#Self - Development

[becomingthatgirl111]

be aware of what you consume:

the energy of others: surround yourself with positive people and avoid those who drain you.

the videos you watch: select content that inspires, educates or entertains you in a healthy way.

what you read: look for reliable sources and material that enriches you intellectually.

who you follow: follow people who inspire and challenge you to grow.

what you scroll through on social media: avoid negative content and look for something that motivates you or makes you feel good.

the news: look for objective sources of information and avoid information overload.

highlights of others: compare less and celebrate more the achievements of others.

the advice you listen to: evaluate advice according to your criteria and needs.

source: @zamirasaba

[sugarsprinklesoul]

HOW TO REMAIN THE BEST YOU

Move in silence

Take care of your mind, body and soul

Be picky about who you let around you

Work towards a goal

Decide and enforce your boundaries

Actions over words

Allow yourself to feel your feelings but then let them pass

Focus on what you are doing now

Learn how to use your traits and skills effectively

Tell yourself postive affirmations

[ros3ybabe]

🎀 Overcoming Gym Anxiety 🎀

I got asked about this through my inbox by @sxfiaaa so I figured I'd make a post about it and hopefully help a lot of people with something I too used to struggle with!

🩷 Wear Comfortable Clothing

We've all seen the beautifully dressed people on Tiktok, Pinterest, etc in their matching sets and cutr gym clothes. If that is what you're comfortable wearing to the gym, do it! Wear it, and be confident in it! If you're more of a loose clothes/sweatpants/baggy shirts or hoodie type of person, do that! Wear whatever you feel comfortable (and cute) in, because the better you feel going into a workout, the more you'll be able to focus on your workout!

🩷 Know What You're Doing When You're There

This just means go in with a plan! You don't need to know how to use every single machine or do every single exercise known to mankind. Scroll tiktok or pinterest for some workout videos for inspo (please make sure the video you get inspo from shows proper form!!! Proper form is so important for being safe!!)

If you know you can go certain days of the week, make a workout split to follow that! EX 3 day split: Monday - Leg Day, Wednesday - Upper Body, Friday - Full Body

OR, if you just want to go do cardio, then plan for that! I didn't know how to use a treadmill, but I went to the gym at my university and stood on the treadmill til I figured it out!

🩷 Remember This

No one is going to look at you and judge you or think mean things about you. Everyone is at the gym for the purpose of bettering themselves and their health. If you find people giving you occasional glances, maybe it's because they don't recognize you from the gym (or they do recognize you from somewhere else), maybe their admiring your outfit/physique, maybe their avid gym goers who are watching your form and technique, or maybe their just zoned out and you happen to be in the line of sight.

When I'm at the gym, I look around between sets and take note on other people's form to see if maybe I should tweak the way I do a certain exercise, or I'm admiring another girls outfit or physique because there are a lot of beautiful women at the gym. Sometimes, I'm thinking "dang, they're lifting so heavy, how cool!" or "wow, their form is amazing, they really know what they're doing." I've never thought bad abut someone at the gym because why would I?

🩷 Don't Be Scared To Ask For Help

if there an exercise you really want to do but don't know how and videos aren't helping, ask someone around you who isn't in the middle of an exercise and looks like they may know. The guy at the gym doing upper body who has good biceps may be the right guy to ask about upper body exercises. The girl doing impeccable Bulgarian Split Squats might be the right person to ask for help with those types of movements. Just make sure they aren't in the middle of an exercise, because that can cause some unwanted issues, especially if they're mid-rep, that can turn into a safety issue.

People love to help people, especially at the gym. If you politely ask for help from someone, they may take it as a compliment that you think they look like a person who is knowledgeable on working out. I'd definitely be so flattered if someone asked me for help or advice at the gym!

🩷 Random Advice:

remember your why! no matter how anxious you are, remember why you're going! what are your goals, what do you hope to achieve, how proud will you feel after?

start small if you have to! if it's really anxiety inducing to start working out, make it your first goal to at least step into the gym. then 2nd goal, walk around the gym to get a feel for it. 3rd goal, maybe 5-10 minutes on a treadmill, and then keep building momentum each day.

be careful with the hours you go! there is such a thing as peak gym hours. It varies by place, but a lot of gyms are busy between 2pm and 6pm I've seen. I personally love going to the gym super early morning, it's a little less busy and I'm a morning person so it works out for me! If you can only go during peak hours, bring a friend or keep your headphones on and do your thing!

