#I’m so sorry I’m too tired to proofread this I hope it makes sense

[yenqa]

OH! MY MISTAKE | where you can’t for the life of you, remember to call kozume by his first name.

♫ — currently playing... april

warnings – an ankle injury (briefly went over), lmk if theres more!

pairing – kenma x gn!reader

wordcount – 1094

a/n – hi guys !! hope u enjoyy lmk if u do! also this is mot proofread so sorry if its wordy or theres any typos!

kenma isn’t the kind to make many mistakes.

there are times where he’s bound to make mistakes, like when he’s out of breath and messes up his sets a little, or when he’s been playing a game for too long and too many people are talking and the pixels are moving too fast for his brain.

those are the times where he can make the excuse if that he’s too tired. but even then, he still realizes his mistake.

when you first meet him he can tell you’re the shy type. he’s not stupid after all.

he can see you fidget with anything you can latch you hands on as you're introducing yourself to the team individually.

coach nekomata has that same happy smile that he always displays. he can see you constantly look back at him for reassurance.

when you finally approach him he skips to the most important part. he doesn’t care for the formalities, and he is sure you don't care about the wellbeing of every single person on the team.

“you can just call me by my first name, kenma.”

you were taken aback by his abruptness, you hadn’t even had the opportunity to bow before he introduced himself. his face remained a monotone look, it didn’t seem like he cared for you at all.

“oh—okay! what’s your last name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

he is simply oblivious to you, so he says, “it’s kozume, but i don’t like when people call me it. so kenma is fine with me.”

“it’s nice to meet you, kenma-san. it’s an honor to be the manager this year!” you salute to him, he can sense that every bone of your body is tense, and you’re too nervous for your own good.

“it’s nice meeting you,” he pauses, then adds,”don’t take this position too seriously, you’re new, it’s okay to make mistakes and not know things.”

he figures you’re the type to need reassurance on matters like that, he almost adds that you can come to him for help, but it might’ve come off in a different way. which was the opposite of what he wanted.

a warm smile blesses your face as you nod vigorously, barely getting out a “thank you!” before he walks away.

a small smile adorns his face when he turns around while he’s so blissfully unaware of his fatal mistake.

it’s at the next practice when he first notices it.

he’s out of the locker room first as usual. sliding down the wall, he sits down a foot away from you. you’re focused on something that he isn’t sure what.

you shift in your position, quickly casting a look at him before whipping your head back.

he sees you scribbling hard on the paper, then erasing it even harder. it’s when you let out a sigh when he decides to step in.

“are you okay, y/n? do you need help with anything?”

he usually wouldn’t help anyone else, but you’re next to him already, he tells himself.

“oh! hi kozume-san! no i’m okay—just finishing this sudoku puzzle my friend gave me!”

“i told you to call me kenma, i don’t like formalities like that.”

you can feel your cheeks heating up, as you awkwared cover them with your hand you exclaim, “i’m so sorry kozu-kenma! i’ll call you that from now on!”

“it’s okay y/n. just don’t forget next time, okay?”

you agree immediately, and it works for the next couple of hours. until he makes another mistake.

he’s on the floor before he knows it, he can hear the ball slam on the floor, but he can’t ignore the throbbing pain shooting through his body.

his ankle seems to look fine, but he knows he landed wrong after jumping for the ball. he takes his ankle and massages it, it doesn’t do much but he continues to do it anyways.

he can hear a group of footsteps run to him, but his vision seems to be tunneled.

throughout the many voices he can hear yours, loud and clear. “kozume! are you okay?”

he looks up at you, “kenma.”

the team all looks at him in confusion, a few mutters of people calling him delirious.

but you, you immediately get it, your cheeks turn a slight pink shade as you offer him a helping hand.

“sorry kenma! i’ll take you to the nurse now.” he gladly takes your hand. wanting to feel the softness of it forever, but you let go once he’s up.

everyone watches as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and limps to the door, once you’re at it you look back and yell. “me and kozume-san will be back soon! so keep practicing everyone!”

it’s been four months, but still you can’t seem to get over your habit.

many things have changed over the past few months, one being that you and kenma have been dating for two of those months.

though that habit seemed to stick with you even as time went on.

“kozume!” you exclaim, wrapping your arms around him.

a small chuckle escapes his lips, he wraps his arms around you. “you’re still forgetting to call me kenma, y/n.”

“old habits die hard,” you giggle, “oh! also—you’re late for practice! tetsurou was spamming your phone with calls, did you forget?”

over time, you’ve grown much more comfortable with him, as he had with you. even though at the time his ankle seemed to be the worse thing that ever happened to him, it also happened to be the catalyst of your relationship.

he’s grateful for landing wrong fore without that small flap of a butterflies wing, he wouldn’t have memorized the shape of your lips, or the sound of your laugh, or the small moles adorning your face.

“wait—tetsurou?”

you let out a breathy laugh, “yeah he told me to call him by his first name! you don’t mind, do you?”

“you remembered to say his first name but not mine?”

“kodzu-ken i mean. i think kozume is cute! it rolls off the tongue better. i’m sorry!” you raise your hands in defeat, but he’s already walking ahead of you to practice.

you chase after him, “kodzu—kenma wait!”

planting a kiss on his cheek, you take his hand, skipping happily to practice dragging him behind.

“kozume skip with me!”

“i’m not doing that.”

kenma hates the formality of when someone calls him kozume instead of kenma, but with the way his name sounds when you say it, he can’t find it in himself to mind.

yenqa © do not copy, steal or translate.

[backwardsbread]

Hazbin Hotel Characters:

~First I love you~

Warnings‼️: use of pet names, a dash of angst for Adam and Lucifer (I’m sorry), swearing, GN!Reader, Lucifer doesn’t really say it but it’s still cute I think.

A/N:Okay I’m VERY into fluffy scenarios with these characters rn- MY HEART- thank you guys for all the love towards these and I hope you enjoy! This is sorta rushed because I’m TIRED and working on TOO MANY THINGS.;-;

~not proofread~

Vox:

I’ve mentioned this in previous headcannons with Vox, but dating someone was most definitely not part of his plan.

He views himself as this big bad overlord who would never go soft for anyone.

Dude thinks he’s too good for anybody, even Vel and Val sometimes. He’s very proud of his work and what he does and doesn’t like anyone getting in the way of that.

You’re only a slight exception.

Who he would literally do anything for

He tries to keep your guys’ relationship very much under wraps. He understands how dangerous of a person he is to be around.

Sharing your relationship to the public would basically be an open invitation for anyone who has beef with Vox,

Including a pesky radio demon

To target you.

So while he denies your guys’ relationship to anyone and everyone, it’s understood between the two of you what you guys truly have.

However, Velvette and Val are able to see right through Vox’s bullshit when he starts getting feelings for you. They see how he reacts to your messages, your affections, and your presence.

They know Vox has a soft spot for you, but since they like their heads attached to their bodies, they keep their mouths shut.

As his feelings for you grow, it became more and more obvious to anyone with common sense what was going on.

The man literally relaxes at the mention of you.

Unbeknownst to Vox, literally EVERYONE knows about your guys’ ‘secret’ relationship.

Vox doesn’t realize how easy he is to read. He’s an impulsive liar, and a good one at that, but his actions very much contradict the lies he spits.

He could literally be screaming at one of his employees for who knows what, and if you walk into the room, his eyes soften and his attention is on you.

He’s straightening out his posture, trying to look as if he wasn’t about to murder one of his employees.

(He would deal with them later)

Despite how obvious his and your feelings are towards one another, Vox still doesn’t make anything public, letting fans and overlords alike to speculate.

It was a poorly kept secret but one the two of you mutually agreed to keep.

You are in Hell afterall. Saying you were the TV faced overlords significant other was like sticking a paper on your back that says ‘Kick me’

Vox does his best to balance his life with you and his work life. Work was all he ever knew, so when you entered his afterlife, scheduling became a huge issue.

He would love to spend every moment by your side but he’s work too hard. His empire is too important to him.

So while the two of you didn’t go out too frequently on dates or outings,

(But trust me when you do, it is luxurious. He makes the limited time you spend together worth it.)

Vox was always making a way to communicate with you.

Whether that be via phone call or through text messages, he’s always making sure to make an effort to spend time with you. Even if it was just hearing your voice and seeing your words through a screen.

On your off days, he keeps you on an ongoing call in his TV room at all times. Unless you have something planned of course, then it’s back to the texting.

He would be in and out of his screen room frequently between meetings and whatever other things he had to do. The little lair of his was where he spent a lot of his time catching up on paperwork, checking up on the latest releases, and working through the insane amount of work emails he received.

All while talking to you. Whether it was ranting about his day or yours, or if it was talking about what your guys’ next date would be or even just enjoying each other's silent, distant, company.

That brought you to now; listening to your significant other rant about his overlord associates who had sprung a last minute meeting on him.

You listen to him shuffling around his office, grumbling as he put on his suit jacket.

He rambled on grumpily while you listened with an amused smile. He swore under his breath as he looked at his watch.

"Alright doll, I'll be back in about an hour."

"Boooo."

"I know, but once this bullshit is over, I just have paperwork so I'll be all yours, I’ll talk to you later."

"Alright, see you in a bit, I love you.”

“Mhm, Love you too.”

Vox hurries out of his media room without a second thought, zapping into a nearby security camera and appearing into the meeting room in a bolt of electricity.

He begrudgingly sat in his chair slumping into himself and mentally preparing for the chaos his coworkers were about to create.

As Velvette and Val went at each other throats, his mind drifted to the thought of you.

God, he would give anything to just be next to you instead on enduring this Hell within Hell.

He zoned out, thinking about how you were sitting on call in his office, waiting for his return. You were so loyal to him.

He thought about you, your company and your voice, the way you sounded when you said you loved him.

Realization hits him like a freight train, his screen glitching out a bit and his fans kicking into high gear as he replays the conversation the two of you had before his abrupt departure.

He kind of stays in stunned silence for a moment, in complete utter shock. Was he dreaming?? He said it back so casually! Too casually!

He whips out his phone, shooting you a quick text:

~“You said you loved me??????”

It takes a few seconds for you to respond, but it feels far too long for Vox.

~“Yeah? You said it back”

~“I didn’t realize I did.”

~“Oh. Did you not mean to?”

~“No!”

~“Fuck that came out wrong. Hold on.”

Vox went into panic mode, his screen glitching in and out. Velvette and Valentinos arguing becoming muted background noise.

He tried his best not to blue screen or shut down completely, taking a deep breath to regain composure before he texted you back.

~“I do. I love you too.”

And boy are you glad Vox can’t see your right now because you are sure he would be soaking in your embarrassment with that prideful grin on his face.

You knew you said it first and honestly it felt natural coming out.

But knowing Vox felt the same, hearing him saying it, or well, seeing him say it.

Seeing that he got over his own pride to just say it by himself meant a lot to you.

It made your chest feel warm with joy, your stomach fluttered with imaginary butterflies, and your face burned red from those words that somehow meant more coming from him.

But of course you couldn’t let him know how giddy he truly made you.

Please don’t boost his ego more-

So instead you respond with;

~“That’s pretty corny, flat screen.”

Your reaction to his admission completely catches Vox off guard. He finds himself smirking to himself, somehow feeling better with you not taking him too seriously.

He couldn’t even hear his coworkers screaming at him, wanting his input on the subject they were arguing about.

He just chuckles to himself, tucking his phone into his pocket. Giving fake hums and nods of acknowledgment. Replaying those three little words in his head over and over and over.

Adam:

Holy shit, this man is too up his own ass to realize how bad he’s got it for you.

Don’t get me wrong, the man’s stuck up. He’s selfish. But whatever you ask?

Yeah you’ve got it or it’s at least getting done by the end of the day.

He’s got it bad.

He usually denies your request at first. He’s ’above such things’.

But whatever request it may be, whether it be him stopping to get food or requesting a late night cuddle session. He’s a sucker for you.

And everyone knows it but he will deny it to no end. No way is he soft for you. Nu-uh.

Because of his status and massive ego, it stops him from acting how he wants to around you for a long time.

Like, he’d love to hold your hand, be with you 24/7 in the streets of heaven.

But deep down he’s super self conscious about getting into a relationship. Man lost not one, but TWO wives that’s were MADE for him.

You’re good at getting him to show his true colors though. Straightening him out when he’s pushed too far.

He definitely made a big show about asking you out as well. Mostly to make himself less nervous about doing it.

According to him ‘it’s an honor he’s even asking you’

Which lead to you giving him a death glare and ignoring his ask the rest of the day until he asked you genuinely.

(He then surprised you at the end of the day with chocolates, a romantic dinner, and a huge blanket fort, where you guys cuddled and watched movies until 2 am. Where he asks you again to be his partner properly this time, not letting his ego get the better of him.)

But that aside, you’re one of the few people who can see through Adam’s egotistical exterior.

I hc that he’s a big softie. So oh boy, when you utter these three little words to him, they gain so much more meaning.

I mean we already know the man loves praise. Hearing it from you is a whole different level of euphoria.

It was the morning of an extermination, and while you weren’t meant to know, Adam couldn’t keep anything from you. You ended up finding out about his yearly activities in killing sinners.

The two of you didn’t speak of it often. It’s not like Adam was supposed to speak on the matter anyways.

But when you heard about the exterminations now coming twice a year?

You couldn’t help but feel nervous for your significant other. Sure Adam was strong, but who knew what the hell spawn were capable of?

Adam had finished getting dressed, walking out of his room with his mask in hand.

He seemed like a giddy child, muttering excitedly how he ready he was. It was a way to get the adrenaline flowing and get him hyped for the big day.

Despite how gruesome it was, he did love his job and the praise he received for it.

You’re laying on the couch watching Adam, hearing only your heartbeat in your ears. You watch Adam put on his mask, looking towards you and giving a small wave.

“Alright babe! I’ll see ya later. Hey, you should order from that one kick ass pizza place tonight! Celebration dinner after I wipe out those fuckin’ hellspawn!”

You’re quick to blink out of your panicked daze, swinging your legs over the cushions and nearly tripping over yourself as you go over to him before he can get out the door.

You let out a breath, brushing off nonexistent dust off his pristine war outfit.

“Just.. don’t be stupid. Alright? Don’t go biting off more than you can chew.”

“Uhh. Babe. You do realize who you’re dating right?? I’m fucking Adam! The original-.”

“Original dick, first man, yes yes I know.”

He looked at you through his mask, his grin faltering at the edges when he saw your eyes drowning in worry that you hid behind a nervous smile.

You avoid his gaze, continuing to try and find things in his outfit to straighten out before he can leave.

If you’re lucky, you’ll find something bad enough causing him to have to stay home.

Where it was safe with you.

Adam puts a hand over your own, stopping you from brushing imaginary fuzz off the front of his shirt.

You meet his gaze, and despite his mask being on, you see a genuine soft smile. One of adoration and reassurance.

One that made you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in.

You press a quick kiss against his mask where a projection of his lips were.

He always hated when you did that. You depriving him of your real soft lips against his own.

Just ask him to take the mask off, he would do it if it meant he could kiss you.

Before he can complain, you gently squeeze his hand, letting out a whispered voice. Almost sounding too nervous- no, too scared- to speak.

“I love you.. please be careful..”

You go to let go of his hand so he can be on his merry way. But he’s quick to process your words.

He tightens his grip on your hand, pulling you in closer to him. A look of shock is evident on his face.

He squeezes your hand, pulling you against his chest. He moves his face, almost uncomfortably close, with his mask causing forced distance between you.

“Say that again.”

Now you were a little confused.

What did you even say again?

Did Adam suddenly get cold feet with the whole extermination?

He kept your body in a sort of pose that looked like you were going to start dancing.

His one hand in your own, holding tightly while his other arm wrapped around your torso, hand pressed against the small of your back to keep you close.

Your body pressed against his, it seemed he only wanted you closer, keeping a firm arm wrapped around your torso while you waited for you to repeat your words.

You look up at Adam, repeating your own words in your head. The realization of what you said and, what he wanted to hear again from you, made your face flush from light shades of pink to dark hues of red.

Adam has a smug grin on his face, keeping his tight grip on you. Refusing to let you go until you give him what he wants.

You see the look on his face and roll your eyes a bit while smiling. In a sudden rush of confidence, you kiss his mask again, wiping that smug smirk off his face.

“I love you.. be careful.”

You repeat, once again before Adam can complain about your teased kisses.

Part of Adam is glad you can’t see his face, which was burning red from your actions and words. You speaking sweetness enough to make him melt in your arms.

Those three little words that seemed so cliche before you uttered them.

He lets go of your hand so he can lift his mask off over his head. As soon as it’s off, he’s leaning in to kiss you. Just before his lips reach yours, whispering back a small:

“I love you too, babe.”

And just like that, he’s kissing you in the most soft and genuine way Adam can be. How he always was with you.

You didn’t know that would be the first and last time you would get to utter those words to your partner.

You didn’t know Adam wouldn’t be returning back to heaven after his expedition.

You didn’t know you’d only be able to hold his empty halo, whispering the lost words you never got to say to him.

Adam never planned to leave you alone questioning your faith.

You didn’t know, but at least Adam knew you loved him before it was too late.

Lucifer:

Another big sap despite his title.

Of ya know. The devil.

He met you a few months after Lillith left. So you saw him at rock bottom.

You met him at rock bottom. Wallowing in sorrows and self pity, waiting for his wife to return.

You never did pry at the king, one because he was your superior, and two because he was never in the right mind space to listen to you.

You offered an ear when he needed, an occasional shoulder to lean on when Lucifer had downed too many bottles.

You made sure the king stayed fed and physically stable. Forcing him out of bed on bad days.

(Well i wouldn’t say forcing. You’d sit beside him, rubbing his back while he lets gentle tears fall down his face. Whispering reassuring words and asking what he wants to eat so he would get up and get his desired meal you serve)

(It’s more of convincing and encouraging)

Lucifer had spent his eternity with Lillith. Having been with someone so long, he couldn’t imagine his life without her.

He was angry. He was grief stricken. He was confused. He was sad.

Her departure tore him and the family they had made apart.

You made him feel normal again. Like he wasn’t a failure of a king, husband, and father. You made him feel okay about himself.

Slowly over the years, Lucifer was recovering. It was painfully slow, but you had patience. These things took time overall.

He would never truly be over his wife’s leaving, not really knowing the reason why she had gone, only blaming himself for it.

A part of his heart was torn out that day, but you worked to fill it with new hope.

Lucifer is completely blind to your doing for awhile. I mean he spent a couple years disassociated from everything.

You provided everything for him and he barely knew anything about you. What was your intent in the first place?

He did ask you this once, why you were helping him. Why you did what you did.

Your reason was simple but struck a chord with Lucifer.

You said he deserved to be loved.

Loved.

He had half the mind to burst out in tears right then and there

After that admission, Lucifer set a goal to become a sort of equal to you. To provide for you as you had for him.

The newfound determination to basically serve you got the king of hell up and moving again.

What the two of you had felt so domestic. Cooking and cleaning together, tending to the garden Lucifer had made with Lillith. He couldn’t bare to step foot in it after she left.

But when he saw you out there in the garden covered in dirt and mud, yanking pesky weeds from the ground.

He couldn’t help but go out there. He didn’t even know you had been tending to it.

Most life had died in the garden with Lucifer’s marriage. Painful and sad

It became a midday chore for you while Lucifer grieved indoors. You caught eye of the gardens beauty one day and thought to spruce it up a bit.

When Lucifer was on his feet again, he joined you in this chore. Trimming away dead branches, pulling weeds, picking fruit that had ripened enough.

While he could just use his angelic power to grow these things, nurturing the plants from the start and watching them thrive and bloom was something he enjoyed ever since creation started.

It was something so special to him. So pure and a reminder of home.

The two of you grew closer with this shared chore, it didn’t quite feel like a chore anymore. As it was something the two of you looked forward to now.

Lucifer could feel himself falling. It was what he was prone to doing. But he couldn’t bring himself to be that vulnerable again.

Everytime he had fallen it left him bruised and lost. And if he lost you, he didn’t know if anyone would come pick him up again.

He could only get so lucky so many times.

He was currently looking at an open space near the center of the extensive garden. Where several paths met up in the middle of the garden. Where large trees formed a sort of dome shape protecting anything beneath them.

Lucifer hummed to himself, sleeves pulled up to his elbows. He tapped his chin thoughtfully, spreading the dirt on his fingertips to his face.

He glanced at how much space there was in the center of the garden. He always thought the center was bland. Sure you could lay down and look up towards Hell’s blood skies, but after centuries of seeing nothing but red above him, the sight got boring.

Besides, his creativity was bubbling in him. Begging for something new.

With a point of his finger, golden hues shot out, a large fountain forming in the middle of the gardens. It wasn’t quite tall enough to reach the trees above, but it did challenge them.

The white cement water fountain had edges to sit comfortably, three tiers, with little ducks on the middle layer spitting out water into the pool below.

Gold accents decorated each layer of the fountain. The pool to hold the water having a ruby red color, making the water appear like blood when it sat at the bottom.

Lucifer walked around the fountain, looking over every detail of his work. Making sure it was pristine and perfect.

He enjoyed it for the smallest moment, leaning his hands against the base of the fountain, leaning in to look at his reflection.

He then grew frustrated, not able to enjoy his own creation. It wasn’t good enough, not if it was made from his hands.

He growled, slapping his hand through the water, causing it to splash out. He gripped the edge of the fountain, gritting his teeth.

“Goodness..”

Your voice made him quite frankly jump into the air, falling onto his butt. His head snapped in your directions.

Your eyes were blown wide while you stared at Lucifer’s newest creation. Hands gripping a basket of freshly picked produce from the garden.

The king sits up, stuttering over himself as you move closer to get a better look at the fountain.

“You made this?”

You ask quietly, gently running your fingertips against the designs of the sides of the fountain, feeling the smooth detailing.

“Yeah I know.. it’s uh.. it’s-..”

“It’s beautiful.”

Lucifer visibly tenses at your words, looking up at you with eyes wide in shock.

He was dumbfounded, he looked like a child sitting on the ground just staring at you like this.

You look down at him, seeing his eyes wide and his jaw practically hanging on the floor. You can’t help but chuckle, deciding to take a seat next to him.

You set the basket between the two of you. Picking up a peach from the basket.

“The produce is growing lovely this year.”

You compliment the gardens hard work. Lucifer blinks out of his daydream, looking at the basket between the two of you.

His heart swells with joy. A sense of accomplishment that his creation, something he made, you thought it was beautiful.

His eyes trail to you. The light peering through the branches above you casting perfect rays on your skin.

Your company felt like home. It felt warm and comforting.

And in this light, in the garden, you looked just like…

“I love y-..”

Lucifer starts to speak before his mind can stop him. When you meet his gaze, his voice catches in his throat.

His face flushes golden colors when he caught himself almost daring to say that to you.

He lets out a comedic laugh, awkward and loud.

“..youuurrr COMPANY! Hah! Wow what a nice day! Gee golly, can’t imagine it any other way haha!”

You stare at him for a moment. Of course you were use to Lucifer’s occasional awkwardness behavior, but often times you had to read between the lines to understand what he truly meant/wanted to say.

You kind of got at what he was trying to say, your heart starting to beat fast in your chest at the thought of it.

But it wasn’t the right time. You knew Lucifer wasn’t ready.

You offer her a small smile, handing the fruit to Lucifer. You reach a hand up to wipe the dirt off his chin.

“I love it too. Any day with you.”

Lucifer’s face flushed gold once again, shoulders relaxing. He instinctively leaned into your touch, looking up at the fountain.

Patience. So patient with him.

[slytherinshua]

SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH

genre. fluff. warnings. eric's yapping abt furry stuff 😟 reader hates on furries. slight make out. not proofread pairing. eric x fem!reader. wc. 951. request. no. a/n. @hursheys i hope this fulfills your eric delusions ☝️ i kinda hate the ending but whatever we're gonna roll with it. net. @deoboyznet

“So then he was like ‘well that’s totally furry behaviour’, and, obviously, I took offense to that. Cause, like, hello that’s absurd! I’m not a furry. I just bark occasionally—”

You were all too familiar with Eric’s chronic insomnia. Much like a toddler, if he didn’t do enough during the day to exhaust his endless energy, he could easily stay up all night with no sense of time or how tired other people (you) were. You closed your eyes, still half-listening to your boyfriend’s rambling, although you had lost the context of it a long time ago. If you were lucky, you might even be able to fall asleep to his yapping…

As if.

