#I’m just a gay guy like trans gay men exist

[jaykin]

Any other trans person sick of the “so why do you think your trans” question every time ur trying to access trans healthcare

[communistkenobi]

went on a terf blocking spree and they were sharing this tweet around

and like obviously this is factually wrong - “homosexual rights” happens primarily through de-pathologising homosexuality, quite literally an effort to redefine sexuality and sexual activity, which was commonly followed by a legal redefinition of marriage in many states as not only being between a man and a woman, and parenthood as not being strictly done by a mother & father - that’s redefining gender categories! Gender doesn’t exist as a repressive force independent of political & legal institutions. Universal paternity leave is a redefinition of gendered reproductive labour through employment and labour policy, it is a structural economic benefit that incentivises fathers to participate in child rearing. This is a (limited, partial) redefinition of what it “means” to be a man, just as gay marriage is a redefinition of what it means to be a husband or wife, just as allowing gays to adopt is a redefinition of motherhood and fatherhood. 

And this denial of being in an “ideological cult” is also intentionally downplaying the massive homophobic outcry that gays were/are in fact trying to destroy the meaning of family and marriage - that gay marriage would let you marry your dog, that gay parents are all pedophiles, that even expanding the definition of the nuclear family to include cis gays would threaten to destroy all categories of familial and civic life. Denying that gay rights are not viewed as an “ideological cult” of their own is laughably homophobic.

Taking this argument to its natural conclusion - that cis gays just want to be “left alone,” they aren’t here to “redefine” anything unlike the transsexuals - means a comprehensive denial of the law as an institution that produces patriarchal and gendered violence, that societal conceptions of gender (and the oppression produced by those conceptions) are unaffected by legal redefinitions of family and marriage. An absurd claim! This argument denies patriarchy as a social force, assigning it instead to this mystical abstract force that exists “out there” in nature, unable to be punctured or altered by any social response. Like tbh if you believe that why even fight for gay marriage at all? Just accept your lot in life as broken men and women with a mental disorder that makes you incapable of raising a family.

But of course they don’t actually really believe this, they know what side their bread is buttered on. Cis gays got themselves removed from the ICD and DSM, got gay marriage legalised in a bunch of countries (the tweet’s exclusive use of past tense when talking about gay rights implies the fight for gay equality is finished, an obviously self-centred western & homophobic argument) and said fuck you got mine! The king granted us entrance into his castle unlike you freaks, all we ever wanted was a seat at his table. Liberation is not the goal, cis gays just want to be permitted equal access to the power of cisheterosexual society. This tweet is arguing that gender is not a relevant mechanism in the oppression of homosexuals, that their oppression is altogether something else, unrelated to ideas of what it means to be a woman or man, because they want access to the violence those categories produce. Destroying these categories makes this goal unattainable for them, and so now cis gays are continuing to pivot to reactionary opposition to trans rights. But don’t take my word for it - I’m just repeating what this guy’s saying!

[chaoticallyfluffy]

To celebrate pride month I’m gonna get myself cancelled by saying my sexuality headcanons for DC characters! Most of which I know pretty much nothing about! Please don’t kill me :D

This is a long post and NONE of this is canon. I have very little knowledge on any of these guys these headcanons are based purely on vibes and it’s all for fun so take it with a jar full of salt.

Bruce/Batman:

He would be bi. I have no doubt about it. His Brucie persona would be very open about it, flirting with potential sponsors at galas no matter the gender to convince them to donate more to his charity as well as flirting with the reporters just to spread the rumors that he's a playboy. As Batman he’d be much more quiet about it. He never talks about himself so no one knows anything about him. No one ever realizes he is bi until he reveals his identity and as one of the most prominent openly bisexual celebrities in the world, they realize right away.

He was born a man and understands and supports transgender people but he never thought too hard about it for himself and is very confident in his gender being male. He is comfortable with being feminine at times without it reflecting his gender and sometimes dresses in drag for photoshoots and paparazzi.

Diana/Wonder Woman :

She lived in a society of exclusively women where lesbian was the default. You either liked women, or you liked no one at all. She was the latter for many years until she met Steve and then she felt something strange for the first time. It took her a long time to realize it was love and that she was only attracted to men which is why she never felt anything for the women in her previous home.

When she hears about transgender people she’s a little bit offended by people ‘deciding’ not to be a woman at first but that’s because she misunderstood the concept. After a bit of explaining she not only accepts it, but becomes a huge ally and will defend their rights fiercely. She has never considered she would be anything but female and is incredibly confident in her own gender.

Clark/Superman:

He’d be just a tiny bit bi but he doesn’t know since he never put much thought into it and much prefers women anyway. He gets a bit uncomfortable when people talk about lgbtq+ things since he doesn’t understand it but he supports it anyway and will fly over pride parades with various flags given to him by Bruce.

He knows transgender people exist but doesn’t understand that being trans is an possibility for him specifically. It just never crossed his mind. When asked his pronouns he says “I’m a man :)” and he’s so kind about it and clearly trying so most people just smile and nod and don’t bother explaining that that isn’t an answer.

Barry Allen/Flash:

He definitely experimented in college and wasn’t exactly opposed, but romantically he is only into women and after marrying Iris he had no reason to keep trying new things. He loves his wife and that’s all that matters. When Wally comes out to him as gay he’s very supportive but doesn’t understand much and promptly researches every single lgbtq+ label in existence.

He doesn’t fully understand transgender stuff but he’s trying really hard. Right now he’s too busy memorizing the names and flags of every sexuality. Check back in a few weeks when he realizes theres more to it than that and actually pays attention to things like transgender rights and homophobia. He will be a changed man and a fierce ally, trying hard to shed light on these issues and change the laws to be more inclusive.

