#I can never bring this up to my parents cause it’ll kill them with guilt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ppangjae · 5 years

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ordinary people | j.jaehyun

Summary | Jaehyun’s parents are coming home for Christmas and he may have made the biggest mistake of telling them he has a ‘girlfriend’. Insert you, his best friend, who so happens to be the only girl he knows and trusts. You, on the other hand, would have never expected Jaehyun to show up at your door at two in the morning with nothing but a proposition; to be his fake girlfriend. And man, are you in big trouble.

Genre | fluff, angst, slow burn, fake dating!au + friends to lovers!au + ceo!jaehyun (because why TF not??)

Word Count | 18.3k+ words (oof almost made it to the estimated count of ~20k)

Warnings | lots of bickering!

author’s note: it’s finally here! this took longer than i had initially thought, but i’m just glad that it’s done. this is literally the first one shot on this blog, so let’s make it official :-)

It's an early Sunday morning when Jung Jaehyun shows up at your door. There's an unusual feeling in your gut for he shows up in casual clothing. His usual business attire is replaced with a loose black hoodie and a pair of jeans. He also shows up with a lopsided smile spread across his lips, a smile that you know so well and what it truly meant. But you're too tired to even bother.

"Hey," he greets you, and you lean against the door-frame to look up at him with a questioning gaze. "Can I come in?"

You glare at him. "It better be worth my time, Jaehyun. It's two in the morning and do you know what my eyes are begging me to do? Yes, that's right, sleep."

"I won't take too much of your time, I promise." He reassures you and you squint your eyes at him before moving aside to let him in.

He makes his way inside your apartment, entering into your small living room to take a seat on your couch. At this point, the sleep in your eyes have been rubbed away and you begin to notice his unusual behavior. You raise an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Wait, first of all, why are looking at me like that?" You question while folding your arms.

He scratches the back of his neck, confessing, "I may have made a big mistake."

"You jeopardized your company?" You blurt out with eyes wide like saucers. Now you're really awake. Jaehyun panics, vigorously shaking his head.

"What? No! Of course I wouldn't do that! My parents would kill me!" He exclaims and you sigh with relief. "Just listen to me first, now would you?"

You take this as an opportunity to take a seat beside him. As he watches you get comfortable on the couch with him, he winces to himself. Once he tells you what he's done, he knows for a fact that you'll be cussing him out.

"My parents are coming home for Christmas," he begins and your face softens.

"Aw, that's so sweet of them, you get to spend Christmas together—"

"And I may have told them that I have a girlfriend." He interrupts you. The both of you stare at each other for a couple of seconds before you let out a snort.

"But—But you don't have a girlfriend." You stifle a giggle, but when he lets out a frustrated groan, you burst out into laughter.

He whines, begging you to stop laughing at him. "It's not funny!"

Your laughter dies down and you grow confused. "Wait, but why are you telling me this now? You could've told me this through text—"

It then hits you. You eat up your words and stop mid-sentence. Jaehyun looks at you with a nervous smile. His hands are clammy and sweaty out of nervousness.

"That's the problem. First of all, I don't have a girlfriend. Second of all, I told my parents that I have a girlfriend. And last but not the least—"

"They're coming home for Christmas and they want to meet your supposed girlfriend." You finish it off for him, and he claps his hands together.

"Bingo!" He exclaims until he falls hesitantly silent. He glances at you sheepishly. "So, do you want to be my fake girlfriend?"

"Huh? No!" You get up from the couch, looking down at him as if he's gone insane. "Do you think they're going to believe you? They know me as your best friend, your childhood best friend, and not as your girlfriend!"

"But you're the only one I trust!" He pouts. You shake your head. "Come on, Y/N, it'll only be for a couple of weeks—"

"No." You cut him off. "Find someone else, Jaehyun. They're not going to believe you—"

"Y/N, please?" He begs you with those puppy eyes and you tear your eyes away from him. Those eyes always get the best of you, but this time, you're not going to let them work its magic. "Please?"

"Jung Yoonoh," you raise an eyebrow. You shake your head. He frowns. Whenever you call him by his name, he knows that you're serious. "No. It's final."

He sighs in defeat. "Okay, fine, I understand. I guess I'll just make something up somehow."

"Yes, you sure will." You fold your arms. "Besides, it shouldn't be that hard finding someone, right? You're a CEO, shouldn't be hard. Ask your secretary, I'm sure she'll say yes without hesitation."

He whines while you try to push him out the door. As he digs his socked feet to the floor, the force of you pushing him is causing him to slide across the whole apartment.

"You say that like it's the easiest thing to do."

"Trust me, it'll be easy finding someone." You finally push him towards the door. With defeat, he opens the door and steps out of your apartment himself. He turns around to face you and give you those same puppy eyes. You shake your head for the nth time. "I'm not going to give in, Jaehyun."

As the door begins to close on him, he starts sputtering out offers. Offers such as doing your laundry for a whole year, paying your groceries for a year, and the list goes on and on. You shake your head but he doesn't give up. He starts getting down on his knees and you can't help but break out into a smile. He pouts cutely, but your smile immediately vanishes from your face.

"You'll figure something out, Jaehyun. But I'm sorry, it's a no from me."

“He asked you to be his what?”

Johnny looks at you with shock and you almost choke on your own spit. It takes a couple of seconds for him to let it sink in, but when it does, he places his face in his hands. He’s not sure if he should feel shocked or confused, but it was definitely something in between those two emotions.

At first, Johnny thought that you had asked to meet up at a cafe to catch up on each other’s lives. But he didn’t expect this. Never this.

“Yeah, shocking, I know.” You chuckle, raising your hot, steaming cup of tea to take a sip.

Ironic. The only tea that Johnny’s sipping on is the fact that Jung Jaehyun had asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend. The idea itself had two red warning lights flashing right at him.

“But are you going to do it?” He asks. “Will you be his fake girlfriend for the holidays?”

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’, and he frowns. You tilt your head, not expecting that reaction from him. “But why do you look sad? Did you want me to do it?”

“Would it be bad if I said yes?” He grins and you send him a death glare. He raises his hands up in defense.

“You know my feelings for him. You’re the only one that knows.” You lean your back against the chair to look out the window. You let out a sigh. “And that’s exactly why I chose not to do it.”

Johnny flashes you a sad smile before shoving the last piece of his muffin into his mouth. You tear your gaze away from the window to look back at him. “I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes, Y/N.”

“Being his fake girlfriend is the closest thing to being his real girlfriend. And with the feelings I have for him—I know that it’s not a good idea.” You shake your head in dismay. “I’m afraid that I’ll only end up hurting myself. All my dreams and what ifs would happen and come true, and I’ll mistake them for being real when they’re not.”

“But have you considered the fact that doing it will give you the chance to tell him how you truly feel for him?”

The question makes you stop. You glance at Johnny. He can see the gears turning in your head. You look down and stare at your cup of tea to contemplate.

For almost half of your existence, you’ve been pining after your best friend. Jung Jaehyun, your childhood best friend that has struck the chords of your heart. But these harbored feelings you have for him remain harbored. It’s all because you can’t bring yourself to confessing. Sometimes you’d get peaks of confidence and courage, where it almost pushes you to confess. But what holds you back is the feeling of doubt, and those spikes of courage and confidence vanish away. You’re Jaehyun’s best friend, and there’s absolutely no way that he sees you as more than that.

But Johnny has a point. If this gave you the opportunity to tell Jaehyun how you truly feel for him, then things might work out. It was killing two birds with one stone; Jaehyun’s parents will believe the act you both pull off and you’ll finally confess your feelings. But why did you feel afraid? Why do you feel like something is holding you back?

“I can’t do it.” You shrug off your thoughts. “His parents won’t believe that I’m his girlfriend. Jaehyun will only embarrass himself.”

“I don’t think so,” Johnny mumbles.

“What makes you think that?”

“If I were Jaehyun’s parents, I’d love it if his girlfriend ended up being his childhood best friend.” He shrugs his shoulders. “In fact, it makes it more believable.”

“How?”

“Because you both know each other inside out. You both share the same tastes, hobbies, everything. You’re best friends for a reason, Y/N. No, you’re practically soulmates. His parents would be more comfortable and relieved knowing that you’re his girlfriend.” He explains and you fall silent.

The both of you sit in the booth in silence. The cafe is busy and noisy with baristas working espresso machines and customers loudly chattering away.

Johnny had valid points. At the same time, images of Jaehyun’s puppy eyes start flooding your mind. You were starting to feel nothing but guilt. But you also had valid reasons. One, you don’t want to do anything that goes outside the best friend barrier because it’ll only hurt you. Two, you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. And three, he could just find someone else to do it, it was simple.

But why was this starting to bother you? Why was this making you think everything over for the second time?”

“Listen, Y/N, this is what I think you should do.” He places his hand over yours, giving you a reassuring look. “Try it out. It’ll only be for a couple of weeks. Besides, you’re the only one Jaehyun knows and trusts. This will help him. It shouldn’t do much harm, right?”

“But what if I ended up telling him? And what if I only get hurt in the end?”

He flashes you a small smile. “The last thing Jaehyun would want is to hurt you.”

You both stare at each other. He looks at you with hope and you look back at him with doubt. You sigh, retreating your hand from his.

“Fine. I’ll do it. But only because I feel guilty!”

And boy, were you in huge trouble.

"Look who we have here."

You glare at Jaehyun. It was your turn to show up at the door of his mansion. But this time, you were a bit more considerate than he was and showed up at a more appropriate time. Jaehyun moves aside to let you into his mansion.

"I'm not going to be here for long," you frown. "I just wanted to tell you something."

“You don't want to come inside and have a cup of coffee?" He grins.

"Jaehyun, I really don't have the time to make jokes—"

"Maybe have a snack?" He teases.

"Jaehyun," you whine.

"Alright, fine." He smiles, gesturing for you to continue. You let out a huff of breath, squinting your eyes at him.

"I'll do it." You mutter. He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"Do what?"

"I'll be your fake girlfriend." You say just a bit more louder than a mutter. He leans in.

"Sorry, what was that?" He teases as a smirk appears on his lips. Oh, how you wish you could wipe that smirk off his face.

"I said," you begin before pinching his cheeks. "I'll be your fake girlfriend!"

He groans in pain, grabbing your wrists and prying your hands away from his face. He looks at you like a child who got his present earlier before Christmas. You're immediately caught off guard when he pulls you into an embrace. The beat of your heart momentarily slows down before it picks up its pace.

The moment is cut short when Jaehyun's phone starts to ring. The two of you pull away from the hug and he fishes his phone from his pocket. He quickly excuses himself to answer the phone call while gesturing for you to come into his mansion.

As you step inside, you look around Jaehyun's mansion. There's a large chandelier hanging from the high ceiling made out of marble. On the walls going up the staircase are pictures of Jaehyun as a child, and Jaehyun with his parents. Along with the pictures are shelves carrying awards Jaehyun had won at school.

You smile to yourself. Although Jaehyun is dripping in luxury and riches, he's never been poisoned by it. He's still the same Jaehyun you met when you were still a kid. He's still the same Jaehyun who is humble and grateful for his blessings.

You snap out of your thoughts when you hear Jaehyun calling out your name. Turning towards him, it looks like he's just got done with his phone call.

"You came at the right time." He smiles. "I need you to pack your bags."

"Pack my bags?" He hums in reply. "Why? For what?"

"We're flying out to Milan at six," he says it as if it was nothing to him. You stare at him, mouth agape in shock. He notices that you haven't budged a bit. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Did you just tell me to pack my things because we're going to Milan in a couple of hours?" You ask, pinching yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.

He looks at you funnily before teasing, "I didn't stutter, did I?"

"How—You know what? I'm not even gonna bother asking."

You've always dreamt of living lavish. You've dreamt of riding luxury cars and wearing limited edition pieces. You've dreamt of paying off your student debt with one transaction. But it was just a dream to you only because you knew it would take a lot for it to happen. Jaehyun was a living example. He was raised by parents who were running the country's top cosmetics business. When Jaehyun turned eighteen, his parents had put their full trust in him and enrolled him in a business program. After hardwork and dedication, Jaehyun had eventually graduated (with high honours!) and took over the business. It didn't take much longer until he became the CEO of the family business. And now, Jaehyun's living the dream.

"I wonder how it feels to buy two airplane tickets out on a whim," you say softly as you and Jaehyun stroll up at a lounge.

Jaehyun takes off his shades and shoves them into the front pocket of his jean jacket. "It wasn't an impulsive purchase, alright?"

"Well, you did just tell me to pack my things out of nowhere because of a flight I'm suddenly boarding." You wave it off. "No biggie, right?"

He chuckles. "It's for a business trip, Y/N."

"Ah, I see." You nod your head. "Now that explains everything."

"I brought you along because my parents might be there," he explains. "But I'm not fully sure. I brought you just in case they do show up."

"Is that why you asked me to pack my best dress?"

"Bingo." He fist bumps you.

As the two of you settle down on one of the leather couches in the lounge, you place your feet on your luggage. Leaning against the couch, you glance at Jaehyun. He's looking at something on his phone before placing it down on his lap.

"I should give you a break down of the plan," he suggests. "My parents are coming home a week before Christmas and will stay until the second week of January."

"That long?" He nods his head.

"Yes, so I need you to keep this act up with me until they go back to America." He adds.

"When they arrive, what's the story we tell them?" You question.

“What do you have in mind?"

"I guess we'll just keep it simple and say we had feelings for each other for a long time but never got around to confessing." You suggest and he seems to agree.

"And then wing the rest of the details?"

"Correct." You answer. "We'll be able to wing it, right?"

He smiles. "Right."

"But you are aware that we have to be convincing to them, right?" You raise an eyebrow. "And what I mean is that we have to, you know, show them that we're 'in love' with each other."

"We hug each other whenever we see each other. I can hold your hand, no biggie. Unless you have an issue—"

"But we also have to, you know—"

"Kiss? On the lips?" He cuts you off. "I have no problems with kissing you. No strings attached, right?"

There's something about his words that make you feel heartbroken. Just a little. No strings attached. It made you feel sad but it was a good reminder of who you are to Jaehyun. You're his best friend for life and his fake girlfriend for a couple of weeks. Everything that happens during this fake relationship isn't real. No strings attached.

"Right." You muster up a smile. "No strings attached."

The plane lands two hours later. The flight attendant directs you to what seems like a different section on the plane. You start to wonder. But then again, this was Jaehyun, always out on a whim. The flight attendant directs you towards the section for first class passengers. You can't help but look at everything in awe. The both of you arrive at your assigned seats and you look at Jaehyun with excitement and shock. He could only look at you amusedly.

"First class?" You say excitedly and he nods.

"Only for the best," he chuckles as he takes off his jean jacket to settle down in his seat.

As you take a seat, you start fiddling with the buttons on the arm rest before a flight attendant approaches you. You look up at the flight attendant and she offers you a glass of red wine. Taking the glass of wine, you turn towards Jaehyun to catch his attention, only to find him already looking at you.

"Are you trying to get drunk during the flight?" He teases.

"Sorry, this is all new to me." You chuckle, placing the glass of wine down onto the table you pulled out for yourself.

"Well, our flight is a couple of hours, so make yourself comfortable." He insists. "However, I just want to remind you of what's planned right when we land."

You take a sip of your wine. "What's happening when we land?"

"A good friend of mine from Dior will be picking us up at the restaurant. She tailored my suit for the business conference we're attending and I told her that I got a last-minute plus one." He explains. "She has a couple of dresses she wants you to try out."

"But the dress that I brought is good enough, no?"

"It could be used as a backup." He replies. "Besides, Marcella really wants to meet the woman that supposedly stole my heart."

"Stop being greasy."

"I'm not."

"Alright. But are you sure you're not spending too much? On me, specifically?" You frown, completely doubtful.

He gives you a warm smile. "There's nothing for you to worry about. You're my best friend, and you doing this for me is more than enough."

You mirror his smile. He grabs his glass of wine while you grab yours, clinking your glasses together as a kickoff to what's about to start and what's about to go down this holiday season.

"Let's kick some ass, babe."

Waiting for you at the airport is a woman draped in everything Dior. She exerted nothing but high class and riches, standing out from everyone else at the pick-up terminal. You couldn't help but gawk at her, wondering how you could gain the confidence she had. She wore a seat of black shades indoors, and slung over her shoulder was cute little purse. Once she spots Jaehyun, she adjusts her shades a bit lower down the bridge of her nose. She smirks.

"Marcella, long time no see!" Jaehyun exclaims.

You assume her name is Marcella. When her eyes land on you, your first instinct is to shy away. She smiles at you, flashing her perfectly white teeth. She pulls Jaehyun in for a hug and pecks him on the cheek. Once she pulls away, she extends her arms to you.

"Is this the special girl you can't seem to stop talking about?" She teases Jaehyun and you fail to notice how Jaehyun's ears turn a light pink. "I've been dying to meet you, Y/N! From what Jae tells me about you, I have a feeling that we'll be the best of friends."

The two of you hug and when you pull away, you turn towards Jaehyun. "You talk a whole lot about me behind my back, huh?"

Marcella winks at you. "He sure does. Now, let's get going. We don't have much time left before the business convention. I want you both to look sickening."

And with the snap of her fingers, two bodyguards randomly show up at your side. You slightly flinch when a buff man dressed up in a suit suddenly appears on your right. Looking up at Jaehyun, you can't help but look at him incredulously when he shows no reaction, as if it was normal.

You decide to look straight forward, fixating your gaze on Marcella. She walks with poise, her heels clicking against the floor and her hips swaying back and forth with every step she took.

Suddenly, you feel a warm hand grab yours and you almost stumble on your own two feet. Glancing down, you could see Jaehyun gently holding onto your hand. You bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling to wide. And how you wish your cheeks weren't a light shade of red because of it.

While you're too busy trying to steady the beat of your heart, Jaehyun's completely distracted by the blush beginning to form on your cheeks.

"Babe, everything alright?" You look up at Jaehyun. He looks at you with genuine concern.

You're not sure if it's the way your hand fits perfectly in Jaehyun's or if just holding hands with him felt effortless, but all you knew was that you were definitely in big trouble. The way he calls you babe feels different this time, no matter how many times he's playfully called you that throughout your friendship.

You stutter, "I-I'm doing alright."

The three of you are escorted to a black SUV with tinted windows. As Marcella hops into the car, she rides shotgun while you and Jaehyun sit together in the back. There's not much interaction or conversation at the beginning of the car ride. You guess it could be because you're still flustered or because Jaehyun's still holding your hand. Marcella looks at the both of you through the rear-view mirror and a smile starts to form on her lips.

"I have a ton of options for you, Y/N." Marcella decides to start a conversation. "When Jaehyun told me he was bringing his girlfriend along, I got too excited and started pulling out my favourite dresses."

"Wow, you're showing a lot of favouritism." Jaehyun frowns. "You got Y/N a ton of dresses to choose from, and yet you only gave me one option. You didn't even let me decide whether I liked it or not!"

Marcella chuckles. "That's because I already know which style suits you best. For Y/N, however, I wasn't quite sure what she liked, so I went ahead and started picking for her."

"As long as she looks beautiful," Jaehyun says softly, and you feel his thumb gently caress the back of your hand. "She already is beautiful anyways."

"Just trust me on this one, Jaehyun. I'll work my magic."

The black SUV parks in front of the grand Galleria Victorio Emanuele II. As you look out the window, you can’t help but gasp. The shopping area did not look like a mall whatsoever. It looked like a tall museum with a long strip down the middle for shoppers and tourists to walk through. But it didn’t stop there. The floors were tiled and the lights were all sorts of bright and dim, giving off a romantic vibe. As you all got off the car, your eyes start to wander off into the farthest distances. But somehow, your eyes stop to stare at a sweet couple who are sharing a cup of gelato.

Marcella leads the way into the shopping area with you and Jaehyun following behind. The bodyguards are too busy scanning the area to even notice you playfully hitting Jaehyun in the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” He hisses, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Jaehyun, I don’t want you spending so much on me—”

“I want to.” He cuts you off, rubbing the area you had hit. “You’re already doing so much for me, and this is the only way I could pay you back.”

“But—”

“Y/N, once we get to the shop, there will be one of the tailors who will dress you up. To make you feel more comfortable, I’ll be in the fitting room if you need my help.” Marcella looks over her shoulder. She smiles at you.

The reaction you have when you reach the shop is not much different than when you had got out of the car. The shop was huge with three floors of endless clothing. Christian Dior. You had never once thought or imagined that you’d be wearing a known brand. But this was Jaehyun’s life, this is considered normal to him. You look up at Jaehyun, who flashes you a reassuring smile. He places his hand on the small of your back, guiding you as you head into the shop.

Marcella offers you her hand and you gladfully take it. Before you even know it, you’re being dragged down a corridor and through some curtains. There are two female tailors waiting for your arrival, and once you’re in their sight, they welcome you. As the tailors take you to the fitting room to try on the first dress, Marcella can’t help but watch how adorable you are.

“Here’s dress number one, Miss Y/N.” One of the tailors shows you a dress hung up against the full-body mirror. “I’ll let you put it on alone and then I’ll zip it up for you. Just let me know when you’re done.”

“I—Alright,” you say sheepishly.

The tailor shuts the door behind her and leaves you all alone. You turn towards the mirror to stare at the dress that’s been hung up for you. It’s a black dress that’s covered in sequins. You touch it gently, afraid that with the slightest touch, it’ll rip apart. You carefully put on the dress to the best of your ability, for it was quite long that it hit the tiled floors. Once the dress is on your body, you call out for the tailor to come back into the fitting room to zip you up.

You’re surprised when Marcella comes into the fitting room instead. There’s something about Marcella’s presence that makes your tensed up body to relax. Maybe it’s her warm and welcoming smile that’s telling you that everything will be alright, and that all you have to do is relax. She had some sort of vibe similar to that of Cinderella’s fairy godmother.

As she’s zipping you up, she asks, “I’m guessing you don’t like this one.”

You look at her through the full-body mirror with surprise. “How’d you know?”

“You look quite stiff in this dress, almost like you feel uncomfortable.” She replies.

“Well,” you begin to explain, “it’s more because of the fact that I feel like I’m being spoiled.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You feel like you’re being spoiled by Jaehyun?”

You slowly nod your head. “I feel bad.”

“First of all,” she says as you hear her zip up the zipper on the dress. “You shouldn’t feel spoiled. When Jaehyun called me yesterday, he asked me to get the best dresses Dior had and I asked him why. Do you know what he said?”

The dress is zipped up. She gently places her hands on your shoulders. You look at her with a questioning gaze.

“He said that you’re irreplaceable and very special to him. He only wants the best for you, for his girlfriend.” She smiles. You feel your heart skip a beat. “And mind you, he didn’t tell me that you were his girlfriend. But by how he spoke about you and how he looks after you, I already knew. I already knew that the woman Jaehyun’s talking about is someone really special.”

“He’s special to me,” you say softly and the smile on Marcella’s face gets wider. “But I feel like I don’t deserve any of this. The last thing I want is for him to spend so much on me, and yet here he is, going the extra mile.”

She laughs. She has a nice laugh, you note, for it rings beautifully in your ears. You can tell that she is someone you can trust. “That’s the Jaehyun we know. He always goes the extra mile. But don’t feel bad for letting him do all of this for you because he genuinely wants the best for you.”

“I’ll try not to.” You say softly.

“You won’t try to not feel bad. You will not feel bad whatsoever.” She reassures you. “Let your boyfriend spoil you once in a while. Now, shall we show him the dress?”

You feel more relaxed with her reassurance. She helps you walk out of the room because the dress is extremely long. The two tailors grab the ends of the dress so help you walk easier. Marcella draws the curtains and you find Jaehyun sitting down on one of the couches. He looks up from his cellphone and his eyes meet yours. His eyes squint.

“Yeah, I don’t like it. It looks like Y/N doesn’t like it either.” He says with much confidence and conviction. It was almost as if he had read your mind.

“Hm,” Marcella hums softly as she begins to look deep in thought. You awkwardly stand in front of Jaehyun with the tailors still holding at the ends of your dress as Marcella starts scanning her eyes around the shop.

“Is there something wrong, Marcella?” You ask and she lets out a soft ‘aha!’.

“I think I know what dress you should wear.” Marcella grins, and she suddenly disappears into the shop.

You look over your shoulder to see the tailors sharing the same look of confusion. You look back at Jaehyun who only shrugs his shoulders.

“Miss Y/N, shall we head back to the fitting room to take off the dress?” One of the tailors insists and you nod your head. They help you back into the fitting room to get the dress off.

Marcella comes back to the fitting room with a dress covered in a plastic garment bag. The tailors excuse themselves and let Marcella work her magic. You watch her with curiosity as she hangs up the dress against the full-body mirror. As she slowly takes off the garment back, the dress is revealed to you and you can’t help but gasp. The dress is beautiful.

“I did say that I chose dresses for you prior to our first meet, but I think this dress is the one.” She explains, heading towards your side to look at the dress. She looks at you and smiles when you don’t utter a single word. “I’m guessing you like it.”

It’s a navy blue dress with a corset bodice, but it flows out in tulle fabric. Scattered all over the skirt of the dress are constellations and cosmic designs. It gave off a feeling of floating in the sky or in outer space. It looked magical.

“I’ll let you put it on and I’ll zip you up.” She insists and leaves the fitting room all to yourself.

You stare at the dress. You had never seen a dress like this, and so you assume that it was one of a kind. You carefully put on the dress, and once it’s on, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. You couldn’t believe that the woman standing in front of the mirror was you. A price tag on the dress catches you eye, but you decide to not spare it a single glance because you knew you’d regret doing it. On cue, Marcella knocks on the door and you let her in.

She zips you up and grins. “I think Jaehyun will love it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

And so when she finally zips you up, she guides you out of the room. The tailors each grab your hand to help you walk. As Marcella draws the curtain, you notice Jaehyun’s busy talking to someone on the phone. He’s pacing back and forth in front of the couch, running a hand through his hair. You hug yourself, feeling a bit insecure and awkward standing in front of Jaehyun. Marcella clears her throat and Jaehyun quickly ends the phone call. He shoves his phone into his pocket and looks up at you.

When Jaehyun finally sees you, he can’t help but feel his mouth slightly fall open in shock. There’s something about the way you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and the way you look at him with those curious doe eyes that make his heart soften. You’ve always dressed up for family gatherings and blind dates, but this was different. You’re dressed up for him. He suddenly has a want of having you dress up for him from now on, because with the way you look perfect and beautiful in front of him right now, it unexpectedly makes his heart beat slow and still. It strikes a chord in his heart. To him, you look so perfect that he’s afraid that with one mistake, he’ll lose you forever.

You continue to stand there awkwardly and expectantly, waiting for his final decision.

“It looks perfect,” he breathes out, “you look perfect.”

“How’s everything moving along?”

You look at Johnny with horror. His pixelated face lags for a bit until you hear a choppy version of his laugh. Johnny’s wifi had been cut off and he had to get to the local cafe to be able to video chat with you. You’re assuming that the cafe’s wifi was nothing but utter shit. But you speak too soon when his pixelated face starts to get clearer and his voice stops cutting off.

“It’s been… rough.” You let out a sigh.

As you take a sip of your freshly made cup of coffee, you watch the busy streets from the comfort of a restaurant patio. Jaehyun had decided to fight his jet lag and sleep in to catch up with Italy’s time. You, on the other hand, had trouble sleeping because all you’ve been thinking about was how Jaehyun stared at you in that dress.

“I can tell.” Johnny smirks. “Has anything spicy happened?”

“Well, other than the fact that Jaehyun spoiled me with a Dior dress, nothing else has been spicier.” You reply.

“Wait.” Johnny’s eyes round in shock. “Dior? Christian Dior?”

“You heard it right.” You purse your lips into a tight line. “Trust me, I reacted the same way.”

“He’s really grabbing every opportunity to spoil you, huh?”

“But that’s not the issue,” you shake your head.

“Then what’s the issue?”

“Johnny, when I wore that dress yesterday, the look he gave me… I may be overlooking and overthinking about it but,” you bite your lip. “I don’t know. I should probably stop overthinking it.”

“Listen, Y/N,” Johnny says. “Don’t overanalyze, overthink, and overlook. Just enjoy the moment. You’re doing this as Jaehyun’s best friend. You’re also doing this for the sake of your own feelings.”

“Is it too late to back out?”

“It’s too late to back out. You’re not going to just let Jaehyun give back a Christian Dior dress, right?” Johnny chuckles. “I don’t even think they do refunds. Do they?”

“This is stressing me out.” You groan.

“Just do it for you and Jaehyun. Killing two birds with one stone, remember?” Johnny reminds you and you slowly nod your head.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You mumble. “No overanalyzing, overlooking, or overthinking. This is for Jaehyun, and for me, if I get the courage to tell him how I feel.”

“There’s the fighting spirit I’ve been looking for!” He exclaims. “Anyways, I have to go, Y/N. The wifi here in the cafe has its good days and bad days. I also promised Haechan to join him and play video games.”

“Alright,” you pout. “I’ll text you if anything happens, okay?”

“And I’ll text you back as soon as I can, just like how I always do.” He reassures you.

Right on cue, the video chat gets choppy and laggy, forcing you to end the chat. You let out another frustrated sigh, folding your arms and leaning against the chair. A pigeon takes a seat right behind the patio fence, and it grabs your attention. You frown, bending over to get closer to the pigeon.

“Hey little guy, do you know what I should do?” You ask the pigeon.

The pigeon only stares at you before flying away. You pout, grabbing your cup of coffee to take a sip. You try to occupy your thoughts but before you even try, you hear someone clear their throat. Looking up, you see a man standing right in front of you. He’s quite the looker. He has a distinct set of eyes that seem to be piercing right through your soul. He has such strong features that it makes you do a double take.

“I was wondering what a lovely lady like you would be frowning on an early morning like this.”

Your eyes slightly widen. Taken aback, you tilt your head in confusion. “Are you talking to me?”

He scans around the patio before shrugging his shoulders. “You’re the only lady here, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Sorry, but may I ask who you are?” You question.