“So I was like, ‘dude, I have a girlfriend, why would you even suggest that’!? They went without me— good riddance— and I blocked them too, so there’s no need to worry. Maybe this is what Kevin meant when he warned me to stop hanging out with random people I meet on the streets. But, I met you on the streets too, so I can’t trust anything Kevin says anymore. Imagine if I hadn’t stopped to get your number at the crosswalk? My life would be so boring now!” Eric continued animatedly, drumming his fingers against the pillow that rested in his lap, picking out the rhythm to one of The Boyz’s songs.

“And I might actually be able to get some sleep…” You interjected with a tired whisper, rolling on your side to face your boyfriend. You opened your eyes with a pointed glare, and Eric’s let out a small “oh”.

“Right. Sorry, baby. You should sleep.” He said quickly, plopping down next to you and planting a quick kiss to your forehead. He was quiet for around 3 minutes, before you heard a small whisper close to your face.

“You don’t ever regret taking my number, do you?” You opened one eye to find Eric staring at you, his eyes wide like a puppy’s. 

“No, I don’t regret it.” You said truthfully, a yawn coming in at the end of your response. Eric smiled slightly, his brain telling him that he should let you finally sleep, but it seemed his mouth had other ideas.

“What if I was a furry? Would you still date me?” You had to hold back a laugh at the question, assuming that it was a reference to his earlier rambling. Although you couldn’t recall how the full conversation had gone, you were pretty sure that even if you did, it wouldn’t help you understand Eric’s brain.

“Who said you weren’t already?” You asked sarcastically, earning a pout from the boy that was almost impossible to resist kissing. 

“What if instead of talking to you I just barked in response?” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, silently judging his train of thought that was getting increasingly more unhinged with every minute that went by. You being extremely tired didn’t help with your patience for his incessant questions. You loved your boyfriend, you really did. But sometimes you just wanted him to shut up and let you sleep.

“What if instead of walking—”

Eric thankfully was not able to finish his sentence, which you could only assume had something to do with crawling on all fours or galloping around like a pony, because you had finally given in to your thoughts and shut up his rambling with your lips. He was shocked at first, frozen in place from your sudden movement. But kissing you was as natural as breathing to him, so he quickly found his rhythm, pulling you closer by your waist and kissing you deeply. 

“Was that a yes?” Came Eric’s first words when you broke off for air. 

“If you mean breaking up if you became a furry, then definitely yes. Now shut your pretty mouth.” You stated clearly before crashing your lips onto his again, giving him no opportunity to protest.

It was surprising how easy it was to get lost in the kiss even when you were exhausted. With Eric eagerly leading, it was simple enough to just let him do most of the work. You tangled your fingers in his blonde hair as he squeezed your waist, letting his tongue slip past your lips gently. 

It seemed your kissing idea worked wonders to exhaust your boyfriend’s energy, as when he broke it off and fell back onto the pillow, he wrapped you up in his arms and let his eyes fall close. You could feel his heart racing, your ear resting over his chest. His cheeks were flushed a pretty pink colour and his lips slightly swollen from the prolonged kiss. As his heartbeat slowed to a regular speed, you naturally matched your breathing with it, and the repetition lulled you to sleep quickly.

Eric held you tightly in his arms, listening to your steady breathing. He was tired, but his mind still raced with thoughts. Rather than meaningless questions he loved to throw at you, they all shifted to thoughts of you. He didn’t deserve your patience at the best of times, and was forever thankful that you truly loved him for himself. 

He knew he could be overbearing and exhausting at times, but he tried his best to balance it with the soft romantic moments that you and him both loved. You were quite similar to each other, the more Eric thought about. Although you were definitely more subdued, which balanced his exuberant energy quite well.

He sniffed, not having realized until now that his eyes had welled up with tears from his thoughts. He sheepishly blinked them away and held you a little closer in his arms, falling into his dreamland with you.

↳ the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,,

@lecheugo,, @seunghancore,, @heavenfilm,, @recordsfilm,, @bananabubble,,

@talking-saxy,, @cupidslovearrows,, @hursheys,, @gong-fourz

[mactavishsgfandwife]

saw that ur reqs r open, and i love all ur work sooo here i am lol

what would the tf141 boys be like w a reader who’s into horror? (i was thinking reader is like rlly sweet but loves playing horror video games or smth, but u can interpret it however u want!)

i can js imagine johnny freaking out when he sees reader playing like,,silent hill or smth. or resident evil 7 (can u tell im a horror game nerd lol)

but yeah! js a silly little idea i had, feel free not to write it if u don’t want to! have a good day, ily!

TF141 Watching a Horror Movie With You 🎃

hi omg this is such a cute concept!! thank you so much for the support, you have no idea how much i appreciate it! i have so many ideas for them with someone who loves horror movies so that’s what this post is about (i hope that’s ok :( ) but i’ll try to write about horror games another time because that’s such a cute concept! i just have lots of ideas for this one rn so i thought i’d do it first female reader, fluff, not proofread <3

Simon "Ghost" Riley thinks it’s cute that you love horror movies. He spends half his life in a real-life horror, he’s seen things that you could never imagine. Teasingly calls you a ‘psycho’ for just sitting there happily, cuddled up to him as you watch something absolutely terrifying go down on the screen.

Simon is a pain in the ass to watch certain horror movies with, because if guns or fighting are involved then he will make sure to point out to you exactly what the directors got wrong.

"He’s holding it wrong… if I even… Price’d never let me hear t’end of it," he mumbles, not talking to anyone in particular.

When you cuddle on the sofa, if you’re laying face down on his chest, he loves to keep one hand on your ass. Sometimes, if something does make him jump, he’ll squeeze it out of instinct.

People don’t usually expect it but you’re very good with scary stuff, you rarely ever get spooked out. But sometimes you do, especially if you’re tired and it’s late.

Once, after you’d watched a film, you went to get ready for bed and Simon went ‘to eat something’. Even when you were all changed and ready for bed, he still hadn’t returned, and so - twiddling your fingers together for reassurance - you peeked out into the darkened hallway.

Only for a 6'4" soldier in a skull mask, wielding a cup of tea, to jump out at you from behind.

You screamed, stumbling back in a state of panicked confusion, about to cry out for Simon when you came to your senses and realised that the masked intruder was Simon.

He stood there, laughing his ass off, until he realised that you were obviously very on edge and a little bit teary eyed.

"C’mere…" he sighed, placing down his tea to take you into his arms, "i’m sorry, baby girl, please don’t cry…" Your heart was racing and you were debating whether or not to slap him, but you knew he didn’t mean to upset you. And you were happy so long as he made up for it.

Soap Mactavish claims that he’s not scared of anything. Nooo, no way, he’s not scared. He’s so not scared that he’s looking away and squeezing your hand.

Poor guy is so easily jumpscared, it makes you giggle.

"You sure this i’nt going t’be too scary for you, bonnie?" he coos, placing an arm around your shoulder as he half-watches the film that has plunged into a strange silence. He’s definitely trying (and failing) to be subtle as he flexed his muscular arms a little bit, in an attempt to show off.

"Oh yeah, don’t worry," you nod sweetly, smiling up at him.

"I’m just saying, angel, if you need to bury your head into my chest, or if you can’t look, then that’s okay, you just go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I’m a soldier, I could easily take on any- Shit! Fucking hell!" he jumps, squealing and then clearing his throat in a poor attempt to disguise it.

"You sure this isn’t going to be too scary for you, bonnie baby..?" you tease, kissing his cheek.

"Lay off it," he pouts, blushing a little bit as he nuzzles his face into your hair.

Alsoooo Johnny is a fiend for feeling you up when you’re watching a film together. He sees it as a perfect opportunity to get to know his pretty lass a little bit better.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick’s favourite part of movie night is the food. He loves takeaway (he’s definitely a Nando’s lover) but his absolute favourite food is your home cooking. When he was asked his favourite food when he was younger, he was always the one kid who would say "whatever my mum makes!" and now he’s an adult it’s just the same, but "whatever my girlfriend makes!" Whenever he realises you’re going to watch a film, whether you invited him or not, he will call out to you from the other room to "HOLD ON!" as he grabs snacks and drinks for the two of you.

Gaz isn’t too easily creeped out, but it happens. He’ll never admit that it’s because he was scared, but you’ve definitely noticed him ‘accidentally’ leaving the hallway light on. If it wasn’t an ‘accident’, then he obviously did it so that you wouldn’t feel scared in the night. He probably realises that you can see right through him, but you always say you believe him, just to make him feel better.

Kyle’s favourite horror movie series is Paranormal Activity, because it’s a so-bad-it’s-good kind of thing. He loves sitting in bed, eating popcorn, with you in his lap, laughing til you cry at all his jokes about how horrendously made the films are. Once, he was taking the piss out of how bad the film you were watching was and then immediately got jumpscared. He even let out a weird noise in shock - he didn’t hear the end of it for weeks.

Even if he’s not cuddling you as close as possible, Gaz loves to rouch you, usually by holding you with one arm as you rest your head on his shoulder. He is a serial thigh-squeezer.

John Price is a total dad, and that extends to when you can convince him to watch one of your favourite films with you. He wants to watch the movie, it’s not his fault if he falls asleep 15 minutes in every single time.

He lets you lay on his broad chest, that’s warm and rises and fall under your head, while he rests his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. He’s prone to snoring, too - in past, you’ve had to rewind the film because you missed part of it while you were trying to get him to wake up and shut up. The only sureproof way to wake him up is to try and move off of him - he’ll open one eye and grumble at you, as he pulls you right back into him.

"You’re not even watching the film, you’re asleep…" you whine, looking up at him.

"’M watching, love. Shhh," he mumbles, eyes still closed as he softly pats your hair.

"Are not," you pout.

"Shhh. ‘M trying to watch this," he hushes you, eyes closed and totally ready to go back to sleep. You’re almost annoyed at him but he makes that very hard, breathing softly through that moustache as he presses you against him, like you’re a teddy or a weighted blanket.

In terms of the films himself, Price isn’t easily scared (partly helped by the fact that he spends half of the time asleep). The first time that you two watched something scary together, he was almost expecting you to be terrified, but he was pleasantly surprised when you weren’t. He thinks it’s funny how you can sit in his lap perfectly happy and watch something that would have any ‘sensible’ (as he puts it) girl screaming.

He either gets very irritated by the main characters making terrible decisions and getting themselves into trouble, or finds it hilarious. He also loves to rub your feet while you watch the movie, literal princess treatment.

i kind of want to watch a horror movie nowwww

all pictures are from the game or from pinterest as far as i’m aware

i hope this was ok for you!!! i know it’s not exactly what you wanted but maybe we can just consider it part 1 of the horror obsessed reader saga >:)

masterlist

[xcyphoz0a]

Hello there! I hope your day is going well, but if not I hope it gets better dude!!!🤗

I wanted to know if it’s alright to request an idea for sagau? Like I might make a post about this but I always thought it would be cool to have y/n retain some realistic features even though they isekai into tevat!

Like for example; the hair being more textured, shines in reflection , the way they would have different shades and saturation throughout the skin, they way how your touch feels ‘real’ or different, oh and ur eyes, oh how the characters could look how your pupils reflects, etc.

Idk I always thought if I were to make and character of mine or y/n still retaining little features they had back their own world seem kind of cool and interesting to think how people would react to it!

Even better is if they don’t know you’re the ‘creator’ of their reality and they were only able to hear your voice and how you express yourself!!

Anyways sorry for making this so long 🥲 I’m just kind of curious on how you or others would feel on this idea 💡

Unique differences

Gender neutral reader, ideas TW/CW: sagau Character(s): Some characters from Mondstadt Word count: 608 Proofread: n/a | The differences you hold is what makes you unique, so special, lovable. | A/N: hello! I hope this fits your tastes..? might have a part two if i manage to find some more ideas!

Taglist: @chaoffee

When you arrive you probably don’t know why some random citizens look at you with such amazed, perplexed gazes, with you likely thinking there’s something on your face that you don’t know was there.

You’re also slightly confused why the hilichurls don’t attack when you’re an inch near them, and why the slimes seem to be more docile, why you barely manage to see abyss mages– everything’s odd.

If you arrive near Mondstadt, Amber is the first one to find you and lead you towards the headquarters of the knights of Favonius, but she definitely notices something different with you. You haven’t spoken yet, so she doesn’t know who you really are, perhaps, you’re like the traveller, she thinks.

But when you properly introduce yourself to Jean and the others the whole knights that are in the headquarters, such as Albedo, Sucrose, Kaeya, Lisa, perhaps Eula, gather around you, murmuring to themselves that you’re 99% the creator that they’ve only ever heard, and you’re just standing there. 

With your voice, the different, more dynamic and ‘lively’ look that you have seemed to make more sense–your eyes held the shine and reflection of their own appearance, your skin seemed to be much softer… and you assume that you’ve managed to retain some realer features you had in your original world.

Don’t worry, don’t fret, they love you with or without differences. Even if you weren’t the creator, Mondstadt welcomes you with open arms.

Best to say now the whole of Mondstadt finally knows their creator’s here in their region.

While Albedo knows that you are the creator, he can’t help but wonder if he can try to run some tests–he doesn’t want to hurt you, he just has an infinite curiosity ridden area in his mind.

Same goes for Sucrose too, but she doesn’t want to come off as rude or disrespectful, so she only holds these curiosities within her, oftentimes writing this in her journal, it’s not creepy, I promise.

Jean finds your presence nice, but more than others, it feels as if you’re like a safe haven for her with only just your presence, and you can visibly see her tired eyes brighten up when you pat her head for her hard work.

For Lisa, she also holds some questions for you, though she’d rather stay where she is, watching and hearing you enthusiastically talk about the books and literature in your world in the library.

Diluc wishes he was the person to find you first and lead you to Mondstadt– his feelings towards the knights of Favonius may be neutral and slightly, very slightly bad, but he’s still grateful that you managed to arrive safely. If you manage to visit Angel’s Share often, he’s somehow always there, wiping a glass or two.

Kaeya’s teasing his brother. No hard feelings though! Just pure friendly sibling rivalry. But when you’re near, his charismatic face fades as he’s rendered to someone yearning for affection–it’s adorable.

Same goes for Eula. She’s not often seen in Mondstadt due to her… ‘status’, but when you welcome her with open arms and no judgemental gaze, she feels… so appreciated. She’s barely felt this before other than in the knights of Favonius, but this… feels more different, warm, loving.

Venti’s elated, often like him a majority of times, but for him, he feels the joy that he’s never felt before–it’s pure, unadulterated joy that stems from his chest, as his mind fills with endless pure and innocent praise and lyrics for you with his lyre. The weather in Mondstadt seems to be more light, a refreshing breeze whenever Venti’s with you for some reason…

[tkaulitzlvr]

THE WRONG WAY - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: tom hasn’t been paying you enough attention lately, and, when you finally snap, he can’t understand where you are coming from, until you reach your breaking point. can the issues between you and him be resolved?

content: angst

a/n: pulled this out of my ass lol, i had to rush it because i’m in the middle of another req but it’s nowhere near done after like three hours of writing so i’ll have to finish and post it tomorrow. sorry if there are mistakes, i only proofread veryyy briefly cause i’m so tired rn😭 hope this is okay tho!!

"you don't love me."

i voice the harsh words to the silent room, clearly and with every sense of belief behind my statement. to my discomfort, saying it out loud does not make me feel any more at ease, in fact seeing the way tom’s entire body breaks for a second, processing what i had just said, before trying to cover the hurt on his face up, only suffocates me even more. the lump in my throat only gets bigger, the tension in the air thickening by the second.

"wow." he begins, shaking his head, trying to wrap his head around how i could even come to that conclusion. "that’s an awful accusation." he glances at me, his eyes already glossy, giving me enough of an idea on how much i have hurt him by uttering those four words. however i stick to it, figuring that it is too late to back out now. within me, behind all the anger, all the upset, i feel that it is true. i sense that he no longer feels the same way he did when he met me, all those years ago, the love within his eyes slowly diminishing until it is now long gone.

"and also." he speaks, leaning forward and looking directly into my eyes, staying in his position spread on the end of the other couch. "it's not true. you know it isn't."

the pressure of his gaze leaves me unable to hold eye contact with him, looking away sheepishly into my lap, hoping that somehow the ground could swallow me up. i grit my teeth, locking my jaw in anger, feeling no reassurance from his quick denial of my statement. so i decide to challenge him, standing my ground despite the nausea only growing within me. though his voice seems somewhat certain, i refuse to believe that i am making it up, that it is all in my head. "do i though tom?"

my eyes meet his, except the ones looking into me are foreign. they are angry, a glint of hostility present within them that i had not yet witnessed, this change taking me aback, yet i refuse to look away. he is sad. those eyes, past the resentment in them, i see pain. i see sorrow. i have upset him, far beyond what he intends to let out. he is usually strong, and perhaps right now he thinks that he is keeping this up, yet i can read him like a book, the way his left brow furrows, creating a crease along his forehead, the way his eyes cannot focus on one thing, darting around the room, i can see that he is struggling. and whilst part of me hurts with him, hating to put him through any sort of distress, i need it right now. because i am tired of feeling unloved and unappreciated - regardless of whether tom intends to make me feel this way or not.

he shakes his head, scoffing slightly in disbelief, letting out a shaky sigh, before speaking up, his voice loud, in contrast to the silent room. "what, so i've been lying every single time i’ve told you that i love you, over the past six years that we've been together? mind you, i say that every day, without fail."

i stay silent, my eyes becoming glossy as they quickly tear away from his. he takes my silence as a cue to continue, my sudden belief that he does not love me angering him as he desperately seeks to remind me of every reason why i am in the wrong. "don't i do everything for you? make sure that you're always safe, give you my everything-"

"give me your money, you mean." i reply, cutting him off. i don’t want to seem ungrateful - i appreciate the way tom would spend any amount of money on me if it made me happy. i am thankful for the house he has given me, the vacations he takes me on, the things he buys me, but those things are not the reasons why i fell in love with him. i fell for tom kaulitz. not his money, not his fame, not his profession. i fell for who he is, for him as a person, whether he is rich or poor, yet it feels that day by day i lose a small part of that. i have always understood that his job means that he will be away a lot, but it is hard to be in a relationship with someone that can't always be there, only their fortunes can.

"i’m grateful for what you do for me, really i am, but i'd much rather have time with you than the latest gucci bag, or the newest chanel perfume. if it meant that i would have to live with nothing for the rest of my life, i would do it. don't you understand? i want you - not your money tom! i don't need you to apologise with gifts when i don’t see you all day, i just...i need you." i am desperate, craving for him to hear me out, to understand that it is him that i need, but the way he looks at me in confusion shows me that i am not going to achieve that.

"i thought you liked the things i buy for you. have you been lying?" he completely ignores the point that i have been trying to make, this only fuelling the frustration within me as i exhale shakily, quickly grasping onto the opportunity to argue my point once again.

"i do but that's not the point tom! i like them because i feel like it's all i get from you!" my voice is raising, something which i did not want to happen. shouting never solves the problem, however right now i am far too angry to care. "i just want some of your time, to feel like you actually care! when you're with me, you're here physically, but your mind is always elsewhere. i just miss you. i need to you be mine again, i-"

"look, i’m sorry okay?" he begins, harshly cutting me off and matching the volume in my voice. "i'm sorry that my job is more demanding than others, i’m sorry that it needs a lot of my attention, but i told you this from the beginning. my career is a big part of who i am and things aren't always easy. they get hard, they get tough, but-"

"that's my problem! when things get hard for you, i don't fucking know about it! because you shut me out, every. single. time. i'm your girlfriend, tom. i want to know about your life, i want to help you, but you always run away from me! you spoil me with gifts and money to compensate for every fucking time you leave me in the dark! i don't want it anymore. i just want you to communicate!" i move from the couch, walking to the middle of the room and standing a few feet away from him. his eyes are glued to me, watching my every step, and he is listening to me this time. "am i such a headache to be around, that you can't talk to me? that you can't deal with spending time with me, so instead you spend your money to try and shut me up, because you have so much that no matter what you buy, it doesn't affect you?"

"don't." he voices shakily as i stare into his eyes, his expression more wounded than ever. my words stab into him, hitting him harder than i had anticipated. his fists clench against his thighs, holding every ounce of frustration. though we have argued in the past, i have never seen him this upset, regardless of whether he intends to show it visibly or not. "you know that i don't think of you that way, even for a second. so stop."

"you can't blame me for thinking it tom." i shrug. "you leave me out of everything, i have no idea what's going on in your life anymore-"

“because i'm trying to fucking protect you!" he interrupts, raising his voice once again. his hand slams against the arm of the couch, the sudden contact causing me to wince slightly. "i'm sorry if you feel like i'm hiding things from you. but i know parts of my life would just stress you out and hurt you. don't you get that? i'm trying to save you from the pain-"

"i want the fucking pain!" i fire back. "we are supposed to be in a relationship. do you know what that means? i want to suffer with you. i would choose that, a million times over, if it meant that i could be with you for another day. i want every part of you, the sad, the happy, the angry, i want it all. can't you see that i need you? i hate being left in the dark. i absolutely fucking hate it.”

my voice pierces through his ears, diminishing the tense silence as tom gulps, clenching his jaw and leaning forwards, pinching his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. the rash and quick responses don’t allow me time to calm down, my eyes becoming glossy with tears, the salty liquid staining my cheeks before i can try to hold them back, my weakness just as evident as tom’s. the pain, the upset, the lack of affection that have been feeling all spills out, reeling outwards from within me as i let it out, no longer attempting to hold back.

he looks up, his face softening as he takes in my hurt expression. he has never seen me like this, so broken, and the fact that he is the cause of this pains him even more, his mind coming to the slow realisation that it is up to him to fix this. although he doesn’t fully understand how i could possibly believe that he does not love me, he wants to try, to try and see from my eyes. he lets out a shaky sigh, swallowing nervously before looking into my eyes.

"i would rather feel the sadness, suffer with you." i begin, my voice small as the tears quickly take away my physical strength. "i would do absolutely anything if it means that you will love me, that you will do it with me, tom."

"i don't live a normal life, and i just want to keep you away from the crazy things." he speaks slowly, trying to reason with me, refusing to turn his gaze away from mine. "some people want to hurt me, and i would never forgive myself if someone ever did anything to harm you."

i try to wipe my tears and calm my breathing, wrapping my arms around my small frame in an attempt to comfort myself, quickly becoming overwhelmed with the situation. but my mind acknowledges tom’s change in tone. not only is he more gentle and calm, he also seems sorry, like he now recognises where he went wrong.

"what do you want me to do?" he whispers, defeated as his tired eyes meet mine. he is no longer angry. he is desperate, longing to resolve this. "i'll do anything. i- i can't lose you. you're my world, schatz, and i'm sorry if i haven't shown it, but you are everything to me."

though there are millions of things i could say, i stay silent, standing still across the room. my heart clenches painfully, hurting at the sight of him so distraught, as his mind considers the dreaded idea of what losing me would be like. his world is crumbling before him, the one thing he seeks to protect seeming to slip through his fingers. i have never seen him like this, so vulnerable, so desperate, and whilst it comforts me to know that he is slowly letting down the walls that have prevented me from truly being with him, it saddens me to see him in such a distraught state.

"all i've ever wanted is to keep you safe. to keep you happy, liebe, because if you're happy then so am i. but you deserve more than this." he points to himself angrily, letting out a shaky sigh. "more than this fucking idiot, who doesn't even know how to love. i’m so sorry if i've done it the wrong way and made you feel like i don't care. because you shouldn't for a second think that i don't love you."

everything that i have been craving to see is happening in front of me. i have longed to see him open up, to break down the barriers that separate us both physically and mentally. i don’t want him to be strong all the time, and it hurts that he feels he has to be. the tears fall from my bloodshot eyes once again - this time out of sadness for him. i hurt with him, hating to see him so upset, but i understand his pain, his anger, and i feel every emotion along with him. for the first time in forever, i feel connected with him.

after a few moments of silence, he stands up, slowly walking towards me. i refuse to meet his gaze, fearing that i will break down once again i realise how hurt he truly is, and looking into his eyes will certainly display every emotion amongst his beautiful features. his hand brushes tenderly against my cheek, wiping a fresh tear that had fallen. he reaches towards my chin, using his pointer finger to angle my face upwards so it meets with his eyes. he towers over me, taking in the sorrow etched upon my face, before tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ears, gently caressing my cheek with his lips slightly parted, shaky breaths escaping from them.