Bring a friend! If you're really anxious about going alone, bring a friend with similar goals! Sometimes it can be a lot nicer to learn something new with a friend then try and learn it on your own! Plus, it's like extra motivation and accountability!

Have a motivating pre workout routine. Play some music while getting ready, prep your bags, prep your playlist, get your workout itself figured out, and just keep yourself excited to go! I love blasting high-energy music that makes me feel like a baddie on my way to the gym.

I hope this was helpful!! My thoughts were everywhere but I tried to convey them as best as possible! I'm happy to answer any questions or offer more tips and advice, don't feel scared to ask! <3

til next time lovelies 🩷

[itskinaya]

Digital Balance

•ﻌ• Set limits: It's like trying to put a leash on a wild animal, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Use apps or built-in features to limit your screen time on your devices.

•ﻌ• Find some hobbies: Get something else to do besides staring at your screens all day. Try painting, hiking, knitting, or whatever floats your boat.

•ﻌ• Schedule screen-free time: Designate certain hours of the day as screen-free time. Yeah, I know it's gonna be hard as hell, but you have to commit to this to break from technology.

•ﻌ• Get outside: Instead of binge-watching Netflix, go outside and get some fresh air. Take a walk, ride a bike, or just sit down in a park and enjoy nature.

•ﻌ• Prioritize face-to-face: Meeting face-to-face can help build stronger connections. Instead of texting or DMing your friends, meet up with them in person.

•ﻌ• Set achievable goals: It may be hard, but taking one step at a time will help. Gradually reduce your screen time and stick to it like glue.

[lovelylau]

[xoxomireya]

ꪆ🍦ৎ﹐boundary setting﹑⎘﹒

I. GET TO KNOW YOURSELF.

Look for the root of the problem. Maybe you’re stuck being a people pleaser, or maybe you don’t even know what your boundaries are.

If you identify with the first one, ask yourself why are you a people pleaser. Independently of the situation that might be making you act like this, internalize the thought that bending backwards for the sake of other people and completely disregarding your needs and values will destroy your sense of self-love and self-respect and make people lose respect for you, making you miserable. Surround yourself with communicative people and stop trying to guess everyone’s needs, it’s their job to communicate them to you. Do things you’ve always wanted to do in order to practice focusing on yourself and having your space all to yourself instead of giving it away that easily.

If you identify with the second one, you might need some time alone to reconnect with yourself. The way you find out who you are and what you want is to spend time with yourself, because you naturally gravitate towards what feels good to you. At the end of the day, you’re going to be stuck with yourself for the rest of your life, so turn this into something positive. Start meditating, journaling and look for question prompts to get to know yourself better. Once you know who you are and what you want, setting boundaries is going to be a piece of cake.

What boundaries should we set?

Even if there are some non-negotiables, everyone has their own boundaries. Set boundaries that make you feel respected, comfortable and authentic. Tune into your emotions and thoughts and stay true to yourself.

II. SETTING BOUNDARIES.

Now, this is the hard part. Once you know what you’re boundaries are, approach the situation by what you consider the best approach: assertively, politely… But without diminishing what’s bothering you. State the problem calmly and how it affects and bothers you.

Don’t make this whole situation into a bigger deal than it is, be chill about it and don’t act emotional or upset. Remember that you don’t have to apologize or explain yourself too much, you also have a right to say no and you don’t need an excuse not to do something that you’re uncomfortable with doing.

What do you do if someone tries crossing them?

If you’ve told someone about your boundaries and they still try crossing them on purpose, they’re out. Letting someone disrespect you is an act of self-deprecation, and if they do something once, they will most definitely do it again. Don’t be upset over it and tell them calmly that if your boundaries make them uncomfortable enough to not respect them, it’s better to part ways. Let them go.

III. BOUNDARIES WITH OURSELVES

It’s even harder to set boundaries with ourselves than it is to set them with other people. We’re always making excuses for our acts of self-deprecation. We even keep making depreciative acts against ourselves subconsciously, making it even harder to change it and set boundaries.

Here are some examples of acts of self-love and setting boundaries with ourselves:

Limit the time spent on social media and stop consuming content that makes you sad.

Learn your triggers and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Communicating with other when you feel uncomfortable, hurt or upset.

IV. TYPES OF BOUNDARIES.

Physical Boundaries: These refer to personal space and physical touch. They include awareness of what’s appropriate, and what’s not, in different settings and types of relationships. They also include preferences for respect, privacy, closeness and touch.