Martian manhunter:

Gender and sexuality are human concepts. Biological sex is irrelevant to a shapeshifter so why would he let it limit him? He doesn’t understand why it matters so much to humans but he tries to understand. He knows a lot more about the lgbtq+ community than most people and fights for their rights but still doesn’t care much about his own labels.

He accepts whatever pronouns other use for him. He literally could not care less.

(I just wrote so much stuff and it all got deleted. Pain.)

Hal Jordan/ Green Lantern:

After travelling through space for so long you start to realize that human gender norms are kinda stupid. When you meet enough sexless space blobs who’s pronouns are based on developmental stages or races with thirty seven sexes and only one set of pronouns for all of them, you start to question if “male” is really the only optjon for you. He doesn’t know his gender quite yet but he’s pretty confident he’s not exactly a man. He doesn’t talk about it much except with people he’s very close to. He has noticed that he has a heavy preference towards 'women' no matter the species, as long as they're sentient.

Billy Batson/ Captain Marvel/ Shazam:

I think he’d be biromantic asexual trans man because hes my favourite boy and I say so. Again, do not kill me. He’s canonically dated and had crushes on girls but I feel like the whole ‘sometimes looks like an adult’ thing would really complicate things and he would try to push away any romantic feelings to not let it distract him from his work or cause any problems. It would probably take him a good few years to realize that he also likes guys and even longer to realize he never really felt anything further than romantic about anyone.

He knew he was trans since he knew what gender was. He has never identified as a girl and as soon as he could talk he told his parents he was a boy they were like “alrighty then!” And treated him accordingly. Hair cuts, pronouns, clothing and such. He didn’t even realize it was seen as ‘abnormal’ until his parents died. his uncle refused to call him by the correct pronouns and all his foster homes after that were similarly transphobic. He never faltered though and when he started living on the streets, he threw away all the dresses and bows his previous fosters got him and never looked back.

Batkids lightning round:

Richard Grayson/Nightwing:

Very openly gay while in costume. Still open out of costume but is just the teeniest bit quieter about it (aka when he’s out of costume he can’t yell at villains about being homophobic for hitting a gay man every time he takes a punch)

He’s a man (either trans or cis, i havent decided yet lol) but he isn’t afraid to wear a dress and makeup every once in a while and is very comfortable with his femininity and masculinity.

Jason Todd:

Who cares? He sure doesn’t. He’s dated women and doesn’t think it’s necessary to explore any further.

He’s never explored his gender and is a bit toxicly masculine but he can, will, and has killed people for being transphobic or making a transgender person feel even slightly uncomfortable. Huge ally though he doesn’t talk much about lgbtq+ rights, it’s just so obvious to him that he doesn’t think it needs to be talked about. A fan group online keeps a tally of how many homophobes and transphobes he's sent to the hospital and the number is unbelievably high.

Tim drake:

Unlabelled. He doesn’t have time to think about any of that but he knows he’s probably not straight, especially considering he has dated men, women, and nonbinary folk. It doesn’t really matter much to him.

Same thing for gender, who has the time? He identifies as male because looking too deep when he feels just fine as a guy would be a waste of time to him. If he had a transgender friend suggest it though, he would look a bit deeper and find that he’s either cis or gender apathetic. At that point he'd get bored and stop again lol.

Damian Wayne:

He has other things to worry about. Like eliminating all crime, for example. And polishing his swords. He'll deal with the whole 'romance' thing when he is the appropriate marriage age and will select if he wants to date a girl or a boy then. (He has not yet realized that isn't how it works. He'll realize hes aroace eventually but for now teaching Alfred the cat how to steal from Tim is much more important)

Other misc hero’s:

Zatanna: bi with a preference for women.

John Constantine: (edited this one because it was misunderstood) Bi but that’s none of your business. Won’t go out of his way to hide it but isn’t gonna tell you about it either unless it’s actually relevant.

Kon-el/Conner Kent/ Superboy: Gay. Maybe one day he’ll try dating a woman or something just to see if he’s interested but for now he knows he likes men so he’s sticking to that. They use He/they pronouns.

Wally west/ kid flash: Gay. Thought he was bi for a bit but realized he was just trying to hold on to a tiny bit of normalcy and accepted he would never be ‘normal’. He’s very happy with his boyfriend now! Experimented with different pronouns for a few months but ended up being a cis man. The experience really helped him understand the community better and hes glad he tried it out even in it didnt result in a big self discovery or anything.

And thats it! If you have a different headcanon please tell me in the comments/reblogs/tags/whatever!! I’m super interested to hear them.

[featureenvyproductions]

here’s a bird’s eye view of my comic Eyan Eternal

For people who don't know what it is. Bc I think some of you might find it's right up your alley. Well this is an updated one anyway. I do actually have a volume of this out in print right now, but the low def, basic version is online and complete, and tbh, I just want people to read it. I took almost two years to complete this and quite literally poured every waking moment (after work and when I wasn’t fixing stuff in my house) into this to try and finish it.

Ahem

Here is one of these at a glance things! 

If that’s enough to intrigue you, take a look at my chapter masterpost which has convenient links to every chapter post so you don’t have to go figuring out where they are and what order they go in!: https://www.tumblr.com/featureenvyproductions/717516139934154752/eyan-eternal-tumblr-chapter-masterpost?source=share

If you like it and want to support me you can also buy a copy of the first print volume, which collects chapters 1-5 and has a smidge of bonus content (only available in the US right now, but that’s not going to be forever, and I’m working on an e-book as well): https://www.etsy.com/FeatureEnvy/listing/1447399615/eyan-eternal?utm_source=Copy&utm_medium=ListingManager&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lmsm&share_time=1683565699335

And now here is a more detailed break down if you need more info than that...