"please, look at me." he whispers, gazing longingly into my eyes. i comply, shifting my own eyes to the deep brown ones in front of me. they are full of adoration, and i feel the man that i fell in love with slowly coming back to me. "i love you, so so much, please believe me schatz. you are the most important person in my life, and i am so sorry that i've made you feel the opposite way." he chokes up, his voice shaky as i can tell he is on the verge of tears.

i listen to him, allowing every word to sink in, as it is now no longer hard to trust what he says. i feel what i have been desperate to - love. i feel truly appreciated, like i am able to confide in him like i once could. though frustrated it took the both of us to get to this state to make him speak his mind, i appreciate him opening up, his apology making up for the lost time. there is no shame in being fragile, and through his entire conversation, we have both learned this, a new found appreciation for each other gained as i feel safe again.

"don't feel like you have to keep things to yourself. i’m your girlfriend, i'm supposed to be here for you, and i'll gladly do it, but you have to talk to me." i respond, lacing my hand with his. a soft smile spreads across his face, contrasting with his bloodshot eyes whilst he slowly nods.

"i hear you. i’m so sorry baby. i love you." he whispers, pulling me into a tight hug as his hands lace together around my waist. he lets out a sob onto my shoulder, my heart breaking at the sound. he clutches onto me tighter as if i may slip away, my own eyes tearing up once again. it has been a while since i felt like this. i feel loved, and it is all that i have ever wanted from the start.

he slowly pulls away, resting his forehead against mine and looking into my eyes through his eyelashes. after a few seconds, he leans inwards, until his lips touch mine. the kiss is gentle, carrying every promise to love and cherish me like he has failed to do, and i gladly accept it, kissing back quickly and wrapping my arms around his neck. he pulls away, planting a few pecks on my lips once again, his breath shaky as the remnants of tears stick to his cheeks. i slowly wipe them away, not breaking eye contact as i do so, gently caressing the soft skin until any trace of sadness is lost within our newfound love for each other.

a soft smile graces his lips, failing to wither as he kisses me once again, the same amount of passion as the last, making up for the lost affection as i feel more treasured than ever. this is all I have ever wanted, to feel like he cares, and now that i am feeling his affection, my mind is oozing with contentment, the feeling almost foreign it has been so long.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[tojisblade]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐄 2

— 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 / 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

continuation of this fic (please read for more / better context)

wc; 5.1k (I don't know what happened to me)

content: kento x reader, toji x reader (separately)

warnings: (this is all with toji unless noted otherwise) unprotected sex, overstimulation, breeding kink, oral (toji & reader receiving), fingering, angst, kento gets his heart broken (i'm so sorry), possessive!toji

this is not proofread. i was too tired. please let me know if there is something that makes no sense lmao

taglist: @natriae @sircatchungus @vlsquuu @m0nsterzl0ve @444choso @mikk-o @tian-monique @r0ckst4rjk

you declined every single phone call coming in. 

no matter who it was from, whether it was hana, toji or kento, or somebody from work wanting to update you with something, you didn’t care. you were just sitting in your car, parked on the side of the road as you were just sobbing and trying to figure out what the fuck you were going to do. 

you loved kento. you loved him so much and it hurt you so much that you were the one who caused him so much heartbreak when you vowed to him on your wedding day that you would never do such thing. 

well… things just don’t turn out the way they should, huh? 

you hated every single bit of yourself that made you so obsessed with work and so negligent of what really mattered in life. 

getting sick and tired of the constant ringing of your phone, you picked up; “what? what the fuck do you want?”, you yelled. 

“sorry, sweetie. i… just got worried”, toji mumbled softly, his voice immediately relaxing you. 

“i’m so sorry, toji. i didn’t mean to yell at you. what’s up?” “i was just wondering how you were doing after what happened last night? did you… meet him?”, he asked. 

“mhm. i did. i was there just now”, you replied, putting the call on speakerphone and leaving it on the passenger seat. “it was… intense.”

“i can imagine. do you need to talk about it?”, he offered. you shook your head until you remembered that he couldn’t see you. 

“no, it’s alright. i’m just… going home now. i need to rest. is that okay? i’m just so tired.”

“that’s okay, sweetheart. rest well, yeah? how far away from home are you? do you want me to pick you up somewhere?”

“toji, listen. that’s all so sweet and everything but i just want to be left alone. is that too hard to understand?”, you finally snapped, the frustrations of everything that was happening finally getting to you. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to snap at you. you… were just trying to be nice. i’m just so exhausted. the talk with kento didn’t go as well as i had hoped and it just bugged the hell out of me. i’m going to hang up now, yeah? sorry.” 

once you ended the call without waiting for his reply, you hit your head against the steering wheel, jolting as the horn suddenly went off. “fuck!”, you yelled out, in hopes that screaming would help you. 

it didn’t. 

—

once you were settled back at home, you went back to your old habits of grabbing the nearest bottle of wine and just starting to drink directly from it. once the thoughts and memories were blurred enough, you were just sitting in silence on your couch, hating yourself for how much you hurt the one person you always claimed to love so much. 

drunk actions were mistakes most of the time. and you did one massive one after drinking too much once more. 

because you called kento as you were sobbing, speaking on his voicemail how you hate yourself for hurting him, how you wish you could turn back time and be the wife you wanted to be for him. 

everything just hurt. your heart hurt as you cried before you hung up the phone and just laid there on the couch, still and just staring at the ceiling. you didn‘t even realize how much time passed as you were lost in your thoughts. 

you heard the door unlock, confused at who it possibly could be as you sat up. you lived alone so who the hell could this be? 

“sweetie? y/n, hey, look at me. are you okay?”, the voice was familiar but it felt like it was coming from miles away. “god, how much did you drink? okay, fuck, uhm, hold on.” 

you were carefully laid back onto the couch as the person disappeared in the kitchen, returning with a glass of water. 

“nanami? what are you doing here?”, you slurred as you finally recognized your ex-husband after he made you drink the glass of water. 

“your call had me worried so i asked hana for your spare key that you left with her. i’m… sorry. i shouldn’t have come.”

“no… thank you. you always take care of me. i’m so sorry for everything”, you mumbled as everything you ate and drank tonight slowly started coming up. “oh, shit.” were the only two words coming out of you mouth as you got up and quickly went to the bathroom to vomit. 

nanami followed you quickly and held you from behind so that you didn’t lose your balance. 

once you were done and sitting on the cold tiles of your bathroom, you were slowly sobering up, looking at me. 

“i don’t even remember calling you.” 

“well, i guess you thought it went to voicemail but it didn’t. you were rambling on and on and i just… had to make sure you were okay”, nanami then said. “listen–”

“kento, no. i’m still too drunk and hungover at the same time – don’t ask how, i don’t know either – to talk about this. i just… want to sleep. please?”, you asked him. 

he could see in how your body slacked against the bathtub how exhausted you really were and nodded. “are you done here?”, he pointed to the toilet and you nodded. he got up from next to you and lifted you up with ease; you wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you to your bedroom and let you sit on the bed. 

“let me get you changed, yeah?”

you were too powerless to disagree, so you just nodded and let him do his work. he grabbed some pajamas and undressed you before he helped you into the fresh set of clothes, putting the dirty clothes into the laundry basket before he carefully put the blanket on you. 

kento quickly oriented himself around, placing a bucket next to the bed in case you had to vomit again, looking around and placed a carafe and a glass of water on the nightstand. he cleaned up as much as he could and got too exhausted at the process. 

he would just sit down on the couch for a bit…

he fell asleep. 

— 

when you woke up, you were extremely confused. you were in pajamas, a carafe with water on your nightstand and you sighed, smiling softly. you carefully got up and went to the kitchen slash living room. when you saw kento hugging himself tightly, shivering as he wasn’t covered with a blanket. 

you felt so horrible that you quickly went to grab a thick blanket to put it on him, your emotions on such a massive overdrive that you had tears in your eyes once again. he stayed over all night because of you, huh? 

you put something easy together to cook, not feeling perfect yet to cook something proper but it was important you got something down before you took your pain meds. 

“wait, let me help you with that”, kento suddenly appeared behind you and grabbed some of the eggs you were holding in your hand. 

“good morning”, you smiled at him. “i’m sorry i called you last night. i shouldn’t have. it was wrong of me.” 

“hey, maybe this was something like a sign for us both to have a proper conversation, huh? yesterday didn’t go as well so we could try today again? just to talk. i promise. we should be able to be civil enough to hold a regular conversation, right?”

you nodded. “let’s make breakfast together and then we can talk?”, you suggested and he agreed. 

once the breakfast was ready and served, you sat across from each other and dove in. 

“so… let’s set some little boundaries first: you don’t have to answer anything you’re not comfortable with. but i hope that you answer everything i ask truthfully. i will do the same”, kento started. “with that… can i ask who that was two days ago?”

“that was uh… toji. fushiguro toji. i met him at a bar when i needed to clear my head and he was the bartender. we got into talking, he asked me out but it was just a little dinner between two people. it ended up being more afterwards. we just slept together. i made it clear to him that i was not ready for a relationship at the moment”, you replied truthfully and honestly. 

“so… you didn’t know him… before?”

“no. as i said yesterday, i never cheated on you or have considered cheating on you throughout our entire relationship and marriage. what… about you? met someone new yet?”

he just shook his head. 

“i’m still kind of processing the divorce”, kento replied. 

“i want to apologize, kento. for how i handled the last moments of our relationship. it was not fair of me and i realize now the many mistakes i made during our marriage”, you mumbled. “and me sleeping with somebody else so quickly after probably made you doubt everything you believed in. god, i’m so stupid.” 

“no, listen, sweetie. i’m not angry that you slept with someone else. it’s okay. i promise. we’re no longer married, you have no sort of commitment to me and you’re absolutely free to do whatever you like”, kento replied, smiling softly. 

“i missed being able to talk to you like this. maybe not this specific topic but… i really did”, you mumbled, chuckling. 

“me, too, sweetie. me, too.”

— 

kento ended up staying until evening again. you spent some time together, talking, especially about things you would have done differently if you had realized them before. you drank some alcohol-free cocktails he made, as you were dancing around your apartment with your most favorite songs playing. 

he watched you, finding you so adorable and endearing. it felt like the times before everything fell apart. where you were still happy. 

kento grabbed you by your waist and held you close by, spinning you around for a moment before he pulled you in close again, looking down at you as he smiled softly. he was so enchanted by your eyes, the way they sparkled and he just couldn’t hold himself back – he missed kissing those pretty lips of yours way too much to stop himself. 

“kento”, you sighed, oh, so gently against his lips, slowly melting into the kiss as it got more intense. “we…”

“shh”, he shushed you, before he kissed you again, fingers entangling in your hair as he pulled you in closer. “just… let me have this.”

you stopped resisting altogether as he finally kissed you like he wanted for so long, it felt like you were back in your early twenties, so needy and desperate for each other as he slowly moved you back against the wall. “kento”, you whined softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. “we really shouldn’t.” 

“i know… but why does it feel so right, huh?”, he asked, interrupting any further answers with another kiss, before he quickly moved to your neck, you let out a soft whine as you felt his teeth gently graze your skin. 

“i don’t know”, you whispered, moving your hands slowly to his hair as you played with the strands. “it does feel really fucking right, though.” 

kento chuckled at your brash wording, shaking his head. “i missed this so much, baby. can i…?”, he questioned then, pointing at your pajama top – you hadn’t changed from what he had put on you since waking up this morning because you had been lazy as hell. “i need you.” 

desperate kento had been a rare sight even when you were still married and happy. he was such a composed man, even when you were still young and naive. so, seeing him like this and directly asking you if he could take off your clothes was a surprise. a pleasant one at that. 

you didn’t know what would come out if you’d open your mouth so you just ended up nodding. he smiled softly, grabbing your top’s hem and pulling it off your body. his lips started wandering down your neck and collarbones before he slowly went down on his knees as he couldn’t bow down anymore. 

kento was leaving soft kisses over your stomach before he looked up at you again, silently asking if he could pull your shorts down. once you nodded, he pulled on the fabric, revealing your panties and he pulled those aside before he planted a gentle kiss on your clit. that simple action had you arch into him, you hadn’t seen him going down on you in months and it was incredibly hot. 

he licked over your wet folds and he slowly grew into it, lifting your leg over his shoulder for better access. you were just able to bury your fingers in his hair and try your best to keep your balance; his grip on your legs was more than enough however. kento was desperate to get a taste of you, having missed you so much in those past months you had been distant to him. 

“fuck, sweetheart”, he groaned as he stopped for a moment, leaving kisses over your thighs, edging you. “i should keep on edging you.” 

he let out a chuckle as you shook your head in protest. “oh, but i should, sweetie. remember when you stopped paying attention to me? i should punish you for that and keep you waiting just like you kept me waiting for you.” 

“not fair”, you whined when you felt his lips on your pussy again, tugging on his hair as pleasure rushed through your body once more, a soft whine leaving your lips as you melted into it again and this time, kento didn’t stop. he kept on sucking, licking and bringing you to the edge over and over but always careful to stop just before you could come on his tongue. 

“i’m sorry, fuck, kento, please!”, you cried out, whining and finally kento had mercy on you and had you shaking and trembling in his grip, tongue flicking over that sensitive nub over and over even after you were going through the last few aftershocks of your orgasm. 

once you had calmed down and noticed kento standing in front of you again, you realized what the hell you were doing right now. 

“kento, we shouldn’t. we really shouldn’t. right? i’m so confused right now. fuck”, you mumbled. it felt so good, so fucking right but was it really? 

“i know…”, he whispered gently, not judging you for your confliction. “i love you, y/n. more than i could possibly put into words. but if you’re unsure about this right now, maybe… it’s a better idea if i leave.”

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t even notice kento gently kissing you one last time, grabbing his coat and leaving your apartment silently, leaving you naked in your apartment. 

— 

“you did what?”, hana yelled at you over the phone. 

“listen– i don’t know what happened. and i stopped it as soon as i came to the realization but i guess it may have been a tiny bit late”, you replied as you laid down in your bed and cuddled up into the warm blanket. 

“a little bit is kind of undermining the whole situation, huh?”, hana replied with a sigh. “what about toji? have you talked to him ever since two nights ago?”

“yeah, he called asking how i was doing once but i was in such a bad mood because of the whole thing with kento i snapped at him, too, and he hasn’t attempted to contact me since. i was thinking of calling and apologizing again though. he didn’t deserve that kind of treatment after how nice he was to me.”

“yeah, maybe you’ll fuck him again, too”, hana said, tone slightly snappy and sarcastic. she tried to mask it but you heard it. 

“do you have a problem with me, hana?”, you asked. 

“you sleep with one guy, go back to your ex, almost sleep with him again and now you want to apologize to your one-night-stand for treating him bad once? fucking hell, y/n, get yourself together. you’re twenty-six, not eighteen”, hana snapped, anger brewing in her voice. 

“i just asked for your advice. but alright. i know what i need to do anyway. have a good night”, you replied with a cold tone in your voice before you hung up and turned around in bed, trying to fall asleep. 

—

“i’m sorry if i made things awkward that night when i suddenly appeared in front of you when you had somebody over”, nanami started with a gentle and apologetic smile. it was the first time you both saw each other in now over a month ever since the divorce was finalized. 

“ah, that’s… okay. it was a bit awkward to explain at first but i’m glad we’re able to meet one more time. especially after yesterday, i guess”, you asked. 

after you had your first sexual encounter in months with fushiguro toji, your ex-husband had suddenly appeared at your new house, asking for one meet-up to chat and talk everything out. that convo had been long overdue and nanami had found the perfect moment to come see you when you were clothed in toji’s stuff and recovering from all the sex you had that night. 

and then he ate you out after taking care of drunk-you. hana was right. you had to get a grip on your life again. this was no way to continue on. 

“well… i have been better”, he chuckled dryly, shaking his head. “i missed you.”

it felt so wrong to hear him say those words when he was the one asking for separation. it all just felt so wrong. you shouldn’t be here with him. you should be at home or in your office doing your work. you should be anywhere except here with him, especially not in your old home that you shared for five whole years. 

“kento, why are we here? why are you here?”, you wanted to skip the small talk and just get to the point. “it’s been over a month since we divorced. why are you here? and why are you still wearing your ring? why were you there last night, cleaning after my mess and taking care of me?”

you had noticed the golden band around his ring finger last night already. your brain however didn’t want to process that it was the ring you had put on his finger five years ago with the vow of never doing any mistake to make him remove it. 

“because i… i can’t get over you. fuck, i tried. i tried so many times, for so fucking long. i just can’t”, kento grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “i miss you and i need you. the divorce was the biggest mistake i’ve ever made. please. give us another chance?”

you immediately pulled your hand away again. 

“kento, we can’t. you asked for the divorce, i accepted because you were right. i would never be the wife you need. even during an entire month of not being in public, all i could think of was work and the newest headlines i could create. please. don’t make this harder on yourself than it has to be, sweetie”, you begged, grabbing his hand once more but this time to remove the ring from his finger and place it in the middle of the table. 

“this ended the night you told me you were tired. we ended the night you told me you wanted a divorce”, you continued. “don’t do this to yourself. listen, i love you. i’ve always loved you, it has always been you and nobody else. if this is your way of figuring out if i ever cheated on you or something, no. i have never been unloyal to you, sweetie. i swear. you were and always will be my one true love. but it’s time for us both to move on, hm?”

tears were rolling down your cheeks but you ignored them, letting go of his hand for the last time. “please, kento. i don’t care if you want to hurt me in any way but please. don’t hurt yourself. you don’t deserve all that heartbreak. and i’m sorry that i was the one who ended up causing you to hurt this way.” 

—

once you were home, there was toji sitting on the ground in your entrance, waiting for you to come home. 

“what are you doing here?”, you asked him as he got up, smiling at you. 

“i had to see you. i didn’t like how we ended yesterday’s conversation. i just… needed to make sure you were really okay”, he replied, sighing. he followed you inside as you unlocked your front door and sat down on the couch. “come here.”

he had clearly noticed you just had gone through something emotional – your eyes were reddened from crying and you broke down as you wrapped your arms around his neck and you were seated on his lap. tears were rolling down your eyes again as you explained what had happened earlier that day with kento and how you couldn’t even confide in hana anymore because she was tired of your indecisiveness. 

you were, too. 

“so… he was here, and he ate you out, huh?”, he mumbled to himself, unexplainable jealousy overpowering every nerve in his body and he acted without being able to think rationally. 

“yeah? is that the only thing you got from my sob story?”, you shook your head, rolling your eyes. 

“of course not. that part just stuck out to me because… considering i was quite literally fucking your brain’s out two nights ago. wasn’t me enough, sweetheart?”, he asked with a dark chuckle. 

“are you acting you’re jealous right now? because i can’t really deal with this right now, toji. we’re not together, we went on one single date and fucked once. you don’t get to play the jealousy card”, you got defensive quite quickly and he lifted his hands to pull a ‘i’m kidding’ card, giggling. 

“i’m just playing with you, sweetcheeks. of course, i’m aware of that. but let me just play around a little with you, it’s fun to see you so wild and frustrated”, he laughed. “let me kiss those pretty lips as an apology, hm? how does that sound?”

you couldn’t help but remember the way he had kissed you two nights prior, with so much passion and need. would he kiss like that again? would there more happening? you were painfully aware of what a mistake this would be again, but there was something so compelling about this man that you couldn’t simply refuse. 

you just couldn‘t stop thinking about it. and how good of a distraction this would be.

he held your chin between his thumb and index finger, kissing you oh, so gently, surprising you fully. 

“missed those pretty lips of yours”, he mumbled, softly pulling on your lips with his thumb before he kissed you again. “they were so mean to me yesterday and now you’re just sitting so prettily on my lap, just waiting for me to kiss you again.”

“mhm”, you agreed lazily, humming softly. 

the next kiss was a repetition of two nights ago – rough, needy and desperate as you fiddled with his shirt and pulled the fabric off his skin, feeling up his gorgeous, muscular body as you enjoyed the feeling of him holding you in his grasp. 

“toji, god, i shouldn’t but this… i need you, need you to distract me, huh?”, you whispered, kissing all over his cheek, jaw, neck and down his collarbone as you slowly slid off his lap and pulled down his joggers, quickly had your lips around his tip. you did all this so fast he hadn’t even time to process what was happening. 

the groan he let out was loud, he was immediately melting into it as his cock got harder with each little suck, his eyes fluttering shut as his hips jerked into your mouth. 

“come on, baby, you can take it, huh? take me deeper, all the way down your throat, baby”, he amped you up, you started going really down on him, gagging as his tip hit the back of your throat. you hadn’t even taken in all of him so you wrapped your hand around the base as you jerked him off with each move up and down. 

“fuck, such a good girl for me, huh? taking me so fucking good, baby, you’re so good to me”, he groaned, grabbing the back of your head as he guided your head down, watching the saliva dripping down your chin and he just smiled. 

his hips jerked up as he was slowly reaching the edge, giving you a final warning before he came deep down your throat, waiting for you to swallow it. 

“such a good girl for me, aren’t you, baby? did so well for me”, he praised you, your cheeks heating up as you wiped off the saliva from your mouth. you grew a little shy as you didn’t reply, you slowly removed your panties from under your dress and got back up as you sat down on his lap again and aligning his leaking tip with your wet entrance, before he could protest and stop you from riding him without any sort of prep, you quickly sank down on his cock – quite easily, too, to his surprise. 

“ah, fuck, such a good pussy”, he grunted, hands around your hips as he set a fast and rough pace of him slamming you down on his cock. 

“t-toji!”, you cried out, trying to hold onto him as best as possible as he fucked you, “so, so good, don’t stop.”

“feeling good, sweetheart? did he make you feel this good, too? did you let him fuck you?”, he grunted with each thrust, he hated how childish he was acting but the way you squeezed around him was just too much for him, his brain was clouded and he couldn’t think straight. 

“n-no!”, you whimpered, shaking your head. 

“good. because you know what?”, he asked, tone sharp. 

you couldn’t even reply, everything slowly went blurry as you neared your first orgasm. 

“this pretty pussy’s all mine, baby. just mine”, he hissed before he slammed your hips down particularly rough, making you cry out as you came around him, leaving a creamy ring around his base as he didn’t stop and proceeded overstimulating your body. 

“gonna cum in your sweet pussy, mark you all mine. you’d like that, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”, he groaned, he was fucking you fast and rough, a shimmer of sweat was already covering his body and the overstimulation of his cock with the blowjob from earlier had him keep you down connected to his cock for a moment as he spilled his cum deep inside. 

“fuck, taking all of this so good, taking all of me so fucking good, sweetheart”, he groaned, pulling out as he watched his cum slowly drip out. 

“so, how about i take you to your bedroom and make you remember how good i fuck you, hm?”

—

once more, you were underneath him, this time fully naked as toji climbed on top of you and had his cock buried deep inside of you with a swift motion, your arms were wrapped around his broad shoulders as he breathed out and buried his head against your neck. 

“fuck, you feel so good, sweetheart. can’t get enough of your pretty pussy”, he grunted as he slowly started building a rhythmic pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin was like music to your ears and he watched your every reaction. 

your eyes rolled back as pleasure overtook every part of your body, back arching against him as he wrapped his one arm around your waist to have a better grip on your body and the other arm sneaked up next to yours and entangled your hands with each other. 

“toji, fuck, please, fuck me”, you begged, “need it harder.”

“harder? do you think you can handle that, baby?”, he mocked you, laughing, but he complied, his pace growing faster and more erratic as his overstimulated body was close to another release yet again. 

“want me to bury my cum inside your pussy again, baby? mark you fully as mine as i make a mess of you and your pretty cunt?”, he groaned. you could only nod in response. 

you lost count of how many times toji fucked you that night. 

no matter how many breaks you took, how many times he stopped for a moment to catch his breath before proceeding, he was relentless, desperate for more, more and more. 

toji had grown fully addicted to your taste and the way you felt around him, the way you made him feel. 

“gonna cum again, sweetie, fuck, you’re taking me so well, doing so fucking good for me, princess”, he praised you once more, before his body started trembling again and you felt his cock twitch inside of you, filling you up again. 

“i-i can-can’t anymore”, you whimpered, body limp and exhausted, desperate of a break. 

“you can, baby. you can, you took more than this two nights ago, i know you can”, toji protested, but he pulled out nevertheless and jerked off, splatters of his cum decorating your stomach and chest. 

“you’re so gorgeous, such a beautiful mess for me, baby”, he mumbled, laying down next to you as he pulled you in close. “and all mine to fuck.” 

“not yours.” 

you let out a cry as you felt his hand sneak around your body and his fingers play with your clit, slowly rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves as you came once more, crying out as everything was blurry. 

“all. mine”, he repeated before he planted a soft kiss on your cheek, turning you onto your back again before he started with his sweet torture once again, just not with his cock but his fingers, either playing with your clit or easing a finger inside easily. 