Sexual Boundaries: These are related to consent and include the emotional, intellectual and physical aspects of sexuality. Healthy sexual boundaries involve mutual sexual understanding and respect of limitations and desires between sexual partners.

Emotional Boundaries: These refer to how your own and other’s emotional needs are handled. They are all about respecting and honoring feelings and energy. Setting emotional boundaries means recognizing how much emotional energy you are capable of taking in, knowing when to share and when not to share, and limiting emotional sharing with people who respond poorly.

Spiritual Boundaries: They relate to your deepest values, sense of meaning, and inner truth guiding your life journey. They anchor you when outer forces challenge your identity or purpose.

Financial Boundaries: These boundaries are designed to protect your financial well-being, maintain healthy relationships, and ensure you are not taken advantage of financially. Financial boundaries can cover a wide range of areas, including lending money, sharing expenses, giving financial advice, and discussing personal financial details.

Time Boundaries: Time boundaries are the limits you set on how much time you spend on different tasks, activities, and relationships. They help you prioritize your goals, protect your energy, and avoid burnout.

How do these boundaries benefit you?

Boundaries should help you establish and maintain healthy relationships with others and yourself by helping us build trust, safety and respect. They also prevent burnout and resentment, and protect our mental health and wellbeing

[nodalstudies]

friday, april 26, 2024 | day 26/60 📼

today was beautiful! i co-coordinated an event where i got to spend time in the presence of creatives and other community-centered folks 🥹 it was a reminder to indulge in joy, connection, and care. life is not just about productive productive productive. investing in my future is important but the present is worth my attention, too. fall in love with the path over the outcome.

habit tracking 🎤 academics: x fitness: 3+ miles on the treadmill spiritual growth: meditated, prayed, journaled, listened to my body

[nikasholistic]

✨IG: nikasholistic✨

[thatgirlchallenge]

going through such a crazy obsession of work lmaooo. Here is a little quote !

" It really does take one day to change the trajectory of your life. Just one day. Is your dream life not worth one day ?"

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

25 Laws of power for women

Conceal your goals especially the ones that are appealing. Losing weight, reinventing yourself, marrying wealthy. Instead talk about your altruistic goals - to help children, invest in education, this will chase insecure people with vile intentions.

Do not give anyone your source of power: Was is a book that changed your life? a mentor? a movie? Never give up your secret to success. If forced to do say allude to God, the universe, the a random phenomenon

Use the patriarchy to your favor; we live in a world that is, only associate with men who have power, use that power for good.

Never appear too perfect but be selectively vulnerable when needed. Only share something that you will be comfortable saying. You might say “I forget my keys all the time,” “I don’t know how to perfectly park a car “. But never disclose something you are not comfortable with just because you are afraid of being perfect.

Maintain distance in relationships. Friends are the best and you need them. But if you feel that they are becoming too dependent, see them at your own will. But also the reverse could be the case. Your friend may keep a distance, and that is the way of life. You have got to move on from it.

Develop your own style that makes you unique, beautiful, and elegant. Avoid trying to fit in the crowd of people who claim to care less about their style yet have too many opinions about other women’s style

Avoid male friends at all cost, you will have male colleagues, male bosses, male acquaintances, business partners. Keep it that way. You do not want a Truman Capote divulging your secrets to the world. Do not keep a man who does not fit your standard.

You do not have to win at every game. Pick and choose what is best for you and leave room for others. And step down if you have attained that level of success, do not let the society do it for you.

Trust people but remember that we are all humans. So trust with discretion!

Confuse people with kindness; people are not always comfortable with beautiful and intelligent women. That power is too intimidating so confuse them by being genuinely generous, curious, kind, and passionate.

Keep your strong opinions to yourself.. if you support a movement, a way of life, do so silently.

We all have dirty laundry, wash them privately, don’t expose yourself. Remain silent when people try to attack you or shame you. Whatever is not confirmed is not true. You are the only one who knows all the truth about you.

Don’t attract pity or praise: People who pity you do not help you, in fact they might think that you are weak and could mock you at their annual gossipping meeting. And if you are doing things for the sake of praise you are wasting your time.

Choose yourself all the time; never put any one’s feelings above yours.

Trust your own intuition if you feel someone is being malicious towards you, giving you back handed compliments then you should let them go

Never speak bad of another woman. Do not lazy around gossipping. Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear.

