eyes replaced by a kind of grave understanding. He sighs heavily before speaking.

“Yes. Look, I'm sorry, Wanda. Maybe it wasn't my place to send it,” Pietro says, the lines on his forehead deepening with unease. “But Y/N needed to understand the consequences of her actions, her effect on you.”

“She didn’t force me to do anything, Piet. I chose to take the pills–”

“But she took advantage of you. She knew how far you would go for her forgiveness. She’s not blameless,” Pietro interrupts, firm in his convictions. “And she needed to face the reality of her actions. It could be for her own good too–have you considered that?”

Processing his words, Wanda remains silent for a beat. When she finally speaks, her voice is laced with resignation. “I suppose you have a point.”

“How did Y/N react?” Pietro asks, his voice careful but insistent, as if treading on fragile ground. He's still not sure if what he did was right, but the fact that his sister hasn’t gone ballistic on him proves to be a good sign.

“She was... horrified, to say the least,” Wanda reveals, a tremble creeping into her voice. "She felt guilty, and she took some responsibility. But we... we also decided that we're not going to let our past control our future."

Pietro raises his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.

“We're giving our relationship another shot. But this time, we're going about it differently,” she explains. “We're attending therapy. Together.”

“Really? And how's that working out?” Pietro questions, his features softening.

“It's...tricky,” Wanda admits, her fingers idly twirling a loose thread on her blanket. “But it's a step forward.”

“I suppose... that's all I can hope for,” he concedes. “But Wanda, you need to make a promise to me.”

“What is it?” she stumbles over her words a bit, her heartbeat quickening.

“You have to promise me that if things don't work out, you won't let it drag you down,” he implores, his eyes betraying his vulnerability. "You've made so much progress, Wanda. And I... I can't stand to see you get hurt again."

“I promise,” she whispers. “I'm not the same person I was before. Whatever happens, it won’t erase the growth I've experienced over these months.”

“Good,” Pietro finally breathes out, visibly relaxing at her assurance.

There's a pause before his eyes regain their usual playful glint. “Alright, sis, we're still on for Christmas in LA, aren't we?”

She chuckles softly, the sound still a bit watery from their talk. 

“Yes, Piet, I am still coming to LA for Christmas,” Wanda confirms, before hesitating a second later. “And, um, I was wondering if… if Y/N could come with me?"

Pietro is silent for a moment, and Wanda finds herself holding her breath. She can practically hear the gears turning in his head.

“You're serious about this, aren't you?” His voice finally cuts through the silence, but it's devoid of any hints towards his own thoughts.

“I am,” Wanda affirms. It was important for her that Pietro understood this, even if he wasn't fully on board. She knew her brother had his reservations, but this was something she needed.

Pietro exhales, a small chuckle slipping out. “Okay, counter-proposal,” he begins, a teasing grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “If you're dragging Y/N to LA, then I get to bring mom.”

At that, Wanda goes still. She had been estranged from their mother for a while now, her relationship with her complicated at best. But she knew how important family was to Pietro, and if she was asking him to accept you into their tight-knit circle, it was only fair that she did the same.

Now that she's making meaningful strides with you, she can start to tackle other parts of her life that have been quietly burdening her for years. Perhaps it's time to revisit those letters her mother has been sending. Maybe even write her back if she’s brave enough.

After a moment, Wanda finally speaks. “Okay,” she whispers, nodding to herself more than him. “Okay, we've got a deal.”

Pietro's laugh is loud and full of relief. “Awesome,” he grins. “It's a Christmas of reconciliation, then.”

With a few more parting words and a promise to see him soon, Wanda ends the call. 

It feels like she’s just crossed one hurdle. The rest, she'd take one step at a time.

***

Dear Mom,

It's been a long time since we last spoke. And, well, a lot has happened.

I've been doing a lot of work on myself lately. I've been seeing a therapist and I've been trying to sort through all these emotions that I've kept locked away for so long. The loss of dad, the hurt when you left Pietro and me... it's been tough, but I'm getting through it. I hope you've found peace wherever you are too.

Pietro and I are planning a quiet little Christmas get-together in LA, and he suggested we invite you. After some thought, I agree.

This letter isn't going to fix all the hurt or mend the broken bridges between us. Some days it feels like our relationship is just a distant memory.

But maybe it’s a start.

I'm ready to try, if you are.

Sincerely,

Wanda

Wanda's eyes lingers over the letter she just finished drafting, a silent war waging within her over whether to send it or not. But before she can talk herself out of it, she briskly folds the paper into neat thirds and slips it into an envelope. She pens her mother's address on the front with a surprising calmness.

Just as she’s sealing the envelope, a sudden knock on the door snaps her out of her reverie.

She rises from her seat, a flicker of surprise crossing her face as she moves to answer the door. Her breath catches as she finds you standing on her doorstep, looking thoroughly disheveled under the soft, dim hallway lighting. Before she can utter a word, you close the distance between you, pulling her into a desperate hug.

“Y/N...” Wanda breathes out, frozen in surprise for a moment. But then, her arms automatically wrap around your form, pulling you closer.

She can feel your body shaking slightly, a sign that something is terribly wrong. Concerned, she pulls away just enough to look at you, cupping your face gently with her hands.

“What happened, Y/N?” she asks, worry etched into her features. “Talk to me.”

With a soft murmur, you say a single name: “Yelena.” Instinctively, Wanda’s hold around you tightens. She hadn’t anticipated that Yelena would approach you so soon after their conversation earlier in the day, considering Yelena's initial reluctance to Wanda's request.

“Can I stay here tonight?” you ask, your voice barely more than a muffled whisper against the fabric of Wanda's shirt, which is slowly growing damp from your unrestrained tears.

“Absolutely,” Wanda replies softly, “Stay as long as you need.”

Wanda gently guides you through the apartment, leading you into the quiet comfort of her bedroom. The familiar softness of the bed and the comforting scent of the sheets, still perfumed with her, feels like the safest place on earth—exactly where you need to be.

Tenderly, she tucks you into the bed, pulling the comforter all the way to your chin. Your heavy-lidded eyes, burdened by the day's challenges, gaze at her while she lovingly brushes away stray strands of hair from your face.

Your response is to merely nuzzle closer to her, comforted by the soft strokes of her hand along your face.

Wanda begins to withdraw, intending to give you space, but she halts, looking down at you. “I... I'm sorry. About Yelena, I–”

“Don't, Wanda.” you interrupt gently, your fingers curling around hers.

She pauses, her eyes searching yours, her mouth opening as though to argue, but your words come before she has a chance. “Thank you,” you express, tears pooling in your eyes.

Your voice softens as you struggle with the next request, your gaze on her becoming almost pleading. “Can you… can you just... stay with me?”

Wanda catches the full weight of your request—it's not just her presence you're seeking, not just for this night. It's a plea she also yearns to make to you, but she understands that it's not the time for that yet.

She simply nods in response, slipping under the covers next to you. Her arm encircles you, drawing you closer into her warm embrace.

And so, you hold onto her throughout the night, never letting go.

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[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Interrogations

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

Word Count: 4780

Warnings: Mentions of torture. But I think that's about it for this one.

Author’s Note: I enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much. I'm starting to feel a little bittersweet about this cause its closely coming to an end and I'm about to feel like a mess once it is. As a reminder, please be sure to follow @xxwritemeastoryxxlibrary and turn on notifications so you never miss a fic!

I do not and will not ever give permission for my fics to be copied and posted on other sites. Don’t do it. Don’t be that person that ruins it for me and everyone else.

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. While likes are appreciated, reblogs are gold. Seriously, if you enjoyed this in the slightest, please reblog ♥

Phantom Masterlist || MCU Masterlist || Taglist

When Ross's men came into view, Bucky felt her pace slow down. He felt the way her fingers twitched within his hand as her eyes scanned the hall in front of him. It was then that he realized it wasn't that she was nervous, it was how she was counting them without being too obvious. 

He knew her mind was in defense mode. Taking in the details to ensure she'd be able to handle herself if the need arises. In an attempt to distract her, he tapped his fingers against her skin to throw off her numbers. 

The moment she felt the randomized tapping, it caused her head to shoot up and look at him. When she saw the knowing look on his face, she simply shrugged her shoulders as if it had been nothing. 

She understood why he had done it. He wanted her to know that she would be okay there. That there wouldn't be a reason she would need those numbers. But a habit such as that one wasn't easily given up.

When they came up to the door, Bucky went to open it. But the moment his hand reached out a guard reached his hand out to stop him. It caused Bucky to raise a brow as he looked over at the man.

“I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes, but I have an order to only allow her in.” His head tilted towards her. 

“Who gave that order?” Bucky asked as a glare formed on his face. 

“Secretary Ross.” He said with a nod. “The other Avengers are already in the viewing room.”

“They tried going in and waiting?” Bucky asked as he looked over at her. 

“Until Secretary Ross ordered them out.” The guard responded. “I was told to redirect anyone else to the viewing room.” 

Her heart sped up at that moment. Bucky wouldn't be there with her. Part of her hoped he'd be able to sit there in the room. She knew he wouldn't have been able to say anything but, his presence would bring her comfort. 

“You'll be okay.” Bucky’s words prevented her from beginning to spiral. “I'll be waiting for you the moment you walk out this door.”

“If you're not, I'll hold it against you.” She shrugged slightly before she gently let go of his hand and the moment the guard opened the door she stepped into the room. 

Ross had been by the back wall of the room speaking with a guard. Their conversation had been hushed that she hadn't picked up on anything. The moment the door closed behind her, his attention left the guard and zeroed in on her. 

“Y/N.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I was almost certain I'd be forcing you in here.” 

A guard in the corner closest to the door motioned for her to take a seat. She eyed it for a moment before she looked back at Ross. She kept her eyes on him the whole time she walked towards the table and took a seat. 

“We both know that's not really my name.” She said the moment she was seated. 

Ross scoffed. “And Phantom is?” 

“No.” She shook her head. She was surprised how calm her voice had come out. There was no venom in her voice in an attempt to defend herself. She simply answered the question. “I wasn't given the name Phantom until my handler at the time saw the local news calling me that. I had been with Hydra for five years at that point.” 

“I think I'd like to stick to Murderer.” He said as he slid a thick file towards her. “Maybe even a terrorist. The last six months you have been the constant headache I've had to deal with. Almost 200 hundred casualties and a handful of people in critical condition after today's stunt.” 

Quick flashes of memories played in her mind. Death by her hands was not always quick. Some were shot in the head in one quick motion while others had been stabbed and cut in not so pleasant ways. Each of them had come at her with full force. Each face had been there. Each way she had taken their life had been there in her mind. 

Her eyes welled up for a moment before she blinked them back just as quickly. She wouldn't let him of all people see her break down. She refused to let him see her fall apart at the memories she was forced to do. 

“You can call me whatever you want.” Her voice was steady. “Doesn't change the fact I was a pawn in someone else's game.” 

“Is it really someone else's if you went back?” He asked. 

“Forced.” She corrected. “There are very few things in my life that I've done willingly.” 

Ross didn't find it to be funny, but he chuckled slightly. “Do tell what it is you've done on your own free will.” 