“shh, shhh, such a good girl for me, taking everything i give you so well, baby. you deserve the world, deserve to feel happy and taken care of, don’t you?”, he whispered, talking sweet nothings to you as he made you forget about everything and anything happening to you in the past two days, except for him and him alone. 

because after all, nothing else mattered except for him and you.

i wasn‘t honestly sure how to end this so i decided on an open ending for this one. i‘ll leave it up to your imagination if toji and y/n ended up getting together again. let me know what you think of this because this was the longest thing i’ve written in years and i’m actually really proud of it.

since you‘re here, please watch these. educational videos on tiktok about 🍉

thank u for inspiring me to do this @spideyyeet i should have done this a long time ago.

link (trigger warning)

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[farfromstrange]

Lizzi's Kinktober 2023

Day 3: Cockwarming

October 18th, 2023

Main Masterlist | Kinktober Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader (use of "good girl")

Summary: Matt is always working, but you need him. So, he gives you what you want. Sort of. But not really.

Warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (18+ MINORS DNI), cockwarming, praise, use of "good girl", teasing, slight Dom!Matt, not proofread (I sense a theme here)

Word Count: ~970

A/n: This is a drabble again, and I am so sorry for not posting it yesterday. I finished it and then I fell asleep. Oops. I caught a cold and I am so tired, so I hope this can live up to expectations once again.

Matt’s working. 

He’s always working. Either on a case or out on the streets as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. The protector. There are only a handful of moments when you have him all to yourself, and sometimes you have to beg for it and hope he caves. 

Just like tonight. 

He’s been working again. He’s been working ever since he came home. He told you he would have to go out at some point that night, possibly after you’ve gone to bed. Maybe he’ll cuddle you, but that is never certain. You can hope, you can pray, but you can never be a hundred percent certain that he will be there.

But you love him. 

You don’t care that he is gone a lot because when he isn’t, he makes up for the time he missed. He treats you like you are an angel on earth. That’s what he calls you often enough.

Angel. Sweetheart. Divine. Heavenly. He loves you more than you’ve ever been loved. He would go to the ends of the earth with you. But you can’t make him stop something that sustains him. You understand. You really do.

He’s doing something to help people, and if you have to spend a night or two alone, so be it. Not everyone could do what he does, and that’s as much a blessing as it is a curse. He has to do it or he will lose himself. Maybe it’s an addiction, maybe it’s unhealthy, but you love him and your love has survived much worse than that.

Still, there are times where your needs become a little too hard to ignore, and most of the time, they take over.

Sometimes, the little voice in your head gets stronger than your common sense, and you become needy. You become so needy, Matt can’t tell you no because deep down, he loves it when you get needy.

It’s the easiest way to distract him, being needy. It’s the easiest way to get him to pay attention to you, yet at the same time, it makes him just want to take care of you in ways he too often neglects. 

Matt has been sitting at the dining table, typing away on his laptop as he listens to witness testimonies on his latest case for what feels like an eternity.

As the time dragged on, you eventually started shifting on the couch, watching him, trying to get his attention. When that didn’t work, you started sighing. It took about thirty minutes until his low voice rang out, “Come here.”

And that is how you ended up here. Part of you regrets it now that you have been teasing him so relentlessly, but you couldn’t stop. You had to do it. This is your compulsion.

His hard cock is nestled deep within your slick folds as he’s got you seated on his lap, chest to chest. He’s so deep inside of you, you can feel him in your very soul.

Your walls are so tight around his girth, you can feel his veins pulsating every time you try to shift your position. You’re clinging onto him for dear life, your head on his shoulder, and he just types. He types away on his laptop as if he isn’t buried completely inside of your wet cunt. The clicking sound is slowly starting to drive you crazy. It’s his moans you want, the sound of skin slapping against skin, not whatever this is.  

It’s torture, to say the least.

“If you’re so needy, you can keep me company while I finish this report,” he said to you after he called you over to him. 

You thought nothing of it until he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer. 

“You can keep my cock nice and warm for me until I’m done, and then I’ll fuck you, baby. I promise. I just have to do a little more work.”

You shouldn’t have pushed him, but God, you love what he feels like inside of you. 

You shift again. His left hand flies to your hip, stopping you. “Don’t move,” he says. “I’m not done yet.”

Your moan is muffled through his dress shirt. “Please, Matthew,” you whine. 

“No.”

Oh, he’s cruel. He’s so, so cruel. 

He knows exactly what he’s doing, too. His rough hands alternating between gently resting on your thighs, stroking up and down, and his nose burying in your hair to breathe in your scent—and every time your clit bumps against his pelvis, you can’t help but moan and seek more friction. But when you do, when you move to seek friction, he stops you time and time again because, “I’m not done yet.”

When will he be done? 

Every time he breathes, every time he talks, his cock moves just a little deeper. He presses against that sweet spot inside of you entirely unintentional, but he knows instantly what effect it has on you.

At this point, you’re sure he’s teasing you. He’s doing this on purpose. Is he even working? You’re sure he can’t be. 

“So beautiful,” he whispers into your hair. “And so good for me. I’m almost done.”

“You’ve said that before,” your voice is hoarse, breathless, on the edge of breaking. 

Matt only chuckles, tilting your head back to give you the softest of kisses. Suddenly, you’re not so mad anymore. The pleasure that simple kiss sends straight to your already dripping cunt, coating his cock in even more wetness and allowing him more leeway as he shifts in his seat now, forcing you closer together—it is inhuman. You moan into his mouth, and the kiss turns heated. 

You are so needy. Maybe he is getting desperate too. He’s kissing you back a bit more forcefully, and you’re sure he’s about to lose it. But then he stops, pulls back, and focuses back on the Braille on his keyboard.

“Be good,” he tells you. 

You try. You really are trying, but it seems nearly impossible. You still bury your face back in the crook of his neck, and you try to breathe. 

The rubberband in the pit of your stomach tightens with every passing second, threatening to snap. Your nerves are on fire. Your muscles are sore. You can feel yourself tensing up, trying not to move, trying not to make a sound…The relief is too far away, still.

“That’s it. Good girl.”

You’re done for. Your teeth sink into his shoulder, and the lewdest moan escapes your lips. 

“You like that?” Matt asks. “Being called a good girl? My good girl? Is that it?”

He shifts again. It’s better than nothing. It soothes the ache in your core, but as soon as he stops, it multiplies. 

“Yes,” you breathe. 

“Then be good just a little longer for me, sweetheart, and I’ll give you exactly what you need.”

You’re going to hold him to that. 

Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @ravenclaw617 @mattkinsella @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch

Also tagging: @blackshadowswriter @1988-fiend

[augustghosts]

The Best Thank you

Tommy Miller x fem!reader

On that night in 2003, Tommy calls his girlfriend instead of Joel. 

(let's pretend the literal apocalypse doesn’t happen for this one, ok?) 

 I started writing this like a week ago before ep 6 and after seeing ep 6 I haven't been able to stop thinking about tommy fucking miller. Anyways, this ends kind of abruptly because i’m bad at endings lol. And this is the worst title ever, I couldn't think of one. Hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: 18+ so minors dni pls, not proofread so lmk if u spot any mistakes lmao. Lots of pet names. Established relationship, ppl in love n all that. Oral (f receiving), unprotected sex. Tommy defo whimpers btw.

Word count: 3.1k

“Shit!” She almost rolled her eyes at herself as she did the classic scramble around the bed in the dark for her phone. After a few seconds she grasps it, her eyes squinting as she looks over a number she doesn’t recognise. She considers not answering, it is midnight. But calls this late are usually important, right? Fuck it. 

“Hello?” She’s hesitant, but the sigh she lets out makes it sound like she’s annoyed. Tommy is nervous, he’s actually fucking nervous. After no answer from Joel, he didn’t know what else to do. He was well and truly fucked. He's leaning against a cold wall, the payphone is heavy in his hand - not as heavy as the stare the officer who’s watching him is giving him. He looks down at his boots instead and squeezes his eyes shut before replying. The sound of her voice immediately helped his situation. 

“Hey, honey!” He sounds a little too cheery, he honestly cringes at himself. He can’t tell if its the pure fucking anxiety he’s feeling because of this phone call or the alcohol. 

“Tommy? What’s wrong?” She sussed him out immediately, the sounds of his voice initially putting her at ease before she sensed the edge in it. God, he thinks, she’s so damn smart. And she knows him so well. He catches himself smiling at the just the thought of her, until he remembers where the fuck he is. 

“Yeah. I’m, uh - I'm okay.” Did he just stutter? This is one of those times he wished she didn’t have this kind of effect on him. 

“Okay?” She beckons him to continue, leaning over to her nightstand to flick the light on. Her room is illuminated revealing a pair of Tommy’s shoes by her door and some clothes he’d left there still thrown over the back of her chair. 

“Look, I'm - um.” Fuck, Tommy. Just say it. “I’m in jail.”

There’s a pause on the other end, a pause that’s a little too long and makes him think she’d hung up. He takes the phone away from his ear to glance at it, as if that would help.  Her voice is small when it finally comes through. “What?” 

“Did you actually not hear me or do you just want me to say it again?” He tries to joke. 

“Say it again.” Her voice is stern, it immediately shuts him down. 

“I’m in jail.” He sighs. 

There’s another pause before she asks: “Are you okay?”

His heart squeezes in his chest. He had expected a million sighs, a telling off or maybe even a dial tone ringing in his ear telling him she’d hung up on him. But no, of course she’s not like that. He knows that - she’s better than anyone he’d ever met. Of course his beautiful girl with her beautiful heart, who had just been woken up at midnight, was going to ask him if he was okay. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” His voice is uncharacteristically small. 

“What happened?” 

“I don’t know. It's- you know I was at the bar and one of my buddies got into a fight and I was just helping him out. I think maybe I knocked the guy out, I don't know.” He does know. He did knock the guy out and honestly, he was pretty proud of it. But he doesn’t want to tell her that. 

“Oh, okay.” Honestly, she’s confused. Not sure why he was calling her, didn’t he have a brother? 

“Anyway, look baby, I'm sorry but I need you to help me out.” 

“How?” She asks. She’s sitting up now, and suddenly she doesn’t feel tired anymore. 

He sighs again, he really doesn’t want to be doing this. “Darlin’, I really am sorry but I need you to bail me out.” 

She’s silent again for a second, “Now?” 

“Yeah, it’s friday. If I don't get out tonight I'll be here all weekend.” He’s speaking faster now, he sounds like he’s panicking. Shit, is she really gonna do this? Of course she is. She sighs as she stands up. Tommy hears it and it makes his chest squeeze again, guilt flooding him as he speaks. “Please. I’m sorry.” 

“Which jail?” She asks - he tells her. A feeling of relief almost overtakes the guilt as he hears her shuffling around on the other end. 

“Okay.” She says, slipping her shoes on. “I’ll be there soon.” 

“Shit, thank you sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.” He promises. She doesn’t respond - the line goes dead. Honestly, he feels like he’s getting mixed signals. Was she mad? Was she upset? He couldn’t tell. Fuck Joel for not answering.

Half an hour later she’s pulling up in front of the station. Her heart is beating faster than ever, maybe she should have left him here over the weekend. Taught him a damn lesson. She knows she doesn’t mean that, but she seriously considers it as she gets out of her car. The place is weirdly empty for a Friday night, a few people sitting on chairs in front of the desk. Only two people sitting behind said desk, she had expected it to be a lot crazier. Maybe the crazy is happening where Tommy is, somewhere in the back. In just a few minutes after a conversation at the desk Tommy is walking towards her. He looks more nervous than she’s ever seen him. His usual cocky and confident demeanor, which she loves so much, has been replaced by guilt and embarrassment. She stands with her arms crossed as she waits, watching as he’s handed back his phone and wallet. 

“Hey.” He says as he turns to her, he almost wishes he could go back inside. 

“Hi.” She replies, she turns and leaves. He follows, already going through an apology speech in his head. When they get outside she stops by her car, turning to face him. 

“Baby, look, I'm sorry. I-” He starts his speech but is cut off by her soft hands grasping his face. Her hands are warm on his cheeks and he brings his own hand up to rest on top of hers. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks. He nods, his gorgeous brown eyes wide as he anticipates what she’s going to do next. She surprises him by leaning up to kiss him, pulling his head down to meet her lips. He sighs as she kisses him softly, his hands wrap around her middle - he pulls her as close as he can. He had been contemplating tonight being the end of this, all his worries that he had disappointed her melting away as he felt her smile against his lips. 

“You’re an idiot.” She mumbled against his skin as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. He mirrored the grin on her face as he pulled away from her, she was still holding his face lovingly. 

“I know.” He smirked. Shit, even after all this - a night of drinking, an apparent bar fight and a few hours in jail, he still looked gorgeous. 

“So, am I taking you home or?” She trailed off, stepping away from him and rounding her car to the drivers side. 

“Only if you’re coming with me.” 

“We’ll go to mine then. I have work in the morning.” She says, and that guilty feeling almost returns, but when he sees the smirk on her face, he mirrors it with the same amount of enthusiasm. 

When they enter her apartment, Tommy suddenly isn’t as nervous anymore. Alcohol still running through his veins and excited over the thought of getting to spend the night with his girl instead of in a fucking cell. She’s slipping her shoes off and placing her keys down on the shelf beside the door when he approaches her from behind, wrapping his arms around her - chin on her shoulder. 

“You’re my goddamn hero.” He jokes, mumbling the words against her skin as he nuzzled into her neck.

“Sounds like you were the hero tonight.” She whispers back, placing her hands over his and leaning back into him. He’s pressing kisses along her neck as he responds. 

“Yeah, and i got fuckin’ arrested for it.” 

She laughs loudly, turning in his arms to kiss him again. More passionately and messily than in front of the police station. His hands grip her hips tighter, one traveling down to knead at her ass. Her own hands push his button up off of his shoulders, leaving him in just his white shirt. God, he looked good today. She can feel his cock through the front of his jeans as his hand on her ass pulls her forwards into him.

“I gotta admit,” She pulls away from him, his mouth tries to follow hers but she grasps his hand, leading him to her room. “It is kinda sexy, Thinking about you winning a fight.” 

She decides that maybe he deserves a bit of a show after the night he’s had. He’s standing in the doorway watching her, his trademark smirk plastered onto his face as she slowly takes her shirt off - Tommy’s shirt, actually. Already braless from being woken up at midnight, the jacket she had thrown on top of his shirt has already been abandoned at the door. He couldn’t lie about noticing her nipples through her shirt as she’d taken the coat off earlier. He makes a show of crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame, the smirk now turned into a grin. One that she's mirroring as she unbuttons her jeans and slowly slides them down her legs. His eyes follow, once they trail over her hips and legs he decides he can’t take it anymore. Having her standing in front of him in nothing but panties is not how he thought this night was going to end. 

“Fuck, baby.” His voice is noticeably deeper now as he comes to her, gripping her hips so she's against him. Her bare chest pressed against his clothed one. “I’m gonna give you the best thank you you’ve ever had.” 

And with that, he crouches down to haul her up into his arms - her legs wrapping around his waist as she laughs above him. He presses a quick kiss to her lips before dropping her down onto the bed. It’s his turn to put on a show now as he rids himself of his own shirt. He kneels in front of her and presses a kiss to her ankle before grabbing them both and using them to haul her towards the end of the bed. His mouth is inches from her pussy and she sighs as she feels him pressing kisses up her legs. He’s always been a tease, he lives for the sounds she makes. He loves to see her squirm. And squirm she does as he begins to slowly suck and bite the skin on her thighs. 

“Tommy.” She sighs his name and tugs on his hair and he swears his cock twitches in his jeans. “Please touch me.” Fuck, the effect she has on him is insane. He wants nothing more than to rip the denim off of his legs and fuck her into the matress, but he knows what she needs. And he will always give it to her. He presses one last kiss to her stomach before sliding her panties down her legs and throwing them behind him. 

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He whispers, just inches away from where she needs him. He used his thumbs to part her lips, a groan leaving his lips as he leaned in and dragged his warm tongue down the length of her. She sighed above him, her hands still holding onto his hair. He focuses on her clit, his tongue drawing tight circles over the nub. After a couple of strokes he closed his mouth around it, sucking gently. 

“Shit, Tommy.” One of her legs lifted around his shoulder, her heel pushing him further towards her. He smiled against her, he loved pleasing her. She always thought about how lucky she had gotten with Tommy.  A man who knows what he’s doing, and loves to do it. After playing with her clit for as long as she could take he pulled away. A beautiful smile on his face as he watched her squirm, her hands grasping his shoulders trying to push him back down. 

“You wanna come for me, gorgeous?” He asked, breathless. 

“Please.” She nods enthusiastically, just as breathless as him. “Please make me come!”

“Whatever you want princess.” He smirks, bringing his mouth back down to her pussy. His lips closed around her clit once more. He brings a hand up underneath his mouth, a single finger tracing her entrance before pushing inside. He moans against her when he feels how wet she is, adding another finger. She’s whining above him, moaning his name and pulling on his hair and he thinks about how he could definitely come like this. Shit, he has before. He fucks her with his fingers exactly the way he knows she likes, his tongue continuing to dance on her clit until she closes her thighs around his head. 

“Oh fuck, Tommy!” She moans loudly, neither of them have time to think about her neighbors right now. “I’m gonna come.” 

He continues what he’s doing as she grips harder on his hair, her legs closing tightly around his shoulders as she arches her back as she comes. He watches her face, she always looks so gorgeous like this. He fucking loves it. He fucking loves her. He keeps going until she's giggling breathlessly and pushing him away. He sits up, kneeling at the bottom of the bed between her legs, pressing one last kiss to her thigh before standing up and ridding himself of his jeans. She whimpers when she sees just how hard he is. He looks gorgeous as he stands above her, his cock flushed and leaking. He climbs on top of her to kiss her messily, her wetness still around his mouth as he pushes his tongue inside of hers. 

“How do you want me?” She whispers against his lips. 

“Fuck, turn around sweetheart.” He’s grinning at her as she follows his instructions. Turning around onto her stomach and leaning on her elbows. He takes a hold of her hips, pulling her ass up so he can get a view of her dripping pussy. “God I can't wait to fill you up, you ready for me?” 

“I’m always ready for you.” She smiles at him over her shoulder. He groans at her words, realizing he cant wait any longer, he takes a hold of his throbbing cock and lines himself up to her glistening hole. They both moan as he pushes in, her warm walls welcoming him as they squeeze him in. 

“So fuckin’ tight.” He whimpers as he begins to set a pace. “God, i fuckin’ love your pussy.” 

She feels like his words make her more wet, if that's even possible. 

“I love your cock, Tommy.” She moans as he fucks her slowly, holding himself back. He wants to enjoy her, but her heavenly cunt makes it so difficult. “Please, make me feel good.” 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I'm gonna.” He says through gritted teeth. He always does, but she loves to tease him. And she knows how much he loves to hear her beg for him. He continues to fuck her like this, picking up his pace eventually when she begins to whine for him to go faster. She breathes his name as his cock begins hitting just the right spot, her hands tightening around the bedsheets - needing something to hold on to. Her chest pressed up against the bedsheets, her body being thrust forward as Tommy fucks into her, adds deliciously to the stimulation. He knows her so well, he can feel when she's getting close. Her silky walls tighten around him, her hands clenching and unclenching as her back arches more. Her whines of his name becoming higher in pitch. He’s close too, so with a smack to her ass that makes her yelp he pulls out. She doesn’t have time to process as he turns her over climbing over her again to kiss her. She moans against his mouth, his soft lips and tongue mixing with her own. Her legs wrap around his body as he pushes into her again. Immediately setting a bruising pace, both of them too close to care. 

“You gonna come for me baby? Yeah?” He eggs her on as she nods, desperately. “Come on baby come around my cock. Let me feel it.” 

The sight of her reaching down to play with her clit as she comes undone beneath him is enough to do it for him. 

“Where do you want it?” He hisses. He knows the answer, but he always asks anyway. 

“Come inside me Tommy. I wanna feel you.” He practically whimpers her name as he empties inside of her. She pulls his face down towards her again, wanting to hold him close. He bites into her shoulder as she whimpers in his ear, still coming down from her own high. Both of them enjoying the feeling of him filling her pussy up. 

“Holy shit.” She murmurs. A drowsy smile on her face as she plays with his hair until he eventually lifts his head from her shoulder. He laughs before pressing a kiss to her cheek. He sits up, pulling out of her and biting the inside of his cheek as he watches his come drip out of her. 

“I love you.” She says, reaching for him again. 

“I love you more.” He smiles as she pulls him down for a kiss. “You gotta sleep, not long until you need to get up for work.” 

“Yeah,” She agrees, still trying out her breath. She stands up to make her way to the bathroom and stops at the door to say: “A long night of being a hero.” She hears him laugh from the bed as she shuts the bathroom door, her legs still slightly wobbly and tingling. He definitely kept his promise, the best damn thank you she’d ever had. 

[keysmashingfantasies]

Hi hi. I’m not sure if you do request like this and this isn’t detailed or anything so I get if you don’t want to but like could I request something smut chishiya? Maybe him and reader are friends and get into an argument about their feelings for each other and they end up having really romantic love making and confess to each other or something. Probably makes like zero sense sorry.

i do requests like this, yes! just bear with me because i am not the most skilled smut writer but i am absolutely open to writing it, ask away! and it makes perfect sense, don't worry! also, i assumed you wanted fem!bodied reader but since you didn't specify, i didn't. so hopefully i think everyone can read. this is so fucking long i'm sorry. was it good? i don't think so, no. is it the best i could do? absolutely. enjoy!

ok, content warning/this fic contains: sexy times, non descriptive penetrative sex as a way to keep this as inclusive as possible, no body descriptions for reader, unprotected sex (not good! don't do this!), chishiya being vulnerable (or, as the kids call it, a bit subby), a smidge of angst at the beginning, probably kind of shitty aftercare bc i don't know how and i'm going off of vibes. absolutely not proofread so most likely grammar mistakes.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST OR I'LL CALL YOUR MOM!!!

"What do you mean? I'm being careless by talking to people?", you exclaimed. Chishiya was being more and more unreasonable lately. You knew he thought you were gullible and naive, and you suspected that's why he decided to get closer to you; who'd suspect you, after all? You weren't all that wide eyed ingenue, you just believed that people could still be good in this world. Kuina shared the same belief, and he wasn't nagging on her like he did with you.

"Of course you can! But not so much to make yourself vulnerable to threats! What are you doing, cozying up to someone you don't even know during a game?", his tone raised the slightest bit, what was already a lot for Chishiya. He may have been acting unreasonably but he knew what he was saying had reason. Chishiya had feelings for you, and once he got to know you the desire to protect you only grew. He knew that you were selfless to the point of bordering stupidity, and would sacrifice yourself for someone. What made Chishiya's heart clench even more is that you'd sacrifice for him given the chance. Without even thinking. The flame of his anger was fanned at the thought that someone may have used your good will to trick you into dying in their place if he wasn't around.

"I wasn't cozying up! I was talking to a teammate! On a game of clubs! You know, one of those we depend on other people to live?", you said, exasperated. You took a calming breath and sighed. "You know what, think what you want of me. I'm tired, I don't want to fight", you started to pace around, something you often did to release anxious energy after a game.

"We're not fighting. We're having a conversation", Chishiya deadpanned, raising his eyebrows when you turned to look at him.

"A conversation of you laying it thick the implication that I'm some dumb thing with stars in my eyes? That I can let anyone trick me into sacrifice?", you said, and his eyes darted across the room, avoiding your eyes. Red-handed. "Chishiya, listen to me", you sat besides him, taking his hand in yours. "I may still be a bit too hopeful of people sometimes. Everyone copes in their own way, right?", you earned yourself a dry chuckle. "But I am hopeful because of what I've seen. Yeah, there's death and sadness and betrayal but there's good things. Friendship and love. For every bad person there's a few good ones, I truly believe that. And don't worry about me. You and Kuina drilled in my brain to be street smart", you smiled. Now it was your turn to avoid his eyes. "The only person in this entire world that can trick me is you, Chishiya. I trust you wholeheartedly", you whispered, clenching his hand in yours tight but still refusing to turn your warm face towards his. He was your lifeline but made you mortified at the same time.

"I don't think you're dumb. I'm sorry if I came across that way. I wouldn't have made an ally out of you if I didn't trust your abilities. And... I wouldn't made a friend out of you if I thought you're stupid. I just didn't want to lose you, that's all", he said. "I trust you too. Wholeheartedly", he said, giving you one of his Monalisa smiles. Sutil enough he may not even be smiling at all.