He extends his arm. “Nam Joohyuk. And you are?”

“Y/N.” You shake his hand briefly before gently retreating it away from him.

“Do you mind if I join you for breakfast?” He asks and you shrug your shoulders.

“Sure. I don’t mind. I was just about to finish my breakfast anyway.” You insist.

He takes the seat right across from you. You’re not quite sure what this man’s intentions are, but he doesn’t seem harmful. He calls for a waiter and orders a toasted bagel with cream cheese and a small cup of cappuccino. You look away from him before he catches you staring. You fixate your gaze on the local shops down the street, wondering if you should check them out before you fly out in a couple of days.

“You didn’t really answer my question,” he breaks the silence.

“What question?”

“What’s a lovely lady like you frowning on an early morning?” He asks.

You chuckle. “It’s a long story. Quite complicated too, actually. I don’t think you’d be interested.”

“But I’m interested in you,” he says slyly and you furrow your eyebrows.

“You’re very blunt with your words,” you say softly. “Shouldn’t you be afraid of me? You barely know me. You’ve only known me for five minutes and you only know my name.”

“I could say the same thing to you.” He shrugs his shoulders.

You fold your arms.

“Is it bad to tell someone that they look beautiful? Is it bad to join a beautiful stranger for breakfast?” He tests and you smirk.

“Fine. Have it your way, I guess.” You say softly, avoiding his gaze.

“Well, Miss Y/N, I just wanted to let you know that I find you very beautiful. I couldn’t help but approach you and maybe get to know you more.” He explains.

You decide to call for the waiter, but before you could, someone catches your eye. Jaehyun’s standing near the door leading back into the restaurant. He’s shooting daggers at the guy seated across from you. You feel your palms start to sweat.

“Waiter!” You exclaim, and your voice seems to break Jaehyun’s gaze on the guy. The waiter approaches you and you discreetly ask for the bill. When the waiter excuses herself to grab the bill, you begin to gather your things.

“Leaving me already?” Joohyuk frowns. “If so, can I maybe just get your number—”

“My girlfriend does not want to give you her number.”

You freeze up in your seat. Jaehyun’s voice sounds cold, and when you look up at him, you can’t help but notice how you can’t even recognize him. He’s glaring at Joohyuk. Joohyuk almost chokes on air before glancing at you. You raise an eyebrow at Joohyuk.

“Jung Jaehyun,” Joohyuk smirks. “Long time no see.”

You eyebrows knit together in sudden confusion. They knew each other? Jaehyun’s hands clench up into fists and you quickly finish gathering your things to avoid causing a scene.

“Indeed, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.” Jaehyun says. “I was even hoping that it’d be the last.”

“You really scored yourself a beautiful girlfriend,” Joohyuk folds his arms. “But are you sure that you’re not making her happy? I couldn’t help but approach her because she looked quite… sad.”

Jaehyun looks at you for a moment and you avoid his gaze. “Stay out of this. My girlfriend and I are dating happily with good intentions. The last thing I would want is for men like you to hit on her.”

“I’ll stay out of it. But only until she finally leaves you.” Joohyuk shrugs his shoulders.

Jaehyun gently grabs your hand and tugs on it. As you both leave the restaurant, Jaehyun hands the waiter a couple of bills to pay for your breakfast. You can’t help but feel a bit guilty and humiliated, not finding the voice to defend your best friend in front of a stranger.

“Are you okay? Did he say anything bad to you?” Jaehyun asks with concern when you both reach the elevator. You shake your head.

“I just feel bad for not defending you,” you mumble. “I’m sorry. I was going to leave him, I swear, but he was just—”

“Persistent?” You nod your head. He scoffs. “That’s Nam Joohyuk for you.”

“You both know each other?”

“He’s the next CEO of a competing company.” He confesses. “He has a way with his words, and he always tries to get whatever I have. It’s quite annoying, actually, and it’s all because he’s persistent. He never gives up.”

“He’s going to be at that business convention for sure.” He hums in reply. “I’m sorry, Jae. I had no idea who he was—”

“Don’t worry about it.” He cuts you off, flashing you a small, reassuring smile. “As long as he didn’t hurt you and say anything to hurt you.”

As the elevator reaches the floor your room is at, the both of you step out into the hallway. Jaehyun lets go of your hand and leads the way to the room. You can’t help but think. Why was Jaehyun staring at Joohyuk like that? Why was he getting angry?

There’s a sudden peak of courage and confidence, the familiar emotion peaks that you get when you think it’s the perfect time to confess. You guess it’s because of the way Jaehyun got overprotective of you, how he held your hand, and even how he stared at you in that dress.

And when you couldn’t help it no longer, you call out for Jaehyun. “Jaehyun?”

But when he turns around those peaks of courage and confidence disappear from the look on his face. The anger and jealousy that was once on his face moments ago had vanished. The warmth of his hand on yours had run cold. The deep stare he had given you when you were in that dress was nothing but a result of your overthinking and overanalyzing. Jaehyun doesn’t love you how you love him.

“Yeah?”

He truly doesn’t see you that way. And it makes you feel sick.

“Nothing.”

The business convention approaches faster than you think. Marcella arrives at the hotel room you and Jaehyun shared to help you put on the dress. She even arrives with a team to do your makeup and hair. Marcella doesn’t dare to tell you but she notices how quiet you’ve gotten since the last time she had seen you. It seemed like you had some troubling thoughts you were hesitant to share. But she didn’t want to intrude.

“You look beautiful,” Marcella says once everything is done.

“Do I?” You say softly. You say it more to yourself. Marcella frowns.

“Y/N, are you doing alright? You’ve been quiet since I got here and I can’t help but feel concerned.” She asks. “Did something happen between you and Jaehyun?”

You muster up a smile. “Nothing happened. I guess I’m just really tired.”

Marcella pats your back. “Well, you know that you can trust me with anything. So if anything happens, just know, I’m just digits away. I’ll drop everything to talk to you.”

You can’t help but chuckle. Marcella’s just like Johnny. Somehow, you wish the both of them could meet because they’ll absolutely become best friends. Best friends. Just like you and Jaehyun. Your smile falters.

“I called a chauffeur to pick the both of you up. It’s on me. I don’t want any complaints. I just want you both to arrive at the venue safely.” Marcella announces.

“Marcella, can I ask you something?” You ask.

She gestures for you to continue. But with the gaze she’s giving you, you almost tell her the truth. But you wouldn’t dare do that. The show hasn’t even started.

“My friend is in a complicated situation.” You begin. “She’s in love with her best friend, but she doesn’t know what to do. Heck, she doesn’t even know if her best friend loves her back, in that way.”

“Do you want to know something?” You nod your head. “When Jaehyun told me that he’s in love, I was ecstatic. When he told me that he’s in love with his best friend, I was excited. But when he told me that his best friend ended up being his girlfriend, I felt nothing but happiness.”

“He told you that?” She smiles.

“My fiance and I, we were two lonely people who decided to give love a shot.” She shrugs her shoulders. “But there’s always that one person, the one that got away. To me, the one that got away was my best friend.”

“Really?”

“Really.” She smiles as she reminisces her past. “I was so in love with my best friend, but because I pined after him for most of my life, I lost the opportunity. He fell in love with someone else. Sometimes, I wonder if things would’ve been different if I had just told him.”

“Do you miss him?” You ask out of curiosity.

“I do. But not in that way.” She replies. “I’m happily in love with my fiance. And so, to help your friend out, I would tell her to confess before it’s too late. Don’t be like me. In fact, she should be like you and Jaehyun! I’m happy that the woman Jaehyun’s in love with is his best friend. You really make him happy.”

Someone knocks on the door. The both of you turn towards the door to see Jaehyun popping in his head. A smile creeps up on your face, signalling him to come into the hotel room. He walks in wearing a navy blue suit, and his hair gelled and pushed back. He looked like a prince.

“Perfect timing,” Marcella clasps her hands together after checking her phone. “Your chauffeur is here.”

The both of you find yourselves seated in a black SUV with the chauffeur. On the way to the venue, Jaehyun replies to a couple of emails on his phone while you look out the window. As you pass by, you can’t help but admire the beautiful houses and shopping strips. Jaehyun looks at you briefly with a faint smile spread across his lips.

Turns out that Jaehyun’s parents aren’t attending the business convention, leaving one less problem for the both of you to stress out over. However, potential business partners are attending the event, therefore you and Jaehyun had made sure to look polished and perfect so that this fake relationship wouldn’t slip through.

“Do you think they’ll like me?”

Jaehyun tears his gaze from the screen of his phone to look at you. You’re still looking out the window. He purses his lips into a tight line. His eyes fall upon your hand, and he has the sudden urge to hold it.

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug your shoulders. “I guess it’s just my insecurities getting the best of me again.”

“Listen, you look beautiful. To me, at least, and that’s all that matters.” He reassures you.

“You’re only saying that because you’re my best friend.” You chuckle as you turn to look at him. He shakes his head, looking at you seriously.

“They’ll love you,” he says.

The SUV pulls up in front of the venue, and the men suited up at the valet open the doors, escorting you out of the car. Jaehyun walks over to your side, grabbing your hand in his. You’re already used to the feeling of Jaehyun’s hand in yours, so you’re not caught off guard anymore.

Everything about the event screamed money and riches. People were dressed up in luxury brands, whether it be statement dresses or all-black suits. It was a crowd that you weren’t used to, and you immediately feel yourself tense up. Jaehyun seems to notice how quiet you’ve gotten, and he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. You look up at him and he smiles at you.

“Is there anything you would like to drink, Mr. Jung?” One of the waiters asks, holding up a tray with an assortment of alcoholic drinks. Jaehyun looks at you.

“Is there anything you would like to drink?” He asks and you shake your head. Jaehyun glances at the waiter. “We’ll have two glasses of water for now, thank you.”

The waiter hands the two of you a glass of water. You clear your throat, your eyes scanning through the venue. Everyone looked beautiful and handsome. The aura each individual had was enough to tell you that they’re from rich families and backgrounds. Jaehyun being one of them. But Jaehyun was different from the rest. He built up his future with the help of his parents, and he’s been nothing but grateful.

“Where are the potential business partners?” You ask Jaehyun in a soft tone. He looks around the venue, before spotting them. He points at two people standing near a stand-up table.

“Those are the Park’s,” he says. “We’ve always wanted to form some sort of connection with them. But they were the ones that reached out to us first.”

“That’s nice, I guess they really want to become partners.”

“Do you want to meet them with me?” He questions.

You stare at him with wide eyes. “I—”

“They’ll love you.” He reassures you. “Stop worrying.”

You look at him hesitantly before he grabs your hand. He leads you towards the Park’s, and once you reach them, they smile at the two of you.

“Jung Jaehyun!” One of them exclaims, shaking his hand before pulling him into a hug.

“Mr. Park, it’s nice seeing you here.” Jaehyun greets Mr. Park. The woman standing next to Mr. Park is assumingly his wife. “Mrs. Park, it’s nice to see you here as well. It’s unfortunate that Jinyoung couldn’t attend, I was hoping to catch up with him.”

“Jinyoung was quite devastated when a business matter came up, he had wanted to see you as well!” Mrs. Park says. “I was also looking forward to meeting your parents, but it’s sad that they had to stay back. But I see that you’ve brought yourself a lovely plus one.”

Jaehyun glances at you. You smile at the Park’s. “This is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. You are so beautiful!” Mrs. Park hugs you briefly. “The two of you look great together. I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on, right, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun chuckles. “Yes, that’s right.”

The night has arrived, and the business event is almost finished. Jaehyun was dragged farther into the venue to talk to other CEOs and business partners, leaving you all alone at the bar. Your eyes search for him, until you spot him talking to a woman. She looks somewhat near your age, and she’s quite beautiful that you stare at her longer than you should. She’s wearing a long, red dress with a long slit exposing one of her legs. The dress is sleeveless, exposing her prominent collarbones. She looked model-worthy, like someone you would see pictured in a fashion magazine.

She leans in to whisper something to Jaehyun, and the both of them share a laugh together. You squint your eyes at her. Before you could shoot a glare her way, you stop yourself. That’s right. You’re not his girlfriend. You have no right to be jealous.

“What’s a lovely woman like you sitting all alone at a bar?”

You inwardly groan, turning around to see Joohyuk approaching you. He takes a seat next to you at the bar, ordering himself a glass of red wine. You grab your shot glass and take the shot, bottoms up. Joohyuk places his chin on his hand and stares at you.

“I see that your boyfriend left you here all alone,” Joohyuk says. “He seems to be busy with Minyoung.”

“Her name’s Minyoung?” You question, the alcohol in your system starting to act up. Joohyuk looks at you with surprise.

“You don’t know who Minyoung is?” You shake your head. “But you’re his girlfriend, you should know who Minyoung is. Or should I say, who Minyoung is to Jaehyun.”

“Is this another one of your mind games, Joohyuk?” You scoff. “What do you want from me?”

“This is not a mind game.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m just surprised you don’t know anything about Minyoung.”

“Jaehyun loves me and I love him.” You lie. “We are happily dating.”

“If you love him, you shouldn’t be letting a past-lover like Minyoung stand so close to your boyfriend like that.” Joohyuk tests you.

You look past Joohyuk’s shoulder to see Jaehyun and Minyoung still talking to each other. You scoff, turning towards the bartender and ordering another round of shots.

“Poor little Y/N,” he cocks his head to the side while looking at you. “You should be careful of Minyoung, you know that, right? She’s Jaehyun’s past-lover, but they never really dated. She rejected him. But now it seems that she can’t accept the fact that he’s taken.”

“Taken by me,” you say before slamming down an empty shot glass. “Thank you for your concern, Joohyuk. But I know Jaehyun wouldn’t do anything bad to me.”

Jaehyun winces when Minyoung places her hand on his shoulder. She’s clearly flirting with him. He tries to fight the urge to push her hand off of his shoulder.

“I had no idea that you were taken, Jae.” Minyoung purses her lips into a tight line. “Did you get impatient enough to stop waiting for me?”

“I don’t love you that way anymore, Minyoung.” He confesses. “We were young. You rejected me. I found someone else.”

“But wouldn’t it be nice if you just dropped your girlfriend for me instead? You’ll not only get me but a share of my company as well.” She shrugs her shoulders. “But with your girlfriend, you’ll have her and nothing else good for your business.”

“I was simply talking to you to offer a business proposal that’ll benefit your declining business. But I guess I’m just a bit too nice.” Jaehyun pushes her hand off his shoulder and she looks quite taken aback. “Nice catching up with you, Minyoung. I wish you all the best.”

“Wait, Jaehyun!”

But it’s too late. Jaehyun’s already turning around to head back to you. He stops in his tracks when he sees you and Joohyuk talking to each other at the bar. Joohyuk’s hand is inches away from yours, and Joohyuk’s leaning in closer to you. You look quite tipsy, and Jaehyun spots several empty shot glasses right in front of you.

As he makes his way towards you, Joohyuk spots him and smirks. “Your knight in shining armor is here to save you.”

You glance at Jaehyun. Your face goes blank when Jaehyun pushes Joohyuk aside. He grabs your hand and pulls you away from Joohyuk.

“Jaehyun, I feel sick.” You say softly.

Jaehyun stops and turns towards you. “I don’t want you near him. Did you notice how he was looking at you? How he was staring at you? I didn’t like it, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I had no idea.”

His angered face softens. He sighs. He definitely has a weak spot for you. There’s something that pushes him to lean in and press his lips against yours. He cups your cheeks with his hands and deepens the kiss. Your lips are soft, and they taste sweet. Before he can take the kiss further than intended, he stops himself and pulls away. You look at him with tired eyes, but surprisingly, you’re smiling.

The faint taste of strawberries and raspberries lingers on his lips.

“Let’s go home.”

Jaehyun carries you from the lobby to the hotel room you shared. You’re dozing off but you still had a little bit of willpower to keep your eyes open. The alcohol was definitely kicking in, and everything was starting to get blurry. But all you could seem to focus on is your close proximity to Jaehyun and his scent.

He smelled like fresh laundry, like he was fresh out of the drying machine. Jaehyun carried you like he was folding a snowflake, almost like if he made one mistake, you’d crumble up and disappear. He couldn’t deny how the hairs on his neck stood up all because you were so close to him.

As you reach your hotel room, Jaehyun struggles to open the door, but when he does, he kicks off his shoes and heads straight to the bed. You’re mumbling words underneath your breath and Jaehyun can’t seem to make out what you’re saying. He gently places you down onto the bed, but he suddenly falls on top of you when you don’t seem to unlatch your arms that were wrapped around his neck.

His face is inches away from yours. You’re too drunk and tipsy to even notice that his lips are centimetres away from yours and how he’s literally all up in your face. But Jaehyun is sober and completely aware of what was going on. He’s so close to you that he can count your eyelashes one by one.

His heart is beating fast that he’s afraid it’ll beat out of his chest. Your eyes flutter shut and he can’t help but stare at how beautiful you look. His eyes stare at your closed eyes, then they continue to trail down your face. His gaze stops at your plump lips, and he immediately remembers the kiss you both shared a couple of hours ago. He bites his lip.

Suddenly, your eyes flutter open and his eyes widen in response. He scurries to get up from you but he stops when your hands cup his cheeks. You stare at him through hooded eyes.

“Jaehyun,” you whisper, “you should smile more.”

“Y/N, you should go get some sleep, you’re starting to talk funny—”

“When you smile, your eyes twinkle. It’s like I can see the stars in your eyes.” You smile, caressing his cheeks. “You should smile more. It’s charming.”

He knows that his ears are red, but he doesn’t care. Eventually, you knock out. Jaehyun moves you on the bed and tucks you underneath the blankets. He decides to take the couch for the night.

However, he doesn’t expect to hear the words that come out of your mouth when you turn off the lights.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun. I love you.”

The car ride to the airport is silent. Marcella stares at you and Jaehyun with concern. You’re still a bit hungover from all the shots you had last night. Jaehyun’s occupying himself by answering new emails from his phone. You woke up that morning with a huge headache and an empty hotel room. You found Jaehyun standing outside on the balcony, looking up at the clouds as they pass by. There was something bugging him, you assume, because ever since you woke up he didn’t even bother talking to you. Did something bad happen last night? You couldn’t remember.

The airplane ride going back to Seoul is just as silent. Jaehyun finally breaks the silence and explains to you that he’ll be busy typing up some contracts and documents. You respect him and opt to catch up on your novel during the flight, but something was still bugging you. Was it the troubled look Jaehyun had on his face? The frown he had on? Or maybe it was the way Jaehyun left his in-flight meal untouched?

You couldn’t remember anything from last night except for one thing; the kiss. The kiss you both shared never seems to leave your mind and it was the first thing you remembered the moment you woke up this morning. The feeling of Jaehyun’s lips seem to linger on yours a bit longer than it should. At this point, you’re glad that Jaehyun’s busy with work because you weren’t sure if you could be able to talk to him, maybe even look him straight in the eye.

However, what you don’t expect is entering Jaehyun’s mansion only to see two extra pairs of shoes at the door. You and Jaehyun share a look for the first time after hours of silence.

“Surprise!”

The both of you flinch when Jaehyun’s parents jump out of the corridor. Jaehyun’s mother is the first one to realize that Jaehyun brought you, his childhood best friend, home. And when she realizes it, her eyes go wide like saucers. His father, however, can only grin when it all starts to add up from him.

“When did you guys get here?” Jaehyun asks, completely confused.

“We didn’t attend the business event so that we could settle into your place before you both get home.” Jaehyun’s father replies. “Your mother cooked up a huge dinner because she had a feeling you’d be bringing your girlfriend home with you.”

“Y/N?” Jaehyun’s mother trails off, staring at you with eyes formed into beautiful crescents.

“Yes, mother.” Jaehyun musters up a smile that causes his dimples to pop out. “My girlfriend, Y/N.”

The four of you stand like that for a moment. Jaehyun’s mother stares at you like a trophy that Jaehyun had won. From the look on her face, you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. Maybe tricking Jaehyun’s parents into thinking that your his girlfriend is easier than you thought.

“Oh, that’s right!” Jaehyun’s mother snaps out of her trance and exclaims. “Let’s eat dinner! I’m sure the in-flight meals weren’t pleasant so I cooked you guys a hearty meal.”

“You didn’t have to, mother.” Jaehyun says and his mother slaps him in the arm.

“I wanted to,” she winks at you. “Besides, this dinner will be much more special because your girlfriend is here to join us. Right, Y/N?”

You clear your throat. “Yes, Mrs. Jung.”

She waves it off. “Just call me mother, Y/N.”

Before you could look at Jaehyun, his mother starts dragging you into the kitchen. Jaehyun smiles to himself when he sees you start to internally panic. Maybe having you pretend to be his girlfriend was a good idea, he thought. His parents believed him when he told him that he had a girlfriend, but he didn’t expect them to believe that his girlfriend ended up being you.

It almost seems too real, and there was that small chunk inside of him that wishes it was.

“Son, let me help you with the luggage.” His father insists and Jaehyun takes up the offer.

The both of them head up to his room to unpack his things, along with yours. His father places Jaehyun’s clothes back into its usual spot in the closet. Jaehyun places your things into one of the newly bought dressers he got specifically for you.

“When did you decide to give it a shot?” Jaehyun’s father asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N.” Jaehyun’s father answers. “You know, I always had a feeling that Y/N saw you as more than a childhood best friend.”

Jaehyun stops, looking over his shoulder. His father’s busy placing clothes into the closet to notice that Jaehyun’s looking at him. “Really?”

“Really.” He chuckles. “I guess it was how she looked after you, and whenever she looked at you, it felt… different.”

Jaehyun smiles. “Well, I guess that’s one of the many reasons why I decided to date her.”

“You can tell she really cares about you, Jaehyun. I wonder how she felt when she found out that you had the same feelings for her.”

“I guess you’ll find out during dinner.”

You and Jaehyun’s mother are busy setting up the dining table. Every now and then, you would see Jaehyun’s mother admiring you from the corner of your eye. All your life, Jaehyun’s mother had treated you the same, never different. It was like she knew of your feelings for her son. You guess you could say that mothers always know best. And you liked it that way, where no words had to be said because she just knew.

How you wish that could be same when it came to Jaehyun.

“You know, when Jaehyun told me that he had a girlfriend, I was so excited to meet her. Jaehyun’s not really good at the dating department. My husband and I were so worried that he’d never get married.” She says as she places down a bowl of rice onto the dining table. “But I knew that if he did fall in love, it would be with someone he’s sure of.”

You chuckle. “I didn’t expect it to be me.”

“Oh, I expected it to be you, sweetheart.” She pats your back. “If Jaehyun were to ever settle down and date someone, it would definitely be someone he knew, like a friend.”

“You think he’s the type to fall in love with his best friend?” She hums in reply.

“I know so. When your parents and I watched the both of you grow up together, we’d always joke about how you two might end up together since you’re both always stuck together like glue.” She laughs. “And even though you’re quite shy, I could read you like a book, sweetheart.”

“Am I that obvious?” You whisper and she nods.

“When you both matured, I started to notice that you were beginning to act different around him. It resembled me when I started falling in love with Jaehyun’s husband.”

Jaehyun and his father interrupt the conversation you both had when they stroll into the dining room. The conversation is cut short and Jaehyun’s mother mumbles something along the lines of continuing the chat later on. As the four of you take your seats at the dining table, you glance at Jaehyun and flash him a smile. He smiles back and you feel your heart swell.

“I’m happy to spend the holidays with all of you,” Jaehyun’s mother cheers. “It makes me reminisce all the times Y/N and her parents would come over to have dinner together.”

“We’ll be having more of that from now on, that’s for sure.” Jaehyun’s father adds.

“Cheers.” Jaehyun chuckles and the four of you clink your glasses of wine and champagne.

The dinner is filled with many laughs and chatter. It was similar to that of a family reunion where everyone was catching up on each other’s lives and what they have planned for the future. But in this case, it was more of an interrogation, specifically towards you.

“So, who was the one who confessed first?”

You and Jaehyun unexpectedly pointed at each other, before your eyes widened with panic. Jaehyun clears his throat. “Y/N, it was definitely you who confessed first, was it not?”

“It was you!” You playfully argue back.

He scoffs. “It wasn’t me. It was you!”

“Fine, I’ll just say that it was me to make you feel better about yourself.” You roll your eyes at him and he sticks out his tongue at you.

“When did you realize it, Y/N?”

You glance at Jaehyun’s father. He looks at you with curiosity and you let your eyes wander. Your eyes stop to fixate on your plate. You set your cutlery down onto the table.

“I guess I realized that I love Jaehyun when I realized that it may be too late.” You say softly, courageously looking at Jaehyun. He’s staring back at you with those soft eyes. “He makes me feel special, like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. He always made me feel special.”

“Great. Honey, where’s my money?”

“What money?” Jaehyun asks confusedly.

Jaehyun’s father fishes out a couple of bills and hands it over to her husband. “I can’t believe you were right all along. They sure ended up together.”

“You guys made a bet on us?” Jaehyun looks shocked.

“We’re just joking.” Jaehyun’s mother laughs while her husband hands her back the bills. “We all had a feeling you’d end up together anyway.”

Jaehyun washes up before heading to bed. He stares at his reflection in the mirror, with his eyes trailing down to his lips. Throughout the whole flight, he couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss you both shared and the words you said to him before knocking out. He couldn’t stop wondering whether you remembered any of what had happened, and he wishes you didn’t.

But then he remembers how Joohyuk stared at you that night. It seems to haunt him more than it should. He remembers how angry he felt, how overprotective he suddenly got over you, and to him, it was quite unusual. The last time he felt this way was with Minyoung, and it was slowly starting to terrify him.

Memories of you standing in front of him in that beautiful Dior dress, seeing you chatting with Joohyuk at the restaurant’s patio from the balcony in your room, and the smile you gave him after he kissed you fill his mind. It was all starting to make sense. But maybe it’s the idea of being in a fake relationship with you that’s making him feel this way and making him think it’s real.

His thoughts are cut short when he hears a knock at the door. He quickly wipes his face and runs his hands through his hair before stepping out. You’re standing outside of the bathroom, holding a face towel and your toiletries.

“I know I slept on the couch when we were at the hotel but,” he gulps nervously. “My parents might barge into the room and I don’t want them seeing us sleeping apart.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I have no problems sleeping next to you,” you mumble shyly before clearing your throat. “Unless, you feel uncomfortable…”

“I’m fine with it.” He says softly as he moves aside to allow you to use the bathroom.

You let out a soft chuckle. “Okay. I’ll go wash up now.”

He watches you as you quickly shut the door. He hears the shower turn on and he lets out a huff of breath. He trudges his way towards the bed, placing his phone onto the bedside table. He draws the curtains and opens the door to step out onto the balcony.

The moon is shining beautifully tonight, he notes to himself. He rests his hands onto the railings of the balcony, staring up at the stars that are scattered across the sky. He laughs to himself, to him, you are like the moon. You are unique, and you shine brighter than the rest. But you’re far from reach, and all he wants is to be closer to you.

He doesn’t realize that he’s been out on the balcony for a long time until he hears the shower turn off. You step out of the bathroom after changing into a comfortable set of clothes, spotting Jaehyun standing outside on the balcony. You grab your robe and throw it on, heading out to join him.

“Mind if I join?” You ask. He looks over his shoulder and smiles.

You accompany him out on the balcony, looking up at the sky. He tears his gaze from the moon to glance at you. To you, he was easy to read. He was an open book. But to him, you’re hard to read. With one glance, he can’t seem to make out what you’re thinking in that beautiful mind of yours.

“Stop staring at me, I know I look cute.” He snorts, looking away from you.

“Funny how my parents believed it.” You raise an eyebrow. “I didn’t expect them to.”

“Me either.” You shove your hands into the pockets of your robe. “But I guess they do.”

“Do you perhaps,” he says before falling silent. “Do you happen to remember what happened the night of the business event?”

You know that your face pales, but you quickly shake your head. “No, not really. I had a lot of shots that night, so everything’s a blur.”

“Ah, I see.” He nods his head.

“Is there something I should remember?” You question.

He turns to look at you. You’re looking up at him with a questioning look. The beat of his heart seems to speed up, and his palms grow sweaty. The both of you stare at each other underneath the moonlight. And although you had lied about not remembering the kiss, the silence you both share is enough to tell the truth.

“Will this make you remember?”

Before you could utter a reply, Jaehyun’s hands cup your cheeks and he leans in to kiss you. Your eyes widen with surprise before fluttering shut. His lips taste like peppermint, you think to yourself as you wrap your arms around his waist. He leans in closer to deepen the kiss, and you allow entrance for his tongue to graze yours. Before the kiss grows more passionate than it is already, you gently place your hands on his chest and push him away.

When you both pull away from the kiss, you can’t bring yourself to look at him. He scratches the back of his neck and looks everywhere but you. You’re both breathless from the kiss.

This is wrong. You’re both best friends. You love him and he doesn’t. You’re letting your feelings get ahead of itself, and he’s just a victim of getting caught up in it.

“Sorry.” You both say at the same time.

He clears his throat, his fingers reaching up to touch his lips. You hug your body, before biting your lip.

“I’ll go to bed first,” you say softly. “Good night, Jaehyun.”

He doesn’t answer, and you take it as your cue to head back inside. When you shut the door behind you, you gently touch your lips. Jaehyun looks up to stare at the moon, and he chuckles bitterly.

You lied. You remember what happened that night.

But why did you lie to him?

You wake up the next morning alone. The kiss you shared with Jaehyun gives you a throbbing headache. You groan, rubbing at your temples before deciding to get out of bed. As you head downstairs to the kitchen, you spot Jaehyun and his father leaving the mansion. Jaehyun doesn’t spare you a single glance before heading out. You sigh.

Heading into the kitchen, you see Jaehyun’s mother cooking breakfast. When she realizes you’re in the room with her, she smiles widely at you. “Good morning, sweetheart! Did you sleep well last night?”

“Yes.” No, you didn’t. “But I woke up with a headache. Do you happen to know where the painkillers are?”