“Let's start with me not killing Earth's Mightiest Heroes.” She tilted her head to the side. “Trust me, I had several chances to do so. How about every mission that helped save thousands of people in the process. Or the fact I single handedly took out a Hydra base to ensure my freedom.” 

“And how many of those missions were you playing as a double agent?” He asked as he pulled out the chair across from her and sat down. “How many deaths have you caused under Hydra?” 

“How many deaths are you responsible for under the name of protecting the US?” She asked back without missing a beat. “If everything I've learned is accurate. My number isn't as nearly as bad as yours. Your casualty list consists mostly of people in the wrong place at the wrong time. Civilians caught in the crossfire in your desperate need to bring in Dr. Banner. Shall we discuss what happened with Blonsky? What about the missions you requested the Avengers go on that were strictly on Hydra’s agenda without your knowledge. Even you, Mr. Secretary, are not as clean as you may think.”

His eyebrow raised and a small smirk pulled at the corner of her lips. She hadn't been wrong and he knew that. The details that had been put out into the world by Natasha with the fall of SHIELD was proof enough. 

She watched as he steeled himself. She could see the way he was trying to get this back on track to be in his favor. This wasn't about the things he had done. It was about what she had done and what she knew. 

“My history isn't an act of war to other countries.” He started. “Yours on the other hand has proven several times that having you out in the world is dangerous. The intel you've stolen and used for Hydra adds to it. Every government you've stolen from is putting a price on your head.” 

“What if I told you I never stole it?” She asked as she watched him. “Sure, the first time around I hacked into what I needed to complete my missions. But this time, most of it was handed to me without so much as entering a single keystroke to bypass security mainframes.” 

“And how was it that it was so easily handed to you?” He asked. “It's hard to believe that the intel of a majority of classified documents was just handed to you as if it was nothing. And for an elaborate measure to obtain that technology doesn't come easy as you say it is. ” 

“Tell me something, Ross.” She said as she leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. “Do you vet everyone that works with you?” 

His eyes narrowed for a moment. “That's not what we're discussing.” 

“Isn't it?” She asked. “Your questions are based on what information I can provide on how Hydra has provided Intel for my missions. Your office has had several investigations about security data breaches in the last year.” She hadn't missed the way Ross had stiffened in his seat. She could see in his eyes that what she was saying wasn't new information to him. It wasn't public information either. “What's it like upping the household security for the secrets you know? Or the agents you keep on security detail for your daughter because the simple knowledge of what was breached could put her life in danger?” 

“Don't you dare-” Ross began but she cut him off. 

“Or how about the details of the German technology convoy?” Her voice was a little louder than his. “Your informant in Germany sent over the details. It was a way to ensure the US knew what was being moved and if it would be safe in transport. And what do you know, five hours later they were put into my hands with a mission tied into it. If you want someone to blame, you might want to get Internal Affairs involved. I'm just the puppet.” 

A pin drop could be heard after her voice had left the air. Ross's glare was heavy as he kept his attention on her. Her eyes never left him as she didn't back down. If this had been two years ago, a full smirk would have pulled at the corner of her lips as she spoke to him. But this was an interrogation and the circumstances were now different. 

Her words were enough to even leave the ones behind the window with their jaws hanging. The information she had given was enough to give Ross everything he was asking for with her usual flair. 

A proud smile had been on Bucky's face as he watched the interaction. She hadn't changed at all. Her tactics were the same even when she had just been subjected to plenty of things over the last two years. 

“I just remembered why I would never want to be on the opposite side of the table from her.” Sam said with a shake of his head. 

“It's all that training she's had.” Natasha noted. “And she's had more of it than I did.” 

“More lethal too.” Tony noted. It caused them all to look towards him for a moment. “All I'm saying is none of us have been able to render Ross speechless. There's a staredown happening a few feet from us and the people in this room have never done that before.” 

“You know who it is.” Ross said, stopping their conversation. 

“That's a vague assumption.” She said with a slight tilt of her head. “I know a lot of things and who they pertain to. Your secrets, I definitely know. Your informants throughout different agencies, I know them. Met a few of them as well.” She pursed her lips for a moment. “As an Avenger and with Hydra, for that matter. Do I know who is responsible for hacking into it all? Of course.” Her eyes moved from Ross to the window behind him. “Just like I know my handler has a false identity within your ranks and hasn't raised any red flags, even before the fall of SHIELD.”

Bucky and Steve looked at each other for a moment before Steve was moving away from the window. A silent conversation had been had. She wasn't just giving that information as if it was nothing. That wasn't for Ross. It was for them. 

“Your handler.” Ross clarified. “Who is it?” 

“I want immunity.” She looked back towards him. 

Ross scoffed. “This isn't a negotiation. I doubt you'd see daylight after today.” 

“Shame.” She said with a sigh. “I'm sure I can make some friends in some very low places that would just love to hear what I've learned over the years.” 

“Is that a threat?” He asked as he began standing. “I'll have you locked away-” 

“Where?” She asked as she leaned forward. “Your Raft was deemed inhumane and was dismantled. There's not a jail or prison on this Earth you'd be able to put me in. Solitary confinement might be ideal, but all it's gonna take is for one corrupt guard to ask the right question, for the right price. Execution may be your saving grace, but how do you get all of them to agree to let me walk out of here to start the process for it?” Her head nodded towards the window. 

She watched as Ross actually looked over his shoulder at the window. To her and Ross's knowledge, the whole team had been behind that window watching. The same team who were stubborn enough to go against him on several things at several different times. 

“I'm not the enemy here, Ross.” She continued. “Secrets can be kept for the right people. Having me as an ally is a whole lot better than having to look over your shoulder wondering who might come for that specific piece of information. I am also the only one capable of giving the updated insider information.” 

“So far you've only managed to say you have details but you haven't given anything to show you actually do. Its all been speculation.” 

She knew what Ross was doing. He was trying to turn this back in his favor. He wanted the information without giving her anything in return. She could spill it all and he wouldn't give her anything in return. 

“Immunity. And I'll start with the closest threat that can be dealt with immediately.” 

“Closest threat?” Sam asked as he watched Ross stare her down once more. “Is there something else we aren't aware of?” 

“They can be anywhere.” Bucky responded. “They were here. There could be others near by waiting for the next command.” 

Then a thought crossed his mind. One that made him tense at the thought. He did a quick glance of the people in the room. The whole team had been there, minus Steve as he was checking the new lead. And at the back wall by the door, two guards were posted. They were quietly talking among themselves oblivious to the conversations being had by the team. 

When he brought his attention back to the window, he watched the guards in the room. He watched as some of their hands flexed by their sides. He watched as three particular ones had sweat dewing on their forehead while another looked completely bored. 

Bucky realized she wasn't counting how many guards were present in the event that she needed an escape. She was counting how many faces she knew. 

“The terms of your immunity will be based on what information you provide and if it is accurate.” Ross began and Bucky brought his attention to her. 

He watched as she took in his words for a moment before she nodded her head. “Just to be clear, if the first piece of information I give is accurate, I get immunity?” 

She was being smart about it. She needed to hear him say it. He needed to say it in order for her to accept. 

“Yes.” Ross agreed, annoyed.  

She nodded her head and uncrossed her arms as she braced herself. She knew what would come as soon as she said it. 

Bucky looked towards Natasha and Sam. The moment he had their attention his eyes shifted towards the guards at the door. A simple motion that told them to prepare themselves. It earned brow raises from both of them until they heard her speak. 

“Of the ten guards you came with, six of them are Hydra associates.”

The moment the words filled the air. Three of the guards in the interrogation room moved towards her to attack. A way to silence her if she began speaking about Hydra. She shot up from her seat and began defending herself. 

In the same moment, the viewing room door opened, two other guards came in. The goal was to keep the Avengers from getting to Phantom. But the guards were currently outnumbered and out-powered. It wouldn't be long before they were taken down. 

Back in the interrogation room, she had used the chair to her advantage to knock one of them unconscious. The right amount of force with movement and hitting the guard in the right sport worked in her favor. 

As the two other guards advanced, her hands instinctively went down towards her sides, looking for weapons. But her tactical belts had been removed while she had been out. With a quick shake of her head she braced herself for hand to hand combat until she could steal something from one of them. 

She was trained for this. Not just in the recent months but from years of it being embedded into her mind. Never be weaponless. 

It took only one block from the guard on her left before she had something in her hand. And as her elbow came back and hit the guard square in the face on her right, she knew that all it would take would be to get the right amount of spacing and it'd be over. She'd come out of this untouched. 

In one breath, she had a gun in her hand and within the next breath both of the guards had been on the ground. A routine she could do in her sleep if she ever needed to. The echoes from the gunshots in such an enclosed space didn't phase her at all. 

From the moment she had outed the guards to them lying on the ground, the time had passed quickly. But she hadn't so much as broken a sweat by the time she looked back at Ross. He was currently being protected by the one single guard that wasn't Hydra. 

Pulling the magazine out and clearing the chamber, she placed the gun on the table between her and them. It would have been smarter to keep the gun in hand. But she didn't need Ross to think she was a threat.

“I believe that was enough to grant immunity.” 

Bucky’s voice had startled her. While her body didn't flinch or react in a way anyone else had, she had simply tensed up. She hadn't known he had even come into the room, let alone when. And that seemed to throw her off more. 

“You aren't paying attention.” Her handler said as he circled the sparring room. The barely legal adult currently had been held in a headlock. With the right leverage her neck could easily be snapped. 

She'd only been training with Hydra for a few weeks. Her mind had been reduced to nothing but skills. Yet she was currently being scolded like a child for not paying close attention to the door behind her. 

“If this had been a mission, you would have failed.” He said as he gave a nod. The soldier let her go at the command and took a step back. “You are worth every penny spent and I'll make it so you never forget about all the entry ways.”

The memory had pulled her in that she didn't hear Ross accept the terms of immunity. Nor did she hear the way Bucky had commented about making plans to get the information Ross needed. Her brain didn't even register the voice above them stating Captain Rogers was requesting their presence. 

That name everyone had been calling her for years could be heard a moment later. It was used in an attempt to get her back to the present, not wherever her mind currently was.

“I got her.” Bucky said as he came to stand beside her. He didn't know when her mind pulled her back in or what caused her to. 

Just as he had earlier, he gently reached out and grabbed her hand. And just like earlier he gauged on how she reacted to him doing so. Each step he took in an attempt to bring her out of her mind always revolved around if she reacted in any way. 

If she flinched or instinctively pulled herself out of his hold, he would have stopped and tried a different approach. But when she didn't react negatively, he continued. Just like now, the moment he felt her fingers adjust in a bit before relaxing, he knew he could continue. 

“What memory has you pulled in?” He asked curiously even though he knew she wouldn't answer him. 

He could see it in the way her eyes weren't focused on one thing. They flicked from one spot to another, trying to find a place to settle on. At least until they welled up. An ache filled Bucky’s chest as he watched the first tear fall from her eyes. 

“You don't have to stay in there.” He said as he brought his left hand up to gently run his vibranium fingers along her cheek. He hoped that the cold contrast of the metal would help ease her out. “You're safe with me. I've got you and I'm not going to let you go until you want me to.” 