"Not in the way I trust you. Not by far", you said, finally managing to gather yourself enough to look at him. You may die at any point, Chishiya was kind enough to remind you. So what if he didn't love you back? You had the right to say it and he had the right to know. Even if he scolded you for wearing your heart on your sleeve. Even if he betrayed you.

"Why do you say that?", he asked, frowning. Did you know believe him? After all this time, he thought he was opening up to you. That you saw something more inside of him, the optimism, the sliver of hope he kept hidden for emergencies and you.

"Because I love you. And I trust you. Blindly", you said after being in silence for a while, and the atmosphere of the room shifted. You could feel the hairs in your body standing in attention, the room felt colder, the air felt heavy and sticky when you breathed in and you thought that if you took a deep breath like you've been dying to, you'd choke. You could hear a pin drop. And Chishiya was still as a statue.

It happened in a blink of an eye. Chishiya was tense, his lips pressed against yours and shoulders almost up to his ears, like someone had pushed him into you and he was still trying to process it. You had your eyes wide open, looking around the room, hands up like someone was pointing a gun at you, not knowing where to place them. For a few seconds it was like this, until something clicked. Chishiya kissed you. Chishiya was kissing you. You parted for a second before looking into each other's eyes, bewildered like you had been possessed. And then you kissed him.

This was much more like an actual kiss. It was soft, slow, steady. You cupped his face between your hands and got up on your knees to get closer to him, his hands snaking their way up to your waist. Soon enough, you had to breathe, breaking apart just enough for your mouths to disconnect but staying close. Neither of you thought you could let each other go after what you knew it was about to transpire.

"Chishiya... I...", you were breathless, you brain had turned to mush and you couldn't speak, and Chishiya took the opportunity to kiss you yet again.

You could've been kissing for ages. The games might've been over, everyone dead, the land completely taken over by vegetation at this point. But you were still kissing Chishiya, slow and deep, melting and molding into his arms, straddling his lap. Not letting your hands leave him not for a second, as he did with you. Your hands were on his face, his on your waist. His hands moved up your back, yours into his hair. Your hands on his chest, his in yours.

The kisses started growing hot and sloppy. You needed each other bad. So when Chishiya pulled apart to catch his breath and you couldn't stay away from him, you started to kiss down his neck, hands pulling off his hoodie off like it was offending you, desperately mouthing at the parts of his collarbones and chest not covered by his shirt. And the sounds were driving you insane. The little sighs and moans made you want to beg him to fuck you already but you decided to contain yourself. You wanted him to feel appreciated. Loved.

"Ah... That's good", he whispered, and when you parted from his neck to see his head thrown back, his mouth slightly opened, eyes half lidded like he was intoxicated, you couldn't help but to slip your tongue into his mouth yet again, shifting your hips against his slightly, making you both moan in each other's mouths. "Can I undress you?", he asked between pecks on your lips, and you nodded so hard you made yourself dizzy. "No, no. I need to hear you say it", he said, stopping to look at you looking at him. How you were still bashful at a situation like this he couldn't figure out for the life of him, but he gave you a low chuckle when you hid your face in his neck, only to shiver after feeling your teeth pressed against his pulse point. If the room wasn't so quiet he wouldn't be able to hear the small "Please, Chishiya, undress me" that followed.

His hands were fast as they were precise and in no time you were fully naked in his lap, kissing him like your life depended on it. Your hands made your way down his chest, getting to the hem and making their way up again, now under the fabric, lifting it up and off of his torso, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over his head.

You proceeded to kiss every newly discovered inch of his warm skin. From his fingertips, up his arms, his shoulders, nipping and sucking and licking down his chest, over his sensitive nipples, down his stomach and the soft trail of hair that dissapeared under the waistband of his pants.

"Y/N...", he sighed, hand coming up under your chin to pull you off of obsessively mouthing him over his pants. "Y/N...", he sighed yet again when you came up, making eye contact with him and giving him a peck on the lips.

"Can I finish undressing you, Chishiya? Please?", you were desperate, and Chishiya hissed at the thought of what was to come. How could he hold back when you were so sweet, so beautiful, so eager, looking at him like he painted the sky midnight blue and hung the moon and stars up there?

"Yes. Yes, please", he breathed. You touched your forehead to his, fiddling with the ties of his loose pants. Meanwhile, he pressed two of his fingers to your lips, slowly but surely shoving them inside your warm and wet mouth. As you sucked them, you started to pull his pants and underwear down his slim hips, and he lifted his hips to aid you.

Soon enough, you were both naked, you straddling his thighs. There was nothing in between you anymore. He took his fingers off of your mouth as you looked down to take him in, all the parts hidden that you'd been fantasizing about. His chest with a bit of hair, now covered in red splotches from your sucking, his stomach and happy trail covered in love bites, his pale hairy legs, his cock that now slapped against his stomach, not too long but just enough to make your mouth water, with a leaking pink tip, girthy and veiny, nestled in his pubes, his balls hanging low, filled with cum.

"Chishiya, you're so beautiful", you moaned in pure agony. His body, the way he was looking up at you so reverently; he looked like an angel. He wasted no time in using his fingers lubed by your spit to start prepping you, carefully but firmly shoving them inside of you, finger fucking you in efforts to find that sweet spot inside of you.

"You're beautiful too. Ah, that's it, take my fingers inside you", he moaned as you started to move your hips in tandem with his hand. You slowly started to play with his balls, earning yourself a low groan.

"Chishiya. Chishiya", you moaned, convulsing when he managed to graze what he was looking for. "I'm going to- ah! Kiss me, please", he placed his hand in the back of your neck and pulled you to him, his tongue messily meeting yours while you mewled into his mouth and you shivered from your orgasm.

You only parted after you finished riding out your orgasm, after your lungs were burning, and you felt weak and feverish. You looked into his eyes for a little while and Chishiya opened his mouth to speak, only to come up with nothing but shallow gasps and a smile. His heart jumped when you smiled back.

"Chishiya, make love to me, please", he'd think you were in pain if it wasn't your smile. The way you were looking at him.

"Of course", he said, laying you down on the floor on your back, parting your knees, taking a moment to just look at you, making you feel shy. "You're so gorgeous. Are you ready for me?", he asked.

"Yes!", you moaned. You couldn't believe this was happening. Not in the Borderlands of all places.

Slowly, he started to put it inside of you, and the stretch of him was amazing. You blindly reached for one of his hands that was bracketing your head, him holding the back of it to his lips for a second before continuing.

"Almost there. Are you ok? Fuck. Does it hurt?", he said. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you into the floor but he wanted to be gentle with you. Wanted to see you fall apart slowly for him.

"Ah... You're amazing. It feels amazing", you sighed, dreamily; you never felt so full in your entire life, it was an all encompassing feeling, you couldn't do anything but to lay there and feel him inside you. Your eyes meeting his with another dazzling smile, and he almost came on the spot.

"Ah, ah!", he bottomed out inside of you and he couldn't believe how warm and wet you were. "So good...", he started to grind his hips into yours, not really pulling out. He couldn't pull away from you right now, not when you felt so good.

The both of you were in a frenzy, hips grinding into each other desperately, the both of you sweaty and moaning. One of you hands was tightly clasped in one of Chishiya's, the other with their nails deep into the skin of his shoulder, the other hand of Chishiya was gripping your tigh, his arm wrapped around it. Your mouth was open in ecstacy, moaning like an animal in heat. Chishiya didn't know where to place his mouth. Dragging across yours, on your neck, your shoulders, your collarbones, down your chest.

"Chishiya, Chishiya, Chishiya", you wanted to let him know you were about to cum, but your mind was numb and the only thing you could say was his name over and over.

"Are you close?", he breathed out and you nodded feverishly. "Me too. Will you cum with me?", he moaned and it was the most beautiful sound you heard in your life. You didn't stand a chance, clenching around him with a desperate cry of his name while he pressed his hips to yours, pumping you full of his cum.

It felt like you both were locked together, standing still against each other like a statue for ages. You didn't know how long until your soul returned to your body but when it did, you knew yours and his were intertwined. "Hi", you breathed, and he smiled. Not a quirk of his lips, a full fledged smile, teeth and all. "I should clean you up", he said, using his shirt to clean the cum seeping out of you, being mindful of how sensitive you were. "Hurts?", he asked. "No, I'm fine", you said. After dressing you and himself, discarding the shirt and zipping his hoodie with nothing underneath, he held you to his chest.

"I believe there's good in this world too", he said.

"Hm?", you asked, sleepy, your cheek pressed against his chest, with his arms around you.

"I believe there's good in the world too. Maybe less than you but I do. Believe that there's good out there. I'll go back with you, if we get lost I'll find you. And then I'll make love to you again, and hold you close, to remember that there's good in the real world too", he said. "I love you too", he said, squeezing you to him.

[godsiero]

promises (found a title)

heyo, i’m back with PLOT and EXPOSITION. sorry it’s so long, but this is needed information! it could’ve been longer, but then i realized it was nearing 10k and decided to stop lmao. i actually edited and proofread this one before posting it like a big girl so i hope the five people who read it enjoy it! i love this so much, but also please criticise me.

chapter one is here

wc: 9k

warnings: physical abuse (oc), panic attack (oc), hurt/comfort (spencer is the sweetest), mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, general cm content, mentions of possible sexual harassment

__________________________________________

In the six months that had passed since joining the team, Claudia had started to fit right in, the same way Morgan had said she would. Any time she’d had off, she found herself sharing it with Spencer; discussing books and reading over the essays of past agents Blake and Lewis, whom he spoke highly of, and she wished she could’ve met them while they were on the team. They bonded over their time as professors, discussing the different experiences they’d had; Spencer with his classes full of auditing students (Claudia sensed there was something fishy behind that), Claudia with her classes full of boys who would never listen. That made Spencer a certain type of upset he couldn’t quite place. He’d ask her about it another time.

Claudia was the first person in a long time to hold a candle to Gideon when it came to playing chess with Spencer, again, it gave him a feeling in his chest he couldn’t quite place. When they played chess, they would either sit in silence, or they would both ramble off at each other about everything and nothing, and they quickly discovered they had a lot more in common than their academic tastes.

Claudia had put him in check during one of their games and mumbled “Allons-y!” under her breath in a tired haze. She hadn’t realized Spencer had heard her until she heard his laugh (which she enjoyed getting out of him, often, but that was neither here nor there).

“Were you showing me you’ve been working on your French, or were you quoting David Tennant’s doctor?” Spencer had his suspicions that Claudia had at least seen a little bit of the show. She had a scarf that was a subtler version of the fourth Doctor’s and sometimes he’d see her notes she would take during briefings and on the plane, and he’d notice she would doodle the different screwdrivers, but he’d never tell her he was looking so closely at something so small that was only meant for her to see. She would never tell him she’s noticed his wandering eye.

She smiled into herself, trying to avoid his gaze, cursing herself for outing one of her secrets so obviously. It was one thing to subtly hint she’d had the interest, it was another thing entirely to let it slip out so clearly. She’d wanted to wait a little longer before showing the team who she really, really was, but she thinks she’d be fine with him knowing her a little better than anybody else.

“What if it was both?”

Spencer raised his eyebrows and smiled, “Why didn’t you tell me! We could’ve been watching it together this whole time!”

Hearing him say the words “we” and “together” in the same sentence and referring to her gave her a certain sort of pride and honor she did not want to think too deeply about, considering he probably used the same words when talking about something else with someone else.

“I don’t know…” Claudia decided to come clean, partially, “I might have been…hiding a few things about myself for fear of seeming…juvenile?” She phrased it like a question because saying it out loud to someone for the first time made her feel really stupid and she suddenly regretted ever hiding herself from any of them, especially Spencer.

He looked her in the eyes, “Claudia. Your personal interests, no matter how ‘juvenile,’ do not diminish your intellect. Liking Doctor Who and having fun does not make you any less of an academic, it makes you human.”

She was surprised by how empathetic he was being. She’d gotten to know him on a personal and friendly level, and she was proud of that (especially since, according to Penelope, he was unusually quick to open up to Claudia), but she hadn’t expected him to be so…compassionate.

“I know, but…” she focused her gaze somewhere else, trying to think of a logical reason to explain away why she felt lying so profusely was necessary. She wanted them to know her, why was she still hiding?

“No, there doesn’t need to be a ‘but,’ you can just be honest, now. I’ve found you out, I know you’re a nerd, I know you’re a loser, just like me, it’s okay,” she knew he was joking, but he gave her a sympathetic look anyway, to prove it.

“First of all, doctor, you do not know a thing about me, in due time.”

“Oh, really?” he kept his playful air about him while going on his rant, “Then how do I know you’re never listening to a podcast when you have your headphones in? How do I know that you’re actually listening to a variety of music from various genres that are all subgenres of rock or metal? How do I know that your favorite of all of that music came out between the years of 2002 and 2008? How do I know that you often listen to the same songs over and over again because you can’t get enough of them until you catch an itch to listen to a different song approximately 12 times in a row, without getting bored? If I, presumably, don’t know a thing about you, how is it that I know, arguably, the most important thing about you?”

For lack of a better word, Claudia was speechless.

He had just made an absolute fool out of her and she couldn’t even say a word.

So she started laughing.

She wasn’t laughing at him. She was laughing at how stupid she had been to think she could’ve gotten anything past him, especially the thing that meant the most to her.

“Are you laughing because I’m right? Because I know I’m right. I know I tend to be right, but there is a less than 5% chance I’m wrong and just made an idiot of myself,” he was chuckling along with her.

Gasping for air while she spoke, or rather, yelled, “YES! Yes, god, you’re right, you’re right! But Jesus Christ, you didn’t have to hit the nail on the head, Spencer!”

He gave her a playful side-smile, “I knew I’d figure you out. You had me fooled for a while there.”

“That was the idea.”

“Why? I understood the fear of appearing juvenile, but, forgive me, your music taste is anything but. And that’s coming from someone who listens to Mozart and Bach.”

“I just wanted everyone to see me as this…proper…professional. I don’t know, being the youngest on a team full of people who have known each other for a decade is a little intimidating,” she was the one rambling, now, “so long story short I tried to hide everything that made me, me so everybody would like me and think I was incredible at this job, and it worked, I guess, because JJ and Emily come to me for advice and Morgan talks to me about his fatherly insecurities and Rossi invites me over to his mansion to discuss cultura e storia and I work out with Hotch and I don’t even know how I ended up in such situations, but it seems a thank you is in order to give to my fake self that is quiet, yet sassy, and firm, yet soft, and totally and completely calm any time you lay eyes on her, meanwhile Claudia Jessup is actually a loud and abrasive autistic freak who self-soothes by blasting music so loud, you’d think I’d gone deaf by now, and buying trinkets that make my heart flutter, and drinking coffee as much as I possibly can because it makes me feel like it’s always cold outside, and buying romance books because I just love reading about two people going stupid with how desperate they are for each other, and I also love the way they smell and how they feel when I flip all of the pages at the same time, and I love Peter Capaldi’s Doctor and I am tired of pretending he was a terrible choice.”

She finally gasped for air and came out of her self-induced tunnel vision to see Spencer. Still sitting across from her, at his chess table, in his apartment. He hadn’t stopped listening. He hadn’t gotten up and begun to ignore her. He hadn’t walked to the door to tell her to leave. He’d just listened. A grin adorned his face. He was bursting at the seams with pride. He was so happy to get the truth out of her. He’d gotten so close to her, so fast, that she’d let her mask slip a few times, and he was determined to crack her open, and he did. At first, he felt bad. He felt as though he’d pushed her too far, before she was ready, but he could tell, now, that she had needed to do that. She needed to stop hiding and lying.

“Feel better?”

She felt like she just finished with a manic episode. She was laughing with every exhale, she put her elbows on her knees, and put her hands on her forehead, staring at the ground, eyes wide, “Yeah. Yeah, I feel better. I feel…I feel like I just went supernova on you…”

“I certainly don’t feel like you just went supernova on me.”

“And I think if I stay here any longer, I might suck you into the black hole.”

She’d had breaks like this before. The end of a long period of masking. The beginning of the end was always an epiphany; it made her feel high. Then it was followed by panic; she felt like she’d gone too far, blown everything out of proportion, gone supernova. Then finally, she would bring everything in her wake down with her, in a fit of embarrassing, dramatic, and unintentional rage and emotion she’d never meant to place on anybody. She needed to get away from Spencer immediately; she didn’t want him to see that part of her. Ever.

In addition to the obvious, this conversation with Spencer, and his response and reaction, had flipped a switch inside of her. She’d realized there was something she needed to do before she could fully, officially open up to everybody on the team, and she thought she was finally in the position to do it. She got up from his chess table and started to get her things.

“Claudia, you don’t have to-”

“No, no, Spencer, it’s fine, I’m fine, I just…really don’t want you to see what happens next…”

“Where are you going?”

“I just…there’s something I need to do tonight.”

“I can go with you.”

“No, no, thank you, that’s okay. I need to be alone. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Okay…be safe.”

“I will, I promise. Get some sleep.”

“Okay…call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Claudia”

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

As she left Spencer’s apartment, she double checked everything: her bank account, her lease, her insurance, her storage unit, her security system. She couldn’t believe it took her this long to act on the plan she’d been silently hatching with herself, but she needed to be positive she could do it by herself before making her first move.

Claudia spent the last five years in a relationship. She spent the last three years living with them. She spent the last two in self defense and boxing classes. Over the last six months, she’d been working up the courage to prove to herself she could survive on her own. Despite her time with the CSI, her time as a professor, and her time as a licensed therapist, she still had never been able to safely and securely leave. Something about Spencer figuring her out and her spilling her guts to him and him still hanging around without a trace of fear in his eyes made her realize she could’ve and should’ve done this years ago. She leveled with herself and said better late than never.

When she arrived home, he wasn’t there, thank god. She didn’t know how she was going to go about this, at all. She looked around and hated everything she saw. Like she told Spencer earlier, she would always buy little trinkets and toys and paintings and books and blankets and mugs she liked, but she never had anywhere to put them. Seeing things that brought her joy in a place that brought her so much pain made her feel stupid. She hated feeling happy around him. She didn’t want to give him the pleasure of even thinking he caused it, not that he would, he hated her just as much as she hated him. They barely even spoke or saw each other any more, neither of them were ever home at the same time, even before she got this job, not that she was complaining.

They did love each other, once. A long time ago. He thought she was smart, she thought he was alive. They liked the same music, ran in the same crowds, it seemed right, and it was for two years. It was nice, he was nice. Eventually, though, she’d started paying less and less attention to him. Not out of anything personal, but because her career had started falling into place; she’d become a professor at Penn, she’d been promoted with the CSI, and she’d kept clients for years, at that point; she’d gotten everything she’d wanted.

And he hadn’t. He built up a resentment towards her. He started partying more, drinking more, doing drugs, cheating on her (though he didn’t know she knew that). She didn’t know what she’d done wrong, but she knew something changed. It was when he came home in a drunken rage and hit her that she realized nothing would ever be the same. At the time, it had felt like a one-time-thing. You would think she would’ve left, given what she knew, but she saw it as an opportunity for a case study. Selfish? Of course, but she was putting herself at risk for the sake of science, she could live with that.

She had tried doting on him more, being kinder, going out of her way to please him, and she found he had been nicer, happier, more tolerant of her busy schedule. After a month, she started ignoring him again, throwing herself into her work, never coming home before he was asleep, and her theory was right, that set him off again. This time, he wasn’t drunk, and he beat the shit out of her. Shouting at her, spitting on her, very nearly breaking her bones, definitely leaving some deep cuts and bruises that took weeks to go away. In the middle of it all, she’d started taking classes to be sure if he ever went too far, she could fight back, and take him down. That went on until he got bored.

A year. She spent a year conducting this study. After he’d finally got tired of his affectionately abusive cocktail, he stopped paying attention to her entirely. That was when she really cracked down on her work, but the second she was able to focus totally and completely on that, Roy got sick. She would’ve finished her PhD early, but she started worrying about him. She stayed with him and cared for him as long as she could, until…

The months after were a blur. She focused on her work when she needed to. When she wasn’t working, she was at home. Not her apartment, but home, where she’d grown up. Going through everything, not that there was much. Roy was never a material kind of guy. He sure knew how to raise a material kind of girl, though.

She had taken far longer than she needed to. She didn’t want to leave that house. She didn’t want to go back to the one she lived in now. She didn’t want to be around him anymore. The day she had finished cleaning out the house was the day she decided to leave him, even though she didn’t know how. She knew it would take a while, but she promised herself, and Roy, that she would do it.

Claudia Jessup did not break her promises.

She’d had to move him to D.C. with her. He didn’t have to come, but he did. He could’ve ended it when she left Philadelphia, but he needed her for the same reason she needed him. She was about to rip that security out from underneath him, and she felt an excitement bubbling beneath her skin that was not unlike the adrenaline she experienced while out in the field.

She was determined to stay up until he got home. She didn’t know when, or if, that would happen tonight, but it didn’t matter. It was a promise she made herself, so she was going to keep it.

She got in the shower, taking advantage of the solitude and blasting her music for the first time in what seemed like forever. She needed it. She felt bad about leaving Spencer; she wanted to text him; she’ll do it when she gets out. She’d make it up to him on Monday, when she brought him his coffee.

That was a sweet exchange. Claudia had done into the bullpen with coffee from The Grounds. Not her favorite place to get a cup from, but certainly the closest and easily accessible on her way to work. You would never believe the absolute shock on her face when Spencer had entered her and Penelope’s conversation with a cup from Coci, her preferred choice of coffee shop in the harbour. She instantly started interrogating him about it.

“Is that from Coci?”

“Yeah, it’s not my favorite, but my favorite is kind of out of the way for me, so I settle for second best. Anything beats the pot here,” she feigned betrayal on her face at his admission.

“How dare you.”

“What?”

“How dare you say drinking from Coci is a ‘second best’ kind of experience,” she said dreamily.

“Because I believe it is. I don’t think it’s bad, it’s just not what I prefer. I’d love to get a cup from The Grounds, but that would add an extra twenty minutes to my commute, and that’s not worth it.”

She looked at him, dumbfounded, looked at her own coffee, and turned it toward him so that the label faced him.

“You mean…this ‘The Grounds’ coffee?”

It was Spencer’s turn to be playfully shocked, “Oh my god! You go to The Grounds?”

“Since moving here, yes, and I would say this is second best to my one true love, Coci.”

“Well I think it’s settled then. How do you take yours?”

“Black and scalding, why?”

“I’m going to start bringing you your order, if you don’t mind bringing mine. This seems a fair exchange.”

“You’re not “boy genius” for nothing, clearly,” he’d told her his coffee should have at least eight packs of sugar in it, which made her laugh. When he didn’t say he was joking, she looked very concerned, “Wait, seriously?”

“Seriously.”

With that, a tradition had started: every morning, Spencer had brought her her favorite black coffee and Claudia had brought him his favorite black coffee…with a ridiculous amount of sugar.

“Sugar with coffee,” she said.

“Coffee with nothing,” he replied.

They cheered each other and said that every single morning since then, and she’d hoped it would never stop.

She’d gotten so wrapped up in the memory, she didn’t hear her music stop playing because she was getting a phone call. She was in the middle of washing her face when she opened the shower curtain to see she was getting a call from Garcia. She rinsed off her face with record breaking speed and picked up her phone, while still halfway in the shower.

“Garcia?”

“Hi, hon. I know it’s late, or, uh, early, but we’ve got a case. Get here as soon as you can and be safe.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in thirty,” and she hung up the phone. She could’ve said twenty, but since it was four in the morning, she figured she may as well keep up appearances with Spencer, while it was on her mind.

She hadn’t realized how late it had gotten and instantly regretted having the music so loud, she’d hoped her neighbors wouldn’t mind. She got dressed and stepped out of the bedroom, running into him.

“Jesus, Devon, I didn’t even hear you come in,” she wasn’t afraid of him, but she was afraid of somebody coming into her home, so not hearing that he’d come in shocked her a little.

“Feeling a little jumpy, Claude? Your big girl job scaring you yet?”

“You? Scare me? Not in a million years. And don’t call me that,” she pushed past him and tried to get her go bag from the front closet, but he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“Where are you going? It’s four in the morning on a Sunday.”

“One, I don’t have to tell you where I’m going. Two, this happens sometimes. Three, you’re drunk,” she could’ve pulled out of his grasp, but chose not to. Now was as good a time as ever to execute her plan. Case be damned, this needed to happen, now, or she wouldn’t have the opportunity again, for who knows how long.

He held onto her arm tighter, “What? You gonna arrest me for drinking, officer?”

“I’m not an officer. Let me go, Devon.”

“Why? So you can run off to your little brainiac?” he had let her go, but he did so by tossing her away.