*Jonathan Frakes asks you things meme voice* have you ever wondered what you’d find if you REALLY lived forever?

Well, meet Eyan, an immortal vampire.

He’s slowly finding out the answer to that question...

...And it appears to be unbearable isolation.

Eons into the distant future, when most stars have faded in the night sky and the cosmic event horizon has confined any remaining beings to an isolated pocket of the universe, Eyan roams interstellar space in a repurposed generation ship in search of anything that could be considered alive/sentient in the way he is.

So far, he’s out of luck.

That is until he runs into an unexpected former rival on a remote planet - Zero, a sentient android he never expected to be the only other person left alive.

Well. That is, if either of them can really be considered “alive”. What does that mean anyway, when the humans who defined what it means to be alive are all gone?

This is something they’ll have to explore and define for themselves as they attempt to set aside their myriad of differences and try to work together on one of the few ways left to escape the dark fate of ultimate isolation - The Grand Encoder, a machine that can upload minds to a special medium - if it even works for them anyway. In the process, they slowly come to accept that maybe they’d had each other all wrong and weren’t seeing the bigger picture.

You may not find any action-packed Star Wars like escapades here in this sci fi drama. You also won’t find ponderings about the origins of vampires or what gave rise to robot sentience - It’s integral to the plot that these things just ARE. But you will find a thoughtful exploration of identity and how it can cause us to define ourselves and relate to (or abandon) each other depending on the framework within which we are doing that exploration and within which we are compelled to exist. It asks the question, what if the frameworks within which we defined our existence and purpose no LONGER existed...Where would we go from there?

And as two immortal guys who are the only folks left in the universe (as far as they know), Eyan and Zero are just the right people to mull over that.

There is both textual and allegorical queerness in this story - both main characters should be considered gay men, even if it’s The Future TM and terms/exact scopes of identities may not be EXACTLY 1-1 with today’s...But I want to be perfectly clear that it was my intent to make them gay because I wanted to see more gay guys in sci fi and I don’t want anyone erasing that. As for the allegorical stuff - I myself am a trans gay man in my late 30s, so this act of re-exploring and re-framing myself and evaluating how and why queer folks interact with each other the way we do is something I’m very familiar with, and I feel like other folks might relate. (I also peppered in some neurodivergent-person-in-a-neurotypical-world moods tbh.)

Of course it’s not all serious. I do have a bit of fun with some old school vampire tropes, tossing Eyan around and putting him in Situations.

Anyway if this all sounds interesting to you, take a look at my tag and site (above)! I’d appreciate it! I also like to hear from people and see if there’s anything about it you related to! :)

I also do everything. Every last monotonous step (well, aside from literally loading up a printing press to churn out volumes lol - BUT REST ASSURED IF I HAD $10K TO PISS INTO THE WIND I WOULD DO THAT TOO). So if there’s ANYTHING you want to know about my process, I’m happy to tell you so please ask, especially if you’re like trying to get started on your own comic or trying to go to print :) 

Edit before I go ahead and blaze this: I want to say, to be honest, the creation of comic was initially motivated almost entirely by the isolation/loneliness I’ve felt in my life. It’s not as bad as some folks’ and I know that, but it is a really prevalent thread throughout my life and sometimes is almost unbearable, and my comic began as an exploration of that loneliness, as well as a narrative exercise to try and express the depth of it at its worst point. I’m putting this out here because ultimately I don’t know...maybe someone will catch my drift and understand the feeling I’m trying to illustrate, and maybe they’ll want to see the plot that came of those feelings. I am not above the need to feel seen lol, especially if other people out there feel like they can resonate with this experience as well.

[nekropsii]

i think theres a really big issue in the community specifically surrounding the people who headcanon dave as some sort of trans where both sides of the coin seem to hate each other? like both sides are at fault here, ive seen blogs demeaning people who like transmasc dave and then like you said other people just completely disregarding transfem dave. guys. can we stop. let people headcanon what they want without blatantly attacking them, this goes for all parties in this issue. i dont get why people act like this. the fuck happened to all trans people being equal and then we get both transmisoginy and harassment of people liking either of the trans headcanons?

jesus man. im tired of it

Respectfully, I do not think this is a “Both Sides” situation.

The concept of transmasc Dave is objectively one of the most popular headcanons in the Homestuck fandom, and it has been for years. I think I can excuse people who headcanon transfem Dave for “hating it”, because as I have been trying to fucking say this entire time, people keep correcting me on my own posts about transfem Dave on my own blog, and belittling me for thinking this way. And since I’ve asked people to maybe interrogate why they feel the need to correct me and patronize me and to stop fucking doing that, I’ve been getting inundated with people trying to mansplain and traumadump to me how me saying to not correct me and patronize me for having a transfem headcanon is oppressing them and that trans men also have it bad, as if I literally ever insinuated that they do not have it tough.

You do not get to “Both Sides” me on a discussion about my experience when I have never - and I mean NEVER - received this level of heat for headcanoning a character as literally anything else. I have NEVER gotten “corrected” for headcanoning a character as gay, or transmasculine, or black, or a lesbian - only now, when I headcanon a character as a trans woman, am I getting people correcting me, condescending me, telling me some really fucking personal traumas to explain to me I’m “in the wrong” for being upset about the correction and condescension, very obviously making assumptions about my sex, gender, and what I’ve been through in my life, making negative assumptions about my intelligence, and putting a fuck ton of words in my mouth.