He tried to think about all of the times she had helped him. His nightmares didn't stop after he had come back from Wakanda. He was safe from ever being pulled back in but the memories that were tied to a majority of his life were unescapable. She was the one that helped him out every time. 

His thumb came up and wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheek. A moment later he watched as her free hand came up and rested on top of his. When his eyes met hers, the vacant look was gone. Her eyes were focused on him. 

“There she is.” He said, giving her a smile. 

“How long was it this time?” She asked softly as she leaned into the vibranium. The cool metal felt comfortable to her. It grounded her in a way she never realized she needed until now. 

“No longer than earlier.” He nodded. “Ross granted your immunity, right before Steve had FRIDAY call us up. Agents even came in and took the bodies.” 

Her head instantly turned to where the bodies had been before she got pulled into her head. The floor had been empty of bodies, but the pools of blood that had gathered had yet to be clean. 

Her bullet. 

But it hadn't been. Not this time. She was trying to prove a point and she did just that. Those bullets were meant for her. She was supposed to be the one on the ground without a heartbeat. 

“How long before Ross wants everything I can provide?” She asked, bringing her attention back to him. 

“We've got enough breathing room, for now.” He sighed as he took a step back from her. “Might be a good thing given that Steve has found something.” He nodded his head towards the exit. 

“Right.” 

It didn't take them long to get up to the conference room. The Avengers had been in there discussing several things from the day. Ross stood in the corner with the remaining trusted guards. From the looks of it, he was simply listening as he occasionally glared at the guards with them. As if gauging if they were really safe from Hydra’s influence.

The moment they stepped into the room, the conversations hadn't stopped. Nor did they make her feel like she was someone who left years ago. It was like she never left or missed a beat. It felt comforting in comparison to what could have possibly happened. 

When they reached the conference table, Wanda instantly pulled her into a hug. The tight embrace had been welcoming in ways she'd never be able to express. And it almost brought tears to both of their eyes. 

Wanda had been her closest friend. She hated how hard it had been to leave that night without so much as saying goodbye to her. Deep down that was why she opened her mind up to Wanda a lot more than she normally would. It was a way to say goodbye without having Wanda try to stop her. 

“Welcome back.” Wanda said, still holding onto her. 

She could only give a smile in response as she pulled away slightly to look at Wanda. Was she really back? Would they just take her in with open arms this time around? They may have decided on things that she wasn't around for.

Steve cleared his throat, getting their attention. “I believe I found what you spoke about. I didn't want to let the others see it until you did.” 

She raised her eyebrow for a moment. “If you know, then why not go for it?” 

“Because being one hundred percent sure is better than going off an assumption.” He nodded his head before he handed her the Stark pad. “I had narrowed it down to a handful. But given the new information there's only two of them that are currently flagged.” 

That was when the conversations around her stopped. That was when the attention was on her. It was the information that she could provide that sparked their curiosity. 

Taking a hold of the device, she looked at the files on screen. Between the two faces, her eyes had instantly gone to the one on the left. The memories were quick, each of them quick and simple. Your next mission…

And when the mission was complete, his smirk would grow before he clapped his hands together. 

“I told my brother he should have invested in you instead of letting the others take control over you. Leaving you under cover like that was a mistake. Getting you back like this, it's been the cherry on top.” 

Bucky hadn't missed the way her grip tightened on the device in her hands. It made him reach out for it and tug at it for her hands to let go of it. He handed it to Steve before he turned back to look at her. 

“The one on the left.” She said after a few deep breaths. “The younger Strucker brother.” 

“Excuse me,” Tony said almost in disbelief. “Strucker? As in the Strucker that had Loki's scepter? The one Ultron killed to send a message?” 

She nodded her head. “Between the two of them, they had a system going. One of them had a heavy hand in things and the other kept a low profile. Changed his name and climbed the ranks as if it was something he had been working for his whole life. He kept all ties severed and you'd never suspect him for anything. With the fall of SHIELD I was handed off to another cell when an experimental cell refused to take charge. I remember being told that an opportunity had been missed with that cell. An asset such as myself would have benefited from the experiments. Instead I was set up for a different mission that would eventually lead to me helping to raid that cell.” 

She tried as best as she could to keep memories from wanting to suck her back into her mind. Flashes and echoes played in her mind but she had been able to keep her focus. And as long as she didn't sit with one memory for too long, she'd be fine. 

“I didn't meet this Strucker until after I had been reprogrammed.” She tried not to look at any of them in the face. She didn't want to see the looks in their eyes as she talked about it. “He had a right hand that would act as my handler when Strucker couldn't be present for mission assignments and debriefs. I never learned his name but I knew his face because he was the first and last face I saw each time I woke up and before I was tossed in a cell. And when the programming was set, he was there. It wasn't long after that I was in D.C. meeting Strucker. 

“He was boastful when I returned from a mission. Never missed an opportunity to mention how his brother had been wrong in refusing me. That if anything were to show his success, it was me and the weapon that we were creating. It'd be his chance to show how much Hydra had truly grown since the fall of SHIELD. To prove that hiding in the shadow until the right time would be worth it.” 

“What was he planning on building?” It was Ross's voice that filled the air. 

“He took the data information his brother had collected along with blood samples from test subjects.” She began as she looked towards Ross. “He also found a way to miniaturize Project Insight. Put the two together and-” 

“You get a weapon that can turn specific people into enhanced weapons.” Steve finished for her.

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So. Any chance of a Dropped Call 3??

Dropped Call, Chapter 3

Rated X / 4743 words / posted on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

She thinks of it like a little toggle in her brain, like a switch. Or maybe more like a curtain that she can open and close at will. It’s something she developed as a teen, when her desire to remain pure of mind and body was in direct conflict with her desire to imagine what it might be like if Tommy Warner felt her up under her school uniform. Saturday night she’d stay up late discreetly discovering the hidden pleasure points between her legs, and then on Sunday morning she would simply flip the switch and go to Mass, her indiscretion so completely obscured behind her mental curtain that she felt no connection to Father Malone’s sermon on sins of the flesh. 

Over the years, she’s found many uses for this mental trick. In school, in jobs, in relationships, she avoids being overwhelmed by her own emotions by simply setting them aside, behind the curtain, and pretending as though they don’t exist. It doesn’t always work, but she’s found that the more intense the emotion is or the higher the stakes are, the more effectively she can ignore it, at least until she’s alone. In a psychology course at UMD she learned that the term for this strategy is compartmentalization, and that when done to excess it can become maladaptive. Rather than examine whether her own compartmentalization was doing her more harm than good, she stuck that behind the curtain, too. 

This whole bizarre situation with Mulder is taking up an increasingly large amount of space behind the curtain. So much space that she worries it could become uncontainable, that it could all burst through some Tuesday afternoon and ruin everything. She’s had to pull back on their friendship out of fear that the dam won’t hold, and the dichotomy of it all makes her feel like a stranger in her own life. She powers through each workday, counting down the hours until she can go home and stop using all her mental energy to hold the curtain closed. When she walks through her apartment door it hits her like a sneaker wave, and she spends the rest of the evening reading trashy romance novels, masturbating, or deep cleaning something just to keep herself distracted. 

The worst part of it is that it’s just so stupid. She knows that they both want the same thing, knows it with absolute certainty, and yet she’s too cowardly to let it happen. She can cross all kinds of boundaries with a phone line between them, but the second his physical form is proximal to hers, the curtain swings shut and her walls go up, and she truly doesn’t know how to stop it from happening. As it turns out, defense mechanisms aren’t entirely voluntary. 

It’s Friday, a week or so since their last sordid phone call, and Mulder is wearing his charcoal suit. He’s being excessively charming and she can’t stop smiling at him, despite her very best efforts not to. Not that she doesn’t want to smile and laugh with him, she very much does, but when he meets her eye and smiles at her like that, and she feels herself smiling back, the curtain strains against the weight of everything behind it and she begins to panic. 

“What are you up to this weekend?” he asks when she starts to pack up her things a few minutes before five. 

“Not much,” she says, not looking at him. “Grocery shopping. Maybe Mass with my mother.”

“Would it be okay if I gave you a call?”

She freezes. Mulder calls her all the time, near daily, and he’s never asked for permission to do so. The curtain bulges, threatening to split open, and she clears her throat. 

“Sure, that’s fine,” she says, her eyes still downcast. 

“Tonight?” His voice is so hopeful, and it makes her feel like shit. 

“Okay.”

She puts on her coat and slings her bag over her shoulder. Before leaving, she forces herself to look at him. 

“Have a good weekend,” she says with a polite little smile. 

Mulder’s eyes narrow in that way that means he’s psychoanalyzing her, his head tilted increments to the side. 

“Likewise,” he says, his tone unreadable. 

She escapes into the hallway, holding the curtain closed with both hands. 

Once inside her apartment, the weight of anticipation sits heavy in her pelvis and her ears tingle with the effort of listening for the phone. She changes into comfortable clothes and conveniently forgoes panties, barely registering the fact that she’s doing so to give herself easy access. 

He could call at any time. It could be in five minutes, or five hours. When 8:00 pm comes and goes she entertains the idea of just calling him instead, but she doesn’t have any room for that behind the curtain so she decides to wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 

He finally calls at 8:57. 

“Hello?”

“Hey,” he says brightly. “Long time no talk.”

Is he being facetious since they just saw each other a few hours ago, or is he referring to the last time she played the role of Electra?

“It’s good to hear your voice,” she says, then makes a face at herself. Electra is supposed to be sexy, not sweet. 

“Ditto. What are you up to?”

She’s standing in the middle of her living room, piqued and nervous, but that’s probably not what he’s hoping to hear. 

“I’m…talking to you,” she says. “What are you doing?”

“Well,” he says with a sigh, “I have a bit of a conundrum.”

“Oh?” Scully paces slowly around her couch and coffee table. Where is he going to take this?

“I was hoping you could help me out,” he says. 

“Okay. What’s the conundrum?”

“Well, it’s about my partner,” he says. 

Scully sinks slowly down onto the couch. 

“Okay.”

She hears Mulder swallow thickly. 

“So I think,” he begins, “that she might be interested. That she might…share my feelings.”

Scully’s heart leaps and begins to pound against her ears. 

“That’s…that’s good news, right?” she says, reminding herself that she is Electra right now. 

“It is, absolutely. Phenomenal news,” he says emphatically. 

“So what’s the conundrum?”

“I think she’s too afraid to take the next step. I know she is, actually,” he says. She can hear the way the sunflower seeds in his mouth change the shape of his words, and she imagines him spending the hours leading up to this phone call munching on them and thinking about how to have this conversation. “And I think maybe she needs me to be the one to do that. But if I’m wrong, I run the risk of fucking things up between us.”

“That sounds difficult,” she says, her head spinning. 

“So what should I do?” he asks. 

Electra wants to answer the question, but Scully is frantically shoving things back behind the curtain, tugging at the edges in an attempt to keep it all hidden. 

“I think you’re right,” she blurts out, closing her eyes. “I think she does need you to be the one.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

“But should I wait?” he asks. “Maybe she’s not ready.”