“Oh, poor thing. I’ll get you them right now. Do you mind watching the pan for a quick second?”

“Sure, mother.” You insist as you take over and continue to fry the bacon for her. She disappears for a moment before coming back with a glass of water and a pill. “Thank you.”

Jaehyun’s mother looks at you with concern as you take the pill. The look on her face makes you tear up a little, because you were starting to feel guilty. You and Jaehyun aren’t dating, and you can’t imagine the look on her face if you tell her the truth. You can’t tell her the truth, but the way she looks after you like a daughter-in-law almost makes you do it. She doesn’t deserve any of this.

“Do you know where Jaehyun and his father went?” You ask and she nods her head.

“They went to grab some groceries before the stores close tonight.” She replies and that’s when you realize that it’s Christmas Eve. “Do you want to help me cook dinner tonight?”

“That would be lovely,” you smile.

She places the bacon onto a plate with a sunny-side up egg and potato wedges. She hands you the plate of breakfast and you look at her confusedly. “Jaehyun told me that you would wake up soon and asked me to cook breakfast for you while he goes out with his father.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have.” You shake your head.

“Stop worrying. I wanted to. Besides, I had nothing else to do.” She laughs.

You glance down at the plate, feeling your eyes tear up again.

“Thank you, mother.” You whisper and she gently pats your shoulder.

You eat everything on that plate out of appreciation for her. This was the first time someone cooked you a meal after you moved out of your house to live on your own, and the gesture itself made you grateful.

“Mother, do you happen to know who Minyoung is?” You ask out of nowhere.

She replies, “Minyoung was Jaehyun’s first love.”

You hum in reply.

“What made you suddenly ask that?” She chuckles.

You shrug your shoulders. “They were talking to each other at the business event.”

“Minyoung is a quirky girl. She was raised by two lovely parents who ran a successful business. When Jaehyun met Minyoung, I had a feeling that he really liked her, and I was right.”

“But she rejected him.” She frowns.

“Minyoung and Jaehyun were close friends, but not as close as the two of you. Jaehyun saw her as more than a close friend, but to her, he was just another business agreement. When she turned nineteen, her parents set her up on an arranged marriage. Jaehyun was devastated.”

You try to remember how Minyoung looked that night, and you don’t recall seeing a silver band on her fourth finger.

“Minyoung rejected him and told him that arranged marriage or not, she only saw him as a friend. As for the arranged marriage, it fell through. Minyoung threatened her parents that she’ll tell the press about the arranged marriage if they didn’t let her live her life on her own decisions.” Jaehyun’s mother explains with dismay before taking a sip of her cup of coffee.

“She is beautiful,” you state, and she agrees with you.

“What I saw in Jaehyun was what I saw in you. While he pined after Minyoung, you pined after him.” She grins. “When Jaehyun got rejected, I was dying to tell him that there’s always been someone waiting for him. That someone was a beautiful young lady who’s always bickering with him, always standing beside him if it wasn’t Johnny, always there for him.”

She places her hand on top of yours and you smile.

“But I guess at the time, Jaehyun didn’t realize that that someone was you.”

“I know that it’s quite unfortunate that we have to leave earlier than expected.”

You glance at Jaehyun’s mother who’s getting her makeup done. The original plan was that Jaehyun’s parents would be here for the holidays and go back to America in the middle of January. But due to circumstances related to the business, they have to fly back to America right after New Year’s Day. When Jaehyun’s parents broke the news out to the both of you, you both could feel nothing but relief. Once they’re gone, everything between the two of you goes back to normal and the fake relationship will be nothing but the past.

“I know, I really wanted to spend more time with you.” You say softly.

To your surprise, there was another business event happening tonight. You smile to yourself when you remember Jaehyun falling down to his knees, begging you to do him one last favour. And so here you were, getting your hair and makeup done with his mother before the event.

“This event is going to be quite interesting,” she sighs. “The Park’s and the Kim’s will be there.”

“The Kim’s?”

“Minyoung and her family will be there.” She replies. “Not quite sure why, but I suppose the Park’s had brought them along because they’re business partners.”

“Maybe they want to propose a business merge?” You assume and she shakes her head.

“We can definitely merge with the Park’s, I have no problem working with them. But with the Kim’s? I’m not sure about that.” She says with a face filled with distaste.

“Ah, I see.” You mumble.

“The idea of the Kim’s being at the event bothers me, but I’m not sure why.” She says, deep in thought. The makeup artist pulls up two shades of lipstick and asks her to choose one. As she points to the coral-shade lipstick, she glances at you. “Doesn’t it bother you too?”

“I feel slightly suspicious,” you reply. She hums in agreement.

As both of your makeup finishes up, you head towards the bedroom you and Jaehyun shared. As you walk in, you stop in your tracks when you see a box sitting on top of the bed. Your eyes read the label, and then widen like saucers when they read ‘Dior’. You shake your head to yourself, Jaehyun spoils you too much.

Opening the box, you see a white dress. In the box is another small box, and when you open it, it reveals a beautiful set of Chanel earrings. As you carefully take out the white dress, a note is stuck to the bottom of the box. You set the dress aside and pull out the note.

When I saw this dress, I thought that you’d look beautiful in it. As always. -Jaehyun

You stare at the dress and the guilt slowly starts to build up. You don’t deserve any of this. This wasn’t right. Once this act is done, Jaehyun would have to return the dress and the earrings. Once this act is done, all of your clothes will be packed away in your luggage. Once this act is done, Jaehyun will be dropping you off at your house. Once this act is done, you’ll be back to best friends.

Why did you agree to this?

The night is still young and the Park’s arrive on time. The event turns out to be a reservation at a small event room, all three families are set to be seated at a long dining table. The Kim’s have yet to arrive, but as expected, they always arrive “fashionably late”.

As per usual, Jaehyun looks stunning. He looks like a prince that’s ready to settle down and rule a whole kingdom. This time around, he’s dressed up in a black suit, tailored perfectly to his body proportions. As for you, you were dressed up in a white dress. The dress stops right at your feet, and the material is quite light that it flows effortlessly down your legs. It has a long slit that shows cleavage up to the middle of your thigh.

“Miss Y/N, you look beautiful like always.” Mrs. Park greets you with a peck on the cheek. You smile and feel an arm wrap around your waist. You’re used to the feeling of Jaehyun’s arms around you, so this type of affection doesn’t surprise you anymore.

“Thank you, Mrs. Park.” You giggle. Jaehyun rubs circles around the small of your back and you can feel yourself slightly shiver at the gesture.

You look up at Jaehyun to find him already looking at you. He leans in to kiss your cheek. You feel your cheeks heat up. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” you mumble. “You look great yourself.”

“The Kim’s are arriving in a couple of minutes,” Jaehyun’s father announces just as he finishes up a phone call. He nods his head at Jaehyun. “Jaehyun, do you mind waiting for them outside? We wouldn’t want them getting lost on the way.”

“Sure,” Jaehyun says and his arm leaves your waist. You suddenly feel empty.

As Jaehyun heads out, there’s a small voice inside of you yelling for you to accompany him. You feel troubled, until you feel Jaehyun’s mother gently pat your shoulder.

“Why don’t you go with Jaehyun?” Jaehyun’s mother insists, and it’s almost like she had read your mind. You nod your head and quickly catch up to Jaehyun.

The both of you stand at the entrance, waiting for some sort of luxury car to pull up. Soon enough, there’s a set of bright headlights that fall into your line of sight. Before the car pulls up, Jaehyun’s phone starts to ring.

“I’ll be quick. It’s an important phone call,” he says softly, before excusing himself. Out of panic, you start to follow him because you don’t want to greet the Kim’s all alone. You’ve never met them personally. Heck, you don’t even know how they look like.

But as you’re following Jaehyun, you hear a car pull up to the entrance and quiet chatter. You stop in your tracks, looking over your shoulder to see Minyoung get out of the car along with her parents. She looks suspicious, you note to yourself. Her parents huddle around her and start talking to her in soft voices. You slowly walk up to a post and hide behind it to not make yourself seen.

“Remember, we came here to merge with the Jung’s, alright?”

“You did tell us that you’re interested in Jaehyun. This is your opportunity to make that happen.”

“That’s easy to do. Once I tell Jaehyun everything, he’ll leave that poor little girl for me instead.”

You frown. There’s a sudden urge for you to come out from hiding and get into a fight with them. But there’s that insecurity that you have within you that tells you that you’re nothing compared to Minyoung. What you do won’t be enough anyway. She had the power, the looks, and the money.

As you hear them start to head inside the venue, you can hear Jaehyun greet them and guide them inside. You successfully come out of hiding and follow a couple metres behind them. Minyoung stares at Jaehyun with much conviction. She looks like a sly cat, suspicious and mysterious. She’s here for one thing and she will do everything in her power to get it.

“Ah, the Kim’s are here!” Jaehyun’s mother exclaims, hugging each one of them. As she hugs Minyoung, you can only softly snort to yourself when Minyoung hugs her a bit too tight. Jaehyun’s mother slightly pushes her away. “Seems like you missed me a lot, Minyoung.”

“Oh, I sure did, mother.” She smiles. If you weren’t so obvious, you would be shooting daggers at her at this moment.

Jaehyun’s mother seems to wince at how Minyoung calls her, but shrugs it off as she catches up with Minyoung’s parents.

“Shall we have dinner first?” Jaehyun insists and everyone agrees.

Everyone sits around the dining table and starts digging into their food. You watch each one of them as they speak, noticing how they speak with such grace and passion for their work. As for Jaehyun, you can’t help but admire how professional he looked when he spoke. There’s a special glint in his eyes that show how much he loves what he does. It was like being a CEO of a company was his fate. You can’t help but feel out of place sitting at a table with a bunch of business people.

Jaehyun seems to notice how you’ve gone quiet. You feel someone’s hand grab yours from under the table and you slightly flinch in your seat. Glancing under the table, you relax when you see Jaehyun’s fingers interlock with yours. You look at him and he gives you a reassuring smile.

“Miss Y/N, you never really told us about what you do.” Mrs. Kim says, and she looks at you suspiciously. You knew what she had planned up her sleeve. “Do you run a business?”

You clear your throat and set your cutlery down onto the table. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t run a business. I graduated with a degree in human biology. I’m currently focused on research with a couple of colleagues that I graduated with.”

“Interesting.” Minyoung squints her eyes at you. “I wonder how Jaehyun seems to take interest in you. Aren’t your conversations a bit different? Jaehyun talks about business and you talk about… science. Isn’t it conflicting?”

“Well, they were both best friends before they dated so I’m sure having conversations with each other aren’t difficult.” Jaehyun’s mother butts in.

“Once your research is done, what are your next plans?” It was now Mr. Kim’s turn to interrogate you. You feel quite uneasy at the sudden attention that’s been focused on you, and Jaehyun could tell.

“Once we publish the research papers, we’re all going to venture off and do more research. The world is revolving and technology is improving, Mr. Kim. There are still more things in the world that we have yet to discover.” You say with passion and determination. “Don’t you think so, Mr. Kim?”

He looks quite taken aback. “Y-Yes, I think very much so, Miss Y/N.”

“Conversations with her are quite interesting,” Jaehyun butts in. “I love how she has such a positive outlook on the world around us. She’s doing much more for the world than you’ll ever know. I guess that’s why I love her so much.”

You share a look with Jaehyun and his parents and they seem to pick up what’s going on. Jaehyun sets his things aside and gets up. “Everything alright?”

He smiles at you. “I’ll have to excuse myself. I’ll be right back, just have to use the washroom.”

The conversation about you cuts short and the attention is soon directed to the Park’s. As you’re continuing to eat your meal and listen in on the conversation, you could see Minyoung slowly get up from her seat.

“Excuse me,” she announces. “I’ll use the washroom really quickly.”

You shove a forkful of mushrooms into your mouth as you suspiciously watch her head out of the room. Once she’s out of sight, you glance at Jaehyun’s mother who nods her head. She reads your mind yet again. You get up from your seat and everyone looks at you.

“Sorry, excuse me. I’ll be back, I’ll thank the chef for cooking us a great meal tonight.”

Everyone smiles at you before you head out of the room. As you head towards the washrooms, you stop walking when you hear Minyoung giggle. You furrow your eyebrows, following the sound of her laughter. It leads you to another room. You spot the washrooms that are on the opposite end of the corridor. You frown.

Her laughter seems to get louder and louder, until you find yourself standing in front of a door. You bite your lip to contain your anger when you hear Jaehyun mumbling something you can barely make out. You barge into the room and you can’t help but gasp.

Jaehyun’s sitting on a small couch and Minyoung’s sitting on his lap. She’s inches away from kissing him. You can’t help but laugh to yourself. Jaehyun didn’t even bother pushing her off of him. When they hear you laugh, they glance at you in shock.

“Sorry, I thought this was the washroom.” You chuckle, shaking your head in disbelief. “I guess I’ll leave you two some privacy unless you two want me to cause a scene.”

“Y/N, I can explain—”

“You don’t need to.” You cut Jaehyun off. “I suggest you leave, Minyoung, before I tell everyone what you had just planned on doing.”

She smirks, rolling her eyes at you. She shows no shame as she leaves the room, bumping your shoulder while she’s at it. You glance at Jaehyun with disbelief.

“Y/N, I’m sorry—”

“You don’t need to say sorry to me.” You shake your head. “We’re not dating, right? This is all just an act, right?”

“I had no idea what she was trying to do—”

“And yet you let her sit on your lap? Unbelievable, Jae!” You feel tears start to well up in your eyes. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”

“I’m not.”

You scoff. “You know, throughout this whole thing, I found it difficult to be around you. I don’t even know why I agreed to this in the first place. And then when your parents came, I started to feel guilty because we were putting on a show for them. But then I started to feel bad for myself, because I didn’t think I would stoop this low for you to realize something, to realize that the feelings that I have for you are different.”

“What feelings, Y/N? We’re not dating—”

“And that’s it! That’s the problem! We’re not dating!” You yell. “I’d always forget that this is fake because a part of me felt that this was real. But what you did just now just showed me how much of a fool you are, Jae. While you’re still in love with a woman who only wants your money, you’re hurting someone else in the process of it all. And that someone doesn’t want your money, she just wants you.”

Jaehyun can only fall silent in shock. It was all starting to add up for him. You watch him as he starts to consume your words and realize what they truly meant. He frustratingly runs his fingers through his hair. He’s at a loss for words. You’re in love with him. He’s not sure when you started feeling this way for him, but it was all starting to make sense.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.” That’s all he could manage to say.

You sigh. “I’m sorry too, Jae, because I don’t think I can do this much longer. I’m sure you can figure out an explanation to tell your parents.”

“Y/N—”

“And I guess I should say sorry to myself for falling in love with you, because even though I knew that you didn’t feel the same way, I still tried. I gave it a chance because of that small sliver of hope.”

Being heartbroken is a mess. It’s a mess that you never asked for. But maybe you deserved it. You’ve run out of tears and you’ve run out of energy to be sad. Scattered all over your bed are used up Kleenex tissues and empty Kleenex boxes. Your phone never seems to stop ringing, but you don’t even bother looking at it. Johnny has tried reaching out to you, but you can’t bring yourself to facing him. You’re not even sure what day it is, because you’ve spent so much time crying yourself to sleep and forcing yourself to get out of bed. You wondered if Jaehyun felt the same, but you could only laugh at yourself. He was probably doing just fine.

No, it’s not just a ‘maybe you deserved it’. You did deserve it. You deserved to get your heart broken. You had set this all up for failure, and you were stupid enough to think that you’d get the benefit of the doubt.

But it’s too late to blame yourself now. You have no choice but to move on. Jaehyun probably got together with Minyoung. This was what he wanted, right?

Your thoughts are cut short when you hear someone knock on the door. You force yourself out of bed for the first time this week, trudging towards the door. Looking through the peephole to see who it is, you feel your heart stop when you see Jaehyun’s mother standing outside.

You hesitate. You ponder whether you should pretend like no one’s home until she goes away or actually letting her into your home. You decide to open the door.

Jaehyun’s mother looks at you in shock and sadness. “Y/N?”

“Hi, mother.” You say in a soft voice. “Would you like to come in?”

She makes herself comfortable in your home, seeing little bits and pieces of your childhood that you brought along with you when you moved out. She stops and looks at a framed picture of you and Jaehyun on his seventh birthday hung up on the wall.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush but,” she says as she averts her gaze away from the picture. “Jaehyun told me everything.”

“I’m sorry,” you say barely above a whisper. You’re surprised that she’s not mad at you. You’re more surprised that she’s grinning at you.

“It’s okay.” She mumbles. “I just wanted to see if you were doing alright.”

“Well, honestly, I feel devastated.” You shrug your shoulders. “But I guess that’s just how things were supposed to end up. I’m so sorry for what we’ve done, we truly didn’t mean it. Jaehyun just wanted you to be happy for him, so I guess this whole ‘relationship’ gone way out of hand.”

“He explained why he did it and apologized. I’m not mad.” She reassures you. “I kind of wished that it was real. But when Jaehyun told me the truth, I couldn’t help but wonder how you were feeling.”

“I’m holding up fine. I guess with time, I’ll be alright, and things will go back to normal.” She’s aching to reach out to you, because the bags underneath your eyes tell her a different story. “Is Jaehyun doing alright?”

“This is why I admire you,” she smiles. “You’re selfless. You think about others than yourself.”

You can’t seem to say anything to that. She can’t seem to understand how horrible you must feel. “How’d you know that I was in love with Jaehyun?”

“I could see it, Y/N.” She replies. “You look at him like he’s your world. In your eyes, I see nothing but love… but also fear. I think it must be because you’re afraid to tell him how you truly feel. You fear that once you tell him, you’ll end up losing him forever.”

“I guess the heart never lies.” You chuckle.

“I’m not in the right place to tell you whether Jaehyun returns the same feelings or not but,” she sighs, “if he doesn’t feel the same way, then he’s truly missing out on someone special.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“I know you don’t. But just give him some time, and maybe it’ll be enough for him to recollect his thoughts and realize things.” She suggests. “In the meantime, rest well, alright, Y/N? For me, and for Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun’s been a mess since the dinner with the Park’s and Kim’s. He’s been cooped up in his room almost everyday. The only time he would come out of his room would be for his meals. He explained and told the truth to his parents, and he was glad that they didn’t get mad at him. His parents had left for America the day before, and now he’s left all alone in his mansion.

Every night, he would step out onto the balcony and stare up at the moon. It was the closest thing he could have that resembles you. Your words echo in his mind, haunting him.

After washing up before going to bed, he turns on some music before stepping out onto the balcony. The moon is covered by clouds tonight, but he could still see it shine peacefully. He can’t stop thinking about you.

He’s not sure about his feelings for you, but what he’s sure of is that you’re someone different than the rest. You’re someone special and he can’t afford losing you. He’s aware that his heart beats differently whenever you’re around. He’s aware that you see him in a different light, and that it’s been this way for almost all your life.

He’s sure that he doesn’t deserve you. But he feels a little selfish. He wants to have you all to himself. He can’t seem to bear the thought of you belonging to someone else. Even the imagination of you standing at the altar with someone else makes him feel sick.

“Am I too late?” He thinks aloud, looking at the moon as if it had an answer for him.

But his phone buzzes in his pocket, and his phone itself has an answer to his thoughts.

y/n (10:43 pm): can we meet up?

The river flows peacefully, flowing at its own pace. It’s gloomy outside with the wind a bit chillier than usual. You hug yourself, bracing the chilly wind that breezes by. A couple passes by, and you can’t help but stare at them. They’re holding hands until the man places their interlocked hands into his pocket. You inwardly sigh.

From afar, you can hear faint footsteps get louder and louder, crunching dried, fallen leaves. You look over your shoulder to see Jaehyun approaching you. He has two cups of warm coffee. You smile when he arrives. He hands you your drink and you mumble a soft ‘thanks’ before he sits next to you.

The both of you sit against a tree in silence. After Jaehyun’s mother dropped by to talk to you, you figured that the best way to resolve this is to be lighter about it. This whole situation was planned for failure, and the both of you let your emotions get the best of it. Things got out of hand.

“I’m sorry,” Jaehyun breaks the silence.

“Me too.” You purse your lips into a tight line. “I shouldn’t have left everything on you like that.”

“And I shouldn’t have dismissed your emotions like it was nothing,” he adds. “Your emotions are valid, you know? It was rude of me to brush it off like it was nothing.”

“I accept your apology.” You smile.

“I accept yours as well, even though you shouldn’t be apologizing. You did nothing wrong.” He glances at you and he feels blinded by your smile. His heart skips a beat. “But do you mind hearing me out?”

You look at him confusedly. “Is there anything else to explain?”

He tears his gaze away from you to look at the river. You stare at him, waiting for him to continue. “That night when we came back from the business event in Milan, I knew that you would remember the kiss we shared. But I also knew that you wouldn’t remember the words you said to me before you knocked out.”

“What did I say?” You question.

“You said you loved me,” he replies softly. You feel your cheeks flush. “It made me wonder. When Joohyuk stared at you like that, I didn’t feel good about it. I saw you and Joohyuk at the restaurant patio from our hotel room, and it forced me to get out of bed.”

“I don’t like Joohyuk that way.” You chuckle. “Trust me.”

“I know, but it looked like he liked you.” He shrugs his shoulders. “And I hated it. But I disregarded my feelings because I thought, why would I feel this way? You’re just my best friend. But then I remembered seeing you in that dress for the first time, and it was like time had stopped. It was like it was just the two of us in that room.”

You feel yourself slowly smile. Where was this going?

“And then I realized that I never told you about Minyoung. I wondered why you never knew, and why I never bothered to tell you. I remembered the night I told Minyoung my feelings for her and coming home after being rejected only to find you sitting on the couch with Chinese takeout. It was funny that out of all days to confess, I confessed to her on my birthday.”

He glances at you and you both chuckle. Out of nowhere, Jaehyun grabs your hand in his.

“When I saw that picture of you and I on my seventh birthday up on your wall, I wondered, why would you keep such a photo?” He says. “And when my parents started talking about how they knew we’d end up together and when my father told me that he always had a feeling that you saw me as more than a friend, it was all starting to make sense.”

“But then how about when I caught you and Minyoung?”

He grimaces. “Minyoung told me that her parents were planning on setting her up for another marriage, but they gave her freedom of choice. She chose me. It made me realize that I was just a business transaction to her, as if my confession for her didn’t matter. I said no, because you and I were together, and something inside of me was dying for those words to be true.”

“But she almost kissed you?” He hums in reply.

“When I said no, she forced herself on me, and then you came in.” He explains. “It was all just bad timing.”

“Minyoung will really go out of her way to get something she wants, huh?” You frown and Jaehyun shrugs his shoulders.

“It’s okay, she can’t have me.” He smiles. “I’m all yours.”

“Since when?” You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t remember you confessing to me.”

“Did I not just confess to you right now?” He pouts.

You look away from him to hide the grin spreading across your lips. “Did you not? I don’t know, I might have to hear it again.”

“Y/N,” he whines.

“Okay, I’m just playing with you.” You glance at him. “But maybe I really want to hear it again.”

The both of you stare at each other. Jaehyun feels time slow down and his heartbeat pick up. You were easy to read now. Your soft brown eyes show nothing but love and warmth the moment he looks into them. A faint smile replaces the grin on your face when you see your own reflection in Jaehyun’s eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he whispers. “I think I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, but was too blind to see it.”

“Yeah,” you pinch his cheeks. “You might need to get a pair of glasses to fix that.”

“You’re not going to say it back?”

“Say what, back?” You tease and he pouts.

“I take it back, then—”

“Fine!” You cut him off. “I’m in love with you, Jae. I’ve been in love with you since we were seven, since your seventh birthday, to be exact. That’s why I have that photo up on my wall.”

“Really?”

You smile. “Really.”

One year later…

“Quick! He’s arriving in five minutes!”

Jaehyun’s mother scurries around the kitchen with a pot filled with kimchi stew while Jaehyun’s father washes up the last set of dirty dishes. The mansion has been empty for the past week because Jaehyun had been travelling to several business events. His parents had decided to arrive home earlier than Jaehyun was informed off, to surprise him just like last year.

“He said he would be home by seven! It’s only five!”

“Maybe his flight landed earlier? I don’t know!”

The both of them are scurrying around the dining table, making sure everything is set up perfectly. They set up three plates and glasses along with three pairs of cutlery just for the family. The dining table is colourful with several dishes Jaehyun’s mother had cooked for him.

Five minutes soon become ten seconds and the both of them are fixing up the Christmas tree. Soon enough, there’s a knock at the door. The both of them glance at each other and let out a huff of breath. As they both head towards the door, Jaehyun’s mother dusts off her apron before opening it. His parents could only stare in shock.

“Welcome home—”

“Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad. Meet my girlfriend, Y/N.”

author’s note: it’s finally done! ahhhh!! after so much interruptions, it’s finally done. i’m just happy that it’s done. i’m so sorry for having you wait for so long. but here it is :-) i hope you liked it and i wish you a happy new year!

i’m also wondering if i should do a drabble game where i post a list of AUs, prompts, and genres for you to choose from and i’ll write something short in return. what do you think?

let me know what you think! comments, feedback, questions? hmu!

#jaehyun scenarios #jung jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun blurbs #jaehyun fluff #nct jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 #nct #nct 127 scenarios #nct scenarios #jung yoonoh scenarios #yoonoh scenarios #nct fluff #nct blurbs #nct 127 blurbs #jaehyun

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teamfreewill2pointo · 4 years

Text

Sam’s Emotional Arc 1/3

I hated the finale immediately, but I’ve spent some time with it and talked to friends who loved it. I can see now what it was about, and I’ve come to appreciate the story they were trying to tell, even if I think it didn’t land right.

I’ve been told that my meta on this has helped other people come to terms with the finale, so I thought I’d compile it in one place from across various discord channels and twitter posts. If you are struggling with the finale, I hope it helps you.

Part of this actually started with a shit post. I was making a joke about Sam being psychic since he was scared of clowns when Dean died by one. I realized that may have been deliberate. I dug into the story more and now I’m convinced it was. Then I came across some excellent meta that fit with the themes I was finding and opened up the series even more for me.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it. First, Sam’s journey.

Clowns pop up in s15 before the barn scene. In 15.01, which was written by Dabb, Sam is injured by a clown. Castiel is able to save Sam and heal his injury. The clown keeps coming after Sam, with Sam having fight scenes with the clown, while others attack the other ghosts. The clown is kicking the shit out of Sam again, and Castiel saves him once more. Sam is unable to fight off the clown on his own both times.

They run until they are able to escape outside a magical barrier. Sam turns to the clown and says, “shut up”.

This is literally Sam running from his fears. On top of that, this isn’t just any clown, but the ghost of John Wayne Gacy, from an episode also written by Dabb.

Dean: A serial killer clown. I mean, this is, like, the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you know, ‘cause you love serial killers, but – but you hate clowns.

Sam gets nervous and struggles with the lighter before he’s able to get rid of the clown, for now.

I believe this is a metaphor for hunting in general: it’s both the best of Sam’s life and also the worst. The clowns symbolize his relationship with Dean.

Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie was co-written by Dabb (see the pattern?). Sam’s fear of clowns was known since season 2. In season 7, Dabb explored where this fear came from.

On the surface, Sam’s fear is just because he found them creepy, but the episode explains that they actually come from Sam’s fear of being left behind by Dean.

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This episode comes directly after an episode where Sam worried that Dean would get himself killed

Sam: Look... Dean, the thing is, tonight... It almost got you killed. Now, I don't care how you deal. I really, really don't. But just don't – don't get killed. Dean: I'll do what I can. Sam: Well, what's that supposed to mean? Dean: It means I'll do what I can. All right? You can shut up about it.

Sam is dealing with Hallucifer at this moment, but Hallucifer doesn’t really scare him. Losing Dean does.

Sam has a conversation with an employee about greatest fears.

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Recognize the actress? She came back for s15 in 15.06. I don’t believe this was a coincidence. 15.06 featured Castiel helping a parent find their lost child in a season that features Castiel worried about losing Jack. Through his experience with her, Castiel confronts his fears and doubts and then returns to join in the fight against God. [I’ll touch on Castiel’s journey more in his chapter]

Sam’s greatest fear is losing Dean. There’s a lot in the series about how Sam felt lonely and abandoned for much of his childhood. A whole episode, Just My Imagination, centers around this. Sam hated when Dean went off on hunts without him.

source In The Chitters, Sam tells Dean how his fear of losing his family paralyzed him as child. It’s a story where an older brother dies and the younger brother never recovers from it until he’s able to lay him to rest (sound familiar???)

Sam: You know, whenever you and Dad used to leave me to go hunting, and I-and I wouldn’t hear from y’all for a while, I, um, I was always sure that some vamp or rugaru, or take your pick, I always figured one of them finally got ya. I tried to think what to do, you know, the next step to take. I was just lost. Dean: We came back, though, every time.

You might naturally think, “Wait a minute! Sam left Dean multiple times!” Honestly, this was something I had a huge issue with when watching through the show the first time. I didn’t understand Sam and hated him leaving Dean in s8. I was completely on Dean’s side at first. But, on multiple rewatches and talking to others, I’ve realized that when Sam left Dean, he was running from his fear. In this TV Guide interview, Jared perfectly sums up why Sam left in season 1; he couldn’t stand to see his family die. Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon along with a comic that explains why Sam left in detail. While the comic isn’t official canon, it shows Dabb’s thought process. In it, Sam sees his family as running towards a horrible end and can’t handle dealing with that.

Dean: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.

There are many more points in the series where we learn about Sam’s fear of Dean dying. This would be 3948573945 pages long if I wrote them all out, so I’m going to focus on the key moments that loop back to this ending, but there’s so much more there.

If you are struggling with this and need more, please let me know and I can do a deeper dive into that subject. We first see Sam’s inability to let Dean go in season 1 when Sam refuses to let Dean die in Faith.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? Sam: I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

Sam’s whole arc in s3 is him being unable to handle Dean dying. He wants to save Dean, but Dean won’t let himself be saved. This was what Gabriel was trying to teach him in Mystery Spot.