I am speaking from my own experience here. I am sorry if that hurts anyone’s feelings, but that much cannot be taken from me. From my experience, this is not “Both Sides”, this is very clearly one side with far greater numbers giving another flack for not assimilating, and when that other side tries to say what’s going on, they’re treated as an aggressor, and treated like a petulant idiot child.

Before anyone puts any more words in my god damn mouth:

I literally never said no one could HC Dave as transmasculine, or that they were wrong for thinking that way. I have outright said the opposite, that it is fine and that I do not care. HOWEVER, I sure as hell am experiencing people telling me that I am wrong for HCing her as a woman.

I literally never, and I mean NEVER, said or insinuated that trans men do not suffer, especially under the patriarchy. I am not an idiot, I know how the patriarchy works, it hurts literally everyone that doesn’t conform to an incredibly, incredibly narrow white non-queer cishetero male ideal. I am also not an idiot, I know that transphobia will exist no matter what you identify as, and it will suck absolute horseshit. Neither “side” has it “easy”, every type of transphobia has an uncomfortably, terrifyingly high body count. I never fucking said trans men do not have it hard. Stop putting those words in my mouth.

Literally all I said was that it’s fucking weird that I’ve never been treated this way until I headcanoned a character as a trans woman, and maybe to interrogate that because people sure seem comfortable acting this way, and that-

This is Transmisogyny.

And if there’s anything else I’ve learned from this, it’s that-

HIT DOGS HOLLER.

[transmascissues]

I’ve been struggling for a long time (almost 5 years now) over whether or not I’m trans. At this point I’m think I might be, but I’m terrified of loosing all the stuff I love about womanhood. The friendships, the clothes, but mainly being able to call myself a lesbian.

I think I really need to confront my gender, but I don’t know if it’s worth loosing all of these things that mean the world to me, advice?

fun fact: you don’t have to lose any of those things to be trans!

your friendships don’t have to change. sure, if you get to a point where you pass as a guy / are seen as not-a-girl in some way, new people might treat you differently and approach friendship with you differently, but the friendships you already have won’t have to change at all. absolutely nothing about my friendships changed when i came out; there’s no way of being friends that’s exclusive to women. and if a friend does treat you differently just because you’re trans? that’s on them, and it honestly might be a sign that you’re better off without them anyway.

you can wear all the same clothes you do now. my wardrobe hasn’t changed at all since i came out. i’ve always chosen my clothes just based on what is most comfortable for me, so i’ve been perfectly happy keeping all of my old clothes. my body and the way other people see me were the things i felt the need to change, not my clothes. i might not have the most masculine wardrobe ever, but it’s what i’m comfortable in and that’s the important part. if anything, being trans just expanded my wardrobe instead of changing it — i kept wearing all the things i always liked, but i also started to look in the men’s section and found even more things that i like wearing.

and you don’t have to stop calling yourself a lesbian just because you’re trans. it’s one thing if being trans also means the label doesn’t feel like it fits anymore, but if it still feels right? you can keep using it as long as you like. nonbinary lesbians and transmasc lesbians and lesboys and trans men whose love for women still feels gay and people whose only remaining connection to womanhood is the fact that they’re lesbians and multigender people who are lesbians because of their womanhood while also being other genders and people whose genders are just butch or femme or dyke and nothing else all absolutely exist, as do trans guys who don’t personally call themselves lesbians anymore but remain part of the community because it still just feels like their home; you’d be far from the first person to transition while holding onto an identity that’s still meaningful to you, even if it sounds contradictory to other people.

i’ve gone through similar processes of trying to reconcile newly discovered parts of my identity with the parts i’d already accepted, and you’d be surprised how often the answer to the dilemma is just “i guess i’m both, unless/until i decide one of them doesn’t feel right anymore.” i don’t talk a lot about my specific identities on here but they’re full of so-called contradictions. the thing about queerness is that it’s never been about making our identities “make sense” or “sound right” to other people. queerness is automatically looked down on by most people as wrong or unnatural or confusing or just completely unintelligible, and the job of queer people is not to make them more intelligible but to embrace them despite the fact that most people think we’re ridiculous for doing so. the only person your identity has to feel right to is you; no one else matters.

any shift in identity is going to feel like a massive change when your old identity is one you lived in for a long time and grew attached to, but being a big change doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a loss. of course, if it feels right to let go of some of the old to make room for the new, do that, but never feel obligated to do so. if you aren’t ready to let go of something associated with your old identity yet, let those things stick around while you welcome the new stuff in and see how they get along. you aren’t on any kind of timeline; you can take the transition slow and only let go of things once you feel absolutely sure that they aren’t serving you anymore, even if that means never letting go of some of the things other people say you should want nothing to do with. some of us are happiest when we embrace identities and ways of moving through the world that make absolutely no sense to anyone but us.

so my advice is this: don’t run away from this. it’s not fair to yourself to live your entire life in a limbo space of perpetually agonizing over your identity but never doing anything about it. the best thing you can do is give yourself permission to explore these feelings in their entirety, rather than only focusing on the things they might take away from you. i know it’s scary, but i guarantee you’ll come out happier on the other side no matter what you end up identifying as. knowing more about how you want to be seen and how you want to live life is only going to help you be more satisfied with the life you’re living — you can’t be happy if you never give yourself the space to learn what being happy means for you.

if, at the end of it all, you do end up letting go of some of the things you feel attached to now, it’ll only be because you found something that makes you even happier and feels even more right. and if you don’t? you can live the rest of your life holding onto all of the things you love about womanhood without actually/entirely/only being a woman! there are no rules; gender and queerness have no limits except for the limits of how far you’re willing to go to truly know yourself.