“There is no way you are accusing me of cheating right now.”

“You’re not denying it.”

“Even if I was, which I’m not, why does it matter to you?”

He abruptly ran up to her, gripped her shoulders, and pinned her against the wall, gritting through his teeth, “Because I’d like to know if I need to teach somebody a lesson on loyalty.”

She spit in his face, then, which caused him to pull her off the wall and slam her head right back into it.

“You think you can treat me like that, bitch?” he was yelling now. She was holding the back of her head.

“Yes, actually, I do. You’re a drugged up drunk who beats on someone who’s never done a single thing to you besides stay with you through all of your bullshit, including cheating on her.”

He gave her a good backhand slap, that sent her to the ground, “You don’t know that, how do you know that?”

“I didn’t, but thank you for the confirmation,” she smiled a rueful smile at him and stood up. She felt blood running down her face. He had a ring he always wore on his finger that must’ve cut her face, when he hit it.

He hit her in the same spot and sent her to the ground again, this time with his fist.

“Keep ‘em comin’, Devon, beat the shit out of me like you always do!” at that, he put his hands around her neck, pulled her up, and slammed her against the wall again, this time cutting off her airway.

She choked out, “Go…a-ahead. Sh-show…the gov..ernment…what…y-you…can…do-”

He threw her to the ground at the reminder of her job, “God dammit Claudia, why do you have to be like this?”

“Be like what? Ready and willing to please you?” she was clutching her throat, gasping for air between words.

He had never liked when she was sarcastic, he grabbed her face with his hand, “Don’t fuck with me,” and kneed her in the stomach, throwing her on the ground.

She couldn’t help but let out a grunt, at that. She might be mentally fine with his abuse, but he was still fully capable of hurting her.

He flipped her over and straddled her, making sure she stayed on the ground, not that she was going to try to get up, and he went to town on her face with his fists.

Between blows she would manage to get out, “‘Do your worst, inferior one,’” this threw him off, so he hesitated on his next punch, which gave her the opportunity to take advantage of him. She tucked her leg under his bent knee and flipped him over, pinned his arms to the ground, and started pressing her forearm into his neck ever so slightly before getting really close to his face and saying, “Take a good look at your handiwork, Devon. Enjoy it while you can because you will never see me again,” her entire face was bloody and swollen. She knew he loved to look at the damage he had done to her, knowing it made her beautiful face unsightly, making people turn away from her on the street when her favorite thing was human connection. This was how he took her down. Or so he thought.

“Listen to me right now. Nobody. Will ever know you did this to me. The FBI will never know you did this to me. I’m not going to report you. I’m not going to have you arrested. I’m not going to tell a single soul how this happened. Not. Even. Spencer.” she knew that would set him off. He wanted to hate Spencer for ruining his relationship, for being smarter, for being everything he could never be. He was stuck in a state of delusion, thinking everything was fine before Spencer came along. He thought leaving his marks on her let Spencer know she was his and she belonged to him, not some nerd at her job. Little did he know she had never let anybody know the marks were from him because nobody knew about him to begin with. They knew she took boxing courses at the bureau, which they all knew could get ugly, but were worth it for the experience and pay off. Any marks they saw on her were easily explained away by that.

“You are going to give me your key. You are going to walk out of here before me. We. Are. Done. Do you understand me?” he didn’t respond because of the lack of oxygen getting to his brain, “Do you understand me?” she said it much louder, then, and he nodded as best he could.

“Take your key off of your belt.”

She let go of his left arm and he slid it down to his belt loop where he’d had his keys on a carabiner. He unclipped it and tossed it across the room.

After that, she climbed off of him, went to the keys, found the one he’d had to the place, and took it off. Triple checking he hadn’t made a copy. He was too stupid to hide one anywhere and she was too smart to leave one hidden in case of an emergency for him to know about.

He couldn’t even go after her to give her a piece of his mind because he was too busy regaining full consciousness while she was dealing with the keys. When she was finished, she walked back over to him, grabbed his shirt in her fist, and pulled him into a standing position. She didn’t say anything to him as she opened the door and shoved him outside. She locked all three locks before walking back into her bathroom to check the damage he’d done.

This was probably the worst he’d ever done to her. Her lips were busted, her gums were bleeding, her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks were bruised. She had cuts all over her face, her ribs were bruised, and there were ten faint lines burned into her neck from where his hands had been.

She looked herself in the eye and smiled. She started crying to herself. She’d never been more proud of something she had done, including make Roy proud. She was honored to be in this body and in this mind and make it out alive of what she’d just done.

She cleaned herself up, put on some makeup, and a few butterfly bandages.

She examined herself and determined the way she looked now would pass as “a few cuts and bruises from Luke at the training facility.”

Then, she remembered she promised Spencer to call him if she needed anything (it was not lost on her that she also promised him that she would be safe, and although she just got the pulp beaten out of her, she was safe the entire time).

While she was leaving her apartment, she’d called Spencer.

He picked up the phone with his typical sass, “Did you even sleep?”

“No. Did you?”

“Nope.”

“I told you to get some sleep!”

“I never promised that I would.”

“Touche. I made a promise, though, and that was to call you if I needed anything…”

“Coci?”

“You’re already there aren’t you?”

“You think just because it’s four in the morning on a Sunday I’d forget about my Claudia’s coffee? Who do you think I am? Some sort of criminal?”

She deliberately ignored how casually he called her his Claudia.

“No, somebody else did that already.”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry. Too soon?”

“You can make it up to me by returning the favor.”

“On it, bud. Over and out.”

By the time she hung up, she’d gotten into her car, and made her way to The Grounds.

__________________________________________

Claudia had been walking into the front entrance of the BAU’s building when she noticed Spencer was the person a few feet in front of her.

“Hey! Sugar with coffee!” she shouted to get his attention.

He’d just finished swiping his card, so he opened the door and held it for her (which was strictly against policy, but it was Claudia).

“Coffee with nothing,” they exchanged cups as she walked through the door, “my god they did a number on you didn’t they?” he’d begun to inspect her face, seeing all of the cuts she’d bandaged. She looked at him, confused as to what he was talking about, then he saw where his eyes were going as he inspected her face, and remembered.

“Oh. Yeah,” before she could say anymore, she remembered she promised not to lie to him anymore. Her admission was honest enough. She never promised to not withhold information.

He had a subtle hint of concern in his eyes that he normally didn’t have when he noticed her cuts and bruises she got from the training facility. He felt like something was off about these, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He knew she wasn’t lying, but something was off about how she avoided eye contact with him after he’d said something.

Then he remembered the facility didn’t have classes on Sunday, and when she’d left his apartment only hours before, she didn’t look like that.

He was just about to pry more information out of her, when they ran into JJ, coming from the opposite direction.

“Anybody else feel like they’re sleepwalking?”

“Tell me about it, I didn’t sleep at all, literally,” Claudia chuckled.

“Me neither, Henry has had food poisoning, and my mother was staying with us, talk about having your hands full.”

The elevator dinged. Claudia and JJ stepped into the elevator, while Spencer stayed put, stuck in a daze.

“Spence?”

“Earth to Spencer?”

He snapped back into reality and forced his thoughts of what Claudia was keeping from him back down his throat and into the confines of his reminders for later.

“Sorry, need to drink this coffee faster I guess,” he tried at a joke, but they could both see something else turning the gears of that big brain of his.

Claudia knew it had something to do with her, judging by his previous reaction, and considering she didn’t exactly want to talk about it in front of JJ, she stayed silent.

JJ, however, had other plans, “Are you okay? You look a little…”

Before she could finish, he blinked and shook his head like a dog after a bath, “Yeah, yeah, I’m just tired,” to really seal the deal, he let out a huge yawn, which made Claudia and JJ follow suit.

Mid-yawn, breaking the tension between her and Spencer, Claudia said, “My god, don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,” he picked up that that was her way of acknowledging she knew that he knew she was hiding something from him, so he calmed down a bit too. By the time he said that, they’d reached the sixth floor, only to be met by the rest of the team heading into the elevator.

“No time to brief you three. Wheels up now.”

__________________________________________

The plane ride was lackluster, the case is straightforward, but still unable to be solved, for now. This unsub is particularly frantic and unpredictable with his timing, but his MO suggests he was abandoned by his father and looking for surrogates now. Nothing they hadn’t seen before.

After a long flight to Seattle and the drive to this small town thirty miles outside of it, Hotch demanded everyone get some sleep in order to crack down on this guy the next day.

The small town hospitality was not unrecognized. Everybody knew everybody, so when the local police needed to house FBI agents who were trying to catch the man killing well-respected people of the community, loads of folks opened their doors, including a local inn.

Owned and operated by a retired couple in their seventies, it had surprisingly good business, which, unfortunately for the team, meant they had to bunk.

“Lucky for us they still have three rooms available,” Hotch said.

“Lucky? Hotch, have you noticed there are six of us?” Morgan was always the first to despise the idea of bunking with anybody.

“Yes, I have, which is why we’re lucky they still have three rooms and not two.”

“Well, JJ, let’s get a move-on,” Emily had already grabbed her go-bag and took a key from Hotch without a second thought.

“Well, I am absolutely not rooming with Reid,” Morgan had always had a strict “no Spencer” clause when it came to situations like this.

“Guess it’s you and me then,” Hotch had responded to Derek, until he realized who that left, “oh…”

Neither Spencer, nor Claudia, had realized this either until the moment came. Claudia had stopped scrolling on her phone and Spencer had stopped perusing the lobby, waiting for his room assignment, but they heard Hotch’s exclamation.

They both looked at Hotch, then at each other, the back at Hotch before saying, at the exact same time:

“It’s totally fine, we’re friends.”

“There’ll be a male and female pair no matter what we do.”

They looked back at each other one last time before Hotch said, “Okay. As long as you’re both okay with this arrangement, I won’t bother anybody over it.”

He threw Claudia the key before leading Morgan up the stairs to their room. Hotch muttered something to Derek that made him yell with laughter. Spencer and Claudia could only imagine what that was about.

As if on cue, the two looked at each other at the exact same time and started giggling like children who had caught their parents doing something silly.

“Come on,” Claudia said through her fit of laughter.

As she walked ahead of him, Spencer’s mind wandered back to the cuts on her face. He’d thought she’d had more makeup on today than usual. Not that he often paid attention to how little or how much makeup she wore (she rarely wore more than the bare minimum, but he only knew that because she wore a bit less than JJ, Emily, and Garcia). He thought it was strange that she not only procured multiple cuts, but had also been wearing a turtleneck in August. Not the most absurd thing to see, but definitely not ordinary. He wondered if she packed more to continue hiding.

They walked to the room in a comfortable silence, but there was still something lingering between them, and they both knew what it was.

Claudia arrived at the door and unlocked it, making her way inside to, thankfully, see two beds. She had read enough romance novels to know sharing a room with your best friend by chance usually leads things in a crazy direction she did not want to go into tonight (or ever, for that matter, she shoved that thought deep, deep down). She had also had enough sense in her to know that things like that don’t happen in real life.

“Which bed do you want?” Spencer knocked her out of her train of thought.

“Oh, uh,” she wanted to lie and say it didn’t matter, but it did, so she sucked it up and told herself that it’s just Spencer. She could tell him everything, no matter how silly or mundane it seemed.

“Could I have the one next to the air conditioner?”

“Absolutely,” Spencer stood in between the beds and threw his stuff on the one farther away from the ac, so that he could bow to her bed and say, “your throne awaits, my Queen,” in a truly terrible impression of one of the characters from the cartoon portion of Mary Poppins, but it made her laugh, nonetheless.

He started laughing with her, and while she tried to breathe through her laughs she asked, “What on god’s good earth was that!”

“I have no idea, I’m so tired,” he was still laughing, too, “but I did want to…diffuse some tension,” he calmed down to look her in her eyes, pleading for her to finish telling him the truth about what happened to her.

When she just stared back at him, he continued, “Claudia, there is no training at the facility on Sunday. You didn’t get those from Luke.”

She looked away from him, then. She felt her eyes start to burn, but she refused to crack in front of him.

“No. I didn’t.”

“Then where did you get them from,” Spencer was being very gentle with his delivery, which she appreciated.

After a moment’s silence, weighing her options, she said, “Spencer. I will tell you,” she took in a shaky breath, “if you promise not to tell anyone.”

“I promise.”

“I mean it.”

“So do I,” at that, he held up his pinky for her to take. They’d had a discussion a while ago where they both thought keeping a pinky promise was above the law, space, and time, and they meant it, wholeheartedly. She looked between his eyes and his hand and took his pinky in hers. He brought his hand to his lips and kissed his thumb. He pushed their hands towards her and she did the same.

Neither of them tried to let go by the time she started talking, so they both held on tighter.

“Uh…so…like I already told you, I had been trying to keep parts of myself a secret,” she looked into his eyes to be sure he was listening (and also to seek solace). He nodded.

“Well, one of the biggest was that I…kind of…maybe…had a boyfriend…the whole time…” Spencer’s eyes went wide with shock and his brow furrowed at this admission. Of all the things he’s seen through, he never would’ve guessed that.

“You- what?”

He wasn’t mad, he was genuinely surprised.

“Emphasis on the word ‘had,’” she rolled her eyes, “as of this morning.”

Spencer realized where this was going and he felt his chest and jaw clench, his eyes burn, and his blood pulsing everywhere.

Claudia noticed those physical changes and she couldn’t help but look at him like he was a lost puppy. Seeing him like this hurt her more than anything Devon had ever done to her.

She wrapped her hand around his wrist that was holding her pinky, “I don’t want to make you upset-“

He cut her off, “Nothing you are doing is making me upset, I promise. Keep going.”

At that, Claudia sat down on the bed Spencer had claimed as his, and she pulled him down to sit next to her. She didn’t think she could look into those doe eyes of his any longer without completely breaking down, especially while saying what she was about to say.

“I started dating him halfway through the first year of my doctorate. I went to all of these concerts with my friends from my undergrad program and he was always there too. I thought he was cool. My friends who were friends with his friends thought he was cool. We kissed a few times, went on some dates, and started seeing each other. He supported me through half of my time at Penn; he made sure I ate between teaching courses and having sessions with my clients. He made sure I slept enough when I got back from investigations with the CSI, even if it meant canceling some of my classes, my students always understood. After we moved in together, something…switched in him. He started drinking, he stopped going to work, he started avoiding me. One day, after weeks of me being absent and juggling everything all at once, I came home and he was angry. A kind of angry I had never seen before from anybody. He…threw his nearly-full bottle of beer at the door I had walked through. It barely missed my head. When it did, he ran me into the wall and started choking me. My head hit the wall so hard, I nearly fainted. When I didn’t faint, he punched me. Then I blacked out…”

“Did he-“ she knew what Spencer was alluding to, and didn’t want him to finish his sentence.

“No. No. He never did that,” there were times, however, that she had felt the same amount of passion was not reciprocated. But she didn’t want to tell him that. That had nothing to do with this.

“I woke up on the floor, confused. I figured it was a fit of drunken rage, so I decided not to think too hard about it. That is, until, it kept happening,” Spencer felt like his muscles and his bones were going to rip out of his skin. His leg was bouncing up and down and his hands had started to shake from keeping all of this rage inside of him. Claudia noticed, but if she didn’t keep talking, she’d never finish. She needed this to end just as badly as him, and if she didn’t tell him everything, he would know.

“That was my life for a year. It only happened when he was drunk, but it got worse. After the second time, the time I knew it was all intentional, I started taking self-defense and boxing classes and I promised myself I would leave him, but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t live by myself. I didn’t want to tell anybody this was happening, especially not-“ she felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t know if she should or could tell Spencer about Roy. Her eyes were wet now, but she was stubborn as all hell, and refused to cry in front of him about something as stupid as Devon. Roy, on the other hand, she could cry about Roy any time of day, and she wasn’t even a crier, but she didn’t think it was fair to dump all of that onto Spencer when she was already telling him all of this.

“Especially not who?” she hadn’t realized she zoned out while weighing her options. Now he would definitely know she was keeping something from him. Honesty, it is then.

“Somebody I…I can’t tell you about, right now, or ever, maybe, but…” she didn’t know how to justify her reasoning for that besides the fact that she had made a bigger promise to Roy to try not to dwell on him. Or talk about him. Thanks for the impossible task, jackass.

“It’s okay. Keep going,” Spencer was being so nice to her, she felt like she would shatter into a million pieces with how fragile she felt.

She told him about her study she’d conducted on him. Spencer recognized it as a part of her dissertation she had written. This whole time, his favorite part of her dissertation, a part that felt so clinical, so real, so calculated, and so emotional wasn’t about a willing client of Claudia’s. It was about Claudia herself. He felt like he was going to be sick.

She didn’t notice, so she kept going. She began to ramble because she realized that would be the only way to get all of this out. She told him about how their conversation led her to finally make the decision to enact this ridiculous plan of hers.

“Wait,” broken from his trance, Spencer spoke up, “I caused this?”

“What? Spencer, no, absolutely not. I need you to understand that I could’ve fought back. I could’ve taken him down. I could’ve done to him what he did to me tenfold. I chose to let him do so much. It was a…selfish, psychological manipulation,” she suddenly felt horrible admitting that’s what she’d done. She felt as low as him now, “Which I realize was stupid and immature, but…I wanted him to think he was safe. I wanted him to think this was business as usual. And then I wanted to rip the rug out from under him. Crush his hopes of thinking he ever had control. From the second time he’d done this, the control was in my hands. You know, he thought everyone knew he did this to me? He took pride in it, but he never knew I covered them. He never knew you all knew I took boxing at the facility. He never knew none of you knew about him, until I told him this morning. The look behind his eyes was priceless. I wish I could’ve captured it on film. He looked so…defeated.”

She’d developed a death grip on Spencer’s wrist and instantly let go. She felt like something was breaking inside of her. She didn’t feel like herself. She was an aggressive person. She was a loud person. Hell, she was even violent, when it came to a punching bag, but the way she psychologically tortured Devon with one sentence felt like she betrayed every good thing she had ever done in the name of justice.

She got up from the bed, then, and started pacing, “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“I don’t know, everything? Holding your wrist too tight, telling you all of that, god, you probably think I’m insane now. You probably think I’m an absolute psycho who gets pleasure out of making people feel small, oh my god, I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m so sorry, Spencer, I ruined everything, please please please don’t hate me, please don’t tell me I ruined everything. Oh my god I don’t think I can handle losing you, too, right now,” she had begun to shake and hyperventilate. Spencer almost couldn’t take the sight of her like this. He never wanted to see her in pain.

“Hey,” he touched her shoulder, and guided her to sit back down, “it’s okay. You’re okay. We are okay,” he had moved his hand from her shoulder to her upper back, slowly rubbing random patterns across it.

“Can you…can you please stop that?” Claudia had never found someone rubbing her back to be soothing in the case of a panic attack, she found it actually made her feel more suffocated, but she knew Spencer didn’t know that, so she tried to ask in the nicest way possible, given the circumstances.

“Of course,” Spencer instantly stopped and removed his hand, “is there anything else you’d like me to do instead?” He was using that godforsaken whisper of his that made him seem so damn kind and understanding. She heard him use it with children multiple times out in the field, but she never thought he’d be using it on her. The tears might start falling, now, she thought.

“I don’t…I don’t know, could you…could you hold my hand really tight, please?”

She still couldn’t get a hold of her breathing. Her eyes were sealed shut and she was rubbing her hands over her pants; she felt the need to be in constant motion to remind herself that she was still alive.

“Yes,” he grabbed her right hand in both of his and gripped as hard as he thought was necessary without hurting her.

“Could you…could you squeeze harder,” she needed to feel like her circulation was about to be cut off in order for it to work.

“Harder? Are you-“

“Yes, I’m sure.”

He squeezed harder until it hurt him to keep going, and he kept that pressure there until she told him to stop. While he was gripping her hand, her breathing slowed, and her left hand had stopped rubbing her leg. Her grip on him hadn’t lessened, though, so he didn’t let go of that.

Her eyes were still shut, but she said, “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Claudia, you didn’t scare me by having a panic attack.”

“But I did scare you?”

“No, you didn’t scare me at all, for any reason, I promise,” it baffled him that she thought that would’ve scared him. If anything, it made him admire her more now that she was comfortable enough to let him see this side of her. Granted, you don’t choose when a panic attack happens, but she could’ve left the room if she wanted to. He knew that.

“You can loosen your hand now,” she was careful not to say ‘let go,’ because she didn’t want him to let go.

He did, but his grip was still firm, tethering her to this moment, to him, to the bed they sat on.

“Do you want some water?”

“Please.”

There were complimentary waters in the room, but they weren’t cold, and he knew she would’ve preferred it to be ice cold freezing. She sensed that’s what he was thinking about when he hesitated to bring it over to her.

“Any water, please, Spencer.”

“Sorry,” he handed her the bottle and she chugged almost the whole thing in one go. She loved the way gulping felt in her throat. It made her feel full after feeling so empty, like all of the life had been sucked out of her.

They stayed silent for a moment while she finished the last of the water, until she finally took a breath and spoke up.

“Okay. Spencer,” she stood across from him and looked him in the eyes; her normal ‘business-as-usual’ self coming back like a charm, “I am going to shower. In that shower, I am going to wash my face. Washing my face means the makeup is going to come off. The makeup covering the worst of the gory details. Do you understand me?”

He nodded.

“When I get out, I would prefer it if you were wrapped up in something else. After the fiasco that just happened, my god, I do not want you to see…this,” she gestured to her entire neck and face, “please be preoccupied. I am begging you.”

He was hesitant to agree. He had a conflict going on inside of him. On one hand, he wanted to see what that bastard really did to her, what extent he went to. On the other…he didn’t want to see her torn apart and beaten with such scrutiny. He didn’t want to see any of it. He wanted to see all of it.

“Okay. I’ll just go to bed. If you need me, wake me up. I won’t mind.”

“Okay,” and with that, she went into the bathroom.

It was probably the best and the worst shower of her entire life. The best because the shower after a panic attack is always incredible and the worst because the shower after a panic attack is always like coming down after a high.

That is, literally, what it is, in a way. She had shattered in that bedroom and Spencer, dear as he was, picked up the pieces, but she had to mend herself.

The tears never fell, they usually don’t. She let the warmth (some might even say scalding hot heat) engulf her. She had to feel like she was in a sauna and a hot spring simultaneously to have the prime shower experience, panic attack notwithstanding, this was a daily need. She let it run over her face, clearing her mind of the headache she felt coming on. She breathed some more and she rubbed her face before finally scrubbing the awful events of that morning off of her. Normally, she showered quickly, but after that she needed to take her time with herself. Instead of quickly going through the motions, she made sure every strand of hair was coated in shampoo and every inch of her body was lathered in body wash and given the same love and care at the end as she gave herself at the beginning. She kept her eyes closed. She kept breathing. Trying to think about nothing. She had a passing thought of Roy and how he used to bathe her when she was little and how she’d come home extremely intoxicated at six in the morning on a day during her undergrad program and he washed her face for her. She remembered, she smiled, she let it go. She took a few more deep breaths and finally got out of the shower. She felt so good, so clean, so calm, so peaceful. And then she saw her face again.

It had gotten worse, as bruises usually do. The cuts were healing fine, thanks to the butterfly bandages, but the bruises. Her cheek and eye were swollen where he’d socked her twice with his ring. Oh well. There was nothing to be done about it besides wait. She took an anti-inflammatory for the swelling, her insomnia medication, brushed her teeth, and turned the light off before exiting the bathroom.

Her bed was closer to the bathroom, thank god. She turned down the covers to get into bed when she heard Spencer rustle and she froze.

He heard her stop moving, so he felt the need to reassure her, “I was just putting my book on the table, I’m not facing your direction.”

“Oh. Okay…” she continued getting into the bed, making sure to face away from him.

They both settled into bed. Him staring at the ceiling, her putting her headphones in (dangerous, she knew that, but even with her medication, she couldn’t sleep without noise), but before she started the music, she had one last thing to say.

“Spencer,” she whispered.

“Claudia.”

“Thank you.”

He didn’t need any clarification. In fact, he didn’t even need a thank you, he felt it was an honor and a privilege to help someone so steadfast and sure of themselves. She trusted him to see her like that. He felt like he should be thanking her, but instead, he settled for:

“You would’ve done the same for me.”

[outivv]

Hi, can i ask for scenario/headcanons with dormleaders in which reader is feeling suicidal and just comes to them with seemingly tired/gloomy face and asks "would you take care of Grim if I'd die?" (if your request are still open and you're ok with the topic) also pls do it with comfort/fluff ending my broken heart needs it

Also sorry (and feel free too ignore me I would totally understand) if your request are closed and/or you're not ok with topic.