Trickster: This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.

This is how Ruby gets under Sam’s skin and what gets him to start working with her. Everything Sam did was to save Dean. In s4, Sam’s arc is about him sacrificing himself in order to save Dean. He’s gutted from being unable to save Dean. In 4.12, Sam decides to drink demon blood in order to save Dean

Dean: [says that they will die early] Sam: Maybe we'll be different, Dean. Dean: What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life. Sam: What if we could win?Dean: "Win"?Sam: If there was a way we could just...put an end to all of it.

When Sam breaks out of the panic room, he’s suicidal. He’s determined to save Dean with his life as the cost he’s willing to pay. He didn’t think he would survive killing Lilith. He was committing suicide in that moment. The reason why Sam is so willing to sacrifice himself in s5 is because he has low self esteem. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong. In Sam, Interrupted 5.11, also by Dabb, Sam has a breakdown under the weight of his guilt. He hates himself and he feels his rage is out of control. In season 6, we see soulless Sam and, unlike souled Sam, he has no rage. Yes, he’ll kill when necessary, but he’s not angry. It was Sam’s fear driving his rage. He felt out of control of his life and let it lead him down a dark path. In season 7, he sees Dean heading down a dark path and he feels helpless to stop it. He worries about dragging Dean down and tells Dean to let him go. But, at the same time, he’s developing coping techniques. He’s starting to face his fears.

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And then Dean disappears and Sam completely falls apart. Sam didn’t have a healthy relationship with Amelia. They were two broken people clinging to each other. Sam and Dean struggle to reconnect after their time apart. There’s a lot of text addressing the horror of a partner dying and people trying to escape from it.

Mrs Holmes: He could see the end of my days were at hand, and... He had lived centuries all alone, but I don't think he could bear the thought of life without me. That's why he drove off that bridge. You must think I'm a monster.

In Hunteri Heroica written by GUESS WHO!?!? Sam finally acknowledges that he was living in a dream world with Amelia. He was running from his past. We see a flash back with Sam pressing on his scar, which he did to help himself distinguish fantasy from reality.

The episode is about a man refusing to engage in reality and harming those around him. Sam has a big confrontation with him

Sam: Look, it can be nice living in a dream world. It can be great. I know that. And you can hide, and you can pretend... all the crap out there doesn't exist, but you can't do it forever because... eventually, whatever it is you're running from – it'll find you. [CASTIEL appears to be taking Sam’s words to heart.] It'll come along, and it'll punch you in the gut. And then... then you got to wake up, because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!

Likewise, when Sam was with Jessica, he wasn’t honest about himself. He was hiding from his family and his past. Running to avoid pain. Sam is avoidant in general. Not just in his relationship with Dean. When he talks with Rowena in 13.12 Various & Sundry Villains about his fears of Lucifer, he admits that he could talk about it with Dean, but he can’t bring himself to.

Sam: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind – behind whatever vessel. It… Yeah, still keeps me up at night. Rowena: How do you deal with it? Sam: I guess I don’t deal with it. Not really. I mean, I pushed it down and, um, the world kept almost ending, so I keep pushing it down, and I don’t know. [stammering] I really don’t talk about it, not even with Dean. I mean, I could. You know, he’d listen, but… That’s not something I really know how to share.

In 15.20, Sam’s past is front and center. Literally. I know a lot of people found the Winchester family portrait odd and upsetting, but it symbolizes something I’ll get to in a bit. Instead of trying to avoid his grief, Sam has moments where he lets it wash over him. He goes and sits in the car. He’s no longer avoidant. He’s no longer running away. He’s letting his grief move through him. He’s literally sitting with it.

Soulless Puppy pointed out that the characters emotional arcs is similar to DBT. Please look through their awesome meta here.

Personally, I see them as similar to the therapy I do called ACT. Both are forms of therapy where instead of fighting against them, you accept painful emotions and allow yourself to feel them. If you don’t do that work, then you can’t stop feeling them and your fears/ghosts will always haunt you. In Swan Song, Chuck tells us that “Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.” In 15.20, Sam initially didn’t want to let Dean go. He’s been refusing to do this since season 1. When he’s separated from Dean he lives a fake life or destroys himself/the world trying to get Dean back. There’s a moment in 15.20 where Sam looks at Dean’s guns. He wants to commit suicide, but he makes the choice to live. For the time in Sam’s life, he let Dean go and lived with his pain. He no longer ran from it. After Swan Song, Dean was unable to let Sam go. He wanted him back. After Carry On, Sam is able to do what Dean couldn’t do. He lives a life outside of Dean. What’s more, Sam has reconciled himself with his past and his family. It’s clumsy and I wish it were better shown, but having the family portrait and their parents in heaven isn’t meant to excuse the way Sam and Dean were raised. In order to move past the trauma of his relationship with his parents, Sam fully integrates them into his life. In Lebanon, Sam was able to confront and forgive his father. In doing so, he can also forgive himself. Mary asks for forgiveness too, and he grants it to her. He doesn’t forget what happened, but he’s able to move forward and leave the intergenerational cycle of violence. He’s able to raise his son, Dean, the way his brother should have been raised.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it.

I can see why people see Sam’s life after Dean as unhappy. I hated it so much because I saw it as horrible and sad the first time through. I had to sit with myself and my emotions first. I think it’s because we’ve been told by society that we have to get rid of our grief in order to be happy. The finale was showing us that it’s possible to do the opposite. [Personally I think it would’ve been better had they showed more overtly happy memories, but many of my friends saw this straight away] When I began therapy, one of the first things I learned was that there aren’t “negative” emotions. When working with our kids, we call them Big emotions. In DBT/ACT, all emotions are treated as normal and natural. Grief, anger, sadness, etc, these are all normal parts of the human existence. We don’t need to run from them in order to have happiness. We can live with them. As interstitial said in our chats, “you can't change the past, you can only change your relationship to it. To accept that your past contained both love and heartache, to miss it, but also know you can do better; that's actual recovery, as good as it gets.” As Soulless-Puppy explained to me, Sam lived in duality. Dean was dead, but Sam lived. Sam was happy, but he grieved. Dean was with him in the watch and the car and his son, but Dean also waited for him in heaven. I hated the finale the first time I saw it, then next watched it with my boyfriend who loved it. As we were watching together and discussing it, I realized that Dean’s death scene wasn’t just about him, but about the show itself.

Dean promising Sam that he will be with Sam in Sam’s heart is also the show promising us that they will never leave it. That’s why Alex kept posting “The end has no end.” Just as Sam carried Dean with him in his heart, we will carry the show with us. I hope this helps. It’s a terrible thing to feel upset about an ending and thinking of the show this way, recognizing these patterns, is bringing me peace. I still have issues with how it was written, but now that I see what they were doing, I wish all the more that they had the chance to do it right. Please share your thoughts and experiences. I love hearing different opinions. Next up, Dean. Then Castiel.

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yan-twst · 4 years

Note

Do remember the ask"dorm leaders s/o scared of them physical hurting them"well can you do it again, but this time only to find out why they're scared of being physical being hurt by them. Like their caretakers/parents were physical abusive to s/o and and their ex-lover was also physical abusive to them. What would they do with this new found information.Would the dorm leaders go seeking revenge on their s/o caretakers/parents and their ex-lover.

a/n: this is a pretty sensitive topic, so i'm going to try my best to write on it: it is NEVER my intention to romanticize these darker themes, but if anyone feels offended or hurt by this particular post please do reaxh out to me and i won't hesitate to edit or take it down. due to the nature of this text i will put it under a read more.

warnings: topics such as domestic abuse, child abuse, and things of that nature are mentioned here, along with general yandere topics and themes. mentions of torture , too! please be careful while reading if anything could potentially cause bad memories or emotional responses in you!

riddle rosehearts

he comes from an abusive household, even though he wouldn't admit it (and probably doesn't realize it). while his mother never used much physical punishment, he is no stranger to getting yelled at and having all his comforts taken away for the smallest mistake

when he realizes his darling came from a similar background, he'd probably take a cold hard look at himself: is he... becoming like his mother? the thought is terrifying to him- he doesn't want to be like that, he doesn't want his darling to fear him like he did his mother

although the realization would lead to him being more lenient and less punishing, he is still a toxic lover. sure, he isn't yelling at his darling for breaking rule #163- but he is still guilt-trippy, still a perfectionist deep down. it's a small improvement, though

even though he would like nothing more than to destroy those who dared hurt his darling, he'd hesitate. he knows he'd lose it if someone were to hurt his mother, even after all she put him through; what if his darling feels the same way about the people who hurt them in the past...? he feels like he shouldn't ask such a crass question, so he'll limit himself to promising to protect his darling

in short, while he is enraged at those who hurt his darling in the past, he believes they're safe now: he would never let such harm befall them again... it's another excuse to why he keeps them locked up. but if his darling's past tormentors ever as much as tried to poke their heads back into their life, it's off with their heads- and perhaps lives, if riddle can so so.

leona kingscholar

he's immediately deeply angry when his darling admits part of their fear of him comes from their past experience. he cannot stand it- his darling should only be scared of him, respect him; the fact other people even dared try to get his darling to hurt in the past makes him red with rage.

he'll absolutely track down his darling's past tormentors. does he care if his darling is scared of him? no. does it piss him off that they're scared of him because of other people? god- it makes his blood sizzle. don't mistake his rage with him being a knight in shining armour for his beloved- although he wouldn't be opposed to his darling seeing it like that

he'll kill them in cold blood, with his bare hands. this isn't a job he can make someone else do: it has to be him. he may even make his darling watch as he tears their previous tormentors to shreds. it's horribly gruesome, and it'll certainly scar his darling, but he doesn't care. if they're going to fear him, then fear only him.

azul ashengrotto

he instantly softens up with his darling when they admit this. he may not have been abused in his past, but the scars of the bullying and teasing in his formative years still weigh down heavily on him

he'll comfort his darling as he wished someone had comforted him- but this is also a good way for him to become even clingier and more obsessive... sure, he isn't being harsh or mean, but his darling is still very much a prisoner to him

he'd absolutely try to get revenge on those who wronged his darling, but he might not kill them. instead, he'll torture them (with the twin's help, of course!) until they apologise in tears to his darling- beg for mercy to them, cry- before he takes them away to never be seen.

in reality, this probably doesn't help his darling's trauma in a bit, bur for him, it's cathartic. he feels like he's wiped a dark period of his darling's life clean- aren't they happy? aren't they grateful?

kalim al-asim

he gasps and immediately holds his darling into a hug when they admit how their past was. so that was why- why despite all his attempts and gifts, they remained scared...?

kalim cannot comprehend how anyone could ever hurt his darling. they're the most beautiful, kindest and gentlest soul on earth: who would dare think of bringing harm upon them?! the thought makes him seeth with anger

he'll swear that he won't ever allow such a thing to happen again. after all, he's already protecting them (by keeping them locked in, always making jamil check up on them); he'll just double his efforts. he'll have extensive background checks on every single servant who attends his beloved just to make sure they have ZERO history of violence

it isn't hard for such a rich man with connections everywhere to find the people who hurt his darling in the past. it's also not hard to pay for their deaths: every single one of them is quietly found dead after mysteriously going missing... he won't say what he did to his darling, simply reassuring them they're safe now

vil schoenheit

do people have no shame?! he's incredibly shaken and stirred when his darling finally admits the source of their fears. people are beasts- he knows this, and that's why he keeps his darling close at all times, but to think they'd already managed to hurt them before he even knew them...!

he has no problem sending his legions of fans against anyone who wronged his darling. after all, he's seamlessly introduced his beloved as part of his image: his fans adore his darling! he's presented them as a weak, meek and adorable doll, the source of his happiness. if he as much as mentioned someone had wronged them... the fury would be immediate and direct

although vil is guilty of tearing down his darling's self esteem whenever they do something he dislikes, he'll act as if he'd never done that. suddenly he brings up how lucky his darling is to have him, who will bring justice to them- he who will make those who wronged them regret being born, he who loves them so much to go through all of this

and if one day, those past tormentors quietly day due to a scentless, tasteless, untraceable poison...? well, isn't that just a wild coincidence!

idia shroud

he cannot believe such scum exists. even he- the lowest of the low, a disgusting freak who kidnapped his darling- wouldn't dare to hurt them for the sake of just causing pain!

he immediately regrets every single physical punishment he ever gave, although it's such a rare occasion and usually something even lesser than a slap. no wonder his darling was scared! he was just a monster, right? just was bad as the others, right?!

he'll feel the need to make it up to his darling, and he can't think of any other way than revenge. if he gets rid of those who hurt his darling, can his actions be forgiven? he prays they can

his darling's past tormentors better be ready for hell- what starts as merely hacking into their devices becomes a one-man lead spionage campaign, with blakmail slowly and surely driving them up a wall. idia will show no pity- he has to make them pay. he has to, so he may one day be forgiven...

malleus draconia

it's not just men's nature that makes them hurt each other, and he knows this, but even still he cannot help but want to curse all mankind when his darling finally tells him about their past experiences

he doesn't care about reasons or circumstances- all he knows is that those people hurt his darling. all dragons are protective of their treasure, and to think of others laying their filthy hands to strike his most beloved... he can feel fire burning in his mouth at the mere thought

he'll swear to never lay a hand on his beloved- but don't be fooled, this doesn't mean that the relationship will improve. physical punishments are replaced with the torture of isolation, of taking away all the comforts he's given his darling until they beg for him

and as for his darling's tormentors... to them, after malleus learns of their actions, death would be nothing short of a blessing. the draconian man wouldn't feel a shred of pity in torturing them, breaking their fragile human bodies time and tima again. he has no pity for anyone who hurts his beloved

#twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia

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gladly-be-the-good · 4 years

Text

"Hi I'm Boyd, a definitely real boy! Do you want to see the lab?" Danny raised an eyebrow as his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Suuure." Jazz smiled widely at the little boy bot and said, enthusiastically,

"We'd love to!" Boyd reached out for their hands. Jazz took his immediately while Danny shoved his hands in his pockets. Boyd didn't seem too discouraged, so Gyro wouldn't eject the moody teen from his lab, yet.

As soon as they were in another room Boyd started taking.

"This is where Dr. Gearlose first thought up the Gizmoduck armor! He made it as a tool to help around the lab, but then Dr- um, I mean, someone totally random that I definitely don't know and love, nailed it, wanted to help people all over duckburg, and beyond!"

"So he's a good person then? Not someone who would be upset with another superhero reaching out to him?" Jazz asked.

This little boy was clearly incapable of subterfuge, so his goodness was genuine. She could trust him as much as she could trust any other sweet ten year old.

"Oh yes! He loves when he gets to work with other heroes! He needs breaks sometimes and is happy for any help he can get."

"Is he someone that would approve of, I don't know, magic or ghosts or underaged superheroes?" Boyd smiled at her, taking her words at face value even as Danny, who had been listening carefully, shot them both incredulous looks.

"You've never met Mr. McDuck before have you? He employs Gizmoduck and he has a ghost butler! And a niece that used to be a spirit and is entirely magic. We even have an intern here who is.... I don't actually know, but he's really nice too! And as far as thinking kids can't be heroes, he wanted me to be one! And he works with Darkwing who has a sidekick that's twelve. Here at McDuck enterprises, we follow rule 53 in the Junior woodchuck guidebook! Greet the unknown with an open mind and an open heart."

"Wow. You people are basically perfect aren't you?" Danny asked sarcastically. He didn't like where Jazz was going with this and he really didn't need a little kid, who obviously couldn't lie to save his life, knowing a secret that would get Danny killed. Or, more killed, at least.

"Oh no, nothing is perfect. Even machines are flawed."

"So Boyd, tell me about Dr. Gearlose?" Jazz interrupted, a nervous lilt in her voice.

"Dr. Gearlose is amazing!" Boyd exclaimed, spinning in a circle with his arms above his head. Danny swore he saw a rainbow in the background. "It's a secret, so don't tell him please, but I like to call him Dr. Dad."

"He's your dad?"

"Well I don't exactly have a dad, but he was the one who created me so- I mean, in the way that all kids, are, created, dude?" Little bulb smacked his head, the sound of metal hitting glass was the only sound in the room as Jazz and Boyd both looked nervously at Danny, though Boyd was looking at Jazz too.

Poor, sleep deprived Danny, who had grown up with awkward Tucker as a best friend, just blinked slowly and said,

"So, are we gonna learn about any of the science stuff here or just your family?"

"Oh! Yes! Those two things are definitely separate things! Over here we have, uh, no that's for Gizmoduck, but this upgrade is-! Oh, no, that's for me, me phone! Yup. Me phone. Ha ha hahahaha. I'm a definitely real boy!!" The kid started shaking and looked so stressed.

Jazz big sister mode: activated.

"Boyd, come here." He ran to her without hesitation. She hugged him and said, "I know you're a robot-"

"He's a what?!"

"And we don't care. Do we Danny?" Jazz emphasized her messing with a sharp glare. Danny raised his hands in submission.

"Nope. Totally cool with the robot boy. I'm just surprised."

"How? How are you surprised by this? When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

"Oh come on, Tucker pretended he was secretly a robot for nine months when we were kids."

"You, aren't scared?" Jazz cooed and held Boyd tighter.

"How could anyone be scared of someone so sweet?!"

"A lot of people used to think I was bad, a lot of people still do. Even Dr. Gearlose was worried I was going to hurt people, that that's all I could do." This was a story Danny knew all too well. He looked away and scuffed his shoe against the floor.

"So, what changed?"

"I don't know, actually. One second my programming is being overwritten to terrorise the world, the next I'm being held." Danny moved his hands out of his pockets so he could cross his arms tightly against his chest.

"And you've never worried about, I mean, the guy's a scientist, robotics especially, aren't you worried he'll open you up one day to, to see what's inside? Or break you down for spare parts?' Boyd rubbed his chin.

"I, never thought about that before. I don't think he would, because he loves me. But maybe..." Boyd's chin started to wobble. "What, what If I disappoint him? What if I hurt somebody on accident and I'm too dangerous to be online anymore!?" Little bulb burned a bright red and shook a first at Danny.

"Woah, sorry, just um, stop that? Please? I'm sure your dad loves you too much to ever turn you off okay?" Boyd wiped at his eyes, even though he couldn't cry, and said, desperation and fear in his voice,

"I'll go ask him!" He jumped out of Jazz's arms and ran to the conference room.

"Boyd!"

When they burst into the room, Scrooge McDuck was standing on the table waving his cane in the air.

"Now see here you huanter hunting hooligans-!"

"Dr. Gearlose!" Gyro, the only person in the room that had still been sitting, bolted to his feet and caught Boyd as he jumped into his arms. Gyro instinctively cradled the boy bot and glared at the other kids. Boyd was literally vibrating. Fenton, who was already standing, watched with worried eyes. This was going to end badly.

"You. What did you do to Boyd?" He growled. Little bulb hopped from the chair to the table to Boyd and pat his little brother's head.

"Our kids didn't do anything! We've raised them to be fine upstanding citizens!" Maddy insisted.

"That's right! They know how dangerous ghosts are, don't you kids?" Danny felt all the emotions, guilt, regret, bitterness, jealousy, fear, resentment, building inside of him. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for him to be angry because Boyd had parents who loved him no matter what. It also wasn't fair that Danny didn't. He was so tired of always being scared to go home. Of having to run away from his parents as they shot to kill or capture. If they knew what he was, Danny didn't doubt for a moment that the only reason they'd want him alive would be to dissect him. The fact that Jazz had been asking questions about the heroes here proved that she knew the same thing.

"In my experience," Danny said, voice carefully controlled, "ghosts are very dangerous." His parents looked over at the table of angry strangers victoriously. It was the proudest they'd seemed of Danny in a long time. Seeing Boyd, burying his face in his Dr Dad's chest, he felt the words coming out, and with them all the pain and resentment he'd felt for so long, all before he could try to stop it. "But so are people. In my experience."

"Danny, what are you saying?"

"And you don't just throw away a person because they cause you trouble!" He continued. Looking Boyd directly in the eyes as the younger boy had turned his head. "You don't break them down into usable parts, or molecules. Because they feel things and want things and love things! They're just like anyone else!"

"Danny, what has gotten into you?!" Danny walked right up to Boyd and said softly,

"The only people who don't believe that, they," Danny swallowed past the lump in his throat and the realization that came with saying the truth out loud. "They don't really love you." Boyd sniffed and held out a fist. Danny smirked wryly and bumped it with his own.

"What are you talking about? Ghosts don't have feelings, you know this."

"Do we though? Do we even know why they haunt people? Even if they are just, just bad, we don't have to tear them apart." He implored. This was the first time he'd contradicted his parents. This was the closest he would ever get to asking if they could really love him, spooky bits and all.

They weren't even looking at him anymore, they were holding at each other.

"He gets this from you, you know." Jack said, arms crossed.

"What?!"

"Well we Fentons sure don't have that kind of open mindedness."

"I'll say! Who's idea is it out Fenton before everything we own?!" Jack, clearly offended, raised his voice.

"It's called branding! It was your idea to bring the kids with us anyway! It'll be good for them Jack, they'll experience different cultures. Look at what cultural diversity did! It poisoned our impressionable son's mind against ghost hunting!"

"Well excuse me for wanting our children to be educated!"

Danny sighed and his shoulders slumped. His courage died inside of him.

"I was only kidding. Haha. Let's go back to Amity and live in ignorance for the rest of our lives." Jack's face lit up.

"Atta boy!"

"Honestly Jack, he's clearly lying."

"Danny wouldn't do that, we raised him better than to lie, at least to his old man."

"Kids, RV, now. Jack, we'll be discussing this later." She turned back to the scientists and said, professionally, "Thank you for your time, sorry it was a waste for us both." Boyd waved hesitantly, still sniffing,

"Bye Jazz, by Danny." Danny offered a single wave of his hands before slumping it the door. Jazz waited a moment after her parents were gone too. She hurried and took the card she'd made for just this purpose and handed it quickly to Boyd.

"See you soon." She whispered. She was almost at the door when Jack poked his head back in.

"Come on Jazz, we don't need these ghost-lovers."

"Coming dad." Just like that the Fenton family was gone. Scrooge, still standing on top of the table, summed up the feelings of the group pretty well.

"What in dismal downs just happened here?!"

#ducktales #danny phantom #danny fenton #darkwing duck #gizmoduck #crossover #scrooge mcduck #Boyd #jazz fenton #jack fenton #maddy fenton #fenton cracshell cabrera #dr dad #Manny the man horse #gyro Gearlose

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shsl-otaku · 4 years

Text

Where Greed Goes, Despair Follows: Chp. 16

Y/N: Raven Sin of Despair

Pairing: Ban & Y/N

Anime: Seven Deadly Sins

Genre: Adventure, Romance

Warnings: slight gore

Tag List: @asgleo16 @yuri-2018 @vialuciferscage @commanderawkward @chidayasays @misfitgirlwrites @amberfoxcosplay @catlover7722 @shiggi-trash @supremetodoroki @happynoodle @remikay313 @milkysamu @kageyamis @yogurthdecoco @alysplxnet

•••

You laughed again, tightening your hold on Guila’s throat.

"You know, Sister," you said, your voice replaced by the voice of a little boy. "People like you really piss me off." Guila whimpered. You laughed. "You really thought that you could defeat the Eight Deadly Sins?" You deadpanned, the aura around you going cold. "Pathetic."

King stared at you in shock. He turned to Meliodas, a bead of sweat running down his face. "Has she always been like this?" He asked.

"I don’t think so," Meliodas replied, tilting his head. "She would always get a bit sadistic, but she's never looked like this before."

"She did when she came to get me at the prison," Ban cut it, folding his arms over his chest. "Someone really pissed her off when she was on the way. Besides, she’s been acting weird all morning." He glared at King, red eyes glaring harshly. "Not like you would notice." King looked away, a look of guilt on his face.

You yawned loudly, causing the Sins to look at you. You looked at Guila with a bored expression, your hand still wrapped around her throat.

"You’re boring," you hissed at her. You smiled and dug your nails into her throat, causing her to let out a strangled cry. "I don’t suggest you underestimate us again. But then again, Ì̶͇͖͝ ̴̰̬͂̾d̴̫͍̽͝o̷̙̹͈͘u̸̙̿b̸̳͇̃͛̊t̸̲̭͕͆͆̌ ̷̟̲͇̅͠y̸̢̰̎͝͠ǫ̷̦͐̂̀ͅṵ̵̮̜̋̒͘'̷̤͈̳̅l̷̩̍̄̉l̸̡̹̣̾̚ ̴̡̮̑̓̈h̸͉̣̐͒͜a̷̹̎v̷̹̱̔̀ė̶̡̮͝ ̸̛͇͒a̴̧͕̻͒͠͝n̴̡̠̂̌ö̵̢̙̓t̴̡̻̃̎h̷̜̳́͒̉͜ė̶͍̂ͅr̵̜̖̎ ̷͉̻̓̔͆o̷̹̩͔̿̀p̶̮͓̱̀͘p̸̲̝͇̄̈ŏ̴͍̟̪̀r̷̼̀̔̓t̷͖̿̑̈́ư̶̺̒ͅń̴̼̊̄i̶̢̨̬͊͠t̵̛̠͈̣́̀ỷ̴̼̜̒͑.̵̼͈̹̋̈́͌"

Guila’s face froze in fear, sweat running down her face. She tried desperately to move, but you still had her petrified.

You walked to her front to face her, your hand still wrapped around her throat. You smiled terrifyingly at Guila. She felt like she couldn't breathe. The other Sins could only watch from below, waiting nervously for your next move.

You laughed softly, the laugh being your own. You then brought your hands to the top of her head. She could only look into your eyes, helplessly. You smiled, your eyes gleaming insanely.

"Goodbye, Guila," you said, grinning. You then brought your fingers into her skull, and ripped her in half, blood splattering all over you.

Diane and King gasped, watching as you calmly tore Guila in half. Ban’s eyes widened. You turned to look at them, her blood dripping off of you.

"What?" You asked, raising a brow. "It’s not like she was here physically. It’ll only cause her a few nightmares. No big deal."

"'No big deal?'" King shouted, clearly shaken. "You just tore that Holy Knight apart!"

"Shut up," you deadpanned, causing King to close his mouth.

"Y/N, you might hurt his feelings," Diane said, looking at King with a concerned expression.

"That isn't my problem," you said coldly, glaring at Diane. You turned away, hair still floating. "Let's get out of here."

"How were you able to get here?" Meliodas asked. You froze, not daring to turn around.

"Later," you said. "Not here. Not with him around." King looked at the ground, ashamed. You willed yourself to leave, opening your eyes to see that you were now in the real world.

You looked and saw Guila on the ground, unconscious. She was breathing, but now had the blood dripping from her head. You unsheathed your dagger.

"What are you doing?" Meliodas asked, the others appearing with him. You turned around and furrowed your brows in annoyance.

"What does it look like?" You asked. Your eye gleamed red. "I’m going to kill her."

Ban smirked and walked next to you, cracking his knuckles. "I agree with Shortie here. Let’s kill her while the killing’s good." You grinned at him.

"Don’t be barbaric," King interrupted. "I’ll petrify her."

You turned to face him, clearly pissed off. "I don’t think you have the right to tell me who I can or can’t kill," you snapped. King clamped his mouth shut and looked away. Ban smirked, letting out a low chuckle.

"Nah, let me handle this," Meliodas cut in. You turned to glare at him.

"I need to take out my anger on someone. I might as well take it out on her crazy ass and get rid of one pain, or you risk me snapping at one of you. It’s your choice," you said.

"I’ll help you," Ban said. You turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. "What?" He asked. "I’m the only other person that’s immortal here. And I’m not letting you take out this anger on yourself."

You stared at him, seeing if he’d waver or back down under your gaze. He stared back at you, your red eyes almost matching. You sighed and folded your arms over your chest. "Fine," you grumbled. "I won’t kill her. This time."

"Okay," Meliodas said, smiling mischievously.

•••

You sat on a log next to Ban, staring at the campfire. Hawk’s mom took you guys to a hill that was at a safe distance from the abandoned village. You took a shower and changed into a flowing, long-sleeved f/c top, baggy beige pants, and sandals.

The other Sins chatted and ate around you. You sighed as the earlier events started catching up to you. Your nightmare. Your breakdown. The memories of your parents.

Your breathing started to get uneven.

A large hand was suddenly placed on top of yours. You looked up in shock to see Ban looking at you, his hand on yours.

"What happened?" he asked. "You’ve been acting strange all day. It’s not like you."

Your eyes faltered from his, only to widen when you realized something. "You’re shirtless again?" You asked, blushing slightly.

Ban sighed and rolled his eyes. "That Holy Knight lady ruined my jacket. And I really liked it too."

You laughed, shaking your head. "Screw her." Ban let out a laugh.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" He repeated, looking at you in the eyes. You fought the urge to avert your eyes.

"I had a nightmare last night," you whispered, heart feeling heavy. "It was terrifying. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. So I just stayed awake, and just... cried.

"And then with King... He... Let’s just say, he did something that broke my trust in him." You looked away, only to feel Ban rub his thumb on top of your hand. You took a deep breath and looked back at Ban.

"Then, to get to the Necropolis, I had to go through past memories of my p-parents," you said, staring down at the log with wide eyes. Ban’s eyes softened in concern at the haunted look in your eyes. "I don’t want to talk about it too much," you said. You looked back up at him. "I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. You didn’t deserve that."

"Don’t worry about it," Ban said. "At least we’re all fine now, right?" Your eyes flickered up to meet King’s, and the gleam in your eyes instantly hardened. King averted his eyes and looked back at Diane. You sighed.

Ban poked you in the middle of your forehead. "Hey." You looked back up at him. "Don’t worry about King. He may be one of us, but you don’t have to forgive him yet. He has to earn that. Don't worry about it, okay?" You nodded, letting a small smile come to your face.