“I imagine she’s as ready now as she’ll ever be,” she says, eyes still closed. The curtain is tearing right down the middle, the contents spilling out, and her stomach lurches. 

“Okay,” he says. “Thank you. I appreciate your help.”

Scully sits up, opening her eyes. Was that it?

“No problem.”

“Hey, can I call you right back?” Mulder says, his tone much lighter. 

“Sure, okay.”

Her heart pounds painfully hard in the roughly thirty seconds that she waits for him to call back. Maybe he’s going to call Scully this time. Maybe he’s going to put it all out in the open and force her hand. Even though it’s what she just told him he should do, she’s so terrified that she considers not answering. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, me again, sorry about that,” he says. 

So…she’s still Electra?

“It’s fine,” she says, then waits for him to speak. 

“I was hoping we could try something different,” he says. “Bit of a role reversal.”

“Um, okay,” she says, curious but worried. “What did you have in mind?

“I’ve told you about my fantasies.” A pause. “I’d like to hear about yours.” Her entire nervous system short circuits, and she briefly loses touch with reality. “Electra?”

“Yeah,” she sputters, shifting around on the couch uncomfortably. “I’m here. Is that…allowed?”

Mulder laughs nervously.  

“The arrangement is that I pay you to talk to me. There aren’t really rules beyond that.”

“Oh.” Her mind is going a million miles an hour trying to figure out how to sidestep this. “That’s, um…that’s quite private, though.”

“True. But I’d argue that you’ve been given unfettered access to my private thoughts, so it’s an equal exchange,” he reasons. 

She can tell that he won’t push much further. He knows her too well to do that. But he does have a point, and she still harbors some guilt for not stopping him when he shared his fantasy with her in that first phone call. 

“Yeah, that’s true,” she says. “What do you want to know?”

She senses his excitement, and she’s so conflicted between feeling excited herself and feeling terrified. There will be no coming back from this. The curtain is practically in tatters. 

“I would be ecstatic to hear literally anything you’re willing to share,” he says carefully, tempering his eagerness. 

Scully leafs through her mental file of fantasies, the ones she’s prone to revisit. Her cheeks get hot as she considers the idea of sharing any of them with Mulder, in no small part because he stars in every single one of them. But right now he’s talking to Electra, and Electra would be fantasizing about someone else. She finds an intact corner of the curtain and draws it up, separating herself from the situation. 

“We’re in my kitchen,” she says, jumping right into it. “We’ve just had dinner or something and we’re cleaning up. He’s helping me with the dishes.”

“Who is he?” Mulder interrupts. 

“He’s…a friend.”

“A close friend?”

“Yes. A best friend.” She can’t leave him to wonder if she’s talking about him. That feels too cruel. “A coworker,” she adds. 

“What does he look like?”

Scully lays back on the couch, propping her head on the armrest. She pictures Mulder earlier that day at work in his charcoal suit, smiling at her over his desk. 

“Tall. Dark features. Handsome.”

“You think so?”

She smiles and allows this brief break in their role play. 

“I do. Very much.”

“So you’re in the kitchen,” he prompts her.

“We’re in the kitchen and we’re kind of joking around, laughing. He’s teasing me, but not in an unkind way. And there’s a moment where he’s looking at me and smiling, and something passes between us. Moments like that happen all the time, but I always look away.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m afraid,” she admits. 

“Of what?”

She takes a moment to consider the question. As conflicted as she is when it comes to her relationship with Mulder, she’s never allowed herself to think too deeply about what exactly she’s conflicted about. 

“Of being hurt, I guess. Of being vulnerable.”

“You think he’d hurt you?” he asks, maybe a bit wounded. 

“Not intentionally,” she says. “But I think it could easily happen.”

She senses that he’d like to explore this line of thought, but that would completely derail the fantasy. She hears a beeping sound and then a soft thud. Maybe the microwave. Leave it to Mulder to get hungry at a time like this. 

“I’m sure he’d do everything possible to avoid that,” he says somberly. “So do you look away?”

“No,” she says, jumping back to the kitchen in her mind. “I don’t look away this time, and it becomes…intense. He steps closer and I realize he’s going to kiss me.”

“And you want him to?”

“Yes, very much. He kisses me and it’s sweet at first, but quickly becomes more…intense. Sorry, I can’t think of a different word to use.”

“Intense is a good word,” he says, encouraging her. 

His connection is a bit muffled, like the phone isn’t quite lined up correctly to his mouth. She wonders if he’s in bed, and what he’s doing.

“He picks me up and puts me on the counter, which makes things much easier because he’s quite a bit taller than me. And we just kiss for a while. I guess…I guess more accurately it would be making out.”

“Do you think he’s a good kisser?”

“Yes,” she answers immediately. 

“You’ve given this thought?”

“Yes,” she says again. 

“And then what?”

Scully swallows. This is where things go from PG-13 to explicit. 

“And then he pulls me down off the counter so I’m standing on the floor, and he turns me around.” Mulder is silent on the other end of the line. All she hears is a mechanical hum. “And he, um, he pulls my pants and underwear down. And then he sort of pushes me forward so I’m leaning over the counter.”

Her heart simply cannot take this. It’s been in overdrive so long she’s starting to sweat, and she’s lying completely still on the couch. 

“What does he do?” Mulder finally asks. 

“I think he’s going to…to take me from behind, but he doesn’t,” she says, her voice shaking. “He kneels on the floor behind me.”

“Tell me.” His voice is commanding, not pleading, and it’s effective. 

“He, um, he eats me out from behind. He makes me orgasm that way,” she says. 

She hears the rush of Mulder’s sharp inhale through the phone. 

“Is that where it ends?” he asks. 

She barely registers another set of beeps and another soft thud.

“No,” she continues. “After that he does take me from behind.”

“He fucks you?”

The sharpness of the word, from Mulder’s mouth, in reference to herself, makes her clit jump. Scully slides her free hand under the waist of her pants and swirls her middle finger around it languidly. 

“Yes,” she breathes. “He fucks me.”

“Do you come again?”

“Yes.”

“What about him?”

“He comes inside me.”

“You want him to?”

“I do.”

“Are you touching yourself?” he asks, his voice a near whisper.

“Yes,” she whispers back. 

“Open the door,” he says. 

“What?”

“Open the door.”

Her confusion gives way to horror as she recognizes the soft murmur of his voice in the hallway. She’s frozen in place, her hand down her pants and her widened eyes on her front door. 

“Mulder, what are you doing?” she hisses, pulling her hand out of her pants as she slips down to the floor and attempts to hide behind the couch. 

“Please let me in,” he implores, and she hears his voice in stereo. 

“I can’t,” she whimpers. 

It feels true. She feels physically incapable of walking to the door and allowing him to look at her after what she just told him. 

“Then I’m going to let myself in,” he says. 

He waits a beat to see if she’ll object, but she says nothing. She hears the scrape of his key in the lock and then the pop of the deadbolt. The door opens and she slowly stands up from behind the couch, the phone still pressed to her ear. 

He’s standing in her entryway, his cell phone in one hand and his keys in the other, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. He catches her eye and holds it for a beat, and she pulls the phone away from her ear, breaking eye contact to end the call. And then she just stands there, shell-shocked, staring at the phone in her hands. 

She hears him slip off his shoes and pad across the room towards her. There’s nowhere for her to hide, physically or emotionally. The curtain is toast, and her fingers are coated in her own arousal, and Mulder is in her living room with full knowledge of what she wishes he would do to her. This is either the best or the worst moment of her adult life. She’s afraid to find out which. 

He takes the phone from her and sets it on the coffee table. Next she feels his hands on her jaw, forcing her to look up at him. She complies reluctantly, and a few seconds tick by as the familiar intensity builds. She sees in his face how much he wants this, wants her, and it reaches that point she can’t bear where she always looks away. Just when she can’t take it any longer, when she’s about to avert her eyes to the fireplace, he kisses her. 

At first it’s sweet. He presses his soft lips against hers again and again, a series of firm but chaste kisses that begin to devolve when she opens her mouth and he runs his tongue across the inside of her upper lip. He’s bent down and she’s on the tips of her toes, and it feels like she just can’t get close enough. 

She squeals with surprise when her feet fly out from beneath her and Mulder tosses her down on the couch, quickly covering her body with his own. Their height difference compensated for, he kisses her deeply and intensely, and he is every bit as skilled at kissing as she imagined him to be. His hips are tucked between her open legs, and the more they kiss the smaller the gap between their bodies grows until she feels the hard ridge of his erection press against her clit. She whimpers into his open mouth, and he pulls back a little to look at her. 

“Do you want this?” he asks breathlessly, and she nods. “You’ll tell me if you want me to stop?” She nods again. 

He shifts his body to the side to free up one of his hands, then resumes kissing her. His hand drifts up under her shirt, and she feels like she could come just from the knowledge that he’s going to touch her, that this is happening. He kneads her breast, gently pinches her nipple, all the while grinding against her hip. It feels so deliciously forbidden, like they’re two teenagers necking in a basement, until his hand slides down her belly and under the waist of her pants. 

He pauses, giving her time to adjust or object. She just keeps kissing him as his fingers comb through her pubic hair and then trace the seam of one leg, and then the other. She remembers his fantasy, and she shifts one of her legs to the side to let him know she’s ready. That she wants it. 

“Jesus christ,” he mumbles against her mouth when his fingers slide down her slick lips. 

His touch, his words, his presence, have her on the edge already. 

“Mulder,” she breathes out. “I—”

He pushes a finger inside her and she gasps as her cunt squeezes it tightly. 

“Oh, Scully,” he says, grinding against her with his face tucked into the crook of her neck. “You need this.”

She can’t stop it. She’s coming with hardly any warning, with hardly any effort on his part, and with such intensity that she stops breathing. Mulder whispers things to her that she will recall later and blush, gently fucking her with his fingers all the while. It is absolute euphoria, and she’s so high on dopamine that she can’t bother feeling embarrassed for being so easy. 

Mulder slips his hand out of her pants and she turns her body so that they are face to face, somehow both wedged onto her tiny couch. She runs her fingers through his hair and then cradles his jaw, and he watches her face with awe. 

“That was unexpected,” she says quietly, and a grin breaks out over his face. “Thanks for coming over,” she adds, averting her eyes to his mouth. 

His smile suddenly falls. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, and she lifts her eyes back to his. 

“I know,” she says, and then she kisses him. 

The kissing goes on for a delightfully long while, and she finds that she very much enjoys the way that Mulder kisses. At the realization that she has the long awaited opportunity to get her hands on the everpresent bulge in his pants, she runs her palm firmly over the front of his jeans, and he groans. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he says, extremely unconvincingly. 

“What if I want to?” she asks. 

She feels him lurch under her palm. 

“Then I’d say we probably need to take this party to the bedroom,” he says tightly. 

They scramble off the couch, and he walks her backwards into her bedroom as he works her shirt off over her head. He removes his shirt as well, and they stand at the foot of her bed, his fingers tucked under the waist of her pants. A lamp in the living room is still on, but the bedroom is dark, giving them enough light to see without feeling exposed. 

“I can’t help but notice that you’re not wearing panties,” he says, and she feels herself blushing. 