Here's the pic of my cat to brighten your day.

Synopsis: suicidal reader asks dorm leaders to take care of grim if anything happens to them

Warnings: heavy heavy talk of death/ suicide/ reader coming to any harm, if this triggers you please sit this post out, I want everyone to stay safe >:( (also this isn’t proofread but that’s less important than people’s mental/ physical safety)

Characters: dorm leaders

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello! Your cat is so adorable oh my god. Genuinely they look so fluffy and pretty :’). Also I am very very sorry that this took me so long to get to, but I hope you enjoy, and take care of yourself!!

— Riddle —

The moment you approach him he knows somethings wrong. Riddle isn’t very good with emotions, or social cues, but even he knows somethings up.

And he absolutely panics when you say “if anything ever happens to me, make sure grim is taken care of” he doesn’t show any signs of panic, because he has to stay calm so then you’ll stay calm, and/ or won’t get overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry [name] I don’t know what you mean?” He says, looking directly into your eyes. You can see the panic rising in his face, even if he’s trying his hardest not to show it. You repeat yourself, telling him again “if I die, or get hurt, or anything. Take care of grim.” Your voice stern now. Riddle sighs, not knowing what to do in this situation, and does what he can, leading you over to a couch to talk.

Instantly sits you down to talk, whether that’s you venting, or him trying to understand the situation better, or both, doesn’t matter, because it is a discussion you will absolutely have.

I think no matter the situation riddle will keep a close eye on you. Actively seeking you out at all hours of the day, and making sure you’re taken care of. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you because he deeply cares about you (especially if you’re considering yourself to be MC, then he very very much admires you)

— Leona —

Instantly no. Leona’s approach to this situation isn’t great, and I will absolutely say that, but it’s then best he knows because this is a hard subject for him.

“What?” Leona snarls. “I said, if… you know, something happens, would you please take care of grim?” Your focus on the ground now. “No.” Leona said, his brows furrowed, staring at you. “Please, I just want to make sure grim is safe, and I trust you the most.” Leona sits up fully now, the bed beneath you shifting to accommodate the movement. You often have pillow talks like these, Leona always pretends to be asleep but never actually is. “Nothing is, and will never happen to you.” Leona grabs your hand, and kisses the back of it.

Kinda is the tough love/ affection type of person, aka the type to say “I will murder you if you die”, and will make sure you know that nothing will ever happen to you around him.

Tried to make a routine with you, and take care of himself, and you much better. He starts skipping class less, keeping his room clean, makes sure he’s organized, all so then you’ll start doing the same, and feel better about yourself and your environment, which then would better your mood. (Idk if this makes sense, but basically he’s trying to take care of you, and make you happier by doing small things)

— Azul —

At first is like “yeah I’ll take care of grim, he’ll be the happiest cat in the world- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU’????”

I think he’s kinda frozen when you walk in super gloomy already, let alone when you ask him to take care of grim if any harm comes to you. He does not know what to do in this scenario, and will very much just kinda blank for a minute, before turning very serious.

“[name]. Is someone threatening to harm you?” He says his attention turning to you, and away from his work, “because we will take care of them, if you wish.” His tone was sweet, but you knew his words held malice in them. “No… nothing like that I just… I don’t know” now what you were talking about hits him like a bus.

Once he really understands what you mean, he will reassure you in any way possible, that you aren’t going anywhere, except for home when Crowley find a way for that to happen.

I think that even jade and Floyd would get involved in some way to reassure, and comfort you, but azul would try to keep them out of it for the most part cause he knows how overwhelming they can be.

Azul understands what you feel, cause he’s felt it first hand, and I think he’d do his best to make you feel appreciated, and enjoy things, even if sometimes he’s a bit shy about it lmao

— Kalim —

Does understand the gravity of the situation. He realizes and notices that it’s serious, and that you’re upset by it, but doesn’t truly understand what you mean, by “if something happens to you” and what the something would be.

“[name] what do you mean?? Are you ok?? Is someone after you?? Do we need to take care of them??” Kalim asks question after question. It becomes overwhelming easily, but kalim as a whole can be overwhelming. “No no- I just…” you sigh, “if I were to die, for… whatever reason, please… take care of grim. Keep him safe.” He still doesn’t know what you mean, but he now understands how serious it is.

I don’t think anyone tells him what exactly you mean, because for him ignorance is bliss, but he’ll eventually figure it out in his own, and when he does he is mad. You’ve never seen him so mad. And he’s mad, because you didn’t tell him for so long (however long he didn’t figure it out for), and he is so scared, and so upset.

I think he’s very emotional, and very physically affectionate, and very much just clingy. Which, depending on who you are could be a good or bad thing.

— Vil —

Very much can pick up on body language, and emotions, and he instantly knows what’s up when you walk towards him with a very gloomy aura around you. And instantly comforts you, cause he knows what’s up almost instantly. You quite literally didn’t even have to say anything and he just “so why are you suicidal.”

Comforts you in every way imaginable, vil knows exactly what you need, and when you need it too, he’s very very attentive already, and now that he knows somethings wrong, he’s gonna pay extra close attention.

There’s not much to vil for this one, cause I do think that he’d just know what’s up immediately, and start trying to help you in every way he can.

— Idia —

Idia is bad with basic human emotions, he definitely does not know what to do in this situation and it really makes him anxious. Not the topic itself, but the fact that he wants to do something, but doesn’t know what.

“Please take care of grim if anything happens.” You ask, your voice laced with sadness. Idia pauses his game, and turns his attention completely to you saying, “Oh… why? Is… are you ok?” Idia is already panicking, what does he do if you’re in trouble? He’s no match against some mid level boss fights, how’s he supposed to fight someone?! “Im just… I don’t know what’s gonna happen… and stuff… and if I go home then… where’s grim gonna go?” Now he gets it… he thinks.

I think Idia is kinda in the same boat as kalim, he doesn’t fully understand the gravity of the situation, until he figured out that you really were suicidal. He tries his best to give you more of his attention, and look after you a bit.

Probably has ortho check in on you a lot throughout the day, he just wants to know that you’re ok. If it makes you uncomfortable though he’ll tell ortho to stop.

— Malleus —

He’s like azul And kalim mixed?? Like he’s a little unaware, but he understands that there’s some seriousness to the situation. He instantly is like “who is it that’s threatening you. I will actually tear apart the whole world for you, child of man.”

I think you outright have to tell malleus that you are feeling suicidal, or else he’ll keep freaking out internally. And when you do tell him, he just “what.” Because he’s very very concerned :’). Will not let you leave his sight for the next three weeks. He’s so protective of you, be will do anything to make sure you’re safe.

Constantly comforts you and tells you how much he cherishes you, and he just wants to make sure you’re ok :’)

[sagekiosk]

love me like how you used to.

Kalim x Reader — Angst — Romantic — TWST

I’ve been itching for some Kalim x Reader Angst, and I couldn’t find anything that could suffice so I just thought that I’d make it myself. This could probably be seen as Yandere, or not, depends on you.

TW: Grammatical Errors, Typos probably, owie my heart angst. Some stuff probably don’t make sense, Didnt proofread. Squint real hard and you’ll probably see some Silver x Reader, OOC probably sorry huhu. Kalims one sided rivalry with silver. Kalim probably being an ass??

once again, characters might be OOC.. so please don’t attack me for this.

“I love you.” the words slipped out of your mouth, something that you’ve been wanting to say for such a long time. How could you not say it though? The setting was perfect, just you and Kalim in Ramshackle sitting on the stairway entrance looking up at the skies. You so sure that Kalim felt the same way too, you calculated everything.

Kalim sat up and you followed, his eyes staring at you wide in shock. It’s almost as if he was speechless. Maybe he felt the same way? Maybe he was waiting for this moment just like you did? You sure hope so..

So why did his expression turn from happy to discomfort? Why were his eyebrows arched? Why did his smile falter when you said so? You could feel your stomach churning. Maybe it was a mistake— no, no you’re sure that he feels the same way!

All of those times where you comforted him, helped him through his struggles when Jamil couldn’t be there. And all of the hang outs you both did to release some stress. He gifted you so many things too! You constantly put so much effort into being what he wanted you to be. Kalim narrowed his gaze managing to keep up a slight grin to make the situation less awkward than it is already.

“I-I’m sorry.. I don’t feel the same way.”

he stammered out, shattering your heart into millions of pieces. Kalim only saw you as a close friend, nothing more. You blink back the tears forming in your eyes.

“We can still stay as friends! Don’t worry, I’ll just forget about all of this if it makes you feel better—“ he tried to reassure you putting his hand on your shoulder looking at your saddened expression. He feels guilty, he feels horrible.

you shook your head chuckling awkwardly. “It’s fine, I understand.. I would just like some space.” Pushing his hand away you stand up slowly. “You should get going Jamil is probably looking for you.”

the tears were threatening to fall down your cheeks, but you hold them back as you didn’t wanna look weak. Kalim wanted to protest- but he didn’t. He only nodded getting up going back to Scarabia.

You didn’t even try to watch him walk away, you walked into your dorm closing the door. Slamming it slightly, and you immediately let everything out. You leaned onto the door burying your face into your palms.

It hurts, your heart hurts so much. You feel so stupid so dumb, of course Kalim wouldn’t like you! He’s from a family of royals- you’re just a nobody from another world, he treats you the same way he treats everyone.

You were just a friend, nothing more nothing less. Why did you believe that he liked you back!? You feel so heartbroken, you feel like ur an idiot. You’re nothing special.

the rest of ur days were spent being comforted by grim and adeuce feeling absolutely tired. You tried to stay motivated with school, and stuff, but for some reason you just couldn’t let go. Being rejected sucks real bad.

Of course nobody knew except your close friends, the professors noticed you’re feeling a bit down so they lessened the strictness and work for you. And you haven’t seen Kalim in a while, you guess it’s because of Jamil.

Mentally thanking Jamil, since you couldn’t handle seeing the person who just rejected you and needing some space. It didn’t stop the gifts appearing on ur doorstep though. You didn’t want anything that could remind you of Kalim at the moment so you always leave them be till they disappear.

it’s not like you hated Kalim, no, you just needed some time to yourself. Kalim was the one person in NRC who was genuinely kind, first meeting he didn’t look down on you or saw you weak. He treated you kindly, and wasn’t snobby. He was like a fresh breath of air!

Maybe you shouldn’t have fallen for him, he was doing the bare minimum after all. He was just being kind.. You feel stupid for letting your feelings take over. All in all you just feel like a big dumb dumb.

You just wished he wasn’t so nice, huffing to yourself not paying any mind to your surroundings you accidentally tripped on something.. wait, no, someone? Looking down you see a boy with silver hair, a peaceful expression on his face. He’s wearing green and black so you assume he’s from that Diasomnia. His silver hair reminded you of Kalim a bit making your mood tank.

Suddenly you felt a stinging sensation from your knee, you look over to see that your skin got scratched from the concrete. You winced and tried to stand up to try and get to the infirmary— but instead you tumble and fall again but this time you were caught.

You looked up to see the boy you tripped on holding you with a worried look on his face. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asked. You were stunned, gosh he looks gorgeous— I mean what?

You were too busy admiring his face that you forgot to answer. He tilted his head to the side looking even more concerned. “Yes! Yep, I’m fine, sorry..” you chuckled awkwardly standing up properly.

“Are you sure? Your knee..” he looked down to your knee, as blood was trailing down your leg. You looked down to see that your socks are stained with blood making you wince

“It’s just a scratch, I’ll get to the clinic..” looking back up at him he bummed and held your shoulder.

“Let me take you there, your knee is injured because of me after all.” He suggested, and it reminded you of Kalim making you feel like you’re gonna start crying again. The boy called out to you, making you snap out of ur thoughts shaking them away.

“Alright, thank you.. uhm, what’s your name?” You stammered. He introduced himself as silver and you introduced yourself to him too, and soon you both found yourself to be really close friends.

Slowly you forgot about Kalim, your feelings washing away. Spending more time with Silver, napping or just chilling in general. You found being around him quite relaxing and you’re glad that he found your company just as enjoyable.

Months passed, you and Kalim reconnected but this time as friends. You spent less time with him and more time around silver though

Kalim had mixed feelings about this, tossing and turning on his bed. He’s happy that you’re doing better! He loves seeing his friends smile! But he wished that you would spend more time with him like you both used to before. Seeing you spend your time with silver, made him a bit envious.

He tried so hard these past few months to make it up to you too! Sending gifts but you didn’t accept them, and he wanted to talk with you also- but Jamil didn’t allow him sadly.. but he let you be alone for a while.

But now that your back to being friends everything could go back to the same way it did!

But why do you barely pay attention to him? You don’t hate him right! No, he’s sure that you don’t. He wants to spend time with you just like how you both used to. Even if it’s just for a few minutes.. all you give him is a smile or nod

the only time you do talk to him is when it’s for school, and when he does try to make plans with you it seems that your already busy with silver!

He’s happy you’re doing better than before, he does really! He missed you so much, he missed the way you smile he way you laugh.. the way your hair flows when it’s windy. He missed when you combed his hair right when he wakes up. The way you would join him in his antics

he missed everything you both did together.. the way you would go on for about hours on your interests. He especially missed your voice. wait, isn’t this how people feel when they’re in love?

…

When the realization hits Kalim, it hits him like a double decker bus making him sit up in his bed. He.. loves you? No way.. Days go by after this realization, Kalim’s heart flutter every time he sees you. His face feels warm when he hears your laugh. He really loves seeing you happy, but seeing you laugh with silver by your side instead of him.. he feels.. jealous.

No way.. he really does love you.. haha! He loves you! It’s a nice feeling, it makes him feel warm and giddy whenever he thinks about you. Is this how you felt? But he rejected you.. so.. He feels bad now.

He’s now set on getting you back, you and silver are just friends right? He hopes so! It starts with him appearing more in your life. Oh! You need help with your homework? Don’t worry he’s here to help— you were planning on asking silver?.. okay.. but he can be some sort of help to you though! Right?

Obviously that doesn’t work, just makes him more jealous.. but doesn’t matter! He’ll try to swoon you with gifts! You always loved his gifts, right? He sends you gifts daily based off on what you like.

oh! you’ve been eyeing that one particular ring for some time now? don’t worry! Kalim bought ten of those for you!.. and.. you don’t want it?.. no? You already have it?

But how— oh. Silver already bought one for you? Doesn’t matter! Just take what he bought for you!..

okay.. so that doesn’t work either! Doesn’t matter! He’ll host parties in your name, oh! Your coming? Great! And when you get there he sees you!.. with silver..

Kalim couldn’t take it anymore. He grabs your hand and drags you to a different room, far away from everyone else— far from the party.

“Kalim? Is something wrong?” you asked looking at the boy who was facing the ground. You tried to pull your hand away from his but his grip on you is tight.

“Kalim, please let me go.” you pleaded trying to pull your hand away once more, but failed. Kalim looks up at you with tears forming in his eyes

“I’m- hic sorry..” he sobbed squeezing your hand. You stared at him in shock, what was he apologizing for?

“Kalim whats wrong?” You furrowed your eyebrows pulling him into a gentle hug. He reluctantly hugs you back, starting to sob into your shoulder.

”I miss you, I miss you so much— I miss when you would hang out with me, I miss when you would laugh and smile just because of me— I miss everything of you.”

this leaves you in shock, you just stood still. Is he really doing this to you? When everything was going so great in your life? When you finally moved on-

“Please! Just please, treat me the same way as before..” he pulled away looking at you right in the eyes. You could see tears running down his cheeks his eyes red, your mouth went agape. At first you didn’t know what to say— but after a few moments of silence you knew what to say.

“Kalim I’ve moved on, I’m sor-“ you were cut off by Kalims hand covering your mouth

“I- I don’t understand..” He sobbed. “Why.. why can’t you just love me like how you used to?”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

and that’s a wrap! I was bored and the ending was lowkey rushed, I swear this was so much better in my head- thanks for reading this far. This was a shitty fic 😭 it’s my first official one too, oh btw if anyone has any asks, ask way 👀

[robberskisses]

The boy next door pt 2

Part one

cw: matty healy x reader, mentions of drinking, smut.

note: idk how I wrote so much for just one tiny part, not proofread as I want to get these parts posted and I’m tired :,)

As your alarm clock rings, wind gushes your hair into your face, reaching to move it out of the way you start batting your eyelids, as you suddenly remember everything. You spin your head to face the other way. He isn’t there. Just the window wide open, making your room all cold and you start to feel frustrated. You knew your imagination could run wild, but this? He had to have been here last night. You know it was real, you felt it. You spring up feeling deaf with silence, taking a glance out of the window; Matty’s window was closed along with his curtains too. In this state you had no other choice but to get ready, and you did quickly.

Creeping downstairs once again, you grab to trail your bike out when you decide to quickly take a peek if Matty has left yet, you know the part where he brought you home wasn’t a dream, and he did say he felt bad about you riding to school. Surely if he had slept in your bed he would remember the offer on at least one day. Peeking through the shutters of the window you feel a sense of relief. Leaning onto his van, smoking a fag, he stood right infront of your house.

“Hey” you say stepping out of your door, in your best efforts to sound chill about what could or could not have happened. He looks up abruptly from his cig he was attempting to relight, “y/n im so sorry” he motions his hands out towards you, “leaving your window open, I had no way to close it when I climbed back through this morning, I”. So it was real. The boy next door had stayed over, told you that you were beautiful, and the worst part is you were the one to kiss him. But maybe the best part was how calm he was about it all, how he only cared about leaving the window open.

“That’s okay,I didn’t even notice”, you lie, “the temperature isn’t all too bad out here in spring” you add as you walk to the van door. He lets out a sigh of relief whilst trying to take an extra step forward to open the door for you, “I was scared about you getting cold or sick that’s all”. You hide the way your blushing by looking out of the window when he gets in. “Your words got to me” you look his way, “I’d really like to come tonight, if that’s okay with you”. “That’s cool” he responds with a smile. Something in your heart hurts a little when this was such a big thing to you, part of you hoped you weren’t just another one of his side hookups, and the moment you got to school he would just go quiet on you.

Feeling nervous as the pair of you arrive at school, you peer over at him wondering if he wants you to get out first and clear off before he gets out. “What?” He glares back at you. “Have I got something on my face” he says whilst going up to grab the font mirror, smushing his lips around to check his teeth. “No sorry, no I was just wondering if we were getting out” you interrupt his face scan. Looking your way with a sense of relief he rolls his eyes sarcastically, “ahhh are you getting used to me opening so many doors for you, wait a minute i’l be around in a sec princess”, he laughs, you do too, feeling the usual flush you do around him. Hurrying around and opening the door for you, hopping out you look around for the girls you made friends with yesterday. “Leaving me so soon?” Matty says whilst getting a pack out of his bag. “Well I can’t exactly waltz into the boys school can I?” You respond. “You wouldn’t pretend to be a boy just to spend more time with me, hmm maybe we aren’t as good of neighbours as I thought we were” he says sarcastically, patting the top of your hair lightly, “See ya later”. “Bye matty” you reply. Should I tell them everything or should I keep quiet, you think to yourself, whilst you want to tell your new friends every last detail and reminisce out loud on what had just happened last night, you are also aware of two things. Firstly, they all are obsessed with him, and you don’t want to loose your first group of friends through jealousy or coming across as a slut. You are aware of how dramatic you sound, and second, yesterday you spent the entire day rattling off how much you hated him, you are going to sound crazy.

You spot the girls sitting on the steps that enter the girls school as they sip on their morning milk. “Umm did we just see you get out of you know who’s car” Lacey says questioning you, the group of them all peer your way like knives. “I did, it was so weird he just randomly offered a lift, we basically sat in silence like the whole time though” you respond. Meagan tilts her head in confusing “Him offering a lift.. unheard of, he must be in the best mood of his life”. You laugh nervously, “he did mention he has a gig tonight though, somewhere called volume bar?” You add trying to build your story. The girls begin to bustle excitedly, “y/n you better be joining us” Lacey says, “He probably picked you up to promote it” Liliya says giggling, “We usually hear about these things weeks in advance, must be last minute”. “Haha probably” you lie, “Il definitely be there though”.

Spending the next two hours planning your outfits, you learn how obsessed the teenage girl is with the teenage boy. Being isolated in your small town from them really held you back from an entire life of addiction. They assessed boys like assignments, knowing what they liked and what they didn’t, the patterns in their behaviour, how to impress them and get their attention. The one thing that confused you though, was how little they really knew about Matty. They grew up alongside him, yet viewed him as the cold hearted, rouge boy you thought of him to be, knowing him for a day. Strange, strange, strange you thought to yourself.

As the day grew closer to an end and the girls whispered to other classmates about the gig and helped you with what you should wear, Liliya suggesting you would apparently suit curled hair more than anything, the moment the boys came into mass, silence finally calms your ears. Finding his seat you see Matty, he ever so slightly smiles your way. “Did you see that y/n, did you actually just see that” Meagan says in a panicked tone. The girls all glance your way around you. “Yea I saw he just smiled at you” You lie. She starts going on how she knows he’s always had a thing for her. Being scared Matty was using you, and embarrassed of being around you, you have no idea why you are the one hiding whatever the pair of you have going on.

“Y/n you should totally ask Matty some questions about Meagan on the ride home. “Oh my god please you’d be the bestest friend ever if you did” she exclaims, hugging you. “Don’t make it too obvious though”. You nod wandering over to Matty’s van once again. For some reason, all of the girls talk about Matty today makes you more excited than you ever have been to see him, to spend time with him.

“Hey” you say as you arrive to them loading the vehicle up with instruments. “I don’t think there’s enough space in here for another person, your gonna have to rely on a ride home from George I’m afraid” Matty tells you trying to roll a drum in. You glance at his friend George, half smiling. “Hi” he says more out of it than you’ve ever seen a person. “If it’s too much trouble I can just walk, it’s okay” you say trying to avoid an awkward fifteen minutes. He turns around proudly after successfully getting the final piece of kit in, “don’t worry he’s going the same way”. “Don’t worry il still be able to get you tonight, and open the door for you” he winks. You giggle at home whilst trying to stay cool in-front of the band you’d heard so much about, “Just please don’t make it too obvious your there to pick me up” you whisper to Matty before stepping over to George’s car. Getting in at least it isn’t just you in the car, two other boys sit in the back flicking through sheets of paper, discussing which songs they should play tonight. Music you’d never heard on is quietly coming from the radio, that seemed broken as every few beats would have a scratching noise.“So friends with Matty then” George asks while tapping the ash from the bottom of his fag out of the window. “Uhh yeah.. he’s my neighbour didn’t he mention” you reply to him. “That boys got a million things going on” George says. You don’t reply at the puzzle his answer gives you. You pray it doesn’t really mean that boy brings home a new girl every weekend, so many even his best friend can’t keep up.

Arriving at home, you rehearse the lie you’d been coming up with the whole way home one final time in your head. Your new friend Liliya has invited you over for a meal and board games with her family, as their grandparents and cousins are coming over. You could get a lift both there and back and you’d be home around 11pm. Seems innocent enough and equally as important. “No!” Your parents say in unison. “What, what do you mean no?” You say frantically, beginning to get stressed. “Now that’s just silly waltzing in on a family’s special night” your mother says, “come on you can’t say that she says her friends always come around for those meals, you don’t want me to be left out do you” you add to her stupidity. “That’s the thing, we don’t know any of them, go next time when we get a chance to meet all of these people” your father tells you demandingly. “Come o-“ you get interrupted, “now I don’t know where you’ve learned that tone from but if you think that’s getting you anywhere you aren’t so bright” your mother says sternly, almost shewing you away.