You took your hand from underneath Ban’s and swatted his shoulder, smirking. "If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d have gone soft."

Ban gave you a fake smile and flicked your forehead. "Idiot! You’re the soft one." The smile was then replaced with a much more sincere one. He threw his head back and laughed, the sound of it causing your heart to flutter.

He looked back down at you and smiled. His eyes then lit up as if he remembered something. He fished his hand into his pocket and pulled out a flower that had white petals with lavender accents, a bright yellow center, and short yellow-green vines dangling from it.

Your eyes widened, taking in how beautiful it looked. You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. He looked at the flower and smiled.

"From Elaine," he said, smiling at it. Your heart throbbed at the sight of him being so happy because of another person, but it fluttered at seeing him being so happy. Suddenly, he held it out to you, as if offering it to you.

"W-What?!" You said, putting your hands up. "I can’t take it! It’s from Elaine, she gave it to you—!"

"She told me to give it to you," Ban cut in, smiling softly. "It’s from the Forest."

You stared at the flower, your mouth hanging open. "I-I don’t know what to say."

"You don’t have to say anything, idiot," Ban said, laughing. He tucked the flower by your right ear, its vines growing so that it clung onto strands of your hair to keep it from falling. "There," he said, admiring the flower in your hair. You could only stare at him in awe.

You looked at him, your eyes shining in concern. "What happened in there with Elaine?"

Ban sighed and looked up at the sky. "She told me to let go," he said. "It’s not that hard, but at the same time, it’s not that simple. I don’t know. I will bring her back though. I at least owe her that."

You looked at him. "You’ll decide if you still love her when you resurrect her?" You asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Ban said, placing his hand on his forehead. "Geez, all this thinking is making my head hurt."

"Well I didn’t even know you could think until you just said that," you said, smirking at him. Ban turned to look at you, his eyes wide.

"Oh you’ll pay for that," he said, reaching over to grab you. You quickly sprang up and started running around the campfire, screaming and laughing as Ban yelled, chasing after you.

#ban x reader #ban #ban fox sin of greed #sds ban #sds #sds x reader #seven deadly sins #seven deadly sins x reader #nanatsu no taizai #meliodas #elizabeth liones #diane #harlequin #hawk captain of the scraps disposal

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andreils-keys · 4 years

Text

kay so ive been taking prompts from my instagram and

why would you tell me not to kill one and if i do to bring him back please you’re taking all the joy out of writing >:(

anyways lets get into it <3 (tw: small mention of domestic abuse)

(disclaimer yes i am a kandreil shipper :))

andrew is cursed in the same way blue was sort of where if he tells someone that he loves them they’ll die (yes i changed it a bit)

but instead of doing the whole 'you're cursed zap magic' thing (bc i don't think it'd fit very well in the aftgverse) im gonna try something else

andrew had some pretty shitty foster homes when he was young

but the worst one was a small house by a family-owned ice cream shop

he remembers the ice cream shop very vividly. it was where he went when his foster mother was out working or drinking. it was where he went to feel safe.

he was pretty young, maybe 4 ? 5 ? impressionable. in that stage where santa claus and the boogie man were real, where hiding under a blanket protected you from nightmares. (he learned pretty quickly that hiding under the blanket did not protect you from anything.

he was bashed and battered with fists and words, words that cursed his very being and proclaimed that to love him was to die.

he was so young

he was only a child

and he did what children do best

he believed

there was a time when he doubted

another foster parent, a run down house made beautiful with love and mismatched furniture

the road to healing is rocky and dangerous, but easier to traverse when you have someone behind you

finally, he let himself love

he let his foster mother in, little by little, and he thought: maybe im not a curse

and he said: i love you

the day after, she died in a car crash

the car brutalized

her body brutalized

his heart brutalized

coincidence? he says out loud at the entrance of another foster home. because it needs to be said. because lies always become crystal clear when said out loud.

bc of this he's never directly expressed love for anyone and he tends to distance himself from people just to make sure there's 0 risk of him causing someone's death

but if he does care for someone he shows this through actions (no i love yous because that's what he believes caused his foster mothers death)

he's always had people he's cared about, people he's wanted to protect and keep safe

but ever since the car crash, hes never had anyone hes wanted to say i love you to

until

[enter kevin day]

the first person that consumed him was kevin, the boy that sought him out in high school with desperation in his eyes, raving about a sport that had made andrews days in juvie a little more bearable.

the man that always appeared on television with a cardboard smile stamped onto his face, always a step behind riko moriyama, always hiding in his shadow.

the man that inexplicably made yet another appearance in andrews life, this time with a shattered hand and a plea for help.

the man that pushed and pulled andrew just enough to get him through another day, another week.

and then neil, so different from kevin and yet so alike, as sudden as a gunshot, as tantalizing as death.

the boy that's as invested in riko and kevin as andrew is.

the boy that is impenetrable and distrusting, the boy that lets no one in.

at first andrew thinks he's safe. as long as neil doesn't let anyone in, that means andrew won't have to let him in. and kill him.

aha sike. turns out neil is the trusting-no-one-but-andrew-minyard-and-kevin-day type

the three of them form a twisted complicated pyramid; each side leaning against the other two. immovable. strong. inseparable, unless andrew deliberately pushes himself away when the feeling ballooning in his chest is too much.

(although he will always get pulled back in. the gravity of neil and kevin is too strong for andrew to stay away.)

he promises to protect them because that's what he does for the people he cares about.

but falling in love is a whole other ball game.

andrew is so afraid.

afraid to love them, afraid to let them in.

he knows he can't allow it; every time he thinks of how much he feels for them, he remembers the car, the shattered windows, the pieces of glass tipped with blood.

but andrew is only human.

even if he tells himself not to fall in love, the heart and body tend to ignore the mind.

he let’s himself be selfish

the hard press of kevin's lips against his, the gentle tug of neils fingers threaded through his hair, a hand clamped against neils neck and the other gripping kevin's arm.

that is all andrew allows

he doesn't mind if kevin and neil go gallivanting off somewhere on their own (s a f e l y; if those idiots get taken by the yakuza it would be extremely inconvenient for andrew)((andrew: dammit now i have to save them from the mafia nicky: you don't have t- andrew: no im gonna)), even if it prods unpleasantly at a sensitive point in his heart. if they're happy, hes happy.

(well, not quite happy. satisfied is the proper word. and he supposes that's the most he can ask for.)

he doesn't tell them about the nightmares. the dreams of fire and blood and twisted metal, of fists and a curse and a small, dark room. more often than not neil will wake to find andrew sliding out of his bunk and going to the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream.

neil won't pry, but he'll wake kevin and they'll join andrew in the kitchen, standing on the other side of the counter from andrew with their shoulders pressed together, a reminder to each other and andrew that they are there for each other.

and then neil disappears. like a dream. like smoke.

andrew took his eyes off neil for one second, and neil vanished in the crowd of angry fans.

they search and search but neil is gone.

all they find is neils exy racket lying on the ground in pieces, broken from the stampede of fans.

andrew whispers, the words dredged from a desperate, vulnerable place inside him: i love you. neil, i love you. come back to me. come back to kevin. come back to us.

the next day, the fbi tells them that they found neils gym bag. it was covered with tire tracks and spattered with blood.

they couldn’t find neil.

and the pyramid falls.

the grief and guilt and heartbreak andrew feels is unparalleled. never has he felt so broken. never has he felt so dirty. he did this. he did this.

kevin insists neil is still alive. lost and floating, but alive

but andrew knows better.

his nightmares get worse. sprinkled in with the mauled car and heavy fists is a shattered exy stick, a gym bag dripping blood, an unreachable figure with red hair and a slash of a smile.

andrew spirals.

he refuses to speak to anyone. even kevin. he'll stay with kevin and press his palm into the side of kevin's neck, his pulse grounding andrew and keeping him in the here and now, but he will not speak.

cabeswater brought gansey back right and i feel like the one closest to magic would be renee (thank you neils jortventures fairy magic huzzah) except she doesn't use magic.

so remember how she was affiliated with a gang when she was young

there was a member of the gang that continued to reach out to her, especially once they escaped from the gang a little after renee did

renee did respond to their messages, but she tried not to initiate conversation because they were part of her old life and she was living and loving her new one.

essentially she was nice enough not to cut them out completely.

unfortunately the kid got caught up in another gang that was closely associated with the butcher of baltimore

when nathan dies they text renee about how their gang is in pieces because the butcher is dead.

renee isnt there to receive the message right away (she and andrew were sparring, as they were keen to do now that neil was gone and andrew was out of sorts) and kevin is the one to catch the word butcher when the notification pops up

he scrambles for renees phone and sees: the butcher is dead.

he is so relieved because the butcher, the man kevin always had to fear and avoid, is dead

and then he starts to think

neil’s father was the butcher. does this have something to do with neil? was the butcher the one that took neil? if the butcher is dead, does that mean neil is still alive?

it’s a bit of a stretch, but kevin is willing to believe anything if it means that neil is alive

he tells andrew

he doesn't expect andrew to do anything but he still wants to tell him, just so that andrew will know, just so that kevin himself can taste the words.

kevin asks renee if they can reach out and she's like wtf y'all doing going through my phone but she understands how hard it hit them, andrew especially, and if it'll help them she'll go along

they meet up with the kid

renee seems nice enough, but andrew can tell how strained she is by the way she keeps cracking her knuckles one by one

they get the info from the kid about a red haired blue eyed cut up burned kid

kevin is distraught about the cut up burned part

andrew is close to vomiting from a whirlwind of relief (they never said he was dead) and denial and fear for neil

he refuses to get his hopes up; he said the cursed words. he saw the blood on neils’s gym bag. he saw the shattered exy stick. (or was that a dream? his nightmares and reality are so tightly interwoven he can hardly tell what's real)

the kid warns kevin and andrew that the last time they saw neil was in the basement and that the probablity of him still being there is relatively low

kevin makes a sort of impatient gesture at the kid and they bring kevin and andrew to the house (renee stays behind; she made a lame excuse about needing to make a phone call but she just wanted to give them space, either to reunite with neil or grieve their loss a second time)

from the outside, it’s a nice looking house and it doesn’t look threatening in the least, but andrew knows how deceiving appearances can be

once they go inside everything is in shambles. the couch overturned, the tv screen cracked in multiple places, ceiling plaster and pieces of porcelain all over the counters and dining table

the kid points them to the basement

kevin is the first to go down

andrew is surprised mainly because kevin is usually always so careful

andrew follows more warily, afraid to find nothing, afraid to find neil; afraid to have his heart broken all over again, afraid of the prospect that he has wasted his entire life living a lie.

he reaches the basement to find kevin wrapped around a small beat up, bruised, burnt, and shivering lump.

neil is hurt and bloody, and it drives a stake through andrew’s heart, but the fact that neil is breathing and alive alive alive causes a different kind of pain, the unique pain of relief and sorrow and love swirled together.

kevin is stroking neils hair and very obviously trying not to have a panic attack and andrew goes to them

sits down

both kevin and neil look up at him, and andrew watches as some of the fear and pain in their eyes fades.

he can feel the words bubbling up and he wants to say them, to scream them, but they are stuck inside his throat, twisted around his tongue.

it is a language andrew has taught himself to unlearn.

the road to healing is rocky and dangerous, but easier to traverse when you have someone behind you

it’s even easier when you have two people behind you, people who have seen what you have seen, people who make an effort to understand you.

andrew eventually does say it.

the words, no longer cursed, are still clumsy and fall in a messy jumble at his feet

but there they are, light as a cloud, heavy as a storm:

i love you

#aftg #all for the game #aftg hc #aftg headcanon #aftg headcanons #kandreil #kandreil hc #trc #bluesey #this wasnt supposed to be angst #and then it turned into kandreil angst #and honestly im not complaining

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novannna · 4 years

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I Dare You

based on a pin I saw on pinterest where i use a song and write a story sing every single word. I used I Dare You by Bea Miller to write this fic.

here's the song (:

It takes place mid supernova, when Nova has Danna caught in a jar. She struggles with her guilt for trapping Danna, and questions her loyalties to the Anarchists. This was a bitch to write bc trying to fit lyrics in order is a pain, so please leave likes and reblog!

Wc: 3440

Nova rubbed her eyes, collapsing onto the bed in her and Honey’s room. She groaned, kicked off her shoes and fell backward.

She was so fucking tired of the anarchists. She knew that they had done so much for her, but they expected too much. And she was exhausted. They wanted her to keep the charade up with the Renegades.

And she hated it. She hated having to pretend to love Adrian. She hated having to spend every single second of her day with Adrian, Oscar, and Ruby, getting as close as she could when, in the end she knew she would betray them.

And that was going to make her feel miserable. Even more miserable then she already was.

A flutter of black and orange caught her eye, and Nova pulled herself up.

In her moment of self pitying, she had completely forgotten about her butterfly friend.

That was another thing weighing heavy on her consciousness.

She walked over to the vanity, and picked up the small jar.

“I can remember a time when I was so afraid,” she said to Danna, “maybe the first time I ever felt real, true fear. A man entered my apartment. He killed my mom and dad right in front of me. He killed my sister,” she said with a small sob. “I couldn’t save her. But maybe… maybe if I had tried harder I could have. That was the first time I felt fear. When I went to a place even my shadow wouldn’t follow me.”

Nova slumped down to the floor, and cradled the jar to her chest. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this.” Nova groaned. “I’m a fucking mess. But I feel like I can talk to you. Is that weird?” She laughed, and shook her head. “I don’t even know if you can hear me.” She looked at the butterfly. It was still for the first time in days. It seemed as if it was looking straight at Nova. She groaned again. “I’m sick of being a tool. I’m sick of being just another step in my uncle’s plan. But they are my family, and I have to help. Don’t I?”

Danna barreled into the wall, then flapped her wings adamantly.

Nova breathed in deeply. “I’m so sorry Danna. I can’t imagine what it must be like in there for you. I- I would hate it. I’m sorry for being an anarchist. I know you wanted to believe in me.”

“Nova!” Honey’s shrill voice yelled. “Get your ass down here! We need you!”

Nova grimaced. “I guess I’m picking up my sword. Thanks for listening, Danna. You actually helped me a lot.” She set the jar back on the vanity, and scattered a few pins over it, making it look like nothing had been disturbed.

And she was struck by an urge to shatter the jar. Let all the pieces scatter, and let Danna free. Then Danna could go tell the Renegades.

And Nova could stop pretending.

She could go back to the person she was before. Before she met Adrian, and Oscar, and Ruby. Before she met Danna.

---

“Nova sweetie, what took so long?” Honey asked. She dipped her finger into a jar of honey, and lazily stirred it around.

Nova ignored her, and sat down around the table. “I thought we were done. What else do you need?” She was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. She couldn’t handle Honey and the others right now.

“So snappy,” Honey sniffed. “I thought you wanted to get back at the renegades for killing your family.

“I- of course I do!” Nova said, annoyed.

“Well you're certainly not acting like it. I’m beginning to think you’d rather be with that Everhart boy than us.”

Nova sighed. “Honey, I would never choose Adrian over my family. His parents basically killed them. I am one hundred percent committed.”

“Good.”

Leroy cleared his throat. “The window of time to rescue Ace is closing. We have to act soon. So, we need you to figure out whatever you possibly can about Cragmoor.”

Nova sighed. “You want me to go talk to Adrian.”

They both nodded. “Sorry Nova, I know you just got home.”

“Listen, I want to rescue Ace as much as you guys do, believe me. But give me a break. ‘Cause I… I- .” Nova took a deep breath in, and out. “I’m worth fighting for too.” Honey started, and stared at her in complete shock. “Just for… for..” nova sighed and stared them straight in the eyes. “For once in my life, give me a break. Yes, I know what the Renegades did. But don’t play innocent. I know you’ve manipulated me my entire life. And I let it happen. So just… leave me alone tonight. I have a lot to think about. We can overthrow the Renegades tomorrow, alright?”

Before Honey could respond, Nova stormed upstairs. She threw the window open, and was half-way out before a thought crossed her mind. She ducked back in and put the small jar with the golden butterfly into her pocket.

She pulled herself to the roof, and leapt off. She bounded across the rooftops, until she had reached an old office. She scaled to the roof, and pulled the jar out of her pocket.

“So they can put me in a cage,” she muttered to herself. “Lock me in a room and throw away the key. But they get mad at me when I try to stand up for myself.” She flipped onto her back, and looked at the setting sun. The sky was alight with colors.

“I know you hate me,” she said to the butterfly. “I’ve done terrible things. I hurt you. But I’m not sorry for what I did.” Nove realized she had started to cry. “I dare you to do something else if you had been in my place.”

She sniffed, and wiped her tears away. “I’ll break down the walls trying to keep me down. I’ll be a higher wrecking ball then the Renegades. I’m gonna hurt them the way they hurt me. And I won’t let them tear me down.” No. Oh, Nova would never let them win. Oh, she would never let that happen. They could lock her away at Cragmoor, and throw away the key, but Nova would never stop fighting.

“Danna, I dare you to spend a day in my shoes. Oh, someone like you? So used to freedom and choices? Oh, you wouldn’t last a day. And I won't let you tear me down. No, the Renegades will never best me.” Nova wiped her face again.

She looked at the small insect.

“At least I know the Renegades are bad. The anarchists…” Nova sighed. “They pretend they're so much better, but I know they’re just using me. They don’t actually care about me, just what I can do. I had an opinion, but I never spoke my mind, and I wouldn’t argue, even when I knew I was right. I was too fucking scared of what would happen. What Honey might do. But I’m not that girl anymore. I can stand up for myself. I can say what I want now.” The sun had now fully set, and a speckling of stars covered the sky.

Yeah, Nova had lost almost every battle against Honey and the other Anarchists. She never won an argument so she had stopped trying. But she was determined to win the war.

“I’m worth fighting for, Danna. For- for years of my life, I watched the Renegades abuse me and the Anarchists. And I know that you and Adrian, and the others want me to be good and do the right thing, but that's not gonna happen. I’m not changing who I am because it’ll get me farther in life. So if the Renegades do end up winning, you can put me in a cage, you can lock me in a room and throw away the keys.” She leapt to her feet, and strode around, her mind too crowded to enjoy the starry sky.

“In fact I dare you. I dare you to lock me away, because I’ll break down the walls. I will be a higher wrecking ball. And I won’t let you tear me down, no.” She breathed out heavily. “But I am sick of this guilt I have. Sick of convincing myself I’m doing what needs to be done. I’m fucking sick of having to see you every day, just to be struck by another wave of guilt at seeing you trapped because of me. I’m so sick of being confused and torn between everything.” Nova scooped the jar up, off the ground and held it to her chest.

“I want to throw away the key to my heart, make it so I can never open it. So no one can ever open it. I don’t ever want to give anyone power over me again. Look at what it’s fucking doing to me!” She sobbed, to the butterfly. “I dare you to go to the Renegades. Bring them here, let them catch me.” Nova turned to the edge and screamed, “I am done being the double agent! I am fucking done!” But no one responded. No one cared. Who would?

“I won’t let you tear me down? No what a fucking joke. Danna, you’ve already torn me apart. With guilt. With your hate. With the knowledge that when you’re human again, you'll hate me!” Nova collapsed back onto the hard roof.

“I just keep running, running, running. Trying to find my place in the world, and it always ends back at good vs. evil. Villain vs. hero. Just like you and me. Monarch vs. Nightmare,” Nova spat, still crying. “I’m still fucking trying to find who I was. Am. I don’t know. I would go the distance to find out, but it’s never far enough.”

She held the jar up to eye level, and looked at the delicate golden insect.

Nova knew exactly what she wanted, but she knew that would never happen. She knew what she wanted for once. Yes, she wanted to destroy the Renegades for what they did to her and her family. Yes, she wanted to tell the Anarchists that she was done being their tool. Yes, she wanted to save Ace from his fast approaching death. Yes, she wanted to have it all be over.

But in that moment, the one thing she wanted, wanted more than anything was to see Danna right in front of her. To stop that constant guilt from devouring her. It might mean the end of her freedom, but it was worth it. To see Danna one more time.

“But now, Danna, I'm standing straight and I think I know exactly who I am.” Nova breathed in. She smiled a little and laughed amid her tears.

“My name is Nova Jean Artino. I’m not a Renegade or an Anarchist. I’m just Nova. Yeah, I was raised as an Anarchist. Yeah, I pretended to be a Renegade. But that’s not important. Because I’m Nova, and that’s all that matters.” She carefully unscrewed the top and let the gold insect fly out.

As it disappeared, Nova whispered to herself, “I can remember a time when I was so afraid. I trapped a golden girl in a jar so she wouldn’t hurt me, and by doing that, I hurt her. So now, now I’m terrified she’ll hate me forever.”

Nova sat down on the rooftop, and waited. For what though, she wasn’t quite sure. Common sense told her to run. Run far, and hide. Danna would tell everyone, and she would spend the rest of her life behind bars.

A flicker of orange caught Nova’s eye. A swarm of brilliant monarchs were flying across the night, heading straight for Nova. She sprang to her feet as they cycloned in front of her.

They consolidated into a form still in a Renegades uniform, blonde dreadlocks wild and crazy, brushing against warm brown skin. Danna.

“Nova,” she whispered, before pitching forwards. Right into Nova’s arms.

Nova hugged her tight against her body, and inhaled the scent of flowers. She gently lowered the unconscious girl to the ground, using her leg as a pillow for Danna’s head.

Danna’s eyes flickered open. “Nova…” she croaked.

“Hey Danna,” she replied through a blur of tears. “I’m sorry…”

Danna cut her off by reaching up and cradling Nova’s head. She kissed her firmly, stopping anymore words from leaving Nova’s mouth.

“I wanted to do that from the moment I saw you,” Danna breathed.

Nova sprang to her feet, Danna right behind her.

“Danna, I’m a bad person. You should turn me in. Find a better person to be with,” Nova said softly through tears. “I’m tired of living a lie. Please… just do it already.” She screwed her eyes shut and held out her hands, expecting Danna to handcuff her, or call Adrian and the others.

Instead, warm arms enveloped her.

Nova broke down sobbing, crying into Danna’s shoulder. It wasn’t pretty or cute, it was an ugly cry. Tears and snot ran down her face.

“I’m so so sorry,” she sobbed. “I trapped you. I betrayed you. How are you not mad?”

Danna sighed, and rubbed Nova’s back soothingly. “In the beginning I was. I was so mad that you had been spying on us, using us. I was pissed that I was stuck in swarm mode. But then… I saw how you lived. The way the other anarchists used you, and the way you were manipulated. I know that the Renegades messed up your life a lot, and I understand Nova. I don’t agree with what you did, but I do understand.”

Nova sobs gradually ceased. “You should go. I don’t want to get you in trouble for helping me. Thank you for everything Danna.” She pulled herself away from the warm hug.

“Nova,” Danna said sharply. “You can put me in a cage, or lock me in a room, however much you want.” She inhaled sharply. “You can do whatever you want to try and convince me you're a bad person, but I know the truth.”

Nova turned to look at Danna’s wide brown eyes.

“You can throw away the key to your heart, but you can bet that won’t stop me.” Danna smiled at Nova. “I dare you to let me into your life. Because I'm in love with you. And if you think that we can’t be together because you think you're a villain, then I’ll break down the walls guarding you.” Danna smirked, her soft lips curving into a smile. “I’m a higher wrecking ball, and you can’t stop me. Nova Jean Artino, you are going to have to accept the fact that I love you, and I don’t want you to turn me away because you think you’re a villain. I understand if you don’t want me, but I need you to realize that I want you as who you are, villain or not.”

Nova shook her head. “But what about my uncle? I can’t just let him die, he’s done so much for me. I won’t let you tear me down, away from my goal, and my family. No, oh no. He’s all I have left. ”

“Nova, it's too late for him, but it's not too late for you. Throw away this pointless hope that he can survive this. I agree the renegades need to change, and you are key to that, not him.” Danna reached out to grab Nova’s hand, and pulled them together.

Nova pressed her forehead against Danna’s, their warm skin touching together.

“Nova, I dare you to forget everything. Forget the Anarchists and the Renegades. Forget everything, and just think about me.” Danna smiled at Nova. “Do you want me the way I want you?”

“Yes,” Nova breathed. “Oh, more than anything.”

“Then what are you waiting for? We can leave. Start a new life, just us. Forget renegades and anarchists. There would be no Nightmare and Monarch. Just Nova and Danna.”

“We can’t…”

“Why not? What’s stopping you? Is there anything for you in Gatlon?”

Nova shook her head. “But Ace…”

“He’s already dead. We can’t do anything for him. But we can do something for you. I know how huge this is- asking you to leave everything and start a new life, but I love you Nova Jean Artino, and I never want to see you caught by the Renegades, or used by the Anarchists ever again.” Danna looked straight at Nova. “Will you leave with me?”

“Okay,” Nova said, surprising herself. “Okay,” she repeated with a small laugh. “You’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

Danna’s face darkened. “Everyday when I was in the jar. When I saw the way you were treated, I knew I had to get you out of there.”

“That must have been terrible for you to be stuck in there,” Nova murmured.

“You helped me. Whenever I saw your face, or heard your voice it made me feel better because I knew nothing had happened.”

“You helped me too. I’ve never had anyone I could talk to, but for you it felt like you were listening. And understanding.” Nova shrugged.

“I was. Well not listening exactly, but I did understand. And I wanted to form so I could wrap my arms around you, and kiss you until you were better.”

“You can do that now if you want,” Nova said lightly. “I hear it’s good to practice.”

Danna raised her eyebrow. “Well, we’d better make up for years of missing out then.”

Nova’s face flushed a brilliant shade of red. “You’re not the first person I kissed,” she mumbled.

Danna laughed brightly. “Really? Who else?”

“Narcissa Cronin. The Librarian’s daughter. I don't think you've met her.”

“Interesting. But I still think you need more practice,” Danna grinned, and cupped Nova’s face in her strong hands.

Danna pulled them together, and they kissed.

It was like nothing Nova had ever experienced before. Small fireworks shot through her mind as she wrapped her legs up around Danna’s waist, and they tumbled down to the hard ground.

They didn’t care.

Danna ran her hands through Nova’s choppy hair.

“We should go,” Nova said, breathless. “If we really want to leave.”

“Yeah,” Danna said, equally out of breath. She tucked a loose piece of hair behind Nova’s ear. “We should.”

She reached up and pulled Nova back down, Nova straddling her hips and leaned down over Danna again, her hair a thick curtain.

“You’re beautiful Star,” Danna said thickly.

“You too, lepidoptera,” Nova chuckled. She leaned back up.

“Oh stop it.” Danna pretended to glare at Nova, and leaned back up.

“Never.” Nova smirked. “So you really want to leave? We can’t come back. This is a forever decision,” Nova said, her expression souring.

“Nova, I want you to be my forever,” Danna said, rubbing Nova’s hand. “I love you, and I’d give up the world for you.” She stood, and offered a hand to Nova, which Nova accepted.

“I love you too, but I don’t want you to throw your life away.”

“I’m not throwing it away if it's with you. I’m just making it better.”

Nova went up on her tiptoes, and brushed a kiss against Danna’s chin. “I want to leave Gatlon forever and never look back.”

“Me too.”

“Ready then?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Danna burst into her swarm, and followed Nova closely as she made her way down the old building.

She solidified, and together the two of them walked through the city, hand in hand.

Nova thought back to the Anarchists, the way she was just leaving them. They would not last long without her. But Leroy was smart, and they knew how to survive.

“Thinking about the others?” Danna asked. “I know I don’t like the idea of leaving our team by themselves, but I’d rather you be safe.” Danna squeezed her hand reassuringly. “They’ll be okay.”

“I hope so,” Nova responded, thinking about the Anarchists not the Renegades.

As they walked past the cathedral ruins, Nova whispered, “I won’t let you tear me down, Uncle. You did what you could to mold me to become your perfect soldier, but now I'm becoming my own person. And I say no more heroes and villains. Just me and Danna forever.” She looked back at the tall girl and smiled. “She feels better than revenge will ever feel. And I want her to be my forever.”

Together, hand in hand the couple left the city, and never returned.

tag list: @honey-harper-official @quinterickson @thepurpledragon4444 @nova-artino @lesbianariescalante @prudence-barnett @plain-jane-mclain

(this is my first tag list so please let me know if you want to be added or taken off)

#nobell #nova artino #danna bell #honey harper #leroy flinn #renegades #renegades fanfic #archenemies #supernova #my favourite gay and bi couple #otp #novanna

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k7l4d4 · 3 years

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Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Fic Episode 6 Part 4

Hello, and let me once again introduce you to the whimsical world of Midnight Striga! Everybody Clap Your Hands!!

As Luz glanced back between Amity’s pale face, and Willow’s nearly bursting rage, the pieces started coming together. With widened eyes, she said, “Wow. She didn’t remember you at all? That is cold.” She shook her head, her cautious respect for the ambitious woman having taken a hit. She bit her lip. “Are you two going to be okay?” She hesitantly asked, her and Gus looking concerned at the reactions of the two girls.

“I-!” Willow started, before pausing, the anger draining out of her face. “I’ll be fine. They aren’t worth the effort.” She said, sounding exhausted and drained. She sighed, smoothing out her dress. “Let’s just get this night over with.”

“Indeed, let’s.” Amity stated, face regaining some hints of color. With that awkward moment finally passing, the group headed into what they assumed was the room Amity had staked out to host the Moonlight Conjuring in. Before too long, the rest of the guests had started coming in: Amelia, Cat, Selena, Bo, and Skara. There weren't many, but they came all the same.

The girls froze upon seeing Luz, Amelia audibly gulping at the sight of her. The group frantically glanced back and forth between Luz in front of them, and Skara, situated at the back. Luz resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing it wouldn’t help any. She sighed, “Okay, look, I’m not going to assume I know why you’re all freaked out over me being here, though I do have a guess. I’m the security you were promised, and as long as I’m here, I’ll keep you all safe. Okay?” She finished, a note of hesitance in her voice.

“During the attack, someone I cared about was killed.”