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

you mentioned something about how the way gay trans guys are treated leading to some of them reidentifying as femme enbys or just woman and I’m personally in the latter. i socially detransitioned because i couldn’t take the amount of lateral aggression i got as a trans guy who was only into men from my own community irl and online.

i didn’t stop taking T because it just helps a lot of my chronic pain and I prefer the body hair/no period/etc. but i think it speaks volumes that i get treated kinder for essentially being a butch gnc straight woman than an openly queer and trans male. My personal tipping points were having an ex-friend of mine (nb lesbian) try to convince me i only liked men because i was sexually assaulted and I just needed to ~try~ girls, and a cis gay male college acquaintance who told me to my face that I would always be a girl to him (he never knew me pretransition btw).

Maybe i’ll reidentify as a trans guy someday but right now it’s just safer to exist like this. I’m effectively still the same person but switching to calling myself a woman suddenly made everyone more… ok with everything about me? I don’t know how to feel about it but i just wanted to say you’re correct that there’s pressure from within the community itself for us to detransition.

That's really sad. Thank you for sharing, though. I hope that you'll be in a better place and more comfortable being who you are at some point in the future. Non-transmascs be normal about trans gay men challenge (impossible).

[doberbutts]

So after seeing your post about BES I finally started watching it and damn. DAMN. People saw Mizu and can’t understand why transmascs gravitate to this story???????? I’m pretty sure “using bandages to bind chest” is like one of THE TOP symbolic moves that transmascs gravitate to when it comes to our (admittedly lackluster) representation in media.

Also, I feel like a lot of people get really weird about the idea that a story about empowering women and a story that’s relatable to transmascs aren’t mutually exclusive. I won’t speak for everyone but personally I like stories like this that don’t shy away from representing people whose AGAB doesn’t align with their outward actions.

And! Personally! As a man who is East Asian living in the US and has a higher voice even after 5 years on T, characters like Mizu rekindle my hope that one day I’ll be able to pass as flawlessly as him lol. Characters like Mizu, Mulan, Haruhi (from ouran high school host club) always seem to spark that little bit of hope in me… that maybe one day I won’t have to try so hard to be accepted and people will just see me and assume I’m a boy without me having to correct them… or at the very least, that they’d refrain from using any gendered language towards me until they ask and find out what I want to be referred as.

Oh for sure. It's like the Mulan thing. Like I'm sorry but you put "when will my reflection show who I am inside" and "who is that girl" and "why is my reflection a stranger" and you're mad that trans guys went "wow where'd you get that picture of me" like??? In a deleted scene, Mizu tries to play with her feminity in the mirror at the brothel and ultimately scowls and doesn't like what she sees- and you're trying to tell me that it's *not* supposed to be relateable to trans mascs trying to be feminine women and hating what they see reflected back at them?

Like you said, it's not that I'm mad that this is a story about empowering women and featuring a highly GNC woman as its main character. It's just annoying, and more importantly highly concerning, that people seem to think that because it's about empowering masculine women that trans mascs can't or shouldn't see any of themselves in it. I'm an entire grownass binary trans man and throughout my entire life I have felt more seen and more fellowship with masculine women both fictional and real than I have with anyone else except specific gay cis men who were very gender themselves.

And yeah. As your existence proves, it's not like East Asian trans mascs aren't real??? Like I'm sure there's nuance there that I'm missing because despite being biracial I'm not Asian and *definitely* not Japanese. But acting like characters like Haruhi, or Mizu, or Mulan [Chinese] *can't* be trans mascs because that'a inherently disrespectful to East Asian women is just plain erasing the fact that, um, Japanese and Korean and Chinese and Thai and Vietnamese and more trans mascs absolutely do exist and have existed as long as gender has existed.

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

I know it’s a joke when people are like “oh men are gross” and “oh men suck” and “you like men? I’m so sorry for you” and it’s funny and all but at a certain point it just makes me sad

let’s stop shaming people for liking guys, it’s not sinful or wrong compared to liking women. Liking women doesn’t make you any better of a person, it’s just your preference

I have a lot of internalized homophobia from this notion because I thought I had to force myself to like girls in order to fit in with my friends and I felt ashamed of being gay. But I AM gay, I love men, I love loving men as a man

espically being a trans man, I feel like I’m not even allowed to like men or I’m not a real guy. we shame gay guys for liking men and not women and we also shame bisexual women if they have a preference for men and not girls

why don’t we just let people exist and like what they want? Stop shaming people for liking men!! It doesn’t make you cool. Thanks <3

TLDR: stop shaming people for liking men and making them ashamed of themselves, you’re an asshole (respectfully). Love y’all and respect each other <3

[saitamastamaticsoup]

Hey so if y’all gon write like crossdressing or pretending to be a guy Fics PLEASE dear god talk to a SINGLE trans person?? bc it comes off as weird every time😭“your feminine figure” please chill out there’s other ways to write that y’all sound cringe. “I could tell by your feminine face” or “your scent”🤮🤢 Chigiri IS RIGHT THERE! You CANNOT be all “you’re so feminine” when he’s right there and has the slim waist cute face I’m which you keep describing for YN like it’s getting wild @ this point😐 here’s some things to confident! Chest bandages are NOT good and restrict breathing using a compression shirt under the already body forming body suit would work or a binder under that. Like if she’s going through ALL the trouble of hiding in a men’s league why would she half ass it?? Wear men’s cologne, copy their mannerism, take birth control to stop her period, vocal training in secret to lower her voice. If she’s risking her entire career and identity for it why is she just cutting her hair and wearing a jacket?? Ik you want a romantic subplot but like blue lock gay asf and bisexual people exist stop being scared