“They just get in the way,” she admits shyly, and he makes a little sound that’s somewhere between a whine and a moan. 

“Can I take these off?” he asks, and she nods. 

She feels his eyes on her, but he’s very respectful. He doesn’t stand back to gawk at her or say anything lewd, he just kisses her face, the tops of her shoulders, anything he can reach without sitting down. Before he does so for the sake of getting his mouth on her breasts, she pops the button on his fly and he sucks in a breath. 

“Easy, loaded weapon,” he quips. 

“I’d be a hypocrite to judge you,” she points out. 

“That’s, uh, not quite the same,” he says as she lowers his fly and slips her fingers under his boxers at his hips. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

She pushes his jeans and boxers halfway down his thighs and then wraps her hand around his cock. Her eyebrows shoot up, and that’s before she runs her palm over the length of him. 

“You know that I hate to inflate your ego,” she says, sliding her hand down to cup his balls, “but color me impressed.”

He chuckles and it dissolves into a groan. He sits heavily on the end of the bed, tugging her down with him, and she climbs into his lap. His cock brushes against her clit and she sucks in a shuddering breath. 

“What do you want?” he asks, steadying her with his hands on her naked hips while he works his feet the rest of the way out of his jeans. 

“...I don’t know,” she says, which is a lie. 

“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?” he asks, reading her mind as always. 

She reaches between them and takes hold of his cock. 

“I want this,” she whispers, feeling like she might burst into flames. 

They start kissing again and she’s still stroking him, brushing him over her clit. She pushes up onto her knees a little and drags the head down over her lips and across her opening. She’s obscenely wet and Mulder is making all kinds of greedy, hungry noises: groaning and humming, grabbing at her ass and sucking on her breasts. He’s right there, and they both want this, and when she presses the head of him against her cunt and he starts to sink in, the energy in the room shifts. 

“Oh, shhhhhhhhhhit,” he groans, his breathing suddenly ragged. 

She feels proud, and sexy, and powerful as he stretches her open inch by inch. It hurts a little, but not near enough for her to even consider stopping. They’re both panting like they’ve exerted themselves and they’re only just getting started. 

She lifts her hips again and sinks back down before she’s even managed to take him in all the way; she just can’t wait any longer. He has one hand on her hip, the other braced against the mattress behind him to keep them from toppling over, and his hips are eagerly flexing up to meet her. Each time she lowers herself back down she takes in a bit more of his length, until they are pressed tightly together and she feels the poke of his pubic hair against her swollen lips. 

She stills and immediately he’s kissing her, sucking at her lips and humming noisily. She loves the sounds he’s making and how eager he is, how openly enthusiastic. God, she wants to make him come. Wants to feel him throbbing inside her, running out of her. 

She starts to shift her hips forward and back, slipping him tightly in and out and running his shaft across her clit on each downstroke. 

“Fuck,” he says under his breath. “You feel…incredible.”

His compliment goes straight to her cunt and she flutters around him, making him moan. 

“I’m gonna come,” she whispers shyly against his mouth. 

“Shit, you’re gonna make me come,” he says harshly, like this is bad news. 

But the idea of him coming inside her is enough to send her over the edge. She digs her fingernails into the back of his neck and presses her forehead against his as she clamps down on him, her mouth open and her eyes squeezed shut. 

“Oh my god,” she wails as a tsunami of pleasure crashes over her, sweeping her out to sea. 

Mulder lets loose a stream of obscenities and she feels a hot rush deep in her belly. She rides him roughly as it just keeps coming and coming, and he falls backwards onto the bed, taking her down with him. He keeps thrusting up into her from below, and the wet slosh of both of them is almost embarrassing, had she the faculties for embarrassment. He finally becomes too soft to continue thrusting and there is a second hot rush when he slips out of her. 

She collapses against him, her cheek pressed to his sweat-damp chest, and waits for the inevitable surge of shame and regret, even though she knows it’s not shameful and she certainly doesn’t regret it. Without warning, Mulder wraps his arms around her and rolls her to the side, which does nothing to contain the mess between her legs. He hovers over her, searching her face, knowing her well enough to predict that she’ll struggle in the immediate aftermath. 

“You okay?” he asks, trailing the back of his knuckle across her cheek. 

She gives him a weak smile and nods, though tears are pooling in her eyes. She’s not even sure why. 

“Please don’t take my demeanor as an indication of anything,” she says, touching his waist. “It’s not about you, I just…this is difficult for me.”

“I know,” he says. “Take as much time as you need.”

She nods, waiting for the tightness in her throat to subside before she tries to speak again. 

“I’m sure Electa doesn’t require this much emotional maintenance,” she jokes, swiping a finger under her eye to clear a way a tear before it has a chance to fall. 

Mulder smiles at her and sighs. 

“I haven’t called her in weeks, just so you know,” he says. “And I don’t plan to.”

“You can call whoever you want, Mulder, I have no right to an opinion on it,” she says quickly, panicking at the idea that he feels beholden to her. 

He rests his head on her chest just above her breast and curls up around her, which feels a bit backwards but also feels very nice. She strokes his hair and he splays his hand out over the scar on her belly, and they are quiet for a beat. 

“I’d like you to have a right to an opinion on it,” he says suddenly, quietly, and it takes her a moment to follow. 

“...You would?”

“Doesn’t have to be right away, but yes.”

“Okay,” she says. 

He doesn’t ask what that okay means, which she’s grateful for because she doesn’t really know. And even though she’s not brave enough to ask him to stay over, he seems to know that she wants him to, and he stays. She has absolutely no idea what she’s doing, but she trusts that they’ll figure it out together, like they always do. 

[bivwifeybunny]

I here by request Foolish fluff that can allude to smut!

Maybe reader has a headache and Foolish ends stream early to comfort her and she starts feeling better and then things lead into the bedroom..

(Also may I have permission to write the smut part? Like you put out the fluff and then I give the part 2 that’s smut 👀)

My Special Girl

Pairing(s): Foolish x reader

Warning(s): Cursing, alluded smut (actual smut in the part 2 hehehe 🤭), mostly just fluff tho

A/N: RAHHH I'm finally posting a fic after.... uhhh idk but a LONG time. haha... yeah sorry about that. but HEY it's a foolish fic and that's something new. shrimpy here convinced me to start writing for him (it wasn't hard since i cant say no to shrimpy lmao) but yeah, this is a little collab I did with her. so as said in the ask, she wrote part 2 with the actual smut. I loved writing this and working with her honestly. she helped with a couple questions I had and was really patient with me (i took 11 days to finish this lol rip) so would def do again. also my first collab? im so excited for y'all to read this. anyways this is getting long, enjoy and the link for part two is at the end.

You already felt it coming on. The tension building behind your eyes and the strain forming at your temples. But you’d be cruel to deny him when he looked at you with that cute pout. So you walked off, popped an ibuprofen and came back, sitting next to him as you watched him play some Minecraft.

However, the ibuprofen was definitely not enough. Thanks to his bright ass lights, the less than cozy screaming and yelling, and the eye strain from staring at the monitors, your headache began to worsen.

“I thought Minecraft was supposed to be a relaxing game.” You groaned, eyes squinted as you struggled to keep up with the pvp he was doing.

“Maybe it could be, if Richarlyson wasn’t being such a little bITCH!” Foolish screamed, resulting in another wince from you. His fingers darted around, clicking away as he chased after the little pixelated egg.

And then came the barking.

The back and forth, screaming, barking, with the added touch of his way too bright lights and the blue light from the monitors made you groan again. You leaned your head down, your hand covering your eyes, trying to find some relief. He was so excited to show you his progress on the titan, and you promised you’d at least stay long enough to see it, but you weren’t sure how much longer you could take this.

Luckily though, most of the screaming and barking stopped when Richas made a strategic retreat and teleported away. So you were able to look back at the monitor when he called your name.

“Okay, finally. Alright, alright, look.” Foolish grinned as he warped over to his titan build and began to glide over to it. “Now, I’m obviously not completely done but I’m so close, and I only really have- No, no, nO, NO!” He whined as a creeper dropped down next to him and exploded, ruining a part of the hand.

And unfortunately for you, that note struck the wrong cord and the pounding in your head grew past your limit. “Foolish, I’m gonna go lay down, okay?” You whispered, not only because of the throbbing in your head but also so his chat wouldn’t hear. You hurried off screen, heading back into his bedroom and crawling into bed after ensuring all the lights were off. You tossed the blankets over your head and buried your face into the cool pillow, hoping it’d ease the pain.

Meanwhile, as soon as you left, the doozers were all spamming things like “what happened to ___?”, “i dont think they were feeling well”, “they had their head down earlier”, “are they okay?” and so on.

Foolish, however, didn’t even glance at chat as he hurried off of Minecraft. “I think I’m gonna call it a day, guys. Sorry this was a shorter stream than usual.” He apologized for his 3 hour stream before quickly ending.

As soon as he was sure he ended, he rushed over to his room. He frowned at the dark room and the faint outline of your body curled up under the blankets. “Baby?” He called out quietly, climbing onto the bed next to you. He leaned over, propped up on his elbow and gently drew back the blankets. “What’s wrong?”

“Head hurts.” You muttered, eyes still shut tightly, jaw clenched.

“Aw, I’m sorry, honey.” He whispered softly, turning you to face him before rubbing his thumbs over your eyebrows, a silent instruction to relax from your tense position. “Should’ve told me. I wouldn’t have asked you to come on stream if I’d known you weren’t feeling good. Did you take anything to help it?”

“Just ibuprofen but’s not working.” You answered, leaning into his touch with a soft sigh, making him smile.

“Well, here. Why don't we try a bit of this?” Foolish mumbled, pulling you on top of him. “Where does it hurt?” He asked, to which you muttered, “My temples ‘nd behind my eyes,” snuggling into his warmth. He nodded, moving his hands to your head and beginning to massage your temples gently, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You sighed in relief, relaxing your stiff position even more as he rubbed away all the tension, humming in a soothing, soft tone. You stayed like that for a while, letting Foolish work his magic while you cuddled him close.

After a little while he kissed your head again and moved his hands away, hugging you instead. “Feel any better?”

“Mhm.”

“Good.” He smiled softly. “And I hope you know I’m going to absolutely clowned on by chat tomorrow and it’s all your fault.” He teased with a playful smirk.

“I say it’s worth it. They already get to spend way too much time with you as is. It’s about time I stole you away from them for a little while.” You laughed, lifting your head to look up at him before smirking. “But if you really want me to make it up to you, I have an idea in mind I’m sure you’d like.”

“Oh ho ho ho.” Foolish giggled excitedly, meeting you halfway when you leaned up to kiss him. “Don’t mind if I do…” He smirked into the kiss, flipping you over. “But since my baby was hurting, why don’t you let me take care of you?”

Part 2 :D by @mentallyillcrustacean

Taglist: @jordyncandy @foxilia @lacunaanonymoused @remiwastaken

Foolish taglist: none yet :)

[aanoia]

𝖆𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖎𝖆'𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

These are works of Fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination, coincidence or used in a fictitious manner.

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author.