The group turned towards Skara, staring straight at Luz, a blank, empty look in her eyes. Bo reached out, only for her arm to be gently pushed away. She stepped forward. “His name was Batthew. He wasn’t the smartest guy in the world, and he always went overboard. And now he’s dead.” Her voice sounded hollow, like she had no hope, no joy inside of her at all.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Luz said softly. If Skara was going to blame her for her friend’s death, she wouldn’t fight it.

Skara lightly shook her head. “Don’t be, it wasn’t your fault those maniacs killed him.” She stated, getting bewildered looks from all. Tears started to prick at the corners of Skara’s eyes. “All I want to say is thank you for avenging him. Even if you didn’t fight his killer, you helped stop those sickos, and prevented any more people from feeling the hurt I felt.”

Luz blinked, feeling some measure of relief that she didn’t hate her. That relief quickly shifted to guilt when she reminded herself Skara was grateful for stopping the people who had killed her crush/boyfriend. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve seen the kind of things the Black Dogs get up to when allowed to rampage.” She shuddered at the mental image. “I was more than glad to stop them.” She said gravely. She and Skara shared a solemn nod at her words.

With that, the tension seemed to bleed out of the room. Amity’s friends were still noticeably nervous around Luz, but it wasn’t anything too bad, and a few, such as Bo, even made an active effort to talk and interact with her.

“No way! Humans don’t have healing magic!?” Bo exclaimed, eyes wide with shock.

“Well, sorta,” Luz said sheepishly, scratching her head in embarrassment. “Back in the old days, it was a pretty common tactic of warring groups to attack enemy healers to deprive the opposition of their skills, as well as destroying information sources when capturing them wasn’t an option. Because of that, a lot of forms of magic and magical arts were all but lost, including Healing.” She finished, a soft frown on her face.

“Oh my Titan, that must be horrible!” Bo said, heart aching in sympathy of those whose lives were lost because they didn’t have access to healing magic.

“Yeah, I was honestly a little shocked when I learned that the Isles had healing magic.” Luz chuckled, arms crossed over her chest. “Still, efforts have been made to bring back Healing Magic, with assistance from those practitioners still alive in the world. Last I heard, Fiore, my home country, had actually established a school exclusively for the study and research of Healing Magic!”

“Well that’s a relief,” Bo sighed. “It might’ve come late, but at least it’s there now, and people can go get treatment when they need it, right?” She inquired.

“Yeah.” Luz said, cracking a sad grin. “Just wish it had come a little sooner.” She muttered.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing!”

Willow and Amelia were currently having a discussion about Plants. By all accounts, Willow was giving Amelia some pointers for upcoming assignments, particularly those dealing with more aggressive breeds of plants. Amelia frantically scribbled down the tips and suggestions Willow offered.

“Good, good, I can work with this!” Amelia excitedly exclaimed, relief and joy shining in her eyes. She turned to Willow, an embarrassed smile on her face. “You are seriously amazing at this!”

“It’s just some stuff I’ve pieced together in my free time.” Willow shrugged noncommittally. “I’m happy to share it if people think they need it, I just don’t see anything really special about it.”

Amelia gave a rueful grin, shaking her head. “And that’s why it’s so incredible! You figured all this stuff out on your own, when it took actual, fully-trained adults years to discover this stuff!” She gave Willow a sad smile. “You really are amazing.”

Willow averted her eyes, uncomfortable. Amelia may not have been as… aggressive as Boscha was at even her best, but she was still part of the group that made her school life difficult. But… Willow couldn’t find it in her to stay mad at the girl. She certainly didn’t like her, but she didn’t dislike her either. “Thanks, I guess?” She ultimately mumbled out.

Amelia briefly searched Willow’s face in confusion, before sighing in realization. “Look, Willow? About the whole ‘Half-a-Witch’ thing…” She started, proceeding carefully at Willow’s sharp look.

“Yeah?” Willow drawled, hackles raised.

Amelia bit her lip slightly, before continuing. “I’m sorry. It was a seriously lame thing to do, and to let Boscha and Amity get away with. Even if we weren’t friends, we could’ve done something to try and make things easier for you, but we just went along with it because it was easier.” She turned clear eyes towards Willow’s suspicious gaze. “It may not mean much now, but I will try and make things up to you. If that’s okay with you?” She gave a hopeful smile.

Willow mulled it over… but she didn’t feel any suspicions rousing at Amelia’s words. Sighing, she finally said, “I’m willing to give you a chance. I really don’t know how to feel about you and the others here.” She glanced over at Luz and Bo. “I honestly only came because my parents insisted, and because Gus and Luz were going to be here. But, if you really are serious about being sorry,” She gave a hesitant grin. “I’m willing to let bygones be bygones.” The two shared a nervous laugh. A thought came to Willow. “Hey, do you know why Boscha isn’t here?” She asked.

Amelia gave a snort. “Amity didn’t invite her, and considering how she’s been acting, that’s probably for the best.” She explained, getting a look of mixed confusion and concern from Willow. She elaborated, “Boscha basically screamed her head off at Skara and sent her into tears after she burned her, and she’s been avoiding everyone ever since. And between her and Skara, every one of us chose to stick by Skara.” She finished. Willow pondered the topic. As much as Boscha had caused her grief and some heartache over the years, she didn’t wish that kind of loneliness on anyone. She’d probably talk about it with Luz later.

Gus was surprisingly hitting it off rather well with Cat and Skara. Cat had basically volunteered to be Skara’s backup nurse for when Bo wasn’t around or when Bo just needed to take a break for herself. Skara frankly thought Gus was hilarious, even if she wasn’t really in a laughing mood, as his energy and nervousness gave him a unique air to him.

“-And so yeah, Bo’s a member of the HAS!” Gus finished explaining, getting a look of shared amusement from his conversation partners. “I mean, I guess with everything that’s happened, our group and the Human Roleplay Society is gonna get a lot of dirty looks after the attack.” He concluded, a look of bashfulness and sadness filling his features.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to join the HAS to send a message.” Skara remarked, getting an incredulous look from Gus, and a snort of amusement from Cat. “I’m serious! You shouldn’t be getting harassed because of what someone else did. Plus,” She gave a nervous smile, “It’ll let me hang out with Bo more often.”

“Well, I’m never one to turn away new members!” Gus excitedly cheered.

“I’ll bet.” Cat remarked sardonically, giving a loose shrug.

Unbeknownst to any of the guests, Amity had slipped away, stalking through her home on the search for her parents. The scowl on her face would’ve sent even the toughest of the Isles’ residents backpedalling. She roughly shoved her way past the assorted Abomination servants, utterly unwilling to deal with even the slightest of delays. Eventually, she made it to her father’s workshop, him STILL tinkering over his pet project, her mother calmly sipping her tea next to him while going over some of the paperwork from the family business. “Mother, Father.” She said with tightly controlled politeness.

“Ah, Mittens! How is the party going?” Her mother cordially asked, while her father gave a grunt of acknowledgement as to her presence. Odalia stood up, moving closer, pulling Amity to her side. “I must say, I am most impressed, sweety! Cultivating new relationships for the future with exceptional individuals, a stroke of brilliance!” She said, a proud smile across her face.

“Thank you.” Amity bit out, before continuing, “But what I actually came to talk to you about is-”

“MITTENS!!” Emira’s voice rang out, accompanied by frantic pounding. “GET ME AND ED OUT OF HERE!!!”

Amity turned a confused glance towards Odalia. “Emira was rather adamant about supervising your Conjuring, and when I tried to put my foot down, she… objected, rather aggressively. I had to seal her and Edric in the panic room so they wouldn’t get up to any mischief.” Her mother sheepishly explained, looking both pleased and annoyed at the ferocity her eldest daughter had displayed.

“I can understand locking up Emira,” Amity stated, quirking an eyebrow. “But why Edric?”

“Mittens, we both know he would free her in a heartbeat, if for no other reason than because it is Emira.” Odalia drolly stated, causing a brief moment of solidarity to pass between the two. Yes, they were both very familiar with Edric’s peculiarities and the sheer depth of his loyalty to his twin. “Now, what is it you wished to speak with me about, Mittens?” Odalia finally asked, getting back on track.

Amity breathed in deep, forcibly holding back her anger. “When you spoke with Willow, you implied that you only knew her through our confrontation at school, would that be accurate?” She tersely asked, getting a look of baffled surprise from Odalia, and a raised brow from Alador.

“Well, yes! Where else would I know her from?” Odalia rhetorically asked, a note of borderline condescension coloring her voice.

“Hmm… I must say, that name does seem familiar, but I can’t recall from where.” Alador muttered.

Amity’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Here’s a hint. My fifth birthday.”

“What does that have to do with anything!?” Odalia demanded in bewilderment, even as Alador mulled the hint over.

Alador snapped his fingers in realization. “Ah yes! Now I remember! Willow was the name of one of Amity’s playmates when she was little. When we noticed that she wasn’t developing as fast as her peers, we had Amity sever ties at her… fifth… birthday- oh.” He said, his usual tired expression widening into pale realization, even as Odalia’s own face shifted into horrified realization as the implications sunk in.

“Yes, oh.” Amity echoed, a look of bitter amusement on her face. She turned on her heel. “That was all the confirmation I needed. I believe that I will spend the remainder of the evening seeing to my guests. Mother, father.” And with that, she power-walked away, ignoring her mother’s cries to come back, to talk things over, as if she would. Amity ripped her necklace off, shoving it into her pocket, in no mood to hear her mother’s voice in her head tonight. Yet another blotch had appeared in her mental image of her parents. It was honestly mostly a black smear at this point anyway.

Eda glanced out at the sky, seeing that the Night Market was about to open, if the encroaching darkness was a solid indicator. She called over her shoulder, “Come on, King! We’ve got a shady seller to see about some potions!”

“Weh! I’m ready to go!” King cried, running up to her side, putting on a look of fierce (adorable) determination. She cracked a smirk at that. The two headed out, giving Hooty permission to use any and all means to defend the house in their absence, prompting a delighted shout of excitement from the friendly, if annoying, House Demon. Neither noticed, the heavy figure moving through the branches of the trees, stalking them on their approach to town, nor its bloodthirsty grin.

Luz glanced up from her discussion with Skara at Amity’s arrival to the room. “Hey Blight!” She cheerfully called out, only for her expression to shift into concern at Amity’s gloomy demeanor. “Something wrong?”

Amity sighed, waving off her concern. “It’s nothing, just an unpleasant talk with my parents.”

“Oh no, are they kicking us out!?” Gus exclaimed, a look of panicked despair crossing his face. He turned to Willow, clinging to her dress. “This is it! The moment of hopelessness as our dreams are dashed to pieces! Willow my friend, it was fun while it lasted!” He cried, sobbing into her dress, much to Willow’s exhaustion.

“What!?” Amity asked, baffled, before shaking it off. “No, you’re not getting kicked out, I just had something unpleasant confirmed. Please, you’re free to stay.” She said, bemused at the cheer of relief Gus let out, even as Luz and Willow shook their heads in amusement at his antics.

“Well, I guess it’s about time for me to start doing the job you recruited me for.” Luz said with a joking tone, heading for the door. She flicked a finger gun towards the group. “Save me some snacks for when I get back, okay?”

“Will do!” Willow called back.

Snorting in amusement, Luz made her way to the front door, planning on crawling up to the top of the roof for a vantage point against any attackers. Plus, she thought standing on a roof by moonlight was badass. Chuckling to herself at her inner geek rearing its head, Luz pulled the door open, only to go still at what she saw. Seven humans, all standing outside the door, staring her down. However, what really drew her gaze was the figure in the center, someone she hadn’t seen in quite some time. “Neon!?” Luz exclaimed in shock.

“LuLu!” The girl exclaimed, jumping towards Luz in a flying hug. The blue-haired girl eagerly buried her face into Luz’s side, a look of childish excitement covering her face. “Oh I just knew it was you!!” She pulled back, her face puffing out in a pout. “And here you are, having a fun-time slumber party without me!” She whined, flailing her arms. Luz felt her face go deadpan, even as the others, guards she figured, sighed in exhaustion at the antics of their charge. Yup, this was definitely Neon. Neon crossed her arms, a look of defiance covering her, admittedly adorable, features. “And since I’m here, I’m gonna be joining this party, whether you like it or not!”

“There is absolutely no way I’m talking you out of this, is there?” Luz droned, already resigned to the excitable girl’s antics.

“Nope!”

Amity busied herself with the setup for the Conjuring, intently ignoring the glances the others sent her way. She wasn’t distracting herself from the confirmation that, yes, her parents were callous enough to completely disregard one of the most bitter memories in her life, not in the slightest.

“Hey, guys?” Luz’s voice called out, drawing the attention of the group to the door. “We might have a situation!” Everyone was instantly on guard; Bo, Cat, and Amelia were nervous, seriously wondering if they were in danger, while Skara and Gus grew nervous but steeled themselves, even as Willow and Amity braced themselves for an attack. “Now, don’t be alarmed, but we’ve got some… surprise guests is all!”

With that said, Luz walked into the room. Everyone instantly took note of the girl tightly clinging to Luz’s side, a thin girl, roughly around their age, with messy blue hair held up in a ponytail by a yellow ribbon, a long-sleeved purple striped shirt under a vest, a long skirt going to her calves. She was beautiful, with delicate features that screamed innocence and gentleness, with brilliant blue eyes shining outward. Following behind them were six other humans, all varying in appearance, the only commonality being the immaculate black suits they wore.

“Um, Luz?” Willow tentatively asked. “Who’s this?” She asked, gesturing to the girl tightly hugging Luz’s side.

“Ugh, everyone, this is Neon Nostrade. She’s a friend of mine from the Human Realm. Neon, these are my friends and acquaintances from the Demon Realm.” Luz intoned, introducing the girl to the group and vice versa.

“Oooh!! It’s so amazing to meet you all! I am Neon, heiress of the Nostrade family, and these are my guards!” She cheerfully announced, wildly gesturing to the group behind her. “Basho,” She pointed to the tallest, a muscular man with a cleft chin, pompadour, mustache and sideburns, who gave a friendly wave, “Piper,” a round, short figure with prominently pointed front teeth, long hair with a significant bald spot on top who gave a small nod, “Baise,” a beautiful woman whose hair was done up in an intricate braided top-knot offered a short wave, “Tocino,” A gangly fellow with bright orange hair offered a smile, “Squala,” a darker skinned man with tightly pinned back hair gave a two-fingered salute, “and Kurapika!” The last guard, a handsome young man with rich blond hair, gave a bow, a polite smile on his face. Neon turned a sweet grin to the group. “They keep me safe from meanies who wanna steal my predictions!”

The assembled witches numbly waved in greeting. They all turned to Luz, who groaned.

“Look, I have no idea how they got here, but I can vouch for Neon, and I know her dad screens her guards to an insane degree. They won’t be a risk to us.” She stated, nodding to the group.

“Oh LuLu, you say the nicest things!” Neon cheered, eagerly hugging Luz’s arm.

“LuLu?” Amity questioned.

“Uh huh, LuLu!” Neon eagerly agreed. “LuLu was my very first bodyguard! Originally, papa kept me tucked away so my future husband would be the first person outside the family to see me!” The Witches paled. “But then I figured out fun magic, and papa made a bunch more money than usual, and he said I wasn’t gonna have a husband anymore, and he had his business buddies give him LuLu to protect me!” She cheerfully explained. “After that, LuLu took me into town a bunch and I had lots of fun! I got to shop for my own clothes, and didn’t have to wear dolly dresses anymore, and got to eat yummy food that wasn’t just veggies and water, and I even met a nice man who was getting money for his sick momma’s medicine and I gave him a bunch of money, but LuLu took him into an Alley and gave him her money and got mine back!” She just kept rambling away, even as her guards slumped over in exhausted resignation, a matching expression on Luz’s face.

“Hey, Neon? We’ve got some snacks set up, if you want any.” Luz said, pointing to the tray of goodies.

“Ooh! Yummy!” Neon cheered, rushing for the treats, eagerly stuffing them into her mouth.

The blond guard, Kurapika, spoke up. “Please excuse the Young Miss. She means well, but… she doesn’t have the most experience with the real world, I’m afraid.” He formally stated, giving a deep bow to the Witches. As he pulled up, he added, “I believe it is accurate of me to say that we are very grateful for you allowing us in. When the Young Miss overheard that her friend,” he gestured to Luz, who was currently staring at a wall, dead to the world, “was going to be attending a gathering at night with a group of youths, she insisted we come.” He sighed.

“By all means, this is no trouble.” Amity stated diplomatically, compartmentalizing the barrage of information Neon had blurted out, focusing on the gentlemen before her. Noticing the nervousness of the others, she asked, “Forgive me, but our Isles have recently been attacked by a group known as Oroboros, and everyone is on edge when it comes to humans, and while I mean no offense, I have to ask, do you have any association with them?”

The guards gained matching looks of dark loathing. “No, we do not.” Kurapika stated, his voice a mask of tightly controlled cool politeness. He relaxed slightly as he explained, “We were hired to guard Miss Neon so as to keep her predictive magic from being taken, along with her. While her father is, unfortunately, a high-ranking financier for Oroboros, we fortunately exist outside of that nest of darkness’ command structure.”

Amity nodded, filing away the information. “While I’m not sure how much you can actually say, would you care to explain how you all got to the Isles?”

As Kurapika opened his mouth to reply, he was cut off by Neon’s shout. “We passed through a big gate filled with water, and then Zoop! We were on the Isles!” She cheerfully called over, before resuming stuffing her face. Her guards just sighed, nodding at her words.

“What Miss Neon says is true.” Kurapika stated with a rueful grin. “While we don’t know its precise nature, we entered this Realm through the use of a Water Magic based portal. It was… quite the experience.” He finished, a look of embarrassment crossing his features at some memory.

“Thank you.” Amity said, moving over to Luz, who was still staring a whole into the wall. She pulled in close, harshly whispering into her ear. “That girl mentioned she had been kept in seclusion until her marriage. How old was she to be during it?”

“Thirteen.” Luz growled out. “The fact creep was one of the few people I’ve killed and not regretted, at least not outside the abstract regret of killing at all. I honestly would’ve preferred to expose the corrupt monster, but I had to settle for putting him out of people’s misery.” She turned a burning glare towards Amity. “And Neon’s dad is even worse.”

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ibijau · 4 years

Text

Worst engagement AU // on AO3

After finding out exactly how Nie Huaisang feels about him, Lan Xichen tries to get a grip on his emotions and to figure out what to do next.

The evening after it, Lan Xichen doesn’t go to the dining halls. He doesn’t dine at all, in fact. When his uncle asks about it later, he says that he got too deep in meditation and didn’t notice the time. It’s not quite true, and he doesn’t think Lan Qiren believes him.

Lan Xichen does lose track of time that afternoon though. After what happened, it takes him a while to sort out the way he feels.

The first emotion he can identify, once he stops crying and drags himself to his bed, is anger, fuelled by jealousy. He’s angry that Nie Huaisang, not for the first time, toyed with his emotions and pretended to flirt with him only to hurt him. He’s angry that Nie Huaisang once again treated their engagement so lightly, even after Lan Xichen closed his eyes on his previous betrayal. He’s angry that someone else got to touch Nie Huaisang when it is now so clear that he never will. He’s angry that he’s not angry enough to hate Nie Huaisang, even after this. He’s angry at the pain he’s feeling and the way he can't make it stop. He’s angry at everything.

That rage rolls and rises like a wave before coming crashing down as night falls, leaving behind a mess of guilt and sorrow.

If there was still any doubt in his mind about the way Nie Huaisang feels about him, it is now gone. His fiancé hates him, plain and simple.

Not for the first time, Lan Xichen wonders if his father too went through that realisation, and whether it was before or after forcing his wife to marry him. He hopes it was after, that his father was too naive to see the truth before. It is hard enough to be the child of such parents without having to face exactly how twisted their marriage was.

Because this is where Lan Xichen’s understanding of his father stops. If he had a choice, he would call off the engagement this instant. In fact it is so tempting to grab paper and beg Nie Mingjue to put an end to this cruel joke, because he loves Nie Huaisang too much to see him waste away as his mother did. How his father could bear it, he doesn’t understand. To love a person with all the passion Qingheng-Jun is said to have felt for his wife, and still keep them like a caged bird with broken wings…

But there’s a war coming, and this isn’t just an engagement, it’s an alliance against a sect that threatens all their lives. Even if Lan Xichen asked to break this off, Nie Mingjue would have to refuse. Even if Nie Mingjue agreed, Lan Qiren and Qingheng-Jun would argue with him to change his mind. The feelings of two boys don’t matter when compared to what awaits if their sects do not stand together. Lan Xichen’s only hope is that the situation somehow de-escalates, that the Wen realise they cannot push much further before the other great sects have no choice but to push back.

A fool’s hope.

Men like Wen Ruohan and his sons are born for war, and they will all pay the price of Qishan Wen’s ambitions.

Still, Lan Xichen, in the little hours of the morning, promises himself he will not profit from this forced marriage the way his father did. It was already wrong of him to force himself upon Nie Huiasang the way he did (and he does not, cannot, refuses to think how good it was to kiss Nie Huaisang, how even through the guilt he’d give anything to do it again, if only there was a way to make his fiancé want him). The rules of Gusu Lan are strict on such matters, and Lan Xichen will have to see what punishment he earned.

He’ll do better in the future. He’ll see if Nie Huaisang can be given his own house, as Lan Qiren once suggested was possible. He’ll leave Nie Huaisang free to return to the Unclean Realm as often as he likes, as long as he likes, and to visit his friends in Lotus Piers or (Lan Xichen’s mind rebel at the idea, his stomach heaves, anger not quite as appeased as he had thought, but he forces it down because he has no right to make demands, no rights to tell Nie Huaisang who to be friends with, who to love even, if that’s what it is) in Carp Tower. And then, when the war that they all fear has happened, if they have, won, if they still live… then Lan Xichen will do what’s right and find a way to have their marriage annulled.

Lan Xichen refuses to become his father.

When dawn rises, Lan Xichen is exhausted but confident that things, one way or another, will be fine.

That confidence lasts until he reaches the dining halls for breakfast and sees Nie Huaisang sitting with Jiang Cheng, chatting about something. His fiancé's face is pale, he has dark lines under his eyes, as if he did not sleep either, and he shows even less appetite than usual for the meal before him. Yet when their eyes meet, Nie Huaisang’s gaze is challenging.

It occurs to Lan Xichen that after what the other boy told him, it would be easy to get him in terrible trouble. What for, though? Nie Huaisang already hates him enough. All Lan Xichen can do is, once again, promise him that he will keep this secret as well.

Jiang Cheng, noticing that his friend is distracted, follows his gaze until he spots Lan Xichen. He must not like what he sees, because he immediately puts a protective arm around Nie Huaisang’s shoulder.

In an instant, the anger that Lan Xichen had so carefully extinguished flares up again. He wonders if Jiang Cheng too…

Lan Xichen hurriedly leaves the dining halls without having eaten anything. His cultivation is good enough that it's not a problem, and going hungry is better than taking the risk of letting his emotions explode in public. Luckily he does not have classes that morning, so he is free to return home, and meditate some more in a vain attempt to stop crying.

When the bell for lunch rings, Lan Xichen ignores it. He has only just regained control of himself and cannot lose it again. It can't last forever, sooner or later he'll need to eat. There's still over a month left until the guest disciples leave, Lan Xichen knows he cannot stay without food that long. He knows, also, that he doesn't feel ready to face Nie Huaisang yet.

It's mid-afternoon when Lan Xichen hears someone come into the house, followed by a careful but familiar knock on his bedroom's door. Lan Xichen takes a deep breath, rises from his bed, checks that it is not too obvious that he has been crying, and puts on a smile.

"Come in, Wangji."

His brother enters the room, carrying a tray with food. Seeing this, Lan Xichen's smile grows a little more sincere.

"You didn't have to," he says, coming closer to take the tray and put it down on his desk.

"Brother missed several meals," Lan Wangji replies, some worry seeping through his normally unemotional tone. "Brother looks unwell."

Lan Xichen sits down at his desk, and inspects the content of the tray. The dish there is one that he particularly enjoys, in spite of his efforts to follow the rule against preferences. It could be a coincidence, but…

"Wangji, did you make this for me?" he asks, to which he brother nods. "You shouldn't have. I'm not unwell, I just have something on my mind. But thank you, I'm very grateful you made such efforts for me."

As Lan Xichen starts eating (he was starving, he realises) his brother comes to sit near him. Lan Xichen feels a little guilty for causing him to worry, especially when Lan Wangji probably has other things to do. He needs to get himself under control as soon as possible to stop causing trouble.

"Did something happen with Nie gongzi?" Lan Wangji asks after a moment, sitting down next to his brother.

Nearly choking on his food, Lan Xichen throws him a startled look.

"What makes you think that?"

"If it were anything else, Brother would have told Uncle," Lan Wangji points out. "But on the matter of Nie gongzi, Brother keeps everything to himself."

Lan Xichen grimaces, poking at his food.

"I'm not hearing that from you when I still am not allowed to mention Wei Wuxian in your presence."

It is, perhaps, a low blow to speak of that now, but Lan Xichen has yet to find a more efficient way to make his brother drop a conversation. This time though, it doesn't work.

"Is Brother's situation similar to mine with Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji asks instead.

Lan Xichen considers that for a moment, despondently looking at his lunch, and sighs.

"If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said yes," he confesses, too tired to stop himself. "Now, I cannot say. I've made a mess of everything. I don't think there's any going back from this. I suppose I deserve it, for the way I've treated him before."

Patiently, Lan Wangji nods and says nothing, clearly inviting for further confession. It is tempting, but Lan Xichen cannot burden his little brother with his problems, that wouldn't be right. It's supposed to be Lan Wangji who comes to him for comfort, not the opposite. At the same time, that means Lan Xichen has no one to talk to.

He wishes he could fly to Qinghe and cry against Nie Mingjue’s shoulder, but this is the one topic he cannot share with his best friend. He wishes his uncle were not so severe on matters of the heart. He wishes he had a normal father, one he could go to when things get too hard, one who would love him, listen to his problems, comfort him, and give him advice. He wishes, briefly, that his mother were still alive… though on second thought, perhaps it's best that she isn't. She wouldn't be sympathetic to his heartache, he suspects, and losing her respect would kill him.

He created this mess alone, and now he must deal with it alone.

“It’ll be fine,” Lan Xichen says, hoping that’s not a lie, fearing that it is. “I will sort things out. I just need to…”

Words fail him. He’s not sure what he even needs to do. Talk to Nie Huaisang, probably, but the idea of that hurts too much and threatens to bring back tears, which he cannot afford in front of his brother. He doesn’t want to upset Lan Wangji. He doesn’t want to have to explain what happened, and face his brother’s disappointment. He doesn’t want to make Lan Wangji choose a side between his brother and one of his too rare friends. He doesn’t want to know what that choice would be.

“Can I help?” Lan Wangji asks, putting one hand on his brother’s shoulder.

Coming from him, with his aversion to touch, it is the equivalent of a hug. Lan Xichen is more grateful than he can say. It immediately gets harder not to cry, but Lan Xichen still manages, controlling his breathing.

“I’m really fine,” Lan Xichen insists. “You don’t have to worry.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t reply, but gives his brother a long stare that says it all.

“I don’t think you can help,” Lan Xichen sighs. “I don’t think anyone can. It’s too late now. Although…”

He hesitates. It would be unkind to involve his brother in his problems, but at the same time, he simply does not trust himself to be near Nie Huaisang in public. There’s too much risk of causing a scene, and that would not be good for either of them. And yet, they need to talk. If nothing else, Lan Xichen needs to make sure his fiancé knows that he won’t tell anyone about this new… misdemeanour.

“Wangji, if I asked… would you pass a message to Nie Huaisang for me?”

“Hm.”

“Thank you. If you could tell him… regarding the matter that we discussed yesterday, it will be kept between us. As for the rest, I would appreciate if he could come see me here at his convenience to see what can be done.”

“Hm. Anything else?”

“I will probably take my dinner here as well, could you see if that can be arranged? I will endeavour to have things under control by tomorrow but for now… I think that’s best.”

Somehow, Lan Wangji looks more worried now, and his brother wonders how much he can guess. Thankfully, Lan Wangji is a respectful boy and he doesn’t insist, leaving Lan Xichen alone so he can go deliver his message immediately.

Alone with a lunch he struggles to eat, Lan Xichen ponders on what he will say to apologise to Nie Huaisang. He will have to start with that unwanted kiss, for which he still needs to check the appropriate punishment. Then… then everything else. Every little bit of casual cruelty he showed as a child, every dismissive remarks he made, every disdainful silence… Lan Xichen, to his great shame, cannot remember everything he’s done, but he’s sure that Nie Huaisang does. His explosion of rage the day before is proof of that.

After a while, Lan Wangji returns. He gives the still mostly full tray of food a judging look, and seems upset that Lan Xichen is still still at his desk after this long, but doesn’t comment on that.

“Nie Huaisang acknowledged that you would keep certain things between yourselves,” he announces. “As for the rest, he declined the invitation to speak with you.”

Lan Wangji sounds disappointed as he says that, as he always is when he feels people are unreasonable. Lan Xichen feels guilty for asking his brother to play the messenger in such a matter, and hopes it will not cause a rift between the two friends. He would not forgive himself if he ruined that as well.

“I understand,” Lan Xichen says with a smile. “He has good reasons for that, and I did not expect him to agree. I’m sorry for bothering you, I won’t do it again.”

"Hm."

Lan Wangji sits down next to him, and takes his hand. That simple gesture brings back too many recent memories. It breaks what little control Lan Xichen has, and he starts crying again, though more quietly. He wonders how disgusted Nie Huaisang must have been when Lan Xichen took his hand. He will have to apologise for that as well.

"I'm here for you," Lan Wangji says quietly. "I will help, any way I can."

"Play something for me," Lan Xichen requests after some brief hesitation. "I can't seem to meditate properly today."