[toasterbunnicula]

Mass Effect Character Sexualities because I want to project

(Partly headcanon, bi-ased, personal opinion)

Ashley: straight, formerly homophobic until she realized that most of her Normandy crew mates were gay

Garrus: bi energy, its simply unfair to our gay guys for such an amazing and hot character to not go both ways. Ive also seen too much Garrus/Thane/Shepard fanart to see him any other way

Liara: obviously bi, I hc that she was confused when she first encountered homophobia because it simply doesn’t exist in asari culture (closest thing is the asarixasari stigma)

Wrex: for some reason I see him as bi? I have no idea where I got this but I want to see a tough, old warrior casually mentioning being into both men and women and not caring at all about it (even though I think krogan culture probably wouldn’t approve)

Tali: for my sake as a helpless bi simp, I see her as under the umbrella, but doesn’t realize it. Like me before I came out, Tali would say “yeah she’s really pretty and I want to hang out with her and hug her and stare at her but I’m not gay or anything.” You are. You are gay. I think it would be in character for her to completely miss the fact that she’s into girls as well as men

Joker: straight. The kind of straight to make jokes about his friends’ sexualities, but not mean anything by it. He goes to pride every June with his wife EDI (who I will get to)

Jacob: I honestly can’t believe that he was originally intended to be bi, I just can’t see him into men unless I squint. It’s hilarious that they tried to make his male romance more like Brokeback Mountain so it’d be accepted

Miranda: I’ve seen a headcanon on Pinterest about Miranda having internalized homophobia because it doesn’t line up with her view of genetic perfection, something she’s established to be insecure about. I think it would make perfect sense for her character. I think it’s easy to see her as a lesbian practicing het-comp, especially with how awkward her initial flirting with Shepard is, but there are more scenes in her romance that feel authentic than there are that feel performative, so I’m inclined to say she is bi/pan/omni/etc.

Mordin: I’m pretty sure his asexuality is canon. I also think that he’s aromantic as well, but can objectively assess beauty/attractiveness well. For example, his film noir short story in the Citadel DLC involves a hookup with Aria. I personally believe that is him saying “yeah, she’s attractive, and if I were into women, I’d smash”

Zaeed: he gives off straight uncle who would punch a homophobe for you but otherwise doesn’t know how to interact with you after you’ve come out and tries a little too hard to acknowledge your sexuality but it’s definitely well-meaning (think the “anyone could be they!” scene from Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Grunt: straight and supports his bi parents (Shepard and Garrus/Thane/Tali/Liara), wears rainbows at Pride for them, and regularly headbutts homophobes

Jack: I’m forever salty about them erasing her pansexuality. Also she and Miranda should’ve kissed

Kasumi: also gives off pan energy. She definitely feels like the type to not care about gender at all- as long as they’ve got muscles, that’s all that matters to her

Thane: pan energy

Samara: as established, Samara is bisexual

Legion: ace, non-binary (goes with people using he/him based on its masculine voice, pronouns are they/it)

Kelly: she said so herself, she doesn’t care about race/species or gender, all that matters is the person 💖💛💙

EDI: something about Sentient AI Who People Initially Don’t Trust Until She Gets A Humanoid Body That People Can Better Associate With Her reads to me as a trans allegory. Obviously, she’s not trans, but the vibes are there. Many times, people are suspicious of trans women until they transition and pass more as cis, which is similar to EDI’s story. She learns more about herself after her body changes, and others start to appreciate her more and have an easier time referring to her with she/her pronouns. As for her sexuality, she doesn’t seem to lean any particular way to me. She doesn’t seem like the type who’d use labels, even though it would make sense for her to “categorize” herself. I’d say she’s unlabelled- definitely into men, with her relationship with Joker

James: as much as I wish we could get gay gym bro representation, James is great as he is, being a masculine straight guy who’s best friends are openly gay (Cortez) and bi (Shepard)

Traynor: lesbian (canon), definitely into women who can crush her head under their heel but also has a dominant side herself

Cortez: gay (canon)

Diana: that annoying and popular bi girl you secretly had a crush on but didn’t want to because she was intimidating and popular

[farmerlesbian]

hi farmer lesbian!

so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)

it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into

hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)

you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.

you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.

also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.

i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)

now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.

so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!

hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡

[hyperfixations-ahoy]

The people (one person) have asked, so I shall provide: more Ivorren headcanons

You probably missed the mini Soren headcanon I posted right when my blog, so I’ll say it again: he doesn’t just name Endermen, he gives nicknames to everything

ex: “Ivor where’s Elizabeth?” “deep sigh Your notebook is on the kitchen table”

Building styles — Soren prefers style to practicality; Ivor focuses on function first and design after (he tries to add some style but it’s just lava or something equally bad)

Ivor LOVES gossip sessions. Like he’s not sure how it started but him, Petra, and Lukas spill all the tea

Similarly, he is also Ellegaard and Magnus’ relationship counselor, a job that never ends

”We’re breaking up!” And Ivor adds another tally to his list (they’ve said that hundreds of times)

They both missed a lot of ‘updates’ while in their respective seclusions, so they’ll constantly be like: what do you mean there’s a material stronger than diamond. what do you mean the warden is real. what is with these pink trees. what the fuck is a glow squid and why does it exist

Ivor is a Moobloom supporter, Soren knows he should hate the Glow Squid but just loves it too much to be angry

On a more serious note, they love each other’s voices. They’ll read out loud to each other, or Ivor will listen to the stupid little songs Soren comes up with (Gary may seem scary but he’s a swell guy 🔥🎶)

Living embodiments of the “we’re two halves of the same idiot” meme

Soren doesn’t think of himself as gay, or really anything in terms of sexuality (he’s been in the figurative and literal closet for years, “what is a pronoun and why are there so many”)

“Oh no, I’m not gay, I’m not interested in men except for this one here”

Meanwhile everyone except for Ivor himself knew which way the alchemist swung

Someone has definitely asked Ivor if he could make them testosterone/estrogen (insert whichever character you headcanon as trans here!)