『 m a r a u d e r s 』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [Love From the Other Side]

summary/prompt: Sirius Black x reader, Love From the Other Side by Fallout Boy

warning(s): blood, death, death eaters, voldemort in the flesh, yk, not good ending

↠ [London Boy]

summary/prompt: James Potter x reader, London Boy by Taylor Swift

warning(s): nothing

↠ [Mine]

summary/prompt: Remus Lupin x reader, Mine by Taylor Swift

warning(s): death? idek

↠ [Broken One]

summary/prompt: James Potter x reader, Broken One by RaeLynn

warning(s): divorce (if you need to talk, reach out. this is something I know personally so I'd love to be someone you can trust about it.)

↠ [arms]

summary/prompt: Sirius Black x reader, arms by Christina Perri

warning(s): Sirius :)

↠ [Cold]

summary/prompt: Sirius Black x reader, I hate making these.

warning(s): ptsd, flashbacks, trauma, yk, the usual with our boy Sirius

↠ [Horribly Right]

summary/prompt: Sirius Black x reader, after seeing Sirius being slapped by his mother, you decide to pull a prank that's outcome goes horribly... right?

warning(s): abuse, getting disowned

↠ [Like you hold the world in your hands, and the stars in your eyes]

summary/prompt: Sirius Black x reader, none (once a pt. 2 is posted this will be moved to the series section)

warning(s): none really, just cursing

↠ ["Just Friends"]

summary/prompt: James Potter x reader, truth or dare leads to drunken confessions leads to sweet kisses

warning(s): alcohol, mentions of weed

↠ [Lover]

summary/prompt: Remus Lupin x reader, Lover by Taylor Swift

warning(s): none I don't think

↠ [Pancakes for Dinner]

summary/prompt: James Potter x reader, Pancakes for Dinner my Lizzie McAlpine

warning(s): heavy anxiety omg, plane crash-ish?

↠ [Timeless]

summary/prompt: James Potter x reader, Timeless by Taylor Swift

warning(s): none

↠ [Possibility]

summary/prompt: Sirius Black x reader, loosely inspired by Possibility by Likke Li

warning(s): heartbreak. not a happy ending ish. not proofread

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

↠ [Adele; 19 as fics]

summary/prompt: it's own mini masterlist, the songs from her first album as fics

warning(s): different for each fic

↠ [Dying pt.1] [Definitely (Dying) pt.2]

summary/prompt: poly!marauders x reader, the marauders had known their girlfriend smoked to dissipate the pain from her abusive family. They just didn't know how bad it could, and would get

summary/prompt pt.2: poly!marauders x reader, a failed attempt and a year later, y/n is finally okay

warning(s): serious TW, mentions of abuse, toxic asf family, drug abuse, weed, alcohol, whiskey, underage drinking and smoking, substance abuse, self harm, cuts, abuse (ish?), depression (not mentioned but apparent), seriously bad mental health

↠ [I Don't Know Who You're Talking About] [You (pt.2)]

summary/prompt: Remus Lupin x reader, after everyone they loved was gone, they needed each other but he was too scared (i'm not very good at these)

summary/prompt pt.2: after twelve years, she meets him again

warning(s): angst, blood, sad, murder, the usual

↠ [No pt.1] [Yes (No) pt.2]

summary/prompt: James Potter x reader, James won't give up until he gets a yes

summary/prompt pt.2: James Potter x reader, James finally gets a yes and makes sure you don't regret it

warning(s): James is lowkey and pushover and I'm pretty sure asking someone to go out over and over again is harassment so that too

↠ [a christmas advent calendar]

summary/prompt: mini masterlist, just 25 days of Christmas (my birthday!)

warning(s): different for each fic

『 h a r r y p o t t e r 』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [Can't Help but Love You]

summary/prompt: preferance, Draco Malfoy x reader, Matteo Riddle x reader, request

warning(s): none

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

『 s i x o f c r o w s 』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [Always By Your Side]

summary/prompt: Kaz Brekker x reader, Saturn by Sleeping At Last

warning(s): slightly ooc Kaz, death, mentions of sickness, blood, could be an interpretation of suicide if you look at the end closely

↠ [Crazy]

summary/prompt: Kaz Brekker x reader, Trouble by Valerie Broussard, the enemy of your enemy is your friend... unless they are also your enemy

warning(s): blood?, knives, uhhhh violence lmfao, enemies to lovers

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

『 a v a t a r (2 0 0 9)』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [It's okay, baby]

summary/prompt: Tsu'tey x reader, Tsu'tey has a nightmare

warning(s): blood, death

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

『 h a m i l t o n 』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [All I Need is You]

summary/prompt: Daveed Diggs x reader, after a suicide attempt you're empty yet Daveed never left your side. What happens when you drag him down with you?

warning(s): suicide, self harm, bandages, sadness ig

↠ [Pretty in the Moonlight]

summary/prompt: Thomas Jefferson x reader, just missing your boyfriend and him missing you (this won't turn to black for some reason LMFAO)

warning(s): broken glass, cheesy Thomas

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

『 o u t e r b a n k s 』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [I can't lose my girl]

summary/prompt: JJ Maybank x reader, JJ finds his girlfriend in a horrifying state after wanting to spend the night with her

warning(s): suicide, OD, foaming at the mouth

↠ [You cut?]

summary/prompt: JJ Maybank x reader, JJ walks in on reader doing something that breaks his heart

warning(s): TW self harm, blood, cuts, broken glass

↠ [Live For You?]

summary/prompt: JJ Maybank x reader, reader is fresh out of the mental hospital

warning(s): huge TW, suicide, self harm, mental hospital, mentions of alcohol and weed

↠ [How Well Do We Know Each Other (interview)]

summary/prompt: OBX cast x reader, Rudy Pankow x reader, the obx cast gets put to the test on how well they know their coworkers (again it won't turn black)

warning(s): drug mention, not proofread

↠ [Believe]

summary/prompt: John B Routledge x reader, your ex treasure hunting partner is your future romantic partners dad

warning(s): SPOILERS SEASON 3! swearing, mention of gun, suggestion of rape (nothing explicit, not even the word), burns, Rafe Cameron

↠ [Touron]

summary/prompt: JJ Maybank x reader, going on vacation isn't so bad when a certain blondie comes into your life

warning(s): underage drinking, underae smoking, swearing, gun, topper

↠ [Snow?]

summary/prompt: JJ Maybank x reader, the Outer Banks becomes a winter wonderland

warning(s): swearing

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

『 m a r v e l 』

- 𝚘 𝚗 𝚎 𝚜 𝚑 𝚘 𝚝 𝚜 -

↠ [Reunions and Goodbyes]

summary/prompt: Peter Quill x reader, after your best friend disappeared you made a name for yourself with the help of the Avengers, what happens when you accidently find said best friend again? But in space?

warning(s): death 😋, not proofread

- 𝚜 𝚎 𝚛 𝚒 𝚎 𝚜 -

(masterlist template by @hyunnows, text dividers by @cafekitsune)

other medias and fandoms

[skzoologist]

Hi hi, so I wanted to say I absolutely love your account. I was the anon who sent the very first two requests, I just didn't have the courage to send a non-anon ask. Could you maybe do something on Bae at the VMAs as Skz are performing. I think it would be really cute. It's ok if not though. Again love your account it makes me so happy

Thanks, Bye-Bye 😊

word count: ~615

warnings: none, Bae just got lost, as usual

a/n: Hey-ho! So it was you who sent those absolutely adorable and fitting first asks! Thank you so much, they still mean so much to me 😭 And congrats on sending this on non-anon, but don't ever feel pressured to do so! I accept anons and non-anons equally, so feel free to choose whichever one you feel more comfortable with. Really, thank you so much for loving this really niche and small account, it means a lot to me, especially because you are one of my regulars. I do notice you guys, don't think otherwise. I had to rush this if I wanted to post it today, since I live in Europe so everything happens when I sleep, and I also had an appointment to make today so. Yeah. Anyway, I hope you like this little drabble, I can always write more if you'd like 😊

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹���˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Chan was befuddled.

His tallest kid was missing somehow, even though they were next to each other just 5 minutes ago.

Bae always did this, somehow disappearing unintentionally in the blink of an eye, leaving his band members in blind panic, trying to find him. Especially their leader, Chan. He swore he had white hair at this rate.

"Guys, guys, have you seen Bae? We're supposed to be on stage in like 20 minutes." - Chan asked, slight panic settling into his voice. "Where is he... ah, there. Hyung, look up." - Felix instructed immediately, the elder's eyes following.

"See that faint, moving dot on the ceiling? Somewhere under that is Bae hyung." "Wh... Is that a pointer? Why's there a pointer on him??" "Minho hyung had enough of searching for Bae hyung, so I put it into his bun, since I helped with his hair today. It's subtle enough that only we will notice it." - Hyunjin replied this time instead, amusedly looking at the moving dot of light on the ceiling. "How the... Nevermind, this is genius. Now let's go and get him." - Chan murmured out, his leader persona taking over.

The group swiftly made their way through the sea of people, careful not to bump into anyone. It was hard, but they were used to it, having been in similar situations before.

"Is that...is that Taylor Swift? Is he talking to her?" - Jisung murmured out, disbelief dripping from his voice.

And sure enough, he was right, their tallest member was standing in front of the celebrity, casually talking and... even slightly smiling? This shocked everyone, not used to their shy member doing such things. He usually just stood there silently, whenever they had to talk with strangers or acquaintances. Or even when they had to make a speech. Bae was basically a living decoration in those times.

"Bae?" - Chan asked, gaining the attention of the lost lamb. "Oh, the others are here too. Pleasure to meet you." - she introduced herself, causing everyone to immediately greet her back with a bow.

"Our time is up it seems. Take care of him boys, if everyone learns that he is this cute, even though he looks scary, everyone will be all over him. Oh, and good luck!" - and with that, she left with a smile and a wave, leaving everyone gaping at her leaving form.

"Okay dude, you gotta tell us what happened." - Jisung said as he gripped Bae's shoulders, the latter taken aback and embarrassed. "Yeah, you never do this with people! What did you do to our hyung??" - Jeongin added in, looking for the apparently lost, true Bae.

But Bae didn't really answer, he just looked away, lips pursed and cheeks dusted with a faint red colour.

"Did you get lost and she helped you?" - Seungmin said this time smugly, causing Bae to cover his face with his hand, basically confirming the puppy's statement.

This only caused everyone to burst out into laughter, gathering nearby people's attention.

"Can't believe you did it again! And S-STAY's gonna clip it, once again! They're gonna make entire compilations of you getting lost at this rate, I can't believe this!" - Felix forced out between bouts of silent laughter, trying hard not to laugh out too loudly. "Y-you mean, make more compilations? He already has several, dude!" - Jisung added salt to injury, both earning a little hit on the head from Bae. "He does, he does! Ah, don't hit me, I think it's cute." - Changbin defended himself, but it was fruitless.

"Okay, okay, I'm glad we're all happy and having fun, but we really need to go now and get ready. Especially you, our lost little otter, because you're our opening act. Now go, go go go." - Chan ushered everyone out, like a mother leading his little chicks.