Without asking any questions, Lan Wangji agrees and goes to fetch his guqin. The song they decide on is perhaps not the most powerful one of the Lan repertoire, but Lan Wangji plays it well enough that afterwards his brother does feel some sense of peace. The pain of being hated by Nie Huaisang is still there, as is the fear of what the future will bring for them, but they no longer overwhelm Lan Xichen.

Things are not ideal. In fact, they are almost as far from ideal as they can be. But he knows what the right course of action is, and he will do his best to act righteously.

Lan Xichen will not be his father.

Just as he promised, Lan Xichen has himself back under control by the next morning, and he has a plan of action ready. The first step, naturally, is to talk to Nie Huaisang. The thought is still deeply painful, but that doesn't make that conversation any less necessary.

Of course, talking to Nie Huaisang is easier said than done. When Lan Xichen tries to approach him at breakfast, the younger boy manages to escape. He does the same at lunch, all but running away with Jiang Cheng before Lan Xichen is even done eating. That’s not such a problem, though. Lan Xichen has some other business to attend, but as soon as he is free, he simply goes to the Jiang cabin. When Jiang Cheng comes to the door, Lan Xichen asks to see his fiancé.

“He’s not here,” Jiang Cheng says.

“Wasn’t he with you earlier?”

“And now he’s not. Try his own cabin maybe.”

Lan Xichen already has, and found it empty. Of course there’s always the option that Nie Huaisang went to hide with Jin Zixuan (it hurts and nearly chokes him, but he can control it now) but it seems unlikely. Nie Huaisang is too smart to do anything that might implicate his lover. In fact, since he’s still spending time with Jiang Cheng, Lan Xichen takes it as proof that nothing must have happened between them, or else Nie Huaisang would be avoiding him too.

“I see,” Lan Xichen says with a polite smile. “I will try that, I suppose. Still, should you see him, please let him know that I would like to speak with him.”

“Didn’t he already tell your brother that he doesn’t want to?” Jiang Cheng retorts.

“He did. And yet, we must talk.”

“Then just wait until your next stupid meeting. You can force him to put up with you at that time.”

Lan Xichen wants to protest that he’s not the one who chose to have those weekly encounters, that he really needs to speak with Nie Huaisang as soon as possible, that Jiang Cheng shouldn’t make comments on a situation that he doesn’t understand.

“I will not bother Jiang gongzi again then,” he says with a smile. “Thank you for your help, and have a pleasant afternoon.”

As he leaves behind the Jiang cabin, Lan Xichen reminds himself that it is good Nie Huaisang has such a loyal friend, one ready to protect him even against his future husband. It probably helps that Jiang Cheng’s parents have a marriage that is known to be… less than satisfactory. He understands how messy things can get.

It’s good that Nie Huaisang has allies.

The rest of the week goes very much the same way. Lan Xichen cannot seem to get a hold of Nie Huaisang, who sometimes doesn’t even appear at meals in an effort to avoid him. When he is there, it is always at Jiang Cheng’s side, and even Lan Qiren remarks that Nie Huaisang no longer alternates seats in class as he used to do. Lan Xichen expresses polite surprise, and says nothing of the reason why Nie Huaisang might have started avoiding Jin Zixuan’s company.

As the days pass, Lan Xichen tries to comfort himself by thinking that, just as Jiang Cheng said, he will see Nie Huaisang during their usual meeting. When that day comes at last, Lan Xichen meticulously prepares everything. He brings biscuits, brews the tea which Nie Huaisang has shown the least aversion to, and readies an incense stick. He has an apology prepared, as well as a detailed explanation of how they might deal with this marriage which Nie Huaisang hates so much. He is as ready for this as he will ever be. All that’s left to do is wait for Nie Huaisang.

So he waits.

He is still waiting by the time the bell rings for dinner.

He waits even after that, against all hope.

He doesn’t stop waiting until his uncle and brother come home and find him still at the table. Lan Qiren frowns at the sight, but before he can say anything, Lan Xichen hurriedly tidies everything and seeks refuge in his room. He does not want to deal with his uncle’s judgement, not on top of everything else.

After days of keeping his cool, Lan Xichen ends up crying again that night. It’s the first time that Nie Huaisang misses one of their meetings. There’s never been any doubt that he hated those, he’s always made it extremely clear, but for him to simply refuse to come feels like a blow Lan Xichen was not prepared for.

The next day, Lan Xichen does not seek out Nie Huaisang. He also does not allow himself to look in his direction, accepting just how unwanted his company is. In the morning, he takes care of some things his uncle asked him to deal with. At lunch, he once more does not look at Nie Huaisang.

Afternoon comes, and with it a little bit of freedom. Lan Xichen is supposed to practice on the xiao and later to go to the shooting range to train, but he has different plans. If Nie Huaisang does not want to see him, he can understand it. Still, certain things have to be said, one way or another. So Lan Xichen sits before a sheet of paper, and proceeds to write down the apology that he will not get the chance to say out loud.

He is on his fifth draft when the front door violently opens and Lan Qiren comes in, dragging by the elbow a very unwilling Nie Huaisang whom he pushes toward the table.

“Orders are meant to be obeyed,” Lan Qiren states. “Weekly meetings until classes end have been ordered, and they will happen.”

Nie Huaisang stumbles a little at being pushed this way, but quickly recovers his balance and glares at the teacher. Lan Xichen feels cold seize him because while he knows his uncle probably means well, this is really just going to make things worse.

“Uncle, I don’t think it’s necessary…”

“You’re guilty as well,” Lan Qiren snaps. “If he doesn’t come, you’re supposed to tell me, not mope around. You’ll both be punished for this infraction. Now get to it, and don’t make me have to deal with you again on this matter.”

Just as suddenly as he arrived, Lan Qiren goes away, leaving the two boys alone. Lan Xichen quickly grabs his failed letters and puts them down on the floor so they won't be seen. He hasn't managed to write one that satisfies him, and so they cannot be shared. At the same time, being in front of Nie Huaisang makes it feel as though words are stuck in his throat, so simply saying those things might not work either.

For a long while, the two of them remain as they are, Lan Xichen sitting with his eyes down, Nie Huaisang standing nearby. Lan Xichen knows he should make tea and light the incense so that at least they know how long to put up with this unbearable tension, but his body won't obey. He jolts in surprise when he hears Nie Huaisang open a fan, and again when the other boy comes to sit across from him, eyes challenging even if most of his face is hidden.

The fan is the one Lan Xichen secretly gifted him. His heart twists. For this too he'll have to come clean. He doubts the fan will ever be used again after. Still, it must be done.

Lan Xichen takes a deep breath, and puts on a smile.

"Nie gongzi, I must apologise for my actions last week. I shouldn't have…"

“I would not sleep with Wen Chao rather than you,” Nie Huaisang cuts him, still glaring from behind his fan. “That was mean, and untrue, and I shouldn’t have said that. For the rest, I'm not sorry. ”

It’s a stupid detail, and Lan Xichen didn’t believe that had been said earnestly because Wen Chao is an awful little monster. Yet it still makes him feel a little lighter. His pride took a severe blow already, he doesn’t think he could survive ranking lower than Wen Chao.

“So, Jin Zixuan…”

Nie Huaisang shrugs, frowning slightly before raising his fan so he can hide more fully. What little lightness Lan Xichen had regained is crushed by that confirmation.

“Do you like him?” he asks, desperately trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Just as a friend. And he doesn’t like boys that way. We were just kind of bored one day. It was a stupid thing to do, and it was even more stupid to tell you about it.”

“Then why tell me?”

Again, Nie Huaisang shrugs.

“I figured hurting you would make me happy. It did, but not as much as I thought it would. I didn’t like seeing you cry.”

It certainly worked. Even now, Lan Xichen can barely keep the pain under control.

“I’m sorry?”

Nie Huaisang snorts and lowers his fan, showing a crooked, uncertain smile.

“If you’re going to apologise, at least do it for something that’s actually your fault. I can give you a list.”

"Do it."

“What?”

Lan Xichen takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly, grounding himself.

“Give me a list of the ways I’ve wronged you. I know I have not treated you right, and I’m ready to apologise, but I don’t know where to start. Tell me and I’ll make amends.”

"It'll be a long list," Nie Huaisang sneers, bitterness seeping through his voice.

"I know. But I know that I've hurt you, and that I have been unfair to you. Not just unfair, I have been cruel. That was wrong of me, and you have every right to hate me. I apologise for that. If you tell me more precisely which of my words and actions have hurt you, I will apologise for that specifically and endeavour to not repeat those mistakes. If you are willing to hear me, I have also come up with some ideas so that when we are married, it impacts your life as little as possible."

The look Nie Huaisang gives him is not a kind one. It’s not cruel either, though. Lan Xichen feels like a horse being inspected by buyers at a fair.

"I will give this due consideration," Nie Huaisang says at last, raising his fan again.

“Thank you.”

Nie Huaisang’s grasp on his fan tightens, and his eyes narrow. “Aren’t you upset that I’m not just forgiving you? Isn’t that what you were expecting?”

“Honestly, that you’d even listen to me at all is already more than I was hoping for,” Lan Xichen admits.

The confession appears to startle Nie Huaisang who gives him another long, appraising look before hesitantly closing his fan.

"So what happens now?" Nie Huaisang asks, looking as uncertain as Lan Xichen feels.

"The choice is yours. I feel I have no right to make demands. Though I know…" Lan Xichen hesitates. "I'd like to be friends, if you think that's possible. I think we could be, if we just try."

"You mean if I try."

Lan Xichen doesn't answer right away because yes, that's what he meant, but of course that's unfair. If he had been kinder in his youth, if he had paid more attention this year too, they wouldn’t have ended up like this.

"I must make efforts as well. I know I have been unkind to you. I will continue making amends and try harder to show you I'm sincere."

"Then act sincere," Nie Huaisang snaps. "Do you know how annoying it is to see you all controlled and perfect like this? People call your brother cold, but you're worse!"

Lan Xichen blinks at the accusation and smiles. He can't help it, it's a habit. Between his sullen uncle, his absent father, and reluctant brother, someone in this family has to make a show of goodwill when things get tense.

Of course, Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes.

"Exactly like that. I think the only moments I've seen you express a real emotion were our last meeting, and at Wen Chao's wedding! It's so frustrating! How can anyone be friends with you like this? I don't get how Mingjue put up with it, honestly."

"I'm not like that with him," Lan Xichen admits. "I feel safe enough for that."

"But you don't feel safe with me," Nie Huaisang comments, nervously playing with his closed fan.

Lan Xichen nods uncertainly.

"I have always been taught that I need to be polite above all else. People expect it of me. I thought you would want that as well. If you prefer, I'll… try to be more open."

Nie Huaisang doesn’t look like he believes Lan Xichen actually will. He’s not wrong to doubt him. It won’t be easy. He can do it with Nie Mingjue because they’ve become friends before he really learned to control himself and Nie Mingjue won't let him hide, but to let someone else in, that’s…

"And what should I do, then?" Nie Huaisang asks. “I know what annoys me about you, there’s got to be things you wish you’d change about me.”

The only thing Lan Xichen would change, if he could, is the way Nie Huaisang feels about him. That, obviously, is not an option, so he settles for the closest thing to it.

"Give me a chance. A real one. I meant it, I think we could be friends. We like a lot of the same things, and we made a good team in Nightless City. I won’t ask for anything else but I… I like you. I really do. And if we could get along…”

“We’ve tried that already,” Nie Huaisang remarks with a pointed look at the place where they usually put their incense stick. They forgot this time.

Lan Xichen grimaces, though all his carefully crafted instincts tell him to smile. This is a test, even if Nie Huaisang may not intend it as such. He has been asked for openness, and he must try to deliver.

“I don’t want to get along for an alliance,” he explains, “or because we’re ordered to. I want us to be friends because even after… after what happened, I like the idea of spending time with you. I really want to be able to chat with you. You are funny, when you forget you’re talking to me, and I think you’re one of the cleverest people I know. I like the way you paint, I want to be able to talk about that too, because neither Wangji nor Mingjue care about it. I like when we play Go, you’re the most interesting opponent I’ve ever had even if you cheated last time. It’s fine if you don’t like me the way I like you, but maybe you can learn to not hate me at least?”

Early into that explanation, Nie Huaisang’s fan opened and rose again. Even like this, Lan Xichen can see hints of a blush so intense it creeps on his entire face, up to the root of his hair.

“Lan gongzi, you’re mocking me,” Nie Huaisang mumbles.

“Hm. If I try to be more open with you, you’ll have to try to believe me in return,” Lan Xichen points out, as gently as he can when he feels the sting of his efforts being dismissed this way.

"Then at least say something believable! You’ve made it clear for years how much to despise you, am I supposed to just trust that you somehow changed your mind about me?”

“No, it can’t be that easy,” Lan Xichen sighs. “It’s fine. I’ll prove it to you, over time. I really do think highly of you now, even if I was too stupid to see your worth before. For this too, I’m sorry.”

Nie Huaisang curls up to better hide behind his fan, which Lan Xichen finds a little cute, but mostly sad. It should not be so difficult for Nie Huaisang to accept that others have noticed what a wonderful person he is. It will be something to work on. It won’t be too much of a chore to frequently compliment Nie Huaisang’s qualities until he accepts that Lan Xichen is earnest about that.

“Lan gongzi, you’re really too serious,” Nie Huaisang mutters. “I… I think I need a little time to think about all that. It was a lot. I know we didn’t light the incense but I think enough time has passed, no?”

Lan Xichen nods. “I think so too. We can continue talking next week.”

Closing his fan, Nie Huaisang hums, throwing his fiancé another long, appraising look before standing up.

“We’ll see,” he says at last. Instantly Lan Xichen feels disappointed and wonders how he will convince his uncle to accept that the meetings must stop, but Nie Huaisang turns his back on him and adds: “Maybe we’ll talk before next week.”

At this, Lan Xichen’s heart is sent racing. It’s such a small thing, not even a promise, and yet it’s already so much.

“I’m always happy for your company, Nie gongzi.”

Nie Huaisang only shrugs at that, and doesn’t look back before he leaves the house. Still, it feels like a step in the right direction, and Lan Xichen finds himself hoping.

Not for love, he’s not that naive. Not for friendship either, not yet, not for a long time he suspects. But he hopes that at least, they can finally learn to be near each other without pain. After all that happened, it would already change everything between them.

#xisang #worst engagement au #jau writes #it's a long chapter at over 5K #also I'll probably not update for a few days since I need to figure out a few things for this AU #and also partner's birthday is coming!! gotta write a fic for them!! this takes absolute priority now!!!#anyway enjoy lxc being utterly miserable the way everyone wanted him to be during phase 1 :D

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fanfictrashdump · 4 years

Text

Universe in a Jar, 2 - Phase 4 fic

Recap: Some days ago, I reblogged this post about the magical trio. And then my brain went off on a monumental tangent and, I wrote Universe in a Jar.

Characters: Stephen Strange, Loki, Wanda Maximoff, OC

Rating: T?

Warnings: Language! Embarrassing use of euphemisms, mourning, grief, mention of parent death, flirting is you squint, neurological disorders, attempted accidental murder, and typos probs.

Summary: Baby-sitting beings arguably more powerful than him goes awry for Doctor Strange. He knows one person who can possibly keep them isolated and out of trouble. Well, he knew someone who could… he hasn’t seen them in decades and for stupid reasons.

Persephone paused at the kitchen entrance, steeling her resolve and gathering the courage to walk past the table to get herself a cup of coffee. The notion that she would have to make herself brave enough to get something in her own home was ridiculous, but her kitchen was currently full of magic beings, as it had been every day for the past week. That wasn't the bit that made her hesitant, not being strictly ordinary herself. It was the man bent over a bowl of blackberries, freshly plucked off of a bush out back, that made her anxious. It was the superimposition of the familiar sight, her friend picking out twigs, leaves and the occasional caterpillar from the fruit, with the dull memory of a storybook villain who laid her whole feelings to waste.

"Morning! There's coffee and I'm making pancakes!" Wanda announced, much more cheery than she had been in a long while. The silence and lack of activities of their little haven in rural Nebraska had given her plenty of time to deal with unpleasant feelings. The witch tossed a half dozen pancakes in the air, all of them flipping perfectly back onto the griddle with no mess. Some people were blessed with better magic than her, Seph realized a little bitterly. "They have blaaackberries!"

"Oh. I, um, yeah–"

Stephen made a small noise of amusement. "I got strawberries for you. I know you think blackberries taste too purple."

She was forced to look up at the face she had been dreading for a whole week. The corner of Stephen's mouth twitched upwards briefly in a not unkind manner. Purple splotches stained the front of his t-shirt, a sight that took her back to days of youth when they would fill their shirts with berries and stuff themselves under a shady tree. Clearly, he had not yet learned another method to carry produce.

"That is not a thing, I assure you," Loki quipped with a smirk. He had helped himself to a book from Seph's library and had kicked his feet up on another chair, watching as the other two tinkered with breakfast.

"I have synesthesia. So, it is, actually, a thing."

She skirted past the men to the coffee maker, pouring herself a fresh cup and helping herself to the milk and sugar that had been left beside it. Wanda was good at this homemaker lark, considering Seph felt like she was an esteemed guest in her own home. Wanda had remarked several times that she liked to make people feel welcome and that she felt guilty for dropping in with the 'Magic Castle rejects' and causing 'unwarranted levels of trauma'. Seph had reassured her that she was fine with the company and it wasn't even bad to have Stephen around, but there was always an edge in her voice and a hint of mistruth in her voice that failed to convince the other woman.

"What in this Midgardian Hel is synesthesia?"

"Mis-wired sensory neurons." Stephen and Persephone answered in unison, startling each other and sharing a long, tense look before she continued. "My taste and sight are a little crossed."

"So your brain is broken." Despite the bluntness of his statement, Loki did not sound mean, more curious.

"More like it perceives differently."

"Mm." He was quiet for a long time after that one hum. The only noise in the kitchen being the sizzle of pancakes and the occasional sip of coffee. "How do you perceive portals? Do you feel the energy and shape it?"

Seph tilted her head in thought. She knocked Loki's legs from the chair and sank into the seat. Stephen and Wanda pretended to be engrossed in their task of making pancakes while they eavesdropped on the conversation. "No. It's like… have you ever seen those forests in a bottle? With like the microplants and worms, and you water it and close it. And it'll basically a self-sustaining entity as long as you don't open it? I see it like that, but the bottle is very flexible and bigger on the inside. Like the TARDIS."

"The what?"

"Time and relative dimension in space. It's a space and time travel machine. It's bigger on the inside," Stephen explained, mixing his fourth cup of coffee of the morning, which did not help with the shaking of his hands but it did wonders to quell his nauseous anxiety.

Loki's eyes widened with excitement. "Where can we acquire one?"

Seph smiled, reaching over to pat Loki's hand. "It's a television show, buddy. It's not real."

"Then why bring it into the conversation?"

"It was a good comparison. I didn't know quality entertainment was so lacking in Asgard." The atmosphere shifted subtly and Seph looked up from her cup of coffee to see all three magicians tense. "What?" More silence followed. Stephen's eyes flittered to Loki and everything made sense. This Loki had not lived through the chaos of moving his people to Earth. She then remembered Wanda giving her an update on everyone a few days ago and how he had not really taken everything all too well… fuck. "Oh. Oh, shit, I'm sorry, Loki."

The Asgardian smiled, a calm, bright expression that looked a little forced. "No worries."

Pushing the coffee away, she angled her body to Loki's and grasped his hand. "It's OK to be sad about losing a home that never truly accepted you, Lo–"

Stephen rolled his eyes and muttered. "Here we go."

Seph groaned, closing her eyes to settle herself. "No one's talking to you, Stephen!"

"Bleeding heart."

"Scalpel jockey."

He scoffed. "You could've done any specialty, chosen any residency–"

"And that's what I did. Not all of us are content hacking into people's heads."

"Not content in making a real difference, you mean?"

"Yes, tell me how that surgical career is working for you right now, Strange!" It was a low blow, she knew, and there was almost a feeling of guilt as he closed his fists to mask the shuddering of his hands self-consciously.

"I'm sure your business is booming. A couple of global catastrophes have probably got the nutjobs flocking to the brilliant psychiatrist, Dr. Hale."

Seph let out a disdainful laugh. "Considering most of my patients are kids who can suddenly levitate shit around their room or accidentally set things on fire, yes. My business is booming. If only the Earth had a protector that would keep global catastrophes from happening and triggering powers in scared kids." She swigged from her coffee and leaned back in her chair. "At least they have someone to talk to."

He slammed his own cup onto the kitchen table and chuckled. "And there it is! We talked almost twenty minutes without you bringing it up, Seph. Good job! You're getting bett–"

His cutting remarks were cut off abruptly, leaving only an odd mutter and the thumping of fist on glass. Around him, walls of a shimmery energy created a box and closed off all noise from the Sorcerer Supreme. His protests sounded like they were coming from underwater, though the walls were clear and solid to the touch. It almost looked like a specimen jar for entomologists–a killing jar.

"He's quiet, at the very least," Loki remarked, turning to give Seph a smile only to find her hazel eyes glowing as if they were leaking light, contrasting starkly with her dark skin. Her hands were shoulder width apart. Distractedly, she tilted her head, curls shifting slightly, and brought her hands closer together. The box rippled, and with it Strange coughed, suddenly panting for breath as he thumped his fist on the wall. "Persephone. Seph. Seph!" The woman showed no signs of hearing him, intensely focused on just the box and her prey. "Wanda!"

Wanda turned from the stove, midway through an eye roll before she dropped her spatula and swirling a large red orb in her hands and directing it towards the glass. The barrier shimmered but barely moved. Loki worked green and golden magic over Seph, trying to break through the blocks in her mind, but was becoming continually distracted by Stephen trying to magic his way out of the enclosure until he slumped forward, breathing shallowly.

"Come on, Seph. You need to let him go. It's not going to help." His eyes drifted to Strange. The sling ring had his magic flicker shortly before dying. Something about that box was not letting him enchant. "Persephone, killing him won't make it better. Believe me. Knowing the person who made you suffer is dead only gives you more grievances."

Wanda surrounded the bottle with her magic. It deformed and shifted, but was no closer to breaking apart to when she started. "I need help and Strange doesn't have long."

"Switch!" Loki turned his attention to the box, his magic making the whole thing shudder.

Wanda had taken his place and was fluttering her fingers beside Seph's temple, red tendrils flowing between them in an effort to access the other's mind. She frowned. "She's… she's keeping me out. How is she doing this? This shouldn’t be possible."

"Impossible is our specialty. Just keep trying." Loki grit his teeth, drawing and gathering his magic and concentrating it in one small, brilliant pebble. With a grunt of effort, he shot the projectile at the glass and a small crack appeared. "Oh for fuck's sake!"

He repeated the process several times until the crack extended and opened just enough for air to flow in. Stephen breathed a little easier but was still looking weak, his skin sallow and pale; lips a sickly purple. With one last growl, Loki’s magic exploded outward, and the box shattered with a spine-quivering screech. He barely had the time to snatch the Sorcerer before he collapsed on the ground.

Seph inhaled sharply, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs from her mind, and opened her eyes to find all three guests staring at her with furrowed brows and narrowed gazes. Her gaze connected with Wanda, who still had her magic at the ready, to Stephen who was hanging off Loki's shoulder, desperately moving air into his lungs, to Loki who just looked concerned. On the floor, shards of shimmering glass rested, shaking to some unknown Universal vibration pattern before disappearing.

"Well, at the very least, he'll know not to antagonize you, now," Loki quipped, breaking the tense silence.

"Loki, no–" Stephen groaned, watching Seph disappearing from the kitchen, her footsteps echoing up the stairs.

About an hour later, Seph heard her bedroom door squeak open. She sat up like a shot and shuffled back against the headboard. Stephen closed the door behind him, his eyes fixed on her shaking form.

"Don't. Just, go back outside. I'll stay here. I–I can't be anywhere near any of you," she rambled, eyes wide and glittering with tears.

"It's a house full of magicians, we'll survive." He placed a stack of strawberry pancakes soaked in syrup on the bedside table. "You should eat. That kind of display… you should be exhausted right now. Why aren't you exhausted?" The question he tacked onto the end sounded rhetorical.

Reluctantly, she grabbed the plate just as her stomach growled. She picked at the pancakes before taking a bite. She winced at the taste, the color was too vibrant, too in-your-face. Stephen had definitely not had a hand in making these. He was terrible, but he remembered details like it was no one's business. Swallowing the bite, she put the plate back, wincing. With little warning, Stephen had pulled her hand towards him, a handful of long scratches etched into her palm, like the shattering of the box had recoiled into her hands.

"What? You hurt yourself and you don't say anything?" He tutted under his breath, bringing the other hand to his inspection to find similar scratches.

"Stop."

"I'll have to get the First Aid kit–"

"Loki, stop!"

Stephen frowned, eyes narrowing. "Loki?"

"Loki. Stop. Now."

The Sorcerer stared for another minute, face tight, before the glamour shimmered and faded in its entirety. "How did you know?"

She turned her hands to tap on his palms, held out steadily to hold hers. "He lets them shake when he's focused on something else. And the food was a little too bright."

"I knew I should've asked him to make it." He sighed, shrugging before gesturing for her hands back. "Let's have a look, pet." After a second's hesitation, she returned her hands and left them to his mercy. His magic stung her palms, but she remained still, occasionally sucking air through her teeth at the sensation of rapid healing.

"I thought you didn't like him." She said, out of the blue, but he immediately understood.

"He's been decent enough." He paused for another moment. "I'm also certain there is some sort of cosmic balance that would gravely suffer if that bother of a human is killed.” He waved his hands in a flourish and grinned. “There we go."

"I'm sorry."

Loki frowned. "What ever for?"

"You guys are supposed to be laying low and recuperating not dealing with a fool with no sense of control."

"No control? Persephone, you wanted to kill Strange."

"Exactly! I–"

"No. You misunderstand me." He leaned down to level their stared. "You wanted to kill Strange. I could see it in your mind but I couldn't break through. You have excellent control. Which is why I had to go for the box and not your mind. I would've had to kill you to break the magic, if I had."

"So, I'm a psychopath?"

He laughed, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing her knuckles. "No, dear. You're just very angry at him. I hate to say it, but you might have to talk this through like adults."

Seph frowned. "Have you ever tried to have a conversation with Stephen Strange?"

"Yes. It was painful." He laughed. "He's not unreasonable, though. He's just a bit of a…"

"Control freak?"

He smirked and nodded. "Your adjective is kinder."

"Usually is." The pair glanced over at the door to see Stephen leaning against the frame, arms crossed. "I was always the asshole in the duo."

Seph made an annoyed noise in the back of her throat. "Do none of you knock? Were you all raised in a barn?"

Stephen snorted. "We grew up in the middle of nowhere, Nebraska, where we, quite literally, spent most of our free time in a barn. You're lucky we speak in complete sentences given the public education system here."

"I know your mother taught you how to knock, Stephen Strange."

He rolled his eyes, quickly getting frustrated. "And yours taught you how to be polite. We both failed our mothers, it seems."

Seph's eyes flashed briefly and Loki made a warning noise loud enough to break her out of the glowing trance. "Have you learned nothing, you idiot?" Turning back to her, he smiled. "What he means to say is, memories have made him miserable and pent up all week and it’s making him snarky, but he is ready to give up the torture of having you angry at him."

"I haven't been miserable and pent up." Stephen’s tone was indignant and his chin jutted out defiantly. Loki was there to match his haughty tone with one of his own.

"Oh, so the self-immolation in her name was a coincidence?"

"I wasn't–"

She mouthed the phrase to herself several times, turning it over in her mind. Stephen looked fine, little scratches and scars from attempting to wrangle the other two, aside. Her doctorly instincts were not sounding any alarm bells that usually came on when she suspected any type of self harm. Was he maybe mentally torturing himself? "Self-immola–? Oh my god." She could barely look at either of the men. She definitely did not have to know what any of them got up to in the privacy of their own rooms. "Stephen!"

"I wasn't! Are you seriously listening to him about this?" He defended, though there was a jerky sort of nervousness in his movements and his cheeks blazed red.

Loki mouthed 'he was' at her and Seph covered her face with a pillow because suffocating in the fabric was a better alternative to this conversation. "Midgardians are such prudes, honestly. You're a beautiful woman and what I can presume is a source of comfort to him. He was very respectful of you in his thoughts–"

"How long were you watching me?"

"Long enough to respect your endurance.” Movement caught his attention. “Darling, where are you going?" Seph had thrown herself out of bed and was marching towards her closet, only to find that the door wouldn't budge. Same happened to the main door, en suite, wardrobe, even the drawers in her dresser. She wasn't going anywhere and Loki had made sure that every avenue of escape was unavailable.

Stephen scoffed. "Well, I can still lea–" He patted down his pockets and let out a groan. "Loki!"

"Looking for this?" The god held Stephen's sling ring between his thumb and index. "You can have it back when you've made nice."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I am done being in the middle of conflicts. I didn't like it five hundred years ago and I don't like it now. I detest having to scramble to keep her from killing you. This is the third time this week. Every time you anger her, the response is stronger." Stephen opened his mouth to protest, but Loki marched on. "What happens when her emotion and rage outweigh her control? I barely freed you today. Next time, she will succeed."

The Sorcerer rolled his eyes, ever the dramatic soul. "Yes, tell me how you'll weep."

"It'll barely register in my mind but it will destroy her, Strange!" The men’s argument was catching momentum fast, complete with random pointing in her direction and very colorful expletives.

"Could you not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" She murmured, just as the screaming match between the two started to elevate, scuffing her feet on the ground with a pout.

Loki swallowed the, no doubt acidic, retort he had poised on his tongue. "Apologies, flower. I meant no disrespect." He gave her an encouraging smile, holding his hand out to her. "But this is an issue that must be resolved sooner rather than later." After a moment's hesitation, she slapped her hand into his with a sigh and he chuckled. "Don't seem so enthusiastic."

"It's not about holding your hand–," she defended quickly, her eyes rounding with sadness as she fell back into her spot on the mattress.

"I was kidding, darling." He glanced at the Sorcerer. "Stephen."