They’re not married, because they don’t need to be. They don’t need a ceremony and a piece of paper to prove that they’re never leaving the other’s side again

I’m actually having so much fun with this, I would be happy doing more 👀👀

[listlessnessss]

do my fellow autohomoerotics experience anything similar?

alloandrophilic life cycle:

1.alloandrophilia predictably hits, target is typically a cis man, sometimes a deeply repressed proto-trans woman (it’s easier when it’s parasocial but unfortunately it’s IRL sometimes—sometimes like a lesbian, i choose an unavailable one). the feeling is good, typically, and i have auto-androphilia for him, too. the kind of man i’m attracted to is usually one i’d want to emulate. also the fantasies are super predictably auto-homoerotic as fuck (the idea is i’d also be a guy)

2.I learn that i’m objectively inferior to him because i am (and sometimes it’s because he’s normie in addition to male) i used to approach, but have given that up in recent years after repeated rejections. i get angry, internally, but don’t let it go anywhere. violent thoughts towards myself and others, inc. target. he would also never accommodate my delusions, my sexuality is estrogenic so i think about the future and realize that obviously anyone who is attracted to me is attracted to women and not to autohomoerotic ftms. my blackpills tell me that even well adjusted bi men wouldn’t.(this is due to my horrible personality, so it’s specific to me) i absolutely cannot approach my latest target, it would be inviable due to other unrelated incompatibilities but i won’t get too into that—doesn’t stop the cycle from proceeding.

3.i have thoughts of suicide every day. i rarely can cry, but then i do. (i’m not on testosterone or anything i’m just repressing) for how long these thoughts last depends on how far it got with my delusions. i’m really good at making the cycle go by quickly—classic comphet, i guess i have this in common w the type 1’s. but when i actually have gotten the opportunity to be one of his orbiters, it lasts longer—i’m usually so inferior to his other orbiters. i feel guilty for implicating him.

4.i retreat into a ground state of asexuality, hyper-romantic fanfic-tropey bihet female sexuality. this is my equilibriated comfort zone. of course, i still repress and carry in me intense cross-sex desires. i realize that i am too highly feminine in my thinking- i catch feelings, i’m emotional as fuck, i’m fembrained as all hell, not built for what i perceive from across the cultural and physiological aisle as the casual, animalistic, cult of physical beauty which everything about my socialization and my nerdy femcel predilections has told me i would never in a million years fit into (and on this point i’m right). I have a horrible body and personality, so i find myself falling back on the tropes of cis womanhood when realistically thinking of enticing targets, where almost zero for (gay ftms? they/them perhaps?) exist. I start recovering from my fixation on my alloandrophilic target, and make a return to woman with a private daydream.

written just now in a moment of self-awareness i think… like genuinely what the fuck is wrong.

is this just suicidal or am i a lesbian all along. do others… like me… experience something similar… is this what it feels like to supposed to have been a man yet have a sex drive dominated by estrogen or is this a secret 3rd worse thing? or AUTISM probably? this should be included in a write-up on autistic girls and how we think. i’m throwing things at the wall in the hopes something sticks wrt my guesses here.

is is just me?

[olderthannetfic]

Speaking of fetishization and all that jazz, recently the term fujoshi came up in real life for me and a friend asked me what it meant. For transparency I’m only 25, didn’t really fall into fandom until covid. Essentially I said it was a japanese term sometimes used in fandom so it depends who you ask. It could be 

Rotten women: this is the most technical translation and I’m pretty sure the actual word is a pun about rotten eggs or something. It means rotten as in spoiled, as in “spoiled for marriage” 

A derogatory term for women who are ruined for marriage because they like gay porn 

Women who likes gays porn 

Women who like BL/boy love. The male equivalent is fudanshi. BL is gay mlm romance genre for manga. GL is for girl love, but I think GL is less popular of a genre/not really a thing. I’m pretty sure the porn equivalent is yaoi for gay porn and yuri for lesbian porn(still talking about manga/anime) but I could be wrong. BL and yaoi might mean the same thing I’m not sure. The important part here is fujoshi is for women who like BL and fudanshi is for men who like BL. This is the most correct term unless someone is trying to use it as an insult. I’m pretty sure this is what comes up when you google it. 

Straight women who fetishizes gay men

Transphobic term for a trans man that actually just a “straight women who fetishes gay men” 

(me still talking to my friend) 

Now if you’re wondering why all this exists we need to go back to the early 2000s and I’m pretty sure 4chan. If I’m right, fujoshi already meant rotten women and was used to describe a woman who was ruined for marriage, but around this time it started being used specifically against women for liking gay porn/ BL manga. An intersection of misogyny and homophobia where women aren’t just ruined by jacking off, but even more ruined if they jack off to gay porn. Oh no the horror! How will women ever marry straight men if she masturbated to gay men? She is now ruined for straight men. I find this whole thing absurd, but honestly I forget that people “aren’t supposed to even masturbate” before marriage. Got to keep yourself completely pure I guess. Like I understand the concept of not having sex before marriage(even if I really don’t agree) because I grew up hearing that but the idea that you shouldn’t even masturbate or you’ll be ruined is so stupid to me it makes my brain short circuit. And of course it's misogynistic as all hell. At this time it's a Japanese term used in Japan against Japanese women and it's later reclaimed by Japanese women. Reclaimed as in “wait you guys can have porn and be horny but we can’t!? Well fuck you then I am rotten woman and you can go fuck yourself” At least thats what I think they mean when they say its a “reclaimed word” All I know is that its a misogynist term used against japanese women then reclaimed by said women. This is when “it just means women who like BL definition starts” 