[falcqns]

give me back my girlhood (it was mine first)

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Tim Bradford x Lucy Chen

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Tim thinks Lucy has fully healed from Caleb. He is quickly proven wrong when they start dating.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Tim Bradford would burn the entire world just to see Lucy Chen smile, trauma, ptsd, takes place around season 5, canon divergence, hints to autistic!Lucy (meltdowns, going nonverbal, stimming, etc), Lucy had seizures after Caleb, Tamara is Chenfords kid, can you tell I have a soft spot for Tamara, Title is from Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve by Taylor Swift, tagging @natashasera

don’t forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

Tim thought that the transition from just friends to in a relationship would be easy for him and Lucy, but he was quickly proven wrong. He also thought that Lucy had healed from what Caleb and Rosalind had done to her, but once again, he was proven wrong. She may have healed enough to continue day to day life in her normal manner, but when it came to their relationship, almost everything triggered her, and it broke Tim’s heart. 

The first time Tim had noticed that Lucy was being triggered was when they went on their first date. Lucy had ordered a drink, an old fashioned to be exact. She had taken a sip of it when it arrived at their table, and Tim saw how a line appeared between her two eyebrows. 

“Everything okay, Luce?” He asked quietly, prepared to flag down the waitress and have her remake the drink if it wasn’t up to Lucy’s standards. Lucy nodded slightly, but pushed the cup away. As she did so, Tim saw her hand shaking. 

“I-It tastes funny.” She whispered so quietly that Tim barely heard her. Tim moved closer to her in the booth. 

“It tastes funny?” He asked, and she nodded, tears beginning to form. 

“It doesn’t taste normal.” She said, her breathing picking up speed. Tim grasped her chin, guiding her eyes to his, and his stomach dropped when he saw the fear in them, realizing what was going on. Her drink tasted different to her, and it brought back memories to when she was drugged. Tim’s heart broke as she whimpered, tears beginning to spill over and roll down her cheeks, her breath speeding up.

“Luce, baby,” He whispered. “You’re safe. I know that what you’re feeling feels really real right now, but it’s not. You’re here with me, Tim, and you’re safe.” He said, still holding her face. “Can you nod if you can hear my voice, Goosey?” He said, and Lucy immediately nodded. “Good girl,” he praised, and smiled slightly when he saw her breathing slow slightly. 

“Can you tell me something that you can see?” He asked, and her eyes darted around briefly, before settling on Tim. 

“Y-You,” She stuttered, and Tim smiled. 

“You can see me?” He inquired, and she nodded. “Good girl.” 

He continued to quiz her on her surroundings until she was back in the present, and had calmed down. She was still upset, but Tim knew it was more out of embarrassment than anything. She had wrapped both her arms around his left one, and was resting her head on his shoulder, looking down at her lap. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Lucy didn’t respond with words, instead she grunted slightly, and snuggled into his shoulder even more. “Baby,” he whispered, and eased his arm out of her grip, and wrapped it around her shoulders. “How are you feeling?” 

Lucy, once again, didn’t respond, and buried her face in his chest. “Okay, okay,” He soothed, helping her get comfortable. “Do you want to eat, or do you want to go home?” He asked and Lucy shakily pointed to her plate, and Tim pulled it over, handing her her fork. Lucy then sat up, and slowly began eating her food. Tim went back to his own food once he was sure she was okay, but he kept his hand on her lower back. 

—

Tim had also noticed that Lucy seemed to fear arguments and disagreements with him. It was something he had taken note of when she first came back to work after Caleb. She was quiet, only talking when he spoke to her, and then if they got in as much as the slightest disagreement, she would shut it down and just agree with him, no matter how he knew she felt about the topic. He thought that she was just taking time to readjust to their relationship being strictly Rookie-TO at work, but he realized as soon as they started dating that she had developed a fear of men, and a fear of upsetting them. 

Tim had asked her what she wanted for dinner, and she had said she didn’t care, and that he could pick. Normally, Tim would be okay with that, but since asking her out, he had been making all the decisions in the relationship, in things that didn’t involve work. He had insisted that she choose, and she refused, and they went back and forth until Lucy completely shut down and stopped talking, which made Tim angry. 

And he knows it shouldn’t have made him angry, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted her to be able to eat what she wanted around him, and he didn’t want her to feel like he was controlling her or the relationship in anyway. He knew that she needed to feel in control, and he wanted her to be able to feel that. 

“Lucy, just tell me what you want to eat, and I will go and get it!” He said, exasperated, and Lucy shook her head aggressively, and turned away from him. “No,” he said, reaching out for her. “C’mon, talk to me, I just wanna help-“ he stopped talking when he saw her flinch away from him. He then watched through the reflection of the tv the fear that had appeared on her face. 

She then whimpered, and then shot up, running to her bedroom, sobs falling from her lips as she went. Tim immediately followed her, instantly feeling shitty about the way he had talked to her. He felt even shittier when he walked into her bedroom and saw her hiding behind the chair in the corner of her room by the window, the soft grey blanket that he bought her her first night in the hospital after Caleb giving away her position, the material peaking out from behind the legs. 

“Goosey,” Tim whispered, crouching down close to the chair, but also keeping his distance so that she didn’t feel trapped. “I’m sorry,” he started. “I shouldn’t have spoken like that. I didn’t mean to scare you. If you don’t feel like you can choose what to eat right now, that’s okay. I can choose for us.”

He paused, and waited to hear if Lucy would respond at all. After a moment, he heard her voice say something, but he couldn’t make out what she said. 

“Can you repeat that, Luce? I didn’t hear you.” He said, and Lucy’s voice could be heard again, this time louder. 

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Sorry I made you mad.” She continued, and Tim sighed, moving slightly closer. 

“Goosey, you didn’t make me mad at all. I just want you to be able to feel in control of your body and your choices, thats why I wanted to know what you wanted to eat. I shouldn’t have pressured you like I did, and I should have listened to your body language.”

“‘m sorry, please don’ hurt me,” she sobbed. “Didn’t mean it, I’ll be good,” 

Tim wiped away the tear that ran down his face after he realized that Lucy was having a flashback. 

“I want you to listen to me, Lucy.” He said calmly. “You’re here with me, in your bedroom, in your apartment in Los Angeles. Caleb is dead, and you’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” He soothed, and after a few more moments of silence, he heard a sniffle, followed by a small “okay,” and then some shuffling. 

Lucy crawled out from behind the arm chair and looked up at Tim, slightly hiding her face behind her blanket. Tim gently held out his arms, letting her know she can come to him for comfort if thats what she needed. She slowly inched her way over to him, and fell into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her as tight to her body as he knew she liked, and stood up slowly, lifting her in the process. 

He let her cry out her emotions as he slowly rocked her back and forth, hoping the motion would help her to regulate her emotions. She eventually calmed down, and she snuggled into his shoulder, sniffling slightly. He rubbed her back as he walked out into the living room, whispering in her ear as he did. 

“Do you want me to choose what we eat? Would that make it easier on you?” He asked, and he nodded, taking a mental note of what to do next time she struggles like that. She needed to feel in control, but sometimes she needed him to make decisions for her, and he was okay with that. 

—

The thing that triggered Lucy that hurt him the most was the sound of a tattoo gun. Before Caleb, Lucy loved tattoos, and loved getting tattoos. She had often talked to not only him, but to their fellow officers, about tattoo’s that she wanted and was planning on getting. Tim had known that she had been tattoo’d by Caleb, he saw it when he was in the ambulance with her, and they had moved her shirt in order to do an ECG after she had her third consecutive seizure. His heart had clenched seeing the black ink on her rib cage, and in that moment he had hoped that she was asleep when the tattoo had been done. 

But of course, God must hate him, so she had been awake. Something he had no clue about until Tamara had asked them both to accompany her to her first ever tattoo appointment, where she was also getting a date, the date that the three of them had stood in front of the judge finalizing Lucy and Tim adopting Tamara. 

Lucy said yes immediately, without even thinking. Tim knew why, of course. Tamara had been let down by everyone in her life, and Lucy was determined to never let her down. Tim didn’t think anything of it, and was even thinking of getting his own tattoo, with both Lucy and Tamara’s birthdays. 

Everything was fine until Tamara was lying on the table, her arm out for the tattoo artist, prepped and ready for the ink. The tattoo gun began to buzz, and Lucy tensed up beside him. 

“Are you okay?” Tim said under his breath to Lucy, resting his hand on her knee, his other hand holding Tamara’s free one. 

“Mhm,” She said, eyes locked on the tattoo gun where it was permanently marking up her daughters skin. “Jus’ need to go to the bathroom,” She said, a little louder, and made brief eye contact with Tamara, clearly trying to tell the girl that everything was fine. Tamara nodded, her brows furrowing for a moment, but then relaxing after Lucy left the room. 

Tim waited a few minutes, before following her. “I’m just gonna go check on Mom, okay?” He said to Tamara. “I won’t be gone long.” She nodded, and Tim left the room. 

He looked towards the lobby, and could see Lucy outside, so he immediately joined her, where he found her near tears, looking up into the sky to preserve her makeup. 

“Luce-“ He started to say, but Lucy cut him off. 

“I’m fine.” She said, her voice short. 

Tim shook his head. “No, you’re not.” He said, and grabbed her hand. “You’re not, and that’s okay.” 

Lucy shook her head, and ripped her hand out of Tim’s grip. “No, its not, Tim!” She said, running her hands through her curls. “Because this is just another thing Caleb has taken from me.” She ranted. “I can’t even sit with my daughter while she gets her first tattoo, I-I can’t get any of the tattoo’s that I wanted to get, I can’t even listen to the buzzing noise of the gun because that’s what I woke up to after he took me-“ 

“Oh, Goosey,” Tim said sadly, immediately wrapping her up in his arms. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were awake when he did that to you. Had I known that, we could have explained to Tamara why you couldn’t go, or we could have brought your headphones-“ 

“I don’t need them!” Lucy yelled, pulling out of Tim’s arms, and crouching down, covering her ears wit her hands, her eyes squeezing shut. Tim sighed, and sat next to her, being mindful to not touch her until she asked or initiated contact. 

“Yes, you do, Goosey, and thats okay.” He said. “I’m not going to judge you for it, Tamara certainly isn’t going to judge you for it, and any person with more than half a braincell wouldn’t judge you for it. I suggested it because when you do wear them out of the house, you are able to cope better, and that’s all I wanted. And as for him taking the ability to get tattoo’s from you, he didn’t. If you really want to get another tattoo, I’m sure we can find a trauma informed tattoo artist that is willing to work with you on this.” He explained, as he wrapped an arm around her after she removed her hands from her ears, and rested her head on his shoulder. “But it’s entirely up to you, okay?” 

Lucy nodded, and sniffed. Tim kissed her on the head, and helped her stand up. She took a deep breath, and looked towards the tattoo shop door. “We should go back in,” she said, and Tim looked at her. 

“Are you sure you want to?” He asked. “You don’t have to, I can go back in and you can wait in the truck if it’s going to be too hard for you.” 

Lucy shook her head. “No, I-I think I was just a little unprepared, and that’s why it triggered me. I’m prepared to hear the noise, so I’ll be okay.” She said. “Tamara wanted both of us with her and I’m not going to let her down.” She finished, as she led him back inside, and into the room, where the artist was bandaging up Tamara’s tattoo. 