"I'm not holding your hand, dude," he retorted instantly.

"Good. I've seen where it's been, I don't want it near me at the moment." Seph giggled quietly and Loki looked extremely pleased with himself at the sound. Stephen frowned, jealousy gnawing at his stomach. "Stop pouting, Strange. It's unbecoming."

"He doesn't deal well with negative emotions. So, he pouts a lot."

"I do not!"

"And denies negative feelings. Acknowledging them means he didn't successfully lock them into a tiny chest, wrapped them in chains and dropped them into the ocean."

"You're making me sound like a sociopath."

Seph fixed him with a raised brow look. "Where's the lie?"

Irritation clouded his speckled blue gaze, expression falling into the bored mask he usually wore. "Alright, this was a mistake. Loki, let me out."

"When's the last time you cried, Stephen?"

"Don't analyze me, Hale." His hissed tone would have intimidated a lesser human, but she remained as passive as ever.

"It's a simple question, bud. I want to know how irritating you're going to be through this conversation."

"Does it matter?"

"It makes my point. You've always been awful with expressing yourself because you've convinced yourself that whatever asshole mask you put on makes you seem more mature. If you–"

"Match day."

"What?"

"Match day. I haven't really cried since residency match day. We weren't talking and you went off to Chicago and I stayed in New York. That's when I knew I lost you."

Loki leaned into her and asked under his breath. "When was that?"

"Decade and a half ago."

His eyes bugged out at her before turning back to Strange. "Decad–what is wrong with you?"

"You've had ample crying in the last decade and a half, have you?"

"I've had ample crying in the last ten and a half days. What the fuck is broken inside you?"

"Hey! Be nice!" Seph snapped, glaring at the god.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Abandoned you for your powers when you were at your lowest?"

"Oh. Right."

A long pause followed.

"I didn't know how to go back," Stephen admitted quietly. "I stood outside your building for three months. I could never knock. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the look on your face when I blew up at you… I knew I couldn't fix it. I still do."

Despite the ice that flowed through his veins, he couldn’t not stare back at the accusatory glare in her eyes. "I flew back home alone."

"I know."

"I identified her body alone."

"I know."

"I buried her alone. She loved you like you were hers and you didn't show up to her funeral, Stephen. I just…" Tears cut off the rest of her sentence, a sob gripping her throat. After a long while, she sniffled, wiping messily at her face. She chanced a look at him, his expression hard and his left eye twitching the same way it did when he was particularly upset about something. Twenty years and she could still tell when he was shoving his guilt down. "You're the one who leaves her flowers." Seph sighed, thinking about the bouquet of violets that were always there whenever she visited her mother's grave, and the fact that in recent times, it seemed like the visits had risen exponentially. Which made sense, since he could open a portal to the other side of the country at any given time.

He shrugged. "You leave mine flowers, too." He sighed, glancing hard at the floor. "I didn't forget my whole damn life just because you weren't speaking to me, Seph."

"To not have been speaking to you requires an effort for you to speak to me, wouldn't there?"

"She has a point."

"Shut up, Loki."

"Just moderating, Strange."

"I was stupid and scared. I went to you for everything. Feeling happy, feeling sad, stressed–you were the go-to for advice. Ironically, the person I would've asked for advice on how to approach you… was you." He forced a chuckle, feeling ridiculous. "Much like, full disclosure, the person I asked dating advice for was also you."

She cackled. "Yeah. No shit, Sherlock. I asked you what your mystery girl liked and it sounded like you were reading from my diary. You weren't exactly subtle."

"I threw in some bad information."

"You said she might be into girls."

Stephen's mouth flapped open several times before he dragged a hand down his face. "In retrospect, yeah, I pretty much described you, but I wasn't sure if you were into both."

"We went on three separate dates, you just didn't fucking notice!"

"And you were attracted to him?" Loki interrupted, eyes narrowed and looking between the two. "Were there no other options in lovers?"

"Shut up, Loki!" They replied in unison.

Seph smiled sadly, her fingers absently trailing over Loki's in an effort to distract her mind. "I would've forgiven you the second you knocked on my door if you had just apologized and meant it. Not something out of obligation or because I was literally your last resort."

"I'm not good at admitting when I'm wrong. You know that."

"Truly a tragedy, considering you're wrong a lot of the time, even if you swear up and down that you’re right," she teased, sounding like a well-practiced jab.

There was a bit of amusement lighting up Stephen's face. "I get one question wrong on a test, thirty years ago and it's all you ever talk about the rest of our lives."

"I also got a better score than you on the MCAT, so…"

He barked out a laugh. "I hate you so much." The smile slowly melted from his face, leaving behind a passive expression. He felt relaxed, less uptight. Whether that was due to the tension in the air lifting the slightest bit or the fact that he could feel her familiar aura as he had for so much of his life, he didn't know. "I'm really sorry, Peep. Leaving you is a regret I'll take to my grave."

Her nose scrunched at the long-forgotten nickname and shook her head, deciding that she knew better than to tell him to forget that endearment ever existed. "I'm sorry I tried to kill you, I guess. In my defense, you were asking for it."

"That's fair."

"Did I hurt you?"

He smirked. "Crushed my lungs a bit. Nothing permanent." He tilted his head. “Why? Is it going to become a common occurrence?”

Persephone's face clouded. "I don’t know, Stephen. It’s a process. I can’t just–”"

“You can’t just forgive him like nothing happened. He understands.” Loki pinched her cheek playfully, leaving her to bat it away with an irritated pout. "Hold your grudge. Keep it for as long as you need, but don't let it poison you. Stupid things happen when you let grief color your perception."

"Whatever. I promise not to murder him, at the least.” Heavy expression fell on the Asgardian, next. “Also, if you ever use the phrase self-immolate in your name, again, I will punch you in the face. I didn't need to know that."

"I WASN'T!"

"I don't care if you did. I don't want to know while I'm still really pissed at you. Got it?"

Both of the men mumbled a "fine" under their breaths before a collective click resounded around the room. They were free once more. Stephen hesitated at the door, his demeanor giving off the impression that he was building up to say something. Seph watched him expectantly only to have him drop his shoulders and turn on his heel, twisting the doorknob to make a hasty retreat.

"Him? Of all people? Really?"

Seph laughed, rolling her eyes. "He was the boy next door. And he's always been pretty hot."

"You can do better." His voice was smooth and rumbly and made her raise her eyebrows.

"I think you mean I can do worse."

Loki smirked. "Norns, I hope you do."

#marvel #MCU #MCU loki #mcu doctor strange #mcu wanda maximoff #Stephen Strange #Loki #Wanda Maximoff #marvel phase 4 #multiverse #original character #we're making it up as we go #MCU fanfiction #mcu fanfic #fanfiction #Universe in a Jar

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concentrateandpush · 4 years

Text

Who's the Daddy?

-WARNING-

This story mentions abortion.

So, it all started about 8 weeks ago.. I went out with the girls, it was such a good night and I saw a guy I used to date, Tyler. We were together when we were younger and I fell pregnant, he didn't want the baby, I did but he won and I got rid of it. After that, he couldn’t look at me because of the guilt he felt for forcing me to abort my own baby.

He looks older, he feels like a man now and not like the boy I used to know. "Hey, Cassie May" he says softly, touching my right arm. "Tyler Jay.. how are you? It's been.. a long time" I smiled at him. The girls in my peripheral vision are shaking their heads and I can see Emmy mouthing "Don’t even think about it". One drink, two drinks, three drinks and I'm back at his.

His room looks way more grown up, he has a double bed now.. where's the movie posters gone Tyler? Back to the future was his favourite. I know what he wants, if I'm honest, I cant even remember if we had good sex and I've had sex with way too many men to remember our sex. But I remember the phrases he would use, the words he would initiate with and that he liked my birthmark on my right upper thigh.

"You okay with this?" He asks as he removes my dress, I nod, he pulls my tights off and starts kissing my thighs. His body feels new, like a guy I've never slept with, I'm not familiar at all and I'm not sure if he is. He climbs up and starts to kiss me, he used to taste like orange tic tacs but he doesn’t now. As I feel his tongue on mine, I feel him inside me, he's big and he knows what he's doing. He thrusts deeper and harder the more we go along and circles my areolas with his thumbs.

It lasts a long time, I climax no less that 3 times and then he makes that face, this is the moment I remember him, that deviant look in his eye as he injects me with his sperm again causing my body to shake with anxiety remembering that the last time he did this, the time he implanted his young and made me kill it. "Get off" I scream at him, he looks scared, like he just did something he shouldn't have. "You said it was okay?" He bites quickly and reaches for my arm. "Don’t touch me" I shout as I run to the corner of the room, what am I doing? I knew what was going to happen, I knew he would want sex.

I call Emmy and it's like shes been expecting the call "Em, please come and get me, I'm at Tyler’s" I say as I dress myself before running down the stairs. "Cassie" he shouts after me "Cassie, we didn’t have to do that, it was okay if you just wanted to hang out" he says softly. "Tyler, it's not you, I wanted you to do that, I just.. I didn't expect to freak out, it's the.. the last time you had sex.." I try to explain but I cant bring myself to say it.

"I know" he says softly "I know I was hard on you, and I mean.. it turned out okay didn’t it? I mean we would have a 10 year old, were only 24 Cassie" he adds. I feel my body wanting to throw up, is he trying to justify what I did? Is he trying to say what he did was right. I just look at him, staring.. wondering what our child would have looked like.. and then there she is, Emmy hoots her horn, she's outside.

She lectured me the entire way home, "You know what he made you do, against your will".. "He took a choice from you that was yours".. amongst a million "I told you so's". Neither of us quite knew where this was all going to go, until now, 8 weeks later.

I don’t know why I'm doing this test, I know I'm pregnant. I feel nauseous, bloated, my boobs hurt and my period? What period? Why, out of every guy I've slept with, is it him who gets me pregnant.. twice. There it is, two little lines, two pink lines.. what the fuck am I meant to do now. "Cassie? Cassie?! What are you doing? You've been in there ages.. CASSIE?" My brother shouts.

"Um two minutes" I shout.. my brother, Joe, and I are close, he hates Tyler. He's going to kill me. I put the test in my back pocket, open the door and run over to my room. "She's feisty today" he laughs and then realises I'm crying. I'm lying in my bed, facing the wall and I hear him come in softly. "What is it Cas?" He strokes my hair and says "It doesn't matter what it is, you can tell me".

"I did it again" I say, softly. "Did what? Cas, what are you on about?" He asks. He is so patient, we've always been so close, he has always been my biggest fan. "I went out with the girls.. a while ago now and I bumped into Tyler" he nods at me, innocently having no idea what I'm going to say next. "I slept with him" I say, quickly. "He's such a dick Cas, I dont know why you.. why are you telling me this now?" I watch the cogs turn in his mind and his face turns green "You're not.. are you?" he says softly and I nod in response.

"You're so fucking stupid Cas, you know how horrible he was last time, you know you're worth way more than he offers you.. Cassie, you-", I cut him off, "I know all this, Joe.. I know" I say laying on my bed holding my stomach. "You're keeping it" he snaps "There is no way you're getting rid of it, I saw how much it damaged you before, you were a shell of a girl for years." I nod "Yeah I-" he stops me and says "No excuses Cas.. wait, what?". "I'm keeping this baby Joe, I'm not telling him, I know he wont want it, it's my choice, he doesn’t need to know" I say as I rub my stomach. "Oh, Cas" he says tearfully as he holds me letting me nuzzle in to his neck.

Now my brother knows.. there's only one other person I need to tell.. Emmy, my stomach is in knots, I call her and tell her to come over. She walks in with a McDonalds "You on? You sound all hormonal and stuff" she says as she throws the bag at me, how does she even know? "Emmy" I say seriously knowing it’ll make her listen. I reach into my hoodie pocket and hand her the test, she takes it off me and it takes a moment to process.. "No.. you're, you're pregnant?" she cries. "I'm pregnant" I cry with her.

"When did you find out?" She asks, "literally 15 minutes before I called you" I laugh. "Who's the dad Cassie?" She asks, then the penny drops "Not Tyler, anyone but Tyler..". I sit there and just shake my head crying, I don’t want it to be Tyler's, why couldn't it be anyone, literally anyone else’s. "I'm not telling him" I say firmly, "Too fucking right you aren’t telling him" she says in response.

The days have gone super fast and it's my 12 week scan today, I'm so excited, Emmy is coming too. I reach the hospital and wait in the waiting room for what feels like an eternity. "Cassie Rovers?" I hear my name on the tanoy. Oh God, that's me, Emmy gets up and walks over but I feel overwhelmed, everything has built up to this, I'm so ready but my body isn’t moving. Next thing you know I have a nurse kneeling at my lap and Emmy holding my hand "Count all the red things you can see", "Breathe with me", "In and out Cassie".. panic attacks, the bane of my life.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, it's an overwhelming experience, seeing your baby for the first time" the nurse says. I watch her spread the cold gel on my tiny bump and look around in there. "Here’s your baby" she smiles as she turns the screen to me "Do you want to know the sex?" She asks, I look at Emmy and she nods. "Yes please" I say eagerly. "Its a little girl" the nurse tells me smiling as I cry with my eyes shut and I feel Emmy hold my tight, crying herself.

I'm 32 weeks gone, baby is amazing, she kicks me every second of the day, which is getting painful the more she grows. Emmy moved in with us, her and Dave broke up and she stayed at mine most of the time, she has offered to help with baby until she finds somewhere. I'm currently lying in bed, I have to pick up the pram and crib today, I cant wait to get the nursery together now. I'm lucky my parents have such a huge house, I am blessed to not worry about money through this.

I feel like an invalid not being able to carry things, luckily Joe is home today so he can perform uncle duties and go to fetch the pram and crib for me. I need to grab some groceries when were out.. well, nutella.

People are so different, as I walk through this supermarket, people treat me so weirdly because of the bump. Fuck, its him, I haven't spoken to Tyler since I ran out of his apartment that night. Fuck. Fuck. "Hey Cassie May" he taps me from behind, I turn around and see him look down at my huge bump, he's with a girl.. "Hey, Tyler" I smile awkwardly looking at the girl with him "This is Amber.. my girlfriend" he says reluctantly as he looks at my belly.

I smile and wait for him to form conversation.. I know what's going through his head. "Ah when are you due?" Amber asks, she seems nice. "8 weeks left" I say smiling at her. "Ah we’ve just found out, I'm due in November" Amber says smiling at me. I don’t know how to handle this, how can I be okay with the fact that I'm also carrying his baby. not only that but he's happy with her keeping her baby, but made me.. I suppose he might have changed. I start hyperventilating, trying to gather myself and steady myself with he cart, everything is jumping out at me, I cant get my breathing right "Cassie?!" I see Emmy run for me before I collapse.

I come around on the floor of the store. "Cassie? Cassie are you okay?" Tyler asks, why is he still here?. "Yeah, I'm okay, did I fall?" I ask rubbing my bump protectively. "No I caught you" he says. "You've done enough damage, go on, leave" Emmy says angrily. "What have I done?" Tyler asks, both of them leaning over me at this point. Tyler looks at my bump, at me and then at Emmy and back to my bump. I don’t know what to say because, poor Amber is stood here newly pregnant and happy, I could keep it to myself.

"Am I missing something?" Amber asks as Emmy helps me off the floor, with difficulty. "No.. we should go" Tyler says as he pulls her away looking back at me.

It's later that night, 3AM, Emmy is sleeping, Joe is sleeping and Mom and Dad are out, drinking. I hear my phone buzz, "Come to the meeting point".. I know its Tyler instantly, we used to meet behind the garage in my garden, I look out and see him stood there, he looks drunk. I walk down the stairs cradling my baby bump in my dressing gown and out the garden causing the stone patio to make a noise and the garden lights to come on.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him anxiously. "Is it mine?" He asks, showing no emotion what so ever, I look down, I don’t know if I even want to tell him. "It is, isn’t it?" He says aggressively "Now everything in my life is coming together, you have to fuck it up for me" he rants. I turn around and begin to walk up to the house again, trying my best not to cry in front of him. "Fucking tell me" he shouts pulling me around to him. "Yes, she's yours, I don’t want you involved, you caused enough trouble last time" I say angrily as I storm up the path.

I notice he's gone quiet, no noise at all and I look up and the door that's a few foot in front of me. "I'll fucking do it" he shouts, I turn around and he's holding a gun to his head. "Tyler, put the gun down" I say walking towards him slowly, "You don’t want to do that" I say holding my hand out. "No, maybe you're right, maybe this bullet needs to go through someone else" he turns the gun on me and I start to panic. My hands start to shake and my legs go to jelly, I hold my belly and crouch down as far as I can "Please, Tyler, I will never tell her about you, I'll never tell Amber about this" I beg. "Shut up" he shouts kicking my foot as he cries. "Cassie? CASSIE" I hear my dad shout and run down the garden throwing himself on Tyler and then a gun shot sounds.

I’m crouched on the floor, hyperventilating and trying my best to move but I’m stiff. I hear my Mom run down shouting my Dads name and in no time, Joe and Emmy run down the stairs. Joe quickly runs in and takes the gun from Tyler and flips Dad over who is covered in blood. "Dad?! DAD" I shout as I pull myself over to him "I'm okay, I'm okay" he says as he pulls himself from Tyler as he still sobs on the floor. "My arm, that's all" he says as he stands up and I'm left on the floor looking at Tyler.

"You never come near me or my daughter, ever again" I tell him sternly as he stands. "Our daughter" he says before spitting on me and I just sit there crying. "Fuck" I moan, "Can you help me up?" I say to Emmy as she pulls my round, sore body from the grass. "I need to wash" I say walking up to the house, the ambulance already outside for my dad. "Cas" Emmy shouts to me, trying to check that I’m alright. "Not now, Em" I shout back walking in to the house. I get in the bathroom and lock myself in, crying out loud alone as I lean against the bath.

Two weeks has passed since that night. I'm okay, it's just so hard knowing this baby that I love so much, is his, yet he wanted to kill me. "Not long now" I say smiling as I rub my underbelly. I've been having Braxton hicks all night, they don’t seem to go when I'm moving.. but it's too early for labor. My stomach cramps up as I move positions, god, if Braxton hicks are this bad imagine labor. It's so intense, I breathe it out slowly with my eyes shut and I hear Emmy barge through the door.

"OMG what's happening?" She shouts as she sits on the bed next to me rubbing my bump "Lean on me, I'm right here I'm not going anywhere" she says softly as I nuzzle into her. Its stopped thank god. "It stopped" I sigh with relief. "What's happening" she demands. "Its okay, it's too early for labor, I'm only 34 weeks, and it's my first time, she's not coming yet" I say calmly as she looks at my seriously. "I think it's worth checking" she says before calling my midwife and asking her over.

She turns up around 10 minutes later, I made the choice to get the closest midwife to me. Once she’s in my room, I nervously pull my panties off and spread my legs. The check doesn’t hurt, but it’s certainly uncomfortable. "Baby is doing good and should be here today or tomorrow" the midwife smiles checking me over. "She cant be, I'm 6 weeks early" I say. "Sometimes we get things wrong, baby has measured large every scan so it's possible that you were further ahead than we said" she says and I look at Emmy panicked. "I'm going to head off, give me a call when things come together" she smiles and takes her bag out to the car driving off.

I lay on my bed for a few minutes before speaking, I look at Emmy and she hasn’t realised what this means. "Emmy, if I'm full term.. you understand what this means?" I ask as she smiles "yeah the baby's coming we get to meet her earlier". I shake my head "Emmy, its not Tyler’s" I say softly. Emmy goes nuts, shouting and screaming that I should have "worked it out sooner". "Who's is it?" She asks curiously. I cant concentrate on working this out with the pain I'm in, I lean my head back and breathe through the contraction taking deep breaths. I don’t know what’s more unsettling, the pain, the fact that I have no idea who the father is or that Emmy looks like she’s about to pass out seeing my wriggle in pain.

Once the contraction stops, I look back at my calendar working out people and parties.. its Simon's. Simon is a guy I went to uni with, he is so beautiful and kind, truly a gentleman. "I cant call him Em, I cant call someone I haven't spoken to since a drunk night out" I remember the night. "Simon asked me out, I told him I don’t date.. I woke up in his and he had made me breakfast. I didn’t speak to him after that, but he really is lovely.. I guess I was scared about how I felt for him. Hes been through so much. I love him to bits" I say softly. "You never said that about Tyler" Emmy says "not even as a throwaway comment.. maybe you should call him".

I pick up my phone and scroll through my contacts, Simon.. call. He picks up after the first ring. "Hey Simon, can we talk? I.. I'm so sorry that I have to tell you like this but I-I'm having a baby, like right now.. and it’s yours but if you don’t-, yeah, of course, its 143 Dreadwood Lane. See you in a minute". He's coming over.. how is he so nice.. "He's coming" I say to Emmy as she smiles.

The contractions are a lot harder to cope with, I'm having to squat, it's the only relief I can get. I hear the door and then Emmy talking his ears off. Is this really the first way I'll see him in all this time? I'm currently on all fours, in a baggy jumper and shorts, panting, sweating and trying not to scream. "Hey" he says, stood in the door holding a bunch of flowers looking down at me. He puts them on the side and kneels next to me putting his hand on my back, "Here, this should help" he says as he rubs my lower back. It does help, so much.

"I did a bit of googling on my way over" he laughs "Emmy said the contractions are close" he smiles. I nod "7 minutes apart". At this point everyone is in and out of my bedroom, Mom, Dad, Emmy, Joe and now Simon. But, Simon stays with me until this contraction ends. "I'm so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, if I'm being honest, I thought it was someone else’s. I thought I was 32 weeks but according to my midwife, I'm 41 weeks, making me overdue" I tell him. "Its okay, I'm sorry for the other guy, it must have been awful for him when he found out it wasn’t his baby" he says sincerely. "You have no idea.." I laugh.

"I'll always be here, I'll be a good Dad" he says. I look at him and smile "I know.. I know you will" I say softly. I don’t know if it's the hormones or just him but he is so attractive, I look at his brown eyes and his perfectly shaped lips. He leans forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. I see him moving in closer again and kissing me passionately. "Oh my god" Emmy shouts as she walks in, seeing me on top of Simon kissing him, she runs out and shuts the door and myself and Simon laugh.

A few hours pass, Simon's in the kitchen and Emmy comes in to the bedroom, the contractions are 5 minutes apart, my waters are still intact. "You dirty slag" Emmy says laughing at me and I laugh. "Your dad just told him about Tyler" she says. I nod at her and rub my bump leaning my head back feeling another contraction coming. "You're okay, breathe it through" she says softly brushing my hair from my face. "Its all in my back" I moan out as I breathe, Simon walks past the door and sees that I'm in pain and comes in to rub my back "That's it Cassie, good job" he says softly as I labor on my back, spreading my legs to ease the pressure. The contractions ends soon and I know I just need a second with the baby, nobody else.

"Can I have some time alone?" I ask Emmy and Simon, "if I need you I can call you back" I smile. I lay back and talk to baby as I rub my sore and swollen tummy. "Now, I need you to be super strong for me through this. I love you so much already and cant wait to meet you. I'm sorry I've not been the best through this pregnancy but I'm going to look after you forever and always" I say softly.

"So.. how come you're such a nice guy?" Emmy asks Simon. "What do you mean?" He replies, laughing a little. "Not many guys would hear that they're about to have a baby and actually turn up.. especially with flowers" she says bluntly. "Cassie hasn’t told you about us has she?" He says laughing as Emmy looks furious, clearly thinking I’ve withheld juicy information. "Nothing like that" he chuckles "My Mom.. she died when we were in uni, Cassie came back with me after a night out and my Mom had fallen, she had cancer and was pretty fragile. Cassie spent the night talking with her, stroking her hair, making her tea and doing crosswords. The next morning, I told my Mom that I'd marry Cassie even if it took the rest of my life, she said 'I'll do what I can from my side' and then she passed away". "That's beautiful and I’m sorry about your Mom, she would be so proud of you" Emmy says as she hugs Simon "Thank you for being here, she deserves someone like you, she's been through a lot".

I carry on talking to baby, just whispering and slowly rubbing small circles around my tummy. It gets pretty intense and I lean back against the headboard as I get over a contraction, as I move back I hear a pop and feel a gush between my legs. "Guys" I shout "GUYS" I shout even louder with a slight moan. Simon runs in first, Emmy to follow and then my Mom, Dad and Joe. "Okay, my waters have broke, I need someone to call my midwife, someone to take me to the hospital and I need my bag" I order, almost like my maternal instincts took over and I felt okay to dictate what happened. "I want Simon and Emmy with me when I go to the hospital" I say hoping I won’t offend my parents and Joe.

The journey to the hospital was fast and my contractions are on top of each other now. Before we get out of the car, I tell my birthing partners "Right, I'm doing this as naturally as possible okay? No epidurals, nothing foreign goes inside my body" Emmy nods and Simon salutes me "Yes boss" he smiles at me before picking me up with ease and carrying me into the hospital. The midwife meets us and takes us to the room, luckily, thanks to private healthcare, I get a birthing suite. "Okay sweetheart, here's your gown, get comfortable, I'm just going to get my stuff and I'll be back".

As she leaves I get a contraction and it cramps my entire body, Simon is still holding me at this point and I turn to him and shout "don’t you dare put me down" as I moan and scream through the pain. It's almost constant, now, the contractions, they’re one on top of the other. Eventually it dies down and Emmy undresses me and helps me into my gown when Simon turns on the pool. "You're going to end up with this guy, he's definitely interested" she smiles as I try to catch my breath and mutter "I think I need to push".

"Right, let's have a look" the midwife says as I get in the water "this is going to sting" she says as she pushes her fingers up to my cervix. "You're an 8 lovely, not long now" she says softly. "I need to push now" I say sternly. "Is there a lot of pressure?" She asks. I nod and feel another contraction coming. "No pushing okay, just hold on a little while longer" she says, I snap back "I cant do this, there’s way too much pressure, I need to get it out, its freaking me -" I rant and Emmy stops me. "Cassie, baby isn’t quite ready, yeah? Just hold on and when shes ready, you can push, you don’t want to hurt her do you" she says calmly, she knows I’d kill myself before hurting baby. I shake my head and close my legs, tightly, my face turning red as I hold my need to push in.

I labor for 45 minutes more before the midwife comes back. "Can you please check me? I must be ready by now?" I ask her softly knowing how rude I was earlier. She puts her fingers in and smiles "good things come to those who wait, baby is ready when you are" she smiles. "When you get another contraction, you can push okay, so tell me when you get one" she says softly.

"It.. It's coming" I say gently as I grab the back of my knees and open my legs as wide as I can. "Feel my fingers? I need you to push against them" she says "big breath and bare down" she says softly. I pull my legs harder and push down hard, I'm already struggling and it's the first push. "Good girl, and again". I push and hold it a little longer, letting go and spluttering as I pant, moaning away the breath I had held.

I’m clearly focusing hard, but I start to get irritated by the water "Get me out" I say sternly "I don’t want to push in the water" I say before Emmy supports me out of the pool and over to the bed. It's much more comfortable and I feel more in control. "I need rope, to pull" I say to the midwife as she pulls a rope out and attaches it to the bars of the bed. I put my feet against the foot bar and pull on the rope as I push as hard as I can "hnnnng! Ungggghh" I moan as I see Simon smile at me "You're doing it Cassie".

I pull at the rope again pushing as much as I can, the midwife coaching me "harder, love, you need to push harder". "You've got this Cas" Emmy says softly as she watches baby forming inside the bulge between my legs. "Fuck it hurts so bad" I shout as I hold my opening tight and realise how much progress I've made. "Come on little girl, come out for Mommy" I moan. straining as I feel myself and how close she is. "That's it, talk to your baby" the midwife says.

I turn and notice Simon crying quietly and I put my hand out to him and he holds it gently "it's a little girl?" He says softly and I nod smiling, wiping the sweat off my forehead. "Push here, where my fingers are" the midwife shouts and I bare down pushing as hard as I can. "You're crowning Cas" Emmy shouts happily. "One big push now and her head will be out" the midwife says. "Come on, you can do it Cass, push" Simon says, excited to get her out.

"Okay, let's get you squatting over here, it should open you up nicely and let your body do some of the work for you" the midwife says as I waddle to the squatting stool, wary of her head that's nearly out between my legs. I sit on the stool and push as I squat "OOWWW". "That's her head" the midwife smiles "reach down and feel your baby" she says guiding my hand down. I laugh and take Simon's hand to her head, I notice his eyes fill with tears and I smile a little “What colour’s her hair?” I ask him and he smiles “Blonde, just like yours”.

"Not long now dear" the nurse says as she massages my upper abdomen "just a couple more pushes" she adds. I give a big push and moan out "Gahhh" as I feel the shoulders push down on me. "I need to get on my back" I say as I slide off the stool, onto my knees and then lay back on the floor opening my legs up "Si, hold this leg, Em, this one". The midwife follows my lead and comes between my legs. "That's it, listen to your body and push for me" she says as I bare down hard. "Long and strong dear" she says as I push and push and push.

"Shoulders are here, keep going, harder, that's it, come on, there we go" she pulls baby from me and places her on my chest as she cries the sweetest little cry. I pant out of breath and feel my new born’s heart beat right next to mine. "Hello little one, I've waited so long for you" I smile as I hold her little hand. I stroke her back gently as the midwife tends to the afterbirth and before long she helps me over to the bed to lay down with baby.

"That was the most badass thing I've ever seen" Emmy says crying. I turn to Simon, who's in tears at this point and he sits next to me on the bed. "Want to hold your daughter?" I smile as he takes her with out a second thought to his chest. "She's got your eyes" I say to him smiling as I stroke her head. "She had your nose" he laughs. "What are you going to name her?" Emmy asks. I feel there is only one name right for her, Simon's Moms name. "Angela" I say softly "we're calling her Angela" I smile at Simon as he pulls me tight to him kissing my forehead. "She would love her so much" he says sweetly.

#birth #giving birth #childbirth #birtherotica

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