Avoid women with low self esteem they will bring you down. For some reason they do not like seeing other women who are doing better than them

Be careful who you seek validation from. Not everyone needs to be pleased. If they are in no way capable of contributing to your life in the ways you prefer, then don’t ask them for their opinions or please them.

Do not compete with other women, if you do you are only putting them on a pedestal. You are making the the standard by which you measure your progress. If you do compete, begin digging your grave.

Do not give unsolicited advice, do not share the inner workings of your mind, If your mouth is very charitable you better start journaling.

Be well-rounded and interesting. It attracts people. It also keeps you busy because you are continually improving and learning. An idle mind is an easily subdued one.

Avoid women who want to live vicariously through you; they want to know who you know, shop where you shop, befriend who you befriend, wear what you wear.

Pay attention to the source of your discomfort; get rid of them. You tell them your dreams and they remind you of all your hindrances. They ask why are you dressed so fancy as though fancy isn’t subjective. They undermine you interests and goals. They will also be quick to bring you down because they are afraid of your potential.

Do not fear power or please power. When we see powerful people we try to hard to befriend them, to be close to them but you need to be comfortable without them. Don’t push yourself in the name of friendship, do not try too hard to be in their inner circle. Your independence of mind is the most important. Instead become a powerful woman, aloof to the presence of power but aware of its importance. Be an ingenious and intelligent and use your creativity to uplift yourself. When you do so it will be hard to ignore you. Even the powerful will become an ally.

Enjoy moments of solitude. Use that time to develop yourself, improve your body, learn new skills, create with your mind, read widely, become more elegant, then launch yourself.

Remember the most powerful women are the most intelligent. Inspired by Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. Use at your discretion.

[sugarsprinklesoul]

Stop doing these things to become your best self

Holding onto habits out of comfort. Your bad habits are stripping you from the life you want.

Hiding from vulnerability. Vulnerability is a strength. it makes you authentic. do not hide it just because the wrong people can't appreciate it.

Letting others guide your life. Live your life on your own settings. Only you know your own reality.

Chasing after people who are running. You're wasting your time and energy. once you stop chasing, the right people will simply find you.

Blaming others. You control your actions and reactions. choose to find happiness.

[4theitgirls]

the it girl’s spring cleaning

phone reset

delete old contacts and messages

go through social media following

delete unused apps

go through photos

set a new wallpaper

add widgets for reminders, weather, battery, etc.

delete old songs and add new ones

environmental reset

clean your bedroom (vacuum, dust, put clothes away, etc.)

sort through and donate old clothes

organize your makeup, skincare, etc.

wash or change your bedsheets

rearrange your bedroom

open your windows and curtains to let fresh air in

get outdoors

clean your home with fresh scented products (lemon, lavender, etc.)

physical reset

try a new workout routine

get some new outfits

do a face mask

exfoliate and shave

oil your hair or do a hair mask

try a new hair color, cut, or style

do your nails or get your nails done

get some fresh makeup and try a new makeup routine

do a lip mask and scrub

mental reset

start journaling or try some new prompts

do a refreshing meditation

try a new yoga practice or workout

read instead of scrolling

put a time limit on your phone usage

reset your sleep schedule

[livvyliveslife]

14 Habits to pick up for 2024 ✨

1 - plan tomorrow, today - outline tasks and priorities for the next day before going to bed 2 - set a timer for breaks - use a timer to ensure that short breaks don't turn into extended distractions 3 - quick digital detox - step away from electronic devices for 15 mins to clear your mind 4 - limit screen time before bed - reduce screen time at least 30 mins before bedtime for better sleep 5 - visualise success - picture achieving your goals to enhance motivation and focus 6 - declutter for 10 mins - spend some time decluttering to feel a sense of accomplishment 7 - learn something new - dedicate a short time to learning a new fact, skill or concept daily 8 - positive self talk - replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations throughout the day 9 - tech free meal time - enjoy at least 1 meal a day free from electronic distractions 10 - quick physical activity - squeeze in a short burst of physical activity - like a quick workout or a brisk walk 11 - set daily goals - outline specific, achievable goals for the day to stay on track 12 - prioritise one task - identify and focus on a single priority each day for increased productivity 13 - hydrate first thing - drink a tall glass of water right after waking up to rehydrate the body 14 - morning stretches - incorporate a brief stretching routine to boost energy

[prettieinpink]

SELF VALIDATION

First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness. 

E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself. 

VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth. 

SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test. 

BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily. 

BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.

STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.

SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.

DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor. 

KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority. 

OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day. 

BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret. 

[oceane4loveu]

VICTORIA SECRET ANGEL ULTIMATE GLOW UP🩰

LONGER LASHES🎀

-USE CASTER/COCONUT OIL TO YOUR LASHES BEFORE BED

-MASSAGE YOUR EYELIDS TO STIMULATE GROWTH

-AVOID EYELASH CURLERS INSTEAD USE YOUR FINGERS

-USE COLD GREEN TEA TO YOUR EYELASHES WITH A COTTON BALL

-AVOID MAKEUP WIPES INSTEAD USE A BALM/OIL, MELTING SPRAY, OR MICELLAR WATER

WHITE TEETH☁️

-USE CREST WHITENING STRIPS

-TAKE A SPOONFUL OF COCONUT OIL FOR 10- 20 MINUTES

-USE A WHITENING MOUTHWASH

-START USING A WHITENING PEN

-BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH BAKING SODA AND HYDROGEN PEROXIDE 3X A WEEK

-USE A CREST WHITENING TOOTHPASTE

SMOOTHER SKIN 🫧

-NEVER DRY SHAVE!!!

-USE A DRY BRUSH PR AN EXFOLIATE ROCK TO REMOVE DEAD SKIN

-PUT PLASTIC WRAP OVER VASELINE ON YOUR SKIN AND LEAVE IT ON FOR AN HOUR

-START USING BODY OIL AND BODY BUTTER AFTER A SHOWER

-USE A MENS RAZOR FOR A CLOSER SHAVE

-MAINTAIN A HEALTHY AND CONSISTENT DIET

-START USING SUGAR SCRUBS IN THE SHOWER

HEALTHY HAIR 🧺

-RESEARCH YOUR HAIR TYPE TO FIND THE BEST PRODUCTS FOR YOU

-START USING A SILK PILLOWCASE

-AVOID APPLYING HEAT TO YOUR HAIR

-STOP GOING TO SLEEP WITH WET HAIR

-WASH YOUR HAIR LESS OFTEN

-START USING A HAIR MASK IX A WEEK

-PROTECT YOUR HAIR WHILE SWIMMING

-START TAKING COLD SHOWERS

CLEAR SKIN 🧴

-WASH YOUR PILLOWCASE AND SHEETS EVERY SINGLE WEEK

-CLEAN YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES ONCE A WEEK

-DRINK 2 LITERS OF WATER EVERYDAY

-INCORPORATE SPF IN YOUR DAILY SKINCARE

-EXFOLIATE 2-3X A WEEK

-AVOID GREASY FOOD IN YOUR DIET

-START ICING YOUR FACE EVERYDAY

-DO NOT FALL ASLEEP IN YOUR MAKEUP

-WASH YOUR FACE BEFORE/AFTER YOU WORK OUT

-RESEARCH YOUR SKIN TYPE

[theambitiouswoman]

Emotionally healthy people are quitters ✨

Emotionally healthy people are quitters. They make choices that align with their well being. Quitting a relationship, partnership or job that makes you unhappy is a sign of self awareness. If someone stays in something bad for too long, it's not because they're strong, but because they're afraid or have low self esteem. Being emotionally healthy means having awareness, setting boundaries, and knowing when it's time to move on from situations that no longer serve you. It's about prioritizing your mental and emotional health over sticking with something that's causing you harm or making you unhappy.

Emotionally healthy people also tend to have good communication skills. They express their feelings and needs calmly, openly and honestly. They also look for guidance and enlightenment because they understand that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness.

They make decisions out of self love rather than attachment or fear. When you prioritize loving yourself, you make choices that align with your happiness and growth, rather than staying in situations out of comfort or insecurity.

Recognizing when you have an unhealthy attachment or that your feelings may not be conducive to your well being is important. It allows you to take a step back, evaluate the situation objectively, and make choices that are in line with your best interests.

Sometimes holding on can lead to more pain and struggle than necessary. It's a sign of emotional maturity to recognize when a situation is no longer good for you and to have the strength to let it go.

Things that are genuinely right for you should not cause you harm or emotional pain. Choosing pain is a sign of a lack of self love. Recognizing the need for change, prioritizing self love, and making healthier choices is how you begin to change your life.

Reframe your mindset from “this is hurting me because I love it” to “this is hurting me because I do not love me.”