“Can I see it, bubba,” Lucy asked, walking up to Tamara’s side immediately. Tamara holds her arm out, while looking up worriedly at Lucy. 

“Are you okay, Mom?” She asked, and Lucy nodded, running a hand through Tamara’s hair. 

“Yeah, baby, I’m okay.” She said, assuring the teen. “I don’t want you to worry, okay?”

Tamara blinked, her lower lip wobbling slightly. “I’m always going to worry about you,” she whispered. “You’re my mom, and I know I don’t know everything that you went through but I know enough to know that you got triggered. I didn’t even think about that before asking, I’m sorry,” she said, a tear falling from her eye. 

“T,” Tim whispered, moving to her head and pressing a kiss to her head as he sat next to her on the table. “It’s okay. I don’t think any of us really thought about it.” He assured her, and Lucy nodded, sitting on the table as well. 

“Yeah. It did trigger me, but I removed myself from the situation, worked through what I was feeling, and then prepared myself to come back. It’s okay, I promise.” She said, cupping Tamara’s cheek, and rubbing her thumb back and forth. 

“Okay,” Tamara said, and as soon as Lucy seemed to be sure that Tamara was okay, she turned back and looked at the tattoo. “I love it, baby,” She said. 

“Me, too.” Tim said, smiling down at his daughter.

“Now,” Lucy said, smiling up at Tim. “Your dad just needs to get one, and we’ll be all inked up.” 

Tim shook his head but laughed along with his girls. 

—

Lucy wasn’t fully healed from Caleb, but Tim was going to do everything in his power to make sure that one day, she would be. Caleb had taken a lot from her, but Tim was going to make sure that she was able to reclaim what he had taken, no matter the cost. 

[hearmeoutworthypoll]

The concept:

Some folks can’t wrap their heads around being attracted to people of middle age, plus sizes, non traditional gender presentation, etc

Others cry themselves to sleep because they can’t fornicate with literal monsters and cartoon characters that don’t exist

Does this fictional crush require some convincing and mental gymnastics or do you just need to lower your standards?

Example:

Lady Dimitrescu, giant woman, mega babe, love of my life. Cracking chalk white foundation but otherwise she is the moment (cue Sinead O’Connor’s cover of Nothing Compares 2 U)

Decidedly NOT a “hear me out”

Alcina Dimitrescu’s monster form

An eldritch horror dragon thing made up of tendrils that explode into mouths layered upon mouths like the petals of a rose, all lined with jagged teeth. The only semblance of humanity is her head and torso also made up of tendrils, making her look like a skinless diagram of human musculature

Debatably a “hear me out” because firstly, would😏 and secondly, she is literally designed to be terrifying and upsetting, if not also impressive and interesting

The rules:

No minors or real people

The wilder the character, the better

The focus is primarily on physical appearance, please keep the conversation light and civil and steer away from ableism, racism, bigotry in general, or shaming others

Submissions or asks welcome! If you’d like to be anonymous, send anon asks or you can request to be anonymous in your submission. Otherwise, I will post the poll as is

If there’s multiple versions of a character, please specify. Preferably a picture reference included with submission

If you want to prevent spoilers, please include a spoiler warning in your submission

Votes decide whether a character’s appearance is unconventional enough that being attracted to them warrants elaborate defense (“Okay just hear me out!” or “why they kinda…[hot]?”) Essentially, is this person being attractive a hot take?

NOT smash or pass, would you rather, or FMK, there’s other blogs for that. The assumption here is people do find the proposed characters attractive

I’ll tag characters and their respective media so you can check tags for your favs. But I can request them again anyway idgaf

FAQ

Is it okay to submit fan art/designs?

•Official art for polls only, please! This can include scrapped concept art. I don’t want fan art submitted without proper credit or permission, nor do I want to sway the polls one way or the other with a specifically more visually appealing design

Fan art and designs can be sent separately as “propaganda” for polls that have already been posted or just for fun. Still with artists’ permission, proper credit, link to their page, etc.

Also nothing too graphic or suggestive

[tortadecereji]

So, me and my friend @megamispe rewatched Monters vs Alians lately. My first thought? Why not make a komaeda centred au based on that lol. My computer broke, so I haven't drawn all the characters, but here's some doodles.

I'm having lots of fun with this au, so ill probably post more of it later. (Feel free to ask me about it if you'd like!)

Also, check Mega's twitter account, she gave me a lot of ideas for this au!!

The story would follow the same line as the movie, except that I added some stuff, so here's about the characters for now if you'd like to know:

Nagito Komaeda: Pretty much the same thing that happens to Susan in the movie, except... he's Komaeda...

Nagito was supposed to marry Byakuya the day a large meteor hit him. Said meteor contained a large amount of radiation that Komaeda ended up absorbing at the impact. Of course, he survived the incident due to his luck.

However, the radiation began affecting his body during the ceremony, which caused his previously light brown hair to turn white and his height to increase unbelievably huge. With that the wedding has been ruined, the guests were scared for their lives, Byakuya was grossed out by him now, and a monster containment organization has been called to capture him. The only ones who did worry about Nagito were Sonia and Gundham, but they could do nothing to stop him from being captured. Komaeda blames himself and his luck for ruining what should be the happiest day of his life and convinced himself that no matter what he tried, his chances of having the loving family he always longed for would always be taken away from him.

Byakuya Togami: He's the heir of the Togami corporation—just like in canon— and was about to marry Komaeda more for status and money than love. Nagito's family was loaded and had control over many interesting businesses for Togami, that's why he chose to marry Nagito, who was the only person left in his family. But once the radiation took over Komaeda, Byakuya gave up on the idea instantly. He did not want to deal with a giant-sized Komaeda, thinking that would ruin his image and career. It's not like Nagito has his family's assets now that he's a monster, so he's not interesting to Byakuya anymore. (Togami is a fucking asshole in this au, I'm sorry, Togami fans)

Sonia Nevermind + Gundham Tanaka: They're Nagito's best friends. Since Nagito's parents are dead, they're the ones who always help him out, including at his wedding. They were the only ones who were more for Komaeda himself after the meteor episode. Gundham even tried to stop some of the soldiers from the organization, but that was in vain, he and Sonia were pulled out of the area as well as the rest of the guests.

Eventually, when the monsters get Mukuro's permission to leave the containment base, Komeada goes directly to Gundham and Sonia's house so they know he's okay. Both Sonia and Gundham don't mind his new form, they're just happy to have their best friend back safe and sound.

Bonus: Gundham says that Nagito has reached his true form and that he knew from the start that Nagito wasn't entirely human. Komaeda shrugged it off as he knows it's just Gundham's dramatic way of speaking.

Mukuro Ikusaba: She takes the role of R. Monger.

Mukuro is a very talented soldier who got promoted to be in charge of area fifty-something(yes, the same as the movie. I'm not creative), where the monsters are being kept. She's cold looking and very straight to the point, but she also has a soft spot for the monsters she takes care of. That being said, she goes on her way to make sure they're comfortable in their new forever home, even if they can't escape to the outside world due to how humans would react.

After some months after Nagito's containment, Mukuro received the information that a huge alien robot bear had arrived on earth and proved to be a threat as it was killing innocent people and causing despair all over the place. Mukuro convinced the government to use the monsters to fight the robot since not even the armed force could, and in exchange, the monsters could finally be free.

Needless to say that Mukuro cared a lot for them, so she was very nervous about this decision as they could get hurt or even die.

Chiaki Nanami: Chiaki is a werebat. She has been in area fifty-something since she was 15. She's now 23.

Nanami has been found by the monster containment organization with one of her wings broken, so it was easier for them to capture her. It was a scary experience, she hated it there, but things improved when she met the Ultimate Hope, who she only calls Hajime(or Izuru if he's in control), they got attached very quickly as they noticed they were both very lonely and had problems socializing with the others monsters in the facility.

When she was 18, Mukuro got her promotion. Chiaki was cautious about her at first, but that soon changed as Ikusaba showed the monsters genuine care. Mukuro even gifted Chiaki a portable game console, which led to Nanami hyperfixation on games.

Nanami got interested in Nagito almost instantly, when he got into the facility, because of her curiosity. She surely hadn't planned that, but after some months, she and Hajime had developed a very strong bond with the white-haired man.

Hajime/Izuru(Ultimate Hope): The Ultimate Hope was born from a failed experiment a mad scientist performed on his son—Hajime Hinata— when the boy was 5 years old to try and stuff all talents known in the child's brain. That resulted in the creation of Izuru, however, the scientist hadn't expected Hajime's memories and soul to still be alive after the experiment. The Ultimate Hope was captured by the monster containment organization right after said experiment when they ended up killing their father in a post-trauma rage assessment.

Hajime and Izuru, despite showing different personalities, are the same person. They have the same feelings, same memories, same body... if, somehow, they were to be split apart, it'd be similar to cutting off a body member.

Hajime and Izuru intercalate who's in control of their body depending on the situation, Hajime being more in control during social and support situations, and Izuru during situations that require a bit more logic. Usually, Hajime's the one in control and izuru appears as his shadow. The same happens when Izuru takes control, but Hajime's the one being his shadow.

As previously mentioned, they take interest in Nagito and decide to approach him alongside Chiaki.

Akane Owari: She's a werewolf. Surprisingly the most difficult one to capture.

Akane has been found in a small village scaring some villagers away so she could steal their food and bring them to her younger siblings.

The monster containment organization tried to capture her more than once, but she always escaped using her inhuman speed. She also put up a fight leaving many soldiers harmed, but never killed them. She has only been captured one day when she came back to her cave and couldn't find her siblings anywhere. She lost the will to fight and let herself be captured.

She still don't know where they are, and that worries her very much, but she allowed herself to enjoy her new life since she not only got free food in the facility, but also got along pretty well with the other monsters.

King Monokuma: It is a gigantic alien robot that Junko sent to earth, in Japan to be precise, to torment the humans and bring them despair. However, King Monokuma is merely a distraction from her actual takeover plan.

She knew that the robot bear would get the world's attention, having most of the countries send resources that they believed would help take it down, as King Monokuma was believed to be a menace not only to Japan, but to the rest of the world too.

Still, even with how strong the robot was, it was defeated by the monsters strangely easily.

Junko Enoshima: Junko is an alien that destroyed her own planet. She's completely in love with despair and wants every living being to feel it.

It's always the same plan, she sends one of her Monokumas to scare the inhabitants of the planet she chose, and kills a bunch of people, only sparing a few that she thought that'd make wonderful remnants of despair and make them destroy their home planet themselves...

She'd watch the chaos and also plan more despairing things to do with the planet's inhabitants, like different types of killing games, until she gets bored and went to the next planet.

But earth is a little special for her, as it would not be the first time she'd be there. This time, she's eager to see a certain soldier again, but not only that, she wants the amount of power that had been contained within Komaeda(of course she doesn't knows that he's the one who has been hit by that meteor...yet).

Bonus thingy: Hajime/Izuru and Chiaki teach Nagito how to feel love. The trio + Mukuro and Akane become a founding family!!!