Short time later it slowly but surely gets used in western fandom by people(mostly women) who ship mlm and by women who like BL and in the latter case it literally means that. This is when “it means a woman who fetishes gay men '' crops up Now I wasn't around at this time and there's a lot of mud throwing and shit when people talk about early tumblr and shipping culture. From what I can tell lots of time it was just used as an insult against people who shipped gay stuff, but there were women who would act gross towards gay men. My opinion is that is kinda like lesbian porn. I don’t give shit if someone like lesbian porn. I give a shit if someone is gross to me personally, like a guy wanting to watch me giss my friend, but its non of my business what kinda porn someone likes. What a weird thing to give a fuck about. And shipping isn’t even always porn! Lots of times its just porn, but lots of times its just about the most interesting relationship on screen which normally isn’t the romantic one. I have a whole theory that the most popular ships being between friendships not romantic leads is because romantic story lines aren’t great. Take zuko and katara vs aang and katara. Zuko and katara have a whole arc where they learn to trust each other and we see their relationship grow and change, but with aang and katara we mostly only watch them crushing on each other which is just not as interesting. 

I said more about how the term gets pretty transphobic and how fetishization is a good criticism lots of times but i’m pretty sure I’m out of words lol 

--

腐女子 is a pun on 婦女子. They're both 'fujoshi'. The 'fu' character means 'rotten' or 'fermented' as in tofu: 豆腐.

English-speaking antis are just morons about language along with everything else and completely misrepresent this word.

Yeah, it was 2chan crying that girls liked something other than them and then women being like "Joke's on you: I'm proud of that".

(In general, insecure douchebags dislike their partners masturbating because they foolishly assume that if a partner has zero experience, they won't be measuring the douchebag against anything. In reality, you can tell if sex was bad without anything to compare it to.)

BL is a genre term for m/m stuff aimed at an assumed female audience. It tends towards romances, but that's not the definition AFAIK. I imagine that women who like gei komi probably also call themselves fujoshi, but the point of the 'fudanshi' term is to denote men who like the "for girls" stuff, not just gei komi.

Is GL used much? I usually see queer women using 'yuri' to talk about f/f manga.

You can drop that "porn equivalent" nonsense though. Aside from some English-language fanfic, there has not been a consistent terminology for softcore vs. hardcore. Both 'BL' and 'yuri' can cover the full spectrum of content.

[coelii]

hi so i have a question that you can absolutely ignore if you think it's not worth your time to answer but.

what's the deal with trans women and femboys? i know everyone is their own person and each trans woman is gonna have their own take on it but i've seen a LOT of posts lately about femboys and egg-cracking and the ethics of it all and it seems to be related to finnster coming out as trans rather than a femboy now? and idk i can see how that can cause discontent but as a trans guy that sometimes uses the word femboy for myself regarding my remaining connection to femininity and someone who knows guys that identify as femboys but not women im just confused! i feel like some people are starting to latch onto the term femboy as a nonbinary identity too so. what about that concept i'm hmmmmmmm

and tbh i haven't seen you specifically talk much about this so really you can delete this if you want but. i really trust and value your takes on things so i can't help but be curious about your thoughts...

So I did have a bad take on femboys a couple months ago but I feel like I can expound on it a bit more eloquently.

As a trans woman looking back I spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking I was something that I’m not. All research I did as a teen/young adult in the 90s/00s pointed at me being a crossdressing man. This was because I’m not a “true transsexual” as that term was defined at the time (wasn’t suicidal over having a penis and lack of ovaries).

In my past online I’ve had a couple tumblr blogs where I shared pictures and interacted with others like me, and about a decade or so ago I spent an unhealthy amount of time posting on 4chan for validation while running a headless crossdressing blog. It wasn’t super popular (maybe 100 followers) but I had several moots in the same realm as me and we specifically weren’t trans or women. We were “femboys” or “cds” or “traps”. We explored gender nonconformity in dress and speech and circlejerked about it in much the same way trans women now circlejerk about things like “tummy tuesday”.

During my time on tumblr back then I continued losing mutuals to transition. They all kept coming to the same conclusion, they weren’t just acting like women - they were women. I was so proud of them every time but it kept delaying my own transition despite all the very obvious signs I was the same.

To me, “femboys” and “traps” have something of inherent transmisogyny baggage that a lot of people aren’t willing to unpack. When you watch a video of someone femme presenting on Omegle or whatever talking to a guy in a very femme voice and then switching to a deep voice for comedic effect, the “punchline” of that joke is “oh they were a dude all along and now it’s gay” and that’s frankly kind of offensive when you really think about it. A lot of people still see trans women as just “men choosing to go by feminine pronouns” and I genuinely don’t see that as the case.

Do I still think femboys have a place? Sure, I think it’s perfectly valid for men to exist who genuinely are into dressing feminine but embrace their masculinity. I think trans men who want to present femme at times or all the time are completely valid. Identity is personal and no one can tell you what you are except yourself.

I just know for me, personally, being a femboy delayed my own transition by several years and I hope anyone out there who is GNC that reads this knows it’s okay to be introspective and explore your gender. Try new things, don’t ever feel you need to pick a label and live with it the rest of your life. Do what you want forever, you only get one life and you might as well enjoy living it. ♥︎