Slamming the door of your room you don’t feel as life is fair, how is it that you’ve spent the first seventeen years of your life trapped from what real girlhood is like, and boys, and music, and a chance at living for something more than religion and family. You stress at how much this means to you. An idea spawns, scanning the room for something heavy, but not glass breaking heavy you pick up a little white ping pong ball. Quickly getting ready and curling your hair, just like you had been advised to. You slip into your black mini shirt and a denim skirt you had loaned from your cousin last year when you went on vacation with them. Putting on slightly more makeup than usual you swing the window open, throwing the little ball at Matty’s, praying that he was in there. To your delight his window opens, “I was just about to go outside to wait for you” he spectates. “Matty quiet down, please” you say, he tilts his head in slight confusion. “I made up a silly little lie and they wouldn’t even let me go out for that” you tell him. “Oh.. right we” you cut him off, still whispering, “The ladders, let me sneak through please”. His face brightens like you had just invented the cure for everything. Placing the silver ladders between your rooms he grabs on tightly, “careful, please”, you begin to climb up. “Tell me your going to be careful y/n”, you look up abruptly, he’d never used that tone with you, “okay, il be careful Matty”. Carefully crawling between rooms, Matty grabs onto your waist when you are closest to him, carrying you into his room. You both do that thing again, the not so awkward stare. You notice in all of that brown, there’s a little golden yellowy colour in his eyes, so hidden you’d have to go so close to see it. “Almost give me a heart attack there” he softly laughs. “Oh so it’s okay for you to do that but not me”, you speak in the same quiet tone, burrowing one of your brows. Looking down at you still he’s quiet too, “you know that’s not what I meant”. “MATTY!” George screams. “Hurry up NOW”. “Ups I forgot I had people waiting”, Matty awkwardly pulls a face. Hurrying downstairs you pinch the bottom of your skirt making sure it stays in place. “What I thought you were his neighbour not his roommate” George says in a misty tone. Matty pushes his cap into his face, blinding him as he collapses into a wall. “Im not waiting any longer” the mousy hair one adds, going through the front door. “That’s Adam, and behind me’s Ross” Matty tells you, “I doubt they had the courtesy or social awareness to introduce themselves” Matty says shaking his head at Ross. “Hi, Hello” you say to each of them spinning your head around to the back seats. The pair of them shooting tiny waves. “How’s it fair the three of us are squeezed back here” Ross says looking at Matty. “It’s called kindness and decency Ross” he responds, “and since when did you ever posses either of those traits” Ross says while they all laugh.

Arriving at the bar, you see your friends waiting outside, you wave at them slowly pausing as you see their faces drop. You walk over with the boys trailing behind. The girls all greet them, telling Matty how excited they are to see them play. Matty tells them that they need to go get things ready, and they go inside. “Vip entrance much” Lacey says. “Right, like where was my invite to pull up with the band” Megan adds. “Live next door to one of them, I guess” you try to sound unsuspicious. As the girls get drinks, you spot the boys coming out. Meagan grabs your hand and pushes through the small crowd opposite the barfront. The four of you find yourselves up front, despite the angry murmur from the girls around you. Standing tall above you Matty’s palm wraps around the mic, despite all your self talk about how much you knew him you didn’t even think about which role he had in the band. The singer. You felt selfish and mean for not taking more interest. “Hi, I’m Matty, this is the band, we’re called drive like I do, and you better like our stuff”. Adam starts playing a low chord, and slowly everyone joins in. A few girls around you sing a few of the lyrics, the song was good but part of you was shocked they were as big to have people know their songs yet. “Slow down, yeah I want you” Matty sings softly into the mic, looking down at you with that same Matty smile on his face. “Yeah she’s doing it all the time” Matty finishes the song with George joining in loudly, everyone cheers for them. “That ones called You… or something” Matty backs up ready to play the next song.

Dancing with your friends, and admiring Matty’s music felt blissful. Drinking for the first time and being gifted a little silver cross necklace by your friend Liliya, because it would “suit you soooo well”, is what being a teenage girl is. Feeling happier than ever you and the girls cheer and clap in unison as the band wraps up, exiting the stage. After a little while the boys join you around the bar, “You drink?” Matty asks you, “Apparently now I do” you respond, “Il get you something if you like”, Matty says after asking for a vodka coke. You spot Meagan side eyeing Lacey. “That’s okay” you respond. Looking down at George’s watch as his arm is spewed across the bar counter, you spot the time. You start to get nervous as it’s getting late, and in the chances that your parents did catch you, you could at least be home for curfew. Watching Matty finish his drink you whisper in his ear, “Do you know when we are leaving, I’m getting a little nervous and I”, “Well I’m gonna call it a night” Matty announces to the group. “So soon?” Both George and Meagan say, as George turns around and pulls a face at her, as if he said it first. “Sorry lads, promised the family I’d be home early” Matty responds, George clearly not buying it speaks “and since when do you follow”, being cut off by Matty shushing his lips. You wave goodbye to your friends and Liliya gives you a hug. Matty makes you wait at the door for a second, “just need to get the van from around back, don’t go anywhere, I mean it don’t leave”. The sweet unseen side of Matty was everything to you, but the protective, sort of controlling part to him, something you’d never felt by anyone close to you, was the cherry on top. Tonight, something felt different.

[jseobsky]

Mr. smiles. 

Pairing !: dancer!Sumin x dancer, barista, gn!Yn

Synopsis !: You had the biggest crush on a regular at the café you work at. Until one day, he stopped coming.

Genre !: Fluff, romance

Warnings !: swearing, haven’t proofread anything-

Requested by !: @xddjoong

Wc !: 1.8k

 a/n !: hope you enjoy it <333

Main masterlist <3

Life was as good as it was. I mean life is good. Life is good when I get to dance, life is good when I talk with my friends, and life is good when I can drink my favourite drink while I wait for customers to arrive. However, life is definitely good when I get to see him. Every day, like a clock, at 5:23 pm, a certain person comes to our coffee shop. He smells like vanilla, which makes sense given the amount of vanilla he adds to his coffee… Which, for a black coffee, should be about 0 instead of the usual extra 2 teaspoons. His smile lights up the entire room, and his eyes sparkle when he comes with his friends sometimes. His voice sounds so angelic that even angels themselve- 

“Yn!” I look away from a big window. “What, Yunho?” I’ve been working with Yunho ever since I got the job about two years ago. “You were spaced out. And if one more person gets inside the shop because you were staring at them for too long, I’m going to fire you” Oh true, he is the manager. “Sorry, what time is it?” “A quarter past five” “Shouldn’t you go away? Your shift ended 15 minutes ago, and I know how badly you want to get back home to watch your show with your boyf-” Yunho glares at me. “Your so-called bestie” He looks away, cleaning the countertop. “I’m sorry, I’m just saying that after three years of flirting here and there you would expect some action happening, or something yk?” He rolls his eyes at my words. “I’m covering Lia’s shift, she has an important thing to attend to” I follow Yunho around, cleaning the things he already cleaned. “She’s probably fuc” Ding ding. “Go back to work” I nod at him.

Walking back to the register I see the person I’ve been waiting for, I check my watch: 5:21 pm. He’s early today. I smile. Stfu you simp. I drag a hand in front of my face acting as if I was wiping my smile off. Once I see him standing in front of the register looking at the menu as if he didn’t always order the same thing over and over again, I can’t help but smile again. “Hi, how may I help you today?” My voice sounds dreamy like, totally not stressing out over the fact that the Choi Sumin was standing in front of me again. 

Sumin and I go to the same dance academy, and although we don’t see each other much I always am on the lookout for him. We never really talked until one day he came to the coffee shop. I was tired, and when I saw a group of 10 people coming in I wondered if the universe had something against me. However, one of them specifically was really sweet, he gathered all the orders, made sure they weren’t making too much noise, and at the end, he stayed behind, piled everything the best way he could, and cleaned some of the spillings with napkins. It was customer love at first glance. 

“My usual please” He smiled brightly at me. “To go or to drink here?” “To drink here please” Fuck yeah. Shit, professionalism. “It will be out soon” I ended the conversation with a smile, getting ready to make his coffee as he went to sit down on his usual table, his gaze never leaving my body. “Yn, the delivery is here, can you take care of it? I’ll do the orders” Yunho asked me. “Yeah sure!!” I smiled, knowing that even after being out for a while, Sumin will still be here. I went to take care of the new delivery. However, when I came back to the register after I was done, the shop now had three customers, but none of them was Sumin. 

I never saw Sumin again at the café, I mean for the week that he hadn’t been coming. It was hard, it was even harder the fact that he would ignore me like the plague when we crossed paths at the academy. 

“Okay, that’s it for today’s class, good job.” My dance teacher says to my group. I am tired, dancing non-stop for the past three hours was fun, but it left my body feeling a burning sensation, mostly when all my energy was going into making every move feel like a thousand moves energy-wise because of how I was feeling. “Yn, stay for a bit please” I stop walking and turn around to face my teacher once again. I nod at them and get closer. “There’s a new upcoming competition soon and I was asked to pick the contestants. I know you’re doing a lot of stuff right now, but I do think you would be the perfect fit for it” I smiled while still breathing hard. “Does this mean more hours of dancing in a day or am I switching some classes?” “Both actually, Monday’s class is going to be switched from freestyle to this competition. And we’re looking to see if both you and your partner are available to work on the dance Thursdays after class” I nod. Maybe if I ask to get to work at 5 instead of at 4. “I think I could make it, but I can’t stay longer than 5 pm” “What a coincidence!” I look at my teacher confused. “Your partner said the same thing. Then it’s arranged, practice starts tomorrow at three after class. See you then” “Wait, who’s my partner?” “Oh true, you might not know him, you never had a class together. But his name is Choi Sumin” Oh god… 

Thursday couldn’t come faster. All I wanted was for time to stop and for 3 pm to never come. How would I face him? I stare at the closed door of the dance studio I was going in. Fuck, not only I’m tired from my other classes, but now I have to face my worst nightmares, why universe? Why? “Um, excuse me, are you going in?” I turn around to find Sumin, way closer than he should be. I get nervous, my stomach now doing backflips. “Yeah sorry” I turn around again and open the door as fast as I can. Sumin enters the room after me, he is wearing a black hoodie with matching black pants, and a half-open bag hanging on one of his shoulders. His hair is wet, probably from him dancing for the past hours just as I was. He walks with uncertainty, his pace being slow while his head looked around the room, never looking at me. Should I talk to him? “Um, my name is Yn, nice to meet you” Yeah with that quiet voice you ain’t going anywhere. I do the motion of tucking my hair behind my ears, and I smile as awkwardly as I can. “Yeah, the teacher told me so...” Sumin said while taking out a water bottle from his bag. I tried to hold my laugh. It had a peach sticker stuck on the bottle that said “Shake your butt” He looked at me and I straightened my posture. “You’re the café barista right?” “Yeah.” He nodded his head slowly. “right…” 

Our first dance class went better than expected. The teacher was right, I was a good fit for the song. Although the dancing style needed more closeness with a partner than what I was used to, the song was just perfect. Perfectly a pain in the ass. Why did I have to be so close to Sumin? Why did sparkle go through my body when we first touched each other? Yet I gotta say, that for me expecting to fall on the floor Sumin cursing me out and telling me that he never wants to talk to me ever again, it went well. “And five, six, seven, eight. And. Snap cross, wave in, turn around, and fall, boom boom.” Our teacher counted as we moved, lost in thought at the end. “I’m going to look for some heels, I’ll be right back, take a short break” We nodded and went to sit down on a different end of the mirror. “You know” Sumin started talking. “You dance really good” what. “Thank you” I smile a bit. “You too” “I actually have been seeing you dance for a while now, I really love your expression style” Say what. “Thank you” He sighed. “I just want to say this so it doesn’t get in the way of our dance.” He took a deep breath before continuing. I looked at him confused, my head tilting to the side. “I actually started coming into the café you work at in hopes of seeing you more, maybe starting a conversation, maybe getting your number. But I was always too nervous to approach you. I figured out I should finally leave you my number. So I gave it to your coworke- actually let me rephrase that, I gave my number to your boyfriend. I’m sorry, I know he probably told you about it and I know you probably feel uncomfortable. So I just want to say that I’m sorry again” SAY WHAT?! “Um. Well. I. I don’t know what. I” Sumin nodded. “Don’t worry, I can ask to get switched out, I understand. “Wait no!” He looked at me briefly before going back to look at the floor. “I’m flattered, how could you make me uncomfortable?! I loved seeing you every day at the café. And like I also love how you dance and I love to be here. And I would love to get your number” I blushed. “What about your boyfriend?” “What boyfriend?” I frowned. He looked up at me and also frowned. “The one that world with you? The tall one? I think on his name tag it said something like Juno, Junho, Yunjo” “That fucking bitch.” “What?” His eyes widened as I look mad. I scoffed. “That’s my coworker. I don’t have a boyfriend, he even is dating his friend. Why would he even do that.” I looked up trying to find an answer. “Then go out with me” My head snaps back at Sumin, he had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on him, and that’s saying a lot. I also let myself smile. 

Life is as good as life is. I mean life is good. Life is good when I dance, life is good when I win dance competitions, life is good when I hit Yunho because he thought Sumin was a perv asking for my number, and life is good when I get to talk with my friends. But life is especially good when I see him, mostly now that we’re officially dating, and now that he is back at coming to my shop every day.

[streets-in-paradise]

Anonymous Hero - Hector of Troy x (Fem)Warrior!Reader (requested)

Troy (2004) Oneshot 

Requested by @g-m-kaye​ 

“ (...) If you’re still taking fic requests for TROY (?) I’d be super duper excited if you’d write an AU fic for Hector x reader character where Hector, instead of being married to Andromache, falls for a slender Trojan warrior who has his back in the first melee… but unexpectedly turns out to be a woman when Hector demands the warrior remove his helmet & reveal “his” identity 👀 (I’ve always loved the “girl masquerading as boy” trope - ever since Shakespeare!) … and pls do make it as steamy as you like!! Lol (...)” 

Hope you will like this, darling! I loved writing it. 

Word Count 2.5 K 

Warnings: Hector going through a Li Shang bi panic, Single Hector AU ( sorry, Andromache. You are great, but we love your man). Very few proofreading ( it’s almost 3 AM and i’m tired, but wanted to get it posted)

Summary: In the heat of battle during the arrival of the greeks Hector ends up  greatly impressed by the courageous response of a singular soldier, but this stranger refuses to claim ríghts on the feat. Feeling even more intrigued about him afterwards, the prince is determined to find him in full unawareness of how the peculiar fighter has quite a few more surprises to give.  

Tags: @mysticaldeanvoidhorse @helie-brain @rfkfan​

The sound of the bell brought the expected news nobody wanted to hear. Greek veils in the horizon, a thousand ships about to reach trojan shore, giving the impression that Agamemnon had emptied the continent to avenge the insulted honor of his brother. As the city observed the spectacle with horror, heralds were calling all the available men to fight in what would be the first defense in a crushing war. The disastrous numerical difference forced desperate measures and the army commanded by Prince Hector needed to engross its lines somehow. For so, many soldiers who weren’t in optimal conditions were needed: young lads stepping into combat too soon and old men following the example of Glaucus. 

Fillment additions, men that were there for numbers but weren’t warriors in the heroic sense of the term. They had very little possibilities of success against the myrmidons, fearless and bloodthirst beasts that were presenting a hard challenge to the Apollonian Guard even before the landing of Ajax. If some of the best in Troy were suffering because of them, arming that sacrificial reserve sounded like pointless cruelty. Those men were doomed to be nothing more than fresh meat to engross the downs of Achilles and Ajax, easily removable obstacles slowing down their encounter with more qualified enemies. No one would have expected much of them, at least until one proved the assumptions of the strategists to be completely wrong. 

After Achilles performed miracles throwing a spear that killed Tecton from an impossible distance, doing so with a cocky bragger naturality, the elite warriors were completely discouraged. Even Hector experienced true horror for the first time in many years, sensibly affected by the death of the friend who had always got his back in the battlefield. Despite the myrmidons being implicitly warned to leave him for their leader, many tried to take that contextual advantage doing their shots in trying to take down the prince. Clearly, not everyone was willing to listen after being exhorted to fight through a hubris induced speech about reaching immortal glory. 

In that spirit-wrecking point of the battle, with a temple destroyed and priests slaughtered by an enemy that knew no limits, the disorganized crowd of elite warriors fleeing left a chance for the relegated men of Troy to shine. A small, slender soldier that could have made Ajax laugh if he would have faced him courageously assumed the role of Tecton protecting the prince in the chaos. Hector was equally moved and amazed by the man fighting beside him. He looked weaker than his brother, probably a young lad from that desperate aid reserve, yet he was fighting with the push of a man twice his size. He followed all the way through the carnage inside the temple and would have gone to the end of the line accompanying him to the encounter of Achilles, if Hector himself wouldn’t have commanded otherwise. The sacrificial devotion of that soldier felt personal beyond any measures, it left a mark on his memory that eclipsed the shocking first impression Achilles wanted to feel being causing him. 

Although relegated due to his fragile appearance, that nameless young man fought with the kind of honor the famous greek warlord lacked and Hector was finding a strange sense of hope in that. He also couldn’t help admiring some of his gracious movements at times, wondering if he could perhaps have been a disguise of the god defending his altar. That would have at least explained the most incredible aspect of the situation: his unexplainable attraction towards him. 

No details of the episode were referenced in the war council that night. Archeptolemus, his political rival in religious circles, would have used it against him and the prince was already very much irritated by his misuse of religion to discredit him. If the soft looking soldier was Apollo fighting beside him or just a regular mortal he had just fallen for, he would have to figure it out by himself. The hopeful reminder of him helped the prince tolerate the newest terrible choice of his brother. Although Paris promised an easy resolution meant to take place the next morning, he was walking to his death and he wasn’t ready to let him die. Unlike his mysterious new favorite, the youngest prince didn’t possess any dormant courage to be released in a critical situation. 

Paris needed to meet that man, either to exhort miraculous bravery in him or to make him desist from that purpose. It was the excuse that Hector invented to himself in his mildly desperate search for him. 

“ Troy is worth fighting for because even the simplest of our men can make a difference. “ He was saying to his men in formation during the motivational speech that morning.” Agamemnon brought to us a parade of famous heroes without any inside cohesion. He expects us to tremble upon him because his battalions are all commanded by one of those, but yesterday we learned a valuable lesson. Their army is weak where ours is stronger. They are glory seekers harangued by leaders who think like arrogant children, we are men fighting for our country. We don’t rely on the fame of our heroes, but in the strength of our hearts!”  

Ovations cutted him off for an instant, but he waited enough to continue and evaluated the reaction. 

“ Yesterday we lost a hero, a man I loved like a brother, but that loss didn’t paralyzed us.Someone else made his way reclaiming his spot beside me. Not a fighter in a chariot, not an apollonian, but a simple man. He performed heroic acts worthy of being sung, but disappeared without claiming any authorship for his feat. While greeks are too preoccupied with making history to care about each other, even the smallest trojan is already a hero.” 

Hector roamed the extension of the front lines on his horse,visually searching for the reaction revealing the man in question.  

“ We have humble anonymous heroes that double theirs in courage and worth, and I now command this man to show himself and reclaim the honors he deserves.” 

A tense silence followed the end of his speech, soldiers looking at their sides full with confusion searching for the one refusing such a high reward. 

“ It is an order.” Hector finally reminded them. “ In the name of the loyalty he displayed, I demand him to give one step ahead.” 

Suddenly, a slender figure emerged from the crowd and the prince got off his horse as he approached. His evident satisfaction made Paris hold a chuckle, especially because he noticed how his brother observed him. 

“ I want the army to be a witness of my gratitude. “ Hector explained to him once he was finally standing in front of him. Only a shorter distance separated them. “ In a battle won by men desperate for recognition, you saved my life asking nothing in return. You have won my admiration and sincere affection; Troy must remember your name.” 

The multitude started cheering until the honored fighter removed his helmet, surrendering himself to the pressure about knowing his identity. A sepulchral silence followed his movements, confusion spreading even further than before and the youngest prince was the only smiling face easy to spot. 

Hector discovered a beautiful woman staring back at him and never before he had found anyone so desirable.His lips slightly parted despite him trying to pretend he wasn’t observing her in complete awe. 

“ Do with me what you judge properly, my lord.” She fearlessly exclaimed. “ I surrender myself to you for disciplinary action.” 

He recognized her, a young maiden from a remarkable family of trojan aristocrats. Firstborn daughter and her only brother was fifteen years old. The boy was named Ilus, at least he remembered that, but he couldn’t remember much of her and it frustrated him. 

" I must assume you are here as a replacement for Ilus Peiroide. " He asked her in an affirmation. " A young boy, too young. His frame provided an easy hideout for you. " 

" He is my brother. " The lady replicated. " Is the king of Mycenae the only one who can fight for his brother? I would rather bring dishonor to my family than burying Ilus. " 

Her words resonated deeply with him. Not only his fondness of her kept increasing, Hector simply couldn't blame her. However, he had to act as a leader. 

" At least allow her to plead her case, i like her." Paris commented, doing his brother the favor of saying what he couldn't. " This is my war, one that is being fought over a woman I brought here. Wouldn't it be a blatant hypocrisy if we don't let  this girl speak?"

She smiled at him, only deviating her attention from Hector for a brief instant, to what Paris replied with a friendly wink. 

" You don't have much time, the greeks will arrive soon..." Hector pointed out. " Your brave acts are not being questioned, but you must make yourself accountable for your transgression. Not to me, but to our countrymen." 

The intense eye contact going on between them was loaded with a tension that didn't resemble a grudge of any kind.  

" Look at them and tell them why you did this. " 

" I listened to your speeches and felt the call deep inside, in my heart. " She provocatively replied, admitting reasons beyond the initial sympathetic motive palatable to their societal perceptions. " My prince, you harangue the men speaking about freedom, but the rules of war don't threaten theirs as heavily as they menace ours. Are we all going to pretend we don't know what happened to Princess Briseis just because the King can't stand the shame? A woman doesn't simply disappear or dies in war, she is taken by the winner. Women don't get the privilege of dying, we are the ones who will be reduced to slavery if the city falls. If Helen came here searching for her freedom to love... Why can't I defend my own freedom, and all my countrywomen? " 

Even the ones who had reason to present objections couldn't argue with that, the presence of Helen was a disruptive element for trojan society. Her existence there had proven to challenge the traditional conceptions for quite a few established institutions, marriage being the main in the list but not the only one.   

" If this ends in battle, you have one more chance to prove your value to the city. Only one, and i am granting it to you in honor of the great service you performed for me yesterday." Hector warned her. " Consider my debt paid with this indulgence. " 

She smiled and that time it was for him. Hector had to pretend coldness, but he would have done anything to see that again. 

" I will not disappoint you, my prince. If you pick me, I will follow you to the gates of Tartarus. " 

His pulse accelerated hearing that, making him feel the improper effect that the woman had on him.

The promise turned out to be true, since another opportunity for fighting presented itself and she did something impressive. Trojans weren't as surprised as the greeks were when Hector slaughtered Menelaus to save Paris from that hopeless combat, unleashing a new battle through the breaking of the pact. To them it was clear that the story of the shieldmaiden who defied the concept of honor replacing her younger brother to save him must had inspired the heir prince. Curiously but not casually, a great victory was obtained and both performed the highlights of it. Barely after Hector triumphed in his solitary combat against Ajax, the lady forced the definitive retreat of the greeks for the day by attacking the mycenaeans. 

Her spear throw killed the charioteer of Agamemnon. Not satisfied with that, she wounded him with the sword as he was attempting to control the horses. Nothing severe, the blade barely caressed his arm, but it reminded the power delirious king that he was a mortal and in that opportunity she did reclaimed the feat knowing it would increase his humiliation.  

The very same men who were judging her in silence that morning celebrated her alongside Hector in the afternoon. She was invited to the palace, where King Priam allowed her to be acknowledged through his son's choice of allowing her involvement. She promised him to help in the case of her niece, if she could be allowed after the immense offense she gave to the supreme greek king. Helen herself praised her bravery, granting hers and Paris' support altogether. 

It was like a dream, a very vivid dream where she was getting noticed being who she wanted to be. Even Hector, the man she had hopelessly loved in silence for many years, was looking at her in a different way. 

Among the ladies of trojan high society she never felt particularly special and nothing made her feel that way. Despite being daughter of one of the local nobles in his own city, Hector barely noticed her. She used to be one of the many silly girls looking at him with pointless adoration at some special social event while his eyes followed only the frame of Princess Andromache of Thebe. A woman who represented everything she wasn't, a perfectly adjusted lady any man would want for a wife.

The order of the world was turned upside down, Hector couldn't take his eyes of her. Even without the disguise he still seemed to admire her and she felt it hitting way deeper than what the moral undertones of his speech implied. 

" If I have been an inspiration for you, let me say I can finally repay you." He shamelessly admitted her as soon as they were left alone. " You inspired me today, sometimes you need strength to leave your honor behind for love." 

" Is that an invitation?" She teased him. " Don't keep me waiting, I'm not a child anymore."

Hector sipped some wine without breaking eye contact through the action, then left the cup to subtly lay a hand on her cheek.

" Then you must be aware of how you are making me feel." 

She lifted her head just a bit, showing how delighted with his touch she was. 

" How can I doubt it when you are looking at me like this?" She purred with want. " I fully meant what I told you this morning. Pick me, I could be yours if you want me. "

Infatuated as he was, he could have proposed ríght there after that suggestive comeback, but he límited himself to kissing her hoping that could help him slow down.